#swifties were really in the trenches back then

[baby-girl-aaron-dessner]

The Bolter is actually Taylor Swift’s alter ego during the 2016 Met Gala. It’s code for Bleachella because we all know that woman had at least 3 different men on rotation during this era and ended it with a town car speeding (aka a getaway car).

[whiteinshadesofgrey]

So far, to me -- having been in the trenches, this ~whatevership~ has absolutely nothing on Hiddlestunt. This has been almost all nuances and clickbait. She had 1 day of minimal interaction with him (so far). The whatevership is really clinical and mechanical? Hiddlestunt was messy. Her PR was a mess at the time and everything was very turbulent.

Hiddlestunt started off with the uncomfortable

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progressed to the shocking

and THEN came the tank top and Hiddelstunt World Tour. When did they even have time for the several pap walks with his family??? Can't remember! It was every 3 days another location, another awkward horrible staged PDA...

Tay was following him around all his sets like he was a good PR cleansing talisman, Famous debacle, the 'it seems like PR because of snake-kimye-recording-gate' articles were flying everywhere, Bleachella, Tom was apparently vying for a Bond role and was trying to show hetro-charm and dong a beautiful job bombing of it, Nils Sjöberg ManBabyTantrum whiplash, the grossest swiftie comments on the metgala dance videos, comedians at comedy central were going wild and couldn't remain civil, the 4th of July party sparkler video incident (iykyk, sorry Luke!) that made them go EVEN HARDER, LOKI references were coming at us fucking left right up and down (remember that Corvid Heron song????) and my FAVOURITE gem really capturing the feels at the time

I'm disappointed with the whatevership because it's happening in general, but no, it has so far had NOTHING on hiddelstunt.

This time the PR aspects are so big, so loud, so clear it's nearly impossible to not see it. The staging of the stunts is so transparent you have to TRY to not see it for what it is. That leaked notes sheet, the car with no plates on a blocked off street, the respectfully spaced walk down a hallway and bro-hang at an after party... That's not rocky beach make out session level at all...

If she's bringing back the old playbook we're gonna get emotionally damaging (for all parties) beach pics at some point -- and I can't wait. She does not disappoint on this front. Rubbing my hands together waiting to add the next installment to go with the collection. Tree, @tree-paine she was papped with his family. Family pap walk = hilarious beach photo. It's a rule!

if you want to be zen through this, remember that Tom has continued to be asked about the tank top that haunts him, like JJ and his phone call, JG that imaginary scarf. The tank top has been bested. This new guy is going to have friendship bracelets be his lasting emotional scaring material. This guy gets friendship bracelets.

Having not been around for the Tom era of PR beardies how does this current one rate in comparison to that ? I keep hearing that one was very apparently PR also so are the 2 comparable or?

I wasn’t around for that either, but I’ve been around long enough to have seen many references to it—I think it’s very comparable in stunting except with this one there’s clearly a brand deal component going on with the NFL that’s being made to look like a relationship. She did a pap walk on the beach with Tom and his Mom and a Game Cuddle Up with TKs mom

We also got this whole day which was really special in its awkward/obvious-ness and I’m sure we will get something similar if TK agrees to it. Maybe he will be wearing friendship bracelets that say I heart TS during the next game

[swanqueensalad]

taylor swift songs that are actually about swan queen: a comprehensive guide

hi no one asked for this but it wouldn’t stop haunting me until i wrote it down so here 

peace - ‘all these people think love’s for show but i would die for you in secret’ ??? ‘and you know that i’d swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches, give you my wild, give you a child, give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other, family that i chose’ ???  ‘the devil’s in the details but you’ve got a friend in me - would it be enough if i could never give you peace?’ it’s. about. them.

ivy - because ‘i’d live and die for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time’ and also ‘well god damn, my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand’ good LORD

the 1 - ‘but we were something, don’t you think so?’ ‘and if you wanted me you really should have showed, but it’s alright now’ ‘and if my wishes came true, it would have been you’ ‘the greatest films of our time were never made’ ouch

long live - i’m sad and nostalgic and sappy ok and ‘i had the time of my life fighting dragons with you’ 

mirrorball - regina mills is a mirrorball (think of cora ouch). actually so is emma swan trying to live up to being a hero. and ‘i’ll show you every version of yourself tonight’ indeed

the archer - hello it’s another song that’s somehow about both of them. but besides the obvious about them both separately ‘i’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches i almost said to you’  ‘dark side, i search for your dark side, but what if i’m alright right here?’ 

daylight - regina vibes for sure, emma is her daylight after all the awful things. ‘maybe i’ve stormed out of every single room in this town, threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it’s morning now, it’s brighter’ now. the last lil verse with gina in mind just slaughters me because she does just want to be defined by the things she loves now and not the things that haunt her 

illicit affairs - fun fact this song is actually about all gay relationships build on yearning. 

dress - i mean not really as much as some others but this is The secret yearning wlw song. so. that’s all. I DON’T WANT YOU LIKE A BEST FRIEND! ONLY BOUGHT THIS DRESS SO YOU COULD TAKE IT OFF! ‘all of the silence and patience, pining and anticipation, my hands are shaking from holding back from you’

the way i loved you - this is about h00k/r0bin vs emma/regina. enough said. this is actually also a song about comphet funnily enough

this love - maybe this one is a stretch but the whole theme of returning to the person you really love is very on brand for the two women who find each other in literally every fucking magical realm and curse they end up in and somehow come back together every time they’re torn apart. ‘

swan queen swiftie venn diagram middle girls where are you 

(also regina mills is 5000% big swiftie i dont make the rules just throwing that out there)

[ilooklikeaburntchickenugget]

False God

A/N: Inspired by False God, by Taylor Swift. Also I put in so many Taylor song references (I’m also a Swiftie, I had to), so you might find those. Hopefully. Pairing: Gerard Way (2007, EMA era) x F! Reader Warnings: Steamy, definitely steamy, no explicit smut though. And swearing. Word count: 1,542

(Here’s the song, if you haven’t heard it)

We were crazy to think Crazy to think that this could work Remember how I said I'd die for you? We were stupid to jump In the ocean separating us Remember how I'd fly to you?

“Gerard-” You moaned as he slammed your body onto the bed. The sheets engulfed you almost instantly as his lips continued to assault the various sweet spots on your neck, going up to behind you ears where his mouth would whisper the dirtiest things about his intentions with you.

“Yes, darling?” He asked, trailing down further and further, his hands keeping your hands tied above your head. He had gone to the right side of your neck, right above your shoulder and began placing soft kisses before attacking your weakness. You let out a loud moan and sigh, you could feel him lightly chuckle as he was in power.

“Right there, baby, right there.” “Anything for you sugar.”

