#tagging some new mutuals to get to know them better
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I looooved Stains! Thank you so much for that and all you do for our mental health in these turbulent times.
Here's another request for your very long list of requests :) Reader and the Mikaelson family are very close friends. She used to have a little fling with Klaus maybe, best friends with Rebekah and so on. Elijah is always shy and Rebekah and Reader are trying to set him up after realizing he's been a monk since his last relationship ended. Elijah is failing hard at all the set-up attempts because he is madly in love with Reader. Eventually, smut ensues :)
Inevitable
18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}
{Elijah Mikaelson x f!Reader} A playful night of banter leads to Elijah's siblings setting him up on a dating app, but the only match he wants is you...
♡♡ Ahhh!!! Thank you so much, @originals23, for this amazing request! I’ve been stuck in a bit of a writing slump lately (I even scrapped my New Year’s fic... I’m so sorry, I just wasn’t happy with it). But your ideas always light a spark of inspiration for me! Thank you, and I hope you enjoy this! ♡♡
6.9k words - Warnings: smutt, dating apps, drinking, mutual pining, Elijah in a vesttt (hot & underrated), teasing, kissing, oral (m!receiving), super sappy and romantic, mild jealousy, Kol being such a little shit, Klaus being Klaus, Rebekah always trying her best, Elijah being shy and sweet, && some good old-fashioned Mikaelson bullying...
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From the moment Kol walked in with a giant bottle of scotch, you knew that tonight was going to be a late one. Rebekah had called you, inviting you over for a drink and some girl time. But Kol and Klaus decided to insert themselves into the mix. You weren’t complaining; the company was good. The Mikaelsons were your closest friends, having met them years ago. Klaus had been a brief fling, but the friendship was what truly stuck.
The playful atmosphere was infectious as you all sat around the living room, laughter bubbling at some joke Klaus made. Kol poured drinks with dramatic flair, teasing Klaus about his awkward blunders with his crush, Camille. Klaus’s glare didn’t faze his younger brother in the slightest.
"I hardly think you have any room to speak. What is the state of your love life? It seems quite nonexistent," Klaus shot back, his tone laced with mock indignation.
Kol, unfazed, chuckled and took a long swig of his drink, shaking his head. "I'd like to think it is quite thriving, thank you very much," he retorted, settling onto the couch. He leaned back smugly before adding, "In fact, I had a date yesterday."
The rest of you murmured in surprise, exchanging knowing looks.
"With who?" you asked, curiosity getting the better of you as you sat next to Rebekah. She arched an eyebrow at you, clearly already anticipating Kol’s response.
"This pretty little-" Kol began with a grin, only to be cut off by his sister’s wicked smirk.
"Witch," Rebekah finished for him, and Kol’s laugh was one of agreement rather than embarrassment.
"I suppose I have a type," he admitted with an exaggerated shrug, unbothered by the teasing. His gaze flicked to you, eyes gleaming mischievously. "What about you, love?"
The sudden attention caught you mid-sip, and you glanced at him with a raised brow. "What about me?" you asked, setting your glass down and wiping the excess liquid off your lips.
Kol’s wicked grin widened. "We all know Niklaus has thoroughly disappointed you, so I’m sure you’ve found someone more worthy to keep your bed warm."
Klaus scoffed loudly before you could respond. "Hardly disappointing. We had a grand time," he insisted, smirking at you with a glint of pride.
This time, your playful grin faltered for just a second. The memory of your fleeting fling with Klaus still lingered, though it was far behind you. While the chemistry between you and Klaus had fizzled into camaraderie, you couldn’t help the pang of something unspoken when your thoughts drifted elsewhere…toward another Mikaelson.
You shrugged, masking your thoughts with a casual smile. "Nik did just fine. Better than most of the men I find myself with," you quipped, winking at Klaus. His dimples deepened in a smug grin, clearly satisfied with your answer.
Kol, never one to let a moment slide, laughed heartily. "Those dating apps not doing you any favors, darling?" he taunted, causing you and Rebekah to share a knowing chuckle.
"Here, Kol, see for yourself," you replied, tossing him your phone with a grin that was a mix of challenge and resignation. Kol’s eyes lit up with delight as he caught it effortlessly.
He immediately began swiping through your dating app, his expression shifting between mock horror and glee. Rebekah leaned over his shoulder, giggling at the profiles and messages he unearthed.
"Men these days," Kol lamented dramatically, "back in my day, we wrote poems and courted properly. This is far too impersonal."
You raised an eyebrow, unable to resist. "Is that how you charm all the young witches? With poetry?"
Kol grinned, unabashed. "Oh, I hardly need to do any charming. They fall over themselves for me. It’s quite endearing."
"You are such a womanizer," Rebekah pointed out, shaking her head at Kol. Klaus, surprisingly, nodded in agreement, raising his glass to emphasize the point.
"You know who isn’t?" Kol mused, still swiping through the dating app on your phone. "Elijah."
The mention of Elijah caught your attention, and your curiosity piqued. "When was the last time he was in a relationship?" you asked, genuinely intrigued. You tried to recall, but nothing serious came to mind. Elijah had always seemed… reserved in that regard.
Before Kol or Rebekah could answer, they glanced behind you, their faces lighting up with amusement. You followed their gaze and felt your stomach do a little flip. Elijah had appeared, clad in a crisp white button-down and a tailored vest that seemed to fit him too perfectly for your peace of mind.
He greeted everyone with a polite smile before effortlessly slipping into the seat beside you. As he leaned over and stole your glass, his proximity made your pulse quicken. He took a sip, closing his eyes briefly as if savoring the taste, and then turned his attention to you.
"It has been a while," he replied smoothly, finally answering your question. "Why do you ask?"
For a moment, you were distracted. Not just by his words, but by the way his shirt hugged his frame and the way his sleeves were rolled up just enough to reveal strong forearms. You realized he was waiting for an answer, and heat rushed to your cheeks.
"I-I… we were wondering when you were going to get back out there," you stammered, your usual composure faltering under his steady gaze. Elijah had a way of doing that, making you nervous in the most exhilarating way.
"It has been a while," he admitted, his voice calm and measured as he shrugged. His siblings, however, were far less composed, their expressions brimming with mischief. "What?" Elijah asked, his tone tinged with suspicion.
"How long? Weeks? Months?" Kol asked, his grin widening. Then, raising his eyebrows with mock disbelief, he added, "Years?"
"None of your business," Elijah replied, a small but unmistakable smile tugging at his lips. His usual composure didn’t falter, but there was a flicker of exasperated fondness in his tone.
"Oh, it's definitely years," Klaus exclaimed with a bark of laughter. "That is quite a long time. I am shocked you have not gone mad." He took a long sip of his drink, smirking over the rim of his glass.
Elijah rolled his eyes, brushing off their jabs with practiced ease. "It hasn’t been that long," he insisted, though his siblings’ skepticism was palpable.
"Sure, sure," Rebekah teased, sharing a conspiratorial glance with Kol. You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head at their antics. The Mikaelson siblings were relentless when it came to teasing each other.
"I have an idea," Rebekah said suddenly, a devilish glint in her eye. "Let’s make you a dating profile." Before Elijah could protest, she was already reaching for his phone.
"You are not putting me on a dating website," Elijah said firmly, his brow furrowing as he attempted to grab his phone back. Rebekah, ever the quick one, held it just out of his reach, sticking her tongue out like a mischievous child.
"I think it’s a great idea," Klaus chimed in with a smirk. "You could use the release. Perhaps it will even help dislodge the stick in your ass." His laugh echoed through the room as Elijah retaliated by tossing a throw pillow at him.
Rebekah ignored the commotion and began typing on Elijah’s phone. "Let’s see… what should your bio say?" she mused aloud. Kol leaned over her shoulder, already snickering as he threw out suggestions.
"How about, 'Hi, my name is Elijah Mikaelson: your next regret. I specialize in brooding, being a bore, and eating pus-'" Kol’s suggestion was abruptly cut off by Rebekah’s sharp interruption.
"Too far, Kol!" she scolded, though she could barely suppress her own laughter.
Elijah shook his head, his expression a mix of amusement and annoyance.
Klaus, having recovered from his own laughter, chimed in, "You forgot, 'Hi, I’m Elijah. Chivalry isn’t dead because I refuse to let it die. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for anyone who crosses my family.'"
For a moment, Elijah gave him the sternest of looks, but then his lips betrayed him, curving into a reluctant smile. You caught the faint crinkle at the corners of his eyes, and it made your heart skip a beat.
"I do just fine without any of this nonsense," he said, gesturing to the phones.
Kol was quick to retort, "Well, clearly that’s not the case if it’s been years since you’ve been laid," his cheeky grin earning a round of laughter from everyone except Elijah.
"Let’s see here," Kol continued, unabashed. "What are you into?"
"You know the answer to that, Kol. It'll be something boring like books and classical music," Rebekah quipped, not even glancing up from the phone as she continued crafting Elijah’s profile.
"Those things aren't boring," you interjected, your tone firmer than you intended. You glanced at Elijah, catching the way his gaze softened in response. He offered you a small, grateful smile, the kind that made your stomach flutter despite yourself.
"Okay, I'm almost done," Rebekah announced, clearly pleased with herself as her fingers danced over the screen. A triumphant grin spread across her face. "There we go! Your profile is all set," she said, tossing his phone back to him.
Elijah caught it effortlessly, letting out a resigned sigh. "This is ridiculous," he muttered, though he dutifully swiped through the profiles, his brows furrowing slightly as he took in the absurdity of it all.
You leaned over his shoulder, your curiosity getting the better of you. His proximity sent a wave of warmth coursing through you, but you focused on the screen. "Look, you’ve got a message already!" you exclaimed, pointing out the flashing notification.
"Oh, please no," he said with a weary shake of his head, clearly dreading whatever awaited him.
"Read it aloud," Rebekah urged, pouring herself another generous glass of scotch, her eyes alight with amusement.
"What’s the point? He’s going to turn them down anyway," Klaus drawled, swirling his drink lazily.
"I’m curious as to what she’s going to say," Kol added, his grin positively wicked as he leaned in for a better look.
"She’s really pretty," you observed, noting the woman’s profile picture. Your tone was meant to sound detached, but a trace of something else…envy?..slipped through. Elijah let out a heavy sigh, his finger hovering over the message before finally opening it.
His cheeks turned a faint shade of pink as he read the text, his usually composed expression betraying a flicker of embarrassment. "You can’t be serious," he murmured, his voice low as he kept his eyes fixed on the screen.
From your angle, you caught enough of the message to know it was... bold. The woman wasn’t shy about what she wanted, and she was eager to meet him later that night. Your chest tightened, an unwelcome pang of jealousy sparking before you quickly brushed it aside.
"Oh, I’m dying to know what it says," Rebekah pressed, leaning closer in her attempt to sneak a look. "What’s her name?"
"Amanda," Elijah muttered, still scrolling through the message as if hoping it would suddenly become more tasteful.
"I bet it’s kinky," Kol teased, his voice dripping with mischief. His grin only widened when Elijah shot him a sharp glare.
"I will not dignify that with a response," Elijah said, slipping his phone back into his pocket with a firm finality. "Besides, I have no desire to go out tonight," he added, finishing his drink in a single, graceful motion.
"Oh, come on," you found yourself saying, nudging him lightly. "She’s gorgeous and looks like a lot of fun. Just meet up with her."
The words felt foreign as they left your lips, like they belonged to someone else entirely. Why were you encouraging him? Perhaps it was the alcohol clouding your judgment, or maybe it was a feeble attempt to appear unaffected. But deep down, the idea of him spending the night with another woman gnawed at you.
"As much as I appreciate the effort, I have no interest," Elijah said, his tone firm but calm. He poured himself another glass of scotch, his movements graceful and unhurried. "Besides, I've never been one for one-night stands."
"Why not? You should live a little," Rebekah mused, her gaze flickering between you two as if sensing the unspoken tension.
"It's not that I don’t enjoy life," Elijah countered, his voice steady. "I simply choose not to act on every impulse."
"So, you've never had a fling? Just for the hell of it?" you asked, genuinely surprised. The thought of someone as composed as Elijah letting go of his control intrigued you.
"I highly recommend it," Klaus interjected, a smirk tugging at his lips as he gave you a knowing look.
You quickly averted your eyes, heat creeping up your neck. You didn’t want Klaus to think his past fling with you still lingered in your mind. Clearing your throat, you forced a casual tone. "Well, it’s just not healthy to go without some kind of release. That’s all I’m saying."
Elijah’s lips curved upward, his expression almost teasing. "I’ve been alive for centuries. I think I’ll manage," he replied, taking a deliberate sip of his drink.
"Alright, alright, well, we tried," Rebekah said with a laugh, effectively steering the conversation elsewhere. Yet, as the banter continued around you, you found it impossible to focus.
Your mind was spinning, refusing to let go of the idea of Elijah… with someone else. You tried to dismiss the thought, but instead, it spiraled into something entirely different. Unbidden, an image of him shirtless, his composure unraveling, flooded your thoughts. The heat that crept up your cheeks was undeniable now.
You attempted to shake it off, but every glance in his direction seemed to pull you deeper. The way his tongue flicked to catch the remnants of scotch on his lips, the slow bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed, the way his sleeves were rolled just high enough to reveal strong, lean forearms. It was all maddeningly distracting.
But what captivated you most was his smile. Those faint creases around his eyes when he smiled. That smile that was both rare and disarming…made him impossibly handsome. It wasn’t just the smile itself; it was the way it softened his otherwise sharp, controlled features. Those creases hinted at warmth beneath his stoic exterior, and every time you saw them, your heart fluttered.
"(Y/N)?" Rebekah’s voice jolted you out of your thoughts.
"Huh? What?" you asked, blinking rapidly as you looked around the room.
"You’re flushed. Are you alright?" Rebekah asked, concern furrowing her brow.
"I think I’ve had a bit too much," you said quickly, forcing a nervous laugh.
You reached for your phone, desperate for a distraction. Scrolling through your notifications, you tried to focus on something, anything, that wasn’t Elijah. But when you opened the dating app, you froze.
There it was: Elijah’s profile. Rebekah had chosen a group photo for him, zooming in on his face, because the man had never taken a single selfie in his life. He looked effortlessly perfect, dressed in a three-piece suit, his hair slicked back, dimples on display, and his eyes warm yet piercing. Without thinking, your thumb swiped right.
The realization hit you like a freight train when Elijah’s phone buzzed almost immediately. He ignored it at first, leaving it face down on the table as he continued chatting with his siblings. Panic bubbled in your chest. Had you really just… matched with him? With him sitting right next to you?
Your hands were clammy, your heart racing as another buzz sounded. Elijah reached for his phone casually, swiping it open. His brows furrowed slightly as he read the notification, his expression shifting from confusion to stillness. Then, as if in slow motion, a small smile crept across his face. Those familiar creases at the corners of his eyes deepened, and your breath caught in your throat.
"Well, what does it say?" Kol asked, clearly reveling in the suspense.
Elijah didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he slid his phone into his pocket. His eyes met yours, and that small smile widened into something warmer, something that made your chest tighten and your pulse quicken. "Looks like I might have some fun after all," he murmured, his voice low and velvety.
Your heart skipped a beat, and a rush of heat coursed through you. Despite yourself, you couldn’t hide the grin that tugged at your lips. What had you done? And why did his reaction make you feel so… giddy?
"What? Who messaged you?" Rebekah asked.
"It’s nothing," he said dismissively, finishing his drink with a calmness that belied the electricity sparking between you.
"Oh, come on, just tell us!" Klaus pressed, a smug smile tugging at his lips. "Did you receive some nudes?"
Kol chuckled, leaning forward eagerly. "Please say yes."
Elijah rolled his eyes, his expression a mix of exasperation and fond amusement. "No, I did not," he replied, his tone calm but laced with dry humor. The corner of his mouth curved upward ever so slightly.
"You are impossible," Rebekah huffed, crossing her arms. Her annoyance at being left in the dark was clear.
Elijah straightened, adjusting his sleeves with characteristic precision. "This has been fun, but I have to go. Some of us actually have work to do tomorrow," he said smoothly, rising to his feet.
Rebekah rolled her eyes, muttering something under her breath as he moved to leave.
"Goodnight," Elijah called, his voice steady as he glanced at each of his siblings. When his gaze finally settled on you, the rest of the room seemed to fade into the background. That magical smile returned, his features softening as his eyes lingered on yours. Your stomach flipped, a warmth spreading through your chest.
"Goodnight," you managed, your voice barely above a whisper. There was a tightness in your chest, an anticipation that left you breathless. He lingered a moment longer, his eyes holding yours as if trying to convey something unspoken. Then, with a faint smile and a slight tilt of his head, he turned and disappeared upstairs.
One by one, the remaining Mikaelson siblings retired to their rooms until only you and Klaus were left. The silence between you was comfortable, broken only by the occasional clink of glasses as you both sipped on scotch.
"So," Klaus began, his voice soft as he broke the silence. "Want to go up to my room?" His tone was casual, but there was something thoughtful in his gaze as he regarded you.
You couldn’t deny the pull of his charm or the familiarity between you. It would have been so easy. To let yourself fall into old patterns, to escape into the comfort of his arms and forget everything else. But tonight, something was different.
"Not tonight," you replied with a sad smile, brushing the back of his hand affectionately. "Cami wouldn’t be very happy with you," you teased gently, hoping to lighten the moment.
"Fair enough," he relented, though a flicker of disappointment crossed his features. After a pause, his lips curved into a wry grin. "I guess Elijah wouldn’t approve either."
You blinked, startled by the mention. Before you could respond, Klaus continued, his voice quieter this time. "If there was ever anyone worthy of my brother, it’s you. You two deserve each other," he mused, his tone tinged with an unreadable emotion.
The sincerity in his words left you momentarily stunned. "Thanks," you murmured, your voice soft, unsure of what else to say.
Klaus chuckled, draining the last of his drink. "Now, get out of here," he said, his tone turning playful. "And tell my brother I said hello."
His wink was mischievous, and you couldn’t help but laugh. Just as you stood to leave, your phone buzzed in your hand. Glancing down, you saw a message from Elijah. Your breath caught.
Klaus leaned over with unabashed curiosity, catching a glimpse of the screen. His brows lifted, a smirk spreading across his face. "He’s not wasting any time," he quipped, earning an eye roll and a glare from you.
"Shut up," you muttered, though a smile tugged at your lips despite yourself. As you turned to leave, a wave of nervous anticipation washed over you. You had no idea what awaited you upstairs, but the thought of seeing Elijah in private sent a shiver of excitement through your body.
"Goodnight," you called over your shoulder, already halfway out the door.
"Good luck," Klaus called back, his laughter following you as you ascended the staircase.
The walk to Elijah’s room was a blur. Your pulse quickened with every step, your mind racing with possibilities. When you finally reached his door, your knuckles felt shaky as you knocked. The moments that followed felt endless until the door opened, revealing him.
Elijah stood there, his hair slightly disheveled, his sleeves rolled up to his forearms. He looked less composed than usual but no less striking. His gaze flickered over you, a faint smile curving his lips.
"Hey," you managed, your voice catching in your throat.
"Hey," he replied, his voice low and warm. His eyes roamed over you, his appreciation evident, and for a moment, the space between you seemed to disappear.
"So," he began, his voice steady, his eyes searching yours. "Did you get my message?"
Your heart fluttered, each beat reverberating in your chest. "Yes," you murmured, suddenly breathless under the weight of his gaze.
He tilted his head slightly, his lips curving into a faint smile, his eyes never leaving yours. "And?" he prompted, his tone soft but teasing.
"And... I'm here," you said, your voice trembling, the words escaping more unsteadily than you intended.
That smile deepened, his eyes twinkling with amusement and something far more intense. "Would you like to come in?" he asked, gesturing inside.
You nodded, unable to find your voice, your pulse hammering in your ears. He stepped aside, his gaze still locked on yours as you crossed the threshold. The door clicked shut behind you, and suddenly, the air between you felt heavier, charged. The tension was almost tangible, a magnetic pull keeping you rooted to the spot as he moved closer.
The silence stretched, the tingling warmth of his presence washing over you. For a moment, you were paralyzed by indecision. Should you kiss him? Was he about to kiss you?
Then, as if reading your thoughts, his lips met yours. The kiss was soft at first, tentative, his hands coming up to cradle your face with a tenderness that made your knees weak. Your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer, desperate to close the gap between you.
He broke the kiss first, his breathing uneven, his dark eyes fixed on yours with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine. "I have to admit, I’m surprised," he murmured, his voice low.
You blinked, trying to focus despite the lingering sensation of his lips on yours. "About what?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
"You. This. Everything," he said, his expression softening, though his gaze remained searching. "I thought you only had eyes for Niklaus," he teased gently, though there was something deeper in his tone, as if he was testing the waters.
You hesitated, hyper-aware of how close you were standing. The heat radiating off his body, the faint scent of his cologne, the brush of his breath against your skin. "It wasn’t anything serious," you said quietly, your words tentative but honest.
His thumb brushed along your jawline, the gesture achingly tender. "So, you're single then," he murmured, his voice dipping lower, the sound a mix of relief and desire.
"Yes," you breathed, the word barely audible.
"Good," he whispered, his lips ghosting over yours, so close you could feel the warmth of his breath. "Because I have no intention of sharing you."
The possessive edge in his tone sent a thrill down your spine, igniting something deep within you. Before you could respond, his lips were on yours again, this time with more urgency. The kiss was deeper, hungrier, his tongue parting your lips and exploring, tasting you in a way that made your knees buckle.
You groaned softly, the sound muffled by his mouth, and began fumbling with the buttons on his vest, desperate to remove the barriers between you. He smiled against your lips, his hands sliding down your back to cup your ass, pulling you against him with a boldness that surprised you.
You had expected his gentlemanly demeanor to carry over, but his touch was insistent, his movements deliberate and confident. His grip tightened, and before you knew it, he had lifted you effortlessly, your legs wrapping around his waist instinctively.
Your heart pounded as he carried you to the bed, the world narrowing to the feel of his body pressed against yours and the heat building between you. When he laid you down gently, his weight above you, the realization hit. You wanted this. Every moment, every touch, every kiss.
This was happening.
Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as he trailed kisses along your jawline and down the sensitive column of your neck. You continued to fumble with the buttons on his vest, the task made more difficult by his mouth, which was now exploring the sensitive skin below your ear.
"Impatient, aren't we?" he whispered, his lips grazing the shell of your ear, the sound making your skin tingle.
"Maybe a little," you gasped, arching your hips into his as he bit down gently, his tongue soothing the mark immediately after.
You felt his weight shift as he shrugged off his vest, the sound of fabric falling to the floor making your heart race even faster. His hands were everywhere, firm yet gentle. As though he couldn’t decide whether to savor or devour you.
His hands slid down your sides, tracing the curve of your waist and settling on your hips. His grip tightened, pulling you flush against him, and you couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped you at the contact. Every move, every touch seemed to stoke the fire between you, the heat building to an unbearable intensity.
You tugged at the collar of his shirt, urging him to remove it, the need for his bare skin against yours overwhelming. With a low chuckle, he pulled away long enough to comply, discarding the shirt onto the growing pile of clothing.
You had always suspected he was hiding an impressive physique underneath his suit, but the sight of him still managed to catch you off guard. Toned muscles, smooth skin, those broad shoulders… and those arms. God, his arms.
You traced the outline of his bicep appreciatively, your fingers moving upward to follow the lines of his collarbone. He watched you explore, the way your eyes moved over his chest, following the faint trail of dark hair leading to his abdomen. A hint of a smirk pulled at his lips, clearly enjoying the effect he was having on you.
You felt your cheeks go warm, and you reached down and pulled your dress up and over your head in one fluid motion. It was his turn to blush, the look on his face shifting from amusement to unmistakable desire. His gaze trailed over you, taking in the sight of your newly exposed skin, his eyes darkening with need.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered, dipping his head to plant kisses along your collarbone, his lips brushing against the tops of your breasts.
He shifted his weight, rolling you both onto your sides. His hand lifting your thigh and hooking your leg around his hip, and his fingertips grazed the soft skin on the inside. Your eyes met his, and the heat pooling between your legs was impossible to ignore.
His fingers gently grazed the edge of your panties, the fabric already soaked through with need. He let out a soft groan at the discovery, his thumb moving steadily over the little nub of nerves through the thin cotton.
A sharp intake of breath was all you could manage as his deft fingers continued their torture. He was drawing patterns against the fabric, sending jolts of pleasure through your body with every stroke. Your hips rocked against him, your hands pressed into his chest, nails digging into his skin.
He hummed softly, a hint of amusement in the sound. He was enjoying this. Seeing you squirm beneath him, reduced to a mess of desire. Your eyes met his, and his gaze was filled with a mix of fondness and lust.
"Don't tease," you managed, your voice hoarse with need.
"As you wish," he murmured, slipping his hand inside your panties.
He was nothing like Klaus, who was rough and urgent, taking what he wanted and giving just enough to leave you wanting more. No, Elijah was a different beast entirely.
You felt his fingers trace your entrance, slick and ready for him, before finally easing inside. He groaned, a sound so low and primal it made your toes curl. You arched into his hand, the feeling of his thick fingers filling you completely.
