#takashibennett

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Y’ALL. MY BOOK IS READY AND YES I AM YELLING BECAUSE OMG SO EXCITE. PLEASE GO GET ONE IF YOU LOVE CUTE BOYS WHO LOVE CUTE BOYS. It’s not the next great American novel but it’s the sweet lovely funny happy stuff we all need more of right now.

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Hey don’t freak out. I’m self publishing my book in September so I’m reformatting my main to promote my book and get some buzz going. The first three followers that ask can get a free copy once it comes out.

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Omg omg omg omg it’s my cover. Holy shiiiiiit @bloodydamnit @xla-hainex @basic-banshee

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Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! The cover for As Big As The Sky is nearly done!!! @xla-hainex is so amazing.

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Inspo for the cover art for As Big As The Sky

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Mahal Ko,

I love you. I want you, but I don't need you. Need eliminates choice, need creates obligation, and I don't want that for us. I want you, I choose you, and I am free to do so. You are also free, and you can choose every single day where you want to put your love. You don't need me either, and for that, I am grateful. I want us to choose each other every day

I see you. I feel you. I love you.

-E

Art by @graveyard-vomit

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They finished their bowls. Tak felt like he hadn't eaten in forever, which was somewhat true. He hadn't been able to stomach much more than a protein shake for the past few days, he had been so tightly wound with his thoughts about Emory. Tak even ate the noodles Emory hadn’t finished. Tak walked Emory to the library and they made plans to hang out at Tak’s on Saturday, ostensibly to study, but both of them had ulterior motives. Before they rounded the corner to the library entrance, Emory yanked Tak by the wrist into an alcove between the concrete edifice and some bougainvillea. Once secluded, Emory pinned Tak to the wall with a fiery glint in his eyes.

“Hey, boyfriend?” he smirked.

“Yeah?” Tak smirked back.

“Can I kiss you?” Emory grinned. Tak nodded and sunk lower, bending his knees to slide his back down the wall. Emory ran his thumb over Tak’s bottom lip, his other hand on Tak’s shoulder. Tak gripped Emory’s hips, grazing the skin above his belt as his fingers crept under the hoodie.

“Your fucking hands are cold!” Emory hissed.

“That's why I put them in here, duh,” Tak grinned stupidly. He was so, so hopelessly smitten.

“Jesus, they're fucking freezing,” Emory laughed as he leaned in to kiss Tak, this time not worried about being seen. Tak giggled, but was cut off by Emory’s mouth on his. The fullness of Emory’s lips were intoxicating, his warm body bringing feeling back into Tak’s cold hands. Emory turned out to be an excellent kisser, and, while Tak was by no means passive, he found himself letting Emory take the lead. Pressed into the wall, he allowed Emory to suck at his bottom lip, graze his teeth over Tak’s jaw and chin, and breathe hot sighs into Tak’s ear as he nibbled at the lobe and the spot where Tak’s shoulder and neck met. Tak gasped as Emory pressed a thick thigh between his legs, leaning his body weight against Tak’s growing erection. A low rumble, halfway between a growl and a laugh emanated from Emory’s throat, followed by a quick and not-at-all gentle nip at Tak’s neck. Tak couldn't help himself and gasped again, his body jerking with a quick shudder.

“Fuck, Emory,” Tak whispered. He had wanted to kiss him since that first day in statistics, but he had not been prepared for this. Emory, for all his quietness, was loud with his touch.

“I’m sorry, was that not ok? You’d tell me to stop if it wasn't, wouldn’t you?” Emory withdrew his

mouth, but kept his body pressed close to Tak.

Tak spoke breathlessly, pupils wide as saucers, “Yeah, it’s good. I’ll tell you if its not, promise.”

“What, then?” Emory quirked his lips.

“I'm just so surprised. Everything about you is surprising. I had no idea.” Tak nuzzled his face into Emory’s shoulder.

