#suspicious-whumping-egg

[brutal-nemesis]

hey wanna see some rocks

[lumpsbumpsandwhumps]

@suspicious-whumping-egg I think Tumblr ate your ask because I can only see it in my email but here's the bank robber fic (:

[strangeducks]

how did you make such good naan with the wemail recipe I must learn the ways of the gods 👀

Thank you for the kind words! It was actually my first time making flatbread so I wouldn’t consider myself a god among breadsmen by any means.

I followed the recipe in the post pretty much exactly. It really is that simple! The only change I made was adding a little olive oil into the dough.

I used Fage brand 5% milkfat Greek yogurt. I love this brand.

I also believe measuring by weight is the key to getting a perfect dough. Invest in a kitchen scale!

[andorshitdaily]

Vel! For most likely to succeed

Certainly succeeded at stealing my heart ☺️

[whumpitisthen]

hey love, as someone with a lot of religious trauma, auden's mindset is feeling a little familiar here... idk if you're writing this purely for fun or for catharsis (i've always been into whump, but i got into writing to vent out all the shitty trauma feelings) but if u need to talk my dms are open <333 can't wait to see what happens next in the series

Okay i thought this was gonna go in a different direction and i was already apologising for not tagging for fucky religious mindsets hhh i will do that now

But no don't worry about me this is purely for fun and because i wanna whump an angel boy, if anything, you saying that makes me a little giddy bc i managed to write something that resonates so deeply with someone, even if its a bit fucked that this is the way i managed to do that.l

Im glad you liked it, Ive been trying to make something bigger than one-shots and drabbles, so the horrible whumpy adventures of auden will return soonish for sure, im excited to share with people the vision ive come up with! He is sad and lonely and so so squeezable :3

[befuddled-calico-whump]

hi! add me to the test track masterlist?

You got it! :D

[worms-in-my-brain]

hey friend do you have any tips surrounding being physically disabled in college, getting around campus, etc? - chronicles-of-illness

Biggest for me would be to be upfront with your teachers and to register with accessibility services ASAP. I am a cane user (as opposed to using a larger aid such as a wheelchair or rollator) and can still go up stairs and I live very close to campus, so I will say that I haven’t encountered many issues on this front. I do have chronic fatigue issues, though, so the main thing for me is getting across campus if I have classes back-to-back, and what I do is just let the prof know on the first day so that if I’m late they know why. Or letting them know why I might seem tired in class/letting them know I’m disabled and may need extensions on some assignments. Or why you are absent if have any doctor’s appointments during class time.

I do tend to leave the house earlier than my roommate m, too. Just in case, y’know?

Also, for me, recorded lectures and online courses have been a bit of a godsend when it comes to days I’m too tired to leave the house.

Overall though I would make sure to contact your college or university—though many places are riddled with accessibility issues even when you are registered, it’s still helpful to accept all the help you get get, even if you never end up using your accommodations or just so happen to not be late for class more than average (in my case).

Hope this helps :)

[whumplr-reader]

I love the prompt you gave me and I might even end up making a WIP out of it my brain is going in excited circles

Oh wow. :blush:

Um, hopefully that was actually helpful, I was really trying to give you something you could dash off to fix the block. 😀😅

It's delightful. Marrow!!

[shoujoegg]

Hi if you have an soc art tag I’d love to be added 👀👀 your historical-influenced soc art is absolutely breathtaking

omfg calling my silly art historical-influenced is far too generous im just a dummy w/ a tablet grafting studies from my fave artists of the time!! but thank youuuuuu the cultural history student in me feels at once flattered n wholly undeserving but also v encouraged by ur comments 😭💖

i dont have an exclusive soc art tag but my general art tag is #qqart if that helps! im pretty much drawing exclusively soc fanart rn so it's pretty easy to go thru LMFAO

[plague-parade]

My grandmother who I got EDS from has a herniated disc rn and they might have to do the surgery on her. Shes tried the injections, which dont work for her, and is really scared of getting surgery but is also in too much pain to live with it. Would you say the surgery was worth it? What should I pass on to her? 

i think its definitely worth a try! my main surgery was a laminectomy, the discectomy was kind of secondary (they didnt really know it was that bad despite an MRI and a CT) if she has the option, definitely do it minimally invasive! its a much smaller incision, so if she has issues with wound healing its less wound to heal.

for me its helped my back pain SO much, not necessarily my hip/leg pain and weakness since that was unfortunately permanent nerve damage.

the recovery honestly isnt as bad as i was expecting, especially if they give you good pain meds! the most annoying thing is the movement restrictions during the six to eight week post op period.

