#sventeen-daybreak

[lovelybarnes]

berlin- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader

warnings: mentions of blood and dying, fighting, weapons, avengers stuff, it’s not fluff

about: a challenge “berlin in the cold/ all that fighting/ all that snow” for @sventeen-daybreak

a/n: i hope this is good! it’s only 1k words or so, so i hope that’s enough lol i'm also so sorry for any mistakes, after reading it for like the third time, every word i read was just horrible so i stopped reading lmao

also i am currently working on the loki part 2, so i'm hoping it'll be out by thursday (aka my normal posting day)

"berlin in the cold,"

the cold air is nipping at your uncovered skin, numbing your nose and your cheeks, but you don’t seem to notice. your evening breaths are visible, swirling in front of you as white puffs. your fingers are tapping slowly against the leg of your suit, staining the color with the dark red on your fingers. you can still feel the wound they pressed on, the thick vermillion coating your fingers while you struggled to keep it in. you can still hear the whimpers and the screams, and the eyes that stared up at you, pleading for you to do something you were unable to.

the snow you’re standing in is pure white, a stark contrast to the carmine colored you can still see. very little of it is yours, but it’s a meaningless comfort with the reminder of the pain heavy, and it’s barely noticeable that the avengers came to help with so much death.

your legs still ache from the excessive use, thighs sore from squeezing heads so hard, the bodies belonging to them fall to the ground; dead or passed out, you didn’t bother to tell because you’d cracked their necks already. the weapons you used sit uselessly in the pockets of your suit: bloodied or chipped knives, broken tasers, and guns emptied of ammo.

you can still see the bodies, both human and alien, and a few in between, strewn across the white, but your face remains expressionless, the hate for the things that caused the destruction loud and clear as it runs in your blood, making your fingers reach out to take the lives you’ve already taken, not that you’d be able to with how exhausted you are now. the evidence of that, though, is nonexistent, and will be until you’re in the compound, free to pass out as you please in the confines of your own bed.

the presence behind you- familiar and comforting, a striking change from the ones you’d been encountering for the last hours- gently reminds you it isn’t your bed only anymore, but yours and bucky’s to share. the thought draws a relaxing sheen over your thoughts, the thought of hands and touches that don’t bring with them murderous intent a large enough relief to let your shoulders drop a little.

just a little, though, because even if you close your eyes, the metallic smell of blood remains, burning in your nose, appearing on your tongue, and the still bodies are still there, all life drained away.

“you’re cold,” bucky says quietly, and you don’t mind it; his voice is always soft, gravelly in a way that should shatter the war-ridden silence, but it doesn’t, only makes it tremble, as if he’s handling it with the same tender hands he handles you with- only light touches, as if you aren’t the opposite of the most delicate thing in the world.

you don’t respond, but you don’t need to, bucky has already slipped his arms from the coat you made him take, draping it over your shoulders. the only reason he doesn’t turn you around and puts it on you correctly is the eerie silence there rarely is when you’re around him, and the complete lack of your touch. you’re always at his side, hidden under his arm while you ask him if he’s okay because you always are.

you aren’t this time, he recognizes, watching you absentmindedly scratch at the dried blood on your thumb, the red speckles harshly interrupting the bright white as they land. “i don’t understand why they came here like that.” you think out loud, voice soft yet cracked. you mean suddenly, without the warning usually given and taken advantage of by arriving earlier, stopping most of the chaos and coldblooded murder.

“they’re aliens,” bucky points out dumbly, because he doesn’t know what else to say. he doesn’t understand either. this is something he asks you, and you answer with something true and honest because that’s what you are. you blink, not moving from the place you stand, watching the ruins of what was once a home. “but if we got here sooner-”

“you know what thinking like that does,” bucky interrupts carefully, and you do. you’ve seen the tears that tinge his eyes red and roll down his cheeks, the nightmares that limit his rest to only a few hours. yet, you can still only remember the little girl, whose blood possibly wouldn’t be caked on your hands if you’d gotten here earlier.

she was so little, you think, sniffling. “you’re cold,” bucky repeats, attempting to ease you into the quinjet where the rest of the avengers wait, friday doing her job stitching up natasha’s wounds. the stinging on your calf reminds you that you should probably be there too, but you remain still. “it was so pretty here,” you whisper, remnants of the place it used to be still floating in the air like a shadow. you wanted to take bucky here one day, show him how beautiful the cold could be; but the scarlet covering hides the beautiful, the bodies smearing the illusion, only confirming bucky’s views.

the snowflakes that fall from the sky mask the devastation with a sheen of peace, landing gently in yours and bucky’s hair in a way that makes him look angelic. it’s nearly ironic, with his gun shoved in his holster, bloodied and used. he’s still on your side, bright blue eyes staying frozen on you.

you’re standing in snow up to your knees, the ice unkind to your raw skin. the flakes only continue to fall, and you know that everything you can see will be covered by a new layer by tomorrow. it makes you upset, hand curling into a tight fist, sticky with blood. “why hasn’t anyone picked them up?” you ask.

