#sure she wont stop needing her mom but like… she’s a grown woman. she should be able to cope better with this

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Hazbin Hotel x Helluva Boss Theory: Adam & Stolas Deserve Better (So Does Blitzo...)

[Note Edit Of May 7, 2024: I know I had put the tag for it yesterday...but just in case I'm editing this in now....one of the tags for this says "do not reblog without permission" so please read the tags so there be no misunderstandings in the future.]

[Note: Reading This Is Optional, BUT this will still be for Mature Audience Readers Only, so NO kids allowed and Parents need to stop scapegoating and actually make sure their kids don't view something that is 16+ to 18+ when they are not the correct age to view it...though half the time it wont be just the parent or parents at fault, it would also be the much older relative like a uncle or aunt or cousin, who lets the child watch something that is not meant for them until they become the proper age to view it........I seen a movie I shouldn't of seen when I was a little kid, and I had misremembered that being my Mom who let me watch it when we had rented at some old video place......but it was one of my much older cousins that let me, which I guess they did cover my eyes at some parts, well maybe not them but maybe my Mom. I still love the movie though and I finally own it on DVD, but I realized what happen when I was little was still irresponsible of them and they should of known better...it isn't the Movie that is at fault, it was the grown-up that had carelessly allowed me to watch it when I was not the proper age to view it....so yeah, since I do have the DVD of that movie now, I think maybe later today or maybe tomorrow I can find the time to watch it again...at least I know now what one of my older cousins did was irresponsible.]

so anyway, even if Stolas may have a right to be upset during what happen at Ozzie's and even after him being drop off by Blitzo.

but he shouldn't play some innocent victim after what happen at Ozzie, as it is no wonder why Blitz didn't want him to touch his hand and the whole not wanting to go inside Stolas's Home...

I might think that Stolas deserves better than Stella, who needs to get a clue and just let the divorce happen...

I don't even think Octavia understands anything about her parents relationship or the fact they were NEVER in love to begin with, and that Octavia's Mom has been always verbally abusive to Stolas.

they were in a LOVELESS Arranged Marriage, but in theory even those who did end up in a Arrange Marriage could end up falling love with each other at some point and or just growing to love each other in a platonic way...

even if Stella is upset the affair happen because of what it does to her image, but maybe the affair wouldn't of happen if she wasn't throwing in Stolas face that the two of them weren't divorced and even making it into a Not-Divorce Party.

even if some think she is some innocent victim, she really isn't.

what did she suspect, for Stolas to come around and treat her like the "Queen" like she deserves to be, to even worship her like the "Goddess" she views herself as....oh please, like that was ever going to happen in the canon.

even though what Stolas did was wrong, but he was with a woman like Stella who should be happy about getting a divorce from a man she hates, but the only reason she stayed with him was probably for the power and the title...and with the title she was given before, could very well be taken away as well as the power she was given.

but Stolas is probably no better than her, when it comes to how he can't see how much he hurt Blitz, well of course Verosika, Fizz and Ozzie did the same thing, but it probably hit him even more when Stolas chose to use that Menu to cover his face.

and I wouldn't be surprised if Verosika may have did something that caused Blitz to run off the way he did, but maybe they can still patch things up and become friends, like how he patch things up with Fizz.

Fizz and Ozzie, I love ya both and if you both were real I would slap you both if you EVER put Blitz through that again...

I would be on Alastor's Shoulder (when he is in Full Demon Mode" to slap Ozzie, and if Fizz is on Ozzie's Shoulder, then I will still slap him one too...

Ozzie & Fizz are so lucky they are so Adorkable and have those VERY cute and sweet sides to themselves, even if they were jerks to Moxxie, Millie, Blitz and Stolas..

well at least Ozzie from Helluva Boss, didn't cause me to accidentally exist like that one story about the whole King Solomon and Asmodeus basically implies...

NEVER gonna let The Embodiment Of Lust that was one of those Keys of Solomon, live that one down I guess.

I know it had to do with the ring and how Grandpa King Solomon was tricked into taking it off, and Asmodeus had threw him to the other side of the world, where he would end up meeting and getting together with one of my Ancestor Grandmothers.

so yeah, I may be a Defective Earth Angel Princess who calls herself "The Eveningstar Princess" because of that weird thing about my Mom having NEVER getting Morning Sickness when she was pregnant with me, and she had ONLY got Evening Sickness...

but what Asmodeus accidentally did, is maybe one of those weird little accidents that can't really be helped and not sure if it is more strange than the whole getting Evening Sickness...

I was a little weirdo even before I was finally born apparently.

and I came out looking like a 2 week old apparently, blame it on the Nephilim gene I guess...I mean if it does play a part in it...

I hope we can finally stop procrastinating in finally checking to see if my blood type will come out O RH D Negative for the third time.

we have been putting it off for way too long it seems, I guess one of the things I don't look forward to it, is the whole pricking and the whole last few tries we did, I ended up not feeling all okay and needed to go sit or lay down.

but it might not be so bad, if I just close my eyes through most of it.

I don't know if I have a certain phobia or not...

but anyway, Fizz should be lucky that his boyfriend didn't accidentally cause a Earth Angel to be born by hooking up her Ancestors together, cause the Earth Angel wouldn't let Big Blue Cotton Candy Ozzie live that one down...

and before I get back to the whole talking about Stolas and everything else, I think if we think about it some percent of Earth Angels are Demi-Angels, having Souls that are Half-Human & Half-Angel, which half the reason could be from the blood they/we carry and the other reason having to do with the souls they/we have.

of course some damages could happen to the Soul, no matter if it is a fully human soul or a hybrid soul.

(if you wish to skip some parts of this, just keep a look out for the bold words...)

like you end up dying way too early more than once in your past lives, and you are lucky not to have full memories of those times in each of them.....plus I really shouldn't be forced to forgive those that had hurt my past life selves, one of them being the reason I may of possibly had Stolas as a Caretaker if certain info is correct.

is it weird to think that he has a small lab type room with those beakers and other stuff that may also have some plants around as well...? like he keeps it a hot mess most of the time probably.

and yeah I'm talking about the Stolas from our Universe this time, that he keeps the room he has a hot mess possibly, which might be his type of lab...?

don't know if I'm right or not though, even with the thoughts that they have some kind of gladiator arena and have some type of fights to possibly show off their strength...

and there is the thoughts of them having a library, which could be a bit smaller than a library in Heaven, like the bookshelves in Heaven being super high that it would take a Angel to fly up to get a book or scroll to get the item your looking for if you aren't able to fly that way...like one of them being that you could still be scared of some heights and can't fly because ya don't have wings.

it might be a good thing that one can't remember fully of their past lives, one of the reasons could have to do with some damage done to their soul even if it did heal, but the problem could still be there.

I know one of my past lives had inspired the idea of some OCs I had made before, of course I had to change the ideas a bit on the OC that I had made, even if the first one was a Creepypasta (which I had posted the drawings about them in another place, like Deviantart.) and I had no idea at first that I was just remembering past life stuff...

and that past life is probably more closer to me, and I know I died in a dress when I was probably about 4 years old...which of course when I died at 4 years old before, I for some reason started to hate wearing dresses at 4 years old in my current life, and for all I know my 4 year old self was likely traumatized and remembered that we had died in a hospital when wearing a dress.

I do have a birthmark that may prove on the ways my past life self had lost her/our life in that time.

and it can suck for anyone to have bad luck dying a bit too early before they are too helpless to prevent it.

and some Toxic-Religious Inhuman people that have crossed a line when doing harm to children and babies do count as children...

they are lucky I don't go "Alessa Gillespie" on them, as tempting as that is...

Toxic-Satanist are not the only ones on that whole list, and if some of them think I will EVER forgive them for the messed up stuff they did, they can think again...

I suppose in theory, if they got me SUPER mad, and if Charlie, Vaggie and Emily were real, they would probably have to hold me back from trying to pull some hair...

like even if you never punched anyone before, but you think about the possibilities of if some who have did some messed up stuff, if they peeve you off to a very high point, you could go into a type of "Feral Earth Angel Mode" as I like to call it.

I know now that I was apparently born in a Catholic Hospital that had Nuns in it, even though my family is Christian, but most of our Ancestors came from different Religions anyway, and one of my Ancestor Grandpas was a Rabbi...

I am thinking of going by "Neo-Christian" again, but still go by "Neo-Spiritual" but I think I want to think about it a little more.

I still can't tell my family that I really don't go by "Christian" anymore.

or the fact that I don't just believe in God only, but also a Goddess now as well...and there is the whole believing the balance of the Divine Feminine needs to be healed and restored a bit more to stop the twisted form of justice and other stuff that involves a possible future that has to do with Jesus & is Army and the Antichrist.

how is it that not many have figured out how messed up that is, I mean you are doomed either way, but I still rather not take that mark and I would rather take a spray bottle, hold some food salt in my hands and pray to both the Heavenly-Father & Earthly-Mother and then place the salt in the spray bottle and then spray the Antichrist in the face than let him try that messed up stuff...

and even though I can't really do the same to Jesus, plus one of the reasons he could take part on that messed up logic is because he his being influenced by the Toxic-Masculine energy, and hopefully he can be saved from himself and to prevent those terrible futures that involve him and the Antichrist...

but yeah, if I were allowed to, I would use the spray bottle on Jesus's Army and maybe even the Antichrist's Army....that would probably need a lot of spray bottles there...

but if some info about what those two sides want to do is correct, it is still messed up, and hopefully such a terrible future can be prevented.

I guess the song "This Little Girl" by Cady Groves would match the feelings.

anyway back to the original topic, I can agree that Stolas deserves better than being married to Stella, even if she is a Party Girl, which I guess wouldn't be so bad....but throwing a party and celebrating Not being divorce was probably bite her in the tail feathers in a karma type way anyway...

Lilith is no better than Stella, even if Charlie might think her Mom is a good person who loved her kingdom, but we know there is always more sides to the story.

Lilith, Charlie's Mom....is just as Bad as my Dad, well my Human-Dad who is still biologically related.

I was told by my Mom that when she was pregnant with me at the time, both she and him got into a type of I guess heated argument.

I can only guess what it was about, and the thing I'm guessing it being about....hopefully I'm wrong.

I know my Dad wasn't there for my birth, he was off some place else...

it doesn't help that he cheated on my Mom, which if I remember right, I think I was told he did so when Mom was still pregnant with me.

at least Adam wasn't pregnant when Lilith cheated on him...

even if Adam did become a Sinner, I hope he can find someone better than Lilith, and well maybe also Eve....unless the whole there was never truly a Eve turns out to be canon in the show.

and well, blame it on some fan fics I couldn't help but love that involves Adam and Eve being one in the same, and it being because of Lilith leaving him.

Adam may have been sweet and innocent, and maybe a bit clingy during his younger days in The Garden of Eden.

he probably didn't understand most things, same with Lilith who is no better than him...

I mean, misunderstandings and miscommunications can happen.

and back then in the Garden, Adam's words of suggestion likely came out as a order and anything he did was probably good enough for Lilith.

if Lilith got off her high horse, she could realize that she just matured faster than Adam during those times, and Adam wouldn't of turned into a full of himself jerk if it weren't for the fact that both she and Lucifer had hurt him, like BADLY hurt him...

Adam and Lute's relationship could of been platonic, even if in the Fanon there is more to it and them being in a type of loving relationship, like a mix of lovers who are like best buddies.

and yeah, I'm still gonna view that both Adam and Charlie are both in the right and wrong, Adam can't just senseless give a game over to every Sinner, and Charlie needs to understand that there are some Sinners that should be taken out by the Extermination Day.

like the type of Sinners that shouldn't be in Pentagram City, and should just go to that dark and blue, and possibly cold place that we see in the Lucifer Tv Series, which if it were in the same world as Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, that place would be The Double-Hell...or as I like to call it "The Original Hell"....because of the whole current one that isn't the "Original" or "Double" Hell...

had possibly been a part of The Goddess's Earthly Queendom, before that whole imbalance happen and it had to be possibly placed under quarantine from the rest of the Earthly Queendom in the Celestial Realm.

for all we know, Double-Hell could be REAL in the Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss Universe, but it is meant for the very Worse and Toxic-Sinners that are just too far gone, and are even more bad than The Vees and have done far worse than The Radio Demon himself.

those are the types, who are send to Double-Hell, that Charlie can't save or get redeemed, and who deserve to be taken out in Extermination Day.

and as weird as it might be, Adam from Hazbin Hotel, reminds me of Spinel and Pink-Pearl from Steven Universe...

and right now, he also reminds me of Marianne from Strange Magic.