[brutal-nemesis]

how would castys feel about getting his ribs pried out with a crowbar :)

I mean he would not enjoy it but i don't fucking care

He'd start screaming pretty early one, maybe one or two ribs in, but he'd still try to make snarky comments in between, so it's up to you whether you'd rather hear all of that or none of that 🤧

[newbornwhumperfly]

I love Morja— the perfect mix of defiance and terrified compliance is just beautiful and he’s so much fun 😌😌😌😌😌

i am legally obligated to inform you that my heart swells three sizes whenever someone praises my boy 🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖

[lumpsbumpsandwhumps]

uhh good old fashioned forced to kneel (maybe in front of a mafia boss after failing a job), maybe pistol whipping involved

hehehehehe

--

It was useless to struggle. You knew it was useless to struggle. You struggled many times in the past and had never been able to make the man budge once, so why you thought this time would be any different was wasted effort on your part. Still, you couldn't help the instinctual need to fight against the thick arm coiled around your waist that dragged you deeper into the underground vault.

I've gotten you approved for a transfer to one of our sister locations, your former manager said. It's in a higher end district so there's tighter safety measures in place, she said. You won't need to let that fear hold you back again, she said.

In her defense, she couldn't have possibly been able to be able to predict just two months later this bank would also be targeted. By the same group of men, no less. Well, you assumed they were the same, based off the similar physiques and coordinated masks. Skullface and his vintage Halloween counterparts were absent this time, instead being replaced with plastic faces of dog breeds. You were currently experiencing the joy yet again of being manhandled by Rottweiler and you had no doubt his bite would be worse than his bark.

As soon as you were escorted into the vault meant to store customers' safety deposit boxes, the arm hauling you along dropped to let you stumble. Thankfully, only your wrists were bound in zipties, leaving your wobbly legs to hightail it back towards the entrance before the collar of your shirt was seized. With a grunt, you were thrown against one of the metal tables, taking the brunt of the impact with your hip. You were caged in between thick limbs on either side, allowing the robber to crowd your space and practically swallow you whole with his massive build.

This close, you could smell the gunpowder and ash that clung to his jacket. Somewhere deep within the caverns of the mask's eyeholes, you might have been able to catch a wisp of pale lashes. But you weren't too concerned with that right now, not when you knew good and well that you had earned the ire of a dangerous man.

"What the fuck was that?" he hissed, having to lean down to accommodate for the difference in height. You could only curve your back so far against the blunt edge of the table to make distance.

Initially, you weren't going to give him the satisfaction of an answer. Not that you didn't want to, of course; a scathing fuck you burning on the tip of your tongue. You were smart enough to know that a tiger would only tolerate being poked so many times with a stick. The fact that you tried to sabotage the dye packs when his back was turned was more akin to jabbing a stick straight into its eye. It was a miracle you weren't shot dead then and there.

Your lack of response was grinding further on his nerves, made evident when his gloved hand grabbed you by the jaw. His fingers dug into the hollows of your cheeks, sure to leave little purple bruises around the outline of your teeth. The last time he held your face like this was to forcefully pucker your lips, now free of their gag, to share a mock kiss between you and the plastic mouth of his skull mask before your were shoved out of a moving getaway vehicle. A quick peck probably wasn't on his mind right now, though.

"No, really," he insisted with the same, clipped edge in his tone, "I want to know what the fuck was going on inside that empty little head of your's to think that was a good idea."

Even with your face being squeezed, you managed to talk around his fingers, hoping that your matching glare would make up for any slurred speech. "Would'a made y' eas'er t'catch."

