#taking a short break though idk if i'll do it all tonight. i just might. unsure though.

[moe-broey]

WAUGH...... ALL OF BOOK ONE............ DONE. For my quotes blogs. I just gotta type it all out now 🧍👍

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Still With You | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter Four

Summary: You go out with Jimin to a cute cafe called Bora before you meet up with Jungkook Pairing: Luna (reader) x Jungkook and Jimin, f2l love triangle Word Count: 4.4k~ a/n: I haven't updated this story in a while and idk why lol I've had it finished for a while but I guess here you go lmao. Hope you enjoy! Start from the beginning

Today has been nothing short of exhausting, both mentally and physically. Grey is coming in later today and Sunghoon had to leave early so I've been on my own for most of the day.

Unfortunately my uncle has left me with the task of deep cleaning the store tonight so that alone has been keeping me busy as well as the heavier than usual traffic that's been coming through today. 

Grey should be here in an hour though so I just need to pull through until then. I haven't been able to take a break yet today so I'm definitely gonna take a longer one when she finally shows up. The customers today haven't been too bad but just their existence is putting me in a bad mood, worse than most days and I'm not exactly sure why.

"I really need to get a new job" I say under my breath. "What kind of job are you looking for Noona?" I hear right behind me. I jump at the unexpected response and turn around to figure out who the voice belongs to. "Jimin you scared me!" I say while punching him in the shoulder not realizing I had done so until I see his reaction. 

"Oh my gosh I'm sorry I didn't mean to!" I say with a slightly panicked expression. "It's okay Noona I deserved it" he responds while rubbing his shoulder at the point of contact. "Are you sure you're okay? It was kind of an automatic response" I say giving him a once over. "I'm fine don't worry about it" he responds while getting ahold of my hand. 

I jolt slightly at the unexpected contact and look up at him with a questioning gaze. "Just make it up to me when we hang out later tonight okay?" he says with a slightly flirtatious tone. "Oh um okay? How should I do that?" I ask, curious as to what he might be implying. "I'm sure you'll figure something out" he says while letting go of my hand.

"So um" I pause clearing my throat, getting rid of the slightly flustered tone to my whole demeanor. "What are you doing here?" I question while walking back behind the counter.

"I just wanted to check in again and make sure that we are still on for tonight" he says following me to the opposite side. "Oh tonight, yeah I should be fine to hang out tonight" I respond trying to get the words out before I get a chance to trip over them. 

"Okay great! So is eight thirty still okay?" he questions. "Yes eight thirty should be fine" I confirm. "So I'll see you then!" he says excitement clearly written all over his face. "Yeah but, did you need anything else?" I question trying to figure out the reason behind his extra visit today. "Nope I just wanted to confirm our plans for tonight" he says leaning his body up against the counter. 

"You could've just texted me" I say shaking my head at his eagerness. "I know but I just wanted to see you before then" he says with a slight pout. "Okay well you've seen me, but I really have to get back to work now. I'll see you tonight okay?" I say hoping he'll take a hint and start to head out. "Okay Noona see you tonight" he says and makes his way out with a slight smile.

Just as he's leaving Grey finally makes her way into the store as well. "Wasn't that Jimin?" she questions immediately after walking up to the counter. "Nice to see you too Grey" I say rolling my eyes at her. "Yeah yeah whatever now can you please tell me what he was doing here? I thought he wasn't supposed to come until later on tonight" she says slightly confused. 

"I guess he just wanted to come by and confirm our plans in person" I say while waving it off hoping to change the subject. "He could've just texted you" she responds. "That's exactly what I said but he just said that he wanted to see me before then" I say still trying to make sense of it all. 

"He just seems oddly clingy already and I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it" I respond honestly. "Well I'm glad we're on the same page. I just hope tonight you can set some boundaries with him. Even Jungkook doesn't show up everyday and he's your best friend" she says making sense of the steps I should take.

"Okay but what am I supposed to say? 'Hey it's nice of you to come by to see me but I don't really want you to do it all the time.' Isn't that a bit harsh?" I question trying to figure out what I should say. "I mean not really, you've gotta protect yourself you know. You don't want this to turn into something unhealthy" she warns. 

"You mean like a stalker? I don't think he's like that" I say hoping to throw away her doubts about him along with mine. "Yeah maybe you're right, but just be careful alright? I don't want to have to call the police and have them looking for you because you never came back tonight" she warns. 

"Okay I got it. I'll make sure to bring my pepper spray with me and stay somewhere well lit. Will that make you happy?" I say hoping to switch topics.

"Yeah I guess, just don't get murdered. Lord knows your uncle would have my head if something were to happen to you" she says while heading back into the break room to put her stuff away and grab her vest and name tag.

Once she comes back I get up to switch places with her so I can take my well earned breaks. "Where are you going?" she asks as she watches me take off my vest.

"Sunghoon had to leave early so I haven't had a chance to take a break yet. I'm gonna take my first and second break together okay? I'll stay back there in case you need me, but try not to need me" I say waving as I head off. 

"Yeah whatever" is all I hear in response as the back door cuts off anything else she might've said. Laying down on the sofa we have back there I stretch out my whole body already feeling the soreness in my back from going between helping customers and cleaning the shelves.

I check my phone for the first time in a few hours and see that I have a few messages from Jungkook.

Hey Luna Noona I can't wait for tonight!

I still have no idea what you're planning but I'm expecting something epic!

Your shift ends at ten right? Or was it ten thirty? I don't remember.

Either way I'll be there at ten!  he finishes.

My shift ends at ten thirty so you can just come then. No need to come early I respond smiling at his excitement. Why are people suddenly so excited to spend time with me?

And don't call me that! I add in protest.

See you at ten Luna Noona ;)  he ends, responding right away.

I roll my eyes in response and lock my phone. I still haven't totally processed everything that happed between Jungkook and I the other night. Well more like avoided the topic all together, filling my days and nights since then with nonsensical topics. 

Avoidance is my first line of defense and although it's not the best way to deal with things, it really is the only way I can keep myself together these days.

I hope things go well tonight with both Jungkook and Jimin, I've just gotta remember to not overthink it. Just take a deep breath and be my normal chill carefree self and things will be fine. 

I scroll through my social media and see that I have a follow request from none other than Jimin. I guess I'll accept it before I meet up with him. I don't want to give him something to pout over.

After accepting the request and following him back I see that he immediately accepts my request as well as goes to like some of my recent posts, clearly showing me that he's going through my account.

'You look so cute Noona' he comments on my most recent one of a picture of Grey and I.

I like his comment and lock my phone ignoring the rest of his efforts to contact me. I need to show him that I've got stuff to take care of and I can't talk to him all day. Hopefully if I ignore him until my next break he'll back off a bit. Then again I still don't know him so who knows. 

I close my eyes for what I think is a few minutes and am suddenly woken up by my alarm signaling the end of my breaks. I sigh and straighten myself out and make moves to head back into the store and to my delight it is completely empty. 

"How is it when I'm by myself there are a shit ton of customers but once you get there they magically disappear?" I complain after casing the joint. "Don't know don't care" she says, continuing to scroll through her phone. 

"Lover boy requested to follow me" she says nonchalantly still engrossed in whatever she's looking at. "Really?" I say in confusion. "But he hasn't ever spoken to you before right?" I question. "Well yes and no" she says putting down her phone. 

