#sweetpeaqueue

[tiny-sweet-pea]

So I was in my kitchen making myself a small lunch, and usually I’ll use measuring cups to make sure I’m getting proper serving sizes. My mom walks in and laughs a bit and makes a small comment saying ‘Oh you and your measuring cups’ to which i say “it just helps me with portion control, you know?” which is true. One of the reasons I’m able to stay under my calorie budget is by using measuring cups to make sure that everything matches up.

Then, out of nowhere, my mom looks me straight on and says “you know you’ll never be a size one, right?” and i just blank for a moment. My goal isn’t to be  a size one, mom. Would it be nice? oh god, yes it would be nice. She then tires to cover up that comment by saying “you’re tiny, buy you’re never going to be that tiny. It’s not healthy.” Well jokes on you mom, just watch, I will be that tiny and dainty and pretty, just you watch.

[tiny-sweet-pea]

So my mother, the women who told me I could never be a size one earlier, just started complimenting me on how skinny I am and how tiny I’ve become. She’s even saying that people are asking if I’m eating and are started to become concerned or worried since they think I might be anorexic. I immediately laughed it off and said that I could never have an eating disorder, and that she’s sees me eating all the time I just portion control.

If only they knew.

[tiny-sweet-pea]

So I went to the mall on Friday with my boyfriend so we could get our Halloween costumes and then some miscellaneous stuff. We decided to stop into hot topic after getting our costumes, and I found the cutest Stranger Things inspired shirt. The only thing that was off to me was the shirt came in a small, a large, and extra large. I’m usually someone who can fit in a medium-large depending on the fit of the shirt. However, the large was too big on me. The small... the small fit me just fine. Like literally fits like a glove.

iM DOWN TO BEING A SMALL-MEDIUM CLOTHING SIZE GUYS !! isn’t that wild?? I’m scared though since I haven’t been able to weigh myself in a hot second but I guess I’m down something right if I’m starting to drop sizes.

[tiny-sweet-pea]

I meet the band Waterparks in 9 days. I meet the love of my life in 9 days. I swear to god if all of my fasting and restricting doesn’t make me at least near my first goal weight for next tuesday, and i look fat in our M&G pictures, I will actually kill myself.