“It's always the quiet ones, didn’t you know?” Emory laughed. He reached for Tak’s chin and tilted it for a better angle to kiss him again. Emory felt himself wanting to burn the library to the ground so he wouldn't have to go inside for study group. Pressed against Tak, he felt self-control rapidly slipping away and hoped that, if Tak realized how much power he held over Emory’s will, he wouldn't use it to ruin him, because it wouldn't take much doing at all. How could this beautiful man, so tall and so strong and so fine, be kissing him, touching him? At some point this would surely come crashing down. Tak would eventually realize how much better he could do than Emory. He decided that, until that time came, he would allow himself to have this.

A rude buzz sounded from Emory’s hoodie pocket. He groaned.

“Ugh. It’s Colin Ho.” Tak snorted at this while Emory typed a furious reply. “He’s bitching because I’m late. I better go. I’ll text you later?” He pressed another quick kiss to Tak’s mouth before grabbing his bag and pulling the straps over his shoulders. “I really don't want to go, but zoology is my most important class.”

“Yeah,” Tak sighed. “I'm not trying to get you in trouble. I’ll see you Saturday.”

“Ok. Later.” Emory snuck in one final kiss.

“Bye, boyfriend,” Tak smiled, from where he was still leaning on the library wall.

Artwork by the incomparable @xla-hainex

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Emory Cleans Up

Tak appeared with a towel around his waist, his phone emitting the swells and drops of hard trance, smoke from the blunt in his hand drifting swirls from his mouth. Emory accepted the blunt and took just a small puff, wanting to be present for this connection. He passed it back to Tak and tugged the towel off, releasing a rubbery erection that swung quite near his face. Tak smirked down at Emory as he took another puff.

“Can I put this in my mouth?” Emory asked, his hand already encircling Tak at the base of his cock. Tak nodded slowly, a smile on his lips as he leaned to set the blunt in a mint tin on the bedside table. As Emory took Tak into his mouth, Tak reached into Emory’s hair, winding long fingers into the silky threads, gripping close to the scalp just for a moment before rubbing gently with his fingertips. Emory gave a low hum with Tak in his mouth, and Tak dug nails into Emory’s shoulders and edged forward, aching to be taken deeper. Emory grasped Tak’s hips and pulled him into his throat with a groan. He paid careful attention to every hitched breath or jerk of Tak’s hips. He brought Tak dangerously close to coming, then backed off, removing his mouth and using only his hand, a looser grip, a slower stroke. When the tension melted, Emory took him deep into his mouth again, working a twist into the strokes with his hand, grazing his fingertips lightly over Tak’s balls.

Tak, blunted and idiotic with lust, stood on legs he couldn't feel anymore. He couldn't feel anything but Emory’s mouth on him. The entire universe around him had vanished and it was just this moment in time, looking down the planes of his stomach to watch his cock disappear into the rhythmic motion of Emory’s mouth. Emory’s eyes flicked up and locked on Tak’s, simmering, watering in the corners from the effort of work he was doing. Tak felt as though he were falling into a warm ocean, capsized and doomed to sink to the bottom where he would gladly greet death if it meant he could have this moment forever Through the fog of pleasure, a thought slammed into him I want this always. I want him always. Tak realized it was true. The nagging idea in the background of his mind these last weeks was bubbling to the surface, impractical and inconvenient, but undeniable. He was so completely in love with Emory.

Emory crept his right hand along the V-shaped crease on Tak’s hip, then up to his stomach and chest, all the while still pumping his other hand and mouth on Tak’s cock. His right hand reached Tak’s lips and two fingers slid into his mouth where Tak sucked on them as he moaned.

Fingers now slick, Emory caressed Tak’s firm ass, giving it a little pat for Tak to spread his feet apart. Emory teased Tak’s tight entrance with one fingertip and Tak gasped.

Emory broke contact with Tak’s cock to look up and ask, “Is this what you want?”

“Yes,” Tak whispered, breathless.

“Tell me. Tell me what you want, Tak.”

“I want you to fuck me, Emory.”

Artwork by @xla-hainex 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

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Confessions

“You know what else your sister told me while you were gone earlier?”  Emory teased, still stroking, staring at Tak. “She said you’re stupid for me. She told me you talk about me all the time.”

 “Well, she isn't wrong... I’ve never talked about anyone else with her before. No one else was worth mentioning.” Tak blushed, climbing into bed beside Emory. Emory quirked an eyebrow incredulously. 

