#swear i didn't cheat with 7-8 😂

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Tuesday, November 21st, 2023

6:30am I am having racing thoughts and would like them to stop. I am trying to fall back asleep and it's really hard. I'm nervous about tomorrow but I don't want to be nervous! I have not done anything wrong, I am only doing what feels right to me. I just need to take a deep breath and keep drinking water.

6:42am I just have to stay in the present moment. I just drank some water and I want to feel better physically. No more being dehydrated and tense.

7:00am I miss talking to him and I wish he would call me, lol I might just call him later idk

8:39am trying to stay hydrated but I just keep getting up to pee jfc 😂 too lazy to be hydrated fr

I want to keep working on myself and I want to stay true to who I am. I don't want to have to edit myself around people, especially the ones I love ❤️ just be yourself and clearly they can all make their own decisions (you can't control other people's decisions so please stop trying) ❤️

9:28am ok so I called him bc I was bored lol and woke him up out of his sleep oops lol even though I've been up for 4 hrs already today 👀 we spoke for like 5 minutes before he told me he's stressed about his $300 phone bill 😶 yeaaaaa buddy I didn't like paying that shit while you were cheating on me and taking me for granted so oops! It's so crazy how he legit had no idea how stressful bills were because I paid everything and never let him worry about shit. Don't come asking me for it though bc I got $1200 in rent to pay buddy so yeah wow that was honestly what I needed to hear this morning. This mf got a dumbass job and his whole check is not even enough to pay a $300 bill. Wtf I can'tttt. I swear I am 100% hustle and it's like he was born yesterday like ain't no $300 bill sneaking up on me!! He didn't even know either?? Wtf aaaaaa he didn't realize how much I was paying out of my own damn pocket just for him to text other girls smh gtfo with that bum shit bro. Like I love you but damn I can't live with that shitttttt ahahahaha

[lokisprettygirl]

The Night Screams at The Slumber Island (Loki x Female Reader) (Horror Romance) (Dark) (Au) (18+)

Read Chapter 7 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 8

Summary : If your neighbour doesn't really exist for the world then who's the man you have come to know of? What is he?

Warning: discussion of rape, sexual abuse, gaslighting, cheating, discussion of mental illness, therapy please read carefully. If something triggers you please don't read it. Take a shot everytime the word hallucination comes across 😂

Next morning you woke up and felt good for a change, you knew in your heart that the conversation had changed your equation with him. The way he hugged you and comforted you was surreal, you wanted to feel him again, you wanted to touch him and hold him again. He felt so safe and a part of you knew he didn't want to hurt you. You opened the main door and found the grocery bags he had left for you so you picked it up and kept it inside , you wanted to thank him for last night but you figured you'd do it after work.

You just didn't know that you won't find him again.

How could it be possible? He was there, you saw him, you talked to him and you touched him. How could you hallucinate all that?

"You said his house was right here?" Clint asked you, he was standing on the spot where your neighbor used to sit on his porch and read. You sat next to him that day then how could he not be real?

"Yes..I..I am not lying I just..I don't know" your eyes teared up and lips trembled as you spoke. He was there last night, you told him everything about yourself and he was there to comfort you.

"There hasn't been any house built here ever as per our knowledge and we have lived here all our lives"

Phil said and you suddenly realized that you were surrounded by a group of men you didn't trust at all. You remembered your realtor Tony telling you there wasn't any other property in one mile distance so he wasn't lying it seems.

"But I have been eating and he brought me food and he.."

"Who did that?" Steve asked you and you placed your hands over your temples

"Loki ..his name is Loki..I saw him I swear to god I saw him everyday since I came here" they all sighed in unison and you noticed Phil saw something behind you and they quickly left after that. Did they see Minola? Did she even exist or you made that up too? You went inside and called Stephen, you could tell that he was worried about the situation

"Y/n, calm down and tell me the first moment you saw this person Loki" he asked you and you wiped your tears before you spoke,

"The first day when I got here he helped me take my bags inside the house"

"Did he tell you anything about himself?"

