#t:chapter

[qobiin]

when i fill them, they’ll shine forever | ch 6

pairing: todobakudeku (bakugou x midoriya x todoroki) 

genre: fluff, angst | abo au, canon-compliant 

warnings: swearing, trans male character, mild canon-typical violence, mentioned child abuse, implied non-con, misgendering, endeavor 

word count: 4118

summary: Katsuki being an omega from birth changes a few things. 

chapter six of when i fill them, they’ll shine forever 

"If you're here to give me some sympathetic speech or some shit, I will kill you, Pinkie," Katsuki spits over his shoulder.

"Eh?" Pinkie startles, scrambling to compose herself as Katsuki turns to look at her. "I have no idea what you mean."

Katsuki narrows his eyes at the way she nervously scratches the back of her head, her smile much too wide to be genuine. Pinkie scuffs the toe of her shoe against the floor, her arms dropping to her sides so she can play with the ends of her school jacket. Her scent is as sweet as any other omega’s but there is a sour aftertaste to it that makes Katsuki wrinkle his nose in distaste.

"What the fuck do you want? I have places to be," Katsuki says as he crosses his arms over his chest.

He doesn’t know anything past a few of his classmates’ quirks, much too busy with bettering himself and challenging his mates to give a shit about anyone else. Shitty Hair and Pikachu are showing some potential since they have enough of a backbone to socialize normally with him instead of fearfully or putting him on a pedestal. Most of the others will be unimportant to his story in the long run and Katsuki isn’t usually the type to write people off so soon, but Pinkie herself hasn’t impressed him in the least. 

“I just um-” Pinkie flushes, fingers twining together nervously. “All the girls wanted to thank you.”

Katsuki frowns, suddenly confused. As far as he knows, none of the girls want to be within two feet of him. He has no idea why they would want to thank him for something.

The only thing he can think of that would be spoken about is the Perverted Grape incident that happened earlier that day. Katsuki is waiting for Deku to finish talking to Glasses, Todoroki already having left a few minutes before. He wants to go to Deku’s and gorge himself on Auntie Inko’s cooking while he avoids going home where his mom will scream for blood and his dad will flutter nervously around him for the rest of the weekend. He already had Glasses, Hundred Arms, and Shitty Hair try to comfort him in their own shitty ways about Perverted Grape, he doesn’t need any more of this crap today.

“What the fuck is this about?” Katsuki asks, glaring down at Pinkie. “You have five seconds to speak or I’m walking away. One.”

“Thankyouforgettingridofmineta!” Pinkie shouts, bowing at the waist once before she runs away.

Katsuki scoffs as he watches her leave. “As if I did it for any of you.”

“Did what, Kacchan?” Deku’s voice pipes up behind him.

“Nothing, you shit nerd. Let’s go already,” Katsuki grumbles, barely even reacting to Deku’s sudden appearance.

His alpha’s scent is more familiar to him than his own so if Deku really wants to startle him, he is going to have to work harder than that.

Katsuki takes Deku’s hand and leads the way towards the train station, already imagining all the dishes his Auntie Inko will prepare. Deku follows behind him quietly, not having to say a word for Katsuki to understand his alpha will always support him.

The sports festival is turning out to be fucking boring.

Katsuki delivered his "speech" before the first challenge began, which was really just him pointing out a fact by stating that he and his mates were going to mop the floor with all of them. No need for everyone to get their fucking panties in a twist at the truth.

They had taken one look at the mouth of the tunnel before both his mates grabbed hold of Katsuki’s arms and held on tight as he shot them over the other students piling up beneath them. Many yells and shouts had followed them but Deku only whooped as they came out of the other side and got their first glimpse of the obstacle course prepared for them. 

The zero pointers from the entrance exam rose up to greet them but Todoroki froze one and Katsuki blew up the one beside it at Deku’s request. Deku had grabbed a stray piece of the now broken robot as they flew over it while Todoroki directed ice back at the other students to cut their competition in half. At the pit, Todoroki made more ice to make them a path straight across and Katsuki used more of his blasts to ski them over the pit in no time at all. 

By that point Katsuki and Todoroki had practically ruined the obstacle course as they held Deku between them, all three of them keeping first place easily. Then Deku had pulled himself away from them at the third obstacle, dropping onto his knees to dig at the edges of the landmine before Katsuki got the memo. Together, they dug up the explosives and put them in a pile together.

Todoroki had just enough time to grab Deku's shirt and Katsuki climbed onto his alpha's back as Deku held up the piece of the robot that he had nabbed earlier. His alpha then slammed it into the explosives and all three of them were thrown into the air, sliding past the finish line easily and more importantly, together.

The second challenge hasn't been that big of a challenge either actually. Katsuki grudgingly allows Round Face to join their team after Deku brings up his plan and when the countdown begins, Todoroki makes ice appear in a circle around them while Round Face slaps her hands on the backs of Katsuki’s mates before pressing her fingertips together with a determined look in her eyes. Katsuki settles Deku on his shoulders and waits until Todoroki and Uraraka have grabbed hold of his alpha’s arms to shoot them up in the sky. More yells and shouting follows them but Katsuki ignores it. He knows they are not breaking the rules through anything but a technicality and while last year, he would be enraged about using such a cheap tactic to win, now he only cares to shield his mates from any harm that may befall them. 

Despite the lack of a real fight, their team is doing exceptionally well by staying out of other students’ grasps. The only time anyone gets near enough to almost ripping the headband worth a million points off Deku's head, Todoroki's left side erupts with the barest lick of flames before his ice overcomes some random girl’s vines. Katsuki felt the almost unbearable heat of Todoroki’s fire tease the back of his hand as he prepared himself to power off an explosion and can't help the sharp intake of breath that he takes through his teeth at that moment.

Which is why he is only slightly surprised when Todoroki asks him and Deku for a word in private during the lunch break. Once the break is over, all the stupid extras will then ready themselves for the games UA's staff has prepared for the losers who didn't make it to the final round so technically, they have a longer break than most. Katsuki exchanges a not-so-subtle glance with his alpha before he nods and allows Todoroki to lead the way.

As soon as they are alone, Todoroki tells them his life story. 

All of it. 

The quirk marriage. The forced mate bond. The breeding. The training he began at age four. His mother losing her grip on sanity. The isolation from his siblings and peers alike. The abuse he has withstood ever since then. The resentment and anger Todoroki has carried for countless years. The determination to never use the quirk he inherited from his father.

Every single, excruciating detail has Katsuki's blood boiling and his hackles rising. His body calls for blood, the need to defend and fight and tear limbs apart almost overcomes him.

He doesn’t understand how a parent can look at the life they helped bring into this world and not want to protect them with all their power. Deku has an idea if his claim of not being All Might’s secret love child can be believed, but Katsuki has never faced that misfortune. Not even his coming out impacted the relationship he had with his parents much - not in the way that most would expect anyway. Katsuki does not understand and he never will but he does understand that what both his mates’ fathers have done and are doing now is wrong.

Wrong and awful and horrible. Downright evil in Todoroki’s case. That is more than enough to warrant Katsuki’s bloodlust. He’s sure his parents would understand why he murdered the Number Two Hero anyway. Auntie Inko most definitely would. Hell, probably Yagi-san too, especially considering the way he dotes on Deku. 

Regardless, Katsuki has already made up his mind.

"I am going to fucking kill him," Katsuki spits out between clenched teeth, his hands smoking and curled into tight fists at his sides. "No, no. I am going to destroy him! I'm gonna rip off his balls and feed them to him! I'm gonna hold my hands over his skin and see how well he likes getting burned!"

Katsuki continues, his methods of torture growing more grotesque and painful as he does, all while ignoring the surprised and somewhat wary look on Todoroki's face. Deku is silent beside him, but his scent tells Katsuki enough.

Their alpha is angry. 

Deku is trembling, his eyes flashing gold and hands curled into fists as well. The air around them reeks of ozone and Katsuki feels the ridiculous urge to sneeze. Todoroki’s gaze keeps flickering between the two of them, unsure of who needs his attention more: his alpha who is rapidly losing his grip on his control or his omega who is ranting about every which way he will harm his father.

"Aren't you going to tell me that killing is bad and I don't know what other fucking nonsense you preach and shit?" Katsuki asks when Deku's scent sours enough to bother him. "I'm gonna murder the Number Two Hero, you fucking nerd. Shouldn't you stop me?"

Say something, Katsuki doesn’t plead aloud. Say you agree. Say you’re with us, no matter what.

Deku tenses all at once then sighs, his body going lax as he closes his eyes and leans his head back on the wall behind him. "If it was anybody else, literally anybody else, I would say yes."

Katsuki smirks, the edges of it sharp enough to cut. "But?"

"Not in this case," Deku finally says, his scent still angry and now frustrated.

"I am fully capable of killing that bastard, you know," Katsuki continues, eyes flickering between both of his mates. "I could go and murder him right now and I would be glad to be thrown into jail for it. My parents would probably throw a fucking party."

Todoroki looks at him like he's insane, but Katsuki ignores him. He focuses on Deku instead, watching the corners of his mouth twitch with a smile, the sour anger in his scent slowly starting to bleed away.

"I know, Kacchan," Deku agrees, opening his eyes which have now returned to their normal color and leaving Katsuki horrified as they start to water.

Katsuki bites his lip, looking back at Todoroki again who is staring open-mouthed at Deku in shock. "Do you want me to?"

He means it as a question for them both but it is Deku who answers. "Yes, but you shouldn't. People would paint you as a villain and that's not who you are, Kacchan.”

“Shut the fuck up, Deku,” Katsuki bites back but there is a smile on his face and no heat in his words.

“Okay,” Deku replies with a tired smile.

Katsuki pivots to stare at Todoroki, pinning his beta with his gaze alone. “And you, you bastard, come here!”

“Are you going to kill me?” Todoroki asks as he stands up straight, his spine probably in pain due to how quickly he came to attention.

Katsuki's grin turns sharp once more. “If you Order me again, then yes, but just get your ass over here already! ”

“Wait, you Ordered Kacchan?” Deku asks, head swiveling between them both in confusion.

"Twice, the fucking shithead!” Katsuki admits.

Deku's eyes turn flinty before they soften once more. "You must have a death wish, Todoroki-kun. Please, don't ever do that again."

Katsuki huffs, crossing his arms over his chest as he glares at his alpha. "I don't need you to defend me, fucking Deku!"

"I know," Deku murmurs, "but sometimes, you want me to and I don't really appreciate the fact that someone would Order you, even if he's our mate, Kacchan. Todoroki-kun, seriously, don't do that again."

"Shut up, Deku," Katsuki spits out at the same time that Todoroki says, "I won't Order you again, Bakugou-kun."

"Good," Deku huffs as Katsuki moves closer until he can sling an arm over his alpha and tuck him into his side. "Now get over here. We're going to scent you so your father knows he'll have plenty of things to explain the next time I smell him on you."

Katsuki nods sagely. "Deku will destroy him."

"Why would he do that?" Todoroki looks at Deku like he can't imagine the alpha going toe-to-toe with his dipshit of a dad, but Katsuki knows better. And Todoroki should know better too after what happened the week before in the locker room's bathroom.

"Because you're our mate, you fucking bastard," Katsuki growls, reaching out and grabbing hold of Todoroki's arm before he drags him closer. "We'll end anyone who fucking hurts you. You're mine now and I don't like it when people touch my things. I beat the shit out of anybody who dared to lay a hand on my alpha and I'll beat the shit out of anyone who hurts my beta too."

Deku smiles at Todoroki from underneath his arm, his scent calmer and steady like before. "Don't worry about it, Todoroki-kun. Kacchan is just really overprotective. You'll grow used to it."

Todoroki is stiff underneath Katsuki's hand, but, slowly, he starts to relax as well. He leans into Katsuki's side and lays his two-toned head against Katsuki's shoulder. On his other side, Deku does the same, mirroring their mate. They stand there for a moment, huddled up in each other's warmth as they allow their scents to slide across one another, mingling and intermixing. Katsuki is certain that no one is going to speak for some time yet, so he's slightly surprised when Deku does.

“Your quirk is your own, Todoroki-kun.”

“Hm?” Todoroki hums in response, his head shifting against Katsuki’s shoulder.

Deku leans forward until even Katsuki is having difficulties keeping his eyes on them. “Your fire is your own. Everyone else here is using a hundred percent of what they’ve got to make it. It would be wrong of you to do this with only half.”

Todoroki stills in Katsuki’s embrace, expression shifting until his face is blank once more. Katsuki can physically see all the walls Todoroki is putting up again and he cannot have that.

“We can talk about that later, you little shits,” Katsuki cuts in. “Deku, seriously not the fucking time.”

His beta’s scent pulses for one short breath before it calms, Deku oblivious to it all as he starts to say, “Todoroki-kun should work with a hundred percent of what he has too, Kacchan! Otherwise-”

"Shouto."

"Huh?" Deku asks, like a fucking idiot as if Todoroki's intentions aren't clear enough.

Todoroki only blinks at him though, his scent still remaining calm and focused. "You can both call me Shouto."

Deku brightens considerably, his smile like the sun breaking through a heavy layer of overcast while he pushes the quirk issue off to the side for now. "Ah, well you can call me Izuku and Kacchan Katsuki!"

"No, he can't," Katsuki scowls.

"Yes, he can," Deku replies instantly, his smile never faltering. "Go sulk another time, this is loving and supporting our mate hours right now!"

Katsuki can't help the startled laughter that escapes him, but he lets it run its course when Deku only brightens even further at the sound and Todoroki relaxes against him again. "Shut the fuck up, Deku. That meme is as old as balls."

Deku's grin only grows bigger, the edges curving dangerously but he says nothing and wraps his arms around Katsuki's waist. Todoroki too settles further into their warmth, his scent now laced with a dash of content.

From the corner of his eye, Katsuki can see the hint of a smile on his beta's face. The sight alone does weird things to his heart that he promptly ignores in favor of enjoying the company of his mates.

Deku and he run into Endeavor before starting their second fight in the third challenge and Katsuki wonders how the Flaming Piece of Shit got out of there alive.

Considering that All Might was also present, Katsuki is doubly confused about how Endeavor is still breathing.

“Come on,” Katsuki spits as he drags Deku out the door. “Fuck everything else and focus on this stupid match. If you let your quirk break you again, dipshit, I’m taking our beta in the divorce.”

Katsuki isn’t happy at all about the team matches but considering that there are many mated students in the sixteen contestants left for the third challenge, he supposed that it made some lick of sense. Not that he’s going to admit that out loud anyway.

Deku laughs, following behind Katsuki willingly, but his smile dies as they round the corner and run into the last person either of them wanted to see.

They have seen the Number Two Hero plenty of times on television and social media. Katsuki thought he was pretty average looking when he was younger but at that moment he is ugly beyond belief. His facial hair is made up completely of fire and spare bits of it run through his hair. He is tall and in his hero suit but there is nothing about him that shows he is a hero in Katsuki’s eyes.

Instead of the mild admiration Katsuki used to feel for this man, all he can focus on is the hate and rage that’s building up quickly within him.

“So you’re the alpha who’s staked a claim on my son,” Endeavor says like he never expected anybody to try and interfere with the plans he had forced upon his child’s shoulders.

Katsuki bares his teeth at him, forcing himself to stay silent. Endeavor’s eyes linger on Deku’s arm where he is grabbing hold of his alpha. His gaze flickers to Katsuki briefly, looking him up and down as if he is a piece of meat being put on display at the market before he focuses back on Deku. Katsuki can’t help the cold disgust that rolls down his spine when the Flaming Piece of Shit’s eyes are no longer on him. Deku shifts beside him in response, subtly putting himself in front of Katsuki to shield him from view.

“And you’re Shouto’s father,” Deku points out, the anger in his voice plain for anyone to hear.

Endeavor’s brows raise up for a moment before his face settles back into its usual scowl. “Your omega. She’ll do fine but if you don’t prove you are the best alpha around, neither of you get to have him.”

Deku growls and the overbearing scent of ozone fills up the hallway. Katsuki holds onto his alpha tighter while allowing his lips to curl back and make his snarl look more aggressive.

“You don’t decide that for him,” Deku snaps. “And don’t refer to Kacchan as a girl. He will rip out your tongue for such disrespect.”

Endeavor’s gaze flicks back towards Katsuki at this and Katsuki snaps his teeth at him, wanting nothing more than to do just that.

Shouto had told them about all the awful crap his father had done but this - what he just said - takes the fucking cake. Katsuki wants to let go of his alpha and watch him tear into this arrogant beta until there is nothing recognizable left. He doesn’t though because he isn’t stupid and the only person allowed to go to jail is him, but the idea itself is still very tempting.

Fortunately, Yagi-san’s smell rises up behind them announcing his presence. Katsuki doesn’t look back to see his arrival, not trusting Endeavor enough to take his eyes off him but he does smell it when Yagi-san realizes what is going on. It would have been difficult not to, considering Deku is sending out angry and agitated alpha pheromones for everyone in the entire building to smell. Even the lowliest beta with the worst sense of smell would be able to tell that Katsuki’s alpha is in distress.

Within two seconds, Katsuki is facing the broad back of the Number One Hero. All Might is in the shifted form he uses for public appearances and has his arms extended by his sides in a way that appears natural but effectively blocks them both. The fact he did this in a way that did not draw any attention to them at all is only another reason why Katsuki immediately begins to calm down when All Might appeared.

“Endeavor, what are you doing to my students?” All Might rumbles, acting as if he had not stumbled over the end of his question.

