#sweet pea takeover

[plugrick]

“….Tortured?”

Kenneth didn’t seem comforted by the explanation behind just why Mike had subjected himself to horrible, mind bending poison. Not one bit. His face had deep concern written all over it, and that was to say nothing of the alarm shimmering in his eyes.

Admittedly, from an outside perspective, their trip to prison and the things that happened therein were heavy subjects. To say the least.

“That… wasn’t in the documentation…”

Mentioning the infamous Flannax hadn’t gone under the radar, either. Quz made a rough sound that almost resembled a bark of bitter laughter. “Bastard never changed. He was never quite right after losing that eye.”

Rick gave an annoyed huff of a sigh. Oh, so now Mike emphasized how much he didn’t want to be a blood thirsty maniac, huh? The human wished he had felt the same sentiment when they’d been back at the rebel hideout. And to top it off, he just had to throw in how much he hated Galax - as if they hadn’t had dozens of fights about his use of the stuff already. Mike wasn’t the only one who gave their ex-boyfriend a healthy dose of side eye.

“That… that all sounds terrible.” Ken sympathized, his tone taking on a tinge of softness. He was very troubled by this revelation. Very troubled indeed. “You must have been desperate, Mikey…”

Rick rolled his eyes. Could these two just get a room already? He was getting fed up with all the gentle words and special looks full of feeling and sweet nicknames. Ugh.

“C-can we please get to the part w-where we talk about, I-I dunno, something actually important?” He snapped impatiently. “S-something about this room makes me nauseous, a-aaand I would love to hurry this up.”

He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something about being in the grand conference room was making his stomach turn.

“L-let’s talk giant canon.” He firmly redirected, taking the opportunity to kick his legs up on the table. Which was a very frowned upon move in the Federation, not that Rick cared. “I-I still think you should just, y’know, cough it up a-aaand hand it over to us.”

“That is preposterous.” Quz nearly spat, one of his mandibles curling up like he’d taken a bite out of something soured. “I wouldn’t let you ten feet in range of a click-chitter pea shooter, much less the Giga Canon.”

“Aht aht aht,” the human scolded lightly, wagging his finger at the elder commander like he was a child speaking out of line. “I-III don’t take answers from people who look l-like they’re melting.”

Kenneth made a face, seemingly at a loss for how to deal with the unruly ape creature that kept continuously insulting his mentor and suggesting outlandish takeover plans. He exchanged an exasperated look with his old friend.

“Mike, I understand that this is your chosen life partner, but… Is he… always like this?”

X

[littlepadika]

Which Character Are You?

Sweet Pea from Calling Home or Peaches from Eyes Full of Stars?

Post your results and tag me!

Anyone can play! I can’t wait to see your results! I hope you're team sweet pea 😉🌸

Here are padika’s answers:

No pressure tags: @beskarboobs @headinthestarz @heythere-mel @axshadows @javierpinme, @sleep-tight1, @oceanablue @kenoobiwan @beskar-candy and @danniburgh.

[l0vey-d0vey-moved]

@ the snake charmer gang - how’d y’all end up together?

Sweet Pea grinned,“Well, if you’re talking about how we know each other,” He swung his arm over Fangs’ shoulders and continued,“Me and Fangs have known each other for the longest time, and Jug over here -” He gestured to said beanie-wearing guy -“Well, we only became ‘friends’ when he became the king.”

Fangs playfully punched him and they began to wrestle with each other, with Jughead sighing and attempting to avoid them. “How we all got together? ...It took a while, truthfully. At first, me and Sweet Pea were both.. ‘fighting’ I guess, over Sienna. After a while, Fangs got into the action and that’s when Sienna approached all of us to admit that they liked all three of us. They explained how it could work out and.... well, here we are.”

[littlepadika]

@yespolkadotkitty this is so beautiful and perfect for our story. I’m making it my lockscreen. Look at this Frankie! - sweet pea 🌸

Oh wow someone made this for us? That's incredible. Wow. - Frankie 🐟

She's a writer just like me! Do you have any tips for me, Kitty?

I humbly lay this at the feet of @littlepadika because the story Calling Home has my heart in a vice grip. The relationship has progressed at a believable pace, the dialogue is great, and the little anxieties and yearning along with the knowledge of the VA and veterans’ experiences gives it such versimilitude. <3

[serpentcentral]

“Am I coming back for season 4? That’s a little bit of a mystery. But I can tell you that you guys can definitely expect to see more Sweet Pea for season 4 and beyond hopefully.

Do I miss Sweet Pea? Yeah, I miss Sweet Pea. I know you guys miss Sweet Pea too but there is more Sweet Pea to come.

When will I be back on Riverdale? You know, that’s a big surprise and I think you’ll be excited when I come back. When Sweet Pea comes back to Riverdale it’ll be great.” — Jordan Connor on his Riverdale character, Sweet Pea, during his takeover of Hot Topic’s IG, December 17th, 2019.

[shaniahnoel]

Everything Has Changed: Chapter 11

Warnings: None?

Word Count: 1874

Master List

Author’s Note: Tbh it’s probably a good thing I’ve never gotten *serious* about writing because if I somehow became published I would be trash at deadlines. AKA... sorry this is so late <3 

There was an odd silence as Riley walked Sweet Pea to the door. Dinner had gone exceptionally well. Ellie had insisted that Sweet Pea sit beside her, which put Riley across from him. When her mother said grace, he looked slightly confused as she took his hand in hers but bowed his head. At first the conversation was slow, but Riley’s mother had a way of warming people up to one another, melting the tension. When they talked about her father, Sweet Pea held his gaze upon her and Riley knew he saw through her every word.

He’d said nothing though and her mother was too concerned with keeping everything running that she didn’t notice. Her shoulders bore the weight of the world and Riley couldn’t bear to add to their burden. Now, however, they were standing at the door, Riley’s hand on the knob. She hesitated, wondering what she should say, if she should say anything at all. His height was no longer intimidating, she realized as she glanced up at him. It screamed strength and radiated protection. The weight of the earlier conversation came upon her again and once again she found herself wrapping her arms around him. This time Sweet Pea didn’t hesitate but gathered her in his arms firmly.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, his mouth tickling her temple.

“For what,” she asked, pulling away from his chest.

“I may get a little… defensive… about the Serpents,” he admitted, looking down.

“A little?”

“The cops hauled us in after the fight. Not one Northsider. Not the idiots with a gun. The Serpents.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“We’re just a bunch of thugs to them,” his mouth curling bitterly around the word thug. “Then there’s Jughead who can’t make up his mind—only wants the Serpents when it’s convenient. We’re not a convenience,” he said with more force, “this is a family, y’know? You can’t be half in.”

He’d curled his hands into fists, pulling the fabric of her shirt into his right hand, reminding her of its presence on her waist. She cupped it with her own, massaging her thumb over the cracked skin and his grip loosened.

“Sorry,” he said again, looking abashed.

“It’s alright; now go, I have to study.”

“Do you need a ride in tomorrow?”

“Wha—oh yeah. Tomorrow’s Thursday, right? That’d be great.” Her voice was a little shakier and she felt her cheeks heating up. There was nothing embarrassing about needing tutoring, she told herself fiercely. Nothing at all.

“Alright, I’ll be here around 7. Phone?”