"He said he was a musician, and that he wanted to explore life that's why he was here" you sobbed and he asked you to calm down again.

"Anything else that stood out?"

You told him everything you noticed about him, the wifebeater, the sandalwood fragrance, him smoking, how he looked, you told him that you saw him in the market and the fest as well.

"Did you see him talking to anyone there?"

"I uhh..I --" you tried to remember and you realized that you haven't seen him talking to anyone even once. It was as if they couldn't even see him.

"Y/n I need you to listen to me. We pass by several different faces everyday and our conscious mind can't retain every information but our subconscious mind does, that's why we see people in our dreams that we have never met before..have you been taking your medicine as per the prescription? " you didn't want to lie to him so you told him the truth.

"I just..just for two nights here I took extra sleeping pills but that was it"

"I advised you to not do that. You probably saw this person at some point in your life, the sandalwood essence was engraved in your mind because of your mother and the cigarette smoking as well, am I wrong?"

"Nooo"

"And his name was Loki? The god your mother worshipped?" He asked you and you answered in yes. He was trying to tell you that you had built him up the way you wanted in your head. You felt crazy and out of your mind. He told you to calm down and see him next month, he also asked you to get proper sleep as if that would make everything better. You hung up soon after as you couldn't take this anymore. What even was happening?

"How could I hallucinate you loki. .you were here..you were right here" you sobbed as you sat down on the couch, were you really losing your mind? Were they all right about you? Were you sick and making things up from the beginning? Since the accident?

You opened the door and looked at the empty space where his home should have been, you walked towards the vacant spot and your knees collapsed because you felt so scared out of your mind and so lonely. Since you met him, in just a matter of few days you had started to feel so close to him and he felt safe, he felt like a friend. Stephen told you that it was your need to build a pure connection like that again in your life that was manifesting into this delusion.

But you had hugged him and held his hand and you felt his touch. He felt real, he felt human.

"Ohhh ohhh God Lokii please come back..I can't ..I can't" you laid down on the ground as you couldn't stop sobbing and it was getting harder to breathe with every second. You didn't even remember passing out there but when you opened your eyes you found yourself in your bed again. How did you get here? Why didn't you remember anything?

You quickly got out of the bed to check the grocery bags and you felt so scared that you won't find them there but to your surprise you did find them. It had the regular fruits and vegetables that he had gotten for you in the past week.

"I am not crazy..I am not crazy..I can't be crazy" you mumbled to yourself and walked towards the door, you shoved the curtain aside and there it was.

His house all lit up like it always used to be.

You gasped as you processed the information, it wasn't there when they came to check on him, he wasn't there when you broke down and passed out on the ground then how were you seeing it again? You called Stephen again but his number was unreachable. You pinched yourself to confirm whether you were still asleep or not.

Then you got up and opened the main door to confront him, but you took a step back as he did the same, your eyes met with him and he was in his usual attire. You knew this was not in your head, because if it was then you really needed more help than just therapy.

"I can explain darling" he mumbled softly and hearing his voice made you sob again, he walked towards you but you closed the door immediately and locked it. You heard him knocking but you placed your hands on your ears. What if you're hallucinating? You couldn't afford to lose him again. Even if he wasn't real, he was real for you.

"They tell me you don't exist..that I made you up..that you..you are not real" you sobbed with every word you spoke and that broke his heart, he knew this day would come and he wanted to tell you the truth but he knew that won't help you.

"I am here darling, you have seen me and you have touched me, I'm real as long as you believe in me and you believed in me even when you thought you didn't"

You opened the door and you saw him standing there, his eyes were teary. How could you hallucinate someone caring for you? Were you really that desperate?

"This morning I didn't see you, they didn't either, the house was gone, you didnt exist" you mumbled as you crossed your arms but he grabbed your hand and his touch made you gasp, he placed your hand on his chest, right where his heart should be and you felt it beating so fast in there.

