#syphax my love I miss you

[jumpinjordan]

A Courtesan of Rome you will always be loved

[umccall71]

Chapter 22

Rating:Mature content includes profanity, sexual content,talks about depression.

Disclaimer:All characters are property of Pixelberry except my OC Lady Saige. The use of these characters are for entertainment only and i am only borrowing them.

Summary:After a summer of a lifetime,Prince Liam thought he could have it all.He was carefree, free,, and sharing time with the woman of his dreams.When life was easy, a balancing act between love and duty, he realizes his truths are lies, wrong is right, and decisions do have consequences. Lady Saige never imagined she would be one of his consequences.When an utter act horror throws her world into a tailspin.

Warning: This series contains subject matter of depression and hopelessness.The story may trigger certain individuals. Please be advised. If you’re reading this series you are acknowledging you are 18+.

A/N:Sorry for the long delay.Things have been hectic in my life for a bit.I had to take some time to focus on my health. Thanks for your understanding and support.

My apologies, my tag list is outdated since it has been a long time since I posted anything. Please message me if you wish to be removed from any future posts. I am looking to finish this story that was started years ago. . Apologies for any typos and misspelling.

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@ao719 @lodberg @romanticatheart-posts @eadanga @silviasutton1989 @rainbowsinthestorm @ownworldresident @jared2612 @the-soot-sprite @smalltalk88 @syphax @custaroonie @whenyourheartskipsabeat @marietrinmimi @furiousherringoperatortoad @gibbles45 @choices97 @fantasy-of-fiction @drakensworld @simsvetements @blackcatkita @3pawandme @indiacater @elles-choices @lauradowning29 @carabethpow

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It had been 48 hours since the decision had been made to go public about the nightmare and tragedy that had changed the very core of their life together. Liam had Bastien coordinate with the office for Ana De Luca to get the interview scheduled. This was going to be such an exposed moment for her, for them. The monarchy had a history of concealing the not so sunny facets from the people. The faces of the crown only showed that which would be received well by the Cordonian citizens. It was rare that any bad news was willingly shared, especially such a heinous crime against the crown by the crown. Liam made sure to check in repeatedly with Saige if she was certain that she would want to move forward with the interview. He made sure that Miss DeLuca understood that his Queen had the final say in whether she wanted to broadcast the interview, or how much got shared.

“Bastien, is everything prepared in the gazebo for the interview?”, Liam inquired.

“Your majesty, Miss DeLuca is aware that her majesty has the final call on what topics will be covered during the interview. She has also signed a non-disclosure agreement. There will be minimal members of the press present during the interview to assure that Queen Saige is completely at ease.”

Liam nodded, clapped Bastien on the shoulder and thanked him, “Bastien, it means a great deal to myself and Saige for all of your support during these last several months. There are a few trusted people we would turn to in these dark days. “

Bastien simply nodded and excused himself to complete the task at hand. “Sir, I will notify you when she arrives.” He turned on his heel after bowing to his monarch.

Liam adjusted his three-piece steel-gray suit as he made his way down the corridor from the study to the master suite to meet Saige to escort her to the gazebo.

“There will be better days”, she chanted quietly to herself in front of her mirror. Saige was doing her best to hold it together as she finished dressing for her interview.

Liam held onto the door jam as he watched her lovingly and determined to see her through this journey He watched as Saige tied the sash of her pale pink maxi dress that cascaded around her baby bump. She slid on the wedge heels and dabbed a little lip gloss on her supple lips. He interrupted her thought, “it’s really hard to make perfection any better.”

Saige smiled at her handsome husband that stood admiring her from the door. Liam moved closer to her and came to stand behind her in the mirror. He nuzzled her neck and gently kissed her cheek. “I’ll do my best not to mess up your make up, although you don’t really need it. Your beautiful as you are my love. “

Liam’s hands cupped her belly feeling his little love fluttering slightly. “I will never cease to be amazed at this feeling”, his blue eyes flashed brightly at the overwhelming feeling of love.

“Liam, is it time to go yet ?”, she asked barely audible. Saige shook her hands trying to release the slight tension from the bundle of nerve building in her body. Saige knew that once her story was shared that she may face some backlash from supporters of the former king. Here she was a virtual stranger in this country coming forward to reveal the atrocities exposed against her. All she wanted was to love Liam and hopefully love this child with fierce protectiveness. She recounted the night she and Liam made love and she professed her desire to start a family with him. He was a guiding force in these trying times. She had spent most of her life depending on herself or her dad. He was gone and she never had the forethought to think about a future that included a family of her own.

Liam turned her face and gently kissed her lips. “Saige, you have nothing to fear from telling the truth. I’m right beside you.”, he traced his thumb along her porcelain skin. “We are a team that cannot be taken for granted. I love you… I love our child… and I love the future we have to look forward to sharing.” He pulled her close to his chest, sending his warmth and safety through his embrace.

“Let’s go…you are going to make the country love you just as much as I do… if that’s possible.”Liam took Saige by the hand and led her out of the doors of the estate down to the gazebo.

*********

The Interview

Ana DeLuca: Ladies and gentlemen, I am joined today at the beautiful duchy Valtoria by King Liam and Queen Saige of Cordonia. The royals have allowed us a glimpse into what it’s been like for them over the last few months. Yes… we have wondered why the silence from the royal family, but soon we will learn some answers.

“Thank you both for allowing me into your home and a peek into your lives. So what has it been like for the two of you since the passing of the former king?”

Liam grasped Saige’s hand reassuringly and locked blue eyes as they composed themselves to answer.

King Liam: Thank you for having us Ms.DeLuca. It’s been quite a transition for our family in the last several months. My father… taking his life was surprisingly cowardice. He took his life to keep from facing his own crimes. He left behind more questions than answers. There were things that my father has been believed to have done throughout his reign here in Cordonia, but his recent actions have torn a hole in the fabric of our lives. The story we share is not so much of mine...as it is my queen’s.”

He turned slightly and placed a tender kiss on Saige's temple. He whispered softly to her, “love, the decision is yours as to how much is shared today. I love you and I am proud of you.”

Saige nodded and smiled softly, but it was clear to anyone that saw her that she was nervous and unsure. She gazed into Liam’s loving eyes and took a deep breath. She drew strength from him at that moment and every moment since her attack. Ana noticed her reluctance and smiled to the queen mouthing, “it’s okay.”

Ana DeLuca: “So Your majesty, I understand that there has been a lot of change in your life in recent months. Can you share with the Cordonian people a little about that?”

Queen Saige: “Ms. DeLuca, thank you for allowing us to speak to the citizens of Cordonia through your voice. This country has become my home. Meeting Liam has been the greatest joy of my life until… until we learned that we were expecting. Liam has been a godsend for me in these trying times.”

The blonde reporter seemed a bit puzzled by her response. Most people would be elated to have a new child on the way. Her eyes darted back and forth between the royal couple trying to decide how much to divulge to the public. Saige smoothed the fabric of her dress unknowingly. She tried to keep her emotions in check as she opened her personal pandora’s box. Saige anticipated the whispers and snide remarks when her truth was revealed. King Constantine...who would believe the beloved former king had violated her? She glanced at Liam and allowed her truth to flow.

Queen Saige: “Getting married, and starting a family would be an extraordinary gift, but our path was fraught. I came to Cordonia as part of a summer trip to spend time with my best friend from college… Duchess Olivia, but back then she was just Liv to me. She convinced me to spend some time in her beautiful home country and it was one of the best decisions I ever made.” She smiled and gently stroked Liam’s hand. “We came to spend an afternoon with some of her friends at a quiet get together, and it was there I met Liam...Prince Liam, only I hadn’t learned of his title just yet. We spent time together just talking and sharing some laughs. I was charmed by him immediately, but he was so down to earth. It was so amazingly easy to open up to him.”

Ana DeLuca: “ So are you saying you fell for each other instantly?” Ana leaned forward , she had become engrossed in their story. She smiled and looked between the two entranced.

King Liam: “ For me it certainly was… she's beautiful, charming, witty, compassionate, caring, intelligent… what’s not to love about her?” He smirked and lifted her hand to place a chaste kiss to her knuckles.

Queen Saige: “There was certainly a connection right away. Liam is a hard man to get out of your head. He spent the next several days trying to convince me to go out with him. He had dozens of flower bouquets sent every hour from sun up to sun down to Olivia’s estate. Finally, when the last arrangement had taken over her home, it was delivered with a note with his phone number asking me to call him.” Saige giggled reminiscing about the first time she allowed him into her heart. “I contemplated shortly and ended up calling him and we made plans for a first date. He took me to a lovely greek restaurant that we shared alone. I had no idea that he emptied the place out so that we would have some privacy. It was that night I finally learned that he was a prince.”

Liam's eyes were staring adoringly at her lips, and he was so in love… that much was evident to anyone. The way he would brush a stray tendril of her auburn locks out her face, the way he would grasp her hand and not let go, the smile that never left his face as they recounted their love story.

Queen Saige: “After that night we spent every free minute together that was allowed. We had late-night phone calls and it was the happiest I had been in a really long time. Then he did me the honor of inviting me to a ball at the palace. He surprised me with a beautiful gown and it was a night to remember, until it quickly turned into a night I couldn't forget.” Her facial expression became sullen, panic-stricken when she thought back to the night she first encountered the former king. “ That night’s events drove me from the palace and … and from Cordonia never being quite the same.”

Liam squeezed her hand and took over as she collected her thoughts. He knew this dark period caused her to shut down with everyone… including him.

King Liam: “ Little did I know that a short time later , Saige would disappear from my life. It had been months since she left without a word or forwarding address that I finally laid eyes on her again. It broke my heart to learn why she left, but I was grateful to be able to share with her what I truly felt...love... I loved her and had to make certain she knew.”

Liam seemed wistful as he thought of that tumultuous time. “After we both shared a tender reunion and I learned the truth, I realized I did not want to lose her again … so I proposed.”

The two of them happily smiled at the memory. “We married a short time later in Texas and again when we landed in Cordonia surrounded by a few family and close friends.”

Ana DeLuca: “So no one knew you two were married?”

King Liam: “ There were a few people that knew but respected our decision to make our announcement to the public. When the decision of my brother to step down was shared and it was known that I would be next in line for the crown and Saige agreed that we would be okay if I ascended to the throne, I had no choice but to go public being my father was pushing for a social season, but there was no need. I had my bride, my queen.” There was such tenderness in his gaze as he pronounced his love to the world.

Ana DeLuca: “ You announced the same night of the coronation that you two were going to become parents. Congratulations by the way. This is truly a monumental time for you two, for the monarchy.”

Queen Saige: “Thank you for your kind words...and yes it should have been an exciting time, but something changed a week after the coronation. You see, my husband was expected in Italy for a conference and I happen to have a doctor’s appointment the day after he left so I could not go with him.” Saige’s voice dropped low as she weighed the decision to open up.

“We chatted that night before bed and I had chosen to turn in early. Little did I know that there were other plans in the works that night. I woke up a short time later wanting a snack. It was then that I heard a noise coming from the living area. I thought nothing of it as I went to grab something to eat and a bottle of water.”

The queen became visibly affected as she continued to explain her personal hell in the palace. Her eyes became dampened with unshed tears, she could not allow her grief to stand in the way of her moment to free her spirit again.

“ I walked down the darkened hallway to be met by an enormous hand choking me into silence. This night, i was attacked within my home ...in my living room.”

Saige’s leg began to bounce from the nerves trying to bubble up. She wanted to run away, but she knew that wasn’t her answer. She couldn’t do that to Liam, she couldn’t do it to herself .She suddenly took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and looked at her loving husband. She knew that she needed to rely on his strength more than ever right now.

“That night, I was beaten and violently raped by … the former king. He had two guards, one of which was my own to hold me down and tear my clothing from my body. He… he uttered such vile things as he hurt me. His hand was over my mouth the entire time. He didn’t care the agonizing pain as I shook, pleading with my eyes to stop hurting me. Not to hurt my baby, but he didn’t… he never gave a damn what hell he put me through.”

Saige bit her inner cheek fighting like hell to keep from breaking down. She couldn’t let him steal this moment in time from her, from his grave. She had her family to think about. Without thinking her free hand moved down her body and gently cupped her belly. She felt a flutter within her willing her to continue to stand up to the demon that shared Liam’s bloodline.

“I spent days in the hospital… mostly unconscious… unaware of what had happened to me. I had no idea that my husband had to rush home to find out the atrocities that had been committed against us. I had no idea how to feel when I opened my eyes… finally and learned where I was and the fallout from king Constantine. The true extent of what he’d stolen from us that night.”

Saige looked down to her belly and willed herself to keep it together. Liam saw the pain etched in her porcelain features. Her beautiful blue eyes that were so full of pain, yet hopeful that something good could come of this. He squeezed her hand and nodded. Saige knew with this man , she was going to be okay. Liam looked at Ana DeLuca bearing a determined look in his eyes. He took over the moment while Saige collected herself.

King Liam: “I learned while my wife was out fighting for our baby’s life that she was severely beaten and damaged during the heinous act that caused her to lose our child.”

Ana looked bewildered as her eyes darted back and forth between the royals and then to the queen’s abdomen. Liam sensed her confusion and continued.

“ The meeting I had a short time after arriving with the doctor I learned of the miscarriage and I also learned that we were not expecting one child...but two. How do you process such a gift and a heartache at the same time? I had to think about how we would break the news to my queen.”

The sight of a monarch visibly emotionally moved by reliving the loss of a child bought Ana to tears. She tried to quickly recollect herself to not deviate from the interview.

Ana DeLuca: “King Liam, how did you come to terms with the loss of your child, your heir?”