And I can't talk to you when you're like this Staring out the window like I'm not your favorite town I'm New York City I still do it for you, babe

You were awoken to no one next to you, only your bare body and the scent of Gerard. “Gee?” You called out lightly, your eyes still adjusting to the sun which projected itself into the room and across the floor. You looked up to see him gazing out the window, fascinated by the bustling city below.

You got up, grabbing the nearest article of clothing which happened to be his dress shirt from the night before. The fabric fell on your mid-thigh and exposed some of the hickeys on your neck and chest. You walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his chest from behind and giving him a kiss on the head as he rubbed your arm. “You’re gorgeous.” He said, looking up at you.

“I could say the same for you.”

They all warned us about times like this They say the road gets hard and you get lost When you're led by blind faith Blind faith

“When are we finally going to open up, Gerard?” You asked him, your anger slowly rising within you.

“I don’t know, Y/N,” He fought back, “I was hoping to keep this between the two of us for a while.” “It’s been a while,” You replied, “Almost nine months.” He sighed, “No one knows, Gee, no one but us. Not even our parents. Not even our siblings.” He aggressively ran his hand through his messy raven hair.

“Because no one needs to know, Y/N/N,” He continued, “What we have is something really special. And I know that sounds cliche, but I’ve never felt this towards anyone.” “I get what you mean, I’ve never felt this either. But why can’t we show other people?”

“Because we just can’t.” “We just can’t?” You screeched, “Of course we can!”

“You need to calm down.” He said.

“I am calm!” You screamed. “Don’t raise your voice at me.” He warned, pointing his finger. “You’re going to regret it.” “Oh, how so?” You snapped, his eyes squinting slightly as his face turned to one of frustration and warning. “Watch me.” Within a few seconds your body was slammed against the wall, your hands pinned above you as his mouth attacked yours, his tongue entering yours and taking almost immediate dominance.

But we might just get away with it Religion's in your lips Even if it's a false god We'd still worship

Your relationship was under the radar for over a year. It was slightly making you lose your mind, you wanted to show off Gerard to everyone. But keeping this secret was fun, and you knew it only made both of you want to take more scandalous steps.

“Hey, babe.” You heard Gerard greet you as you got home, placing your trench coat on the coat rack and boots on the mat as you walked in from the stormy New York evening.

“Sorry I’m late,” You said walking over and giving him a kiss on the lips, “I was stuck in the studio.” “Understood.” He lightly smiled, continuing the painting he was working on in the spare room you had, which was an office/art space. His typical paint cardigan had a few new paint splatters you could tell.

“And what’re you so busy doing mister?” You asked playfully.

“Oh nothing.” He sighed, “It’ll be something soon, though, I promise.”

We might just get away with it The altar is my hips Even if it's a false god We'd still worship this love We'd still worship this love We'd still worship this love

Sitting down on the couch in your robe with a glass of red wine was how you spent the rare stormy nights in New York. The rain pattered on the floor to ceiling windows in your apartment, the lightning and thunder being seen and heard whenever striking. That of course didn’t stop you from watching whatever drama movies were on TV.

You felt Gerard give you a long kiss on the head, so you reached back and rubbed your fingers through his hair all while smiling. You couldn’t even notice your robe had come undone until you looked down to see his fingers pulling the strings which once tied the silk garment to you off all while kissing around your neck. “And what do you think you’re doing?” You asked.

“Trying to make you feel good.” He answered, continuing.

“Well,” You began, “Why don’t you make me feel good after you shower.” He sighed letting go.

“You know how to ruin a moment, sugar.” You lightly giggled. He took the wine glass out of your hand, drowning the rest rather quickly, before putting it back on the coffee table.

“While you’re up could you pour me another glass?” You asked, putting on your puppy dogs eyes. He sighed again.

“Of course, darling.” He replied, going to the kitchen instead of the bathroom first. He came back, a freshly poured glass in hand for you. “While I’m taking a shower, why don’t you check the art room.” He suggested and smirked, closing the bedroom door to go to the bathroom.

You lightly laughed at his mystery, getting up and wandering over to the corner room where you saw a sight that made you stop in your tracks. There sat a giant mural of your face, every feature prominent and perfect. You slowly approached it, admiring it for quite a bit of time.

It felt like a few minutes, but it became more when Gerard crept up behind you. “What do you think?” “It’s incredible.” You turned around to face him and smiled, “It’s done all too well to be honest, all my delicate features are there, everything.” You said.

“I’m glad you like it, I do too.” He responded.

“What are you going to name it?” You asked next.

“I don’t know.” He sighed, “But call it what you want.”

I know heaven's a thing I go there when you touch me, honey Hell is when I fight with you But we can patch it up good Make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness Got the wine for you

“For once just listen to me Gerard!” You yelled.

“Not when you’re being delusional, Y/N.” He fired right back, you two stood opposite of each other in the room, both pacing in your own corners.

“I’m not being fucking delusional!” You screamed, “You’re being a jackass!”

“Sometimes you’re so bitchy!” He replied.

“I’m what?” You asked, your voice going down, “Call me a bitch one more time.” You looked right into his eyes, his face now plastered with fear instead of anger. “You’re a dickhead, Gerard, and you clearly don’t know a damn thing about women.” You stormed off down the hall and to your room.

“Wait, Y/N, I-” He began following you, trying to grab your arm.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” You warned, tears filling your eyes, “Leave me the fuck alone.” You entered the master bedroom and slammed the door, marching over to the bed where you curled up and began crying.

You were so upset that he still didn’t want anyone to know about the two of you. You almost felt as if he was ashamed of you. Sure he was a rock singer and you were a pop singer, but you weren’t sure if that was enough to ruin his reputation, or even alter it in any way.

So you cried, for almost an hour, eventually hugging his pillow only to smell the familiar and comforting scent of your lover. “Y/N?” You heard him lightly knock, “Can I come in.” You sniffed and sat yourself up.

“Yeah.” You lightly said. There, walked in Gerard. His eyes were red, you could see he too has been crying.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” He said, “So sorry.” “I know,” You responded, “It’s alright.” He came over and sat next to you.

“I think we do need to let out family know, it’s been far too long. That way we can spend more time together, in public and such.” “Are you sure?” You asked, “I mean, only if you feel comfortable.” “Of course, darling.” He smiled, “I’m always comfortable when I’m with you.”

[awhiskeyriver]

PSST AMELIA (i have hit the level of comfort where i feel i can scream at you, oop) TELL ME UR BETTY THOUGHTS.... also me too, i really wanna write stories based of Taylor's songs all the time. there's a whole subset of tumblr ask game called like, taylor universes, where we personify songs and on God it's my favorite (i wish i had more swifties in my ranks or i'd host one)

LOL, you can always scream at me! Oh man, that sounds seriously so fun! I would love to personify one of her (or all of her, lol) songs and turn them into stories. She has such a vivid way of writing music it begs to be seen in story form, lol.