Sweet Pea took her offered phone and tapped his number in. The small chime from his pocket told her that he’d sent himself a message. As he handed her back the phone, he pulled out his own. He motioned for her to step back, but by the time she realized what he was doing it was too late, the flash went off catching her like a deer in headlights. Sweet Pea laughed as she reached for it, holding it high above her head. Finally, he gestured to her phone.

“Go ahead, even the score.”

“Smile, if you know how.”

Sweet Pea’s scowl was illuminated as the flash went off. Riley laughed, glancing down at the picture. She was sure that he looked angry to the untrained eye, but she could see the laughter that danced just beyond the surface.

“It’ll do,” she said, pushing him to the door. “Now, go away.”

When she turned from the closed door she was startled by her mother standing in the doorway. There was a knowing look on her face, a smirk playing at her mouth. Riley shrugged, feigning obliviousness, and her mother remained silent. Or she did until Riley passed her on the way to the stairs.  

“Y’know he’s a little rough around the edges, but he seems like a nice young man,” she said quietly.”

“Yeah,” Riley nodded with a small smile on her face, “he really is.” Her mother fixed her with a knowing look and Riley groaned.

“I’m too busy to think about dating right now. I must get my trig grade up and we’re reopening the shop tomorrow. It’s just too much right now,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Riley, sweetheart, you don’t need to put yourself to the side for us. What you want still matters,” her mother responded, cupping her cheek and looking at her with sad eyes.

“It’s not just that,” Riley admitted, flopping onto the stairs as she realized this conversation was going to go on longer than she’d wanted.

“This is about your dad,” her mother said, spearing the issue as she sat down. “I realized at dinner, but I didn’t know how you’d feel talking about it in front of Sweet Pea,” she continued, apparently reading Riley’s mind, “If something is wrong I want you to tell me; never feel like you can’t.”

Riley nodded, tears springing forth and she blinked them away rapidly. She opened her mouth a few times, seeking out the words she wanted. “His face is so bruised because the Serpents got into a fight with the Bulldogs over tagging the Southside. It freaked me out so much,” she said thickly, “I just don’t want the people I care about getting hurt.”

Her mother wrapped an arm around her, stroking her shoulder soothingly. “Oh honey, getting hurt is a part of caring. You can’t separate them.”

“I wish Dad was here,” she said into her mother’s shoulder.

“Not too much longer,” she promised.  

A pounding down the hallway made them glance to the other apprehensively before looking towards the source. Ellie was barreling towards them, an oversized piece of paper in her hand. She planted both feet before piercing Riley with an accusatory glare.

“Neither you or Sweet Pea looked at MY picture,” she fumed and Riley bit her cheek to keep composure.

“Riley, I’m shocked,” her mother said, placing a hand against her chest. “How could you not look at this masterpiece?”

Riley quickly converted her laugh into a cough before moving off the stairs to look at the painting. It seemed her sister’s artistic ability fell much in line with her own. Unsure of what she was looking at, she decided to play it safe.

“Miss Ellie, we’ve heard the news that you’ve created a new piece and now here it is, up close and personal. What, if anything, can you tell us about your work,” Riley asked, holding her hand out like a microphone and adopting a sophisticated voice. Ellie giggled, clearly pleased before going on and on about the alien marshmallows and their takeover of the moon. While she rambled, Riley and her mother exchanged a look and Riley knew that to care was better than not.

 The next morning, Riley fluttered around more than usual. Three outfits were strewn about the room, none seeming quite right. She finally slipped the black skinny jeans back on quickly, realizing she had ten minutes left. The grey V-neck was slim-fitting, but the flannel was comfortably loose. Looking for some insulation, she threw on her old leather jacket and checked her phone. Sweet Pea was right on time.

He didn’t say anything as she slid into the cab but glanced towards her in acknowledgement. She would have been offended if not for the coffee in the cup holder and the massive yawn he stifled only a minute later. Surprise, surprise, Sweet Pea was not a morning person. Suddenly Riley felt bad before remembering that he was the one who had volunteered for the early morning drive. They drove on in comfortable silence and he gave her a warmer smile as he dropped her off at the front entrance.

Nearly an hour later, Riley made her way to her locker, wondering what the point had been. Everything he had said hadn’t made a bit of sense—the formulas just weren’t connecting in her head. The clicking of heels alerted her to Iris’ approach and she turned with a grimace. The hopeful smile on Iris’ face dimmed.

“I thought things were good last night, and he picked you up this morning…”

“No, no… Not Sweet Pea,” Riley said, “That’s all great. Or good enough. It’s trig.”

“Oh,” Iris said with a sympathetic look, “Why don’t you ask for a tutor?”

“I’m already getting help sessions,” Riley answered, confused at the mischievous smile Iris wore.

“Only twice a week, though. And no one’s brain works this early. You need afternoon help sessions. I’m sure there’s someone in your class… maybe someone attractive?”

Riley laughed, shooing Iris away from her locker as the morning bell rang. Still, she thought about it as she walked to first period with him. There was no reason she couldn’t ask him to help her. She was sure he’d be willing, but it wasn’t like he had a reputation for trying very hard in class. There was a pop quiz that day which the teacher had, sort of, warned her about. She studied Sweet Pea, trying to see if he struggled over the work.  A cough from the front told her that she’d been staring a second too long. When the end of period bell rang, Sweet Pea looked as though he wanted to ask her something but remained silent. The day passed by and all too soon it was the final bell that rang out.

Her nerves were jumbled as she made her way through the parking lot. It was time to open the shop again. She used the time to walk to prepare herself for what was to come, running through a mental checklist. The garage was only a few blocks away from the school and she was there in no time. As she unlocked the door, she was surprised to find that she could cross the first two items off her list. Someone had repaired the door and the red circle all but faded.

The bell tinkled cheerfully in the stillness of the room. The broom and dustpan laid in the corner of the room and Riley approached it slowly. Part of her felt that, perhaps, her mother had come to clean the shop after over a week of disuse. It cut off half her to-do list which was both blessing and curse. Her stomach turned as she made her way to the door into the garage. This was a moment she’d hoped to postpone. The smell of bleach assailed her nose as soon as the door opened. Her eyes refocused soon after she flipped the lights on, but she blinked a few times to be sure of what she was seeing.

The shop was clean. Top to bottom clean, the floor shining. She walked over to wear the van had fallen. The lift was lowered to the ground, spotless like the rest of the building. There was no bloodstained floor as she’d come to fear. With the entire floor sparkling, she couldn’t even tell where his body had lain. Her mother wouldn’t have been able to clean it this flawlessly, she realized. There wasn’t a hint of who may have cleaned up, but Riley wasn’t altogether surprised. The community loved her father. She took a deep breath and returned to the front room. She could do this.

