#swaggypsyduck storytime

[swaggypsyduck]

i think my hatred for france nt started when my parents wouldn't let me have a zidane jersey bc: "there's no way we're supporting that country in our house"

"but he's algerian no?"

"yes, but he plays for france."

"but what if he played for algeria?"

"then you wouldn't even have to ask we'd already have a jersey here."

anyways look who's parents lied about sending their letter:

[swaggypsyduck]

Story Time!

so i was talking w my dad about football at post iftar coffee and somehow we started talking about footy crushes and i said how i liked ramos and he goes "ah ur second favourite defender." and i go "huh???"

and so he says "u probably don't remember bc u were very little but u loved watching maldini play on the tv. u clapped everytime he tackled someone. we dont know how u knew it was him everytime, but u did". and he's right i dont remember any of this. he then showed me pictures of me in a tiny ac milan jersey w "maldini 3" on the back that my uncles got me as a joke. i thought i saw all my baby pics but apparently not. so what i learned today is that even as a baby/toddler i liked aggressive defending🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏽‍♀️. and EVERYONE in my family knew except me...

baby me had taste tho bc look at this man:

[swaggypsyduck]

Long Post

So... we all saw the news that Sergio Ramos was forcefully retired from the spanish nt. I know I've told this kinda story before but I don't remember if I have on a proper post.

Before 2010 the only time I ever cared about football was how long I got to play it at lunch time at school and the world cup. My dad kept up with club football but he was never fully into it. He grew up in Casablanca where he saw what Rajah fc vs Wydad fc fights did to people and their relationships so he was already kinda against it in the first place.

When the 2010 wc happened I remember 4 things very clearly: 1. Hearing my dad complain about the noise makers 2. Suarez's hand-ball 3. Kaka's unjust red card and 4. Sergio Ramos in the final nearly scoring and the keeper saving it.

Funnily enough I had been cheering for the Netherlands that world cup bc I liked their orange jerseys lol. A very 9yrld mentality I know. But when I saw sergio it was like a switch flipped. I asked my dad who he was my dad couldn't answer bc like I said above he only kept up with scores and I don't remember hearing his name.

As a 9yrld I had limited internet access (go parents!) and no footy friends so I resigned myself to seeing him in the next wc.

That is until school started again and I was surrounded by the the messi&ronaldo debate yet again. Y'all are gonna make fun of me for this next part but adhd works in mysterious ways. can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday but I remember the exact date, time, and computer where I found this out.

There were only 2 madrid fans in my class and during computer class free-time they were watching some madrid highlights. At first I was with the rest of the class watching Ronaldinho do what the wizard does best but they looked kinda lonely so I went over to check on them. I peered over their shoulders and right there in the middle of the old dell monitor was him. Sergio Ramos, in his natural element, arguing a yellow card with the ref.

"Who is that?!" I remember trying to keep my voice calm but even I heard the frantic desperation.

They turned towards me w looks of confusion, "You mean this guy?"

"Uh, yah? He played in the world cup right?"

"He did," one of them turns and pauses the screen as ramos walks away.

There it was: Sergio Ramos 4

I remember bits and pieces of conversation after that but when I got home I used my limited internet access to search up everything about him. Then I found out Kaka was in Real Madrid too and that was wraps. I remember trying to talk about it once at dinner with my dad after I found out Zidane played for Madrid and he looked at me with this fear in his eyes. I immediately knew that club football was not like books and was not gonna be an encouraged topic for me. I instead asked to start playing it in a team, that I chose to be in defensive positions because of Ramos.

Sergio Ramos will never see this, he'll never know I exist but I ever tell a rich white athlete how much they mean to me it would be him.

With a post like this.

p.s. excuse any typos my hands were shaking trying to get this out coherently.

[swaggypsyduck]

i will never forget when i was at a beach party in morocco and a cute guy told me he was a tattoo artist so i asked where his tattoos were and he says "an artist paints on a canvas not himself"

and all i could say in response was "did u practice that line in the mirror?"

safe to say he got big mad lol💀💀

[swaggypsyduck]

Story Time pt.2

okay so my dad left for fajr and this is a more detailed version of the story from my mom. so apparently not only did violence on the pitch calm me down but i was a PROP in prank war between my uncles and my grandpa.

they heard from my mom that i kept watching maldini recordings on the tv and when they came back from italy (one was studying and the other was visiting) they brought the ac milan shirt to gift me and anger my grandpa who apparently thought i just liked watching football w him and was confused as to why i was clapping at the wrong parts. he's an inter fan so the "wrong parts" were when maldini tackled his players. so yah there's a picture sitting on the table of me lying on top of my grandpa in a lil ac milan shirt and him disgruntled in his inter milan kit.

my grandpa got me a tiny inter shirt too bc he was salty lololol. but he still has those pictures so i haven't seen them yet. next time inshallah i will.

MAN I MISS MY FAMILY SO MUCH😭😭😭. I DONT REMEMBER THIS BUT NOW I WANNA CRY. WHY AM I CRYING OVER THIS???

[swaggypsyduck]

Story Time(?)

to preface this i'm not posting pics of myself in my old ugly ass soccer football kit so yah, anyways!

a little about my relationship w the sport:

as a moroccan-canadian, who's whole life was defined by watching my dad play w all the other 3amous of the masjid every sunday night, football was my life. most of my summers were spent listening to cousins who were constantly fighting about raja and wydad while i sat on the sidelines waiting for them to throw the ball in. and most of my classmates made every discussion about el classico matches. i only actually played football w a team from the ages of 11-15 (not long ik) where i had to stop bc of school and other extra curriculars.

some funny/embarrassing things about this time:

1. i had always been playing in elementary school but not w a proper team. just w my classmates. except for our school's yearly world cup and sister school tournies: in which i apparently had a reputation in, bc most ppl i meet from that time remembered me by the fact i carried my class' girl's team LOL. like my friend who just moved from iraq got married to a guy a year older and on the phone he heard she was talking to me. when she mentioned who i was he went "the one who kept beating my grade right?" i died of embarrassment a little bc holy shit pls forget i existed before the age of 18. i spawned a fully formed human.

2. i played mostly right back! which is why i love defensive players so much. i originally wanted to be a goalie, bc i have so much respect for the position, but the coach took one look at me and went "absolutely not lol". also fuck who ever said defenders are lazy bc my lefty bestie and i ran the most every game. if anything strikers r the lazy ones. which is funny bc they put me on as a striker at first bc i was fast and short, then they realized im shit at finishing LMAOOO 💀💀. i also played defensive midfielder when ours was out on injury.

3. in my team i was the 2nd most carded player. which makes perfect sense when u realize i started club football bc of sergio ramos

4. the first romantic confession i ever received was from our goalie. she was a year older and i had no idea what a date was so i brought her dates (the fruit) to the next practice. she just laughed when i did, said thank you, and never brought it up again. i didn't realize till i saw her in highschool waayyyy later when she introduced me to her girlfriend.

5. my first red card was when i tried to implement a karate take down in my tackle bc i was watching a cartoon where it happened.

6. i somehow miraculously never had a more serious injury than a twisted ankle. no one knows how. it is still a mystery. even in karate tournies ive never been more injured than a slight concussion.

[swaggypsyduck]

the music tag game reminded me that one guy thought i was a toxic muscle bro bc my friend just showed him my gym playlist and not pictures of me bc she didn't have any yet on her new phone. so when we met for the first time it was a surprise to him bc at lunch he was like "so when's ur bf coming?"

"what bf??"

"like when is *my name* coming or is he just late?"

"but im *my name*"

"...oh."