I like that movie, even if some might not.

Adam likely was all sweet and innocent, even if a little naive when his suggestions came off as orders when they weren't, and he could of been different from the Adam from our universe...

if the Adam from our universe knew what those three angels were going to do to Lilith, he would of left her alone and gave her the space she needed...

Adam from Hazbin Hotel, is The Marianne, and Lilith from Hazbin Hotel is The Roland.

yeah the people that Adam and Marianne became at some point are different, but that doesn't mean they weren't still hurt by Lilith and Roland.

it could be possible that Adam hides the fragile parts of himself that was caused by Lilith and Lucifer, that he likely only lets those closes to him see, like Lute.

Humanity already had some form of Free Will, even before the whole Forbidden Fruit Situation, cause Lilith had the free will to leave Adam.

but Adam isn't the only one that Lilith hurt, she also hurt Lucifer and Charlie, and possibly hurting Alastor as well.

even if Charlie might not realize that her Mom is hurting her, she needs to face the truth at some point.

plus it could be possible that Lilith in Hazbin Hotel, couldn't become pregnant like her Fanon Counterparts.

and if Lucifer being the one who was pregnant is true, it could be more than just Lilith not wanting to.....its just she couldn't, because she had become sterile, because that was one of her punishments for the forbidden fruit incident.

she is unable to have children, she can't bring a life into the world like Eve and those lucky enough to have a child.

Lucifer likely found a way to become pregnant with Charlie, and for all we know, Roo could be Charlie's True Mother, who had helped Lucifer have a child that he wanted to have have with Lilith but couldn't because they weren't able to, even if they took some DNA and Magic from Lilith's Soul and Body, it likely came out as a failure which ended up creating nothing.

a true mother would still love their child, even if the child ends up being adopted and not biologically theirs.

for all we know, the Flashbacks during the song "More Than Anything" that had Little Charlie in it...

it might of seem like Lilith in the Flashback, but for all we know, it could of been someone else, and Lilith left a long time after when Charlie was probably still a baby.

Roo is one of the likely people who could of been the "Lilith" in that Flashback, well either her or some other characters who is likely Charlie's real biological mother.

Roo could turn out to be Charlie's Bio-Mom, and she likely took the form of "Lilith" after the original Lilith left both Charlie and Lucifer, and Charlie's Dad was likely very aware of it.

anyway, I think that Adam, Stolas, Blitz and even Charlie's Dad Lucifer, were hurt and deserve better.

and hopefully things do work out with Stolas and Blitz, but Stolas should get slap over the head for making Blitz feel really bad at Ozzie's.

in theory, Adam could come back as a Sinner type Fallen Angel, but we will have to wait and see what the future seasons of Hazbin Hotel will bring.

and maybe like Charlie, Octavia will learn a bit more of how hurt her Dad Stolas has been, even before Octavia was born.

to Stolas, Octavia was the one good thing that came from his marriage to Stella, and he probably wouldn't change a thing if he had to do it all again.

even if Cain's Bio-Dad is like also technically my Grandpa too, but the Adam from our universe is also biologically my Grandpa but through Seth's side.

but Adam can be considered the true father of Cain, because despite the messed up stuff between Cain and Abel (which I'm still gonna view both Cain and Abel both being victims but also both of them still being in the wrong...) but Adam had possibly still loved Cain, and he is Cain's True Father, even if they aren't biologically related.

of course in Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss AU Fanon Timeline, if Adam turns into Eve every once in a while, and well that would mean that both Cain and Adam are biologically related.

even if it ends up not becoming canon and being one of those times when a fan accidentally predicting future canon events, like in Chapter 2 of Deltarune, with Kris eating the whole pie, and Darkners becoming items in the light world and turning to stone statues in different dark worlds...Best Accidental Fan Predictions Ever.

even if it does turn out Adam and Eve in Hazbin Hotel, not being one in the same and Adam not only having to be The Father of Humanity, but also the Mother of Humanity as well...

and it does turn out not to be one of those Accidental Fan Predictions, still gonna love the concept. :)

Stolas might of been hurt after what happen at Ozzie's, but he can't just act like he didn't do anything wrong either...

he hurt Blitz, even if Verosika, Ozzie and Fizz ended up hurting him words, Stolas hiding his face with the Menu had probably cut Blitz deeply in a emotional way.

and it's no wonder Blitz tried to drown his sorrows the way he did in that episode that Bee appeared in.

Bee and Bel are still gonna remind me of my childhood, always being tired and always having to go to the hospital because of seizures.

which by the way, even if my family and doctors might not agree with me, but I still think its possible the energies from both people and places that I was around, had caused my seizures and it is possible that half the time the energies would cause me to become really tired and go to sleep.

still need to post about the whole Empathic Epilepsy thing, I had been meaning to talk and post about it like maybe a month ago...?

so yeah, The Queens of Gluttony and Sloth remind me of all that...

Bee might be a hardcore party girl, but she could see and possibly feel how badly Blitz was doing and him not being okay.

and if she knew what happen at Ozzie's, who knows if she would get on Stolas, Fizz and Ozzie's cases about it, well them and also Verosika's as well.

and if Bee ever went to The Hazbin Hotel, and if Adam was there as a Sinner, she could probably feel the really bad feelings coming from him, that has to do with the hurt from what Lilith did to him.

there could be a reason why Bee couldn't feel the negative vibes coming from Loona, but could possibly feel it from Blitz and Adam.

Loona likely keeps a better barrier up of her really bad negative emotions.

also the stuff that happens in the Pilot of Helluva Boss, even if it isn't canon the other episodes, but we could view it as Semi-Canon.

that the Pilot episode of Helluva Boss, takes place in a Alternate Timeline.

so even if it does turn out the Loona from that Alternate Timeline, lied about Eddie being the target, the Loona from the other timeline who ended up getting a crush on Vortex, probably wouldn't stoop that low.

yeah, the kid was a brat and him being the way he is might have to do with his terrible parents who wouldn't just be Gray-Parents but more like Toxic-Parents.

and even if it did turn out the Pilot takes place in a Alternate Timeline, it could be possible the Eddie from the timeline we follow now, is probably very much alive unlike his counterpart from the Pilot Alternate Timeline.

the pilot from Hazbin Hotel, is likely still canon to the first season of Hazbin Hotel.

it could turn out it is only The Helluva Boss's Pilot, that is not fully canon but only Semi-Canon and takes place in a Alternate Timeline.

even if Adam, Lucifer, Blitz and Stolas became hot messes but maybe things will get more better for them.

I mean if Adam does come back as a Sinner, but the likely hood of that happening is possibly very slim.

Adam possibly needs a hug and being told that the reason why he became a worse version of himself, is because he was badly hurt by Lilith and Lucifer, and they were too high on their horses to see the damage they were causing.

I can't really bring myself to hate him, I mean it could be possible he became so terrible later in his life, because of what Charlie's Parents did to him, and he hides those really bad and depressing feelings by making him seem like he is the greatest gift to women, and give off that macho-man ego.

and yeah, it sucks that my Mom was cheated on...

which I guess misremembering what I was told, it either happen when she was still pregnant with me or sometime after she had me.

but I wouldn't be surprised if he did that cheating when she was still pregnant...

also anyone one could end up having Daddy Issues, like for some it can be for both your Human and Angel Dads...

and some can have Mommy Issues as well.

also if it does turn out that Charlie's Story book, has half-truths and half-lies in it.

maybe we will find out the full story on what it was like in the garden when Lilith, Adam and Lucifer were there in the future episodes of one of the future seasons.

we just have to wait and see.

the book was likely wrote by Lilith, it makes herself seem like a tragic heroine to her daughter, when really she isn't...

at least the Lilith from our universe has a reason why she became a worse version of herself, because she wasn't given the proper space she needed after her and Adam's fight, and Adam wasn't mature enough to understand that both she and him needed space.

he was likely a immature brat who couldn't understand that couples do need space from each other at times, and those Three Angels are just as much as fault and knew better than Adam did, I mean those three angels were old enough to know better, and probably been around for a SUPER long time even more than Adam and Lilith (and later Eve) were, so they should of just let Lilith be alone until she was ready to go back to where Adam was.

trying to force her was wrong and it is not love at all, it is messed up.

but the versions of Adam and Lilith from Hazbin Hotel, play out very different but at the same time the same as the ones from our universe.

Adam from Hazbin Hotel, was possibly just curious and had this innocence about him, and any suggestion on what he wanted to do got taken the wrong way by Lilith, who only saw him being bossy to her and trying to order her around when in theory, he wasn't.

she likely twisted the truth in that book she made for Charlie, in what she believed to be true, that Adam was demanding control...but that could only be what Lilith believed and she ends up twisting the truth in her favor to get Charlie to see Adam as having always been the "bad guy" but really he wasn't, he became that way because "The First B**th" and Lucifer, had hurt him and he became like The Marianne (from Strange Magic Movie) of Hazbin Hotel.

not everyone has to take this theory and thoughts the wrong way, the chance of it turning out to be true and canon is possibly very small chance....

I'm still gonna view Charlie's Mom by the nickname The First B**th.

Stolas and Blitz might still have a chance together, and Stolas may have time to tell Blitz he's sorry and not play the victim when he is partly the reason Blitz became so hurt at Ozzie's, not just Fizz, Ozzie and Mayday.....but Stolas himself also had hurt him.

even some fans could see that, that Stolas had hurt Blitz, and it could of been hinted from how Blitz spoke about Stolas when he and Fizz were captured.

Lucifer possibly holds on to hop that Lilith will come back to him, so they could be a happy family again.

but Lucifer needs to understand, and maybe he will in the future...

that it is possible that Lilith, will NEVER get back together with him.

even if they are still married and separated, he will need to get that divorce if things aren't going to go back to how they were when they were once deeply in love.

even if RadioApple might not become Romantically Canon, but some could view the whole Alastor x Lucifer as the highest favorite ship possibly, even if I still like the whole idea of Lucifer being ship with Angel's Dad...which someone is to blame for that. XD

also in theory, if Lucifer from our universe did have a Twin Flame...

she is possibly "Gone".....like Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz, like she may have pulled a Rose Quartz, even before Steven Universe.

not everyone has to agree on tat theory, but it could be a possibility.

if Adam does come back in the future as a Sinner Fallen Angels, the chances of it are pretty small, but we will have to wait and see.

and if it does happen, maybe someone at the hotel will get through to him and make him open up about the bottle up feelings that has to do with how badly Lilith and Lucifer, and possibly Eve (if Adam and Eve aren't one in the same) had hurt him.

Eve is possibly a even more sensitive topic for Adam, and Lucifer might of not understood how badly he hurt Adam.

even if we are suppose to see Adam as some Macho Jerk, but it could be possibly he didn't start out that way, he only became a worse version of himself because he was deeply emotionally hurt.

and I know that not all fans will agree about that, and it being possible that only half of the fans will agree on that possibly being true.

Adam and Lucifer (and possibly Alastor) were hurt by Lilith.

and Stolas was in a loveless arranged marriage that he tried to make work, to give his daughter a normal life.

but it was never good enough for Stella, who had to rub it in his face that they hadn't divorced.

even if Stella was hurt, but did she truly love Stolas...?

well maybe in a Fanon AU timeline she would of, and been a more nicer version of herself, and in some alternate timelines she is Stolas's Girl-Buddy and Wife, and their wedding was more of a Lavender Wedding, and her being more of a Pife.

Pife being short for Pal-Wife, and Budband being short for Bud or Buddy Husband.

we wont know if what we assume about Lilith from Hazbin Hotel, will turn out to be true...but a part of myself and maybe others, hope we are wrong.

that she isn't as heartless as she seems, and maybe a part of her still loves Lucifer and Charlie...but the likely of her not fully caring about them, and it possibly been Roo who had to shapeshift and take her form because she fell in love with Lucifer and had formed a motherly love for Charlie, like you know Roo being the Maleficent and Charlie being the Aurora from The First and Second Maleficent Movies.

we don't know if Stella did truly love Stolas, or was just in it for the power and title, or like she only acts like it was only for the power and title and she hides the fact she did love him...

but he couldn't truly be in love with her, despite how he did tried to make the family and life they made together work.

how Stella treated him was likely one of the reasons Stolas gave into his feelings for Blitz, I mean possibly...

I do have a theory about Blitz I will talk about after this post of course.

anyway even if some think Adam doesn't deserve to be given another chance, and well maybe he does and maybe he doesn't.

but it doesn't change the fact about him possibly hiding some pretty bad emotional pain and him probably secretly hating himself.