"Meaning?" I question, intrigued as to what sort of interaction they've had. "Well he came around the other day when you had the day off asking for you" she says resting her arm on the counter and propping her head on top of her hand. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask. "Well he told me he would text you or something, but guessing by your reaction he didn't" she says starting to get tired of the conversation. "Yeah well I guess he forgot. Next time tell me if he shows up okay?" I implore starting to get a weird feeling about all of this.

~~~~

As the day slowly turns to night I get a text from Jimin letting me know he's on his way. "Do I look okay?" I ask starting to get a bit anxious. "Yeah you look fine" she says not even bothering to look up from her phone. 

"Grey you didn't even look at me" I say rolling my eyes at her. "Dude I've been with you for hours, I know what you look like" she says looking up at me for a second. "Although you might wanna go look in the mirror and brush your hair or something" she says going back to what she was doing before. 

"Why didn't you tell me that before?" I question, running into the back to freshen up my appearance a bit more. "You didn't ask until now" she yells after me.

I quickly brush my hair like she said and put on a fresh layer of lip gloss and a light sprits of perfume before I head back out and in the process I hear the door open signaling a new customer coming in. 

"Welcome" she greets, uninterested in the newcomer. "Hi um is Luna here?" I hear Jimin ask, sounding a bit shy. "Yeah she's in the back but she should be coming out soon if you wanna wait" she informs him. "Okay thanks, just let her know I'll be waiting outside" he says and I hear his voice fade and hear the bell again signaling his departure.

I peek out from behind the door and motion to Grey nonverbally asking about my appearance yet again. She nods her head and I stand up straight and head out only to hear her say "See you at nine alright, I've still gotta take my last break too". I simply make an okay sign with my hands and walk out. 

I'm greeted with the sight of Jimin taking in the surrounding stores and people that are passing through the area, clearly lost in thought still not aware of my presence. "Sorry I kept you waiting" is all I say to catch his attention. "Noona! Ready to go?" he says while holding his hand out to me, which I in turn take it and let him lead the way.

"So where are we going?" I ask curious as to what he has in mind. "It's this new café called 'Bora' the interior is purple and they have a lot of cute purple themed drinks! I thought it might be a cool place to hang out together. Plus the vibes there are really chill and you seem to radiate chill energy" he says looking over to me and slightly swinging our interlocked hands. 

"Purple is actually my favorite color" I say surprised that I haven't heard about it yet. "I was hoping you would say that! I remember the first day that I met you you were wearing a cute purple shirt with two different purple earrings" he says laughing to himself while recalling the memory. 

"Wait really? Why didn't you tell me?" I say slightly embarrassed at my slip up. "Well I wan't sure if you had done it on purpose, plus it looked really good on you!" he says smiling at me while starting to take smaller strides. Realizing that he might be dragging me along since our height difference is very apparent and in turn makes my legs a lot shorter than his. Once we fall into step we walk in comfortable silence until we reach Bora.

Opening the door we're met by a dark purple interior that is accompanied by a brilliant neon sign spelling out the location's namesake in an equally stunning shade of purple. 

"This place is amazing! How did you find it?" I say scanning the room and taking everything in. "I saw that it just opened a few weeks ago on SNS and I forgot about it until I started to wrack my brain for places you might like to go" he says while shyly rubbing the back of his neck. He's actually quite adorable now that I think about it, with those lips that seem to be in a constant pout supporting my observation. 

"Did you wanna go up and order or should I pick something out for you while you find us a seat?" he questions making eye contact with me for the first time since we set foot inside. Seeing his face in this lighting I can't help but notice his more chiseled features and I again am reminded of our height difference since I'm having to look up at him. 

Breathe Luna it's okay it's just Jimin, just be yourself. "Surprise me" I say while settling on giving him a slight smile. "Okay I'll be right back why don't you go look over in that section and I'll meet you there" he says while pointing me towards the seating area and gently ghosting his hand on the small of my back and quickly makes his way further into the building to what I assume is the counter to order.

Shaking off the slight chill I got from the unexpected contact I make my way over to a booth near a window so we can enjoy the city lights. Even though this might not be the best part of town the lights at night are still beautiful. I get lost in thought and start humming along to the music that's playing in the background. 

"Boo" I hear right next to my ear making my whole body tense up. "Don't DO that!" I scold turning towards him seeing a huge smile on his face. "I'm sorry Noona I couldn't help it" he admits trying to hold back his laughter. 

"Well please refrain from doing that, my heart can only take so much" I say clutching my chest in a teasing manner. "Okay okay I promise I won't do that again...tonight" he says, teasing me right back. "I swear I can never catch a break these days. Now are you gonna tell me what kind of drinks you got or are you just gonna let them melt" I say nodding towards the tray he just placed down. 

"Oh yeah my bad. This one is called 'Bora' after the café itself and its a purple slush with passion fruit, dragon fruit, and blue raspberry flavoring. While this one is called 'Nabi' which is iced butterfly pea flower tea with raspberry and pomegranate. I wasn't sure if you were the coffee or tea type of person but I figured you might not want to drink something with caffeine this late at night" he explains cutely hoping he picked out at least one item I might enjoy. 

"They both look amazing! Do you think I could take the slush? It looks so good!" I implore. "Sure go right ahead, I also got us a slice of Purple Ube cake to share. I hope you don't mind" he says nervously again.

He's really trying to not mess this up, it's so endearing seeing how much effort he's putting into this. "That's perfect, thank you!" I say while grabbing a fork and taking the first bite.

"Mmm this is amazing!" I say savoring the mild but sweet flavors. I look up at him and see that he's just looking at me with puppy eyes clearly enjoying my reactions. "What?" I laugh nervously while grabbing a napkin and wiping off the corners of my mouth hoping I don't have anything on my face. 

"Nothing, you're just really cute Noona" he says and picks up his fork and takes a bite of the cake right after I do. I clear my throat moving past the compliment trying not to acknowledge it. 

"So back in the store earlier you said you needed to get a new job. Do you have something in mind?" he says clearly understanding the need to change the subject. "Oh um not really I've just been pretty sick of my job honestly since I first started but I can seem to find anything better to do and I hate being the new girl" I say feeling defeated. 

"That's understandable, it can be nerve racking breaking into a new industry especially when you've become almost comfortable in your current job" he responds. "Well it's not so much that. It's more like the irritating feeling being a helpless idiot until I finally get used to everything. I hate asking for help" I admit honestly. 

"Yeah I can tell, you seem very independent so I can see why that could make you uncomfortable. I assure you though that if you find a company that values their employees then I'm sure that you coworkers would be more than happy to help you learn the ropes. Everyone is new at some point in their lives" he responds with a warm smile.

I feel almost lighter after talking about some of the things that have been weighing on my mind that I almost forget that I have to go back to work. 

We're startled out of our conversation by my alarm and I can't help but feel a bit disappointed that we have to wrap this up so soon. "Well that's my alarm reminding me to start walking back. Thank you so much! I had a really good time" I say with a genuine smile on my face. 

"I did too! Thanks for giving me a chance to get to know you better. Here let me walk you back to the store" he says getting up and stretching his hand out towards me. "Thank you, I would really appreciate it" I respond while hesitantly accepting his outstretched hand. 

"Of course, what kind of man would I be if I didn't make sure you got back alright. Plus this gives us a chance to spend a little more time together" he says while leading us though the café to the exit. Once we're outside we're hit with a sudden breeze and I bring my hands up and hug myself as a pitiful excuse for generating warmth.

I suddenly feel myself being wrapped in a blanket of warmth and realize that he's draped his jacket over my shoulders. 

"You don't have to do that, it's my fault for not bringing a coat. Here take it back you're gonna get cold too" I say while trying to take the jacket off my shoulders but am soon stopped by him placing both hands on my shoulders trapping the jacket underneath his hands to make sure I can't remove it. 

"It's alright Noona I really don't mind, plus I'm wearing a hoodie as well so I don't really feel cold at the moment. It's not too long of a walk anyways so go ahead and use it for now" he says and goes back to stand next to me and entwines our fingers together and leads me back to the store. 

Once we get closer he stops just short of it which in turn stops me as well. "What is it?" I ask giving him a questioning look. "I just wanted to let you know that I had a really nice time tonight and I would love to do it again. Maybe we could spend some time together on one of your days off?" he asks hopeful for my acceptance of his proposition.

"Sure I'd love that!" I say looking up at him. I see him glance down at my lips and back to my eyes before slowly leaning in. I stop him tentatively with a gentle hand placed on his chest.

