#surprised scar beat Phil by one hour! I can’t watch them a lot

[grimaussiewitch]

I sure do love having streams in the background.

[lonely-lost-soul]

Under the Floorboards (Pt. VI)

(Technoblade X Reader) Pt. I, Pt. II, Pt. III, Pt. IIII, Pt. V, Pt. VI, Pt. VII

    You had barely gotten any sleep that night, it was a shitty time to not sleep but you couldn’t control insomnia. Most nights it was Techno who was the insomniac, he would spend hours laying awake just staring at you waiting for the voices to quiet down for the night. He was in awe of your beauty and grace, and the nighttime moonlight only ever enhanced those features. You couldn’t help but understand what he was talking about as you stared at his features in the moonlight darkness of your room. His hair was out of its typical braid and framed his head like a pink halo, you felt his arms tighten around your waist as you tucked his hair behind his ear. The tension in his brow released feeling your touch brush against his skin and you smiled adoringly at the sight. His nose nuzzles up against your neck and your smile split into a wide grin, god he was so soft. You felt his fingers spread out against the small of your back and pull you flush against him, his breathing changed and you frowned. 

You didn’t expect anything less than the blood god to be a light sleeper. He always needed to be on his feet, ready for any attack. 

   “I didn’t mean to wake you,” your voice was barely above a whisper and he made a tired noise of confirmation. 

   “It’s okay,” He yawned and it echoed across the walls of the house like a lion’s roar. “It’s rare when you can’t sleep, what’s on your mind?” Technoblade shifted a little so he could get a good look at you in his arms, he could never get over how small you were in comparison to him. You flipped on your back much to his displeasure and dragged your hands down your face; a sigh came from your nose before you answered,

   “Thinking about tomorrow is all. Just nervous, typical stuff I think, I don’t trust Dream fully. He gives me bad vibes.” You said honestly, your (e/c) eyes staring up at the ceiling even from the angle Techno was looking at you he could tell they were sad. God, he wasn’t good at comforting people things like this made him feel like such a shitty person. 

   “I don’t trust him either. But, we have mutual goals and a mutual understanding both of which are hard to come by.” He explained briefly looking thoughtful, “the bottom line is this needs to happen. I don’t want you to worry because Phil and I will have your back no matter what, we look out for each other.” You flopped on top of him and he let out a grunt of displeasure,

   “I’m worried about you dummy.” 

   “Technoblade never dies baby what are you on about?” He let out a laugh as you rested your elbows on his chest, his hands found themselves on your back holding you close. He watched you roll your eyes dramatically and pinch at his ears, he clicked his tongue at you. “Keep pinching my ears like that and we’re gonna have to fight it out,” his lips twitched into a fond smile as you sat upon his hips holding up your fists. 

   “Then let’s fight cause I’m not gonna stop. They’re just too pinchable big guy. Your little piglin features are precious and I’m gonna dote over them.” His face burned red and he groaned loudly, his head landing against the pillows with a thump. 

   “It’s just the ears, teeth, and the height. You’re being gross.” 

   “Fuck you I’m being romantic.” 

   “Which is gross and cringe if you didn’t know.” 

   “Fine then I guess you won’t be getting any kisses from me for a long while.” 

   “Now hold on a minute let's talk about this like adults,” You laughed loudly and smirked at Techno’s attempts to keep cool about the situation. You leaned down and peppered his face with light kisses, he hummed pleasantly at the sensation. 

   “I’ll let it slide this time but watch your words.” Techno gave a sleepy nod of his head, and you smiled tenderly at the man. You shuffled around and curled up against his side, he adjusted himself to hold you close, “I love you Techno.” 