Okay so....you may regret asking me for my Folklore thoughts, LOL. This is long and it might make absolutely no sense to anyone other than me but I hope that’s not the case!

Obviously **I know this isn’t true and wasn’t Taylor’s point at all** I’m just a writer and things spin out of control in my head and...yeah...basically this is how I’ve managed to link (almost) all of the songs in Folklore together into one story line of James/Betty/August.

The story begins with in the song Betty, towards the end of Junior year, at the prom.

//I know where it all went wrong, your favorite song was playing from the far side of the gym. I was nowhere to be found, I hate the crowds, you know that. Plus, I saw you dance with him.//

I think James has anxiety of some sort [more to come on that later] and in my mind, Betty is more charismatic, maybe even casually popular not in the core group of popular girls but very well-liked and known around the school. Editor of the school paper, ran for student president, etc. Meanwhile James is more low-key, out of the limelight, and the idea of being in such a large crowd dancing gave him anxiety which is why he said no. Seeing her dancing with someone else (even innocently), made him feel worse about himself and his insecurities as well as a little mad at her for not standing with him, but choosing to go dance with friends [‘him’] instead. 

So, he left the dance early [walking home on broken cobblestones] when August sees him [when she pulled up like a figment of my worst intention. She said, James get in let’s drive. Those days turned into nights. Slept next to her but I dreamt of you all summer long.]

Personally, I think James only officially cheated on Betty once. The night of the dance with August. August is a more overtly popular; more obvious beauty that is noticed by many boys, maybe a cheerleader, etc. Many people think this popularity instantly equates with happiness, but she’s not happy, actually suffers from self esteem issues and the pressure to conform [Mirrorball: I can change everything about me to fit in]. But James doesn’t ‘oogle’ her or treat her the way typical guys she dates or fucks do, so she’s attracted to him. They kind of bring out this excitement in each other that Betty and the other guys in August’s life don’t. [Mirrorball: I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight. I’ll get you out on the floor- August can pull James out of his shell in ways that Betty can’t]. This is maybe a more “obvious” song link to make, but also how in Mirrorball it’s talked about “spinning in my highest heels love, shining just for you.” And in Cardigan, when Betty is describing August “high heels on cobblestones.” 

ANYWAYS. James feels mad guilty about what happened between August and him, swears her to secrecy, but the weight of the secret weighs on him. At the end of the year, he tells Betty he thinks they should take a break over the summer, so they do. August and James continue to talk, first through platforms like Instagram, commenting on a photo or story, then it turns into constant talking, to texting, to hanging out and inevitably having more sex. For James, it’s a vice of sorts. He feels guilty, he wants to forget that feeling meanwhile August is starting to develop Feelings™. [entire song of August, obviously, but lines like “you were never mine.// your back beneath the sun, wishing I could write my name on it. ] To her, James is also developing feelings for her and wants to be with her. [I remember thinking I had you. Wanting was enough, for me it was enough.] But as the summer starts to end, things become more squirrely between the two of them, and the feeling of being James’ side piece starts to sink in more, and the more she begins to lose him, the more desperate she is to hold onto him. [August: cancel plans just in case you call and say meet me behind the mall. Illicit Affairs: Leave the perfume on the shelf that you picked out just for him so you leave no trace behind, like you don’t even exist.// A drug that only worked the first few hundred times.// what started in beautiful rooms ends in meeting in parking lots.]

It comes to a head at the end of (the month of) August, as summer is ending and the new school year is approaching when James tells August he wants to get back together with Betty and what happened between them meant nothing to him. [Betty: Slept next to her but I dreamt of you all summer long.] August is rightfully hurt, embarrassed and angry [Illicit Affairs: Don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby look at this godforsaken mess that you made me. You showed me colors you know I can’t see with anyone else. Don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby look at this idiotic fool that you made me. You taught me a secret language I can’t speak with anyone else.// And you know damn well, for you I would ruin myself a million little times. Peace: All these people think love’s for show, but I would die for you in secret. Mirrorball: When I break it’s in a million pieces.]

So, senior year begins. Betty and James gets back together. August goes back to the way she was previous to her summer with James, but truly she is broken. Can’t even look at him. The guilt and stress of August is still eating at James, but he’s trying to forge ahead with Betty and the two of them grow stronger and closer throughout the first part of the school year. August’s friend, Inez, obviously notices her downfall, but August continues to allude to “the guy she met over the summer” without saying names. One drunken night, she slips and says James, and Inez being the gossip she is is like w h a t. [Peace: Your integrity makes me seem small.// I talk with shit with my friends, it’s like I’m wasting your honor.// And you know that I’d swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches. Give you my wild, give you a child.// Give you my sunshine, give you my best. But the rain is always gonna come if you’re standing with me.] August forgets about the conversation [she was drunk], but Inez doesn’t and can’t help herself but go to Betty and tell the rumor she heard about James fucking August. Betty, being a newspaper editor, doesn’t believe her without gathering up facts. But as she’s piecing things together, Inez’s story begins to make sense. She confronts James about it, who reluctantly admits to everything.

Betty, of course is devastated and heartbroken. The boy she trusted the most, her first love, wasn’t at all who she thought he was. [Cardigan: you drew stars around my scars, but now I’m bleeding.] And the fact that he didn’t just come clean and tell her after the first time, but continued to cover it up (and keep seeing August) is unforgivable. [Cardigan: tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy--Betty is ready to grow up, think about college, think about life, meanwhile James is clinging to the excuse that he is ‘only seventeen’ [(Betty) Would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing?], refusing to grow up and own his mistakes. 

Betty breaks things off with James. James hates August thinking she did it on purpose. Betty hates them both. August kind of does too.

[August- Mad Woman: Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy and when you say I get angry, I get more angry.]

[Betty- Cardigan: A friend to all is a friend to none, chase two girls lose the one.//When you are young they assume you know nothing.] 

After months of being broken up, James is still not over Betty and tries one last time to win her back at her graduation party before she leaves for college. [Betty, I’m here on your doorstep and I planned it out for weeks now but it’s finally sinking in. Betty right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when I see your face again. The only thing I want to do is make it up to you. So I showed up at your party]. The end of the song, where he’s talking about kissing in her car again, etc is him building their makeup up in his mind, psyching himself up for confronting her because he thinks it will all pay off.