Taglist:  @ella-full-of-secrets @my-ships-have-sunk@54fangirl@everheart12@inspiredbynewt@poolpartyingwithjaws@southsidesserpent@lynniev @karleedaniels27 @the-greatt-perhaps @lilybellsworld @cherylblossom-deadeye @oldestfairytale

[weelittleweasley]

Sweets Cuddles... | Sweet Pea Headcannon

Prompt requested by anon: Soft, cuddly Sweet Pea

Request status: Open! At last!

after a rough day, all you wanted to do was curl up in bed with sweet pea

today was one of those days

coming back from school, you let your backpack hit the floor of sweet’s trailer and he laughed

“rough day” he asked and you shook your head “wanna talk about it”

you shook your head no as you accepted his large embrace over your smaller body

you took in the scent on his shirt: cheap cologne and leather

the scent was comforting and instantly made you feel more relaxed

“come on” he took your hand, guiding you to the bedroom.

the two of you stripped yourself from your school uniforms and changed into something more comfortable

for you, that was underwear and pea’s shirt

for him, it was a pair of boxers and a clean shirt

you laid in his bed, him assuming responsibility of the big spoon

his large arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his body

“come here, you” he spoke as you giggled, snuggling into his chest “do you wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

you sighed, “not really”

he nodded “that’s okay”

the two of you remained silent as he rubbed circles against your lower back

the material of his t-shirt danced underneath your fingertips as you traced mindless patterns on his chest

the silence between you two wasn’t awkward at all

he knew when you were upset, you needed time to yourself and silence was the best was to do that

sweets placed kisses to your temple, pulling you in closer to him

you sighed, letting yourself melt into him

it was crazy to you that even though you had been together for almost eight months, the slightest touch from him could make your heart beat a mile a minute

“ i love you,” you looked up at him with a smile

“i love you too, princess” he spoke before pressing a soft kiss to your lips

after a few minutes, you could feel your eyes start drooping

pea could tell that you were exhausted from whatever happened today

“it’s okay, love, go to sleep,” he cooed, kissing the top of your head

he pulled the covers over you too as you let the sensation of sleep takeover your body

sweets watched as you fluttered your eyes closed, resting your head against his chest, falling asleep to the sound of his heart beat

he smiled at the sight and cuddled into your more, letting himself fall asleep eventually

[serpentqueenz]

More late night conspiracies from your two favorites.

S3 plots:

Josie & Archie form a coup and takeover the Serpents

Sweetty takes more Adderall and looks dewy

Sweet Pea continues his fashion reign while wearing the tightest pants and playing with a crystal ball 🔮

[littlepadika]

Quick Announcement

header designed by me, original gifs by @uuuhshiny from pinterest

Hi All! Last week I broke 800 followers. I can't believe it 😱!! I want to thank everyone who joined my 500 follower request game (@heythere-mel, @axshadows, @anaaaispunk, @underwood0723, @hnt-escape, @kenoobiwan, @oceanablue, @beskarboobs, @iwishtobeastorm, @beautifuldegenerate, @ppslutt, @prettypedros, 🎀anon, and all the other anons 😘)

Also thank you to everyone who blesses me with requests, comments, reblogs, etc... I would not be here without you! Keep it up my darlings 💕

Some housekeeping 🧹 then a special announcement 🎉

🧹 I started med school (yay) which means I'm on tumblr less (boo). I check notifications and messages throughout the day but I may be slow to reply. I also may be slower to answer requests. I'm still figuring out my schedule so things may fluctuate but I wanted to be transparent with you all.

🧹 littlespace taglist 🍼 is OPEN. Sign up through form in my bio (even if you've filled it out before). Taglist will be for anything with little!reader. It is not the same as permanent taglist which is for long form fics only.

🎉Now onto the fun stuff... 😁

This milestone is happening at the same time as the three month anniversary of Calling Home! The first fic I ever posted on this blog!

To celebrate I have invited a very special guest to come take over my blog… Sweet Pea!!!!

With your love, Sweet pea🌸 became her own person, infused with all of our romanticism and hope and vulnerability. She can’t wait to meet you all and answer any questions you have about her and Frankie's life! (Calling home!Frankie may also pop in from time to time!)

Takeover begins: Friday August 13th

NSFW is okay (though no outright sexting or Frankie will get possessive and shut it down). Takeover will feature fun games and another exciting announcement 🤫🎉

I will post more information when we get closer! 🥳

[ask-svt-hearteu]

Vernon’s takeover of ask-svt-hearteu

Hansol: What’s up everyone? Today I am ready to answer all and any of your questions! Thank you so much for your love and support it is because of you lovely carats that I’m always so happy! Let’s have fun today~

Mini Masterlist of Hansol Day asks: 

hi hansol!! my ultimate bias!! i hope you're having a wonderful birthday, please receive lots of love today and rest well! (to be honest my hormones are in full swing and i need snugs, so if you're up for birthday snugs, i will gladly volunteer ~) -sweet pea anon

“To Hansol: Happy Birthday to you too, sweetheart!! Please wish for all your wishes and remember that I along with so many others hope you have a wonderful birthday. I love you both, and hope you both take great care of yourselves. I hope we can eat cake together! 사랑해요!!“

Hansol...where do I begin...? You've grown up and become such an amazing person that I adore to pieces. And you're continuing to grow even more now. So, eat, rest, drink... do whatever the hell you want today. It's your day! Make the most of it! Happy Birthday baby boy, I love you so much!! And I can't wait to spend more years with you, and watch you grow into an even more wonderful person ♡ HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANSOL ♡

VERNON IS THE CUTEST LITTLE THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AND SEOKMIN IS BRIGHTER THEN THE SUN AND HIS SMILE COULD CURE CANCER OKAY THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO MR SCREAMING ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM

happy birthday vernon!! i can’t believe it’s been another year that’s gone by! eat a lot, get some rest, and go out and have some fun!! we love you so much!💙 -dream anon

PULL UP ON YOU WACKS WITH THE MAC FULLY LOADED AH HAPPY BIRTHDAY VERNONIEE (Bye! *nyoom*)

Vernon Vernon Vernon! It’d finally your birthday!!! I love you so much have the best day ever! Sending all the hugs kisses and love from the UK!

Happy birthday Vernon! My one and only seventeen bias! I’ve talked about you so much these last couple of months that my sister asked isn’t it your favourites birthday today! I love you!

Happy birthday Hansol! WORDS CANNOT PHYSICALLY EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!! Like actually I think that everyone is sick of me spamming on my account about you but I can’t stop!! I love you so much!!

YO MEMESOL HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♡ !! Thank you for being my bias for about 2 weeks (im sorry dino stole me away but you have a very special place in my heart) tHANK YOU FOR MAKING CARATS SMILE and blessing us w ur visuals (i had a heart attack watching trauma so ur paying for my hospital bills) and rapping and memery. ♡♡♡♡♡♡ 사랑해요 버논 ! ~ the girl w the same name as ur sister but unfortunately udk me irl :( ♡

Hansol who’s the coolest member of seventeen?

Happy birthday Hansol!!! I hope you have an absolutely WONDERFUL birthday! You deserve so much happiness since you bring happiness to so many people all over the world! Please take care of yourself, eat well, and get plenty of rest! Here’s to another year!

HANSOL YOU HUGE DORK!!! Happy Birthday my dudes!! Don't break your back getting older jkjk love ya!

Happy birthday Hansol!! I remember I had a huge crush on you but I'm happy for my best friend on this special day! Hope it's filled with lots of love!