Katsuki can no longer see the expression on Endeavor’s face but he can hazard a guess about it well enough. “Wishing them luck.”

All Might’s stance doesn’t relax in the least. “Then you may go now. These two are due for their match soon.”

Endeavor merely huffs and walks away then. All Might doesn’t move from his stance until the other man is no longer nearby. He turns and smiles at them, dropping a hand on both their shoulders when the coast is clear. Katsuki allows it, his anger still pulsing dangerously within him even if he knew they are safe with All Might now present but it is dying down nevertheless.

“What happened?” All Might asks, his blue eyes glinting dangerously under the hallway halogens.

Katsuki tells him. He keeps quiet about what their mate had told them earlier that day because it isn’t any of his business to share until his beta is ready to get help, but he holds nothing back about the conversation they just had with the Flaming Piece of Shit. All Might’s eyes turn almost black with the force of his anger, more ozone joining the air around them.

(And Deku had seriously thought Katsuki wasn’t going to assume that Yagi-san was his dad?)

“He won’t bother you again. You have my word,” All Might vows. “Now run along. Your match is starting within the next three minutes.”

They both nod and are rewarded with pats to their heads. Yagi-san then steps to the side so he is no longer blocking the path and Katsuki drags his alpha away before Deku can add more fire to the fuel.

Katsuki and Shouto share first place, Deku taking second and Emo Birdbrain taking third.

He would consider it a loss any other time, but considering all the crap Shouto has been put through and shared with them today, Katsuki just rolls with it.

(And no, he does not miss the fact that All Might hugs his alpha just a little too long to be normal after he drapes their medals over their heads during the awards ceremony. Going by Shouto’s thoughtful hum beside him, their beta doesn’t miss it either. That conversation should be fun.)

Later, he still takes pleasure in burning and blowing up all of his and Deku's Endeavor merchandise.

He takes greater pleasure in watching Shouto try and keep a straight face as Katsuki blatantly flirts with him when they get ice cream the next day. Deku's flirting is a lot more subtle but they both relish at the sight of Shouto's flushing, blank face over a banana split.

Of course, not all good things last. Katsuki had learned this fact early on in life.

He knows it isn't true when people say that the only way is up. Life isn't that easy and it has never been especially kind to Katsuki of all people. He doesn't mind that fact. He understands that is just how things work and that it is the way of life no matter how much he may wish it not to be. It's just how things are and he gets that.

He just didn't expect the rug to be pulled out from under his feet so soon is all.

a/n: sorry for the wait! i hope that you all liked this though (: thanks for reading!

[chilligyu]

info: kim mingyu/reader (feat ot13), teen, f2l genre: fluff, romance | word ct: 5k warnings: mentions of devils lettuce summary: she never feared change, not once. not until change meant that her childhood best friend was slowly turning into her first love. note: @mingtiddies thank you for always validating me, so here have part one of a potentially five part series. and thanks to the usual suspects, @dimp1ejoon, @dreamystuffers, and @e-therealepiphany for lending a helping hand. warnings will adjust in later parts!

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five

Every day begins and ends with change. At least that’s what her father used to say when she was growing up. And if she was being completely honest she had no idea what he meant by that. Still, it was a nice sentiment, and it meant that change had never been scary for her. In fact, she welcomed it with open arms. Change wasn’t always good but it was necessary, because every day would begin and end with it.

For years there had been one resolute constant in her life, one thing that hadn’t changed. His name was Mingyu and he was her very best friend in the whole wide world. They grew up just a stone’s throw away from each other, walked to school every single day, and spent almost every single second together. It would be hard to imagine one without the other, they were kindred spirits, partners in crime, tied together by mischief and laughter.

Which was why it was so heartbreaking when he moved away.

That was the first time that she ever really hated change because suddenly she lost her movie buddy, her sous chef, her trauma surgeon, and so much more. Her dad kept reminding her that it was just another part of life, that those sorts of things happen for a reason but she didn’t care. Saying goodbye to her best friend was probably the hardest thing she ever had to do. They held each other in her driveway and cried for what seemed like hours until their parents finally tore them apart. For those two it felt like their whole world was coming to an end. Neither had dreamed of being without the other.

Despite the distance they still kept in touch. Every week she would get a letter or an email from Mingyu detailing his new life, filling her in on the things she always used to know. Sometimes he would surprise her with a phone call, sometimes they would even Skype. None of which felt like enough to her. It was a hard transition, from constant contact to fleeting moments shared across a country, but they made it work. They continued on with their lives, the one thing that they never imagined would be separated, and never admitted how much they wanted more.

Eventually all of their waiting would pay off.

After spending the majority of their high school years hundreds of miles apart, Mingyu was finally coming home. His father was being transferred back to Anyang-si just in time for their senior year and she was beyond ecstatic. In the week leading up to his arrival she made sure she had all of their favorite movies, his favorite snacks, and her mother was even making kalbi to celebrate the occasion. She wanted everything to be perfect when he walked in through that door and wasn’t going to settle for anything less.

“You’re insane.” Hansol said plainly as he watched her dart around her room like a banshee. “It’s just Mingyu, you know he’s going to be so happy to see you again that he’s not going to give a damn about anything else.”

“Just because he won’t care doesn’t mean that I don’t care.” She returned, sticking her tongue out at him while she arranged and rearranged everything within sight. “And I won’t let your negative energy drag me down.”

Seungcheol nodded in approval. “I agree with her. Stop being an ass, Hansol.”

“How am I being an ass!” He protested loudly. “I’m just saying—”

“And what you’re saying makes you sound like an ass.” Seungcheol interrupted, launching a pillow across the room. “Let her have her moment. She knows Mingyu best so if she thinks that he’s going to love this little party then he’s going to love this little party.”

“Thank you, Cheol.” She beamed. “Now, if you excuse me, I have to go hide his presents.”

Hansol scoffed quietly. “Of course she got him—”

She didn’t see how Seungcheol got him to shut up, but she assumed that the aforementioned pillow was involved.

Downstairs the rest of their friends were getting everything ready. She forgot how popular Mingyu was before he moved, which was hard to imagine while watching the dozen boys clutter up her parents tiny two bedroom apartment. A part of her felt guilty for subjecting them to such a surprisingly large gathering. But they didn’t mind, they had been friends with Mingyu’s parents just as long as she’d been friends with Mingyu. They were almost as excited as she was. Almost.

When the final hour approached, she honestly didn’t know what to do with herself. Instead of waiting patiently like everyone else she somehow found herself reorganizing everything in the fridge by food group. And then organizing them again alphabetically. When she moved on to trying to rearrange their cereals by color—they knew it was bad. The others looked on with apprehension but didn’t do anything. They knew not to disturb her no matter how much they wanted to.

She was, in a word, nervous. Even though they had kept in touch all those years, she didn’t know what to expect from her long lost friend. Maybe he wasn’t the same little boy that used to curl up with her on the couch, maybe he didn’t like spicy food anymore, maybe he suddenly hated all of the things they used to love and the whole party was going to be a bust. Maybe—maybe he wasn’t Mingyu at all. Maybe he was a simulacrum sent to replace him and slowly brainwash her until she could be replaced by yet another simulacrum and their whole world was coming to an end—

“Breathe.” Jeonghan reminded once again, a reassuring hand on her back. “Everything’s going to be fine. He couldn’t have changed that much, y’know?”

Realistically she knew that he was right, but her heart was still racing. “But—what if he has?”

“I bet he’s still that little goofball that we all know and love.” Jisoo continued. “He’s probably worried about the same things you are! It’s only natural.”

Hesitantly, she nodded. “You’re right, you’re right. I’m just freaking myself out at this point.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all week.” Hansol interjected. “You’re out of your—”

“Shut up, Hansol.” Eleven boys said in near unison.

“Don’t listen to him.” Jisoo smiled brightly. “He’s just jealous that you didn’t make this big of a deal for his birthday last year.”

“I am not—!”

Armed with the pillow of silence, Seungcheol took care of him once again.

“Thanks guys.” She exhaled. “I honestly don’t think I’d be this put together if you weren’t all here.”

“Where else would we be?” Chan chimed in. “Your mom makes the best kalbi.”

She laughed quietly. “Thanks for the support, Chan.”

“Anytime.” He returned with a smile.

For a brief moment she almost felt at ease, Soonyoung was very quick to ply her with strawberry milk every time she started to feel antsy again. Jihoon was helping her mom cook, Wonwoo was having a lengthy philosophical debate with her dad, Seungkwan was trying to get a game of charades started for some reason, even Minghao was doing his best to monitor everyone as the self-appointed coaster police. Things seemed to be winding down.

Which she should’ve realized was just the calm before the storm.

“Look alive people! He’s here!” Seokmin suddenly shouted. “Battle stations everyone!”

Junhui elbowed him in the ribs. “Jesus Christ we’re not at war, stop yelling, your humor isn’t helping the situation.”

Casting a glance at her, Seokmin quickly ducked his head and left the room. “I didn’t say anything!”

She was, in another word, panicking. Whatever sort of calm she felt was immediately replaced by her skyrocketing blood pressure. Mingyu, her Mingyu, was just outside her front door. Someone who literally meant the whole world to her, someone she could talk to about anything, someone who could’ve easily become a stranger in their years apart. Someone she couldn’t risk losing.

Ding.

Her heart felt like a sledgehammer against her ribs as Jeonghan ushered her towards the door. She could feel her heels grinding into the carpet, putting off the very moment she had been anticipating for years. Somehow meeting him again was scarier than saying goodbye. She didn’t think it was possible and yet there she was, teeth practically chattering.

“You can do this.” Her mom reassured her. “It’s just Mingyu, if you open that door I promise you that everything will be fine.”

Chewing on her bottom lip, she knew that she couldn’t stave off the inevitable forever. No matter how much it terrified her. She had to trust that 17 year old Mingyu and 13 year old Mingyu were not that different. She had to. Taking a deep breath, she placed her hand on the handle and turned it slowly. More slowly that many thought physically possible. Then the door opened and—

Her heart stopped.

Standing in front of her wasn’t the scrawny little kid she used to race bikes with down the street. And it most certainly wasn’t the brat that climbed on top of counters to reach the top shelf. The boy that had to style his hair to get on rides at the carnival, the boy that got asked “where’s your mother?” more times than she could count, the boy that thought striped shirts and plaid pants was high fashion, was nowhere to be found.

Instead she found herself face to face with a handsome giant that easily dwarfed her, wearing a tight fitting turtleneck and a blazer that screamed “Clive, I’d like to take the helicopter today.” Her eyes scanned every inch of him, trying to find some semblance of familiarity in the giant’s chiselled face but she couldn’t find any. Whoever that man was, it wasn’t her Mingyu.

Except it was.

“I can’t believe it!” He exclaimed in a much deeper voice than she remembered, bending at the knees so he could wrap his arms around her and lifted her into the air. “You haven’t changed one bit!”

Well you most certainly have!

While he twirled her around in circles she felt like she was having an out of body experience. She couldn’t help but wonder what happened to Mingyu in Busan because the little kid that she knew and loved wouldn’t have been able to pick her up in a million years. She used to be able to pick him up. Feeling his strong arms around her she could hardly remember those moments.

“Damn.” Seungcheol whistled. “What do they feed you out there? Miracle grow?”

Chuckling, Mingyu stopped twirling and put her down. “I know, I had a bit of a growth spurt. I didn’t think it was that drastic.”

“Not that drastic?” Junhui scoffed from the doorway. “You were a little runt before you left, now I’m sure that you’re the tallest one in the room.”

And he was right, Mingyu was the tallest. Somehow he went from being the third shortest (next to Jihoon and Chan) to being roughly the size of a mountain. The contrast was unbelievable, and that wasn’t even the most unsettling part.

Mingyu was attractive. Really attractive.

Instead of feeling a warmth in her chest when she looked at Mingyu, like she used to long ago, suddenly she felt something else entirely. Her mouth was dry, her face was burning up, and her stomach was churning like the South China Sea. She had only felt like that a couple times before, after eating her little cousins Sunday Surprise and when she saw Park Jimin for the first time. The thought that Mingyu could fall into either of those categories—terrified her.

She didn’t move from her spot from the open doorway as Mingyu made his rounds, hugging and lifting the friends he hadn’t seen since junior high. He was so magnetic as he drifted from friend to friend, laughing and smiling like he had never been happier. She couldn’t help but watch him but also didn’t make any effort to join in the celebration. Something was keeping her from enjoying the party she put so much time and energy into making perfect.

“Sweetie?” Her mom prompted, having sensed her apparent distress from the kitchen. “Is everything alright? You look a little pale.”

“I’m fine.” She managed despite the dryness tearing up her throat. “Perfectly—fine.”

Jeonghan came up beside her. “See? Mingyu hasn’t changed at all, you were freaking yourself out over nothing at all.”

I’m not so sure about that.

“Do I—” Mingyu started suddenly, sniffing the air. “Do I smell eomma’s kalbi by any chance?”

Her mom smiled proudly. “Of course, nothing but the best for you my dear.”

“When is it gonna be ready?” He asked sheepishly. “Five minutes, ten minutes…”

She laughed. “Since you’re the guest of honor I guess we can let you eat a little early.”

“You’re the best!” He exclaimed, kissing her mother on the cheek and darting towards the kitchen. “I’ve missed your home cooking!”

Once he was out of sight, she grabbed an unassuming Hansol by the arm and dragged him into the other room. She needed to get her rambling thoughts off her chest before she imploded on the spot.

“Hey!” He protested. “Watch the nails, this is real genuine fake leather you’re digging into here.”

“Does it look like I care about your jacket?” She hissed, looking over her shoulder. “I need to ask you something and you’re not allowed to tell anyone we had this conversation.”

He eyed her suspiciously as he rubbed his arm. “Alright, I guess I’ll bite. What’s up?”

“Mingyu!” She exclaimed.

“What about him?”

“What do you mean what about him? Am I the only one seeing this?” She asked, gesturing broadly to Mingyu in the distance. “He’s—he’s different! Like—completely different!”

Hansol rolled his eyes. “You’re being overdramatic, as usual. So he got a little bit taller, what’s the big deal?”

“The big deal?” She repeated in exasperation. “The big deal is that when Mingyu lived down the street he was just some goofy dorky kid that could barely tie his shoelaces without tripping. He tucked in his shirts and had a rilakkuma backpack! In what world is that the same kid? He was—he was never this hot! ”

Stifling a laugh, Hansol put a hand on her shoulder. “I think it’s safe to say that you’ve got a bit of a lady boner for your best friend. And that is honestly hilarious.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Hansol I swear to God I’m going to smack you. I—I don’t have a lady boner for him. I’m just—I’m just a little taken aback by his new found appeal. That’s all.”

“Oh, is that so?” He asked, clearly amused. “Is that why your face is all red? Because you’re taken aback?”

Pulling out her phone and turning on the camera she couldn’t believe the blush that had creeped up her neck and managed to make her look like a ripe tomato. She was in some deep trouble. Especially if anyone with a louder mouth had noticed.

“So—so if Mingyu left looking like his usual goofball self and I felt nothing towards him,” She started quietly, “does that make me shallow now that he’s this attractive stud and suddenly my heart’s all doki doki?”

“Sorry to break it to you but, yes.” Hansol confirmed. “It does.”

She groaned loudly and crumpled to the floor. “Hansol, help me. What do I do? I don’t want to have a lady boner for Mingyu, that’s just—that’s just plain awkward!”

“Not to mention gross.” He chimed in. “Hearing you say lady boner over and over again is kinda disgusting.”

“You are not helping!” She whined, looking up at him in desperation. “How do I not have a—a thing for my best friend!”

“Well, the simple answer would be to get a boyfriend or a girlfriend so you wouldn’t think about him anymore.” He offered. “But we all know how well that’s been going for you so far.”

Glaring at him, she crossed her arms in a huff. “Don’t you know how to make a girl feel good. Besides, you’ve never had a girlfriend or boyfriend either if I’m not mistaken.”

“Yeah, true.” He admitted with a shrug. “But I also don’t care about that crap. Doesn’t count.”

“Would it kill you to be a decent human being for three minutes?”

Looking back, she was shocked to see Wonwoo of all people standing in the doorway. He usually wouldn’t be bothered by her qualms. It seemed like a lot of things were changing that day.

“Okay, so here’s what you’re going to do.” Wonwoo started. “First, you’re going to stand up and get back in that party because if I have to hear you say lady boner one more time I’m going to lose it. Second, you’re going to have a conversation with Mingyu and put an end to this whole ordeal. If there’s one thing I can promise you it’s that despite the new packaging, Mingyu hasn’t changed at all. He’s still the dork you grew up with. Scout’s honor.”

“Weren’t you kicked out of the scout’s?” Hansol chuckled.

“Anyways.” He continued, levelling a vehement look at his childish friend. “My point still stands. And if you start to feel overwhelmed Soonyoung went to go get you some more strawberry milk since you already drank it all.”

She let out a sigh of relief. “Bless that Kwon Soonyoung. I don’t know where I’d be without that man.”

“I really don’t get why strawberry milk calms you down.” Hansol snickered quietly. “You really are a strange one.”

“Says the one rapping about apple juice watching sing street.” She countered almost immediately. “What does that say about you?”

While doing his best to hide the blush creeping across his cheeks, Hansol pursed his lips in frustration. “I showed you those lyrics in confidence.”

“Well then maybe you should treat me better so I don’t spill your secrets all over the linoleum.” She returned. “Ever think of that?”