   “Love you too princess.” He pecked your forehead before he closed his eyes and fell back into a light sleep. You took a deep breath and buried your face in his chest listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart, this time however you weren’t far behind him.

~~~

Technoblade was up as soon as the sun rose over the hills and spilled into your bedroom. He made sure to maneuver around you so that he wouldn’t wake you as soon as he sat up in bed. He stretched his arms behind his back until he heard the satisfying pop of his bones, he scratched at his head and tousled his pink hair. Techno wanted an early start, make sure everything they needed for the day was prepared and ready to go, he needed to brew a shit ton of potions. He also needed to make sure you had an appropriate set of armor, that’s not even mentioning the Withers he needed to gather. A lot to do and so little time to get it all done, he wanted to let you sleep as much as possible considering you didn’t sleep last night. He slid out of bed and grabbed his hairbrush, one thing he could attribute to meeting you was his hygiene habits. Techno always used to keep his hair in a braid and never touch it, it wasn’t until you had first run your hands through his hair that he realized how much of a problem that was. You were very nice about it but he could tell you were trying not to gag when he told you he couldn’t remember the last time it was unbraided. You assured him that was going to change and helped him nurse his hair back to life, whatever you did it was magical. His hair was just as soft as yours, healthy and shiny he couldn’t let you down by not taking care of it. However, since he was going into battle he threw his hair into a quick braid letting it fall over his shoulder before he majestically sat his crown on top of his head. 

Technoblade stared at himself in the mirror and traced his rough hands over the scars on his face and neck, he had no idea what the fuck you saw in him. Honestly, who cares though because by some miracle you love him for him and that’s all that matters. Technoblade continued to get dressed for the day and only stopped when you began to stir under the covers. He watched you sit up and give the cutest yawn he’s ever heard in his life his eyes softened considerably seeing you look around hazily for him. Spotting him you opened your arms and made grabby hands, he let out a deep chuckle and wrapped his arms around you. 

‘Simp. Stop spamming simp. He is a simp though, look at him melt. Shut up.’ 

   “Chat shut it...Morning Princess,” He kissed your lips softly and he felt you lazily kiss him back, still sluggish from sleep. 

   “Morning Bubs. Why didn’t you wake me up?” You complained from his arms only pulling away to look him in the eyes. He always thought you had the most gorgeous eyes, why was he feeling so lovey-dovey today? 

‘Cause, you could lose her today. Her lives are unknown. What if she only has one like Phil and has no idea and she dies? E.’ 

Those thoughts and ideas chilled him to the bone he swallowed thickly, “You sure I can’t change your mind about today?” He watched your brow furrow and you kissed your teeth,

   “No way. Till the end of the line remember?”

   “Oh, I remember. In that case,” Technoblade pulled you to your feet much to your surprise, “You come back to me uninjured, we get married.” He watched your jaw drop and your eyes widen to insane sizes. “If you want obviously, no pressure.” 

‘WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. AWWWWW SO ROMANTIC! SIMP. SHE’S GOING TO SAY NO. LOSER. CRINGE. GUYS STOP HE’S BEING SWEET!’ 

He felt panic surge through him when you didn’t respond to him for a good few minutes, oh he fucked up. Technoblade never dies, more like Technoblade’s about to throw himself into lava three fucking times. 

   “Yes! Holy shit yes you idiot! Damn now that’s some motivation!” You laughed in disbelief and you bounced on your toes. Technoblade let out a breath of relief, he took a risk and it paid off, he was Technoblade after all so of course, it did. He wasn’t worried at all. You grabbed the fluff of his cape and pulled him down to kiss him passionately, his hands grabbed your hips and lifted you into the air. He knew it wasn’t official yet, as he said you had to come back okay, but that doesn’t mean they couldn’t celebrate at least a little bit early. He kissed down your face and listened as you giggled, he could tell your face was turning red by its heat, “Okay goober we gotta get ready. There are crimes we gotta commit and I still need to shower.”  

   “Nonsense you smell like lavender and’ all that other girly stuff.” Technoblade scoffed but pulled away as you requested. A smile fell across your face and he felt you poke his nose fondly, “I’ll be gathering potion materials, if you need me just holler.” On that note, he headed down the ladder to gather what he needed for the day. Phil would probably be joining momentarily and he’d put him on potion making duty and also give him a totem of undying. His stomach churned a little as he placed water bottles inside the brewing stands, his singular totem of undying. 

He had already decided he’d give it to Phil, if he didn’t he felt like it would be a betrayal of all the man had done for him in the past. 

Technoblade turned towards the window and saw Phil approaching his home from the sky, he opened the window and gave him a little wave. Phil smiled back at him and climbed the stairs to get inside the house, “Hello. Are you both ready for today?” Phil looked around seemingly trying to spot you, Technoblade pointed upstairs and he nodded in understanding. 

   “I wouldn’t say we’re ready exactly.” He let out a huff, “I’m trying to make triple the potions before Dream gets here, plus I wanna make sure (Y/N)’s weapons and armor are enchanted properly.” Phil hummed thoughtfully opening up some of Technoblade’s chests, only mentally gagging at the disorganization. 

   “I got your back brewing the potions, go double-check everything’s ready for (Y/N), I know you worry ‘bout her mate.” Techno had to turn away because he felt heat flare in his face, he heard Phil begin to snicker and he glowered. 

   “Imagine thinking I care about others, cringe.” 

