#take care of yourselves and your mental health people- this was an okay distraction on a bad day

[margroot]

When the brain ain't nice, the only art I can do are bgs. This one turned out okay

[rnagina]

Tips for parents on how to deal with their child's mental health | UNICEF India

From the moment they are born, babies look to caregivers to help them learn, develop and thrive. Whether a parent, grandparent or other caring adult, caregivers play the most important role in supporting the physical, emotional and cognitive development of children. But parenting is not an easy job and, as any caregiver knows, it doesn’t come with an instruction manual.  

Building a better relationship

Remember the three steps for communicating effectively with your child.

Listen, encourage, and ensure them that it’s okay and safe to share their thoughts and feelings. While listening and encouraging your child to share, continue nodding your head or using short positive responses in words. Don’t be judgemental. Trust and believe them and be patient.

Observe your child without any distraction like listening to music, watching TV, reading the newspaper, etc. or multitasking like talking on the phone, doing household chores, office work, etc. Make eye contact and give them your undivided attention while listening or talking.

Be honest and make them feel (with your words and body language) that you are here to support them. And keep up with their interests – talk about the music or television show they like, talk about a famous personality, or share a story. Enjoy their company and nurture this beautiful relationship. You can do this by taking your child on a walk, watching a movie, or telling them a story. Develop a shared interest such as cooking or yoga or art.

Praise your child for something they have done well. And never discuss an issue while you are angry or when your child is not in a good mood. When there is conflict, take some time to reflect on how you and your child can resolve it together.

Whether you and your child and teen are getting along well or having challenges, it is important to show that you love and support them, that you can help them navigate tough times and that you are always there for them.

Here are things to keep in mind when having that ‘how-are-you-doing?’ conversation with your teen and to show that you are always there for them.

Accepting mental health is a challenge

Make sure your child knows that they aren't alone. Reassure them that you'll be there, whenever they need any help or want to share any feelings or thoughts. Tell them that even grown-ups have problems that they can't solve on their own. Point out that it's easier to ask for help when someone else is on your side.

Look for ways to check in with your child. Ask them how their day has been and what they have been doing. Try to give them the appropriate time and space to be on their own. Tell them that it's normal for children to worry, feel stressed or sad.

Tell your child that it can be scary to talk about how they feel and what they think but its ok to share and the right thing to ask for help. If they don’t want to talk to you, suggest other people they could talk to like an aunt or uncle, a close family friend, a trusted teacher or faith leader, an elder, or your doctor.

Encourage your child to take breaks from schoolwork, housework, or other activities to do things they enjoy. Suggest some activities of their choice as healthy alternative engagements.

It is important to first take good care of yourselves so that you can better help your child to nurture, grow, and develop in a positive and safe environment. Praise yourself about what you have done well! If you feel distressed seek help. And yes, it is okay for you to talk to a doctor or a professional as well.

Be open and accepting with your child regardless of gender and encourage them to express their feelings and express their own sense of identity. Nurture, love and care for children equally, irrespective of their gender and sexual orientation.

Be a positive role model by challenging gender stereotypes. For example, fathers can participate in cooking and cleaning and mothers can play outdoor sports.

Talk to your teen boy that it is okay to be emotional. Encourage them to feel love, anger, happiness, sadness or whatever it is they are going through. Take pro-active steps to address the gender discrimination within families that has an impact on nutrition, mental health and mobility of girls.

Adolescents from the LGBTQI community may face discrimination at home, in school or the community. Ensure they have equal opportunities for education, nutrition and play.

Nurturing a better environment at home

Children feel secure and structured with rules, boundaries, and consequences that are mutually agreed upon with them. Your child is more likely to follow family rules if they helped make them. They help your child understand family standards (its strength and positive impacts) and the consequences of breaking them. Negotiating adherence to rules with your child can reduce the anxiety, anger, distrust and manage conflict.

Positive family rituals, traditions, and habits give children opportunities to build and strengthen the relationships. Set realistic expectations from your children about family traditions in matters related to their education, marriage, careers, etc. It may be difficult to talk about some issues like sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. within the family but prepare yourself for these conversations with teens. Handle breaches of trust calmly.

Engage children in household responsibilities as a way of teaming up for some shared work according to their age, ability and other engagements. Discuss household responsibilities and try to motivate them to take interest and show their willingness to take the responsibility. Agreed-upon household tasks provide teens a sense of contribution. These include chores, shopping, helping family members, etc.

Read More - https://www.unicef.org/india/stories/tips-parents-how-deal-their-childs-mental-health

[lildevyl]

DSMP FanFic Recommendations I

So, a few days @nastiiuu did a nice Recommendation of a DSMP FanFic called Evermore. So, per request, here's a list of different DSMP Recommendations that I have from my History, Mark For Later, and from my Bookmarks! Sorry, @nastiiuu that it took me a while to get this up! But I hope you all enjoy!

Stay safe and I will put the Summaries and Tigger Warnings in as well!

So, I will start off with the one the @nastiiuu recommended a few days ago!

Evermore

Summary: Prince Theseus, a child of blonde and blue, a child of isolation and a crave for touch. He's the youngest in the Royal Family, and somehow the most forgotten. The most neglected. The most alone.

Tucked away in his tower, the young prince watches the world move on without him, watches his family welcome two new princes into their arms, and yet reject him when he cries desperately from nightmares or shivers from a painful wound.

"Wilby?" The child had murmured, all curious and hesitant at once. He was tucked in his older brother's lap, watching as his other sibling sparred with their father. "We'll always be together, right? Forever and ever?"

Wilbur smiled. "Of course, Tommy. Forever and ever."

The Hanahaki rising in young Theseus' throat says otherwise.

TW: Isolation, Hanahki Disease, Angst no happy ending, Character Death, Villain!Dream, Manuplation.

The Exchange: My Life for Yours: I'm still reading this one, I'm on chapter 17 and it's ssssssssooooooooo good right now!

Summary: Tommy was a liability. Too annoying and too loud.

Techno didn't care about this child.

"Unless of course, you want call on that favor"

"Ok"

Then why he suddenly did?

TW: Villain!Dream, Canon Diverse, Kidnapping, Demons/Dreamons, Demon!Dream, Dreamon!Dream, Isolation, Manipulation, "A Deal with the Devil."

The Inevitability of Change: I just got caught up with this one and oh my Ghoul! This is intense and so good! I can't wait for the update!

Summary: Fuck it, he was allowed to do this, it would be better for everyone else anyway. They could do whatever they wanted and he wouldn’t be in their way. He wouldn’t cause problems anymore and he could have the perfect life that he had always wanted.

The egg extended a blood vine out to him. "Do we have a deal?" There was a level of smugness that Tommy recognized all too well from all his wars with Dream, it was the sound of an opponent knowing they’d won.

“We do, you dumb ugly bitch.”

or

Tommyinnit hated change. He'd witnessed so many people he cared about in his life change and hardly ever for the better. He just wished things could go back to the way they were when he had everything he ever wanted, a loving family who cared about him, a best friend who was always by his side. He craves this so badly that he makes a deal with the egg to get everything he's ever wanted.

or or

Tommy becomes a coraline kinnie

TW: Derealization, Unreality, Manipulation, Child Abandonment, Violence (later chapters), Explosions (later chapters).

Ties of the Puppet

Summary: Tommy hates how his mind feels trapped at that moment with Tubbo. The look in his eyes one Tommy had been forced to see far too many times. Wilbur’s eyes.

or

Tommy struggles with the trauma of his life and unhealthy relationships, Wilbur tries his hand at redemption, Phil and Techno learn to heal what's been lost.

TW: Mental Health Issues, Violence, Abuse, Redemption Arc for Tubbo, Healing for Tommy/Phil/Techno, some of the characters will seem a little OOC, Canon Diverse.

Forged By Truth (Or the Lack there of)

Summary: After his escape from exile failed spectacularly, Tommy only needed to be reminded that Dream saved his life a few times before it starts to sink in. Once his exile can continue again far away from any more distractions, Dream proceeds with his plan to craft the perfect weapon.

TW: Manipulation, Mention of Character Death (Character doesn't really die but the other characters don't know that), Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, Protégé AU, Tommy becomes Dream's Protégé, Angst, Whump.

Mask: I'm still working on this one but it's really, really, really good! A lot of Angst and Manipulation. So, please be careful when reading!

Summary: Dream knew Tommy was a naturally clingy child. That's why he found such satisfaction in having him exiled.

Dream didn't plan on Tommy clinging to him.

Dream was going to take advantage of the situation.

All Tommy needed was a bit of a push and then he would be completely broken.

Ready to be remodeled into the perfect weapon.

TW: Suicidal Thoughts, Attempted Suicide, Manipulation, Emotional and Mental Manipulation, Protégé AU, Broken!Tommy, Angst, Angst (possibly no happy ending but I'm not sure), Whump.

Lion's Cup, Tiger Stripes: I just finished this one and it's so good! Exile Arc but with a twist! Guest Appearances by Sad-ist, Late-August, Derivakat.

Summary: Tommy Innit knew what Dream was doing and was sure as hell not going through with it. So, by the third week of exile, as Dream starts to escalate his punishments, he leaves. One month later he runs into Purpled and hires him as a bodyguard while he travels.

Or Tommy runs away, stays in one village for a month to clear his head and decides to go travelling while dragging Purpled with him.

Or road trip pog.

TW: Angst, Angst with a happy, Found Family, Violence, Testing, Scares, Explosions (later chapters), I think that's all.

Valley of Serenity: This is a very long fic! It's about 60+ chapters so feel free to read in increments but this is a really good fic! Redemption Arc and Healing for the SBI Family!

Summary: After blowing up a nation, Wilbur throws a sword down at his father's feet and begs to be killed.

Phil, however, takes one look at the state of his children and decides he has other plans.

(post november 16th au where wilbur doesn't die. instead a family leaves the smp entirely, and learn how to live with each other again.)

"Fuck, I - I can't forgive either of you right now," Tommy says quietly. Despite the words, he hugs Wilbur tighter. "One day, though. I think one day I will."

"And we're still brothers, right?" Wilbur dares ask. Techno inhales sharply beside him.

They get a choked laugh in reply.

"Yeah. Brothers."

TW: Angst, Mention of wanting to die, Healing, a long road of healing, Mental Health Issues, Family Bonds, Angst but I think there is a happy ending, Violence, Mention of the L'Manburg exploding. Redemption Arc, Healing.

Breathing's Just A Rhythm: I finished this fic a few weeks ago and my ghoul! This is so good! Time Travel Fic with Dream, Schlatt, Tubbo, Tommy, and of course CHAT!

Summary: POGTOPIA??? WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?? TIMETRAVELBLADE. technotravel

“Chat, I did not time travel,” Techno said exhaustedly, “I don’t know what gave you that idea, but please calm yourselves.”

The voices started obnoxiously whispering at the top of their lungs. HE DOESN’T KNOW. PANIC

Or: Tommy, Tubbo, Jschlatt, and Dream all end up in the past. (Oh, and the Chat comes too) (mcd is a villain, this fic has a happy ending)

Or OR! Dream attempts to Time Travel in the past but winds only go back a few months ago during Pogtopia Area and he winds up bring a few unexpected victors with him! MEANWHILE: Karl is trying his damnest to fix everything with Time Travel Fiasco that Dream caused! B/C the Future selves and the past selves switched!

TW: Graphic Violence, Bodily harm (later chapters), Kidnapping (later chapters), Explosions (later chapters), Betrayal (later chapters I won't say who!), Isolation, Manipulations, Mental and Emotional Abuse, Trauma, Therapy (Finally these boys gets some), Good!Schlatt, Villain!Dream, Redemption Arc Wilbur and Schlatt.

I think I got them all?

Wrong Place for Redemption: This one of the stories that helped inspired Breathing is Just a Rhythm! Time Travel Fic!

Summary: -Previously titled Time Will Decide. Name taken from lyrics in 'A Sadness Runs Through Him' by The Hosiers

“Okay, why don’t you go see him.” Tommy didn’t know what he thought the afterlife was going to be like, hell he didn’t even know if it was a real thing. Maybe he’d see Wilbur, possibly Schlatt, but he didn’t expect to see a white castle and Karl.

Or where Tommy looses his final life to Dream in the prison only to be teleported back in time.

OR where Tommy is given a second chance and isn't going to blow it, not even if things start to get revealed (things that change everything) and discoveries are made.

This whole book has TW's: Child abuse, violence/murder, gore/blood, implied/referenced suicide, suicide, drinking, etc.

Parental Rights: Another good on going fic for me! Can you tell that I love some SBI/Found Family Fics here?

Summary: Sam wants to be there for Tommy. Wants to be his dad. Wants to be the one Tommy comes to when he's in trouble or excited over something. He'd happily legally adopt Tommy, but well... Tommy's actual father is in the way of that. Sam thought with how distanced Phil was with his son it would be easy to persuade him to give his parental rights over to Sam. But well... Tommy's stubbornness had to come from somewhere, right?

TW: Sleep Walking, Mentions of Exile, Healing Arc for Tommy, Healing Arc for Sam, Healing Arc for Tubbo, SBI, Healing Arc for Techno.

Allium: This is still on going, but oh man! This is getting really good!

Summary: What if Dreams plan for the Disc War finale had worked?

Tubbo dead, Tommy in the prison, SMP under his control. Allium Ashes.

TW: Major Character Death, Ghostbo (Ghost Tubbo), Manipulation, Isolation, Imprisonment, Prisoner Innit, Making someone believe they are responsible for something they didn't do, Kidnapping, Rescue Mission.

And How Can I Compete (With The World At Your Feet): God AU and this is really Fangtastic! Rated M for Graphic Violence and Attempted Sacrifice.

Summary: Tommy has been kept away from the world and held captive for four years, and now he’s about to be used as a sacrifice to a god. A blood god, to be specific. The Blood God. But, instead of accepting his captor’s sacrifice, the Blood God is in debt to Tommy. And he’s going to save him.

A universe where Technoblade, Wilbur, and Phil are all gods who have become quite protective of a mortal fifteen year old without a home.

This concept was based on a text post I saw, I think! I can’t find it anymore, but if you see it let me know!

TW: Blood, Violence, Attempted Sacrifice, Villain!Dream, Villain!BadBoyHalo, Occult Setting, God AU, Blood God!Techno, Angel of Death!Philza, God!Wilbur, Angel!Tubbo, Angel!Ranboo.

Death's Forest: This is a nice little One-Shot for the SBI, and Dadza fans! Set during Tommy's Exile. Don't worry! Dadza to the rescue!

Summary: “Can I see him?” Phil asks, blinking owlishly, as if he’s simply just asking. As if he’s not holding a threat behind those light words.

“Don’t push your limits.” Dream responds, and Phil only smiles with a slow nod.

The next day, Dream wishes he had answered differently.

Or

Phil isn’t quite human. He wants to visit Tommy during exile.

TW: I don't think there's any TW here, but if there is, please let me know!

Prince Theseus: Royal AU! Hybrid Tommy. Prince Tommy (Theseus).

Summary: Prince Theseus Craft of the Anartitic Empire, A child who could bring joy to anyone's day left to be forgotten by his family left to spend his days in his tower with nothing but his Maid and dear friend as company

Left to watch his older brothers laugh and smile as his father looks at them with love and the eyes of a proud parent he never saw directed to him, watch them both receive the love he craved so desperately from his father. Left him to envy his brothers yet grow jealous as that jealousy turns to a small flame of hatred growing steadily as time passes leaving him to make his final decision.

No longer will he be known as Theseus but as the Amazing Tommyinnit who could do anything who will prove his former family wrong and show he is better than what they think.

Which leads him to where he is now, a runaway prince who finds a new family brought together by hardship and their love of traveling the endless seas.

AKA :

16 yr old Prince Theseus changes his name to Tommyinnit and runs away from his royal family who neglected him and finds a real family on a ship who just so happened to be pirates as well.

TW: Isolation, Mention of a Minor Character Death, Running Away, Royal AU, Hybrid Tommy, SBI, Neglect, Pirates, Found Family, Angst, Hurt and Comfort, Magic.

Therapy Marriage: Okay, I'm adding this one for some Wholesomeness, and Fluff with some Angst but there should be a Happy Ending!

Summary: but for some reason, tubbo (and possibly ranboo, although he doubted this was his idea) had got it into his head that tommy needed therapy or some shit.

which, fine, maybe he had a little bit of an issue. he did freak out at damage, and weapons, and he had reached out to puffy, but he was okay! he didn’t need tubbo to pity him.

but- here was where the weird part came in- tubbo wanted tommy in his marriage.

TL:DR Tubbo wants to help Tommy and decides that the best method is by marrying him as well. Ranboo just goes along with it.

*****

Okay, this post has gotten very long! I do apologize for that! So, I'll add others to another Post!

[alvariearmy]

Stop trying to make people for guilty for what they talk about, and what they don’t talk about, and how much they talk about it. You never know what someone is going through, what they are doing on their own, how they might be processing something.

I am using current events to keep me distracted from the very recent death of my aunt. But sometimes, talking about it gets to be too much. I couldn’t handle the news of Roe V. Wade when I first heard it, I pretty much just closed out of all social media and watched videos on YouTube or anything else, because it was all I could handle. But other times, I get angry at the state of the world, at how rights are being stripped away. And I use that anger as a shield against my grief for however long I can.

But tomorrow, I doubt I’ll be able to say a word. Tomorrow I’ll probably be struggling all day not to completely lose it. Because the despair of the situation will have set in, and it will only add to the despair I already have. Yes, I could still talk about it, but many others will be, people who can do more than I can. So I’m going to leave it to those people until I’m in a remotely decent headspace.

And some people are still talking about the Depp v. Heard defamation case. I still talk about that. But as you can tell from this post, I am also capable of talking about Roe v. Wade and what’s going on with that. When I’m mentally okay, that is. And that is up to the roll of the dice right now. Some people might not feel okay ever to talk about Roe v. Wade, but they might be able to talk about Depp and Heard forever. It’s all about how things impact you and your mental health.

Take care of yourselves. Do what is best for you, not what jerks on the internet think you should do.