"Jimin" I say, feeling breathless at the change in atmosphere. "Yes Noona?" he questions resting his forehead against mine. "I don't think this is a good idea" I say wracking my brain for the best way to go about shutting this down. 

"Oh, okay" he says while leaning back and resuming his previous up right posture. "It's just that, I really think we should get to know each other better" I say hoping he won't take it in the wrong way. "It's okay I understand, I agree let's take things slow" he says with an understanding smile. "I'll text you tomorrow?" he suggests. I nod my head in approval and give him a quick hug goodbye. 

I turn around and cross the street and head back inside seeing Grey in the same position I had left her in, uninterested with the world around her and scrolling through her phone. "I'm back!" I say alerting her to my presence so she doesn't think I'm just another customer. 

"Oh hey" she says looking up from her phone briefly, "How did it go?". I go to respond but she stops me before I can even continue, "The short version Luna" she says aware of my tendency to ramble. "Alright the short version, let me just put my stuff away" I say making my way to the back room.

"Whose jacket is that?" she asks but clearly knows the answer. "Oh shit! It's Jimin's, he let me borrow it on our way back since it's pretty cold out there. Do you think he's still out there?" I question rushing towards the front door before I can hear her answer. 

I look around up and down the street trying to see if I can spot him but unfortunately it looks like he's left already. I walk back into the store defeated but knowing that he'll probably just use this as another excuse to come see me again, which I can't help but smile at. 

"I guess I'll just text him in the morning" I say shrugging my shoulders putting it back in my locker and putting on some perfume. "Why did you take it off?" she questions raising an eyebrow at me. "Well I'm hanging out with Jungkook tonight and you know how he gets when other guys are around me" is say feeling a bit conflicted. 

"That's true. He would probably give you his hoodie and hug you until the other guy's sent is gone" she says laughing at Jungkook's clingy side. "Exactly so I don't want to give him something to pout about. Plus the possibility of another guy in my life is not something I would like to discuss tonight" I finish. "Sounds like a good idea" she says and asks me again to tell her what happened between Yeonjun and I.

I give her the short version like she had asked for and I am a bit confused at her reaction or lack there of. "Hey! Why are you acting like that? I thought you would be teasing me and telling me how stupid I was or something like that" I pout clearly not satisfied while her stoic attitude. 

"Oh sorry I was just expecting it to go horribly so I'm just surprised that's all. I'm happy for you, it sounds like you had fun" she says and goes back to her phone. "Why did you think it was gonna be bad?" I question even more confused. 

"Well he was just giving off kinda weird vibes from the beginning but I'm glad we just misjudged him. He sounds like a nice guy. Now can we change the subject? Or better yet why don't you go restock the fridge" she says and then turns around to refill the items behind the counter even though they're fully stocked for the most part. 

Confused by her sudden change I decide to just go and do as she had suggested and head back into the big fridge and after restocking everything in there I start to go up and down the aisles cleaning up the shelves and making sure everything looks perfect. I check my phone and start counting down the minutes until Jungkook gets here, eager to escape from this sudden weirdness that has settled between Grey and I.

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[fantasticcloudcreation]

July 9 - Updates from Miami:

I wore my short work shorts today and they were comfy, fit perfect, not riding up which is great news haha. Also a loose crop tank top, I felt self-conscious the last time I wore it to work, but overall felt skinny and fit today :) No one commented on losing weight though which is reasonable bc I don't think it's noticeable to anyone but me lol. Also no one commented on my haircut but it was tied up in pigtail buns and a bandana today, honestly not sure how else to contain it during hot work days... It's funny that I wanted to cut my hair bc I was always wearing it in braids on work days but realistically it's too hot to leave it down most days and now idk how to put it up when it has all these layers... The next 2 gigs should have some cooler weather so I'll get to leave it down but for now it's kind of annoying haha. I guess I need to learn some new hairstyles.

Had a Celsius and 2 granola bars for breakfast, one propel pack, an entire subway veggie sub for lunch with sweet tea, yikes at the sugar content but it is what it is, and I ate almost the entire sub in like 10 minutes lol I was so hungry (didn't end up finishing it, but almost). Was planning on eating the sun chips that came with it during break but then we were on code red for like at least an hour so break was cancelled and I didn't feel like eating lol so I'll save them for tomorrow.

Nice to see my work friends, I won't be at the next gig with them so it's good to see them now :) Mostly chill day of work, a lot of walking, some lifting (big lights, awkward angles /down stairs, around seats, up onto the truss) but there were so many people on our team and we had to wait for the riggers to hang the truss first so it was a lot of sitting around. Felt like I didn't really do much today, there was a lot of waiting and a lot of people jumping on every task we were assigned, but I'll take an easy first day back. Sounds like we might have some long days ahead of us so that'll be fun haha.

Now I'm back at the hotel, R is still at work, I had a poke bowl last night that I'd been craving forever from my favorite place when I used to live here, it really hit the spot lol I ate all the veggies/tofu yesterday but had some rice left over so I saved it in the fridge, might eat that now and call that dinner 🙃 also 2 beers so far tonight. Will probably smoke a joint later and eat a bunch of snacks. 5 cigs so far today but who's counting!

Overall, good day! Feeling good, having fun, I love my life! I'm glad I came here and didn't back out when I wanted to :)

Other notes about my body bc I just want to share them lol:

- my wrists/hands are looking really skinny these days, I noticed while driving down here (hands on the steering wheel) all the little bones in my hands, wrists looking thin, yet very firm strong forearm muscles?

- my shoulders have been looking/feeling very bony lately which I enjoy but I had to carry a 50ft feeder cable today which isn't that heavy and should've been easy, but I have lil bruises on my shoulders from it... I made a joke about having a month off work and my shoulders got soft but fr lol like that shouldn't have caused a bruise and I even switched sides halfway and both sides have lil tender spots like it's bruising. Not sure if that's a muscle thing or an iron deficiency or just like toughen up and get used to it?

- my thighs are definitely thinner than 2 months ago however I would feel a lot better about them if I could lose like another 5-10 pounds over the next few months... At the same time, hipbones are starting to pop out too and unfortunately if they get too prominent they get really bruised when carrying things at work so its like a balance of, lose weight so my thighs look great vs lose weight and get bruises on my hipbones lol, who will win ? only time will tell....

[dumplingsjinson]

sooooo, i know i said i wasn't going to post anything personal, at least in regards to my dating life, on here but lo and behold! i'm a liar, but the person who found out about this account might never go onto my blog again (if you're here for some reason then hi? idk why you'd come back here but okay. i hope you're okay. and if you're not, i hope you will be okay. and also, this is NOT about the long distant guy that maybe one or two of you are familiar with). so, here goes: we broke off whatever it was that was going on. i don't like them back that way, and i don't see myself liking them back that way in the foreseeable future.

so we broke it off on good terms.

we're not going to talk anymore, and it definitely will take time getting used to since we did text back and forth everyday for the past two months, up until today. it will take time to get used to not seeing their name on my phone constantly, or waking up to their messages, but it'll eventually go back to how it used to be, when we never spoke before.

i admittedly do feel a little empty as of right now, which is a me issue entirely. maybe i'm dealing with the sadness of losing a connection i've made with someone? maybe i don't deserve to feel this sadness. i don't know. there was definitely a bit of a connection there, though ephemeral, even if it wasn't a romantic one. i think (i know) i'll be okay, and i really, really hope they'll be okay, too (because rejection doesn't feel good. it's never an easy pill to swallow, knowing you're not the one for that someone. it doesn't feel good to reject someone, either).

i think it'll be good for the both of us in the long run.

i'm still processing this whole thing, but i think it'll be okay soon. :) and i hope they find someone who will like them back, just as much, and if not, more, because they're someone who truly deserves that.

goodbyes aren't easy, and they hurt even when it comes to short-term bonds that were formed. that's all i can say.

(also that whole unmatch thing rant in which i've deleted by now is because i got my feelings hurt for like a day, and then i got over it really quick lmfao. i was talking to some other guy i matched with, and we vibed for a few days, and then he unmatched while we were setting up the date and that hurt translated into frustration and anger and a bruised ego, but i'm okay now, and to whoever said it was a bad break up or something - it wasn't lmao, i was just being a little wuss and had to vent. but i will die on the hill on how you're an asshole if you unmatch without any explanation, especially when you're in the middle of setting up a date. you're just bad at communication and it really, really shows. please work on that if that's what you do to other people, because it's never fun being on the receiving end of being basically ghosted.)

anyway, i'll try to post another prompt list tonight. these babies are pre-written, so my mood right now's not gonna affect them aha.

