#takes a deep breath and hits post and doesn't look back

[mushroompollution]

It's the dead of night when a roar of frustration echoes through the silent halls of the mansion, followed by a loud crash.

A tall man with blond hair and mismatched eyes pokes his head into the chambers of his master. "Is everything alright--?" He doesn't flinch as a teacup whizzes narrowly past his head to shatter against the wall behind him. Instead, he smiles.

The Narrator, head in hand, grits his teeth with a growl.

"So it's like that, then?" The blond spots a book lying haphazardly on the plush carpet, given a similar treatment to that teacup moments before. He saunters across the ornate room to recover the novel. "Another unsatisfying ending?"

The other man's hand clenches in his tidy hair. "There is no ending," he hisses.

"Oho~?" The blond muses as he flips through the pages. Sure enough, the printed words end with several hundred blank pages following. "Isn't this what we've been looking for, though? An unfinished Story?"

"It isn't just unfinished, it's abandoned," Finally, the Narrator takes his hand from his head as the taller man approaches his hunched master. He snatches the unfinished Story and rises from his desk in one swift movement. "It was published like this, seven years ago,"

"Published unfinished? It must be a very different Story, then--"

"It's completely different, in every way. The time period, the characters, the tone--"

"He lives, doesnt he?"

A hush falls on the bedroom. The Editor grips the book in his single hand. His eyes meet the taller man's, swirling violet galaxies full of stars boring into mismatched red and gold.

"There isn't a single mention of the Bloody Black Rabbit."

The blond man's smile curls into a smirk.

"Oho, I see. That's very different, indeed," he purrs.

"Something ended this story, but it wasn't written. Is this the Will of the Abyss? He lived!" The book is slammed down on his desk with a definite thud. "But we will never know the consequences of it. If it ends like all the others where I don't--" His voice cracks.

He's shaking, staring down at that book that will never be finished. The blond man approaches him, putting a hand on his shoulder only to be swatted away.

"We'll keep searching, master. This is good, this means anything is possible--"

A knock on the frame of the open doorway catches the attention of both men. They turn to see a young woman with long, pink hair standing half in half out of the bedroom. She's breathless, her rippled eyes as wide as her excited grin.

"master! I don't want to interrupt," she fidgits slightly with a book, a different book, in her hands. "but like, I think we found one--!"

The Narrator's eyes widen. "Do you mean...?"

The girl nods, presents the book. "it's a story that's just getting started."

[monamipencil]

— choking hazard | h.js

⋆ pairings; joshua x fem! reader ⋆ genre; smut, fluff, humor, friends to lovers (?) ⋆ w.c; 3.7k+ ⋆ warnings; intoxication (liquor), mention of walking in on chan, josh is lovingly annoying, big dick! josh, tipsy sex, oral (m. receiving), face-fucking, unprotected sex (she's on pills), reader can be picked up, rough sex, creampie ⋆ a/n; im thankful for @nonuify, @chwepen, @okiedokrie and @whipped-for-kpop-fics for collectively losing it with me while talking about big dick! josh. without them, this wouldn't have been posted lol. xoxo, enjoy <3

“i don't believe a single shit that you just spewed.”

you scoff at your close friend seated on the camping chair adjacent to yours.

“hey, i'm just saying the truth.” Joshua defends himself with a shrug. his smile looks almost angelic under the glistening cascades of moonlight and the dying campfire.

almost is the key word. because there's a glint of something else lurking underneath his dilated pupils. he takes a sip from the canned beer, and a few drops trickle down his chin. he wipes it off with his sleeve.

“your dick is a choking hazard? and a girl you slept with, told her friends that?”

“yep, that's right.” he hides his smirk behind the beer can. it seems that the liquor in your system is doing tricks on you as you watch his eyes dip down to the exposed skin of your collarbones.

you can’t help but laugh at his affirmation. your cheeks puff up, and your eyes crinkle as you do so. Joshua loves your laughter, and it makes him laugh as well. but he can only tongue his cheek now, watching you keel over with laughter. 

“i’m sorry, Josh. that’s the most out-of-pocket shit someone could say.” you take a breather and try to calm down. “how did we land on the topic of cock, again?” 

it’s almost midnight. most of your friends have fallen asleep or are in their tents, scrolling through their phones. which leaves you and Joshua outside, watching the fire trickle down to embers and drinking the last cans of beer till you both pass out. 

but somehow, the conversation has changed lanes to your friend’s diabolical cock size. 

“because you told me that you walked in on Chan jerking off and didn’t expect him to be ‘oh so huge!’” he mimics your voice, and you slap his shoulder while he laughs. 

“well, i still don’t believe you. so,” you blow a raspberry at him and turn away to look at the sky. you are barely tipsy but feel light-headed because of the long hike and how spent your body is. the last thing you want on your mind is Joshua’s cock. 

but it’s safe to say that you’re intrigued. 

“you don’t have to,” his voice echoes with a strum of his guitar. he must’ve picked it up again. but you don’t look at him. especially not with the way you’re all hot and bothered right now. 

“you just have to see it.” you choke on your saliva and make the mistake of turning your head. he has shifted closer to you, his hair tickles your cheeks, and you see his eyes trained on your lips. 

“calm down, player.” you huff and back off. but it’s you who needs to calm down. joshua appears very calm and collected with his sweet smile and shit. but you’re not buying any of that. 

“player?” his voice raises a pitch before he chuckles with a husky timbre. and his low voice sends shivers down your spine straight to your core. you tighten your thighs and wish that he doesn't notice it. 

“hey, it's not my fault people mistake my kindness for something more.”

“kindness? oh forgive me for not knowing that making out with every girl is an act of kindness.” 

“you sound like you’re jealous.” 

he whispers into your ear. and you notice his closeness only now. his knee presses into yours as he manspreads, and he leans into your frame. the smell of beer and his signature scent hits your nose, forcing you to take a deep breath of fresh air. 

in your moment of silence, Joshua confirms his answer. “so you are jealous.” 

you don’t answer and shift in your chair, trying not to cast your gaze on his thighs. or, more specifically, his cock. which you’re pretty sure would be visible against the tightness of his pants. 

“uhh, i’m going to hit the bed. you should too.” that’s all you offer while walking away as fast as possible.

the path to your cabin is short, and you sigh, feeling stupid. obviously, he’s just playing. you’d have a hard time listing the girls he has not kissed because of the lack of them. maybe dares don’t count, but it’s still a blasphemous amount. 

entering the cabin, you immediately take off your counselor shirt and toss it on your bed. you go through your bag, trying to find a sweatshirt you could wear.  

“woah, no bra?” 

you yelp in surprise and cover yourself with your hands. you don’t need to turn around to figure out who that is. 

“joshua, can you not fucking knock?!” 

“calm down, this is my cabin too.” 

your heart palpitates when he closes the door and walks towards his bed, which is adjacent to yours. you scramble to wear any piece of cloth you can find and lie down on your bed as soon as possible. 

you don’t hear a single sound from his side, so you turn in the bed to look at him. which adds to your fluster as you find him already looking at you. he doesn’t utter a word, continuing to look at you. you hold eye contact, mesmerized by the deep brown of his eyes. 

“what?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper. 

“just curious,” he shakes his head, eyes still gazing deep into yours. 

“about?” 

“how you’d look, trying to take my cock in.”

your mouth runs dry and you lick your lips, still not breaking eye contact. a fuzzy warm feeling pools in your stomach and your hard nipples graze against the material of your shirt. you sit up, done with this game of push and pull. 

he follows suit, watching you walk towards him. you offer him no words and kneel on the floor while looking up at him. joshua sucks in a sharp breath, trying to contain himself. his finger grazes against your cheekbones, softly pushing back stray hairs. 

he groans when you press your palm against his boner. he leans back, observing you with a lazy smile. you try not to vocalize your surprise when you confirm that Joshua is not lying. the sheer outline of his cock intimidates you. your nails dig into his thighs, and he snickers at you. 

“scared, honey?” his voice is saccharine, and he looks at you with such adoration. but you know, behind that sweet mask lies something better left undisturbed. 

and you’re treading on the very line that will disturb it. but it doesn’t scare you. it excites you. somehow, the thought of Joshua breaking his demeanor fills your veins with adrenaline. 

more excited than scared. the response lies on the tip of your tongue, and you want to say it. the little liquor in your system gives you a confidence boost. you hook your finger under the waistband of his briefs and pull it down with one smooth pull. 

his cock springs free, and you’re rendered speechless for a second. Joshua’s cock is long and girthy. his pretty pink tip oozes with pearls of precum, and he’s well-groomed. you never thought you’d describe a dick as pretty, but here you are.

you finally find the courage to wrap your hand around his length. you bite your lip, squeezing his cock that lays heavy on your hand. he shudders and sighs at your touch. you lean forward and lick the precum off his tip. 

“fuck,” he curses, carding his hand through his hair. he sounds so hot, and it makes you envy all the girls he’s slept with before. 

you’re still hesitant to wrap your lips around his cock, and he senses it. “want some help?” he offers, and you impatiently nod. 

he chuckles, standing on his feet. you wait patiently on your knees, watching him discard his shirt. 

“you think too much, you know?”

before you can ask him what he means, he slaps his cock on your cheek. any and every thought evaporates from your brain, and you can only focus on how good it feels.

you don't say anything but stare up at him with glassy eyes and an open mouth. he laughs, and a devilish tint lurks behind his irises.

“like getting slapped by my cock?” his other hand holds your nape, and you nod eagerly. you lift your hands to rest them on his thighs and close your eyes.

he tugs your hair, forcing you to look at him. “look at me.”

he slaps his cock on your face again. and again, and again. and again till you're absolutely cock drunk, begging to have him down your throat. he slaps his cock one last time on your face. you whine, digging your nails into his thighs.

he chuckles again, cooing at you. “open your mouth.”

you obey, letting your mouth hang open for him. he teases the tip of his oozing cock by rubbing it on your lower lip. you push out your tongue, causing him to chuckle. he taps his cock on your tongue before pushing the tip in.

you hum in content and suck on his tip, swirling your tongue around it. you tease his slit, tracing it with your tongue. joshua bites his lip, and his eyebrows knit in pleasure.

“fuck,” he groans, a sound that fills your heart with pride.

“gonna go a bit deeper, yeah?” you hum around his cock, and he curses.

he pushes your head down his cock, gently. you open your mouth to accommodate him, but the ache in your jaw stops you. you make a noise, stopping him. he does, waiting for you to adjust to his girth.

his fingers caress the side of your face and your nape, causing you to shiver when he brushes a sensitive spot on your neck. his other hand gently holds back your hair. you look at him, nodding your head.

you feel the ache in your jaw lessen when he pulls out, leaving only the tip in. it's soon taken away as he fills your mouth again. he continues so at a mild pace.

you swirl your tongue around his cock, and suck in your cheeks as much as you can. he goes a bit deeper, and you gag, tears pricking your eyes. he moans shamelessly, his movements a bit lazier now.

he pulls out again, and you gasp for breath. a string of saliva connects your lips to his tip. he slaps his cock on your lip, enjoying the wet feeling and sound. it sends a shiver of pleasure to your core as well, which is now soaking.

your panties stick to your core like a second skin. you're afraid that your arousal would drip down your leg. your cunt clenches around nothing and your hard nipples graze against your shirt. the thought of him fucking you fills you with ecstasy.

with your newfound enthusiasm, you move forward, taking his tip between your lips. you maintain eye contact as you do so. you bob your head up and down, gagging at times as you do so. your nails graze the back of his thighs in a pleasurable manner.

“oh god,” he stops your movements, taking a deep breath to compose himself. his abs strain and a few veins pop up at his neck.

“just—just tap my thighs thrice if it's too much, ok?” you blink and nod at him. you relax your jaw and wait for him.

even though you prepare yourself, it still takes you by surprise. he pushes his cock inside in one go and holds your head. you gag and choke, feeling tears stream down your face and drool down your chin.

his hand grips the back of your head, and you feel him twitch in your mouth. your nose brushes against his pelvis and your lips touch the base of his cock.

he feels heavy in your mouth, and you choke on him again, more tears falling from your eyes. he pulls out with ease, and you cough and breathe as much as you can.

you look like an absolute mess right now, a heavenly mess, Joshua thinks. with tears and drool coating your face, your lips swollen, and god, the fucking way you're looking at him.

“think i'm a choking hazard, yet?”

you laugh, but it's cut off when your throat hurts. he giggles and apologizes sheepishly.

“so? should i cum inside your mouth, or?” he teases.

“fuck me, please.”

he curses under his breath, pulling you up to crash his lips against yours. you fall on his bed with him hovering over you. his lips are gentle at first, but the kiss turns deep. his tongue glides over yours, and he kisses you deeply. the ache between your legs grows as you feel his tongue slide over the places his cock was touching a few seconds ago.

his hand wraps around your neck gently, and he squeezes the side occasionally. he pulls away, gasping for air. his chest is pressed to yours, and you feel his heart hammering the way yours does.

his cock grazes against the skin of your thighs, heightening your arousal. “joshua, please fuck me, already.” you whine, nails scratching his back.

“so impatient,” he smiles, kissing your forehead.

he helps remove your shirt and groans at the sight of your hardened nipples. his hands fly to your chest to fondle and squeeze your breasts. he rolls the bud between his fingers and flicks them gently.

he glides his hand down your waist till he finds the hem of your shorts and pulls it down. you relax on his bed with a sigh. it feels so erotic to spread your legs in front of someone you deem a good friend. not to mention that you were choking on said friend's cock a few minutes ago.

you don't miss the smirk that plays on his lips as he observes your stained panties. and it makes you shy, causing you to close your legs, but he stops you. his hands resting on your inner thigh to spread your legs out.

he slowly removes the only clothing left on your body. the arousal sticks to your panty as he peels it off you. he tosses the cloth away and massages your inner thighs, slowly working up his way to your folds.

his fingers prod between your folds, rubbing them up and down and feeling the wetness of your soaking cunt. his thumb brushes your clit, and you fold your legs, bringing them closer to your chest.

he circles your clit, sending waves of pleasure through your body. he leans down to kiss your cunt, and lick the arousal dripping down it.

“not now,” you push his head away, way too eager to take his cock. he kisses your folds before finally pulling away. he looks up at you, smiling softly, but you don’t miss the mischief swirling in his eyes. he kisses your lips again, hands wandering down your body. 

his cock presses on your thighs, and you whimper, almost begging for him. “we don’t have condoms, though. is that fine?”

“yes, i’m on pills.” you say in a nasal tone, your own hands discovering his body. 

“and as long as you don’t have any virus, i’m fine.” you finish, looking at him dead in the eye. he scoffs, rolling his eyes. “i kiss, ok? i don’t get dirty as often.” 

“if you say so,” you sing, pulling him closer and pressing your chest to his. 

“fuck.” he whispers, slotting his lips on yours.  

he breaks the kiss and rubs your thighs. he adores you with his eyes before moving away to align himself to your entrance. he rubs his tip on your folds, and you gasp. “this is gonna hurt a bit,”

and god does it fucking hurt. you have seen guys with his length before, but the girth takes your breath away. you moan with a moan to your eyes and curl to your toes. joshua rubs your nub to distract you from the pain. his other hand strokes your thigh and stomach gently. 

when you seem accommodated enough, he pushes in further. and he does so till he’s deep inside you. it takes everything in him not to push it in one go. the wet warmth of your walls makes him lose his mind, and your clenching doesn’t help either. 

he takes a firm hold of your hips and presses his hand flat on your tummy. he feels his cock through you, and it makes him moan with a bite to his lips. he rests his hand on either side of your head. “wrap your legs around me,” you quickly obey. 

who knew you’d become such a mindless slut for Joshua’s cock? and who could even blame you? his cock stretches your walls with a delicious pain. and you can’t help but clench around him, sucking him in further and further. your hole flutters around his cock, and you’re more than pleased to see the effect you have on him. 

you play with your nipples as he prepares to pull away. he looks at your hands before slapping them away, “tch, bad girl.” 

he pulls out, except for his tip, and you immediately feel empty. he guides his cock inside you again, and you moan when he stretches you out again. he sighs before pulling out again. this time, he snaps his hips to yours in a quick motion. 

he pauses to observe your reaction. “fuck!” you yell, your abdomen fluttering with the deep breaths you take. he takes it as a sign to continue. he snaps his hips again with a vigor he hasn’t shown previously. his moans sync with yours as he continues to thrust in and out of your cunt.

your hands fly to wrap around his strong shoulders as the bed beneath you trembles with his thrusts. his cock drives into your cunt, filling you to the brim. but he’s careful to not hurt you, ending up using only half of his length. 

he undoes your legs around him and shifts to stand on the floor. he pulls you with him, and you yelp. “shh, don’t want them to find out what we’re doing, do you?” he places his forefinger on your lips and caresses your cheek. 

“don’t care,” you whisper, and it takes him by surprise. the change in your behavior fuels him to only fuck you harder. he grips your hips, using them to maneuver your movements. he eases in, filling you entirely, and pulls out, only to slam his cock back in. 

“fuck, see that?” he asks, interrupting your moans and whines. you lift your head, looking at his cock stretch you out. but that’s not what he’s talking about. he slams back in, and you see a bulge in your stomach. you gasp, your walls fluttering at the sight of the bulge. 

joshua fucks you harder, focusing his eyes on the bulge, and your clenching drives him over the edge. he looks up to find you focusing on the bulge as well. one of his hands finds your face, squeezing your cheeks together. 

he leans in, kissing your puckered lips harshly. his thrust only turns rougher with each passing second. the sound of skin slapping, your whimpers mixed in with his moans, and the distinct creak of the bed serve as a drug for Joshua. he picks you up, and you wrap your arms and legs around him in instinct.

you cling to him as he fucks you in the air. you don’t even have time to be impressed by his strength because his cock occupies every space in your mind. his cock screws into your cunt, harder and harder each time. you whine, nails digging into his shoulders. 

his thrusts turn erratic, hips stuttering desperately to meet yours. he gasps, and his cock twitches with the need to release. fuck, he needs to come inside you. the mere idea of it drives him to fuck you with more strength. 

your moans get louder, surely to catch the attention of bypassers outside the cabin. his gasps and moans make you look at him. his head is thrown back, and he fucks you mindlessly. his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows, and you’re overcome with the need to mark it. a sheen of sweat coats his body, and the light shimmers off it, making him look heavenly. 

he pulls you closer, pressing his chest to yours. he shifts one of his hands to hold your weight, grabbing your ass, and the other wraps around your upper back. you grind your hips, chasing some friction. he groans, tongue darting out to meet yours. 

you eagerly welcome his tongue, tilting your head to kiss him deeply. your moans are swallowed by him, and both his hands now grip your ass. he kneads them in his hands, fucking you faster each time you clench around him. 

“fuck! fuck!” he curses, hips stuttering to meet yours. your toes curl, and you scratch his back, biting his shoulder to quiet down your screams. you clench around him one last time and climax on his cock. 

with a final thrust, he succumbs to his pleasure, releasing his load inside of you. you moan in unison, and he rushes to place you on the bed. he falls on top of you, cock still planted deep inside your cunt. he twitches, releasing the last of his load inside of you. 

he doesn’t pull out, opting to stay inside you as he rests his forehead on yours. your legs tremble, and you take frequent breaths to calm down from the high.

“believe me, now?” your eyes are closed, but you can feel his smirk. you kiss him to shut him up, not wanting to hear his bragging.

with a kiss on your forehead, he pulls out. you hiss, your cunt feels empty, and you almost whine for him to put it back in. he falls to your side on the bed. you both lay breathless and stare up at the ceiling.

your legs and your core feel sore. a sigh leaves your lips, knowing you can't walk tomorrow without looking like a duckling.

“i'm calling in sick, tomorrow.” you inform your—what is he to you now, anyway?

his hand caresses your legs and sides as he cuddles up next to you. you snuggle into his warmth, slumber filling your veins.

“that bad?” you're too tired to retort his teasing.

“yeah. turns out your cock isn't just a choking hazard, it's also a health hazard.”

his laughter echoes through the walls of your cabin, and he hugs you tighter. you fall asleep with a smile on your face.

tags; @seungkwanschicken @aaa-sia @dokyeomkyeom @bangantokchy

@asyre @armycarat2612 @bewoyewo @gyuguys @embrace-themagic

@aaniag @nurihihi (send an ask to be on the taglist!)

