#suresh x lucas maybe idk

[perfectlysunny02]

Chapter Four

Word Count: 3k

Read it here or on AO3

AN: Thank you again so much @0shewrites0 for all your help. I appreciate you so much Rae🫶🏼

Grief group, in Suresh’s honest opinion, was a complete fucking waste of time. Sitting around in a circle, saying your feelings didn’t seem to help anyone. It wasn’t like the feelings went away, but Suresh continued to sit through Grief Group. It was, after all, just simply better than sitting in his empty apartment, with only a bottle of liquor to keep him company.

If only this lady would shut up, though, she’d been going on and on about losing someone named Jason for the better half of the hour.

“And it’s like I feel him everywhere, I even feel him in this room.”

“Bullshit,” And as every head turned to look at him, and awkward silence filled the room, Suresh began to realize he didn’t say that quite in his head as he had hoped.

“Excuse me,” the poor woman said.

“No offense,” Suresh scoffed, waving his hand. “I’m sure you’re a nice woman or whatever, but I’m calling bullshit. You do not feel your husband, son, whoever the fuck Jason is in this room. And if you really, truly do, you need to be committed.”

The lady opened her mouth to speak again, but a snort from the left of Suresh cut her off.

“I’m sorry,” the guy said, covering it up with a cough. “I am so sorry.”

“Anyway,” The lead said, clearing her throat. “Lucas, since you seem like you’d like to add something to what Suresh just said, how about you go next?”

“Ah yes,” the guy-Lucas cleared his throat and continued matter-of-factly and almost bored. “Hi. I’m Lucas Koh, and I lost my mother a year ago.”

Lucas Koh. The name rings a couple of bells. And as Suresh studied him, he was semi-sure he had seen him before. Lucas caught his eye as he was staring and sent a half smirk his way. Now he was definitely sure he had, but where?

“And how are you coping with that Lucas?”

Lucas shrugged.

“Work I suppose. It was alcohol until a fan saw me passed out drunk on the street and my producer decided I should attend this group. It’s not like I’m sad, me and my mother were never very close,”

“A fan?” Suresh asked, his brow furrowing.

“Damn Suresh, I thought you of all people would recognize me,” Lucas said, stretching. “I was on Season 2 of Love Island. I was runner up with Blake.”

Season 2. That’s where he had seen him. Harlow had actually been routing for him and Dahila Jones, until Lucas had returned from Casa Amor with Blake Mitchell and Dahlia with Kassam Maleek. Suresh flinched, trying not to think about his own Casa Amor.

“And how is Blake doing these days?” The lead asked.

“I dunno,” Lucas let out a bitter laugh. “Apparently I work too much for her, she left me a month ago.”

“Not surprised,” Suresh said, before he could stop himself. “No offense or anything man, but Harlow never liked her. Said she was the type to leave when shit would get hard.”

“Well, she was right,” Lucas muttered. “How is Harlow by the way? You two won Season 4 right?”

“Ah, no. Season 5.” Suresh muttered, his heart twisting as he asked about Harlow. “And H-Harlow is actually the reason I’m here.”

“Oh shit, I am so sorry man, truly. From what I could tell from the telly, Harlow was pretty amazing.”

Suresh smiled a small smile, and nodded.

“Yeah, she was. She was pretty special.”

~~

Suresh was unsure of how it happened, but that day after grief group, Lucas Koh had become his best friend. You rarely saw one without the other.

“It was the Jason remark,” Lucas had told him when he asked. “You weren’t the only one wanting her to shut the fuck up. Besides we’re both former islanders, we’ve got to stick together. Especially since the season you were on had the worst people.”

“I’m ashamed,” Suresh had said, quietly. “I’m ashamed of my season of Love Island. They weren’t the only ones who treated Harlow so bad, I did too. And I look back and cringe at the person I was.”