"'Lijah," you gasped, your words trailing off into a breathless moan as he began moving inside you with deep, slow strokes.
He continued his unhurried pace, smiling as he watched you squirm and pant beside him. His thumb returned to circle your clit, the combination exquisite. He seemed to know exactly how you liked it. How much pressure to apply, when to quicken the pace, when to slow down. All you could do was cling to him, your head spinning as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through your body.
You felt the familiar pressure building, and you closed your eyes, lost in the sensation. His free hand cupped your cheek, tilting your chin up. Your eyes fluttered open to meet his, dark and intense.
"Eyes on me," he whispered, his voice commanding but tender.
You couldn't look away, caught in his spell, as your release began to crest. You felt him increase the pressure, the rhythmic stroking of his fingers pushing you over the edge. A sharp cry left your lips as the tension snapped, ripples of pleasure spreading through your body.
Your fingers curled into his skin, nails leaving crescent-shaped marks on his shoulder. He looked down at the marks, a small, satisfied smile curving his lips.
You kissed him slowly, lazily, your body still humming with pleasure. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer, his erection pressing against your thigh, a silent plea.
You reached between you, cupping his length through his pants, he let out a soft hiss, watching you through hooded eyes, his breath coming in shallow gasps. His pupils were dilated, his cheeks flushed.
"Let me take care of you now," you whispered, palming his length.
He nodded, his lips parting in anticipation as you reached for his belt. You made quick work of it, freeing his erection from its confines.
You hummed appreciatively, admiring the way he filled your palm, so hard and smooth. With your other hand you pushed on his chest, guiding him to lie flat, his head on the pillow.
Your heart thudded as you positioned yourself over him, taking in the sight of him, laid out before you. His eyes were filled with anticipation and need, his expression almost boyish. He looked almost... innocent? Nervous? It was hard to read.
With a wicked grin, you bent down and wrapped your lips around him, sucking gently. A guttural moan tore from his throat, his hands finding their way into your hair. He didn't push, but held on as if his life depended on it.
You swirled your tongue around the tip, teasing and tasting. You took him further, relaxing your throat to accommodate his length. You moaned around him, the vibration eliciting a gasp from him.
You pressed a hand into his hips, keeping him steady, as your head bobbed up and down. Your other hand stroked the base of his shaft, coaxing him further, deeper. His hips jerked, trying to gain leverage, but your grip was firm.
His breathing was ragged, his chest rising and falling in short bursts. You had never seen him so disheveled, so undone. It was a heady feeling. Knowing that you were responsible for making the most refined man you had ever known fall apart.
You continued working him, using every trick you knew, drawing him closer and closer to the edge. He was murmuring things, his words tumbling out in a string of barely coherent compliments.
You hummed, enjoying his incoherence, the way his fingers tugged at your hair. The pressure was building, his breath becoming shorter and shallower. He was so close, you could taste it. You pulled back slightly, your tongue swirling around the tip once more.
He let out a low groan, his hips stilling as he spilled into your mouth. You swallowed him greedily, savoring the taste of him, the sounds he made.
You looked up at him, taking in the sight of his parted lips, the sheen of sweat covering his forehead. He looked beautiful. Wild and untamed. And completely yours.
The realization washed over you, sending a jolt of something unfamiliar through your body. Before you could examine it, he was pulling you underneath him, taking back control. His lips found yours, kissing you deeply, his hands sliding under your hips, pressing you closer.
The two of you just kissed for awhile, unhurried, enjoying the feel of each other. Your fingers explored his body, learning every dip and curve, committing him to memory.
"I must confess, it actually has been years," he said suddenly, breaking the silence. His words were spoken into the crook of your neck, his voice slightly muffled.
You couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up, his confession so unexpected.
"It's alright, I won't tell anyone," you teased, carding your fingers through his hair.
He leaned back, his eyes shining with amusement. "That would be preferable," he agreed, planting a kiss on the underside of your jaw.
"The wait was worth it," he whispered, his voice low and full of promise.
You couldn't stop the blush that crept up your neck, his words sending a fresh wave of heat through your body. He had that effect on you. Making you feel things you had never experienced before. He was so commanding yet tender. So confident, yet vulnerable.
You tugged him closer, wanting to be engulfed by his scent, his warmth. He obliged, slowly parting your legs with his knee, his erection pressing into the apex of your thighs.
He leaned down, his lips ghosting over yours, his breath warm against your cheek. "Is this okay?" he whispered, his question genuine.
You nodded, not used to the way he was taking his time. You had never had someone take such care, treating your body like something delicate, precious. It was an odd feeling, and you found yourself craving it, eager to see what he would do next.
He brushed his nose against yours, a tender gesture, his hands lifting your thighs, pressing them against your stomach. You could feel his hard length against you, but he remained still, his gaze searching yours.
You realized he was waiting for an invitation. "Please," you breathed, unable to say more, your mind too focused on the feel of him, the heat building inside you.
His fingers gripped the back of your thighs, the pressure enough to bruise, as he eased into you slowly. Your eyes fluttered shut, his thickness stretching you, filling you completely. You moaned, your fingers digging into his biceps.
He began to move, his thrusts slow and deliberate, each one sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. He set a perfect rhythm, his hips rolling against yours in a way that left you breathless.
Your hips rose to meet his, colliding in perfect harmony, his breath warm against your cheek. He murmured words of encouragement, his voice hoarse and low. Your name escaped his lips in a breathless gasp, the sound almost a prayer.
You could feel his love, his admiration, in every touch, every kiss, every stroke. It wasn't just sex. It was Elijah pouring every ounce of his devotion into you. You understood why he wasn't a man for one-night stands. He couldn't separate the act from the emotion. And for some reason, you couldn't either. Not with him.
His hands slid to your hips, steadying your movements as he slowed his thrusts, savoring the way you fit together. "Perfect," he breathed, his lips grazing the side of your neck, his breath hot on your skin.
"Elijah," you whimpered, his name escaping in a gasp.
He was unraveling you, piece by piece, every thrust bringing you closer to the edge. You could feel the pressure building, the familiar heat pooling deep inside you. You closed your eyes, your fingers curling into his skin as the first waves of your orgasm washed over you.
"That’s it," Elijah whispered, his voice like velvet against your ear, low and intimate.
Your body trembled, a moan escaping your lips as the waves of pleasure crashed over you, your body tensing, then relaxing. He rode you through it, his own release following yours, he groaned, his forehead resting against yours.
For a moment, the world around you faded away, your thoughts only of him. You breathed each other in, the two of you still joined, hearts racing.
When the fog cleared, and reality came rushing back, all you could think about was the way his skin felt against yours. His body, warm and solid above you. You had never had sex like that before. It was intense, almost spiritual. You couldn't explain it, but there was something different about him. Something you had never experienced with anyone else.
"Well, that was..." you trailed off, looking up at him through your lashes.
He met your gaze, a hint of amusement in his expression. "Indeed," he murmured, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
You let out a soft giggle, your cheeks warming under the weight of his stare. You snuggled into his chest, his strong arm wrapping around you, holding you close.
You stayed like that for a while, enjoying the feel of his bare skin against yours. Your fingers absently traced patterns along his chest, his heartbeat steady and strong. You had never felt more content, more at ease.
"You're welcome to stay," he whispered, his lips brushing against the top of your head.
You hummed in agreement, letting him pull the blankets around you. You couldn't remember the last time you had felt so comfortable. So safe.
The soft buzzing of his phone pulled you both back to reality, a reminder that the world outside still existed. Elijah sighed, the sound half-amused, half-irritated.
"Who is it?" you asked, the question partially muffled by his chest.
"It doesn't matter," he replied, his voice soft and reassuring.
You lifted your head, looking at the screen, and noticed all the messages notifications from the dating app. You chuckled.
"Someone is popular," you said, teasing him lightly.
He shrugged, a sheepish look on his face. You reached out and opened a message from one of his many suitors, a blonde woman who was unafraid to get right to the point.
‘My place? ;)’, the message read, along with a very provocative picture.
"I don't understand why people think sending a photo like that is appropriate," Elijah mused, his tone indignant.
You burst out laughing, the thought of Elijah, in all his old-fashioned glory, unable to comprehend the dating app culture, was too much.
"Oh come on, don't tell me you didn't expect this," you teased, poking him gently in the ribs.
He caught your hand, bringing it up to his lips, the gesture so intimate, you could feel your cheeks flush.
"I'm aware of what dating apps are for, I'm just not interested in the kind of attention she's offering," he replied, his eyes meeting yours, the warmth in his gaze making your heart race.
"It's not all bad, you know," you said, a hint of mischief in your voice. "It worked for us," you pointed out.
He arched an eyebrow, his expression thoughtful. "I suppose you're right," he conceded, his lips curving into a small smile. "But we would have ended up here regardless," he added, his confidence unwavering.
"Is that so?" you replied, trying to hide the way your heart was hammering against your chest.
"Yes," he said simply, the certainty in his voice leaving no room for doubt.
"And why is that?" you pressed, enjoying the way he was looking at you, his gaze full of adoration.
“This,” he murmured, his voice low and steady, “was always meant to happen. You and I… we’re inevitable.”
You smiled softly, your fingers brushing along his jawline. “Inevitable,” you repeated, the word tasting like a promise on your tongue. Whatever doubts or fears you had melted away in the warmth of his gaze, the quiet certainty that seemed to anchor you to this moment. As his arms tightened around you, pulling you closer, you realized that this was exactly where you were meant to be.
Wrapped in his embrace, your future unfolding one shared heartbeat at a time.
#elijah mikaelson#the originals#the vampire diaries#vampire diaries#Rebekah Mikaelson#tvdu#Kol mikaelson#klaus mikaelson#elijah mikaelson smut#elijah mikaelson imagine#elijah mikealson imagine#elijah mikealson#elijah mikaelson x reader#elijah mikealson x reader#tvd#the vampire diaries x you#the vampire diaries x reader#the vampire diares imagine#the vampire diaries imagine#the originals imagine#elijah mikealson smut
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Hello Tumblr, it’s been a while.
First of all, wishing everyone a Happy New Year! Hoping that 2025 has been good so far and for the rest of the solar cycle <3 The past few months have been a little rough for me, as I have been dealing with some behind-the-scenes stuff, though I will be fine, don’t you worry. I’ve been through far worse.
Unfortunately, it means that I’ve lost the passion for Young Iron, I honestly think that the passion has been dwindling for a long time now, since at least May 2024. I think it was a factor of a lot of things; my hyperfixation slowly waning, feeling like the story losing its focus and getting out of hand plus noticing that a lot of my ideas were being copied.
To clarify, I don’t mind if people take ideas I put forward in my writing, in fact, I do encourage it and love seeing what people come up with. It excites me and inspires me to write more. I want people to be creative and to be inspired to write their own stories, hell their own Tornado’s because you can never have enough Tornado’s in the world.
However, my issues started after introducing and talking about future concepts of my stories with others and having people immediately ask if they could take and use these concepts/characters in their own AUs before I could even write them into my own started to discourage me. This is one of the reasons why all the posts on Broken Records have been deleted and I removed myself from most of the ttte groups I was in. I wanted to discuss my ideas with others, not have them immediately stolen for other people’s AUs.
It’s disheartening to not be able to flesh out my own characters or ideas before someone comes in and takes the idea away to make their own. Maybe I’m being petty or perhaps a bit protective, I don’t know, but it felt rude to me.
That being said, please don’t be scared to post and continue writing stuff inspired by Young Iron. If you want to write stories about any of the characters I’ve introduced in the Young Iron stories, please feel free to go right on ahead and even tag me if you want. I really do genuinely love this kinda stuff, it might even inspire me to come back.
Either way, I still do have plans to finish Young Iron. In Pursuit of Self was always going to be the last in the series, I want the series it to have a definitive end, unlike my previous series with Godzilla which just randomly dropped off. I want to finish it but when things are looking up and things have gotten better.
In other news, Transformers One really got me into a Transformer’s hyper fixation so you might see some new things in regards to the Transformers franchise. (Probably not ONE related but you never know.)
Wishing all my followers and mutuals a wonderful 2025!
Stay Safe, smooth running and dry rails!
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google how to get someone to stop reading about crypto and using degenerate
#jesus christ. i tried to move them over to tumblr to get them off reddit but they just go back to the tumblr subreddit every time.#if i tell them to do something they do it but then they put a new and fascinating /neg spin on it#like i told them to follow more ppl on here and they followed about 50 ppl that seemingly never post and i told them to make their cute#little project a sideblog so they can rb stuff but they made it their main and cant rb anything now#i tell them to be vague about the details of homestuck so that their mom doesnt stop trusting me and they decide its a better idea to keep#calling it a cringey bad old webcomic that i really love because i have bad taste#i tell them to stop using degenarate because its a nazi dogwhistle but they decide thats just stupid i guess and keep using it#i think theyre gonna become a crypto bro they have like 5 books about it#they've been on reddit since they were like 10 i dont think i can get them out of there but they should at least go on better subreddits#instead of r/iam14andthisisdeep and r/tumblr and r/whitepeopletwitter and r/nonpoliticaltwitter and who knows what else#its especially the r/tumblr part that i dont get. because they literally have a tumblr account#if theres a specific user that you see making posts you like on the subreddit go follow them! scroll thru tags of things you like and follo#all the blogs! be annoying and put out a post asking for mutuals tagged with fandoms you like!#oh and they rlly like r/nosleep i wish i could get them to go on the creepypasta wiki instead because at least thatll give them some shared#references with the wider internet and ppl their age. their mom has literally no pop culture references whatsoever so im trying to help the#but its honestly really hard when they dont do what i tell them to do. jesus i sound awful dont i#real sasha waybright moment. “you are going to follow 100 more blogs and turn off algorithm stuff now. end of discussion.”#it's not like they have a community and friends on reddit they dont even have an account theyve been lurking for years#they dont even have the app they use the mobile website. ugh im being so bitchy rn ill just shut up#maybw if yall see that this is how i think then youll realize that im not exactly worth interacting with#sorry for spiraling on ya. im pmsing.#and i have a whole disorder about that so
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gojo satoru x reader | oneshot angst [18+]
title. let me be free of you
He would live in this lifetime of hell over and over again if it meant that in some other one, there exists a world where he never hurts you.
ᰔ pairing. friends to strangers au - best friend!gojo x reader (f)
ᰔ summary. gojo satoru, your love of a lifetime, tells you he’s engaged to another woman. inspired by the novel & netflix series “one day” created by david nicholls
ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fem!reader, angst, mentions of sex/explicit content, coming of age themes, reader & gojo are in their 30s, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of alcohol, cheating, lots of mutual pining & longing, bittersweet ending
ᰔ word count. 4.8k
a/n. hellooo! i've had this finished in my wips folder for a long time but never got around to posting it sooo just wanted to let it see the light of day haha. hope you enjoyyy <33
➸ masterlist
“I’m engaged.”
The words leave Gojo’s lips as much less of a confession and more like a blabber, like a toddler desperate to keep conversation going in the face of a disinterested adult. Wasn’t how he expected to share the news of a lifetime to the love of his lifetime, but he hopes it breaks your heart to hear it.
He watches your eyebrows flatten from the crease that was bothering them before, and then slowly raise into soft arches above your eyes–those damn beautiful eyes that, even when they twinkle with hurt, still make his heart skip a beat in his chest.
He recalls for a moment the night the two of you met, drunk and dizzy from drinking out of a shared bottle of Prosecco, which only had half of the liquor left in it to start when he had first found it bleeding out to dry on the grassy lawn at the front of your university. It was graduation night, the last day to celebrate finishing four years of hell, and he had nothing to his name other than a rolled up diploma shoved in the pocket of his suit pants and the charm left in the youth of his smile. He wanted to spend the night with Aiko Rei, which was not a unique desire as most men on campus did, and he had a fair shot of getting into bed with her just like all those times before. But instead he was sitting at the top of a staircase inside the campus’s English literature building, making history in the crisp year of 1986 by being the first man of the robust age of twenty-three to pass up sex with the school’s lady heartthrob for–well, conversation with a sort of ditsy girl that he just met a half hour ago.
“What do you plan to do with your life?” he heard you ask him, a hard enough question to stomach when one is sober, and an impossible question to stomach when one is already trying not to puke flat Prosecco.
“Pardon?” he asked, in hopes to dissuade you from the question. In hopes that you’d get the hint. But you don’t. And he’d soon learn throughout the years of your friendship to come that you never did.
“Your life!” you exclaim, “we’re graduates now! What do you want to do with it?” You pat harshly at his thigh, closer to his groin than to his pocket, most likely because you’re tipsy too, but he realizes you’re referring to the rolled up paper protruding at the pocket.
Truthfully, Gojo had never thought much about what he wanted to do after graduation. Hell, he didn’t even think he’d make it this far. Not once since he got here, not once since he flunked out of first-year history, not once since his father passed away during his third-year final examinations, and most certainly not after he got caught having “unethical affairs” with his communications professor just two months ago. And yet the esteemed board of scholars decided he was fit for a diploma anyway, and now he’s answering to, effectively, a stranger what he plans to do with said piece of paper.
“I don’t know,” he says to you, “I’ll do whatever.”
Gojo Satoru could get by with doing whatever. He was good at everything he did. But his teachers and mentors and his own father would always warn him– son, it’s better to be an expert at one than a half-assed show-off in all. Well, they wouldn’t use the expletives, but that’s what it had sounded like in his head.
His dad would’ve liked you. He was always telling him to find a girl that challenges him, asks him the right questions, and pushes him to become a better man, the kind of woman his mother was to his father. Much opposed to the airheaded girls of Gojo’s college campus he would sneak into the house and forget to shoo off before sunrise, an occurrence that happened enough times for the respect in his father’s eyes to dwindle with each woman he’d watch his son dispel from their residence. Until eventually, Gojo started paying rent as punishment.
So, twenty-three year old Gojo, what do you plan to do with your life? Or do you have no idea of anything that extends beyond where you are right now, sitting across this strange girl you’ve just met on the death of your educational youth, at the top of a stairwell lined with passed out, drunk newly grads at nearly 4 in the morning? Right now, he’s eyeing the hem of your dress, the way it’s ridden up slightly but the mesh overskirt still tickles the skin of your thigh. He’s certainly able to picture what’s beyond that fabric, and maybe imagine the color of your panties, but what’s to come for his life? No. As previously mentioned, he never thought he’d get this far.
Gojo is thirty-four now, eleven years since that night the two of you met. And he sits next to you on a garden bench under a pitch black sky with stars speckled across, but only dimly visible.
It’s been years since he’s seen you. You two had a “falling out” at the cusp of thirty, almost a decade of friendship fizzled away, because of his selfish actions. He couldn’t let you go, but he couldn’t want you the way you wanted him either. He didn’t feel like he deserved to have you. You were too good for him, and he knew it. So he wasted a decade chasing after other women, and in return, he lost the one he knew he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with.
It’s the night of your college roommate‘s wedding, all gathered here today to celebrate their love, and he knew he’d run into you here. You were the bride’s maiden of honor, and you looked beautiful. With your hair half tied up, a pretty clip twinkling with every movement of your head, and with strands falling down over the smooth curve of your neck, bare skin of your chest tightly covered by the nude fabric of your dress. He was fully lusting after you, and he has been all night, the picture of beauty and grace, and it was wrong. Because, again, he’s–
“You’re engaged?” you finally break through his thoughts, break through the trance that he was lost in by the sea of your eyes. Forever pulling him in like you were a wicked siren for his soul, when all you’ve ever wanted from him was his love.
He shifts a little, the thick fabric of his navy blue suit stretching with the movement as he fidgets with his hands in his lap. He’s sitting close to you, his shoulder brushing against yours, the contrast of his broad masculinity so evident against the feminine curve of your bare arm, the thin strap holding up your dress threatening to fall down the hill. His thumb twitches, because he wants to pull it back up into place for you like a gentleman, but he’s not sure if that’s what his hand would actually do. Because all he really wants to do is peel the dress off of you.
“Yes,” he says, still tantalized by the glow of your skin under pale moonlight, “engaged.”
“To be married?”
“Well, what other kind of engaged is there?”
“You’re not allowed to get married.”
He snorts. “Says who?”
“Says me!” you exclaim, sitting up straighter, "I turn my back for one moment, and you've gone an got engaged? You're awful!" The strap of your dress falls down over your shoulder, his eyes immediately darting to it. He sees you pull the strap up back into place, and a flit of his eyes to your face reveals to him the slight dusting of an embarrassed pink to your cheeks.
There’s a silence that settles between the two of you. Distant commotion is heard, likely from the wedding venue as people engage in reception activities and dances and cheers, while the two of you remain in this garden escape, the wall of primly trimmed bushes sheltering you two from having to pretend to be people you’re not amongst a crowd.
“Aiko…” he hears you say beside him, and although the name of the woman that has rolled off your tongue is the name of the woman he’s supposed to love, it only makes him feel sick to his stomach to hear you say her name. “She seems lovely.”
“She is,” is all he can manage to say. And he also knows this seemingly lovely woman is probably drunk off her face back at the reception hall, giggling at all the men that approach her from the sight of her flushed face, and he should feel some sort of jealousy or possessiveness over that, but he can’t seem to muster any. Unlike the grit he had to his jaw an hour ago when he saw you dancing with a man he heard you introduce to your friends as just an “old friend” of yours from college. He felt more anger in that moment than he’d ever felt watching his soon-to-be-wife getting talked up to by the sleazy men twice her age.
“She must be very rich,” you say. “She looks it.”
“Oh. Yeah. Her family’s very well off,” Gojo says.
“So will you become rich too?” you ask him, “when you marry her.”
His eyes flit to the sky briefly. “Doubt it.”
“How come?”
“The old man doesn’t like me very much. I imagine he’ll cut ties after the wedding.”
“Her father?”
“Yes.”
“And why is that?”
“Well. I guess it’s not every father’s dream to find out his prim and proper daughter’s been knocked up by the good-for-nothing boyfriend he’s been threatening her to say good riddance to for months now.”
The silence finds the two of you again, but this time haunting and gutting. That was a blabber, if anything. So nonchalantly said, with no emotion or spirit, to the one person in this world who he’s always felt like he can be himself around.
“She’s pregnant?” you say beside him, voice breaking slightly at the end, and he can’t bear to look at you for some reason. Some sort of admission of guilt, but what for? What exactly was he repenting for?
He lets out a small laugh, like the absurdity of the situation finds him all the same. “Yeah.”
“That–” you start, stiff next to him, before he feels the tension relax but only rigidly, “that’s wonderful, Satoru. I’m–...I’m really happy for you.” You turn your torso to wrap your arms around him, and his lips brush the sweet skin on your forehead as you bury your face in the crook of his neck. He wraps one arm around you, a sort of friendly hug as he rubs the skin of your arm soothingly, and his heart aches from the emptiness when you release him.
“Wow…” you say, looking up at him with pretty eyes, eyelashes fluttering as you blink rapidly to process the information, and he wonders if you really are happy for him. He doesn’t want you to be. He wants you to be furious, to tell him off for getting another woman pregnant after leading you on for so many years, maybe he wants you to slap him, or grab him by the collar of his shirt and shake him until all he sees is a million of you through dizzy vision like some paradise. He wants you to be mad, because it’d mean that you still care. It’d mean that you still think there’s something here to salvage between the two of you.
But he’s engaged. And he’s having a baby. What was more final than that?
“So…are you marrying her because of–”
“The wedding is in four weeks,” he cuts you off, but he knows the statement answers your question regardless.
“Satoru…”
He leans off to the side a little to reach into the pocket of his suit pants, and he pulls out what is now a slightly bent envelope and he hands it to you. You take it from him gently, holding it weakly like it was something beyond you. Like something distant and foreign and strange. When all it was, is a wedding invitation.
“Listen…” he starts.
He sees your eyes dazed as you stare at the lettering on the outside of the envelope.
“We’ve been friends for a long time, y/n. And I know the last time we saw each other was–” Hostile. Angry. Disappointing. Ended with you cussing him out on the street and then saying you never want to see him again. “...not ideal, but I still care a lot about you, and, uh, so, it would mean a lot to me if you came to the wedding.” For fucks sake, even on the brink of losing you forever, he still can’t find the right words to say. “Aiko, she–” He tastes bitter in his mouth, “well, I’ve told her a lot about you, and she’d really love it if you came as well.”
You’re silent as you gently peel back the opening of the letter and then pull out the small card stock invitation. The gold printed letters shine as you inspect it, fingers tracing the patterns of words that profess the Rei family’s intent to wed their daughter to Gojo Satoru. Your Gojo Satoru. Your best friend in this whole wide world. He watches your eyes carefully, but he can’t discern what he finds in them.
“Gojo Satoru…” you drone off, “to be wed. And to be a father.” Years of late night talks of the future, of kids and Christmas and love, with reality seemingly sly on the horizon only to have crept up so abruptly. It was pinched between your fingers right now. That reality.
His shoulders sulk slightly. And when you look up at him again, there’s a sheen of tears in your eyes.
“I can’t come to this,” you whisper, “and you know that, Satoru.”
His heart breaks. A physical pain that twists in his chest so tight at just the sight of seeing you sad. Sad again over the actions of his own. They say you always hurt the one you love, and he had always wondered what sort of evil person would do such a thing, only to find out he’s only ever hurt you this entire time.