[screamlet]

08x06 fix-it fic: break and be mended

not connected to that excerpt i posted before, just something completely different. 4.5k, read on the ao3

---

Another hospital room. Buck takes a deep breath and closes his eyes again, letting it out and hoping he gets back to sleep. It doesn't happen, though, because his brain catches up to his eyes:

Maddie, wearing a yellow paper hospital mask, a hand anxiously on her belly, sitting in the chair next to him with that too-familiar oh-thank-god-you're-finally-awake face… and Tommy leaning in the doorway.

He takes another deep breath and opens his eyes again.

"You're okay," Maddie says patiently, slowly, as Buck tries to slam the door shut or set the doorway on fire with his brain. "It's just the turkey flu, it hit you hard."

That breaks Buck's concentration. "Wait, is this a dream? Another coma dream? Turkey flu has to be something I made up."

Maddie raises her eyebrows and looks over her shoulder at Tommy before turning back to Buck. "Another one?"

"No, no, don't look at him," Buck interrupts. "He's not supposed to be here, not when I have turkey flu, not ever. He broke up with me, remember?"

In the doorway, Tommy shifts his weight from one foot to the other. He's wearing the dark blue LAFD t-shirt and pleated pants, a special Air Ops patch on his shirt sleeve. They always lurked under his flight suit, under his turnouts when they were on the same scene, but Buck didn't get to see them often. It was for the best, he thinks now, because the shirt fits perfectly across Tommy's chest and shoulders, the pants belted low. His shirt is tucked in better than Buck's ever is. He almost never got to see him like this so it feels like some new Tommy he's seeing, a Tommy that hangs around Harbor long enough to take off his flight suit but doesn't peel the rest of his work self off. He doesn't get off his shift, put the pilot away, shower and go home.

Buck looks away. He's looked too long.

"I'm actually here, you know." Tommy raps his knuckles on the door like that's proof of anything except a very strong poltergeist. "I can hear you."

Buck watches something that he hasn't seen in years sweep across Maddie's face (mostly her eyebrows, because of the mask).

She turns around and snaps, "I let you come within ten feet of my brother and you think bitchy fun Tommy was invited, too? He was not." Tommy looks shocked and abashed; Buck loves her so much.

"Why was he invited at all, Maddie?" Buck asks. "And you're both real, right? Like I'm not hallucinating both of you. Is that a turkey flu symptom? Can I have my phone? I need to look up turkey flu."

"It's a strain of avian flu, you just happened to get it from a turkey farm. Hen said you had a call to one of those last week," Maddie explains. "And you kept giggling when I said the words turkey flu so, you know, why not?"

"It's pretty funny," Buck admits. "Hey, why's he here?"

Maddie turns around and looks at Tommy expectantly. Buck still knows his face, still knows him, and can see the quip that wants to escape past his lips. He can see the work it takes to hold it back and look sincere, really sincere, for them.

"You collapsed at a scene and I flew you over," Tommy says. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Buck stares at him as he presses his lips into a fine line. "I'm okay. Thanks."

Tommy nods, then asks, "Can we talk? Alone?"

It's taken four months, almost as long as they were together, but Buck's finally hearing the words he's wanted to hear since Tommy walked out his door. I'm sorry, I was scared, I love you, yes let's take the next step together, from now on let's take every step together—that was Buck's first choice. Can we talk as a jumping off point for all those other things—that was Buck's second choice. Was.

Buck glances at Maddie and knows his face does something dumb. "I'll be outside," Maddie says. "And I'm not far, if you want me to throw him out." She looks over her shoulder at Tommy. "I'll do it."

Tommy nods. "Wouldn't doubt you for a second."

She squeezes Buck's hand and lingers for a beat, one long look at him like she's waiting for him to say actually, wait, don't, stay, but he doesn't. He hates that he doesn't. He hates that he wants to hear what Tommy has to say.

She and Tommy swap places; he takes the chair next to Buck's bed and she leaves, shutting the door behind her. Tommy doesn't see the way she passes by the window like a shark, watching, but Buck laughs. When Tommy looks back, she's gone.

"Your sister's changed a little," Tommy says casually. "Her sense of humor, I mean."

Buck licks his lips. "Yeah, well, when you were my boyfriend, you were her friend. Now you're neither."

"Yep, got it," Tommy says. He sits back in the chair, but looks so uncomfortable that someone would think he'd never sat in one before.

"Are you okay?" Buck asks. "Why are you here?"

"This chair is so weird."

"Tommy, what do you want to talk about?"

It startles Tommy, and it should. He only got soft and smitten, totally-in-love (even if he couldn't admit it out loud) Evan Buckley, cute and bratty Evan Buckley. He doesn't get that Evan anymore. No one has.

Tommy sits with his feet flat on the floor and his hands folded in his lap. He takes a minute, a long minute, of staring at the floor before he looks up and stares at Buck. "You asked me to move in with you."

Buck blinks. "I did."

"You asked me to move in with you."

"You said that. I mean, I said that, but you—"

"Evan," Tommy interrupts.

"I thought I was Buck now," Buck interrupts.

Bitchiness lurks on Tommy's tongue, but he holds it back. "You asked me to move in with you. Into the loft."

Buck tilts his head. "Yeah?"

Tommy shuts his eyes hard and shakes his head before he looks at Buck again. "Evan, I own a house."

"... okay?"

"Did you ask me to move in with you and expect me to give up my house?"

"What, no—" Buck says, then stops himself. "I don't—I didn't think—"

"Did you even think about that?" Tommy asks. "Like when you talked about moving in together, getting married, the future, all of that—did you even remember that I own a house?"

"You know," Buck interrupts. "Four months ago, you could have said, haha, wow, that's moving pretty fast, also I own a house, maybe when we're ready, we could move into MY HOUSE and make it OUR HOUSE, but you needed to run out the door so why would you say any of that?"

"Yeah! I was freaked out! Because here was this guy I—this guy I really liked, and he asked me, a 40-year-old man, to move into his loft?"

"What's wrong with it? Why do you keep saying it like that?"

"It's downtown! Downtown is loud and filthy and did I mention it's noisy? It was hell sleeping there in the summer because even with your central air, heat rises and it rises right into the bedroom. I saw your electric bill, Evan, it was unforgivable."

Buck wants to throw something at him. "And we could have been at your house, quiet and with better temperature control, but we weren't because…?"

"I'm just saying," Tommy continues. "Yeah, all that's true, but I realized you wanted me, wanted a future with me, and you didn't even remember that when I wasn't working or with you, I was at my house."

"I get that," Buck says. "Now how many times did we hang out at your house?"

Tommy sighs. "It's out of the way, your place was always closer to the 118 and to Harbor, and I kept—I was going to, okay? Like maybe after our anniversary, we'd take a week off together and we'd actually be at my house, or take a trip somewhere—"

"You got me basketball tickets," Buck snipes at him.

Tommy stops completely.

"For our six month anniversary, remember?"

"How the hell am I going to forget that?"

"You got me tickets to see the Lakers. Really good tickets."

Tommy rolls his eyes. "Alright, well, that's the last time I call that guy I know in the press office for anything."

Buck thinks he's getting closer to setting something on fire with his mind. "I hate basketball."

Tommy stares at him. "What the hell are you talking about? We met because of basketball."

Buck sits up so quickly and angrily he starts wheezing and that turns into a coughing fit. Tommy's immediately there, sitting on the edge of his bed with water, getting him to take a small sip as he rubs his back. When Buck realizes what's happening, he covers his mouth with his blanket and shoves Tommy away, coughing even more.

"Sorry, I was just—"

"I have turkey flu!" Buck yells through the blanket covering his mouth.

"The doctor said you're not contagious anymore."

Buck points at a small paper box across the room. Tommy, so put-upon, grabs a pale yellow mask and slips it on before he sits in the chair again. "Sorry."

"It's—" Buck halts because Tommy had grabbed two masks and was holding one out to him expectantly. Tommy motions to it again and Buck can see how he wants to make a bitchy comment about not having this conversation through a hospital blanket, but he doesn't. That's what makes Buck reach out and put the mask on. The icy fist around his heart thinks about melting.

"We didn't meet because of basketball, we met because of Bobby and Athena and the cruise ship," Buck corrects. "I wanted to see you again after that tour at Harbor but I couldn't think of another reason—"

"I gave you the widest of openings," Tommy interrupts. "Hello? Flight lessons? When you finally offered to buy me a beer, I almost dropped to my knees right then and there."

"But you never called me! You're the one who left to hang out with Eddie!"

Tommy throws up his hands. "Ball was in your court! Speaking of basketball."

Buck sighs, exasperated. "We weren't, like, running into each other, I didn't have a reason to call you—don't say the beer—so finally I saw Eddie was going to that pick-up game with you and I dragged Chimney along."

"Right," Tommy says. "And you played basketball with us. We kicked your ass in a way that made me think you were pretending to be bad at it to make me feel good or something? And then there was the whole thing with Eddie's ankle."

"I hate basketball!"

"You brought your own ball!"

"I same-day ordered a basketball so that when I showed up you'd be like, wow, that guy's ready for basketball, what a cool guy!"

"So you're mad that your basketball ruse worked on my dumb ass, and worked so well for six months that I got you Lakers tickets for our anniversary."

Buck's so annoyed that he put it like that. Maybe that's true, but he didn't have to say it. "I don't like basketball! It was a ruse but I didn't hide it after. You watched games with Eddie and I never came along because I don't like basketball."

"You said you wanted us to have our Eddie-Tommy friend time!"

"Why do you make me sound and feel like a five-year-old? Eddie-Tommy friend time? Seriously?"

Tommy folds his hands together like he's in prayer and shuts his eyes. "Okay, listen, I just. I wanted to get the house thing off my chest, alright? Because it's—it's bothered me so much."

Buck could argue about the basketball thing for about another 500 years, except that Tommy has said what he said. "Has it?"

Tommy puts his hands in his lap again, folded politely as he looks at Buck. "I meant what I said. You were so swept away in how new and exciting everything felt, that I felt like you forgot who you were talking to. Like… I'm not a guy who's going to move in with you. I'm a guy who has a house with a home gym and a car lift, and—and the winter was so mild that I put in this little patio space in the backyard. I bought furniture for it. I took this corner of my front lawn, too, and started to plan a pollinator's garden because they sounded really interesting after those three days of bee hell. Evan, I have a house."

"You keep saying that," Buck says. His ears are burning, but he's listening too intently to feel embarrassed about it (much).

"I freaked out, alright? Because I heard: give up your house to live in this downtown loft with a couch that has a faded but GIANT blood and placenta stain on the other side of the cushion, and then the words engaged and married got thrown in there, too? All in the same breath?"

Buck stares flatly, then nods. "Yeah. I get it. Sorry." He clears his throat and grabs his water before Tommy can offer it to him. He takes a sip, looking at Tommy before he nods at the closed door. "Are we done here?"

"And I'm not a gay rights hero," Tommy adds. "You said that, too." Tommy looks away, and looks so miserable. "I'm just a guy, Evan. I've been burned before by younger guys who thought I was everything that their first gay boyfriend should be, and then—and they didn't see who I was. It's always—" Tommy holds out his hands like he's balancing scales. "Not straight enough to fake a life with a woman, not gay enough to have a real life with a man."

Buck hasn't done this in so long that his throat almost aches with it. He sighs, pained and breathless, the word crinkling against the mask: "Tommy." He swallows again and asks, "Did you really think that was me?"

Another long pause. It ends with Tommy saying, "I thought you were too good to be true."

"I'm not, though, I'm—I'm just me," Buck says. "And I did have a lot to figure out, but not about you."

Tommy laughs suddenly. "Really? Because you forgot I was a homeowner and I didn't know you hated basketball. Did you even go to that game?"

Buck coughs. "I gave the tickets to Karen and she took one of her brothers. They're nuts about the Lakers."

"Huh," Tommy says. "Well. I'm not mad about that."

The two of them are quiet until Buck says, "Seems there's a lot of things we don't know about each other."

Tommy glances at him; Buck can see the shape of his smirk beneath the mask, and the very specific way it makes his eyes crinkle. "And just when we thought we knew everything about each other."

"Yeah, I thought that, too, and then you dropped that you were engaged to my first serious girlfriend at our six month anniversary dinner." Buck raises his eyebrows. "Do you land helicopters that smoothly, too?"

"I got you here, didn't I?" Tommy bites back, then catches himself with a laugh. "Okay. Fair point."

It's so easy, it's so easy, it's so easy, it's so easy and Buck hasn't had it easy for months. He hasn't had these quips, this back-and-forth, this person who got him until he didn't, who—Buck rubs at his eyes. Tommy made it easy. He made everything easy. Not perfect, not effortless, but easy. Easier.

"So, uh." Buck fusses with the blanket in his lap. "What have you been doing for the past four months? You, uh…"

"Am I seeing anyone?" Buck nods. "I was, yeah. Didn't last that long."

Buck can't help himself: "Neither did we."

"Ouch." Tommy looks back. "And you?"

"Yeah," Buck says. "I liked them but I broke up with them because it just—it wasn't going anywhere."

"And what's wrong with that? Staying in one place? Isn't that what you wanted for us?"

It's not, but Buck can't articulate it, so he says, "Do you think that's the same?"

A beat, and then Tommy says: "No. No, I don't."

"Tommy," Buck says quietly. "How many people do I have to be with before you decide I've figured it out?"

Tommy's eyes widen. "What? I never said that."

"Tell me what you said, then." Buck swallows painfully, that turkey flu kicking his ass harder than he thought. "Tell me what you meant when you said I didn't know what I wanted. Because I told you what I wanted. I told you I was ready for something and all the things we did together, I thought that you believed me. I guess you didn't, so tell me how many bodies it'll take before you believe me."

Tommy doesn't say anything.

"God, and you know what really sucks?" Buck asks. "That we were together long enough to talk about who we'd been with so we could get tested and be safe. We talked about all that, but I never told you how many times I'd had my heart broken and you never told me yours."

"Three," Tommy eventually says. "Shawn, who was like… all of 25. He was all-in, knowing for sure that the first time was the charm, and I was old enough and steady enough to be That Guy. I believed the hype even though I was barely out of the closet. I shouldn't throw stones at Abby's House of Himbos when I set up my own on the other side of town. And then there was Raúl, my Army buddy who came out to his family and immediately moved to LA to get away from them. Everything felt like a fresh start for him, but… not quite for me."

Buck thinks to ask, but Tommy beats him to it. "Do I need to say the third?" Buck shakes his head. "What about you?"

"Abby, and you." Buck looks at Tommy as he says, "It's not just ending things with someone because it doesn't work. It's heart break. Something's gotta break and be mended."

"I don't think I did that part. You've one-upped me there."

Buck wouldn't have believed that 20 minutes ago, but he believes it now.

"So Bobby's been there, watched me since I was Abby's himbo and helped me to grow into the person who wanted that stuff with you. Once he, kinda, told me that if I care about how people see me, then I haven't learned a damn thing," Buck says. "And that is and isn't true, here. I can't live hoping I meet people's expectations of what they think I should be. I want people—I wanted you—to see me as I am. I thought you did but you didn't, and I didn't either because I didn't see how scared you were. I've made my peace with that. We had something really special and made each other feel really good but, in the end, I guess we were saying all the right things to people we didn't know."

Tommy listens, considers, and nods. "Whole lot of past tense, there."

Buck glances at him and doesn't want to look away, but he does. He doesn't meet Tommy's eyes. He's scared, too. He's done enough today: said a lot of things he's been thinking about for four months and said them very calmly and thoughtfully, but this is gonna hurt. It hurt Buck to realize it and it's gonna hurt Tommy to hear it.

"You got what you wanted, right?" Buck asks. "You got to keep your heart, and I don't feel new and excited anymore." Buck inhales deep; it hurts. "I feel like I did before, like I'm short one piece of being whole. Now the ocean I have to search is so much wider and deeper. So thanks for that, I guess."

"Evan—"

"I let you into my family," Buck interrupts sharply. "Because I cared about you and because you fit. I fit because they're mine and that's my family I made, and you fit there right next to me. With us."

"You're absolutely right."

Buck watches him, tries to see behind the sunshine yellow and white mask on his face, but all he sees are his eyes that, like always, make Buck feel too much, like laser beams disintegrating him.

"Were you really that scared?" Buck can't help the way his voice cracks. "You were that scared of me?"

Tommy looks up again, lasers in place. "I was that in love with you." He shakes his head like he did that last night in the kitchen, and looks up like he'll tip the tears back into his eyes. "And those heartbreaks—you'd leave them light-years behind if I let you. You'd leave me light-years behind."

Buck nods, then says, "Could you leave, please." His wet breathing crinkles grossly in the mask. "Thanks for telling me all this, thanks for the closure, but I don't need to see what someone looks like after they've walked away from me."

"You collapsed at a scene three days ago and I was the closest pilot to medevac you here," Tommy says slowly. "You were delirious and told Shreya, Don't tell Tommy I'm sick, he doesn't care anymore."

Tommy clears his throat. "I do care. I never stopped."

Buck sits back in his hospital bed and pulls the blanket up to his neck, the only comfort he's got right now. "If this is a turkey flu dream, I'm gonna be so pissed at you, real you," Buck says.

Tommy laughs quietly, sadly, then hesitates for a moment. "Can I ask you something? Can I ask you the scariest thing I've ever asked anyone in my entire life?"

Buck doesn't move, doesn't breathe. "What is it?" he finally asks.

"Will you give me a second chance?"

Buck, hearing what he's quietly dreamed of hearing for four months, doesn't feel the euphoria he thought he would. He feels something else, though: a strange kind of wonder that someone wants him again. Again. He swallows hard, feeling the pain right in his turkey-flu-ridden throat. Someone knew him. Someone left him. Someone came back—came back for him.

Tommy left. Tommy came back. Tommy wanted him then. Tommy wants him now. Tommy's wanted him all along.           

Buck asks, "Will you invite me to your place more than once every six months?"

Tommy's half-smile is still wide enough for Buck to see behind the mask. It falls, though, back into something serious. "Will you forgive me when I'm not a paragon of queer virtue?"

"Will you believe me when I tell you I've fucked around and found out enough for a lifetime?"

Tommy raises his eyebrows ever so slightly. "Will you believe me when I tell you I've fucked around and found out enough for a lifetime?"

Buck thinks he smiles a little behind his mask, but it doesn't stay. "Are we gonna break up again?"

"I don't know," Tommy admits. "But maybe next time we can stop each other and hit the brakes. I love romcoms, but maybe we don't do that again: you don't propose fixing a problem with marriage and a baby, and I won't run out the door."

Buck raises his eyebrows, too. "Who said anything about a baby?"

Tommy sputters. "I mean, you were the one raising the stakes before."

Buck laughs. "Right, right."

The quiet stretches out between them. They look at each other and don't look away. The stubborn, proud, cocky side of Buck feels annoyed that this feels like—like he can't get out of this. Like all roads lead back to Tommy, like he doesn't have a choice. Like if he wants to be happy, it's with this person.

A part of him wants to run and throw himself into the hunt again. He wants to thrive in the search for someone who makes him feel that euphoria and fondness and love that he felt with Tommy. He tries to imagine someone else, some vague smoky figure that isn't Tommy's height, Tommy's build, Tommy's arms crossed over his chest and that tilt of his head. The problem is that Buck feels more looking at that furrow and arch of his eyebrows than he's felt for anyone he's met in the past four months, maybe even longer.

Not all roads lead to Tommy—only the ones he wants to take.

"Say it again?" Buck asks.

Tommy nods ever so slightly. "I'm in love with you." He pauses and a smile reaches his eyes. "I love you."

Buck can't help the way his eyes water; neither can Tommy.

"Ask me again," Buck says.

"Will you give me a second chance?"

"Yeah." Buck wonders if his own smile reaches his eyes. He hopes it does. "Yeah. Will you?"

Tommy chokes out a laugh behind his mask. "Yeah, god, of course. Of course. You sure?"

"About you?" Buck asks. "Yeah. I mean, I want to be. Don't make me regret it."

"Don't make me give up my real estate."

"Don't make me go to any sports events."

"Seriously? Not even baseball?"

"God," Buck moans. "The sleepiest one of all."

"Hockey's good."

"You hate the Kings."

Tommy scoffs. "Of course I do. You always hate your local teams—you just hate visiting teams more. Can't let management get comfortable."

Buck attempts to take a deep, exasperated breath, but he forgets that he has the fucking turkey flu. He chokes and starts to cough and wheeze, but Tommy's there again. He freely, lovingly pushes Buck further to the other side of the hospital bed so he can sit and take care of him: water, tissues, hand on his chest to steady him, eyes worried and on him.

"It's not official until you kiss me," Buck says. "I'm not contagious."