“Guys, can’t you bicker like an old married couple another time?” Wonwoo interjected suddenly. “Because I’m pretty sure that Seokmin brought his stash with him and I’d love to get a couple hits in before this whole awkward encounter gets underway.”

“Why didn’t you say so sooner?” Hansol laughed, starting for the other room with Wonwoo. “This conversation would’ve been much better if I was high. Basically any conversation with her is better when high.”

“You know I can still hear you right?” She halfway called after them, chuckling underneath her breath. “Alright, I can do this. I can get through this. He’s just Mingyu, I’m just me, and just because he looks like he stepped straight out of a Calvin Klein photoshoot doesn’t mean that anything has changed. And even if it has, change is no big deal. I’m not afraid of change. Not at all.”

Except maybe she was. Just a little bit.

After smoothing out her dress and pretending that it did something to help ease her nerves, she walked back into the living room like nothing happened at all. The few who noticed her return seemed to have a vague understanding of what went on. She wasn’t surprised. Her group of friends were a bunch of intolerable gossips so it wouldn’t be long before they all knew the gritty details anyway.

“There you are!” Mingyu exclaimed, completely oblivious as always. “Your dad broke out the champagne and Seokmin already put away almost half the bottle, hurry before you miss it!”

Her jaw dropped as she eyed her father. “So when I finished out last year at the top of my class I got treated to McDonald’s but when Mingyu comes back home he gets champagne? Do I need to remind you that I’m your child? Not this giant lug?”

While Mingyu guffawed over being referred to as a lug, her father stated plainly, “Well it’s not everyday that your long lost son returns home. Naturally it calls for a celebration!”

“Ouch.” Hansol snickered from the couch. “It’s gotta suck not being the favorite child when you’re the only child.”

Sticking her middle finger in his face, she turned her attention to her mother. “Am I really the second favorite?”

“Who wants kalbi!” She deflected easily. “First come first serve!”

Her jaw dropped. “Eomma!”

Having dinner with Mingyu and all of their friends had always been an experience, and somethings never change. They were all shoulder to shoulder at a table that comfortably sat six, maybe eight people, but they were easily double that count. For the entirety of the meal she had someone’s elbow in her side, someone else’s glass in front of her, and someone grinding their heel into her foot. It surely sounded uncomfortable, but for her it was her saving grace.

It helped distract her from the fact that she was literally pressed against Mingyu and her internal body temperature was skyrocketing. And it wasn’t helping much at all.

All around the table her friends were juggling conversation after conversation like seasoned pros and all she had to offer were clipped responses and choking sounds. Beside her Hansol was clearly amused since he was the most aware of her struggles and the one friend you never wanted to see your weaknesses. She had to pointedly ignore his quiet jeers while simultaneously trying to convince herself that everything was fine.

She really didn’t know what was wrong with her, why she couldn’t hold it together for more than five minutes without dissolving into a puddle of goo. If she had a crush on Mingyu, which she sorely wished wasn’t the case, he wouldn’t be the first. Or the second. Or even the third if she was being perfectly honest. She had spent most of her high school career pining after guys and girls that were way above her social pay grade. If there was one thing she was good at, it was being painstakingly awkward and being able to hide it from the world.

Mingyu, on the other hand, didn’t seem to have any issue at all. He was talking the entire time, answering questions and filling in the dots of his life with a trademark smile plastered on his face. It was almost like he never left, that’s how perfectly he found his way back into her life. She was the disfigured puzzle piece, the one that didn’t belong, and it broke her heart a little.

Once everyone was done, most of the boys started to help her parents clean up like well trained huskies. They had been to enough of her family gatherings to know the drill. Many hands make light work and for that fact alone she was grateful to be friends with a dozen or so boys. The only ones that were nowhere to be found were all members of what she affectionately referred to as “team green”. Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Hansol, and Seokmin. They were no doubt in her basement with the faulty smoke detector. She made a mental note to burn some incense later.

“Honey, can you and Mingyu start putting away chairs?” Her mother asked politely. “Your father’s back is acting up again.”

Swallowing nervously, she nodded. “Y-yeah, sure. No problem.”

The one thing she was dreading above all else was being alone with Mingyu. Without the safety net of her friends and family she couldn’t predict the nonsense that was bound to spill out of her absurdly dry mouth. Her brain was reduced to little more than dirty thoughts and all she wanted to do was take a cold shower. She desperately hoped that she’d be able to hold it together for a few moments more.

You can do this. She reminded herself again and again. Think about Mingyu eating dirt, or crying over dramas, that’ll help.

It didn’t.

“How about you stack and I lift?” Mingyu offered innocently. “There aren’t many, we should be done quickly.”

Fearing her voice, she simply hummed in approval and got started. She was folding up chairs and pretending like Mingyu wasn’t boring holes into her head with his perplexed gaze.

Can hell open up and swallow me whole already?

“Alright, what’s going on with you.” He finally asked in that surprisingly deep voice of his. “You’ve been acting weird all night. Spill.”

“I’m not acting weird you’re acting weird.” She countered weakly. “I’m just really focused on these chairs is all.”

Mingyu rolled his eyes. “Just like you were really focused on the three dozen napkins to tore to ribbons underneath the table? Don’t think I didn’t notice that.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She mumbled, gesturing to a stack of chairs. “I think you’re putting off having to lift all these heavy chairs. You can take two at a time if you need to.”

As he scoffed, he looped his arm through five chairs. “Yeah, I’m putting it off alright.”

Watching him lift the chairs like they weighed little more than paper, her heart skipped enough times to potentially warrant a trip to the emergency room. He really wasn’t the same Mingyu that struggled with his school books every single day. This Mingyu was far more dangerous, more sexy, more—

“Shit!”

Clumsy?

He hadn’t even taken two steps towards the closet before tripping over an untied shoelace and toppling gloriously to the floor. Watching him fall like a great oak was vaguely reminiscent of their short stint as pole vaulters in junior high. They only went to one practice and it ended just as ceremoniously with Mingyu face down in the astroturf. The only thing that was missing were his slightly askew glasses and charmingly crooked teeth.

After standing there in silence waiting for him to compose himself, she burst out in belly aching laughter.

Finally, the illusion was shattered. The others were right, he hadn’t changed one bit. He was still the same clumsy goof she knew and loved, tripping over shoelaces and making a fool of himself just like the good ol’ days. It didn’t matter that puberty was kind to him, that didn’t change what mattered most. He was her perfectly imperfect Kim Mingyu and that’s all she cared about.

“Easy there.” She managed through bouts of laughter. “Don’t try to overwork yourself for my benefit.”

“Hey, I thought I was pretty cool.” He returned, a smile twitching at his lips. “Up until the—uh, y’know—falling over bit.”

Rolling her eyes, she offered him a helping hand. “You really were, almost had me fooled for a second there.”

“I can only try.” He said, taking her hand and pushing himself back onto his feet. “I’m just glad it finally got you out of your funk. You really haven’t been acting like yourself.”

“How am I supposed to act when my best friend shows up at the door and he looks like a complete stranger?” She scoffed. “I wasn’t entirely sure that Hansol wasn’t pulling some sort of elaborate prank on me. I wouldn’t put it past him getting my parents involved either.”

Mingyu laughed quietly. “You two have been trying to one-up each other since you were in diapers. What’s the score these days?”

“He likes to think he’s ahead but he forgets that despite his icy cool exterior he can’t keep his mouth shut for crap.” She grinned. “Every time he takes a step forward his fat mouth sends him two steps back.”

He offered her an incredulous look. “Is that so?”

“That it is.” She reaffirmed. “Did you know that he wrote a love letter to the school nurse when he was eight? He never sent it, but I bet if we get him loaded then he’ll totally recite it for us.”

Bursting out laughing, he pulled her into a tight hug. “Man, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

She sighed into the embrace. “I missed you too.”

There was a lot that was different, about both of them, and a lot that was the same. She felt comfortable in his arms, like it was the only place she wanted to be. Now there was just a lot more of him and she couldn’t help but smile.

“Alright I hate to spoil the moment but those chairs aren’t going to put away themselves.” Her mother suddenly chastised them from the kitchen. “You guys better hurry up before I decide to eat this ice cream all by myself.”

“If you touch my samanco I will sue!” She exclaimed, running for the freezer. “I don’t know what for but I’ll figure it out!”

Her mom chuckled into her hand. “That would certainly be interesting. Just don’t touch your father’s strawberry ice cream or Mingyu’s melona bars.”

“You even got him ice cream?” She rolled her eyes. “I swear you might as well adopt him at this point.”

“Stop being so dramatic, it’s only because he’s spending the night.”

Her heart stopped.

“S-spending the night?” She managed past the lump rising in her throat. “Wh-what are you talking about?”

Her mom didn’t look fazed. “I figured it would be nice if you two had a sleepover like the good old days! Besides, he’s living down the hall so why not stay here?”

“Down the hall?” She continued to sputter. “What—are you serious? His parents—”

“Are still living in Busan.” She finished. “Haven’t you been paying attention? They let him move back here so he could finish out his senior year with you and all of your friends!”

“So he’s—” She paused to swallow. “He’s living here. In this building. Down the hall. Alone? And you want him to stay here tonight? With me?”

Her mom was looking at her like she’d grown a second head. “Yes? Why are you acting so strangely? Are you feeling okay?”

Mingyu. She thought. Hot, sculpted, tan, tall, Mingyu. In my house. Spending the night. I’m—I’m perfectly fine.

“Perfectly… fine…”

Yeah.

She wasn’t.

[shineefics]

Key wants to confess, but can’t. The fact that the rest of SHINee won’t stop interfering in matters really doesn’t help. At all.

Pairing: Jongkey Chapters: 2 Rating: PG13 Completed: yes 

[oscarwillds]

The Story of Amy Mullen: Chapter One

It was the middle of June but it was still cold at night. The moment the sun set, the air would turn and the thick jackets we’d brought ‘just in case’ would be slung over our shoulders and cuddled tightly around us.

We were sat at a wooden table and chairs in the outside area of a pub. It wasn’t our local pub, like they always show people going to in films and on TV. We didn’t have a local pub. We all came from different areas, and anyway, the pubs around us were completely shit. Most of them were filled with old people that had just come to drink beer and watch the sports. We liked to pretend we were classier than that, maybe we were. So instead we drove out to nice pubs in this small area just outside London.

Cam and I were smoking almost consistently, or at least I was. Jamie would occasionally borrow a fag but she considered herself more of a social smoker and never bought for herself. She never really bought anything for herself.

There was half a bottle of red wine left in the middle of the table, and our three glasses were already almost empty. Mine was the most empty though, I always drank the quickest, which was probably one of my biggest flaws.

Cam and I were discussing work. We both worked part-time in a Weatherspoon’s pub in St. Albans. Both of us hated it there, but it was the first time we’d ever had real money to spend, and so it was worth every awful second. Jamie was already bored with our conversation, but we never really noticed that. In retrospect, maybe that was when it all started, although one of the most important things I have learnt is to never blame myself for how someone else turns out.

I was with Daniel then, and he was still exciting. Funny, remembering back to how I used to see him. Working class, hated by my parents, raised into a family of drug-taking low-achievers. He was the opposite of everyone else I knew. He lived this life I had only imagined existed. He amazed me.

Cam wasn’t seeing anyone seriously, but there was Mark. There always has been Mark. The boy who thought she was this fun experimentation. He liked the mess with her. He saw how trusting she was, how vulnerable and broken. His game was to piece her back together in some mutilated way and to see if it would work, and it almost always did. I’m not blaming him for her problems, because those existed long before him. I blame him for exploiting those problems.

Jamie was, well, probably seeing someone. The thing about Jamie is that I don’t think she ever understood that people saw her. They noticed her. They thought she was brilliant. She was already in the habit of changing herself to be liked more, but she wasn’t as good at it then. Boys were always intrigued. But she wasn’t fussed with them. She liked her own company just a bit too much, her own freedom. She needed to be able to make her own mistakes.

So in-between conversations about work, we would talk about boys. I would get excited and drink too much wine and reveal intimate details about my relationship; Cam would talk about some new conversation between her and Mark that she knew we’d disapprove of. Technically they’d stopped talking and being friends a while ago, although that never worked. She’d always run back for one more conversation, one more chance, I think, with him. And Jamie would drop one more clue about the person she was seeing. She’d never tell us everything at one, but give us pieces of a story, bit by bit.

We would also discuss Uni sometimes. Jamie was trying to get into the best ones. It was a bit of a sensitive topic for her, as she was still coming to terms with her Oxbridge rejection, but she was trying her hardest to be excited about her second choice. Cam was in the process of breaking apart over her next steps. She’d wanted to study Medicine for as long as she could remember, but she’d been rejected from everywhere and was reluctantly trying to decide on what to do instead. I’d always warned her that she needed a back-up plan, but she’d always insisted there was nothing other than medicine. I understood that. For me, there was nothing other than literature. True, I’d failed horribly at achieving my life-long dream of studying it at Oxford, but that was okay, because I was still going to be studying it. As long as my grades were okay, I was going to go to Chester University in September. I was trying my hardest not to think about what that would mean for my relationship, but after a few glasses of wine that was all I could talk about.

The thing was, we seemed like this perfect happy friendship group, but we weren’t. We were a crashing together of several dysfunctional friendships. Often, Jamie liked to remind us of this – not on purpose, but it happened. Her and Cam would argue a lot. Mainly because Jamie had been so used to using Cam as a punching bag for her emotions, but also because Cam was stupid, and made a lot of mistakes.

It was times like this when Jamie would text me. She’d forward me all the messages, and then power play. “It’s me and you though, always,” she would say to me. She knew I wouldn’t fight it. I was loyal beyond anything else back then, and Jamie had been my friend too long for me to know how to be anyone else’s best friend other than hers. In a fight against Cam, she knew that one word to me and I would have her back.

And then there were the times were she’d just laugh at Cam, seeing how high we could make her jump when we wanted to. Cam was too vulnerable, too desperate for our friendship. She’d do anything for us, and Jamie liked to prove that sometimes, and laugh at it. I hate myself for joining in, but I did. At the time, it seemed ridiculous to me too. Friendship wasn’t something that you had to jump through hoops for, I thought. Friendship was something that was just there. Cam was just too desperate.

We were cruel girls back then, but every girl was cruel. It was the age of real bitches. The age were people do horrible things because they’re still learning where to draw the line. It was the age of learning from mistakes.

But despite everything we did to each other, we were best friends, and we couldn’t deny that. And we would always be meeting up to go to these pubs and sit and drink wine. We would end these nights dreaming about the future.

“When we’re thirty years old, and we’re all grown up with families and jobs, we’ll still be doing this together.” We promised each other. Glamorous futures glinted in our eyes and our hearts were still alive with dreams and promises of better things to come.

[thekimlinenet]

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[qobiin]

when i fill them, they’ll shine forever | ch 3

pairing: todobakudeku (bakugou x midoriya x todoroki)

genre: fluff | abo au, canon-compliant 

warnings: swearing, trans male character  

word count: 3839 

summary: Katsuki being an omega from birth changes a few things. 

chapter three of when i fill them, they’ll shine forever 

Katsuki stays in his room until dinnertime when his grumbling stomach and the angry shouts from his mom forces him to come out of hiding.

His dad is home now and heard all about the dumbass sludge villain on his commute here from the studio. Katsuki endures the mother henning, assuring his dad multiple times that he took off his binder as soon as he got back and no, he is not even wearing a sports bra either. His dad doesn’t look assured in the least, but then his mom butts in and asks if it really was Izuku who rushed in before All Might showed up.

Katsuki fights back a growl, but his mom sees right through his bullshit. She's always been able to do that.

“You sent Izuku packing, didn’t you?” she asks.

“Shut up, old hag,” Katsuki deflects.

His mom sighs, rolling her eyes heavenwards in exaggeration. “You’re being stupid, ungrateful brat.”

“Love, this really-” his dad tries to cut in.

“No, he needs to hear it,” his mom interrupts before looking back at Katsuki and frowning like he's the one who did something wrong. “You’re being stupid. Izuku is your alpha. Of course, he’s gonna risk his life for yours, it’s built into him. You would do the same stupid stunt too, that’s why you’re mates. Because you love each other so much that you would do anything for your mate no matter the cost. Don’t make that face at me, you brat! You know that I’m right.”

Katsuki sulks, chopsticks picking at the food that was set in front of him during his dad’s mother henning earlier. He doesn’t feel all that hungry anymore, but he knows that he needs to eat. If he doesn’t, his dad will go into a flurry and his mom will ultimately force him to finish what’s on his plate anyway.

“I never asked him to,” he finally says, chancing a glance up at his mom.

She stares back, giving nothing. “And he would never want you to! The least you could have said is thank you before you ripped him a new one. I’m sure those useless heroes at the scene did enough of that crap since they couldn’t do anything better.”

“I can’t even fucking look at him right now.”

“Why?”

Katsuki growls, hands pulling at his hair in frustration as he feels the burn of tears in his eyes again. “Because I was weak! I was just a shitty, useless omega who had their alpha save them and now that’s all anyone is going to remember from that shitshow! My alpha was in danger because of me and I promised to protect him, but I couldn’t even fucking do that!”

His mom’s voice raises in tandem with his own. “You really are fucking stupid if you think-!”

“Let me handle this dear,” Katsuki’s dad cuts in, one hand on his beta’s shoulder.

With a deep exhale, Katsuki watches his mom calm down underneath his dad’s hold. He sets his chopsticks down and waits, hands folded together in his own lap as his father’s gaze swings from his mom to him instead. He knows that his dad is about to give him a lecture the equivalent to the smackdown of the century and he should probably save himself and just run, but Katsuki is no coward.