CAN I JUST SAY YOU HAVE THE PRETTIEST EYES I COULD DROWN LOOKING INTO THEM AND YOU HAVE SUCH BEAUTIFUL LASHES AND WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE HAPPY BIRTHDAY BYE🏃🏻‍♀️💨

hansol = the sweetest boy ever omg ilysm youre so precious and i want to protect you forever

Hansol after I saw you on weekly idol I’m so soft for you and I’m like crying but I wanna fight you at the same time and ahhhh 😬😶😅😭. So yeah you’ve gone from bias wrecker to bias in 2 seconds just a heads up lol ❤️

Vernonie, take your (American) age, subtract 3, congratulations you are now seventeen again and you only have a few dollars

I adore you enough to get dizzy, my beautiful eyebrow prince ♡♡♡♡♡

Happy birthday vernon hope you had/ have a great birthday love you even if you kill me all the time anyway yeaa *looks away shyly*

love you two precious rays of sunshine so so much! your smiles always help me get through tough times, and hansol's laugh and voice makes my heart do somersaults in the clouds bc you're one of my biases 💖💖 but then there's seokmin with his dazzling smile and cheery personality that makes my bias list sway a lot haha 💕 but I love you two so much, hope you got to have seaweed soup finally and had the best day 💛💛

*deep breath* STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DIDNT HEAR ME OR- HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO

[ericleo108]

🎤 Music Artists’ Composition and Communication

Overt and Subliminal Tactics and Techniques

Intro

This essay is an update of The Collective (Un)conscious in Music & Media. It is more concise and directed in light of newly developed information like ETM, ETM2, The Blue Treatise, etc. As you will come to see there are different forms of linguistics, lyrics, music, imaging and cinematic semantics and mirroring. What we will explore are the various forms those semantics and mirroring portray themselves and try to make sense of what most people don’t even know occurs or exists.

Influence

“If I have seen further it is only by standing on the shoulders of giants.” - Sir Isaac Newton

When we think about music we think of our favorite composers.  No matter what genre though your favorite artist got their start learning from someone that came before them. Doing things like learning another artist's songs and what their favorite cords, words, phrases, or metaphors are, will mold the proceeding artist in their image. As with anything familiar, their artistry will be “imprinted” in their mind.

Recognizing Similarities

I will be focusing on hip-hop but as long as I know the proceeding artist I can tell how the succeeding artist has been influenced. For an example, in song, you can tell Avril Lavigne was heavily influenced by Alanis Morissette; just listen to “Head Over Feet” and then “Complicated.” As an example in rap, Asher Roth talks about how he thinks he’s been successful because he sounds like Eminem as described in the track “As I Em.” Those are vocal examples, musically some artists and bands use other band’s work explicitly and deliberately. For example, Crazy Town’s “Butterfly” is just a riff from The Red Hot Chili Peppers “Pretty Little Ditty.”

I heard “Butterfly” when I was in grade school but never knew it was from TRHCP until College. I knew the first time I heard “Pretty Little Ditty” though that it was the same musical riff as “Butterfly.” I’ve shown this to a couple people that have heard both songs and they couldn’t tell it is the same musical progression. If the lay-person doesn’t recognize this, as we go deeper into the human mind, it should become more and more self evident that the similarities between various musical and lyrical associations become harder and harder to see!

Musical Samples

What most people don’t see are music similarities known as “samples” which are small snippets of work from another’s artistry. Some examples of obvious samples are Kid Cudi sampling Lady Gaga’s acoustic version of “Pokerface” in “Make Her Say” or Mac Miller sampling Nas in “Nike’s on my feet.”

Music artists often take a certain sounds and create a whole new musical piece, creating an original work from a classic or a classic from an otherwise unknown original work. Often the sampled classic become a classic. Kid Rock’s “All Summer Long” sampled from Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Sweet Home Alabama” is a great example.  

Copyright

Musical sampling happens so often certain sounds (and phrases) are considered intellectual property and are copyrighted by the originator. If you do not credit or pay for the rights to use the sampled sound of a copyrighted work the originator can sue for damages. The most quintessential example of this is Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby” and Queen’s “Under Pressure.”

Less noticeably, Mac Miller was sued for "Kool Aid & Frozen Pizza" because he didn’t clear samples from Lord Finesse's 1995 single "Hip 2 Da Game." More famously, controversial, and recent this type of copyright infringement sampling happened to Robin Thicke who “ripped off” Marvin Gaye's 1977 hit "Got to Give It Up" when he wrote the smash hit "Blurred Lines" with Pharrell Williams and T.I.

These examples are either obvious, identifiable, or published in the news because it’s protected and institutions get involved in protecting their property. But to people or the regular person, they can’t tell, don’t care, and/or have no idea (Robin Thicke sampled Marvin Gaye, for example)! ...and why should they?

Understanding Metaphors in Hip-Hop

There are other ways artists share without having to worry about copyright. For example, besides creative commons, in hip-hop, artists use metaphor and samples to communicate in music. The following are common metaphors, themes, tropes, or cliches in hip-hop that are (pretty) universally used (to show talent and ability).

The “Lab” = Producing Hip-Hop, example:

“What, cause I been in the lab, wit a pen and a pad, try’na get this damn label off” - Forgot about Dre by Dr. Dre

“Back to the lab again yo, this whole rhapsody” - Lose Yourself by Eminem

“I be in the Lab” by G-Eazy

“Whipping” it in “the Kitchen,” example:

“Catch me in the kitchen, like a Simmons whippin' pastry” - Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z

“I throw down in the kitchen might hit your mom with my omelette” - Despicable by Eminem

"Woke up in the kitchen and I started mad whippin'" - Whippin' by Gucci Mane

Voltron/Weapons Capabilities of Transformers, example:

“Come on, you know the 'Tics connect like Voltron Collect so much grass, popo thinking we mow lawns.” - Shake Ya Tailfeather by P. Diddy

“But I form like Voltron and blast you with my shoulder missiles” - Just Don’t Give a F#$k by Eminem

"We form like Voltron, and GZA happen to be the head" - Can It Be All So Simple by Wu-Tang

“I'm a beast when you turn me on into the future cybertron” - Boom Boom Pow by The Black Eyed Peas

“Sleep on Me” is so cliche I don’t need any examples.

To identify metaphors you need to be able to recognize certain words and phrases and how they associate to one another. Another factor is the music. Like what is the tone/mood, is it reflecting another work, etc.? If you’d like to know how rappers use and write metaphors watch this video from the pro Novi Novak himself!

Lyrical Samples

There are musical samples but there are also lyrical samples. When it comes to “sampling” you have to be able to recognize patterns! Lyrical sampling is when you take another artist’s cadence (i.e. flow) and make your own (new and original) lyric progression. This typically starts with the first line from the original, sampled lyric followed by original lyrics in the same cadence (flow) as the sampled work. Some examples of sampling are as follows.

Drake samples Dead Prez’s “It’s bigger than Hip Hop” in “Over” starting with the lyric, “One thing bout music when it hit you feel no pain.” G-Eazy samples Kanye West’s “Stronger” in “Let’s Get Lost” starting with the lyric “Let’s get lost tonight.” Rita Ora is sampling Biggie Smalls’s “Party and Bullshit” in “How We Do” ...and 50 Cent’s is sampling 2pac’s “Picture me Roll’n” in “Places to Go.”

Artistic Communication

In music, especially in hip-hop, there is a form of artistic communication in musical, linguistic, and visual mirroring or responding. Sampling is usually a sign of respect and admiration. Some examples of positive linguistic artist communication is how Sublime honors KRS-One in their song “KRS-One,” Royce Da 5’9” honors Eminem in “Lighters,” Eminem honor’s Dr. Dre in “I Need a Doctor,” Taylor Swift honors Tim McGraw in “Tim McGraw,” or The Notorious BIG and Macklemore honors all of hip-hop in “Juicy” and “At the Party” respectively.  An example of positive visual communication is how Justin Timberlake honors Michael Jackson posthumously in “Love Never Felt So Good.”