Betty is shocked to see him, as is everyone else at the party, they’d become something of a spectacle, she brings him outside in the garden to talk in privacy without everyone interjecting or staring. Jame’s apology comes in ‘This is me trying’ where he’s trying to explain his actions more logically than placing blame on everyone and everything else, from Betty. [I don’t quite know what to say, but I’m here in your doorway. // They told me all of my cages were mental (the fact that he has anxiety, etc) so I got wasted like all my potential//pouring my heart out to a stranger, but I didn’t pour the whiskey (his and August’s first encounter/cheating incident after Prom). But “this is him trying, at least he’s trying...it’s hard to be at a party when [he] feels like an open wound” and quite honestly, “it’s hard [for him] to be anything these days when all [he] wants is [Betty]. It’s a great apology, he wears his heart on his sleeve, but Betty doesn’t want to fix things between him, she wants to move on. It was too difficult for her to get over him once, she can’t open herself up to trusting him again. [Cardigan: I knew you’d linger like a tattooed kiss, I knew you’d haunt all of my what ifs.// I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired, and you’d be standing in my front porch light.] 

Betty leaves for college.

A few years away in college has caused some healing for Betty and some insight into life outside of her small town and high school boyfriend [The One: If you never bleed you’re never going to grow, but it’s alright now]. But when she’s talking with her mom and something comes up about James, thoughts and feeling she hasn’t felt in years come racing back. She can’t help but wonder how things might’ve turned out if things didn’t end how they did because as much as she hates to admit it, she’ll always love James in some way. [We were something, don’t you think so?// if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you.// it would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one.// I persist and resist the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different (if he hadn’t slept with August) would everything be different today?.// You know the greatest films of all time were never made.] [My Tears Ricochet: And I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want just not home. And you can aim for my heart, go for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones.] 

***Now, things get a little more dicey here not as tight, lol but bear with me***

Betty comes home after graduation from college and runs into James. They’re cordial and nice and when James asks if they can get dinner and catch up, Betty agrees. They have a good evening, reconnect a little, but when they go riding and drive to some familiar places from their childhood, past hard conversations re-arise. It brings a lot of unwelcomed emotions back up in Betty, and she realizes it’s harder than she thought it would be to forgive James. [The One: the greatest films of all time were never made. Exile: I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending.] Meanwhile, James just wants to forgive and forget the past, after all, they were kids, only seventeen. His hurt comes from the fact that after he tried to patch things up after graduation, not only did Betty dismiss him and leave, but she never reached out or spoke to him again. [Exile: It took you five whole minutes to pack us up and leave me with it. Holding all this love out here in the hall.] He came to the front porch/door to try and fix things with her, and she “left out the side door.” 

Betty [My Tears Ricochet: Even on my worst day, did I deserve babe, all the hell you gave me? Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you, til my dying day. // And I still talk to you (while I’m screaming at the sky) and when you can’t sleep at night (you hear my stolen lullabies)// Hoax: My twisted knife, my sleepless night, my winless fight this has frozen my ground.] 

Hoax is where things come to a head with Betty and James. [Stood on the cliffside screaming, “Give me a reason. Your faithless love’s the only hoax I believe in. // You knew it still hurts underneath my scars, from when they pulled me apart. But what you did was just dark.]

Mad Woman continues as August finds out that Betty and James get back together, and cannot get over it. She never got over James either. Only her sadness turns to anger. [Now I breathe flames each time I talk. // They say “move on” but you know I won’t.// It’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together.] 

Invisible String comes when Betty and James are in a stable, happy place in their relationship again. Possibly engaged for marriage. [Time, mystical time, cutting me open then healing me fine.// Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire. Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons. One single thread of gold tied me to you.// Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven.]

And, I like to think that August did eventually move on and found someone who appreciates her and truly loves her, isn’t just using her for revenge, or because she’s hot, or because they’re trying to forget their own problems. But someone who actually values her for herself. (Invisible String: Cold was the steel of my axe to grind for the boys who broke my heart. Now I send their babies presents.)

AGAIN, this is obviously just my own theory/fun. Not meant to be taken seriously. Hope you enjoyed!

[ddearddigitalddiary]

folklore: Stoned Favorites

It’s been just about 48 hours since Queen Taylor surprised us with TS8 entitled folklore. This album was born out of quarantine and is becoming her highest critically acclaimed album yet. She’s fucking amazing, magical, powerful, etc. I’ve had a few listen throughs to digest it, but I’m still processing all of its beauty. It has quickly become a favorite. Taylor somehow has this power where she drops an album that is lined up perfectly to the events I’m going through in my personal life. Maybe I’m just finding how it relates to me and seeing myself in the album, but that’s the beauty of it anyways. Going through a tough breakup, living through a global pandemic, society is literally never going back to something we knew... It’s all a bit much. And Ms. Swizzle has put words to my deepest feelings, and as always helped me feel and heal. 

Here are my favorite parts of the beautiful, whimsical, mystical album that is folklore:

the 1: (this one hurts a little much for me right now...) we never painted by the numbers baby, but we were making it count, you know the greatest loves of all time are over now / in my defense i have none for never leaving well enough alone, but it would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one

cardigan: (first of the love triangle, Taylor freaking Swift. this entire song is so beautiful. one of my faves and i cried the first time i heard it) i knew you stepping on the last train, marked me like a bloodstain I,  I knew you tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy I, I knew you leaving like a father, running like water I, and when you are young they assume you know nothing, but I’d knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss, I knew you’d haunt all of my what if’s, the smell of smoke would hang around this long, cause I knew everything when I was young

the last great american dynasty: (a sweet little bop. i love this one. Taylor’s voice is so pretty. this guitar is *chefs kiss*) she had a marvelous time ruining everything / [the entire bridge!!!!] there goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen, i had a marvelous time ruining everything

exile: (again, this one hurts right now. a bit relevant.) you’re not my homeland anymore, so what am i defending now? / (pretty much Taylor’s whole verse because freaking ouch - it’s describing my heart space right now) i think i’ve seen this film before, so I’m leaving out the side door / cause you never gave a warning sign - i gave sooo many signs

my tears ricochet: (hearing this song with the framing of it being about B*g M*****e is so sad, heartbreaking, powerful) cause i loved you, i swear i loved you, til my dying day, i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace (and then really the whole entire rest of the song.) /  WHEN I’M SCREAMING AT THE SKYYY... YOU HEAR MY STOLEN LULLABIIIIES

mirrorball: (this one feels like 80′s prom or something, i’m in love) *hushh*  when no one is around my dear, you’ll find me on my tallest tip toes, spinning in my highest heels love, shining just for youuu

seven: (this one makes me feel like i’m in a grassy meadow, while of course swinging on a tree, with a light summer breeze) sweet tea in the summer, cross your heart won’t tell no other / love you to the moon and to saturn / (STRINGS) 

august: (another love triangle song, and it’s my favorite of the moment i think... i think. it also hurts a little bit because of my love life heart space ): ) i remember thinking i had you, but i can see us lost in the memory, august slipped away into a moment in time, cause he was never mine, and i can see us twisted in bed sheets, august sipped away like a bottle of wine, cause you were never mine / (and the fact that there’s beautiful flutes noticeable to me and beautiful saxophone is just super convenient for my feelings as well. also, beautiful fade out, *chefs kiss*)

