#surrounding it but is sometimes harder 2 fit into characterizations etc. god i should watch hellraiser again soon. i should read some clive

[intertexts]

the thing is like i would probably enjoy being able to write sex, i find it mostly interesting as a vehicle for vulnerability and intimacy and desire and fear and crossed wires surrounding all of those etc. and it's like, theoretically the pinnacle of those. unfortunately however 1) i have a petty kneejerk response against when people go ohh sex is so special and important and the peak of human connection.... nothing else can ever match to it... like ok cunt watch me!! and 2) i have literally zero interest as well as varying amounts of distaste in the idea of having sex myself* or even just like watching porn or whatever & i like, really don't know if i want to write something based of shadows of the shadows on the wall.... i mean thats what we all do anyway for various things that are written. nobody's actually a arthropod kinetic whos turning themself into custody or probably has firsthand experiences if they're writing that shit etc. whatever. but nevertheless!