[whosnickydude]

A soft dusk

okay so a while ago a posted this Kandreil drabble on ao3 but never really kept writing a 2nd part? but now that’s summer i have more time on my hands and i started writing again, so i guess i’m posting the 1st part here as well?? idk enjoy

CW: panic attack, Kevin has some really sad and harmful thoughts. please take care of yourselves lovies!

Kevin was spiraling. He felt as if his chest was about to explode from the pressure of not getting air through, and he couldn’t get a hold of his feelings.

Six months had passed since Riko’s death. Since the press lurking around every corner, demanding answers, fighting for a statement. None of them were sensible about it. Kevin practically couldn’t go anywhere alone the first month, or he would probably end up being stalked. One time it actually got close to physical assault.

All the while, he was mourning Riko. And he was the only one, it seemed. He felt immensely guilty, for an overbearing amount of reasons. He felt guilty for letting his brother become the sadistic monster he turned into. He felt guilty for not being able to change him. He felt guilty for leaving him. But most of all, he felt guilty for mourning him. It wasn’t fair, not with all that he did to Kevin. The sleepless nights, the feeling of always being a prey, always the second, always with a leash around his neck. He broke his hand because he was having a fucking tantrum, for God’s sake. It was not fair that Kevin still had to feel like shit because of him dying.

He started drinking, after that. More than he did before. It was the only way he knew to numb the pain. The other foxes let him. None of them understood why he felt so sad about his abuser’s death, so none of them knew how to —or wanted to— comfort him. They would throw him a pitying glance and try to do so, but after some times he shoved them off, they started to leave him to himself. So they let him drink. It wasn’t as if they ignored him completely. When everyone went to Eden’s Matt, or Dan, or Allison asked him to go dancing with them. Sometimes he got so drunk that he actually did. Most of the time, though, he stayed on the table while everyone gradually went to the dance floor. They never left him completely alone. Almost every time, Neil and Andrew stayed on the other side of the table, speaking in languages he didn’t know. Probably flirting shamelessly right on his face. However, the only one who stopped him from getting alcohol down his throat was Andrew, and only when he saw that another one would end up with Kevin passing out.

Five months had passed since Thea left him by now. And through text, at that. Apparently, he was making a fool of himself in public every day and it was bad for both of their careers. She didn’t want anything to do with him nor with Edgar Allen. The hypocrite. Kevin was the only one that was always mindful of his surroundings. The only one that acted perfect, that pushed every feeling inside so as to not attract too much undesired attention from the public. But she had it as she wanted it, and Kevin put no resistance against it. They didn’t even see each other and barely even texted or spoke on the phone.

The drinking got worse. The mighty Queen of Exy had fallen, but the only ones who saw it happening were the Foxes. And people who knew nothing about Exy in the darkness of a nightclub in full swing.

Four months had passed since on a Wednesday at 6 A.M., in the middle of his morning run, Neil had found Kevin, alone, near to unconsciousness in the middle of the road to Fox Tower. He had his body on the street and his head on the sidewalk. His face was pressed to the pavement as he sobbed, a half-empty bottle of vodka in his right hand.

Four months had passed since the last time he drank alcohol: he was four months sober now.

It had taken fights, screams, and comforting talks with Abby, but Kevin finally accepted to go to A.A. Neither Wymack nor Andrew would let him alone enough time for him to get near any type of alcoholic beverage. It took a while, but he got to the point that he spent a whole day not thinking about it.

Right now, he would kill for a drink. His mind seemed to have caught up on everything that had happened in the past few months. It was the beginning of term, so everyone wasn’t as free anymore to look out for him. Andrew and Neil had gone out a while ago, probably to the roof, since it was almost dawn. Kevin was left alone for more time than he could manage. The prospect of having to deal with still mourning the death of his worst nightmare, his own mental health, his addiction, and the school year, was simply too much. It was looming over him. He felt as if he was dying.

Maybe it was because he found himself with so few distractions that he started overthinking. Maybe he just opened the wrong Pandora’s box from the rotten depths of his mind. Either way, he was panicking. The rush of adrenaline and utter fear he felt —he remembered— from his time in the Nest was a live wire around his throat. How could he let all those things happen to him? Riko’s abuse, Tetsuji’s beating, the terror, the exposure. Being so vulnerable and ignored while also being right in the spotlight. “Always a commodity, never a human being...”

And then, what? He went running to his father, who didn’t even know he was his father. And he didn’t say anything about it until he was forced to do so. He was a coward. He was a coward, a fucking coward.

He couldn’t breathe. His head felt heavy, his shoulders felt heavy, his whole body felt heavy. Living felt heavy. Maybe he could just lay down where he was sitting on the couch and let himself go. But he couldn’t bring himself to move. His vision started blurring and everything around him was out of focus. Suddenly, there was a warm pressure on the back of his neck, and then another on his right cheek. The world started solidifying back, spinning around him, and he was gasping for air. He was letting out ragged, desperate gasps, his neglected lungs screaming for oxygen.

A face started coming to focus in front of him, but as soon as it materialized it blurred again. Tears were running down his face and he curled his arms around him. The pressure on the back of his neck —a hand, he realized— tightened, and the one on his cheek went up to pull at his hair.

“Kevin, look at me,” he heard someone say. The voice sounded familiar. “Kevin, I need you to breathe.”

The hand behind him stretched up and tangled between his hair as well, pushing his head slightly down.

“Come down, Kevin. You’re safe.”

The voices felt oddly comforting, and his hands flew up to grasp the other two. He was still crying and gasping, but it wasn’t as desperate. Maybe he wouldn’t die today.

At some point during the episode he had shut his eyes tightly, and now he tried to blink slowly, with narrowed eyes. The first thing that he saw was red hair, scarred skin, and blue eyes. Neil was in front of him, looking worried in his own way. His brow was furrowed, and he was chewing on his lip, but his expression didn’t seem quite compassionate.

“Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, Kevin,” he said. He showed the motion, exaggerating his breaths for Kevin to copy. And Kevin could only look him in the eyes and comply. Some time passed —maybe minutes, maybe hours— and the panic ebbed. The tears wouldn’t stop falling and his breath was shaky, but he wasn’t hyperventilating anymore.

He was still holding both hands, and he felt the one at the back of his head slip away from his grasp. He looked back and saw Andrew staring at him, sitting on the arm of the couch. Neil was sitting on the coffee table in front of it.

“I’m... I’m sorry, I just...” he started, but couldn’t finish.

Andrew didn’t look away from him. His face didn’t demonstrate any emotion, but he still wasn’t looking away. “What happened, Kevin?”

“I...” He sighed. “I started overthinking, and I really wanted a drink, and I... I guess it just went down from there.”

His voice was small and he hated it. He felt stupid, he couldn’t be left alone with his thoughts for two fucking seconds because he started falling to pieces.

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

“Well, don’t be,” Neil said. “It’s only natural for these things to happen.”

Kevin wasn’t really sure what he meant by that, but he didn’t have much time to think about it because then Neil was standing up and going to the kitchen. Kevin looked back towards Andrew and saw him lighting up a cigarette and walking to the desk next to the window.

“Go change your clothes, Kevin,” he said, looking out towards the campus. “You’ll be itchy until you do, and you probably drenched all that in sweat anyway.”

He was probably right, Kevin thought, but still glared in his direction. Only because it was in his nature and he felt better already; Andrew wasn’t looking at him. Though he probably knew Kevin would glare at him. Giving no response to the blonde, he stood up and went to the bedroom to change into his pajamas. Andrew was right: the sweatpants felt like heaven on his skin. He closed his eyes and brought his hands up to rub them. He was feeling sleepy all of a sudden. The panic attack had drained all the energy from him, and his muscles hurt everywhere.

He went back out to the living room, yawning, and found Neil sprawled on one end of the couch with his laptop on his lap and a cup of coffee on hand. Andrew had one too where he was still sitting on the desk, and there was another one on the coffee table.

“Is that for me?” Kevin asked, sitting down on the other end of the couch. Neil looked up at him from his laptop and raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

“No, Day, I felt like having two cups of coffee,” he said. They fixed their eyes on each other until Kevin decided to take the cup. Neil seemed satisfied with that and looked back to where he was browsing something. A few seconds later he clicked on something with a flourish and put his laptop on the coffee table. It was a Trojan’s game they had already seen many times.

Kevin stared at Neil, but the boy just kept watching the beginning of the game. He saw Andrew moving to stub his finished cigarette on the window sill and light up another one. The last rays of sunshine and the street lights drew shadows all over his face. He breathed out the smoke and Kevin saw it disappearing in the wind. He looked back to the game playing on the laptop and brought his knees to his chest. He sipped on his coffee, and it was sugary sweet. But he could allow himself that, at least for today.

[enthusiasticharry]

Hi, I hope you're doing well. Would you mind writing a one shot where Harry and the missus are roomies and she wakes him up in the middle of the night because she feels sick and he has to take care of her? I thinks that's too cute and fluffy. Thanks.

Playing Doctor

summary: you wake up feeling sick in the night and who better to help than your roommate, Harry. 

word count: a 2.3k word blurb of cuteness, I ain’t gonna lie. also proofread but I did write this in one sitting so I don't think it'll be too bad. 

Once you moved away from home, you never realised how much you needed your parents. Maybe not even your parents, just someone who you could rely on. 

For your first year of Uni you lived in a flat with quite a few people. All together there were around eight people in your flat. Of course like anytime a group of people were thrown together, there were people you got on better with than others. 

Harry was one of them. 

You were nervous when your first moved in to the flat. If someone were to ask you then, you probably would’ve said you were more excited than nervous to move out and be on your own, but your were nervous. You didn’t know anyone, it was a completely new place and you were basically throwing yourself in the deep end. 

Harry was the first person you met. He was making noodles in the kitchen when you pushed through the door with your bags in tow. He immediately dropped what he was doing to help you, grabbing some of the bags that you were struggling to carry. He introduced himself, and you did the same and thinking back, you can’t imagine your life any more without him. 

He quickly became your best friend. You bonded over your love for literature and roast dinners. It became your routine very early on in your friendship that when the two of you were paid, or you had a little extra money, or the two of you just needed a little pick me up you’d go for a roast dinner. 

It wasn’t a surprise to anybody when during your second year you decided to move in together. Some people found it odd that the two of you were going to be living with each other but weren’t together, but the two of you didn’t care. You honestly just couldn’t wait until you lived with each other and could ramp up your roasts from whenever you can afford them, to making them yourselves because you have your own kitchen to do so. 

Once your second year started, and you settled in, you couldn’t imagine not living with Harry or spending your days together. You had settled into a lovely routine. Whoever woke up and was ready first, usually Harry because he usually worked out in the morning rather than at night, made breakfast and made the morning drinks. 

Harry was the best friend you’d ever had, and you seriously couldn’t have asked for a better friend in life. 

Harry was an all around well rounded roommate also. He kept the flat clean and tidy, always put the toilet seat down and didn’t leave socks around like you knew men usually did. Even when he brought people home, he always let you know for if you wanted to leave. You were usually asleep when he brought people home anyway, and he made sure to respect you with how loud he was and if you were awake, you usually put your headphones in. 

You started to hope that when you did find your person, they were like Harry. He treat women so lovely, and was so respectful to people that you couldn’t even imagine what life is like with someone who isn’t. 

During your friendship, you have also had your fair share of hook-ups but due to embarrassment on your part you’ve managed to do them when you know that Harry isn’t in, and there isn’t the chance for him to come home at any point. You had spoken about it, and it didn’t happen frequently with him or you but you just didn’t like the idea of it. 

You had been living with Harry for around four months now, and you have loved every second. 

It was now the start of December, and Christmas was creeping around the corner. Days are shorter, the air is cooler and Christmas was everywhere you turned. Due to the fact that you would still be paying rent over the Christmas break you both decided to stay in the flat for as long as you could and just go home a few days before. 

The first weekend in December, the flat you lived in during your first year decided that you would all reconnect and go to the Christmas Market and a pub for a few drinks. You were unsure what had happened when you were picking your outfit that morning, because you hadn’t put any tights on with your skirt and you were freezing. 

You had spent the majority of the day outside and a little bit of the evening before you all made your way to the pub, and even when you made your way home tucked under Harry’s arm you were shivering. You were normally prepared for the cold whether, and you were unsure whether you just completely forgot or you were distracted. 

You had woken up the next day with a shiver and a headache but you had just assumed that it was because you were out drinking late and had a wee bit of a hangover. You had done any work you had needed to do curled up on the sofa with a blanket around you. Harry had gone out to do some Christmas shopping and when he returned home later that evening you were asleep on the sofa. He had woken you up lightly and you had gone to bed straight away. 

You usually went to bed early, but Harry had never know you fall asleep on the sofa before. He was worried about you, he wasn’t going to lie. 

In the middle of the night you had taken a turn for the worst. You had woken up and checked your phone to see that it was two in the morning but that wasn’t the only thing that held your attention. Your sinuses felt as though though they had grown twice in side, your nose was clogged and your throat felt ever so scratchy. 

It had been a while since you had felt this sick, and you certainly hadn’t felt this sick since the time you came home from school when you were sixteen and you physically couldn’t get out of bed because of how sick you were. 

You were so warm, sweating so much that it was physically dripping down you’re forehead. You threw the covers off your body with a huff, and after a few seconds of psyching yourself up to do so, you managed to push yourself up and trudge your way towards the bathroom. 

Opening the cabinet, you mentally cursed your past self for not nipping to the supermarket and picking up some more medication. You had nothing in the house, and you were in no fit state to go now, so you closed the cabinet door and made your way down the hallway towards Harry’s room. 

The door was closed, and the second your fingertips touched the cool metal of the handle you immediately felt guilty. He was laid upon his tummy, his bottom half covered by the blanket but one of his legs sticking out from beneath it. You could hear the small snores that escaped his lips and you really didn’t want to wake him up but you knew you had to. 

“H?” Your voice is quiet and scratchy, but once you cough to clear it, it’s louder, “Harry?” 

He jumps up, his head turning quickly towards your body. His heart almost burst at the sight of you. You were dressed in some plaid pyjama pants and one of Harry’s hoodies that you had stolen when you moved in. He didn’t mind you taking his clothes, since it meant you were comfortable and cosy. Your hair sat in a messy bun upon your head, one of your trouser legs was bunched up from your flailing within bed. 

“You okay, love?” He groaned and flipped around so that he was sat up and looking straight ahead at you, “What time is it?” 

“Its around one.” You cough into your elbow, “I don’t feel good.” 

“You don’t sound it, lovely.” He pulls back the duvet and you walk towards him, dropping down on the bed next to him. You place your head on the pillow next to his and look at him, sniffling sightly, “Have you had any meds?” 

“There isn’t any in the cupboards.” You sigh, sighing contently as Harry drops the duvet cover over your shoulders. 

He nods, “I’ll nip now to the Tesco’s. Do you want anything else?” 

“Can you check to see if we’ve got any honey?” 

“Of course.” He carefully slips out from beside you in the bed and makes his way towards his wardrobe to pull out of a hoodie. You watch as he pulls the hoodie over his body. 

“I’m sorry H.” You sigh, sniffling slightly, “I didn’t want to wake you up.” 

“No, don’t apologise.” He shakes his head, “I want you to wake me up when you’re feeling like this. I’ll be back soon, the Tesco’s isn’t too far away.” 

“Okay.” 

He wasn’t too long, but in the time that it had taken him, you had fallen back asleep surrounded by Harry’s scent and covered in his plush duvets and pillows. He had picked up an array of different medications, some pain, some cough meds and strips. He had also picked up some honey that you’d requested and some lemons. He picked up some soup for you tomorrow and some of your favourite chocolate so that you had something nice when you start to feel better. 

All in all, running to the the 24 hour Tesco’s at one was a successful, yet tired and sleepy trip. 

When he returned home, seeing as though it had just turned two in the morning, he only brought you a glass of water and some meds. 

Something twisted inside his stomach at the sight of you curled up in his bed, duvet up to your neck and small, deep breaths escaping your lips. Until this point you had never made him feel this way before, as though butterflies were erupting in the pit of his stomach and he yearned to feel your skin against his. He just wanted to wrap his arms around you and nurse you back to health. 

“YN.” He sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed, pushing some of your hair that had fallen onto your face, “Wake up, love, I’m back.” 

Your face crinkled up for a few seconds before your eyes fluttered open, falling upon a very tired yet smiling Harry. He passed you the glass of water and placed the small pills into your hand.

“Thank you.” You croaked, placing the medication on the tip of your tongue and washing them down with the water, “I’m sorry I fell asleep.” 

“Don’t be.” He shakes his head, taking the water off of you and placing it on the bedside cabinet beside you, “Go back to sleep, I’ll sleep on the sofa don’t.” 

“Don’t.” You shook your head, “Can you stay with me?” 

“Of course.” He smiled, pulling his hoodie off of his body and dropping it to the ground, slipping next to you into bed, “Turn around, love.” 

You do as he says and you turn around, moving so that your back is placed against his chest, finding comfort immediately in the heat that his body gave to her. You felt horrible and Harry felt helpless, as though he could buy you medication and cuddle you to death but he couldn’t take away the pain you were feeling. 

He placed his hand upon the exposed skin of you stomach, due to his hoodie bunching underneath your breasts. It was quite an intimate moment between the of you, and he hoped that he hadn’t overstepped a boundary. The way you sighed contently and buried your way deeper into his chest suggested to him that he hadn’t. 

He had never been this way with you before, and even though it could just be because you’re ill, the lingering touches suggested otherwise. As friends you were shy to a hug or two on the sofa, and you both enjoyed a cuddle and a film every once in a while but you had never shared a bed. 

You hoped you hadn’t overstepped his boundaries by offering, but the way he jumped in suggested that you hadn’t. 

That night, the next day and the few days that followed Harry never left your side. He catered after everything you wanted and nursed you back to health. After three nights of sleeping in Harry’s bed, by his side and engulfed by his warmth you returned back to your own. It was odd sleeping in your bed on your own again, it felt cold and lonely.

Harry felt exactly the same across the hall, unable to hide the fact that he missed your closeness. Nobody had ever made him feel this way before but he liked it. He was intrigued by the way you made him feel, and he wanted nothing more than to find out whether you felt the same.