   “Oh really? I’ll just go tell (Y/N) that then-”

   “Eh? No need to do that. I don’t appreciate being framed. Anyway, potions Phil, potions you need to focus on what’s important here.” Another laugh came from Phil as he rolled his eyes fondly at his friend. 

   “On it Techno.” 

Both men got to work brewing potions and double-checking weaponry, not just for you but for all of them. Well, all of you minus Dream the homeless man can fend for himself. In the meantime, Technoblade gave Phil his totem of undying just in case today went fucking wrong. 

   “Alright boys, what do you need me to do?” You announced climbing down the ladder, you had made sure your hair was out of the way so it wouldn’t be a distraction. Technoblade smiled as he watched the emerald he gave you those months ago bounce against your neck. 

   “Go make sure you have enough ender pearls and exp bottles for your armor. Is all your armor enchanted properly?” 

   “Obviously,” You rolled your eyes dramatically “as if you’d ever let me get away with subpar armor.” Technoblade held up his hands in defensively, 

   “Just making sure. You can’t blame me for wanting you protected.” 

   “Daw.”

   “Shut up Phil.” Technoblade watched a smile form across your face as you covered your mouth with your hand. He was just happy you were laughing, “grab your weapons lemme check them.” You nodded your head and kissed his cheek tenderly, he normally wasn’t one for PDA but Phil was a different story. You handed over your weapons to him and he looked over them, he started with your sword that was aptly titled The Wanderer’s Trade all the enchantments seemed to line up properly, he also double-checked your ax to see it lined up too. “Remember their shields go up you use your ax.” He watched as you nodded in response, you weren’t dumb he knew that but he couldn’t help but want to double-check strategies with you. 

   “I know you trained me well,” You hummed fondly, as he handed you back your ax. He watched as you twirled it in your hands, “Good ole’ Foster Mom won’t let me down.” Both Phil and Techno chuckled at your response, Technoblade gave you a loving pat on the head before sending you off to gather some more glowstone. The three of you spent the rest of the morning gathering supplies, and as the afternoon rolled around Technoblade felt himself grow more and more frantic as the time ticked closer to doomsday. He began to ramble a bit about needing to prepare things especially after Dream showed up early and announced they were going early into L’manberg. Dream explained that he was going to need about twenty minutes to prepare the TNT for the cannons, which meant (Y/N), Phil, and Technoblade himself needed to stall for that amount of time. 

That meant the Withers needed to be in play. 

Technoblade distributed Wither skulls and the soul sand between the three of you. 

He watched as you stared at the skull in your hands gently cradling it before putting it into your inventory. He hoped you were being honest and were okay with what was about to happen. 

   “Now we really have to go.” Dream tried to urge your little group to speed up and get this show on the road. Techno nodded his head and clicked his tongue against his teeth, 

   “Alright, first things first let we need to get the hound army.” He watched your entire face come alight, 

   “Hound army? You didn’t tell me we had puppies!” He felt you grip his arm with the enthusiasm of a child, he winced a little bit at your eagerness. Techno glanced at Dream who was just as unreadable as always with his mask but Techno could sense his patience with you running thin. 

   “I didn’t wanna tell you cause there’s a good chance we lose like all of them today.” He watched you deflate but nod in understanding, “so don’t get attached okay?” 

   “I won’t!” 

   “Let’s go. Time’s ticking.” Dream commanded tapping his boots on the floor, “Let’s get those dogs and get to L’manberg.” The four of you grabbed your weapons and headed down the steps of Technoblade’s house, hopefully, you all will come back to see it again. 

---

Phil walked by your side as Technoblade led all of you through the sewers, Dream was close to your boyfriend’s side almost like he was trying to memorize the proper twists and turns. However, something told you he already knew this place like the back of his hand. 

   “What’s on your mind?” Phil asked you to keep his voice low to not draw attention to yourselves. Smiling over at him you gave a thoughtful hum, 

   “Just the typical worries I suppose. Hoping we win and no one who we care about dies, like the kids you know. I know I can’t control you, Techno, or Dream but if it came down to it I won’t be able to hurt them.” The look you gave him was nothing less than vulnerable and it touched his heart with a soft sigh he responded to you, 

   “I know it’s not specifically in Techno or my agenda to slaughter Tommy and Tubbo. We just want to take down the corrupt government that’s poisoning its citizens. As long as it stands those kids can never be happy.”

   “I’m with you there. Hell, I don’t think Techno and I could date if we didn’t share those ideologies. They made a child president for Pete’s sake I mean no wonder it’s falling apart.” You took a deep breath and nudged the old man beside you. “Even so my priorities are with you and Technoblade. We’re all fucking coming home if I have any say in the matter,” Phil gave a laugh and smiled at you. 

   “That’s a fucking relief to hear. Wasn’t aware you could control death.”

   “Says the man with a totem of undying.” 

   “Guys we’re here,” Technoblade called standing beside a wall, he looked at all of you and opened the stone with his pickaxe. “Meet the hounds,” He mused leading you inside, you were trying desperately to keep your excitement at bay. 

   “Holy shit is it loud.” Dream commented with a disbelieving laugh hearing all the dogs bark in excitement upon seeing their master. Technoblade scratched a few of them behind the ears before commanding all of them to stand, it was insane. 

   “That’s so many dogs they’re gonna be so confused.” You commented, 

   “You know what you should do?” Dream mused, turning to look at you, “splash them with invisibility.” 