King Liam:” I realize that the baby, our baby was the heir… but he or she was our family member first.That was a baby that we loved and planned for ...together. What do you do with the promise that is unrealized? Where do the future first experiences go? The first smile, the first steps, the first time hearing that little one call me daddy, the first giggles, the first time planning a birthday, our first holiday as a family… What do you do with that?”

Silence as Ana tried to process the hypothetical question. She saw a glimpse of the personal hell that her king and queen, Cordonia’s king and queen had been suffering. It made sense in a news flash sort of way that they were quiet in their personal life for a bit.As if reading her mind, Liam chimed in again.

“I had to… in that moment focus on helping my wife heal physically and emotionally. We were both reeling from the reality that our little family would be missing a part of our dream. I also had to come to grasp the abominable actions of the man who had violated my wife and caused the death of our unborn child.”

Liam paused at the realization hearing himself speaking aloud about how his world was turned upside down by his father’s actions.

“Apparently the former king was a coward unwilling to face the consequences of his actions.Rather than atone for going to his sins, he chose to take his own life. Here it was we were expecting the next generation of the Rhys royal bloodline, and to have a future cut short by our own family member.”

Liam clenched his fist at the thought of what injustice his father had perpetrated against Saige. He felt for what she had gone through… still was going through at the hands of his father.

Ana beautifully refocused the moment back to the queen.It was not lost on her the reaction as she listened intently as Liam shared the most devastating moment of her life.

Ana De Luca: “ma’am what do you want the citizens of Cordonia to take away from this interview?”

Saige paused thoughtfully as she considered what message she wanted to carry forward.

Queen Saige: “I want the citizens, I want our child to know that you can rise against all odds. You will see some dark times, but being surrounded by the people you love...and that love you, there is a better tomorrow. The pain will seem overwhelming and endless, but you must find a way to get out of bed in the morning… start to hope again by putting one foot in front of the other. I know by the grace of my king, I now feel a sense of purpose. We are going to invest that extra love into the child that will share life upon this world. I have to think that heaven must have made room for an angel a little early. I will think of our little that’s not able to walk amongst us here when I look into the eyes of the baby that’s on the way. When I hear the laughter of a Cordonian child, I will smile thinking of the laughter that was lost earlier this year. We did need some time to grieve and to pick ourselves up and continue pressing forward… but still I’ll rise … I’ll rise to fight another day.

Ana DeLuca: “Do you have any final words for our viewers king Liam?”

Liam smiled proudly at his queen. He felt this overwhelming feeling growing in his chest. He watched her conquer her fear. His father couldn’t hurt her anymore. She faced her boogie man in front of the country with such strength and determination.He stood and dropped down to one knee… bowing to his Queen.

King Liam: “I couldn’t say it any better than my queen. I echo her words and look forward to peace and prosperity for Cordonia. I want the best for our country and for our family.”

Ana DeLuca: “Thank you both your majesties for allowing us to share a glimpse into your worlds.”

Ana faced the camera and bid farewell to the viewers .

“Thank you for spending time with your monarchs Cordonia. We look forward to meeting the new heir once he or she make their entrance into the world.”

“And cut”... the cameras were turned off and the lights were dimmed.

Liam’s strong arms wrapped around his wife and he cupped her face in his hands. He smiled as he softly placed a tender kiss to the top of Saige’s head. “I am so very proud of you my love.”

She released a breath she did not realize she was holding. She outstretched her hands grabbing on his face. “I was so nervous Liam, but you being here meant the world to me.” She planted a quick peck on his lips.

He acknowledged Ana and her crew before turning to leave. “Ana, thank you for allowing us time to share our story. My head of security will see you to your transportation. Have a good night.”

Liam led Saige to the edge of the waters surrounding Valtoria and wrapped his arm around her waist. They both veered out into the orangish purple hues that made up the perfect sunset that was minutes away from saying good night to the sun. There was something so serene about watching the skies tranquil above Cordonia. They sat in the grassy field beside the flowing waters thinking about the remains of the day. King Liam sat with his legs opened inviting his queen to lean back to take a respite from the world. Saige leaned back into his chest, raised her hand to lace with his fingers , he reached out his large hand and gently laid it upon her growing belly.

He whispered in her ear, “ you were amazing love, tomorrow we shall meet with our people … a kingdom gained. I love you and our babies here and lost.”

They sat nestled in the comfort of each other’s arms.Saige closed her eyes and smiled softly in the warmth of his love. “Tomorrow…we put one foot in front of the other to welcome a new day.”

[dukedrakes]

it’s been so long since i’ve played acor and i can’t describe the grin that i made when he appeared

[smileyishere92]

So who are you guys gonna romance in A Courtesan of Rome? 👀

Just curious since I literally just started the book 🙂 Anyways, feel free to leave a reply or reblog with your pick✌🏻

[varmajackie]

ty for the tag bby @beckaroo ily

across the void: don’t remember his name exactly but i think i romanced sol?? lol

america’s most eligible: latino adam was too pretty to reject... djfdks but if i remember correctly i ended up with slater

baby bump: i don’t think this is up for discussion when we have the pretty major right here... <33

bachlorette party: never went that far to romance anyone djsfkjdfk

big sky country: I rather play Babu ten times in a row than read a horse yeehaw book <- what becky said here ^^

blades of light & shadow: tyril <33 my blue elf man

bloodbound: ideologically i don’t agree with bloodbound but kamilah sayeed

the crown & the flame: kenna and dom ended up together hehehhe

a courtesan of rome: i nearly romanced all of them and ended up with my family because i liked acor more like in general, plot wise but the only time i ended up with someone it was syphax

desire and decorum: ernest ofc my favorite gremlin

endless summer: jake jake jake

the elementalists: none of the li’s weren’t so appealing to me but beckett

the freshman: ZIG ORTEGA!! MY KING (honourable mention to james ashton i completed his route of 6 books too, he deserved better sigh)

the haunting of braidwood manor: eleanor, if i had diamonds lol

the heist: monaco: i was too broke to romance anyone but all of them looked delicious

hero: i haven’t played it

it lives anthology: i romanced both connor and lucas

high school story: michael 

home for the holidays: wyatt might be a dumbass but he was my dumbass ok....

lovehacks: both ben and mark!

mother of the year: thomas mendez aka the best man ever existed in this pixel universe

nightbound: cal my best werewolf

open heart: ethan........ ndsjkdksa i think that pretty obvious

perfect match: DAMIEN NAZARIO MY FIRST PIXEL LOVE!! i even named my oph mc dr nazario when i played it first... this level of obsession

platinum: RALEIGH!!!!!

red carpet diaries: never finished it 

ride or die: colt.. miss him ever day

rules of engagement: the business man ofc

the royal masquerade: KAYDEN VESCOVI SUPREMACY

sunkissed: no one, only if the lasagna sauce was an option, i might have rethink

veil of secrets: flynn babeyyy

wishful thinking: haven’t finished itt 

i probably forgot MANY BOOKS here but well.......

idk if you were tagged so! djfhsj @drethanramslay @mvalentine @kcnnarys @raleigheffingcarrera @jamespotterthefirst anyone who wants to hop in!!!

[thequeenofpixels]

Choices Love Interest Tag Game 💘

List down your love interest(s) for each series! (you can also write none if you do not have an LI for a particular book or havent read that book yet.)

Thanks for the tag @choicesbyjade ♥

Across the Void: Meridian 

America’s Most Eligible: Adam

Baby Bump: LOL I renamed him, but it’s the father’s child.

Bachlorette Party: Reed

Big Sky Country: Sawyer Oakley

Blades of Light & Shadow: None

Bloodbound: Jax Matsuo and Adrian Raines ( Yes I’m with both)

The Crown & the Flame: Dom 

A Courtesan of Rome: Cassius Longinus and Syphax.

Desire and Decorum: Ernest Sinclaire

Endless Summer: Sean Gayle (I miss my mean 😢)

The Elementalists: Griffin Langley

The Freshman: Zig Ortega

The Haunting of Braidwood Manor: Victor

The Heist: Monaco: Fabien Ahmad 

Hero: Kenji Katsaros

It Lives Anthology: Connor Green (ILITW) / Tom Sato (ILB)

High School Story: Michael Harrison

High School Story - Class Act: Skye Crandall

Home for the Holidays: Wyatt Hart

LoveHacks: Ben Park 

Mother of the Year: Levi

Nightbound: Cal Lowel

Open Heart: Bryce Lahela 

Passport To Romance: Ahmed Khabbaz

Perfect Match: M!Hayden Young

Platinum: M!Raleigh Carrera

Red Carpet Diaries: Seth Levine

Ride or Die: Logan

Rules of Engagement: Leo

The Royal Masquerade: M!Hunter Fierro

The Royal Romance: Drake Walker

Save the Date: Simon Hendricks

Sunkissed: Nate

Veil of Secrets: Flynn O'Malley

Wishful Thinking: Jaime Lewis 

Tagging: @nanieuniverse @fullofchoices @vickypoochoices @ladylahela @itsalliepg @boowoomuu @brchoicesbr @scalpeljockeybrycelahela @boneandfur @bardiniwalker @alicars  @argylemnwrites 

[itsalliepg]

Choices Love Interest Tag Game

List down your love interest(s) for each series! (you can also write none if you do not have an LI for a particular book or havent read that book yet.)

Thanks for the tag @thequeenchoices ♥ Some books I have two MCs (I have one account with my Facebook and another with my brother’s) and when has a / it’s because I wrote my two LIs

Across the Void: Meridian(MC), Holmes (Pax), Lyra (Eos)

America’s Most Eligible: Mackenzie/Derek Bianca/Slater

Baby Bump: I don't know yet, maybe M!Myles

Bachlorette Party: Ash Tanaka

Big Sky Country: Sawyer Oakley

Blades of Light & Shadow: Mal Volari/Nia Ellarious

Bloodbound: Jax Matsuo/Lily Spencer

The Crown & the Flame: Dominic Hunter

A Courtesan of Rome: Syphax but I slept with literally everyone LOL

Desire and Decorum: Prince Hamid/Ernest Sinclaire

Endless Summer: Jake McKenzie/Estela Montoya

The Elementalists: Griffin Langley/Shreya Mistry

The Freshman: Zig Ortega (I miss him sooo much😢)

The Haunting of Braidwood Manor: Eleanor

The Heist: Monaco: Uppercut Jones Rye

Hero: Kenji Katsaros

It Lives Anthology: Lucas Thomas/Ava Cunningham (ILITW) / Tom Sato (ILB)

High School Story: Aiden Zhou/Michael Harrison

High School Story - Class Act: M!Rory Silva/Skye Crandall

Home for the Holidays: Wyatt Hart

LoveHacks: Mark Collins

Mother of the Year: Levi Schuler

Nightbound: Cal Lowel

Open Heart: Bryce Lahela/Rafael Aveiro

Passport To Romance: Ahmed Khabbaz/Marisa Pires

Perfect Match: M!Hayden Young

Platinum: M!Raleigh Carrera/F!Raleigh Carrera sorry Avery LOL

Red Carpet Diaries: Seth Levine

Ride or Die: Colt Kaneko/Logan

Rules of Engagement: Dean (Katie)/Carter (Jess)/Audrey (Nicole)

The Royal Masquerade: M!Kayden Vescovi

The Royal Romance: King Liam/Maxwell Beaumont

Save the Date: Simon Hendricks

Sunkissed: Samson

Veil of Secrets: Flynn O'Malley

Wishful Thinking: Jaime Lewis

Tagging: @scalpeljockeybrycelahela @zigortega4life @mangoruby @bobasheebaby

[ladatheimpaler]

The Forgotten Queen (Part 3)

Book: A Courtesan of Rome

Pairings: MC x Marc Antony, MC x Cassius

Summary: When Marc Antony pardons Lysandra for her crimes against Julius Caesar, he gives her the chance of either staying in Rome or returning to Gaul. Scared for her life, she makes the decision of leaving Rome behind-and those she loved.

@thechoicesvita @nikkisha16

***

Lysandra froze when she saw Antony across the market. She tried to look away before he noticed her gaze, but she looked away too late. Her heart raced, and a cold sweat broke across her skin as he looked back at her. She didn’t know what scared her more: his burning fury or his chilling indifference. She didn’t know which Antony she would have to face if he approached her. She just knew that she didn’t want anything to do with him. She didn’t want to see him, touch him, or think of him. But despite her best efforts she remembered their last meeting...

Lysandra felt like he was holding a burning torch up to her face. Once the image of that torch entered her mind she thought it was actually happening. Instinctively she turned her face away from him and shut her eyes. Her body began to shake. Beads of sweat cascaded down her back. The pulse in her throat quickened. Her breathing came in short, shallow breaths. She could barely hear what he was saying over the ringing in her ears. Something about crucifixion?

“No,” he tilted his head as he scrutinized her, “That wouldn’t be humiliating enough for you, would it?”

She struggled to speak. Her voice failing her. She bet that Antony took great pride in seeing her like this. She had a response for everything, but not this time. There was never a time where he had truly left her speechless. She always had something to say to him. A way to deal with him. Whether that was by flirting with him or yelling at him, at least she had something to say. None of that mattered now, not when it came to this meeting. This was when she needed her voice the most, but it was failing her. It occurred to her then that she had never been truly afraid as she was now.

She had never given into fear.

Until now.

Now, she had no hope for the future.

When Rome had burned her village she had faith that the other tribes would aid them and they would all destroy Rome together. When Syphax was captured she hadn’t allowed herself to fall into despair for what she had condemned him to, she never gave up on freeing him. When she was separated from her family she had held onto the hope that they would see each other again.