It wouldn’t be long until you were back in the same, though. Less than a week later Harry woke up with a sniffle, and in payment, you were the one to nurse him back to health. 

Neither the two of you knew what this change in your dynamic meant, but you couldn’t lie and say you weren’t curious to find out. 

[sapphicmsmarvel]

JJ: Dear Sister

TW: drug abuse, mentions of depression and anxiety and mentions of sexual assault. Under the cut. 

im really proud of this one, I actually created a story! like with a plot and motive, I really like it! 

Being in the BAU and being away from your family was both a blessing and a curse, you were away from your mom and dad, your hometown and hometown friends. But the plus was, you were away from your sister. 

Your half-sister was a full on piece of shit, now she wasn’t a piece of shit because she’s an addict (which is what most people assume when you say you don’t like your sister because then they find out she’s an addict and are like “well she needs your support”). Being an addict does not make her a shitty person because you know it’s a mental illness and these people need help.

Your sister is just a piece of shit, because her personality sucks. Not because of the drugs. 

(a little author's note because I have Anxiety, addicts deserve all the help they can get and should never be put down for their mental illness. This sister just sucks, she is not a bad human being because of her being addicted to drugs. Okay continue)

You sister, Molly, used your father for his money to the point where even you had to intervene. She abandoned her kids to run off with some guy then had your dad come get her out of trouble, she has been arrested multiple times. She never takes responsibility for her actions and blames everyone else.

Part of recovery is taking responsibility and righting your wrongs. She on the other hand makes the wrongs worse by acting like a child when she is 30 years old.  

So to escape her nagging and just the horrible mental space you get in whenever she’s around, you moved out to D.C. You went to the FBI academy, went back home to celebrate (which she didn’t come to when she was invited) and then you went back to work at Quantico. 

All your anxieties about her left pretty soon after starting at your job. You knew she wouldn’t call you for help anymore considering you worked for the FBI, also met some amazing people.

Including your wonderful, beautiful girlfriend, JJ. 

JJ had just gotten divorced when she met you, she was apprehensive at the thought of dating someone so soon, especially a girl, she’s always been bi but never dated a girl. But she woman’d up and asked you out. 

Years flew by of you two dating, the kids loved you so much, JJ was shocked at how good you were with kids when to her knowledge, you were an only child. But, you felt guilt curdle in your gut for not telling her. So one night when the boys were finally in bed, you told her everything. From being the youngest, to dealing with your sister's addiction, your assault, your depression and anxiety, you told her the complete story. Every. Single. Chapter. 

She had barely seen you cry, but she saw you bawl at this. She held you and calmed you down, you explained your fear of being judged for Molly’s actions because people might think you are the same to her just because you are half-sisters. You apologized for keeping it from her for years into your relationship.

“Yes, I wish you would have told me but not because I ‘deserve’ to know everything about your past. Because you were suffering in silence, part of being girlfriends is talking about things and getting support from each other. I love you, Y/N. That’ll never change.” She explained. “Also I want to meet your family, I want to meet the strong daughters of hers and be a part of their lives just like you are a part of Henry and Michaels.” 

The next week you two scheduled a visit out there with the kids, you flew back to your home state, legs bouncing anxiously the entire time, she held your hand the whole way. 

The visit went really well, your nieces were obviously protective of you because you were their mother figure while Molly was in rehab and countless relapses. You took care of them and they were very protective over their aunt. 

But, they loved JJ and the boys, as did your entire family. 

When you two went back to work, Morgan speculated that you eloped because of how glowy and light you two seemed. JJ explained that the two of you were just happy and got a mental break to yourselves. 

Your nieces flew out to visit the next year, then JJ proposed the next week. Life was going great, until you got a call from one of Molly’s friends, “what’s wrong?” You answered, JJ looking up from the dining room table worriedly. 

“Molly is with the FBI,” she whispered as if the FBI was listening. 

Your stomach sank, “what do you mean?” 

“..I shouldn’t be telling you.” “You called me Katy!” You yelled, your father's anger coming out. “What did she do that got the FBI involved?” Your phone buzzed again which meant you were getting another call, unfortunately this one was more important. You looked to see JJ on the phone. 

Your thoughts went to the worse, Molly is at Quantico. But JJ was probably just talking to her mom. Her mom called a lot, yeah, that had to be it. 

“She was running a drug scheme and got busted as well as several felonies.” 

“Shit.” You sighed, “do you know where the bureau she’s located at is?” 

“Some place called Quantico.” 

No. No. No. No. 

---------------------------------------------------------

The drive to Quantico was awful and anxiety ridden, JJ held your hand as she drove, the boys were at Will’s. You were calling your dad, telling him not to tell the girls until you know more  because they lived with him. JJ explained that the phone call was Hotch saying the interrogation with your sister was happening and they wanted two of their best agents there. The buzzing during the phone call was Rossi. They didn’t know it was your sister, your last name was common, you’ve run into plenty of people in your line of work with your last name. 

But you were told that you two looked similar, and they’re all smart but you know Reid will put it together before anyone else. Hell, he probably already has. 

You pulled up to the building, there were a bunch of cop cars as well as other Agent vehicles. JJ didn’t hold your hand on the way up to where they all were, she didn’t want it to be obvious that you were in emotional turmoil. 

You met them right before the interrogation room, you looked into the window, she looked horrible. Obviously, she was using again, she had all the signs, every memory from high school came back. Seeing her so skinny and malnourished from the drugs. Her hair was lackluster, it was flat and dull in color, her skin was deathly pale and had many skin breakouts due to how shot her entire system is. 

Garcia filled all of you in everything she’s done. You already knew this though, Hotch gave you a weird look because you wouldn’t stop staring off into space (which showed your anxiety was spiraling bad). You also didn’t chime to help, you just shut down. 

Hotch moved to behind you and touched your back lightly, “can I see you for a moment?” You two slipped out without making it obvious, you were sure none of them noticed but Hotch knows you like a daughter. 

He shut the door to his office, “what’s going on, Y/N?”

You shrugged, “nothing.” 

“I know you’re lying, did you and JJ have a fight that’s distracting you? Is your mental health acting up again?”

“No, God, No. And You know if we have problems we let them go at work to get things done.” You said defensively. 

“Well, both of you are pretty closed off right now, usually you two never leave each other's sides during cases. You aren’t being attentive and aren’t chiming in. If it’s not your mental health or JJ, what is it?” 

You bit your lip nervously, “that woman in there, she’s my half-sister.” 

Well, it was clear he wasn’t expecting that, “It’s not in your file that you have siblings.” “That part was optional, I left it blank for a reason.” 

“What happened?” He asked gently. 

“She chose that life over her family, over her children. We paid for so many facilities and got her help multiple times. She threw it all away. I can’t forgive her for that.” 

He nodded, “think you can go back in there?”

“I want that bitch locked away, Hotch. If you allow me to have that personal vendetta, then yes I want to go back there.” You said, determined. The fire in you igniting more. You would make sure she never saw her kids again. 

He nodded and gestured towards the door, “lead the way.” -------------------------------------------

“I want to go in there to interrogate her.” You spoke, your voice void of any emotion, you got really good at hiding your emotions. Especially around her. 

Rossi nodded, oblivious to the looks JJ was giving you, “sounds like a plan to me, you are the toughest I feel like right next to Hotch and Morgan.” 

You smiled in response, it was light praise to you. 

“Hey Y/N?” Reid asked. 

“Yeah?” You looked at him, pushing a stray hair that fell in your face back. 

“She looks a lot like you, and has the same last name.” He said gently. 

“Yes, she’s my half-sister, Reid.” You said, looking at the entire team's reactions. 

To say they were shocked would be an understatement. 

“Are you sure you should go in there then?” Morgan asked. 

You nodded, “I can do it. I don’t really care if she gets locked away. In fact, I think everyone in my family will be better off.” 

Nobody said anything at your words, then Emily spoke, “go get the confession.” 

---------------------------------------------

You stood outside the door, JJ came up and gave you a kiss, “you got this, babygirl.” 

You blushed, then groaned, “great now I’m gonna be all flustered.” 

She laughed, it made your heart lighter, “I love you.”

“I love you.” You said back, she kissed you again and walked away.

You waited a few moments to open the door, you could do this.

When you opened it, she looked up to see who it was, she saw you and gave you a confused look, “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“If you came to my graduation party, you would know this is where I worked.” You said, like she was stupid. 

“I knew you were in the FBI at least.” “Considering all the laws you’ve broken, I wouldn’t have thought so.” You threw the file on the table, “I’ve already told them about everything you did to my family, to your children. They aren’t so happy and everybody here is dedicated to locking you away. You can’t play the victim card anymore.” You spoke gently, trying to keep nerves out of your voice. 

“Traitor.” She hissed. 

“Hm, you knew you had a relative in the FBI yet you still kept doing bad things, you also have two kids you left for a crime ring so I don't think I’m the traitor here.” You said sitting across from her, you ignored the anxiety in your veins, you wanted to fiddle with your engagement ring but didn’t really wanna talk about JJ with this woman. 

“Tell me what happened,” You leveled her with a look, that same look that your father would give her, the ‘i’m disappointed’ look, she had some feelings, and that look usually worked. “Why would I tell you?” You shrugged, “I don’t know, you bragged about getting kidnapped before so I wonder what you’ll brag about now, maybe seeing the inside of Quantico, maybe how they tried to break you and you resisted.”

“They sent my baby sister in to intimidate me,” she scoffed, “pathetic.” 

“Oh that isn’t my job.” You smiled, you were going to enjoy this. 

“Whose job is it?” She deadpanned, not having any of your shit, but you didn’t care. It was too much fun. 

“The prison guard outside who’s waiting to guide you to prison.” You shrugged.You could feel the ‘Hotch’ look through the glass for telling her so much. 

But you knew how to scare her, how to make her feel like shit. Guilt tripping was the best, hearing her lies, it was almost comical at how ridiculous they were. 

“Your daughters are doing great by the way, they stayed here with me for a week.” It was a great week, Hotch granted you and JJ time off to spend time with them and the boys. JJ even asked for their permission to marry you, she proposed the next week on your anniversary.

She sighed and looked at the mirror, it was like she was staring down your team on the other side. 

You sat in silence for a few minutes, before she spoke. “I’m sorry.” “No.” You simply said, shaking your head. 

“No?” She asked. 

“Don’t say you’re sorry just to say it, I don’t want some apology, you’re going to prison no matter what.” You shrugged. You forbade your emotions getting involved right now. JJ and the team were working overtime to get this confession out in time. 

“Bullshit, I am not.” She insisted, her voice going up a couple octaves. She was nervous. 

“What? You think you’re just gonna walk out of here? You have several federal offenses.” You opened her file, “carjacking, credit card fraud and identity theft alone are going to be up to 30 years in prison.” 

“There’s no proof.” She was just spitting stuff out at this point, she was getting frazzled. Her eyes, eyes that you both shared from your father, were wide and full of fear. 

“There are countless video files as well as credit card traces and millions of other traces. You’ve been on the list for years it seems.” You said, your eyes scanning over everything, every single mugshot, or street camera shot. All the proof was in the folder, you just needed a confession. 

“I know you deal, so just confess and we can both get out of this awkward family reunion.” You spoke, your head resting against your hand.

Her eyes caught on the diamond, “you married?”

“Engaged.” You said calmly. 

“What’s his name?” You rolled your eyes. “You know I’m gay, why do you keep insisiting that I’m into men?” “Oh yeah because you were assaulted, got it.” She acted like she just solved the greatest mystery. 

Your stomach sank even further, “Your ignorance is baffling.”

“Ignorance?”

“Yup, you criticize other people's lives and then once someone throws it back at you, you get offended. You are the queen of hypocrites.” you paused, “that’s what your drug lord name should’ve been.”

“..What?”

“The Hypocrite Queen, has a bite to it, doesn’t it?” You tilted your head, feeling her vibes out. 

“What?” She asked, her voice trembling. She was scared. 

Good. A dark part of you whispered. 

“Sure it doesn’t have as much fire as The Bite. But it’ll do.” You said, nonchalant. As if discussing paint colors. 

“How do you know about any of this?”

You smiled, enjoying her fear and the fact that you’re winning. “You know, I wonder what Adam Davis would think about all of this, or Betty Walsh, Allie Simmers, Jaden Carsdale, Julia Brewermen.” You named off just a few of the people her drugs killed. 

“I don’t know who those people are.” Her voice was barely above a whisper and she couldn’t make eye contact. 

You nodded, “those are the people you killed.” “Drugs killed them.” She clarified without thinking. 

The door behind you opened, you turned to see JJ, “we need you in Garcia’s office.” It was a horrible lie, but you knew it was all done. You nodded, you started getting up when you heard Molly speak. 

“What about family, sissy?”

“That’s rich coming from you, you are the same woman who abandoned her children for some dude you met two days before you left.”

“That was the addiction.”

“No it wasn’t, you did the same thing when you were fifteen, with a twenty six year old might I add; right before you got pregnant with your first born. You weren’t addicted then, so don't blame an addiction you use as a crutch to get through life. Being an addict doesn’t mean you are automatically pardoned from everything you ‘ve done, to me, to dad, to your two kids who are fifteen years old and already know that they never want to see you again.”

“What have I done to you?” She had the nerve to look heartbroken.

Manipulative bitch

“Tried to manipulate me to say I took dads alcohol when I was fourteen, I told you I was gay and you asked if I was gay because I was assaulted. You used my mom and your dad for money, you lied to us, multiple times about so many things that I’ve lost count. You hurt people for your own gain, you are the most selfish person I’ve ever met. You know, I went into a career where I deal with horrible people and now I know why I’m so good at it, because I grew up dealing with a horrible person that was close to me. Someone who hurt multiple people that I love-” “I get it, I hurt people-” “I’m not done! You’ve judged me my entire life and treated me poorly and now, I get to enjoy the fact that I get to watch you get put behind bars forever. You will never see your children again, you will never use our family for money, and people will no longer pity you.” 

You walked out without another word, JJ was right there, she gripped your hand because she knew you needed the support. 

With Molly locked away, you could finally breathe and feel free from her problems. You made all the necessary phone calls to your dad. Booked a flight to go and explain everything to your nieces. 

JJ would be by your side through it all.

[hughiecampbelle]

I know I'm not the only person struggling with their mental health right now, and I know I'm absolutely no expert or anything, but I thought I would offer what I could. I don't normally write these things, but if I can be helpful to one person, then why not? These aren't life changing things that'll magically make all these overwhelming feelings or thoughts go away, but they can help short term, and sometimes that's all we can ask for/manage :) These might not all be unique or something you can do rn, but it's been helping me:

Get out of bed. Personally, I don't have a lot of places to go or sit, especially in quarantine, so I sit on my floor :) Where I live it's been too hot to sit outside, but that's also a really good place! I always end up feeling really bad and guilty when I can't get out of bed or end up staying there all day, so when I go somewhere else to do whatever (read, write, etc.) it makes me feel more productive. It makes me feel more accomplished.

Wash the one blanket you've been wrapped in. Or throw it in the dryer. Even just switching it out for another one can make you feel better because it's clean, and soft, and warm and now it's not associated with all bad days you spent wrapped in it. It's not a reminder anymore because it's been washed or switched out. It's a small fresh start, but it makes a big difference. Plus, all blankets need the same amount of love :)

Read a book. Or a chapter, or even a few pages. Lately that's all I've been able to manage and that's okay! A new book, something you've read a dozen times. You don't even have to start at the beginning. Go to that one chapter you love or that one scene or find those quotes you love. I haven't been able to read a lot lately, but when I have, it's made me feel a lot less lonely. It reminds me why I love it still and it gives me hope I'll be able to read like I used to. For now, a few pages is a big step :)

Clean. But I don't mean reorganize everything and end up with a mess that's too big and too overwhelming to handle right now. I mean getting a wipe and wiping down a dresser or chest or desk. I mean washing a dirty mirror. I mean restacking the book pile in a new way. It doesn't have too be too intense or ask too much of you because when you're feeling like this, everything feels like a chore. Even just vacuuming to feel the warm carpet is enough. Not everything needs a place to go right now and not everything has to be picked up. Just one small area is enough.

Change your wallpapers/backgrounds. This might be dumb, but it made me happy. I changed my computer backgrounds and now they're artsy and cute and every time I open it it makes me feel good. I switch up new pictures of my dogs on my phone wallpapers, too! It's easy, it's mindless, it's not a huge change or a big commitment, but it's something you can control, something you have that can make you feel better. Sometimes, it's little things that make a big difference and we just don't know it.

Watch comforting videos on your phone, ones you've taken. This might be a dumb one, too, but it helps. There's a reason you filmed it, sometimes you forget why. I have dumb videos of my dogs rolling around, and concerts where I'm the one screaming over the songs, and ones of my Nana laughing cuse she doesn't know it's taking a video and not a picture. Sometimes rewarding them can make you feel like you did when you took them. They can be a reminder of when you were happy and excited even when you forget those feelings.

Dye your hair. Permanently, semi-permanently, with that chalk stuff, whatever. Personally, I love change, I need it, but I can't get tattoos or piercings in quarantine and it's driving me bonkers. This is something I can change! It's also something I neglect. I don't brush my hair, I don't give it much thought, doing anything I can to get it out of my face. But, when it's a new color, I'm more thoughtful of taking care of it. I want the color to last and I care about it more when I like the new color. Even just one or a few strands of hair can be enough! It doesn't have to be huge!

Candles!!! Light one, smell one, spray febreeze, whatever! I cannot tell you how many candles I've burned through since quarantine started. The scent fills the room and makes it feel so much more welcoming and comforting. I feel better knowing all the things in my room are gonna smell like that candle. The ones I don't wanna burn yet just sit with the cap off. It makes me feel better knowing my room/are smells good :)

Art! Painting, drawing, writing, etc. It doesn't even have to be in an artistic way, it can be a chore. I had to paint the railing to my front steps because it was rusty and let me tell you, it was the most stress free afternoon I'd had in a long time. It was mindless and simple and I knew I was doing something, accomplishing something, that didn't need a lot of concentration. There are no expectations to create the next museum worthy masterpiece. Simply have fun with it, even if it ends up looking like a littke kid did it. All art is good art, and a healthy distraction.