"I mean, not with turkey flu," Tommy says. "Your Buckness? That I'm not so sure."

"Don't call me that anymore," Buck says.

Tommy puts his cup of water on the table next to Buck's bed, then shifts so he and Buck are closer, face-to-face, head on looking at each other. "How'd you get even brattier in only four months?"

"How'd you forget I was this bratty?"

"At my age, well, everything's starting to go."

Buck laughs, then coughs and wheezes. "Stop making me laugh."

"How'd you forget I was this funny?"

Buck tilts his head. "I didn't. I didn't forget a thing."

Tommy searches his face, then cups his jaw with one hand. Buck doesn't lean into it, just lets Tommy hold him as he tips Buck's chin up ever so slightly.

Then Tommy kisses his forehead and his birthmark, and wraps his arms around Buck. It's the warmest Buck has felt all winter. It finally feels like spring.

---

read on the ao3

[tteotlma]

Panic and Proximity

-- Trapped with Logan in a safe room, your biggest weakness reveals itself.

(Wolverine/Reader) 1.7kw

a/n: it's been like six years since i posted a fic.. smth short and sweet

TW: anxiety, panic attack, mentions of vomit, close spaces, forced proximity(?), CLAUSTROPHOBIA, tight spaces

"Bobby!" you yell over the deafening roar. You dig your heels into the dirt, pivoting to run towards your friend. A Sentinel has Bobby pinned, ice against ice. Suddenly, the ground opens beneath him, swallowing him whole. Your heart leaps into your throat, but in the next instant, the sky above the massive monster splits open. Bobby drops out, ready to swing full throttle.

You glance back to see Kitty sprinting towards you, Logan not far behind.

"No, run!" she screams, grabbing your arm as you both dash into the building.

"But Bobby—" you start, turning to look back at your friend. He seems to be holding his own, but for how long?

"It's okay, he's coming," Kitty pants as she phases you through industrial shelving.

Logan's gruff voice surprises you. "How do you know?"

"Because I'm gonna get him," Kitty replies, pulling you deeper into the building. "I just need to make sure you guys are safe first."

"And how are you gonna do that?" you ask, breathless. Your feet pound the floor in rhythm with theirs, legs aching. Only the adrenaline coursing through your veins keeps you going. 

"This way," Kitty hisses, yanking you towards a narrow corridor. The building's layout becomes a maze of twisting hallways and locked doors. Alarms blare, red emergency lights casting eerie shadows.

Logan sniffs the air. "We've got company. Multiple hostiles, closing in fast."

"There's a safe room," Kitty says, her voice strained. "It's small, but it'll have to do."

Your stomach tightens at the word 'small'. "How small are we talking?"

She doesn't answer, instead phasing through another wall, pulling you along. You emerge into a dim, cluttered storage area. At the far end, a heavy metal door stands ajar.

"In there. Now!" Logan growls, glancing behind you.

The thundering footsteps of your pursuers grow louder. Your heart races as you approach the door, catching a glimpse of the cramped space beyond. It's barely larger than a closet.

Kitty pushes you forward. "You don't have a choice. Get in!"

You hesitate, your breath catching in your throat. The walls seem to close in already, even from outside. But the sound of gunfire erupting behind you slowly convinces you to enter, but not fast enough. Kitty grabs both you and Logan and before you can protest, she phases you through the thick steel door. 

“Don’t go anywhere.” Kitty demands before she walks through the other side of the closet just as quickly as she put you in here. 

A small “no” escapes your lips as you reach out to touch the walls. You try to find any crevice to show your not completely shut off from everything but its no use, it’s too dark and from what your fingers can feel there’s nothing. The steel is stainless, and smooth. 

“Fuck,” you whisper, suddenly becoming too aware of your heart beating in your chest, and you suddenly feel lightheaded. You try and catch your breath but you can’t, you try and breathe but your lungs cant open enough as it hits you, your world shrinks to the size of a coffin. You try to take a deep breath, but you keep coming short.

"You okay?" Kitty whispers, her voice too close in the blackness.

You want to answer, to say you're fine, but the words stick in your throat. The walls are too close, the air too thin. You're trapped, and panic begins to claw its way up from your chest.

You try to soothe yourself, eyes squeezed shut, desperately imagining a vast field. Hoping to enhance the illusion, you peel your hands from the walls. Suddenly, a loud boom shakes the room, steel groaning around you. Logan tenses beside you, a stark reminder that danger still lurks beyond your confined space.

Your breathing becomes more erratic. Sweat beads on your forehead as the small space seems to shrink even further. Your fingers tingle, and a wave of nausea hits you.

"It's okay, it's okay," you mutter, but the words sound hollow even to your own ears. You take a step back, trying to escape the wall, only to collide with Logan's chest. He finally notices your distress.

"Hey, you alright?" He shifts, touching you lightly. You flinch away instinctively.

"Sorry," you pant. "Would now be a bad time to tell you I'm claustrophobic?" You attempt a chuckle, hands fumbling to steady yourself. Eyes clenched shut, you feel saliva pooling in your mouth. "I think I'm gonna barf," you whisper.

"Hey, hey!" Logan turns you around to face him. "Look at me." You briefly open your eyes, making out only his shadowy form, hunched over. You quickly shut them again.

"Are you hunching over because the ceiling's too short?" you ask, still dizzy. Your fingertips find his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his solid torso. He shifts, followed by a soft thud.

"No," he says.

"You're lying." You clench your hand, pressing your fist against his stomach. The rhythm of his breathing slowly anchors you, pulling you back to reality.

"Maybe, but that's not important," he says, his voice closer than before. You feel him shift, moving nearer.

Your fist sinks deeper into the muscle of his stomach as his heavy hands rest on your shoulders, grounding you.

"Why are you just saying something now?" he asks, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

"I-it never seemed to matter," your voice shakes, your other hand wrapping around his forearm for support. "Until now." You feel tears forming in your eyes. "I-I'm sorry."

"Oh," you hear him breathe out softly. "Oh, Y/N." He sighs, a mix of concern and understanding in his tone.

Suddenly, his arms envelop you, cradling your head against his chest. The gesture, though meant to comfort, unfortunately intensifies your panic. Your breath hitches as the feeling of being trapped increases, despite the warmth of his embrace. You try to pull away but his arms don’t budge. 

Your breathing becomes more rapid against Logan's chest. The warmth of his embrace, meant to comfort, instead fuels your panic. "I can't—" you gasp, your fingers clawing at his shirt. "It's too tight, too close."

He cuts you off, shushing you. 

“Yes, you can.” He reassures you, his hand stroking your head.

"Listen to me," Logan says firmly, his gruff voice softening with an unexpected gentleness. "We're gonna try something. Focus on my voice and breathe with me. Can you do that?"

You manage a small nod against his chest, your forehead pressed against the rough fabric of his shirt. Logan must feel the slight movement because he shifts, adjusting his stance to better support you.

"Good," he murmurs, the word rumbling through his chest. "Now, feel my breathing. Try to match it."

Logan takes a deep, deliberate breath. You feel his chest expand against you, the steady rise and fall a stark contrast to your own erratic gasps. He holds you close, one hand splayed across your back, the other cradling the nape of your neck. His calloused fingers are surprisingly gentle, grounding you in the moment.

"In through your nose," he instructs, his voice low and measured. You struggle to comply, your breath hitching. "That's it," he encourages. "Now hold it for a moment."

You feel the pause in his chest's movement, a moment of stillness in the chaotic swirl of your thoughts. 

"Now out through your mouth," Logan continues, his own exhale warm against the top of your head. "Slow and steady."

As you attempt to follow his lead, you become acutely aware of other sensations: the faint scent of cigar smoke clinging to Logan's shirt, the steady thud of his heartbeat against your ear, the warmth of his body contrasting with the cool metal walls surrounding you.

"Again," Logan says softly. "In... hold... and out. You're doing great, kid."

Gradually, your breathing begins to sync with his. The vice-like grip of panic on your chest starts to loosen, ever so slightly. In this small, dark space, Logan's presence becomes an anchor, a point of focus beyond the suffocating walls.

"That's it," he murmurs, a note of approval in his voice. "Just keep breathing with me. We'll get through this together."

You nod, one hundred percent sure that if you were to talk right now, it wouldn't be heard. Closing your eyes, you lean more of your weight against Logan. You take in his scent—a mix of cigar smoke, leather, and something uniquely him—his warmth seeping into you, his solid presence anchoring you in the moment. You melt into him, relishing the feel of his muscular body against yours.

In this intimate moment, your mind drifts to all the times you've admired Logan from afar. He's always been the ruggedly handsome mentor, the forbidden fruit that made your heart race during training sessions. You've caught his lingering glances, felt the electricity when his hand corrected your stance, noticed how his eyes seemed to soften when they landed on you.

There's always been something there, simmering beneath the surface. An unspoken connection, a tension that neither of you dared to acknowledge. You've told yourself it was just a silly crush, that Logan saw you as nothing more than a student. But the gentleness in his touch now, the care in his voice—it speaks of something deeper.

This moment, trapped in this tiny space, feels like a test of your limits. The boundaries between mentor and student, between longing and reality, seem to blur. Your racing heart isn't just from claustrophobia anymore, and you're certain Logan can feel it.

But now isn't the time for these thoughts. The danger lurking outside this safe room, the mission at hand—it all comes rushing back. You know you should pull away, regain your composure, focus on the task at hand. Yet, for just a few more seconds, you allow yourself to stay in Logan's embrace, drawing strength from him in more ways than one.

As your breathing finally steadies, you reluctantly begin to pull back, ready to face whatever comes next. But not before you catch a glimpse of something in Logan's eyes—concern, certainly, but also a flicker of something else. Something that makes your breath catch for an entirely different reason, you realize you're still pressed against Logan's chest. You step back slightly, looking up at him in the dim light.

"I... Thank you, Logan. I don't know what I would've done if..."

He cuts you off with a gentle squeeze of your shoulder. "We all have our demons, kid. The trick is not letting them win." His voice drops lower, almost a whisper. "You did good."

The moment is interrupted by another distant explosion, reminding you both of the pressing danger.

[punkshort]

Roommates | 8. forever

Pairing: pornstar!joel x f!reader

Chapter Summary: Tommy and Maria get married.

Chapter Warnings: language, angst, idiots in love, alcohol and food consumption, sexual tension, flirting, a wedding!

WC: 7.6K

Series Masterlist

"Oh, goddamnit," you muttered under your breath, pausing in your rush across the hot parking lot to tug your dress out from underneath your heel. You crouched down for a moment to examine the dress to make sure it wasn't damaged before you stood back up, this time bunching all the extra material in your fist before trotting as quickly as you could to the entrance of the restaurant.

"Slow down, you ain't missin' anythin', they haven't even sat down yet," Joel said, startling you from his post on a bench next to an ashtray.

"Oh, hey," you said breathlessly, then looked him up and down. "Were you smoking?"

He shook his head and stood up, dusting off his grey dress pants in the process. "Just gettin' some air. Tryin' to cut back."

"Good for you," you said, then nodded towards the door. "Ready? I need to get out of this heat."

"After you."

You thought for sure you would be in for Maria's wrath when you hit traffic and ended up being almost fifteen minutes late for the rehearsal dinner, but mercifully, Joel was right. The group was in the reserved banquet room but hardly anyone had sat down yet. Instead, people were mingling and laughing in small groups as the waitstaff filled up waters and placed open bottles of wine across the tables.

As you scanned around and looked for a seat, your eyes landed on someone familiar and a wide smile stretched across your face.

"Mrs. Miller!"

Joel and Tommy's mother beamed when she heard your voice and quickly abandoned the people she was talking to in favor of pulling you into a hug.

"Oh, honey, how are you?"

"Good! Late, but good," you laughed when she released you from her death grip. She kept her hands firmly planted on your shoulders and gave you a once over.

"Love that dress, my goodness. Doesn't she look beautiful in this dress, Joel?" she asked mischievously. You felt your cheeks warm and you looked down at the floor while Joel just rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Mama," he replied flatly.

"You'll sit with us, right, dear?" she asked.

"Of course," you said with a nod.

"Good, I want you to meet the man I've been seeing," she replied before wrapping her thin fingers around your arm to lead you to her table, which, of course, was shared with Tommy and Maria.

James seemed nice and he got along well with both Joel and Tommy, from what you could tell. Before he retired, he worked in construction, just like their own father before he passed away, and he seemed absolutely smitten with their mom. His arm was around the back of her chair or holding her hand the entire dinner and you could tell Mrs. Miller was adoring every second of it.

"Are you still seeing that lawyer, dear?" she asked right when dessert was placed in front of you. You felt your chest tighten as you stared down at your tiramisu and you focused on the skills you learned in therapy whenever you felt this type of feeling crop up. Take a few deep breaths, collect the data, put things in perspective. Just as you were about to answer, you felt Joel's hand on your knee and he cleared his throat.

"No, Mama. Didn't work out."

He must have given her a look when your gaze was still fixed on your plate because there was an awkward silence before she spoke again.

"No matter. Plenty of fish in the sea. Maybe you'll meet someone tomorrow at the wedding."

You forced yourself to meet her eye and smiled. "Yeah, maybe," you replied weakly. Joel's fingers tensed around your knee for half a second before he slowly pulled his hand away to pick up his fork. When she began to talk softly to James, you took the opportunity to shoot Joel a grateful smile, which he returned with a wink.

"Thank you," you whispered. "I could have handled it but... thank you."

"Welcome," he replied just as quietly. "And I know you coulda, but you don't gotta do everythin' by yourself."

Joel began to eat his dessert while you sat there, immobilized. For some reason, hearing him say those words knocked you on your ass for a moment. You were always the type to take on too much and rarely ask for help, another trait that contributed to your anxiety. The only thing that pulled you out of it was Tommy's voice aimed in your general direction. He was giving instructions to the wedding venue from the restaurant so you all knew where to go after dinner to do one quick walkthrough before the big day, so you nodded along and finally picked up your own fork.

"You wanna follow my truck?" Joel asked once dinner disbanded and everyone slowly filtered into the parking lot. You shook your head and pulled your keys out of your purse.

"No, I think I know where it is. It's not far from the hotel."

He nodded and glanced over his shoulder, checking on his mother. "You get settled in okay?"

You gave him a curious look. "In the hotel? Yeah."

The wedding wasn't too far away from home but most of the wedding party elected to stay in the hotel where the reception was being held so they wouldn't have to worry about getting a ride after drinking.

He nodded again and swiped his palm over his mouth. "Which room?"

You laughed and playfully shoved his shoulder, making him grin and stumble a bit over the asphalt. "What?" he asked innocently, but he didn't sell it. You rolled your eyes but couldn't stop smiling as you unlocked your car and opened your door, tossing your purse onto the passenger seat. As you were about to bunch up your dress and get into the car, Joel cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow, indicating he was still waiting for an answer.

"409," you said with a sigh. His tongue clicked against his teeth and he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"418. Right across the hall."

"What a coincidence." Propping one arm on your hip and the other on the roof of your car, you tapped your fingers on the hard plastic, waiting for him to say something else. His eyes drifted up and down your body before meeting your gaze once again, the corner of his mouth twitching in amusement. People streamed past you to their cars, heels clicking on the blacktop and soft chuckles floating in the air, but you kept your eyes pinned on each other, silently daring the other to say something more.

Against all odds, or maybe it was always inevitable, your relationship managed to mostly repair itself over the past few weeks. It was nice to have Joel back in your life again in any capacity he was willing to offer, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore your feelings for him. The morning you woke up on Tommy and Maria's couch with Joel's arms wrapped around you, holding you against his broad chest with his face buried in your hair felt like a literal wake up call. As you laid there listening to his deep, steady breaths, you tried to think back to a time when you fell asleep in his arms without sex preceding it, but you came up empty.

It felt really fucking nice, so you had closed your eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but it was impossible. You felt like yourself again. You spent months in therapy wondering where that feeling went when all along the answer was right there.

"See you at the country club," he finally said before tearing himself away and forcing his feet to move in the direction of his truck.

"Yep," you said softly, watching him longingly as he made his way through the cars until he disappeared from view. You took a deep breath and looked around the parking lot when your gaze unexpectedly met the deep brown eyes of Mrs. Miller, watching you from the passenger seat of James's SUV.

You felt something happen in that moment. Something unspoken passed between you through the glass and you had never felt more seen. Woman to woman, she held your gaze and you swallowed the lump in your throat, knowing your expression was betraying you by that point, but what could you do?

James pulled out of the parking spot and you blinked, snapping yourself out of your stupor. When the car passed, you could see the knowing look in her eye, one that told you you weren't fooling anyone, and then they were gone.

The event coordinator, Michelle, was a tiny little thing who also happened to be very bossy. She probably did at least one wedding a weekend the entire summer for god knows how many years, so she knew her shit, but considering the entire wedding party had just come from dinner with copious amounts of alcohol, her patience was wearing thin. She was barking orders at the first bridesmaid and groomsman at the front of the line while the four of you stood in the back snickering to yourselves.

"Goddamn, she ain't messin' around," Tommy said quietly with a grin.

"A woman after Maria's heart," you replied over your shoulder.

"I've never felt more calm in my life," Maria chuckled softly. "There's no way this isn't going off without a hitch."

On the actual day, it would just be you and Joel at the end of the line, but Tommy and Maria wanted to observe during the rehearsal.

Michelle was making her way down the rows of bridesmaids and groomsmen, instructing each set how to stand, where their hands should be, and what their cue was to start walking.

"Slow!" she barked after a pair began walking. You saw the bridesmaid's shoulders flinch and you had to hide your grin by biting your lip and looking down at your feet.

When she got to you and Joel, you straightened up. Suddenly it felt like you were back in high school and the vice principal was about to chew you out for skipping class.

"Closer together, please," she told you, waving her perfectly manicured, blood red fingertips at the two of you. Immediately, you stepped to the side and apparently so did Joel because you bumped into each other.

"Okay, not that close," she scolded. You had to hold yourself back from kicking a foot at Maria when you heard her snickering.

Michelle took you by the shoulders and placed you exactly where she wanted, then did the same to Joel, leaving just a few inches between you. You could feel his fingers impatiently twitching at his side and you got the feeling Michelle made him nervous, too.

"Okay, crook your elbow, like this," she told him, yanking his arm up and bending it before she flattened his palm against his stomach. "Great. Don't move. Maid of honor, loop your arm through, place your fingers here, hold your bouquet at your bellybutton. Both of you, straighten your spines and begin a slow walk once they make it to the first set of chairs. Any questions?"

You both quickly shook your heads and you looped your arm through Joel's, just as she instructed, and pretended to hold a bouquet at your waist with your other hand.

When you saw your cue, you both began to walk, praying you were going slowly enough. You heard her voice begin talking to Tommy and Maria, asking if they had any questions or if anything was missed, and you breathed a sigh of relief.

"Fuck, she's scary."

You giggled and glanced up at him. He was staring straight ahead but he had a little amused smirk tugging across his face and you could see that damn dimple creasing his cheek. You tried not to think about how close you were to him, how long it had been since that night on the couch, or how comfortable it felt to touch him again, and instead focused on where you were supposed to stand once you got to the altar.

Joel dropped his arm and you went your separate ways, taking your places at the front of the bridal party, and waited for the next instructions. Tommy and Maria came down the aisle talking with Michelle and motioning towards the chairs while you all waited. You let your gaze drift over to the men and you caught Joel already looking your way. You gave him a little smile and you watched him swallow before taking a deep breath, dragging his eyes away from you.

Michelle's commanding voice cut through the air and you snapped your head back in her direction. She was explaining the bullet points of the ceremony to everybody while she pushed Tommy and Maria up on the altar between you and Joel.

"Next, the officiant will say you may kiss the bride, you two will kiss-"

Tommy took that moment to wrap his arm around Maria's waist and bend her backwards before planting a wet, sloppy kiss on her lips, causing the entire wedding party to break into fits of whooping and laughter. Michelle clapped her hands sharply and the noise instantly ceased. Tommy picked Maria back up, who was pressing her palms against her cheeks with a huge smile, and he shrugged.

"Sorry, thought we were rehearsin'."

She cleared her throat and raised a thin eyebrow at him before she continued, explaining the music would start and Tommy was to lead Maria down the aisle, which he did without goofing around.

"You two," she said, motioning towards you and Joel. You both stepped forward and stood where Tommy and Maria were just standing. "Same as before, hold onto his arm, keep your bouquet at your bellybutton, and don't begin walking until the bride and groom walk down the entire aisle, got it?"

You both nodded stiffly and, once Tommy and Maria reached the end, you started to walk. Michelle began to instruct the next couple and Joel picked up the pace a little once he knew she wasn't looking.