“Never ever?”

 “Never ever.”

“Why me then?” Emory asked, his heart in his throat.

“‘Cuz I'm stupid for you, like she said.” Tak was bashful. “I think about you all the time when you're not around. That, and... You make me feel safe, and... like, stuff...” he trailed off. Emory sat stunned, dirty thoughts suddenly distant as his throat went dry, his tongue thickening in his mouth. He had the distinct and terrifying feeling that he was about to say something that he couldn’t take back. He thought of toothpaste, words coiling out, never to be returned to the tube. His pulse raced and he felt lightheaded. He looked at Tak, whose recently lustful gaze had softened into one of sincerity. Emory didn't know what to do, so he was relieved when Tak spoke again.“Em, babe,” Tak took his hand, smoothing a thumb over Emory’s knuckles. “I’m sprung like a motherfucker. It’s bad. I know what it is, if I'm being honest with myself... I'm so fucked,” Tak sighed, then, in true Tak form, blurted out, “I’m in love with you, Emory.” Tak rested his forehead against the heel of his hand. Emory noticed he was shaking ever so slightly. Emory’s heart leapt at hearing Tak’s confession.  He swallowed hard and his heart spun. This was happening like an ocean liner crashing into an iceberg, slow and inevitable and terrifying. Though his heart had leapt at hearing Tak confess, Emory still had to clear the hurdle of his own confession.

 “Tak, you know how sometimes I call you Mahal Ko?” Tak nodded, a subtle smile on his lips. Emory took one last deep breath and went for it, “Mahal Ko means ‘My Love.’ I've been calling you My Love for weeks. I’m scared shitless... I fuckin’ love you too, Tak.”  

“I know you do,” Tak whispered, climbing onto Emory’s lap and kissing him deeply.  He pressed his forehead to Emory’s and sighed, “I love you, Emory.” 

Y’all @gibslythe got my OC’s nailed! Do highly recommend!!!

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@palmettostatefuckup did my boys

Book As Big As The Sky out Spring 2019

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Emory shrugged out of his hoodie and Slipknot shirt, braced his arms on the counter and leaned to expose his neck to Tak. Tak took the clippers and carved a neat edge into Emory’s undercut.

It didn't take long, but Emory had plenty of time to think, How is this my life right now? He spaced out, running a million questions through his mind, and didn't hear the clippers shut off, but he did feel Tak’s cool breath on his neck, gently blowing the stray hairs away. Emory caught a momentary chill, and then Tak’s chest was pressed to his back, his left arm threaded under Emory’s and around Emory’s chest to his opposite shoulder. He began to kiss softly at the nape of Emory’s neck.

Emory looked up and saw their reflection in the bathroom mirror. His braided hair was very well done and actually look good on him. His focus, however, was in watching Tak, eyes closed as he pressed his lips to Emory’s skin. Emory was really for real being kissed by this super hot man. He could see it happening right in front of his eyes, not his imagination. He spun around in Tak’s arms and sat on the sink counter, clattering the clippers and toothpaste into the basin.

Original artwork by @chazstity

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My OC’s Takashi and Emory in their Christmas Jammies

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The one where Tak and Emory go to a party in their kigurimi

Spring break had come and gone and on a foggy night in early April, the Shark and the Hedgehog sauntered up the dark streets of Berkeley, walking from Shattuck BART to Haste, up to College Avenue. They held hands as they walked in shadows, enjoying the quiet spring night once they were above Telegraph. They were headed to a place near the Julia Morgan building for a party put on by the Pan-Asian student union. It was to be an Animal Onesie themed party to raise money for a member of the union who was battling leukemia while trying to finish her masters degree. They wore the onesies Emory’s aspiring fashion designer little sister had sewn them. Emory hadn't wanted to go at all but Tak pointed out that nearly everyone there was going to be an Asian nerd which made Emory feel a little less out of place than he did at other college parties full of red cup woo-bros.