Games :) I don't really play video games, but I've seen it be really good for my brothers who are dealing with their own issues right now to put their focus into something with an end goal and objectives. I like the app Two Dots which I actually found out about on here! I don't normally like these kinds of games, but I ended up loving this one. It's something to focus on and make you think, trying to figure out the best strategies, it's a distraction that makes you put all your focus in on one thing. Without school work and grades, that's been really hard for me to find.

Even if you can't do any of that right now, I want you to know one thing:

Please don't feel like you're wasting your time because you're trying to get through the day. I know a lot of people don't have school anymore or have lost/can't get jobs right now with everything going on, which means there's a lot of free time now and you're not really sure what to do with it. Let me tell you, you don't always have to be doing something huge and productive. You don't have to be "glowing up". You don't have to be losing weight or working out. You don't have to be reading or studying. You don't have to do anything. Time feels like it's dragging on and that's a lot. It can be overbearing. Some days are filler days, where maybe all you did was laundry or all you did was make your bed and that's okay!!! Even just sitting on the floor and remembering to eat is all we can manage. Quarantine and all this isn't about how you'll end up coming out of this, but if you do at all. I know my mental health has been so rocky and frankly, really scary, and i can only assume a lot of people have been feeling this way, too. If getting to end of it means a day full of movies or taking a day to binge an old favorite show, then that is enough.

Please feel free to add more if you have any, I know I'm in need of any ideas or things I could do to help right now. I hope you're staying safe my loves, staying healthy. Please be a lil nicer to yourselves, more understanding, more kind, and more aware when things start to change. There's nothing wrong with putting your mental health first. I love you all more than I could ever put into words!!! Xoxoxo💜💖💜

[kileyrose-2003]

How Rebecca characters would react to you saying you love them:

A/N: Hello lovelies! I hope you all are doing well and I've missed you all. It's been forever since I've done any writing and I'm sorry. I'm slowly getting to all your fics and request. I mentioned I was having problems with my mental health during the spring. I still am and life has thrown way more twist and turns than I've expected in the past few months. But I'm learning to manage.

This post is for my dear friend @merci-bitch who has been with me through all the twist and turns and dealing with all my craziness. Words can't describe how much it means to me. I love you and thank you for everything. I hope you enjoy and take care of yourselves lovelies!

Rose

Rose has telepathy and many other psychic abilities

Unlike various members of The True, she can read you like a book

At this point in time you'd be a rube

Not to mention she's very smug

She's hot and she knows it

And Rose has no shame

Like I've mentioned before, Rose internalizes affection

She loves The True Knot but her moments of greatest affection are strictly towards you and Crow

So you'd have to tell her in private to get at least a not so cold reaction out of her

But she wouldn't be surprised

She'd smile at you teasingly

Strut towards you with her posture like that of a queen

She'd run her fingers through your hair and smile

Place a small little kiss on your forehead

"I know."

Do not underestimate this woman's cockiness. Crow is not the only one who has a god complex in The True Knot.

And Rose has the greatest one of them all

She won't return the words back at first

Rose has seen so many people come and go over the years

But she will show you how much she loves you and let's say you won't be a rube much longer

Riza

Riza is seductive as hell

But like Rose, she shares her softer moments towards you and only you.

And she also knows she's hot

The two of you would be at home together with Riza looking lovely as always

You'd be in the beginning stages of dating and either be watching a movie together or just cuddling

Riza is totally the big spoon

She'd be a few drinks in and gets bored

"Come darling, let's go have some fun together!"

"Define fun."

This would lead to the two of you stumbling upstairs to Riza's room

She'd be throwing her clothes all over the place as she tried to dress you up

"Oh come on Y/n! Try this dress. You'd look beautiful wearing this to the club."

"Riza, you are drunk."

"And?"

As you continue to rant on about how she did not need another drink her lips would come crashing down on yours

It's unexpected but a very good type of unexpected

By the time the two of you would pull away from the kiss, you'd both be panting

"I love you."

Like Rose she's smug, but it's a grateful smug that leads to her lifting you up that way your legs are wrapped around your waist

"I know and I love you too."

It's a lustful 'I love you' but she does mean

She'd show you how much she loves you too

Kathleen

Now Kathleen is the wild card here because she'd be the one to say I love you first

She's a bit of a drinker and loves a good party

But she is very in touch and has a good sense of how she's feeling over all

She's been in enough relationships to knos when she cares and doesn't care for a person

But she cares for you deeply, you'd know each other from the time you were kids

The two of you would be at a party together and she'd be drunk as hell, she loves her martini's

Kathleen would be kissing you all over and trying to flirt with different people

But you're the one who keeps her under control and stops her from doing anything she'd regret the next morning

You are the responsible one in this relationship but you don't mind

At the end of the night she'd barely be able to walk and she'd stay at your apartment overnight

Subconsciously she'd curl up next to you in her sleep and you'd give a small smile, gently caressing her hair and you'd hold it for her the next morning when she experiences one of her worser hangovers

You wouldn't leave her side and it would mean alot to her

The 'I love you' slips from her lips softly as she starts to recover, fighting on the verge of sleep

You'd happily return the words and place a small kiss on her temples, making her give you that cheeky smile you learned to love

The next time you see her, she'd make sure to have something special set up for you to really reinforce her words

Jenny

With Jenny it would be a very unexpected I love you

You were one of the first people who made friends with her when she decided to tour with the circus

The two of you would go shopping together, have dinner, sing, etc.

So naturally the two of you were close

You knew her like the back of your hand and in return she knew you the same

You never thought you'd grow feelings for her but over time you couldn't help to

Her voice was just so pretty and the way she looked at you made you feel like you were the only person in the world she had eyes for

You knew she thought she loved Phineas though

And that hurt like hell but yet you still couldn't help but have a soft spot for her

She'd come to you crying after Phineas turned her away and you'd be there to comfort her

Even though you really wanted to tell her I told you so

After she'd calm down from crying, you'd hug her for a little

Murmuring a small 'I love you' in her ear

She'd move away from you confused

"You do?"

You were so scared she'd push you away in that moment

She didn't know what to think at first, as part of her was afraid she'd end up hurt again and she was confused

But she gave you the chance and she was glad she did

When she left the circus, she took you with her and neither of you ever looked back

Dinah

Dinah has been hurt alot

But all she really wants is someone to love, who loves her in return just as much or even more

She seriously needs a hug

You met her a little after she gave birth and she always seemed a little sad

You were one of the very few people who treated her with kindness in a long time so she immediately grew close to you

Neither of you had a lot of spare time, as you were trying to balance spending time with her and support your family

Life in the biblical period in Egypt was not easy for women by any means

But the moments the two of you could spend together, you'd cherish

The day you told Dinah you loved her, she was having a really rough day

She felt like she was trapped and alone, and she wanted her son

So you sat there with her, hugging her while she cried

You murmured sweet nothings in her ear, trying to sooth her

And that's when the I love you slipped out

She was scared at first but after sinking it in, for the first time in forever she smiled

She'd almost immediately return the I love you and it made you so happy

The two of you had to sneak around to see each othet after that but every day and second of it was worth it

Rebecca

Rebecca would not be shocked at all

She's a natural snogger and loves to hug people

So the two of you would have a very, openly affectionate friendship

You've known each other for forever

The two of you would be out doing a promotional interview for a movie you both were working on together

And because the two of your personalities blend together, you both would be giggling the entire time

There's zero seriousness with either of you in the same room

Which made Rebecca kind of glad because people on the film set were trying to hit on you, and she distracted you from that

Eventually the interviewer would get a bit annoyed and leave the room for a quick break

The two of you would be laughing still

"If we're like this now can you imagine what we're going to be like when we're old?"

"Same sense of humor but fifty years later. He's right though. You'll still be as pretty as you are today."

You'd give a tiny aww and that's when the I love you would slip out

She'd give your cheek and immediately turn the I love you with her typical, bright smile

God, she's seriously so cute

Ilsa

The I love you that you gave Ilsa was a very scary one and highly unexpected

The two of you have known each other for years and have been close friends

You got paired up for a mission

It was supposed to be an easy in and out

The two of you thought you had everything under control, the room cleared out

And then you got shot

Once in the leg and other time in the stomach

Ilsa immediately took care of the person who hurt you

But she was panicking because you were bleeding bad

She called for help but was honestly scared you weren't going to make it

It was then that you told her you loved her

Ilsa is a strong woman but she did shed a tear or two

"I love you too. Everything is going to be fine. I promise."

When the ambulance finally got there and it was time for them to put you on the stretcher, she refused to leave you

She sat with you the entire time, holding your hand and trying to get you to stay with her

Once you got to the hospital you immediately had to be taken for surgery

You made it through with no complications

When you woke up the next morning she was still sitting by your side and you were so grateful.

You loved her too much to ever want to be away from her again

And she felt the same way. She was just so glad you were okay.

[ateezthings]

ATEEZ Reaction: S/O being really anxious

*Trigger warning*: DO NOT Read this if you’re uncomfortable with talks about mental health, anxiety, eating disorders and depression in particular or if you feel like this could trigger you in any way. Please take care of yourselves.

Angst

Gender neutral

Whining ahead: Since temporarily moving to Korea, my anxiety and depression have been through the roof and I don’t know how to fix it anymore. I don’t know anyone here and it feels like all the other international students have already made friends and I feel left out because I naturally take a really long time to warm up to people in order for me to feel comfortable around them. I’m scared of leaving my room and my anxiety levels are high constantly. I feel like I’m constantly watched and judged and I feel misplaced like I’ve never felt before to the point where I wish I didn’t wake up anymore. I don’t know what’s freaking me out exactly and I don’t know why I thought I could do this since I’ve had mental health issues for many years now. I know I have to endure this until I get back home again so I’m not suicidal but I’ve had a really hard time here. I’m scared of leaving my room to go eat because I’m scared my housemates are gonna judge me for whatever reason. This has gone to the point where I’ve starved myself for a whole day because I was too anxious to leave my room. I feel like every shop employee is judging me for everything. The uni where I’m studying is so huge and confusing and I’m scared of being the only foreigner in my classes. I feel like I’m going insane so I wanted to write this to distract me for a little while. Sorry that this is so angsty and dramatic but I had to get that off my chest.

Seonghwa

‚Seonghwa?‘ You’re voice was merely a whimper.

‚What’s wrong, baby?‘

‚It’s getting worse again, could you come over?‘

- He didn’t need to hear more

- you were sitting on the couch, eyes wide open with worry, fidgeting with your nails, when he arrived

- he immediately put his arms around you

- you could feel his warmth and his steady heartbeat

- after a few moments Seonghwa looked you in the eyes and told you to breath with him: in for 5 seconds, out for 7 seconds

- after that you were able to calm down a little bit

- you spent the rest of the evening cooking together

Hongjoong

Did you eat today, babe?

- This simple text from Hongjoong made your anxiety explode: right you haven’t eaten anything all day, you have to eat. But what? You didn’t want to go outside, not today. But you’re fridge was empty, what were you supposed to do? you needed to buy food bt you couldn’t leave the house because your anxiety was so bad today

- in the end you decided to lie to Hongjoong, you sent him a ‚sure‘ back

- he responded with a ‚don’t lie to me‘

- of course he knew you were lying, so he showed up at your place 20 mins later with some Tteokbokki and his cute smile

- after he greeted you with a sweet kiss, he got two plates and made you sit down at the table

‚You feeling better now?‘

‚A little‘ you smiled, it was nice knowing that someone cared

Yunho

- you were in class, supposed to be dividing up into groups when everyone around you was already in a group

- that was it for your anxiety: no one wants to work with you, what if it was something you said? What if they all secretly hate you and laugh about you behind your back, maybe you should just drop out, but what would you do then? Probably nothing, cause your mental health destroyed everything

- after about 5 minutes your teacher noticed you weren’t in a group so he just randomly put you in one

- you felt everyone staring at you, it was horrifying

- after that class you immediately went home

- Yunho knew something was up when you didn’t respond to his texts the whole day so he decided to drop by your place after his schedule

- you didn’t realize you missed him until he was standing in front of your apartment

- you told him how bad your anxiety was today and he listened to everything you had to say

‚These thoughts that you’re having are just thoughts you know? That’s not the whole reality. And also you’re not on this earth to please the people in your class… You know I love you right?‘

- the whole thing didn’t seem so severe after you talked it out with Yunho

Yeosang

- Yeosang knew the four character long password to your house and also to your room, he wanted to surprise you with his visit

- what he didn’t expect was to see you in fetal position on the floor, shaking and breathing unsteady, having a full on panic attack

- he dropped everything he was holding and tried to put you in a sitting position

‚Y/N? It’s going to be okay, I’m here alright? Can you breath with me?‘

- he made you take a few deep breaths with him

- after you had calmed down a bit you two cuddled in your bed, first he was the big spoon, after a while you requested to be the big spoon

- while you were cuddling you talked to him about what was making you so anxious

- at some point Yeosang wanted to show you some of his favorite calming songs (some of my personal favorites: Coldplay - O / Oktoba - Chance / Before you exit - clouds)

- listening to these songs and having him around made you feel more okay

San

- San asked you out to dinner in the morning, you panicked all day

- you knew he didn’t wanna cause any discomfort for you but it made you anxious: what if you couldn’t find the restaurant, what if you had to wait a long time for San and then people start looking at you, what should you order that you felt comfortable eating around so many people, oh god there would be a lot of people at the restaurant right? You felt extremely uncomfortable around that many people, what if San didn’t have time to walk you home and you had to walk home by yourself, what if there was a burglar waiting for you around the next corner, it surely would be dark outside when you two finished at the restaurant

- all those thoughts were running through your mind, it was overwhelming

- so you asked San if you could just cook something at your place and he obviously agreed, it was much more comfortable that way

- he brought all the ingredients for some pasta, which you both loved

- you spent the evening making a mess in the kitchen, kissing in front of the overflowing pot of pasta water and just making jokes

- a little later you told him about your anxiety

- San was a little shocked when you told him but he reassured you that you could always tell him when you were feeling anxious

Mingi

- it was a miracle you actually got out of bed today

- you told yourself you had to eat, starving yourself was not an option anymore, so you ventured out into the world

- you decided on buying some Kimbap from the convenience store, everything was fine

- until the shop assistant looked at what you were buying and then scanned you from top to bottom with his eyes

- was there anything wrong with your face? Did you look so depressed? They were definitely judging you

- you practically ran out of the shop after paying, heading straight home

- when you looked at yourself in the mirror at home you couldn’t see what the shop employee was staring at which only made your anxiety worse

- having a full fledged panic attack you somehow managed to call Mingi on his phone

‚Babe, are you okay?‘

‚No… I’m uh... having… a panic… attack‘

- honestly Mingi was really freaked out when you told him that

- after a moment he remembered you telling him that he could help you breath very deeply, you two had only faintly spoken about your anxiety and Mingi hadn’t witnessed you having a panic attack

‚Okay babe, now you need to breath very deeply with me okay? Breathe in…1…2…3…4…5 and out…1…2…3…4…5...6…7… Do it with me again!‘

- breathing deeply like that helped you regain control

- in the evening Mingi showed up at your place with some camomile tea and some lavender oil, apparently he read online that these things are supposed to feel you calm

- after that incident he was so sweet and thoughtful towards you, even more than he already was

Wooyoung

- it was a new semester at your new uni/school, this one was much bigger than your previous schools

- at one point you needed to print something important so you went looking for a printer, you knew it had to be on this floor somewhere

- after 30 mins of walking around the same floor you where completely freaked out, all the other people where staring at you like you were dumb or something, this was bad

- but you couldn’t ask people where the printer was because then they thought you were stupid and that also involved social interaction which you avoided at all costs

- so you hid in the toilets

- after panicking in there for about 10 mins you texted Wooyoung

- he replied: ‚I have a break in 15 minutes, meet me at the entrance‘

- he knew you needed help when you were anxious like that

- as soon as he met you he took your hand and guided you to the floor the printer was supposed to be on

- when he couldn’t find it, he just asked a student that was sitting in the hall

- for Wooyoung everything seemed so easy, you admired him for that and you told him that

‚Not at all, but I just freak out at different things, everyone has these moments.‘ and he gave you a little smile

- he invited you to dinner later, where you talked everything out, it really calmed you down

Jongho

(I love this look on him sm)

- you had to go to the embassy to take care of something

- problem was it was on the other side of the city and you had to change trains a bunch of times and also walk a bit and just the thought of getting lost made you sick with anxiety

- so you texted Jongho if he had some time to come with you

‚You’re lucky, we finish early today. Will be at your place in 1 hour‘

- knowing Jongho was gonna be with you eased your mind a little

- even if you got lost you had him, even if the people at the embassy looked at you weird, he was gonna be there with you to help you

- you were safe with him

- he held your hand all the way to the embassy and squeezed it occasionally when he noticed you got too into your anxious thoughts

[yminie]

nine-one-one | uno | pjm (m)

pairing: Jimin x Reader genre/warnings: angst, smut (to come), fluff (to come), oldflame!pairing, detective!jimin, firstresponder!reader, mentions of death, mentions of homicide, mentions of murder, mentions of suicide, mentions of mental health problems, mentions of weapons, explicit language, implied stalking. Words: 10.6k summary: when murder and crime threaten the city of Seoul, there’s a team in place to help keep the public safe, but just what do you do when all your training is to help others, and the one that needs help is actually you?

Working in the field that you do, and for as long as you have, you could almost swear you could tell the kind of day it would be just by the way you felt in the early morning. And days like today gave you a harrowing sense of dread right from the get go.

The darkness still enveloping your room along with the rain smattering along your apartment window when your alarm interrupted your rest was only the beginning. The thick, sticky dregs of sleep still pulling at your tired muscles and lingering long after you dragged yourself into the shower, only withdrawing upon your second cup of coffee.