"You're gonna get us in trouble," you teased.

"Wouldn't be the first time."

You gasped and gave him a little hip check and then you heard Michelle calling after you to stop fooling around.

Joel chuckled as you felt your face flush with an embarrassing smile. A few months prior, a comment like that might have sent you spiraling into a pit of self despair just for simply being reminded of the camping trip, but that day you managed to let it roll off your shoulders.

You joined Tommy and Maria and watched as the rest of the bridal party practiced leaving the altar. Joel casually stretched his arm behind you, leaning on a railing so he could say something to Tommy behind you and Maria, but when they finished up and Tommy began talking with his groomsmen, Joel kept his arm on the railing. The fabric from his button down was brushing ever so slightly against the skin of your back, exposed by your dress. Your jaw was tight from the effort it took to not react when his thumb skimmed over your spine, sending tingles across your skin.

"Did I tell you this dress looks nice on you?"

His voice was warm and deep against your ear and it took everything you had not to lean back into his shoulder, it was so hypnotizing.

"Your mom kind of did that for you," you reminded him quietly, keeping your eyes on the rest of the wedding party as they began to cluster around Tommy and Maria, laughing at some story Tommy was telling them about his tux fitting.

"Well, it does. This's your color," he said lowly and you could practically feel his eyes dragging over your soft curves being hugged by the delicate material.

"Thank you," you replied a little breathier than you would have liked. You tilted your chin to risk a glance at him, finding yourself immediately getting lost in his eyes. You searched his face, trying to read him, trying to figure out what he was thinking but you kept getting hung up on all the little details about him that you loved. The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, the patchiness in his beard, the little scar across the bridge of his nose.

Fuck, he was perfect. How did you ever let yourself take it for granted?

"What're you thinkin' 'bout?" he asked softly. Apparently he had been doing the same thing to you: trying to read your expression, see inside your head.

You swallowed and gave your head a little shake.

"How fucking stupid I was."

His eyebrows twitched up in surprise, his lips parted and you were certain he was about to say or ask something else when Tommy stuck two fingers in his mouth and whistled so loud, the whole wedding party groaned and covered their ears.

"C'mon, let's all have one more drink back in our room, place is fuckin' huge," he announced, causing a ripple of laughter amongst the small group.

And just like that, the moment was gone.

Maria and another bridesmaid hooked their arms through yours, pulling you away from Joel and through the venue towards the parking lot, laughing and babbling suggestions for their hair the following day. You glanced once over your shoulder and caught his eye, clocking the tortured look he gave you. Even from a distance you could see the longing, the curiosity to learn what you meant, and the absolute frustration at having the opportunity ripped away.

Joel tapped lightly on your door the next morning but figured out pretty quickly he was too late. You had already left with the other bridesmaids and Maria to get ready at the country club, leaving Tommy and the groomsmen to get ready in the honeymoon suite at the hotel.

He tried to get you alone for just five fucking minutes the night before but the group was too small and it was impossible to tear you away without being obvious. He could tell you wanted to talk, too. He saw it in the way he caught your eye more than once in that measly little hour spent in Tommy's hotel room. Then he got caught in a painful conversation with another groomsman about golf and suddenly, you were nowhere to be found.

He excused himself and hurried back to his room, hoping to catch up with you, but it was no use. He hovered around your door, fingers carding anxiously through his hair, wondering if he should knock, debating over and over in his mind whether or not invading your space would scare you off until he heard an elevator chime and the doors slide open and he slipped into his room in a panic.

He should have just fucking knocked.

The next time he would see you would be at the ceremony. He wouldn't be able to talk to you til the reception, well after pictures and dinner and speeches were done.

It was going to be a very long day.

You up? We got breakfast here, get your ass going

Joel rolled his eyes as he continued to gather his things after his shower, wishing more than anything that you had just texted him instead of Tommy.

Be there in 10

He draped his tux over his shoulder, two fingers hooked through the hanger, and carried a small bag of toiletries in his other hand as he shuffled out the door, stealing one last glance at your room as he went.

He rode the elevator up to the top floor and stepped out, already hearing the men laughing and glasses clinking with the steady thumping of a deep bass line through the walls. Knowing he would have to be loud for them to hear, he made a fist and pounded on the wood, rattling the door in its frame. It swung open and Nick, the groomsman who monopolized his time last night talking about fucking golf, stood on the other side.

"Joel, mornin'. Come on in, got some catchin' up to do. We're already two drinks deep." Nick stepped aside with a friendly smile and allowed Joel to enter.

"Two drinks? Shit, might wanna slow down, gonna be a long fuckin' day at that rate."

Nick laughed and let the heavy door close, then patted him on the shoulder as he headed over to the little kitchen area. "We all put our shit in the spare room. Go ahead and I'll get you somethin' to drink. Got some food here, too."

"Alright," Joel replied, his eyes drifting around the living room as he walked towards the bedrooms. Tommy caught his eye and raised both arms in the air.

"I'm gettin' married!" he shouted excitedly. Joel grinned and kept walking.

He would have to be patient. As much as he couldn't get you off his mind, he had to be present for his brother. This was going to be one of the happiest days of his life and Joel would be damned if he messed that up for him.

Nick slid a glass of champagne in Joel's hand after he emerged from the spare room and he quirked an eyebrow.

"Pacin' ourselves," Nick explained with a shrug.

Joel nodded and took a sip, the flute looking comically small in his grip, before setting it down and forcing himself to join in the festivities. And he was doing a pretty good job at pushing you from his mind for once until a few hours later. All the men had gotten dressed and a hairdresser Maria hired was going around fixing loose pieces of hair on everyone when Tommy's phone pinged. He picked it up and a huge smile spread across his face.

"It's Maria."

He turned the screen around to show a picture she took. It was of the room where the girls were getting ready, a candid shot of bridesmaids in the background getting their makeup done or sipping on champagne. The main focus of the picture was Maria's left hand extended in front of her, her engagement ring sparkling in the light, but Joel hardly noticed the diamond when you were in the corner of the shot talking to another bridesmaid with a dazzling smile that always made him weak in the knees. You looked so fucking beautiful and you didn't even have your makeup done yet.

He wasn't the only one who noticed you, unfortunately.

"Hey, what's the deal with Maria's maid of honor?" Nick asked Tommy. "She's pretty and seems like fun."

If Joel had even a moment to think, he might have caught the way Tommy immediately looked in his direction, conflicted and unsure what to say. But it didn't matter because Joel set Nick straight instead.

"She's unavailable."

Nick swiveled to look at Joel. "Oh, damn. Figured as much."

Joel nodded and cleared his throat, trying to avoid the very obvious look his brother was giving him, and took a long sip of whiskey.

Once Nick wandered away, Tommy instantly sidled up to Joel and he knew he was in for it.

"Unavailable?" he repeated under his breath. "Got somethin' you wanna share?"

Joel shrugged, trying to look casual but he knew Tommy saw right through him. "It's the truth. She ain't interested in seein' anyone."

"Hm," Tommy said, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, loving the way his brother was squirming under his questioning. "How'd you find that out?"

"She told me."

"Told you."

"Yep."

"And under what circumstances did she... tell you?"

Joel frowned and finally dragged his gaze to meet Tommy's. "We're just friends now."

"Didn't exactly answer my question."

Joel scoffed. "Don't you got shit to worry 'bout, like vows or somethin'?"

Tommy shook his head. "Nah, got that all locked down. Would much rather hear 'bout your friend."

He groaned and rubbed his eyes. "Ain't nothin' to tell, I promise. Nothin's goin' on."

"Well, weddings are romantic. Drinkin'... dancin'... beautiful venue... dim lights. Might stir up some old feelin's."

Joel nodded and looked at his watch with a sigh. "Limo'll be here soon."

Tommy bit his cheek, wishing Joel would open up a bit more, but decided not to push it.

"Oughta wrangle everyone up. Almost show time."

"They're here!" a bridesmaid squealed when she saw the limo pull up to the front doors and the men slowly piling out, one by one.

"Well, guess he didn't get cold feet," Maria joked next to you as she fumbled with her earrings, but judging by the way her fingers shook, she was nervous.

You stood up to fuss with her hair, making sure the flowers that were carefully weaved in were still firmly in place.

"You look absolutely stunning," you told her warmly with a smile through the mirror. She took a deep breath and finally dropped her hands in her lap.

"Thank you. For everything. I know you got your own shit going on -"

"Nuh-uh, none of that. Today's not about me. It's about you and Tommy and I'm delighted you chose me to stand next to you today."

She smiled and reached behind her to squeeze your hand, which was curled around her shoulder. Tears welled up in her eyes and she nodded. Just one quick, definitive nod signaling the topic was closed, then stood up and brushed her hands over her dress.

"Well, let's go do this," she said, her voice wavering just a bit. The rest of the girls heard and cheered excitedly before scurrying around to check final touches on their makeup before filing out the door, where Michelle stood waiting.

"Ladies, the groomsmen just got in position and the groom is heading to the altar now. Maria, your father is waiting for you in the office. We'll hide you in there in case there's any late arrivals that might sneak a peek."

Once you all filed down to the foyer, you hung back to give Maria one last hug before she was whisked away into a small office where her father stood waiting with misty eyes.

When the door closed behind her, you gripped your pink and purple bouquet in one hand and gathered up the skirt of your peachy dress in the other and lightly jogged to catch up with the rest of the bridal party. When you turned the corner, everyone was finding their partner and whispering excitedly amongst themselves while Michelle walked around, making small adjustments to posture and checking everyone's teeth.

Joel turned around when he heard your heels clicking on the tile floor and couldn't stop his smile from spreading when he laid eyes on you.

"Sorry, just wanted to give her a quick hug," you said to him quietly as you took your place by his side. You were busy fixing your dress and batting pieces of hair out of your face so you didn't notice the way he was gazing down at you, temporarily spellbound.

"No problem," he finally managed to say, then caught Michelle making her way towards him so he quickly jut out his elbow for you to loop your hand through. After Michelle adjusted the placement of your bouquet and moved on, you finally glanced over, taking him in for the first time. He looked so fucking good, it was criminal. All the groomsmen were wearing the same tux, and all of them hand white button downs open at the collar with no tie, but Joel looked the best, by far.

Your mouth opened to tell him so, but at the last second you chickened out.

"Did you guys have a good morning?" you asked instead.

His eyes roamed leisurely over your face and the longer he took to answer, the faster your heart raced under his scrutiny.

"Yeah, it was alright," he finally said. Somewhere in the back of your mind you heard music begin to play and the first pair of the bridal party began to walk. "Wanted to catch you before you left this mornin' but you must've got an early start."

"Oh?"

He nodded slowly, eyes still trailing over you, admiring how beautiful you looked. He knew he was being obvious but he couldn't bring himself to care.

"Did you need something?" you asked, swallowing the lump in your throat. You knew you should have been paying attention, that you would miss your cue if you didn't, but you couldn't look away from his heated gaze.

"No, just..." he trailed off and took a deep breath, eyes momentarily fluttering closed before he reopened them. "You look really pretty."

Blood rushed to your cheeks and you smiled.

"T-thank you, you-"

"Best man, maid of honor, let's go!" Michelle whispered angrily, snapping you both out of your daze. Forcing a smile on your faces, you waited for your cue and began to walk up the aisle.

Aside from Maria, you two were the last to enter. The altar looked stunning. Not a single flower was out of place. The white rose petals the flower girl had scattered were evenly distributed along the deep red carpet that was laid over the grass to mark your way. You passed by rows and rows of friends and family, their faces lit up with excitement while the photographers bounced around in your peripheral vision, snapping pictures as you went.

When you reached the end of the aisle, Joel dropped your arm and you stepped apart, each taking your rightful place, just as you practiced.

The music changed and the doors opened, finally revealing Maria and her father. You glanced over at Tommy so you could see his reaction but your gaze locked with Joel, instead. His face softened and he shot you a secretive wink before dragging his attention to the bride.

The ceremony was beautiful. The sun was shining but it wasn't too hot. Both of them remembered the vows they wrote, bringing out the occasional laugh or tear from the guests. It made your heart swell to see your best friend so unbelievably happy. And when Tommy dipped Maria backwards for a dramatic first kiss, even Michelle cracked a smile from her place in the back.

After the ceremony, the wedding party was whisked away to take pictures while the guests enjoyed a cocktail hour back at the hotel ballroom. If you weren't in the pictures, you spent most of your time with the rest of the bridesmaids and occasionally stealing glances in Joel's direction when he wasn't looking. Shit, you hadn't even drank anything since you had a mimosa earlier that morning and you still couldn't keep your mind off him.

It didn't help matters when, at one point, the photographer asked for a picture of just you and Joel. Under the warmth from the sun, he had began to sweat a little. You could see it from the way the exposed patch of chest glistened and when you got closer to pose for the picture, his natural scent mixed with the hotel soap he must have used that morning filled your nostrils, making it difficult to focus.

"You got your speech all ready?" he asked once the photographer moved on.

"I think so. You?"

He nodded. "Ready as I'll ever be."

"We should probably do a couple shots first, loosen up," you joked, nervously twisting your hands together in front of you.

His face lit up and he unbuttoned his jacket. "Here," he said, handing you a small flask with his name engraved on it. "Gift from Tommy."

"Nice. All I got was this necklace," you said sarcastically with a laugh and a point to your neck before unscrewing the flask and taking a sip. The whiskey burned on the way down and you felt the warmth bloom in your stomach, your muscles instantly relaxing.

"Thank you," you told him, handing him the flask. His fingers brushed against yours briefly, sending sparks down your spine, and you quickly tugged your hand back, averting your gaze. "Oh, looks like your mom's up next. Might wanna head over."

He sighed and readjusted his jacket after pocketing the flask. "Duty calls, I reckon."

You nodded and pursed your lips, rocking back and forth on your heels. Why were you acting so weird? It was just Joel. But as you watched him stroll across the perfectly manicured lawn, you knew why.

After dinner and all the festivities were over, you were going to find the courage to finally tell him how you felt.

And you couldn't be more nervous.

It felt like dinner took forever. Michelle drilled into your head that your speeches would come after dinner and before the cake cutting, so naturally the entire time you were eating, you were a nervous wreck. Fortunately you were too nervous to even drink anything else past the small sip you had from Joel's flask, your stomach twisting in knots the longer it took for each table to get served. Tommy and Maria disappeared after they ate to greet each table and be back in their seats by the time dinner was finished, so you sat picking at your food with your heart hammering in your chest, scrolling the notes app on your phone, reviewing your speech.

"Nervous?"

You jumped at the sound of Joel's voice, who had somehow slid over to take Maria's chair without you noticing.

"That obvious?"

He shrugged and leaned back, surveying the ballroom.

"Your foot's tappin' so fast it's shakin' the damn table."

You giggled and dropped your face into your hands with a groan. He chuckled and took a sip from his glass of champagne, then paused when his eyes landed on an older woman at a nearby table looking in your direction.

"Who's that sittin' next to Maria's folks?"

You popped your head up and looked, then your face broke out with a wide grin. "That's my mom," you told him without taking your eyes off her, giving her a little wave. Joel looked back and forth between the two of you.

"You look alike, shoulda guessed."

"You think?" you asked, then your smile slipped when your mom pointed in Joel's direction and gave you a face before fanning herself with her open hand. You clenched your teeth and slashed your fingers in front of your throat, trying to tell her to knock it off, but she just laughed.

"Pretend you didn't see that."

"See what?" he replied innocently before giving your mom a charming smile and wave.

"Joel!" you exclaimed, smacking him in the leg. "Stop flirting with my mother!"

He threw his head back and laughed at that, his shoulders bobbing up and down and his hand clutching his stomach and just seeing him so happy and carefree made you smile and laugh, as well. Once he regained his composure he straightened up in his chair, his cheeks tinted pink and his eyes bright as he looked at you.

"Don't worry, baby, don't wanna make you jealous."

Your jaw dropped in shock and your brow furrowed but your heart fluttered excitedly in your chest at the term baby coming from his lips again. Before you even had a chance to formulate a response, he cleared his throat. "I'm just kiddin'. Tryin' to take your mind off the speech. Did it work?"

Did it work? This man had you spinning around in circles and he didn't even see it.

"Yes," you mumbled, mind still reeling. Baby, baby, baby.

"Good, 'cause we're up," he said, his eyes drifting over your shoulder, spotting the newlyweds heading your way. He stood and vacated the chair so Maria could sit back down.

You took a deep, shaky breath when the DJ cut the music and made the announcement that the speeches were to begin, and the whole ballroom fell silent, turning in their chairs to get a better look at the long table where you sat up front.

Joel went first, which initially you were relieved, but then about thirty seconds into his speech you realized you wish you could have just gone and gotten it over with because you could hardly focus on anything he was even saying. You faintly remembered him talking about growing up with Tommy and telling some embarrassing story that made everybody laugh but then ended up getting the guests teary eyed when he turned it around at the end, using the story as a sweet example of how Joel always looked out for him and he was now passing that torch onto Maria.

After a polite round of applause, Joel sat down and all eyes turned to you. The DJ told everybody your name, announcing you were the maid of honor, before walking over to hand you the microphone. You cleared your throat before standing on shaky legs and forcing a nervous smile for the room.

"Good evening," you began, then repeated your name. "I have not only the pleasure of being Maria's maid of honor, but also her best friend."

You stole a glance in her direction and you felt your nerves begin to subside when you saw the look in her eye and the warm smile stretched across her face.

With a deep breath, you confidently launched into your speech. You began by telling the guests how you met, how you bonded over one particularly painful meeting at work and afterwards got sushi together for lunch. Ordering the same dish by happenstance cemented your relationship and from then on you saw each other through countless breakups, illnesses, birthdays and even some vacations. After telling the room a silly story about a road trip the two of you took one year with no destination or goal in mind other than to have fun and live in the moment with the promise to stay close forever, you paused and looked down at Maria next to you.

"And then she met Tommy," you said, eyes drifting in his direction. "I knew from the day she came home and told me about him that he was different."

Tommy smiled and wrapped an arm around Maria's shoulders.

"I don't think I've ever seen two people more perfect for one another," you continued, turning your attention back to the room. "At the center of everything, they're best friends. They accept each other, faults and all." Tears began to well up in your eyes, trying not to draw comparisons to your own life as you pushed through. "And that's how I knew early on we would end up here today."

You looked back over at the newlyweds, Maria leaning into Tommy's shoulder, pure happiness radiating from them both as they gazed at one another.

Then you locked eyes with Joel and your throat went dry.

He was looking at you, hanging on your every word, and the expression on his face told you he must have been thinking the same thing as you. Unable to tear yourself away from the emotion behind his eyes, you continued your speech for the room, but it felt like you were talking directly to him.

"When two people love each other fiercely, when they're willing to do whatever it takes to make things work, when they learn to open their hearts and make sacrifices for the sake of that other person, their partner, their love... I believe that is what makes a relationship last." You dragged your eyes away from Joel and looked at Tommy and Maria once again. "And you've both proven time and time again you're more than capable of doing that for one another."

Maria swiped a tear from the corner of her eye and you picked up your glass, watching as the rest of the room did the same.

"I'd like to wrap up with this quote I found online, so I can't take credit," you said with a ripple of soft laughter echoing through the ballroom. "'Love is a friendship that has caught fire. So may your love burn bright for years to come'. Here's to my best friend and her new best friend."

After the room collectively toasted to the new couple and rewarded you with a round of applause, you slumped down in your seat with a sigh of relief. Maria tugged your shoulders, pulling you in for a hug that squeezed all the air from your lungs, whispering her thanks in your ear, then Tommy followed up with the same and a kiss on your cheek.

You tossed back the rest of your champagne and immediately looked around for a server to ask for more. Now that your nerves were finally at ease, you wanted to enjoy the rest of the party and relax, temporarily pushing the conversation you planned to have with Joel from your mind.

Tommy and Maria stood to go cut the cake, diverting the guests's attention so you could slip away to the bar with your empty glass. As you were leaning up against the bar, waiting for the bartender to refill your glass, you felt a familiar presence sidle up next to you. When Joel brushed his palm against your lower back, you had to suppress the shiver that tried to make it's way down your spine.

"Can I get one of those?" he asked the bartender when she returned with your drink. She nodded and placed a cocktail napkin on the bar before disappearing.

Joel's shoulder nudged against yours and he tilted his face towards you. "Nice speech."

You smiled and continued to stare down at the tiny bubbles rising and popping in your drink. "Thanks. Yours was good, too."

