#surprise pregnancy as a plot device my beloved

[auspicioustidings]

Just saw that gut wrenching post about Johnny being alive and can you imagine the absolute heart wrenching pain of his kid, his baby, having a British accent. Like instead of it being 3 years it’s like 8 years later and Johnny’s coming home after he can’t take it anymore. Living off of well-meaning pictures just isn’t doing it anymore.

Only to come home and his kid look at him like he’s a stranger, that the house that Johnny bought isn’t his. Only for this eight year old kid to speak to him and it just crushes Soap even more. Like Ghost unknowingly and unintentionally influenced the kid so much that even though the kids a full-blooded Scot they talk like as if their from Manchester.

“Hey, Dad,” Soaps eyes perk up but it’s not directed to him as he looks down at the kid that looks so much like him. Calling for a man that should’ve never held the father position. The position that Johnny always wanted. “There’s a man that says he knows mum.” The kid looking back at Soap inquisitively the same way Ghost does when he’s calculating something and low and behold Ghost himself reaches the door.

“Told ya not to answe—“ a maskless Ghost that’s domestic in a home that shouldn’t have been his, Simon Riley in the flesh stutters over his words. “Johnny?” Brown eyes wide as he can’t believe that the man he loves is standing right in front of him. A ghost from the graveyard that’s come back.

“Dad you know’em?” A small British accent that mimics more Simon than anyone else. Same baby blue eyes that match his real dads eyes, the same man that stands on the porch, waiting at the door of his own house like a stranger.

“Yeah, I,” for once Simon feels small. Feels the shock like ice cold water being splashed on bare skin. “We… We know him.”

You absolute maniac this is scrum diddly umptious are you kidding meeeeee

But wait I can and will make it worse! Johnny is obviously betrayed and loud about it. Simon is betrayed that everybody knew but him. Gaz and Price are betrayed that they were ordered to keep this fucking secret.

But the worst part is when Simon says that you two didn't mean to fall in love. Johnny is angry, his response is "in love? In LOVE? Did ye tell her about Las Almas before she decided on that?"

And now you get to be the most horribly betrayed of all when it comes out that the husband you mourned had cheated on you with the husband who mourned him with you.

Full fucking melodrama when nobody is talking to one another and you are sobbing over a positive pregnancy test :')