Sore muscles complain when you’re forced to dig deep into the hallway cupboard in an attempt to find the umbrella you’d stashed within, and you nearly poke your eye out on a stray coat hanger before you manage to find it. Water splashes high on your feet on your walk to the underground subway, enough to wet the hems of your trouser legs, and you curse under your breath when a particularly deep puddle has the top of your ankle sock on your right foot starting to dampen. Quickly, you step under the covering of the subway stairs and try your best not to slip in any more stray puddles.

That same wet smell permeates the air within the carriage, and you try your best not to be thrown into the wet back of the man in front of you as you both hold firmly onto the bars overhead. The humidity that moisture carries seems to elevate the body odour that’s so familiar within the tight carriages, and you’re grateful once more that you don’t actually live too far from your workplace, even if it means you live in the heart of the city.

A quick pit stop into the coffee shop on the corner makes the walk along the last block more bearable, and you’re already halfway through by the time you scan your ID and enter the building. It’s still early, only brushing on around 7am, but the station is abuzz with people no matter the time of day. There are people filing both in and out as you make your way through, some starting their day and some coming to the end, but thanks to the dreary weather outside, everyone looks just as somber as each other.

Climbing aboard the elevator, you sigh as you shrug your coat from your shoulders, and just as the doors start to rattle closed, you hear a familiar voice shout from outside.

“Hold the elevator, please!” Hand shooting forward, you just manage to catch the doors before they close, and seconds later Jimin bustles inside. His arms are curled around a box that's filled to almost overflow, and you feel sorry for the knowledge that it’s no doubt paperwork he’s going to file and delegate to his officers.

The one thing you’ve been asked the most during your time within the bureau had to be ‘is it weird working with your ex-boyfriend?’. Not that long ago, just a few years, it’d been ‘isn’t it weird to work with your boyfriend?’ or, ‘are you even allowed to date someone in the force if you work in the same station?’.

Because, yes, Jimin and you had dated long enough for your friends to question the lack of ring on your third left finger, and yes, the two of you had split after seven years together. But no, it was never weird to work with him.

You’d been together for just a year and a half when he’d been recruited into the force, nearly three years when you’d started your position as a first responder. With the mental strain on both of you from working such jobs, it had worked for the other to understand your moodiness and be their for mutual support. A united understanding and appreciation for what the other chose to do as their career, and it’d worked, for a while.

But things changed when Jimin had been promoted to detective. Your once coinciding shifts now clashing, and the absence of the other quickly becoming too hard to bear as the effort of trying your best to spend time with each other became tiresome, and the intimacy you’d once thrived in had disappeared altogether.

Thus, you’d split as a mutual agreement, admitting both to yourselves and each other that it would be far easier to go on alone without that ghost of a partner that never came to fruition lingering over your heads. And it was easier, your downtime free for you to truly relax and unwind rather than stress, but you’d be lying to yourself if you said you never missed him.

You were teenage sweethearts after all, growing up and going through all the biggest milestones of both your educations and careers together. Always having had the other there to cheer you on and inspire you, Jimin’s boyish charm winning you over time and time again along with his thoughtfulness and love for those he cared about. And for him it was your generosity, your giving nature and that sparkle in your eyes whenever you looked at him. The love between you like no other.

It still hurt to know you’d both let it die.

“God, I feel sorry for your team. That looks disgusting!” Jimin’s eyes curve into crescent moons as he glances from you to the box and back again, and you find yourself smiling back at him automatically, his amusement contagious.

“I definitely don’t miss doing this kind of paperwork!” He shuffles slightly in place as he gets a better grip on the box, and the two of you stand in a comfortable silence as the doors close with a ding and the metal box whirs slightly as it starts to move.

“Are you finishing soon?” Jimin nods, looking over you slowly as though inspecting, and you feel your insides warm at the way he still gives you his close attention.

“Yeah finish as soon as these papers are filed. You don’t look like you slept too well last night, make sure you eat a good lunch.” The doors roll open and he smiles gently at you as he prepares to step out onto his floor, the room beyond even busier than the first level as people bustle back and forth while they rush to complete their work.

“Remember to eat before you go to sleep. And it’s getting cold, time to stop turning the fan on too high or you’ll get sick.” Jimin laughs heartily as he steps out of the elevator, turning back to smile wistfully at you before he gets nabbed by one of his officers, and you find yourself grinning even after the doors close on his back and continues on to your floor. You still knew each other so well even after all this time.

Turning a blind eye to the idea that your small chat with Jimin had improved your mood, you walk to your desk with a slight pep in your step, smiling gently at your coworkers as you pass them and offering a supportive nod at those on a call with furrowed brows and shaky voices.

That was the thing about working as a first response attendant; you could never know what kind of call was going to come through next. You yourself had been subject from things as mundane as a pet stuck up a tree to draining calls involving countless minutes of gently spoken words talking someone down from the edge as they contemplated ending their life. Life in the station was truly like a box of chocolates; if some were deluxe caramel, and others were full of sewerage.

Solar comes back to her desk just as you drape your coat over the back of your chair, and she lifts her coffee up in salute before taking a long sip, rolling towards you on her chair as you fix your earpiece onto the side of your head.

“It’s been stupid crazy this morning, I’m warning you. What is it about rainy days that make people so much dumber than usual? Someone tried to call an ambulance from me because they sprained their ankle slipping over, like, what?” She stares at you, baffled, and you chuckle quietly into the back of your hand as you wait for your computer to boot up. Days were always a little less grueling with her by your side.

“The traffic out there today was an accident waiting to happen. Won’t be surprised if we get lots of angry collision-related phone calls today,” Solar nods with a groan, but the two of you are quickly distracted as the line in your ears start to ring, and you quickly jump on your first call of the day.

__________

It’s only an hour or so into your shift when the coffee starts to kick in, and without hesitation you quickly shut your line and put your earpiece aside, fingers massaging around your ear as you arch your back in an indulgent stretch. The office is quiet for now, only the gentlest hum of white noise as many calls and conversations in blend into one, and your footsteps echo louder the further you get down the main corridor, turning into the bathrooms.

Relieving yourself as quickly as you can, you drift around the corner back into the hall, fully intending on heading straight back to your desk, but a dark shape in the corner of your eye catches your attention, and the sight pulls you to a stop in the break room doorway.

“I didn’t see you come upstairs. Are you okay?” The front of Jimin’s hair is getting a bit longer than usual, darkening at the roots as his hair grows out of it’s dye job, and the way it drapes around his forehead betrays the notion of stressed fingers running through the strands. His head automatically lifts upon the sound of someone speaking, but he doesn’t bother to stay guarded when it’s you, composure bleeding away into visible signs of anxiety. “I thought you’d be gone by now.”

His skin is sunken and devoid of colour, the muscle in his jaw ticking as his expression refuses to ease, and you find yourself stepping forward before you can think twice.

“I was getting ready to leave and then...the paperwork for last weeks case came back in.” Jimin lifts his hands to rub over his tired eyes, and the light glints off the same ring you bought him for his birthday four years ago, firmly fit on his right pointer finger.

“Ah, I see.” And you do. You know exactly the one, and you know just how profoundly the suicide case of fourteen-year-old Seo Ju-hyun had hit Jimin. Only fourteen, so fresh and new to the world and yet so rought by struggle and sadness. The day the call had come in you’d been in the office, a first hand witness to just how awful it’d been for everyone, and given Jimin’s personal history within his family, suicide was always going to be a struggle for him.

You’d never met his sister, but the heaviness of her death had lingered within Jimin for many, many years. Park Seo-yeong had been a bright, bubbly girl, who to her parents and brothers’ knowledge had many friends and great grades. But even those things couldn’t stop a certain pain from growing within her as well. She’d been sixteen when she’d taken her own life, and you never ever forgot the dates September 3rd and July 21st, from birth till death, and the little rose scented tealight candles Jimin would light each year beside her photograph in his lounge room; a silent, sweet remembrance of her spirit.

“When are you able to go home?” Leaning your hip against the table he sits at, you ignore the itch in your fingers that urge for you to reach out and brush the messy hair back from his forehead, a force of habit.

“Reports are processing so, very soon. I just...had to get away for a minute.” You know exactly what he means, the buzz and rush of the officer departments downstairs. With Jimin being one of the detective heads, he especially didn’t get much chance to breathe, always someone around the corner to pull him aside or ask him for his advice.

“You know you’re welcome up here any time, Mr Kim Seokjin wouldn’t dare tell you no.” Jimin’s lips lift at one side at the mention of your department head, and the knowledge of his penchant for a soft side, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“And I appreciate it as always.” Jimin stands slowly, the drag of his chair against the linoleum floor grating on your eardrums, and the two of you wince in tandem before he refocuses on you. “And I appreciate you. Thank you for checking up on me.”

This time you can’t help yourself, even if it is just a gentle hand on Jimin’s bicep. The muscle flexes automatically in reaction to your touch, but he quickly relaxes into your comfort, body almost leaning even closer towards you. But you merely pat his arm gently before leaning back and fixing him with a small smile before speaking. “Old habits die hard.”

“_____, sorry I didn’t want to interrupt, but I’m leaving now and we really need you on the floor.” Another of the first responders, Lee Taemin, has popped his head around the breakroom door, and is now regarding both you and Jimin with a sheepish look on his face. The two of you break apart quickly, Jimin clearing his throat quietly, and you walk round the table with a nod.

“I’m coming right now, go clock out!” Taemin smiles gratefully, tilting his head in farewell towards Jimin before disappearing once more, and you only pause in the doorway to look back for a few seconds, finding Jimin with his eyes still on you. “I meant it when I said eat something before bed. And use that lavender aromatherapy scent in your diffuser when you go to bed, it’ll help you sleep.”

“Yes, mum.” Jimin’s face finally breaks out in a grin, and his crescent moon eyes and shining cheeks are the last thing burnt into your brain as you make your way back to your desk with hurried footsteps.

You’ve learnt over time there’s nothing you can say to make the hurt feel better, especially not for those so rawly exposed to it every day. You can only be there should those people need your shoulder to cry on or your hand to hold.

__________

The weather seems to stay consistent for the days following, the storm so strong the sound of rain and thunder reaches you within the building, and you’re just finishing up some emails when Taemin leans around Solar to whisper to you.

“Have you heard about the new case they picked up downstairs?” You glance at your friend between you, hearing her sigh softly as she advises the caller for a third time that he should be calling the non emergency line, before shaking your head at him. “Minho was telling me about it on his break, apparently some wacko is getting around the near suburbs leaving behind young girls they’ve strangled to death.”

“I heard about that this morning.” Solar seems to finish up her call finally, and you’re not surprised that she’d overheard, watching as she throws her earpiece down with frustration. “All the girls look the same right? Same colour hair, similar length, same colour eyes.”

“Bitter over an ex girlfriend maybe?” Your eyebrows are furrowing into a frown as you speak, brain working hard to think of all and any other possibilities. “Wouldn’t be the first time a killer used it as motive. Those poor girls…”

“He’s up to three now. First was found nine days ago.” Taemin and yourself look at Solar in surprise. “The general police service were regarding it as normal homicide but have decided it calls for further investigation. Which is why they’ve only passed it on this week.”

“Nine days...Three girls. That makes one every three days.” Silence falls over the three of you as you finish speaking, and only the beeping in yours and Taemin’s earpieces breaks the haze of sadness that had overcome you. He wheels back over to his desk in a flash, accepting the call, and you pause for a few seconds to breathe before accepting your own. “What is your emergency?”

Two days pass, the week rolling into your last day of work before your two days off, and you can't get your mind off the conversation you’d had with Taemin and Solar. Even knowing how hard the detectives would be working to solve the crime and find the killer, you could suppose it was that classical fear you were taught to have as a young woman that had you pondering the dangers that still lurked in the night.

It’d been the talk of the office since news had broken, everyone and their mother knowing the names of the victims, curious eyes drawn by temptation to peek into the offices downstairs upon passing for the chance to see the faces. But not you.

Perhaps it was due to time, being in the position you were for so long, you’d come to grow out of that temptation of knowing. Now, you didn’t want to know, you simply wanted it to stop. You’d seen, heard, and felt too much loss and pain first hand, and for the wellness of your soul you could only take so much.

Broken from your reverie by the ever grating chime in your ear, you sigh and accept the call, blinking slowly as your hands hover over the keyboard in front of you.”Hello, what is your emergency?”

The line crackles and for a second you think you’re not connected, but you identify the repeated noise a sharp breaths too close to the microphone, and you ask again. “Hello, can you hear me? What is your emergency?”

“Kill me, kill me, kill me.” You almost flinch at the sudden voice, deep, scratchy and thick with distress. “Fuck, please! Let me die, let me die–”

“S-Sir, are you alright? I can get you whatever help you need, you just need to tell me where you are–” your heart starts to pound in your chest, and you can feel your fingers twitch as you try your best to stop them from shaking.

“Don’t need help.” He cuts you off, voice cracking. “D-Don’t need help. Not me, not me–”

“Sir, please take a deep breath and try to stay calm, what is your address?” you speak as gently as you can, taking another quiet breath as an omen to your own advice.

“I didn’t-didn’t want to do it! She m-made me! She made me do it!” There is a scuffling on his end of the line and you can hear his breath rate start to climb again. “S-She made–she made me.”

“What did she make you do, sir?” You can feel eyes on you, a burning gaze on your cheek, but you ignore it in favour of staring deep into the recesses of your computer screen, hands starting to shake.

“Didn’ wanna! Why’d she make me?” The male on the other end of the call starts to sniffle and hiccup, and you don’t have to see him to know he’s crying. “Why?”

Your fingers fly across your keyboard as you type as quickly as you can, and you can hear the computer whirring as it starts to process through the many files needed in order to scope across the phone service. Code after code flies by as it works hard on pinpointing the location of the service tower your caller is closest to, and you try your best to keep things calm as you wait.

“Are you hurt, do you need an ambulance?” His breath rating is further climbing as muffled sobs reach your ears, and you can feel your heart pounding as you watch the processing percentage reach 80%. Thirty seconds more and you’ll be closer to reaching your caller.

“Not hurt, not me.” He takes a shuddering breath that you can almost feel within your own lungs. “B-But she–she made me, I swear!” 89%, 90%, 91%...

“What, sir?” You finally become desperate, preparing to open a joint line in order to contact dispatch. “What did she make you do?” 96%, 97%...

“K-Kill. She made me kill.” 98%...

Your heart stops. And the line drops, dial tone echoing through your ear.

__________

“Did you hear?” Solar asks as she places a fresh cup of coffee beside you, and you nod slowly, feeling the kink still sharp in your neck, a clear sign of the horrendous sleep you’d been suffering the past few days.

“Of course I heard. Detective Jung came and spoke to me about it first thing this morning.” You’d even been requested to come into work early this morning, surrendering your network details in order for the detectives to access the recording of your conversation with the man. You’d been unsuccessful in tracking his call, but they assured you in a case such this, even the slightest points of evidence were crucial and beneficial.

“So it’s true then. They think the man that called you is the killer that’s been getting around?” Solar leans close to you, and you can feel the way the others in the room starting to stare and eavesdrop. “The one that killed those girls?”

“You already know the answer to that.” She finally breaks her stare on you and you see guilt flicker over her expression.

“Sorry, I know you’ve been upset. I shouldn’t have…” She starts to backtrack as you knew she would, but you shake your head and lift your mug to sip the hot caffeine before you.

“It’s fine, I’m fairly sure you’re not the only one that’s been wanting to speak to me about it.” You glance around automatically, not missing the way the occupants of your neighboring desks quickly glance away. You can’t really blame them though, usually the involvement of anyone from first response ends at the ending of the call, rather than directly involved in an investigation.

You leave your desk to relieve yourself in the bathrooms, and when you come back it’s to one of the young female responders talking to Solar, a frown marring her normally pretty features.

“It was really weird, though, I knew the call connected but they hung up straight away.” The girl looks up at your approach, and you immediately join in the confusion, tilting your head at her as she reiterates the event again. And then Solar connects to a call, just to leave everyone frozen in place. “It was just their–”

“What is your emergency?” A few seconds pass, and Solar immediately looks up at the younger girl, mirroring her horrified expression. “Hello? Are you there? What is your–”

Her face transforms into shock, and as you sit back in your chair, she turns to the younger girl. “I–”

“The breathing?” At her nod, you share a look before slipping on your headset, jumping in your seat as it automatically starts to beep with an incoming call. The two girls beside you lean closer almost involuntarily, curiosity swimming in their eyes.

“What is your emergency?” Your tongue suddenly feels paper dry as you speak, sticking to the roof of your mouth, but it’s nothing compared to the way your blood starts to immediately turn cold.

“Why! Why did you do it!” Your eyes shut as flashbacks race through your mind, and your fingers run across the keyboard before you so hard it slips against the desk. “I didn’–didn’t wanna!”

“Sir, I need you to take a deep breath and stay very calm for me okay?” Data levels pop up immediately, and you open up a line with the phone on the lower level, hearing it beep lowly in the background of your call as the line rings and rings. Your lip aches as you chew on the swelling flesh, deja vu hitting you hard as the scanning percentage rises just as slowly as last time, and the desperation rushing through your blood has your skin burning from the inside out.

“GOD, LET ME DIE, PLEASE–” His sudden screams have you flinching hard, breath escaping you, and you can just hear Solar whimper in panic beside you, not bothering to turn and see her distraught expression. “Let me die, please. Kill me, kill me–”

“This is Detective Park, how can I help you response unit?” You’re at work, and you know it, but something in your panic has your brain short circuiting, and you lose all sense of protocol as you barely remember to switch your line to the internal transfer. You can still hear his begging, but you can’t give him the priority.

“J-Jimin! He’s back. The caller is back, he–”

“Are you on the line? Get me his details, _____,” You can faintly hear Jimin turning away from the phone as you watch the percentage continue to rise, and for a few seconds there is nothing but a tense silence on your end as the data peaks–

And you’re in, an automatic scan of Seoul shows on your screen, and you hurriedly type as you do your best to then pinpoint his exact location.

“Jimin he’s pinging within range of the southwest tele service.” Jimin repeats what you’ve said to whoever he has helping him on his end of the line, and you cut away as the system starts to almost erratically scan through each zone, switching yourself back to the receiving line.