this is me trying: (this beat going into the song goes hard. guess what - song again hits me like a truck. it’s like what i would want him to say to me. i picture it’s fairly similar to what he’s going through. who knows.) so i got wasted like all my potential, and my words shoot to kill when i’m mad, i have a lot of regrets about that 

illicit affairs: (these guitars are like hugging my ears) take the words for what they are, a dwindling mercurial high, a drug that only worked the first few hundred times (that line in particular hits) / don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby, look at this idiotic fool that you made me, you taught me a secret language i can’t speak with anyone else, and you know damn well for you i would ruin myself a million little times

invisible string: (again, guitars hugging the ears :). and of course, this song gives me hope for whatever, whoever could be out there for me. her runs are angelic) bad was the blood of the song in the cab on your first trip to la / time, mystical time, cutting me open then healing me fine~ / one single thread of gold tied me to you / hell was the journey but it brought me heaven / give me the blues and the purple pink skies, baby it’s cooool with meeeee! (so many Lover references in these lines! I’m in love!)

mad woman: (i’m in love with this song as well. like another version of the Man, aka don’t fuck with me. i’m in love with the entire chorus and her voice and the piano) what do you sing on your drive home, do you see my face in the neighbor’s lawn, does she smile or does she mouth fuck you forever / no one likes a mad woman, you made her like that... / women like hunting witches too, doing your dirtiest work for you

epiphany: (the production of this song is so angelic and peaceful yet the lyrics are haunting and i get sad every time i listen to it. the parallel between the war and the pandemic is rough and sad. this song is a different kind of hurt) hold your hand through plastic now, doc i think she’s crashing out, and some things you can’t speak about *and then the moment of silence with horns*...

betty: (the last of the triangle. this is the one that is so beautiful and heartbreaking and hopeful? maybe not hopeful it’s more the nostalgia factor of it all for me that just because of the breakup stage i’m in right now is what makes it heartbreaking... one day it will be more beautiful and i can smile to it with a longing and gratuitous embrace... also a bop, ALSO reminds me of country Taylor and it’s so *hugs my heart and teen me*) but if i just showed up at your party, would you have me would you want me? would you tell me to go fuck myself or lead me to the garden / i don’t know anything but i know i miss you / the only thing i wanna do is make it up to you / (KEY CHANGE !!!) / kissing in my car again, stopped at a streetlight you know i miss you

peace: (another favorite!!!! and apparently the first take she did of this song IS THE ONE THAT’S ON THE ALBUM. artist.) the devils in the details, but you got a friend in me, would it be enough if i could never give you peace, your integrity makes me seem small, you paint dreamscapes on the wall, i talk shit with my friends, it’s like i’m wasting your honor *piannooooo* / and you know that i’d swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches, give you my wild, give you a child... 

hoax: (a hauntingly beautiful one, a favorite, love that it’s the closer. it HURTS me right now but i’ll take it. it’s a beautiful song and it’s helping the heal. can’t wait to hear the lakes on the deluxe! - also i just so happen to be re-reading the twilight series right now and it’s the exact vibes i get from this song - the level of love, the cliff sides, the sleepless nights, the piano, eclipsed sun) stood on the cliff side screaming give me a reason, your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in.... don’t want no other shade of blue but you, no other sadness in the world would do. 

Taylor announced it and I woke up to the news. I spent the whole day obsessed with the thought of the album and the fact that she literally surprise dropped and shook the whole swiftie kingdom as well as it’s surrounding communities. I had no idea what to expect with it but I said it would be my new favorite Taylor album, i just had a feeling. And I think that this album proved that statement was true. This side of Taylor is the storytelling side I absolutely fell in love with. Her power and creativity and pen are just top tier and she’s the freaking artist of my lifetime. This album will be helping me heal, just as rep did, just as 1989 did, just as Speak Now, Fearless did. I love you Taylor. Thank you for the beauty that is folklore.

[kayliemusing]

Survey 6

Put your music player of choice on shuffle and list the first 10 songs - Betty by Taylor Swift - Broken by Lovelytheband - Make Me (Cry) by Noah Cyrus - One More Weekend by Against The Current - When We Were Young by Adele - Honestly by Gabbie Hanna - Carousel by Melanie Martinez -Brokenhearted by Karmin - Ashes by Celine Dion - Lover by Taylor Swift

If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Would you take anyone with you? - I’d love to go to NYC, because it’s a place I’ve always wanted to go and it seems so inspiring and lively there. I’d take my mom and sister with me.

What is your preferred writing implement? (eg. Blue pen, pencil, green pen) - Blue or black pen, and I like for my ink to feel super flowy and smooth.

Favourite month and why? - I love December because of Christmas time but I also really like May because the sun feels so much brighter and it’s starting to warm up.

Do you have connections to any celebrities (even minor)? List them. - When I was a kid, my dad’s cousin knew Michael J Fox.

Name 3 items you could pick up from where you are. - My phone, my notebook, and my headphones.

What brand logo is closest to you currently? - Asus (the computer I’m currently using. Don’t know about a “logo” tho. Just a brand name.)

Do you ever play board games or other non-computer games? Got any favourites? - YES. I’m obsessed with matching games on my phone. Right now I love My Home, Property Brothers, and Design Matters. I love them because they make me not think and then when you win levels you get to decorate your home which I find totally fun.

A musical artist you love that isn’t well known - Of Monsters and Men. I think they’re a little known, but not overly. One of my fav bands of all time.

A musical artist you love that is well known - Taylor Alison Swift

What is your desktop background currently? - A portrait of trees in the mist

Last person you talked to, and through what you talked to them - My mom and we talked in person.

First colour name you can think of that isn’t in the rainbow - White

What timekeeping devices are in the room you are currently in? - My phone, computer I’m currently using, and my switch.

What kind of headphones do you use? - The apple ones that came with my phone.

What musical artists have you seen perform live? - Lmao the Jonas Brothers when I was 10 and Marianas Trench when I was 15. 

Does virginity matter to you? - Yes, but I don’t care what others choose to do. 

What gaming consoles do you or your family own? - Switch, WiiU and PS4

What pets do you have? What are their names? - 2 Siamese cats, Archer and Misty.

What’s the best job you’ve ever had? - Sephora as a cashier, which I’m currently at. Obviously it’s not a dreamboat but they’ve treated me the best and I’m not totally miserable there.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? - Chapters. I feel like it had potential to be a good job, but I was in a really bad place so I feel like I didn’t perform to the best of my ability, but in saying that, they also lacked community there. I could go in and out of that store during my shift and no one would say hi or bye to me. I didn’t have any work friends, and I found management not that nice. Whereas at my job now, it has its flaws but I do feel like we’re kind of a family which I never would have expected because of my experience at chapters.