   “Already ahead of you,” Technoblade mused as Philza began to splash a good chunk of them. “They’re gonna be so confused it’s gonna be so funny. When they get hit by nothing, it’ll be like I have a forcefield.” 

   “Let's get to L’manberg and surprise them first.” Dream motioned for all of you to follow, and you did without hesitation. Technoblade took your hand and squeezed it tightly, he watched as Phil and Dream went on ahead and he turned to give you a soft kiss. 

   “Don’t die on me, okay princess? You get into trouble protecting yourself, run if you have to. I don’t give a shit I just want you alive.” Technoblade commanded you, even wagged a finger in front of your face. A finger you grabbed and pressed a soft kiss to, 

   “Same to you. I’ll see you on the other side.” Technoblade smiled adoringly at you and you both moved to catch up with Dream and Phil. You pulled out The Wanderer’s Trade and made sure Foster Mom, your ax, and the materials to craft your Withers were at the ready. 

    “(Y/N), Phil when I shoot fireworks into the sky start spawning the Withers. I’m going straight in with the hounds.” He watched both of you nod, Dream let out a hum of acknowledgment. 

   “Sounds good to me. Remember I shouldn’t need more than twenty minutes, I’ll send Technoblade the signal.” 

   “Yes sir.” You gave a teasing salute and no one else seemed amused by that except for the green man himself. 

   “I could get used to that.”

   “Get the fuck out of here you homeless Teletubby.” Techno almost snarled at the man, while the man in question flipped your boyfriend off. Even Phil could tell he had a sickening smirk spread across his face, whether he meant it or not if it bothered the three of you he was gonna continue with it. 

    “Phil, I’ll sneak over to the houses, you gonna stay in this general vicinity?” You quickly changed the subject, the man nodded in response. 

   “I’ll probably stay on top of the bee sanctuary, I figure two people in the air and one on the ground will be a good call.” You nodded taking one last glance at Technoblade before sneaking off to prepare the high ground. 

---

Technoblade sprinted right into the battle once everyone realized you all were there early. He felt the pressure begin to build in his head, as the voices began to buzz with excitement, they all demanded blood and vengeance. He wasn’t losing any lives today but that didn’t mean anyone else was, it was hilarious the moment he hit anyone his dogs would be at their heels tearing them apart. He stayed on top of everyone, he made sure to keep an eye on his hearts while slicing through his opponents. As they got distracted by his dogs he would come up behind them and drive his sword into their chest. His laughter echoed in the air as the names of the dead appeared in his head, he heard their pleading for a cease-fire and decided he didn’t give a single shit. Technoblade couldn’t find the energy to care for their pleas, even as his dogs began to thin rapidly. There was blood and there was pandemonium and he was living for it, sure there were a few close calls. Not that he would ever admit it, but Sapnap got him good in the shoulder and the back of the leg, almost leaving an opening for him to land a finishing blow. However, he recovered with no problem, he always did, obviously. 

Technoblade booked it away from the fighting and sent the firework rocket into the sky. Almost as soon as he did, he set up his own Wither. The entire battlefield glowed red, white, and blue and he watched people’s faces morph into absolute terror. He heard what sounded like Tommy let out a terrified scream, he had no idea what he was in for if he was afraid of one Wither. Then again, Tommy was the only one who knew about the vault so realistically he shouldn’t have been surprised. 

It was up to Phil and (Y/N) now. 

   “Is that Phil? What the hell?! He’s spawning a Wither!” Someone shouted and Technoblade’s face lit up in delight. He watched Phil send out his Withers before flying away as to not immediately get targeted by them. Technoblade turned his head towards the houses and saw you place your Withers down as well. He thought you looked gorgeous spawning in the Withers, it pulled him out of his blood lust just for a moment, the wicked smile on your face was stunning. He watched as you laughed tossing your hair back, the way it framed your face was remarkable, he thought you looked like Eris. 

An arrow that whizzed by his face and it snapped him out of his ogling, he turned back to rubble only to come face to face with Tommy and Tubbo. 

   “Technoblade! Stop this!” Tommy began to plead as they stood on the opposite end of the battlefield, he did pause to stare at the children. 

   “Please!” Tubbo begged from his side and Technoblade grit his teeth in frustration, after all this time they still didn’t understand his ideals or why he was so mad in the first place. 

   “You betrayed us Technoblade! You betrayed me! Just fucking stop this! Help us kill the Withers and stop Dream. All you’ve ever done is betray us, since we met you that’s all you’ve done. It all started with you killing Tubbo at the festival! Just stop this!-” He felt his blood turn to ice and he turned to face Tommy pointing his crossbow at the two boys. He watched Tubbo flinch and grab onto Tommy’s arm, clearly traumatized from the last time the weapon was pointed at him. Technoblade bared his teeth and felt his face begin to morph into that of a full pig, something that only happened when he was pissed to hell and losing control of himself. 

   “Remember when I was sitting there, alone, against the whole government -- and you and Wilbur just sat there on the sidelines and watched? Did you step in? Did you step in? Were you guys the ones that stepped in and said, "Don't worry, Technoblade, we know you're in a high-pressure situation, but we'd fight the world for you, Technoblade''? No! You guys watched. You know what I did, yesterday when you were surrounded by thirty people? When the whole world was against you? I walked in. I was willing to fight all of them for you, Tommy. I would've been there. That is the difference between us." The man roared his voice carrying over the battleground, catching the attention of a few others who were still trying to kill the Withers nearby. For a brief moment Tommy looked broken up by Technoblade’s words but he pushed it aside with a shake of his head. He was about to argue back when the faintest of hissing sounds came from above. Everyone turned towards the sky, a flash of lightning illuminated the scene above them, Dream was standing on top of the obsidian grid. Technoblade made sure to take a few steps away so he wasn’t right underneath the first bit of dropping TNT, 