“Sir, I need you to take deep breaths for me okay? I’m going to help you, I just need you stay calm.” The man is in hysterics, and you almost feel bad lying to him. But you force yourself to remember he was a killer, and he needed to be caught before he kills again.

“You can’t help. No–no one can help!” You flinch again as you hear him lash out, the sound f something shattering reaching you through the line, and your heart thumps so hard against your ribs you fear it might just break through. “No one, no one, no one!”

He has yet to notice the way you’re going silent ever so often, and for that you’re thankful, but you know it’s only a matter of–

“She made me do it! She made me!” You cant help the way tears are starting to well over in your eyes, and you jump with a gasp as Jimin shouts your name, trying hard to break through the wall you’re muffling it all behind in your overwhelmed state.

“_____! Sweetheart, you need to breathe, okay?” Only now do you notice the way your chest is shuddering as you start to sob, and the heavy hand you feel on your shoulder is inevitably Solar as she stands by your side.

“He’s–” You take a breath, sniffling slightly as you blink the wetness out of your eyes, hard. “Pinging south-westerly refined into a range of around twenty miles–”

Red flashes across your screen, and the silence that’s now resounding in your ear is so loud even devoid of his screaming that it takes you a few seconds to understand.

The signal is gone.

“_____?” Jimin prompts you again, and you feel disappointment give the same rush of emotions from before a heavy shove as you embody the feeling, slumping forward onto your desk as you bury your face into your hands, a sob escaping you. “Oh, darling.”

“–around twenty miles refined, south westerly, pinning him within radius of Incheon and Yongsan-Gu. C-Call disconnected before further identification could be made. Time is 16:23, the eleventh of the fifth, two thousand and nineteen.”

__________

“I am truly sorry to have to bring you down here, _____. I know the calls have affected you quite...profoundly. I can assure you we’re taking every precaution in order to make this as stress free for you as we can.” Detective Jung is telling the truth, but you both know nothing would ever make listening to that call again any easier. But it’s never easy in this line of work, that you’d come to know faster than anything in the force.

“I’ll do anything for these calls and deaths to stop happening, detective.” Jung nods solemnly at your sureness, and for a moment he stands with his lips parted, lungs full as he attempts to say something, only to stop himself and shake his head with a gentle smile.

“And I commend you on it.” He gestures with his hand to guide you back out of his office, joining you as you both walk through the bustling floor outside towards the elevator, and you’re standing before the metals doors waiting as Jimin materialises by your side.

“It’s your day off today. Why are you here?” Jimin shoots a reproachful look towards his partner, and Jung merely smiles sheepishly before stiffening his form and walking away, nodding to you as he departs. “You’re meant to be resting–”

“Aaand I will be the moment I get home, so you don’t have to stress.” You feel strangely underdressed and unkempt in your tshirt, jeans and hair still damp from the rain outside; watching the officers walk by in full uniform and looking at Jimin dressed in his business shirt and slacks. His jacket is missing though, no doubt draped over the back of his chair, and you have a clear view of the utility belt he still has attached around his waist, gun clearly in sight on his right hip and handcuffs shining on the other.

“Are you done here now?” You nod and when the elevator dings, he joins you inside. “Good, have you eaten?”

“Not ye–”

“_____, if you are still on the premises please make your way to the RU. _____, to the RU, priority one.” Regardless of the fact the doors are still open, you hear the PA loud and clear through the speaker above you, and both Jimin and yourself turn to look at each other. Your finger shifts from where it had been preparing to press the button for the ground floor, moving instead to the fourth, and you watch as the little number lights up and the doors close.

“Did they need you for something?” You almost jump at Jimin’s slight nudge to your arm, and he frowns slightly at how jumpy you’ve become, and though you’re ready to blame it purely on tiredness, it’s no use; he could read you like an open book.

Instead, you simply shrug and wait silently as the elevator makes it’s way up, ignoring the perspiration starting to bud along your skin; a clear sign of your anxiety. And the moment the doors open onto your floor, you knew you were right to feel scared.

The second elevator dings open beside the two of you as you step out, detective Jung and a few of his officers quickly stepping out, and Jimin immediately shifts into detective mode as he steps to stand at his partners side. You automatically go to join him as he immediately asks Hoseok what’s going on, but before you can eavesdrop for info, Taemin is running over to you, the young girl from the other day that you’d learnt the name of to be Jung Yein, though no relation to the detective beside you.

“_____! It’s–”

“Happening again!” The two of them are slightly out of breath, and you hold your hands up a soothing manner.

“What is happening again? Guys, breathe, it's okay–” but your attempts at calming them down are ignored.

“The call is coming in but the moment we answer it the caller disconnects!” You share a look with Jimin, and much to his obvious disdain you immediately take off through the floor, weaving through tables until you reach your desk. The group follows you closely, Jimin attempting to advise you to stop, but detective Jung lays a hand on his arm that you don’t see, and it’s enough to silence him for now.

Your fingers work purely from muscle memory as you log yourself into the server, and it’s a tense wait as your computer boots itself up and connects to the service, all of you watching as the little signal pops up in the bottom corner. Faster than you can think, you slot your earpiece onto your head and start to wait, glancing side to side as your coworkers stand in an intense silence right along with you.

The call barely beeps once and your hand flys forward to the answer key immediately, your motion followed quickly by Jimin's arm beside you, and it’s not until you’re answering the call that you realise what he’s doing. “What is your emergency?”

The sound of your voice comes through the landline phone atop your desk, and Jimin tones down the sound until it’s only just comfortably hearable, leaving the entire group to bear witness to the call as it all begins.

“Please, please! I want to die, why won't he let me die?!” Yein covers her mouth in shock, muffling the whimper that immediately escapes her, and somewhere in the back of your mind you compute the motion of her turning to bury her face into Taemin’s shoulder, his own soft features hardened and upset. “Please, tell me! Tell me!”

“Tell you to do what, sir?” Your hands are already shaking, the vividness of memories his voice triggers in your mind, but Jimin’s hand is resting close enough on the back of your chair that you can feel the warmth, and you force yourself to take a calming breath. “I can help you, all you need to do is tell me–”

“You wanna help me?!” You flinch aggressively as his voice comes through loud and dark, harsh enough that the entirety of your group surrounding the desk leans back slightly, varying levels of discomfort marring their features. All except Jimin, who’s gaze you can feel burning against your cheek, and when you turn to glance at him nervously, you find his expression devoid of any fear, pure anger alight in his eyes instead. “Tell me to jump!”

“J-Jump?” Your voice shakes involuntarily as you speak, and your lips stick together firm enough you part them with your tongue, ignoring the pang of pain as the dry skin almost splits. “Where are you, sir?”

“Up high.”

By now your system is up and running, calculating just like every other day his approximate location, and as the scanner moves into the file maximum of 20 miles, your heart starts to pound beneath your ribs. Fine tuning your program, you scan the new radius and watch as the fine tuning starts to roll through every phone service and connect phone within the area. It’s not that slow, around 6% every second, but you know by now that every single second is crucial, and as he starts to wane and sob, you find yourself scrambling for more time.

“I can help you! I promise!” He starts to deny you once more, threatening to jump and end it all, but you refuse to lose. “Trust me, I can make sure you’re nice and safe where he–” you glance at Jimin again, finding his stare still hard and focused on you “–he can’t make you do things anymore.”

“Y-You–” a painful wracking breath choke through him, and for a few moments of silence you think the call has dropped yet again, but then his voice comes through in a hushed whisper, “–you promise?”

“Yes, yes I promise!” The fine scrubbing moves in even closer, now at five miles, and you watch as the zone gets closer and closer to the building you’re all currently in. The group of detectives behind you start to shuffle nervously, the idea of the killer being so close clearly making them uncomfortable and even a little nervous. “You can trust me!”

“NO!”

You jump so hard in your seat, you slam your knee into the underside of the table, and fear freezes you in place as you gasp for air, fingers tight on your earpiece with the temptation to rip the infernal device from your ear. Unable to even feel the pain in your leg.

“Liar! You’re lying! You can’t help me! No one can help me!” Yein is openly crying into Taemin’s shoulder now, and you don’t even notice when he pulls her away, cradling her against his chest as she starts to breakdown into a panic. “All you ever do is lie! Stop lying!”

“Please don’t jump!” You can hear the wind loud in your ear as the air rushes past him on the other end of the line, and watching as the zone closes in, you’re suddenly struck by the idea of him standing atop Banpo Bridge, waiting for his time to jump. “I want to help you, please, let me help you!”

“I don’t believe you–!” The entire room stands stagnantly still as you stare hard at your screen, the infuriatingly familiar dial tone echoing through the room for a few moments until Jimin reaches forward and hangs up the landline.

“_____…” You can feel everyone’s eyes on you as you stay frozen in your seat, your only movement the sharp in and out of your chest as you gasp for air. But that confused, overwhelmed sadness quickly gives way to frustration, and you slip from his grasp before Jimin can hold you tightly in place, feet slapping against the floor as you run full steam ahead down the corridor and into the restroom.

He’d seen the glint of tears welling over your eyes before you’d run, leaving behind the clash of your earpiece landing abandoned on your desk, and he can only sigh softly before ordering his men into action. Jung gets to work on the analytics, immediately in contact with the tech team in order to request the recording of the phone call they’d all bore witness to, and once everything's in order, Jimin let’s himself sneak away after you.

“Knock, knock.” The sound of hurried sniffling and rustling reaches him through the door, and Jimin gently raps his knuckles against the wood, waiting for you to compose yourself enough to accept him.

“Come i-in.” He can’t help but frown, his own heart heavy in his chest at the sight of you all blotchy-faced and teary-eyed. It’s been a good few years since he’d seen you in such a state, but time had done nothing to dull just how awful your crying made him feel.

“I have lunch now. Come, let me take you home, my cars downstairs.” Jimin doesn’t approach the situation at hand, and for that you’re grateful, but you’re automatically shaking your head as he steps into the bathroom, barely sparing a glance for the few stalls to his side.

“Doesn’t detective Jung need to talk to me again?” Jimin continues to walk closer, shoes clicking slightly against the floor, and when he gets close enough he reaches out to grab the tissue roll from beside you, breaking off a piece to dab at a stray tear you’d missed on your jaw.

“Not today.” The finality in Jimin’s voice eases your stress, but something in the back of your mind notes that he’s probably made that decision on his own, rather than having spoken to the other detective about it. “Come. It’s storming even worse outside and I’m not letting you down into the subway in this weather.”

__________

“Another body showed up after the last call didn't it?” Your voice is grating against your dry throat, a mere whisper, but Jimin hears you all the same within the car, only the gentle pitter pats of rain on the windscreen interrupting you. You’re in traffic, as is to be expected of the late afternoon in the city, and sitting in one spot is making it harder to get your mind off what had happened.

“You don’t need to worry about it.” Jimin’s thumbs tap against the inner rim of the steering wheel, and your gaze catches on the bracelet glinting on his wrist, swaying with the slight movement of adjusting his hold. “What you do need to worry about is getting a cold. You should have a proper rain coat on, don’t just rely on the sidewalk awnings.”

He’s referring to the dampness of your hair from being drenched earlier, and you automatically run your fingers through the tangled strands. Not that he’s one to talk, the shoulders of his white business shirt slightly see through from having jogged through the rain to his car in the parking lot in order to bring it round for you to get in.

“Hmm.” You hum, having nothing of substance to say to him, and he sighs in response to your cold attitude, still feeling the stiffness of your undereyes from the salty tears they’d shed earlier.

Another few minutes pass –ten, maybe even fifteen– and the car had come a few blocks, when Jimin finally speaks up again, and his gentle question catches you off guard.

“Why do you do it?”

“What?” You’ve involuntarily turned to stare at him in surprise, finding him already looking at you as the brake lights from the car in front tinge red across his feature. His head is tilted, leant back against the headrest, and the angle he’s resting at leaves his jawline sharp and eyes slanted in the same way they’d first attracted you when he was just eighteen. Albeit now his face is a lot slimmer and more defined, lines from stress and natural age starting to marr his forehead and emphasise the crinkles of his eyes when he smiles. He was nearing on thirty, but he was still just as handsome as ever.

“Try so hard to talk him out of killing himself.” You blink at him in shock, lips frozen apart as you grasp for something to say, but come up empty. At the look on your face though, he starts to backtrack a little. “I know, I know it sounds awful. But he’s a killer, and there’s something about it that just makes me think...you know. Might just be a little easier if he’s choosing that path himself.”

“It’s just not right.” It’s not easy to reason with, because you know where Jimin is coming from, but you’re too set in your ways to think differently no matter what the person has done. ���Suicide...it’s the easier way out for him. It’s not a punishment for his crimes by any means. Besides…” you start to trail off, but resolve your hesitance when you lock eyes with Jimin once again, “people don’t just kill themselves for nothing. Something’s not right with him, he’s...sick. And I can’t just stand by and let anyone commit that crime against themselves.”

“I didn’t fail to notice that he calls the emergency line until he gets in contact with you.” Jimin ignores the hesitance in your voice and moves on, the both of you knowing suicide to be a touchy subject for him. “I don’t like that one bit.”

“Jimin, I’m sure it’s not that serious. I spoke to him the first time he rang–”

“No, you didnt.” Jimin cuts you off, and you glance at him sharply, even as he keeps his eyes on the road, speeding up as the traffic starts to ease. “He’d already killed three girls before you spoke to him. And he’d had no bias opinion on who he wanted to speak to then.” Fear is a heavy drop of ice scalding you as it settles in your stomach, and you stay frozen in your seat, unable to look away from his lips and he speaks. “And now he won’t talk to anyone else.”

“Y-you don’t think he–” you can’t help the way you stutter, and Jimin’s eyes flicker to yours quickly before returning to the road. The feeling of his warm palm settling against your thigh makes you jump, but you quickly clutch at his fingers upon realisation, the familiarity of the feeling a small comfort.

“He’s not getting anywhere near you.” Jimin squeezes your cold digits, thumb stroking back and forth on the top of your hand. And you believe him, you really do, but that fear of the unknown leaves you sick to the stomach.

__________

Cold fingers wrap around your throat, burning your skin like fire as the faceless man squeezes your delicate windpipe, and you can feel the heat of his breath hitting your face as you gasp for air. You’re trying your hardest to reach up to his hold, attempting to loosen his grip and give you some sort of leeway to breathe, but your limbs are heavy and slow, sluggishly dragging behind an invisible weight as you kick your ever weakening legs.

“You told me you would help me!” His voice doesn't come from the dark shape before you, but from all around, and sharp pains stab in your ears at the volume of his shouting. “You told me! But you lied!”

“P-plea-suh!” Your head aches as your eyes start to roll back, chest burning with the effort of trying to draw in air but coming up empty, and numbness starts to creep in around the edges, starting in your toes and fingers, spreading through your bones and up your body.

Tap-tap-tap!

The faceless man’s head shoots to the side, knocking against a door somewhere in the distance throwing his attention off kilter, and you eagerly draw in the little bit of breath the distraction grants you.

“H-Help! Help me!”

“Fuck you!” His hold on you returns tenfold, and you can hear the sickening pop in your ears as ligaments and cartilage start to shift under his strength, and your best attempts to struggle become futile as unconsciousness approaches. The knocking of the door is still happening in the distance, becoming harder and harder to hear, and just as you blink your eyes one last time, you hear him once more. “You lied, and now you’re next.”

__________

Gasping desperately, you almost bolt out of your mass of bedsheets the moment your eyes fly open. Your hands are already on your neck, inspecting the damage before you fully come to, and the revelation that it was merely a nightmare has you releasing a shuddering breath, almost relaxing back against your pillows.

But then you hear it, the same noise that had leaked into your unconsciousness, and your body tenses almost painfully.

A gentle knock is echoing through your apartment from the door, and the sound has your skin crawling as you do your best to block out any more images of the horrific sights your nightmare had conjured up. Carefully, quietly, you climb from your bed and wrap yourself in the fluffy dressing gown draped across the end, tying the waist tight as you tiptoe through your apartment onto to come to a pause as the knocking no longer occurs.

You’re almost convinced the knocker is gone, when the sound happens again, a little bit louder than the last, and your fingers close in on the baseball bat resting just beside your entryway as you lean carefully in to hold your eye level with the peep hole…

Only to sigh in relief and shake your head at your own fear.

“Hey!” Your next door neighbor Taehyung greets you heartily, a surprised smile boxy across his cheeks, and you can’t help but smile at him yourself.

“Hey, whats up?” Taehyung gives you a once over, inspecting your state of underdress, and tilts his head curiously.

“I was almost ready to give up on my knocking, but I didn’t hear you leave for work this morning and I’m in desperate need of a plastic bucket if you have one?” You quirk your brow and laugh under your breath, not missing the way he flutters his lashes at you hopefully, and his smile only grows when you nod and invite him inside, immediately heading for your kitchen sink. Opening the cupboard below, you reach inside and take out his requested bucket, emptying it of it contents before you surrender it, a few cloths and a spritz bottle of shower cleaner that you’d forgotten you’d had.

“To what do you owe the requirement of my plastic bucket?” He takes the said item with a smile, a quiet thanks leaving his lips as the two of you make your way back to the front door.

“Got another leak in my apartment and one buckets being used in the bathroom for the one in there.” You screw up your face in an expression of disgust and he laughs. “Yeah, I know right?”

“Isn’t the landlord going to fix that for you? It’s been like that for ages!” You ask him, though you’re fully aware how unreliable landlords could be. But in your experience the older gentleman that owned your building was nothing but lovely, certainly not the type you’d thought to be one to inconvenience his tenants.

“Oh, he is! But in order to get up and fix my roof they need the water to be dried out. Which is kind of hard considering the way it keeps raining every week!” You hum in understanding as you lean against the frame of your apartment door, and the two of you nod in sync as he grins at you again, moving to turn back towards his own apartment before pausing. He seems a little hesitant when he faces you again, but he doesn’t step any closer. “You’re normally at work by now. Is everything okay?”