“too much snow. shield didn’t have enough manpower to get them all,” bucky replies, staring at the alien carcasses that remain, shriveled and ugly, one caught in mid scream. you shake your head, “i don’t mean that,” you state, voice slightly raising, nearly breaking your facade. “i mean them, they don’t deserve to- to lie there with their murderers.”

“y/n…” bucky begins, your breathing catches, murmuring a no under your breath, “they didn’t deserve for their last memories to be fighting. they don’t deserve to be buried under so much snow.”

you turn to bucky, finally moving. “they didn’t deserve that.”

“i know,” he responds, voice hushed while he comes closer to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and waist. “i couldn’t help them,” you snivel, letting yourself fall against bucky completely until he’s practically carrying you, his body enveloping yours till you aren’t visible anymore, safe in his embrace.

“you did everything you could, you helped so many people,” bucky murmurs, pressing his lips against the crown of your head, “not enough,” you counter, cold tears bleeding into his shoulder. “so much, y/n. people are alive because of you.”

your arms finally go around his back, pulling him closer, “then why does it feel like i did nothing?” bucky shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut at the sound of your broken words. he didn’t know how to make this better. seeing you cry was new to him, it was always you comforting him, hugging him tightly and whispering loving words in his ear until he calmed down and clung to you as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“you did everything you could,” he repeats quietly, rubbing small circles on your back. “i really hate being an avenger sometimes,” you mumble into the ripped material of his suit. “i know. i do too,” he nods, kissing your head repeatedly. his body heat is melting the cold off of yours with each second that passes by. if you close your eyes, you can pretend you aren’t where you are, and the liquid coating your fingers isn’t what it is, but something less gory. not a heavy reminder of what happened.

“i don’t want to be here anymore,” you start, “i want to go home with you and never see anything like this again.” your words are unrealistic, and both you and bucky know that, but he nods anyway, pulling away from you and tugging the coat tighter around your body.

you walk next to him towards the quinjet, the snow you used to love stained with the ghost of the decimation that had just taken place.

"all that fighting; all that snow."

[marvelsbanner]

honey, lemon, and rose water for the sheet mask asks!! congrats on 500 followers, angel!! 💛

thank you so much lovely ☺️

honey: describe one of the best days of your life

i was in france, that day we were visiting versailles palace. i looked out the window and it was snowing, i had never seen snow before. the whole atmosphere was magical. we walked around the gardens as it flurried around us, the flowers weren’t in bloom but nonetheless it was gorgeous. i think we got hot chocolate to warm us up. that night we walked up to montmarte, it was dark and we were tired but we were throwing snowballs at eachother like giddy little kids. i don’t think my smile left my face the entire day.

lemon: do you have any annoying habits? what are they?

i constantly shake my leg when i sit, and i fidget and shift a lot in general. i’m also awful at answering my phone. i’ll send a message and then throw my phone to the side and my friends get aggravated but have come to expect it

rose water: if you could see love, what would it look like? describe love in terms of aesthetic (butterflies, stars, rainbows, etc).

Love is a stream of golden light blinding your vision. To me, love is bright and golden and sparkling. It’s soft-looking hands and softer looking lips and wide, toothy grins because you can’t stop smiling at each other

come celebrate!

[harrysthiccthighss]

omg not armie hammer fbskdjskdjdkdn 😭

KSKSKAKALSS PLSSSSSSS ITS THE ONLY THING I COULD THINK OF😂😂😂😂😂💀💀

The fact that you've got 2 anons telling you they've bit seb and Chris seems a little sus, they've got to be related to armie 💀

[saturnisfilledwithbees]

bubbles & warning for the spring asks?

Bubbles: Do you like bubble tea?

I love bubble tea/boba, but I really prefer the fruit kinds or the ones with the popping boba! 

Warning: What would your warning label say?