Blitz likely hates himself too, as it was implied in a episode.

and it doesn't help that both family and friends made him feel that way.

Fizz and Blitz rekindling their friendship, is one step in the healing that Blitz needs.

Adam, Lucifer, Blitz and Stolas would need some type of healing, maybe we will see it in the future.

I mean not sure if Adam will come back as a Sinner, but if he did, that man needs a hug and sit down and watch Strange Magic, and maybe some Steven Universe. XD

okay him watching Strange Magic and Steven Universe, would be like Fanon...but hope some can get what I'm trying to imply.

he needs to watch some shows and movies that reflect his deep hurt feelings he bottles up.

and even if not all fans like Steven Universe Future, but I and some do, and well we can relate a bit with Steven, and possibly a few other characters that have been hurt and ended up with some depressing feelings.

lucky I'm not having one of those depressing feeling days now. :D

I'm still gonna view that Greg was a spoiled brat who didn't have the full story, and his parents (Steven's Grandparents) likely wanted him to learn self-defense to stay safe, and likely gave him curfews because their neighborhood use to be really unsafe, and he was possibly given meatloaf for a reason.

and it could be possible that Greg couldn't understand that his parents either one of them or both, may of not been able to handle very loud sounds coming to the music he listens to and had the volume up really high to the point where it became painful for them, and the reason why they didn't let him have any music was because he was irresponsible with the volume that was causing one or both of his parents pain, and they likely couldn't afford certain things that Greg wanted, and he viewed it as them just being unfair.

sometimes there are more sides to the story, and maybe Greg wouldn't of thought so terribly about his parents, if his parents had sit him down and talk to him and explained to him a bit better about why they made him take up wrestling and have a curfews and even chaperons, because it was for his own safety. and the reason why he couldn't have music, because he wouldn't listen to them about turning the volume down because the high volume he puts it on ends up hurting one or both his parents, causing them great pain.

and him getting meatloaf, could have to do with iron or something else...who knows, maybe it was to help with giving him the proper diet...?

by the way I tried the guacamole on the meatloaf, and strangely enough.......I ended up liking it. XD

guess that is another thing that makes me super weird.

if it does turn out that Steven Universe is coming back, maybe like on a Adult Swim, I can't wait to see it.

still gonna view Sans being the future self of Steven Quartz Universe.

it doesn't help the image I saw with Steven wearing a blue jacket, reminds me of that theory that Sans and Steven are possibly one in the same.

Adam, Lucifer and Stolas deserve better than how Stella and Lilith treated them...

and Blitz deserves better as well, and hopefully both he and Stolas do work things out, and we will have to wait and see if they will work things out, and Stolas will stop and realize that he had hurt Blitz, not just Fizz, Ozzie and Mayday...

but we will need to wait and see if that realization will happen in the future or not, but hopefully things will work out for Blitz & Stolas.

is it weird to view Adam as not just as Spinel, but also the Pink-Pearl and as for Lucifer, he is like Pearl of the Crystal Gems.

Lucifer might not see how badly Lilith had hurt Adam, so picture in some Fanon Timeline of Hazbin Hotel AU.

Charlie is the Steven, and those two are The Pearls, and they end up fusing.

it's fine that not everyone views Adam being like Spinel & Pink-Pearl, and Lucifer being like Pearl of The Crystal Gems.

I'm weird okay, and those thoughts and views are likely gonna be a part of my weirdness. XD

it be nice if my Dad didn't sleep with another woman when he was still married to my Mom, and there is that whole possibility he could of well did that, even before my Mom finally gave birth to me...

it does also suck to know that my older brother was cheated on as well, but even if they are no longer together...but maybe I wont go too deep into that right now.

we can only make some guesses and theories about what could happen in both Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, and it's fine if some theories end up getting debunked, plus the theories that do get debunked can still work in a Alternate Timeline way in the Fanon.

so hopefully Lilith being a terrible person, wont be true but we know that we have to wait and see if it is true or not.

like a part of you hopes that Lilith isn't a terrible person, who had purposely hurt Adam and Lucifer, and makes herself out to be a tragic heroine to her daughter who doesn't see her for the person she truly is and views her Mom as a wonderful and loving queen when really she possibly isn't.

Octavia is likely the same way, she possibly views her Mom as being the full victim, and she still loves both her parents.

but she can't see that there was always a problem between Stolas and Stella, that has been going on even before the affair.

but maybe Octavia will learn more about it in the future, maybe.

we can only hope that Octavia gets a even more better understanding of her Dad, and how bad it was for him being married to Stella, for all we know, Octavia just thought her parents had always been happy and in love but they hide their true feelings from her until the affair that Stolas and Blitz had, had made both Stolas and Stella a bit more open in front of Octavia on how bad their marriage truly was.

both Octavia and Charlie, were likely protect by both their Fathers: Stolas and Lucifer from a very cold and hurtful truth about their Mothers: Stella and Lilith...

but as much as Stolas and Lucifer love their daughters, they can't hide them from the truth forever.

just as much as Adam can't hide from his own hurt feelings forever.

if Lute, Blitz and Alastor had to sing a song together to Adam, Stolas and Lucifer...

it would be "Treat You Better" by Shawn Mendes.

some might get why that song, but it's okay not everyone agrees.

but Adam, Lucifer, Stolas and Blitz (from Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss) still deserve better and to be loved.

[vividaway]

Maybe instead of focusing on Joey and Daniel calling Gabbie out (which is their right. If Gabbie can call out them for what she perceives as bad working conditions, than they have every right to refute her claims), you and the rest of the stans should address the latest information about Bianca that has been brought to light as well as the fact that Gabbie stalked someone online who happened to be underaged.

PLEASE CONSIDER SIGNING TO MAKE BIANCA'S LAW REAL. https://www.change.org/p/bianca-s-law-stop-the-spread-of-violent-and-graphic-images-on-the-internet

BEFORE ALL OF THIS LET ME SAY: your use of Bianca Devins in this disgusting manipulative way is exactly that-- disgusting and manipulative. my twitter messages are open, so to not only track down my tumblr, but ANONYMOUSLY LEAVE A MESSAGE TRYING TO USE BIANCA'S NAME LIKE THIS? DIS-FUCKING-GUSTING.

___

Alright, here's a concept.

It's not Joey and Daniels place to refute Gabbie's claims. Their main point in all of this was "She never filled out the form! It's all her fault!" which is actually irrelevant to the story, seeing as she had told them PERSONALLY. in a FACE TO FACE INTERACTION.

the fact of the matter is, as the showrunner, and literal creator of the show, it is your responsibility to ensure the safety of ALL of your cast and crew. and yes, this does include the mental well-being (of the rest of the cast)--

-- and on that note, i also need to say that them not communicating to Gabbie that she were to be killed off, to me, is just unprofessional. it would have made filming a lot better. like honestly, do you think Gabbie would have been as pissed if she knew she wasn't going to be there again?

and another thing-- if Gabbie acted SO horribly, why did they stay her friend? Collab on her channel? if Gabbie acted SO BADLY during SEASON TWO... why did they invite her back? and if Tana was an issue, why invite HER back? I'm very glad that tana had a better time during season 4, but the fact that they knew BOTH OF THEM were bad on set, yet invited them back? they're literally setting up every other person around them for a toxic work-place experience. I've said it once and it's my next point, too, its un. pro. fessional.

ignoring all of that. literally every single piece of information i've stated above. THERE ARE TWO SOLE REASONS I STAND WITH GABBIE.

1. Joey and Daniel, no matter how horrible Gabbie may have acted, had no right to play out Gabbie's voice memo's where she was expressing that she was EXTREMELY UPSET. that she was dealing with multiple things in her life. They had NO right. Trisha Paytas, of all people, has even heard that voice memo enough to MOCK, AND MAKE FUN OF GABBIE'S EATING DISORDER, PUBLICLY, MULTIPLE TIMES, REFERENCING THE VOICE MEMO. to have the people you WORKED FOR, DO THAT? how could anyone in their cast ever trust them again? who's to say you wont send them a genuinely confidential voice memo, and they STILL decide to share it with people?

2. BECAUSE GABBIE'S MENTAL HEALTH ISNT A CRUTCH, IT ISNT AN EXCUSE, AND IT SURE AS HELL ISNT A JOKE. Gabbie Hanna was on the brink of suicide, she was struggling with an eating disorder, had undiagnosed, unmedicated ADHD, was dealing with immense c-ptsd, and it is ALL. FUCKING. VALID.

for YEARS. I've been told to stop using my Bipolar as a crutch. that i was in therapy for it, and that i needed to use coping mechanisms. i was later diagnosed with BPD-- and suddenly i didn't need to cope anymore. my anger was suddenly understandable. people finally believed me.

you DO NOT. HAVE TO HAVE. A FUCKING GOD DAMN PERSONALITY DISORDER TO BE FUCKING BELIEVED.

ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING?

my BPD WASN'T THE ISSUE.

IT WAS MY ADHD.

its literally wired into our brains, and WE. CANNOT. CONTROL. IT. the ONLY THING WE CAN DO, IS TREAT IT.

to continue to NOT LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHEN THEY ARE CLEARLY EXPRESSING THEIR LIMITS is the reason mental health is in its infancy today. we know when something is too much, and we know when our conditions are causing us to have outbursts, because its something we dont do EVERY SINGLE DAY. we need to realize that ALL. MENTAL. ILLNESSES. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

IS JUST AS IMPORTANT. JUST AS DIFFICULT. AND JUST AS UNIQUE, AS ANY OTHER MENTAL ILLNESS.

with the amount of genetical defects, the amount of nationalities that exist, the amount of co-morbidities, EVERY. SINGLE. THING. THAT MAKES ME DIFFERENT FROM YOU? you GENUINELY expect there to be a person in the world with the EXACT SAME THOUGHT PROCESS, exact same conditions, exact same life circumstances, as me? as Gabbie? as YOU?

there is a reason people with mental illness have a common symptom, no matter the condition. that symptom is the thought that no one in the world can possibly have the same thought process as you. its the symptom that i essentially expressed a paragraph before this one. and its because we realize that THERE ISNT. that it isnt a symptom, but a fact, to us. because you cant thing the way i can. my brain will only ever process the way MY. BRAIN. PROCESSES.

that. is why i stand by Gabbie.

____________________________________________

So, the new information about Bianca Devins? Alright, lets talk about it.

Kim Devins, Bianca's mom, has called for all drama channels to apologize to Gabbie Hanna for the way they treated her in regards to her commenting on Bianca's shirts.

I know you want me to say that it turns out Gabbie is actually manipulating the mother, and Gabbie actually WAS exploiting Bianca---

NO.

KIM DEVINS IS A GROWN WOMAN. KIM DEVINS HAS SAID PUBLICLY, ON HER OWN, PUBLIC TWITTER ACCOUNT, THAT GABBIE HANNA DESERVES AN APOLOGY. KIM DEVINS HAS STATED THAT EVERYTHING GABBIE HAS SAID WAS IN FACT-- THE TRUTH. TO SAY GABBIE IS LYING, IS TO SAY THE MOTHER IS LYING, AS THE MOTHER HAS NOT ONLY APPROVED OF, BUT ENDORSED THE VIDEO.

i know i linked this before everything, but if you haven't already, PLEASE. FUCKING. SIGN.

https://www.change.org/p/bianca-s-law-stop-the-spread-of-violent-and-graphic-images-on-the-internet

_____________________________________________

Yeah uhh..so first off, Gabbie never doxxed ANYONE. as someone who's had their literal home IP leaked-- you shouldn't just throw that term around lightly. its genuinely traumatic for people to be doxxed.

Gabbie did however, grab the IP of someone. she did this, because she was worried it was someone SHE FULLY KNEW, was a danger to minors.

Second off, this was talked about quite awhile ago, in april or may-- she actually did that WELL OVER a year ago. we only know because she talked about it on Marco Polo (an app where you can group video chat and text. it was a perk of one of the tiers of her patreon) and it was leaked recently. so i don't really get your point in that.

Gabbie only did that because of all the minor fans that people were SCREAMING for Gabbie to protect last summer. They blamed Gabbie for certain fans that were getting bullies by anti's, all because Gabbie herself didn't tell people not to. so OF FUCKING COURSE she is going to do anything she can to protect her fans if she FULLY KNOWS a PROPER P*DO is trying to imitate a fan account, and she thinks she found it.