“Hm? Oh! Yeah, I’m fine just–” you grasp for the right thing to say, waving your hand in the air for a moment before giving up and letting your arm fall, shrugging instead, “–just needed a day off. Back to normal tomorrow, though.”

“Oh, okay.” He stands there for a few more moments, licking his lips as he contemplates saying something else, and you simply wait for him with a brow raised, left leg starting to ache with the way you’re leaning all your weight against it. “I...saw you get dropped off by a guy in uniform yesterday. Made me feel a little worried.”

“Oh, that’s just Jimin! He gave me a lift because of all the rain, didn’t want me out in the subway in this weather.” Taehyung's smile looks a little lacklustre, though he doesn’t give you the time to wonder why.

“Jimin-Jimin? Like your ex Jimin?” You nod silently, starting to feel a little uncomfortable at the displeasure tinging the edges of his voice. “Huh...okay.”

“Taehyung, is everything oka–?”

“I better get this bucket under that leak otherwise I’ll be inviting you over for a swim sooner rather than never!” And in an instant his disdain is gone, eyes alight with humour as he waves sweetly at you and takes the few last steps to his apartment. “Have a good day at work tomorrow! I promise to return your precious bucket as soon as I can!”

You’re smiling, waving him off as he closes his door behind him, but you can't help feeling a little off as you close your own door and lock yourself securely in, unable to get the look he’d given you upon the mention of Jimin out of your head.

What was wrong with Taehyung?

__________

Walking into work the next day is as unexciting as you’ve ever experienced, dread heavy in your stomach as you walk the familiar hallways to the elevator. Officers depart from the building, finished with their days, while others climb on with you, getting ready to start their Tuesday mornings.

Realistically you know that barely any of the officers working within this building know who you are and what’s been happening, but your mind is convinced everyone is staring and talking about you, leaving you to stand silent in the corner of the elevator. Head tilted down, chin tucked tight against your chest and your bag held firmly against yourself, you’re the perfect picture of anxiety.

The desk beside yours is empty, but you’d already known Solar had the day off today, and though she’d still thought to text her her well wishes and promises of your favourite donuts tomorrow, the loneliness hits you hard.

The tech man stops by briefly, updating you on the system and the added features, and you carefully nod along as he shows you a few new things you might need to use, but overall you’re glad; the system was going to run faster, meaning your chances of tracking callers was much higher. A sense of relief fills you both with this new reassurance, and the fact the the morning was quite...boring.

There are some calls you get that make your heart pound and hands shake, but there are even more that happen so often and quickly they almost become mundane. People calling over minor traffic accidents, some more severe than others, the occasional theft or people calling the police on their neighbors prematurely.

As the day drones on and nothing more serious progresses, you find your lack of decent sleep catching up to you, and so you slip from your desk and down to the break room. Your mug clinks as you slot it under the coffee machine, and you insert the caplet into the top with a sigh, waiting with your hip leant against the bench as the machine whirs to life and starts to pour your coffee.

Scrolling through your phone slowly, you’re surprised when a text pops up at the top, with Jimin’s name no less. The coffee machine beside you finishes its job, the low buzzing dying away and leaving you in silence as you chew on your lower lip, pressing the message and watching as the apps switch.

| Jimin (work) | 11:41am (I’m in office all day today.) (Don’t hesitate to call me if you need.)

You can't help but smile a little at his insistence to keep you as comfortable as possible. You couldn’t help but reflect on the past, having spent so much time with Jimin lately, and you’d be stupid not to notice the way the two of you seemed to naturally gravitate towards each other. But like you’d told him just last week in this very room, old habits die hard.

Because you’d always worried about each other. Jimin would worry about your mental state, having to deal with the grating calls every day, and you would worry about him, being out in the field fighting against crime and helping to keep the city safe. It had always been a necessary stress in your household, discomfort for the greater good, but you couldn’t deny it was a contributor to your relationship ending.

You’d loved each other for a long time, deeply so, but some things can’t be salvaged purely by love, and you’d both learnt that the hard way.

| You (mobile) | 11:43am (Of course.) (Thank you, Jimin..)

Blowing gently on the top of your coffee, you carefully walk back to your desk, careful not to spill any nor burn yourself. Settling back into your chair, you stretch slowly, the stiff muscles in your lower back not enjoying the way you’ve been sitting all morning, before picking your earpiece up once more and slipping it onto your head before sipping your drink carefully. The caffeine doesn’t work straight away to perk you up, but the warmth in your tummy feels nice, and you let yourself relax as you switch your channel back to open and answer another call.

Your plan for the coffee to wake you up a bit more seems to go unfulfilled however, as the afternoon comes around and the team sitting around you starts to dissipate. Your eyes ache from looking at your screen for so many hours, and you’re a little ashamed to note that you’re beginning to feel as though you may fall asleep at your desk any second.

“Hey.” It takes your drowsy mind a few seconds to recognize that the voice behind you is actually addressing you, and you slowly turn in your chair to blink up at Jimin slowly. The corner of his lips starts to twitch in amusement at your puffy, lidded eyes, the pout of your lips are clear giveaway to how tired you are, and for a second he remembers a vivid image of you nestled in his bedsheets of a morning, hair tousled and lips softly parted as little snores escape you. “You okay?”

“I feel so tired, I don’t know why.” You go to rub at your eyes before remembering the mascara you’d dutifully put on this morning, choosing instead to gently press down on your eyelid before blinking down at your lap a few times. The blurriness goes away slightly, but not entirely, and you sigh in exhausted frustration.

“You’ve been having nightmares again?” Jimin reaches over to fetch the free seat from Solar’s desk, spinning it until the back faces you before straddling the cushion. His arms are crossed over each other atop the back of the seat, forearms on display where his shirtsleeves are rolled up, and you can see the little scar on the side of his wrist he’d gotten at bootcamp when he turned 21.

And of course he remembers the nightmares, a result of your first ever witness to a murder on an emergency response call, Jimin having been the one to wipe your tears when you awoke in the middle of the night in a panic. It’d been a good few years since you’d been so strongly swayed by a case, and your lost sleep seemed to be more clear on your face than you’d realised.

“Just a bit. Nothing too bad.” You reason, fiddling with the hem of your skirt as he looks you over, and you can feel your cheeks flush under his gaze, baffling you. “Not as bad as they were.”

“Good, you shouldn’t have to go through that.” Jimin sits with you in silence as you listen to the general noise around the room, hearing Taemin at his desk two spaces over on a call sounding very frustrated. He was on the night shift tonight, and you couldn’t help but feel equally as sorry for him as you were thankful it wasn’t you in his place.

“What’s brought you up here?” You notice his bag on the floor behind him, jacket draped over the top, and you figure it’s a sign he’s about to go home.

“It’s nearly 5. You finish in a few minutes. Figured I’d come and ask if you wanted a lift home.”

He says it nonchalantly, but you can see the slight pink in his cheeks as he averts his gaze. He’s never been one to get flustered or embarrassed when it comes to caring for you or others he loves, but you know his nervousness stems from the fact you’re no longer together, and the idea that you could reject him. But you wouldn’t, even if your heart would let you.

“Yeah, actually. That’d be great–” You’re sitting up in your seat, already keen to leave, when your earpiece rings, and you know Jimin can hear it as he tilts his head to the side slightly and smiles. Apologetic, you smile back before turning to your computer and hide a yawn through a careful exhale, accepting the line and starting your usual speech. “Hello, what is your emergency–”

“Little fucking bitch! Fuck!” Your spine stiffens, a burning breath pulled through your nose and you inhale a gasp, and Jimin is immediately at your side. The landline on your desk quickly transmits your call into the room under his hands, and you can feel everyone’s eyes land on you.

The fear from last time is creeping back into your consciousness, cold and immobilising, but you force yourself to push through, not hesitating as you immediately pull up your programs and let your training guide you.

“Sir, please stay calm.” Your voice sounds strong though you’re anything but, and you will your fingers to move faster as you run the backup data programs, determined to end this torture and finally catch this man. But that doesn’t mean he can’t still effect you.

“Why did you do it! Why did you hurt me!” He’s not crying anymore, anger thick in his voice as the sound of impact crashes in the background, and you release a shuddering breath as you try to block him out. The new system update scans through the city almost twice as fast as it did last time, and you can feel a new lightness in your chest as the numbers rise and rise, scrubbing increasing through the city as it zones in faster than ever before.

Jimin is behind you, a quite muttering, and if you were to pause and look, you would see him on his phone. Expression intense as he barks orders to his team, every modicum of the sweet man you’d been looking at not five minutes ago completely disappeared.

“You told me I could trust you!” For a second your fingers pause in their typing, fright shooting down your spine. Up until now, you’d assumed he’d been speaking to his victims, but suddenly...your own words are coming back to haunt you. “T-told me you wanted to help! But you’re a liar! A liar!”

“S-Sir–”

“Lying little slut!” You flinch, the aggression and hate in his words cutting through you, and you swallow hard around the lump in your throat as you start to type even faster, doing your best to ignore the words he’s begun to spit at you. The landline on speaker is low, but the silence in the office could let you hear a pin drop, and you know they’re all focused on you, the air so thick with discomfort that you can almost smell it.

The system flicks through each zone, over and over, and you lean forward in your chair the closer your view gets to the point of identification. But something twists in your gut, a thick, toxicity that has bile rising in your throat, and you faintly hear Jimin murmur your name in alarm behind you.

“All I wanted was you! Don’t you get that? Just you!” The area on the map gets even closer, and you’re starting to panic, the view becoming all too familiar as it zooms in, and in again. “I’ve kept you safe for so long, I’ve watched you all this time–”

“W-what?” Your words are little more than a whisper, and Jimin says your name again a little louder, voice thick with alarm.

“I know you only needed to walk 142 steps from the station to home, but I made sure I watched!” Your hand covers your mouth for fear you may truly throw up over your desk, and you can no longer focus on your computer system, skin crawling as overwhelmed tears start to leak over your cheeks. “D-Don’t do it again–”

“Do what?!” Your voice is raised high enough in pitch that the strain hurts your throat, and even Jimin jumps a little behind you, hands hovering over your shoulders unsurely as his every instinct screams at him to rip you away from this building and hide you away forever.

“Don’t let the detective drive you home again. He can’t keep you safe like I can.”

And then the signal drops, halting your system, and leaving a complete 2,000 feet radius surrounding your apartment building frozen on your screen.

[shesdreamingofamonster]

Linked to You (I)

Word Count: 1,740

Genre: Supernatural! AU

Pairing: Reader x Jungkook

Summary: After Jungkook has woken up, he catches up with his loved ones. All while both of you are still coming to terms with your new arrangement.

Prologue  II

The doctor came in to check on his condition as the boys were cleared out of the room. He was upset by that, they were his family, even if the doctors didn’t believe so. But he would see them again soon. The nurses began working on removing all of the support that he was placed on after surgery. The breathing tube was the first thing that they got rid of. “Hi buddy, now this is going to be a little uncomfortable. Just bear with me for a second.” Jungkook couldn’t nod so he just blinked hoping that was confirmation enough. It was uncomfortable, but it didn’t last long. And finally, his throat was free of the artificial breathing equipment. The worst part was the slight pain he felt from his operation, the dryness in his throat was bearable. He wondered what exactly they had to do.

His questions were answered a few moments later by the doctor. “Jungkook, you were in a very serious car accident. Luckily the first responders got to you in time for us to treat your injuries. Now you are going to feel discomfort for a few weeks until your body recovers. We had to go in and repair some internal bleeding, but there was nothing that we couldn’t fix. I am glad to see that you are doing better.” The man gave his arm a slight touch before turning back to his parents. “The nurses will be back to check on him now and then to see how he is recovering. I will have them bring some water, I am sure that he will need some. Feel free to hit the call button if anything comes up.” And then he was gone. Just Jungkook and his parents were left behind. He was going to say something but before he could his mother told him not to talk. “Just rest darling. You need to let your body heal.” It didn’t take too long for the pain medicine to kick in again and his eyes to close on their own.

As he slept, you could see everything in his mind. His dreams, his thoughts. He envisioned a crowd, smiling faces everywhere, cheering his name and several others. This must be his real dream. You wondered if he would achieve it. Then they started singing, and it was beautiful. The passion in all of their movements and voices was evident. You had heard plenty about being a trainee. Some people were broken down to the point where they only did as they were told, just waiting for the reward to come to them. This was the reward. Some would say that it is fame and money that they wanted. But these boys. They seemed to be happy making others happy. As the crowd beamed up at them, the boys beamed back. It was truly a beautiful dynamic. You could understand why someone would have this as their dream. It is absolutely wonderful. You became so entranced by this vision that you forgot that you were inside someone else’s head for a little while. A welcomed distraction.

When he awoke, you saw the sun shining through the window. His mother was there, sleeping in a chair next to the bed. He didn’t say anything. ‘She needs to sleep. They had been so worried.’ He was talking to you. This odd reality seemed to have been accepted by him so fast. ‘You seem like a good son.’ He gave a small chuckle. ‘I hope to be. After all, my childhood was kind of taken away from them. Once I began training, everything I did, ate, where I lived, it was up to the company. They let me go to pursue my dream.” ‘They love you. I am sure that they are happy knowing you are doing something you enjoy.’ There was silence after that. Like an agreement without words. If you were talking to him face to face, you believed he would be nodding his head. Of course he wouldn’t do that now, his body lying in a hospital bed. If they saw him responding to someone that wasn’t there they might keep him here for more than recovery. Insanity. ‘Not to be rude or anything, but are you going to tell anyone about me?’ He was looking around the room, taking in all of the machinery that was keeping track of his health. The beeping bringing a sort of calmness to the room. ‘I don’t know. Do you think they would believe me? Or would they think that I became crazy from a head injury?’ You thought about that. Would your friends and family believe you? Help, someone else is in my head! ‘What are we supposed to do?’ If you were in this position, you would probably have a mental breakdown. ‘We will figure it out. There has to be a way.’ You didn’t want to say anything. You didn’t know what to say. Neither one of you wanted to be stuck in this situation.

“Hi sweetie. How are you feeling?” His mother had finally awoken. Her face still full of worry, hoping that there would be no more need for him to stay here. “I am feeling okay, not the best, but good based on the situation I am in.” She gave him a reassuring smile and took his hand into her own. “The doctor said that you only need to stay a couple more days, just so they can make sure that everything is alright. No complications.” He nodded and squeezed her hand. Looking around he questioned her, “Where is dad?” “Oh, he went to pick up your brother and bring him here.” He was filled with happiness. His brother wasn’t there when he woke up, but he was sure there was a good explanation for it. All that mattered was that he would see him later. You felt the joy that he was filled with ‘That is nice.’ He agreed with you silently in his mind while he grinned back at his mother. “Do you know when dad and hyung will be here?” She looked for her phone and exclaimed. “Very soon. And they are bringing food. Are you hungry darling?” His stomach growled almost on que and they both gave a small chuckle. His, however, led to pain in his abdomen. “Oh sweetheart. You will have to be careful for some time.”

While they waited, his mother told him about everything that had happened before he had woken up. How they had found out and rushed to the hospital in no time. They tried to reach his brother, but he was unavailable at the time. It turns out that his phone was off and he was dealing with something for work. He had received the message and rushed over to meet them. His family had asked to see him, but they were informed that he was sent into surgery immediately upon arrival. As they waited, the rest of the members made their way to the hospital. All of them greeted her, filled with worry and red eyes. Nurses met them to inform them that the surgery was going well, they just needed to finish and suture him up. And as soon as they were able to, they all sat in the room with him. His brother had to leave and take care of things so that he could spend time with him when he woke up.

“The boys are still here. I told them to leave, to get some rest and clean up. But they refused. Stubborn. So, your father decided to pick up Junghyun and then get food for everyone.” Jungkook was relieved that they didn’t have to deal with a complete horror story. Still, it was stressful enough. “I am sorry that you had to go through that all.” She frowned and kissed his hand. “Don’t be sorry, no one could have expected this to happen. We are all just happy that you are alright. That accident, it was horrible. It is a blessing that you are here.” That must mean that some people were killed. ‘There were a lot of cars. It wasn’t possible to get to everyone in time.’ You recalled the scene that you had witnessed earlier, your own body stuck in the wreck. It was a main road, during the busiest time of day. Too many injuries. Too many people. ‘That is what I assumed.’ There was a sadness in his voice. You understood how he felt.

It wasn’t long before the door opened to be followed by an abundance of people. The room wasn’t the biggest, so everyone was packed in. But they didn’t care. They were celebrating. “Jungkook!” His older brother exclaimed as he rushed over to hug him. “I am sorry that I wasn’t here.” Jungkook smiled, “It is alright. I know you waited, plus you are here now.” His father who had finished placing the bags of food on the little table came over to place a hand on his arm. “How are you today?” “Good, a little sore, but I am okay.” His father smiled and kissed him on the head. Then he turned and kissed his wife on the cheek. All of the boys waited for his family to finish greeting him before bursting into conversation. “Jungkookie!!!” “Kookie.” “Our JK” A line of hugs were given to him before he told them all to relax. “I am alright. You guys need to take care of yourselves too. Please.”

Everyone ate. The food was needed. Most of them forgot to eat when the events were occurring. He felt at home. As if nothing had really happened aside from the fact that he was in the hospital and that he was not by himself. You took in the sight. All of them smiling and talking. ‘You are lucky to have them all. It seems wonderful.” ‘I am. Don’t you have people you love as well?” You thought about your loved ones. How they would be celebrating as well. ‘Yes. But I am trying not to think about them too much.’ ‘I’m sorry. I know that it isn’t any of our faults. But I am sorry.’ ‘It is alright. Thank you… Kookie.’ You liked the nickname. And even though you haven’t known him for long, it seemed to fit. He let out a small chuckle, but no one seemed to find it out of place.

Sorry that it is kind of short. I was busier than expected today and I might need to go into work early tomorrow. 

As always, please let me know what you think. :) <3

Next Part

Masterlist

[sassywitchprincess]

As a reminder, it’s okay to try to get away from current events for a little bit and distract yourself with other activities. In fact, as long as you ARE still staying informed and aware of what’s going on and you’re not ignoring it, you shouldn’t be following the news 24/7. Especially if you’re poc right now, it can be really draining on your mental health to have minute to minute updates of everything going on. Protest, donate, petition, support. But also try to remember to take time away, take breaks, and take care of your mental health. The human pysche is not exactly designed for constant assault of disturbing images and news...