Biting

Biting is when you sample but “flip” the words/sentiment to make them negative or pejorative (i.e. a diss).  Biting is more of a competitive condescending back-talk. Biting or negative artistic communication is all too common especially in hip-hop where it’s rampant and (almost) expected.  Some historic examples of negative linguistic artist communication are 2Pac’s “Hit Em Up” and The Notorious BIG’s “Who Shot Ya,” Nas’s “Ether” and Jay-Z’s “The Takeover,” Ja Rule’s “Loose Change” and Eminem’s “Hailie’s Revenge.”

A less serious (showboating) example of negative visual artistic communication is how Hopsin makes fun of Tyler The Creator’s “Yonkers” in “Illmind of Hopsin 4.” Then The Game copy’s Hopsin’s look in “Martians Vs. Goblins” and Hopsin “calls-out” The Game for it in “Hop Madness.”

Subliminal Artist Communication

The previous examples in the “Artistic Communication” section were examples of overt artist communication. This makes sense because why would you subliminally honor an artist, if you like or love that fellow artist? You wouldn’t, you’d want to make it known. However, when it comes to biting (in contemporary artistry) the negative communication turns subliminal.

To be explicit, notice how Hopsin makes his communications overt and says the artist’s names and mirrors them while the mainstream artists never official say they are talking to Hopsin although it’s obvious once pointed out. This is done so the bigger mainstream artist (Tyler The Creator and The Game) doesn’t give attention to the independent artist (Hopsin). If you think about it, a mainstream artist gains (almost) nothing by mentioning a smaller independent or underground artist. These are the reasons why I believe subliminal artistic communication overwhelmingly, if not always, is negative and artistic communication between mainstream and independent artists remain subliminal.

Subliminal Examples

Another example of subliminal artist communication is how Immortal Technique’s “Reverse Pimpology” is (in my profession opinion) a response to 50 Cent’s “P.I.M.P.” for reasons that should be/sound obvious in the songs similarity, region, and lyrical insinuation. An example of an obvious but subliminal mainstream negative visual artist communication is when Taylor Swift literally bites Kanye West visually in “Look at What You Made Me Do” by making fun of his bottom row of diamond encrusted gold fronts.  

There are other reasons to keep your influences, mirroring, and “artistic theft” hidden and subliminal. Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” famously and controversially came from Madonna’s “Express Yourself.” Bruno Mars definitely is insinuating the word “pleasure” in his song “Treasure” but probably only used that choice of words as to not be restricted from radio or other airplay for being explicit or obscene (because America sees it obscene to give women pleasure). Finally, Eminem’s Despicable is a freestyle over Drake’s “Over” beat and was Eminem’s way of protecting his throne at the top of the chart and showing he was a better artist than Drake who was a threat on the charts and awards at the time when both “Recovery” and “Thank Me Later” were released in the same year.

Eminem’s Subliminals

The most famous example of overt artist communication turned subliminal is between Mariah Carey and Eminem. After Eminem and Mariah Carey were done dating Eminem came out with a few songs mentioning Mariah, notably "Bagpipes from Baghdad." In what can only be deemed as a response Mariah put out "Obsessed" which features a shady character (pun intended) that looks just like Em in a room with posters full of Mariah obviously obsessing over her. Although Mariah never mentioned his name, Eminem responded with "The Warning" where he says "I'm obsessed now? Oh gee, is that supposed to be me in the video with the goatee?" ...which it obviously is.

People saw this subliminal communication and went, “duh” but would you have noticed it if Eminem wouldn’t have responded so overtly? What if you didn’t know who Eminem was? The only reason people see the subliminal communication here is because they are both big name artists, Eminem made it obvious, and the events surrounding the communication were closely connected in time and suspect.

Taylor Swift Visual Sampling Example

We started with auditory sampling and we have now graduated into visual sampling as just discussed starting with the “Biting” section. The most recent and relevant example of visual “sampling” in a music video is to look at what TIME magazine is saying about Taylor Swift’s “Look What You Made Me Do.” I picked this article TIME wrote about Taylor visually sampling other artists to show it doesn’t get any more normal and mainstream to connect and associate visual similarities and references. For example, TIME talks about what the dollar bill means in Taylor’s bathtub of diamonds and I agree with their assertion.

In other articles there are a lot of people saying that Taylor copied Beyonce because she has a bat in the “bank scene” like Beyonce does in “Hold Up.” I personally see that as a stretch because the bat is an independent association with no other references (to “Hold Up”)! What would strengthen that argument is that people think the V formation in Taylor’s dance scene is actually copying Beyonce’s Superbowl dance formation but that’s a stretch.  It’s more likely Taylor is copying the “V” formation for “The Mighty Ducks.” There are other articles about how Taylor’s cage scene is referencing Lindsay Lohan’s “Rumors” but it’s just as likely she reflecting the cage scene from Miley Cyrus’s “Can’t be Tamed.” However, I do agree with the consensus that Taylor is more likely referencing “Rumors” IF she is reflecting either of them at all.  

Visual Sampling

The best representation of a similar music video is Nick Jonas’s “Chains” and Jay-Z and Kanye West’s “No Church in the Wild.” The music composition and the visual themes are very similar. They are both shot in widescreen, same style, hue/shade, and have the same props and characters. The music videos are so similar (in fact) I expect that both (music videos) were made by the same creator. They were both made by the same label, Universal Music Group (UMG).

Two other music videos that are also from the same parent label (UMG) and are in the same style, hue, and have the same themes are Taylor swift’s “Trouble” and Eminem’s “Love the Way You Lie.” Demi Lovato’s music video “Sorry Not Sorry” is in the same style and format as “Beauty and the Beat” by Justin Bieber.  If you take away the fact that one is in black and white, there’s a lot of similarities between G - Eazy’s “Calm Down” and Drake’s “The Motto” which is unintentional due to the production coming from different labels (UMG and Sony respectively).   

Can’t Keep My Hands To Myself

The question becomes what does all this reflecting mean considering it’s coming from the same label, UMG? This isn’t just mindless, random mirroring. There’s a deeper metaphor and narrative that UMG is creating/painting. As discussed in ETM2 it’s like playing balderdash where you have to associate words without using certain words or phrases. In the same respect UMG is playing balderdash with music videos and giving people ideas without their conscious recollections, which is what semantic priming is as discussed in ETM.

For example, we assume Selena Gomez’s character in the song “Hands to Myself,” is in the house of the boy she’s obsessed with, the one with the curly blonde hair. However, Rihanna's song “Stay” could be about the same curly haired blonde boy just over at Rihanna's place singing with her while Selena’s breaking into his place and he shows up to catch her after he leaves Rihanna. The ending scene in “Hands to Myself” could just represent what Selena wishes the reality would be while the actual reality is Selena getting arrested for trespassing. Although confusing, this is plausible, and seems to be a semantic mirroring regardless coming from the same parent label UMG.

To add to the complexity of UMG’s message it seems that Camila Cabello’s “Havana” is (also) intentionally reflecting Selena Gomez’s “Same Old Love.” The music videos are very similar in cadence and composition and at the end of the “Havana” music video Camila says “...if you don’t like my story, go write your own” after, what we can assume to be Selena Gomez, ends up alone.

UMG’s Societal Painting

The point I'm making and the question we must ask ourselves is what message is UMG trying to portray with all these similarities between music videos? What psychological conditions are UMG trying to create with the similarity between “No Church in the Wild” and “Chains,” “Trouble” and “Love the Way You Lie,” and “Beauty and the Beat” and “Sorry Not Sorry.” For example, both Taylor and Eminem have poor romantic reputations and their videos are similarly about the dismantling of love.