Oh, if masks could speak, there was no doubt the Rottweiler sharing his face would be latching its teeth around your throat with a snarl. In fact, you almost thought that was what the criminal was rearing to do when he briefly freed you from your prison to straighten his stance. No sooner had those arms released you was one swinging down from your peripheral, too fast for you to consider dodging. The butt of his gun cracked against your cheekbone, your teeth cutting against your already bruising flesh and threatening to loosen from the gums completely.

The pain took a few seconds to register after the initial hit. For a moment, you worried that you had been shot rather than pistol whipped with how your vision flashed white and your were deafened by the ringing in your ears. A moment later and a fiery ache bloomed across the entire left side of your face. Pain throbbed with each heartbeat that echoed in your head, tingling from the roots of your teeth and the expanse of your lower jaw, only tapering out somewhat under your eye.

Blood welled on your tongue, thick and bitter, from a cut or something broken you couldn't be certain of yet. Not only had you been rendered speechless by the agony coursing red hot under your skin, but the knock to the head was more than enough to make your knees buckle in a dizzying daze. You tipped forward, almost about to faceplant right into Rottweiler's bulletproof vest, but instead he let you stumble hard onto your knees in front of him. Well, at least being on the partially on the floor meant you didn't have to mind where the glob of saliva and blood landed when you spat it out.

You couldn't help but groan, not sure if your swollen tongue would be able to make anything else coherent enough. What was there to say, anyways? More taunts, a string of expletives, apologies meant to plead for forgiveness? There was nothing you could think of with how your thoughts were too rattled in your brain. Nothing worth the pain of opening and closing your mouth with cracked teeth, that is.

Leather fingers buried themselves deep in your hair, grasping at the roots to ensure a tight hold when they yanked your head up and back. You gasped, a sudden wave of nausea hitting you just as hard as the glock had. Stars had to be rapidly blinked away before your vision could focus on the Rottweiler staring down at you. If he wanted to, he would be able to snap your neck with just a flick of his wrist. Hell, he could have always done that whenever he wanted to, just as he could have shot you or stabbed you or strangled you at any point of your hostageship. Both current and previous.

But he didn't, even when you knew you deserved it. Even when you knew other innocent bystanders had suffered for lesser, if any, infringements during a heist.

Again, the gun made its appearance out of the corner of your eye, taunting your with its proximity. Rather than bash the other side of your face to even out the damage, the cool metal of the barrel pressed sharply to the cheek that was just assaulted. The molar under it shifted, causing your eyes to water. You really hoped the dental insurance your employer offered covered this kind of work.

"If you didn't look so good on your knees, I'd pull the trigger," the robber sneered. If your face wasn't already burning with pain, it would be running twice as hot with shame. "Now don't make me find a better use for that mouth, love."

Tomorrow sounded like a good day to call out sick.

[strangeducks]

YESS IT WAS MUCH BETTER

EXCELLENT JOB!!! I’m so proud of you. It looks nice and fluffy this time. Enjoy!!!

[fan-thing]

@secondchanceatdeath @suspicious-whumping-egg @a-piece-of-rye-hell

NONE OF YOU ARE EXEMPT FROM THIS 🫵

[befuddled-calico-whump]

more gore under the cut :)

T$$ Test Track AU (T$$ AU Masterlist)

previous (cw: gore) //

tag list:

@theonewithallthefixations , @violets-whumperflies , @whump-me , @pirefyrelight , @soheavyaburden ,

@snakebites-and-ink , @whumpsday , @kixngiggles , @echo-goes-aaa ,

@whumpcateyes , @clickerflight , @sodacreampuff , @starfields08000 , @neverthelass ,

@melpomenelamusa , @what-if-i-just-did @suspicious-whumping-egg, @cryptidwritings , @painsandconfusion ,

@grizzlie70 , @bloodsweatandpotato , @ladyblogofficialreporter @whumper-soot , @poeticagony ,

@lthrboy , @unforgivenn , @defire , @auradastler , @your-local-salt-eater