Just... Take care of yourselves, especially if you’re out protesting.

Donate:

[elenasescape1-blog]

Good morning ✨

So now we are pretty much in an official lockdown in the UK; the confirmed cases and death toll are increasing daily... I want to talk about where I think this virus REALLY came from, as I truly believe this was not spread like how everyone thinks.

I really do believe this virus was man made; I believe this was a big distraction from what really was going on. Current wars in other countries have been completely forgotten about! World War 3 was about to break out but suddenly we don’t hear about it anymore because the only thing spoken about in any form of media is Covid-19... not sure if this is any use to anyone but Covid-19 translated into Hebrew then back to English is “Kobe”. Which celebrity death was all over the media then got taken over by Covid-19? Kobe and Gianna Bryant’s. Now this takes me to a couple of episodes from The Simpson’s, where they have predicted many things to have come true.. 9/11, Donald Trump’s presidency... how weird is it that they predicted Kobe’s death? Even weirder, they predicted both the Coronavirus and Tom Hanks’ isolation... and that’s all I’ll say on The Simpson’s, they seem to have predicted many things to have happened in the last 20-30 years... just food for thought with that one. Lastly on predictions, I’m sure many people have seen a picture on Twitter which has even been retweeted by Kim Kardashian West; it’s a snippet of a book written many years ago, stating “in 2020 a pneumonia like virus will attack the globe, vanishing just as quickly as initial onset”. Still not think it’s somewhat man made?

Let’s also think about what’s really in those chemtrails we see in the sky; yes we see them at certain times of the day because of air pressure and weather etc, but do we really and truly know what’s in them? One more thing to think about, how convenient that all this Brexit stuff went on for nearly 4 years and then we formally left the EU January 31st 2020? Brexit now means that the Covid-19 vaccine won’t be available in the UK as quickly as other countries... weird timing, right?

I don’t believe this was necessarily spread through Chinese people from Wuhan eating bats or whatever it was. Yes the first cases came from Wuhan, but why weren’t flights from China suspended straight away? I believe this virus was planted in the food markets as a way for them to have population control over China, where let’s not forget for a while the families were restricted to one child each as their population was over 1billion. Flights were not suspended to other countries to allow the spread, which they knew would be very easy and very quick. This, in my eyes, was a way for the governments to have some form of population control and also climate control, now that everyone is staying home much more of the time, pollution levels have decreased a lot, so much so that there are fish back in the canals of Venice. I expect to see dolphins in the river Thames within the next month (🙄).

Anyway, here’s a video I thought I’d include that I came across on Facebook yesterday - it reiterates a lot of what I’ve said and it’s really interesting.

https://www.facebook.com/124411634236128/posts/3136593436351251/?vh=e&d=n

Now moving on to mental health during isolation. I used to hate constantly being at home, being left alone just me with my anxious thoughts. This is going to be a testing time for many people who also feel this way. It’s important that we do not disconnect ourselves from our circles; yes we may not be able to physically see the people we want to be around, but we are so lucky to have the technology we do where we can call, video call (with more than one person at a time now) and stay in touch via social media - had this outbreak happened 20 years ago we would have been far worse off in this sense. Most importantly, if you do feel low, REACH OUT! Talk to anyone you can! Now that everyone is at home in the same boat, many more people have more time now to put into conversations. Remember, this is not going to last forever. I just personally hope that we don’t have a pandemic of social anxiety once everything goes back to normal - people will be so used to staying indoors most of the time and in the comfort of their own homes that they may feel anxious being back out into the world, unable to re-adjust to usual life as quickly as others. But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it...

For those that do struggle with anxious thoughts & being at home for much of the time, or even for those who just get really bored and restless easily, here are 12 things for you to do during your day to keep yourselves busy!

1. Learn to cook

- this a great new skill to take up and one that can keep you occupied for a few hours during your day! Here’s a site with some apps (most of which are free) that give you cooking recipes, advice and can even show you recipes with what you can make do with what’s in your cupboards right now! There are also some great YouTube tutorials out there!

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/best-recipe-apps/%3famp

2. Learn a new language

- How cool would it be to come out of isolation billingual?! Okay not completely billingual, but beginning to speak a new language? This is a great task to put your minds to! Here are a couple of free apps that have been rated 4 stars or more on the App Store for iPhone. If they aren’t available on Androids, these apps have websites and there are plenty of other apps for Android too!

3. Find 5 films of different genres to watch and watch one a day.

4. Find 3 series with a decent amount of episodes/seasons and spread throughout the week.

- this goes for both 3 & 4; I believe binge watching in a time like this is not ideal! Imagine completing the series or film marathon you love in a whole day and then feeling like you have nothing else to watch! Spread the episodes/films out so you have something to do each day!

5. Pamper

- whilst taking care of ourselves mentally, we can’t forget that we have to take care of our skin too! Aside from drinking plenty of water, morning/nightly skincare routines are important to keep your glow, check out YouTube for some tips if you need them! Stay consistent too! You can even make homemade face masks, which are also on YouTube. Giving yourself a mani/pedi should take up a decent amount of time - your skin feels amazingly soft after too!

6. Exercise!

- we have no excuse for not doing exercise now! For those that love a walk or a jog, we are still allowed to leave the house to do this, whether it be around the block or in the park (which will be patrolled). Finding yourself a home exercise routine is a great way to keep occupied and feel good, as we know when we get that endorphin rush after a workout! There are many routines you can find online, and if you’re already a member in a gym and have their app, I’m sure there are routines on there too. If you have kids then you can all do this together! Joe Wickes AKA the Body Coach is doing online PE lessons for kids, so now you can all keep active. I’ll link his YouTube channel below:

https://www.youtube.com/user/thebodycoach1

7. Meditate

- For those with anxiety, meditation is so important! Meditation trains the mind to keep calm with racing thoughts and to have a mind over matter overall thought process. Here are some great apps below, which I have also used (they really are amazing):

8. Draw/be creative

- drawing/painting/sculpting - all so therapeutic and calming. They really allow you to put your mind to a task for a lengthy period of time and allow yourself to explore your creative side! A great way to learn new things about yourself if you never knew you had a creative side 😝

9. Vlog/blog your day/keep a journal

- write/express your feelings! If you are feeling low this is so important - this way you can understand your emotions more logically and your form of expression allows you to release them too. For those who are simply just getting bored, this is a fun way to keep occupied throughout the day! You can blog about what you’re doing, vlog your exercise routine etc. It’s great fun!

10. Organise/clear out cupboards/draws/wardrobes

- ever seen Stacey Solomon’s “Tap to Tidy” stories on Instagram? So satisfying! You could do the same. This is a pretty lengthy task and a great way to escape anxious thoughts by putting order in place!

11. Read

- reading is a lovely form of escapism where we can go into our own world for however long we want. It gives us a story to focus on and really become engrossed in the situation and characters, whether it be fiction or non-fiction. If you don’t own books, there are audiobooks, e-books and google books all online where you can find whichever book you want to read/listen to!

12. Find one thing to learn about each day and spend some time researching and learning loads.

- interested in space? Astrology? Egyptian history? Well grab a notebook and YouTube! Find anything in the entire world that you want to learn more about and watch some YouTube videos on it. I say YouTube videos because I personally believe this is the least boring way to learn about something. Write down some notes or draw visual notes on it, whichever way you learn best!

Basically, what all these tasks have in common is that it puts your mind to something fun, that you can really focus on for a decent period of time! Don’t leave yourself anxious or bored in isolation, keep your relationships with others both physically and virtually where you can. Keep yourself to doing something, stay as busy as you can/want! Don’t forget, if you’re feeling low or any type of way, please reach out and talk to someone/anyone, do not let yourself run away with these thoughts over something temporary!

💚✨💚✨💚✨

[quarantinequbemagazine]

Heartbreak in Quarantine

by Julian

What do you normally do when you get dumped?

Do you:

Go out dancing with your friends?

Just cry in the comfort of your room alone?

Take a walk in the park and clear your mind?

Listen to live music at a concert?

Go on casual dates with people from dating apps?

Get messy drunk at your friend’s apartment at 2 in the morning and nearly die of alcohol poisoning?

Go out, buy a whole pint of ice cream and eat it by yourself?

These are the go-to for a lot of people, me included, but what if you can’t do any of these because you’re at your parent’s home for Spring break, with little to no privacy, and now are stuck there because of a quarantine? Ultimately, these listed breakup activities are just conscious distractions that make you feel better while you subconsciously process the relationship and your emotions, but when you’re forced to stay home, this subconscious processing comes to the forefront and they’re not always present.

For example, as someone who used to be a hardcore gamer, Minecraft has always been a comfort game for me. It’s so simple and with no obvious objectives, I could just play on it mindlessly and build to my heart’s content. When my internet went out from all the people staying at home clogging up the service, I decided I would try out a Hardcore mode Minecraft world to see how long I could survive without dying, which the game would automatically lock me out of if I did die. So I started up Minecraft and on the list of saved worlds was the world my now-ex and I used to play on, staring back at me. I immediately deleted the world, but it was too late.

Suddenly, these memories of her and I having a blast playing together, that I had completely forgotten about, played on a loop over and over again in my mind and it was impossible to stop thinking about it. I tried to get started in the world; chopping down trees, building a little shack to spend the night in, looking for coal, but the memories didn’t let up and it became overwhelming. I shut off the game, lied down in bed, and cried as silently as I could so that nobody could hear me.

Breakups are tough, but they’re on Hardcore mode when you get broken up with a couple weeks before a quarantine, and are forced to consciously confront the reality of your fragile state of mind and emotions, with no easy way to distract from it.

So what do you do when your normal post-breakup activities are no longer an option? Here are some things you can try.

Meditation

Everyone has that one friend who meditates and talks about the health benefits. From an outsider’s perspective, meditation is the 21st century snake oil that supposedly cures everything, except, coming from someone who secretly is that friend and who tries to meditate on a regular basis, it actually works. Better yet, it works even if you don’t believe it works. There are actual scientific studies that show the mental health benefits of meditation/mindfulness over a period of time, and it can be as simple as just sitting down with your eyes closed and breathing. If you ever wanted to start taking up meditation, now is a good time to do it.

From my anecdotal experience, I can say that it’s helped lift a depression-induced mental fog that kept me from thinking clearly and it helps me stay out of negative thought loops that just make me feel worse by recognizing what they are and recognizing that they’re just thoughts. I highly recommend checking out Sam Harris’ Waking Up: A Meditation Course app that comes with 5 free lessons that are more than enough to introduce you to the practice of mindfulness meditation. Google Play and Apple App Store

Music

Chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re a little punk or at least slightly alternative, meaning that you probably have a better appreciation for music than the common person. If you don’t already play an instrument, why not pick up one now? Dust off that old bass, guitar, drumkit, ukulele, vuvuzela that you’ve had stashed in your closest and just have some fun with it. Play along to some of your favorite tunes, even if you don’t know what you’re doing, it can still be a blast. I personally learn how to play at least 3 new songs on my electric guitar every time I come home for breaks because I can crank up my amp and play loud without worrying about my downstairs neighbors calling the cops on me.

If playing an instrument isn’t your thing, why not take the time to explore new music? Ask some online friends for music recommendations, let the Spotify or YouTube algorithms take you for a ride, or better yet, check out our very own in-house Quarantine Qube playlist! If you have the equipment, blast some music on your loudest speakers and just sing along or dance to your favorite tunes. Who’s gonna judge? We’re all bored out of our minds.

Read

There is no understating how good reading is as a hobby. It is the ultimate flex of patience and attention span in our fast-paced social media era. Not only that, reading is just a good way of getting out of your own head and into writers’ heads. Whether it be something like reading along to song lyrics when listening to music, shitty internet poetry, short stories, or entire novels, there’s bound to be all sorts of new perspectives you can learn from reading something new.

Want something to cheer you up? Reread an old childhood classic like The Chronicles of Narnia or Harry Potter

Want something you can read in one sitting? Check out short stories like Stephen King’s The Jaunt about teleportation that can go horribly wrong or Ray Bradbury’s All Summer in a Day about life in Venus where it’s constantly raining and the Sun only emerges for 2 hours once every 7 years.

Want to brush up on your social skills because you haven’t left your house in weeks from quarantine? Check out classics like The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson and How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Disappointed with the Game of Thrones finale? Check out the original books by George R.R. Martin, who said his time spent in quarantine has given him a lot of time to write The Winds of Winter

Nothing!

You can also do nothing, too, and it’s totally okay! This isn’t a competition and the social isolation + a breakup can affect us all in weird ways. You might feel an internal pressure to “spend your time wisely” with self-development (that may or may not stem from a hypercompetitive capitalistic environment), but it’s worth stating that it’s okay to not do something that others might view as productive. Don’t shame yourself for doing only one or none of the above examples--if just watching TikToks and eating junk food keeps you from spiraling into self-loathing and other negativities, do it! It’s okay to not be in the best mental state right now, you’re doing the best you can right now ♥

Take care of yourselves,

Julian

instagram: julian.plays.music

[hufflepuffchampion]

General Astra In-Ze

Okay, I’mma low key freak out over here about this woman right here.

This is General Astra In-Ze of Krypton, and I am very upset right now. No, it’s not about her death because quite frankly I’m used to it.  But no.  Here’s the thought.

In the show, most of the bad guys early on are after Kara because OH SHIT IT’s KARA ZOR-EL, DAUGHTER OF ALURA.  Alura, who sent probably most of the criminals in Fort Rozz there in the first place.  And there’s this whole thing on how it’s dangerous because they all want revenge on Alura. Except whoops, Alura’s dead, guess we’ll settle for her daughter.

So I’m confused.

You have this woman, IDENTICAL twin sister to the woman who sent you to this prison.

And her ass is in jail just like yours is, trapped with you.  Not to mention she was out traipsing the galaxy doing who knows what.  For all we know she sent half the people Alura sentenced to Alura herself.

Revenge? YES? no.

No.  Here’s what happens.

By the time Fort Rozz lands on earth Astra not only has survived, but has earned the respect of almost ALL the inhabitants.  Not necessarily their loyalty, but defiantly their respect.  At least enough of it so that when they end up on earth, enough of the prisoners are willing to follow her on this rather bizarre plan.

What?

Okay, fine, she’s an impressive woman who is incredibly formidable in battle and with experience in leading others.

But we don’t get a story behind that? How? why? When?!

I want a Netflix series.

It begins on Krypton with showing Astra, Non, Alura, Kara, the family, and Astra’s line of work.  But then it takes a dark turn when she realizes that Krypton is hurtling to destruction.

So at first she tries the legal routes, brings the information to her superiors and to the council.  It doesn’t work and she’s caught between being silenced, discredited, threatened, whatever.

And so she starts to plan with Non and a few followers.  And things start spiraling out of control, the plans get more extreme, Myriad is born, and a man is killed.

So she’s on the run and she risks seeing Kara one last time.  And she’s caught, put on trial, and her own sister is the one to sentence her to Fort Rozz.

She’s in jail and the first reaction?  The prisoners all probably want to rip her to shreds.  She’s falling apart inside but knows better than to show weakness.  She bands together with her fellow soldiers.  She thinks Kara willingly lured her into a trap that led to this hell-hole.

She survives, looses her humanity and probably her sanity along the way.  Working on this basic instinct to make it to another day.  And a lot of these people are enhanced by some way.  Remember kryptonians aren’t enhanced until they were exposed to the radiation of the yellow sun.

And then Krypton explodes, knocking Fort Rozz into the phantom zone to float around for years.  The inhabitants are awake, living, suspended in a place where time doesn’t exist.

In these years of struggle, surviving in stasis but not really, still monitored by guards, reeling from the destruction of Krytpon, Astra rises as someone to be respected amongst prisoners and guards alike.

So much that when they escape the phantom zone, she leads the charge overpowering the guards and organizing a fair amount of convicts.

convicts that had been living in a maximum security prison.  Like, the maximum of maximum security prisons.  Do you know what it’s like living in those places?  Maximum security prisons are where you seen prisoners that normal prisons literally can not handle, at ALL.  Like, most of these people have literally lost the impulse control in their brains.  If they get the urge to kill someone, they do it without hesitation because they have no filter anymore.

She arrives on earth and see’s this beautiful planet on the same path as Krytpon.  Granted it’s years and years along the road, but her first instinct is to start up Myriad again? The LAST RESORT she had on krypton.  Something she started out of desperation and probably a bit of madness.  Even though she can clearly see that Earth is centuries and centuries behind Krypton developmentally?

So by the time she encounters Kara, she’s pretty much manic.  It’s not really mania (I work in mental health so i know) it’s more like obsessive behavior.  She’s so fixated on her goal, saving earth, she never allowed herself to process the fact that Kara is here.

Did you see the reaction?  Exactly, what reaction. Kara’s alive and well? oh, okay.  On with the rest of the news.  What is this scrolling text underneath the screen, its mildly distracting?

And then BOOM, suddenly confronted with Kara.  And she HAS to re-evaluate.  And you have a woman who is face to face with the woman she used to be.  But she’s so far gone that person probably doesn’t exist anymore, it’s been so long.

And what does she have if she doesn’t complete this plan.  The thing she’s been working on for over a decade?  And where would the world be if she stopped?  Best scenario earth fixes it’s shit.  But you still have this rabble of prisoners, all highly powerful and dangerous, suddenly not under your control.  Out doing whatever they want?  Following someone worse?  And what about your companions?  The ones that followed you and supported you since before this all began.  Before none of you could recognize yourselves anymore.

Okay.  I have more thoughts but i’m not sure I can articulate them yet.

Ugh.

All I’m saying is there’s a GREAT series here, at least a great story.  A sort of fall from grace, loss of humanity (does that have a Kryptonian equivalent), rise to power, only to falter and fail in the very end. ��Yet still have the one thing that was most precious to you, love from someone you cared about.

And I’m never going to get it so I can be as angry as i want to be damn it.