Her family.

She had to fight for them. Everything she did was for them. If she couldn’t live then she will plead their case. “Spare my family,” she choked on the words. “I’ll take any punishment, will face any death if it meant that they would live.”

His lips twitched into a cold smile, “I know.” She had allowed herself to be his gift to Caesar in exchange for the lives of her father and Syphax after all.

Antony continued to stare at her, no doubt he was purposefully dragging out the suspense. He always had to make everything into a spectacle. She grew more agitated with the second. She felt the muscles in her thighs and biceps tighten. She wanted to scream, “Tell me my punishment, you bastard!” But he always enjoyed games and this was the game to end all games. To see the cold and prideful Lysandra become undone and beg for her life in front of the First Man of Rome… that had to be the greatest prize of all. She wouldn’t be surprised if he had longed to see her like this more than he had longed to see her body.

Despite his bravado, she wondered if he was heartbroken over her betrayal-for using his love for her to accomplish her vengeance, and just didn’t want to show it. She couldn’t help but wonder if he was punishing her for Rome or for himself.

Just as the thought crossed her mind, he spoke again. “Frankly, I don’t care what happens to you. Stay in Rome or go home to Gaul, I’ll leave the choice to you.”

Lysandra felt like she had just experienced whiplash. He had stumped her. He was letting her go? Just like that? Hope rose in her just as an alarm went off in her head, No! He’s lying to you! There’s a price, there’s always a price!

As much as she wanted to believe in her false hope, the warrior in her wouldn’t allow it. The voice inside her head was right, there was always a price. Antony wouldn’t let her go without some sort of punishment.

“What’s the-”

“Whether you choose to stay here or go home, know that you will be nothing. You will have to rebuild a new life for yourself no matter what you choose. You will either be the most hated woman in Rome or be the Queen of Nothing in Gaul. You will live the rest of your life in the dirt, with no chance of becoming something greater-”

“Oh, you are a fucking bastard.”

“-You will be stripped of any influence you had in Rome. You will be scoured from the annals and forgotten. No one will remember your name, Princess of Gaul. I’ll make sure of it.” Lysandra’s eyes widened. She had told her father that her greatest dream was to be remembered. She had told him that destroying Rome would be her legacy. She had done just that. She had killed Caesar, a Roman god in his own right, and she was to be deprived of that glory? Antony was taking her dream away from her. I should have killed him...

He smiled slyly at her, “That’s what I would have done to Aquila had you not murdered him.”

Antony had made her the most powerful woman in Rome. Had made her the Queen of Vulcanalia, but now he had turned her into… into The Queen of Nothing... He had taken her dream away from her. If he would leave her dreamless, then she would become his nightmare. “Are you trying to make Rome forget me, or are you trying to forget me?”

The triumph left his eyes as it was replaced with fury. His smile turned into a grimace. She had found a dent in his armor. Had left a battle wound in his skin. She now knew that her punishment was more for himself than it was for Caesar. Lysandra knew that Antony wouldn’t wipe Cassius’s name away from history because he wanted Rome to remember him. To remember that Cassius was a murderer and a traitor. Antony wanted the whole world to remember their hatred for Cassius; but he wanted to forget that he had ever loved a courtesan.

Lysandra gave him a sly smile, “You’re going to miss me when I’m gone. It doesn’t matter how hard you try to erase me away from history, because you’ll never be able to forget me. Any woman that you’re with, you’ll wish it was me. I’ll be in your thoughts during your waking hours and I’ll haunt your dreams. And when your life comes to an end, you’ll think of me. You’ll wonder what I came to be.” She stepped up closer to him, her green eyes meeting his dark ones, “And you’ll wonder if I ever thought of you the way you thought of me.You’ll wonder if I ever loved you the way you loved me.

“And that uncertainty will kill you more than any poison, more than any blade.” She brushed her lips against his, he gasped against her lips, surrendering to her. She pulled away from him before he wrapped his arms around her. “I am the poison and the blade. I will be the death of you.”

With a smirk, Lysandra gave him a mocking bow, just like he had always done to her. She turned away from him before he could do anything to her, and walked out of the basilica. Once she felt like she was out of his line of sight, she ran all the way to the scholae, scared for her life.

They stared at each other from across the market. Was he remembering their last meeting like she was? Lysandra couldn’t help but wonder what would happen to him, if luck would bless him or curse him. She shook her head at the thought. She had told him that he would spend his whole life wondering about her, she hated that she was doing that now.

Though if she were being honest, she hadn’t stopped thinking about him since he pardoned her. He had claimed he spared her just so she could live the rest of her days struggling, she didn’t quite believe him. He knew her after all, he knew her better than anyone. He had to know that she would never give up. That she would rise from the ashes, from the fire he had set her on. Surely he knew that she wouldn’t be “living in the dirt” for the rest of her life. He had told her himself that he believed that she was meant for bigger things. Was he secretly hoping that she would survive what he had condemned her to? That she would prove him wrong and become even more powerful than when she was a courtesan? Maybe he was hoping that she would return for him one day, that she would come to love him… If he hadn’t threatened to crucify her she might have considered his actions romantic.

Perhaps she had done something right. Maybe despite all of her mistakes and all of her maneuverings over him, maybe Antony did actually come to love her.

She hated to admit it, but a part of her had started to care for the man under the armor. He challenged her in ways that no one had ever done. Her temper and coldness had matched his. And she had gotten a thrill from their exchanges just as much as he had.

But they were too alike, too passionate, too wild. The same passion that had matched hers would have destroyed her. He would have turned her into ash before she could even light him on fire. She could survive anything he had done to her, but she wasn’t sure if she could survive him.

Yet, Lysandra couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if she were to return to Rome one day? Would she have fallen in love with Antony? How would they have reconciled? She imagined him falling out of his chair as she walked into the senate building years later. Lysandra laughed out loud at the thought. He always had the most amusing reactions

Antony glared at her and Lysandra’s laughter was cut short, she quickly clamped her mouth shut.

Shit, she thought to herself. Shit, shit, shit.

That definitely wasn’t an amusing reaction.

He began to walk towards her, murder in his eyes and pride in his gait.

Lysandra’s grew more anxious with each step he took. Her surroundings became blurrier, but he became clearer. She wasn’t able to pull out her knife from its sheath. She couldn’t even bring herself to run away. She hated the power he held over her. I should have killed him.

Antony stopped abruptly. He probably thought that she was purposely baiting him.

He looked her over, his eyes scanning her. Gauging her reaction. Observing her. Calculating, always calculating.

Did she look as frantic as she felt? She wondered if he knew that her legs were about to give out. Her whole body felt like it would go limp at any second and would collapse to the floor. Had he realized how fear had paralyzed her? Did he take joy in that or did a part of him feel guilty?

A slow smile grew on his lips and he gave her a knowing look. Antony bowed his head towards her, and then he walked away from her. He had definitely noticed that he had frightened her and he had taken great pride in it. Damn him, she thought, he won again.

Once he was out of sight, Lysandra sighed. She didn’t know if it was one of relief, regret, or resentment. She felt an ache in her jaw and a flash of pain in her hands. When she looked down, she realized that her hands were clenched into fists. She opened them and saw that her nails had embedded crescent shaped marks into her palms. And they had caused her to bleed. Lysandra wanted to punch Antony’s face just for that.

After a few moments, Lysandra looked up around her, saw that people were staring at her without trying to be obvious about it. They were probably hoping for some sort of lover’s quarrel between her and Antony. Maybe they were even hoping that she would slap him before kissing him passionately. Kissing him like she had during Vulcanalia. Lysandra rolled her eyes at that before closing them.

A headache began to rise, being around Antony always gave her a headache. She massaged her forehead as she tried to calm her breathing. She needed to get out of Rome. She needed to be free from all of this pain and suffering. She needed to be free of Antony and Cassius.

Slowly, sluggishly, she made her way through the market with her head down. She barely dodged people as she passed by them. Avoided the vendors trying to advertise their finest goods. She kept on walking, pulling her cloak tighter around her as it began to rain, softly and melodically.

Raindrops spotted her vision, but the world had never seemed so clear.

She realized that she had fallen for the type of men that she vowed to never fall for. Antony may have respected her, but everything was a game to him. He always had to have the upper-hand. He had told her that she wouldn’t like losing, but he had proven to hate it more. He always had to beat her. She always had to watch what she said and did around him. Whether he had intended to or not, he had controlled her. And Cassius… despite all of his love for her, was selfish. She had to pretend that she was someone that she wasn’t when she was with him. She always had to coddle him and put his feelings before hers. He was holding her back.

She had allowed lust and love to cloud her judgement.

Now she knew that they were no good for her, they didn’t deserve her. They had caused her more pain than joy, more fear than hope. She would never give them the power to control her. She would never welcome them into her heart again. It was best that she never thought of them as lovers, or even as patrons. In her memories, Cassius would be a senator that she had seen in passing once. She would remember Antony as the general that would host celebrations. They would become nothing to her, so that she would feel nothing for them.

And if Cassius or Antony were to meet a tragic end, she vowed not to shed a single tear.

Rome didn’t deserve her tears. She would have no sympathy for it.

It never had any sympathy for her, even now she had to make the effort to ignore the self-righteous plebeians as they called out to her- “whore!” and “murderer!” But they never did anything more to her, in fear that she would gut them. Finally they had realized that she was Lysandra of the Catauni, Princess of Gaul, a Warrior. Not a Courtesan of Rome.

Raindrops continued to fall. Faster, harder, wilder. It matched her fury. It matched her heart. It was Gaul calling her home.

She answered it.

If her hatred for Rome had granted her eight years of life, then Gaul would grant her an eternity. She would live for Gaul. She would love for the Catauni. She would be brave for them.

She never wanted to be afraid again. She didn’t want to fear for her life. She didn’t want to be afraid to fall in love or accomplish her dreams.

So she let go of everything. Rome. Antony. Cassius. She said goodbye to all of it.

Finally, she saw her family and Syphax in the distance, beyond the outskirts of Rome. Syphax and her father were loading the last of their possessions. Artemis ran up to her and Lysandra got down on her knees to scratch her tummy.

“Get up you lazy cur!”

Lysandra gasped, pretending to be insulted, “Don’t talk to Artemis like that!”

Cingerix snorted, “I was talking to you, not her. Artemis has actually been helpful, while you-” Cingerix glanced at Lysandra, his brow furrowed as he took in her wet appearance, “While you fell into a lake?”

“It was raining near the market earlier.”

“Ahh,” Cingerix said, gazing at the horizon. The storm clouds drawing nearer to them. She wondered if he knew why she was on the other side of the city, knew what she was up to. If he did know, he didn’t ask her about it. She was thankful for that. He nodded, “We’re just about done. Come on, cur.”

Lysandra stood up. Cingerix gave her a deadpan look, “I was talking to the dog.”

“Ha-ha,” Lysandra said before punching his arm. Cingerix simply grinned at her. As she followed him to where the rest of her tribe was, she asked him, “Where’s my monkey?” Lysandra had scarcely seen Cirta in weeks, ever since Cingerix came back into her life. He hadn’t even asked if he could have him, he simply scooped Cirta into his arms and took him.

Cingerix ignored her, dumping some blankets into her arms, he pointed at the cart furthest from them, “Put these blankets over there.”

Lysandra scrunched her nose at his authoritative tone and yanked the blankets away, heading to the direction where he had pointed to. She had just put the blankets away when she heard skittering noises. Lysandra’s eyes narrowed as she leaned into the cart, searching for the noise. Something reflected in the dark and before her mind could process what it was, it lunged for her.

“Ahhhh!” Lysandra let out an ear-piercing scream and covered her face with her forearms. She heard cheerful chittering sounds-and laughter. Lysandra furiously removed her arms from her face, “Cingerix!” Cingerix’s laughter grew louder.

“Cirta-” Lysandra turned back to the monkey, trying to calm her racing heart, “Cirta. What are you doing?” She reached out to grab for him, but Cirta dodged her, darting out of the cart. Knocking into Lysandra and making her crash into the cart.

The cart shook at the collision. She heard some clattering and when she found the source of the noise, she saw the amphora laying haphazardly on top of a pile. It started to tether side to side. Lysandra reached out to grab for it before it fell.

But the longer it was in her hands the more she wanted to destroy it. It was the last thing she had to remember Cassius, to remember the love they had once shared. If she destroyed it, she would destroy the last of them, and break the bond between her and Cassius for good. Then she would be free of him.

Before she could think the better of it, she lifted the amphora over her head. Closing her eyes, she released it.

Her heart skipped a beat as she anticipated the shattering sounds of pottery. Lysandra barely registered the sudden yell… and a thumping sound? It wasn’t what she had quite expected to hear. When she opened her eyes again, she saw Syphax before her. He held the amphora in his hands, his eyes wide. Once recognition crossed his mind that he had saved the fragile gift, he laughed with relief. Syphax faced her with an accomplished smile, “Told you I wouldn’t let you break it.”

Lysandra smiled slyly at him and turned away from him. Over her shoulder she simply said, “Hm.” As if she were telling him, “We’ll see.” She could have sworn that she heard Syphax gulp. Even though she probably unsettled him a little, he followed her to the horses.

A few minutes later, the Catauni were ready to head out. Victus, Delphinia, and Cingerix led from the front, with Artemis gleefully trailing after them. Slowly, the Cautani began to exit out of Rome. Lysandra stayed in the back. She had told her parents that she would guard the rear, but in truth she wanted to gaze at Rome one last time.

She took it all in. The grand buildings and god-like statues. The paved roads and gushing water fountains. Even from a distance, she could see some people mingling about.