"Here you go," the bartender said, placing an identical glass next to yours. Joel nodded his thanks and lifted it up, raising it between your bodies for a toast. You obliged, gently clinking your flutes together before taking a small sip and turning around to look out over the ballroom. Across the way, Tommy and Maria were posing with their cake while photographers and guests took pictures.

"I liked that quote. 'Bout friendship that turns to love," he said nonchalantly. You bit your lower lip and tried to tamp down the rise of emotion in your chest, your nerves in desperate need of some rest.

"Yeah, I thought it was fitting."

Your eyes flickered to his, those deep brown eyes you'd had the pleasure of seeing in every shade, then to his mouth, his soft looking lips so inviting, you wondered what they tasted like in that very moment. Probably champagne, but you were willing to bet you would get a hint of chocolate from the wedding favors that were placed at every seat because you knew him well enough to know he couldn't resist sweets.

"You ever have that?" he asked, and you thought you could hear a little tremor to his voice. "Friendship that turns into love?"

Your heart hammered wildly in your chest as you took a shaky sip from your champagne, eyes now pinned on the newlyweds but you were hardly absorbing a thing that was happening. Your mind was racing with the implication behind his loaded question and you could hardly remember your own name.

Taking a deep breath, you answered him.

"Once," you said softly, then slowly turned your head, gazing up at his side profile while he appeared to be taking in the party, but you could see his pulse thrumming fast in his neck, his tanned skin twitching with every nervous beat of his heart. "You?"

He hummed and finally tilted his head in your direction, eyes drifting up and down your face, tongue darting out to wet his lips. "Yeah. Once."

You felt yourself practically melt under his gaze, your muscles going lax, your body being pulled like a magnet towards him. Was it too late? Did you miss your chance? Or was it possible something was still there, something that could be salvaged? Joel murmured your name, his hand rising from his side, and you had a feeling you were about to get your answer when a familiar voice shattered the moment.

"Joel! C'mon, take pictures with my phone while I dance with your brother. James can't see in this lighting, he won't get it right."

As Mrs. Miller got closer, she noticed you next to him for the first time and it was impossible to miss the look of regret on her face when she realized she interrupted your conversation.

"Oh, nevermind, I'll find someone else," she said, clutching her phone to her chest, eyes sliding back and forth between you both. You cleared your throat and stepped away with a smile.

"No, you go on. I have to find my mom and say hi."

Before he had a chance to stop you, you slipped away, weaving through the crowd until you disappeared from view.

"I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean to intrude."

Joel shrugged and tossed back the rest of his champagne. "It's alright, Ma. Go dance with Tommy, I got it," he said, holding a hand out for her phone. Hesitantly, she placed it in his palm, then reassuringly rubbed her hand up and down his arm.

"Will you save me a dance for later?"

Joel gave her a pained smile and nodded. "'Course, Mama."

She pressed her lips into a thin line, easily picking up on her eldest son's dismay once you left. Right when they were about to reach the dance floor, she stopped and cupped Joel's face with both hands, looking up at him with an adoring smile.

"It's all gonna work out, honey. I promise."

Joel almost feigned confusion, almost put up his walls so to protect his feelings. But in that moment, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, he sighed and nodded.

"I hope so."

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[authorhjk1]

Well you probably already have a list so maybe next time

Beautiful, easy access, elegant. Perfectly accurate descriptions to both the dresses and the idols who are wearing them

Just long enough that it wouldn't catch suspicion but short enough for you to...🤭

The dazzling jewellery no longer deserves your attention when they spread their legs. Proving they are always ready Did they also sponsore those toys?. A packet of lube is even meticulously hidden inside the inner layer should you really need the assistance.

Those high heels angling their butts just the right amount. Allowing deeper penetration even when standing.

The clacking noise of the heels hitting the the floor, losing balance when their legs couldn't support them (until you yank her upright against you body) triggers a positive feedback loop that taps into your most carnal desire, urging you to thrust deeper and harder.

Well probably don't reply to this ask since this ask is way too long 😂 If you ever want to do something with this I recommend creating a new post instead

Cream

(An Yujin X Jang Wonyoung X Male Reader)

You hear someone walk towards you, the clicking of their heels echoing through the hallway.

You didn't expect her to come. But then again, she doesn't really have a choice. An Yujin rounds the corner, her angry glare is directed at you.

"Swear to me that this is a one time thing."

You shrug your shoulders.

"Depends on how well you do."

"I..."

Yujin seems to slowly accept her fate.

"Fine."

"Let me see it."

You can't really hide your curiosity. You told her to wear it, but she didn't send you a picture as proof, like she was supposed to.

With an annoyed sigh, Yujin turns her back to you. You marvel at how beautiful she looks in that dress.

A heavy breath and Yujin pulls her dress to the side. You're greeted with the sight of her butt. Her round cheeks hide something between them. When Yujin pulls them apart, you can see the metal buttplug you told her to buy and wear.

"I-I don't want to do this."

Yujin turns back around to face you, letting her dress fall in place again.

"You don't have a choice Yujin."

You remind her of the pictures.

"Is there really no other way? I-I could give you something. Anything you want. Money, or..."

There is not enough money in the world to match the chance of experiencing the tightness of Yujin's ass. But there is something else...

"Or maybe house, or a car, or..."

"Your members."

"Huh? W-What?"

Yujin looks at you with wide open eyes.

"Convince Wonyoung to suck me off. Or I fuck your ass."

You watch her inner conflict. This is an impossible choice for her. Yujin doesn't want throw her member, her friend, under the bus. But she also doesn't want to lose her anal virgnity to some stranger.

A couple of minutes later, you hear someone walking towards you again.

"Yujin unnie, you sounded worried, are you okay? Who is that?"

Yujin takes a deep breath and you can tell she is almost about to cry.

"Wonyoung, can you do something for me? He... He has pictures of me. Bad pictures. If you... If you just..."

Yujin takes a shakey breath.

"What pictures?"

"Doesn't matter."

Yujjn's cheeks turn red with shame.

"He said he is going to publish them, if you don't..."

She looks at your crotch. Wonyoung, very slowly, follows her stare.

"N-No, I couldn't! I don't even know him!"

"P-Please, Wonyoung. D-Do it for me?"

Yujin sounds as desperate as she looks.

"It's... It's a blowjob."

She swallows hard, before looking at your face.

"Right? Nothing more."

You nod and Wonyoung looks at both of you.

"Is this a prank? I don't..."

You are aware that Yujin left out the fact that there is an alternative. But you don't mind which of the two you get to use.

"Fine. I will do it, then."

Once Wonyoung agrees, you motion her towards you. You can't believe you're actually going to be inside this pretty little mouth of hers.

You push her to her knees and rid yourself off your pants. Wonyoung's eyes grow wide in fear as she sees your cock. It's bigger than she expected. She never actually...

She takes a deep breath and parts her lips. As they touch your cock, Yujin turns away.

"Oh my god."

You hear her sob, as the younger girl wraps her fingers around your base.

"Good girl."

You praise Wonyoung, putting your hand on the tie in her hair. She looks up at you, the disgust on her face is barely visible with your cock in her mouth.

"If you don't act like you like it..."

You let the thread hang in the air as you take out your phone.

Thinking that you're about to release her leader's pictures, Wonyoung starts to get into it. Or at least she pretends to.

Her lips quickly glide along your length. She moves her head back and forth. Wonyoung can only reach the halfway mark, before she chokes. You push her a little further everytime.

You can't believe that this beautiful woman is giving you head. That beautiful face. Those beautiful lips.

The shutter of your phone camera makes both of them look at you.

"What..."

Wonyoung lets your cock fall out of her mouth as she looks up at you with wide eyes.

"What are you doing?"

Yujjn's angry and surprised tone makes you chuckle.

"What? This is how we ended up here in the first place, didn't we?"

With your hand still on the back of her head, you pull Wonyoung back onto your cock. You hear her choke as you talk again.

"If you don't want me to release the picture of your bandmate, sucking my cock, I suggest you get that pretty ass over here."

Yujin's eyes widen in realization.

"Y-You planned this!"

It took a while, but now you've pulled the buttplug out of Yujin's asshole. Wonyoung is still in the room, unable to look away as you press Yujin against the wall.

"Time to make you mine."

Yujin shudders at your words.

You slowly push into her. The lube, you told her to bring, helps, but it's not exactly easy. But eventually, you part Yujin's walls enough, so you can fuck her properly. Not very fast and hard, but still...

A feeling of a lifetime.

Yujin sighs and groans in pain, whenever you push into her. And an embarrassed moan escapes her lips, whenever you pull out. You feel like you're in heaven. Her ring of muscles clings onto you while you slide in and out of her. Her sparkling heels put her ass in the right height and angle for you, to drive yourself as deep as possible into her hole.

Eventually though, Yujin's asshole is too tight for you to fight off your incoming orgasm.

"Come here, Wonyoung."

You make both girls kneel in front of you as you stroke yourself. Both of their faces are enough to make you climax within seconds. Your cum hits their faces, staining their skin and ruining their makeup. A string of your cum hit Yujin's eye, gluing it shut, while half of Wonyoung's share lands on her cute nose.

The sound of your phone's camera makes both of them shiver in fear.

"What's the password for Ive's official Instagram account?"

[hhonghu]

Inside him.

;; pervert!sub!aether x reader

cw: established relationship, pervert aether, ooc aether, perverted thoughts, cockdrunk aether, rough sex, masturbation, teasing, nipple play, blowjob, deepthroating, usage of sex toys (dildo), cumming inside aether, slight exhibitionism, overstimulation, public sex, reader has a dick

you heard of pervert reader, now lets have pervert aether!! >:) i'll be posting this before working on sex obsessed kabukimono hehe this is a bit short :(, i might rewrite this soon but i wanna just write this down bc it won't leave my head and i have a debate to work on lol please enjoy! let me know if i missed anything! ^^

pervert!aether who drools about you! he can't take his eyes off of you, you're just amazing. your body is to die for, a pure eye candy. his hands would roam your torso, chest, arms, and biceps. he drooling as he feels your skin in his palms, caressing you all over. "looks like someone is enjoying himself." you chuckle, "i'm not complaining though, have your fun."

pervert!aether who would shamelessly stare at your crotch, thinking about your cock. he wants to suck on it right now. he doesn't care what your doing, he wants it in his mouth. he wants to suck on it, to taste you, to have you use his mouth and bury yourself in his throat. he wants you to make him choke on your cock, fucking his mouth with much vigor until you cum in his mouth. pervert!aether who kneels in front of you and paws your clothes. "[name]..." he whines up at you, eyes glossy. he grabs the hem of your pants and tugs on it, you name spilling out of his mouth again. you look down at him and grin, "well aren't you needy? want my cock, baby?" aether nods eagerly, already having your pants down, eying your half-hard cock. you tut, grabbing his hair before he could put your cock in his warm mouth. he whines, warm breath fanning on your tip making you hiss. "[name].. [name], noooo.. please? please— come on, put your cock in my mouth. i need it, please? put in, put in, put it in, pleaseee..!".

pervert!aether who would drag you behind a large tree, hands all over you as he kisses you. "we'll be quick hnghh—, i just need you in me, haaaa— fuck!". pervert!aether who moans in your hand as you pound him from behind, muffling his moans. "you like this, huh? you fuck— you're moaning like a bitch a heat out here in the open, wanna be seen like this? having my dick in your desperate hole? fucking slut." you pound in him harder, making him squeal and buckling his knees. his eyes rolls back as he meets your fast thrusts, "mmph—! you're gonna angh—make me cum, you're gonna me cum, you gonna make me cuuumm♡♡!".

pervert!aether who would play with himself while your away. pervert!aether who would bring out a custom dildo in your size (he begged you to let him use a godforsaken diy kit to mold a dildo out of your dick in case he missed you and your dick apparently lol). pervert!aether who would suck on it as he lays down with his legs open, tongue swirling around the dildo thinking was you above him. he quickly brings his free hand to play with nipples, twisting with his fingers as he shoves the the cock deeper in his mouth, making him gag and choke as it hits the back of his throat. pervert!aether who mewls when he shoves the dildo inside of him, eyes rolling back as he grabs his pretty cock too, stroking it with his fingers. he picks the pace and his back arches, "my god, fhucuuckk! oughh— i can't, i can't, too good, feels too good♡!". he lets out more moans as he jerks himself off furiously while shoving the dildo inside him deeper, making his back arch as pleasure courses through his veins. he gives on last thrust of the dildo in his needy hole, screaming out as he cums, fingers stroking himself faster to prolong his orgasm.

pervert!aether who cries out in pleasure as you draw out another orgasm from him, body convulsing in overstimulation and fingers pinching his nipples making sob. you were so deep in him, your cock was hitting his inside so perfectly, he just doesn't want to stop. "come on, baby. one more time, i'll fill you up nicely." you coo down at him, relishing his flushed face. he looks up to you and shakily nods, "don't stop, [name]..". pervert!aether who couldn't couldn't stop hiccups escaping his lip as your hips thrust in him and sweat dripping the sides of his face. "ah, ah, ah, fuckfuckfuck, yeees♡! faster! harder! fuck me, [name]!", he locks you in his hold, legs and arms wrapping around you and buries his head in the crook of your neck. pervert!aether who clenches around you, breath staggering as he feels you spill your cum in him, warmth filling up his insides. his ass lifts up a bit and grinds back on your cock, making sure your cum stays inside. he mewls out to you, words coming out in a slur, "don't pull out yet, [name]. it's hnghh— it's not enough. i need more of your cock, need it..♡".

[adimilkys]

Can you please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do jjk (especially nanami and toji) with s/o in their special time that doesn't want their children to hear them? (I'm 26, not native speaker, new on Tumblr but love Ur acc)

Be quiet, love.

warnings : MDNI 18+, p in v, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, biting, not proofread

Contains : Gojo Satoru, Nanami Kento

note : I will do a part two 100% with more characters, I just had no idea what to write for Toji for now (sorry anon) my brain is dead from working... also this is hurried because I haven’t posted anything for so longg

part two (soon)

Gojo Satoru

You’re in the kitchen, drinking water after finally putting your kid to sleep. Satoru was still in their bedroom reading a bed time story, even after a full day of chaos you weren’t that tired, which was surprising as your days lately just ended with falling asleep within seconds from exhaustion.

Suddenly, you felt hands wrapping around your waist and pulling you back. Satoru leaving kisses all over your neck and shoulders. “Do you know how hard has it been for me all day? Wearing those shorts that barely cover your ass… tsk, naughty girl~”

He spun you around, picked you up and sat you down on the counter, continuing his assault to your neck. “Toru… not in here-” you whined, trying to pull his head away- which of course doesn’t work.

“I don’t think I can wait any longer… need you so badly.” He whined, his hands sneaking under your shirt, pinching your nipples.

“What if baby wakes u-” He slammed his lips on yours, cutting you off. His tongue slid over your lips, when you didn’t open them one of his hands slid down and cupped your pussy, making you gasp. He didn’t waste any time, immediately entering your mouth.

“I’ll be quick” with that, he grabbed your shorts and pulled them off right with your panties. You knew damn well that was a lie, Satoru is never quick, he loves taking his time while fucking you, making sure to fill you up until his cum is spilling out of you.

He replaced his tongue with two of his fingers, making you slightly gag. “Suck.” You complied, staring up at him with teary eyes, swirling your tongue around his fingers. He cursed under his breath at your face. “You tease… giving me the fuck me eyes, hm?”

His fingers left your mouth, immediately going down and entering your hole, making you gasp. Not wasting any time he scissored you, making sure to loosen you up as fast as possible, feeling if he didn’t, he would burst in his pants just from looking at you.

You hid your face in his neck, trying to muffle your moans. “Just like that wifey, you don’t want to wake baby up, right?”

As you were about to cum he pulled his fingers away, making you whine which was immediately replaced by a gasp- filling you up with a quick thrust.

He groaned into your ear, grabbing your legs and wrapping them around his waist, giving you no time to adjust he started pounding into you at an inhuman pace.

“T-Toru!” You moaned a little too loud, biting his shoulder to contain your moans. “Shh… You’re doing so g-good… fuck.” Satoru bit his lip, trying to be quiet as well.

His pace has not slowed down even a little, going faster and faster, hitting that one spot- giving you no mercy.

“C-Close!” You managed to say before letting out a cry, your feet digging into his back as you came all around his cock.

Fuck, you were gripped him so tight. With a few more deep thrusts he buried himself right against your cervix and shoot out ropes of his cum.

You didn’t even get any time to calm down before you heard little footsteps upstairs. Immediately pushing Satoru away to put on your shorts.

“Mama… Papa?” Your kid yawned, standing at the bottom of the stairs.

“Sweetheart… what are you doing up?” You said trying to stand up but wincing at the sudden pain in your legs. Satoru decided to be the one to take over the situation, walking up to the little kid and taking them in his arms.

“I heard some noises…” Satoru sighed, nodding your way and taking baby up the stairs back to their bedroom.

“Papa?”

“Yes baby?”

“Why do you have a bite mark there?”

Nanami Kento

Lately you and your husband haven’t had time for any activity in bed. Your kid has gotten the flu which was really stressing. Not to mention that they’re extra clingy while sick too, always needing your attention.

Finally it has calmed down, and your baby was out asleep because of the meds. “God I need a long, relaxing bath after this week.” You sighed falling onto the couch.

“Already done, love. Even added all your oils in it.” You looked over to your husband, a grin on your face, opening your arms motioning for him to come and hug you.

“I love you so much, my amazing husband.” You left kisses all over his face while he held you in his arms. “Then I hope you wouldn’t mind if I… joined you?”

You leaned over to his ear, whispering "of course not" which made him immediately pick you up, throw you over his shoulder and carry you to the bathroom while you laughed.

He didn't waste any time in undressing you, knowing your baby could wake up. You got in the bath, Kento right behind you. You sighed leaning your head back on his shoulder, the warm water soothing your muscles.

Suddenly you felt kisses all over you neck, the mouth finding your sweet spot and sucking on it, making you let out a quiet moan. "Just relax, let me take care of you, love."

One of his hand toyed with your nipples, while the other with your folds. "No teasing, Ken..." he chuckled, two of his fingers entering your hole, making you gasp.

He found your spot in no time, abusing it over and over again. You couldn't contain your moans, thank god your bathroom was far away from the babies room.

"S-Shit- I'm-"

"Close? Cum f'me, love" he didn't have to tell you twice, you came hard all around his fingers, a silent scream leaving your lips. "S'good f'me... my pretty wife." He pulled his fingers out, grabbing your face and connecting his lips with yours, the kiss was gentle, full of love.

"I'm going to enter now, alright?" You nod your head, your nails were digging into his thighs. He positioned himself against your entrance before slowly thrusting in.

Even though it's not your first time, with Kento it feels like it is every single time. "S-So big- ugh...!" you moaned, your head threw back, eyes closed.

His thrusts started off slow, but sped up every second, some of the water splashing out of the bath and onto the floor. "You feel so good, love-" He groaned into your ear, his hands gripping your hips.

Suddenly he pulled out, you whining at the lost sensation before he picked you up, left the bath and bent you over the bathroom sink, entering you once again.

"Look at yourself, hm? So beautiful, all mine..." he grabbed your face once again, making sure you're looking in the mirror. You're hair was sticking to your face, water droplets flowing down your body. You could also see the way his dick moved in and out of your pussy, stretching it out.

His hands were wrapped around your waist, his eyes piercing right through yours in the mirror, making you flustered, wanting to look away but he doesn't let you.

His thrusts were speeding up, one of his hands lowered and went over to your clit, rubbing it. "Haah... Kennn-"

"Shit... come with me baby" With a loud moan you came, him not long after you, spilling his cum inside of you.

Both of you were panting, as he pulled out you could feel his cum spilling out of you, making you shudder at the sensation.

"You did so good love, come on let's get you dried up."

[viixenvi]

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐞 𝐠𝐨 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

Summary: Natasha Romanoff is your bodyguard. Recently hired to be by your side everywhere you go. Your father, the president, deemed her the perfect bodyguard for you. Apparently, she's known for getting her job done and has never once had an incident. You make it your mission to be unbearable so she can back off and you can have fun. Until one day, you get too frustrated and Natasha can't help but be there for you.

Characters: Bodyguard!Natasha x First daughter!fem!reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, nicknames (Милая=darling), cuddling, kissing, reader being overly sexual (in the beginning)

A/N: First daughter x bodyguard is something I've been wanting to write!! As always forgive me for any mistakes this was not proofread!

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐃𝐍𝐈

You sit on the counter of the kitchen. The white house has many places you love, but the kitchen might just be your favorite. You lick the spoon as you look at Natasha. She is standing across from you by the door. There are two other agents outside the room.