“Katsuki,” his dad begins with, “you are not weak and I would pity the fool who would ever believe that of you.”

Indignation rises up in him causing Katsuki to sit up straight in his seat, the beginning of a protest on the tip of his tongue before it dies as his dad shoots him an uncharacteristic glare and continues.

“You and I both know that Izuku did not do what he did because he views you as weak. He risked his life for the chance of saving yours because you are his mate. You are his other half and if he stood by while your life was in danger, he would never be able to forgive himself. And you know what?” His father asks, tilting his head to the side to see if Katsuki will answer.

Satisfied with the silence, he plunders on. “I would never forgive him either if he only stood by and did nothing like those so-called heroes who were there at the scene. Not one of them was going to even try and save you in the end, Katsuki. They were going to let my little boy die without even doing anything to prevent it. Izuku is a true hero and you’re lucky to have him as a mate.”

Katsuki scoffs but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he waits and is rewarded when his dad ignores him and keeps talking, voice strained in that way Katsuki has learned to associate with holding back tears.

“It’s okay if you’re mad at him too. I would be if your mother did anything like that for me because I would have been scared for her and beside myself with worry,” his father says, not expecting a reply.

His mom speaks up then, her tone much softer now to appease Katsuki. “If you need time away from that green twerp to get your thoughts all in order, that’s fine too. Just don’t let his actions go unnoticed either, you ungrateful brat.”

Katsuki manages a smirk then, an expletive on the tip of his tongue before he stamps it down when his dad shoots him a withering look. “Okay, old hag.”

  Deku stays away as he promised.

Katsuki regrets agreeing to it by the second day. The day after the sludge villain incident, people crowded around him, wanting to know more about what happened. Katsuki had bristled at all the attention, fighting back the urge to let his control on his quirk slip just a little. Just enough to get these shitty extras away from him.

Then some dumbass alphas had to ruin it by posturing and Katsuki sent them to the school nurse. He was not suspended for it, the principal excusing the fight and talking down his nose at him about “traumatic events” and whatever the fuck else the old motherfucker was preaching. Katsuki was much too busy seething at his pity to notice anything else.

He goes back to class and ignores the looks he receives as he walks through the classroom door. He settles down in his desk, casts the projector screen a cursory glance, then decides that taking useless notes isn’t worth any of his time.

Deku’s eyes burn into his back for the rest of the day. Katsuki doesn’t confront him about it, knowing that Deku’s shadowing is the only reason people leave him the fuck alone for the rest of the day.

Everyone knows that they are mates and everyone also knows that while Deku is timid and quirkless and allows others to ridicule him, he switches into high gear the moment insults, violence or slurs are directed at his omega. Katsuki would probably be angry and frothing at the mouth furious about that in another life, but Deku is his mate, alpha, and best friend. If anything, Katsuki expects his alpha to rise up to the challenge. Otherwise, what is the point?

The day Deku stops defending him is the day Katsuki knows Deku is done with him.

So, he is annoyed about his alpha having so much sway, but he is not angry. Not necessarily anyway. Maybe just a little since Deku doesn’t look injured or harmed and barely shows any emotion when people interact with him.

This is why after school the next day, Katsuki rushes out after Deku and catches up to him past the school gates.

Deku doesn’t say a word, just lets their hands intertwine and follows after Katsuki as he leads the way home.

The alpha yelps in surprise when Katsuki takes a sharp right and drags Deku into an alley a couple of streets away from Katsuki’s house. He lets go of Deku’s hand and pushes his alpha against the grimy wall, glowering at him before he closes in.

“K-Kacchan, w-what-” Deku starts to stutter out, back pressed firmly against the wall behind him as Katsuki steps into his personal space.

Katsuki cuts him off with a kiss. He tries his hardest to make it gentle, to try and show everything he can’t say just yet with his mouth on Deku’s.

At first, Deku doesn’t respond. He’s too stiff, pressed back into the brick and arms at his own sides, but when Katsuki starts pulling back, Deku practically attacks him.

Arms come up to wrap themselves around him, a hand burying itself in his hair before gripping on the strands hard. Katsuki makes a choked noise in the back of his throat that Deku takes as encouragement, pulling Katsuki into his space until their chests bump together. Deku’s lips are chapped, but their movements are steady against his own, so Katsuki exhales and relaxes into it.

They pull away for much-needed air a few moments later, Deku flushing a bright red and eyes sparkling with an emotion that makes knots twist in Katsuki’s stomach. His own face feels warm, but his breaths are even unlike his alpha’s and something deep within him preens at the response.

“If you ever pull a stunt like that again,” Katsuki snaps, his voice like a whip breaking the silence. “I will kill you myself.”

Deku smiles at him, pulling Katsuki in close for another kiss. “Okay, Kacchan.”

  Things start to smooth over between them after that.

Katsuki still refuses to talk about stupid feelings when he thinks he can get away with it, but he listens to Deku’s muttered rambling with a small smile on his face that he denies having afterward. His dad teaches him how to cook when he catches him making a mess of the bento box he was going to take for Deku as lunch and he grudgingly learns, picking it up fairly quickly.

Deku smiles at the bento box but picks at the food, only explaining about his new diet once Katsuki explodes at him about not appreciating his hard work, the bastard. Katsuki is irritated with him for not letting him know sooner, but takes note of the new diet anyway and makes a more suitable bento box the next day.

His alpha eats that one without complaint, thanking and praising Katsuki as he eats. Katsuki tries not to let it get to his head and fails.

Their homework and study sessions start ending with Deku pinned down on the floor or against the wall while Katsuki makes a mess of him. Katsuki kisses his alpha as if neither of them is going to get the chance to do so again. Deku barely hangs out with him as is and he is always smelling faintly of garbage no matter how often he showers, so Katsuki treats the time he can get with his alpha as a prize. Something to look forward to.

It’s only when Deku unexpectedly pins Katsuki down one day while they are getting carried away and Katsuki can't push him off no matter how hard he tries that the explosive blonde takes notice of his alpha’s new strength.

“What the shit? Have you been working out without me, you fucking nerd?” Katsuki asks, eyes wide and chest heaving.

Deku’s eyes are dark and his expression is blank, but at Katsuki’s words his features shift and then he’s pulling away, embarrassed. Katsuki sits up once Deku has settled down on the floor beside him, scratching at the back of his head as his gaze flickers across the room but never settles on Katsuki.

“Um, y-yeah! This guy, who’s a personal trainer, sought me out after what happened with the sludge villain and he’s helping me build up my strength for the UA hero course. I don’t know if it’s working well yet, but his training regime is really intense,” Deku flushes, sweat beading along his hairline.

Katsuki’s eyes narrow into slits. “The new diet?”

“His idea too!” Deku answers, smiling nervously.

There are many things that Katsuki could focus on right now. Deku’s new diet, a mysterious personal trainer seeking him out, his new workout and strength, the stench of trash or the fact that Deku is giving him the bare minimum of the truth. Katsuki can tell everything that came out of his alpha’s mouth just now isn’t the real story, but it’s sprinkled in with enough of the truth to not raise suspicion. At least not from someone who hasn’t known Deku since they were in fucking diapers.

Katsuki decides to be merciful - just this once. He’ll ignore the fact that his alpha is being secretive for the time being and play along. But only this once so fucking Deku better be grateful about it when he finally tells Katsuki what’s really going on.

“You’re still gonna apply then?” Katsuki asks, glare trained on the edge of his bed where their homework lays forgotten.

Deku hums, nodding his head quickly. “Yeah! I think my chances are getting better and better each day that I follow this new training plan. I know that the practical part of the exam is going to be a challenge, but I really do think I can pass and so does Yagi-sensei.”

“Deku, what the shit?” Katsuki asks, filing away the trainer’s name for later.

“Kacchan, I’ll be okay,” Deku assures him, turning to smile at him.

Katsuki sulks instead, refusing to meet Deku’s gaze. “You’re an idiot.”

Deku laughs a little under his breath. “Don’t worry. We’ll both get in and then we could be a hero duo like we used to talk about before…”

He knows what his alpha means. Deku doesn't have to say it out loud for Katsuki to remember what happened when he turned four and got his quirk. He and Deku went into an absolute frenzy about how powerful of a hero duo they would make as adults. Deku was practically vibrating with excitement as his own fourth birthday closed in and Katsuki tolerated it, not wanting to be mean to his young alpha.

It wasn’t until they found out about Deku’s pinkie toe joint and his quirklessness that they stopped talking about it. Katsuki still thought of it from time to time though, thinking of other ways Deku could have his back while Katsuki became a pro hero.

He also knows though that Deku would never give up on that dream. And really, who is Katsuki to crush that for him? He’s an omega and the only reason UA allowed his application was because his parents and Deku signed off on the appropriate forms and his mom gave them a piece of her mind through multiple threatening phone calls if they decided to throw out Katsuki’s application anyway.

So Katsuki sighs and leans into Deku’s side. “I never expected you to give up on that dream, you fucking idiot. I just didn’t know you were suicidal.”

Deku has the audacity to laugh. “I’ll be fine, Kacchan! My training is going to pay off, just you wait.”

“Well, I want in,” Katsuki says, half-expecting Deku to tell him no.

But Deku has rarely ever denied Katsuki something he wants. “Sure, Kacchan. Meet me at Dagobah Beach after school, okay?”

Katsuki huffs but nods his head. “Fine, you shit nerd. Now get back to kissing me. Come and show me just how strong you’re becoming.”

Deku’s smile curves sharply at his words and before Katsuki knows it, he’s pinned to the ground with his alpha hovering over him once more.

  Either Deku is an idiot or he knows exactly who Yagi Toshinori actually is.

Katsuki can’t quite believe that the number one hero would seek out his quirkless alpha and decide to train him, but he isn’t very surprised either. All Might had suddenly shown up soon after Deku had rushed to Katsuki's aid when he was trapped by the sludge villain. Deku had also said that he had been attacked by the same villain earlier that day too. Katsuki had heard the dispersing crowd whisper about All Might spending most of the day chasing this villain around, so it wasn’t hard to put two and two together.

Really, Katsuki is honestly just surprised that the number one hero can look this deathly ill and still kick ass when needed.

As much as Katsuki would like to know what the fuck is going on firsthand, he keeps his mouth shut. He sees the way All Might looks at his alpha. It’s the same way his own dad looks at him from time to time whenever he has done something to warrant his father's approval or pride.

Deku’s father not being around would explain a lot of things as well. Katsuki has never met him, but he knows that Auntie is still married to him, that he was an alpha too and that he supposedly had a fire quirk. The more time he spends at the beach watching the two alphas in front of him interact though, the less he believes a Midoriya Hisashi ever even existed.

Katsuki decides to keep this secret guarded close to his chest. He doesn’t want his alpha or Auntie to be thrown into the line of fire just because Auntie married and bore All Might a son. He would never be able to forgive himself if he slipped up and an evil villain with a grudge against All Might decided to take it out on the number one hero’s defenseless family.

But they won’t be defenseless. Katsuki will be there and he would never let anybody lay a hand on either of their heads. Over his dead fucking body really.

He watches Deku move the trash, keeping a close eye on Yagi Toshinori as he thinks of how strong he'll need to be to make sure his birth pack is not harmed.

  On the morning of the exam, Deku stumbles into him at the entrance gates.

He’s sweaty, nervous, and smells like garbage and ozone of all fucking things. Katuski tilts his head at him as he tries to sniff out the new scent but it disappears as quickly as it appeared.

Deku is a stuttering mess and Katsuki rolls his eyes at him, throwing an arm over his alpha’s shoulders and pulling him in close as he guides them to the testing room. Plenty of people stare at them as they pass, probably surprised by the scent of an omega, but Katsuki knows he isn’t the only omega here so he glares at everyone and finds them their seats quickly.

He’ll deny this with all his might, but he is relieved that he and Deku are sitting next to each other for the written portion of the exam. Katsuki always feels calmer when he can hear Deku’s very faint mumbling during a test.

Which is why he glares at some stuck up, tall as shit extra who interrupts Presenter Mic’s explanation on the rules about some dumbass typo then turns right around and calls out his alpha for his muttering. Just who the fuck does this fucktard think he is?

Katsuki mutters expletives under his breath until the start of the written portion, smirking when he feels the fucktard’s eyes on him. Deku smiles at him from the corner of his eye and he smiles back, focusing on answering the questions on his exam after that.

He splits up with Deku for the practical portion and kisses him for good luck, doing his best not to worry about his alpha. Deku has this. He’s been trained by All Might himself for fuck’s sake and he carries those genes in him. Deku has the practical portion under control just as much as Katsuki does.

So when the practical ends and Katsuki calculates his score, he feels smug as he makes his way back to the entrance gates. He’s sweaty and smells strongly of pure omega if the looks from stupid alphas mean anything, but he glares at anyone who looks his way as he toughs it out and waits. His binder is starting to dig into his skin thanks to the robots and being slammed into the side of a building once, but he ignores it and forces himself to take deep breaths no matter how much it makes his chest ache.

His discomfort is completely forgotten about when he sees Deku emerge from the exam building, head low and steps uneven. His usual muttering storm is absent and when Katsuki asks what the fuck happened, Deku stutters out something about a broken arm and legs and zero points. He smells awful, almost something like grief and mostly of shame. It makes Katsuki's hackles rise with anger as a surge of protectiveness overcomes him.

Katsuki walks his alpha all the way home and spends the night after yelling at his mom on the phone for ten minutes. Deku is mostly out of it, not really responding to anything but managing to dress himself in his own pajamas when they get ready for bed. Katsuki ends up crawling into the small bit of space that is left between the wall and Deku’s body on his alpha’s small bed instead of the futon his Auntie dragged out.

It’s a tight fit, but they make it work. Katsuki wraps his arms around his alpha and presses his face into his dark, curly hair, inhaling his scent and hoping that with Deku's head cushioned on his chest, his alpha will be able to come back to. Deku doesn't fall asleep for a long time and when he starts crying, Katsuki only holds him closer and presses his lips to Deku's forehead.

He’d rather die than let his alpha wallow in his own failure. Fuck that crap.

  Deku makes it into UA.

Katsuki is surprised considering how dejected his alpha smelt after the exam, but he doesn’t say anything except for a quiet congratulations and sits through the joint family celebration their birth pack holds for them.

Auntie cries the entire time and Deku looks like he might be on the verge of tears too, especially when All Might shows up in his civilian form and Auntie Inko blushes bright red. Katsuki sees his mom spare All Might a glance before she ignores him, ordering another round of drinks for the adults present instead. Katsuki frowns as his mom orders him another fucking apple juice, but says nothing, much too focused on the way Deku is adamantly playing stupid footsie with him underneath the table.

Katsuki files all that he learns through body language and minute glances at the dinner away for later. Deku doesn’t seem to notice anything amiss, but his alpha has always been pretty oblivious when it comes to social cues so his reactions stopped counting a long time ago.

At least now they can really become a Hero Duo like they always talked about when they were toddlers. 

a/n: if you’re interested about how this is all coming together, check out my #progress-report tag (: 

thanks for reading! please remember that my requests are open 

[qobiin]

when i fill them, they’ll shine forever | ch 5

pairing: todobakudeku (bakugou x midoriya x todoroki) 

genre: angst | abo au, canon-compliant 

warnings: swearing, trans male character, violence, misgendering, transphobia, mineta  

word count: 3180 

summary: Katsuki being an omega from birth changes a few things. 

chapter five of when i fill them, they’ll shine forever 

Katsuki is an idiot for running forward when his alpha told him not to. Such a stupid fucking idiot really.

It's bad enough Katsuki got caught up in the dark fog from that misty motherfucker, but now he's fighting back-to-back with Shitty Hair. At least Shitty Hair isn’t awful at fighting and these villains are insultingly easy to handle. Even the stupid chameleon-like one isn’t a match for him.

Can’t these stupid fucking villains fight him like he wants to fight? Or are they all this ridiculously weak? Why did they even bother storming USJ if that was the case?

Whatever. Katsuki needs to find Deku and that stupid Half-and-Half bastard as well first and then he can figure everything else out after.

Katsuki quickly leads the way out of the evacuation site they were meant to train in and they catch glimpses of a fight going on in the very center of USJ.

All Might is fighting some black humanoid figure that Katsuki can’t make sense of, the number one hero at a disadvantage when that misty motherfucker with the teleportation quirk interferes. Deku is running back towards All Might, feet pounding the floor furiously as his alpha moves. Katsuki runs forward before he can really think about what he's doing, growling when Half-and-Half suddenly appears to his right, flanking him. Shitty Hair is to his left, trying to keep up and ultimately failing.

“You, freeze the huge, black one. Shitty Hair, go after the one with all the hands. Misty Motherfucker is mine,” Katsuki barks out orders, hoping with all his might that the betas will listen to him.

He is only mildly surprised when they do, Half-and-Half quickly freezing the monster looking thing as Katsuki tackles Misty Motherfucker. Shitty Hair fails in getting to the leader though and Katsuki grits his teeth, hands warming dangerously on the metal body he knew he would find when he attacked this villain.

Deku stares at him for a moment like a blind man staring at the sun for the first time. It makes something in Katsuki want to preen and say, I can take care of you too. Instead, he bares his teeth with a growl and gathers more sweat in his gauntlet.

It all goes to shit soon after though.

All Might is releasing smoke that is expertly hidden by the steam of the last attack and Katsuki remembers that the alpha had run out of time beforehand. He knows he won’t reasonably be able to do anything but that does not stop him from turning back.