Syphax rode up next to Lysandra and they gazed at Rome together.

The setting sun gave the city an angelic glow, making it look like paradise. But the darkening sky said otherwise. Lysandra knew otherwise. The architecture was built by the bones of the oppressed. The water fountains were filled with the blood of the conquered. The jewels were ripped off of the necks of those they had slaughtered. And the people… they felt that they were part of the greatest civilization the world had ever seen, and everyone else were barbarians. But that wasn’t the case at all, they were the barbarians.

Syphax squeezed her hand, “It’s time to go…”

Lysandra gave a sharp nod, not fully comprehending what he had said. She blinked a few times, trying to readjust to her surroundings. The sun was now low in the sky, barely breaking through the dark clouds. She frowned at Rome before she met Syphax’s gaze.

He gestured with his head behind him, “Everyone’s just about cleared out, we should probably be on the lookout now.”

With a nod from her, they both turned their horses around and began to follow the rest of the Catauni. She had to resist the urge to look back at Rome, to look for them. She clutched at the reins and forced herself to face forward, towards Gaul. After a few minutes, she relaxed in her seat. The temptation was gone.

Up ahead she heard her parents and Cingerix laughing. She smiled when she saw Cirta resting on Cingerix’s shoulder, chittering happily while Cingerix smiled brightly at Euthymios.

Lysandra looked around her and saw that all of her people were talking with excitement, it made her heart swell. Quietly, she began to hum the song she had composed that day. Syphax looked at her with excited curiosity. She grinned at him before singing out loud.

Syphax listened to her voice intently, eventually being able to match her rhythm and then he was singing the lyrics along with her. And soon everyone was singing her song. She cringed when she heard Cingerix’s cracking singing voice from the front, but she was still grateful for his support. For all of her tribe’s support.

Under a blanket full of stars, Lysandra blushed at the thought of the Catauni continuing to sing her song once they arrived home to Gaul. They would sing it in front of every campfire. They would sing it for generations after she was gone. Her song would be her legacy. She would be forever grateful that she had chosen Gaul over Rome.

As Lysandra traveled farther away from Rome, a calmness overtook her. It was stronger than her hatred for Rome. Stronger than the lust she had felt for Antony. It was even stronger than the love she had felt for Cassius. She was at peace. She was happy. She was home.

She smiled in the dark.

Lysandra was finally free.

[bobasheebaby]

Gilded Cage- When Fairytales Break chapter 1

Pairing: Liam x MC; Bastien x MC

Word count: 1,589

Warnings: angst, feelings of being trapped, depression, suggestion of past adultery. 

Summary: Everly finds herself contained in the worlds most beautiful cage, but all she wants is to break free. 

A/N: I blame my muse and PB for this series literally no one asked for. My first thought when I saw the cover for TRR4 was “what if the baby comes out looking like Bastien?” My muse took this to a kinda dark place. There was no scandal, Everly was chosen right away. Canon Liam is slightly oblivious, especially when it comes to MC having feelings for one of their friends, well this Liam is REALLY oblivious. You’ll see, he’s not evil, just a little blind to the facts.

Series warnings: dark, depression, feeling of being trapped, past cheating, cheating, may go NSFW. By asking to be tagged you acknowledge you are at least 18 years of age and can handle the content. 

Let me know if you want to be added or removed from my taglist.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters, I’m borrowing them. 

When I first stepped onto the fancy private jet with Maxwell I had big plans. I would fall deeply in love with a prince and his country. We would get married and live happily ever after. It was supposed to be the perfect fairytale, and I was supposed to be the star, the modern day Cinderella. I didn’t realize then what I realize now, I’m not cut out for royalty. 

The fancy dresses and parties where nice at first, but they weren’t me. I quickly felt trapped, like a caged bird desperate to spread her wings and once again fly free. I found myself ducking away from all the glitz and glam, taking refuge in the gardens. They were the one place at the entire palace that felt normal, calm, serene. It was there that my fairytale was both saved and broken. It was there that my knight in shining armor found me, hiding away trying desperately to pull myself together to be who I was expected to be. It was there that I finally fell in love, not with the prince, but his knight. He found me, saved me. I felt free for the first time since stepping foot in Cordonia. I was once again laughing when I was with him. I felt carefree and normal when I was by his side. I felt hope of still getting a happy ending to my fairytale. I felt like I might once again fly free.

If only it was that simple. 

While my knight saw me as I was, a broken bird in a gilded cage desperate to be set free my prince saw me for who he thought I was. He saw a girl who would be a wonderful and benevolent queen who would rule by his side. He didn’t see how broken I was inside. He didn’t see the dried tears on my cheeks, or the forced smiles. He saw his happily ever after in me. He found his love with me, and I was once again trapped in my beautiful gilded cage from the second my name left his lips ‘Everly Thomas’. 

My heart had sunk to the pit of my stomach. No, it couldn’t be. Couldn’t he see I wasn’t who he thought I was? Couldn’t he see the broken girl I had become? Why would he insist on trapping me within this gilded cage? 

I tried to reason with him, tell him that I wasn’t who he thought I was. I tried to tell him I would make a horrible Queen. He brushed my words away as fears, cold feet. Everyone I tried to reach out to did. Everyone but my perfect knight. He was the only one who saw me as both the broken bird I’d become and the beautiful bird flying freely by his side. He was the only one who saw me, truly saw me. The real me. 

I know you think I should be happy a prince could fall for a lowly waitress like me. I should stop complaining and be happy. The problem is, whether or not the cage is gilded or not one fact remains, it’s still a cage. 

Tears dripped onto the page, ink running, as Everly dropped her pen. She rested her hand on her slightly swollen stomach. “Oh my little bird, I wish we could be free to soar.” She whispered softly. “I wish I hadn’t failed you so. You will grow in this gilded cage looking out at the world wishing to fly free. If I hadn’t been so wrapped up in fairytales and happy endings we would both be free to soar in and out of the clouds. I’m so sorry little bird, please forgive me.” She sniffled as she looked out over the courtyard from her balcony. The most beautiful cage is still a cage. Oh I wish I was free to fly. As much as she felt trapped and hated her life, the life her child would be born into she knew she would never have her little bird if she hadn’t come to Cordonia. How can something be both your fairytale and your worst nightmare? 

Everly closed her journal as she wiped her tears away. She stood and walked back into her large bedroom. Fit for a Queen. She tucked her journal away in the back of her underwear drawer, closing it just as she heard the door to their quarters open. She plastered her fake smile onto her lips, she never had a true smile grace her face anymore. The smiles that made her face split in two and her eyes sparkle were gone the day he stepped away. He couldn’t be hers, he never was and never could be. As much as they both hoped with all their hearts that they could have their fairytale ending it wasn’t meant to be. So he stepped aside when the second ring was slipped on her finger, the final nail in the coffin containing her freedom, her final chain securing her safely inside her gilded cage. 

“Hello love, how’s our little bird today?” Liam asked, his arms slipping around her waist, hands resting on her small bump. He kissed the crown of her head smiling into her hair. 

Everly blinked back hot stinging tears, from her grass green eyes at his use of her nickname for her child. They are my little bird. You took my freedom, do you have to take everything? Her heart ached in her chest, nothing was hers anymore, she lost all her freedoms the moment she said ‘I do’. “Little bird is doing great.” She said turning in his arms, false smile on her lips. This is your life now. There is no getting out. She froze in place, her forced smile faltering when she saw him over her husband’s shoulder. Her white knight, the man she loved and lost. The man she was doomed to long for eternity. What’s he doing here? He never comes into the quarters. Her heart raced as her tear filled grass green eyes met his stormy grey. He stood, back straight, hands clasped behind his back, his stoic face twitched as their eyes met. “Liam, why is Bastien here?” She asked pulling back, struggling to conceal her emotions from her face and voice. 

“Love, I have to go away to save a deal.” Liam stated, brushing her cheek with his hand, not noticing her flinch away from his touch. 

Everly’s face fell, for all the luxuries she was supposed to gain by being Queen, she saw none of them. She thought she might at least see the world, but she was almost always left behind, always held in her gilded cage. Her eyes turned downward, she knew what was coming he was leaving she was staying, and her knight would be off with her prince while she sat alone in her cage. 

Liam tilted her head up, his chestnut brown eyes warm and loving locking on her solemn grass green. He didn’t flinch, he never noticed when she was sad or broken, not really. The only man to ever notice was the only man she could not have. 

“Now love, I know you’re sad and will miss me, but I’ve asked Bastien here because I want to leave him with you. That way I know my love and little bird are safe.” Liam said looking deep into her eyes. 

Everly’s heart pounded in her ears. He’s leaving me with my knight? He wouldn’t if he knew. Her mind raced, did he know, suspect? Was this some sort of test or trick? She glanced at Bastien seeing the same surprise painted on his face. Her eyes met Liam’s once more, all she saw was warmth and love. No, this wasn’t a test. He still had no clue what Bastien meant to her. He had no clue that she was a bird trapped in a gilded cage begging to to set free. He was clueless and may never know. She swallowed turning away. “Okay.” She replied nodded. Her hand grazed her bump, if only things were different little bird. How could she ignore her feelings with him stuck in her cage with her? She had been sure her prison could never be worse than it was, she now knew she had been wrong. Her love, the man that held her heart trapped by her side was almost a fate worse than the lonely existence she had grown used to. She wasn’t sure she would be able to resist him or stay away if they were alone together. 

“Sir, are you sure I wouldn’t be more needed by your side?” Bastien questioned.

Everly turned at his words, eyes locking once more. She saw everything she felt floating in his stormy grey eyes, fear, confusion, love.

“Nonsense Bastien. Everly is far more important than I am now that she is carrying our heir.” Liam replied. 

Everly flinched at Liam’s words. Heir, that’s all she was useful for, providing heirs. She sat in her gilded cage and was supposed to be happy surrounded by riches, never leaving. She was seen as a means to an end by many, a way to get an heir. I’m sorry little bird. Oh what she would give to escape her gilded cage, to fly free once more, to be by the side of her handsome knight happy and free. Her hand grazed her bump. If only… If only it were his, then she could be free of her gilded cage. 

Feedback fuels me, please like, comment or reblog to let me know how much you like it. I can handle the screams, so scream away. 

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[umccall71]

Chapter 17

Characters: Prince Liam and MC Lady Sexy

Rating:Mature content includes profanity, sexual content,talks about depression.

Word Count:4460

Disclaimer:All characters are property of Pixelberry except my OC Lady Saige. The use of these characters are for entertainment only and i am only borrowing them.

Summary:After a summer of a lifetime,Prince Liam thought he could have it all.He was carefree, free, and sharing time with the woman of his dreams.When life was easy, a balancing act between love and duty, he realizes his truths are lies, wrong is right, and decisions do have consequences. Lady Saige never imagined she would be one of his consequences.When an utter act horror throws her world into a tailspin.

Warning: This series contains subject matter of depression,pregnancy, violence, and sensitive sexual content.The story may trigger certain individuals. Please be advised. If you are reading this series you are acknowledging you are 18+.

A/N:Sorry for the long delay.Things have been hectic in my life for a bit.I had to take some time to focus on my health. Thanks for your understanding and support.

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It had been a week since the coronation and Liam and Saige were settling into life in the gilded cage of the palace.There was no room off limits with the exception of the bedroom, Liam was adamant that the space belong to he and his queen. The afternoon was dedicated to preparing King Liam for his trip .

“Love, you could always come with me to Italy. Francesco would love to spend time getting to know you better.`` Liam smiled.

Liam bent down to nuzzle Saige’s neck, she moaned, “At this rate, we will never finish getting you packed my king.”

Liam felt a shiver hearing his wife address him in that sensual tone, “what’s the point of being a monarch if you cannot dictate their schedule… I will always make time to take care of my queen.”

Saige playfully rolled her piercing blue eyes, “Liam… I have my doctors appointment in two days… we wouldn’t be back in time. I have to think of our little baby… including being a prompt mommy to them caring for their health… and mine.”, she gently kissed him on the cheek. “Next time? I promise I will be beside you.”she craned her neck up to stare into his eyes thoughtfully.

Liam leaned his forehead against Saige’s and closed his eyes, inhaling her scent.

“ As much as I want to have you there with me… I can’t argue with you thinking about our baby first. I love you for that… always being so considerate.”, he squeezed her tightly to his chest. Liam has taken the day to spend with his wife , preparing for his trip.

“Saige, I am going to call you every night before bed and we can share the events of our days.”he smirked, “then We can can make up for lost time as I repeatedly will make you mine … driving your pleasure over and over… hearing you moan and groan my name”, his eyes darkened with lust.

“Hey… down boy… we have to get you ready for work tomorrow and make sure you are punctual, present monarch. We would not like the Italians to believe that you are off your game.`` she laughed as she swatted his chest through his T-shirt.

“Love … we can ask Olivia to stay with you until I get home. Home to you and our baby… that’s where my mind will be”,he softly cupped her belly.

“Liam, Olivia has a life of her own… a home of her own… she has spent too much time babysitting me. We will be here surrounded by palace staff attending to our needs.I'm pretty sure I can manage a few days away from you.”, she wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning her head against his chest. “ I will miss you, but this is the life we signed up for… together. I knew that I would have some nights away from you,she ghosted her fingers across his face.

“You are my downfall my queen… I’m not sure how I can spend a night away from ….you. I will be expecting a full report upon my return.`` he laughed. “I’m sure our baby will have exemplary marks from the doctor.The couple spent the remainder of the day sharing stories about expectations for the pregnancy, sharing dinner , and packing Liam’s bags.