Radioactive

[emwritesstuff]

Freeze! ✧ ─=≡Σ((( つ•̀ω•́)つ You’re under arrest for being so lovely. Copy this message to 10 other blogs that you think are beautiful and deserve it. Keep the game going and make others feel beautiful!

me logging in to this

dev you are the best!!!!! 💓💓💓

[mickey-henry]

Omg the new theme is so nice!!!! 💓

DEV🥺💖 thank you so much!! 🥰

[marvelousescapism]

hi, evie!! hope you’re having a lovely day/evening 💓

hi darling devon 🥰🥰 i’m not too bad ty, i hope you’re good!!!

looking forward to your sam fic btw 👀👀 (take me seaside killed me!!!!!)

[chanxyeollie]

💌 send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome 💌

omg pls STOP before i cry!! ✋😭 i know we haven’t been mutuals for long but you are literally my FAVE ��💞💓💗💖💘💝

[azaleavi]

10 and 26 for the soft asks? 💓

hey angel thank you for asking 💖 I hope you have a good day

10. what's something you are excited for?

I'm excited for finally finishing university and moving away to get another degree in whatever I want

26. what movie would you want to live in?

well, that's a tough question lol

any Marvel movie would be pretty dope (because Bucky Barnes would exist duh) or a Transformers movie because I would love to see those big autobots come to life

Soft asks

[buckyschair]

☆ Put this star into the inbox of your favourite blogs. It’s time to spread positivity!

dev i’m so heart eyes emoji rn <33

[bisxualbucky]

hi, hello renae 💓 ilysm!!!

here is a pic of me and my new office plant, Phoebe, to thank u for being so fcking sweet 😫💛

omg Devon 💓💖😍 bless you and Phoebe for brightening my day!!!!

[imaginearyparties]

hello, ilana 💓 I’m so sorry you’re having a rough time—here are some memes!!

THE WATERSLIDE AHHHHH

u are an angle for sending me memes today 📐

[marvelsbanner]

Could you pair me off with a guy 18+, if possible?? 🥺

I’m barely five feet tall with a top-heavy build (big ol’ boobies ftw). I’ve got long dark brown, wavy hair with bangs, gray eyes, and a handful of freckles. I typically wear glasses.

I’m quiet when I first meet someone, but once I feel comfortable, I never shut up. My mom told me that once I learned to talk, I never stopped—oops. I laugh easily and often, especially when I’m nervous, and I’m nervous pretty frequently. I’m friendly and approachable, a true diplomat, and I hate conflict. I have a strong sense of justice and morality, though, and sooner speak up for others than for myself. Hopefully, I’ll get into law school (fingers crossed!!) and become a lawyer someday in the near future.

I like reading and writing, watching movies (God, I miss movie theaters so much), playing video games, baking, and being outside on sunny, warm days. I love to travel, and I have an odd affinity for airports. I love rollercoasters and thrill rides, too. I guess I just love any sense of adventure? I also really love cats—especially very fat cats.

Thank you so much :’)

I ship you with: Steve Rogers!

Steve notices that you’re quiet and reserved at first, but once he breaks through that outer layer you talk to him about anything and everything. He thinks it’s cute when you’re nervous; he’ll tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear just to see you blush. He admires your senses of justice and morality, you two share that in common, that’s part of what makes you a perfect fit. He’s your biggest supporter when it comes to school and chasing your dream.

You guys would take long strolls in the park together, hand in hand on sunny days. He loves to read your writing, sometimes taking it with him on missions to read on the quinjet. You guys would watch a bunch of movies you insisted he needed to catch up on, and he listened because it was you. He would try to help you bake but it usually resulted in more flower getting onto him than in the bowl. You know he hates crowds, but he makes an exception for you to take you to an amusement park and the look on your face when you both get on the roller coaster is enough to make up for any of his anxiety. (He also wins you like 10 different stuffed animals from the mini games because he can’t help himself. Super-solider show off)

Marvel Ship Game

[emwritesstuff]

💌 send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome 💌

why are you the sweetest tho!!! ily 🥺🥺

[mickey-henry]

MEL — the divider on your new fic is so freaking CUTE 😭🥺 can’t wait to read it!!

thank you SOO much!! 🥰 @firefly-graphics has a sunshine themed divider post that I adore; shoutout to them for creating the lovely graphic!

also, I'm so excited for you to read my newest fic! I spend a ton of time on it; I hope you like it! (also I just remembered that you helped me with one of the first three paragraphs and I didn't mention it in my author's notes; my apologies! thank you for your help💖)

[marvelousescapism]

💌 send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome 💌

girl i was literally just about to send you one of these