And then Deku shoots forward like a bullet before Katsuki’s very own eyes, somehow thinking that he can do something to help All Might where others can’t. Katsuki makes a step to go after him but is halted by a cold hand on his shoulder.

“Stay,” his beta Orders, eyes glowing gold for a moment before Katsuki obeys.

He doesn’t want to. He wants to kick and scream and go after his alpha, but the omega deep inside him has recognized the Order for what it is. He couldn’t take a step forward even if he fought tooth and nail to break free from the shackles of the Order.

Even still, Katsuki manages to raise his arm and fire a long-range explosion right at the villain covered in hands. Katsuki thanks his alpha once more for a feature he had not thought to add himself when submitting the appropriate papers and applications for his hero uniform as the blast narrowly misses Hand Freak.

The other pro heroes arrive then, Hand Freak gets shot multiple times, and Cementoss throws up a barrier to hide All Might from view as Shitty Hair runs forward.

Katsuki feels the Order slide off him like a wave at that moment and shakes the beta’s hand off of him as he rushes to Deku’s side as soon as All Might has been secured properly.

“You’re such a fucking idiot, Deku,” Katsuki growls as he checks his alpha over, wincing at the broken legs. “And there you go again, breaking your fucking limbs like an overpowered dumbass. Stupid, self-absorbed alpha! What did you think you were gonna do for the number one hero, idiot?”

Katsuki looks up towards Deku’s face when his alpha doesn’t respond, lips turned down in a frown. Deku’s eyes are glowing gold and there’s someone standing over Katsuki’s shoulder, meeting Deku’s gaze while his eyes also glow gold. His alpha blinks, eyes returning to their normal shade of color, face pale as he looks towards Katsuki with a panicked expression. Katsuki only scoffs, rolling his eyes as he tries to get Deku to settle down before he causes himself even more harm.

Fucking Half-and-Half just has to be their mate, doesn’t he? Fucking hell.

Half-and-Half kneels down beside Katsuki and runs a hand through Deku’s hair, scent spiking with surprise when Deku relaxes. Katsuki chuffs under his breath, trying his best to ignore the golden warmth building up in his chest.

The paramedics that swoop down on them soon after disrupt the moment and Katsuki steps back so they can load Deku onto a stretcher. Another medic runs over to them and insists on checking them over for injuries, but Katsuki refuses. He doesn’t want to have someone shoving their hands under his shirt and exposing him to the rest of the class, fuck that.

Half-and-Half allows the medic to examine him quickly as Katsuki continues to argue with them, the beta’s expression kept perfectly blank. Katsuki is almost certain that he’s going to get away with not being cleared by a medical professional until Half-and-Half turns his head towards him and meets his gaze.

His eyes glow gold for the third time today as he Orders Katsuki again. “Let her check you over.”

Katsuki glares at him, moving towards the medic without wanting to. “Stop fucking ordering me around or I will kill you!”

Half-and-Half’s expression doesn’t change. “Midoriya-kun would not forgive me if I did not make sure you were properly looked over and cleared of injuries before you go to see him later.”

“Screw you, asshole!”

This time, Half-and-Half’s expression does change, the corners of his mouth lifting with the promise of a smile. “Maybe another time.”

Katsuki feels his brain stall, appalled that his quiet classmate was capable of humor. “That wasn’t an innuendo, you fucktard!”

“Okay,” Half-and-Half shrugs, not the least perturbed.

Katsuki breathes out through his nose as he turns to the medic, sensing that he isn’t going to get out of this until the Order slips off him again. “In private. I don’t need someone taking off my fucking shirt right here.”

The medic nods and leads him towards one of the idle ambulances waiting near the entrance. Katsuki can see his classmates crowded together, all of them looking perfectly fine, but he ignores them as the medic climbs onto the ambulance and waves him aboard. The doors are shut after him and Katsuki glowers at the medic as she checks him over.

The medic, fortunately, doesn’t comment on the binder she can feel in the top half of his hero uniform and sighs in relief as she gives him the all-clear. He nods his head, jaw clenched, and kicks open the doors of the ambulance.

Shitty Hair immediately approaches him, crowing with happiness about no one getting hurt. Katsuki feels himself growl at that, remembering Deku and his broken legs.

A warm hand grips his shoulder but he already knows from the scent alone who it could be, so he restrains himself lest stupid Half-and-Half fucking Orders him again. The fuckwad. As if Deku wouldn’t rip him a new one the moment he finds out about the Ordering.

But when Katsuki goes to see his alpha after school, he doesn’t mention it. Instead, he lets Deku grip his hand and tells him some mindless story to get his mind off what happened today.

  Deku makes an effort to include Todoroki (as he has insisted on them calling their mate) when they are together.

Todoroki just so happens to always decline.

Katsuki doesn’t take it to heart - he can only guess how ill-prepared their mate must feel - but Deku obviously does. Beforehand, he was okay with the distance Todoroki kept between him and Katsuki, but now that all three of them are mates, his alpha has changed his mind.

He wants to include Todoroki in almost everything they do. Katsuki doesn’t mind it, he’s just growing irritated every time their mate says no. Honestly, Katsuki is pretty sure that Todoroki wants nothing to do with them or the whole mates business either.

He’s sure about this being fact until almost a week after the USJ incident when they are getting changed for another special training exercise with All Might.

Katsuki is in the bathroom stall furthest away from the door that leads to the changing rooms and has just pulled his shirt off when the squeak of a sneaker against the linoleum floor makes him freeze. Slowly, he looks down at his feet and freezes when he finds the Perverted Grape peeking at him from underneath the stall beside him.

“Hey, everyone! Bakugou is a girl!” Perverted Grape yells loud enough for those in the locker room to hear him. “And she has some pretty great tits, too!”

Instantly, rage overcomes him at that moment and Katsuki roars, a loud explosion following the too high-pitched noise that escapes him. The stall door flies off its hinges and hits one of the mirrors, cracking it. Katsuki is too focused on murdering the Perverted Grape to realize that his classmates had run into the bathroom, witnessing him in a sports bra that leaves nothing to the imagination firing off at a streak of purple.

Katsuki freezes again, fear taking him by surprise once he notices his audience. He fights the urge to put his arms over his chest to cover himself up, his explosions dying in an instant.

Then Todoroki is there with a blank look on his face but a hint of rage colors his scent, the only incriminating thing that gives him away. He has a towel in his hands which he wraps around Katsuki silently, eyes trained on the Perverted Grape Motherfucker who is cowering in the corner of the bathroom. Katsuki feels something inside himself stutter, face starting to flush with shame, embarrassment, and a new boatload of anger before Todoroki speaks up.

“Midoriya, if you do not kill that sorry excuse for a hero-in-training for violating our mate’s privacy and misgendering him, I will.”

Katsuki feels his anger spike in indignation, face feeling much too hot as everyone’s gaze is drawn towards Todoroki now. His mate has his gaze pinned on Grape Motherfucker though, something dark and dangerous flashing in his eyes as he waits.

“You came in here to watch Kacchan change?” Deku asks, his voice kept deadly quiet and full of promise.

Grape Motherfucker starts to stutter out an excuse that is drowned out by the loud Alpha Roar Deku lets loose within the next moment. Katsuki shrinks back at the sound, relaxing when Todoroki moves with him, keeping the towel in place so no one is able to stare at his practically naked torso anymore. Deku’s eyes flash gold for a moment, rage coloring his usually kind face as Katsuki watches with a horrifying sense of adoration.

Katsuki is gearing himself up for a murder case involving Deku and Grape Motherfucker before Glasses rushes forward out of nowhere and restrains his alpha. Hundred Arms and Sugar Might come forward to help, all of them struggling with a snarling and furious Deku that Katsuki has never had the pleasure of seeing before. Deku looks beyond reason, eyes flashing gold again as he breaks free of Glasses arms, darting forward to tear Grape Motherfucker apart before he is captured by Hundred Arms instead.

“Midoriya-kun, stop this at once! Violence will solve nothing,” Glasses shouts, his pleas falling on deaf ears. “I already went and got Aizawa-sensei! He was right behind me. Please, stop!”

Glasses’ words do nothing to stop Deku. He only fights harder, almost managing to free himself from all three of the alphas holding him back when a sharp voice cuts through the air.

“What the hell is going on here?”

Katsuki looks up to find Aizawa-sensei standing behind their gathered classmates at the entrance to the bathroom. Aizawa-sensei takes in the scene, eyes darting from Deku, Grape Motherfuker, Katsuki and back underneath his bandages before his hands curl into fists at his sides and he steps forward. It’s clear what has happened, seeing as Katsuki’s status had been made aware to all the teachers, including those that oversee physical activities and Aizawa looks angry enough to strike fear in Katsuki himself. Katsuki’s classmates part to let their homeroom teacher through, everyone now holding their breath as they wait to see what will happen.

“Mineta, gather all of your belongings and report to the principal’s office to await punishment for violating the privacy of your fellow classmate,” Aizawa-sensei announces, looking over his shoulder to spare a bland look at the gathered crowd and ignoring the squeak of terror Grape Motherfucker makes. “Bakugou, Midoriya, and Todoroki, you three stay. The rest of you, clear out. All Might is waiting for you.”

Todoroki’s grip tightens on the towel as he moves in closer to Katsuki, shielding him from the others’ curious gazes as they leave. Deku snarls at Grape Motherfucker when he sprints past him out the door but doesn’t follow him like Katsuki knows his alpha wants to do. Eventually, it is only Katsuki, Todoroki, Deku and Aizawa-sensei left in the bathroom.

“Bakugou,” Aizawa-sensei says then, eyes trained on Todoroki’s back instead of Katsuki. “What happened?”

Katsuki stutters through his explanation, his face and his body feeling too hot as he does. He still feels angry, but now there is embarrassment coloring his mood and a deep pit of shame that makes Katsuki want to blow up an entire building and then some. Deku stumbles into the stall Katsuki was changing in earlier and returns with the shirt he had just taken off before that shitstorm began. His alpha hands it to him as he finishes talking, staying crouched by his side as Aizawa-sensei keeps staring at Todoroki’s back instead of Katsuki.

“I see,” Aizawa-sensei finally says, his voice cold and dead. “I will handle this problem then. In the meantime, you three need to update your forms and information before the sports festival next week. Go to the office after school and do that. You’re all excused from the training exercise today and may remain here.”

“But-!” Katsuki starts to say, feeling like he is going to vibrate out of his skin if he stays still for too long right now.

Aizawa-sensei cuts him off, voice still cold but not unkind. “This is not up for discussion.”

With that, their homeroom teacher strides away and Katsuki watches him leave, shifting with discomfort. Deku lays a hand on his shoulder, looking rattled. His alpha’s smile doesn’t meet his eyes and Katsuki flinches away, hating himself at that moment.

Todoroki’s hold loosens on the towel, shuffling backward to give Katsuki more space. He glares at his beta though, hand flashing out to grab his wrist and stop him.

“You have questions,” Katsuki says when Todoroki finally meets his gaze.

Todoroki shakes his head. “You don’t owe me anything.”

Katsuki scowls at him, taking his shirt from Deku. He twists out of the towel and stands, exposing his stomach, toned arms, and the black sports bra that Deku stares at for a moment before looking up towards Katsuki’s eyes.

“Kacchan, did you wear your binder for too long yesterday?” Deku asks, head tilted to the side in mild disapproval.

“Shut the fuck up, nerd. You don’t have any room to rag on me after what you just did,” Katsuki grumbles, pulling his shirt back on and kneeling so he isn’t towering over the other two anymore. “What the fuck was that anyway?”

Deku flushes. “I told you, Kacchan. I wouldn’t hesitate to go after anybody who insults or threatens you again, especially because of who you are.”

Katsuki’s scowl deepens, but he sighs and fixes his gaze on Todoroki instead, deciding to just rip the bandaid off before Deku can start overthinking anything. “In case you couldn’t tell, I’m trans. If that’s going to be a fucking dealbreaker for whatever the fuck we’re all going to build as mates, you can fuck off right now instead of wasting our time.”

“I don’t have a problem with that,” Todoroki responds, his tone flat now. “I don’t have a problem with either of you. You’re both my mates.”

As much as Katsuki wants to believe him, his recent behavior isn't supporting his claim very well right now. Todoroki must see it on his face because the beta blinks owlishly at him, then sighs and readjusts himself until he is sitting more comfortably on the bathroom floor.

"I had my suspicions on the first day of school. Cis male omegas are extremely rare and I knew that if you were one, you would have flaunted that," Todoroki explains, his dual-colored eyes on Katsuki. "Either way, it's not any of my business what or how you treat your body, Bakugou-kun. It is my business, however, when others think they have any right to disrespect you or other trans folk for simply being that."

Katsuki frowns. "Honestly, I didn't even think you cared enough about either of us to have this kind of thought process, fucking Half-and-Half."

"Kacchan," Deku whines, slapping Katsuki's arm half-heartedly. "Be nice."

"Deku," Kacchan mocks, slapping Deku's arm harsher than the alpha had. "Fuck no."

Todoroki shakes his head, the movement of two bright colors grabbing Katsuki's attention once more. "You are my mates and since I was curious, I did a lot of research during the first week of school. A lot of the transphobia I stumbled upon online made me angry and I told myself I would stay away, but what Mineta did today is unforgivable and I had to intervene, to do something."

Deku grins, resting his chin on Katsuki's shoulder. "Glad to know you agree then. You're having ice cream with us on Sunday and that's not a request."

Katsuki scowls and crosses his arms over his chest. "I'm paying."

"What? No, Kacchan! It's my turn," Deku whines again, hands gripping Katsuki's shoulders as he lightly shakes him.

"You can pay next time. Shut up, you dumbass, overprotective alpha," Katsuki spits.

Deku laughs, the sound light and bright as always. Katsuki finds himself smiling at the sound, only mildly surprised when Todoroki's lips start to curve into a smile as well before his expression smooths over again.

Katsuki looks over his shoulder, finding his alpha has noticed the same thing. They nod, deciding to do something about that.

With time, of course. No need to rush into something so precarious after all.

a/n: i'm still in the process of moving and i have no wifi so i'm using my phone's hot spot rn, but i managed to update on time! next ch might be up by next thursday, i'm not 100% sure honestly. you can always check my #progress-report tag tho :D if you have any side pairings you want to see, just lemme know! i really only have iida/uraraka/tsuyu decided on at this moment 

(this won't be addressed in the next ch but mineta does get expelled bc they find photos of the girls changing in the locker room when he goes to the principal's office after this)

thanks for reading! please remember that my requests are open (:

[qobiin]

when i fill them, they’ll shine forever | ch 4

pairing: todobakudeku (bakugou x midoriya x todoroki) 

genre: fluff, angst | abo au, canon-compliant 

warnings: swearing, trans male character, mild canon-typical violence 

word count: 4306

summary: Katsuki being an omega from birth changes a few things. 

chapter four of when i fill them, they’ll shine forever 

On the first day of school, Katsuki and Deku walk into class together.

The stuck up extra who called out Deku’s muttering during the written exam is already there and Katsuki leaves his alpha to it when Glasses stands up and apologizes to him. Katsuki feels smug as he watches another alpha praise his after insulting him beforehand. No other alpha has ever done that before as far as Katsuki can remember, so this is definitely a first.

It’s also pretty amusing watching his alpha stutter his way through the conversation, flushing a bright pink as time goes on. Slowly the class begins to fill, but Katsuki keeps his eyes on his alpha. He sits back in his seat, grinning when he sees that Deku is meant to sit behind him and kicks his legs up on the desk. Deku’s gaze keeps flickering over to him, pleading for an escape or mercy, but Katsuki only grins back.

His grin dies when a round-faced, brunette omega enters the classroom and immediately walks up to Deku. Her smile is too bright and he can smell the sugar on her scent, how it’s dialing up slowly as she leans further into his alpha’s face.

The omega in him growls ferociously as his alpha’s face turns from pink to red in an instant, stuttering and stammering too much for his liking. He has to stop himself from jumping out of his seat and scenting his alpha when Round Face thanks him for saving her during the exam and that she’s happy his broken limbs healed well.

Deku starts to yammer out something, but the door opens and their homeroom teacher appears.

Katsuki ignores his alpha once he has rushed to his seat and files out with the rest of class 1-A for the quirk tests Aizawa-sensei wants to hold. Deku trails after him to the boy’s locker room and distracts everyone as he takes his clothes and changes in the bathroom instead.

A few of the shitty extras still stare at him when he emerges, but Katuski ignores them and puts his clothes away in the locker. Deku is waiting for him by the door, changed and ready to go. Katsuki doesn’t speak a word and lets Deku mumble behind him as he leads the way to the field.

There Katsuki gets to show off his quirk in the ball throw and goes back to stand beside Deku, smugness radiating off him in waves while Deku mumbles his praises quietly to him. A grin starts to form on his face until Katsuki remembers he’s annoyed with his alpha and lets a scowl take over his lips instead.

After that, Katsuki is too focused on the tests to care about anything else. He knows that Deku is struggling and growing discouraged with each test they finish, but he forces himself not to care about it. He hates how panicky and unsure Deku became once he was face-to-face with a female omega who didn’t sneer at him.

It makes him feel like he doesn’t matter all that much to his own alpha if another omega can garner that kind of response from him.

He snarls at Round Face’s infinity result on the ball throw and has to hold himself back when their homeroom teacher uses his confinement weapons on his alpha when he steps up to take his own turn. The others must take notice of his anger because a bubble of space soon forms around him and Katsuki growls at whoever dares to side-eye him.