"You feel me don't you?" He asked you and pulled you closer to him, you could smell his cologne and you could feel his warmth surrounding you again.

"But they…they said that you're not real" you sounded like a broken record and seemed like an innocent child but you couldn't help it, you were at the edge of losing your complete sanity.

"I am here..look at me, look me in the eyes love, you have me, you have me little one..you have me I promise, I told you I'd never lie to you" And he didn't. He just hid the part of the truth.

"You exist?" Your lips trembled as you spoke and he brushed his thumb over them to stop them from twitching.

"I exist for you..yes" He cupped your cheeks as he whispered softly so you grabbed the collar of his shirt and dragged him inside, pressing him against the door you got on your tiptoes and he wasn't ready for you to kiss him like that, the moment he felt your lips on his he moaned, he wanted to touch you, caress your back but he had to be careful, he didn't want to startle you or make you panic again.

You cupped his cheeks as the kiss heated up, he kept his hands to himself as you kissed him the way you wanted to kiss him.

When you realized what you were doing you quickly pulled away and took two steps backwards. He looked at you curiously, his lips were moist and plump, his breathing went erratic and his cheeks seemed rosy pink.

"I am sorry" you mumbled as your eyes teared up, the awful images of him on top of you flashed through your head, the moment you had opened your eyes and found him forcing himself on you, you knew your life would never be same again. You knew sexual and physical intimacy would never feel the way it used to before. You knew you'd never allow a man to dominate you or be on top of you in such close proximity..

You snapped out of your thoughts as you realized that you had bigger problems to worry about, the major being the possibility that the object of your fascination didn't even exist in reality, that he might just have been a figment of your imagination.

"Are you a ghost?" You asked him and he smiled as he looked down then he looked at you again.

"I don't think a ghost can be kissed with such a burning passion, they're dead darling, I am not" he mumbled and you hummed in response, trying to make sense of his words "You don't believe in Ghosts, Angels and Gods right?" He asked you and you looked at him confused, "Maybe I will change your perception"

"So you're an angel?" You chuckled but it wasn't a chuckle of amusement but more of frustration. What was your life now?

"Nooooo..bless the norns..they are infuriating" he chuckled again and you tilted your head but what he said next did make you question your existence and you couldn't help but wonder if you were even alive because if you were and all of this was real then you were in to hear the shocking truth about the reality of the world.

"I am Loki..the god your mother worshiped all her life, that's why I'm here..I'm here for you. She prayed to me and I answered her prayers"

���👀👀💀💀❤️❤️💀💀👀👀👀

Note : Sometimes truth is simpler and hiding in the plain sight.

Taglist @mcufan72    @stupidthoughtsinwriting    @fraoid3    @wheredafandomat    @michelleleewise    @daddylokisqueen    @123forgottherest    @usagishira    @elegantcheesecakecrown    @sashas-recs    @lukira1337    @vickie5446    @spageddyhoes    @witchypandamonium    @javagirl328    @slpnbty2001 @mochi661 @lovingchoices14    @annoyingsweetsstranger    @army24--7     @el-zef    @asgardianprincess1050    @loz-3 @whylokiissocute @holotacopeely    @thomase1    @daggers-and-mischief    @constablewafflebottom    @marvel-love24  @crimson25    @laliceee

[donaidk]

I was tagged by @formationlapsz, thank you 🧡🤗

You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. Put your favourite playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs then tag ten people (or as many as you wish)!

1. Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys

2. Don't Say You Do - Lola Blanc

3. Little Poor Me - Layto

4. How Low Can You Go - LP

5. Pinky Promise - Ellise

6. Zombie Love - Bohnes

7. Chosen Family - Rina Sawayama ft. Elton John

8. Comme Des Garcons - Rina Sawayama

9. magnum opus - NUVILICES

10. Giants - Neoni

I'm gonna tag @x-lipstickstain-x, @formulola, @georgeinamerc, @holymacncheeseballs, @landonorrisgeorgerussell and @tittipaldi 😌 But no pressure of course! 🧡