He should’ve kissed you that night the two of you met at graduation. Should’ve shut you up and all your existential questions by pinning you to a wall and pressing his lips against yours. He should’ve taken you to bed and fucked you, and then held you in his arms until you woke up in the morning. Should’ve listened to you talk his ear off about how he’s just like all the other guys, who pretend to care, but only want to have sex and then never to speak to the girl ever again. And he should’ve laid there in bed, nose nuzzled in your hair, taking all the scolding despite having no intent to ever leave you.
Instead, he wasted so much time. Sure, he had your friendship. His best friend for years, but the two of you could’ve been something more. Could’ve spent the years together, instead of writing stained letters or leaving messages on answering machines while the two of you were miles away. He could’ve been waking up with you every morning with the scent of your shampoo on his sheets, instead of clinging to pillows in foreign motel rooms. He could’ve been engaged to you, and he could be whispering sweet nothings in your ear of how much he wishes the baby will have your eyes.
But his thoughts are lost in fantasy. He is what he’s done, nothing more and nothing less. His eyes fall to your lap, the invitation still held loosely in your hand, and then a droplet of water falls onto it.
“I–” you stutter, wiping at the tears spilling down your cheeks with a hesitant swipe of your hand, “I need to go.”
You stand up off the bench and he quickly stands up with you, grabbing your wrist to keep you here with him, and you halt but only with you facing away from him. He yanks at your wrist harshly, pulling you into him so his chest is flush to your back, his arms wrapping strongly around you and his nose nuzzling into your hair, breathing you in greedily like it’s the last time he’ll ever get the chance.
“Satoru–” you gasp, your hands immediately grabbing at his forearms that are tightly crossed across your collarbone. “What are you doing–”
“Say it,” he whispers, gruff and impatient, “tell me to do it, and I will.”
“T-Tell you to do what?” you stutter, struggling a little in his hold but he only holds you tighter.
“Tell me to leave her, and I will,” he says, his lips brushing at your ear now, the scent of your perfume maddening to his senses, and one of his hands slowly trails down and the knuckle of his thumb presses into the softness of your breast.
You squirm, a small and soft moan leaving your lips.
“T–” you breathe in harshly, “this is wrong.”
“I don’t care,” he growls, arms sliding lower to hold you under your breasts, so tightly that your heels lift off the ground. “Just say the word, and I’ll leave everything behind for you. I promise,” he breathes in deep, the desperation making his head hazy, “that I’ll do things right this time. Just you and me–”
“You’re going to be a father,” you remind him, and he shuts his eyes closed tightly, the responsibility of the word bearing on his shoulders but his desire for you overshadows every shred of sense or dignity or integrity he has left in him, because he felt like he was losing his mind after wanting you for years just to never have you.
He turns you around in his hold so that you face him, and he crashes his lips to yours, muffling the surprised mmf! that dies in your throat in surprise as his hands hold your waist, relishing in the feeling of satin fabric pulled taut over your curves.
Forbidden, yet a taste that he’ll risk because there was no curse that was worse than the fate of having to pine after you for years.
Ah.
But.
But it was all fantasy, this moment in his head, where he takes you on the freshly cut grass of this garden.
Something that only briefly flashes through his mind as his warm hand wraps around your wrist, from where he was still seated on the stone bench, and not on his feet holding you like he dreamed for. Like he longed for.
He feels the weight of his arm so heavily, as if it weren’t his own, and he slowly lets go of your wrist.
When he looks up at you, there’s longing in your eyes. A hurt that he didn’t even know he was capable of causing, just for him to realize that you’ve always looked at him that way, and he’s never been keen enough to know it until now. He grew up too late. He took too long.
His phone starts buzzing in his pocket, and he reaches in for it, then flips it open and sees his soon-to-be-wife’s name on it. He feels nothing at the sight.
“Hello?” he speaks into the device when he holds it to his ear, and he sees you take a couple steps away, rubbing anxiously at your elbow as you pretend to busy yourself with the study of the lamp. “Yes, I’ll be there soon. I, uh, I’m just with a friend. A couple of friends, actually. We’re having drinks by the pond. Mhm. Yes. I will. Okay, see you soon. I—…I love you too. Bye.” And then he snaps the phone shut.
“Heading back?” he hears you ask.
He stands. “I’ve got to.”
“Okay.”
You two walk down the shrubbery of the garden that was arranged like a maze, him a few paces behind you, and he watches the delicate line of your posture as your hand brushes against the green walls of foliage that encase the two of you, the feeling of wanting to touch you and hold you almost suffocating.
“Hey,” he calls out to you, and he shoves his hands in his suit pockets. You turn around immediately to face him, like his voice was permission to do so.
“Yes?” you ask.
He blinks up at the starry sky, and then looks at you again. The soft cast of distant warm lighting falls over your face, making you appear like a renaissance painting, similar to those that you would point out to him at museums when you two would see each other on holiday back in your early twenties. He could never understand the charm of those paintings, no matter how many times you tried to explain it to him, but seeing you in this light right now, he finally understands the beauty that you saw.
“I’m, uh,” he rubs at the back of his neck, and then scoffs out a small laugh, “I’m a little drunk right now, but–” He stops himself. What was he trying to say? And was it of conscious mind? “I just need to tell you that…I really regret…not speaking to you. I mean, for letting the silence drag on for years. You’re my–...my best friend. We’re a pair, you know? The two of us. For years, people would ask me where you were. And why they haven’t seen us together at all recently. And it was hard to admit that we hadn’t spoken in years.”
You take the smallest of steps towards him, and look up at him with empty eyes.
“What I’m trying to say is, is that, well,” he finds himself tripping over his words, “I miss you. And I miss our friendship. And–...I miss having you around.” He glances down at his shoes, polished and reflecting off the moonlight directly above him. He rocks back and forth on his heels ever so slightly. “I know you said that I piss you off to lengths unimaginable to my tiny pea-sized brain, but I can’t help myself, y/n,” he admits, “I think you and I, we’re just meant to always be. In some how, or some way…”
You purse your lips together, gaze shifting lower to eye at the silk of his tie.
“Can we be friends again?” he asks, the words feeling juvenile on his tongue. Like whispered apologies between children on a playground after shoving one another onto wooden chips, except the wounds he’s left on you run much deeper than a superficial scrape.
You blink slowly, tilting your head up at him. “Friends?”
“Friends.”
You wipe your palm off on the satin of your dress. “I missed you too, you know.”
His eyes widened slightly.
Your hand finds its way up your arm, until you weakly cup your elbow with your palm and look off to the side, avoiding eye contact with him. “There were so many years where I thought that there was something between us. And maybe I was foolish for thinking that way, that you would ever see me that way–”
“y/n,” he tries to interrupt you.
“But…the pain of not having you the way I wanted to was much less worse than the pain of not having you at all,” you say, your gaze finally shifting towards him. “But, the thing is, I needed to feel that pain to get over you. I had to.”
His heart stills at those words.
You glance down at the ground now. “I missed being able to tell you things. To laugh, and cry, and argue. I miss humbling your stupid ego. I miss being able to call you at any time, knowing you’d pick up when I needed you.”
His heart aches so much he wants to reach into his chest and hold it.
“The thing is,” you continue, “you would’ve been the first person I would’ve run to to tell them that I lost my best friend.” There were tears shining in your eyes. “But what could I do when you were the one that I had lost? Who could I have turned to then?”
He lets out a shaky breath, and in a swift motion, his arm wraps around your waist and he pulls you to him in an embrace.
You’re stiff in his hold, mechanical and rigid, so contrary to the soft tears you leave behind on the fabric of his sleeve, but slowly and surely, you warm and thaw. Your hands slide up past his shoulders, linking behind his neck. And his head drops to the curve of your neck, swaying you with him slowly as if it were a first dance.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, “for hurting you.”
You breathe out slowly. “Just let me go, Satoru. Let me be free. Let me be free of you.”
He feels the air knock out of his lungs, and the two of you slowly pull your heads away from the embrace to look at one another, although your hands still find a place on his shoulders, and he still holds you close to him by a delicate hold of your waist.
He wonders if in another life, you two were happy. He wonders if he could ever take back all the decisions he made, and start all over again. On that day the two of you met on that staircase in the west wing of the literature building, he would make a different choice. If he could, he would live in this lifetime of hell over and over again if it meant that in some other one, there exists a world where he never hurts you.
“It’s time for me to go,” you whisper, eyes darting across the features of his face, studying them but with a familiarity that only you know, because you held his entire life in your palm. Your gaze meets his again, faces just inches apart, and the sweet curl of your eyelashes makes him weak in the knees. “It’s time.”
He nods slowly, his own eyes studying your face as well, except it looks foreign to him now.
It’s all been said and done. There was nothing he could do to right the wrongs, or undo all the pain. He was to be a father now, and his duties were now towards his wife and unborn child. And no longer to the woman he holds in his arms, one he’s sure he will never stop loving for as long as he lives.
It’s a sweet moment, the two of you gazing at one another. You look so pretty from this angle, looking up at him with the smallest tilt to your head and round searching eyes. His head subconsciously dips down towards yours in the second that he glances at your lips, but he stops himself. And when you make no move to create distance, he finds himself closing it again, until his lips brush against yours ever so softly. And then he captures them in a kiss, firm and unmistaken, finding solace in the way your lips move against his too, unsure yet passionately at the same time. Your fingers ever so slightly dig into his shoulders while his thumbs soothe at the skin of your waist, the two of you savoring the last moments of a kiss that’ll be the sweetest one you’ll ever know.
You pull away first, a small puff of air leaving your lips as you glance downwards. He rests his forehead against yours, never once looking away from your face. And you both breathe slowly, the soul of the chaste kiss entirely vanishing into the air along with all the hope that the two of you had left to make anything of the way you feel about one another. It was a kiss that almost disqualified any level of sin or guilt or wrong, because it was like one you two owed each other, after years of familiarity and longing. It was the goodbye that the two of you deserved.
His hands slowly let go of your waist, and he takes a step back away from you, softly clearing his throat. The distance feels like a galaxy away, and he briefly runs his thumb along his bottom lip, because the ghostly feeling of your lips on his still remains.
“Shall we head back?” you ask him, prim and proper in posture and eyes widened in a formal gaze.
His lips are parted, and he finds that he’s panting slightly. And then he slowly nods his head. “Yes.”
.
.
.
[the end]
a/n. i am sooooo freaking obsessed w "one day" by david nicholls and really wanted to write something inspired by it!! the book literally ripped my heart out and stomped on it like there were so many scenes where i just longingly stared out the window because of how shattering it was but dear god i really enjoyed it, and the show was also so dfkjhsfkhs i had sm feels watching it. so yea this was fun to write!! i hope you enjoyedd n thanks so much for reading :)
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#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo x reader#gojo x reader angst#gojo satoru angst#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x reader angst#angst#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen angst#jjk angst#gojo satoru x reader oneshot angst#oneshot#gojo satoru x reader oneshot#gojo satoru smut#gojo x reader smut#gojo angst#friends to lovers#friends to strangers#lovers to strangers#romance#pining#sad ending#tension#longing#unrequited feelings#gojo oneshot angst#gojo satoru oneshot#gojo satoru x you
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promiscuous
in which spencer reid doesn't like that flirty!reader is going on a date. he makes that known. (bandages universe)
flangst, 18+ for discussions of sex warnings/tags: gn!reader I think, mentions of going to a bar/going for drinks, very suppressed mutual pining, jealousy from Spencer, reader implied to engage in casual sex, reader calls themself a slut somewhat disparagingly but like as a joke, it all gets resolved, he is very sweet, he rambles when he's nervous a/n: oh God I love them so much they are like so in love and they literally have no idea at all because they're so dumb... but WE can tell.. turning point for them
“Penelope wanted me to confirm that you guys are coming to drinks with us tonight?”
It’s something of a standing tradition for the BAU on the last Friday of every month, and usually you’d agree, but tonight, you have other plans.
“Raincheck for me,” you say, sliding some files into your bag which you do not plan on reviewing. “I have a thing.”
“What thing do you have on a Friday night?” Morgan asks skeptically. You don’t bother looking at him as you hide a smile.
“A date, Morgan. You jealous?”
“You’re going on a date?”
You’d nearly forgotten Spencer was in the room until he spoke—he’s been in one of those quiet moods of his where he sort of floats around everyone else and makes himself insubstantial. As you cast him a sidelong glance, trying to figure out his tone of voice, you see he’s frowning. Nearly grimacing. His brows are drawn so tight you’re worried he’ll give himself a headache.
“Uh, yeah. I am.” Suddenly, your parade feels a little rained on.
“With who?”
You pause, looking back down at your desk with a new frown of your own and shaking your head as if you could clear it that way. “Just… some guy from OT.”
“Dalton?”
Ding ding ding. Somehow he got it right on the first guess, and for some reason, you wish he hadn’t. You don’t want Spencer knowing who you’re going on a date with. It feels wrong.
“Does it matter?” You evade, shoving your things with a little more force into your bag.
“Well Dalton is an idiot, so I guess I’m just trying to figure out why you’d go out with him.”
“And if it’s not Dalton?”
“Then I’d tell you all the guys in OT are idiots and you shouldn’t waste your time on any of them.”
“Alright—” Morgan passes between your desks, placing a friendly hand on your back as he does. “I’m gonna let you two hash this out by yourselves.” He gives you a look, eyebrows raised, unsmiling, that means, go easy on the kid. It makes you feel terribly guilty. And more than a little defensive.
“Night,” you call halfheartedly. He only waves as the glass doors swing shut behind him, leaving you and boy genius alone in the bull pen.
Silence falls, cloistering you as you finish packing up together. It seems to magnify the buzz of the overheads. You notice him intentionally lingering, and you sling your bag over your shoulder with a sigh.
“Okay,” you say, turning to face him with your whole body. He seems uncomfortable with that, but you’re not letting this go. “What is this? Why are you mad at me?”
“I’m not mad at you,” he mumbles, refusing to meet your eyes. “I just think—”
“Yeah. You’ve made your thoughts abundantly clear. I don’t know why you’re judging me for going on a date.”
“I’m not judging you! I just think you deserve better than a guy who looks like he… snorts protein powder for every meal and has less capacity for intelligent conversation than a mealworm.”
“Okay. Do you have someone in mind?”
The words come out a little sharper than you’d meant for them to. A little louder. Spencer looks like a scolded puppy as he swallows.
“Not specifically. Just—someone more like you.”
He just doesn’t get it. You fold your jacket over your arm.
“Yeah, well, until someone more like me comes along and asks me out, Dalton is the best I’ve got. I know he’s not my soulmate, Reid. But he asked me to drinks, and I said yes.”
The room is mostly dark. Only a few fluorescents remain on to cast Spencer in an almost clinical glow against a dark grey background. You’ve been here before. It feels like an interrogation. An environment where you’re practically begging for the truth without saying please, but there’s only room for measured dishonesty.
Spencer speaks under his breath, fiddling with the strap of his own bag. “He’s not good enough for you.”
“What do you want me to do?” It’s an exasperated, confrontational sigh. Your arms raise and fall heavily back to your sides. Another long grey hallway of silence that leads nowhere. When it becomes clear he doesn’t have the answer, or he’s not comfortable sharing, you straighten. “I’ll see you Monday, Reid.”
Your spirits are completely dampened as you trudge to the elevators. What once seemed like an exciting opportunity now only serves as a depressing reminder that you’re wasting your time with a man who isn’t what you want. Maybe you should just call the whole thing off.
“Wait,” Spencer calls, half-jogging to catch the open elevator. His bag bobs with every step, pens and things jingling around inside. It’s endearing, even though you’re upset with him. Your arms remain stubbornly crossed, but he makes it anyway. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your mood.”
You laugh dryly. “Yeah, well…”
“It’s just that…” he sniffs and looks down, hair falling in front of his face. He really is sweet, even when he’s kind of a dick. He’s full of so much sincerity he doesn’t know what to do with it all. “I know how you are—you’re special, and funny, and intelligent, and, and Dalton—all those qualities are wasted on him. He looks at you and he just sees a pretty face. It may sound trite, but… he doesn’t deserve you.”
You sigh again, heart squeezing. The glowing light on the panel of floor numbers flickers. “I know your heart is in the right place, alright? But it’s not about who deserves me or who doesn’t. I’m not a prize. I’m a person, and people like to feel wanted. Sometimes, it’s just—it’s about who’s there, and who likes me enough to say it to my face. Sometimes that’s all I need, and I know you didn’t mean it like this, but when you say he doesn’t deserve me, it really seems like you’re not considering what I might want at all. Maybe Dalton is what I want.”
God—this elevator ride is like, comedically long.
“Is he what you want?”
At least he has the bravery to ask.
You glance over at Spencer, washed out bloodless and looking like he’s prepared to flinch, like he doesn’t know if he’s ready for the answer. The doors ding and slide open, and stale air whooshes from the chrome compartment into the lobby like a held breath finally exhaled. You swallow.
“I don’t know why it matters to you.”
“Because you’re my friend and I want to see you happy,” he insists, trailing after you as you speed walk through the lobby. Every click of your heeled boots echos.
“Then shouldn’t you be supporting me?”
“I’m not going to support you in making the wrong choice.”
The conversation spills out into the bitter-cold parking lot. You turn around to face him.
“Respectfully, you have no idea what’s right or wrong for me. I don’t like whatever this is,” you say, gesturing with a finger between the two of you, as if the conflict were a tangible thing—a phone line hanging between your hearts. “I don’t know if it’s, like, jealousy, or some misplaced feeling of possessiveness, or protectiveness, or—”
“It’s not like that!” He splutters.
“Okay—so what is it like? If you want to see me happy, why don’t you support me in pursuing the things that make me happy? And if that’s meaningless sex with some guy from operational tech, so be it! You are not in a position to give your two cents on who I sleep with!”
“I wasn’t trying to—I wasn’t even thinking about—about sex! I don’t care who you sleep with!”
He’s turning increasingly pink.
“Fine. But if you weren’t thinking about sex, if you thought I was under any illusion that Dalton was going to be my fucking Prince Charming then clearly you’re not equipped to have this conversation. I know he’s an idiot. I’m not looking for my soulmate—thank you, though, for reminding me that it’s completely fucking pointless to even pretend. I love you, Spencer, but grow up. And stay out of my business.”
And with that, you’re turning on your heel and marching toward your car. Spencer calls your name—once. Twice. The wind lashes against your bare arms and stings your eyes as you fumble with your keys.
It’s just the wind.
Nothing else.
-
Maybe you’re simply not meant for love.
It’s a narcissistic thought in the sense that everyone has it at some point in their lives—everyone falls victim to the delusion that they are so uniquely wretched, so singularly incapable of being understood by another person. It’s the universal illusion of solitude. And you’d thought yourself above it for a long time. In college, there was fling after fling. Your bed was never empty if you didn’t want it to be. In your young adult life, you have other priorities—but you rarely have to be alone.
Now, though, as you sit on a rickety metal stool deep in the bowels of the Bureau’s records room, banished to sort through files in search of one that had been mishandled during a cold case and is now supposedly relevant again, (although you’re not sure it actually exists) you’re pondering the nature of those connections you’d been so sure your life was full of. Were they all artificial? Designed by you subconsciously to manufacture a sense of complacent satisfaction? To stave off the aching, gnawing loneliness in your gut that you’re only now becoming aware of and has been eating you away in bigger and bigger bites since Friday night?
Morgan was supposed to be just as arm-deep into a box of dusty manila folders as you are now, but he talked his way out of it, and you’re sitting in an awkward twenty-minute-long-so-far silence with Spencer. Which isn’t helping anything.
The tension comes and goes like the moon pulling the tides. It’s like you can sense it wafting off of each other—you feel it in the prickle on the back of your neck and the buzz in your stomach when he’s about to say something, and you glance over, and he’s already looking at you with his lips parted, and then he doesn’t say anything after all, and the silence reinforces itself.
It gets frustrating.
Not to mention this task is equal parts mind numbing and infuriating. Maybe Hotch just hates you.
Eventually Spencer clears his throat, and you welcome the distraction.
“What year are you on?”
You give him a long look which he doesn’t reciprocate, because you want to say, really? But eventually you pick up the edge of the box you’re sifting through and double check.
“Uh… June 1979 through August 1979.”
He nods matter-of-facts. “They should be making us wear gloves.”
Your incoming tangent spidey senses are tingling. It’s not exactly an opportune time, but it’s better than silence.
Plus—you’re pretty sure this is his idea of a peace offering.
“Why’s that?” You mutter, flicking through yellowed papers.
“Wood pulp paper contains an alum-rosin mixture to minimize ink bleeding, but in the presence of moisture such as that introduced in trace amounts by our fingertips it generates a diluted sulfuric acid solution. They didn’t start adding alkaline buffers into paper until 1986, and the cellulose chains that comprise the structure of the paper inevitably shorten and break down over time, so we’re actively degrading these documents by touching them without gloves.”
“Did you say sulfuric acid?”
“I said a diluted sulfuric acid solution,” he clarifies, utterly missing the point of your question as he so often does in that disarmingly endearing way of his. “Sorry, by the way.”
You look up from a photo of bloodied bell-bottom jeans. He’s caught you by surprise.
“For what?”
“For—”
He struggles with the words—you watch his lips form a few silent ones before he gives up on the nonchalant act and sets his file on his lap. He can’t seem to tear his eyes from it, but you don’t mind.
“For everything on Friday. I… I know it was none of my business. I sometimes struggle with… keeping my thoughts to myself. Especially when it concerns someone I care about. But I wasn’t judging you, I swear. What you said about—about sex, I—” he sighs, obviously frustrated with himself, and pushes a bit of hair out of his eyes. “That’s not where my mind was at, at all. Whatever you… do, or don’t do, is none of my business. Obviously. You don’t need me to tell you that. You don’t need me to tell you anything. I just really wanted to clarify that I wasn’t shaming you or judging you for—”
“Spencer,” you say gently, cutting him off and reeling him in before he can dig any deeper.
“Yeah. Sorry.”
He glows under the canned lighting, a soft aura of white blurring the edges of him. The stale room buzzes. It’s otherwise quiet down here. Peaceful, almost.
From anyone else, you might consider it overstepping.
You wouldn’t have been willing to forgive them in the first place.
But it’s not anyone else.
“Thank you, for apologizing. I really appreciate it.”
He glances up at you, sort of hunched—always trying to make himself smaller than whatever force created him had intended. The deep brown of his eyes is melted and swirling and sweet and nervous. He’s not naturally good at these interpersonal things, but he’s always trying. He’s always pushing himself for you.
Do you ask too much?
Do you offer enough in return?
Struck by sudden insecurity, you look away. Go back to your files.
Perhaps you made a mountain out of a molehill and told him to climb it.
“I mean, I am kind of a slut. I wouldn’t blame you for thinking so,” you laugh airily. “Maybe it was a good reality check.”
A trailing silence. An air conditioner kicks on.
“What? That’s not—that’s not at all what I was trying to say.”
“Spencer, it’s fine.”
His stool squeaks as he sits up straighter.
“No, I really want you to understand. Even if I cared or thought about how many people you might sleep with—which I don’t—and even if I determined that you were… sexually promiscuous, I wouldn’t assign a moral value to that judgement. Sexual promiscuity is observed all the time in the animal kingdom, it’s biologically sound and justified and in less misogynistic cultures where bonds forged between humans weren’t socioeconomic arrangements dependent on women being viewed as commodities first and foremost, it’s completely unremarkable. But I haven’t made that determination. All I know is that… you’re you. And that’s all that’s ever going to matter to me.”
Silence falls. Your voice gets stuck in your throat.
How does he so casually show you more kindness than anyone else has ever managed to show you in your life?
Spencer takes pity on you.
“And… we’ve talked entirely too much about something that’s none of my business today.”
It’s wry and earns a chuckle from you. Even Spencer manages a chagrined smile. That same strand of hair falls loose as he looks down. Light bounces from his self-effacing smirk.
You fiddle absentmindedly with the fraying corner of a folder, and you’re about to open your mouth, about to speak into the sparkling cloud that the easy laughter and the melted tension has left in its wake, and tell him how much you appreciate him and how kind he truly is and undoubtedly whatever you say will be made more beautiful because of it—because of the affection you have for each other—and then you stop, eyes catching on the case file between your fingers. You frown.
“Wait—what’s the case number we’re looking for?”
“91 18 00063 7.”
You hold the file up, eyes alight.
“I found it.”
Spencer frowns and takes it without asking. You watch as he reviews the number in tiny black typeface along the top of the document. His brow scrunches in disbelief.
“I genuinely didn’t think we were ever going to find it,” he murmurs after leading through the photos and glances back up at you. “We had thirty years of boxes to look through and you found it in under an hour. You’re like magic.”
It’s impossible not to smile. You feel all warm and sparkly as you snatch it back from him and stand, straightening your jacket.
“Will you tell that to Hotch?”
“I… will tell anyone who will listen,” he assures you, and you’re confident he’s following as you make your way through the maze of stacks. “Are we not gonna clean up our mess?”
“There are people who will take care of that later.”
“Yeah. Like me. During my lunch break.”
“Don’t worry. You’re going to be well rewarded for your efforts today.”
“What does that mean?” He mumbles, and you can practically hear his blush.
You smile to yourself.