When Deku picks up the ball again and throws it farther than Katsuki would ever fucking believe, he almost storms right over there and demands what the fuck was that from his alpha. Almost.

He remembers who Deku’s father is, remembers that if Deku did have a quirk all this time then it was probably kept secret for the same reason his parentage is. So instead of going over there and giving the alpha a piece of his mind, he growls out, “Stupid fucking Deku!”

Deku looks over at him and grins, pumping a fist into the air. Katsuki almost smiles, but refrains, keeping his glare flinty as he gazes at the shitty extras now staring at him again. He growls a warning and feels a burst of anger in his chest when that does little to deter the staring.

His alpha rejoins him and settles himself comfortably against Katsuki’s side, nursing what looks like a broken finger. Katsuki rolls his eyes and shoves at his alpha’s shoulder, smirking when their classmates’ eyes widen at the action.

“Better stop breaking shit, Deku, or I’m gonna break it for you instead,” Katsuki grumbles, fighting back a laugh as the sound of a collective inhale is heard from all directions.

Deku only smiles. “Okay, Kacchan.”

Katsuki rolls his eyes and continues on with the rest of the test, keeping an eye on his injured alpha. At the end when the results of the tests are revealed and Aizawa-sensei explains that he wasn’t going to actually expel anyone, Katsuki glowers at their homeroom teacher. He knows that he wasn’t lying in the beginning, but it’s also obvious that he changed his mind when he saw that Deku had placed last.

Fucking Deku already living the privileged life of a Pro Hero’s kid.

Aizawa-sensei dismisses them then, handing Deku a note for the nurse’s office. Katsuki turns with the others to follow them back to the locker room when Deku wraps his arms around Katsuki’s shoulders and shoves his nose into his scent gland. His alpha only stays there for a second before he’s stepping back and waving goodbye.

“I’ll meet you at the front gates after school, Kacchan. Bye!” Deku says before he turns and leaves.

Katsuki has half a mind to follow after him and give him a piece of his mind when he notices all the stares, but instead settles for yelling, “Fuck you, Deku!”

Deku laughs and continues to walk away, still dressed in his blue uniform. Katuski grumbles all the way to the locker room and changes quickly, returning to their homeroom where Aizawa-sensei is handing out syllabi. Katsuki takes two and decides to look his over with Deku later when they hang out in his room.

The final bell rings after that and Katsuki makes his escape, not wanting to run the risk of getting caught up in any small talk with these fucking extras. Katsuki saw what most of their quirks were capable of and he finds them lacking.

At the entrance gate, Katsuki leans back and waits, ignoring his new classmates who bid him goodbye. He keeps his eyes glued on the main building so he doesn’t miss the moment when Deku steps out, head held low again.

Katsuki feels a rush of anger thinking of what someone may have told his alpha when he wasn’t around but beats it down. He can wait the few minutes it will take Deku to reach him.

Or maybe not.

Deku has just made it halfway towards the entrance gate when Glasses calls out to him, Round Face running after them while she yells at them to wait up for her soon after. Katsuki feels the anger in him rise up again as Deku goes bright red as soon as Round Face has caught up.

He turns and leaves, not wanting to walk home with his alpha when his alpha doesn’t need him to.

Katsuki makes it to the train station in under three minutes and boards a train, taking a seat and laying back as he looks for his earbuds. Upon finding them, he slips them on and blasts his “angry at fucking deku” playlist he has spent years building. He settles into his seat as the notes of the second song hit him and then frowns as his phone rings.

It’s Deku.

Katsuki answers on the last ring. “What.”

“Hey, Kacchan! Where are you? I’ve been waiting for you at the entrance gates for a while now, but I don’t see you anywhere,” Deku’s bright voice filters through his earbuds.

“I’m on a train home, fucking nerd.”

Katsuki catches the sound of two distinct voices asking Deku what’s wrong and Deku shushing them before speaking into the phone again. “But I thought-”

Katsuki cuts him off, his nerves frayed. “Don’t you have more important people to talk to than me?”

Silence. Such a heavy silence that Katsuki can hear the rumbling of the train underneath him, the murmuring of conversations between passengers in the car. On Deku’s end, Katsuki can’t hear anything except for his alpha’s unsteady breathing.

“Kacchan, did I do something wrong?” Deku asks.

His voice sounds so small and tired that Katsuki immediately wants to run to wherever the fuck he may be and deck him for reverting into old habits so easily. They have both put too much work into Deku's self-esteem for his alpha to fall back into himself like glass.

“No,” Katsuki sighs, the fight leaving him in an instant.

Deku’s voice is steadier and softer when he murmurs, “Okay… I love you. Please let me know when you get home so I know you got there safe. Do you want to walk to school together tomorrow?”

God, Katsuki does not deserve this kindness from his alpha right now. “I don’t know.”

“I’ll ask again in the morning then!” Deku brightens.

Katsuki hangs up and leans back into his seat, watching the scenery go by until his stop approaches. His walk from the station to his house is quiet, his playlist having ended a while ago. He keeps the earbuds in though, wanting to discourage any kind of conversation when he finally arrives home and steps through the front door.

His mom is in the kitchen, already working on dinner and Katsuki kicks off his shoes before joining her. She takes one look at him and sighs, holding her hand out for his phone which he hands over easily. His playlist begins to play again after a couple of swipes from her fingers and then the bluetooth speaker his mom keeps in the kitchen is turned on, his phone connecting with it after a beat.

The volume is lowered only a smidgen, but it’s still loud enough to drown out his thoughts.

They manage to finish the preparations for dinner quickly and Katsuki takes his phone with him when he retreats to his room. He changes and takes off his binder, pulling his sports bra on instead before he looks over the syllabus and glares at the extra one he had grabbed for Deku.

He tries to ignore it but fails and finally gives in.

“I’ll be back before dinner, old hag!” Katsuki yells at the front door while he slips his shoes back on.

His mom waves him out and Katsuki stomps his way over to Deku’s house.

Auntie greets him as he walks in after he has unlocked the door using the key she had given him when he was seven. He gives her a polite greeting in kind, taking his shoes off and setting them neatly beside the others before he walks into the kitchen where she’s working on dinner herself.

“Will you be staying for dinner, Katsu?” Auntie Inko asks with that bright smile of hers that Deku ended up inheriting.

Katsuki only shakes his head, holding up the syllabus in his hand. “No. Just came to drop this off, but thank you, Auntie.”

She hugs him and Katsuki lets himself enjoy for it a brief moment. Auntie Inko is one of the few people who he would ever let embrace him with no consequences. His dad is another and his mom since she rarely ever initiates physical contact, but Deku only ever falls into that category when Katsuki is feeling down or too tired to be angry.

Auntie lets go of him, smiling and running a hand through his hair for a moment before she steps back and turns towards the stove. “Izuku’s in his room, sweetie. If you change your mind about dinner, I can always call your mom. And I can’t wait to hear about your first day at UA this weekend at lunch.”

Katsuki nods, a weak smile on his face as he turns away and walks down the hallway to Deku’s bedroom. The door is open, the curtains drawn back so the sunlight hits his figurines just right at this time of day. Deku is at his desk, muttering to himself as he writes furiously in what looks like a new notebook. Katsuki strides over and slams the syllabus down on the desk, laughing when Deku jumps and falls out of his chair.

“Got you one of these since you didn’t come back from the nurse’s office. That a new notebook, nerd?” Katsuki asks, smiling when Deku looks up at him from the floor.

“Kacchan, you scared me! And I know you didn’t even knock because I would have heard it,” Deku pouts.

Katsuki laughs and pulls Deku up, tugging his alpha with enough strength that they end up pressed against one another, chest-to-chest. Deku flushes once he notices their proximity and Katsuki grins, leaning in before he can think better of it.

Their lips meet in a gentle slide. Deku’s are chapped, but soft and they open for him easily when Katsuki’s tongue prods his bottom lip. Katsuki buries his hands into Deku’s messy hair and breathes in the smell of his alpha, brows furrowing when he smells too much of Round Face and Glasses on him. Deku wraps his arms around his waist and keeps him in place, pressing his nose into Katsuki’s throat when their lips break apart for air.

Katsuki lets his alpha scent him, scrambling to wrap his arms around his neck when Deku bends and picks him up bridal style. His alpha carries them to the bean bag Katsuki bought for him when their makeout sessions became a thing and sits on top of it, rearranging Katsuki on his lap until they are both comfortable. Katsuki pushes his nose into Deku’s scent gland and rubs his face into it, only satisfied with his work when he can only smell himself, Deku, and faint traces of Auntie and All Might.

Deku kisses his forehead and runs his hands through his spiky, blonde hair. He hums a song Katsuki doesn’t recognize but relaxes as the minutes go by.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Deku asks once he has made a mess of Katsuki’s hair.

Katsuki shrugs, knowing that half the reason he came was to get shit off his chest or run the risk of being angry and pissed off for the rest of the week. “I don’t like her.”

“Who?” Deku asks, his head tilted to the side in confusion as he looks down at Katsuki in his lap.

Katsuki sucks on his teeth, arms now crossed over his chest. “That round-faced shithead omega you kept talking to today.”

Deku’s eyes widen for a fraction of a moment before he’s back to looking confused. “Why?”

There’s the question of the hour. Katsuki sighs and settles himself more comfortably in Deku’s embrace, leaning his head against his alpha’s chest where he can hear his steady heartbeat.

“Because of how you reacted to her,” he finally admits, hating the stupid jealousy he can feel gurgling in his stomach. “You’ve never fucking reacted like that when it comes to me, even when I was still dressing like a stupid girl. Do you like her more than you like me, shit nerd?”

Deku sputters above him, his face a bright red once more. “No! She just… She surprised me. She makes me really nervous since she’s so kind to me. I’m not used to people I don’t know very well being nice to me. It kind of felt like I was waiting for her to lure me into some hurtful prank the entire day honestly. Iida I could kind of understand because I’m pretty sure he was treated the same way I was before, but Uraraka-kun just caught me completely off guard.”

“I would kill her if she even dared to think of it,” Katsuki growls, hackles raised again.

Deku smiles at him, running his fingers through his hair once more. “She’s a classmate. You shouldn’t say that, Kacchan.”

Katsuki only glowers at him. “But I would do it. No one hurts my alpha.”

"I know, Kacchan," Deku smiles fondly, leaning down to kiss his forehead. "You'll always protect me, right?"

"Of course, idiot. Not that it looks like you need my protection much anymore," Katsuki scoffs, red eyes burning holes into Deku's shoulder.

Deku sighs, deflating as the bean bag swallows him up. "I'm sorry. I meant to tell you earlier, but-"

"I'm not mad," Katsuki interrupts, frowning at the look on Deku's face.

"Y-You're not?"

Katsuki shrugs his shoulders, still avoiding Deku's direct gaze. "It's for your and Auntie's protection, right? Since you're All Might's son and a fuckton of villains would try using you and her against him, especially if those dumbasses found out your quirk is like his."

Deku blinks, face carefully blank. "What?"

Katsuki blinks back at him mockingly. "Don't be such a shithead. It wasn't hard to figure out Yagi-san and All Might were the same person. You two suck at keeping things casual between you since he looks at you like my dad looks at me. All proud and fond and other emotional crap."

"What?" Deku repeats.

"Don't act stupid, that will make me mad!"

Deku only blinks back at him in shock, seemingly not comprehending anything being spoken. Katsuki sighs and crosses his arms over his chest, waiting.

Eventually, his alpha returns to his senses and tells him the truth. All of it.

"So All Might isn't your biological father then?" Katsuki asks once Deku has finished.

Deku flushes a light pink and shakes his head. Katsuki scowls at him and huffs, "Doesn't mean he isn't like your dad anyway."

"Kacchan," Deku whines. "Stop it."

"Not until you stop denying you're not all father-and-son with each other, fucking Deku. My theory would make for a great cover story though," Katsuki points out, grinning when Deku's blush darkens. "What? Too fucking embarrassed to tell him yourself?"

Deku frowns at him. "Stop it, Kacchan."

Katsuki rolls his eyes. "Fine, but only if you make out with me until I leave."

"Deal," Deku agrees instantly, his eyes darkening as Katsuki's hands slide up and over his chest before burrowing themselves into his hair.

Deku leans down at the same time that Katsuki leans up. Their noses bump against one another but then their lips meet and Katsuki's too busy burying himself in his alpha's scent to care about anything else.

(Katsuki goes home later reeking of Deku and growls when his mom tries to force him to take a shower.)

  Katsuki ends up taking a shower the next morning before he leaves for school. Deku comes up to their door and accepts the rice balls Katsuki's dad shoves at him before he leaves for work.

Deku eats the rice balls one-handed as they walk to the train station, his other hand grasped firmly in Katsuki's own. Katsuki leads the way onto the train and finds them seats quickly, claiming the window seat so Deku can lean on him.

By the time they get off the train and walk up to UA's gates, Deku reeks of Katsuki with only faint traces of Auntie disrupting his alpha's scent. Katsuki feels smug as they walk to class 1-A hand-in-hand. Plenty of other students stare at them, but no one comments on their hands or close proximity which Katsuki appreciates. It's much too early to deal with all these shitty extras and their stupid questions.

When they enter 1-A, most of their classmates are already there including Round Face and Glasses. A hush of silence falls on those present as Katsuki leads the way to their desks, tugging Deku along behind him. He knows that they both absolutely reek of one another and that someone would have to be blind and have a broken nose to not notice the blatant claims they have laid on one another. It's still hilarious for Katsuki to see the bewildered look on his classmates' faces as he, an omega, leads and an alpha follows after him willingly.

Katsuki sits first, only letting go of Deku's hand once his alpha makes a move to sit down as well. That seems to be all that is needed before the silence is broken.

"Midoriya-kun, are you and Bakugou-kun...?" Glasses races up to their desks to ask, trailing off as he tries to think of an appropriate word to use.

Deku looks up from his backpack where he was pulling out his notebooks and pencils. "Oh, good morning, Iida-kun! Sorry if I didn't mention this before, but Kacchan and I are mates."

Katsuki bristles when an eruption of whispers follows. He opens his mouth to yell at all the extras to shut the fuck up before Glasses speaks up first.

"Ah, I see! Well, that would explain a lot actually. Did you have to fill out papers giving your omega permission to enter UA's hero course? I know most schools do not welcome omegas into their hero courses without permission from both the omega's parents and alpha, mate or not. How difficult was the paperwork?" Glasses asks, attention solely focused on Deku now, something that Katsuki does his best not to be angry about.

"Iida-kun," Deku says, his voice serious and eyes dark as he peers up at the tall alpha. Katsuki almost shivers when he catches the bitterness of ozone souring Deku's scent. "Kacchan is right here. Do not speak of him as if he isn't present. That isn't any way to treat your classmates, no matter their sub-gender. You should treat everyone equally."

"Shut the fuck up, Deku," Katsuki growls. "I don't need you defending me or some shit."

Deku turns in his seat and smiles. "I know, Kacchan. Sorry."

"I apologize, Bakugou-kun. I will do my utmost best to treat you and others respectfully in the future. Please forgive me!" Glasses shouts as he drops into a low bow before Katsuki.

Katsuki scoffs, trying not to show how pleased he feels. "Yeah, whatever. Just don't fucking do it again or I'll blast your face off."

Glasses stands up quickly, looking visibly alarmed until Deku laughs then throws an eraser at Katsuki's head. "Kacchan, be nice."

Katsuki catches the eraser before it can strike him and throws it back at his alpha, cackling when it hits his nose. "Shut the fuck up, nerd."

  Katsuki and Deku absolutely destroy Glasses and Round Face during the mock battles.

At first, All Might in his hero form pulls their names out on opposing teams but then grimaces before he switches them around. No one is stupid enough to pit mates against each other in this kind of environment, especially alpha-omega mates.

They become the hero team and easily capture the weapon following Deku's foolproof plan. Except, when Deku's arm breaks, Katsuki almost forgets about their plan and rushes to Deku's side instead.

He doesn't, thankfully, and they win, but watching his mate be carted away to the nurse's office makes him feel sick. Katsuki has always valued victories over anything when it comes to hero work, but if winning means seeing his alpha hurt, Katsuki doesn't want it. He has a lost a number of things because of Deku but Katsuki has never held that against him. Of course, he is competitive and brash, that's really a given. It's just that Deku means more to him than anything - even winning.

Which is why he grumbles and sits in the very back of the observation room with everyone else as they watch the mock battles. He wants to go to the nurse's office and make sure Deku isn't hurting himself trying to downplay the injury or something else as equally stupid. Instead, he has to sit here and watch the stupid fights. Katsuki doesn't pay a lot of attention to the battles, only sparing the screens another glance when that Half-and-Half extra with the stupid hair freezes the entire building.

Katsuki watches him as he returns to the room and their eyes meet as Half-and-Half ducks through the entrance.

He freezes when he realizes that Half-and-Half's eyes are glowing a soft gold.

The motherfucker takes a step in his direction, eyes wide, but that's all Katsuki needs to turn tail and run the fuck out of there, uncaring of All Might's yelling behind him. His trip to the nurse's office is quick but he stops outside the door all the same. The binder in his hero uniform feels constricting enough for him to unlatch it at the side, grudgingly thanking his alpha for thinking of the feature in the first place.

He had wanted a built-in binder without a doubt, but he wasn't all that concerned with taking the binder off if he spent too much time in the uniform. Deku had frowned over his application and sketches before he added the clasp detail and leveled Katsuki with a glare so rare that he did not even think of arguing with his alpha over the addition to his hero uniform.