Evening rolled into night… and the wee hours of the morning when a thunderstorm rolled in suddenly.Saige grasped at Liam as they laid in bed together… feeling a sense of uneasiness.Saige felt a little sweaty and stood from the bed , walking to the French doors of their bedroom overlooking the gardens down below. She opened the doors, inhaling the fragrances of roses, lilies,hydrangeas,orchids, and daisies floating through the air. She closed her eyes slowing the misty breeze to dance across her skin. She stood out on the balcony in a tank top and boy short pajamas.. barefoot feeling the cool concrete beneath her feet.

Liam crept up behind her wearing only a cotton pair of pajama bottoms. He ran his fingers through his bed head hair trying to tame it. His blonde hair refused to conform to his request. Saige leaned into him as she felt his arms wrap around her and his lips graze her ear lobe. Her hair began sticking to his bare chest from the dampness brought upon by the rain.

“Umm hmm… this feels amazing… it’s cool , but not cold, she whispered into the air.Liam turned he body to nestle her directly against his chest, when he reached down and led the edge of her tank top up over her head, smirking that sly smile as he tossed it on the floor of the balcony. He began kissing her lips as if his life depended on it. He licked and sucked her exposed skin around her ear and leading down her chest. “Now this… this feels amazing love,'' he growled as his lips took her erect pink bud into his warm mouth, flicking back and forth.

“Liam… god what are you doing to me?”she questioned looking up at him through hungry, lust blown eyes.

He grinned and leaned down, “if you have ask… I’m not doing it right.`` he chuckled as his wet fingertips made a path down her belly ..rubbing against her shorts, guiding them down her weakened thighs. He gripped her around the waist,tugging her thong apart at the seams.. growing impatient.He lifted her legs to to wrap around his waist. He ran his fingers through her wet folds… toying with her clit .

Saige’s head fell back from the overwhelming sensation overtaking her body. “Liam...oh god…”Her breathing became uneven and haunting as she started grinding against his waist … her body had a mind of it's own now… he was her compass leading the way . Liam growing erection pressed against her center through his bottoms… he too needed to spring free of his confines. “My queen… my Saige… oh how I need you….”, his lips found hers again , struggling to maintain composure.

She pulled at his pants.. desperately trying to feel his throbbing manhood … she pushed his bottoms down, but not enough to allow open access to … him .

“Your wish is command my queen “, his chest rose , fighting to contain his breath… wanting to take her… that very moment. “What do you want of me love?”, his darkened blue eyes found hers smoldering eyes… hoping for her to say what he feels in the intense moment.

She nipped at his neck as she held on… “I want all of you.. I need all of you my king”, her sensuality dripping off her lips. She was now soaked from the storm and from her desire to feel him.Liam held her up against him as he fought to get his pajama bottoms down and off . He was leading her inside to their marital bed, but she stopped him.

She shot him a look...shook her head...she gently sucked his lips… “no my king… I need you here and now. I want to feel in the storm as you have your way with me, she moaned as she felt two fingers inside her as his thumb pressed gently against her clit. He increased his pace as his fingers curled to play against her spot deep within, while continuing his pleasingly teasing of her clit. Saige lifted and lowered her hips on his hand, riding his hand as she felt a deep burning in her belly. She tingles all over, legs started to shake as she felt her climax was moments away.

Saige bucked her hips against his hand… pleading to feel him. Saige felt her center tightening like a dam about to break. “Liam watched the intensity grow in her eyes and across her face, “ baby, cum for me… I know you want to come undone for me.” Like an obedient woman.. she burst from ecstasy, her nectar ran down his hand… coating his fingers. “Liam… oh god Liam … I’m coming baby!”, she rode a boisterous groan from the sensation of his hand tugging at her spots.

Liam pulled back … looking on with lust blown eyes locked on her body as she felt her release. He stuttered, “yes?... do you?”, he trailed off kissing her fiercely.

Saige swallowed his words, agreeing with unspoken words… working through actions. Her slender fingers gripped his massive member growing stiffer under her touch. He quickly thrust inside her already slick folds ...she was still wet from her last release just moments ago.Liam groaned loudly as he felt her loving encasing his enormous prowess tightly. He allowed her time to adjust before he slowly slid deep into her wanting sex. Liam ground his hips against her as she lifted her hips to come down on his member. Saige rode the pleasure coursing through muscles and limbs. She knew how this beautiful man made her feel on so many levels.

“Fuck Saige… your so damn tight baby… fuck you know what I want.”, his words became choppy as he started to buck wildly, gripping her ass as he drove in and out of her moments away from his release,she suddenly collapsed against him as she burst again… this time coating his massive member that was throbbing inside as she fluttered around him. “Liam!....”,she shook as he held her guiding her up and down his shaft … his teeth tugged her buds as he too met his own release. “Awwww Saige… damn I love you.”he tended as he held her … both allowing their pulse to slow down from the acrobatics.

Liam brushes the loose hair away from her eyes. He carried her inside running them both a shower to warm up cans clean up after their love making in the rain. They stared at each other silently as he gently kissed and washed away the traces of his manhood. “ Liam, I love you so much.”she sighed. He pulled her close with no space left between their bodies. He finished up cleaning them both before wrapping her in an oversized towel carrying her to bed. Liam slid a loose cotton gown over her small frame. He pulled her close and wrapped her up in his loving arms as they slept into the morning.

Liam and Saige watched as the hours flew by before it was now time to leave. “Liam, be safe… I will miss you.” He kissed the center of her forehead as they walked with their intertwined fingers toward the door to the royal quarters. Bastien met them at the front entrance to the palace taking Liam’s bags and laptop.

“We are ready when you are your majesty… we’ll be in the car.” Liam pulled Saige to him kissing her lips gently and leaned down to whisper, “I’ll be home with you before you know it love.” She nodded her head , trying to keep it together. Saige knew this would be one of many times she would separated from her king. She squared her shoulders, smiled widely, and waved as the SUV made its way down the driveway and outside the golden gates. The palace quickly disappeared in the distance as they neared the private airfield. Liam buckled himself in tight, pulled out his phone and sent a message to his wife, “The sun rises and sets, but my love for you will never descend.”

*

It had been twenty-four hours since Liam had arrived in Italy. The day flew by.. it was now time for his nightly chat with Saige. This was a promise that he would keep … faithfully. Saige laid beneath the sheets with the door to the suite cracked allowing a gentle breeze to enter the room. She found comfort in wearing Liam’s shirt and a pair of pajama shorts. She lifted his shirt to her nose inhaling the soothing scent of his cologne. The blend of sandalwood and outdoors were relaxing to her in his absence.

The screen of the iPad lit up as she grinned seeing a picture of Liam with the incoming FaceTime call. “Hey you… how was your day?”, Saige smiled widely at seeing his face… his grin.

“My day just got a lot better now that I get to see your beautiful face love. God baby I miss you… I miss you both.`` he sighed as his eyes glossed over thinking about spending another night alone. “Two more days and I will be there to tuck you into our bed.” he whispered softly. “Saige… what did I do to get so damn lucky to have you?”

Saige smiled and shrugged playfully, “hmmm… what did you do? That’s right, you stole my heart Liam.”

The couple chatted and laughter filled the room as she shared how Olivia insisted upon meeting her at the doctors appointment. “Good luck getting that one to take no for an answer,'' she giggled.

“I ate all my dinner… the kitchen staff made me an early dinner. I was tired .. so I turned in early.”

“Good Girl”, he smirked pleased by her quiet night.

“Where’s Bastien… I thought he was always around when you sent these things?`` she laughed.

“He’s in his room in the suite we are sharing. It was a productive day, but I’m missing my best girl something fierce.`` he smiled biting his lower lip. “You look exhausted, I see you fighting to hide your yawn,'' he chuckled.

“Saige… I will call you in the morning to start my day right.”he smirked and wiggles his brows.

“How about I call you after the appointment? I’m sure as much as you love… your mind will be on this little one.”, she propped herself up on her fist while her eyes started to flutter.

“Your adorable when your tired,'' he smiled. “Good my love, sleep well. I love you… both of you with all my heart.”

Saige laid her head back on the soft pillows, “I love you too my king.Think of me tonight as you rest. We need you bright eyed for tomorrow… you are definitely making an impression on Italy and the statesman. Good night love.”

She blew a silent kiss just before ending the call. “Your daddy is the best little baby. He certainly knows how to make a girl feel special.” She pulled the sheets up around her chin when she heard a slight noise in the living area. She slowly padded down the darkened hallway toward the kitchen to check while obtaining a snack. Saige quietly giggled while patting her belly, “I might as well get a snack while we check on things.”

She rounded the corner and tried to adjust her eyes to the darkness when she suddenly felt a pain as a large hand gripped her throat, “shut your damn mouth you little bitch.”

Saige panicked as she couldn’t breathe, her hand instinctively went to protect her belly. Tears began welling up in her eyes. She felt a sweaty palm cover her mouth as the stench of foul cigar smoke and scotch laced together causing her stomach to lurch as the smell overtook her senses.

Suddenly as she tried to fight back, she felt another set of hands grabbed her by the arms holding her in place as the large figure invaded her personal space. Saige cried out through a muffled scream when she felt an iron fist crashing down upon her face.Her voice was captured in her throat strangled down by a limp and pressure upon her neck. She felt dizzy as she heard the familiar voice barking orders, “drag the little tramp over to floor, where her kind is used to be handled,'' he retorted.

Saige felt her warm tears escaping as she felt the sting from the punch to her face. She listened as another set of footsteps approached, both the minions grabbed her, she felt her scalp on fire as the large man yanked hands full of her auburn locks. She felt beads of sweat starting to gather on her forehead and chest. Saige felt a tightening in her chest as she hyperventilated beneath… “Constantine”, she strangled our against his hand. She felt his fist come down again this time landing right beneath her eye. She couldn’t fight back… her body was restrained by both of his henchmen. One at either side of her as she wriggled trying to protect herself to no avail.

“ I see your getting warmed up for a real man, instead of a son. I know you love to feel it rough.. being dominated by every inch leaving the remnants in it's way. You will remember I was here… not like last time you tramp… turning my son against me.” He forced his vile tongue into her mouth, she bit him. His hand came up and back slapped her across the cheek, “bitch!”

He grabbed at her breast under the shirt that bared the scent of her beloved…. “Liam”, she silently pleaded.Saige struggled to see as the area under her eye began to swell from his ring making impact against her face. “Get this shit out of my way so she can enjoy every bit .of.me”, he released a sinister laugh.

The guard to her left tore the shirt from her chest… exposing her breast and belly. Saige tried to clench her knees together, blocking what she was dreading to be her fate. She felt Constantine violently grab her shorts and underwear together and tear them from her body.She screamed under his hand as he grazed her private spot. Her arms and legs held down and opened wide by his willing participants. Saige shook as his hand intruded her body touching her in ways Liam never would… she knew Liam would never allow his lust to hurt her, to cause her pain. She turned her face away from him, trying desperately to block out this crime against her,against her baby. Saige squeezed her eyes tightly as she felt him jam himself inside of her without a care in the world for her or her child’s well being.

“Ummmm!”he cried out from feeling her tight around his member. Her eyes stretched ash she felt a mixture of agony and sickness at this violent act against her. She silently him to stop , to go away, to get off of her. All she could feel was his hips rocking , thrusting , thrashing about on top of her. “Noooooooo!”she cried out under his hand. She turned her eyes to look to her right at one of the men trying to avoid her gaze… avoid her cries… “Travis”, the man that was tapped to protect her was taking part in hurting her.

Constantine forced himself harder and faster inside of her hips as he neared his release… he pulled out and released himself all over her belly. He coughed as he caught his breath, “ Now I see why son is losing his damn mind… you are a fine piece of ass”, he chuckled as he stood to adjust himself back into his trousers. He finally had his way… to hell with what she wanted or didn’t want from him. “Good night gutter queen… now go clean yourself up.” Saige laid on the floor , paralyzed with fear, pain,hurt, shock… unable to process how such a heinous crime was committed against her and .. the baby.

Saige heard the door close as the men left her, her perpetrators left her in a pool of blood and refuge from him… expelling his contents on her without a thought. She balled up in a fetal position clutching her stomach and Liam’s shirt , racked with agonizing pain. She knew at a time like this , the royal guards should have been called to help her… but they too hurt her in unspeakable ways. Saige could barely move her body when she finally passed out … her minds way of shutting down. All she thought about was Liam … nowhere near to help her or … their baby.

*

The next morning Saige’s phone was ringing incessantly..it was Olivia that had already arrived at her doctor's appointment. She left a message… hell she left ten messages worried about her friend. The appointment was at ten o’clock, but it was now past eleven . Olivia frantically called Liam wondering had he heard from Saige… he excused himself from the room to take the call. “Liv… are you two through at the doctors already? Saige told last night that she would call when she done with the check up.”

Liam could hear the normally stoic Olivia , worry lacing her words as she asked, “Liam have talked to Saige today?”she tried to hold her tone , to keep him from freaking out. He swallowed hard, nerves bubbling up to the surface, “Liv, she’s supposed to be meeting you this morning… what happened? Did you get your wires crossed?”, he couldn’t get his air out of his lungs. “Let me contact her guard that was on duty last night.”

Before Liam could say any more he heard the door to the doctor’s office slam closed, Olivia races out of the building into her car… heading to the palace. While Liam kept trying to get ahold of the guard , unsuccessfully, Olivia made it there and jutted up the stairs. She sprinted down the hallway toward the royal quarters… “no guard”, she panicked dialing Liam . As she slowly opened the door, Liam listening as she made her way inside… he fought back the feeling of dread.