When the IP didn't match with where she knew the gross ass guy lived, she completely discarded it. Honestly, if you're upset with this, you might at well be upset with THIS, too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaJqBug10MQ

--------------------------------------------------------

ALL OF THIS TO SAY:

THIS IS A THOMAS SANDERS BLOG

PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT GABBIE HANNA.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Life After Snowpiercer: End of the Line

Summery- Matts Alive! Curtis is given a choice, learns the truth about the kids, You are attacked, and also still alive! Some non con implied, but all mild. 

Word Count- 5806

Chapter 4 / Masterlist 

Curtis just shook his head in disbelief at the man before him, certainly grown up from the eleven year old boy he knew, but somethings never change. His eyes, Your eyes looking back at him, but they held a bit of coldness in them that yours didnt. “H-ow? What is going on. They TOOK you Matt.”Although Curtis always assured you to hold out hope Matt was alive, he knew the likelihood was not good, but he could have hope to keep you from feeling hopeless. Then after you had healed, accepted that it was a possibility, you still had the nightmares, crying in the dark for your brother, Curtis waking to your sobs and cradling you in close to protect you... of course he couldnt let you suffer like that. But here Matt was, alive.

“Yea, Wilford saved me Curtis from a life of shit. You all did this to yourselves back there. Always plotting and scheming to take control of what isnt fucken yours.” Matt looked his nose down at Curtis, glancing away at Claude and smiling fondly at her. “She knew that I wasnt like that, did you sweetheart?” He caressed the womans face and leaned down to peck her lips. “Nams still alive out there, can you watch over him and his daughter till were finished in here.” She complied with a soft nod, leaving the three men alone.

Wilford cleared his throat. “Oh trust me Curtis, Matt took a while to understand what the truth was. But he came around, didnt you son?” Smiling almost loving at Matt. “He understands what the train needs from him, and Im an old man now, I wont be here forever. You and Matt working together, well this train is my legacy and will continue on forever. With some help of course.” He moved to open a cupboard and Timmy crawled out, Curtis eyes widening at this next shock. Timmy to was alive! The boy just ignored Curtis though and proceeded to go up the stairs, and enter in a car.

“Timmy? What are you doing, get back here?!” Curtis called to the boy, but he merely buckled himself in and whoosh, he was gone. Curtis turned to look at Wilford and Matt “Where the fuck did he go?!”

“Into the engine of course, it builds up crud, and kids like Timmy, they clear it out, also run some of the gears that need help. Reason we need all those kids from the tail end is although the train is self sustaining, the parts wear out. Many have gone extinct, and we have no way to replace them anymore. We ran out of metal for workers to mold. So we need someone who can fit into tight spaces. Gotta be about 4 or 5, you tail enders are always so scrawny. When they outsize, we replace them.”

Jesus fucking christ... how many kids have they taken over the years? At least over 2 dozen. Oh Curtis.... He could hear your sorrow now, it broke your voice, picture the tears streaming down your face as you mourned for all those babies you all lost in the tale end. Curtis growled out “What happens once they age out?”

Matt rolled his shoulders nonchalant like “Well if someone here wants one, they can just take them as there own, or if no one else can use them in there service, we execute them. Originally we were just gonna bring them back, but hell over crowding has started becoming an issue. You all really need to learn more creative fucking methods. What was the term you used the other day Wilford? ‘Like a bunch of god damn rabbits back there?” He chuckled at his attempt of wit.

What the fuck did they do to you Matt?!

They have no idea, thought Curtis, all the people they broke taking the children. The parents weve found that died because it broke there heart, shattered there will to live. How many women in the tail end lived in FEAR, not at the dangers of child birth, but that they might lose there children and can not stop it. How many times you confessed to him that you just couldnt get pregnant, it was just to dangerous to bring a life into all this, although he knew that you want nothing more then to be a mom one day. They had no idea they caused all that pain.

Curtis, they fully know. They just dont care. Your voice flat, the truth.

Wilford shook his head, chuckling “Now now, we need them more now then ever. As I said before, the front end and tail end work together. We provide them with shelter, food and safety, they provide us with necessary replacement train parts and the occasional entertainment of cleaning up the excess baggage the train carries. Already were running smoother then before thanks to The Great Curtis Revolution.” That fucker is was still trying to make that a thing, Curtis could already see you rolling your eyes.

Matt cheerfully turned back towards Curtis. “And I heard that Y/N will be coming  up to the front, since you two seem to be an item now. I say Curtis you will have more options now then just her if you want. Im sure after all this time your getting bored of her. Although I cant say Im surprised about you two, she always followed you since she met you like a little whimpering puppy. How is she anyways? I haven't thought about her in a while till Wilford brought you up. I suspect shes well.”

Curtis brows came together in anger at the mans words, at everything. That was his sister and he talked about her as if she was just a item Curtis happened to have possession of. “You havent thought about her? Your fucken kidding right? That woman constantly thinks about you, every damn day. Everything she does for others in the tail end is in your memory Matt. Even after all these years she has nightmares about how she couldnt save you, She thinks you will hate her because she cant get to you. And you havent thought about her this whole time?!” Curtis started laughing, shaking his head at all of it. Anger just making him snap at this point. “I cant believe im having this conversation with you of all people Matt. Fuck my life, they brainwashed you man. Everything about this.” Curtis waved his hand around and looked back at Matt, the laughter having died, now it was just cold facts he was raging out. “All this, its maybe more messed up then us starving and eating people, we were just trying to survive. You all think your some kind of gods for supposedly saving us and were a fucking game, you cant see why its so fucked up though, can you?!.”

Matt looked appalled over the outburst and Wilford spoke up “God Curtis your so over dramatic, cant you loosen up? Your acting like the fate of the world rests on you. Trust me, you have no control over that, and sounds like a good thing. I doubt you could handle that pressure. Look at you, so tightly wound.” Wilford made a motion like he had gone stiff, shaking.

Matt snorted in anger at the situation. “You act like you all werent happy for me, that it was my fault I earned my place by Wilfords side.” he basically spat out this next line. “That I should even care about what happened to either of you. That I deserved to be in that same shit hole as you? Wilford you really cant be serious about having Curtis be our Minister. He still lives in the old world view, has yet to embrace new world values. We are FUCKING GODS Curtis, make no mistake. Our word is the law on this train. People like my sister, all this for the people bullshit yall preached back there all the time, have no real place here. You both will get it soon enough.”

This was the final straw, Curtis couldnt, he just couldnt deal with the vile they were spewing, the lives they themselves sacrificed to try to kill him, and it was all a game to them, let alone the friends Curtis dragged into danger to get him here. With a twist, he tackled Wilford first, he had a pistol in his robes, it made sense. His right hand reared back and he caught the man unaware. When Curtis fist impacted, Wilfords head snapped back with a gush of blood exploding from his mouth and nose, those iced blue eyes rolled back and yes, it was that easy to just knock his senses askew.

Matt on the other hand had the upper hand, and he tried locking Curtis arms to his side, but a quick whip with his head backwards cracked against Mats face, and he howled out in anger and pain, releasing his hold against Curtis and cupping his face. “Your Fucker! You son of a bitch, I will kill you!” he screamed out. Clearly Matt forgot anything he learned in the tail end, cause he didnt even prepare for Curtis kick of his heavy treaded boots, hitting squarely in the chest and threw him back into the kitchenette.

Reaching wildly, Matt was able to grasp hold of a butcher knife from a black, slashing it so completely out of sync, that as Curtis ascended on him, he ducked backwards quickly when it wildly arched to him and his hand grabbed Mats wrist, twisting and crushing it in his single hand as he drew in close to the man, his hand grabbing his other hand to keep him from hitting him. “I would like to see you try, I came up here expecting alot more then over privileged cum stains like yourselves. Your finished.” He twisted Matts wrist further till he heard a snap, the knife clashing to the metal floor. Matt howled, not one of those cries out of pain, no this was a howl that almost sounded animalistic, he wrung his hand out of Curtis grasp and cradled it to his chest. Wasting no more time, Curtis ended up bashing his head into the overhead cupboards till he felt him go limp, releasing him to the floor. “Y/N, your brothers a fucking dick...” he muttered to himself.

One last issue to really take care of, Claude, she was out there guarding Yona and Nam. He heard her voice from outside of the gate, and going up behind it, he waited till he could see her yellow arm stretch beyond the gate, gun pointing inwards “Mat? answer me hon” and at that moment, Curtis pushed the door as hard as possible, crushing her into the door frame. She yelped out in pain and Curtis reached around to fist his hand in her hair and drag her into the room, kicking at her hand until it knocked the gun out. “Yona get in here now.” Claude hissed as she twisted and turned to get loose from Curtis and he gave her a vigorous shake to stun her, her hands trying to tug his loose from her scalp. “Your dead buddy, wait till Matt finds out you even touched me with your filthy paws.”

“I dont think hes doing much for a while sweetheart” Curtis promised her when Yona appeared in the room, wrinkling her nose at the scene before her. “We thought they would have killed you Curtis” She said softly while Nam followed along behind, sluggish. His face was pale and the rag he had pressed in his chest was soaked, still dripping big heavy drops of blood, gravity making a steady drip drip drip echo softly in this metal dungeon. “Not yet, they had other ideas apparently. Yona, can you sense where Timmy is? He went into the engine and we got to pull him out.” She had displayed hints of Clairvoyance throughout there journey, and she nodded, turning away to start searching. Claude chose this moment to start up again, smacking Curtis right in his gut and groin causing him to cuss out and tighten his grip in her hair to keep from releasing her.

“Fucken bitch” he hissed and having had enough of her, he knocked her upside the head, her screaming the whole time till she to went silent as her partners, she to was simply dropped to the floor with a thump. Still trying to catch his air once again, the ache going dull easy to ignore. Dont underestimate them Curtis a familiar whispered voice came to him, taking quick glances at the other two. He went to check Wilford, collecting his pistol still in his robe, and hobbled over to where Claude lost hers near the door. Handing one off to Nam, he spoke softly to him, to keep Yona from breaking concentration. “Are you okay?”

“Yea im fine.” The man grunted in his language, loosely translated by the box hanging off his neck. Just then he coughed and spat a wad of blood. It was clear he wasnt fine, just from the way he was wheezing, Curtis guessed at this point his lungs were filling with fluid. He had heard it before with others in the tail end. No one here was trained to drain it either, sure now that anyone who could was probably dead. He gave Nam a knowing look and the man cast a downwards glance. “Dont tell Yona, not yet.”

It was then Yona sprawled to the floor, clawing to pry up a tile “Curtis, hes here! Hes right under the tile.” her fingers scrambled against the smooth tile, and Curtis grabbed the abandoned butcher knife, wedging the tip into a crack, pushing till it popped open. What they opened was unlike anything Curtis had seen before. The small boy was squatting among the gears, digging his hands into chunks of oily gunk and digging it out, flinching every now and then when a piece of metal gear would cut shallowly into him, his arms were covered in bloody shallow knicks. Robotic like motions, he plunged his hand into the gunk and scooped out a handful. “Timmy! Timmy look up!” The little boy looked up, but it wasnt like he was seeing Curtis, more like through him. Curtis whats wrong with him? “Timmy you gotta get out of there, can you go back out?” I dont know Baby, I dont know what they done to him.

The boy just ignored him, his sightless gaze going back to the task at hand, and it was then Wilford made his presence known with a heavy groan, pushing himself up to a sit, swiping at his face. “Maybe I made a mistake with you Curtis... “ His gaze bleary as he sought out Curtis and Yona kneeling over the hole. “You just dont get what were doing here, cant see the bigger picture.” He moved to get up and Nam came between them, wheezing worst then before but ready to defend them. They were running out of time and Curtis knew it. A glance at his hand was the resolve he needed. I mean, it was the sacrifice he originally was going to make in a sense anyways. And into the gears his arm shot, stopping everything in its tracks, almost immediantly the gears all locked up, the train shuddered and wobbled unsteady.

Nam was blocking Wilford from ascending, but was struggling, surprise the gun had no fucking bullets in it, Yona reached in the gaps and stretched to reach for Timmy, who still seemed oblivious to what was going on above them. “Please Timmy, take my hand.” She turned her head to the side and stretched further, facing Matt whom now was starting to groan as well, Yona started to panic “Curtis, fuck hes waking up!” Panting through the pain of his arm getting crushed in the gears, he glanced to see Matt roll to his back, covering his face with a series of curses. Curtis, get my baby out of there, please! This time it was Tonyas voice yelling at him to save her child. Pushing Yona back with his free hand, he shot it into the one slot Timmy might fit through and grasped the boys skinny arm, hauling him up and pushing him to Yona who wrapped him up in her arms and started to pull back.