What magazines do you read, if any? - I don’t read magazines unless it’s an article about Taylor Swift because I love her lol

Inspiration behind your URL? - I have three blogs, so the inspiration for this one was just to the point; I do surveys. My main blog @autumnsletters was inspired because I love words and love letters and autumn so I just threw them together and then my Taylor Swift inspired blog where I geek out about Taylor was inspired by a lyric from a song called I Think He Knows. (@sixteenavenue)

Inspiration behind your blog title? - For this blog, it’s a spin on a Taylor Swift song called All You Had To Do Was Stay where I just inserted the word survey, not that smart lmao. On my main blog my title is “Give you my wild” which is from a song called Peace from Taylor, and then on my Taylor blog, it’s “You’re not my homeland anymore” which is from her song Exile. So I’m very Swiftian.

Favourite item of clothing? - My turtle neck sweater from Dynamite. (I bought three just in diff colours but my favourite is the red one.)

Are you friends with any exes? - I don’t have exes, but I always find it kinda weird when people are friends w their exes because I feel like you can’t come back to friendship once you’ve crossed the line but what do I know.

Name at least one book you loved as a child. - I’ll Love You Forever by Robert Munsch. (I think that’s the title but I’m not totally sure.)

What’s your native language? If that language has distinct regional variations, which variation? (eg. AU English, US English) - US English

What email service do you use? - Gmail

Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in? - I’m in the family room so there’s a few things. Some canvas’s of random patterns, shelves, a nyc painting, and then a big rustic canvas of a bible scripture.

What’s your favourite number, and why? - 22, because of Taylor has a song called 22 (surprise surprise) and it’s also doubles and an even number which I like.

Earliest moment in your life you can remember? - I always have this random, very faint memory of being in this double stroller with my sister when I was probably 2 or 3 and she was in the seat in front of me and I was in the back and my parents were behind me talking and it was sunny outside.

What did you have for dinner yesterday? - Chinese!

How often do you brush your teeth? - Morning and night. Sometimes I escape to bed before brushing my teeth if i’m super tired but definitely every morning.

What’s your favourite candy/chocolate? - Maltesers

Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? Do you have any other blogs currently? - Yes, I talked about them just a few questions ago. I have this one, my main, and my Taylor inspired one lol. My main blog has gone through a series of phases throughout the years lol.

If you were suddenly really hungry, what would you choose to eat? - I like to go for easy to grab food. So bagels, muffins, cereal. Something super quick.

What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of? - Swiftie and A Court of Thorns and Roses fandom

If you could study anything, what would it be? - English and Communications, but I’ve always stayed away even though I’ve wanted to study those because I’m terrified of public speaking and I also feel like I’m not quite smart enough. Sad but true.

Do you use anything on your lips? (eg. Chapstick, gloss, balm, lipstick) - I like wearing Fresh watermelon lip balm when I’m not wearing makeup or I have my mask on. Generally when I have a full face of makeup on, I gravitate to lipsticks or lipstains.

How would you describe your sense of humour? - Dry/self deprecating and sarcastic.

What things annoy you more than anything else? - Kanye

What kind of position are you in at the moment? - I am sitting on my couch with my legs stretched out in front of me and resting on the coffee table.

Do you wear much jewellery? - I never wear jewelry but I’d like to start wearing necklaces and getting my ears pierced so I could wear earrings again. 

Who is the leader of your country, currently? Any other levels of government with leaders? (State, region, province, county, district, municipality, etc) - Trudeau

Last 3 blogs on your dashboard, not including any of your own - I won’t name them, but one was a Taylor related blog, one was a writing blog, and another was a literature blog.

What do you carry your money in? - My wallet/debit card

Do you enjoy driving? Why or why not? - I don’t mind driving, but I’m obsessed with other people being angry at me for some reason so sometimes driving is stressful if I make a mistake or when people are behind me, I’m constantly checking my rear view mirror so they won’t think I’m bad at driving. It’s dumb, I know.

Longest drive you have ever been on? - When I was a kid and we drove to BC and stopped at literally every freaking town on the way there.

Furthest away from home you have ever been? - Victoria BC

How many times have you moved house? - Once and I was like four lol

What is on the floor of the room you’re currently in, not including furniture? - A blanket, suitcase that needs to be put away, some cords from the lamps, and a random canvas that hasn’t been hung up yet.

How many devices do you own which can access the internet? - Four,  I think.

Is there is anything that is guaranteed to always make you happy? - Feeling creative and Taylor Swift music. Money, too lmao

Is there anything that always makes you sad? - Books where the two people pining for each other don’t get/stay together, getting super existential, seeing homeless people on the street, thinking about my dad who passed away.

What programs do you currently have open? - Tumblr and Word, because I’m avoiding writing because I don’t know what to say.

What do you associate the colour red with? - Taylor Swift lol. But also Christmas and passion.

Last strong smell you can remember smelling? - My garlic knots coming out of the oven <3

Last healthy thing you ate? - One (1) apple slice lmao

Do you drink tea or coffee, and how much per day? - Neither, both are gross.

What do you associate the colour blue with? - Sadness or gloom, usually. 

How long is the closest ruler you can find? - I don’t think we have a ruler and if we do, it’s in a drawer upstairs somewhere and I don’t feel like digging for it.

What colour pants/skirt/etc are you currently wearing? - White sweats.

When was the last time you drank water? - Probably yesterday yikes. 

How often do you clear your browser history? - Never.

Do you believe nude photos can be artistic, rather than erotic? - I guess it could be interpreted that way, but nude photos just kinda annoy me.

Ever written fanfiction for anything? - Yes and I’m not telling you for what.

Last formal event you attended - Oh, I don’t even know. It’s been YEARS. Probably my cousin’s wedding way back when in 2014.

If you had to move your birthday to another date, which one would you choose and why? - December 13 so I could have matching birthdays with Taylor Swift 

Would you prefer to be at a beach or in the countryside? - Countryside. I hate the beach. The idea is nice, but I hate feeling hot and then I’m surrounded by people with nice bodies and I’ll just start to hate myself, and I never feel like I can wear the summer clothes I want to so it just makes me spiral.

Roughly how many people live in your town? - I have no clue. Thousands maybe.

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? - Yes. A girl I went to school with and also Jensen Ackles and Justin Bieber 

Favourite place to shop? Can be a certain store or a place where there are multiple stores - Dynamite and Colourpop.

Do you have a smartphone? What kind? If you don’t, do you want one? - I have an iPhone 11 Pro.

What is your least favourite colour, and why? - Navy blue, because it’s ugly.

How do you spell grey/gray? - G R E Y

Go to your dashboard and describe the image shown in the radar section (below the “Find blogs” link) - N/A

What difference is there between how many followers you have, and the number of blogs you follow? - I have 1,374 followers and I follow 1,969 blogs.