Still got it.
for more of these two, check out the bandages universe masterlist!
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x you#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds x you#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic
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‘SHE’S BUSY.’
tags: roommate! choso x fem!reader, choso has a tongue piercing, smut, ōral (f. receiving), choso is needy at the end, mdni.
a/n: the way this was supposed to be a short hc… w.c: 1.2k
+ likes and reblogs are appreciated 💜
roommate!choso who is madly in love with you but never wants to tell you because he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship you have.
roommate!choso who goes absolutely feral when he sees you dressing up to go on a… date?
“oh,” choso says, defeated, as you mention you’re going on a date with some guy you met through a mutual friend.
“do you think this is fine, cho’?” you ask, giving him a twirl of the dress that nicely hugs your figure. choso gulps at how stunning you look, feeling his heart beat faster.
“yeah, you look really good,” he says, continuing to eye you. oh, how he would treat you much better than that guy.
“i’ll show you the other dress- i can’t decide,” you say, returning to your room and shutting the door to switch between dresses.
roommate!choso who sits patiently in the living room, waiting to see your other outfit. should he make you show up late to the date or—
ding!
choso’s attention shifts to your phone that lit up twice. he wants to look so badly at the text but doesn’t want to invade your privacy, but—
ding!
choso looks around his surroundings as he picks up your phone to see the texts. he feels even more upset when he sees you saved the guy’s contact name as ‘j♡.’
‘ima call u’
just as choso finishes reading the message, you get an incoming call from him, and choso nearly panics. but he starts thinking about how badly he wants you to himself. he answers.
“hey beautiful, i—”
“sorry bro, she’s busy.” choso calmly says as he ends the call.
roommate!choso who knocks at your door as you’re still getting dressed to break the news to you, telling you that your date was spam calling to the point choso had to answer and said, “he canceled last minute.” you didn’t question choso because you knew you could trust him. little did you know…
roommate!choso who comforts you as you feel sad that he flaked on you. choso prepares a mini movie night, getting your favorite snacks and drinks while playing your all-time favorite movie. he makes sure you’re comfortable as he holds you tight in his arms on the couch as you lay on his chest.
“cho,” you say as he continues to rub your head, almost making you sleepy. he hums, “did you lie about him canceling?” you ask, feeling his heart beat quicken.
“yeah…” he says, not having any excuses as you giggle at his honesty.
“do you have feelings for me—”
“so fuckin’ bad,” he quickly answers as you both rise from your position, looking into his pretty brown eyes. at this point, the movie is just background noise as you two forget about it.
“do you want me?” you purr, and he nods rapidly, already getting up from the couch as he drops to his knees, parting your legs to make room for his broad figure.
you stare down at him as he pulls down your pajama shorts and panties, lifting your hips as he quickly throws them behind him. your legs are spread wide, resting on his shoulders, giving him full access.
choso moans as he sees your pretty cunt, giving your folds soft kisses. he’s about to lose his mind as his filthy dreams finally become reality.
you’re growing impatient as he’s basically teasing you, taking his time when you need him now. you tug at his silky hair, pulling it up to make him look at you. “cho—i need you,” you desperately say, and he feels himself grow hard at your neediness.
he doesn’t waste any more time as he dives into your cunt. your whole body jerks forward when you not only feel his tongue enter you but also the metal piercing on his tongue. the cold ball unexpectedly adds more stimulation, making you squirm as he snakes his arms around your thighs to keep you in place, growling into your cunt.
he brings one of his hands to your achy clit, rubbing tiny circles as you arch your back from the couch, moaning loudly from the double stimulation. it’s so fucking messy as choso loudly slurps your arousal, drool mixed with your juices coating his mouth and chin.
“f-fuck, cho, ’s too much,” you shakily say as he pulls away, arousal dripping from his chin as he looks up at you, his expression drunk on you. you unconsciously buck your hips closer to his face, wanting more as he chuckles darkly at your desperation.
he stares at your wet heat and slaps your cunt. your body jolts at the feeling as he repeatedly does it, hypnotized by the way your hole clenches at nothing. choso is starting to lose all sanity as your juices splatter all over his face and the couch. oh, how filthy this was.
“so fuckin’ good, baby, y-you’re so good,” he whines as he lays his tongue flat on your clit, your mind buzzing at the cold metallic ball. choso sucks hard on your clit, the piercing making you cry out in pleasure as it drives you to ecstasy. he slips two fingers deep into your pussy, knuckles deep as he curls them, thrusting in and out, loud squelches of your sloppy cunt echoing in your ears.
you’re already dumb from the intense simulation—the metal ball, his long fingers, his tongue. oh, how he loves your facial expression.
your legs begins to shake uncontrollably, feeling intense waves of your orgasm approaching rapidly as you shudder at the foreign feeling.
“‘m so c-close, cho,” you sob, tears streaming down your face as choso sucks harder at your clit. at this point, he doesn’t hear anything you say—he’s so caught up in his own head, only wanting to pleasure you, forgetting about his raging hard-on pulsating within his briefs.
your orgasm comes intensely as you feel yourself gushing arousal all over his face and the couch. your legs shake rapidly as you continuously spray his face. your vision is blurred as tears flood your eyes, crying out as your climax takes over you.
choso, on the other hand, kneels there, face covered in your cum, everything messy and lewd as his face and your cunt glisten in your arousal. fuckkkk, he thinks as he loses his mind.
“f-fuck, you’re a squirter,” choso moans as he watches your cum dribble down, leaving a pool of your mess soaking into the couch. “mmh, my pretty boy,” you manage to say as you bring a hand to pet his damp messy hair. but choso cannot seem to take his eyes off your sloppy cunt.
after a short tug, he finally looks up at you, quickly rising and smashing his lips onto yours, twirling his tongue around yours as you wrap your legs around his body, grinding his bulge against your bare cunt. you moan into his mouth at the friction, messily making out, tasting yourself on his tongue, your arousal from his face smothering onto yours.
“mhm, i-i’m your pretty boy,” he says as he pulls away from the kiss, looking at you, his face hazy from eating you out. “c-call me your pretty boy again,” he whines, blushing at the thought of being yours.
“my pretty boy—”
you’re interrupted as you hear your phone loudly ring and vibrate beside you. you both groan at the caller id: ‘j♡.’
roommate!choso who sends ‘j♡’ a selfie of both your fucked-out expressions, followed by text,
‘i told u she was busy.’
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk smut#choso kamo#jjk choso#choso smut#choso x reader#jujutsu kaisen choso#choso kamo smut#choso x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujustsu kaisen x reader
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imgonnagetyouback
Pairing: Lando Norris x Fem!singer!reader
Warnings: Cursing
Authors note: I guess I lied about the Lando thing… this songs just so Lando I can’t explain it and I’m actually obsessed with this song rn. You probably have to at least know the premise of the song to understand the second half of this.
INSTAGRAM
yourusername
📍New York, New York
liked by maxfewtrell taylorswift and 13,998,887 others
yourusername hello, New York!
tagged: taylorswift
Load comments…
user1 my fav
user2 love her
user3 so pretty 🤩
taylorswift 🩵
yourusername 🤭💋
user4 welcome to New York, so real
user5 I miss Lando
user6 hi queen!!!
user7 new music when
user8 “I love NY not you” lmao Lando get up
user9 now why in the world did max like this
user10 and now Lando will post an Instagram story of him partying with some random girl to prove he’s having more fun than y/n is, we know how this goes
user11 you can not tell me they don’t miss each other
sabrinacarpenter pretty 🤩 🤩 🤩
yourusername no u 💋
user12 I just need a video of her English ass trying to navigate new York please and thx
maxfewtrell hey bestie!
yourusername oh my god get out of here
user13 wtf is max doing 😭😭
gracieabrams I ❤️ u
yourusername 🥰
oscarpiastri hi
yourusername hi?
———————————————
landonorris added to their story
user14
Now wtf
user15
user10 was right
user16
Alright ig
oscarpiastri
oh okay
MESSAGES
INSTAGRAM
yourusername added to their story
oscarpiastri
Still can't believe you convinced me to do that
yourusername
You'll be fine, ill get you concert tickets
can't even tell its you either
oscarpiastri
fine
they better be vip
yourusername
Dw they will be
—————-
maxfewtrell
???
yourusername
Dw its just Oscar
maxfewtrell
Jesus i cant believe you
yourusername
He started it. This is the first time I've included a guy in my posts, landos been doing it for months
maxfewtrell
you're gonna be the death of me
yourusername
💋💋💋💋
maxfewtrell
take care of yourself though y/n
yourusername
I am
Thx tho max 🫶
maxfewtrell
Yeah yeah 🙄
——————————————
yourusername
📍Paris, France
liked by charles_leclerc oscarpiastri and 21,008,771 others
yourusername I can tell when somebody still wants me
load comments…
user17 oh yay they're gonna sneak diss in their Insta captions again
user18 I miss dad ☹️
user19 she's so pretty omg
maxfewtrell oh wonderful we’re doing this now
yourusername leave
user20 lando its your turn
user21 IM IN LOVE WITH HER
charles_leclerc I'm amused
yourusername congrats
user22 they're so messy I love them
oscarpiastri great he's about to drag me into doing something stupid because of this
yourusername that is not my problem
user23 I sense new music coming along
user24 I do genuinely think he still wants her lowk
user25 they want eachother, don't lie. Its defo mutual
user26 😍😍😍
taylorswift 🤩
yourusername 🥰
jackantonoff 🤪
liker by yourusername
user27 why is jack here???? New music???
————————————————
landonorris
liked by maxfewtrell martingarrix and 12,008,998 others
landonorris I have what I want
load comments…
user28 oh… yay
user29 🤩🤩🤩
user30 say what you want about their shitty personalities but they sure do know how to make an aesthetic post
user31 the shade is immense
maxfewtrell im nauseous
landonorris 👍
user32 they’re so into each other it’s actually insane
user33 OH MY GOD WE GET IT YOU MISS EACHOTHER
user34 🤩🤩🤩
user35 he’s so fine
user35 LANDO-
user36 now what’s y/n gonna do
user37 how long until they both apologize and get back together… these are not the posts of people who have healthily moved on from their previous relationship
user38 fine as hell lowk
oscarpiastri this is 100% the most healthy way to handle this
landonorris I didn’t ask
user39 all of their friends are so annoyed and it’s so funny
———————————————
yourusername added to their story
maxfewtrell
Is this a song where you admit you’re still in love with Lando so you both can finally get over your emotional immaturity???
yourusername
kinda
maxfewtrell
Oh fr?
I thought you’d just be mean to him for the whole song
yourusername
Uhhh-
——————————————
yourusername
liked by sabrinacarpenter taylorswift and 21,000,111 others
yourusername imgonnagetyouback out now 🩶
Load comments…
user40 IM GONNA GET YOU BACK
user41 oh my god it’s so good
user42 LANDO GET UP
user43 THE CAPTION FROM PARIS WAS A SONG LYRICCCCC
user44 oh so she’s still in love with him
user45 “you were never not mine” 💀
user46 I CAN FEEL IT COMING HUMMIN IN THE WAY YOU MOVE
user47 PUSH THE RESET BUTTON WERE BECOMING SOMETHING NEW
user48 SAY YOU GOT SOMEBODY ILL SAY IVE GOT SOMEONE TOO
user49 EVEN IF ITS HANDCUFFED IM LEAVING HERE WITH YOU
user50 “I’m an Aston Martin” okay lance strollll
oscarpiastri “I’ve got someone too” no you do not 💀
yourusername oh my god shut up
user51 she’s still in love with him dhmu
maxfewtrell when I asked if this was going to be emotionally healthy and not a diss I can now see why you were conflicted…. Bit of both tbh
yourusername 🫶
maxfewtrell 👎
user52 told my friends I hate you but I love you just the same 😭
user53 SO GOOD
user54 WHETHER IM GONNA BE YOUR WIFE????
——————————————
landonorris added to their story
maxfewtrell
…
what does this achieve
landonorris
What do you want
maxfewtrell
Mate come on
you’re still obviously in love with her
and the song litteraly shows she’s still in love with you
all you’ve done is post a thirst trap of yourself with song lyrics on top
landonorris
It’s not a thirst trap
maxfewtrell
I hate both of you
text her mate
you’re happier together
And I’m tired of both of you annoying the shit out of me
landonorris
Fine
Maybe I will
maxfewtrell
Thank god
It’d be the first time you listened to me
—————————————
MESSAGES
INSTAGRAM
yourusername added to their story
maxfewtrell
That better be Lando or so help me god
yourusername
Calm your tits
It is
maxfewtrell
YEAHHHH
Finally
I can stop playing matchmaker
yourusername
😒😒😒😒
————————————————
oscarpiastri
Oh so this means you’ll both stop dragging me into your dumb shit
yourusername
🖕🖕🖕🖕
oscarpiastri
🫶
———————————————
TWITTER
INSTAGRAM
landonorris
liked by yourusername maxfewtrell and 13,001,881 others
landonorris told my friends I hate you but I love you just the same
load comments…
user55 YEAHHHHHHH
user56 Y/N LIKED WE’RE SO BACK
user57 my favs
user58 my parents are back together 😭
user59 unlike your real ones
user58 woah???
user59 🤷♀️ it’s the truth
user60 I missed them so much 😭😭😭
user61 admitted you love your ex-gf on main, this is self-improvement
yourusername pick your poison, babe
landonorris I’m poison either way
user62 I appreciate the repeating lyrics at each other because it is cute but those are not the kindest lyrics to be repeating 😭
user63 who knew that shit-talking your ex in a song could get him to re-admit his love for you
maxfewtrell took you long enough
landonorris legitimately who asked you
maxfewtrell I’m the reason this even happened in the first place. Watch your tone.
landonorris thanks i guess
maxfewtrell “I guess” @/yourusername this is how happy he is to have you back
yourusername landoooo
landonorris sorry. Thank you so much max, I’m so grateful you brought the loml back to me.
maxfewtrell you’re welcome ☺️
—————————————
yourusername
liked by landonorris maxfewtrell and 20,887,991 others
yourusername got you back
load comments…
user64 she got him back 🥹
user65 YEAHHHHH LFG
user66 awwwww
user67 I love them so much
user68 sleeping on the highway tonight 🫶
oscarpiastri 🥳🥳🥳
liked by yourusername
user69 these pictures are so cute oh my god 😭
user70 IM GONNA GET YOU BACK
landonorris you decided wether you’re gonna be my wife or smash up my bike yet?
yourusername still not sure… maybe both 🤔
user71 BOTH?????
user72 YEAH YEAH THATS FUNNY AND ALL BUT SHE JUST SAID SHE’D MARRY HIM
maxfewtrell congratulations nerds
yourusername thanks mate
user73 I’m in love with both of them
user74 they’re both so much happier together I really hope they stick this time
user75 and when she releases a love album then what
landonorris ily 🫶
yourusername ily2 🫶
user76 Jesus Christ they’re such teenagers 😭 USE FULL WORDS 😭😭����
user77 no I get them. I wouldn’t post full love confessions in an Instagram comment section either lmao
user78 they got each other back 🫶
———————————————
Taglist: @casperlikej @evie-119
#lando norris x female reader#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#lando x reader#lando imagine#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#scheduled#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 smau
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READY FOR IT
pairing: max verstappen x singer reader
summary: the one where she's adjusted to a new life, she begins to let out her feelings and she meets someone new
warning: none i think this is a pretty cute chapter, maybe alchohol
a/n: another post omg?????
face claim: sabrina carpenter
f1 masterlist
main masterilst
series masterlist
f1gossip has posted
liked by 120, 384 others
f1gossip Rumour has it that World Champion Max Verstappen and girlfriend Kelly Piquet have called it quits. The pair was last seen in Febuary earlier this year but an inside source reports they've been broken up since December. Thoughts?
user1 FINALLY
user2 not sure if this is really shocking to anyone
user3 NONONO THEY CANT BE
-> user4 get a life
--------------------
y/nsprivate has posted
liked by keekslikestospamm, thatoneartgirlalex and 23 others
y/nsprivate nothing just hot girl shit
tagged: livbereallydumb, itssabrinaaa
keekslikestospammmm livbereallydumb looking like a queen tbh
-> livbereallydumb don't you know it
thatoneartgirlalex whos the girl in the first slide?
-> livbereallydumb think its y/nsprivate not sure tho
-> y/nsprivate STAWP IT
leosfather i better be seeing you tomorrow
-> y/nsprivate TRUST QUEEN I'LL BE THERE
thatonefrenchguy FINALLY ON THE PRIVATE
-> y/nsprivate you better be grateful and also ill remove you if you get too annoying
-> thatonefrenchguy MEANNNN
---------------------------------
"Y/n. Hurry up please." Y/n rolled her eyes slightly at the persistence of her best friend who had literally just finished getting ready.
"I'm coming," Y/n replied, rolling her eyes with a grin. Tonight was Charles' 27th birthday, and they were all headed out to celebrate. When Y/n finally stepped out, Alex gave a low whistle.
"Wow, Y/n, you look amazing," she said, looking her up and down.
"Yeah, yeah," Y/n replied with a playful smile. "Where's the birthday boy? He can't be running late on his own night."
"Later than you are, which is ironic since he calls me the diva," Alex laughed, wrapping her arms around Y/n.
When Charles finally finished getting ready to go, the trio made their way to the car and headed to the small club Charles had booked for the night. As they drove, Y/n felt a quiet sense of peace settle over her, as if everything in her life might just be okay from here on out.
Arriving at the club, Y/n was greeted by a wave of familiar faces, triggering a bittersweet sense of nostalgia. Many of the people here were mutual friends she hadn’t seen since the breakup with Lando. They hadn’t necessarily taken sides, but after the split, they had drifted out of her life. She politely greeted a few, already dreading the day ahead.
As she made her way to get a drink Y/n bumped into someone, "Oh sorry I- Carlos." She said, suddenly feeling a very strong sense of uncomfort around herself. Whilst her and Carlos were very close during her relationship with Lando, Carlos picked his side and seemed to hate Y/n for it.
"Y/n," he replied sharply, his accent thick with a drunken edge. "How have you been?"
"Fine, thanks," she answered, keeping her tone polite. Before he could continue Charles appeared out of nowhere, throwing an arm around both of them. Whether he knew it or not, he relived the tension and Y/n was grateful for the interruption.
At the sight of his drunk friend, a huge smile spread across Carlos' face, and the two fell into more animated conversation. Y/n found her thoughts drifting. After saying she needed some air, Y/n slipped away and made her way to the balcony, leaning against the railing.
She was so lost in thought that she didn’t notice the soft click of the door opening.
"Oh, sorry... I didn’t realize anyone was out here," an awkward voice said, breaking the quiet. Y/n turned, a bit startled, and found herself face to face with someone she vaguely recognized but had barely spoken to, Max.
God, he’s gorgeous. It was the first thought that popped into her mind. His green eyes caught the light with a slight glitter, and a small, warm smile curved his lips. If looks could kill, she thought, feeling her cheeks warm. He was effortlessly handsome, too handsome, in fact.
As they shared a brief, almost charged silence, Y/n couldn’t help but wonder if he had a girlfriend, or how many hearts he’d broken along the way. Max cleared his throat, shifting his weight a little.
"Y/n," he greeted, straightening his back. She returned his smile, small but genuine. "You look great."
A small smile spread across her face, "Um thanks, you too."
"How’s Gizmo?" Max asked with a soft smile, moving to stand closer to her. Suddenly, any lingering awkwardness between them melted away.
"Um hes good." Y/n said, perking up at the mention of her cat. Something about that simple question made Y/n feel more comforted in his presence. Most people would ask how was she doing or ask about her music. But Max seemed more interested in the little things, who she was.
They slipped into an easy rhythm of conversation, eventually settling down on the balcony with their backs against the wall, the quiet hum of the party inside fading into background noise.
"So," Max began, a faint curiosity in his eyes, "are you seeing anyone at the moment?" His tone was casual, but there was something unguarded about the question that made her laugh.
"After everything that’s happened? Do you think anyone would want to date me?" she replied with a playful smile, although her tone held something else.
Max’s gaze softened. "Why wouldn’t they? You’re stunning, and you’ve got the personality to match."
"Haven't you heard what they’ve been calling me?" She tilted her head, a hint of disbelief in her voice.
"I don’t make a habit of listening to the media," he said, shrugging. "I’d rather form my own perspective." His words were calm, but there was something unwavering in the way he looked at her, something that made her heart stumble in her chest.
She glanced away, her cheeks warming. "I don’t know how true that is," she mumbled, a bit embarrassed.
Max leaned a little closer, his gaze never leaving her face. "Oh, come on. I bet you’ve stolen a lot of hearts."
The way he was looking at her, intensely, with a hint of admiration, made her feel as if she needed to break eye contact, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to.
Just as she was about to respond, the door opened, and Kika’s voice floated over. "Y/n! Come on, come dance!"
Y/n smiled, nodding in acknowledgment. "Just a minute," she called back, then turned to Max. "I guess I’ll see you around?"
Max’s eyes sparkled, and he gave her a small, reassuring smile. "Trust me, you will."
A few shots later Y/n found herself looking for a place to sit and gather herself for a minute. As she turned around the room she noticed him sitting on a barstool and made her way over to him.
"Not enjoying yourself?" She asked him and he instantly perked up at her voice. Something that he internally scolded him self for, don't make yourself seem desperate Max.
"No, I am," he replied, smiling, "just not a heavy drinker." He turned on the stool to face her fully, his posture relaxing as he settled into their conversation.
Suddenly, a familiar song came blaring through the speakers, "I love this song!" Y/n exclaimed, her eyes bright with excitement. Before she could say anything else, Max held out a hand, a playful smile on his lips.
"May I have this dance?" he asked, the formality in his tone nearly too gentlemanly for the club setting.
She gave him a soft smile and slid her hand into his. "Lead the way."
They wove through the crowd and onto the dance floor, where the music enveloped them. As they moved together, Max leaned down, his breath warm against her ear. "You know, you never answered my question. Do you have a boyfriend?"
"No."
___________________
y/nsprivate has posted
liked by keekslikestospamm, thatoneartgirlalex and 23 others
y/nsprivate CHA CHAS BIRTHDAY I LOVE YOU BITCHHHHH
tagged: leosfather
leosfather the sister i never had
-> y/nsprivate pascale loves me more tho so...
-> leosfather here i thought you were being nice
-> y/nsprivate NEVERRR
thatoneartgirlalex meeting your wife through your boyfriend>>>
-> y/nsprivate exactly how it happened
keekslikestospammm you and max were looking VERY comfortable last night 👀
-> thatoneartgirlalex WHATTT
-> leosfather SPILL THE DEETS NOW
-> y/thatoneartgirlalex we're coming over now
-> leosfather im bringing champagne
---------------------
thatoneartgirlalex has posted
liked by y/nsprivate, leosfather and 43 others
thatoneartgirlalex you best believe the tea was spilt
tagged: y/nsprivate
y/nsprivate 👀👀
-> thatoneartgirlalex 🤐🤐
leosfather charles erasure 💔
-> y/nsprivate as it should be tbh
jimmyandsassysdad can i know the tea?
-> y/nsprivate what are you doing here?
-------------------------
charles to max
y/n and max
Unknown has been changed to Max
________________
i think this is pretty long but idk
any ways heres another part for you guys ;)
_________________
@lyannesworld
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@scorpiomindfuck
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#reputation#reputation series#f1#f1 masterlist#formula1#f1 series#f1 fluff#max verstappen fic#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen angst#f1 angst#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#formula 1#max verstappen
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◈ love of my life // yoon jeonghan
jeonghan x gn!reader, 2k+ words
tags: technically requested by lots of people bc everyone wants jeonghan fluff, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, crack, mutual pining, almost-confessions
warnings: light swearing
summary: in which your relationship with jeonghan isn't exactly platonic and isn't exactly romantic... but rather, it's a secret third thing.
It has to be at least two in the morning when Jeonghan's ringtone blares throughout his bedroom, and he rolls over with a groan, grappling blindly at his nightstand before finding his phone and pressing it against his cheek.
“Who is this and what do you want?”
“Jeonghan, let's go on a date.”
He recognises your voice in an instant, even in his half-asleep state, and he huffs a laugh, flopping back against the pillows and rubbing his eyes.
“Gee, at least ask me when it's not ass o'clock in the morning, won't you?”
“No, no, this only works if you get up right now,” you say. “Come on, Jeonghan, just go on a date with me. Right at this very moment.”
Jeonghan rubs his eyes, before taking his phone away from his cheek and peering at the screen so he can read the time. “See, you’re not presenting a very good argument,” he says, once he’s put the phone against his ear again. It’s almost three in the morning. What are you thinking? “I don’t wanna date you that much.”
You make a sad sound on the other end of the phone. “What will it take to get you out of the house?”
“Wire me an obscene amount of money right now and I’ll think about it.”
There’s a pause.
“No. Best I can offer is a pretty please.”
Jeonghan can’t help smiling at your dry tone, and he rubs his eyes once again with a yawn. “Fine. I guess I can’t expect anything better from you, anyway.” He can almost see you biting your lip in annoyance, wanting to quip something witty back at him but also wanting to keep quiet so he’ll actually come.
“You know me so well.”
“Yes I do,” Jeonghan teases, and groggily hauls himself out of bed. “I’ll be ready in ten. Where do you want me to go?”