Matts foot connected squarely with Cutis jaw, wrenching his arm out of the gears, half skinning it in the process, his whole body flinging backwards. The enraged man landed on Curtis, trying to choke him out with his single hand, his broke wrist still cradling against his chest. Even with both short the use of an arm, Curtis was able to overpower him, pushing him to sprawl backwards. In there scuffle, the gun Curtis had tucked away in his jacket fell out and in both of there lunge to retrieve it, they scuffled it across the floor to land in the open hole. Matts eyes widened a bit “Oh shit!” It took a second for Curtis to understand what the issue was, yes that gun was loaded and it was currently twisting into the gears, making the entire train shudder, then a ping ping ping!

The pressure had set off the bullets in the weapon, and all around them steam shot out of the pipes. Everyone stopped what they were doing, looking around with fear at the reaction, and there was another mighty shudder. “Its gonna go off the tracks, good job fuckers!” Wilford hissed out in a panicked rage. Another shudder and the nose of the train must have hit something, an ice block on the tracks Baby your voice sounding scared in his confused mind, cause it jerked upwards, loosing traction on the track, without the wheels working in tandem to keep the forward momentum. It scrambled everyone, slamming them to the left side, Curtis skidded on his backside, crashing into Matt, who slammed into the kitchenette cabinets. The kids they went flying backwards towards the half opened gate, falling into the car just behind, Wilford and Nam entangled together smashed into the bolted down kitchen table. Claude, she screamed in fear at just waking up to everyone being whipped around spinning backwards across the floor. The engine started to tip to its side. The side of the Engine suddenly was ripped away with a screech of metal and sparks, having hit cliff side rocks. Wilford and Nam got sucked out of the giant hole, and thats when Curtis went black, something falling and smashing him in the skull.

During this time, in the tail end, James was dragging you back down the aisle, your body bouncing against random bunks and junk scattered around from where they had torn everything apart. Finally he tossed you to sprawl on the ground and fell on your stomach, bouncing enough to knock the air out of you. “I thought we already talked about this hunny, just be a good girl and spread them. Not that I dont like it when you all fight a bit.” Thinking he had subdued you, he pulled back to hike up your coat and shirts to what he claimed as his prize. .

Taking a chance you twist and shoot a foot out to hit him in his chest to topple backwards and start to crawl away, but a large hand encircled your ankle and jerk you to fall on your belly with a omph! Panicked, your hands shoot out under a bunk to see if theres anything to hold onto. Your hand closes around a small shard, fitting in the palm. You snatch it as he keeps dragging you back, flipping you to your back with a smirk.

Calm down Y/N, wait for the right opportunity. Of course it was Curtis calm voice, the one he used when he was bringing you back from a panic attack. You take a deep breath, and change tactics on James, stopping trying to fight, you hold up a hand in surrender. “Please, I give! What do you want?” James hand fisted in your mess of hair, tipping your head back till your throat was exposed. Dragging his tongue over you, you fight back a wave of bile burning your throat at the feeling of the man all over you. “well what do you think sweetheart, I want your sweet pussy gripping the best dick you ever had and begging for more.” God how the fuck do you not gag at that. Concentrate Baby. Praise how good he is. you shudder in the mans grip as he starts to palm a bruised breast, twisting it painfully like before. Do I really have to Curtis?

Trust me Babygirl

“You made me feel so damn good last time, and I was so ungrateful.” trying to make your voice husky with false lust and looking up at him wide eyed. Reaching up you cup James face and bite your lip, giving it your all. “But how about this time you let me make you feel good? A thank you.” Leaning up your brush your lips against his, really putting your all into drawing him into the kiss. Fucker fell for it, and he got caught up in what you were doing with your tongue, where your hands were running all over him, palming his crotch through his pants. “Biggest ive ever had” Cant believe Im saying this. God I hate you bastards. You were fighting everything in you to not start crying in disgust. Finally when he was panting against your lips, you push him hard enough to make him roll, his hands grasping your hips to have you follow, and now.... now you fucking dick head, I have you right where I want you, you think triumphant when you straddle his stomach.

That you do baby, you know what to do next. Curtis hissed in your mind. Dont hesitate, hard and quick.

Arching up, you smile so sweetly at James looking up at you hazily. “God I knew you were a good fuck, but this is even better then I thought it could be.Tell me im the best, better then whatever his name was.” Tracing his chest, and winking at him to respond. “Oh baby, Curtis was nothing like you.” And with a quick twist of your wrist, you shove that shard of metal in his eye, pressing down hard and quick with your palm as you could. You literally felt it pop, and the warmth of blood shoot against your palm. “Hes every fucking thing a man should be!” Smashing your hand against the next vulnerable part of him, his nose, he bucks in pain underneath you, shooting you off. Tumbling, you scramble up and start running towards the back as James is screeching, dodging the unsuspecting hands of other guards reaching out of the bunks they were laying in, some of them following James choices and there captives started to fight back in the confusion you caused. “GET THAT WHORE!” James screeching, his hand covering his eye as he struggled up, red gore oozing between his fingers.

You were looking for anyplace to hide when thrown off your feet violently.

It wasnt another person, the train started rattling on its tracks and screeching, fishtailing back and forth. One violent turn and you were flung into the bars of a bunk, screaming out as pain blossomed white hot through your spine, tumbling now. Bottom was above you, crashing onto what should have been the roof of the train, items pelting you, bouncing off and crushing you. Your cries of shock and pain turning ragged when it all rolled once more, going right side up, the kids and other survivors going through a similar experience, whipping around and around as it kept rolling and bouncing. The back end of the train had gone off the side of a cliff and falling into a valley under the tracks. everyone whipped around and around, till it crashed to a stand still.

Groaning you push up under a bunch of random debris, and try to focus. Leaning over and puking from the dizziness, you push away from the mess and look around at other passengers and guards pushing themselves out of the mess, somewhere bright light was streaming in. Fuck fuck fuck fuck, you have to figure out how to get one of there guns before they take control again. Pushing up, you stumble around people, some of them eerily still, twisted bodies and blank stares. Not all survived. Relief flooded you as you saw more and more kids scrambling to your side. “Quick, find anything we can use as a weapon.” urging them with a hushed voice, they scattered to fulfill your request. Coming across a dead guard, your quick to strip him off anything valuables. Shouldering a rifle over your shoulder, more children and some of the women came back, fight in the adults eyes, most of the kids holding something they could use.

“Hey, Yall get yer asses back here!” some fucker drawled heavy accented, and a look over your shoulder saw that they had rejoined ranks. “Quick, get out that hole!” You urge your group, scrambling back the opposite way where the light was, bullets whizzed at you, ducking just in time, it clipped a woman next to you, fuck it was the woman who helped you before, Sara. Sara cried out grabbing her shoulder. Grabbing her waist, you tug her to follow along and aim the automatic rifle in your hand, just randomly shooting behind you as she climbed up to fall out of the hole with a yelp. No one followed you as you to scrambled out, maybe for once luck was on your side, there seemed to be alot less of them then there was of you survivors.

Crashing rather ungracefully over the edge of the train car, you land in the snow, and blinded you try looking around, drawing in for the first time in 18 years, fresh air. It burned your lungs,the intense cold and just that it was so god damn clean. Looking around your surrounded by cliffs, and as your eyes go into focus you can see where you all went over the edge, snow still rolling down, and scattered around you was a few more cars, above one hung precariously over the edge. Fuck, how did you all survive that? “Y/N, what do we do?” What do you do? What would Curtis do? You all had never discussed being on the outside. “We have to get away from here, they will be coming out any second after us.” Everyone shivered around you, wrapping arms around themselves. The entire group surrounding you wouldnt make it for long without shelter and heat.  

“Curtis” You voice was soft, he missed that.

“Hey baby” He looked over his shoulder and smiled.

“Curtis” You looked lost to him, confused.

“Im right here Babes” He held out an hand to reach for you.

“CURTIS” Why wouldnt you take his hand?

”Babygirl, whats wrong?” Striding over to reach for You, his brows coming together in confusion.

“CURTIS!” Fear and Panic etched all over you

He sat straight up with a gasp, Yona falling back from where she had been leaning over him, her face a look of fear and shock, tears tracking down her face. “What the fuck happened?!” Curtis cussed as he wildly looked around, Timmy was rocking on his heels next to Curtis, and he reached over to touch the boy, make sure he was real. “Yona... wheres Nam?” The girl shook her head, and straightened from where he knocked her over.

“Wilford and Dad are not here. That guy and girl are, over there.” She pointed among the mess. “But they wont wake up, I checked.” Curtis moved to get up, wincing. There was something broken, just ribs hopefully. He wouldnt be taking deep breaths anytime soon. And then his gaze went to his mangled hand, Okay this is more serious. Wincing as he pulled his sleeve over it to protect it, it had at least clotted enough to stop bleeding but had no idea what the real damage was yet on it. Timmy just stayed rocking nearby, Curtis debating what to do, the boy had obviously been traumatized by what had happened. But at this point, there was more pressing matters. “Yona, grab that butcher knife” Somehow they still had it.

Going to a panel, Curtis inspected it and with the knife, they managed to pry it off, and tossing the panel to the side. Ahhh, bingo, Curtis tested the wires and finding them not live wires, he started to pull and yank them out. “Cut these, a good three feet at least” He stretched it out, and Yona started slicing back and forth. Right now his first worry was Matt and Claude coming around before they could be tied up. He probably should just kill them after everything, but Curtis was just done with death. At least for now, and if You ever found out he had killed your brother, He simply couldnt. Claude, well we will see what ends up happening with that bitch. You snigger. Curtis had to hide a bit of a laugh, apparently his imagination made you a bit dark.

Yona, well he would be royally screwed without the girl, she was nimble and quick with her knots, the two of them dragging the still unconscious duo to a wall, tying them tight and far apart so they couldnt help one another, Curtis finally sighed in relief. At least for now he didnt have to worry about them at the moment. Yona again came to the rescue,having found coats in the other car, wrapping her and Timmy up.

“Theres a way out in the other car Curtis, a few are outside, just... standing around. I think they are high still.” Her own eyes bleary, it occurred to Curtis she to was coming down from the kronoles and alcohol she consumed on the trudge to the front. His voice soft “Are you okay yourself?” She twitched a bit and nodded. “Just after effects, nothing I havent felt before.” Curtis didnt like it, but he had to trust her, completely out of options. Yona took Timmys hand and together the three of them worked there way out of the Engine, and the next car, well it wasnt much better off then theres was, completely flipped over, several dead. Curtis was still questioning how they even made it out. What about the tail end? You? The anxiety of not knowing.... A deep breath was drawn in, and made him instantly regret that, fuck my ribs.

Popping his head out, rubbing at his face, he took it in. Oh God your voice echoes, and before him, stretched across the blinding whiteness of where you all ended up, was just destruction, chaos, and more death. Twisted metal cars, split open to spill out its contents to scatter across the snow, it seemed like the end wasnt to bad off the further he looked down the line, but shouldnt there be more?

Wheres the rest of the train Curtis?

Were going to go find out Y/N, Im not leaving you out there alone.

Nearby there was a small group of people, most of them were hiding in heavy fur coats, and watching them for a moment, Curtis pegged Yona to be right. These fuckers are high as a god damn kite. There were a few though, that looked more put together, and Curtis recognized one of them, his eyes narrowing. Right now he didnt have any of the typical gear on, but it was one of the men who would bring there protein bars. Wonder how many you I got to deal with? Curtis sighed, fuck he was so tired suddenly. “TImmy climb on my back” He ordered and squatted enough for the boy to wrap his arms around his neck. Going to the edge, he deemed it safe enough and jumped down, stifling a groan at the jolt in his ribs. His hand, god that was just a steady throb.

Yona inched to the edge, her feet coming over the edge, and she slid off as much as possible till she landed on Curtis shoulder, his arm wrapping around her thighs to keep her from tipping over and easing down for her to get off. As he straightened the men whom he dared guessed were some of the guards came over, they were scuffed, but not bad off as Curtis nearly was, and he braced himself for the typical aggression he knew from them, but they all held up there hands in a peace sign.

“Seriously man, were not going to do anything.” Curtis took a step back from them anyways, keeping the kids behind him. Yona peaked around him warily, studying them.