i will probably post more of my love life (read: online hoe life) again to the one person who bothers reading this shit, simply because nothing's stopping me, and i ALSO am NEVER going to be so dumb to accidentally give too many hints and reveal my tumblr like that to someone ever again lmfaooo. my mask stays ON, bitches!!

(and on an entirely different note that's not so fucking depressing and also very non-serious, i'm going on a date this sunday, and we're going to have oysters lmfao - i might end up calling him oyster dude - but i also don't have much expectations lmfao. they did ask me if we're still on for sunday just earlier today, and i said yes, but i'm prepped for getting unmatched outta no where because some of you men are Cowards. aNYWAY.)

this was a rollercoaster and a very undelightful mess, i'm tired, i have to wake up at 5:30 am tomorrow for work, two of my brackets came fucking loose so i have to go to the ortho on monday to get that fixed, and i lowkey wanna die because of that, goodBYEEE.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Caught In The Storm" *Part 10* (Epilogue)

Alright I'll be honest, I think the "Short ending" has to end where it did.

This epilogue is for the second ending, or the "True" Ending as I'd like to call it. I hope you all have enjoyed this as much as I did writing it!

Idk if I should admit this but I totally didn't mean for the story to line up with the song as much as it did, it just turned into a happy accident!

I'll be honest I think this MIGHT be my new favorite. I love all of my babies the same though. Mostly.

Please PLEASE let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list for any future writings/drabble!

And my requests are now REOPENED!

--------

A Year Later

It was your very first sold out concert in Madison Square Garden, the cheers were deafening. People lined the streets even from outside of the gates, just trying to get a glimpse of the show.

You looked out from behind the curtain, your hands were shaking. Actually your whole body was shaking, the nerves were overwhelming.

Suddenly, two warm arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you back into their body. You lifted your head to see your husband smiling back at you.

"You are going to rock the house, baby,"

"Rock the house?" You giggled. "Why don't you just say 'raise the roof' there, old man river?"

"Owww, below the belt there hermosa," He held his stomach as if you had just punched him.

"I'm sorry, I'm just--"

"Nervous, I got that," He cut you off.

"Do you think they'll love me, Raffi?" You whispered, looking into his eyes with anxiety.

"They ALREADY love you, carino. Do you know how much people paid for these tickets?" He chuckled.

"But none of them love you as much as I do," He added as he pulled you into a kiss.

"Eh, debatable," You smirked, thinking about Tumblr stans. He just rolled his eyes in response.

"Five minutes, Mrs. Barba," A crew member called to you, you nodded in response.

"What?" You asked, referring to his now huge grin.

"I'll never get tired of hearing that, Mrs. Barba," He pulled you into a bunch of tiny kisses.

"Alright MR. Barba," You ruffled his hair and nuzzled his neck. "I'll see you after,"

He kissed you again and made his way back into the venue to take his seat.

-------

It was about the end of the night, and you were ready for the closing song.

"Alright guys, I just wanna say THANK YOU to all of you who came out tonight, you've made this one of the happiest nights of my life!" You grinned, getting screaming and cheering in response.

"I'm gonna leave you guys with the song that started it all, the song YOU GUYS made #1 around THE WORLD!!" You grinned, hardly believing you could say those words out loud.

"And," You walked over to the side of the stage you knew your family was sitting. "I'd like to dedicate it to my amazing family-- especially my husband, Mr. Rafael Barba,"

You bit your lip with a smile as you looked into his eyes. He still made you blush like a little school girl, he probably always would.

Cheers erupted as the music started, people holding "BARBA 4EVER!!" and "RAFA <3 Y/N!" signs waved them wildly.

You waved and smiled as you began to sing:

You can push me away

I can take it

I can make you a promise

and break it

We know the way it goes by now

You thought about how many times Rafael had pushed you away, how long it took you to get where you were.

Running off just to see

if I chase you

I pretend I know how

to replace you

still we get tangled up somehow

How long it felt like you chased him, how many times you tried to move on from him, it never worked.

Hear it thunder

and I wonder

How long can I hang on

I'm caught in the storm

I'm caught in the rain

I'm caught in the rush

that hides this pain

I'm ready to drown

but it's coming down

but I feel so alive

Did you sing this song to him almost two years ago, knowing this would happen?

Just let me go

Just walk away

If you love someone

you never let them stay

caught in the storm

Rafael watched you singing on stage, thinking about the first time you sang this song to him. Well, to all of the squad. The whole time he was actually thinking how beautiful you had looked on that stage, how you belonged up there. How you were born for the stage. Pretty much the exact same thing he was feeling right now, except now you were his.

As the bars on the Bowery are closing

you arrive at the door standing frozen

you say you thought you'd find me here

He thought back to how he had seen you in that bar with Nathan, how he should have just stomped in there and punched him in the face. But he didn’t, and it had just kicked you both further down the road to lead you here.

Tell me how I begin

to forget you

when you keep coming back

and I let you

Love me until you disappear

He thought about the million times he had tried to pull you from his mind, from his heart. He thought about the lists you made of reasons that you shouldn’t be together, and how in the end none of it mattered.

I'm caught in the storm

I'm caught in the rain

I'm caught in the rush

that hides this pain

I'm ready to drown

but it's coming down

but I feel so alive

Just let me go

Just walk away

You both looked at each other as you sang, knowing the storm you both had gone through to get to this moment. Happy and together-- forever.

If you love someone

you never let them stay

caught in the storm

You thought back to your wedding day, when it had been appropriately raining; the day Rafael had come and finally proved his love to not only you, but literally the world.

Let me wash away

you can find me after the flood

let me wash away

The “flood” that followed had been a media frenzy, your wedding had been broadcast around the world, after all. Debates spread over whether or not you were a heartless bitch for dumping Nathan on a livestream, or if it was crazy romantic the way your true love came in and swept you off your feet like a movie.

caught in the storm

caught in the rain

caught in the rush

that hides this pain

You looked at your family who were also taking up the front row; they were beaming at you. You thought back to this exact moment almost two years ago, when you were in that tiny club on that little stage, with just Kelsey on the piano.

And with the last line, you looked into your husband’s eyes. You both were thinking the same thing; this line, these words are what started it all. And they rang truer than the day you had first sung them to him, because you had both stayed in the storm, and came out the other side.

If you love someone

you find a way to stay

caught in the storm

[ethan-bears]

Home for Christmas (Nolan Patrick x Reader)

You've resigned yourself to spending this Christmas alone. But Nolan has other plans.

Author's note: I started writing this out as a thought to send to @lindylovegang for her soft thought night tonight but I realized it needed to be a small book whole fic instead, so I decided to do this instead of editing my final paper. This is also not edited. I might edit it later. Who knows.

Warnings: light swearing, holidays, slight angst but it gets fluffy real quick, it's my first fic so it's probably not great, I'm on mobile and I can't figure out "keep reading" and I'm very sorry

Word count: absolutely no idea but good luck fam

gif credit to: bretthowden

*****

This was not how you wanted to spend your first Christmas in Philadelphia. Ideally, you wouldn't even be in Philly at all right now. You should be on a plane back home to your family and friends and the warm, familiar streets of your hometown. You should be waking up tomorrow morning in your grandma's house with the smell of warm bread surrounding you like a hug.

But no. You were trapped.

The blizzard had started to roll in earlier this morning, and you thought to yourself that it wouldn't be that bad, right? It was just some flurries. They wouldn't ground any flights, right?

Oh how wrong you wound up being.

After three hours of waiting for news in the airport terminal, followed by another hour and a half desperately trying to reschedule your flight to a time that would still work and getting nothing out of every airline representative in the building, you somehow managed to get an Uber driver crazy enough to come get you in the ocean of snow. Fighting back tears, you tried to console yourself in the backseat. At least your apartment would be warm. And you had a little tree, so it would still feel like Christmas. You'd make some soup and Skype your family, and while it wouldn't be the same as being with them, it would be better than nothing!

"Reckless optimist," you sighed as you flipped the light switch to your apartment only to be met with continued darkness. Alone in a dark, cold, apartment on Christmas Eve, snowed in with nowhere to go in a city that came nowhere close to feeling like home. Merry Christmas. Slumping against the door, you felt your hot tears break free and cascade down your face. You decided to let all the stress and frustration that had been building all day take over your body, sobbing harder than you could ever remember. Each new wave shook your body, sending you to the floor. You didn't care. It couldn't get worse, so why not act like it?

During a pause in the festivities you decided to check your phone to see if you had any messages from your dad, only to find a text you definitely didn't expect from someone who was definitely not your father.