Olivia moved quietly through the entrance to the royal living area when she bumped into a figure in the floor. She let out a blood curdling scream as she saw her best friend lying unconscious on the floor, naked in a pool of blood. Saige… oh god noooooo!”

Liam dropped the phone and clasping his mouth trying to conceal his lips from quivering. Bastien noticed that his king was in distress, he quickly moved into position to get him out of there . He was on the phone trying to reach the guard that was on duty, assigned to the queen. “No answer”, he rushed Liam to the car heading back to the hotel that was nearby to gather his belongings and make it to the airport.

Bastien called Olivia asking her was she with the queen , Olivia broke down as she explained in horror the state of Saige. She told Bastien that she was going to get her to the hospital and would be waiting for them to arrive.Olivia called drake to help her, not knowing who she could trust. “Drake… Liam will not recognize her… oh dear god.”, she cried for her friends. They collected her wrapping her in a blanket, making way to Drake’s truck as he sped off away from the palace … his eyes glazing over with a sense of sadness for the hell they had ahead of them.

The truck pulled up to the private entrance as Olivia had called ahead to the doctor, making sure to protect their privacy from the press and prying eyes.The limited members of the medical staff were rushing around the queen in a frenzy. The doctor set Olivia and Drake up in a private waiting room across from the Queen. Drake held Olivia in his arms as she gave him a glimpse into something very few had a front rower seat to see.. her tears. She couldn’t shake the image of seeing Saige naked and bloody , passed out… “what happened to her ? .. who would do this to her… in her home?!”, she leaned her head against Drake as they waited for hours to see the state of the queen.

After countless hours waiting the room door opened… Liam and Bastien walked inside.. the silence was deafening. “Have they told anything?”his voice was low . “Liv… what happened? Why is she here?”, Liam fought to make sense of the events of the last twenty-four hours. Before anyone could respond, the waiting room door opened again, the doctor meeting Liam’s gaze with a sadness . “Your majesty… may I have a word with you… privately?”, his eyes darted around the room.

Liam asked the group for a moment alone… they obliged. Liam’s blue eyes clouded by tears threatening to spill were on the brink. “Sir… when your wife was brought in to us… she was unconscious. We have ran test and thoroughly examined her…``he trailed off momentarily.

“Will she be okay? What happened to her? Is the baby going to be okay?”, Liam balled his fist trying to keep himself up. The next few minutes , everything slowed to blur for him. He felt his legs get weak, “sir, she was ….”

Liam could no longer comprehend any words that followed what he had just been told.The doctor slowly walked him across the hall to her room where the love of his life laid battered, bruised, beaten, and unconscious. He didn’t know which was worse… being unconscious and unaware of what has transpired or walking around ... painfully aware of all that lost. Liam Laid his head on her bed beside her as his tears escaped his eyes as he looked on at his vibrant wife, unrecognizable from just twenty-four hours ago. His eyes were bloodshot red as he continued to cry for Saige and for … their baby.

[geminidarksidehasawoken]

Unbreak Me.

"Its Time To Say I Do"

About: Its time to say I do, it's his wedding day, will it be happily ever after?

@ao719 @syphaxs

I gripped the bouquet of white roses as they sparkled in the sun, the doors to the cathedral opened and I held my head high, while my heart thundered in my chest. I found his eyes across the room as he beamed up at me, raking his eyes across my body like a physical caress and the memories of our last night together drowned me. Watching him looking at me so hungrily gave me courage to put one foot before the other as the white mermaid tail dress, restricted my movements, because there in that moment I wanted to run to him.

My eyes wondered around the room as I smiled at all the friends and people I had come to love and know here. Drake standing tall at his place always beside Liam. Maxwell for the first time since meeting him the smile on his face wasn't genuine. Bartie, Savannah and Bertrand sat in the pews trying to calm a restless baby boy.

Olivia's proud smile faltered as she watched Drake watches me. The cathedral was filled to capacity of the countries noble here to wish their king and queen a happy life together.

Time was moving at breakneck speed as Drake gave me a sad smile, if only.

Regina smiled down at me, and for the first time since I've known her I saw her composure slip as she looked between me and Liam. Tears glistened in Queen Mothers eyes as she cleared her throat as Liam recited his vows staring into my eyes, writing them in my soul.

"My Queen, in this world so cruel and cold I promise to be your anchor, I promise to be your safe harbour. I'll love you through the pain and I know you will guide me through whatever darkness we ever encounter as you are my lighthouse my safe place and my saving grace. I promise to love and cherish you for as long as we both shall live, I love you today, tomorrow and forever." As he spoke to my soul, I couldn't help the tears that flowed, as I was ready, but nothing could have ever prepared me for pain that engulfed me as he lifted her veil as Queen Mother said "You may kiss you queen" and with his eyes still locked onto mine, tears shining in his eyes I saw the *_lips_* , lips that last night touch my most intimate parts, lips that marked me as his forever now kissing another woman, Madeline. My knees gave way under the burden of my heart finally shattering into a million pieces as Hana caught me, using her strength to keep me upright.

***Liam***

I saw the very moment I cracked her soul. The moment her body swayed beneath the pain. I looked for her throughout the dinner party hoping to find her, to hold her of just for a song on the dance floor but she was nowhere to be seen. I'd finally caught up with Maxwell to find out where she was. "I'm sorry your Majesty, but I haven't seen her since the wedding" he apologized. A lump the size of hand rose into his chest and lodged into his throat choking him.

***Riley***

"Hana, please get this off me, I-I-I can't breathe" I cried my air supply cutting off. "I c-c-can't breathe" my lungs burned and part of me wanted to just die in that moment. "Oh God! Oh God! I can't b-b-breathe! I can't breathe!" My hands grabbing at my throat at the maid of honours dress that was suffocating me. "Riley, Riley, please stay still so I can get you out" she sobbed. I hear the ripping of the dress as she used her fingers to tear a hole in the dress and freed me but yet I still couldn't breathe because my air was Liam.

There was a pounding on the door as she raced to finish ripping the dress off me so that I could breathe. I stumbled to the bathroom and sat there in the shower crying uncontrollably as the pain of watching my first love, my first lover marry someone else. I just couldn't breathe.

Around me, words buzzed but I could scarcely make out the words as my body shook with the pain of losing him.

I knew it would hurt, I'd prepared myself for this but the truth of the matter was nothing could ever prepared me for this pain... The pain of watching the man you love, choose his duty to his people over being the safety net he had promised to be.

The curtains of the shower came back and I met Drake's sad eyes. "Oh hell Whitely, we'll get through this" he whispered as Hana joined him.

***Liam***

As the reception was drawing to a close and I held my new wife in my arms I felt nothing but pain. Madeline beamed up at me and whispered "You could at least look like a happily married man instead of pinning over her in public," she said softly but I didn't miss the bite of bitterness in her tone.

"Why did you ask her to do it? Get the ring as well as be your maid of honour?"

Her cheeks and ears burned red at being called out. "I-I-" she couldn't say the words, as the look in his eyes worried her and she knew their marriage would always be a loveless one, as his heart could and would never be hers.

The last noble had left and he could finally slip away. Bastien trailed behind them as they walked to their quarters a place he was hoping he would get to share with her. He couldn't sit still and regardless of what happened he had to see her. He raced to the visitors quarters and knocked on the door. But no answer came but empty silence, hid patience wearing thin he opened the door without permission only to find it empty. An envelope stood on the side table with his name.

Dear Liam,

I am sorry, I am just not strong enough. Thank you for having me, but I can't stay, I wish you all the best with your new bride. I have no doubt Cordonia, will be safe and prosperous during your reign.

P.S: Drake and Hana have opted to stay with me for a bit.

Goodbye

Liam, my King

I wanted to shout and scream but I couldn't. Taking up the letter I felt the weight of the day killing me as my knees bent and I stumbled, the bed nearby breaking the fall, enveloped in her scent. They say a man isn't supposed to cry, yet here in the darkened room I the king cried for the woman I had lost.

[thefirstcourtesan]

Misha’s ACoR Fics

I am not linking 300+ fanfics here and all my work is housed on the Choices Fanfic Archive and available through my profile, but since this blog is pretty A Courtesan of Rome-centric and that is also where most of my current inspiration is coming, I did decide to create a masterlist of ACoR fics.

Antony x Portia

Canon (ish)

A Fitting Reward [Adult]- A missing scene from Chapter

Favours [Adult]- A missing scene from Chapter 11

Games That We Play- missing scene/alternative take after Chapter 2 

Just Us [Adult]- Missing scene from Chapter 17

Only You [Adult]- An alternate ending to Chapter 15

Parts to Play (also contains Cassius/MC)- A missing scene from chapter 13.

Victorius [Adult]- Alternate ending to Chapter 14

When in Rome [Adult]- A rewrite of the diamond scene in Chapter 9

When the World Stands Still [Adult]- Missing scene from chapter 18

From This Moment On [Adult]- Missing scene from the end of chapter 21. 

Marc Antony’s Woman [Adult] Chapters 1-10 A retelling of the events of A Courtesan of Rome Chapter 15 onward from the Portia’s POV. [WIP]

Portia: A Roman Tragedy A canon-divergent AU, telling the tragic story of Rome’s most celebrated courtesan and those who loved her. 

From the Shadows (also contains some Syphax/MC) [Syphax PoV]

Contradictions

And So We Begin [Adult]

Manipulations of the Heart (also contains Cassius/MC)

No One But Myself (also contains Cassius/MC)

All My Desires

Everything I Am [Adult]

What is Real [Adult]

To Be the Victor [Adult]

His Woman [Adult]

For Her [Sabina PoV

Darkness and Light [Delphinia PoV]

The Better Man (also contains Cassius/MC) [Cassius PoV]

The Ghost of You [Antony PoV]

The Deepest Wounds [Mature] [Antony PoV]

And Death Wears Her Face [Mature] [Antony PoV]

Antony and Portia: NSFW Alphabet [Adult] NSFW Alphabet Drabbles (so far A, B, E. H and N are done) [Adult]

For the Glory of Rome When Caesar finally returns to Rome, Portia must put aside her thirst for revenge and find a way to survive, and thrive, in Caesar’s Rome.

Nothing I Want More [Adult]

The Choices We Make

The Best Years of Our Lives: A College AU Portia is a college freshman with a mysterious past, hoping to start over. Marc Antony is an arrogant frat bro, who is determined to gain her attention.  Hello, Gorgeous Dare to Give In [Adult] In The Early Hours [Adult]

Other AUs

The Roses of Elysium- Co-written with @boneandfur, set in 1920s Chicago. [WIP]

Unprofessional [Adult]- An AU where Antony is the boss and Portia his new secretary. 

Syphax x Moira A Very Dangerous Man (contains slight Antony/MC) [Mature] Personal Vengeance [Mature] You Give Me Strength

Brighid x Cassius/Brighid x Antony

In Another Life 

[camcantarella]

How fitting is it that this blog’s 1st anniversary falls on Fandom Love Friday??? My last FF was in 2018, 2019 has shown which of the people I thought were my friends actually weren’t so!! Just wanna take a moment to acknowledge my mutuals, my friends, people who’ve been with me from the beginning, and people who I just love seeing on my dash, even if we aren’t mutuals! Sorry if I missed anyone (I always miss a bunch), tried to make this one a bit shorter than the last and im not up-to-date on url changes!

Musette/Smoothie Dude Shippers Club! - you all forever have my love

@asthesunhasrisen: Ames, we made it! I love you so much for sticking around since well before the sabotaged marrish days. (Jeff Davis, who?!?!?) The fact that you always ship all my ships, genuine or not and friends or not, means the world to me and I couldn't ask for anything more! Oh and one more thing! HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY!!!!!!!!

@bobasheebaby, @scalpeljockeybrycelahela, @brightpinkpeppercorn: my loves! all of you share 2 things. you love musette and you love my Cantarellas.

@ladynonsense, @littlecrookedheart: literal lifesavers! thank you for letting me blow your inboxes up when I'm overflowing with Musa feels.

@zaffrenotes @scrappysheep @urnotmyrealmom: thank you guys for also silently following this ship’s journey and showing your support!!! it means so much

Brotp forever

@adelindschade: You’re def not in this fandom but I’ll never forget how ecstatic you were the first time we talked or how you were there for me when I was in a dark place. I love you, Cass! No matter how much time passes or how crazy our lives get I know we’ve always got each other’s backs! Cassette will never die

Other friends, mutuals, or faves

(Let me not write an essay for everyone here)

A - E

@aurorasemery @celestial-attuned-twins @bigfrigginmargarita @cordonianredruby  @boneandfur @beaumontbash @blackbirdyazdi @danniasturias @drmortum

F-K

@imogen-wescott @flowerpowell @k-sayeed @kinda-iconic @helentwombly  @choiceanon @justafriendlyanonblog @h-doodles @itlivesbeneath @graceless-stuff @islanderschoices @griselda1121 

L-R

@leonscottskennedy @rebeccaschoices @lizeboredom @livdenaraswife  @nikrydcr @pixelsbichoice @rafaveiro @maxwellsquidsuit

S-Z

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[queerchoicesblog]

The Princess Of Gaul - Pt. 1 (ACOR, Lena x MC)

Hello lovelies! Since I kinda miss ACOR in the drought we’re currently facing, here’s the first part of The Princess of Gaul, a rewriting of the first encounter of Lena and Lucilla (MC). I incorporated excerpts of the original book dialogue and expanded the whole scene, adding context, pre and post scenes, further dialogue and so on. The retelling will alternate Lena and Lucilla POV, as anticipated!