“Don’t worry, princess, I’ll pick you up,” you say, suddenly sounding excited. “Just wait for me and I’ll come over to take you out.”
Jeonghan raises an eyebrow. “Is that a threat?”
You laugh, bright and happy, like it’s not two in the morning and you’ve asked your best friend to go on a date with you. Jeonghan can’t help but smile again, even as he grapples blindly through his dark room to find some clothes.
“Don’t worry. It’s a promise.”
───────────── 🌘
Jeonghan is, admittedly, more than a little confused when you just take him to the nearest playground.
Sure, maybe this entire thing is weird—you calling him up during ridiculous hours of the morning to “go on a date” is definitely not something you’ve done before—but that’s just the kind of friendship he and you have.
It’s like how, last year, he spent an entire month calling you increasingly ridiculous pet names, ranging from “beloved” to “honey butter snuggles bunny bear”, and purposefully took you out to public cafes and restaurants to test them out for everyone to see and hear, preventing you from punching him as hard as he probably deserved.
So this is, like, nothing new. Just a funny and silly thing the two of you do, because you've known each other for the whole of your lives, and when it comes to the way your relationship works, the lines separating “platonic” and “romantic” have always been curiously nonexistent.
It doesn’t mean anything. It’s never meant to mean anything.
But sometimes, sometimes, it feels like it should.
“I think I’m going to end up alone forever,” you say abruptly, and Jeonghan looks over at you in surprise. You’re sitting on the swings next to him, dragging yourself back and forth as you look up at the sky. There’s nothing to see up there, with the clouds obscuring any moonlight, so it's obvious that you're just looking away so he can't see your face.
It's so quiet; Jeonghan didn't realise that the world could be this quiet at 2 in the morning, and it makes your words echo extra loud into the abyss, before they're swallowed by the darkness.
Jeonghan shrugs. “Maybe you will.”
Instantly, you're leaning over to swat him on the arm, and he laughs.
“Asshole,” you say, but there's no venom in your voice, even as you level him with a glare. “You're really no help. I'm trying to unload all my deepest fears for you, here, practically begging you to reassure me, and yet all you can do is be mean.”
“You said one thing,” Jeonghan points out. “I don't think that counts as unloading all your deepest fears.”
“Yeah, well, maybe it's my only deepest fear.”
“Why are you unloading your deepest fear on me?” Jeonghan asks, kicking his legs out in front of him. “We're on a date. Our first date, mind you, so this hardly seems appropriate.”
“Asshole,” you say again, but like before, the word has no bite. You glance over at him, before realising that he's looking at you, and then quickly raise your gaze to the sky. “I'm being serious about this, you know.”
Jeonghan says nothing for a long moment. Watches the way the pale light from a nearby lamppost gives you an unearthly, almost otherworldly glow.
“I'm being serious too,” he decides to say, looking up at the cloudy sky with you. “You shouldn't be saying that stuff on a first date. Kinda makes it sound like you don't think things will work out between us, you know?”
You huff a confused laugh, looking over at him again. “Jeonghan, wha—?”
“And maybe you will end up alone,” he carries on, thoughtfully, as if he's talking to himself, forgetting that you're sitting there too. “But maybe you won't. I think you probably won't. And even if you do, it's fine, because I'll still be with you.”
It's a painfully vulnerable thing to say, made doubly so by the quietness of the night. Like a love confession, almost. Except it's not, because he's not in love with you.
He isn't.
“That's really sweet,” you say, almost begrudgingly, as if it pains you to admit that Jeonghan actually said something nice, and he laughs. “Though wrong. If you’re with me, then I'm not alone, am I?”
“Oh, I see. When you said alone, you meant in general. I thought you meant, like, romantically.”
“Well, maybe. But maybe I also meant overall,” you shrug. “I didn't think you'd want to spend the rest of your life with me.”
Jeonghan swallows, tilts back on the swings, head still raised to look at the sky. “I want to spend every life with you.”
You look away from the sky at his words, turning to face him in surprise. The echoes of what he’d just said were already fading away, muffled and pressed into the velvet dark of the night, but the surprisingly soft air that followed in its wake still remained.
Now, he's the one avoiding your gaze, keeping his eyes firmly locked on the shapeless, misty blur of clouds above him so he doesn’t have to look at you. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see you tilt your head, and smile.
“Oh, look at you, you sap,” you say, bright and teasing. “Face it, you like being with me. Oh! I bet you're in love with me, seeing as how you agreed to date me and everything! Isn't that right, Jeonghan? You love me.”
Jeonghan pulls a face, and you burst into laughter, so ridiculously loud and happy even though it's two in the morning and the whole playground is silent, the sound of your happiness ringing against the cool air of the night. He can't help but look at you then, exasperated and fond, shaking his head as you grip the swing chains and sway back and forth, still giggling to yourself.
He sniffs, feigning annoyance as he leans to the side, making a dramatic show of pulling his swing away from you.
“This isn't a real date. I could never date you.” He scrunches his face in faux disgust for good measure, and you laugh again, rolling your eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. And yet you still came out when I called, didn't you?” you tease, smiling widely, and Jeonghan has to admit that you're right. He's here because you asked him to be here. He’s here for you.
Hm. This was getting weirdly soul-baringly truthful for what he’d thought would be a silly little hangout in the middle of the night.
“Next time you call me at 2am, I’m blocking you forever,” he says dryly, giving you an exaggerated look of disdain just so he can revel in the laugh that it pulls out of you.
“No you won’t,” you say cheerily. “Because you looove me.”
“Um, lies.”
“No lies. You literally love me so much.”
“I don’t.”
“You do.”
“No, I don’t.”
“You do. You do, you do, you do, you’re actually genuinely in love with me and there’s nothing you can do to deny it, because it’s so obvious that I’m literally the love of your l—”
Jeonghan makes a clicking sound with his tongue and leans over to shove your arm, causing you to swing to the side as you cackle with delight at his reaction. He glares at you, again, sighing with exasperation as you continue to laugh.
“Yes, yes, I love you, just as much as you love me. Now if we’re not actually doing anything of importance, then can I go home?”
“What?” you say indignantly. “Of course not! If I can’t sleep, then that means you’re not allowed to sleep either.”
“I knew it. You called me out here because you couldn’t fall asleep.”
“Duh. Now come and push my swing, will you?”
Jeonghan rolls his eyes and stands up from his swing, groaning and holding his knees like he’s some kind of grumpy grandpa. You laugh, mocking him for his bad joints as he walks around to stand behind you, and he snarks back something ridiculously funny and rippling with light, twisting through the cool air.
And then his hand presses against the small of your back, soft and yet sure, and suddenly all you can focus on is that gentle, feathery point of contact that connects you to him.
Your laughter subsides as he begins to gently push your swing, and you move up, and down, and up, and down, the fleeting warmth of his hand an intermittent pressure against your back. He doesn’t say a word. Everything is quiet, in your head. Like his touch alone could silence any worries that still floated around in your brain.
It’s one of the things you adore most about Jeonghan. He makes you feel safe.
“For the record, by the way,” you say, voice quiet, “I really do love you.”
There’s no noise but the metallic creak of the swing, sounding weirdly small in the yawning abyss of the dark. Jeonghan’s hand is still steady as he pushes you, again and again.
“As a friend?” he asks, eventually.
You can’t see him, and maybe that’s for the best. His voice is tinged with a colour, an emotion, that you can’t quite name, warm and cool and fleeting and present all at once.
Yet more silence greets his words. You continue swinging, and he continues helping.
It’s hard to know what he means by that. As a friend, in a hopeful way? As a friend, in a meaningful way? Or as a friend, in a way that could maybe, maybe, signal that he thinks, or wishes, that you mean... something else.
More.
These things are difficult to tell, when it comes to Jeonghan. Who wears his heart on his sleeve and yet also hides it away where no one can see.
“Yeah,” you say, after it has been far too long since he’d asked, but it’s clear that you were both waiting for your answer anyway. The word leaves you as a sigh, threadbare and thin. “As a friend.”
Jeonghan huffs a soft laugh. Maybe because he believes you, or maybe because he doesn’t. You’re not too sure.
“Okay,” he murmurs, pale as moonlight. “In which case, I love you too.”
fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @zozojella @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @doublasting @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @jeonride @kellesvt @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @starshuas @raevyng @isabellah29 @hrts4hanniehae @mcu-incorrect @dokyeomkyeom @suraandsugar @haodore @tulsa24 @melodicrabbit
#fairyhaos.works#k-labels#svt#seventeen#jeonghan#seventeen fic#jeonghan fic#svt fic#svt jeonghan#svt x reader#jeonghan x reader#yoon jeonghan#jeonghan x you#seventeen x you#jeonghan x y/n#seventeen x y/n#seventeen x reader#seventeen jeonghan#seventeen yoon jeonghan#svt yoon jeonghan#svt fluff#seventeen fluff#jeonghan fluff#jeonghan imagines#seventeen imagines#jeonghan au#seventeen fanfic
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Written for @steddieholidaydrabbles.
Consider It Done
Prompt Day 28: Pining | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: M | CW: Brief Mention of Sex Acts, Steve Wanting His Nuggets, Bullshit | Tags: Future Fic, 1990s, Roommates, Friends With Benefits, Mutual Pining, Background Lumax, Platonic Stobin
"Dingus, are you listening?"
Steve jerks his head towards Robin. He wasn't listening, he's not even sure what they were talking about.
"Sorry, what?" Steve asks, and she's just looking at him, all-knowingly. So, her usual face.
"I said, take a picture it'll last longer," she says in his direction, and Steve jerks his head back to where he was looking.
Eddie, holding the baby, Max and Lucas happy to have the break that Eddie's so good at providing. He was great at holding her when she was brand new, and oh so little, but now? At nearly a year, Eddie's really hitting his stride. Entertaining her, making her giggle with delight, so happy to be in his lap.
It's affected Steve more than he could have imagined. Steve loves that his nuggets are having nuggets. It doesn't seem possible, but they've grown up so much. They all have.
And Eddie looks good, looks right, with that baby in his arms. It has just unleashed an unholy level of longing in Steve that he didn't know was even possible.
Thing is, Steve knows that whatever they are isn't gonna be that, and he's accepted it. He really has. It's been years. They're fuck buddies. Roommates. Friends. Definitely not boyfriends, spouses or ever going to be parents together. That's not in the cards. Eddie was upfront when they fell into this thing that he wasn't ever gonna be any of those things.
Down for a good time, but not a long time.
And Steve understood. At least he thought he did, but now he's looking at Eddie holding a baby, the Eddie that he loves and shouldn't, and his heart yearns for more.
It's been years, half-assedly together, and Steve could only guard his heart for so long.
"You're pining pretty loud," Robin hisses, and Steve tears his eyes away, focusing on her instead.
In the car on the ride home, Steve's quiet. Eddie's talking, jabbering away, and Steve loves him. Loves him more than he's ever loved anyone that isn't Robin, and as usual, he has no outlet for it. Nobody wants his love. He's a good fuck, a good friend, a good babysitter. But he's not good forever material.
"You're awfully quiet," Eddie finally says, in between monologues.
"The baby's even cuter than the last time we saw her," Steve says.
"Totally," Eddie agrees, "she's getting so fun."
"I want her. Well, not her. That's weird. One. I want one."
"Yeah, so you've said, Harrington. You wanted six last I knew," Eddie teases.
Six is never happening. Six was the dream of an overly optimistic nineteen-year-old. At twenty-nine, he just wants one. He wants to love others, to be loved back, wholly. Openly, freely, without feeling like he's too much.
"One would be good," Steve says.
"Well, I'm sure there's some woman out there itching to have a baby with you. You do have the good hair."
Steve laughs, because he's supposed to, but he doesn't want a baby with some random woman he doesn't know. He wants a baby with Eddie. He wants a life with Eddie, and Eddie isn't on board with that.
And Steve hates it. Hates that they are so far from the same page it isn't even funny.
"I want a baby with you," Steve says, and then squeezes the steering wheel. Fuck.
Eddie laughs, "Well, we don't exactly have the parts for that. But we can still practice until you find somebody better equipped."
Steve's defeated, done. "There is nobody better. I want you. You don't want me, but I want you. And yeah, it's bullshit, I know."
"Steve…" Eddie trails off.
"Just forget it."
Eddie's quiet for the rest of the ride, and Steve wonders if he's trying to decide which of them will have to move out of the apartment, just like Steve is doing. He could stay with Robin for a while, her girlfriend would welcome him on a short-term basis, he's sure.
Steve's facedown on his bed, when the door swings open.
"I can't forget it," Eddie announces loudly.
"Can't forget what?" Steve asks, voice muffled by his pillow.
"That you want me," Eddie says, and if Steve wasn't already facedown on the bed, he'd want to hide from the shame of it all.
"Sorry," Steve mumbles, but he's only sorry that he's made it weird.
"Don't be sorry, be honest," Eddie says, and Steve doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. Steve's been honest, that's why they're in the uncomfortable situation in the first place.
He feels Eddie's knee hit the bed, and it shakes as Eddie crawls across the mattress, then he's on Steve's back. Chest to his back, his arms snaking all along Steve's exposed skin, to cover Steve's arms all the way to his hands.
Eddie's chin is slotted against his neck, touching him in all the places he can reach, and Steve hates – and loves – how much this grounds him.
"You're in love with me?" Eddie asks. "You don't just love me as your eccentric roommate that enthusiastically sucks your cock?"
Steve laughs, the weight of Eddie pinning him to the bed.
"Well, I love that, too."
"Why didn't you say something sooner?" Eddie asks.
"You told me what this wasn't," Steve says.
Eddie lets out an indigent sound, "That was a dirty lie to protect myself, Harrington! You're supposed to know me better than that!"
He squeezes the tops of Steve's hands with his own, "I've loved you the whole time, you dickhead."
Steve wants to believe it, wants to throw everything he has into it.
He will. There's no other option.
"Well, I've loved you the whole time, too, you dickhead," Steve mimics.
Eddie laughs in his ear, pressing his lips to the side of Steve's face, "We can have a baby. We can get married. Anything you want, trust me, I want it more."
And Steve smiles into the pillow, "Okay. Let's do that."
"Consider it done, Harrington."
If you want to write your own, or go see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddieholidaydrabbles and follow along with the fun!
Notes: Special thanks to @griefabyss69 for throwing out this pining plot idea (Steve pining for a family after seeing Eddie with Lumax's baby) after I was complaining yesterday that my first fic for this prompt outgrew the 1000 word limit, and now I needed to start over last minute. That doesn't sound like me at all, does it? 🤣 (It'll work out okay, since it will also works for one of my bingo prompts, so I'll continue it for that!)
#steddieholidaydrabbles#prompt: pining#steddie#steddie ficlet#eddie munson#steve harrington#steve x eddie#steddie fan fic#platonic stobin#steddie fic#stranger things#thisapplepielife: short fic#thisapplepielife: steddieholidaydrabbles
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TWST Olympics AU #1
Part 1: Heartshackle trio designs!
Reblogs are hella appreciated!! I'm likely shadowbanned 😭
As the Olympic Games are officially starting in a week, I decided to finally sketch some of the designs for my Twisted Wonderland Olympics AU! Next up are Riddle, Trey and Cater.
Everything about the AU below!
AU rules
Feel free to add your own OCs to this AU!
Fan content is obviously allowed! Just tag me in it, please.
AU summary
This is a magicless AU where all of the TWST characters are Olympic athletes in the real world. Some win medals, some barely qualify — but all of them live in the Olympic village. The students are aged up here (usually early to late twenties) while the faculty members have no set age and work as sports reporters.
♤ Character introductions ♤
ACE TRAPPOLA — A 21-year-old Italian prodigy basketball player. He's considered to be his team's ace (pun intended) and is great at tricking his opponents, making tons of baskets for the Italian team, and efficiently assisting his teammates.
DEUCE SPADE — A 21-year-old Japanese track and field athlete competing in various smaller disciplines falling under the "track and field" term. He's extremely average at most things other than sprints, often ends up in the bottom 3, and is secretly incredibly insecure about not being the best at anything.
ALLEN ALAGONA (YUU) — A 21-year-old Japanese-Italian gold-winning figure skater competing for his current home country, Ireland, along with his best friend and sports partner Alcestris. He gave up on his original dream — becoming a musician — and is now working hard to be the best male figure skater in the world, hoping to kickstart a career as a musician later on.
♤ Relationships ♤
ACE & DEUCE — Their friendship originally started when Ace posted a picture of himself watching a sprint competition while Deuce made a grimace in the background, causing the photo to go viral and become a meme. Deuce originally DMed Ace to take the picture down and got teased for it, but this teasing slowly developed into a friendship. While they get along well, Deuce is secretly a bit jealous of Ace for pretty much being a prodigy.
ACE & ALLEN (YUU) — Ace is a fan of Allen and views him as a fellow gold medalist. Being open-minded and "eager" to make new connections, Ace simply DMed Allen one day and the two became unlikely friends. Nowadays, Ace also functions as a matchmaker, being the only person to know just how much Deuce likes Allen...
DEUCE & ALLEN (YUU) — Deuce knows Allen as the most famous figure skater in the world and is absolutely stunned by both his appearance and humbleness. The two accidentally meet at a coffee shop during the games one day, decide to have a drink together, and strike up a conversation. Deuce is fanboying on the inside and trying to hide his surprise that Allen genuinely recognizes such an average athlete as him. Allen, however, already knows Deuce due to closely following all Japanese competitions, and has also noticed how incredibly ambitious Deuce is. Knowing Deuce's pain of carrying other people's hopes and never being the best at anything all too well from his teen years, Allen wants to get to know him better... and what starts off as mutual admiration and a celebrity crush on Deuce's side develops into full-blown love.
♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤
If this post/AU ends up being well-received, I'll introduce Riddle, Trey and Cater next!
♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤
More about the Deuce x Allen ship in the canon lore:
part 1 // part 2 // part 3
Friends who participated in the original AU development some months ago 🫶
@althea-and-alcestris @miss-atena @vanrouge13 @spookyavenuestreet @heyhellohihowareyou @nyx-of-night
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst fanart#twst art#deuce spade#ace trappola#allen alagona#disney twst#twisted wonderland fanart#twst yuu#twst mc#my art#twst au#heartshackle#twst deuce#twisted wonderland deuce#deuce fanart#ace trappola fanart#twst ace#twisted wonderland oc#twisted wonderland ace trappola#yuu twst#deuce twst#twst fan event#twst prefect#twst oc#twisted oc#twisted wonderland yuu#deuce x oc#adeuyuu
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BARELYYYYY write another daddy Leon fic, AND MY LIFE WILL BE YOURSSS
867-5309.
Real Dad! Leon Kennedy X F! Reader (smut)
A/N: this fic is shitty and short, sorry ^_^ i literally have no drive or desire to write anymore, idk what's going on with me. probably some type of brain worm! but i thought i should at least try to get something written :3 (ily whoever knows what song the title is referencing)
Tags: incest (daddy-daughter), phone sex, age gap (21 and 50-ish), mutual masturbation, no actual sex, idk dude i'm not sure what i was going for with this
Wordcount: 719
!!! DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT/DARK CONTENT !!!
"Little note wasn't lying," Leon said into his phone, sitting in his car near the back of the bar's mostly empty parking lot. "What's this about a good time, doll?"
It was too late for him to be out like this. Too late for him to be this far from sober. Too late for him to be calling some random number that was stuck to the urinal partition. And, of course, it was much too late for him to be this horny.
"Depends," a voice, your voice, spoke on the line. "What kinda night is it, mister?"
Thank god he was drunk, or else he would've heard right through your overly sensual, fake tone. Thank god you were stupid, or else you would've known it was him right from the sleazy nicknames he used.
"Tonight?"
Dirty fucking man. His hands were practically already in his pants. Roughly palming at himself over his tented jeans to the sound of some mystery broad's voice.
"It's a real good night, babydoll. I think you could make it better though." He pulled his zipper down, cock pulsating desperately.
You giggled on the other line, absolutely drowning in the sudden flush of attention. That's why you slipped the damn sticky note with your burner's number into the men's room all those nights ago, hoping some horned up man old enough to be your dad would ring your line and validate you. Little did you know, that man would truly be your dad.
"Sounds like you could use it. I don't mind 'chatting' for a bit," you said, hand finding its way all over your body. "Tell me, y'touching yourself already?"
"To a voice like yours? Of course I am."
Leon freed himself from the confines of his pants, eyes shifting anxiously as he looked around the sparse parking lot. He was a grown man, he'd jerked off to hotlines and voices on the phone all the time. In public, though? New territory completely.
He squeezed his shaft, feeling it pulse in his hand. Thing had a heartbeat of its own at that point as it practically begging to catch some friction and relief.
"Glad you called," you said, sliding your panties off while you spoke. You tossed them in the corner of your room mindlessly. "I've been waiting for someone to find that little note."
Leon opened his mouth to respond when he heard a soft moan escape your mouth. That was enough for him to start. He wanted to take it slow, to enjoy himself, but who was he kidding? He was a needy fucker and he wanted to cum ASAP.
"What'cha doing right now?" he was finally able to ask, swallowing thickly as he pumped his length. "Using those cute fingers, doll?"
You hummed through an over exaggerated moan, dramatizing and putting on a show for your 'mystery man.'
"Sure am," you said, finger curled, reaching your g-spot the best you could with the limited length it had. "But it's not as good as the real thing."
He could practically hear the pout in your voice, and it drove him crazy. You sounded like a bratty little baby, just his type.
"Awh, aren't you a poor thing? Bet some older cock would do you good, huh?"
He heard the squelch of your cunt through the phone speaker. It picked up the sound of your palm hitting your clit, and the little gasps of air you let out each time you slammed your fingers in.
"Guess so." You bit your bottom lip, holding back an excited squeal at his words. "You offering?"
Leon chuckled dryly, watching the tip of his cock weep with pre as he stroked himself. "Oh, someone's eager. Sure," he said, amused smirk on his face as he started to near his climax, hand still working furiously over his cock. "I'm offering. I could use a cute thing like you, anyway. It'll be much better than just hearing ya through the phone."
"We'll see about that," you teased, phone clicking off of the line just as he started to cum.
(XXX)-867-5309: *sent location*
(XXX)-867-5309: pull up ;)
Wait, that address? That was his house...
"Fuck."
Leon's head fell back on the car seat headrest, brain going a mile a minute. Hand still covered in stray spurts of cum.
"Fuck!"
#dead dove fic#tw: incest#cw incest#leon kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy#leon s kennedy smut#dad x daughter#resident evil x reader#resident evil#smutfic#smut#x reader#fanfic#leon s kennedy x reader#gross kink#fucked up fic
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See You Later
Inspired by this song: see you later (ten years)
Pairing: Bakugo x f!reader
tw's: angst with happy ending, manga spoilers, bad writing?? (idk bro lmk more in tags)
Summary: In middle school, you see a red string on your finger. It leads you to Bakugo Katsuki, a boy with fire and anger, less than pleased to see you as his soulmate. After several attempts of befriending and getting to know him, he shuns all your efforts to break through. Letting him go, you drift apart.
But the red string of fate hasn't broken yet. Ten years later, you cross paths again.
It had been a week since you moved into the fancy new neighbourhood. Your father had gotten a better job offer here in Musutafu. Of course, that meant a new middle school and new friends. You weren't sure what to expect on your first day of school, but it definitely wasn't seeing a red string on your little finger.
You were just looking for your class in the early hours of the morning, feeling extremely lost. You frowned, the only one in the hallway, looking sideways for your class. Why was the school so big? Giving up, for the time being, you went down to the little pond with fish you spotted on your way here. You'd just ask someone to help you find your class once there were more students around.
You kneeled, watching fish of different colours idly swim in the little pond. Were it not for the slight tug you felt on your pinky, you'd probably have stayed there wasting your time. You looked down at your hand, eyes widening, when you saw a crimson string attached to your little finger. Your lips parted in surprise.
You knew your soulmate was somewhere around.
Along with quirks, some people had the gift of recognising their soulmate. You'd heard countless stories of people with tattoos of their soulmate's first words on their bodies or a marking of where their soulmate first touched them. Sure, you had a quirk, but no soulmate marking.
You slowly stood up, gulping. Who was the person on the other end of the string? Letting out a shaky breath, you followed the string to the school garden. Was your soulmate in the garden? You heard footsteps coming in your direction and then suddenly stopping. You nervously bit your lip, daring to look up.
There he was. A boy with spiky ash-blond hair that pointed in every direction, his eyes just as red as the string connecting you two together, his eyebrows furrowed as he glared at you. You noticed he had two coat and shirt buttons unbuttoned and his tie missing. He was the most handsome guy you met, were it not for the fact that he looked like he was going to murder you and hide your body.
"Are ya going to gape at me all day or say something?" He snapped, making you jump back, his voice deep and raspy.
"Umm- looks like we're soulmates?!" You cringed when your voice came out squeaky.
"No shit."
The red string slowly disappeared after having led you two to each other. You twiddled your thumb nervously, wondering what to say to him. You were surprised when he walked past you like he hadn't just found out you were his soulmate but a random stranger he bumped into. You jogged after him, tightening your grip around your school bag.
"Hey, wait up! What's your name?"
"Fuck off, shitty extra."