Neither of them wanted to be sober, and neither of them wanted to try to find parking in Elmwood, and neither of them wanted to shell out for a driver so they walked, choosing to wear the onesies instead of carrying a backpack and trying to keep track of it all night. They had just reached College Avenue and were nearly there when some asshole in a yellow hummer screeched to a stop where they were crossing the street, revved his engine, rolled down the window and screamed,

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY YOU FUCKIN CHING CHONG FAGGOTS!” And as soon as their toes touched the sidewalk on the other side of the intersection he peeled out, fishtailing over the narrow suburban streets.

“Jesus what the fuck?” Tak glared at the tail lights.

“Well he does drive a hummer.” Emory shrugged and looked at his shoes.

“I hope he chokes on a bag of sweaty dicks,” Tak grumbled.

“Hey,” Emory stopped and looked at Tak “Don't let that shitbag ruin your night. He means nothing.”

“I am trying not to. I was a little scared, Em. I forget that not everyone, even in Berkeley, is cool with gay dudes or Asians. Or gay Asians.” Tak kicked at some leaves on the sidewalk.

“Gaysians,” Emory corrected.

Tak laughed so hard he snorted. “Emory, I don't know what I would do without your smart ass.” He draped his long shark fins over the stout hedgehog.”We’re almost there, lets get baked.” He brought out his vape. Tak had brought an Indica, super stupid and stoney, not meant for anyone who had anything important to do today or probably tomorrow either. The plan was to get as high as possible in order to tolerate the crowds of other Asian students in fuzzy animal suits dancing to K-Pop. Tak had originally planned not to go, despite being regularly involved with the organization, but then someone had made a comment about him not really being that Asian and he wasn't about to take any shit from some third gen kid who didnt even speak his own language fluently when Tak, despite mostly appearing black, spoke nearly fluent Japanese.

They strolled another block to the party, several animals outside chatting over loud music emanating from inside. There was a gaggle of Japanese girls in matching unicorn onesies, a kangaroo, a corgi, a giraffe, two Pikachus, and a Totoro.

“I didn't know we could wear character onesies.” Tak pouted.

“Yeah that's bullshit, they said animals. I wanted to be Cthulhu.” Emory scowled, but not seriously. The Indica was taking over, and shuffling into the building was taking concentration. They shouldered their way inside and headed straight to the makeshift bar where they got juices, Ramune for Tak and grass jelly for Emory. Nearby tables held all sorts of snacks from the Asian market. There was dried squid, onigiri, rice crackers, wasabi peas, dumplings, etc. Not even the worse case of the munchies could convince Emory to eat party food that other people had touched and then put their hands to their mouths, and then back to the bowl. Gross.

The plan was to make a loop to say hello, then make another loop to say goodbye and then get the fuck out. Tak knew most people here and Emory knew a fair bit as well, but this was the first time they had gone to a college party as a couple and Emory gave no fucks what people thought, but he could tell Tak wasn't completely there yet, and considering the incident with the hummer bro, he tread carefully.

So it was a bit of a jolt when Emory introduced Tak to two vietnamese guys, Tu (Husky dog) and Rithi (racoon), as his boyfriend. Tak froze up when Tu offered out a fist to bump, and Emory caught a glimpse of Tak’s hesitation. He wasn't sure how he felt about it, but he was a little indignant. He tried to remember that Tak and he were both super high and not to trip out and what-if the hell out of a little hesitation for a handshake. It wasn't until after they had finished chatting with Tu and Rithi and Tak still wouldn't meet his eyes that he started to get pissed.

Emory spotted a back hallway leading to a door and without a word grabbed Tak’s fin in his paw and dragged him to it. He lugged the shark into the hall, glowering, before opening the door and yanking Tak inside.

It was not a back door to the outside as Emory had hoped, it was a closet. There was a mop and bucket, some big box size packages of toilet paper and paper towels, and other relevant miscellany. A bare bulb glowed from the ceiling. Emory, flustered at this development, quickly reached to lock the door behind them.

“Tak, what the fuck. I can't tell people you're my boyfriend here?” Emory asked, hurt and accusatory.

“I'm sorry I did that. I really am. I don't know why I did that.” Tak said, clearly grappling with being just a little too high for the conversation.

“If you don't want to be out at a party, you have to tell me before we get there. I don’t have a problem keeping it under wraps, especially if you don't feel safe, but you have to let me know, Tak,” Emory breathed hard through his nose when he finished speaking.