Also, I tagged it as “Lena x MC” even though again, it’s not explicitly romantic and here’s the reason why: as far as we know, 8 years passed since the conquest of Gaul in the original book so I feel MC arrived in Rome quite young. I headcanon her being 16 or so at the time, in any case underage and I don’t feel comfortable writing a romance between an adult and a minor. Moreover, I see the Lena x MC as a slow burn relationship: they fell for each other through the years not “at first sight”. That being said, I threw hints foreshadowing a (potential, if you wish) romantic evolution of their story. Feel free to see it in a friendly way, I just stated that their encounter was written in the stars.

DISCLAIMER: this short series contains excerpts of the original dialogue in ACOR chapter 1. I do NOT own the characters of this story nor the original lines: credits go to PB writers.

Word Count: 1264

Perma Tag: @brightpinkpeppercorn @psychopathdreamer21 @bbaba-yagaa @abunchofbadchoices @silverhawkenzie @bhavf @begging-for-kamilah @melodyofgraves @kennaxval @strangerofbraidwood @crazypeanat

Lena Stans Tag: @korrasamixlover @3pawandme @jellymonster @gayestchoices (+ @ifyouseekheart if I remember well! Feel free to ignore it if you’re not interested!)

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Lena POV

Lena was uneasy. That night a scarab appeared in her dreams. Her mother once told her that when you see a dung beetle, even if with the eyes of the mind, “the Gods have something in store for you, my dear girl: a change of fortune, a departure, an unexpected encounter…good or bad, who can tell? Oh, only the Gods know! Let’s just say they’re sending you a warning”. She dreamed a scarab the night before the Roman fleet docked on the shores of Numidia and raided her village. She never saw her mother, her dad, and her siblings again. From that day, Lena feared those dreams. So far nothing had happened, it was just an ordinary day. More or less: Caesar’s legions were expected to arrive in Rome any minute and the city was bursting. But Lena didn’t take part to the celebrations: in her scholae it was just an ordinary day.

All of a sudden, someone knocked at her door. It was Syphax: he was panting as if he ran a long mile to get there.

“Domina, Legate Aquila is approaching with his guards”

Lena rolled her eyes, clearly showing how much that visit displeased her.

“Legate Aquila…he probably wants to scold us for not attending the pompous pathetic show of his Triumph!”

Syphax shook his head: he was clueless about the intentions of the general, he hurried to inform Lena as soon as he spotted him walking towards the scholae.

“I don’t know domina, but it seems that they have a prisoner with them”

“A prisoner?”

“Yes, I’m not sure but it should be a girl”

Oh everything was clear now. He wanted to brag about his brave conquest of the Gaul (if killing off tons of innocent people could be considered an admirable act, Lena thought) and to sell one of the survivors to her so that that poor girl would be the new exotic toy of embarrassingly rich and bored Roman patricians.

“I see…they want to sell her. Fine, let’s go meet our guests, are they here?”

“They should be here any minute, domina”

At that very moment, the sound of clattering armors and celebratory chants came from the main hall. Lena sighed and exchange a look with her friend.

“Let’s go, Syphax: may no one say that Lena doesn’t know how to welcome a winning general”

Minutes later the domina was walking into the main hall of her scholae, Syphax in tow.  Legate Aquila was sitting there on a triclinium with his lieutenant. They were laughing and bantering with each other. Lena put on her best practiced smile and greeted him.

“The Gods are smiling upon you, general Aquila”

The Legate immediately stood and performed an excessive bow. He was clearly drunk.

“Fair, fairest Lena!” he exclaimed walking towards her.

When he finally approached her, he dramatically kneeled in front of her and took her hands into his to place a kiss on her golden rings.

“Oh general! Please stand: you don’t have to kneel in front of me, especially not after your victory in Gaul”

“Yeah, you’re right” he chuckled standing. “I was just showing my loyalty and reverence to the Empress of Rome: we soldiers are simple men, we slay barbarians but you, domina, you slay our hearts with your grace and girls”

Lena flashed him her best smile, courtly bowing her head to conceal the disgust she felt for that man.

“So, what brings you here in my humble scholae in such a prosperous day?” she enquired.

“Straight to the point, huh? Just how I like my ladies” he commented, winking to his lieutenant.

“Well domina, today I feel so blessed by the Gods that I want to be generous. So I walked all the way here with…an offer”

“What kind of offer?”

“I have a deal for you, domina” he announced triumphantly. “I must be out of my mind but no, that’s how it should be: it’s my way to give back to the Gods”

“Yes but you will take her money” the lieutenant interrupted him, giggling.

“That’s true, Aulus, but I am Rome, right?” Aquila noted turning to him.

“What would you like to trade with my money, general?” Lena enquiried.

“A prisoner. The finest prisoner we caught in Gaul”

“I’m not looking for new girls at the moment, Legate. I’m afraid-”

“Huh huh huh” Aquila hushed her and put his hand on her arm. “That’s what you say now but let me show you what we got here. I’m sure you will change your mind”

That said, he led her to the room that one of Lena’s servant pointed to his men.

There stood a bunch of Aquila’s guards surrounding a girl in chains. She was wearing Gallic clothes, a leather bodice and a leather hat embellished with rabbit fur. Lena couldn’t see her well, her eyesight was clouded by the soldiers restraining her. And she was doing her best to keep up with the Legate’s incessant talking.

He was going through the details of the gruesome siege of the Catauni territories with evident pleasure when Lena got sick and tired of his bragging. She was a prisoner once and stories of raids and conquests through blood and fire always made her stomach turn. Summoning every ounce of strength to maintain her decorum, she interrupted him mid-sentence:

“And why should I be interested in bringing this girl into my scholae?”

Legate Aquila turned to her with a smirk.

“She is a princess of Gaul, daughter of a defeated chieftain” he explained before leaning closer to Lena as if to whisper into her ear.

“Do you know how many men would pay good coin for her?”

“I am not yours to sell, monster!”

The angry shout startled both the general and the domina. It came from the girl who took a step forward and was flashing daggers to the Roman Legate. One of the soldiers immediately pushed her back.

Legate Aquila shrugged and was about to proceed with the deal but Lena wasn’t listening anymore. She moved closer to the girl, taking in her figure. The girl was young, most likely not even eighteen. Her skin was as pale as the moon, the contrast with the finely treated leather of her bodice and black ink of the tattoo on her collarbone just tantalizing. A brown curl was dancing on her cheek decorated with blue painting, probably a tradition of her people. Lena finally leveled her gaze with hers: the princess’s eyes were beautifully majestic. Two emeralds gleaming in the light of the day. The domina was particularly intrigued by what she saw in their depths: fire. A wild fire she knew once too but that somehow got tamed. She saw it burning inside the girl in front of her.

No longer paying attention to the Roman general, she spoke directly to the new girl:

“Whose are you then, little princess?”

There was no mockery in her voice as she called her “little princess”, just curiosity and reverence.

The girl was too furious and scared to notice. She tried to move closer as if to physically intimidate the elegant woman standing in front of her and spitted between her teeth:

“You may pay him coin for me and shackle me like a beast, but I will never belong to you!”

Her jaw tensed as she never broke eye contact with the lady looking down at her.

Lena considered her words for a moment then a smile formed on her lips. She gave a decisive nod and turned slightly towards the Legate.

“I’ll take her”

[tigerlilliz]

“Same Time Next Week”

Hi luvs, 

kk So I was driving home a few weeks ago and thought this up. Pisces + traffic = lots of day dreaming. So I decided to make a story about it just for fun!  It took me a bit to post because I was having trouble creating an external account. :(  So I have to post it without the link this time. I apologize, in advance, if it appears long on the feed. 

Disclaimer: All ACoR characters belong to Pixelberry (excluding Désirée/Desi and Maximus) and I do not claim any ownership of them.

Cassius rarely gets the appreciation he deserves.  He was so well written too!  I just wanted to cover a scene about him. Enjoy <3 PS It’s safe for work ^_^

Summary: A trip to the marketplace turned into the surprise reunion Desi was waiting for.

Desi arrived at the market taking in the heat as the sun hit her face. Caesar was satisfied with her performance as she showed little resistance to his advances. She had him right where she needed him, and he was beginning to trust her. After a few months, he permitted her to venture out during the day time. The market was busy this time of day, merchants were boisterous and flamboyant, displaying an array of talents and flattery to lure in customers.

She stopped at a few vendors, but none caught her eye as much as the on merchant just behind the trees. There sat an elderly woman carving a necklace from gemstones. Desi stood admiring the jewelry and trinkets spread across the table when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Hey, would you be alright if I left you alone for a little while?” She had never seen her Maximus as nervous as he was in that moment. He took a deep breath as ran his fingers through his hair. His eyes sparkled as he continued on, “I... uh, I had something I wanted to check out.” Desi peered around him, where she saw another bodyguard fidgeting, pretending to look at dress looking away as soon as her eyes met his. Her eyes returned to Maximus’ who was still staring at the guard. Desi tilted her head to the side, raising her hand slightly as waved at the guard. He blushed and returned her smile, placing a dress back on the table before he started walking over to them.

“I’ll be fine,” Desi asserted, “You should go head. He’s a cute one.”

Maximus couldn’t help but smile as he wrapped his arms around Desi lifting her off the guard in one swoop. “You’re the best,” he exclaimed spinning her around as he giggled in glee. “I’ll meet you back in an hour. I promise!” He rushed over next to the guard playfully punched his shoulder before kissing him on the cheek.

Desi hadn’t known Maximus for long, but he quickly became her best friend and confidant at the villa. He had a rough upbringing and faced a lot of loss too. She enjoyed hearing his stories and sharing hers as well. She remembered the times when she felt butterflies after meeting Syphax and Cassius for the first time. She was happy to give Maximus alone time too.

She continued to glance over the trinkets and figurines laid neatly on the table. One piece, however, took her breath away. It was a carved wooden figurine of an eagle perched on a branch. She couldn’t believe it. What were the odds of her finding another one so similar to the one she lost? Her heart began pounding as she floated into a memory of when she crafted one just like it with Cignerix. It was a rite of passage for the Arnajo (Ar-na-ho) tribe that once someone reached the age of 14, to be assigned a spirit guide. Hers was the eagle, a sacred animal which signified courage, wisdom and strength. She took it everywhere she went along with the dagger given to her by her father. With all worrying she did about Victus and Syphax, she managed to lose the very thing that reminded her of them.

"How much for the eagle?" Desi asked, hoping that she had saved up enough to purchase it. The woman replied, "Oh. I’m sorry child, but that one's not for sale."

It was hard for her to hear those words. She was so close to owning one again and yet she couldn’t have it. She figured maybe it had a special meaning to the woman as well and placed it back down on the table.

Desi turned to walk away as she lady continued. "What I meant was it's not for sale because it belongs to you." She sat the eagle in Desi’s palm closing her hand on top.

"But I don’t understand” Desi stood in disbelief. The woman nudged her to investigate further. As Desi eyes followed the intricate carving, she noticed a small chip on the wing of the eagle. Her eyes lit up as she realized, this was the exact one that she lost. She remembered the day she was running through the woods when she tripped and fell, the eagle chipping as it slammed into the tree in front of her. She'll never forget her father's face when he told her to be more careful for the eagle represented her journey. The eagle and its imperfections taught her to embrace her own.

Desi couldn’t believe this was happening. "How did you…” but before she could finish, the woman told her to look at the note underneath.

Desi flipped the eagle revealing a tiny piece of paper with the words "Turn Around" written on it. She quickly turned to face behind her and to her surprise, Cassius stood holding a single rose. Her eyes flooded with tears as this was the first time she had seen him since being sold to Caesar. His hair was cut shorter and he wore a dark blue tunic, with a green cloak. It was a change from the light colors she normally saw him wear. The deep blue bought out the color in his eyes. She had forgotten just how beautiful his eyes were. A greenish blue with a hint of brown, she easily lost herself in them.

"How? It's really you. You're here and...I" Desi couldn't believe her eyes. She missed him so much. She rehearsed what she would say to him if she ever got the chance to see him again, but nothing prepared her for the flood of emotions she experienced now standing facing him. Cassius lifted his hand to wipe away her tears, landing soft kisses on her cheek where the tears once fell. "I assure you I'm real," Cassius replied pulling her into his embrace. He lips collapsing into hers and without fail, she was overcome with a sense of calmness as all her anxiety melted away.

Cassius exhaled as he began to speak, "I just had to see you for myself. Sabina told me she saw you leave the market last week. If there was even the slightest chance that I would be able to see you again, I'd be a fool not to take it." With his free hand, he picked up the eagle off the table returning it in her hands. He nodded at the merchant slipping her some extra coin as who replied, "He really does know you, huh? I wasn’t sure if you'd come over, but Cassius never gave up hope that you would stop here and find it."

Desi smiled as she realized he still knew her better than most. A look of sadness came over his face as he continued, "After I heard about Antony giving you to Caesar. I blamed myself for a while. Maybe if I had attended the games with you, you would've had another option. I decided to head to the Scholae to offer comfort to Lena and to pack up your belongings. You lost just about everything after the fires in Gaul and I couldn’t let you lose what you accumulated here in Rome too. So I invited Sabina to come with me and we cleaned just about every inch of the place and that's…that's when I saw it." His eyes resting on the carving. "There is was hiding underneath the pillows by Artemis bed this whole time. It may have been thrown in middle of the chaos when Aquila came with his men. Artemis must’ve tried to bury it thinking she would be able to give it back to you the next time she saw you.”

Desi began to choke up, her voice soft as she managed to say, "That was so kind of you to do. I thought I lost it forever. It was one of the few things that I felt truly connected me to Isis."