You stopped in your tracks, taken aback by his snarky reply. Why would he say that when you asked something so simple? Was he unhappy to find out you were his soulmate? Did he not like the idea of you being his soulmate? You opened your mouth to say something but then decided against it. You sadly turned around, walking in the opposite direction.
Unbeknown to you, none of these were the reasons why he brushed you off. Truth was, he couldn't believe he had a soulmate. Whenever the topic of soulmates came up, everyone had mutually agreed that Bakugo Katsuki could never have a soulmate. He was too proud and angry to have one.
Maybe they were right.
He was surprised that someone as pretty as you was his soulmate. You wanted to know his name, and he couldn't even give you a proper reply. He wasn't sure how to react to you. Maybe everyone was right. He was too proud and angry to have a soulmate.
He glanced back to see that the girl with h/c hair had already left.
Much to your horror, you were placed in the same class as your soulmate. You took a fistful of your skirt as you sat behind him. Was he always going to be mean to you? Was he even going to bother talking to you? He didn't even bat an eye when you passed him to sit in your assigned seat.
Blinking tears, you flung thoughts of him aside. So what if your shitty soulmate didn't want to talk to you? It wasn't like he was the last person on earth. You decided to leave him be for the time being and try to make new friends.
By the end of the day, you had befriended the shy greenette from your class. He chatted with you animatedly as you packed your bag to leave class. It was difficult to hold a decent conversation with him at first since he kept blushing and turning away, flustered, but you managed to get him to be comfortable.
And that irked Bakugo to no end.
You tried over and over for that damn Deku hut you couldn't bother even talking to him again? Maybe if you asked his name again, he would have replied. But now you were making him furious. On his way out of the class, he dumped the contents of Deku's pencil case on the floor and stormed off, making sure to at least crack a pen or two under his shoes before leaving.
"What's with him?!" You scoffed, helping Midoriya pick up his stationery.
"He's always been like that..." he mumbled. Your fists clenched at your sides, your nails digging into your palm.
"Are you okay, Y/n?"
"Yeah, it's just that," you looked down at your shoes, confused with the whole soulmate deal, "he's my soulmate."
Midoriya's pencil case fell from his hand, his stationery clattering everywhere. You gave him a deadpan look when he gasped, covering his mouth with his hand. "KACCHAN? YOU? SOULMATES?"
"Announce that in a loudspeaker next time."
"I can't believe this. Y/n, maybe you can change him!"
"Don't be silly. We can't change anyone."
"But- maybe you're the one that will bring out Kacchan's nicer side!"
"Totally." You rolled your eyes.
In a month, you learned to ignore Bakugo's presence. You regularly hung out with Midoriya, much to bakugo's annoyance. He never talked to you, but I made sure you knew he hated you talking to Midoriya. Either way, you ignored Bakugo and managed to steer away from him and his so-called friends.
That was until Midoriya called in sick one day.
Brooding, you left the school building alone. You heard footsteps and snickering behind you and glanced back to see Bakugo's friends. Your eye twitched in annoyance, and you continued walking ahead. But his friends had other plans. They pulled you back by your backpack, almost making you fall.
"Hey, you're the one always hanging out with that sore loser." One of them snickered, taking your bag and unzipping it. "Got any cash? Oh, look, candy."
"Put it back, zip the bag, and hand it over." You said firmly.
"Or what?"
You hesitated, unsure of what to do. They tossed your school bag amongst each other as you tried getting it back. Annoyed, you opened your water bottle, manipulating the water to come out and splash them all. They glared at you, their uniforms wet, rolling up their sleeves. You backed away into a pillar, feeling intimidated.
"What do you fuckers think you're doing?" Bakugo's voice boomed, pushing his 'friends' away from you, stepping in front of you almost protectively.
"Really Bakugo? You're standing up for that quirkless runt's friend?" One of them said.
"You're not laying a hand on my soulmate." He hissed. Realization dawned on their faces, and they stepped back, apologizing.
"Now screw off." Bakugo barked at them.
Sure, you and Bakugo never talked, but when he stood up for you, your chest warmed, and the slightest grain of hope was planted in your heart. You had to put some sort of effort for your relationship to work.
"Uh... Thanks." You mumbled.
"Whatever." He looked away from you, pretending to be uninterested, but stayed put. You gathered your belongings and faced him, scratching your cheek awkwardly. He glanced at you once and made a move to leave, stopping when you held his sleeve.
"Do you want to hang out sometime?" You asked shyly. He stared at you blankly, eyebrows knitted together. You let go of his sleeve, stepping back a little. "We're soulmates, so I thought it would be a good idea to get to know each other a little bit..." you trailed off.
I'm so stupid. What made me think he'd want to get to know me? I'm just another extra in his way. He doesn't care that we're soulmates, so why do I?
"Give me your number." He demanded, snapping you out of your thoughts.
"Eh?"
"Are you deaf? Give me your number so we can decide where to meet over the weekend." He grumbled, handing you his phone.
"O-oh." You took the phone from him with shaky hands, adding your number to his contacts, internally cursing yourself for being this excited.
But this was progress, right?
You sighed, glancing down at your phone for the millionth time that afternoon, waiting in the café he told you he'd meet you. He was thirty minutes late. You allowed yourself to wait for fifteen minutes more, before getting up from your seat, tears pooling in your eyes.
What made you think he wanted to get to know you? He probably agreed to a meetup so you would get off his nerves for some time.
"I hate this." You mumbled to yourself, walking out of the café.
"Hate what?" A familiar voice asked. You glanced back with a frown, freezing when you saw Bakugo.
"I get caught up in the rush hour, and you decide to ditch my ass?" He rolled his eyes, voice sarcastic.
"Can you blame me?" You grumbled, looking away.
"Klutz." He clicked his tongue. You followed him back into the café, sitting across from him. He stared outside the giant glass panes, elbow on the table, chin in his palm. The sun cast a soft glow in his hair, his maroon eyes almost glowing. His gaze turned to you again, a frown replacing his once neutral features.
"Done orderin' yet?"
I was supposed to order? You picked up the menu, feeling flustered. You ordered your favourite drink while he ordered a cup of cinnamon tea.
"So what's yer quirk?" He asked.
"Water manipulation," you replied. "I can basically make the water do what I want it to. Pretty lame." You pointed your finger at a glass of water, having drops of water dance around your finger.
"It's not lame. Can you make weapons?" He asked a hint of amusement in his eyes. You nodded, making a small needle.
"It's perfect for a hero."
"You want to be a hero, right?" You asked, smiling. "Your quirk is really strong."
"Damn right." He crossed his arms across his chest, sporting a devilish grin. "What about you?"
"I don't know, to be honest. I don't think hero-ing is my thing, so I'm just going to see where life takes me."
Bakugo snorted, and the little confidence you gained to talk to him went crashing down again. You looked down at your hands, wondering why fate had to put two completely opposite people together. You two would never get along. You felt like he was sitting there across from you solely because he felt obliged to since you were soulmates.
You silently sipped on your drink once it arrived. Bakugo's eye twitched in annoyance as he watched your glum expression. His jaw clenched as he took in your hairstyle and that stupidly cute white colour sundress you wore, a weird feeling surging in his stomach. What irritated him the most was that you barely looked up at him as if you were scared of him.
"Do I scare you, Y/n?" He asked, his voice surprisingly calm. You almost jumped when he used your name.
"Er- a little bit, I suppose?" You replied honestly.
He let out a 'tch', taking a sip of his tea. "It's not like 'm gonna kill you."
"It's not just that... are we going to be like this forever?"
"Like what?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Ignoring each other, you being unnecessarily rude to me and many other obvious things."
"First of all, you're the one that doesn't bother even looking at me," Bakugo growled. "Stop making it sound like it's my fault."
"Because the first time I asked for your name you snapped at me!" You reminded, glaring at him. He bared his teeth at you in a scowl. You shook your head, leaning back in your chair, looking out of the window.
"Look," He ruffled his hair, averting his eyes from you, "this is new to me. I don't know how to go on about this soulmate shit, so give me some time to get used to it."
Your eyes shifted up to him, your gaze softening. He was right. You two were suddenly forced together. Two completely opposite strangers. It was going to take some time for both of you to get used to this.
"Looks like we both need some time to get used to this."
Bakugo's breath hitched at your smile. He grumbled, looking away with the faintest pink dusting his cheeks. Maybe you weren't that shitty of a soulmate.
He was slowly warming up to you. Slowly, but surely. When you greeted him in the morning, he at least looked at you and grumbled back an incoherent response. He was getting used to your blabbing during free periods and found himself, God forbid, enjoying your voice.
One random day, he decided to walk home with you, much to your surprise. You walked beside him in silence, stealing happy glances at him now and then. You were finally getting somewhere with him. "Where do you live?" he asked, stopping in front of a modern Japanese-style house.
"Just around the corner." You replied. "You?"
"Right here, dumbass." He replied, opening the residency gates.
"Oh. Looks like we live really close." You grinned. His heart almost leapt out of his chest at that stupidly cute grin.
"Whatever..." He stepped on the other side, slamming the gates shut and disappearing into his house.
"Sometimes he acts really strange..." you muttered.
Over the months, you two grew even closer. He respected you enough to let you step into his abode, also known as his room. You two would game or do homework together and then laze around together. If it got too late, he'd walk you home. He made sure to flick your forehead and tease you in greeting every morning.
Even Midoriya noticed.
His jaw almost dropped to the floor when he saw you talking to him, your hands making exaggerated gestures as you told him something. The Kacchan he knew would usually yell a 'shut up!' and move on with his day.
It seemed to be going perfectly fine until there were ten months left for Bakugo's entrance exam.
Today, you guys would be filling out forms for the high school you wanted to attend after this academic year was over. Of course, almost everyone in your class wanted to attend hero schools and courses.
"Oi, where are ya going to be attending?" He asked. You held your form up for him to read the name of the high school. It was a regular high school where students who didn't want to pursue hero careers studied.
"It's obviously U.A. for you?"
"Yeah."
Midoriya hopped over to you with his form in hand. The class was almost empty now since the lessons were over. "Y/n! Where are you applying?" He peeked at your form, giving you a beaming smile. "You said wanted to run a business after high school, right?"
"Yup!"
Bakugo glared at Midoriya, a vein popping on his forehead. That damn Deku knew you wanted to attend a business course, but he didn't. Why didn't you ever tell him? Were you scared he'd belittle you? Bakugo stood up, snatching Deku's form. As if on cue, his little minions gathered around him, snickering at Midoriya.
"Look who's applying to U.A. Did you really think a quirkless fuck like you could get into U.A.?" Bakugo cocked his head at Deku, daring him to speak back.
"Kacchan, please give me my form back."
"You want it back? Beg."
"Katsuki, give it back." You said sternly. Ignoring you, he burnt Midoriya's form to ash.
"You'll never be a hero," One of Bakugo's minions cackled.
"If you want to be a hero so badly, take a swan dive off the roof. Maybe you'll be born with a quirk in your next life." Bakugo snickered as he left, glancing back to give Midoriya a smirk. Your eyes widened at Bakugo's words. Deku glared at Bakugo, the angriest you ever saw your green-haired friend.
You never intervened in Bakugo's vendetta against Midoriya before. But when Bakugo spat such venomous words, you couldn't hold it back anymore. You marched out of the class, catching up to him. You put a hand on his shoulder, making him glance back questioningly. You took his hand, pulling him away from his friends.
"Oi, what are you doing?" He asked in confusion as you led him to the staircase. You shoved him against the wall, taking him by surprise.
"What the fuck-" Before he could finish, your palm crashed into his cheek.
"What's wrong with you?!" You screamed. "What would you do if he actually killed himself?!" Bakugo held his cheek in shock, guilt washing over now that he repeated his words to Midoriya in his head. Then rage clouded his senses. You were standing up for Deku instead of him.
"You always do that." He scowled. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. "You're always standing up for that fucking Deku! What do you even like about him?! He's just a quirkless nobody!"
"He's my friend!"
"Well, you clearly care for your damn friend more than your soulmate!" Bakugo yelled.
"What- where did that come from?!"
"Hah, don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. That damn Deku knew you wanted to go in the business course, but you didn't bother telling me?" He took an intimidating step towards you. "Is it because you think I'm so shitty I would have made fun of you for choosing the business course?"
"It's nothing like that." You replied, unfazed by the steps he took towards you. "I never told you because you never asked since you were too busy flaunting your quirk."
"Just tell me how much you fucking hate me at this point." He scowled.
"You're right. I do hate you and your pride you can't put aside for one minute."
He held his head in his hands, pacing back and forth. He glanced at you, dropping his hands to his sides. "This is why I hate soulmates."
"Don't worry. I'm not very happy about being bound to you for the rest of my life either." You snapped. You turned away from him to descend the stairs, glancing behind your shoulder for the last time. "Good luck being a hero with that mindset of yours. Heroes are meant to protect the weak. Not bully them to death."
Bakugo seethed in his place, his fists fuming. "You know what? I wish I had a scissor the day I found you were my soulmate so I could cut that damn string that made me meet you."
Wordlessly, you left him on the staircase.
When you weren't there in class the next day, Bakugo assumed you called in sick. But when the teacher told him you were moving to another school, his blood chilled. Were you transferring schools because of him?
After school, he found Deku leaving the school building. He ran up to him, stopping the boy. "Why is Y/n changing schools?"
"Umm..." Deku knew the reason you changed schools was Bakugo, but he couldn't say it to his face unless he wanted a fracture in his skull, "she said she found a better school."
Bakugo let Deku go, his eyebrows knitted deep in thought. Were you seriously going to transfer schools without saying a word to him after your fight? Was he a little too harsh? When he paid attention to his surroundings, he realized his feet had taken him to your house. He brought his finger to the doorbell, hesitating. What would he say after the door opened?
I do hate you and your pride you can't put aside for one minute, your voice echoed in his head. He gulped and pressed the doorbell.
An older woman with the same h/c hair as yours opened the door, "Hello. You are...?"
"I'm Y/n's-" Y/n's what? Friend? Clearly, you guys weren't friends anymore. Soulmate? You both expressed you didn't want each other. "I'm Y/n's classmate."
The woman nodded and called for you. He heard you reply, 'I'm coming!' in the background. You appeared behind your mother, peeking over her shoulder to see who it was, freezing when you saw it was Bakugo. You stepped outside, closing the door behind you so you two could have some privacy. You sat on the porch beside Bakugo, playing with a thread on your pants.
"Changing schools, huh?" He was the first one to speak, looking anywhere but at you.
"Yeah," you replied, "it's better this way."
There was thick silence between you two, followed by the buzz of the hot afternoon. Bakugo broke the silence first. "Is it because of me?"
You looked up at the deep blue sky, shielding your eyes from the sun. "I don't know," you admitted. "I want to spend the rest of my months in junior high stress-free. This seems like the only appropriate solution to me."
You met his crimson eyes, giving him a smile, "I want to end this one on a good note. So forgive me for my sharp words yesterday."
Bakugo wished you'd slap him again instead of being so nice to him. He did not deserve this. He did not deserve your kindness. He bit his tongue, trying to ease the surging emotions inside his chest. He wanted to apologise. He really did. But he couldn't.
"Is this goodbye?" He asked. He watched you get up and walk back to your door. He got up, facing you, waiting for a reply.
"See you later." You smiled as you closed the door.
That day was the last time you talked to each other.
Bakugo magnificently failed his provisional licence test. He was curled up in his bed, buried under a blanket, his entire body aching after confronting Midoriya earlier. There was too much running in his mind. It was overwhelming. His hunch of Deku getting All Might's quirk proved to be right, and then there was the fact that he was slowly going to rebuild his friendship with Midoriya. There was also you.
He was fixing his mistakes, working towards being a better version of himself, but he never got to fix his relationship with you. It had been so long since he last saw you he was starting to forget what you looked like. The bond between you two was still there. He knew because every time he held his hand up and closed his eyes, he could still see the red string.
Bakugo got out from under the blanket. After the house arrest, he'd visit his neighbourhood and talk to you again. He wanted you to give him another chance. This time, he wasn't going to let you go.
As soon as his house arrest was lifted, he took the bus and stopped by his neighbourhood. He ran past his house and turned to the corner where your house was. He stopped in his tracks when he saw you standing outside with a guy your guys' age. Your hair had grown longer, and your facial features seemed to have matured from the last time he saw you. You smiled at the mysterious boy standing next to you. Your smile was still pretty as it was before.
Bakugo's jaw clenched when the boy leaned in and grabbed your waist, pulling you in for a kiss. His heart fell to his stomach. Who was he kidding? Did he really expect you to wait for him all this time?
He slowly turned back to where he came from, cursing the tears that formed in his eyes. He wiped them away, convincing himself that you deserved someone better than him anyway.
Schools all over Japan shut down due to the war. You were lazing on the couch, re-reading a novel. Every now and then, you tuned in with the news. You found out Katsuki and many other hero students would be on the frontlines.
If you were being honest, you missed him. Or it was more like you missed the idea of what it would be like if you two remained by each other's side instead of drifting apart. In your freshman year, you got into a relationship with a guy you thought was your type. But you couldn't seem to let your soulmate go, and your ex didn't seem to like the idea of you already having a soulmate. That was the end of your relationship.
You sighed, putting the novel over your face. You suddenly felt a sharp, piercing pain in the left side of your chest. You sat up straight, cupping your breast, trying to breathe the pain away. Unexpectedly, the red string on your little finger appeared again. Your eyes widened, and you stood up.
This time, you did not have the chance to follow it. Because the red string of fate snapped in two.
You picked up the tray with coffee and cake, setting it on your customer's table with a smile. It had been a few months since you opened this café, and business was booming.
Ten years had passed since the incident with the red string snapping in two. After the war was over, you found out that Bakugo died for a short period of time due to the rupture in his heart. It was fixed by the Ninja hero, edgeshot. Bakugo was okay. When you closed your eyes, you could still see the red string. It gave you some sort of comfort knowing he was alive.
At the end of the day, you closed the café, dropping the shutters and securing the lock. You yawned, bringing a hand to your mouth to cover it. You were closing awfully late today. You pulled your long coat tighter around your body, shivering in the cold midnight breeze.
You walked the empty streets, hands in your pockets to keep them warm. You let out a long exhale, watching your breath condense. You felt a slight tug on your little finger and slid your hand out. You stopped breathing when you saw a red colour string around your finger.
You stood there, staring at your hand. After a few seconds of trying to calm your dancing heart, you looked up, your breath hitching. There he was. Standing a few feet across from you, watching you through his ash-blonde bangs, was Bakugo Katsuki.
Tears pooled in your eyes as you took in your soulmate. He'd grown so tall since the last time you saw him. You were just teenagers then. He had gained more muscle, the streetlamps highlighting his gains hiding behind his winter hero suit. He looked ethereal.
He gaped at you in disbelief. He thought he was hallucinating when he saw the red string appear again. He took a step towards you, admiring the beautiful woman you blossomed into. How long had it been? Ten years?
You ran up to him, putting all your uncertainty aside and throwing your arms around him. Bakugo put his hands up in surprise, unsure where to put his hands.
"I missed you, Katsuki." You whispered, your ear on his chest, eyes closed. You felt strong arms wrap around you, pulling you closer to him.
"I missed you too, Y/n" He breathed, his voice reverberating in his chest.
You pulled away, admiring his vermillion eyes shining in the streetlight. He looked so different yet the same. You put some distance between you two, clearing your throat.
"What're you doing out here so late?"
"Patrol. What about you?"
"Just closed the café. I got busy with the transactions and lost track of time." You finished with a small laugh. Bakugo's chest warmed at that sound.
"Opened your own café, huh?" He smirked.
"Yeah," You smiled.
You guys stood across from each other with so much to say, yet no words would form. You shifted on your feet, putting a hand behind your neck, averting your gaze. "I thought... I'd never see you again. When you almost died in the war... it scared me, Katsuki."
"Sorry..." He mumbled.
You shook your head, taking his hands. "I'm sorry, Katsuki. I never gave you a chance. I- I left after saying some pretty mean things. I'm so sorry."
"Shh," His big, calloused hands cupped your cheek, wiping the tear under your eye before it rolled down. He wanted you to know he was a changed man. Sure, he was still a little quick to temper, but his rage had calmed down over the years.
"I'm sorry too, Y/n," He murmured, bringing his forehead to yours. "I said some pretty messed up shit too. I never got a chance to apologize. I'm sorry. Im sorry I pushed you away."
"It's alright, Katsuki," you said, holding the hand cupping your cheek, "we were both immature teenagers. It's okay."
"Will you... will you give me another chance?" He asked, watching your expressions carefully. "Unless you're still with that guy."
"Eh?" You tilted your head in confusion. "Which guy?"
Bakugo's face went beet red, and he stepped back from you, coughing. "You know... that guy you kissed."
Your mouth formed an 'O' in realization. You burst out laughing, making Bakugo sweatdrop. "I didn't even last a week with that guy!" You wheezed, wiping a tear from your eye.
"Whatever..." He blushed, scratching his cheek.
"How did you find out though?"
Bakugo huffed, a small pout on his lips. "I wanted to apologize, but when I saw him kiss you, I wasn't sure you wanted me anymore."
You smiled up at him, your eyes softening. "I'll give you another chance, Katsuki. So please give me a chance, too. Let's fix this together."
He brushed the hair away from your face, tucking some away behind your ears. His index and thumb came down to your chin, tilting your head, eyes drifting down to your lips. You leaned closer to him, your eyelashes fluttering shut. He pressed his lips to yours, his heart racing at the feeling of your soft and warm lips on his.
You went on tiptoes, finding it difficult to crane your neck for him. He smiled against your lips, lowering his back so it would be easier for you. You pulled back for a few seconds, your hands on his shoulders, your cheeks flushed. He dived in for another kiss, this time with more passion. Your back arched when you felt his tongue in your mouth, your hand travelling up to his hair to gently tug on it, his hand behind your neck.
Time might have not been your favour previously, but time doesn't stay the same forever. Both of you were willing to redo everything and close the decade-long gap away from each other. It wasn't too late yet.
Your intimate moment with Bakugo was broken when his pager cracked to life. He almost jumped, pulling away from the kiss. "Dynamight, are you still in the area?" A voice asked, "We need backup."
"I'm comin'" He replied.
He looked down at you, his cheeks red. It was cute. "So, uh- Looks like I gotta go."
"It's alright." You replied, breathless from the kiss.
"Give me your number." He unlocked his phone, handing it to you. You took it from him, saving your contact number.
"See you later, Katsuki." You smiled, handing him his phone.
Bakugo took his phone, feeling content. He pressed another quick kiss to your lips before taking off with explosions, his heart thrumming in his chest. He finally felt at ease after years of wanting to chase you. 'See you later.' You said that ten years ago as well. Bakugo knew it wasn't goodbye this time. Because you would be there with him every day from here on.
#idk why i wrote this#but yayy?#bakugo#bnha#bakugou#katsuki#katsuki bakugo#mha#kacchan#katsuki bakugou#bakugo x reader#soulmate au#bakugo x you#mha bakugou#bnha bakugou#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo mha#soulmates#bakugou x reader#azzo writes
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Man Eater (3) 𓆩♡𓆪
♡ series masterlist ♡ previous part ♡
♡ Pairing: Logan Howlett/Fem!Vigilante!Reader
♡ Word Count: 3.0k
♡ Rating: Mature (but any additional parts may be explicit)
♡ Warning/Tags: fighting but by no means violent
♡ Summary: Leaving your past behind is never easy; teasing Logan makes it tolerable
♡ Note: i FINALLY have a proper vision for the series and i'm so so so excited!
It didn’t take you long to move into the X-mansion. You typically kept most of your things in storage, preferring to live out of a suitcase as you traveled from place to place. It always made it easier to leave on short notice if needed.
But you promised yourself you’d try to make it work at the school, hence moving all your belongings in. Leaving in the cover of night would be significantly harder now—unless you were willing to part with more than a few possessions.
In just a month, you’d settled into a permanent room and reacquainted yourself with your newfound teammates. Like Charles, they treated you with kindness and respect whenever your paths crossed. Occasionally, you even assisted them if it aligned with your own self-interest.
You had more interactions with Logan than anyone else. Despite knowing him for only a few weeks, you two were definitely getting closer. Friends? Maybe. True friendships were rare for you. Most of your relationships were transactional, impersonal. But with Logan, words weren’t always necessary to convey what the other was thinking or feeling. There was a mutual understanding between you.
Still, he loved finding new ways to get under your skin. And you were more than happy to return the favor. It was a brazen, tenacious dance that raised the tension in any room you were in, even when others were around.
Bantering with him was the only exciting part of your days. You itched to do something—anything besides train. The thrill of a mission was what you craved. Waiting for that “something good” Charles and Logan had mentioned felt like torture.
You saw the others come and go on missions a few times over the month. They’d be gone for only a few hours or a day, but that was exactly what you wanted. Your requests, however, were falling on deaf ears.
“I think I’m ready,” you reaffirmed to Storm as you finished a set in the gym. “I did great in the Danger Room, I train on my own, I’ve read some rather boring files. I’m ready!”
“You survived the Danger Room,” Storm corrected. “You’d do better if you actually worked with us instead of next to us.”
You huffed, hands on your hips. “I’m trying, alright? And I have been doing better!”