Considering The Fascist Capitalist Nazi Ideology journal we can assume the motivation and goal is pejorative. Its seems intuition and common sense would assume UMG is boguarding love and having these artists create their own mental blocks. As I ask in the Leo's Inception journal,  why are the majority of these artists not married with a family?

Next Level

To be able to see the aforementioned it’s all about pattern recognition of all the various forms. However, there's a whole nother level in writing lyrics where you say something that sounds similar, imply it, omit it, say it without saying it, or give a double meaning.  

An example of a double meaning is Uncle Kracker's “Follow Me.” Is it about love or cocaine? An example of just omitting words is in Eminem’s “Toy Soldier” when he says “I went my whole career without ever mentioning ___.” It’s clear he’s talking about “Suge (Knight)” by the rhyme scheme in relation to his history and what he’s talking about, but he doesn’t say it.

As an example of saying it without saying it (more subtle, but [what should be] just as obvious) is Taylor Swift’s “Picture to Burn.” She says “So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy. That's fine, You won’t mind if I say... By the way, I hate that stupid old…” It’s obvious she’s implying she's going to “say” he’s “gay” because what else would she tell everybody that’s gonna hurt him and rhymes with say and way?

An example of saying something that sounds similar is when Taylor Swift says “make fun of our axes” in 22. She clearly means “accents.” One of the most famous examples (that’s probably unintentional) is from Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” when she says “I have a long list of ex lovers” because everyone thinks she is really saying “starbucks lovers.”  

Some examples of songs that imply what you are saying is Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball.” I swear everyone I tell this to says they see it and can’t get it out of their mind afterwards! In her music video “Wrecking Ball” Miley is naked and crying as it sounds like she’s saying “you Ra-a-aped me.” It’s almost as if the producers of the music video deliberately wanted the listener/viewer to make that connection in their head between her vulnerability, tears, and what it sounds like she’s saying without saying it, and used those similarities to such a tragic event to (balderdash [as discussed in ETM2 and) sell records.

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s02e08 Empty Planet review - or more aptly named, HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BREATHE AFTER THIS ONE?

Episode 08 – Empty Planet

So last episode was beyond controversial in my head. I hope this would be okay. Though the name suggests something seriously creepy is going to happen.

Let’s see what happens.

What is he making? That looks like a fucking bomb! Why is he phoning it in? what’s going on? Fuck. Shit. On a bus?

Oh god, this guy is completely over the hedge.

And he hides the bomb inside an umbrella? What?

Hey, Spencer is trying to be civil, why are you blowing him off, Jayje?

Homeland Security? Damn.

Oh god, I love Penelope’s hairstyle.

“Who can say no to me?” I know I can’t. XD I love this woman.

Yeah, if you don’t know where the bomb is gonna go kaboom, you have to contain it till the event happens and then investigate. Fuck. Otherwise everyone will panic and it would be worse.

Seattle. Oh jeez.

Did he just blow that bus up with a remote control? Fuck. That is nasty.

Maxmillien Robespierre: “Crime butchers innocents to secure a prize. And innocence struggles with all its might against the attempt of crime.” Wow, this guy is deep. Who is he?

“So Seattle is where it all began.” “We just need to figure out what it is. And off the top of my head all I can think of is grunge music and overpriced coffee.” I love you, Derek! I love you, Reid! Let’s kick this episode right. Whoo! Kidding, people are dead, let’s get straight to it.

They’re teaming up with the Seattle FBI, damn.

Wait. Derek was on bomb squad? Hot and dangerous. Love him.

So they’re trying to lure him out by stressing that the case isn’t a terror attack? Smart.

So if I wanted, I could use a remote control from a toy I bought from a toy-store, attach some explosive detonator, and kaboom? Well, fuck!

Dried peas. Hmm. Controlled explosion?

Etched on it is a robot with an arrow through it? Kind of weird. Anti technology. Damn. Time to call in my hottie.

“Hey, doll-face, ready to work some magic for me?” “Challenge me, you beautiful behavioral analyst.” Rawr, I love you too so much.

“Morgan, challenge me. Doesn’t even raise my blood pressure.” Well, hot damn.

“My loony opposites.” LOL

“Disguised young guy went crazy on a bunch of computers at a science lab, screaming, ‘we will soon be the slaves and the machines will be the masters.’ Yikes. That would totally suck for me. I’m surrounded in here …” “Come one, what are you worried about? You got me to protect you.” “Now that gets my blood up.”

Mine too, girl.

Floppy disk bombs?

“Who uses floppy disks anymore?” “Right, agent Brain, that was the point of the attack.”

Oh my god, I love the dialogue in this episode so much.

And again, that skewered robot is cropping up. Damn.

F.F.T. Brigade. Sounds pretentious and really non professional. Allegro. Made up!

What! He just blew a bomb when they were on the phone with him? Damn.

He’s brazen.

So let me get this straight, he got the name from a book depicting the takeover of machines and robots over the earth. Where the robot who was originally a guy kills his mom? Or something like that? I’m confused.

And now, apparently, the target was some dude who works on creating artificial life forms? Damn.

And he’s a total douche.

The doc is friend with the author of ‘Empty Planet’ (which is a fictitious book in this series, I love it!) and turns out that David Hansberry is a pseudonym.

“Her name, you cute little chauvinist, is Ursula Kent.” Yup. She totally just schooled Derek’s ass. I love it!

“Oh you are the light of my life, sweet lady.” “Je suis toujours ici pour toi, mon cher.” “Drives me crazy when you speak that ‘voulez coucher’ stuff to me. Stop it! Au revoir, crazy girl.”  Oh my god, this little bit of dialogue just made me melt on the inside and that is something that is pretty hard to do considering I have copious amounts of fat in this lump of flesh. Lol.

Oh my god, Reid begins to explain what Dr. Cooke said and Gideon’s like, dude, I get it, don’t. I love this dynamic duo.

Goon squad? Did you just call my sweet cheeks a goon? Fuck you, Cooke!

“Ever talk to someone who wants to continually show you he’s smarter than you?” (Derek indicating Spencer) “Every day.” Hey, that’s not nice, baby. Play nice.

Spencer, you’re not helping yourself. Hahahaha oh my god I love those two.

Six? Did Reid just say he read a post-modern science-fiction novel at six? What? And did Derek just say he was still riding with training wheels when he was six? Oh my god, I just died from the cuteness.

It’ll take him 10 minutes to buy and read the book? What? He’s nuts.

………………………………………………………..

I’m sorry. I simply didn’t have the words to express what I was feeling the moment it happened.

Dr. Cooke’s car exploded when he was still in it.

I am writing as if I’m a robot right now. Because I am in shock. What the fuck did I just witness? Fuck you, loser.

Allegro. You fuckhead. I really hate you, you weirdo psycho.

Oh Reid, you clueless doodlebug.

What the fuck? Waterworks? Another bomb? Damn.

Well, a guy who has a very loose grip on reality will think a fantasy book is real. Yup. She just found out about Cooke.

Damn. At least they found the other bomb.

Another? What the fuck?

Wait. She has a necklace of the robot with an arrow through it? Oh my god.

Ooooh, if he’s pissing Derek, I don’t want to be in his shoes. Damn.

