take a break comfort drabble ♡
#taekookau;
"it's okay," jungkook whispers his words into taehyung's hair. "i promise. it's okay to take a break."
taehyung tiredly mumbles, "but the exam is in a few days and—"
jungkook sucks in a trembling breath. "baby, please. please take a break. everything will be okay."
the world is quiet outside. exam season means no parties. it means stress added upon stress, and stress can be the difference between grades slipping or climbing up another step.
it means late-night study sessions and surviving on 3-minute ramen until the highlighters run out, because then, they'd have to go to the convenience store. jungkook is always the first to volunteer to buy more; study necessities are very important to him.
sometimes, he comes back with frozen pizzas or sushi. but neither of them have time or money to eat out during finals.
but if jungkook takes his studies seriously — aims for nothing less than a B+, then taehyung throws his whole life into it.
A after A lines his grades in bold red ink, and jungkook is always so unbelievably proud of him, but taehyung... he's never pleased enough.
it makes him a machine during exams. studying for hours on end with no breaks, eating the pizzas frozen because heating them up for 15 minutes is too long.
falling asleep on his papers, studying 2 subjects at a time, nose always buried in some textbook.
it's worrying, this constant cycle of diving headfirst into studying relentlessly. then, the aftermath —burn-outs, hair falling out from stress, weight fluctuating because of unhealthy eating habits.
it becomes too much. always too much, and it breaks jungkook's heart everytime.
"jungkook, i'll be fine." sitting on the couch, curled up on jungkook's lap with his papers strewn about around them, taehyung continues, "i need to revise a bit more, then i'll sleep. i think."
"taehyung, you literally collapsed."
"just didn't have enough water. 'm okay."
"no, you're not," jungkook whispers. "you're not, baby."
it all happened 20 minutes ago. jungkook woke up to an empty bed, taehyung's side cold and untouched.
he'd gone to the kitchen for a glass of water, all the while missing the warmth of his cuddle bear.
as if on cue, taehyung stumbled in after him.
"hey, babe," taehyung said.
jungkook stared. taehyung was here, why wasn't he in bed? "tae?"
"how was your day?"
"tae, why aren't you asleep?"
"i'll come to bed later."
"tae, baby. you need sleep."
taehyung smiled, dark circles under his eyes. "i'm not tired, trust me."
then, out of nowhere, taehyung's legs buckled. like a marionette being cut from the strings, taehyung fell to the floor, and jungkook nearly lost his damn mind.
he picked his cuddle bear up and brought them over to the couch.
shoved all the papers and textbooks off, collapsed onto it with his mind spinning, heart hammering in his chest, and laid taehyung carefully over his lap.
then, jungkook held taehyung tightly until he woke up.
but upon waking, all taehyung did was yawn sleepily and thank jungkook.
then, he tried to go back to studying.
studying. as if he hadn't just collapsed on their kitchen floor at 3AM.
jungkook is scared out of his mind. he's scared and worried, and he holds taehyung tighter.
"you can keep revising after some sleep, babe. you've been studying non-stop this week."
"jungkook—"
"and you're not fine. i can see it. you're tired. baby, your mind is so tired." he leans his head on taehyung's shoulder, eyes closing tiredly. "why do you keep doing this?"
taehyung turns to him. jungkook looks up, meets his eyes. more prominent now are taehyung's dark circles, the sharper contour of his face.
the smile he gives jungkook is bright — so fucking bright and it touches jungkook's heart like a flood of sunshine, but it's tired. dimming.
"hey, i just need to get 90+ on this exam. then i'll take a break."
"you'll be studying for the exam after."
"but there'll be a small break in between."
"taehyung, you're literally falling apart in front of me. how do you not see that?"
taehyung sighs. "baby. i'm not tired."
stubborn. taehyung is so stubborn.
jungkook gaws on his bottom lip before saying, "taehyung, i want to say a few things. you can choose to listen or not. but, i think it needs to be said because i love you. i love you so fucking much, it hurts to see you like this."
taehyung stills. "...okay."
"you're not okay. taehyung, baby, i don't think you're okay. you might feel fine — whatever that feels like to you, but you literally just collapsed in our kitchen and i'm scared out of my fucking mind."
taehyung's eyes widen.
jungkook continues. "this past week, i have barely seen you get food except when i bring it to you and stay there until you eat it. the water bottle in your room is always full. you pull all-nighters to keep studying and nap for 30 minutes in the day."
taehyung nods slowly. because it's true.
it's all true, and jungkook has been watching it happen before his eyes, heart breaking piece by piece everytime taehyung stumbles to the couch for a nap or forgets to eat.
"the world will keep spinning if you take a break. i promise it'll be okay, baby. your body is precious, your mind hasn't stopped working in days. you need to look after yourself."
jungkook runs a hand through taehyung's hair. taehyung closes his eyes and leans into the touch.
"sometimes, i think about it all, how small we really are in this world. one test mark isn't worth the price of your mental health. baby, nothing is. for you, nothing should come first except yourself."
"but what if my academics is tied to my mental health?"