“You have,” Storm nodded. She glanced over, noticing Logan entering the gym with a group of students, and a sly smile crossed her face. “If bickering and flirting with Logan were a measure of improvement, I’d say you’re more than ready for a mission.”
Looking over your shoulder, you saw Logan talking with some students. You’d bet his training shirt was a size too small, hugging every ridge of his toned physique. You quickly turned away, not wanting to give him any ammunition for later teasing.
You shook your head, a smile creeping onto your lips. “Well, he’s annoying, and it’s something to do until I can actually go on a mission.”
Storm noticed Logan catching sight of the two of you and saw the tension between you thicken. Around the students, you both were more restrained, but that didn’t stop Logan from eyeing you across the room.
“Patience is a virtue,” Storm remarked as she passed you, knowing it was best to leave you and Logan to your own devices.
Turning, you watched as Storm said something to Logan before leaving the gym. An idea sparked in your mind as Logan’s gaze settled on you. You gave him a nod toward the wall, signaling for him to follow. He obliged, moving out of the students’ earshot.
Noticing the sweat-soaked collar of your shirt, Logan couldn’t help himself. “Already hot and bothered just by me being here, sweetheart?”
Your face remained serious, ignoring his comment. “Can you do me a favor?” You crossed your arms, your tone sincere.
Logan huffed, realizing he wasn’t going to get a rise out of you. He nodded, mirroring your stance. “Yeah, what’s up?”
You felt silly about your request. “Can you talk to Charles for me? I want to start going on missions, but no one thinks I’m ready.”
Logan shook his head, surprised. “Probably because you’re not ready.” You’d heard it from Charles, Scott, and Storm, but hearing it from Logan felt like a betrayal, even personal.
“You know better than anyone I can handle myself!” Your voice was louder than intended. “I’ve been doing this longer than any of you—well, except you.”
Logan raised a hand, signaling you to ease up. “Easy, sweetheart, you’ve only been here a month.”
“And it’s agonizing!” you snapped. “I know I’m still learning this whole team thing, but you said I could do something good here.”
“Then do something!” Logan shot back, as if it was obvious. Before you could retort, he continued, “Look, Charles has me teaching self-defense to these boys without their abilities. Offer to do the same for the girls.”
For the first time, Logan had managed to shut you up. You looked over his shoulder, watching the boys practice without his supervision.
“Yeah, we have missions, but this is a school. Helping these kids—that’s the original mission.”
You glanced back at him, huffing. “You sound like Charles.”
“Because he has to remind me of that sometimes.” He placed a hand on your shoulder. “And now I get to remind you.”
His firm grasp was oddly calming. Weeks ago, you would’ve swatted his hand away with a scold, but now his touch felt sincere.
You nodded. “Alright, I’ll talk to Charles about training some students. But will you talk to him for me?”
Logan playfully hummed as if he was weighing his options, “I’ll vouch for you when the time comes,” Logan decided, shooting you a smile. He turned back to the boys, seeing them get a bit more rowdy under no current supervision. “I’d invite you to watch, but I think you’d distract the boys” he teased as he squeezed your shoulder. The look in his eyes was more mischievous than anything.
You picked his arm off your shoulder, sensing the bait, “Distract them or distract you?”
Logan eyed your leggings and cropped shirt. Your partially exposed abdomen and arms were dried with sweat, but Logan couldn’t get your smell out of his head. It was almost dizzying. It had been getting worse over the last few weeks. Your smell was all over the mansion on every goddamn surface in every goddamn room. He only found refuge in his own room. However, Logan was nothing but honest.
“Mainly the boys, but…” Logan stepped a little closer, taking a proper deep breath to inhale your scent, “I ain’t above your charms either.”
You deeply inhaled, your exhale resulting in a chuckle, “For a man that’s seen my case files, you have to know where that charm can lead you.”
Logan shrugged at your point, “For a woman who claimed she couldn’t possibly be a part of a team, you’re sure itchin’ to go on a mission.”
“So?”
He shrugged again, taking a few steps back with a playful gleam in his eyes. “First impressions aren’t everything.”
You watched as Logan went back to the students, immediately getting their attention when he spoke up. As you walked past the group to leave the gym, you noticed how attentive the male students were actually being, focusing on every word Logan was saying. And whether Logan wanted to say Charles made him do this or not, you could tell that he enjoyed it. If he said no, it wasn’t sincere. You knew a liar when you saw one.
After your conversation with Logan, you spoke with Charles. He was excited to see you take initiative in assisting the children. You didn’t have the heart to tell him it was Logan’s idea, but if Charles really wanted to know, he had his ways of figuring that out. You didn’t push the idea of going on missions to him again. That was your idea.
It only took Charles a day to find groupings of female students that were interested in your lessons. At this point, you didn’t interact with the students much. You were more of a lingering figure in the hallways. This was the students’ opportunity to size you up as well.
As you stood there in the gym with 12 girls staring at you with their judgemental eyes, you felt a bit exposed, a little vulnerable. You had grabbed their attention, and now you were slightly regretting it.
“Uhm, so, self-defense is important…your abilities won’t always save you. It may not be safe to use your abilities.” You nodded as if you were convincing yourself. Some of the girls nodded as well, giving you some semblance of confidence.
“I’m not…” a curly haired girl began as she looked at you. Her brown eyes were wide with hesitation, “I’m not a fighter.” A few of the other girls muttered in agreement.
“And you don’t have to be.” You tried to reassure them with a soft smile. “I’m not asking you guys to pick fights or…even like to fight. It’s just important to the Professor…important to me that you guys know how to protect yourselves. No matter where you go in life.”
Pride was a feeling you were familiar with. Usually that pride stemmed from your own work. And these girls were right; they definitely weren’t fighters. However, watching these girls take your advice, follow your movements, even laugh when they made a mistake, you felt pride outside of yourself. Even over the course of an hour, you saw the improvement. Their movements were more fluid as they learned to strike and block.
You could see that the hour was winding down. It flew by as you watched the paired up teens practice these simple moves on each other. Your mind was already racing with ideas on what to teach next. Sighing with contentment, you clapped to grab their attention.
“Alright, that’s gonna be all for today!” you told them, only holding some of the girls’ attention. The others were still playfully fighting at this point. “Same time next week? Yeah?”
A number of the girls nodded as they began to grab their things. When your eyes turned toward the door, you spotted Logan leaned against the doorframe with his large forearms crossed. You looked smitten with himself as he watched you interact with the students. You playfully narrowed your eyes with a soft smile.
You turned your attention back to the girls who were grabbing their bags, “And if you don’t remember anything from today, just remember to never pull your punches. What you lack in experience, you can make up for in ferocity, alright?”
The giddy girls all were quick to say their thank yous and goodbyes as they passed you. Some said bye to Logan, too, as he moved out of their way.
With hands shoved in his jean pockets, he approached, “They don’t look half-bad,” he remarked, referring to the students. “And you look pleased with yourself, sweetheart.”
You bit your lip to hold back a smile, knowing Logan was going to use this as ammunition on why he’s always right. But a part of you didn’t care. “You were right; these are good kids. And I may have had fun,” you admitted as you grabbed the spray bottle and pushed the mop to clean down the mats. Logan walked beside you with raised brows as you began to clean up.
“Oh, I was right? That sounds good coming off your lips,” Logan teased, lightly shoving your shoulder.
“Don’t get used to it, Wolvie.” You eyed him as you turned around with the mop around to toward the other end. Noticing his sweats and t-shirt–that damn tight t-shirt again–you motioned to the equipment toward the end of the gym. “Are you here to work out or bother me? Because the weights are down there, brute.”
Logan's mouth quirked into a wry smile at your question. Walking next to you, he could smell your scent, a mix of sweat and your own natural scent. It made him feel oddly relaxed yet infuriated. He let his eyes drift down to your body as you pushed the mop.
“I was, but,” His eyes lingered on your form before taking the mop from you, tossing it against the wall, “now I wanna see if what you’re teaching these girls are any good.”
Logan backed up, giving ample space between the two of you. You cocked your head, interested in the dare but still hesitant. The tension was already stiff in the gym with anticipation at the mere mention of a fight.
“I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” you shot back, already beginning to stretch your arms, “but if you wanted a personal lesson, all you had to do was ask, Wolvie.” Your tone teased him, bringing a gleam of challenge in his features.
In the empty gym, you both took your stances across from each other, sizing the other up. The thrill of anticipation and adrenaline began to flood your bloodstream as you mentally refamiliarized with how Logan fought during the Danger Room. Brutish is how you’d described it.
“You gonna keep your claws to yourself?”
“Gonna keep your knives to yourself?”
You dramatically rolled your eyes. You unsheathed your knives, darting them to a nearby board in a show of faith.
Logan cracked his knuckles, a smirk playing on his lips. “You sure you want to do this? I wouldn’t want to hurt you, princess.”
You rolled your eyes, shifting into a defensive stance. “The only thing delicate around here is your ego.”
With a sudden burst, Logan lunged forward, aiming for your midsection. You ducked, the rush of air from his punch sending a thrill down your spine. You pivoted swiftly, landing a sharp kick to his side. Logan staggered but quickly regained his stance, admiration creeping on his lips.
“Not bad,” he admitted, his tone teasing, “but you’ll need to do better than that to impress me.”
You couldn’t help but grin, “I already know I impress you.”
You darted in again, your movements a blur. A quick jab here, a feint there—Logan parried some strikes but let one slip through, catching him right on the cheek. The surprise on his face was priceless, and you took a moment to bask in it. If Logan could bruise, he was sure he would have.
You winced, a playful lilt in your voice, “I don’t pull my punches, Wolvie.”
Logan dryly chuckled, rubbing his cheek, “Alright, sweetheart.”
With a mock glare, he lunged again, relying on his size and strength. You ducked low, narrowly avoiding his grasp, and then executed a spinning kick that nearly knocked him off balance. He stumbled, caught between frustration and admiration.
“Gotta say, I like the way you move for me,” he remarked, genuine awe shining through.
“You wanted an up close show,” you shot back, grinning as you moved in again, launching a series of rapid jabs. Logan blocked a few but let one slip, landing solidly on his jaw again. He staggered, a laugh escaping his lips. “And I aim to please.”
As they exchanged blows, the gym echoed with their banter and laughter. You weren’t even exclusively on the mats anymore. You were moving around the equipment, against the wall. Logan tried to pin you against the wall, but you slipped out of his grasp, executing a swift spin that brought you behind him once more.
With a burst of speed, you locked him in a tight hold, your bodies inches apart. Logan struggled, muscles flexing beneath their grip, but you had the upper hand. “You’re not getting away that easily,” you teased, leaning closer, their breath brushing against his ear. You felt Logan ease up.
“Don’t know if I want to,” Logan shot back, breathless yet exhilarated.
Feeling your cheeks reddened, you pushed Logan down, pinning him to the padded floor in a swift maneuver with knee and forearm. You positioned yourself over him, yours faces inches apart. Logan didn’t appear defeated; he looked pleased with himself despite the pressure on his abdomen and chest.
You were pleased with yourself, too…for more reasons than one.
“I won,” you breathlessly stated, a small smile on your lips.
Logan’s eyes darted between your eyes and your lips. He unconsciously licked his lips before another smile grew on his face, “Then why do I feel so damn lucky?”
You would’ve expected your heart to slow at this point, yet it stayed elevated as you looked down at Logan. His hazel eyes were now a dark green. It was over. You could release him, but you didn’t. Against your better judgment, you nuzzled yourself close to his ear, hearing his breath hitch.
“Because most men barely make it out with their lives when I get ‘em like this.”
It took everything in Logan not to groan as lips grazed against his ear. Yet, he couldn’t help the hand that partially gripped your waist, feeling the warmth radiating from your body.
“Not the worst view to take in before the slaughter.”
Your mind was fuzzy being this close to Logan. It only worsened when Logan gripped you. Your entire body was buzzing, screaming to pull away. Still, you stayed, only slightly shifting your weight off his chest. The competitive gleam in Logan’s eyes was replaced with something softer, sensual even. Your breathing slowed, but your heart was racing a mile a minute.
Even Logan couldn’t seem to piece together another quip, a retort. All his thoughts had been stripped away, replaced with only you. You were consuming every ounce of his senses except the very one he craved the most. As close as you were, it wouldn’t be difficult to obtain. Yet, Logan was reluctant because even in the tenderness of your eyes, he saw a flash of something–he almost missed it—that he hadn’t seen in you before.
Fear.
“I gotta talk to Charles,” you quickly stammered as you lifted yourself off of Logan, not even thinking about facing him again. As quick as you said it, you were heading for the door. Logan could only muster the faint call of your name from the floor. He wasn’t surprised when it didn’t stop you.
After slowly standing, Logan noticed your knives still jammed into the wall. Your favorites, no less. Pulling them from the wall, Logan took the knives with him.
You’d be looking for them eventually.
He couldn’t wait until you did.
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It Can't Be That Easy | Joost Klein- Heartbeat! AU
another prequel in the heartbeat! au (makes most sense if read last) description: a month after breaking up with Joost, resulting in you in a horrible slump, you finally had built yourself back enough again to go and have a fun night out, but when Joost shows up to the same party with a brand new girl, you find yourself falling apart all over again.
content: angst!!!! drinking, cheating, hurt with *some* comfort/fluff, ankle injury?, THIS FIC CONTAINS RPF AND HAS BEEN TAGGED AS SUCH, IF YOU'RE HERE YOU SEARCHED FOR IT!!!
word count: 7434
Julie's words go in one ear and immediately escape out the other, her voice nothing but a droning hum against the thumping bass that pours out of some expensive speaker system and the voices of a few dozen people. You stare blankly at your friend, your gaze more focused past her shoulder, eyes fixated on the blank wall behind her. Intoxication has obscured the world around you, everything is so blurry, and out of reach. You can't even make sense of your own thoughts, the wires in your brain crossed and confused. The only thing clear to you is the sharp pang of heartbreak, a defined ache that splits through you. If you hadn't been so otherwise numbed you could cry now, at least the liquor in some way had dulled your need for any bodily reactions to your emotions.
You hadn't left the house much since breaking up with Joost last month- it was only until now had you put yourself together enough to be out for a few hours. Julie had invited you to a party some mutual friend of a mutual friend was having, and you had thought it as the perfect time to finally get out of the house, and try to have a little fun instead of being so sad all the time. Clearly, you had been wrong, going out tonight had been way against your better judgement.
You didn't know her. The girl Joost had shown up with. Nonetheless she was beautiful- the type of pretty that makes you want to crawl into yourself and wonder why you even bothered to show your face in public. He'd walked in with his arm already wrapped firmly around her waist, allowing nobody to make the mistake of thinking she had just been a friend.
You could still feel his presence somewhere around you, the two of them all over each other undoubtably. Her presence immediately making you question if you had made the wrong decision in breaking up with Joost, looking fondly upon the times the two of you would go out together.
But perhaps him jumping into it with someone new so soon had only confirmed you had made the correct choice- the mere thought of getting with anybody any time soon makes your stomach churn.
"Do you know who she is?" Your words are slow, confused, tongue tied with intoxication as you cut off whatever Julie had been saying. Her facial expression twists, eyebrows furrowing, lips pursing.
"What?"
"That girl that uh Joost came in with." You lower your voice and shuffle your vision around as you say his name, like you're a child saying a bad word and trying not to get caught by your parents.
"Oh, babe-" Julie sighs, tilting her head to the side, voice drenched in sympathy. You'd appreciate it more if you hadn't actually been looking for an answer.
"You don't know her?" You ask, trying to ignore the emotional aspect of all this.
"I don't think you should worry abou-"
"Julie." You frown.
"I have no clue." She finally answers, "Maybe she's some tinder girl."
"She's pretty," You sigh.
"You're pretty." Julie smiles, "Too pretty to worry about some stupid boy." She reaches out her hands, placing them on your shoulders, shaking you gently, "Tonight is about you, girl. Have. Some. Fucking. Fun."
Julie lets go of you, causing you to stumble slightly, you blink a few times, your vision blurring.
"Woah," You chuckle, "Don't think I'm meant to be moving that much." You clench your jaw, biting back the motion-induced nausea that was crawling up on you. You inhale, speaking again before Julie can get a word out, "I think I'm- I'll be right back." You don't really think you'll be sick, but you figure better to be safe than sorry, making a disoriented journey around the house to try to find the restroom.
You finally happen upon the door, tucked in a long hallway on the other side of the house. You press your fingertips to its wooden surface, left slightly ajar, you push it open so you can step inside.
Your blood runs cold as soon as you get one foot in the doorway, head peering into the tiny bathroom, witnessing what you could only describe as probably your worst nightmare, next to maybe like getting buried alive, or being back in high school again.
Joost had had the girl he'd come with seated on the bathroom counter, as he stood between her thighs, her legs squeezed around him. He's bent down slightly as their lips interlock, her hands roaming his back.
You're frozen stiff for a moment, paralyzed by a mix of embarrassment and heartache. Time seems to slow down, the scene in front of you now playing out in slow motion.
The girl is the first to break away from this kiss, flinging her head back to get a look of whoever had just walked in on her. The girls sudden movement grabs Joost's attention, whipping his head around, eyes widening in pure mortification once his gaze locks with yours.
"Like I didn't already need to throw up," You mumble, trying to lift your feet from their rigid position on the ground. Thankfully time had never really slowed down, and you're able to get out of the bathroom just as quickly as you had stepped in, slamming the door behind you.
Your hands tremble as your brain comes to recognize what you had just seen. The liquor you had consumed no longer able to hinder your bodily responses, feeling the fierce sting of the tears brimming in your water line mixing with your eyeliner.
You're startled once more when the bathroom door flings open, Joost stepping out with the girl behind him, his movements halting when he realizes you were still right outside.
You're like a deer in headlights staring up at him, lips parted slightly, the rest of your body unable to move.
Joost seems equally as stunned,
"Hey," He hesitates before he pushes his lips into a straight line, flicking his head upward, like he was greeting 'one of his boys', "What's up." It wasn't an apt way to greet you, but then again what was?
"Hi," You barely whisper out, your voice snuffed out by the sob that was scratching its way up your throat.
The hallway is silent for a moment, the girl looking between the two of you, oblivious and confused.
"Do you two know each other?" She giggles, damn her, even her voice is pretty, her laugh so infectious if you had heard it in any other context it surely would have brightened your day. She has an accent you can't exactly pin- German, maybe.
"Yeah," Joost caughs, "Yeah-um- she-" He can't seem to get the right words out as his gaze anxiously shifts between the two of you, not wanting to say too much to her, but not wanting to downplay your existence.
"Well, why don't you introduce us, silly," She smiles, swatting her perfectly french-manicured nails as Joost's chest. Her voice rings in your ears, silly, her acute flirtation bringing you dangerously close to tasting what you had for dinner.
"Uh-Right," Joost nods, "Right." He clears his throat, suddenly standing much taller now, much more assured of himself. He struggles to smile, "Lina this is y/n," He gestures towards you before moving his heads towards her, "Y/n this is Lina," He pauses for a moment, "My girlfriend."
Girlfriend.
The word echos in your ear. The hairs on the back of your neck stand up and your muscles tense.
Girlfriend.
It had seemed so soon, too soon, in fact that if you weren't so certain of how well you knew Joost you would have assumed this relationship had started before you had broken up with him.
"Girlfriend?" You try to chuckle, but your emotion is apartment, and your throat is far too dry, a scoff escaping your mouth instead, "Joost you fucking dog." Your lips curl up in a cruel smile, attempting to play your words off like a joke, but you and him both know you mean exactly what you said.
You divert your attention to the girl you now know as Lina, eyes narrowing slightly, failing at hiding your new found contempt for this random girl you had just met, "Good luck with this one, girl." You scoff once more at the absurdity of the situation before nodding, speaking slower this time, "Good luck."
Lina furrows her eyebrows, batting her long, mascara coated lashes, parting pink-glossed lips, looking for the right words to say, obviously confused.
"Good luck?" She repeats back to you, dumbfounded, on the cusp of realizing that you were far more than someone that Joost had "just knew".
"Yeah," You shrug, "Dating musicians-you know how they can be." You don't look at Lina as you talk, your eyes trained dead on Joost, "But I'm sure you won't need it." You lighten up, feigning nice, not yet drunk enough to actually go through with ruining a potential relationship for Joost.
"Oh," She smiles, "Sure." You can tell she's not entirely buying into your act, "And," She tilts her head in pretend sympathy, "I am so sorry, you walked in on that! Joost is such an animal sometimes, he cannot keep his hands to himself."
"Don't I know it." You nod slowly, biting at the inside of your cheek. You take the following few moments of silence as your cue to leave, the tension in that small hallway becoming suffocating.
You hadn't thought it was possible for your mind to race any faster than it did when you had first seen Joost with Lina tonight, but now your earlier thoughts had felt like slow motion compared to now. Girlfriend, you couldn't get the way Joost had said it out of your head.
Thinking about Joost having sex with another girl was heartbreaking enough, but with the potential of romance mixed in you wonder how you'll ever recover from tonight.
"I still can't fucking believe him," Julie throws up her hands, her frustration levels just about hitting yours as the two of you sit on some couch in the living room, a few more drinks deep. "The audacity for him to cry in your arms and beg you to change your mind about breaking up with him, for him to just have some new girl a month later."
"Right!" Your eyes widen, holding your hands up in front of you, "Like it was really that easy?"
"I'm going to kill him," Julie rolls her eyes, "Bringing your rebound around your ex so soon after breaking up is such a pig move."
"Total pig move," You concur, you pause for a moment, looking around, "Do you think I could homewreck their relationship?"
"Stop!" Julie giggles, "Don't be evil."
"I mean she was evil first, with her 'sorry you had to see that-Joost can't keep his hands to himself' bullshit." You bring your voice up a few pitches, making it whiny and obnoxious as you, perhaps unfairly, mock this girl you didn't even know. Had she even meant anything by that? By now you're convinced, convinced she had it out for you, like she didn't just become aware of your existence 30 minutes ago.
"Ugh!" Julie scoffs, "They're both evil, they were meant for each other."
"Totally."
"But yeah you could totally do some home wrecking." She shrugs, "Not that he even deserves you to try."
She's right. What good would hopping back into bed with Joost serve you?
"Right." You serve Julie a tight-lipped smile, "Think m'gonna get another drink."
"I'll be here," A wide grin on her lips.
Standing up from the couch you notice just how drunk you really were, the ground below you suddenly feeling unstable, like you were on a ship during a vicious storm. You try your best to retain your balance, your high-heeled shoes betraying you with each step forward.
Perhaps another drink was a bad idea, blacking out didn't seem like the greatest way to end your night. But then again, right now anything seemed better than being emotionally burdened with the antics of your ex-boyfriend, even if it meant getting drunk past the point of no return.
One more drink couldn't hurt.
You didn't remember the kitchen being such a far walk away, feeling like you were fighting against the crowd, against the music, against yourself just to get there.
You don't think you have the stomach for another mixed drink in its entirety, instead, once you make it to the kitchen, you opt to fix yourself a shot of whatever cheap vodka had been left out on the counter. Shaky fingers grab the mostly-empty bottle, pouring the clear liquid into the plastic cup you had been carrying around with you for half the night.
It's a little more than a shot, maybe a lot more that winds up in the cup- who knows? Your brain wasn't exactly cut out for measuring right now.
You raise the lipstick-stained rim to your lips, tipping the cup back, the bitter taste of alcohol attacking your tongue, and burning its way down your throat. You set the cup back down on the counter with a fierce swing, the plastic crushing slightly under the force of your movement. Your eyes squeeze shut as your body floods with an uncomfortable warmth. You try to shake off the initial sting of the alcohol, leaning against the counter for a moment to get yourself back together.
You take a deep inhale in, preparing yourself for the walk back to Julie, your balance once against escaping you as you step away from the counter supporting your body.
You keep your eyes trained on the floor, watching your own movements so you can correct them if needed, ignoring the people that surround you. That strategy almost immediately proving to be not the right choice when your stomach collides with someone else's elbow. You stumble backwards, the sudden movement making you lose balance all together, your ankle buckling, giving out below you. You're able to keep yourself from falling over entirely, but not able to save yourself of the pain of your ankle rolling beneath you, a slight yelp escaping your lips as you falter, the hurt hitting you immediately.
"Holy shit watch where you're-" The person you had run into suddenly halts their chastising of you, a voice you could recognize anyways. Damn your luck- colliding into the person you wanted to see least or maybe most right now. "Fuck," Joost mutters, "Sorry." His tone suddenly changing when he realizes who had hit him, "Startled me." You notice the way his words slur slightly, apparently intoxicated too, though, clearly not to the degree you had been.
You don't bother to look at him, eyes still glued to your feet, trying to ignore the pain in your ankle.
"No, sorry." You mumble, "Was in your way." You're ready to run from the building screaming now, or at the very least flee the situation to go find Julie. You're about to walk away, putting one foot forward, your body weight balanced onto the ankle you had just rolled. If you had been sober you probably would have managed to walk on it, but it seemed impossible now. You wince as the pain shoots through your foot, head finally flicking up, allowing you to get a look at Joost.