“Curtis right? weve heard of you. Listen, we have to look for survivors, this group over here is kind of useless right now, and these cars might have people trapped.” One started, another picked up.

“Front, Back.... it makes no difference now, Theres probably not enough left to make it count.”

“Right... suddenly im supposed to believe you all have a good conscious?” Curtis sure as hell wasnt going to trust them, 18 years of entrapment will do that to a man. Yona tugged on his jacket, and he spared her a look.

“Good, they will help us.” He nodded encouragment, and his gut twisted. The girl hadnt been wrong yet, but his mistrust and instinct was still was over riding that. He trusted another, and betrayed everything he believed in.

Curtis she hasnt been wrong yet, shes special.

Alright Alright, he thought, holding out his uninjured hand, he growled out. “truce for now... we wont give you any trouble. Were making our way towards the back to check on our people.” One of the guards winced.

“The back? We were coming over a bridge when the train derailled. Honestly the fact any of this is still here is shocking. Im sure the back end came off the rest of the train and went over the cliff side. A fall like that in a hunk of metal.” The man shrugged in a im sorry motion “The chances are not great anyone in those cars would survive such a fall. The tail end, its gone. Any survivors will be making there way up this way.” He looked over his shoulder and sure enough, people were slowly coming in groups. “Slim, the chances are slim, but... maybe...”

Slim, the chances were slim, but... maybe... it was all Curtis heard after he said those words. 

@what-is-your-plan-today​ @curtisbbq​ @jtargaryen18​ @p8tn0lish​ @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

chapter 11.5 -- okay, 12, it’s chapter 12, fine, fine. I should stop trying to predict how long my chapters will be. I’m always wrong. the Fae AU keeps escaping all my predictions. it’s fine. it’s cool. 

[Beginning] [Chapter Masterlist] [ao3]

It is not, as Apollo expects, the worst road trip he has ever been a part of. Trucy likes to sing along to the radio – she has a surprisingly good voice – which stops Clay from starting up his usual road trip tradition of bellowing out “Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall” and seeing how much he can get through before someone slaps him. Trucy claimed shotgun, as “the woman with the magic map”, meaning Apollo is shunted to the back with Ema, who upends her bag on the floor to pull from it a jumbo-sized pack of Snackoos and offer a handful to him.

“None for us?” Clay asks, pouting in the rearview mirror.

“Backseat privileges,” Ema replies.

Trucy cranks the radio up as a familiar guitar riff begins.

If it’s extortion, it works; she and Clay have not finished the first verse, Trucy’s almost-operatic interpretation running up against Clay’s off-key warbling, before Ema is shoving the Snackoos up between their seats, offering a trade of chocolates for an end to the car-vibrating force of Guilty Love.

“Not a fan?” Clay asks.

Ema groans. So does Trucy. “Don’t get me started,” Ema says.

“Yeah, please don’t,” Trucy adds.

“He’s a pretentious fuckin’ diva who—”

Trucy begins yelling out the chorus to the song over the second verse emitting from the radio.

They are all still arguing – Ema berating Clay’s taste in music while Trucy moves into an attempt to sing My Boyfriend is the Prosecution’s Witness to the tune of Guilty Love and Apollo tries to turn the volatile atmosphere anywhere else – when the song ends. Trucy shushes everyone, violently, smacking Clay on the arm and then flailing back at Ema, and turns up the radio. A DJ is in the middle of saying something.

“—announced today on their social media. While fans are disappointed, no one can say that the break-up comes as a surprise, after the sentencing of guitarist Daryan Crescend for murder in July, and the three months of, ahem, radio silence that’s followed. And earlier this week, leader singer Klavier Gavin’s brother was indicted on a second count of murder – I can’t say I blame him for maybe wanting to duck out of the spotlight. Gavin’s brother was previously charged in April, for—”

Trucy changes the channel. A commercial for a local furniture outlet doesn’t help break the awkward spell fallen over them. “Yeah,” she says, after a full minute, during which time they discover their new channel is a country music channel. “No real surprise.”

“Brother and bandmate,” Clay says quietly. “Hell of a year.”

“Hell of a six months,” Apollo says. And he was there for all of it – he was there for more of it than Klavier ever was. Klavier wasn’t there in April, not when Kristoph fell, not when any of them could have had any idea what was ahead. How much magic would surround them.

“If my older sister had been convicted of murder, I was gonna crawl into the dirt and die,” Ema says, “so I’m with the fop on that one, actually.”

There is a worrying lack of hypotheticals in the second half of Ema’s scenario. No “would have”s. Like she was where Klavier is, but the trial had a different outcome, and the frozen expression on her face, her eyes gone blank, she looks like she has caught up with her own words. Said too much. Apollo doesn’t know much about her as a person, her life before failing the forensics exam, how it was that she knew Mr Wright, but he can sympathize with that fear of having given away too much, turned the conversation down a path that should stay blocked off.

“You have a sister?” Trucy asks, turning around in her seat. “You seemed kinda ‘only-child’ to me.’ “Yeah,” Ema says quietly. “Older sister. Her name’s Lana. We don’t… talk much.”

Apollo doesn’t know why the name feels like it strikes something in his brain, the way Ema’s did when she first introduced herself.

“Oh.” Trucy visibly wilts. “Sorry.”

Ema shrugs, slumping back against her seat, her arms folded. “It happens,” she says. Her eyes are glazed over, settled in Clay’s direction. Her mouth quirks in the beginnings of a smile. “She took me to the Space Museum once, not long after it first opened.” The wistful smile has grown a little larger. “Back when I didn’t know what kind of scientist I wanted to be, so I wanted to go everywhere, and she was like ‘Ema I’m not taking you to the fucking tar pits again, how about space?’, and—” She shakes her head. “Sorry. Your jacket got me thinking. Do you work there or something?”

And that is the question that Clay most likes to be asked, that or literally anything else ever about space, and that is the end of any of them getting a word in edgewise – but while Apollo’s heard it all before, Trucy has questions galore, and Ema sits forward, slowly losing the pretense of not being enraptured.

-

They have driven for over two hours by the time Trucy directs them to pull of the highway at an exit that tells them there is nothing for them that way but another 38 miles until Kurain Village. “Is that where the Fair Folk live?” Ema asks dryly, in her voice none of the nervousness that people tend to have. Apollo hasn’t spoken much with her about magic, doesn’t know what she thinks – but, well, she knows Phoenix. That’s clue enough that caution comes secondary.

“Not really,” Trucy says. “They just named it that. It’s part of our world. Sometimes some of the fae do show up and hang around, I think – Maya tried to convince Daddy to move out here, once, apparently, but he wouldn’t leave the office.”

“Who’s Maya?” Apollo asks. Sometimes he realizes how little he knows about Phoenix’s personal life, too.

“Daddy’s friend. She’s – wait, stop! Here! Turn down this road here!”

“This is not a road,” Clay says, hunching over the steering wheel. “This is some dirt, off the road, not even in the shape of a dirt road.”

The car groans as Clay turns it off of the asphalt into the dirt. Trucy pops open the door and stands, holding herself between the door and the car roof and turning her face to the sky and the no-longer-distant mountains looming above them. She says something, muffled, and points into the trees. “We’re close,” she says, ducking back inside the car. “Let’s park and go – we’re close.”

“Park right here?” Clay asks, raising a doubtful eyebrow.

“Barely anyone comes this way,” Trucy says. “Like, one bus, except I’m not even sure if this is on its route. It’s fine.”

“I’m more worried that this is some sort of sacred ground that we’re stomping on,” Clay says, but he turns the key and then smacks his head against the top of the wheel. “How much are we going to regret just walking out there?”

“Probably we won’t,” Trucy says. She flings the door open and jumps out, stretching her arms up into the air. “C’mon already!”

“So what are we doing now?” Ema asks, crumpling the Snackoos bag back into her bag and tumbling forth from the car like a liquid spilled. “Just walking into the woods until we find treasure or a bear?”

“We do have a map.” Trucy waves it at her. “But yes. That’s what we’re doing.” She lowers the page halfway to her side and then stops, tilting her head back. “I’ve been here before,” she says. “Grandpappy and I – sometime – sometime after my mom died.” She takes a few slow steps toward the treeline, her movements uneven, as in a daze. “It was just the two of us. And we came here, and we buried—” She spins around, eyes wide, looking at all and none of them. “We buried his grimoire.”

Without another word of warning, she dashes into the woods, sending them scrambling to catch up to her. It’s colder here than in the city, though Apollo didn’t think they went up too far in elevation. Leaves thickly coat the ground; do they hide rings of flowers beneath them or do those in their magic break through? They finally reach Trucy when she, focused on her map, walks straight into a tree and takes some time to properly reorient herself.

“Do you know why here, of all places?” Apollo asks. “Is it because of the mountains, and he was…?”

He stops. Does Trucy know what her grandfather was? Phoenix didn’t say. Of course he didn’t.

“He said this is where he landed,” Trucy replies, crunching a leaf beneath her foot. “He said he fell, and this is where he landed.”

“Was he—” Clay’s sense, that question that they all know they shouldn’t ask, that question that Apollo has asked again and again anyway, wars against curiosity, against more than wanting to know – needing to know, to understand what is Trucy’s family. “Was he, erm, one of – Them?”

He can’t even bring himself to offer up one of the epithets. This close to the mountains, Apollo isn’t sure that he could bring himself to speak of them plainly like he has learned to.

“Yeah,” Trucy says. “But I’m human. Don’t worry.” She flashes a grin, one of her usual grins, but it is tempered by the speed with which is vanishes from her face again, replaced by a frown of concentration. “I think we must be close, but not quite yet.”

“Hey, Trucy?” Ema asks. She pushes a branch out of the way and it snaps back to nearly strike Clay in the face. “Not to pry, but – if your grandfather was one of the Fair Folk, are you the changeling, or was it your mother?”

Trucy stops.

“Wait,” Ema says. “Not a changeling – that’s the fae child. The human kid, the one swapped out. Is there a word for that?”

“I don’t think so,” Trucy says. She hops over a log. “I don’t think there’s a name for people like that.”

She doesn’t answer the first question. Maybe she doesn’t know, either.

“When you say you buried it,” Apollo says, aware that there is nothing subtle about this lifeline he is throwing to pull her away from questions best left avoided (am I a child stolen away, raised by the fae? Did they take me from the life I should have had?), “have we come all this way to be foiled for want of a shovel?”

“Oh fuck,” Trucy says.

“Hey!” Ema barks, her sharp rebuke the manifestation of that urge Apollo feels to scold her for that. “Language, young missy!” She folds her arms across her chest, her glare a fond one. “Where did you learn that?”

“My daddy’s a card shark,” Trucy says, countering Ema with a smug grin of her own.

“I thought he was a piano player,” Clay says.

“Only because you’ve never heard him play,” Trucy replies. “Easy mistake to make.”

“Considering it was all magic that hid the map,” Ema says, with nary a pause to acclimate everyone to the idea of throwing the conversation back past that latest sharp turn, “wouldn’t it be magic to hide it again, logically speaking?”

“Where’s the logic here?” Clay asks. Ema snaps a twig off a bush and flicks it at him. “And I mean, if it’s just covered up with some illusion, couldn’t anyone stumble into it?”

“Maybe it takes the map, too,” Apollo says. “Or maybe only a Gramarye can unveil it.”

He steps up onto a tree stump, like the extra five inches can grant him some kind of special insight or a better view in the forest of brown. Then he is falling, the wood rot giving way beneath his foot, a sharp jolt running up his leg from the twist of his foot. “Shit!”

Trucy winces. “Ouch. Poor Polly. I—”

“Apollo,” Ema says, very seriously, but somewhat muffled by her hand over her mouth. “Move. Move right now.”

“What?” He sits up, dislodging his foot from the stump, and looks about himself. The forest floor of dead leaves has cleared, as though by a strong, concentrated wind, revealing browned dead grass encased by a perfect circle of blue flowers. “Oh. Oh shit.”

Without an ounce of grace, still on his hands and knees, he scrambles and rolls his way out of the faery ring. “So according to the map,” Trucy says, and above his head Apollo hears the flutter of the paper, “I think we found it.”

“Only a Gramarye, huh,” Clay says dryly.

“That was only supposition!”

“So who’s gonna stick their hand in a rotten tree stump?” Ema asks, producing a flashlight from her bag and shining the beam down into it. “I volunteer Trucy, because she’s wearing gloves, and is our Gramarye.”

Trucy kicks up the leaves on her approach, searching for hints of another ring around the stump, more than just Apollo’s that sits adjacent to it. “If I get bit by a squirrel and get rabies and die, it’s your fault,” she says, kneeling down next to the stump and brushing her hair back to peer down into it.