Natasha watches you intently, her eyes on your lips. She doesn't hide her hard stare. Natasha was professional, but you made it extra hard. You made it your mission to break her. You hoped if you did it then your father would lessen the security he had with you constantly.

"This is so good, you want some?" You pull the spoon out of your mouth and extend your hand toward Natasha. She just shakes her head and averts her gaze.

You sigh and jump off the counter, making sure she can see your boobs bounce when your feet hit the cold floor. Natasha follows behind you, keeping a slight distance.

All you can hear is her footsteps behind you as you walk toward your bedroom. There are two guards stationed across the hall either way. Natasha stops and takes her post in front of your bedroom. You giggle to yourself as You realize you have the perfect plan for her to crack.

When you get into your bedroom, you rush to the closet and pull off your shirt. Your pink bra and shorts are all you have on now. You reach to unclip your bra but purposefully pretend you can't reach it.

"Natasha!" You call out, she comes into the room with her hand at her belt where her gun is. When she sees you she immediately looks around to not look at your body.

"Yes, Y/n?" She questions. You turn and point to your bra clip.

"Can you help, I'm stuck," You whine slightly, hoping it's believable. Natasha walks to you slowly, you can feel her eyes burning into the skin on your back.

She had never seen you undressed before. Sure she's seen her fair share of your scandalous clothes, but never anything like this.

Her warm breath hits your neck as her fingers graze your back. You can feel a shiver go down your spine. She quickly unhooks your bra and turns around to give you privacy.

"Thanks, Natasha," You say in a whisper, you throw the bra to her feet and pull your shorts off slowly. You know she can see you through the mirror on her right.

Natasha takes a deep breath and tries to look away, but she can't stop from trying to see every inch of your skin. She was a professional, but you made it so damn hard for it to stay that way.

"If there is nothing else Y/n?" Natasha's voice is low. She goes to walk away but your hands on her arm make her stop.

"Help me pick out pajamas," you stop yourself from moving your hands any lower. You didn't really realize it, but at some point, this dumb mission stopped being pretend.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry if I'm out of line, but this is extremely unprofessional and I must say no to your request." Natasha's tone makes you step back.

"Oh. Sorry. You can go." You turn around and grab your robe off the couch. Natasha walks out of the room and shuts the door behind her. You stand in front of the mirror and look down at the bra sitting on the floor.

You didn't like the way you listened to her. Natasha had to go, it didn't matter what she felt. Right?

You sigh and walk to your bed, pulling the covers up and slipping under them. You open your laptop and put on a random video. You weren't even watching it, you just needed some background sound.

You pulled out your makeup, you had a person to do it but you had been practicing. Eyeliner was the one thing you couldn't get right. Your hands always shook and it was hard to get it right.

You held the liquid eyeliner pencil in your hand and got close to the mirror you used to do your eyebrows. The tip of the pencil was slightly dried out from all the times you used it. You press down and it messes up the line, making it chunky and messy. You wipe it off and keep trying.

After your sixth attempt, you finally get frustrated enough to throw the eyeliner pencil across the room. You let out a frustrated groan before you hear the door opening.

Natasha is standing at the door, looking down at the eyeliner and then back at you. You are crying a little from not being able to get it right and you know the eyeliner on your face is messy and streaking down your cheeks.

"Get out! Why do you never leave me the fuck alone?" You shout at Natasha. She doesn't deserve it but you need someone to get your frustrations out on.

Natasha raises her eyebrow and picks up the pencil off the floor. She shuts the door behind her and locks it, which you don't notice. You turn your head away from the direction she's coming from. You feel embarrassed she has to see you like this but that doesn't stop you from crying.

These tears weren't just from not being able to do eyeliner. You were frustrated because you realized that somewhere along the way, you caught feelings for Natasha. Everything you did may have just made her want to leave and that was not what you wanted anymore.

Natasha stands next to you, one hand reaching for your chin and moving your head to face her. You can't help but look up at her through your lashes. There is a smile on her face and she takes a seat on your vanity's stool.

You look at her face, she is stunningly beautiful and her red hair makes it better.

"What's wrong Милая?" she asks as she grabs a makeup wipe and holds your chin so you don't move. (darling)

"Nothing," you whisper while she wipes the eyeliner off. You feel her warm breaths again and you love it. Her hands are so soft and you hate the way you can't stop looking at her lips.

You had spent weeks trying to get her to quit and now you sat here wishing she'd never leave.

"It had to have been something, no?"

"I'm sorry." You look down, pulling away from her grasp on your chin. You can't let her touch you like this if you want her to stay.

"Sorry? about what?" Natasha looks at you, confused.

"I've been making your time here as bad as possible just so you could quit and Dad would let me have less security," you explain. Natasha smiles as if she finds it amusing.

"I know," is all she says as she gets up and starts to walk away. You get up and grab her wrist. She turns around and looks at you.

"What do you mean you knew? How di-" You are cut off by Natasha pushing her lips onto yours. You didn't move for a few seconds, afraid if you did then this would all be a dream.

Then her hands are on your waist, pulling you closer and you finally kiss her back. Her lips were as soft as you had thought and that same shiver went down your spine again.

Natasha pulls away first, letting you get air. You stand there frozen for a moment. Natasha had kissed you and you kissed her back.

"God, I've been waiting to do that since I got here," Natasha shrugs, chuckling a bit at your reaction. Her hands find their way to your waist again as she spins you and sits on the bed. She pulls you onto her lap and you feel your face start to go red.

"Natasha, what about your job?" You question, suddenly remembering that she works for your father.

"I don't care about my job, as long as I can finally have you." Natasha kisses your lips then your cheek and then your neck. You push her away playfully and she lays you on your bed. You close your laptop and Natasha climbs in rich next to you.

You yawn and look at the time on your alarm clock. It's way past the time you'd normally go to bed and Natasha knew that.

"Go to sleep Милая, I'll stay here till you do." She wraps her arms around you, the blanket over the both of you. You close your eyes and move your head closer to her chest. She smells so good and you inhale the scent as you relax in her arms.

"Goodnight Милая," Natasha whispers in your ear, her left hand running through your hair to make you sleep faster.

[babyjakes]

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | kinkmas 2023

prompt | fucking machine

pairing | porn director!ari levinson x pornstar!reader

warnings | reader is an amateur pornstar, ari is her beloved director. emphasis on safe/consensual sex practices (safe word mention.) mild dom!ari vibes. foreplay: nipple and clit play. fucking machine. spitting. orgasm permission + she comes :D

word count | 1,049

thinking about porn director!ari helping you, his favorite little star, take the machine for the first time 🥺 maybe you're fairly new to the line of work and you've only done tamer shoots so far. this is your first taste of intenser porn elements; you're just trying it out with ari before going through a proper shoot with cameras and everything because you're not sure how you'll take it or if you'll like it

ari is super protective of you and wants to make sure you're safe throughout the entire process. he insists it's just you and him because he doesn't want any outside pressure or elements potentially making it hard for you to advocate for yourself or ask to stop if you need to. you trust him so much, he's been so wonderful to you and you feel so much safer knowing it'll be just you and him in the studio 💕

he gets everything ready before you arrive, arranging a comfy leather chaise for you to lay on and setting up the machine/testing out to make sure it works. he gets lube, a few different toys in case you'll want them, and clean up/aftercare stuff all set out as well. he told you to wear whatever you want, whatever's comfy. when you arrive in a simple t-shirt and sweatpants, he thinks you look so adorable and perfect just the way you are 🥺

he sits with you for a little while beforehand, talking you through everything that'll happen so you understand the machine and there'll be no surprises. he makes you feel so safe and supported, reminding you several times that you can stop at any time, making sure you remember the safe word, etc. he's smiling so big at you when you nod to let him know you're reading, "i'm so proud of you, sweetheart. i promise we'll make it feel good. and if you need anything, you just let me know. that's my job, i'm here to make things easy and comfortable for you"

he has the machine close enough so he can sit on the edge of the chaise there with you and adjust it as necessary. when you're ready, he lets you undress and lay back. he just has such a way of making you feel so secure around him, he's smiling so sweetly at you as he takes some time to rub your thighs, easing your legs open as you relax for him. he takes plenty of time loving on you the ways he knows you love best, gently playing with your nipples before moving down to rub your clit a little bit

"there we go. just relax for me, angel," he's coaxing you as you grow warm and wet beneath his fingers. "gotta get you nice and ready, princess. that feel good, right there? you can tell me what you need, honey. i'll take care of you." once you're adequately warmed up, he pulls away and preps the silicon attachment with lube anyway, just to prevent any friction or discomfort. "you ready, sweetheart? just remember your word, okay? the moment you say, we stop." your enthusiastic nod and gentle smile convince him you're ready

"okay baby, here we go. gonna ease it in," he explains as he gently extends the rod up to press the tip of the dildo against your leaky hole. "bit of a stretch here, deep breaths," he talks you through it as the rubber object is slowly but steadily worked up into you. "good girl, almost there," he hums as he reaches a good stopping point, making sure the thrusts won't push in too far or hit your cervix painfully

rubbing your inner thigh soothingly, asking, "you ready for me to turn it on, princess? we'll start slow, but it'll be intense. you just let me know if you need something on your clit- sometimes that helps with the pressure"

he starts you out on the lowest setting, watching carefully to see how you react. your immediate soft moans and melting into the couch are good signs hehe 🫶 his face is beaming with pride as you lie back and let the machine fuck you, watching as your eyes roll back slightly and your legs tremble as they fall to either side

"g-god," you're groaning as you're pounding steadily, "you should've l-let me do this sooner"

he's chuckling as your words are distorted by the rhythm of the machine. "i needed to make sure you were ready, pretty girl. and look at you, you're taking it so well," he knows it drives you crazy when he talks to you like that, and it's working alright!!

"m-more," you're soon begging, "faster, p-please!"

he can't help but laugh lightheartedly a bit more at your enthusiasm and impatience, nodding as he bumps you up a bit in speed. you let out the sweetest, happiest sighs as the repeated pounding rocks the entire couch. wanting to make the experience as good as possible for you, he goes back to cupping your tit with one hand, patting lovingly over your swollen clit with the other. his added stimulation makes your body jerk and writhe weakly, broadening his proud smile

"go ahead, baby. take what you need. you want it faster?" he asks as he twists and tugs at your hardened nipple. your pleading nod prompts him to boost you up another few notches, the machine growing a bit noisier as you're now fucked a bit more forcefully. wiggling yourself down a bit, you dare to let the tip of the rubber cock hit up perfectly against your weak spot. the build-up to your orgasm seems to happen over the span of mere seconds, but ari sees it happening

"p-please, i'm gonna-" you're panting weakly as you teeter towards the edge. he knows you so well, he can somehow tell exactly what you need to get you there. he brings his hand up, spitting on his fingers before slapping them down over your clit, rubbing in furious circles

"go ahead, baby. you've been so good. you can go ahead and come," his permission is all it takes- you come right then and there on that massive rubber dick as it pounds you into oblivion, ari's skilled fingers carrying through the wonderful high 💕

[miikapie]

"Its not gonna fit!" with Geto, Choso, Toji and Gojo! (NSFW)

Just posting this because ive been thinking about writing it for weeks. Enjoy this tiny drabble while I stress over college!

Cw:.. fem!reader x various jjk men, they're mean :(( (toji, gojo too kinda..), choso being too sweet, cunilingus (choso), bad grammar ofcourse, SEX SMASHING INTERCOURSE BABY MAKING FUCKING MAKING LOVE i hope you get the point.

/MDNI//NSFW UNDER THE CUT!!

Gojo is so mean to you. If you say absolutely anything related to his size, or not being able to accommodate to his girth, hes seizing the opportunity to brag and belittle you while doing so.

"Awh baby.. it can't fit? hmm? Is my cock too big? Its okay, cutie, I know I know.. Maybe we just need to pay attention to your little clit, and we'll stretch you out too yeah? Im gonna make sure your little cunt remembers every single one of my veins no matter how long it takes to get in aallllll the way."

Geto (sighs dreamily) I LOVE THIS MAN. Totally much nicer than Gojo, but unintentionally mind-breaks you. His voice btw is so sexy can you imagine how husky it is duirng the deed??? drooling rn.

"Oh, what was that? It wont fit, hm? Thats okay, love. We'll find our way around it. Just gotta stretch you out some more so i can hit that spot you love so much, mhm? Right there isnt it? Yeah, I can tell with the way you're tightening around me. Or what about this? Maybe I'll touch your clit a little more. God... I love seeing you like this. Thats a good girl.. lay down juuust like that. You dont need to think for yourself anymore when I've got you."

Toji is SO mean, and incredibly cocky. Despite knowing damn well he's way too big to bottom out immediately in you, he takes this opportunity be snarky fun of you while destroying your insides.

" 's too big? We'll make it fit, doll. Stop moving like that, you know its just gonna hurt more. Give it a few minutes and you'll be crying like a bitch in heat. Fine. I'll be nice i guess, but im still going all the way in. 's not my fault your pussy's too damn tight. Fuck.. so good.. Yeah, see? Told you you could take it, wipe those tears 'fa me and keep your legs up here on my shoulders, yeah?"

Nanami... ah. He tries so so hard to be nice to you, by slowly bullying his way in your walls, but no matter how many times you do the deed it seems like you can never keep up with his size

"Too much, honey? Its okay, sweetheart. Look, I'll put a pillow just under your back here.. and it'll make you feel much better. Whats that? Feels nicer now? Ill take it slow as always honey, just take your deep breaths... God.. you're always so tight... It feels nice when I touch you right here doesn't it?..Feels deeper? Yes, love, thats the pillow under your back helping you relax. We're gonna have to use that trick next time wont we? Thats it, sweet thing, see? Im almost bottomed out and you haven't even noticed at all."

Choso is too much of a sensitive lover to even think about ever possibly pushing your boundaries. If he ever heard you say anything along the lines of 'too big' he'd pull out immediately and instead eat you out as an apology. (even though you've told him its just something you said in the heat of the moment) (he still leaves you shaking tho.)

[rivangel]

i found an olddd 6k h/c fic i wrote kind of related to this subject, i wonder if i should post it :sss

i'm 99% certain no tws are needed because nothing is directly implied/referenced, but if i do, let me know :) —

➥ pairing: Captain!Levi x fem!taller!Scout!reader

➥ c/w: canonverse | emphasis on vanilla | comfort | praise | oral (f!receiving) | Levi is easy | handjob | Levi gets pussydrunk (typical) | multiple orgasms | enthusiastic consent | pron with a crumb of plot? | virgin!Levi | fingering

➥ wc: 2.9k

disclaimer: no one's healing is linear, and no one's goals for recovery have to be exactly the same. please don't take this as anything more than a fan-fictional fantasy scenario.

"What's wrong?"

His cheeks still warm from kissing, Levi seems to read your expression better than you can read your own feelings. You're close enough for your legs to be tangled together, laying in the center of your comfy bed instead of on your own sides, but he feels so much closer to you in this moment.

Under covers, he'd pulled away somewhat reluctantly after you helped pull off his shirt, complaining it was hot.

Maybe he's wondering about the covers, and why he hadn't pinpointed that as the way to rectify the heat. Or why you didn't.

"...Nothing," he replies.

Despite that non-answer, you get the sense he's being surprisingly candid.

You lean in again at almost the exact same time.

"Now what?"

"Now what...?" you echo.

"Fuck, what..." He's choosing his words carefully, looking away.

He's still considering when you figure out that he doesn't know what to say because he's doesn't know what to do. And if he did, all that'd change is success at constructing his question.

"It's not a big deal." You end up brushing your nose against his to gaze into his eyes.

You're telling him that, and you're telling yourself.

"Um, can I just kiss you?—Okay?"

He tilts his head and kisses you in reply. As if you hadn't stopped at all, you press deep into the smoldering softness of his lips and skin, hungry for an ambrosia only Levi can give you. It's all you want, sometimes, dangerously so—all you want is to be as intertwined with Levi as possible. Until there's no difference between you and him.

You turn away from that fact.

You're unerringly grateful for how mindful he always, always is with what you've been through. There was a period of time when he held you as if you'd break into pieces if he made the slightest off-move, but you're well-past even that. You're putty in his hands as he licks hungrily at your tongue, fist tight on the thick plush of your sweatshirt. You even hear a soft noise escape him. You notice him shifting open his legs, too.

You hum softly as you take his hand further down your hip, nostrils flaring. The heat of his skin and the solid muscle just beneath his middle is almost too overwhelming.

You see the potential in his softness all up and down his chest and back that's otherwise interwoven with strength, and with scars. Without looking, the harsh indents from the ODM gear are still paths you can follow.

He's deeply receptive to everything. Desire is burning away your doubt like a flame consuming a dense note. Giving fuel to it, you breathe his air into your lungs.

With a push of urgency, you start tugging off your shorts. You get it done much faster together.

You're breathing hard, narrowly separating at some point. He mumbles something tight you can't hear into the hot cove between your shoulder and neck, but he must need something bad by the firm hold he has on your hip.

"You don't need to be shy," you ease, and he huffs like you just inflicted a physical blow on him. "Hey. Show me... Show me what you want."

He saddles up closer to you, smacking your neck with kisses and finally hitching your leg up and pulling you against him. You gasp as it finally hits you, how painfully fucking hard he is—you feel him through his boxers against your thigh, heat pounding where his thighs meet.

"Oh, oh?"

He whispers your name.

You close your hand on the nape of his neck as you slide your thigh in between his legs, and firmly rub him.

He buries his mouth into your neck when he moans, thick from the depths of his chest, almost like that's it for him. It sends a shiver through you as you blindly guide his hand down more, till he takes a full squeeze of your ass.

He starts to speed up right away.

Levi's neediness is nothing like you expected. You actually have him stop.

Once, through drunken eyes, he sees that you don't have a complaint, he follows along with your move like you're one body.

The cool air is actually a mercy coming out from under the covers.

You sit up, making you separate briefly for him to half-crawl into your lap. It looks almost ridiculous to keep his underwear on, but his hand soon lands on yours, hooked in the waistband, so you go back to touching him like before

He's buried in your lap, his strong thighs snug outside your flanks. With your height. You have the perfect view, staring blatantly at Levi's densely toned stomach and chest. It's a shame he dresses to cover himself up so much, but you feel even more special to see him like this, and touch him, and kiss him, and just—Your hands come up from below, eagerly rubbing his pecs with your palms.

"Off..." he grunts, almost slurring the lone word. "I'll kick you if you keep teasing me."

You chuckle at the threat outright as you bring your hand up his thigh.

His cock peaks at the air as soon as it's freed. It seems like just your hand being close to it has him tensing in anticipation. It's heavy, veins bulging on his thick shaft, and bright red, raw. Sticky strings of precum make it look like you rubbed him in oil already.

You're fighting squirming at the sight—or something equally as impulsive that you're both perhaps not ready for.

"Ah, so pretty... Can I call you pretty?"

"Not in English."

You laugh again. "Can I touch you, Pretty?"

Levi's hips shift, an answer in of itself, to which you shakily say into a fresh mark on his neck, "I'll make you feel really really good, okay? Tell me to stop if it's too much."

He shudders on the first stroke in which you take him in an exceptionally loose fist. He's so fucking sensitive—still, by the urgency with which he rocks into your pumps and leans against you, it heats up quickly. He puts his arm over his shoulder and messes his bangs in the process to lace his fingers in your hair.

Remembering his objection earlier, you focus on his nipples with your free hand until they're pointed and hard, and his ab muscles are visibly tensing.

"Wait—that's..."

You stop, his cock twitched and throbbing, which seems painful by the slight hiss of air through his teeth. "Too much?"

...He takes your hand and wraps it around him again, more insistent this time. "No, touch me, keep doing me l-like that."

Your teeth hook in your bottom lip to stifle a noise as you trace the veins with your thumb and stroke his slit with a decisive middle finger, and his hips jump forward. He makes himself pant and whine with this shaky rocking.

Surprisingly, he asks with these glittering eyes, "Is-Is it... okay?"

You'd forgotten your initial discomfort a while ago—it doesn't register at first why he'd ask that. And you hear how ready he is now with every stroke. Why does he?

"Mm?"

He shuts his eyes tight, shivering. He whines, louder than you've ever heard, when you speed up—you fail to help yourself too.

That's when what he meant strikes you. A surge of confidence brightens your mind. Clueless, he's asking your permission.

You sink into this role as though into hot, relaxing water, tonguing the back of his ear and neck. "Need t'cum? Do you wanna cum in my hand?"