Sir Nolan the Rosy-Faced: hey, just checking in, i know you're probably mid flight rn but just wanted to make sure you land safely when you do. Crazy storm. Text me?

Sniffing, you paused to process the message. Nolan wanted to make sure you were safe? It shouldn't really have surprised you, but the fact that he was concerned enough to text you while he thought you were still midair was...touching.

You fired a short text back explaining that the flight wasn't happening, thinking he'd respond with a simple "okay" or an "oh, sorry to hear that :(". But the next text you got (mere seconds later) surprised you again.

Sir Nolan: oh my god that sucks! Wait.....does that mean you're home alone tonight?

Me: Yeah, and the power's out, so it's suuuper cold, but idk it's fine, I'll just layer up and go to bed early I guess

Sir Nolan: are you okay?

That one hit you like a truck. No, you thought, I'm really, really not.

Me: Yeah, I'll be fine

Sir Nolan: are you sure? Cause I can come over if you want.

Any other night, you would be losing your mind at an offer like that. Ever since you had met Nolan, you'd had the biggest crush on him. All other crushes seemed like weak sauce compared to how you felt about him. But you'd cried all your energy out. The best response your heart could muster was a meek, "Sure, but don't worry if the snow's just too much."

You were met with a resounding, "Already on my way."

You decided that if you were going to be having company you should at least get up off the floor. You shuffled your way into your bedroom, habitually flicking the light switch before you remembered it was pointless. You fumbled in the dark to your desk drawer, trying to find your flashlight, and once you found it you turned it on and started changing into your warmest pajamas. Now that you weren't just a puddle of self-pity, you started to think about Nolan's sudden inviting-over of himself. You first met him during training camp when your work friend brought you along to meet up with Travis, her boyfriend. She figured that since you were new to the city and also a huge hockey fan that it couldn't hurt to introduce you to some guys on the team and help you make some friends. You weren't sure what to make of Nolan at first. He seemed so quiet and awkward that you thought your own quietness and awkwardness would make conversation impossible with such a knockout of a man. You wound up being horribly wrong, once again, but that time it was in a good way. Neither of you were really the super-outgoing party type, so whenever one or both of you started getting exhausted with the atmosphere you'd usually drift off into your own conversation in a quieter part of the room. As a result, he became a good friend incredibly fast. It seemed there was nothing you couldn't talk about with him, even though you still got nervous about certain things. Like your personal feelings for him. But that had never come up before, so you were safe. For now.

You knew he knew all about how hard the transition to Philly has been for you. How homesick you get, how you can't help but wonder if you made a mistake taking the job offer that brought you here (even though it was your dream job), and how you felt like it was hard to click with so many new people. Which was probably why he seemed so worried about you being alone tonight. He knew you felt alone most of the time anyway.

An hour and a half had gone by and you were starting to get worried about him. He only lived 20 minutes away, and even with the snow, it shouldn't take him that long unless he was stuck and just too proud to call you. It had given you time to call your mom, which you were grateful for and made you feel a lot better, but you couldn't ignore the knot in your stomach anymore. You were just about to hit "call" when you heard a knock at the door. Or more like a thump at the door.

You practically sprinted over to open it for the man-sized popsicle with his arms full of grocery bags standing on your doorstep. You paused for a second with your mouth hanging open, both amazed by the fact that he actually came over and by...him. The cold made his already pink cheeks bright red, and the snowflakes were sticking to his long eyelashes and the free locks of hair that didn't fit under his beanie. You had never seen anything more beautiful in your life.

"Can...can I come in?" Nolan's teeth chattered, snapping you back to reality.

"Oh, yeah, sorry! God, Nol, you're shivering!" you remark, ushering him through the door. Not that inside was that much warmer, but anything was better than being out there.

"It's cold," he laughs.

"Wow, AND he's meteorologist!" you quip back. "What can Nolan Patrick not do?"

Shaking his head, he made a beeline for your kitchen, looking for a place to set his bags down.

"Took me forever to find a place that was still open tonight," he muttered, pulling what looked in the dark like to-go boxes out of one of the bags. You shined your flashlight up to the ceiling to make it light the whole room as Nolan continued to pull items from his three bags. You just stood there, still dumbfounded by him.

"Pat... what's all this?" you manage to squeak out.

"This," he said, pointing to the to-go tubs, "is soup. I'm not completely sure what kind, but I figured soup would be the best thing no matter what. I didn't know if you had any crackers, so I brought some saltines. And some oranges because I knew you'd want something fruity and healthy and oranges are festive. And this," he pulled a thermos out of the second bag, "is hot chocolate. Made it myself." He grinned, sliding it towards you, obviously proud of himself. You could barely contain your own grin, feeling yourself blush. You were proud of him too.

"I saved the best for last," he continued once you took a sip of the cocoa. You frowned.

"What else could you possibly have brought?" you asked, genuinely astonished.

He looked you in the eyes and gave you a smirk. Holy hell. You were glad he probably couldn't see how pink your own cheeks were getting. The things he did to you and he didn't even know.

He carefully pulled a basket out of the last bag, and you could see it was full of a bunch of other things. You couldn't believe it.

"Nolan..." You trailed off, feeling the tears starting to well up again. Inside the basket were a bunch of little gifts with a note that read "For: y/n, From: Us". It had some of your favorite candies, one of those cheesy home-state-scented candles, a scarf with your home team's name and logo on it, and a tin of your favorite tea from a tiny local tea shop in your home town. You tried your best to fight the tears, but you weren't strong enough, rendered useless from your earlier fit.

"Nol-" You couldn't even finish your question before your own sob choked you. You set your thermos and flashlight down to bury your face in your hands.

"Hey, hey," Nolan whispered, pulling you into a hug. You wasted no time in hugging him back, squeezing him as you sobbed into his chest. "Shhhh, it's okay," he muttered to the top of your head. He slowly ran a hand up and down your back, rocking you back and forth. It only made you more emotional. He had never hugged you before, and you hadn't been hugged like this in what felt like years. You just wanted to stay there in his arms forever and ignore the world around you.

"It was a team effort," he continued. "Some of us thought you could use some things that remind you of home."

"Who...who found the tea?" you said into his chest, muffled by his sweater.

"What?" He smiled, pulling out of the hug a bit to let you speak up.

You wiped your face and took a breath. "Who found the tea?"

He pulled the rest of the way out of the hug, much to your disappointment. He leaned his head down, staring at the floor.

"That was me," he mumbled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. "I remembered you mentioning it, and it was hard to work out, but they agreed to send me some." Somehow, his voice kept getting lower and lower.

You could hardly believe your ears. He remembered that? You swore you had only mentioned it once in passing after you got a really disappointing chai from a coffee place down the street. You had no idea he had been paying attention. And he went to all the trouble of getting a store with a locals-only business model to ship a product long-distance. You started to wonder if.... No, you thought, don't get your hopes up again tonight.

You stared at him for another moment, trying to soak in the situation. He seemed surprised when you went back in for another hug.

"Thank you so much!" you whisper, knowing that if you said it any louder you'd start crying again. You could feel him relax into the hug and gave him a little squeeze before you ended it.

"Soup time?"

"Soup time." Nolan nodded, practically beaming.

You sat on the couch, eating as carefully as you could in the dark, though your eyes were getting pretty adjusted. From then on, it was conversation as usual. It came so naturally with him that even when you weren't saying anything, you were still happy. You exchanged stories about your favorite Christmases, what you thought the best cookies are, and weird things your families do during the holidays for hours, barely even noticing the time or the cold.  At some point Nolan had pulled the blankets off the back of the couch and tossed them over both your laps. You didn't notice that you'd been getting closer and closer to him with every story until you laughed so hard you fell on his shoulder.

"Stop laughing!" He pouted, audibly trying to stifle his own laugh. "I almost got hypothermia. I could've died!"

"I can't...I can't!" you breathe between laughs. "You fell through the ice...but just one leg?!"

"Yeah, and I was stuck there on my side almost doing the splits between the ice and the water and my sister just stood there laughing. Just like you!" He nudged you, pretending to be annoyed. "But eventually she pulled me out and carried me back home. Couldn't move my leg for hours, it was just sticking straight out like..." He stuck his leg in the air, demonstrating, and only making you laugh harder. You could hardly breathe. You knew it probably felt funnier because of how exhausted you were, but you didn't care. Nolan had put a smile back on your face and back in your heart.

"Hey, Nolan?"

"Yeah?"

You swallowed. "I just... I'm not complaining that you're here, obviously, but... weren't you planning on spending tonight with Kevin and his family?"

"I was, but they've got each other, and someone else who's super special to me was sad and alone, which made me really sad to think about. You deserve to be happy and I wanted to help. Easiest decision I've ever made."