“Statistically, your chance of getting rabies from a squirrel is negligible,” Ema says. “That shouldn’t be your worry.”

“What should I worry about, then?” Trucy asks. “Can you bring the light a little closer?”

“Bats, racoons, foxes, feral cats and dogs, and right now, probably non-rabies Fair Folk curses, since we’re fucking around by a ring.”

“I’m still concerned about bears,” Clay says.

“I’m not,” Ema says. “I’ve already got my plan, which is to trip you into its path.”

“General ‘you’, or me, specifically?”

“You specifically. Nothing personal, though. I just know Trucy and Apollo better than you.”

“This is way heavier than I thought,” Trucy says, falling off-balance and dropping something dark and rectangular. “Oof! Okay. Okay. We got it!” She lifts it up onto her knees, a thick book with a black cover and a character emblazoned in flowing purple script on it. “I knew I remembered this.” Her voice is quieter as she opens the book and flips through the rough-edged pages. “Grandpappy’s grimoire.” She closes the cover again, reverently, and keeps it balanced on her legs as she turns back to the stump. “Light again, please. I thought I saw something else.” Trucy has her head nearly in the hole, which can’t help her with her light situation, and she sits back and plunges her hand in again. “Yep! This is a – a funny-looking magatama?”

She holds it up, the blue stone sparkling in the flashlight beam, but also seemingly with its own interior glow, and Apollo gasps.

Three sets of eyes turn to him.

“That’s a mitamah,” he says, and to his own ears he sounds like he’s choking, but he feels like he’s choking too, and maybe the others don’t notice but he doubts it. “That’s someone’s soul.”

Trucy drops it into the leaves.

“What?” Clay looks suspicious – Trucy looks horrified. “How do you know?”

(“There’s no reason to give away your soul,” Dhurke told them, sternly, the sternest he ever got. “Never.” And then they tried to argue, to come up with reasons, because of course they did, and he hugged them both close. “You’ll make great lawyers someday, always looking for reasons and other ways, but this one – promise me. Nahyuta. Apollo.” He prodded each of them in the chest. “Don’t let someone else get their hands on your soul.”)

“The tail of it is different.” Apollo picks it up, brushing off the dirt and leaf particles that cling to it, and points to the longer, squiggling protrusion that extends from the loop. It doesn’t fully connect like a magatama, either, more like a hook than a circle.

It feels warm in his hand, humming through his fingers and up into his ears. It reminds him of the office – familiar, but disturbing, because there is no reason that it should feel so familiar and comforting.

“Could it be your grandfather’s?” Ema asks.

“Wouldn’t that mean he’s still alive?” Clay asks. “Is that possible?”

“It couldn’t be,” Apollo says. If he stares at the mitamah he thinks he can see flecks of gold within the blue, like stars on a constellation chart. “The Fair Folk don’t have souls like we do. They can’t sell them or manifest them like this.”

“Is that why they want human souls?” Ema asks.

“How do you know?” Clay repeats.

Apollo’s heart has stoppered up his throat.

“It makes them stronger,” Trucy says softly. “When they buy names, or souls, it makes their magic stronger. But this – this can’t be that.” She hugs the grimoire up to her chest. “It can’t just be that.”

“Should we just… put it back?” Ema asks. “Someone’s probably looking for it, right?”

“It’s been seven years and no one has come before us,” Apollo says. The humming isn’t as steady now, seems more like a song, and familiar, damned familiar. “No, we can’t just leave her here.”

In the silence, even the song seems to stop. “What?” Apollo asks. Their three sets of eyes are on him again, even more piercing, Trucy’s wide and Clay’s narrowed and Ema’s narrowing too.

“‘Her’?” Ema repeats. “Why ‘her’?”

“I…” Apollo swallows his heart. “I don’t know, but I… I know?”

“I don’t think you should be holding that in your bare hands,” Clay says.

But the alternative seems to be dropping her in the dirt again, and Apollo’s fingers curl tighter around the stone. He can’t do that, either. Trucy unties her scarf from around her neck and silently passes it to him, letting him wrap the stone up in the red fabric and then cradle it close again. The song thrumming in his ears ceases. “I guess we should take it to Mr Wright and ask him if he knows what to do,” Ema says. “He’ll know what to do with it. Her?”

Trucy’s gaze is unfocused, her head slowly drifting away from the horizon back toward the stump. “Trucy?” Apollo asks. “Are you okay?”

“He wouldn’t do that,” she says. “Just buy up someone’s soul all for himself. He wouldn’t. There had to be some other reason. It wasn’t just power, there had to be a good reason.”

(“There’s no reason,” Dhurke said. “Never.”)

“He gave me magic, as a gift,” Trucy says. “He was a good man.” She looks up at Apollo, blinking her blue eyes furiously. “Wasn’t he?”

-

It takes them another forty-five minutes to stumble out of the woods and find Clay’s car again. Ema makes everyone nervous talking about the odds of them stumbling across a body decomposing in the undergrowth – “I have zero desire to ever get caught up in one of your murder investigations,” Clay says, picking up a branch from the bushes and brandishing it like a baseball bat – and bears. The two of them are at least doing a good job of filling the silence left by Trucy, uncomfortably quiet, walking in a trace. Apollo tugs her by the arm out of the way of trees. He could put the mitamah in his pocket but hasn’t, has kept it held close to his chest.

The story that Phoenix spun of the Gramaryes is gnawing at him. A woman, on the bad end of a deal with Magnifi – Apollo doesn’t want to think about the possibility.

(Trucy must be thinking about the possibility, mustn’t she?)

She crawls into the back seat of the car, depositing the grimoire in the middle, and Ema makes a mad dash for the front seat, leaving Apollo to sit on the other side of the grimoire, separated by it from Trucy. The only time she speaks is to call Phoenix and ask him if he is at the office – he is, because she directs Clay to go back to the office.

It is a long, quiet ride home, some subdued conversation between Ema and Clay about their fields of science rising over the country music still on the radio. Trucy taps Apollo’s hand and beckons him to hand her the mitamah. She takes off one of her gloves and weighs it in her hand with an ever-deepening frown until she wraps it back up and passes it back to Apollo.

Ema shouts “Yellow car!” and hits Clay on the shoulder. He hits her back and tells her that she needs to specify no punch-backs next time.

-

Phoenix is sitting on the floor leaning against the couch with two notebooks and a stack of papers spread out in front of him, the coffee table shoved to the side, a pencil in his mouth and another tucked behind his ear, when they stagger into the office. Apollo is mediating an argument about the merits of Eldoon’s for a late lunch – Ema does not want to brave it, while Clay wants nothing more than to do so. Phoenix does not look up.

“Hey, Daddy,” Trucy says wearily.

His head snaps up, dislodging the pencil behind his ear. “What’s wrong?”

“You always complain about your back hurting, and now look what you’re doing.” Trucy’s words sound forced through a smile. Phoenix’s frown deepens. He watches Trucy walk past him to deposit the grimoire on his desk.

“We went looking into the envelope you gave her the other day,” Apollo says. “The real last page.”

Phoenix doesn’t look back from Trucy right away. “A full expedition team, huh?” he asks, raising one eyebrow as he looks over Ema and Clay. “Who’s this?”

“Er, oh, yeah. I’m Clay Terran. Apollo’s roommate.” Clay points with his thumb at Apollo, even though they all know there is only one Apollo that they know. “You’re Mr Wright, yeah?” He doesn’t do a good job of feigning enthusiasm.

“I know that look,” Phoenix says, standing with a wince and an audible crack of some of his joints. “That’s the ‘I’ve heard about you and it’s nothing good’ look.” He lets Clay splutter for a full two seconds before he grins crookedly and adds, “That’s fair.” Almost immediately, his expression flattens out to something stern and almost entirely foreign. “Trucy,” he calls. “What’s wrong?”

“We found my grandfather’s grimoire,” she says, sitting on the desk and holding it up, only for it to slip from her hands and crash to the floor. “And Polly has the other thing that was with it.”

Apollo unwraps the mitamah.

Has he ever seen Phoenix surprised? The man spent seven years an unbeaten poker player, and this past half-year absolutely inscrutable to Apollo’s eyes. There is nothing controlled in his reaction; his mouth falls open and his eyes go wide, turning blue immediately and staying blue, horror apparent in how they linger on the mitamah. “Oh,” he breathes. “That is – yeah.”

He reaches forward with trembling hands and scoops up the scarf spread across Apollo’s hands. He holds it cradled close, too, his free hand cupped beneath the one holding it, prepared to catch the stone should it slip, but still not having touched it with bare skin. “So,” he says. “The ‘source’ of Magnifi’s magic – that grimoire, and this soul.”

“But,” Trucy says, “that…” She stops. She chews on the inside of her cheek. Mr Hat, the wisp, is visible, bobbing frenetically around her shoulders. “It’s…” Her shoulders slump. “Do you know what to do with that, Daddy? Is there a way to know what person a soul belongs to?”

“Not from looking only at the mitamah,” Phoenix answers. His eyes still hollow blue when he turns them back to Trucy. “I am not particularly familiar with mitamahs, honestly, but I��ll look into it and see what I can do to get it back to her.” He takes the stone in one hand and offers Trucy her scarf back. “If the fae who has possession of a soul is still alive, they can just give it back – not that many are willing to, mind – but since he’s dead – well.” He shakes his head. “Thank you, though. For helping Trucy, and bringing this back.”

It’s a firm end to the conversation, not that Apollo knows what more to ask about a soul. Ema, though, is frowning, her arms crossed, her mouth twisting like she is puzzling out something. “We were gonna go get noodles at Eldoon’s,” Apollo says. “If – if you wanted to come, Trucy.”

“Oh!” She looks surprised, like she hadn’t expected to be addressed. “Um.” Her heels bounce against the desk. “Thanks, but I’m okay.”

Her hands, curled around the edge of the desk, shine red. Apollo doesn’t even need that to know she’s lying.

-

“We all agree she’s not okay, right?” Clay asks.

They were silent for a block down from the office, Ema not even complaining about losing the Eldoon’s battle. (Apollo was prepared to tell her that she didn’t have to come, but she had attached herself to them without a cursory protest.)

“Definitely not,” Ema says. “I guess she doesn’t want to believe that her grandfather was the double-dealing type of Folk – which, I’ve read the case file on his death, I’d believe that about him in a hot second. There’s nothing worse than a blackmailer like that. Also.” She plants herself firmly in the sidewalk. Apollo and Clay both bump into her. “None of us referred to the mitamah as ‘she’ or ‘her’, right? Like you were, Apollo.”

“None of us but Trucy even talked about it,” Apollo says. Clay nods. “Why?”

“Because Mr Wright did.” Ema’s forehead creases. “He said he would ‘get it back to her’. He wasn’t even touching it, was he?” Apollo shrugs. Ema shrugs too. “He knows something. More than he said.”

“He always does,” Apollo says.

They reach Eldoon’s, and Ema says that it’s weird to see the stand without a corpse attached. The look that Clay gives her makes her and Apollo both laugh. Once they have their noodles, they walk another few blocks to People Park and find a bench not far from where the noodle-stand crime scene once stood. Apollo has learned to be grateful for the mouthfuls of broth that taste of so much salt to sting. It feels a little more like safety, like salt across a doorway.

He starts to say what he’s thinking, that Trucy might be worried that the mitamah is her mother’s, or at least he is, but the words die on his tongue, shriveled by the salt. He doesn’t feel right to tell Clay and Ema about Trucy’s mother’s death, when he has no idea if Trucy knows or not. Phoenix has made him the guardian of family secrets that aren’t his and something about that feels wrong. Maybe necessary in some way, to understand the case, to understand what happened with Kristoph, but still wrong.

Instead, he helps Ema explain to Clay her earlier comments about Magnifi and blackmail. You can’t refuse, and we both know the reason why – Trucy can’t know he did that. She seemed to idolize him. What a hard way to fall.

He’ll text her tomorrow, Apollo decides. Check in, see how she’s doing.

(There’s probably someone else he should check in with, too, the events of this week all considered.)

[kristie-rp]

[2018] Garrett: Turning

It is a truth universally acknowledged that anyone acting particularly weird in the hospital must be in want of Doctor Vincent Constantine. 