"I'm close"—tensing, he grips your other wrist tighter, as it's working his balls—"I'm so fucking close, I'm—"

"Yeah—yeah, there you go. Let it go for me, I've got you, baby, cum for me."

All his movements, even shivers, stutter to a sudden halt, scarcely even panting for a second. Then the most excruciating moan drips from his mouth. His lips part and close to form a near-silent shout of your name before his grip jumps to your bicep, squeezing hard as his overcome cock works. A gentle thrust is all he seems to need to moan through the peak of it before his shivers intensify, coming in waves with each eager streak of cum his throbbing cock spills across your knuckles, painting his hard stomach muscles. He groans shakily for every second spent in bliss, then shudders after the fading waves.

His weight collapses into you before he seems to think other of it, but he sits up again quickly.

You're breathing hard, in a daze from what just happened. It's astounding—how tantalizing it felt to hold Levi in your arms and talk him through an orgasm like that, and to get so many sounds you'd never heard him make...

And that's precisely why your first conclusion is you're hesitant to keep going.

Your arms loosely wrap around him, and to your delight, he turns all loose and pliant.

You get the mental sense he's still keeping you somewhat at length, though; he's holding your arm again. But you appreciate his honesty with that.

You concentrate on the blissfulness of his breathing slowing, and his shoulders relaxing rather than the frustration rife inside your body.

"Disgusting." Rather than look at himself, he turns his head, his temple brushing your blazing cheek, and your shared sweat bleeding together.

"Not."

His expression contorts in a scowl. "You're such a brat."

His soft lips press to the side of your mouth—also wet, with your breaths steamy. You put in some lazy effort, just appreciating the feel of his skin and the touch of his lashes.

Eventually, you gather the wits to crack open your eyes—meeting his lidded ones—and properly meet his lips.

Mindlessly. You're so turned on, but you don't want to move. It's not that you don't want to—you want to too much. And what if he doesn't want to?—

Maybe that's a dumb question, but logic won't toss these feelings. This sense that you're going to mess up somehow. Worse than anything, you feel so guilty for the tiny prick of irrational fear that encourages you to be wary.

You stop thinking when he pulls away—just enough to stop—and you're entranced by his looks all over again. His eyes are as blue as dusk at the moment, contrasting beautiful and bright against his blushing cheeks, and intertwined beautifully with his tender look. They search yours demurely.

"You're so beautiful," you blurt out in a whisper.

His expression scrunches like he just tasted a lemon. He doesn't say anything to that, merely pecking the side of your lips, then the thick bone where your jaw divides your throat. As you wrap your arms around him, he cups your cheek.

He doesn't so much as brush your waist until you bring his hand up under your sweatshirt there, and he sighs blissed through his nose, hot against your neck. He’s so heavy and warm against you.

You squirm in place, leaning into his touch and his mouth, craving but not quite sure how to satisfy it.

"You have to talk to me," he eventually stops kissing your neck to whisper. "Do you want something...?"

Possibilities of an answer makes white-hot anticipation flare inside you. Same down lower as he makes his first forward move and his little finger innocently slips under the thin elastic, your panties—fleeting.

"Do you need something?" he murmurs, suggestion thick in the words. "If not, it can end here."

Finally, at that, you shake your head swiftly. All your emotions swirl in a mess inside you, but that is ironclad.

His breath shakes—your breath shakes—before you lower your head to capture his lips again, deep and purposeful like earlier.

You leave one of his hands on your thigh, and card your fingers through his hair to have him go down. Despite the eagerness in your shared pace, every kiss from his lips feels doting, like giving anything less than everything he has is unnatural.

You keep your shirt on, but he's still slow to rest his stance, kissing up your knee as you get comfortable. He takes a long, slow breath as his lips brush up your inner thigh, hardly doing much, but still making your breathing labored.

It lights fiercer of a fire in your to watch him nip and lick at your inner thighs, darting between with his eyes mostly shut—than to focus on the feeling.

"Levi," you sigh, with a twinge of a whine. The fabric of your panties delivers the most faintest of friction, which is worse than if they were off. You've taken to fidgeting—fidgeting with his soft hair, and with your hips. "K-Keep going."

You assumed he'd enjoy teasing you like earlier, but no. He's still mostly kissing, so you get half of his erotic gaze that makes you blank on the spot, and that's the way he stays as delicately pushes your panties to the side. He holds it in place with his long fingers, and lowers his eyes with the blush across his cheeks deepening red, trying to assess how to continue.

Again you take his hand, so your fingers are loosely linked as you lightly rub your clit. You surprise yourself by moaning, shakily spreading wider too.

"So it’s like that, huh.”

"Please—..."

He dots his thumb on his tongue before you show him—taking his wrist—that you want him more than just your clit. He huffs.

“Like this?”

The sweeping touch by his calloused thumb feels more amazing than you ever could’ve conceived of.

“Yes.”

“I can tell. Yeah…” he muses to himself, quietly. “That’s a good girl.”

You moan. If you glance, you’d him chewing on the inside of his cheek, nostrils flaring with deep breaths.

His breath hot close to your clit, he stays like that, gradually increasing in pressure and speed until you moan his name, loudly, then stopping, just before utter release could reach you.

A pleasant fog grows around your mind and your acknowledgment that Levi is happily doing this with you—not to you, but with you.

"Levi—! Oh...!"

On your own, you tend find it difficult to grasp at climax—which had been nestled with your other worries…—but your astonishment is palpable now. How you’ve felt so close you could cry, so much now, and all he’s really done is play with your clit.

It’s getting unbearable. Embarrassment roils in you as yet another touch of warmth drips from your pussy, leaving a growing grey spot on the bedspread. Frantically, you run your fingers through his hair.

“‘Vi please!”

He hums under his breath at the nickname. You can’t even recall how much you’ve been begging.

Finally, you pry open your lidded eyes, watching as he first delicately presses his lips to your clit, which becomes two, and then three. Still taking you slowly.

“Levi, please. Please, please—more. That feels—you feel—...”

He kisses you again, but this time leaves his lips there and suddenly presses you with the heat of his heavy tongue, then raises his gaze to your eyes. “Mhm?”

You cum on the spot—you gasp like it’s the last breath you can take and shove your heels into the mattress as you cum harder than you ever have in your life. Your hips push gratefully against his—hot, wet, soft moaning mouth now making a perfect seal around your clit, creating suction you weren’t at all prepared for. You grope with your fingers, down, pushing two into your cunt and you’re on cloud nine again. You’re practically crying as you writhe in the sheets. Curiously too, your walls pulse tightly around your fingers, making thrusting unbearable without keening into your elbow and whimpering Levi's name for something familiar. It feels like your entire body shakes, on and on.

You're panting hard when you finally collapse, the muscles in your thighs angry and a new sense of wetness messing the bedspread below your spent pussy. Your rocking grows less pointed, and you start whimpering from the light volts of overstimulation. Your thighs are shaking so bad, Levi’s biceps push on your flanks, keeping you steady through these ecstatic weakening pulses.

Of course he isn’t so out of breath. What you can see are his eyes closed in rapt concentration as his tongue drags through your soaked pussy, making muffled sounds of satisfaction all the while. You feel it brush the gaps between your fingers every time he goes down, making you wonder just how his cock would feel so close to your hole. Harder and firmer, for sure—

Your teeth sink hard into your bottom lip. His hips keep shifting, you notice, now that he’s rubbing faster. A shudder rushes through your thighs each time his tongue flatly drags up your clit.

“A-Are you close…?” you moan.

It almost doesn’t sound like him because of how high-pitched it is. “Ah…”

You shakily push a third inside and groan. You fuck yourself deep and firm, feeling yourself the most you can getting tighter.

Levi’s hold subtly tightens as all his attention pours back into licking and tonguing your clit, all he can focus on. Somehow, you feel his approaching climax almost as vividly as though it was your own, between his fingertips digging into the soft flesh of your thighs, and his growing whines, the wrinkle between his brow hard.

His mouth briefly lifts off your pussy to gasp, still connected by a string of either cum or spit or both. He’s frozen like that for a second, his lips gaping, culminating in a resounding, trembling moan before feverishly resuming right where he’d stopped, just now grunting and rutting his hips hard against the bed. You don’t hold on even until then, crying out like some primal song.

Before completely easing, he helps himself to one more lick.

| more Levi |

feedback/a reblog is appreciated :)

[pintrestgrl]

you said angst so... jj x kook!reader JJs starts pushing pogues and reader away and when reader tries to get through to JJ, he says awful things to reader hitting her/them below the belt by bringing up her trauma and the fact she/they are a kook. maybe she completly ices him and the pogues out(bc the pogues forgave him) and start hanging out with kooks. maybe the topper/rafe/kelce trio to really drive home she doesn't care about them anymore. maybe she's even there when pope and jj get beat up? IDK i thought this up off the top of my head. i don't reader crying in the shower heartbreaking sob fest angst. also i left what her supposed trauma up to you bc i don't know how far you're willing to go with that.

-💐

okay i lied. i’m doing this one bc it intrigued me.. lol. but also hi 💐 anon !! ur not overwhelming me i love all the asks, it’s just a matter of energy lol. but love u !!

also prepare for this to be lengthy due to the thick plot, lol

i actually am proud of this and how i wrote it, i rlly like it 🥹.

i will get out more posts today, likely 2-3. 4 if i get drink an alani lmao.

mean!jj x sensitive!kook!reader.

you had always known jj, due to the small size of the island. however, you just started getting closer with him the past few weeks.

you had always seen into him more then others did, even from afar.

you noticed the bruises on his cheeks, and how they’d fade over the next few days. you noticed when he’d gotten a haircut, likely from john b. you didn’t know why, but you found him interesting.

you probably shouldn’t have, considering your brother — rafe, absolutely hated him. he was a bad kid, you always saw him getting arrested with the rest of the pogues.

the reason you two started getting closer, was due to a drunken hookup you had a misunderstanding on. clearly, he looked at it as any other girl he would hook up with, no feelings and not a thought about it again.

you however, looked at it way different. you really genuinely liked him, truly. you didn’t care about any of the bad rumors about him, you didn’t see him as just the bad. you saw the good too.

a few days ago, you went to the chateau to see jj. you hadn’t talked to him since the hookup, expect for minor greetings. you wanted to get to know him more. understand him, fully and completely.

it’s safe to say it didn’t go well. you sat him down, explaining how you really did like him. he listened at first, but as soon as you started trying to open him up, he immediately tensed.

you asked him about how come he always has those bruises on him, and where they’re from. he stood up immediately, scoffing at your attempt.

“you’re fuckin’ serious? you just came here to make fun of me?”

you shook your head quickly at his misunderstanding, explaining how that’s not what you meant at all.

“y’know, it’s not shit you would understand at all. you’re too much of a dumb pretty little ‘kook princess’ with no thoughts in her head to figure it out.”

you swallowed at his harsh words, tears filling your eyes. you opened your mouth to speak, but he just kept spewing more words out.

“ever think that’s why i didn’t talk to you after we hooked up? because we couldn’t ever be anything. i could never be with somebody like you.”

tears fell from your eyes at his words, trying to take deep breaths. you attempted to speak again, before he interrupted you.

“just save it, okay? go back to figure 8 where you belong.”

you let more tears fall, listening to him and gathering your stuff and leaving the chateau.

you walked home with tears down your face the whole time, thoughts stirring. was that really all he thought about you? just a kook who never had to worry about anything?

your tears eventually faded, feelings going numb from exhaustion.

when you got home, you pushed your way past your family, going upstairs to shower.

when you got in, you immediately broke down again. tears filling your eyes and streaming down your face.

you wanted jj to like you, you really did. but if he really had those thoughts of you, you needed to let him go. you couldn’t go on thinking about him, worrying, if your feelings weren’t reciprocated.

over the next few days, you left jj and every pogue alone. you noticed him around, though. you didn’t see the pogues around him, either. it seemed like he was avoiding them, just like you were avoiding him. he looked almost upset, everywhere he went too.

after a while, he got over whatever little mood he was in and you saw him laughing, running around with his friends again.

you however, were not over it. his words really hurt, and you couldn’t get them out of your head. but you knew you needed to give him the same treatment back.

so you decided to start hanging out with your friends too. you started going to the boneyard with topper, kelce, and rafe. you knew jj hated them, but you couldn’t bring yourself to show any care if you weren’t receiving any.

you left him alone for a while after that, silently thinking and worrying about him in your head instead.

you opted for watching from afar, both of you making awkward eye contact at times.

you still wondered where those bruises came from, and if you would ever know at all.

[measuredingold]

caught between black and white

authors note: hello hello hello ! long awaited part two of you right and i know this probably isn’t what you guys were wanting but i wanted noah’s pov to kind of explain why things happened the way they did so… stay with me 👀 part three everything will come together. title from alkaline by sleep token. as always enjoy and feedback is always appreciated :)

pairing: noah sebastian x reader

divider: @saradika-graphics 🖤

cross posted on ao3 / part one

word count: 3.5k

cw/tw: swearing, arguing, Noah Sebastian Is Bad At Feelings lol, 18+ minors do not interact

Noah's not sure how he got here. Well, okay. Backtrack - he knows how he got here with you, and knows why you're looking at him like you want to fucking smack the shit out of him. What he means is here, right now, in this kitchen. He wasn't expecting to see you, especially after not hearing from you in the last three months. He expected you to keep far from him.

You had to have known he was going to be here tonight? This party - get together, whatever - was literally for him and the guys for completing yet another tour. He had a feeling you hated him, and he doesn't blame you. So, why were you here?

He had just turned away from the fridge to get himself another water when he found you standing across from him, face pulled into a scowl and eyes narrowed in a glare. He jumps a little at the sudden sight of you, eyes widening.

He says your name gently, "Hey."

"Shut up, Noah."

Right. Got it. You're pissed at him. He presses his lips together and nods his head, fingers tightening around the bottle of water in his hands. You shift on your feet, pulling your drink close to your chest. From the flush in your cheeks and you fucking speaking to him in the first time in three months, he's going to assume you've already had a few of those.

"I didn't want to come tonight." You pause, as if you're wanting him to respond, but continue before he could even think of speaking, "I didn't want to see you."

“…Okay."

"Do you know why I didn't want to see you?"

He does know. He knows exactly why you don't want to see him, knows why you haven't texted him in almost three months. He expected a long message of you cussing him out at the very least because he knew you'd never call him. Part of him wanted it, pathetically so, because it was a direct line to you. He still had some sort of connection, even if it was you pissed at him.

After a month of no contact Noah found himself in a hotel room late one night, thumb hovering over the send button of his message asking if you could talk. About what, he wasn’t sure. He just wanted to hear from you, maybe even say he was sorry. His stomach drops the second he hits send, the usual blue text bubble turning green.

You had blocked him. Rightfully so - he deserved that.

"I do."

Your gaze is becoming almost too much and he looks anywhere but you, opting to look at the cabinets above your head. They've become very interesting in the last five seconds. A moment of silence passes, thirty seconds, a minute, and then his eyes drop back down to you.

You're still looking at him.

"What?" He doesn't mean for it to come out so harsh but it does, and his arms tighten around his chest when your eyes narrow at him.

"What?" You laugh, but nothing's funny. "That's all you have to say?"

"What do you think I should say?"

He's digging himself a hole and he's doing it on fucking purpose. He wants you to hate him. Needs you to hate him because if you do, walking away tonight won't be as painful. Your gaze hardens, eyes turning cold as you scoff at his words.

"You can't be fucking serious right now."

"I don't know what you want from me."

"You know what I fucking want," You stop to let out a frustrated sigh, eyes shutting to take a deep breath before continuing, "I want an I'm sorry. I want an I didn't mean to hurt you. I want a genuine fucking apology for your shitty ass behavior."

Noah wishes he could say them, wishes he could give you what you want because he so desperately does want to say that and more. But he can't. His mouth won't move. Instead he swallows those words down, blinking at you.

"But you won't. I know you won't." You laugh again, hands flying at your sides. "Because you never do. You never once fucking apologized for using me for your own gain-"

"You used me, too." Oh, so his mouth can move.

Your eyes narrow again. "I was fucking in love with you, Noah. You knew I’d never tell you no.”

Noah blinks. He wasn't expecting that.

Your easy confession has his stomach twisting, heart dropping, and he feels his body heating up. His neck is probably red at this point. You were in love with him? Sure, he expected there were some type of feelings there for him, but love? There's no way he heard that right.

It's always been so hard for him to even admit to anyone how he felt, no matter the circumstances. He never understood how it came so easy for others. Feelings were so complicated, they made things confusing and it always comes with a price. The price being that someone will eventually get hurt, and that someone is usually him. The thought of letting someone in, letting them through the cracks between the walls he built around himself, makes him sick to his fucking stomach.

What good is it to let you in when you'll eventually leave?

No matter what he felt for you, no matter how much he just wanted to fucking say it back, Noah couldn't. He'd never allow himself to say it so freely, so openly, because he knew what would happen. You would leave. You'd realize he was too... difficult. Too much baggage to handle and realize it wasn't worth it, and he'd have to fix those walls you brought down.

He couldn’t let himself be so vulnerable.

This was easier, for both you and him. Keeping you close enough so he can have you like this, in the way he so desperately wanted, but far enough that you didn't have to see the real him.

"You don't love me." The words fall from him easily, head shaking.

"Don't play dumb, Noah." You laugh again, a pitiful fucking sound and he frowns. "You know it’s true. I wouldn't have stayed this fucking long if I hadn't."

"You don't-"

"No." He shuts up immediately at your tone, lips pressing together. You're pointing at him, eyes back in their narrowed glare. "You don't get to tell me how I feel. You actually don't get to fucking speak, okay? You've done enough."

With widen eyes, all Noah can do is nod. He swallows down the lump in his throat as he watches you let out a long, dejected sigh. You pinch the bridge of your nose, eyes fluttering shut briefly.

"I'm done," You start, and Noah does everything in his power to ignore the wobble in your voice, "doing this with you. I can't do it anymore. I'm done letting... letting someone who doesn't give two shits walk all over me. Use me when it's convenient." His gaze drops to the floor when he notices you lift a hand to wipe at your eyes. "You never fucking cared about me."

He so desperately wants to tell you that that wasn't true, that he did. He damn near felt the same about you, but instead of voicing that he kept his mouth shut and didn't speak like you had asked.

"I just feel so fucking stupid because I never really thought there would ever be a chance. I wasn't naïve. But last time, when you said," Another shaky breath comes from you and Noah's chest tightens at the sound, "when you said you fucking missed me. That all I needed was you. It felt... different. I thought that you..."

He winces at the laugh you let out this time, each one sounding more and more heartbreaking than the last. He used to love your laugh, how full of life it had sounded, but right now he fucking hates it.

"Obviously I thought wrong. You left me. Without a fucking goodbye."

Noah doesn't know why he looks up, because the ground beneath his feet is pretty interesting at the moment, but he does. He wishes he hadn't because you're rubbing at your eyes again but failing miserably, a few stray tears falling down your cheeks. He clears his throat before swallowing thickly, blinking away the sudden burning behind his eyes.

"I wanted to stay." He finally says, your eyes landing on him. They narrow again. "I almost did."

"Bullshit. You never stay."

"I know." A pause. "Doesn't mean I don't want to."

Your eyes soften for just a moment and you watch him in silence. Your gaze still burns before his eyes never waver from yours, trying to get across that he meant it. He could say so much more, the words on the tip of his tongue, but he remains silent instead. He still can't say it, so he hopes that's good enough.

"It's really hard to believe that."

Noah doesn't say anything, just nods because he knows it's hard. He fucking does and he wishes he could just say what he so desperately wants to. He mentally smacks himself because why is it so fucking hard? It shouldn't be. It should be easy, telling the person you want that you have feelings for them.

So, why does it feel like the hardest thing he's ever done?

"I know. You have no reason to believe me. I just..." He finally says, words trailing off and throat closing up again.

He can't finish his sentence, stomach twisting so violently he swears he's going to be sick at any given moment. Your eyes never move from him, watching him so intently he's certain you can see through him at this point. You eventually look away, scoffing to yourself.

"Why?"

His brows furrow. "Why what?"

"Why should I believe you?"

He stills. Why should you believe him? He's given you plenty of reasons not to, and given exactly zero on why you should.

"Um." His chest tightens, breathing picking up because he doesn't know what to say. I love you, too. But is that even enough now? "Because..."

His words trail off again and it's now growing harder and harder to even look at you. He looks down again, body heating up because the room is getting hotter - it's literally just him - and suddenly he wishes he could be anywhere else in the world but here.