You really did not have it in you for another cry, so you settled for teasing him instead.

"That's really cheesy of you, softie."

"Take it while you can," he laughed.

"I know," you smiled.

Your eyes were starting to feel heavy and you let out a jaw-cracking yawn.

"Damn," Nolan remarked. You grunted in response, earning another laugh from him. "Wanna lay down?"

You nodded, leaning into his shoulder.

"You're warm," you sleepily drawl. You wanted to lay down, but you didn't want to get up to go to your bed. You wanted more snuggles, and right now you didn't care if he read into it or not.

He seemed to get the message, moving to lay down and taking you with him. He wrapped his arms around you after making sure the blankets covered you both as much as possible. You smiled contentedly, settling into your position and closing your eyes. You barely had time to contemplate how touchy he was being tonight compared to his normal reservations about hugs and touching before you were completely gone.

*****

Nolan woke up first the next morning. He was careful to move as little as possible to avoid waking you up. You looked so peaceful, curled up with your head on his chest. He felt his heart swell as you shifted to wrap your arms around his torso and fell back asleep within seconds. He smiled down at you, noticing how beautiful you were, even with your messy bedhead and your cheek squished against his chest. He wanted to stay in this moment forever. Just the two of you.

The power had come back on at some point during the night, so it was no longer freezing in the apartment, and the lights on your tiny tree had come on as well. He glanced back over to the kitchen to the basket on the counter. It had been embarrassing enough to admit to being the one who hunted down the tea like a police dog, so he left out the part about the whole gift basket being his idea in the first place. He would've bought you everything himself, but he wanted you to know that you had other friends, too, and that they wanted to show you that they were thinking of you. The scarf was Carter's idea, the candy TK's. Claude had suggested the candle, and being the local expert on how to be good to the woman he loved, Nolan took the advice and bought the candle as well. It did make him strangely jealous of your hometown in a way he couldn't quite explain. He was worried that you would be looking for any excuse to move back home, which he really didn't want. If it made you happy, then of course he'd support you, but he'd never felt for anyone the way he felt about you. The way you laugh, how passionate you get when you talk about something you care about, whether that's a person, a subject, a place, or what the best pizza topping is. He loved everything down to the way you word your sentences. He loved how much you loved.

He was awoken from his thoughts by you stirring and opening your eyes to look at him.

"Merry Christmas," you mumbled.

"Merry Christmas," he mumbled back.

You laid your head back down, enjoying the comforting rise and fall of his chest.

"You hungry? I can try and make you some breakfast. Emphasis on try," Nolan offered.

You laughed at the thought. "That'd be nice. But I don't wanna get up."

"Me neither," he sighed, tracing his thumb along your arm. He was not ready for when you suddenly shot off the couch, eyes manic and wide.

"Oh my god!" you shouted. "I didn't get you anything for Christmas! And you did all that last night!" You waved your hand at the kitchen. Nolan sat up, confused and cold, missing the weight of you on him.

"It's okay, y/n! I wasn't expecting anything."

"No, okay, I'm making you breakfast, and it's gonna be the best damn breakfast I've ever made. Lay back down," you insisted, marching off to the kitchen, wincing at the still-cold floor.

As nice as it sounded to stay under the warm blankets, Nolan didn't want to just sit there doing nothing. Suddenly he had an idea, even though it was a risky one. He decided it was a risk he needed to take eventually.

"Get out!" you playfully threatened, brandishing a spatula at him as he stepped into the kitchen. He put his hands up in mock surrender.

"I won't touch!"

"Good," you smirk, turning back to your pan.

Nolan shuffled around nervously, working up the courage to say what he wanted to. He swallowed and took a deep breath.

"I, uh...I have an idea for what you can give me. If you, uh, still want to give me something. Besides breakfast, I mean." Smooth, Patrick, he thought.

"What's that?" You met his gaze, making his stomach flip. The things you do to him and you have no idea.

"Maybe we can go out sometime? Like, just us. On purpose. To dinner or something?"

You looked like a deer caught in the headlights, making Nolan immediately second-guess himself. He bashfully broke your eye contact, focusing on the floor again. He felt the blush on his cheeks worsening.

"Are you... serious?" you ask, voice full of wonder.

"Of course I am!" he mumbled insistently. "Wouldn't ask if I wasn't."

You almost knocked him over with the force of your hug, a truly impressive feat.

"Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes!!!" you laughed, not even bothering to play it cool. Nolan smiled so much it started to hurt, but he didn't care. He felt like he could take off and fly, he was so relieved. The weight of the world was replaced by the weight of you clinging to his shoulders. And he couldn't imagine a better way to spend his Christmas. Maybe, just maybe, he thought, Christmas would be like this forever from now on.

*****

You relaxed into Nolan's arms as he followed you back to the stove, hugging you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. Suddenly, you felt something more than the giddy high of getting asked out by your crush. You felt a sort of peace you hadn't felt since before you moved.

You were home for Christmas.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

"I'm real proud of you, You know. We didn't know who they were but we could have been real hurt," little Tiny Queen Girl just almost 4 years old, hands on hips just telling me how it was. How she felt.

My Little co-member in our Army of Two.

Lord Blesses us with the moat precious for such a short amount of time.

This idiot shot her and when he realized he had shot a small child and she was in the hospital on life support, he went and kidnapped her from the hospital.

Finished killing her and hid her body in a freezer at his house.

It wasn't for years later that he thought the coast was clear and he placed her body partially in a trash bag next to a dumpster in that Compton neighborhood.

He didn't want the body to not be found. He wanted it to so his message was clear -- "No ni**ers in his neighborhood"

She was labeled only as missing by the family, at least to me anyway. They didn't want me to get crazy and go on a killing spree. Her brother joked that was what little 3 year old Laquisha Antuana Jefferson would want.

After the Rodney King Trial, I took racism hard. I took it differently. No longer could I be on top of it and stop it.

It was here to stay and there was no changing it. I was glad I lived in a mostly white suburb because I felt i could talk to the few African Americans at my school and make sure they were doing okay, individually and not have to worry so much like i did in NYC.

There were less. So less could get hurt and i closed my mind off to the rest of the world.

7 weeks before i was called to Compton they found Laquisha Antuana Jefferson by that dumpster behind the 711 Chevron.

My mom thought it would be good because she was shot just 6 blocks from the race track.

Maybe I could do something.

I bought him a house in a white suburb. I got him transferred to a predominantly white neighborhood and made him promise his entire family and anyone he associated with would never kill or go near a black person again.

He just had to pay bills in a Beverly Hills home.

If he broke the rules he would be killed but i didn't tell him that. I just told him he would move out and it would be grave.

The house is still in my name and he never did break the rules.

But he hadn't killed just Laquisha Antuana Jefferson, he had killed over 700 others.

This i didn't know or understand or I would have had him killed.

He was black so I couldn't understand how he would say African American children were niggering up the neighborhood or "bone thugging the street" part of me didn't believe he killed Laquisha Antuana Jefferson but the whole of me couldn't deny he was capable.

Her whole death was horrific and hard to believe. Who would do such a thing and to such a precious child?! I loved her with my whole being, everyone did. There wasn't anyone i loved or respected more than that child.

I had a nervous break down for three weeks. I visited all the places she had been and I cried the whole time. I was miserable.

Queen Elizabeth II had to come fetch me and get me awake, see there was more life to live and Laquisha Antuana Jefferson wouldn't want me so upset and she believed what happened although I couldn't wrap my head around it, She could.

So she bugged his house and set speakers in it and we tortured him. Part of me thought it was wrong but it made me feel so much better, healed even and brought me joy.

Could you imagine Queen Elizabeth II egging and toilet papering a house!!?? Well we both sat in the car while Prince Harry and William and Princess Diana did it

I owned it and still do so it was alright with me.

Princess Diana painted a red bloody swastika on the door and Prince Andrew hung a white paper mache man made from reprinted newspaper clippings of the people he had killed from his garage.

It gave me a sense of pride. I knew that my little Royal Army did just what my co-conspirator in our Army of Two would had wanted. It was perfect retribution for Little Queen Laquisha Antuana Jefferson. The reincarnated Queen Nefertiti.

As Princess Diana returned to the limo, laughing, I said "thank you, I have never been more blessed than I am just right at this moment. I don't even want to leave. I want to sit and stare all night"

About an hour later, a patrol car with its lights on came up behind us and rapped his knuckles on the window. "Oh you're all white good. Does anyone know what happened here tonight or were you all just driving by?"

"Well see Its just..." Oh in the pit of my stomach I felt bad.

"Oh Sabrina you're all here. Good."