Okay, no, that’s not true, exactly. It’s more a truth acknowledged only within the hospital itself, and weirdness is relative, and they don’t always know they need Constantine’s expertise. That’s just how it gets explained to Garrett when he starts his placement during med school, by a curly haired woman speaking behind her hand in a stage whisper. Doctor Constantine himself snorts and shoots her an unimpressed look, and does a double take when he sees Garrett. There’s something vaguely familiar in it, and the intern smiles politely. “Hi, Doctor Constantine.” 

“Call me Vincent,” comes the reply. “She’s right, in a manner of speaking. If something seems particularly... peculiar, then I am the resident expert. Feel free to come to me.”

Garrett doesn’t think much about it, afterwards. The thing is, he doesn’t work in Vincent’s department, at least not at first. The older man operates largely out of the basement, where a morgue would be in any other hospital: it has been turned into a ward, and the windows of half the rooms are blacked out with heavy tarps. It’s eerie. When Garrett brings his toddler daughter April to work some days, when she is too young to be home alone and not able to be at daycare, she tends to spend time with the old man. He doesn’t get it, but he allows it. 

He’s been a fully qualified medical practitioner employed by the hospital for eight months before he thinks about the description of Vincent’s specialisation. A couple have brought in their terrified daughter, who is incredibly pretty for a human child and also very quick-witted and persuasive. She has talked the nurse out of at least three lollipops before Garrett arrives in the room to introduce himself and shoo the nurse away. 

“Do you really need so many,” her mother is asking a little helplessly, taking the third one from her daughter. The little girl shrugs, and asks her dad to get her some water, please, from the vending machine. Because her mother is the one with money, she goes, too. The little girl is alone with Garrett. 

“They think I’m sick,” she informs him flatly, pouting slightly. “I don’t think they’re wrong. I mean. I know I’m not like the other girls. And there are these.” She tugs at her beanie and it lifts away to reveal small horns on her forehead. She is very careful not to rip the wool. “My mom’s worried.”

“Cutaneous horns aren’t unheard of,” Garrett tries. He doubts it’s that simple; the very sentence sits wrong on his tongue. Plus, every instance of cutaneous horns he’s heard of presented in the elderly. 

The little girl, apparently, is aware of this. “I know how to Google,” she says dismissively, “and I know only old people have that happen. So why is this happening to me now?” 

Garrett hesitates. He can order tests – of course he can. But something gives him pause. The mother and father return, and Garrett makes up his mind: he leans out of the door to catch a nurse as she passes by. “Hi, sorry – can you run down to the basement and find Doctor Constantine, please? I need a consult.” 

The nurse looks at him curiously, but returns in fifteen minutes with Vincent himself. He looks between the couple. “Are you her father?” 

The man shakes his head. “We adopted her a few years ago,” he explains. The little girl doesn’t seem bothered by this, and her mother has rested a hand on her little girls shoulder. “We have the record of her biological parents medical information –” 

The mother starts to search in her bag for the papers. Vincent stops her with a wave of her hand. “No matter, they won’t be accurate.” 

The parents make outraged sounds, and the little girl blinks at him. “You know what’s wrong with me?” she asks. Her voice is much smaller than it was earlier, alone with Garrett. He can’t blame her, really; Vincent has that effect on people. 

“Have any of you heard of a Cambion?” is what Vincent asks, completely without preamble. Garrett starts, because he’s heard of those, in fascinated Wikipedia spirals that almost always end with him looking up different takes on mythological beings – and this doctor, whom he respects, is talking as though the creature is real. “It is the result of a sexual union between an Incubus and a human woman. I’d bet the mother listed her boyfriends information before giving her up, knowing exactly what she was getting into.” He pauses, addressing the girl directly. “The horns may be surgically removed once they are fully grown, but that won’t happen until you’ve completed puberty. You likely had almost no pulse until you were seven, and you’ve likely noticed you barely need to breathe. You’re clever and beautiful, more than human girls, and you’re persuasive. Many would call you manipulative. Does this sound right?” The little girl is staring at him, somewhere between dumbfounded and fascinated. Garrett can see in her face that this explains everything. “You have the potential to be evil, but with good parents – nurture over nature, all that – it can be subverted or at least limited. Any questions?” 

If there are, Garrett doesn’t hear them, watching the girls face instead. He can’t see Vincent’s, but that girl is looking at him like he told her the meaning of life, and has no longer left her confused and wanting, unsure what she is. 

Garrett doesn’t know if he entirely believes the story, but he’s half-way there. It helps that the little girl pauses to give him a hug and to thank him on the way out, beanie back in place.

Garrett’s co-workers think that his fascination with Vincent’s so-called department – which exists primarily due to the Constantine’s donating more money to the hospital than the accounting department is willing to disclose – is ridiculous and confusing. They think Vincent is insane, or delusional, or at least eccentric, for all they respect him as their fellow doctor. But every single one of them is willing to call the older man for a consult when the situation calls for it, which is really all Garrett can hope for, so he mostly ignores the opportunities to mock them.

(Mostly, because sometimes he cannot bite his tongue fast enough to ensure he is less sarcastic in the workplace than he is at home, with April, who by now is a teenager who really ought to have a more sincere parental figure to turn to.) 

Anyway: it is not uncommon for Garrett to visit Vincent’s basement, either to ask pointed questions or chat with patients kept so separate from the others. He does this more predictably on the nights when April is not supposed to be coming home, and tonight she is staying at a friends place while they work on a project for class. He does not have to be home in time for dinner, so he meanders down to where he can visit at his own pace. 

There is a woman with albinism in one room. She greets him warmly, as she had the last time he’d been here, by putting on a terrible Transylvanian accent and calling herself a vampire. Garrett quirks a brow at her, thinking something along the lines of you wouldn’t be quite that pale if you dined on blood, Zoe. She laughs aloud. “Alright, fair enough, I’ll let you have that one. Stop by on your way out, Doc,” she insists, and he can almost feel the idea settling in his mind, ensuring he will do as asked later. 

“Is your tail ever going to heal?” Garrett asks the man in the next room, curious.

The merman with his blue-tinted skin snorts, his teeth growing in jagged rows; according to what he’s told them, he is a hybrid of some sharks that wouldn’t ever frequent the bay around Port Lyndon. “I’m not the doctor,” he says, splashing impatiently. He is caught halfway between human and mer form, and the pain shows in how pale around the gills he is. “Ask Vince.” 

“Yeah, sure, I’ll get right on that. Straight after my stopover at H.L. to let them know what I am,” Garrett retorts, earning a laugh from the mer as he splashes contentedly. 

He stops at the door of the selkie to smile and let her know that he’s passing through, because he knows she’s mostly here because of the debilitating anxiety that came from losing her pelt – only she hasn’t felt compelled to actually go to anyone, so it isn’t stolen, just legitimately lost. There’d be more chance of finding it if it was stolen, from what Garrett understands – it is hard to get her to talk, because Vincent is the expert, and he’s not exactly personable. 

The next room was home to a slightly burned dryad the last time he was here, but his bark was basically finished moulting, which means he should be gone, and the room should be empty. Garrett opens the door to check, eyes widening when he instead gets an eyeful of a wolf-like being – it’s a fully transformed werewolf, he knows that – and yet his immediate panicked reaction is to step closer and slam the door closed.

Yeah, his self-preservation instincts have always been terrible, he is aware. He does things like drink hot sauce on a dare (college) and break into his parents liquor cabinet (high school) and grab the arms of angry looking people on crutches to prevent them from walking into traffic (summer between high school and college, and actually he’s proud of that one). He has a feeling he’d step in front of a gunman to save someone, even a stranger.

That might explain locking himself in with an angry looking werewolf. One that’s currently edging closer. 

“Crap,” he croaks, panic making his voice crack, and presses himself against the door. 

He blacks out. 

It’s probably for the best.

“I have to hand it to you, Garrett,” a familiar voice is saying when he comes to, blinking at a white tile ceiling, “if you were going to be infected by a supernatural condition, this is probably the best possible place you could’ve done it.” 

“That’s nice,” Garrett says. He thinks he sounds about as sarcastic as usual, but he might be a little dazed. It’s something to do with the fact that he can make out the little specks across the surface of the tiles, which is weird, because he should be wearing glasses, and he can’t feel them on his face. “I think my veins are on fire.” 

“That’d be the wolfsbane,” the voice answers, apparently unbothered. It’s Vincent. Garrett is not surprised. 

Garrett closes his eyes. “You’re suppressing a transformation, aren’t you. Isn’t that a bad idea?” 

“Which one of us is the expert?” 

Garrett scoffs. “Which one of us is a werewolf?” 

There’s a long silence that makes Garrett want to open his eyes, but it’s bad enough that he can hear a heartbeat that he’s pretty sure isn’t close enough to be Vincent. Which means his co-worker doesn’t have a heartbeat. Which – he had to pass a medical to get this job; how did Vincent get the job with no heartbeat, without causing some sort of crisis? He keeps his eyes firmly shut, thanks ever so much. “Touché,” Vincent says at last, and Garrett can hear the amusement in his voice. 

“How long was I out?” 

“A couple of hours. Your phone rang; it was your daughter. She’ll be here soon.” 

“Sure, that’s a brilliant idea,” he mutters, sarcasm heavy in his voice. Garrett’s eyes fly open and he sits up a little quicker than he would like, blinking against the abrupt change of scenery and the headrush. “By which I mean, you just said I’m a newly turned werewolf, Vincent, what the fuck?” 

“At least you already know werewolves exist,” he says.

It’s not helpful. Garrett gives him the glare he thinks he deserves, and then lays back down, pressing his palms into his closed eyes. Maybe if he thinks hard enough, this will go away. “I can’t be a werewolf,” he says, as if it will change anything. “I have a teenage daughter. I’m a medical doctor. I work night shift half the time, I can’t take every full moon off!” 

“That’s what the wolfsbane is for.” 

“Oh, right. How could I forget? My veins feel like they’re actually on fire and this is the only way to not turn into a wolf that will bite anyone around.” 

“You’re a very negative person, aren’t you?” 

Garrett grimaces. He’s just realized what the heartbeat he can hear actually is, and attempts to peer at the other occupant of the room, the one he missed. “Sorry, Dave. I didn’t mean any offence. Much.” 

Dave, the werewolf responsible for this entire thing, snorts, but it sounds half-hearted and exhausted. He is trembling. “I should be the one apologizing. I ruined your life, man. I owe you.” 

“Should I be worried about the shaking?” 

“Doc didn’t give me any ‘bane until I’d already transformed, is all. Remember to take it like you’re s’posed to and it works out better.” 

“Great.” Garrett takes medication for anxiety on the daily. He now has to add injections of liquidated wolfsbane to his schedule at least once a month, twice in a blue moon, and he really doesn’t want to wish harm on Dave – so he doesn’t. He closes his eyes again, takes a deep, supposedly steadying breath. “This is just what I needed.” 

“Dad?” 

Garrett opens his eyes and looks up. April is standing over him with a look of concern, the door open behind where his head has been resting this entire time. “Hey, sweetie,” he says, trying for a sincere smile. He doesn’t know how close he gets as she dumps her bag and kneels down beside him. “I hear your sleepover wasn’t that great.” 

“Muriel is being mean, so I called to come home. Vincent said you were – hurt?” 

“Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just – um.” Garrett pauses. He cannot lie to his daughter, she needs to know what is going on. It isn’t fair to keep her in the dark. 

He has to tell her about supernaturals, if she hasn’t guessed already.

Garrett groans aloud, pressing his palms back into his eye sockets. “Remind me to kill you later,” he mutters. “It’s the least you deserve.” 

Vincent snorts, and Dave’s noise is more like a whimper. There’s something decidedly lupine in it, and that’s exactly the sort of thing Garrett needs to hear right now. 

“So,” he starts, pulling his eyes away, “you know how there are humans in the world, and they have different races? African, Asian, Caucasian, Mongoloid.” 

“Yes...?”

“Well, those differences are just aesthetic. The differences that actually matter a little bit are the ones that make human beings into something – supernatural.” 

There’s quiet for a long moment. “Are you trying to make a joke about that TV show?” April asks, wary. 

Garrett sighs. He wishes he was. “I wish I was,” he says, “but what I’m actually saying is that vampires and werewolves and dryads and all that – it’s real. That’s what’s special about Vincent’s patients. That’s why they are in the basements, that’s why pretty much everyone avoids him and thinks he’s insane.” 

“Hey,” Vincent says. It’s mild enough that Garrett doesn’t believe he actually cares. 

“Also, that’s Dave. Say hi to Dave.” He waits for April to wave awkwardly at the patient. “He’s a werewolf. And he bit me.”