Really glad about that now as his lungs expand regularly and his breaths come to him normally once more.

He knocks on the door and waits patiently to be told to enter. He needs to see his alpha right now and talk about all the crazy shit he can just feel approaching.

Katsuki can only hope that he won't grow used to visiting the nurse's office because of Deku and fucking One For All.

a/n: if you’re interested about how this is all coming together, check out my #progress-report tag! i might not be able to update next thursday as scheduled because i’m in the process of moving, but i’m going to aim for thursday and if i happen to be late, just give me a lil nudge to remind me

thanks for reading! please remember that my requests are open (:

[qobiin]

when i fill them, they’ll shine forever | ch 1

pairing: todobakudeku (bakugou x midoriya x todoroki) 

genre: fluff, angst | abo au, growing up au, canon-compliant 

warnings: swearing, trans male character, mentioned instances of transphobia, coming out, gender dysphoria  

word count: 3152 

summary: Katsuki being an omega from birth changes a few things.

day four of @bnhaomegaverseweek (hoping my love will keep you up tonight) 

chapter one of when i fill them, they’ll shine forever 

“Wow, Kacchan, your quirk is so cool! I hope my quirk will be as awesome as yours!”

Katsuki keeps her gaze forward, a wide grin spread across her face as Deku allows her to lead. It’s not often that people let her lead, unfortunately. How she longs for the chance though! She would show everyone a thing or two about proper leadership. But she is an omega and none of the alphas at school would ever let her take control. No matter how capable she’s proven herself to be, no matter how much stronger and cooler her quirk is than anybody else’s. 

Well, none of the alphas except for Deku. He always lets her. 

Her alpha always lets her do what she wants. He has never held her back and has never Ordered her around. She has always been the one to take charge between them and he never gets mad at her for it. In fact, if she didn’t know any better, she would say that he wants her to be the one in charge.

She tightens her hold on the large net in her hands and strides forward confidently. “I’m sure it will be, Deku!”

Of course, neither of them know that they’ll be wrong, but they continue onward anyway, smiling as if nothing could ever disrupt the dreams they have built up around each other.

Katsuki has known Deku as long as she has known her own parents.

He’s been a constant in her life for as long as she remembers. Her mom likes showing off the multitude of photos of them in the bathtub when they were babies. Katsuki would probably find it embarrassing if she didn’t still take baths with Deku now. The collection only continues to grow to her dismay, but Katsuki doesn’t say anything.

She doesn’t mind it. Not too much anyway. Deku is her mate and her alpha after all. He likes bathtime with her, so she doesn’t complain.

Even if she feels weird whenever she notices that the bottom half of their bodies aren’t the same, she keeps her feelings and words to herself. It’s something she’s actually quite good at.

Of course, she does explode at school. A mess of curses and bloody fists as she fights all those that try and hurt her alpha or any of the other quirkless kids in their class, but that’s a given.

No one hurts her alpha. No one is allowed to hurt her mate.

She still remembers when they both knew they were mates because it was Deku’s third birthday and when she came over for his party, their eyes met and glowed gold. She couldn’t forget the way the light glimmered on his face and made his freckles stand out so much. She swore to herself after that no one was allowed to hurt what was hers.

Heroes are supposed to protect those that can’t protect themselves and she wants to be a hero.

And she’ll be one. With a quirk like hers, with an alpha that lets her do what she wants, she can do it. She’ll surpass All Might and be number one. Deku will be her support or maybe he’ll take up her offers on training together and become a hero himself. It doesn’t matter if he’s quirkless.

They can do it.

They can do anything if they're together.

 “You’re just a useless Deku! You’ll never be a hero if you’re quirkless!”

“Who the fuck are you calling useless, you piece of shit!” Katsuki yells, running forward to pin the beta to the wall. 

Deku still stands where he was before, pressed against the other wall and trying to look as small as possible. Katsuki has told him over and over again that the bullies will leave him alone if he fights back just once. Just one punch, one shove back, one mean word in their direction to make them back off. Katsuki can’t be the only one holding off bullies for the rest of their lives after all. But she knows he won’t do it. 

He’s too nice, too kind. Too soft and forgiving for any of the crap he gets. And he deserves none of the venomous words spat his way. Katsuki is more than sure of that.

She hates the fear that is wafting off her alpha in waves. It makes her hackles rise and something primal in her howl for blood, to protect, to defend. She shakes the beta in her hold and lets him fall to the floor unceremoniously when he nearly pisses his pants. She knows just how scary she can be when she wants to be, especially thanks to her explosive quirk. People know better than to go after Deku when she’s around, but sometimes, there are the stupid shitheads like this beta. The ones who think they have any fucking right to tell her alpha what to do.

The way Katsuki sees it, if she isn’t allowed to push Deku around, then no one is.

“Don’t talk to my alpha ever again or I’ll make you fucking regret it!” Katsuki yells at the beta’s retreating back, glaring at him and all those around them that stood by and did absolutely nothing, the spineless bastards. “What are you shitty extras looking at!”

The other kids scatter, spooked and terrified of her anger. Katsuki watches them go then turns and takes Deku’s hand. She coaxes him away from the wall, gentle only for him, and leads him down the hall until they enter the playground. They’re both silent as they walk, but Katsuki doesn’t let it remain that way for long.

“Why do you let them treat you like that?” Katsuki asks once they have reached their tree near the edge of the schoolyard. “You know I don’t like it.”

Deku shakes his head and sits between the tree roots, his feet laid out in front of him. “I don’t know. I just freeze up every time it happens.”

Katsuki wants to say something. Deku looks so small at this moment, so lost, and all she wants to do is vow to always look after her alpha, but it wouldn’t be appropriate. She’s an omega and she knows that Deku would never get angry at her for this, but it just isn’t her place. It’s not.

No matter how much she wishes it was.

So she sits beside him instead and stays silent until Deku asks, “I’m not that great at protecting myself, but… You’ll protect me, right Kacchan?”

Katsuki sniffs, trying not to let her pleasure bleed through. “Do you want me to?”

“Always,” is Deku’s solemn answer. 

“Then,” Katsuki begins with a grin that slowly grows until it is spread wide across her face, “I’ll beat the shit out of anyone who tries to hurt you, Deku!”

She pumps her fist into the air to show she’s serious and has to fight back a laugh when Deku smiles at her. It’s her favorite smile, the one he reserves solely for her and her alone. It’s sweet and cute and always makes Katsuki a little nervous to look at, but she keeps his gaze anyway and startles when he leans in.

Deku’s lips are soft on her cheek and only stay there for a moment before he pulls back. She presses a hand to her face and feels it warm underneath her touch. Katsuki hopes she isn’t blushing tomato red like Deku sometimes does. That would be embarrassing and Katsuki doesn’t do embarrassing.

They continue on like normal, but for the rest of the day, Katsuki catches herself subconsciously raising a hand towards the cheek Deku kissed.

 Katsuki holds still as Deku rubs his face into her neck.

He has started to scent her every time they come back from school. The first time, she had held so still she barely thought to breathe before he abruptly pulled away and reminded her.

She knows that the scenting is a form of comfort. That it’s to make his scent lay heavy on her, to drive away other alphas and betas that might be interested. She learned that much from her father when Deku turned six and said he was surprised that Deku hadn’t tried scenting her earlier. She knows what it’s for and that it’s to reassure Deku, but she can’t help but feel uncomfortable.

Because it leaves Deku smelling of her in return, which normally she wouldn’t mind, but she doesn’t like the way she smells. 

Her scent is too floral, too sweet and sugary and makes her insides twist into knots. It makes her want to bury herself in Deku’s scent instead, but that wouldn’t help much.

And, of course, Deku notices how stiff she is, how she forces herself not to react when he scents her. He isn’t stupid. Her alpha is one of the smartest people she knows. How else would he be able to remember so much about heroes and their quirks?

So Deku asks if he can scent her. He always asks and if she hesitates for too long, he steps back and gives her space. He never crowds her and he never tries to force anything. He is always so good to her, even when she feels like she doesn’t deserve it.

Something in her twists and coils at the barest hint of her scent. On some days, she feels sick just being in her body and having to smell herself every second of the day.

She starts showering a lot more often than what is necessary and sprays her father’s cologne on herself in the mornings. It calms her, more than she ever realized.

Deku doesn’t comment on it. He doesn’t press her for answers or asks questions. He simply accepts it as a new part of her and smiles every time she allows him to scent her.

It doesn’t solve everything for her, but it helps. It helps her start to feel comfortable in her own body again and that’s what matters.

 When Katsuki is seven, he knows.

He knows and no wonder he has never felt right. No wonder he hates his natural scent and his stupid long hair.

No wonder he hates his body so much.

It’s the wrong one.

He was born in the wrong kind of body.

 A few weeks after his eighth birthday, he tells Deku.

It has been eating away at him, his alpha not knowing. Deku knows everything about him. Katsuki has never held a secret from him. His alpha has always been his sole confidant. Always.

And it’s about time he tells him. For his own sanity at least. Maybe it will help or maybe it will not, but Katsuki won’t know until he tries.

“I’m not a girl,” Katsuki murmurs, for once on the verge of tears as he admits his darkest secret to his alpha. “I’m not.”

Deku stares at him, confusion on every line of his face. “Then what are you?”

“A boy.”

Deku nods but says nothing. Instead, he taps his fingers on his chin and studies Katsuki like this is the first time he has ever seen him. 

(And well, it’s not like that analogy is wrong.)

“I’m sorry.”

Deku frowns, his confusion growing. “What for?”

Katsuki hates the fact that his alpha is acting so dense. Of course, he has to know what for! Deku is one of the smartest people he knows. He knows Deku knows what he’s talking about.

It’s clear though that Deku is waiting for him to say it. For him to lay it all out there and open up for once.

He groans and rubs a hand through his hair, his fingers twisting into the ends of it now that it is a lot shorter than before. “Because we’re mates and you wanted a fucking girl as your mate, right? And I had to go and fucking ruin shit by being born in the stupid, wrong body.”

Deku’s expression cycles through a myriad of emotions. First anger, then confusion again, then irritation, and then a steady calm that does absolutely fucking nothing to settle Katsuki’s nerves.

“Kacchan, I want you,” Deku finally says. 

Katsuki feels his head snap up in surprise, meeting his alpha’s gaze without meaning to. Deku doesn’t falter, doesn’t let any hesitation or uncertainty slip into his voice as he continues and in the back of his head, Katsuki is grateful for it.

“You can be whoever or whatever you want to be. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Especially not me, Kacchan,” Deku says, reaching out and taking Katsuki’s hands in his own. “I’m not in charge of your body. You are.”

“But, you’re my alpha. You have the right to tell me what to fucking do!”

Deku steps closer. “I am. I am your alpha and I will always be your alpha if you want me to be. But it’s not my place to tell you what to do. I would like to go our whole lives without Ordering you. You make your own decisions for yourself, Kacchan. That isn’t mine to take away from you. It wouldn’t make me a very good alpha and I want to be the best alpha for you.”

Shit, he really is going to cry, isn’t he? Fuck.

“I want to be the best alpha for the best version of you, whatever or whoever that might be. I’m not going to take your free will away, not ever,” Deku continues, his stupid green eyes already overflowing with tears. “You deserve the best kind of alpha, Kacchan.”

Katsuki buries his face in Deku’s shoulder and tries to stifle his sobs, but ultimately fails.

 Later, once Katsuki is sure there is no trace of his stupid tears, he pulls away from Deku’s embrace.

Deku watches him warily, waiting to see if it really is the end of their crying fit. Or Katsuki’s crying fit, at least. Deku never really seems to run out of tears. He has always been a huge crybaby and that alone would irritate Katsuki if he was any other person, but Deku is Deku and Katsuki doesn’t have it in him to find his alpha annoying or irritating.

At least, not usually anyway.

“Do you want to tell Auntie and Uncle?” Deku asks, his voice still warbled by tears.

Katsuki stomps down the heart-wrenching fear that question brings with it and makes sure his voice is steady when he says, “I don’t know how they’ll react.”

“They’ll support you,” Deku says without missing a beat. “They love you.”

“They love their daughter,” Katsuki hisses, unable to stop his voice from shaking and cracking in multiple places as he does.

Deku’s face is still wet with tears, but his voice doesn’t waver and neither does his resolve. “No. They love you, Kacchan.”

Shit. He just finished crying too. Fucking hell.

 Katsuki ends up telling his parents.

They don’t make a big deal out of it and they don’t disown him like he feared they would. Instead, his father goes out and gets him a boy’s uniform for school. Katsuki is wary but wears it anyway.

The first day he goes to school in it, people stare at him. Sometimes it looks like his teachers are going to point it out and say something, but for the most part, people are quiet. They don’t say anything to his face yet that doesn’t mean they don’t say anything at all.

Which is something he quickly learns when Deku gets suspended from school for fighting.

Katsuki storms into his apartment afterschool - spares a moment to politely greet Auntie Inko - and then barges into Deku’s room where he is lying on his bed.

“Who the fuck did you fight?” Katsuki spits out.

Deku sits up slowly, surprised to see him. “Oh! Kacchan, I didn’t think you’d hear about that so soon.”

“Of course, I fucking heard about it! It’s all anyone wants to talk about at school. The stupid extras wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone, asking why you did it and a whole bunch of other shit.”

Deku hums, like that in itself can be an answer, but Katsuki steps forward and jabs his finger into his alpha’s chest. “So why the fuck did you do it, huh? Did you finally snap?”

“I guess you could call it that,” Deku replies, his head tilted to the side as if this entire conversation is difficult. “I mean, I sort of did?”

Katsuki growls, “What made you snap? You’re full of fucking rainbows and sunshine and other mushy shit. What pissed you off so bad you finally fought back?”

“Do you really want to know?” Deku asks, oddly serious.

“Yes! I wouldn’t be fucking asking otherwise!”

Deku smiles at him, like what he just said was hilarious. The little shit. Katsuki exhales and fights the urge to tackle his alpha. He knows how well that would work out and he doesn’t want to be pinned down right now.

Something in him tells him he is going to need space after Deku finally fucking answers him.

“Someone pointed out your uniform and said some things I don’t want to repeat.”

Katsuki freezes, his breath caught in his throat. “What the fuck.”

Deku shrugs. “I know that I’m a pushover most of the time, but something in me didn’t like the way that other alpha talked about you and before I knew it, I had kicked him in the face.”

“What the fuck,” Katsuki repeats.

“Sorry. I probably shouldn’t have done that, but I’m your alpha and I know I don’t really act as an alpha should, but you’re my mate. You’re mine and no one gets to say the kind of stuff about you. Especially not in front of me,” Deku says, his eyes darkening for a moment before he exhales and his usual bright smile greets a stunned Katsuki. “I know you don’t like it when others help you. I’m sorry, but I won’t hesitate to do it again.”

Katsuki watches him, confused and pissed off, but pleased too. Way too pleased actually. Pleased enough to not act on his anger, to not go after that alpha himself, to not fight his own alpha. Beyond the pleasing feeling is something else much more fragile and shy swooping low in his belly.

He just fucking fell in love right now, didn’t he? Is that what the swooping feeling is? Did it really take Deku finally getting violent for Katsuki to admit this to himself? Fucking hell. And fucking Deku and his stupid, gigantic, good heart too! His stupid gentleness and understanding and unfalteringly support. Deku’s dumbass bright smile, the scattered freckles on his face and the way the stupid fucking sun hits his eyes sometimes. Shit.

“You’re an idiot, Deku,” Katsuki finally manages to spit out.

Deku only smiles, his stance beginning to relax as he does. “Yeah. I know.”

a/n: if you’re interested about how this is all coming together, check out my #progress-report tag (:

thanks for reading! please remember that my requests are open 

[qobiin]

when i fill them, they’ll shine forever | ch 2

pairing: todobakudeku (bakugou x midoriya x todoroki)

genre: angst, fluff | abo au, growing up au, canon-compliant 

warnings: swearing, puberty, trans male character, gender dysphoria, blood 

word count: 4035 

summary: Katsuki being an omega from birth changes a few things. 

chapter two of when i fill them, they’ll shine forever 

Katsuki wakes up to blood spilling between his legs one morning when he is twelve.

He ends up burning the sheets and searing a hole into his carpet once he realizes what is going on.

His mom yells at him about it, but it’s half-hearted at best. Eventually, she sighs and disappears from his doorway before returning with something purple gripped tight in her hand. She gives him the pad and he looks at the stupid flowers covering it, wanting to scream. He wants to kick and yell and bite and cry.

His life is the fucking worst.

Deku catches onto his bad mood as soon as Katsuki has stepped out the front door but he says nothing as they walk to school. Katsuki would prefer it if he did though, at least it would stop him from getting irritated by feeling Deku’s eyes on him the entire fucking day.

Katsuki’s mood drops during the lunch hour when he has to change his pad and almost has a breakdown right there in the girl’s bathroom. He gets a grip on himself quickly though, absolutely refusing to cry in public. When he emerges from the bathroom - double-checking that no one saw him - and makes his way to their usual table, Deku is already there waiting for him.

His alpha still doesn’t say a word as he sits down, just puts a lunch box in front of him and starts to eat from his own. Katsuki feels like he’s going to vomit, but he pushes his rolling nausea down and brightens considerably once he catches sight of the leafy greens, pomegranate seeds and meat that Auntie Inko prepared for him. There are two rice balls as well, but compared to the six that Deku has in his lunch, it’s not a lot. Which is exactly how Katsuki likes it.