Damn him, he looked good. It was almost dark enough that you could ignore the pink sheen on his lips, you'd recognized the color, Lina's lipgloss apparently. Though, the lighting did little to hide the rough purple patches on his neck, glaring, obvious, letting everyone know just what he had been up to before he came here.
"You okay?" He asks, looking down at your feet, surprisingly concerned for the situation.
"Mmm," You hum, trying to press your weight back on your injured ankle, face immediately twisting as the pain hits your nerves once more, "M'okay."
"You don't have to lie," He chuckles, he seems so nonchalant, way more than you are, you don't understand it, talking like there was barely any history between the two of you, "I'll help you to the couch."
"No." You say plainly, forgetting to think of anything to say after that, fuck. You stare blankly at Joost for a moment, brain reeling.
"This doesn't have to be weird, you know?" Joost shakes his head, clearly a little uncomfortable under your un-breaking eye contact.
"It's weird."
"You're making it weird." That was probably true, but the nature of the situation was weird, how could you not make it such?
"You're weird."
"Just let me help you to the couch." He sighs.
"Fine." You concede, "So patronizing." As sick as the sight of him was making you now, you knew there was something in you that wanted his help- for him to put his arm around you once more, for maybe the last time- and care enough to want to make sure you're in the least amount of pain possible.
"Come on," Joost says, extending his free arm, a beer bottle held tightly in his opposite hand.
As if you weren't dizzy enough, you could lose all consciousness when he touches you, his side pressed snuggly to yours, arm tightly around your torso, his grip is firm. The second his skin touches yours you're flooded with memories, brain clouded by all the good times the two of you had had. You missed this, the reassurance of his touch, the feeling of being close to someone.
"You good?"
"Yeah." You mumble, "Good." You're nowhere near it, on the verge of tears again, the alcohol no longer inhibiting your emotional reactions despite how much more inebriated you are now. You shouldn't have let him do this, shouldn't have let him this close knowing damn well you're not the one he's going home with tonight, and you never again will you be.
"Good."
You begin your short walk over to the couch, trying to step as lightly as you can on your injured ankle each time you bring it forward.
"If it hurts too much I can carry you," Joost chuckles. Again, so nonchalant, like there's no implications behind that, like that wouldn't completely and utterly fuck with your feelings.
"No," Focusing more on your destination so you can finally get off your aching ankle.
Julie seemed to have disappeared off somewhere, her I'll be here statement clearly not meaning much. Not that you didn't expect as much, she'd have a habit of wandering when drunk.
"Thanks," you say shortly to Joost once you reach the couch, wiggling out of his grasp, as much as you don't want to.
You expect him to turn around and leave, but he doesn't, instead he sits himself on the couch, patting the cushion next to him, beckoning you to sit.
You're hesitant, looking down at him for a moment before deciding to sit. You're an awkward distance apart from each other, sitting on complete opposite ends of the small couch, a sizable gap between the pair of you.
You stare straight forward, as does Joost, watching the party, unspeaking. You wonder why he's here with you, he shouldn't want anything to do with you, just as much as you shouldn't want anything to do with him.
"You been okay?" Joost suddenly asks, turning toward you.
"Yeah, good." You can't bring yourself to look at up, unable to look him in the eyes as you lie. "Different, I guess."
"Yeah," He pauses, "Different."
And that isn't a lie, things had been different, waking up in a bed filled with nobody but yourself- no one waiting for you when you got off a long shift, no one to call at night and talk incessantly about every detail of your day- different, lonely.
"You too?" You ask, "Good?"
"Yeah." He sounds so sure of himself, like things really are good. "I'm good."
"Where's-uh Lina?"
"Outside." Joost answers plainly, "Smoking a joint with some friends, I think."
"Why don't you join them?" His absence from his girlfriend seemed peculiar to you, you'd always seen him as the clingy type.
"Meeting friends," He sucks in a breath through barred teeth, resulting in a slight whistling sound as he sucks in, "Sounds intense right now."
"You don't want to meet your girlfriend's friends?" The girlfriend word doesn't taste right in your mouth. It's bitter, and you almost have to refrain from gagging as it leaves your mouth.
"Not right now."
"Then when?"
Joost doesn't respond, perhaps not enjoying your questioning of his new relationship. Though it was odd to you regardless. To you, Joost had always been the one boyfriend invited to girls night, or brunch with your girlfriends.
You slump back into the couch, continuing to watch the partygoers, obviously in much better spirits than you are. You lay your head against the back cushion of the couch, turning to your side, facing away from Joost, unable to bear anyone's excited, smiling faces any longer.
That familiar feeling of crippling loneliness had finally fallen back on you, crushing you under its enormous weight. At a party, and here you were, near blackout and on the verge of tears on the couch. You want out, but you're not quite sure how to get there. At least at home you can sulk in your misery without dozens of other people around you shoving their happiness in your face. God you are pathetic.
"There you are!" There's that pretty voice again, Lina. "I've been looking all over for you!" You don't bother to turn around, you know she's talking to Joost, expecting any minute now for her to rip him away from you. Not that she doesn't have every right to, you are not his girlfriend any more. "What are you doing?"
"I kind of made y/n twist her ankle," You hear Joost say, "So I went to help her to the couch."
"Oh," She giggles, "So clumsy- is she asleep?"
"Just drunk," Joost chuckles. "Very drunk." You don't like the way they're talking about you in the third person, it feels patronizing, like you aren't even fully there, like they can't even give you the time of day ask you themselves.
You hear Lina laugh again before speaking,
"You should come dance!"
"In a bit, let me finish my beer first, m'kay schatje?"
You find yourself forcing your eyes shut tight, wanting nothing more than to curl up in a ball and fold right into yourself hearing Joost call someone else such a term of endearment.
"Okay," She concedes softly, "Be quick! I'll miss you!"
After a few moments you deem it safe to look up, inferring that Lina has left and it's just you and Joost on the couch once more. You blink a few times, startled slightly when you finally turn to the side to see Joost had been staring straight at you. When your gaze meets his Joost's eyes widen, quickly looking away from you. This was weird. And you hated it more than anything.
You scan Joost for a moment, watching over his figure, noticing something peculiar,
"It's empty." You say plainly.
"Huh?" Joost furrows his eyebrows.
"The bottle." You stretch your fingers out, pointing towards the beer bottle in Joost's hands.
"So?"
"Said you'd go dance with your girly-friend when you're done." You hiccup, words slow, your tongue feeling like mush in your mouth.
"Okay?"
"Why'd you lie?" You ask, eyebrows lowering, eyelids forming a squint.
"I don't know." He shrugs, "Don't feel like dancing."
"Doesn't sound like you." A dry laugh leaves your throat, Joost, not dancing, that certainly wasn't like him. Joost had usually had trouble keeping still, always having to move whenever music was on, whether it was really playing around him or just in his head.
"Don't really feel like me." His voice is monotone, matter of fact, but it shows more emotion than he had all night.
"Sorry." You don't know what else much to say, just sorry, "You should dance with her, mmm prob'ly make her happy."
"What about you?" He looks over you, perhaps a little too intense for your liking, "Are you happy?"
"No," You respond plainly, without thinking much, not bothering to lie, "Party sucks. Think m'gonna leave."
"Good idea," He nods, and it stings a little. It's a good idea you leave? Does he want you to leave? Fuck. "Are you leaving alone?"
"Julie," You answer without context.
"Then that's a yes." The two of you well aware of Julie's drunk antics, how she'd wander off and make a whole new group of friends for a night.
"She's somewhere." You press your palm into the arm of the couch, stabilizing yourself so you can stand up. Almost immediately the room is spinning, and your vision is blurring- your injured ankle doing little to help you with your balance. Almost immediately you're falling right back onto the couch, the cushion bouncing beneath you as you hit the seat.
"Alright." Joost begins to stand up, "I'm taking you home."
"What?" You stare up at him, blinking up at him as you attempt to get your vision back.
"Look at you," He murmurs, "You're wasted." If he hadn't been speaking so softly you would have thought him to be angry with you. But he doesn't seem to be, just concerned.
"But Lina-"
"Is with her friends."
"You don't hav-"
"I am," You know you can't argue any further with him, nor do you really want to, part of you doesn't mind this, his concern for you, knowing that at least somewhere deep down he still cares, "Come on, up." Joost reaches out a hand for you to grab. It feels like the weight of the world is against you as you try to bring your hand forward to grasp onto Joost. But you manage to do it, his fingers firmly clasped around your wrist- pulling you up.
Joost doesn't relinquish his hold on you once you're up, instead he just moves to put his arm around your waist. If not for the nostalgic comfort of his touch, you're thankful for his support, knowing full well if he hadn't been holding onto you as like he was, you'd fall right back down again. You push your weight into Joost's side, letting him do most of the work to keep you upright.
"Mind staying with me tonight?" He asks, beginning to step forward, attempting to bring the two of you toward the door to leave, "I don't want you alone while you're so drunk."
Home? With Joost? You debate saying no, thinking maybe that was the right answer- who were you? Going home with the man you broke up with? Especially now that he had a girlfriend...
You can't really say no, you can't deny that you want to spend the night, and see if maybe, things would feel like they used to, you had to see it through.
"That's, 'kay." You slur, just ready to get out of there.
The Uber ride back to Joost's place had been nothing short of depressing, the two of you sat just about as far as humanly possible from each other. Which, admittedly was mostly your doing, facing your body away from Joost as you sat with your head pressed against the glass.
But now you were just glad to be somewhere other than the party, even if it was Joost's apartment.Joost's arm once again tightly wrapped around you to keep you from crashing down to your feet. Walking into Joost's apartment had felt like when you'd come back to your parents house for breaks in University, the distant warmth of memories of a happier, simpler time, reminding you of what used to be and how things have changed.
You're unsure of where to go, the walls of this home no longer as welcoming as they'd once been, feeling like you don't have the ability to roam like you'd used to.
"Tired?" He asks suddenly
"I think so." You mumble, unsure of the grogginess you feel is exhaustion, sadness, or intoxication, or a mix of all three.
"I'll help you get ready," He assures, "Think you left some stuff in the bathroom."
Joost's reminder that you had really fully removed your presence from your apartment, never bothering to come by and get your things, made you wonder if your memory still lingered here. Did he happen upon your things and remember the many nights and days you had spent here? Did he even notice at all?
Joost slowly walks you over to the bathroom, and you find yourself leaning against the sink, the counter helping you maintain your balance. Joost had been right, you had left some things at his house, finding a small package of makeup wipes under the sink. Perhaps for sober you this wasn't your ideal skincare routine, but for now it seemed perfectly adequate.
"I won't make you do it," Joost smiles, peeling back the cover of the package, and pulling out a wipe.
How often had you been here, usually unable to hold your liquor as well as Joost could, many nights spent with Joost looking after you when you'd had too much to drink. Though usually moments like these were filled with soft kisses and gentle I love you's- Joost musing at how beautiful he thought you were, something completely, and utterly missing from tonight.
Joost is gentle as he removes the makeup from your face, careful not to rub to hard as he swipes the wipe back and forth. You wonder if there's an undertone of intimacy to this, or if you're just drunk, but the way he has you leaned up against the sink, his hand on your waist to keep you stable, the two of you staring so intensely at one another. It all feels too intense.
"Close your eyes," Joost requests softly as he moves to take off your eye makeup. And you do so, lashes falling softly as he rubs over your lids. You can pretend now, with your eyes closed, for just a moment that everything is just like it used to be, you can slip away into your little fantasy where everything had worked out between you and Joost, and you had never had to make the hardest decision of your life to leave him.
Your eyes flutter open once Joost had finished taking off your eye makeup, blinking rapidly as you adjust to the bright white light of the bathroom once more.
"Almost done." He mumbles, placing the dirtied wipe on the counter.
Maybe still in your fantasy world you're unthinking when you place your hand on Joost's shoulder, his eyes darting to the side once your fingers graze him. He smiles slightly and halts his process of going for another wipe. You push your hand forward, letting the pads of your fingertips brush against the purple marks on Joost's neck.
You let your gaze linger on them, brain wandering about under what circumstances he'd gotten them, fingers absentmindedly drawing shapes over his skin.
"Stop that," Joost's voice is low, soft. "Don't need to see that."
"Hard not to." You hum, letting your hand drop back down to his shoulder.
"I know," He blinks a few times, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." You can't really appreciate his apology, a sorry not changing the fact now there's a girl other than you in his life.
"I am."
Things are silent for a moment between you, your ears filled with nothing but the sound of your own thumping heartbeat as you stare up at him. You can't tell if Joost has moved in closer to you, or if its your own lack of spacial awareness, but something is pulling you in, your neck craning toward him.
Joost tilts his head slightly, his eyes lingering on your mouth. You let your lips part, unsure of what is to come next. You feel his fingertips tighten on your waist, gripping at your flesh, his chest rising with a sharp inhale. He moves to almost dip down to reach your craning neck, almost like he's going to kiss you before he very suddenly pushes back, an uncomfortable chuckle filling the air.
"Um," He attempts to clear his throat, "Sorry, let me finish."
You feel the gaping hole in your heart grow, and you'd wondered if you'd come here with perhaps too much false hope. Stupid. You'd broken up with him, and here you were, expecting him to love all over you.
"I'll get you clothes." Joost nods, as he finishes up taking off your makeup. "And bring you to the bedroom."
Joost's leads you to his bed in the dark of his bedroom, motioning for you to sit down while he turned on the light and grabbed you something to wear.
Even more memories come flooding to you with the click of Joost's bedside lamp, the room bathed in a soft orange glow. You had probably spent more nights here than in your own room when you and Joost were together.
"This okay?" Joost sets some clothes down next to you. You lazily look through it, a black T-shirt and a pair of sweat shorts.
"Fine."
"Need help changing?"
"Don't think so."
"Okay," He nods, pulling his lips into a straight line, smiling slightly, "Don't worry I won't look."
"I don't care," Some strange part of you hoping he will look as you change, "Nothing you haven't seen before."
Joost simply steps away, heading back over to his dresser, presumably to find something else for himself to wear. You pull your shirt over your head, flinging it off somewhere in the room before replacing it with Joost's shirt. You slip your hand behind your back, up the back of the shirt, unclasping your bra, sighing as you do so, an acute relief as you slip the straps down your shoulders and shimmy out of it.
You go to bend down to take off your shoes, before stopping halfway, unable to handle the folded in half position in your drunken state, nausea creeping into you as your stomach touches your knees.
"Joost?" You ask softly, voice barely audible.
Joost turns around quickly, attention ripped from whatever he'd been doing.
"Can you help me with my shoes?" Your voice wavers, shy, like you're afraid to ask- and truthfully you are. You bite at the inside of your cheeks, painfully aware of how fast things had changed, never in your life did you think that you'd be apprehensive about speaking to Joost.
"Sure- of course." The floorboards creak under Joost as he walks over to you, getting down on his knees so he can help unbuckle the strap of your heels for you.
You stare intently at the top of his head, messy blonde strands pointing every which way. You picture yourself running your hands through it, feeling the strands under your fingertips, massaging the top of his head lovingly. You have to stop yourself from doing it, the familiarity of your surroundings combined with your drunken state- constantly having to remind yourself you're not his girlfriend anymore.
"You really thing I'm a dog?" He asks, slipping off your first shoe before pausing to stare up at you. He's asking like he really wants to know, though he was less a full grown dog now and more a puppy, looking up at you through big, blue wet eyes.
"Mhm," You hum, "Such a good boy." You giggle, lost in the way Joost looks at you, without thinking, running your palm over the top of his head like you'd pet a dog, messying his already unruly hair.
"Don't talk to me like that," Joost chuckles, "I'll cum."
"Ew," You wince, trying to stifle a laugh, pressing at Joost's chest with the ball of your foot as to push him away, "You're so gross."
"Mmm," Joost muses, "So you can smile,"
And that smile does linger on your face, for just a moment before Joost returns to taking off your shoes. You clench your jaw, sucking in a breath as Joost grabs the ankle you had injured. He quickly lets go,
"Sorry, sorry." He apologizes, letting his hand return a few seconds later, his touch lighter now. "Maybe I should take you to get that checked out in the morning."
"Maybe," You murmur, "Really hurts." The pain suddenly bringing you back to the reality of your situation.
"I'm sorry, lief- sorry." He coos, slipping off your shoe, "Can I get you something to take the edge off?"
You hardly notice the way he trips over his words, almost saying something he shouldn't have. Too focused on the prospect of actually being injured.
"Don't think so." You huff, "Know, you don't have t'do all this."
"Of course I do," Joost smooths a hand over your knee, shivers running down your spine as his touch brushes over you.
"Don't deserve it after-"
"Stop it." He immediately cuts you off, "You deserve this. And more, just sorry I'm showing you that so late."
You're not sure what to make of what Joost is saying, nor can you really make sense of his behavior. By now you've had enough of tonight, just wanting it over with.
"Just want to sleep." You don't bother responding to what Joost has said.
"Okay," Joost nods, standing up.
You shimmy awkwardly against the bed as you pull your skirt down your thighs, letting it fall down your legs once it reaches your knees, and kicking it off to the side. You don't bother to put on the shorts Joost had given you, preferring to not wear pants to bed.
Joost is standing next to the bed, bent over, peeling the comforter back from its made position so you can get under. You crawl up the length of the bed from where you had been sitting, laying down in the spot Joost had unmade for you.
"If you need anything I'll be on the couch." Joost says, pulling the blanket back over you, "Anything at all." You half expect him to finish tucking you in with a kiss and an I love you, but perhaps as much as you wish he would, those days were gone.
You let your head rest comfortably against the pillow, only humming at Joost's statement, ready to get some sleep. With another click the light is off.
"Goodnight," The floorboards creak once more as Joost heads towards the door, "Slaap lekker."
"Goodnight, Joost." You yawn.
You weren't sure how long you had been laying there restless, an hour, maybe more, maybe less. You couldn't sleep, unsure if your stomach was turning from liquor-induced nausea, or the never ending loop of you finding Joost and Lina making out in the bathroom that played every time you tried to close your eyes.
You're not sure what it is, but something is drawing you towards the light that peaks under Joost's bedroom door. You wonder if you should get up, see what Joost is up to, though you're sure he's probably passed out on the couch by now.
Though it doesn't matter much, you just need out of this bedroom. You rip the blankets off of you, the chill of the air around you hitting your exposed legs, causing you to shiver.
You're still vaguely intoxicated, evident by your dizziness as you sit up. You fling your legs over the side of the bed, careful as you step down on the ground, placing as little pressure as possible on your injured ankle as you teeter over to the bedroom door.
You stall for a moment as you touch your hand to the handle, inhaling before you finally make the decision to open the door. You peek your head from the room, then step out, feeling like a child walking to your parents bedroom to tell them you just threw up.
You peer out into the living room, noticing Joost is still awake, talking, on the phone you presume,
"Glad you got home safe," "Okay, goodnight schatje, yes, sleep well. Talk to you in the morning."
Right. Lina.
You quickly step away from the living room, hoping Joost hadn't noticed your presence. You tip-toe as fast as you can back to the bedroom, trying your hardest not to injure yourself further.
You collapse onto the bed, hot tears immediately beginning to spill out of your eyes. You shove your face into the pillow, trying to stifle your cries, your chest hiccuping as the tears continue to pour from your lash line. Tonight had been all too much, a complete, and utter mistake, truthfully you weren't ready for life after Joost, something you had barely thought of when you had decided to break things off.
You had thought things were supposed to get better after breaking off a toxic relationship, not worse. Yet here you were feeling just as low as the day you broke up, nothing had changed.
You're all too absorbed in your own emotions you don't notice when the door to the bedroom opens, a soft voice following,
"Did you need something?"
Shit. Joost. He had seen you enter the living room.
You sniff, raising your head from the pillow, thankful for the cover of the night not giving away your tear-stained face. You sniffle again, taking in a shallow breath as you try to speak.
"No-no m'okay." Your words are stuttered, clearly affected by your state.
"Are you crying?" He's suddenly concerned, and you feel the mattress dip next to you, presumably Joost sitting down on the bed.
Click. The light is on again.
The room is blurry, obscured by the heavy tears that hang from your lashes. You lower your head, quickly burying it in your hands to shield your face from Joost's view.
"C'mon," He urges. You feel his hands around your wrists, beckoning you to pull your hands from your face, "What's wrong?"
Reluctantly, you give into his touch, slowly lowering your hands from your eyes.
"Oh," Joost pouts, you're sure he's being nice, but right now it feels completely, and utterly patronizing, especially as you're crying about him and his new found relationship, "Why are you crying?"
"I'm so stupid," You sob, not having it in you to hold back your emotions anymore, "So stupid, Joost."
"No," He reaches out a hand, placing it on your shoulder, "Why do you think you're stupid?"
"Because," You choke, "Everything. Tonight. It's all stupid." You can't find the right words to tell him how you feel, knowing if you tried they would come out all wrong.
Suddenly Joost's hand on your shoulder turns into him bringing you into a hug, and pulling you onto his lap. You immediately bury your head into his neck, sobbing into the warmth of his skin.
Joost's grip is tight on you, holding you like you might leave him again, knowing you will.
You can barely find comfort in his touch, fearing how fleeting it will be.
"Crying because of me?" He asks like he already knows the answer, of course he knows the answer. You nod against him, holding him tighter, choking out a sob. Joost lets out a dry chuckle, "Not worth crying over. Wasting tears."
The idea of wasting tears had never made much sense to you, what were you meant to save them for? Something important? This was important, Joost was important, your relationship was important- and you had ruined it. That was worth crying over.
Joost rubs a hand up and down your back, trying his best to comfort you in your sorry state.
You want to yell at him, want to be angry at how he could have moved on and found someone else so quickly while you were stuck crying yourself to sleep at night. After all it had been his behavior that had lead to you breaking up, and still, he gets nothing for it? He just gets to walk away.
But you're too tired to be angry now. Not as you melt into him, his hand smoothing over the roots of your hair, his body gently moving back and forth, anything to relieve you of some of your misery.
All you can do is try to slow your breathing, try to regain some composure as you make your pathetic confession,
"Just so hard," You inhale sharply, anticipating your next words, "I still love you, I love you so much."
"I know," He sighs, pressing a kiss to your shoulder through the fabric of his own T-shirt, "I love you too."
a/n: haiii ^_^ long time no write.... i feel like for as angsty as the series is i haven't written straight up hb! au angst... so here we are... but be not afraid, i have another au! piece cooking up that is very much... not angst mwahhhahhah
#joost klein x reader#joost klein x f! reader#joost klein fic#joost klein fanfic#heartbeat! au#rpf#joost klein rpf
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There's a lot of reasonably frustrated but ultimately misdirected psa-style posting about how viewers NEED to start reblogging things rather than just liking them because that is the primary mode of post circulation on this site. The modern manifestation of this sentiment seems to miss the fact that, if you've been here for ~15 years, were here prior to, during, and after the exodus to the bird app, you already know that likes have always been more common than reblogs, that many people simply don't want to put your art on their blog, and that guilting end-users into using a microblogging site A Specific Way absolutely does not work. If it did, the trend would have shifted a decade ago. Because this conversation really is that old. Regardless, the modern discourse of how difficult it is to be Seen specifically on Tumblr isn't productive because I think it ultimately misses the reason being an artist online feels so Bad, now.
The social media era has funneled Looking At Stuff on the Internet into an economy of engagement that encourages end-users to treat everything we/they see as quick, cheap, and disposable. This is just another fun and flirty way that capitalism devalues art. It's nothing new. Trying to force masses of users to behave in a way that is healthier for the circulation of art isn't going to do anything to solve the discontent we all feel when we hurl something into the void and it is ultimately ignored. I swear up and down: A higher notes number won't feel better, either. Popularity is just as demoralizing as radio silence, but it manifests differently. Instead of 4 likes and maybe 1 reblog from Old Faithful Mutual, you get a horde of people who treat you like a content machine. You keep hoping for an impossibly Bigger Number. The notifs on the first Big Number Post haven't even settled, and people are already asking when the follow-up is coming. You get anons, but most of them are trying to passively convince you to give them More Content.
It's really, really hard to make people care about art. If there was a silver bullet for making the average person appreciate the enormity of human effort behind every beautiful thing they encounter, we would have found it centuries ago.
The best thing creatives can do for their lives online is to be friendly, or at least kind, with other creators. "Big" artists don't form in-groups because they're snobs. They find each other because they casually showed each other support, and their mutual appreciation for that Thing that wound them up in the same tag becomes a foundation for connection, and in many cases, the ever-illusive Bigger Audience as they introduce themselves to each others' circles. We get more eyes on our work by building community with each other.
Where does that leave people who are just here to look at things, not post them? I think the answer is almost identical: COMMENT!! Please, comment! The first step to engaging with art on a more meaningful level is to point out something you particularly enjoy about a given work. It can go in the replies, it can go in the tags, doesn't matter!! If you notice some symbolism or make some connection, there is all likelihood that OP put it there because they desperately wanted somebody to notice it. Let them know why you like it!
Reaching for the nebulous, impossible goal of better post circulation isn't going to make being a creator online in 2023 suck less. Meaningfully connecting with each other can, will, and does. You can make someone's day just by passingly letting them know that their effort is worth more than a number.
#budgetalks#I got to thinking about this because of fanfic actually#the proportion of comments to kudos ESPECIALLY on popular fics bums me out#especially when you open the comments and half of them are people asking for more
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