How many posts do you have? - Good lord. Too many.

How many posts have you liked? - Not sure.

Do you post mainly reblogs, or your own content? - Mostly reblogs and occassionally I share my writing but I do this thing where I share my writing and I get 2 notes and then I start re reading my writing over and over until I hate it and delete it and fall down this spiral of shame.

Do you track any tags? - no

What time is it currently? - 6:17 pm

Is there anything you should be doing right now? - I’m supposed to be writing because I’m trying to turn it into a routine so I can be more successful with it, but I’m avoiding it because I get so overwhelmed with how little I’m writing/what I’m writing/not knowing what to say, etc.

[madamemilkandhoneysuckle]

 1. how tall are you?:  5′5 2. what color and style is your hair?: natural chestnut brown and waist-length with long layers 

3. what color are your eyes?: Straight up blue 4. do you wear glasses?: Nope, 20/20 5. do you have braces?: When I was 15-16 6. what’s your fashion style?: Vintage sundresses, sheer cardigans, oversized sweaters, skinny jeans with my favorite brown lace up boots, white t-shirts and high waist jeans with my favorite grey canvas sneakers

7. full name?: Leigh 8. when were you born: March 1st 9. how old are you?: young at heart 10. where are you from/where do you live now?: New England. I’m an east coast girl, for sure. 11. do you have siblings?: One younger brother and one younger sister 12. what school do you go to?: Ole Miss 13. what kind of student are you?: Passionate when I like a subject, but driven, self-punishing when I am struggling, I work really hard when I am failing something, getting tutored, staying after for extra work, making a nuisance of myself with the teacher. Sometimes this has paid off and other times, it didn’t matter at all to the teacher. Any math ever since I was 12 and chemistry... I’m looking at you.... 14. do you like school?: I loved school when I got to college and got to take subjects I was interested in.  15. what are your favorite school subjects?: English, history, and philosophy. I also really liked astronomy and biology (even though I hated all other sciences) 16. what are your favorite TV shows?: Peaky Blinders, Mad Men, and Vikings. I used to be a ‘Game of Thrones’ fan, but the last two seasons were SO disappointing, except for Sansa’s story-line, that I lost interest. I also love miniseries's; Our World War, Band of Brothers, The Pacific, AMC’s The Terror, War and Peace (2016)   17. what are your favorite movies?: Roman Holiday, The Philadelphia Story, Gilda, It Happened One Night, To Catch A Thief, Vertigo, It’s a Wonderful Life, Love In the Afternoon, Rebecca, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, The Thin Man, Since You Went Away, Meet John Doe, Now Voyager, Bringing Up Baby, Doctor Zhivago, Notorious, Casablanca, Carmen Jones 

18. what are your favorite books?: Jane Eyre, Lord of the Rings, Madam Bovary, Anna Karenina, Their Eyes Were Watching God, House of Spirits, Love in the Time of Cholera, Lady Chatterley's Lover, Wuthering Heights, The Kitchen God’s Wife, House of Seven Gables, Rebecca, Rose Daughter, Dune, anything by Juliet Marillier or Patricia A. McKillip  19. what are your favorite pastimes?: Writing, reading, singing, guitar, running, baking, cooking, listening to music, watching movies 20. any regrets?: Meh, not really. Other than accidentally waving to people when I thought they were waving to me, but they were actually waving to the person behind me.

21. would you get married and where?: I am married and I got married in my hometown 22. what’s your dream job?: published author   23. do you want kids at some point?: I have a daughter. Her name is Penelope. I would like one more. 24. are you a girly girl, regular girl, or tomboy?: I have moments of all three, regular is an odd term though. I think regular is relative to the individual. 25. do like shopping?: Ugh, only if it’s for books. I love clothes, but I hate shopping for them. And I just want to get in and out of the grocery store, even though I like to cook.    26. what’s your scariest nightmare?: I had a really bad one when I was like nine where the Jolly Green Giant dressed up as Superman ate my house. I have no idea where that came from and it freaked me the f out. 28. do you have a significant other?: Yes 29. do you believe in miracles?: Yes, but I think they are more rare than people claim.

Music [Put your music on shuffle and write down the next thirty songs]: Renegades by X Ambassadors The Man by The Killers When You were Young by The Killers (i will always LOVE this one) Radioactive by Imagine Dragons Ride by Twenty One Pilots Africa cover by Weezer (effing amazing cover, don’t care if that’s basic) The Middle by Jimmy Eat World (hello junior high, this was the only good thing about you) Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen Never Really Over by Katy Perry (keeping bubble gum pop alive like a boss) More Than a Feeling by Boston Sultans of Swing by Dire Straits Hey You by Pink Floyd Sucker by The Jonas Brothers (yes, it’s a bop, so sue me) Hotel California by The Eagles I Won’t Back Down by Tom Petty You Are in Love by Taylor Swift (diehard Swiftie) Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks (YASSSS QUEEN) Here With Me by Marshmello and Chvrches Harry’s Game by Celtic Woman Lyin’ Eyes by The Eagles We Will Rock You by Queen Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin (YASSS QUEEN) She Wolf by Shakira Start Me Up by The Rolling Stones Bubblegum Bitch by Marina and the Diamonds Chlorine by Twenty One Pilots (’Trench’ is one of the best albums I’ve ever heard) The Chain by Fleetwood Mac Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC Primadonna by Marina and the Diamonds

[azkabcn-archive]

The Story of Us, a Viclock fanfiction for Valentine’s Day

My and Victor’s story ended as a tragedy.

Which is a shame since I really thought he was ‘the one’.

But then again, we were young and about to go our separate ways: uni was going to end six months into our relationship, and we had been officially labelled as an ‘item’ only two months prior.

I think it was just us parting ways that made things fizzle out into nothing. We tried long distance, but we quickly discovered weren’t cut out for that sort of life. We were too busy to sit and talk over the phone, or even send a text. I had spent the years after uni with my main phone mostly switched off, trying to get my Master’s in Criminology with little to no distractions.

Maybe it was my fault as much as Victor’s for our relationship coming to an abrupt end.

Actually, now that I think about it, we had never actually ended the relationship. We didn’t talk to each other and say ‘I think we’re not working, maybe it’d be best to end things.’ All we did was… stop talking. So technically we’ve been in a relationship for nine years.

Nine years.

It’s been nine whole years without Victor by my side, there to support me whenever I need him to. Nine whole years without Victor showing me that he cared

And I’m thinking about all of this on Valentine’s Day. Fantastic. Way to go, Sherlock. Making yourself feel lonely as hell on the day that’s meant to be filled with love.

At least I can celebrate with Mrs Hudson as her technical son (My life is just filled with technicalities.) and the familial love I share with her. At least I’m not completely alone.