   “No,” Tubbo’s voice wobbled “What’s he doing, he can't-” 

Almost like Tubbo predicted the outcome TNT began to rain down in the dead center of New L’manberg, the panicked shouts from the citizens only increased tenfold. The falling explosives spread out in the grid-like pattern Dream had created, making sure to hit every square inch of the once great country. 

   “Tubbo RUN!” Tommy grabbed his arm and pulled this best friends away just in time to not get injured by the first round of explosions that went off in the middle of town. Technoblade made quick work of dodging the falling pieces of TNT as he flew up onto the obsidian grid his Trident in hand. He watched gleefully as L’manberg was sent up in smoke, everything from the houses to whatever the fuck the L’mantree Dream mentioned was, was blown to shreds. Personally, Technoblade didn’t want Dream to stop until he saw bedrock at the bottom of the pit. He looked over and saw Phil smiling widely at him, the man gave him a clear thumbs-up spreading his wings wide. He could tell Phil was proud of him, he was proud of himself. 

   “Where’s (Y/N) mate?” He called out to him and the bliss he was feeling suddenly crumbled into pieces around him. Technooblade whipped around towards the last place he spotted his girlfriend, on top of the houses that were now blown to smithereens. He turned back towards Phil, panic in his eyes, Phil’s smile was immediately wiped off his face and he hopped down off the grid and into the rubble. Technoblade wasn’t far behind in his panicked searching, there was no sign of her anywhere and he was starting to lose his composure. Even as the TNT stopped falling around them and everyone began to head home (if they had one left to return to) he still couldn’t find her. That was until an unfamiliar voice called out to him, 

   “Mr. Technoblade!” The boy was half enderman and bordering on seven feet tall, he turned to face him and he swallowed thickly, “Miss (Y/N), she needs help!” Technoblade didn’t even respond he just let the Enderboy lead him to where she was, god please don’t be dead, please. The boy stood over her, wringing his hands nervously, a jacket was laid over her body and she was dragged far away from the wreckage. Technoblade froze as he watched the boy kneel and pull the jacket away, bandages were haphazardly tied around her waist and her breathing seems shallow. The half enderman looked up at him and swallowed thickly, “I found her under the rubble of my house.” 

   “I can handle it from here. Get out of here kid.” His voice was a low grumble and Ranboo hesitated for a moment before nodding, he knelt, picked up his other belongings, and headed off in the direction of the forest. Technoblade knelt beside you, his hands hovering over your injury, he felt his palms clam up as he opened and closed them. “You better not die on me princess, you promised,” he opened up the bandages on your waist, all things considered, the boy didn’t do that bad of a job patching you up. There weren't a lot of medical supplies on the battlefield so he did what he could with what he had, she must’ve gotten cut by a stray piece of metal as she fell, that’s what it looked like to him at least. Other than the jagged cut across her waist her ankle was twisted in a way that certainly wasn’t normal, his princess was beaten to hell. He swallowed thickly and began to rewrap her wound a bit more tightly so she didn’t bleed out, he felt a gust of wind beside him and he knew Phil was by his side. 

   “Fuck.” He murmured kneeling to set her ankle properly, the old man licked his lips before setting her ankle with a harsh tug. (Y’N)’s eyes shot open and she let out a shriek. “Sorry kid, sorry,” Her breathing went from shallow to heavy and frantic. Technoblade reached forward and grabbed your hand tight. 

   “Hey princess stay with me okay?” 

   “Bubs.” You whined painfully, “I guess I fucked up huh?” 

   “Only a lot,” Technoblade stated bluntly and watched as you let out a wheezing laugh that devolved into a cough. He frowned and took his other hand to card it through your hair, “Just take a deep breath we’ll get you home and all patched up.” 

   “Guess we aren’t getting married huh.”

   “Fucking what-” Phil choked his eyes blowing wide, jaw-dropping Techno’s face flushed red in response. 

   “Half dead and you still find a way to torture me.” You laughed again as Phil only shook his head in disbelief, 

   “That is so scuffed. Go take her home, she’s gonna need stitches and a splint for her leg. Make sure she gets home safe.” Phil placed his hand on Technoblade’s shoulder and squeezed it before kissing your forehead softly, “You’re gonna be fine.”

   “Obviously. Mr. Minecraft, would you expect anything less from me?” 

   “Nothing less,” He smiled fondly as Technoblade cradled you in his arms before hurrying away down the path. Phil stood up tall a frown evident on his features, he turned around to catch Raboo peaking out from behind the treeline. “Hey, Ranboo how’re you doing?”

   “Um. I’m alright. Fine, I’m fine, is (Y/N) going to be alright?” He stepped out from behind the tree patting his hands on his pants a bit nervously. Phil eyed the kid up and down for a moment and he cleared his throat, “I found her she was really, really bad.” 

   “She’s going to be just fine, Techno’s looking after her.” 

   “Good, good.” He nodded the tall mans shoulders seemed to relax and Phil couldn’t help but look at him with pity. 

   “Ranboo, do you have a place to stay?” 

   “Ugh...you know what no I don’t actually.” Phil smiled over at the boy and held out his hand, his multicolored eyes widened a little as he interlocked his hands with the father beside him.

. 

.

. 

: )