No one reads as fast as Reid. True.

Hahaha, she was just watching Reid like, what the fuck is this guy made of? Oh boy.

Wait. Another professor is being targeted? Oh no. Please. Save her. Please.

Thank goodness.

Shit. There’s a fucking bomb under her seat like Cooke’s. Fuck.

Let’s hope there’s no mercury.

What? Morgan is staying with this lady till they’re taking the bomb out and disposing of it? Oh my god, I love you Derek, but I am not ready to lose you just yet. Oh my goodness. I just fell in love. All over again.

And I know, I know Derek Morgan is a fictional character, you don’t have to explain that to me, I’m a highly-educated woman, with a bachelor’s from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem in English Literature and Linguistics, I understand there is a difference between fiction and reality; but you cannot tell me that when you watch this, you didn’t fall just that little bit more in love with Shemar and Derek.

Aww, Gideon is expressing the depth of his relationships with the team. I love you all.

Yes! She got the bomb safely! Thank the goodness of Derek’s heart. Fuck.

Wait. What? Oh I get it. They have to let him think that the whole thing was successful.

Hahahaha, Reid wanted another book. I love him.

“That was the only story I needed to tell.” That is a genius response, lady.

Wait. Is she not telling them something?

Kenneth Roberts? So she does have a student in mind.

What is going on here?

Why did she throw her book?

I don’t get it.

So I was right? Oh god. I thought I misunderstood him, but yikers.

The whole book is told from the mother’s point of view? Form Ursula’s?

So Allegro is eventually going to kill her? Oh god.

You know, he doesn’t seem that crazy right now.

Okay, now he looks dangerous.

Oh god. He is adopted and he thinks Ursula is his mom? But she gave up a baby for adoption! And he thinks he’s that baby? That was the inspiration for the book? Oh god.

Hey! Why did you hang up you crazy loon?

Oh god, he’s abducting her to finish his story? God. This guy is sick in the head.

She gave up a girl. It’s not him. It’s all for nothing. Damn.

Oh my god, he’s insane!

Oh god! He has a fucking bomb, and he’s gonna blow them both up if they do something sudden. God.

Sniper!

And she took it instead? What? Oh my god, what the fuck has she done?

Oh god, thank god it’s her shoulder. That sniper is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen in the FBI. I thought they had psych evals.

So JJ, Reid and Hotch are playing poker. Hotch goes off and tells them not to cheat, and immediately Reid looks at his cards. I love this show.

Hahahahahahhahaha

Oh my god I just died. So Reid is trying to romanticize science-fiction to JJ, and she’s like “Let me save you the time, Reid, I am never going to ComicCon with you.” Oh honey, why break my baby’s heart like that?

Gin!

She just won! Damn!

“Genius Dr. Reid let you win.” Uh huh.

Oh my god, so Derek knows what Gideon said about him? And now Gideon thinks Reid tattled, and he’s acting all innocent. I love Gubler beyond measure.

Gideon is really tough. On the outside. But on the inside he’s a mushy wittle teddy bear that I just want to squeeze and hug all the time.

God. They’re so tough on the outside that it’s hard to express emotions, and they’re so vulnerable at the same time and that’s what makes me love them even more. I love you guys so much!

 Okay, so this episode really played on my fangirl emotions. I mean, really. This was just beyond unfair. So they have science-fiction involved. They have COPIOUS amounts of Penelope and Derek flirting to the point that I think I might need to set an appointment with my dentist. They blow people up like it’s just another day at the office. They put my chocolate Adonis in harm’s way and make him a hero and make me melt like butter. They show Reid’s sassy side at Gin, and they show Gideon’s soft underbelly? I just can’t with these amazing writers and actors. I just fucking can’t.

God. This episode was amazing.

Really looking forward to the next one.

[l0vey-d0vey-moved]

Hey Sweat Pea! Do you have any nicknames you call your significant other? @alovesickdork

Sweet Pea grinned, placing a hand on his chin to lean on it,“I have a lot, actually.... I mostly call them ‘Babe’, but also ‘My love’, ‘Darling’, and ‘Sweet Pea’ just to fuck with them. You wouldn’t believe how flustered they get when they’re called ‘Love’.”

( @alovesickdork )

[mythyhuynh]

WOW! I’m grateful and amazed for yesterday’s turnout to my @mabelgraykitchen takeover! 🤗🙌🏻‼️ From the spring rolls to the Sweet & Sour Tamarind soup; the Fresh Spring Rolls to the Whole-fried Snapper with a pandan rice; YOU GUYS LOVED IT! I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to reply as we’ve been prepping for today and tomorrow. Here’s one of the most popular sellers! California Burrata with pea pesto and Chinese chili oil. It’s an homage Spring with Asian flavors and served with my OG fluffy Milk Bread. Thank you for practically selling this dish out! Doors open at 5p and we’ll see you soon! 😄 (at Mabel Gray) https://www.instagram.com/p/ByI9K-lj7w3/?igshid=7sf8pdmv58a5

[blackbrian6-blog]

Super Soy Me - North Bay Bohemian

Like any typical chump, I planned to start an ambitious new diet on New Year's Day. Fine, the day after New Year's Day.

The diet was strict, but had just one simple rule: Eat food, mostly frozen, as much as I want, on a $100 per week budget. And here's the kicker: Eat only food that's made by Amy's Kitchen, the privately held natural foods manufacturer based in Petaluma. Yes, it was a bold plan.

Day 1: I load a frozen, gluten-free tofu scramble breakfast wrap in the microwave oven, starting the day's calorie count at 300. At lunch it's a chili mac bowl, 420 calories, and later a spinach pizza pocket sandwich, 280 calories. Dinner brings a longtime favorite to the table; veggie loaf with mashed potatoes, peas and carrots. But those 340 calories don't feel like enough, so I round out the evening with a spinach pizza snack, and 380 additional calories.

Day 2: I'm a little hungover. Ugh, what happened?

The Perils of a Cruelty-Free Diet

I'm on this diet partly to see if man can live on Amy's alone. While it's a controlled experiment, it's not an inhumane experiment, so I did not forswear the enjoyment of a few glasses of wine with dinner, before dinner, or after dinner. Besides, eliminating the beverage variable might have skewed the results, right? Instead, I opt for certified organic wine, in the spirit of Amy's Kitchen, whose listed ingredients are nearly all prefaced with "organic," save the sea salt and black pepper.

The problem: after unpacking five frozen meals from five cardboard cartons, I'd only packed in 1,720 calories on that first day. No doubt the wine hit a little harder because that's well below the 2,000 daily calories that nutrition labels are based on, or the recommended 2,400 calorie diet of a moderately active male of my age, and weight.

Ah, that weight. The other reason for the diet was to lose a little of it. I demur from saying what that weight is, lest some readers then wish to knock me around a bit, but suffice it to say that I feel like the image of some kind of corpulent, late career Orson Welles. (More like Audrey Hepburn, remarked a more portly friend a few years back. That smarts a bit, but then again—such style!) What's that about body image self-acceptance? Stuff self-acceptance in a cheeseburger. I demand to get back that flat belly that I haven't seen since age 29, and I'll try any diet in that service. The allure of Amy's is the quick and easy calorie counting, printed right on the box, and de facto portion control. The convenience of simply reheating frozen food, too, leaves more time for that moderate activity.