"Well see me and my friends were just driving past, I wanted to show the Queen the luxury of Beverly Hills and the good neighborhoods here and well we saw all this and thought we might want to stay and catch the vandals in the act in case they came back" I hung out the window and looked around "nope all good"

Princess Diana took to a snort of laughter midway through my speech and tried to cover it with a fake sneeze. Then a cough and a mere sound of strangling herself.

"Hey miss! Are you alright?!"

"Oh that's Princess Di"

"Too much champagne it went down the wrong way÷"

"Yeah I gotta laugh at her, sometimes she's much too silly"

"Well take a look at my house! That's serious enough for you!"

"Oh God! William help me! This is much to much!" And she leaped forward and buried her head in his chest so she could laugh freely.

"Oh is she crying?!"

"Oh she will be fine" I was relaxed and drunk myself and wow how easy i found it to lie! We could get away with anything! Even murder! Nope! I told myself we must'nt lie. I just got too carried away and didn't speak soundly enough. I said all I was supposed to but much too much so it was actually a lie! But I must'nt have to be tooo careful, After all I did just buy him a house didn't I? Even so that wasn't the right way to be and I felt surrendered to guilt.

"Well I say, I say do y'all want to come in?! I've said it three times but yet no one is to answer!"

"Oh yes. Please move. Lets show off this mini mansion bought just for you" I opened the door and Queen Elizabeth II slid out quickly behind me

"Oh it feels so good to get out and stretch! I haven't gotten out since well id gotten in it!"

I snorted drunk laughter "Oh yes we have been truly blessed to be in this limo"

"So shall we?" He offered the crook of his arm for my hand to take which I did "I don't want y'all stumbling all over, you ole drunk things!" The queen had rejected his arm and allowed Princess Diana to take it. And i felt suddenly less callous. I felt sober and somber. Walking up to the house we just destroyed wasn't the problem. It was his ability to take over the situation with peasantry and take two drunken women into his home. The "goblin" hung from his garage blowing in the wind, saying all that he was accused of. In the dark, suddenly I imagined myself as a black woman. I thought that soon i would be inside and i could puke and wash my face and still take a shit if i needed to. My nervous tummy did that.

"Here you two stand here and hold yourself up if you need to. I'll be right back. No no I meant each other. I wouldn't take my face off him but i peeked a glance at Princess Diana and she was pleasantly smiling as ever. Still having fun. Queen was patiently pleased as well. The boys seemed fine looking around at all the had done. "You know i didn't kill that kid. You know that right?"

"What?!?! What the Hell did you say?!?"

Princess Diana grabbed me and put her arm around me and put her finger to her lips and Queen Elizabeth II put on her black leather gloves

"Oh i suppose you didn't hear me, i said "let me get my key out" it will be just a moment" he bent at the waist "oh it seems someone put gum in the lock. Let me go out back and hopefully i can get in"

I watched him and heard the back gate click "did he say about the key twice?!" Princess Diana nodded solemnly. "He didn't say anything about killing a precious black kid?"

"NO!! SHH!"

"Hey you know i been praying to Jesus a lot ever since i put that girl out" the lights for the front porch turned off. I let out a giant terrified scream!! Princess Diana slapped her cupped hand over my mouth instantly. I nodded and breathed in. She removed her hand and wiped my germs away. On his wall. -.- good DNA to prove ive been here in case they aren't seeing the truth. Not that anyone would check that place though for sure.. Maybe i ought to pee in the bushes?? Thank God Shaquille O'Neal stayed in the car. Maybe i could light this house on fire and send him smoke signals before he gets stabbed in the neck!

The door suddenly swung open "WELCOME TO MY HOME!" he spread his arms and stood back. Like a Royal Butler "i will even bow!" And he did so. "I'm not drunk. Not yet. But I did take a couple swigs of this, to catch up you want?"

"No thanks I'll pass" princess Diana put her palm out

He pleaded

"No I've got the boys and mom's already drunk and so someone has to be able to watch them. She will drink tho. She's a real drunkard especially with guests. She swishes it between her teeth, says it gets her drunk faster" wow we were all gonna die. But hopefully we wasn't gonna feel it. "Sabrina i feel you and i hoped you weren't right, but it's all here. The writing is on The wall. This is a beautiful home."

He was towering over me "this is the nigger you want" and i was fuckonf terrified. He was staring into my eyes with possessive lust and i looked back in terror. I was trapped between the fireplace and him

"Uhm sir?" He tuned to her and slipped his flask into his pocket. Idk why but Princess Diana and I both saw Freddie Kruger instead of a police man in uniform. She stifled her scream better than i did. I played the fireplace scraped me. And i was told to sit and i did.

"Excuse me, i have to take this" Queen Elizabeth II had brought in her satellite phone and she went to the far end near the bottom of the stairs to talk to Shaq.

"Is it Snoop?"

"Oh no. The man in the car. Much better than smoke signals!!" I squeaked

"Oh are you hurt? Let me see that for a second"

"Oh uh sure" I let him lift my leg into his lap but kept it straight so it would not go to his crotch and put my hand between my kegs to hold my short party skirt down to protect my vagina.

"Oh a prude are ya?"I wondered if he said that out loud. NO one seemed to notice I felt alone and I felt scared. I wondered if he left a gaping hole in Laquisha Antuana Jefferson. I hoped she was dead when he did or at least the fear killed her... If she had any. I hoped she did for her sake

"Oh don't look sad! You'll be alright"

"Yeah because I'm old..." My eyes drifted to the Queen, "and big enough" i would take one for the team but i was gonna fight first. If i had to. Just keep my eyes open and my ears ---

"All i can tell you is that she is seeing truth and all is alright." She looked up at me "or was. I must go. Please stand by"

"Was that Snoop?"

Oh dear God i wish she would quit saying that. We were all gonna die. He grabbed my chin and stuck his tounge in with a French kiss. Okay let's die first. Much better on that.

"Uh yes. Was it Snoop?" I removed my leg and put my knees together and pulled my skirt to cover them both.

He reached down, grabbed my ankle and pulled up my leg again

"Oh you're so gentle!"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you she has a fiancee" warned the Queen then she turned to check on the boys.

"Oh is he white?" He asked twice. In our culture we didn't speak of race so we all remained silent to his quest.

He turned to me "oh just one more" I pulled back

"Ouch! This thing is poking me!" I lied. I was scared. In my ways of life i didn't reject people. I distract. I dont like to be put in those situations. And the Queen had my back. We just needed to leave. "Queen please this house is attack-- guh ugh" somehow puke was on my breath although I hadn't yet, his tounge must had gotten my gag reflex as he kissed me rudely

"Ugh" I cursed him and had disgust in my face. "Im not into snoop. He's married and i am almost" he had fingered me during his kiss it seems or he was imagining it i wasnt sure but i seemed unaltered between my legs but the next kiss brought promises. I put my foot down and slid over.

"Snoop is? To who?"

"Shaquille!! I mean Shawntee!! You met her she came to this house with us!"

"What oh. Oh. Yeah get off. I guess i was jealous i thought you were fucking him. So who are you about to be married to, huh?"

I just kept seeing dead bodies and my heart was going to kill me. Inside i was screaming loudly we got to get out. It was as urgent as i had set a smoke signal. In my mind I saw the limo and I beat on the glass next to Shaquille's head. Maybe that would do the trick. I was sitting on the fire place after all. I saw a satellite view of the limo driver door opening and I resurrected back into Hell.

"Huh? What did you say?" I asked drowsily.

"Ah man! Y'all are drunk!! I gotta catch up! Now wait where is my flask?"

I saw in my mind Queen come to me and say "oh no she has a heart condition and touch my chest to gain a proper rhythm. I was dying and she knew.

That's what I get for pretending to be a drunk black woman alone in his home with him. I bent forward and breathed rapidly. Sweat dripping off me.

"Oh no Sabrina is coming down we must take her home"

"Here drink its bourbon" I did and felt hourly sick.

"Its sweet huh?"

The phone rang again "What is going on?!?! I got Sabrina beating on my glass and you two are all stand by?!?! Are you two in trouble?!?"

"Yes she is dearie. Every thing is fine. I'll see you... Next week? That all sounds fine"

"What is that nigger doing to you!?! I'll kill him! I've rang the phone twice already now!!"

"Oh yes. Please. The first. That sounds lovely. Soon. Soon. Yes i tell you the week will pass before you know it"

"Now? You want me to come now?"

"Absolutely! Of course!" She said angrily.

"Mom! You're drunk!!" Scolded Princess Diana. And nodded towards him

"Oh yes Please dearie you know just how it is --"

"Im coming now. Keep on talking. I'm killing this nigger!"

"Me first!" I rose the flask. "Oh here. I can't drink this shit"

"Oh yeah mixing liquor that may not be good. Who is she talking to? What y'all gonna have tea or something? Can i come?"

"Hey have you ever been to a hospital to see a little girl?"

His eyes looked at me in alarm

"About 6 weeks ago? She dead."

The doorbell rang while he looked at me in horror when i said the time frame. The bell rang again and he got up.

"And did you place her body into a trash bag?" I slurred.

"Shaquille! The greatest basketball player of all time! What you doing driving a limo?!"

"Oh you know. A favor to the Queen! Come on girls! Lets go! I got basketball tomorrow and i can't be out this late I still got to drive you all home then go to Vegas"

"No snoop I dont need no help i got this." I waved my arms drastically in the air and did not move my ass

"Come on girls Lets move!"

"Shaquille just pick her up, she's being a slut. Don't worry he's married too. To my -- mom! What in the hell get off the phone!! Come on let's go!"

"Shouldn't we call 911 to report this"

"Ah. No I am a cop and I don't mind as long as it was white people and I know it was because of the swastika"