~~~

Thanks for reading guys! I think this is the longest chapter yet, let me know your thoughts, feelings and opinions! : ) 

[butterflyphil]

And Marigolds All in a Row (Chapter 5: Snapdragons)

Summary: Dan is angry. Angry at the world, angry at his parents, angry at his classmates who treat him more like a punchline than a person. New to Brookwood Academy, he does his best to keep his head down and take advantage of his opportunity at a fresh start, but getting through sixth form unnoticed proves harder than expected. Then, one day, he wanders into a garden with as many secrets as flowers and meets a boy who has managed to do just that.

Warnings for this chapter: swearing, death mentions

start from beginning, previous chapter, read on ao3

It’s raining. Not a violent downpour like the day Dan retrieved his bike, but a steady almost-mist, the kind too quiet to hear over the croaking of frogs and too fine to see except in the spots it leaves on clothing, the rings it makes in water.

Dan watches those rings now on the surface of the pond, cattails brushing his back and Matt Bellamy crooning in his ear. His arm aches from holding his umbrella for too long, and his feet are cold, though not as cold as they should be given that they’re submerged in should-be-icy water on a drizzly November afternoon. Yet another spark of magic he has simply come to accept as part of the garden in the weeks since he first found it.

Another minnow nips at his toes, much to Dan’s annoyance. He looks over to the pale-pink feet dangling in the water next to his own and feels even more annoyed; as far as he can tell, the minnows never pester Phil. But then his eyes trail up to the rolled-up-but-somehow-still-damp jeans, the spindly fingers threaded in dewy grass, the upturned chin and closed eyes and soft smile, and his annoyance is forgotten.

“I liked that one,” Phil says, and it is only then that Dan realises that the last song on the album has ended. Phil removes the earbud Dan offered him and drops it into Dan’s outstretched palm, careful not to touch, as he always is. It’s something Dan noticed shortly after he and Phil met, and though he often wonders exactly what might have happened to Phil to make him so unwilling to touch people, he never asks about it. In return, Phil never asks Dan about home or school or the reason Dan flinched the one and only time Phil called him Daniel. It is their unspoken rule that the garden is to be treated as a sanctuary, an escape from the outside world where nothing matters but the bees and the flowers and each other, and Dan has no desire to break the spell.

“Likes Muse,” Dan says, nodding to himself and putting his earbuds and phone into his backpack before tossing it to the side. He closes the umbrella and throws it to the side as well; now that his electronics are safe, he doesn’t mind getting rained on a little. “We’ll make a music buff out of you yet.”

Phil makes a happy sort of humming noise as he flops onto his back, seemingly unperturbed by the wet grass beneath him. “That’s probably the first band you’ve shown me that hasn’t confused me, scarred me, or made my ears hurt. Don’t get your hopes too high.”

Dan laughs before copying Phil, folding his arms behind him before lying all the way down. He turns his head so the rain doesn’t fall directly into his eyes, and his gaze lands on Phil. It seems that it’s doing that more and more lately, soft skin and sharp bones pulling at his attention the way the earth pulls at apples, natural and unstoppable and feeling very much like falling.

Phil, for his part, never seems to notice the way Dan sometimes studies him for long stretches of time, unable to look away. He certainly doesn’t notice now, with his eyes closed and his face upturned, letting raindrops speckle his cheeks like new freckles, the corners of his lips tilted almost imperceptibly upwards. It isn’t uncommon for them to spend afternoons this way, especially when the sky is grey and dreary as it is now. On nicer days, they sit in the tree or walk along the cobbled path to admire the garden. But on days like today, Phil tends to close his eyes, likely finding beauty in his own imagination.

Dan prefers to look at Phil.

More and more often, they talk very little. Phil has been rather quiet from the start, and while Dan initially felt the need to fill any silence longer than a few seconds with mindless babbling, that urge faded with time and without effort. That’s when you know you’ve found somebody really special, he thinks. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably share silence.

He doesn’t realise that he has spoken aloud until Phil asks, “Did you just quote Pulp Fiction at me?”

Dan raises his eyebrows, though Phil doesn’t see it as his eyes are still closed. “You’ve seen Pulp Fiction?”

“Of course I have. It’s a classic.”

“Oh, that’s a classic but Gold Digger isn’t. I see how it is. You had me thinking you were this magical nature boy who’s too busy taking care of his plants to bother with frivolous human technology, but really, you just hate music.”

“I don’t hate music,” Phil argues, though there is laughter in his voice. “So I don’t keep up with the top forties. Sue me.”

“Maybe I will.” Dan raises his hands in the air, spreading them apart as though framing an invisible headline. “Dan versus Phil. It’ll be the trial of the century.”

“Howell versus Lester, you mean,” Phil corrects. “I think they usually use the last names.”

“Been sued a lot, have you?”

“I have my secrets.” He cracks his eyes open, gives Dan a sideways look, and grins.

They fall back into companionable silence. Phil closes his eyes again, and this time Dan does the same. He tries to feel what Phil feels, focuses on the individual pinpricks of icy water on his face until they start to fall slower, gentler, and finally stop.

“You are, by the way,” Phil says suddenly.

Dan lifts his head. He raises an eyebrow that Phil can’t see, but his friend must hear the unspoken question anyway.

“You said you can only share comfortable silence with someone very special.” His eyes open, wide and earnest and bluer than cornflowers. “You are.”

Dan doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he just turns his head, hoping the action is enough to hide his cheeks, which are surely too red to be excused by the cold. His eyes find the sky, where the clouds have gone pink and parted to reveal deep blue interrupted by rays of sunflower gold.

“I should go,” Dan says. With the end of Daylight Saving, he hoped he would finally be able to stay long enough to watch the sunset with Phil, but he can only ever stay for the very beginning. One day, he promises silently, and he pulls his feet out of the water. Phil follows suit even though he doesn’t have to—as far as Dan can tell, he doesn’t have a curfew—and tags along while Dan puts on his shoes, collects his backpack, and climbs onto his bike.