He digs his phone out of his pocket and sends a thank you text to Auntie before he begins to eat.

Deku finishes first and quickly packs up his lunch box. From there, it is almost impossible to ignore Deku’s staring.

“What?” Katsuki asks between bites of his rice ball.

“Do you wanna get ice cream with me after school?”

Katsuki blinks, taken by surprise. “No.”

Deku frowns. “But you’re not busy today, so why not?”

“Because,” Katsuki starts with, mumbling the rest of his sentence.

“Huh?”

Katsuki takes in a deep breath and makes sure his voice is steady. “Because I can’t have dairy products for the next couple of days. Or spicy food. Or caffeinated things.”

Silence greets him, allowing him to drown in nervousness, but it doesn't last for long.

“Okay. Let’s go to the store and buy some fruit instead. I bet Mom will prepare it all for us if we ask nicely,” Deku pipes up, one sole finger tapping against his chin. “If not, then it would be a great time for me to learn. I know you avoid chocolate, but let’s get some of that too. Dark chocolate and bananas sound good, don’t they?”

“I guess,” Katsuki mumbles, picking at his food. “I don’t care.”

Deku hums. “Do you need any aspirin? We could pick that up at the store too if we need to. Or I’m sure Mom wouldn’t mind giving you a few of hers. She gets really painful headaches, so she always keeps aspirin on hand.”

Katsuki sets his chopsticks down, glaring at the table. “Fine.”

“Okay, see you later! I need to go to the library and you need to finish eating or Mom will be disappointed. Bye, Kacchan!” Deku says while picking up his lunch box and scurrying away from the table.

Katsuki watches him go, glad for the time alone and the space that Deku is granting him right now. Deku always knows when Katsuki needs something and always gives it to him if he can. It’s just that Katsuki can’t help but feel guilty.

He never knows what Deku needs and if he does, then he never knows how to give it to him. He’s always left bumbling around, feeling useless and stupid. Katsuki understands that he is not a good omega in the traditional sense and that has never bothered Deku in the least, but sometimes, Katsuki wishes that he was a good, traditional omega. That he knew how to comfort his alpha and when to do it.

Maybe their roles should have been in reverse instead. Maybe-

Katsuki stops that line of thinking in its tracks. He doesn’t want to be Deku’s alpha. He wants to belong to someone, to have a place in a pack and have his mate watching his back. He wants to know without a doubt that he will be taken care of and that the same will be expected of him in return.

He doesn’t know what he would do if he was an alpha instead. Well, that's not right either. He does know what would have happened if he and Deku had been born with each other’s secondary gender. He would have fucked everything up, made things irreparable to the point that Deku would give up. Deku would be his hurt and damaged omega and it would be all Katsuki’s fault. Everything would have fallen into shambles, would have broken and never be glued back together again.

Things are better this way. At least if Katsuki goes too far, he knows that Deku will be able to rein him back in easily.

With his lunch finished, Katsuki packs up and makes his way to the library in search of his alpha.

  “Hey, do you want your gift now or in the morning?” Deku asks on Katsuki’s thirteenth birthday.

They’re having a sleepover, sleepy and warm after stuffing themselves full during Katsuki’s party earlier.

Deku had forced him to invite people from school and from the few that actually showed up, they managed to have an alright time. No one was mean or worded things in a way that would make Katsuki bristle with anger. People were nice to his alpha and they even cleared out an hour before Katsuki’s set deadline of kicking them out.

All in all, his birthday was fine. He opened his presents after everyone left and managed to convince their parents to let Deku spend the night. He had pulled out the futon his parents got him soon after he and Deku got too big to share Katsuki’s bed during sleepovers as kids and gave him his favorite pillow. They brushed their teeth side by side in front of the bathroom mirror and Deku changed in the bathroom while Katsuki changed in his room. Deku knocked and waited for a reply before he walked back in and they both climbed under the covers.

Now they are looking up at the ceiling in silence. Katsuki feels tired enough to fall asleep right now but Deku had pulled him aside in the morning and told him that he had a secret surprise for him that he would give to him after the party ended and they got a moment alone together.

“Now, before I fall asleep. We’ll forget about it in the morning,” Katsuki answers, rubbing at his eyes as he sits up in bed.

Deku gets onto his knees and crawls over to his backpack, pulling a long, flat box from it. It’s wrapped in red paper with bombs scattered across it periodically and Katsuki grins at those details before he rips into it.

Beside him, Deku snorts in amusement but doesn’t comment. Katsuki spares him a glance, still grinning and opens the box.

In it is a piece of shiny, black fabric.

“Deku, if you got me a fucking dress, I am going to decapitate you,” Katsuki growls, glaring over his shoulder at his alpha.

Deku only smiles back in reassurance. “Lift it up. Unfold it and you’ll see it’s not a dress. I would never insult you like that.”

Katsuki pulls his lips back and bares his teeth. “It better not be.”

He turns back to the box and picks up the fabric. It’s smooth and shimmery, but not in the way that he expects. When he holds it up in the moonlight, confusion swarms him. He detests dresses and skirts, but a crop top? Seriously? Just what kind of game is Deku playing here? Does he want Katsuki to kill him?

“Did you really wait until we were alone to give me a fucking crop top? Do you have a death wish, you fucking idiot?”

Deku shifts beside him, nervous and twitchy. “It’s not a crop top, Kacchan. It’s a binder.”

The binder falls from his hands and lands back in the box unceremoniously. Katsuki can barely remember to breathe as Deku goes terribly still beside him, the beginning of a mumbling storm already on the tip of his tongue. Katsuki looks at his alpha from the corner of his eye, watching as his face flushes in the dark and the moonlight falls across his hair. Deku's hands twist in his lap, the mumbling storm roaring to life within another instant of silence between them.

“If you don’t like it, I can return it and give you the money I used instead. I just thought you might like it since I overheard Auntie talking to Mom about you outgrowing another sports bra, so I started researching and found out that it’s okay to bind at any age as long as you do it safely. I started saving up then because the good ones are really expensive and I knew a cheap one wouldn’t work and would probably mess with your lungs or something even worse. This one had really great reviews and I didn’t think you would like a full tank top kind of binder, but then I had to wait because they ran out in black and I know you would have hated the other colors available. So then I started worrying that I wasn’t going to be able to get it in time for your birthday, but then two weeks ago, they re-stocked it and I bought it! It came to my house last week and Mom knows because the package got there while we were at school and she opened it to make sure it wasn’t like a bomb or something since you know how paranoid she can be. Which I don’t blame her for ‘cause sometimes villains target random people and it’s better to be safe than sorry, but yeah. She asked if it was for you and I can’t lie to her, so she knows, but she promised she wouldn’t mention it and she asked me if you were thinking about starting hormonal treatment when you’re old enough and I told her I didn’t know. I started doing research on that too and found out you can’t start those until you’re sixteen and only with parent’s permission and only if your doctor isn’t mean about it, which sucks because I don’t think doctors should have that kind of power over people who are trying to be okay with their bodies if they aren’t going to treat those people respectfully and such. I get it if it’s something that would put a person’s life in danger, but I just don’t- Ah!”

Deku only cuts off his long spiel when Katsuki turns and lunges at him. He squeaks in terror and stills as Katsuki throws his arms around him. Katsuki grips him tight, pressing his face into his alpha’s shoulder and inhaling deeply, feeling his eyes burn dangerously.

Another moment passes before Deku’s arms come down around him gently and suddenly Katsuki can’t fight the stupid tears that have been trying to escape him for the last five minutes. He knows Deku starts crying when his alpha sniffs and shifts until they end up lying on the floor, holding onto one another.

Katsuki is quiet as he cries, but Deku tightens his hold on him anyway when he starts shaking and runs a hand through his spiky hair.

“It’s okay. You’re amazing and you deserve to be happy, Kacchan. It’s okay. You can cry. You can be sad if you want to be. I know it hurts, it’s okay. I’m sorry,” Deku chants under his breath, voice cracking multiple times in between sentences.

He almost wants to tell his alpha to shut the fuck up and just let him cry, but the words, his scent, and his embrace are all comforting enough for Katsuki to allow it. Just this once.

Katsuki curls himself further into his alpha and cries himself out, hoping that if he does it now then he won’t do it again when he tries the binder on for the first time.

(He does.)

  “You can go straight home today, Kacchan. I have to stay after school for another talk with the school counselor.”

Katsuki frowns at Deku, raising one brow in silent question.

Deku shuffles awkwardly on his side of the lunch table, gaze stuck on the food that he has been picking at for the last twenty minutes instead of actually eating. “She wants me to consider other schools.”

In the sudden silence that befalls their table, Katsuki’s chopsticks snapping in half seem to echo around them. He’s so overcome with an indescribable wave of anger that he barely notices the fact that his palms are starting to smoke too.

“Kacchan, you’re gonna set off the fire alarm again,” Deku’s voice filters in through the omega’s haze of anger.

“I’m going to kill that bitch,” is Katsuki’s only answer.

Deku sighs, continuing to pick at his food now that Katsuki isn’t in danger of exploding their table (again). “Please, don’t. I already told her that it’s where you’re going and I plan to be with my mate, but she keeps insisting. She wants me to either pick more schools to apply to or apply to UA’s general course instead.”

“She can go die for all I fucking care,” Katsuki spits out. “Watch when you become the first fucking quirkless hero and at a stupid interview they ask about your childhood and you bring up that bitch’s name and this stupid, shitty school. They’ll regret the way they’re treating my alpha like he’s some weak, defenseless piece of shit!”

“I think that’s one of the nicest things you have ever said about me, Kacchan,” Deku murmurs, but there is a smile slowly blossoming on his face so Katsuki can hardly feel embarrassed about his outburst.

“Shut the fuck up, nerd. Go tell her that she can fucking suck it.”

Deku laughs, some of his normal behavior beginning to bleed through. Katsuki pats himself on the back for a job well done when Deku acts like he usually does for the rest of the lunch hour.

Once the final bell rings, Katsuki walks over to Deku’s desk and hauls them away into a secluded hallway where no one will bother them. Deku looks confused and smells nervous, but he calms considerably after Katsuki glares at him then pulls him into a tight hug.

They stand there embracing one another while subtly scenting the other, then Katsuki growls under his breath and breaks away.

“See you later, nerd! Mom’s making your favorite tonight, so you better fucking be there,” Katsuki yells over his shoulder.

Deku’s voice is light behind him. “Bye, Kacchan!”

  “Why the fuck did I have to fucking come and get it?” Katsuki mutters to himself, kicking a can angrily against the alley wall. “Fucking Deku and his stupid shitty taste in food!”

He knows he doesn’t mean it. He’s just angry his homework time is being cut into right now. All because his mom didn’t have the ingredients she needed for katsudon, Deku’s favorite, which Katsuki had angrily texted her about making tonight under the lunch table when Deku wasn't paying attention.

Whatever. As long as it makes Deku happy.

That’s his last cohesive thought before something dark and sludge-like crawls out of the shadows and engulfs him whole.

  After it is all said and done and the stupid heroes have finished ripping Deku a new one, Katsuki finds that he can barely even look at his alpha.

The heroes insist that Katsuki should be looked over by a medical professional, but he’s furious and the last thing he wants to do is take his shirt off in such a public space.

It doesn’t help matters that All Might is smiling and conversing with police and reporters alike, trying to make everything cheery as all hell. It doesn’t accomplish anything except making Katsuki even angrier than before.

Finally, when he is allowed to leave, Katsuki books it. Deku was allowed to leave first and probably decided to not wait up for him, thinking that Katsuki would actually let a paramedic check him out first. Fuck that.

In the distance, a familiar head of dark, curly hair appears and Katsuki kicks it into high gear, screaming at the top of his lungs.

“DEKU!”

He hates how his voice cracks, but there’s no helping it. There is no time either since Deku turns immediately to look at him.

“K-Kacchan! What are you doing?” Deku stutters, face turning bright red as Katsuki advances.

“You’re lucky you’re not dead, you stupid fucking nerd!” Katsuki yells, not caring about how loud he is. “But I’m still going to kill you!”

Deku takes a step back, flushing and stuttering again. “W-What but-?”

Katsuki can feel his hands beginning to smoke and if Deku’s eyes looking down then flickering back up are any indication, then his alpha knows it too, but Katsuki doesn’t give a fuck.

He’s so fucking angry. So pissed off that those heroes were so fucking useless that his quirkless alpha had to jump in to try and save him. They are the reason his alpha thought it was necessary to throw himself into danger and Katsuki was close to blowing his top back in that alley, but in front of his alpha, he can’t keep it together anymore.

See this is the thing. Katsuki isn’t angry that he had to be saved. Well, maybe a little, but it isn't the reason he wants to blow up this entire neighborhood then run back to that alley and beat the shit out of those pro heroes and one sludge villain in particular.

Katsuki is angry because his alpha threw himself into danger that Katsuki could barely handle. He has a powerful quirk, but it did absolutely fucking nothing to stop that villain earlier. Deku is quirkless. Deku is soft and gentle and incapable of not lending someone a helping hand. He’s an alpha, yes, but Deku is so, so fragile. Katsuki knows that his alpha can grow a spine when he fucking wants to and that he can throw a mean punch, especially since they started working out together. Katsuki knows everything about his alpha and that is exactly why when their eyes met, Katsuki was struck dumb with terror because he knew what was going to happen next.

He knew and he was terrified for his alpha.

“You could have gotten hurt, you idiot!” Katsuki spits out, growing angrier when his eyes start burning.

He turns his face away, letting out a deep breath and fighting back the stupid fucking tears. Deku has gone still in front of him. His panicked scent has turned towards confusion and slowly, so slowly that Katsuki can barely recognize it, a growing sense of horror. Both of them do not speak and Katsuki has never felt further apart from his alpha than at this moment.

“You were going to die,” Deku eventually says, finally breaking the stifling silence that had befallen them.

Katsuki feels his hackles rise in defiance and anger again. “You don’t know that! You don’t know shit, you stupid nerd! You had no reason to put yourself in danger like that because of me, Deku!”

Deku steps back like he has been struck, his expression and scent changing quickly. “You’re my mate, Kacchan. I will always do my best to take care of you in any way that I can. Me being quirkless doesn’t change that.”

“That has nothing to do with it! You said I could take care of you, you fucking promised, shithead!” Katsuki growls, advancing rapidly on his alpha with his palms smoking then coming to an abrupt halt as Deku flinches.

Katsuki draws back, looking at the street instead of Deku’s emerald eyes. “I am not more important than you, fucktard. There were heroes there and you didn’t have to do that. Why did you do that? I didn’t need your fucking help and you know that! So why did you run into it anyway?”

He keeps his gaze on Deku’s bright red shoes, his eyes burning fiercer than before. Katsuki does not know what he expects his alpha to say, but it isn’t what he ends up hearing at all.

“You’re my heart, Kacchan,” Deku murmurs, his voice so soft and gentle and Katsuki can’t help the fucking tears that fall down his face then. “That villain attacked me earlier and I almost died. I know firsthand that it might have killed you too. The only thing I could think to myself at the moment was, what am I supposed to do you without you?”

Katsuki feels his head snap up and meets Deku’s watery gaze with his own, suddenly frothing at the mouth angry again. He hates this. He hates this so much and he hates how it’s his alpha who always manages to bring this stupid emotional bullshit out of him when he would rather ignore it all and suffer in silence. But no, Deku has to force it out of him and make him talk about feelings otherwise Katsuki just feels guilty and shitty.

Fuck Deku honestly and fuck stupid ass feelings too!

As if Katsuki wouldn’t have done the same thing. As if Katsuki would not be terrified of losing his mate, alpha, and best friend all in one fell swoop! As if Deku is so fucking noble for throwing himself into danger when all it did was make the situation worse and scare ten years off Katsuki’s life.

“WELL, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITHOUT YOU? This is a two-way street, motherfucker, and you can’t fucking assume that I would ever want you to get fucking hurt because of me!” Katsuki all but screams, shaking and trembling as tears continue to trail down his cheeks.

Deku is much too calm when he says, “I know. I didn’t mean to imply that your feelings don’t matter, but Kacchan… You would have done the same thing.”

Katsuki doesn’t reply, not deeming that statement worthy of an answer at all because they both know it’s the truth. It is what Katsuki was thinking just mere moments before, what he refuses to speak aloud after all that has already happened today.

He is too tired for this crap. He wants to go home and pretend like the world doesn’t exist for a few hours.

Deku must read it in the slump of his shoulders or the dejected look on his face because soon he’s speaking again and giving Katsuki the escape he needs. “If you want some alone time, I can give you space, Kacchan.”

Katsuki can only make himself nod. Deku gives him a gentle and sincere smile anyway, the kind that makes Katsuki want to punch something.

“Okay… and Kacchan?”

He looks up again, letting their eyes meet. Deku looks rattled and tired, but assured too, something that Katsuki rarely ever sees from his alpha.

“I love you.”

What the fuck?

What.

The.

Fuck.

Absolutely not, Deku can fuck right off with that bullshit. Katsuki wipes his face quickly with the singed sleeve of his uniform and flees.

He runs the rest of the way home, crying again, and when he bursts through his front door, his mom is in the kitchen. His dad isn’t home yet, so he ignores her greeting and runs into his room. Locking the door, he lets his tears fall freely.

He feels so stupid and small, something he abhors with all his might. Ugh.

a/n: if you’re interested about how this is all coming together, check out my #progress-report tag (: 

thanks for reading! please remember that my requests are open 

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