"How many people have you killed with a plastic bag"

"Come on shh what is with you?"

"You're my legs! Lets move forth!" I announced then whispered "let's get away from this murderous uhhhh town" i got scared and kissed Shaquille

"Don't kiss me! What's going on with you?!?"

"Idk you!!" Was my reply.

"See? Slut" was Princess Diana's smooth comment as she passed. "Come along boys" she said beautifully

"Oh yeah and she fell -- by my fireplace isn't it exquisite?'"

"Oh yeah. You were being raped and all you could do was sit there? What's going on wit' you?!?!"

"Don't forget you belong in jail for killing that little girl!!" I accused and pointed as the door closed quietly. "He's drunk too he don't know. Come on Shaggy! To the Mystery va -- uh limo!"

"Who the hell is shaggy?! Which one of us?!"

"You Shaquille -- shaggy and he always has to carry scoobs the dog"

Princess Diana burst out laughing. "This is a conversation I expect to have with one of the boys! Not the two of you!"

"Well you get to carry the Royal Slut! Can you imagine the words that would be spoken at the police station tomorrow?!?!"

"Who gives a shit? Hes a piece of shit" stomped the Queen

"Well,from what he said to us. No one is gonna believe him anyway. He sounds like a complete doofus and a near rapist. Oh Sabrina that was brave asking those questions!"

"Oh I figured we would die anyway" i took off running to the car.

"What was with that shirt anyway? Didn't he really look like Freddie Kruger?"

"Was he really wearing that!?! I thought I was going crazy and your mom's black gloves didn't help at all i thought for sure we would all die!!"

"And you for real kissed me don't ever do that again. You know who I'm with"

"I panicked all I saw were lips and a face this close to mine and I thought it was him and I was scared too death!! I thought give in, it would go easier on me!! Its not my fault you're wearing a red shirt!! All I saw were lips!! But thank you for not kissing me back!! That was real gentlemanly of you like! And I can see why he just kept kissing me. I think he kisses allot of dead bodies as a matter of fact and he didn't even notice I wasn't responding. Like that woman that was strangled and had ligature marks all pink and he said. He said. Now you're all white and pretty like your vagina"

"Now You listen to me -- you get in this car this instant! He is standing in the drive way looking at you and me. In!" The queen just shoved me in the limo as i climbed blindly in and Princess Diana dragged me in the rest so the Queen could get in.

"Mom!!"

"Oh so nice to meet you!! Thanks again dearie!! Yoo hoo bye to you!!"

The Queen Elizabeth II relaxed as we got onto the freeway and further away from Beverly Hills. She rolled down the partition "to the ghetto, please sir" Shaquille stepped on the gas harder. "Then we will all feel a little bit better. Get away from this trashy ass place!"

We all looked at her like wtf

"I know! The irony of it!"

And we laughed joyously.

"Y'all were in there 45 full minutes now what did you find!?"

Velma? Queen Elizabeth II

Daphne? Princess Di

Freddy? Well half was Harry and the other Willaim since after all, they were just half pints in 1993.

Laquisha Antuana Jefferson died far too young.

3 days later i had a heart attack and a stint was placed in my chest which later failed in 1997.

I can't handle racism. I can't handle the pain and suffering of innocent people.

I'm not like all the rest of you. I talk to the dead. And sometimes I'd rather be there than anywhere.

My days are long and hard. And sometimes I don't want to live any more.

I'm tired of loving and I'm tired of caring and not receiving anything proper in return.

So for someone like me, just a white girl in a wheel chair. Black Lives Matter marches and people being out and saying it and being seen supporting it.

For little Queens like Laquisha Antuana Jefferson, they were everything. She was out in 1991, she would escape and run down the street sometimes naked in her little wooden sandals with white leather straps.

"Girl! You need a shirt!"

"´hey i know you! You're my Army of Two! I didn't have time to get dressed. I knew the door was opening and. I had to escape! They keep me locked in you know but i can't miss this! Im all about Black Pride and Beauty!"

"Well let's cover some of that up, Miss Queen Nefertiti, you want a pink shirt or black?"

"Oh no!! There he is!! Hide me!!" This tiny child grabbed a shirt off the table, slipped it over her head and dove under the table in front of my legs. "Is he coming?"

He was going straight... So i called him over "miss queen Nefertiti just ran off on me like she own me. Like i don't have my own friends"

"Well what are you doing?"

"Well looking for her now?"

"No i mean what are you supposed to be doing besides looking for her?"

"Oh just meeting my friends to go on the prowl. See?" He lifted his shirt and showed his Panther Pride most people hid in case of cops or white supremacist "i got one, too. He tapped the table

"I got one, too!" She piped up. She knew not to run and hide in the streets and had some hope if she had one she could attend like it was a licence to prooowl.

"Shh... Do you hear something? What's that scuffling? It sounds like her wooden shoes! Do you got her?!?"

I nodded quietly

"What?! Where?!?"

"So i mean if i see her do you think you or your parents i mean your ma would mind she sit here for a spell while you're out on the road?"

"Aw man! I want to prowl. Aw shit! I said it again!" Ahe grabbed my leg and held on tight

So i told him silently.

"I mean sure uhh if you don't mind!"

"Well i got two little boys over there having lunch. Thwyre on break but usually they are over in this chalk lined area."

"I want to prowl!! I want to go meow!" I could feel her jaw move against my calf.

"I can take them for a walk up and down the street"

"Okay that willl work!!" She jumped up excited. She saw her brother and tried to take off.

"Wait I'm gonna stop you!!"

"No way!" She zig zagged right behind me.

"You'll stay right there?" He rubbed his skull "uggggg you know what?! My friends can wait!"

"No! I'll stay! I'll stay! I swear I'm like her! We're an Army of Two!"

"Okay but you know what? Since you're no longer butt naked" he knelt down next to her

"I know! I got dressed fast!"

"She did and all goddess like i never seen someone so fast

"Really? Now what?" She put her hands on either side of his face

"Maybe ill take you for a walk instead. And let you meet my friends then bring you back Here where its safe. Then you can play with those two boys ew yuck icky and be a mascot? Hey? What do you say?"

"I think i will enjoy that. I will go with you." They both stood and she placed her tiny hand in his extra large one.

"Do you want a double layer?"

"No i think it will be safe. If I feel any danger I'll just pick her up and hold her close and hide her black panther. Okay? And you if you feel disgusted or moody or anger, you just come to me and tell me up! I don't want the white supremacy to see they might hurt us and that's not fair is it?"

She shook her head while looking at her toes and she looked up with sad eyes "okay you up?" He picked her up quickly

"Who?!!? Where?!?" He spun around wildly.

She laughed joyously "oh i just wanted a hug!! I didn't know you would protect me!! You are like her! An Army of One! Okay put me down! Lets prowl!!"

When they returned a short time later he looked disturbed "what? What's happening?"

"Turns out my friends are from the white supremacy! She would run around acting wild and when she would see a cop she would bolt back to me Then we would walk silently and she would be all calm then as soon as we passed she would bolt off again which was fine, that's what she do. But then once we got to my friend she didn't know him cause he was alone prowling and she ran to me all "up up" but do you think she knows instinctively that is who is taking m3 away from her at nights? And maybe she thinks they are trouble for me and her? Because we are reincarnated and I'm not her brother that is for sure! But do you think that is what it is? I sure hope so?"

"How about one night instead of prowling you just come over here and BBQ for me? You know it hurts me to stand and.."

"Nope I'm looking for the white supremacy because I have a feeling they're out to kill my Queen Nefertiti"

"Well the ones she is afraid of, have him or them play at the BBQ and then i can find out. I have a nose for it"

"But theyre black!! Is that even possible?!"

"Id have to call Miss Harriet Tubman for sure, But i think anything is likely."

"But can you see past his skin color? He is dark! Darker than me!"

"I don't see skin color I promise if it makes you feel better I can imagine him as white"

"Okay that will work. Come on Miss, lets go in"

3 out of 4 additionally including himself I could imagine as white. Which i could derive as only no racial prejudice between those.

The 4th was the only one she liked. Turns out he was most afraid of white people.

And none were like the man who killed her who was black and a white supremacist living in Compton when they went to go visit her grandmother.

Laquisha Antuana Jefferson

6 months after her body was found, he drowned himself in the Buttermilk Channel between Brooklyn and Governors Island. The Coast Guard attempted to resuscitate and even called me to see him to bring him back to life.

"Oh no. I know him. He wont come back." When everyone moved away from him, I knelt down next to him and prouncounced him dead in the language of the Egyptians. And i leaned over him in a hug and cried.

I kissed his lips, closed his eyes and placed two gold coins over them "in love may you always be. I am too sorry for you. You will be my friend" i picked up his left hand and placed it between his belly button and heart then picked up his right "always for me and for her always in love. I am too sorry for me. I will always cry" I gently folded his stiff cold fingers together. "And in silence you will bear the heart of a true man. May you always be beautiful, kind and unsuffering in her love. May you rest in peace. Ah man"

Laquisha Antuana Jefferson you were a wild one.

The world has suffered in your death. May you always be risen again. In true love and faith. May your heart always be bright and safe from us and all the world. I will love you again. Ah man.

Thank you for understanding why we have killed her killer tonight. June 8, 2020. It has been long awaited and her murderer has suffered plenty in his life in Beverly Hills.