“See you tomorrow?” Phil asks. He asks some variation of this question every day, seemingly never sure that Dan will actually come back, though Dan’s response is always the same.

“Of course.”

                                                       ❁❁❁

Dan knows he’s in trouble when he sees his mother’s car parked in the garage.

“Shit,” he mutters and leans his bicycle against the wall as quietly as possible. He pulls off his shoes—still damp, as he didn’t properly dry his feet before putting them on—and carries them into the house, tiptoeing, praying that his absence has gone unnoticed.

He manages to hold onto hope until he passes the kitchen.

“Ahem.”

“Mum!” Dan says, dropping his shoes and turning towards the kitchen entryway, past which his mother sits at the table, eyebrows raised, arms crossed. “You’re home early.”

“Slow day at the office,” she replies, tone unnervingly even. For a moment, she reminds Dan of his school’s headmistress, except that her anger is veiled far more thinly. “You’re home late.”

“Yeah.” Dan shifts his weight between his feet, staring at the wall behind his mother’s head. “I…erm…had detention.”

“Detention.” She nods in a way that indicates she doesn’t believe him for a second. “For three hours?”

Crap, Dan thinks. “Well…it takes a while to bike home, and—”

“Dan.” Mrs Howell sighs, pinches the bridge of her nose, tries to stay calm. “I have known you for all sixteen years of your life. I know when you’re lying.”

“Do you?” Dan asks before he can stop himself.

She opens her eyes, near twins of his own in both color and stubbornness. “Yes,” she states. “I do.” A beat. Then, harshly, quietly, “I was worried sick when I came home and you weren’t here.”

Guilt twists in Dan’s gut. He drops his gaze to his soggy socks. “I’m sorry.”

“Just tell me where you were,” she says. She doesn’t sound as angry as Dan originally thought she was. Mostly, she sounds tired.

Dan shrugs. “I was just hanging out with a friend.”

Even with his head down, Dan can practically see his mother’s eyebrows shoot up. “A friend?”

Dan crosses his arms over his chest. “Don’t sound so surprised.”

“I’m not,” she insists unconvincingly. Dan raises an eyebrow at her. “Sorry. I just…what’s their name?”

Dan is quiet for a moment, debating. Finally, he mutters, “Phil.”

“Phil,” she nods. “And is he—”

“It’s not like that.”

“I was just going to ask if he was nice.”

Another stab of guilt. Dan swallows thickly. “Yeah,” he says. “He is.”

His mother smiles. “I’m glad.” The smile fades. “But next time you go over to Phil’s, let me know, okay?”

Dan almost corrects her but stops himself. He can’t think of any real reason not to tell her about the garden—it’s not like he’s been doing anything dangerous or illegal there—but something about it seems too sacred to speak of. “I will,” he promises. It isn’t exactly a lie.

The smile returns. “Good.” She stands up, crosses the room, and envelops Dan in a tight hug. He hesitates, more surprised by the physical affection than he is by the fact that he isn’t being yelled at, before slowly bringing his arms around her waist. “It’s good that you’re making friends.” She pulls back so she can look him in the eye, but she keeps her hands on his shoulders. “I know you must have been lonely lately, what with the new school and me working so much and…well. I…I wish I could promise that I’m going to start working less, but I’m afraid, for now at least, I can only promise to try to spend more time with you when I’m here. And I’m glad that you have a friend to keep you company the rest of the time.”

“I’m fine,” Dan insists, squirming under the unusual attention he’s getting.

Mrs Howell gives him her disbelieving look again, but she lets it go anyway. She hugs Dan once more, tells him dinner will be ready in half an hour or so, and nods when he asks if he can go to his room now.

“And Dan,” she calls after him when he is almost out of the kitchen, “bring me your laptop. You aren’t allowed to use it for anything but schoolwork for a month.”

Dan stops in his tracks. “What? What happened to being glad that I made a friend?”

“I still am. This is for lying about where you were this afternoon.”

Dan hangs his head. “Yeah, okay, fair enough,” he grumbles. He can do pretty much all of his browsing from his phone anyway.

As if reading his mind, his mother says, “And don’t even think about using the internet on your phone. As soon as possible, I’m changing the Wi-Fi password, and don’t think I won’t notice if you’re using data.”

“Now that’s just evil.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Would you rather be grounded?”

Dan almost says yes; normally, he would rather be confined to the house than lose his internet privileges. But then he remembers Phil, and he realises what his mother is doing. He rushes back into the kitchen and places a soft peck on his mother’s cheek. “You’re a good mum,” he whispers.

“I’m rather fond of you as well, sweetheart,” she says. She gives him a wide smile, eyes crinkling in a way they haven’t lately.

Dan mirrors the expression and, for the first time in months, feels like he belongs to a family again.

Then, her grin still intact, Mrs Howell says, “But you still have to bring me your laptop.”

                                                       ❁❁❁

Dan might not be able to use his phone for the internet, but at least he can still text.

Louise my mum banned me from the internet entertain me

Louise replies almost instantly.