Lesson learned, on to Day 2: Country bake breakfast, 420 calories; veggie sausage, 55 calories; brown rice and vegetables bowl, 260 calories; meatless Italian sausage, mushroom and olive pizza, 930 calories. Yes, I know the pizza is supposed to be three separate servings, but the day's total is only 1,665 calories. Yet I feel stuffed. Might be because I'm not used to consuming so many carbohydrates (see the surprise tally at the end of the article), and that's a criticism I've heard of products like Amy's: organic or not, isn't it too high in sodium, too stuffed with carbohydrates, like other processed snack foods? When I announced my dietary goal to someone at the company (who shan't be named), in fact, the response was: "But what about vegetables?"

In an era when consumers are being advised to eat whole foods, and lower on the food chain, Amy's occupies an interesting space in between the good reputation of organic foods and the bad rap on processed foods. Frozen foods have taken some heat since the "TV dinner" days of my childhood, when, notwithstanding mom's cooking being the best, it was a special treat to have those tin foil tray dinners once a week. Meanwhile, Amy's Kitchen, launched by Rachel and Andy Berliner in 1987 (the original conceit was that they couldn't find any time-saving convenience foods that were of homemade quality, after the birth of their daughter, Amy, who is now a co-owner in the company), has puffed up from one pot pie sold in what used to be called "health food" stores in Northern California and Oregon, to 260 products sold in megastores the likes of Target, in 29 countries. Revenue in 2017 totaled $500 million.

Can they stay true to home-cooked ideals at such a scale? I've got to get behind the kale curtain, and see how the organic tofu sausage is made.

Amy's, Can You Hear Me?

Day 3: I've had no luck trying to contact the public relations desk at Amy's, so, fueled only by their breakfast scramble, 360 calories, and veggie sausage, 55 calories, I set out by bicycle for the company headquarters in Petaluma. Am I helping to offset the carbon footprint of these packaged meals, or is their economy of scale inherently more efficient than my home stovetop? Will there someday be fewer veal crates, like the ones that I'm passing by on Stony Point Road, because of vegetarian options like Amy's provides? These are things I think of on my ride. Besides that biking in heavy traffic sucks veggie meatballs.

It wasn't enough. On Lakeville Highway, a few blocks short, and fatigued, I have to turn back or else miss the last SMART train back to Santa Rosa until late afternoon.

Breakthrough at the Drive-Thru

I get a new idea on the train, remembering the Amy's Drive-Thru restaurant in Rohnert Park. It's a long shot, but at the very least, after ordering a single veggie cheeseburger and fries (alas, I am not asked to "super-size" my order to the signature double patty "Amy" burger), I can ask for any kind of help at the register. I'm in luck—Dave Wolfgram, president of Amy's Drive-Thru Restaurants, is working on his laptop a few tables over. He seems genuinely concerned and promises to hook me up with HQ.

Although this joint is as bustling as it was on my first visit over three years ago ("Understanding Amy's," Sept. 9, 2015), Amy's has rolled out their takeover of the fast food nation at, well, an organic pace. An outpost in SFO (Amy's "fly-thru"?) is scheduled for July, with a Corte Madera drive-thru opening in 2020.

How the Organic Tofu Sausage is Made

I'm in! I meet Paul Schiefer for a tour of Amy's flagship production facility, which has been located on Santa Rosa's Northpoint Parkway since the early days. Schiefer, who is a nephew to the Berliners, grew up with the business, and is now senior director of sustainability.

On the way to the dressing room where I'll don a smock, hairnet and beard net, I'm already distracted by a novel sight: two vending machines in the break room are stocked with Amy's entrées. They're sold to employees for just $1 to $1.50. But the Blue Sky organic cola in the adjacent vending machine, Schiefer admits, isn't as popular with employees as Pepsi. No strict diets here: there's a Frito-Lay option, too.

Workers are everywhere on the plant floor, monitoring computer screens, carting multi-level tray carts here and there. Look, there goes my old friend, the lentil loaf! Over there, veggie sausage, destined for a country bake. In one room, which is as big as most winery cellars I see, pinto beans cascade in an industrial waterfall, while a worker tends to a steaming kettle perched high in the middle distance.

A smaller room houses one of the largest tofu-making facilities on the West Coast, according to Schiefer. Here are whole soybeans, soaked and removed of fiber, which goes to a dairy. Then, hot soy milk pours forth, and further down the line, blocks of fresh tofu, some 9,400 pounds per day, are cut and sent on to their rendezvous with organic oats, organic bulgar wheat and organic onions and more to, yes, make the tofu sausage.

On the kettle deck, an enchilada sauce has just been made—we see it later on down the line, where freshly frozen entreés clank off the conveyor belt. Tomato sauces are made from fresh tomatoes. Vegetables such as broccoli may be fresh, or flash frozen, since there are only two harvests a year from their supplier. "We'd rather get it all fresh, in season, than go to the ends of the earth to bring it in," says Schiefer.

In the burrito room, bean and cheese filling plops onto tortillas, made fresh in the room next door, in a way that my minder from the marketing department doesn't wish me to photograph. But it's all hand work after that. One employee tells me, still folding while turning away from the assembly line to explain, that she's been honing her technique for 21 years, shaping the filling, and folding six or more ways in a flash of hand movements I can hardly follow.

One thinks of frozen foods as the ultimate deracinated, non-local product. But here, I have the dissonant revelation that, at least for the North Bay, this is truly local. All this time, my frozen bean burrito (and another 160,000 of them per day) has been hand-rolled just across town. (Soups are made in Idaho, however; pizza in Medford, Ore.)

The Results

At the end of a week, I had to stop the experiment. Not necessarily because I felt "over stuffed" on just 1,940 calories, as I noted on Day 6, or "strangely tired" on Day 7. My weight jumped up at first, but I ended up a few pounds lighter. Still, I would have been willing to carry out a more rigorous one-month experiment. But if I didn't bust my waistline, I busted my budget: $140 for seven days.

I should note that the company does not endorse an all-Amy's diet. Instead, they offer meal plans on their website incorporating fresh fruits and vegetables, nuts and smoothies, most with just one Amy's product per day. That said, I felt that I might have had a real serving of veggies with their Asian-inspired entrées, like the dumplings in savory Hoisin sauce, and for a frozen food, they tasted fresh enough. And in the harvest casserole bowl, there's surely close to a half-cup of sweet potatoes, kale and Swiss chard—it'd be hard to excuse all that quinoa otherwise.

According to Schiefer, I'm correct in my assessment that while the frozen food business is stagnant in general, Amy's is bucking the trend, and has been growing faster than the category for years. Still, some of the traditional tray-style dinner styles have been pulled off the line: RIP, Southern meal, chili and corn bread, and good ol' veggie steak and gravy.

All told, I ate not more than 1,700 calories per day. The protein count averaged 67 grams daily — not bad — and carbohydrates actually averaged less than the Daily Value, at 200. But sodium indeed hit more than 3,200 milligrams per day, higher than the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's recommendation of less than 2,400, but a little under the average American's intake. Amy's does offer low sodium versions with less than half that of the typical entrée.

The next week I flipped a 180 and launched an ultra-low-carb diet of meat, cheese and vegetables for the next month. I felt pretty good on it. And I gained back five pounds.

Source: https://www.bohemian.com/northbay/super-soy-me/Content?oid=8755813

[kpopyourcherryy]

This is my first daddy takeover and I'm excited!!

Not long to wait sweet pea ~Tashee 💙