“She forgave you, you know. She wouldn’t have picked you, if she hadn’t. If it makes you feel any better, not one other islander from your season has spoken about her death and the internet is not only dragging them for it, but for what they did in the villa. Again.”

Suresh let out a laugh.

“That does make me feel better, thank you.”

Suresh was proud, ever since Lucas walked into his life, he hadn’t had one single drink.

He was actually a semi-working human, until one day that he and Lucas didn’t have plans.

In the quiet, and loneliness of his apartment, the grief set in again. His thoughts overwhelming him, he broke out his bottle of gin and settled into the couch. It was going to be a long night. Or at least it was until the ring of his phone brought Suresh out of whatever stupor he was in.

“Hello,” He muttered, rubbing his forehead.

“Hey mate,” Lucas laughed. “Turns out I’m free tonight. Do you want to hang or something?”

“Uh, no,” Suresh mumbled, slightly slurring his words. “I’m a littleeee busy at the moment. S-sorry mate.”

There was a moment of silence, before Lucas began speaking again, more serious than Suresh had ever heard him.

“Suresh, are you drunk?”

“No,” Suresh laughed, bitterly. “At least not yet anyway.”

“Okay, well hold on, I’m on my way.”

Suresh went to tell him there was no need to come over but the end signal told him that he was far too late for that.

Lucas had to have run a red light or two by the way he arrived at Suresh’s quickly.

“Hey mate,” Suresh said leaning on the door as he opened it. “You didn’t have to come over. Although I’m glad to know how much you long to be around me.”

“Whatever Suresh,” Lucas muttered, pushing himself into the apartment. “Where the alcohol?”

Suresh, assuming that Lucas wanted a drink too, motioned towards his room.

“Have as much as you need mate, we’re all alcoholics here after all.” He laughed.

“That’s not funny, Suresh.” Lucas snapped as he walked into the room. Honestly his tone should��ve been enough to clue Suresh in on what’s going on, but it wasn’t until he heard the sink running that it clicked for him.

“What are you doing?” Suresh yelled, trying to push his way into the bathroom.

“Mate stay there, this is for your own good.”

“My own good? You don’t know shit about my own good.” The door finally gave way, only for Suresh to realize Lucas had already dumped it all out.

“No,” He whispered, close to tears, pushing at Lucas’s chest weakly. “No, what have you done? What have you done?!”

“What should’ve been done already,” Lucas stood there calmly taking the hits. “I’ve been here before Suresh, okay? I’ve been here before. She’s not at the bottom of these bottles, you’re not going to find her, okay? And I am so so sorry.”

Suresh practically collapses in Lucas’s arms, and Lucas gently lowers him to the ground, placing his head on his lap, lightly shushing him as he cries.

Suresh wasn’t sure how long he laid there, how long it took him to run out of tears, but even when it seemed to be over, he didn’t want to move. Lucas seemed in no hurry ti move either, letting Suresh take his time, and he gently rubbed his side.

“I can’t sleep without it,” Suresh mumbled breaking the silence.

“What?” Lucas asked, slightly blinking, confused.

“I can’t sleep without it, I can’t sleep sober. I-I keep waiting for her to come back. I can’t sleep until she’s safe inside our apartment. It’s too empty here without her.”

“Do you want me to stay with you a few days?” Lucas muttered. “Because I will, you don’t have to go through this alone.”

“Why-why do you care?” Suresh hiccuped. “You’ve only known me a short while. Marisol was here last month and knew I was drinking and didn’t stop it.”

Lucas’s jaw hardened and he took a deep breath.

“A real fucking friend would’ve taken it away.” He said, hints of anger in his voice. “And like I said, I’ve been here before. It’s nothing but a whole lot of pain. So if it’s because it’s simply too empty here, I will stay here. I meant it when you don’t have to stay alone.”

As Suresh glanced up at Lucas, he allowed himself to smile the tiniest of a smiles. Maybe there was a light at this dark tunnel.