You laugh again, much weaker. "If you can't even say it, how am I supposed to believe you?"

Noah presses his lips together and gives you a shrug in response, too afraid to even use his voice. The silence that follows has his skin crawling and every time he hears you sniffle across from him, he wishes the floor would just swallow him whole. He's screaming at himself in his head, chanting Tell her! Tell her! but he can't. He won't.

He's already made his decision.

"I meant what I said," your voice startles him, brown eyes looking up at you finally, "when I said I was done. I am. We can't keep doing this. I can't keep letting you hurt me. I deserve better."

His heart breaks at that because he knows you're right. You do deserve better. You've always deserved better than him. He couldn't give you what you wanted, no matter how hard he tried.

"You do."

"I do."

There's a finality in your voice, almost like the final nail in the coffin, and Noah knows this is it. You were actually done. You were walking away just like he expected, just like he wanted. This was for the best. He knew it. You finally knew it, too.

But why does it still hurt all the same?

"Everything good in here?"

Nicholas' voice has both you and Noah looking up in surprise, flushes on both of your cheeks. The older males clear eyes narrow as he looks between the two of you before his eyes remain solely on Noah. He swallows thickly, head nodding.

"Yeah."

"I was just leaving, actually." You manage to get out, clearing your throat to hide the way your voice wavered. Noah didn't miss it, and neither did Nicholas with the way his eyes narrow even further. You turn your focus to his best-friend and bandmate, mustering up the best smile that you could. "It was nice to see you again, Nick."

"You, too."

Noah's gaze meets yours and there's something in them, something he can't quite place. Longing? Regret? He doesn't know because it's gone as soon as it comes.

"Goodbye, Noah."

And then you're gone, not sparing him one more glance as you make your way out of the kitchen. Noah doesn't move, eyes trained to where you once stood. He doesn't even notice when Nicholas slides up next to him, leaning back against the counter just like him.

"What the fuck was that?"

"Nothing."

"Don't piss me off, dude."

"We were just talking." Noah sighs now, casting a glance at his friend. "That's it."

Nicholas pauses for a moment. "She ended it, didn't she?"

Of course he knew. Noah had told his friend the very second he and you started... whatever the fuck this was. He needed someone to know, someone he could trust. He's sure everyone else suspected it, especially when you two would sneak off together and come back maybe an hour later, clothes and hair disheveled from god knows what.

"Yeah." He nods. "She did."

"Sometimes I wish you'd just let yourself have nice things." Nicholas sighs out, tilting his head back.

"It's not that simple-"

"Do you or do you not have feelings for her?" Nicholas cuts him off and holds his gaze for a moment before Noah looks away, clearing his throat. "Yes or no answer, dude.”

"Why does that matter?"

"It always fucking matters."

"Who cares if I do?" He's growing frustrated now, wanting to talk about anything else but this. "It won't change the fact that she'll eventually fucking leave. She already did, man. I just saved her and I from wasting our time."

Nicholas doesn't respond right away and Noah looks back at him. He fucking hates the look his friend is giving him, soft eyes full of fucking pity because he knows. He knows why Noah acts the way that he does, which pisses him off even more.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Noah, I just want what's best for you-"

"What's best for me, Nick?" His anger only rises at this, face set in a scowl as he finally turns his body to face his bandmate. "Since you fucking know everything."

"Don't talk to me like that." Nicholas points an accusing finger towards Noah, face hardening and brows furrowing.

"And don't act like you know what's best for me." Noah snaps, lips dipping into a frown. "You and I both know this is what's best. She's better off, she doesn't need to deal with..." He motions towards himself, shoulders slumping. "...all of this."

Nicholas' face softens and his frown only deepens. "Noah..."

"And do I wish I could just fucking tell her? Sure, but that doesn't stop the voice in my head telling me she'll get up and leave like everyone else because it's too much." He leans back against the counter, arms crossing. The weight on his chest lightens only a bit at his confession, but the heaviness in his stomach remains. "Watching her leave now is easier."

"Is it?"

"Yeah."

Noah's eyes drop to his feet when he hears Nicholas shuffle around, standing in front of him. He feels his friends hand on his shoulder but doesn't bother looking up, his shoes becoming the most interesting thing to him.

"I wish you'd let yourself have nice things." Nicholas says again, fingers squeezing Noah's shoulder before his hand drops. "And I wish you'd stop thinking the absolute worst when it comes to people. How do you know she'll leave?"

"Everyone does."

"I haven't." Nicholas' response is quick. "Jolly hasn't. Neither has Folio."

"Yeah, but that's different-"

"No, it's not." Another sigh and Noah finally looks up at Nicholas, watching as the male pinches the bridge of his nose. "You can't keep living like this. In the what ifs, consumed by what could happen when you have no fucking clue if it actually will."

"But it will-"

Nicholas stops him again, holding a hand up. Noah's mouth shuts. "You don't know that. Just..." He sighs, tipping his head back to stare at the ceiling. "I know it's happened before and it's fucking terrifying, I know, but dude... there's no way that you know she'll leave."

"She just did."

"Because you made her."

Nicholas is staring at him again and Noah feels small under his gaze, which is crazy because he's a few inches taller than him. He knows he's not wrong, he did make her leave, but it was only to protect her and himself from the inevitable.

Right?

"I just want you to be happy. That's all I want." Noah watches Nicholas' gaze soften, a sad smile settling on his lips. "I think she could be the one to do that.

Noha's chest aches at his friend's words, sadness settling in his bones and suddenly he feels... He feels that Nicholas might be right. The feeling is brief though before he's shaking his head, arms crossing back over his chest as he finally pivots his gaze away from Nicholas.

"Well, it's too late for that."

There's a brief moment of silence before Nicholas says, "It doesn't have to be."

"Nick," He sighs, eyes fluttering shut. "It is too late. She's gone. Even if I wanted to fucking, I don't know, chase after her and tell her I'm sorry it won't change anything. She told me she was done."

"Well-"

"Can we just not talk about this anymore? It's done. It's over with. There's nothing else for me to do." Noah's eyes find his best friend again, pushing himself off the counter. "And I'm honestly ready to go. I'm fucking tired. I miss my bed."

He tries his best to ignore the lingering sadness swirling around his chest, shoving it so far back as he reaches for his forgotten water bottle. Nicholas continues to stay where he is, watching Noah with a sort of look he's never seen before. His own eyes narrow at his friend and there's maybe a thirty second stare-off before Nicholas' shoulders sag, a sigh leaving his lips.

"Whatever, man."

A small weight feels like it's been lifted from Noah's shoulder and he gives Nicholas a nod, thankful that he's finally dropped it. Nothing else could be done, Noah knows this. There's no point in dwelling on the what ifs, what's done is done. You're gone and you're far better off, he thinks, even if the thought does make his stomach twist painfully.

That pain will go away soon enough. It always does. He'll go back to his normal self, no more thoughts of you lingering in the back of his mind. He'll be fine. He always is.

Nicholas bids Noah a goodnight, watching as his friend trudges his way up the stairs. He waits until he hears his bedroom door shut before he's fishing out his phone, scrolling through his contact list before he finally comes across your name.

Is he meddling in someone else's business? Sure, but he feels like he needs to do this because he knows you and Noah won't, both way too stubborn for your own good. He has no idea if you'll reply anyways, but it's worth a shot.

Hey! It was really nice seeing you tonight.

He lets out the breath he had been holding when he presses send, watching as the message goes through. Below the blue text box shows that the message had been delivered, and he's glad to know that the only number you seemed to block was Noah's. He sits for a minute, then two, and after five he starts to think you won't answer until he hears a ding come from his phone.

Hi! You too. Sorry I dipped so quick. I had to get home.

He knows why you did, but doesn't bother mentioning it.

It's all good!

I was wondering if you'd like to meet up tomorrow, grab lunch? That little place on 5th that you like. My treat. Been a second since we've seen each other and we need to catch up. Got some crazy stories to tell you.

I think I'm free after 2 tomorrow if that's alright?

Perfectly fine with me, I don't have any plans lol I'll pick you up?

Do you mind if I just meet you there? I won't be home but I'll be nearby there.

Sounds good to me :)

Great! See you tomorrow.

Nicholas reacts to your message with a thumbs up and leaves it at that and he feels the tension in his shoulders finally relax.

He really fucking hopes this works.

[two-white-butterflies]

lover boy | c55

Description: Carlos is jealous when someone begins hitting on you.

Pairing: carlos sainz/lawyer!reader

"Are you seriously on twitter right now?" Lando scratched the back of his head, attempting to get a clear view of Carlos' phone. "It's important," he shrugged - seeing that John Mayer's comment about you. "Wait, is this about (Your Name)?" he asked, knowing about his friend's little crush on his co-worker.

Lando remembers you as a funny person, the type of girl who'd tell jokes but her laugh would be the funniest part. He could see how his friend fell in love with you. "You didn't hear it from me, but Taylor's ex has a crush on her too." he informed, taking a sip of his champagne.

"He looks desperate," Carlos was quick to insult, feeling the blood pump through his veins with fury. Wasn't this the guy that Lewis couldn't stop complaining about? Apparently, Shakira doesn't like the John Mayer man too. "Desperate until he's in her dm's," Lando glanced at his friend - seeing if anything changed in his features.

Bingo! Carlos was frowning.

"She wouldn't, no? She's a Taylor Swift fan. We're going to the Era's Tour together." he defended himself, still staring at your tweet. "Going to a concert with no label? Carlito - you have to make it fast or else you're gonna be in the friendzone forever." Lando continued teasing, wanting to see his friend with a girl.

"Loco," he mumbled underneath his breath.

But deep inside, he knew that Lando was right.

And Carlos had to make his move.

babylemem1 J*hn Ma**r after seeing Carlos Sainz' post

carlosleclairfan: CARLOS SAID "UR NOT HITTING ON MY *ALLEGED* GIRLFRIEND" WAHHAHAH 🤣 - havanagomz22: gf?? - - carlosleclairfan: yeah, I FEEL LIKE THEY'RE DATING

"Carlos," you knocked on his door impatiently. "What's wrong?" he asked, turning his phone off and giving you his full attention. You take a step inside of his room, settling on the couch beside him. "Is everything alright between you and a certain singer?" you ask cryptically, not wanting to spook him just yet.

He probably hasn't opened twitter - and Lando - well, he's Lando.

"John Mayer, hate him." he rolled his eyes, already knowing where the conversation was headed. "Well, you'll be happy to see the tweets that Lando made about him." you bite your lower lip, turning your Ipad in his direction for him to read the tweets. "Madre mia..." he mumbled - resisting a laugh.

"I couldn't stop laughing the first time I saw it. Does this have something to do with me?" you inquire, knowing that John Mayer was currently sitting in your twitter dms (ignored.)

"Maybe," he lied - looking away from you.

"You know that you can tell me anything, right?"

carlossainz55: I don't believe in soft launches 😛

149 comments 125,923 likes

LandoNorris: Looking very respectful! 💪🏽

Y.N_Official: I like that picture of me, very good Carlito! - carlossainz55: ❤️ te amo tanto

Y.N_Official: all along there was some, invisible string. 💗

812 comments 12,842 likes

carlossainz55: Handsome ❤️ - LandoNorris: who lied to u? - - carlossainz55: I'll let you pass this one time...

twilightfan22: OMG OMG OMG Atty. Y/N Sainz. The fucking power.

----

AND THE TUMBLR IMAGE CAPACITY STRIKES AGAIN

Requests are open

[rafemotherfuckingcameron]

YOU LITERALLY SAVED MY LIFE

Word Count: 1.8k

Pairing(s): Dark!JJ x Reader, Sarah x Reader, Rafe x Reader

Warnings: domestic abuse, physical abuse, strangling, gaslighting, alcohol, mentions of blood, toxic relationship, controlling behavior, trauma, rape, 18+

Summary: Y/n trusted JJ, who initially seemed to be the love of her life, but ultimately became the source of her deepest fears.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Part 4 - Help

"Y/n, what happened?" Sarah's voice is urgent as she pulls you inside, concern etched in every line of her face.

You collapse into her arms, unable to hold back the sobs. "JJ... he... he did this to me," you manage to choke out, the words spilling forth in a torrent of pain and fear.

-

"He hit me, Sarah. He kicked me. Sarah's expression shifts from concern to disbelief, her brow furrowing. “Y/n, stop," she says, her voice tinged with frustration.

"Stop trying to make JJ out to be a terrible person. He would never do something like this."

Your heart sinks at her words, the disbelief cutting deeper than you thought possible. "But it's true," you plead, clutching her arm desperately. "You have to believe me. Look at me, Sarah. Look at what he did."

Sarah shakes her head, stepping back from you. "No, Y/n. I can't believe that. JJ loves you. He wouldn't hurt you. This... this must be something you did to yourself. Maybe you fell, or..." She trails off, unable to meet your eyes.

The accusation feels like a slap in the face. "You think I did this to myself?" you ask, your voice barely a whisper. The pain and betrayal are too much to bear, the hope you had clung to shattered by her words.

“Y/n, you're clearly upset and confused," Sarah insists, trying to sound calm and rational. "You need help, but not the kind you're thinking of. Let's get you to the hospital, and we'll figure out what really happened."

You push her away, shaking your head vehemently. "No, Sarah! You're supposed to be my best friend," you cry out, the betrayal cutting deep. "Why won't you believe me? No one ever believes me!"

Your breathing becomes rapid and shallow, panic setting in as the reality of your situation crashes over you. The walls seem to close in, and your vision blurs as you struggle to catch your breath.

“Y/n, calm down," Sarah pleads, reaching out to you again. "I'm just trying to help."

But her words do little to soothe the rising tide of fear and desperation. "You're supposed to be my best friend," you repeat, your voice breaking. "How can you not believe me?"

The room spins as the panic attack grips you, overwhelmed, you turn and run out of the house, leaving Sarah standing there, unsure of what to do.

The night air hits you like a slap, but you don't stop. You keep running, driven by a desperate need to escape the suffocating disbelief and betrayal. Sarah's voice calls after you, but it's drowned out by the sound of your own racing heartbeat and gasping breaths.

You don't know where you're going, but you know you can't stay. The pain, both physical and emotional, drives you forward towards the jetty. 

As you reach the end of the jetty, your legs give out, and you collapse against the weathered wood, sobs wracking your body. The cold night air and the gentle lapping of the water against the posts do little to soothe the storm within.

You curl up, hugging your knees to your chest, and begin to speak to yourself through the tears.

"I can't take this anymore," you whisper, your voice barely audible over the sound of the water. "Why doesn't anyone believe me? Why does it have to hurt so much? I just want the pain to go away."

The darkness of the night feels overwhelming, the stars above indifferent to your suffering. The weight of betrayal and fear presses down on you, and the future seems uncertain, filled with more anguish than you can bear.

"I can't do this," you murmur, tears streaming down your face. "I just can't keep going like this."

You cry harder, the sobs shaking your entire body as you rock back and forth. "I just want it to stop," you plead to the night, your voice breaking. "I want the pain to go away. Please, someone, help me."

After a few seconds, a voice pulls you out of your cries. “Y/n? Are you okay?" It's Rafe. His concerned tone cuts through your despair.

You look up, your vision blurry with tears, and shake your head. "No, I'm not okay," you manage to say, your voice trembling.

Rafe steps closer, his face etched with worry. "What happened? Why are you out here like this?"

The words catch in your throat as you try to explain, the flood of emotions overwhelming you. "JJ... he... he hurt me," you whisper, barely able to get the words out. "I don't know what to do, Rafe."

Rafe's expression shifts from worry to shock, then quickly to anger. "He what?" he nearly shouts, his fists clenching at his sides. "That bastard did this to you?" His voice is filled with a mix of fury and disbelief as he looks over your battered form.

You nod, fresh tears streaming down your face.

Rafe's eyes blaze with anger. "I can't believe this," he mutters, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “Y/n, I'm so sorry. I had no idea he was capable of this. You're coming with me right now. We need to get you to a hospital."

He kneels down beside you, his voice softening with concern. "Can you walk? We need to get you some help."

You try to stand but collapse back down, shaking your head. "I can't walk," you admit, shifting slightly. As you do, Rafe's eyes widen in horror as he notices the blood seeping through your pants.

"Did JJ do something else to you?" he asks, his voice filled with dread.

You nod, but quickly add, "Not in the way you're thinking. It's worse."

Rafe's face pales, the fury and concern mixing into a determined resolve. "We need to get you to a hospital now," he says, more urgently. "I'm going to carry you, okay? You're going to be safe."

With great care, he lifts you into his arms, holding you securely. As he makes his way to the car, you cling to him the physical pain to much to bear. 

Rafe places you gently in the passenger seat and rushes to the driver's side, the engine roaring to life as he speeds towards the hospital. The drive is a blur of pain and worry, but Rafe's presence beside you is a steadying force.

When you arrive at the hospital, Rafe doesn't waste a moment. He scoops you up into his arms and runs into the emergency room, shouting for help. "Someone, please! She needs help!"

A team of doctors and nurses quickly surrounds you, placing you on a bed and wheeling you into a separate room. One of the doctors turns to Rafe, saying, "Sir, you need to wait outside."

Panic surges through you, and you grab Rafe's hand, pulling him close. "I want him to stay," you say, your voice trembling. "Please don't leave me alone," you plead, looking up at Rafe with desperate eyes.

Rafe squeezes your hand reassuringly. "I'm not going anywhere," he promises, his voice steady and calm. He looks at the doctors, his expression firm. "I'm staying with her."

The doctors exchange glances but ultimately nod in agreement, recognizing the intensity of the situation. They allow Rafe to stay by your side as they begin to assess your injuries.

The bright lights and sterile environment of the hospital are overwhelming, but Rafe's presence anchors you. He stays close, holding your hand, his eyes filled with unwavering support and determination.

"You'll be okay, Y/n,” he whispers, his voice filled with conviction. "I'm right here with you."

The doctors carefully assess the injuries below your waist, their expressions grave and focused. They gently ask what happened, but the words catch in your throat, and tears stream down your cheeks. The pain and fear are almost unbearable as you try to find the strength to speak.

Meanwhile, a nurse performs an ultrasound, her movements gentle yet precise. The room is filled with an eerie silence as the monitor displays what was once a growing life, now still and silent. The nurse's face softens with empathy as she meets your tear-filled eyes.

“Y/n, can I speak with you alone for a moment?" the nurse asks gently, her voice tinged with compassion. "I need to discuss something important with you."

Your heart sinks at the thought of being alone again, “It’s okay, it just don’t want to be alone, squeezing Rafe's hand for reassurance. "Please don't leave," you whisper, your voice trembling.

Rafe gives your hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'll be right here," he promises softly, his eyes full of concern and support.

She takes a deep breath, gathering her thoughts before speaking with gentle sincerity.

“Y/n, I'm so sorry to tell you this," the nurse begins, her voice soft yet steady. "Due to your injuries, unfortunately, the baby has died."

Tears well up in your eyes, but you nod silently, the truth already weighing heavily on your heart.

"We will need to take you into surgery to remove the placenta and the baby," the nurse continues gently, her words a solemn reminder of the next steps.

You take a shaky breath, the reality of the situation hitting you hard. "I knew," you manage to say, your voice barely above a whisper. "My boyfriend... he found out I was pregnant. He... he beat me to get rid of it."

The nurse's expression darkens with empathy and concern as she listens, her hand reaching out to gently squeeze yours.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that," she says softly. "You're safe now, Y/n. We're going to take care of you."

Rafe's presence beside you is a steady anchor amidst the storm of emotions. His jaw clenches with restrained anger and sadness, but he remains silent, offering you his unwavering support.

"We'll prepare for the surgery," the nurse assures you, her voice a soothing balm. "You're not alone in this."

The nurse's voice softens further, her expression a mix of sympathy and resolve as she continues to hold your hand. “Y/n, given the circumstances you've described, I'm also obligated to call the police," she explains gently.

As the nurse leaves to make the necessary calls, Rafe turns to you, his eyes filled with a mixture of concern and restrained anger. He sits down beside you, his presence a comforting anchor in the whirlwind of emotions.

"Are you okay, Y/n?” Rafe asks softly, his voice tinged with sorrow. "I'm so sorry you've been through this alone."

Tears well up in your eyes again as you meet Rafe's gaze. You take a deep breath, trying to find the words to express the depth of your pain and gratitude for his support. "I'm... I don't know," you admit, your voice barely a whisper. "But I'm glad you're here."

Rafe reaches out and gently squeezes your hand, his touch warm and reassuring. "I'm not going anywhere," he promises, his voice steady.