"then one thing needs to change — your standards for your academics, or your standards for your mental health. would you rather get high grades and break your mind to pieces, or lower grades but at least you can smile through it all?"
taehyung hesitates.
"for me," jungkook continues, "i would rather you fail every course with a big smile on your face. fail every damn thing and laugh about it. fail it all, but at least you got to enjoy life. because you can re-take courses, but you can't take back moments in life."
taehyung sighs and leans back into him, back against jungkook's chest. he lowers his papers to his lap.
"i just— i stress so much about the future. about what'll happen if i have to re-take the course, or the exam. that costs money. i don't— not everyone has that kind of money."
"then do well enough that you don't have to re-take it."
taehyung huffs out a tired laugh. "you're confusing me here, babe."
"when i said i'd rather you fail, i didn't mean i think you should aim to fail," jungkook says, "just that if your ultimatum is between failing an exam or failing to protect your own mental health, i'd rather you fail the exam. but i still want to see you succeed and thrive and feel so damn proud of your marks. study, pass, but don't give up yourself for it. i just want to see you happy."
"how? how can i do that?"
"boundaries, baby," jungkook murmurs, "study hard and study well, but set boundaries to it. 30 minute blocks of study, then a break. snacks while studying. water. have days where you don't study in the week. go easier on yourself. please, be gentle to yourself."
taehyung leans his head back on jungkook's shoulder, eyes fluttering shut. "how do you know so much about this?"
"you. i look at you and i think, i want him to be happy," jungkook says. "and... i may have done a little research."
"research?"
"yeah. study tips."
taehyung smiles. "you're cute. you researched this just for me?"
"well, yeah. i wanted to fight for my case, i needed evidence, your honour."
"and do you think you've managed to convince me?"
"i think that's for you to decide, isn't it? what's the verdict?"
"the verdict is..." taehyung opens his eyes, gaze bleary as he looks at jungkook. "i'm tired. i think... i think i want to go to sleep."
"okay." jungkook smiles, presses a kiss to his cheek. "that's it, baby. i just— i just want to do one more thing."
"hm?"
"close your eyes again, please," jungkook says. when taehyung does so, he continues, "count down from 30 when i say so, and i'll tell you a few things to remember when you find yourself falling back into this self-destructive slump. okay?"
"'mkay, koo."
"start counting... now." jungkook leans his forehead on taehyung's shoulder, closing his eyes. "you're fucking brilliant. so beautiful, inside and out, and you don't need exams and grades to reflect that. you're more than those numbers. more than rankings in a system."
taehyung's breath stutters. jungkook forges on.
"every result you get on an exam, i'll be so proud of. i'll shout it from the tallest rooftops and kiss you so goddamn silly, even if there's a fail stamped across the whole thing in bright red, 'cause you tried your best."
taehyung mouths the numbers. 18, 17, 16.
"the important thing is that you try your best. that's more than enough. you try your best in exams and all of that, sure. but try your best to take care of yourself, that's more important. you're more important. i cherish you so much."
jungkook leaves a kiss on taehyung's shoulder.
"and if you're disappointed in your results, you find yourself hating it, just know that i'll love you hard enough to make the world shake. bad results aren't the be all, end all. you can pick your grades back up in the next task. it's okay to be disappointed in results. that's normal. that will happen. but you know the way to get through that? have a strong enough mindset and coping mechanism to do so, and, cuddle bear, you can't do that with a tired, struggling mind."
taehyung counts down the last seconds under his breath.
"and in the times that you're proud of your score, i'll be so goddamn happy for you. happy /with/ you. i'll kiss you all over. i'll pick you up, spin you around, and the world won't seem so bad."
3, 2...
"just know that whatever happens, it's okay to take a break. okay to breathe, okay to fail. you're important."
1.
"i love you with all the love my heart can hold, and you're so important to me, my cuddle bear. my taehyungie."
0.
the first tear drops from taehyung's eye.
jungkook kisses it away. "when you find yourself falling back into this pattern, just remember that, 'kay?"
"okay," taehyung whispers shakily. "i'll remember."
"good." jungkook holds him tighter. his heart feels lighter. "i'm glad."
"jungkook..."
"hm?"
taehyung's voice is tentative and soft, bursting at the seams with fondness when he whispers, "want to go to sleep now?"
there are papers strewn all about them. some half-filled, unanswered equations, a textbook with pages marked all over. taehyung isn't done studying, but he wants to sleep.
he wants to take a break.
finally. finally, he's ready to take a break. a rest.
taehyung finds jungkook's hand curled around his waist and holds it, locking their fingers together.
jungkook feels something lodge in his throat. his voice comes out raw, rough at the edges when he whispers, "yeah, baby. let's go to sleep."
—
[a/n: here's a little drabble from me to start off the year. it's inspired by me and my own silly study habits, and i wrote it to remind myself of how to take care of myself when university gets hard.
but i also know that a lot of you beautiful people on here struggle when exams come around. so, this is a reminder to you, too — take breaks. it'll be okay, i promise. and if you get bad marks, that's okay, too. the world will keep spinning, and you can keep going. you can keep fighting :]
please remember this when exam season gets hard 💕
come talk to me on retrospring!
the twitter post~
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