“ I do. I did. I do.” Tak stammered. It was unlike him to drop his eyes and struggle. “I,.. Emory, that was the first time anyone ever called me a faggot. I'm not joking when I say that Hummer dude scared me. I don't want to get beat up and murdered just for being in love with you. I started spacing out on the walk over here thinking about what I would do if someone tried to fuck with us. I thought about what I’d do if someone hurt you. I started just spiraling into worst case scenarios and thinking about how I take our safety for granted here. I was buggin’ out and I shut down. I'm a little too high, Im sorry,” he heaved a heavy sigh.

“For being in love with you” played on a loop in Emory’s mind as his eyes traced over Tak’s countenance, his slumped shoulders, tucked chin, arms hanging at his sides. He’d never get used to the way those words made him feel.

“UGH I can't be mad. There isn't anything to be mad about. I just want you to tell me if you don't feel safe or it there is something you need from me before we go places. I don't want to push you to be out everywhere we go but you do need to give me the heads up. I feel like an asshole for assuming without asking if we were out here,” Emory folded his arms across his chest but his eyes were soft.”I cant fight with you while you’re wearing a shark suit.”

“I want to be out here. There’s no reason to hide here. We aren’t even the only queers here. I want to show you off to people and make them hella jealous...I think being super stoned just made me paranoid. One toke over the line, man,” Tak shrugged.

Emory covered his mouth and his shoulders shook.

“What?” Tak crowded his eyebrows together.

Emory started to laugh behind his hand. “Its just that Im locked in closet with a giant in a shark suit, having a serious conversation about my relationship while Im dressed as a hedgehog, and Im super high.” He started to laugh harder, “You can’t make this shit up.”

Tak took a moment to view the situation from outside himself and yes, it was very, very hilarious. He began to giggle, then laugh, then gasp between bouts of belly laughs.

Emory watched Tak laughing and felt all warm and gooey in his chest. He want to kiss him, right now. He stepped closer, grabbing a fistful of shark suit in each hand and yanked Tak close. Tak’s laugh stopped but his smile went on for eons. Emory had the look. That look. Tak knew that he was going to do anything Emory asked when he saw that look. He leaned in to kiss Emory, one hand keeping his balance, which was intermittent right now, on a shelf. The other hand slipped into Emory’s hedgehog hood, and held the back of his neck. He could feel the heat coming off of Emory through their fuzzy suits as he pressed his body into Emory. Emory was avoiding his kiss, teasing him, making Tak chase his lips, snapping his teeth at him and smirking.

“Give me that!” Tak growled, pulling on Emory’s neck harder until his lips crashed into Emory’s. He felt Emory’s smirk fade under his own lips and his posture softened as he kissed Tak back with sensual and deep open mouth kisses, making Tak want to pitch himself into the abyss of Emory’s touch. After many moments, as kisses turned into lips on necks and ears and throats, Emory whispered into Tak’s ear,

“I really can’t wait to get you alone.”

Tak grinned. Emory knew all the buttons to push and Tak wondered how soon they could ditch this party. Tak’s hands wandered into his hood and into his hair. Emory could play cool, but not when Tak played with his hair, that was when he lost all thought being stealthy or tame. Emory’s eyes simmered and he flashed a grin before claiming Tak’s mouth again. Tak rested one long hand on Emory’s shoulder, the other in his hair, tugging close to the scalp, eliciting a rumble from Emory’s throat.

“More.” Emory demanded, digging his thumbs into Tak’s hip bones in an almost painful and insistent way. Tak pulled harder at his hair and Emory bit down viciously at his neck. Tak moaned and his head tipped back, making a loud noise when it landed on the shelf behind him. He heard someone tapping on the door, jiggling the handle. He didn't care.

“Fuck off!” he managed to shout to whomever was on the other side. The knocking stopped. “Goddamn Emory your mouth is going to kill me,” Tak murmured. Emory nipped again and pulled back to see the mark he had left on Tak’s neck, which was not discrete or small. He laughed louder than he expected to and jumped when another banging knock came from the door.

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My copies are here!!!!!!!! So excited!