Cassius held her close, he could feel the wetness of her tears fall on his shoulder. Cassius kissed her forehead as he replied, "I remembered and that's why I had to find a way to return it to you. I'd never forgive myself if you started to lose hope now."

Desi lifted on her toes, her hand behind his head, she pulled him near until her lips met his. "I always considered myself a lucky woman to be in the thoughts of a man so humble and kind."

Cassius smile broaden, his lips remained close to hers. "And I a lucky man to have you to fight for. You changed my life for there is no woman like you who loves as fiercely as she fights for others."

They stood kissing passionately before thanking the woman one more time. The two continued on throughout the market, stopping at a few more vendors here and there. Cassius was carrying a basket slowly filling it with fresh fruits, breads, and cheeses he purchased for Desi to take back with her. He made sure to fill it with a few of her favorite items when she wasn’t looking.

They walk hand in hand, Cassius pace slowly as he eyed a bench near the grassy area. As they approached, Cassius dusted the seat laying his cloak down before encouraging Desi to sit.

He stood taking in how beautiful she looked as she sat under the sun. He wanted to remember this moment because he wasn’t sure when the next time would be until he saw her again. Desi, unknowingly, was doing the same. She watched as Cassius cleared a spot for her, it was something only he would have done.

He joined her resting his hand on her thigh. “You look different” Desi said noticing slight changes in his mannerisms. Her hand running up his arm.

Cassius knew she was also referring to the bulk of his muscles naturally flexed as he rested his arm beside her. “I feel different. I decided it was time to reunite with Brutus. And that means, I have a lot of prepping to do to be ready for what we have planned.”

Desi sat up in curiosity encouraging him to continue.

“Thousands have died while I stayed back in Rome and countless more will lose their lives if we don’t act soon. I lost people who I called my friends. Men whose families are now abandoned as they took their lasts breaths believing their cause was just. They died having plans and goals that will never come to fruition. Dreams of a tomorrow that can only happen if Caesar and Antony’s reign was to end.  And with Brutus by my side, their fight and your time with them would’ve served a purpose.”

She loved seeing the fire in his eyes when he spoke of things he was passionate about. He spoke with such conviction that it would make even the most doubtful want to follow him blindly. She gently squeezed his shoulder before running her fingers through his hair. “Whatever you have planned, I hope I’m there to see it because that look in your eye means you will not fail.”

Cassius leaned into her turning his body to face her. “I don’t plan to. He will pay for what he has done.” His eyes softened as he continued, “So I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about your time spent in the company of Caesar.”

Desi could sense a hint of jealousy though he tried to appear unscathed. She was cautious in her reply. “He is mere a boy in comparison to you. He lacks insight and his judgment is poor. I do what I must to get him to trust me. It’s not a duty that I take lightly, nor do I find solace in. I get no pleasure from being in his company. Every single day, I must talk myself out ending him where he stands. Timing is everything and I can’t afford to act irrationally again for a few minutes of joy only to risk my life, or worse, those I care about because of my negligence and haste. Syphax paid the price for my eagerness before and I promised myself that I can’t let that happen again.”

Cassius’s fingers now intertwined in hers, he squeezed tightly letting her feel his support. “You do what you must to stay strong.”

Desi nodded before replying. “It is the most trying period of my life, Cassius. I’m so close to getting vengeance for the hurt caused to my people, but also to those I’ve come to love in Rome as well. Antony is counting on me to spy for him and, in turn, it allows me to gather pertinent information of those in Caesar’s close circle. With whatever I find, I’d like to know that I can tell you and maybe help your cause for we share the same hatred for Caesar.”

Desi looked down at his hand in hers. “My biggest challenge is that I know it’s not practical or wise to act on my own, but the temptation is far greater the more time I spend by his side. I’ve seduced him to the point where he thinks about me even when he’s awake. He tells others about what he wishes to do to me, and he gets upset if I don’t tell him that I want him in return or resist him in any way. My friend, Maximus, is always telling me the stories he hears Caesar tell around the villa. I have him wrapped around my finger and it feels amazing, but torturous because I cannot yet act on how I feel.”

“And what of your agreement with Antony?” Cassius adjusted himself on the bench. “I may be vocal about my disapproval of how he’s managed things, but I know not to give him a reason to pay closer attention to me. He is a dangerous man if he believes he is being used or misled.”

Desi knew he spoke the truth, but she had seen Antony in a different light. Desi replied, “I’ve grown to like Antony over time. He trusts me and I him. I know the two of you aren’t fond of each other, but it isn’t a reflection of the respect you two share. Antony stood up to Caesar on my behalf a few weeks ago. He noticed that I hadn’t been myself for a while, I was a lot more distant than usual. Caesar wanted to spend every moment with me which angered me more. I didn’t know what path to take next and that wasn’t like me at all. I’ve always had direction. Caesar struck me and Antony did not hesitate to make sure that Caesar knew I was not to be messed with. I must allow Antony more time to see the truth about Caesar that you and I see. That Caesar is not the man of the people Antony thinks he is. He is an evil man and who would betray even Antony if it came down to it. I will not let that happen. Caesar will pay for what he has done. It’s just a matter of whose hands will be stained with his blood.”

Desi looked at Cassius nervously, waiting to see how he would respond. To her surprise, he had that look in his eye again, appreciation for all that she was. "You’re a woman who never ceases to amaze me. I have no doubt that you know what you’re doing and, I guess I owe Antony for watching over you when I cannot be there. I can’t tell you that I would’ve acted much differently seeing you hurting like that. I’ve always loved hearing your perspective and I’m here for you as best as I can be.” He then chuckled to himself, “But to be honest, I’d love you all the same even if you ended up sticking it to Caesar.”

Desi laughed as she was enjoying seeing this side of Cassius. He always accepted her for all that she was, whether bitter or kind. She knew she could tell him the truth and there wasn’t many people whom she could be like that with.

Time went by fast after that. She caught him up on the whereabouts of Syphax and her father while Cassius brought her up to speed about Sabina, Lena, and the rest of the girls.

Maximus rushed over worried that Desi was all alone. He couldn't help but laugh as he was surprised to see Cassius sitting by her. He was a lot hotter than Desi let on. He definitely wasn’t your average senator either. You could tell he worked out regularly. His tunic barely concealing his muscular arms. Cassius had some of the most dreamy eyes and a smile that stopped Maximus right in his tracks. Maximus found himself flustered as he found the courage to address him.

"Senator Cassius! What are you doing here?" Maximus extended his hand noticeably shaky as he went to greet him.  Cassius shook his hand in return firmly, winking at Maximus as he pulled away.

Desi coughed as she noticed Maximus swoon over him looking him up and down. "Ut umm," Desi laughed as Cassius joined her. "We all have our secrets don’t we?" Desi said smiling at her friend who was still blushing.

Cassius stood and helped Desi to her feet. "I better get going and looks like the time has come for you to head back. I'd love to see you again though."

Desi turned to Maximus, and in unison they asked each other, “Same time next week?"

Maximus shook his head laughing, "Well, Obviously!" They couldn't stop smiling as they were like two little children playing off each other. They both had their reasons for wanting to return. He had his man and she had hers.

She hugged Cassius goodbye as he kissed her softly on her cheek before parting ways. Desi smacked Maximus on his arm as she realized his eyes locked on Cassius's back side as he walked away. "You're bad!" Desi laughed. Maximus looking guilty as ever. They left the market and decided to take the long way home. They couldn’t stop smiling, both blushing as they retold stories of what happened during their trip to the market.

@3pawandme Here’s 1 of 2 stories for  ya. hehehe Hope you like it. 

[catsdaydreams]

A courtesan of the people

Ugh. Marc Antony. I love him. Like desperately and truly. 

Marc x MC

Rating: TBD

Tag list: @a-whore-of-rome @boneandfur because I know y’all love him like I do<3

The start of a new series that I've been contemplating on for a while now.

Syphax had survived. Julia breathed a sigh of relief, she may not reciprocate his feelings for her but she definitely had a soft spot for him. She let her mind wander back to the games the memories that came crashing into her mind as she saw her father for the first time after eight long years. 

 “Sileas,” he’d call her Gaelic name, a name she’d long forgotten when she choose a roman one. Ironically choosing one so similar to Julius Caesar, so as never to forget her priority in this unwelcoming land that had become her home. “Go and fetch your brother from his hunt so that we can eat together.” He say with that knowing smile. She would go and fetch her brother from his true location, a local spot off in the woods where he and his lover could spend the day hiding. Her father would always tease Cigrex lightheartedly when she brought him home about how he must have just barely missed the hunt and how Cigrex was sure to catch them next time.

She had written them off as dead, decided that they were all dead. Yet here he was, the Chieftain of the Gaul, her father, in the roman pits where her friend and unrequited lover now sat awaiting. She cursed herself internally, she should have known better than to react to his presence. She had a knee jerk reaction when she’d seen him and it resulted in her having to inform her patron Cassius of her father. He’d mistaken her reaction for that of a romantic love instead of a familial one. 

Julia remembered the look on his face, how quickly and easily he had believed Xanthe’s lie. Xanthe was becoming a problem by trying to sabotage her patronage at any turn, but bold accusations were a new turn of events. Julia would have to find a way to deal with her soon. Cassius jealousy would likely be a problem as well, she frowned. He’d been too quick to believe, and also far too reactive to the possibility of Julia being involved with someone else. Real emotions were a double edged sword as a courtesan. On the one hand it made a patron easier to manipulate, love was a powerful tool. However it made people far to unpredictable, and Julia hoped that she could keep Cassius in check or she might end up in a situation she wasn’t sure she could handle.

These things seemed pale in comparison to the mess she had stumbled into with Marc Antony. She was caught off guard when Sabina had walked in, and he had noticed. He also seemed to know who she truly was, and that she wasn’t just any slave brought back from the Gaelic wars. He knew that she was the daughter of the chieftain, and she wasn’t sure how he intended to use this information. Marc Antony was a dangerous man, and she’d known from the start that he wouldn’t be enticed by wiles or charm. Antony was intelligent, and he responded far better to her honesty in most situations than she suspected he fare with her charms. The scene he’d caused at the popina confirmed what she’d already known.

Marc met Julia’s eyes in the crowded room filled with ale and the stench of men. “You are going to host them by my side.” He’d said about the games he’d just announced. Julia smiled pleasantly in response, playing every bit of the excited courtesan that she was supposed too. But it was an act, and she knew it, and looking into Marc’s eyes, he knew it too. 

Tonight had been a test, Marc wanted to see if she was worth his time. He wanted to see if she would play along with his games. And she had, and to Julia’s surprise she’d enjoyed it, despite his thinly veiled allusion to her past. They were on the same page, Julia and Marc, two sides of the same coin. Julia wasn’t sure if this was going to be heaven or hell, and she knew that it could very well go both ways. But despite her instincts, she wanted to find out.

“It’s not safe for a lady as beautiful as you to walk alone.” Marc said, chasing her out of her thoughts. Julia turned, smiling in surprise as she held her composure. “Marc Antony,” she said coyly, “I thought you wanted to finish your game of dice.” His teeth shone in the dark as he returned her smile. “I think I’d much prefer your company to a game of dice in a room filled with men.” He responded and she paused in her walk to let him catch up with her. The streets were empty, and smoke filled the air from nearby chimneys as people let their fires dwindle down in the brisk night.

“You are too kind to the daughter of a conquered chieftain. One conquered by your own hand no less.” She said sharply, but still with a lightness in her voice that let him know she harbored no ill feelings toward him. “I do believe Legate Aquila is responsible for that.” He chastised, the two of them coming to stop at an abandoned bench along the river. She met his gaze in the dark, “and who is responsible for Aquila?” Julia pushed. Perhaps she shouldn’t broach this topic with him, yet she felt a small amount of trust that spurred her on. Marc sprawled across the bench, “Julius Caesar.” He answered jovially and Julia rolled her eyes at him. 

“The better question is why did the daughter of a conquered chieftain become a courtesan for the elite of the country that crushed her own.” Julia smiled again, but this time bitterness tugged at her smile. “Perhaps she was never given the choice.” She responded letting her eyes drift lazily over the water. “Do you wish to be elsewhere?” He asked inquisitively, his eyes roaming her body, taking in every movement, every breath, measuring her reaction. “No.” She said cooly and Julia knew it was the truth. She’d long since let go of her love for her homeland, she missed for the simplicity of the old days, and the time she’d spend with her family, but she had no desire to return to them. 

She continued when Marc didn’t respond. “Life rewards the strong, and punishes the weak. Why mourn what has happened in the past, it wont change. Why hold love for a tribe that no longer exists? The other tribes left us to die, and were extinguished in exchange. There is balance in that. I see no reason to hold loyalty to people who never held loyalty for us. So I’ve embraced a new tribe, and I see no reason why I would lower myself to the standards of common men, because I am not a common woman.” She said proudly. Marc listened intently, recognizing the fire that laced in her voice. It was well hidden, but he could feel it. 

He’d known it from the moment he’d seen her at her debut. She’d refused to be conquered, instead using her misfortune to fuel her forward into a position of power. It was a stubborn resistance that he recognized and in turn shared. It was the reason he’d been been so loyal to Caesar. Caesar wanted to help the people, he wanted to change the system. While Antony cared little about the politics of what he was doing, he delighted in the idea of overthrowing the senate that’d always looked down on him due to his heritage. It was this goal that spurred him forward. The scene at the popina had been a test on his part, but it had also been an olive branch.

He was dangling Aquila in front of her on purpose. He wanted him to know that he knew how to cut him at his knees, and that he wanted to help her do it. Of course he didn’t know how far Julia intended to take things.