I sit in my chair, a glass of wine clutched in my hand, my phone sat face up on the desk next to me. I will it to ping so it’ll take me away from this living hell, away from missing Victor, away from wishing I wasn’t so alone.

Even a text from Greg telling me he’d found a case that’s rated a one will be welcome at this point.

I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here for. I empty and refill my glass over and over for hours on end.

It’s only when Mrs Hudson comes into the living room and sees the half empty bottle and whisks it away that I finally set the glass down. I lay my head in my hands, the alcohol starting to kick in only half a notch. With my experience on drugs, it’s going to take more than three quarters of a bottle of wine to get me slightly tipsy.

That’s when it happens.

My phone rings and I jump because I don’t expect it to. Greg would have texted if he needed me.

The screen flashes: Unknown Number.

But it’s not ‘unknown’. Unsaved, yes. But I know this number all too well.

Victor.

Before I can think about what I’m doing, before I can weigh up the pros and cons, I answer the call.

Victor?’ I answer breathlessly.

I can almost see the smile plastered on his face. ‘Sherry?’ His voice breaks on the second syllable.

My heart bursts with affection at the old pet name, with elation, with guilt, and I’m sure that if I wasn’t sitting down, I’d have sunk to my knees.

‘Oh Vic! You called!’ I exclaim.

‘Yeah. I did. You answered,’ he shoots back ruefully.

‘Yeah. I did.’ I try to get my muscles to relax, but it doesn’t happen. ‘I’m so sorry, Vic,’ I whisper. ‘I didn’t want it to end so suddenly.’

He laughs slightly. ‘Hey, don’t worry ‘bout it. It was my fault as much as it was yours, Sherry, lo—’ He pauses. ‘Sherry.’

I smile sadly. I don’t realise how much I’ve missed his terms of endearment until he stops himself from using one.

‘I guess so,’ I shrug. ‘Hey, are you going to be in London anytime soon?’

He chuckles. ‘I’m in London now. I’m sitting outside Speedy’s Café right this second.’

‘I wish I could—wait. Did you say Speedy’s Café?’

‘Yeah,’ he clarifies. ‘On Baker Street. You know it?’

My heart starts racing. ‘I can do better than knowing it. I live on the same damn street. I’ll meet you there in five.’ I tell him as I stand quickly, the blood rushing to my head and almost tipping me over.

I hear him giggle. ‘Oh okay. Well then it’s a date.’

And then he’s cut the call.

I run into my room and fling open my wardrobe, swapping my everyday suit jacket and waistcoat and for ones I wear at the minimal number of occasions I’m invited to once in a blue moon. I glance at the mirror, running a hand through my hair, trying to get it to look at least somewhat presentable. I curse myself for not bothering to shave this morning, though Victor’s voice rings in my ear: I like the scruff. It suits you.

With a newfound smile, I swing on my Belstaff. I forgo my gloves and stuff my phone into my trouser pocket.

I stop a second to take a deep breath, doing my best to calm my shaking nerves. I take one last look in the mirror and leave the flat.

I run down the stairs, yelling, ‘Mrs Hudson! I’m going out!’ I don’t wait for her reply before slamming the door shut.

I pause outside the doorway, readying myself for what’s to come.

‘Sherlock!’ I hear a familiar voice call.

I turn to my left and my mouth hangs open.

Victor’s standing by a table in his long, brown trench coat. The sun casts its light onto his blond hair, giving it a sort of silvery hue. His smile outshines the sun itself.

I smile brightly as I walk to him. He meets me halfway and we stand there, unmoving, not speaking. The silence between us is deafening, unlike any other silence I’ve ever heard, even though there’s the chatter of the other customers and passers by.

All our memories flash across my eyes and I wonder if our parting had the same ‘it’s killing me’ effect on him as it did me.

And then his arms are around my shoulders as he buries his face in my the crook of my neck. Suddenly we’re both crying, crying tears of joy at seeing each other after such a long time, tears of anguish at the thought of all our wasted time.

‘Oh Sherry, I’ve missed you so much!’ he mutters between tears.

I sniff. ‘I’ve missed you too, Vic. I’ve missed you more. I’m so sorry. So, so, so sorry.’

Victor pulls back slightly, resting his hands on my shoulders. ‘It’s not just your fault, Sherlock. I played a part in this too. A relationship needs two to work – or to be fucked up in fact.’ He grins.

‘Maybe,’ is the reply that I give him.

In all honesty, I’d blamed Victor for this for such a long time that it was hard to share the blame now that I’d taken full responsibility for it.

‘Listen, let me buy you a coffee and we’ll go for a walk and talk, yes?’ he asks, his hand trailing and stopping at my upper arm.

If he’s willing to jump straight to the intimate physical contact then maybe he’ll be willing to try out our relationship again?

‘Okay. Thank you.’

He smiles, giving my arm a light squeeze and then turns to the direction of the café.

‘I tried calling you once I got settled at my new flat but you never answered,’ Victor tells me forlornly.

We’ve relocated to the park and are now sitting at the bottom of the big tree at the back of the field.

‘I know,’ I sigh, not meeting his eyes. ‘I’m sorry. My phone had been off so I could concentrate on my Master’s and when I turned it on and saw your numerous attempts at calling, I thought it was too late. I was sure that someone else had captured your heart.’

‘There was no someone else,’ he confirms.

I’m in the middle of a sip of coffee when his sentence ends. It’s all I can do not to spit it out. After I swallow (with a lot of concentration) I look at him, my brow raised.

‘You’re kidding,’ I state bluntly.

He shakes his head, smiling gently as he does so. ‘Nope. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you.’

As much as I love you.

‘You said that in the present tense. As in you still love me.’ My heart rate speeds up once again. It’s not a question.

‘Don’t you see, Sherry?’ he whispers as he turns his upper body to face me. ‘I do still love you. I never stopped loving you.’

His hand travels up to my cheek and I note the softness of his skin against mine and the electric touch and oh, I’ve missed this.

‘I still love you too, Vic,’ I murmur as I lean in.

Our lips touch softly, as if scared that this is all a dream. I pull myself up onto my knees as my right arm wraps around his shoulders, pulling him closer. My left hand seeks his and I grip it as if my life depends on it. His hand journeys up to my hair, burying itself into my curls.

Things are going much better than I thought they would.

The story of us looks a lot like a victory now.

The end.

Yup. Swiftie is my muse lately. So anyway, I’m not really in a Valentine’s Day mood because of... events, but I thought I could do my bit to cheer the world up. Adding tags: @love-in-mind-palace @worlds-in-my-mind @one-thousand-splendid-stars (I really hope you get to read this, Mimi), @shag-me-senseless-watson, @thepurplecarbuncle, @thepersonalblogofsh