That’s not in my job description

You arent my guidance counselor anymore

Touche

And then, a second later:

What’d you do to lose your internet privileges

I might have stayed out late without asking first…and then lied about where i was

Dan expects another lecture. He knows he deserves it. Instead, Louise just asks,

Were you safe?

He smiles at his phone. If only all adults were more like Louise.

Yeah i was just hanging out with a friend

Okay, now that’s out of the way, stop lying to and worrying your mum!

Ah, there’s the lecture.

His phone buzzes again.

Wait…friend?

Why is everyone so shocked to hear that i socialize with other human beings

Sorry, sorry, just…a bit surprised to hear you talking about a friend instead of an enemy, is all. I’m happy for you. Who are they? What are they like? Do you have many classes together?

His name is phil. Odd but in a nice way. No classes together, he doesn’t even go to my school

Actually, he goes to blue coat. Maybe youve seen him

Surely you don’t mean Phil Johnson in year 13??

No his last name is lester. He actually transferred there around the same time i left

Louise doesn’t respond for two whole minutes.

We haven’t gotten any transfers lately

Dan stares at the message for far too long, not quite able to process its meaning.

Hes pretty quiet, maybe you just havent noticed him

He waits for a response. When one doesn’t come right away, he stares at his phone screen until it falls asleep.

He wishes he could do the same.

A soft pattering sounds on the roof. The rain from earlier is back, Dan realises, and it soon picks up speed. If the night was not quite dark before, it certainly is now.

Just as Dan thinks this, the room is illuminated by a flash of lightning, eerie purple-blue interrupted by the gnarled shadows of tree limbs. The trees here, he has noticed, aren’t nearly as friendly as the ones in the garden. He pulls the duvet up to his chin and doesn’t dare look out his window.

The house is shaking with the force of a particularly loud clap of thunder when his phone vibrates again, so Dan doesn’t notice that Louise has finally texted him back until the rumbling stops. She only texts one word. A fairly innocuous word, but Dan’s stomach drops all the same.

Maybe.

                                                      ❁❁❁

Technically, Dan could be on his way to the garden right now. The school day is over, and there is nothing stopping him from opening his phone, texting his mum that he is going to Phil’s, and spending the rest of his day the same way he has for the last few weeks. Minus an internet connection, of course.

Yet here he is, rooted to the spot in front of the headmistress’s office as the last few students without afterschool activities filter out of the building.

“May I help you?”

Dan jumps, letting out a noise that could generously be described as a yelp but more realistically described as a squeak. He spins around to find the headmistress looking at him in a way that feels very much like looming despite the fact that she is nearly a head shorter than he is.

“But…” Dan looks back to the wooden door with her name on it to make sure it is still closed, points at it dumbly, looks back at her.

“Believe it or not, Dan, I don’t actually live in there.”

“Oh,” is all Dan can think to say.

“Is there something you wish to discuss with me?”

“No,” Dan replies automatically. He hunches his shoulders, shuffles his feet. “I mean…maybe. Sort of. It’s…not important.”

Before he has a chance to make some excuse and dash out of the building, she is skirting around him to unlock her office door, striding to her desk, and sitting down at it with purpose. For a moment, they simply watch each other from opposite sides of the doorway.

“Well?” she says when it becomes clear that Dan isn’t going to move anytime soon. She raises a razor-sharp eyebrow, folds two razor-sharp hands.

Dan enters the room slowly, carefully, having the strangest feeling that he’s the unfortunate first victim in a horror movie. He stands behind the proffered chair instead of sitting in it, gripping the back with all his might.

Ellington doesn’t mention it. She doesn’t mention anything. She spoke her piece, and now she sits. Watches. Waits.

“I made a friend,” Dan announces, unable to take the silence any longer.

If Ellington is surprised, she doesn’t show it. She nods. “Would you like to tell me about them?”

It’s an out, Dan realises. She’s allowing him to change the subject, to make an excuse and leave.

He moves around to the front of the chair and sits.

“We…we didn’t meet at school. I crashed my bike, and I think he might have fixed it for me.”

“Might have?”

“We’ve never really talked about it.”

Ellington nods as though she understands.

“He told me he used to go here. Maybe you know him?” He doesn’t intend for it to come out as a question, but it does.

“Probably.”

“His name is Phil Lester.”

For the first time since Dan met her, the headmistress’s outer confidence melts away. Her eyebrows come together in confusion, and there’s a look in her eye that might be interpreted as concern.

Or fear.

“When was it that he said he went here?” she asks.

“Up until a couple of months ago, right around the time I transferred.”

Oh god, he’s secretly forty, Dan thinks, and he waits for the headmistress to confirm it. What she actually says, though, is so much worse.

“Dan,” she says, and she sounds careful, and that might be the most troubling thing of all. “I’m not sure who this friend of yours is, but I think it’s best you stay away from him. He’s not who he says he is.”

Dan opens his mouth to reply, but no words come out.

“I’ve worked here for almost a decade,” she continues. “I know every student who passes through these halls, if only by name. I’ve only ever known one Phil Lester. And, I assure you, your friend is not him.”

“H-how do you know?” Dan asks, heart racing.

She purses her lips, considering, then shakes her head. “Because Phil Lester died two years ago.”

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