#sure im asexual but im aromantic first and foremost

[luxeberries]

yes im aromantic and asexual. no i dont identify with the asexual or aroace labels. what isnt to understand

[gayestcowboy]

im not the person who sent the aphobe ask, but i think i might be able to clarify what they meant by “reblogging posts from aphobes”. obviously i cant be 100% certain, but i dont think they just meant random posts that have nothing to do with asexuality and just happen to be made by aphobes, they meant suspicious content which is a cover or dogwhistle for aphobia itself. i havent seen any recently but i remember a while back you reblogged a joke about queerplatonic polycules which immediately raised red flags for me as an aromantic person, and after checking op’s blog i confirmed they were an aphobe. but the thing about posts like that is that i rlly cant blame you for not realizing its aphobic bc if youre not ace or aro yourself you might not be used to the specific and seemingly harmless ways aphobes bully us or disguise their disgust for us as just funny jokes. i only recognized it because im used to being the target of it. im glad to hear a clarification of your stance on aphobia and really glad to hear that you want to be told when you reblog stuff from problematic accounts, bc i remember back then i wanted to say something but i was too afraid. its really hard to speak up as an aro person when its just so normalized for queer people to make fun of aspec people. so genuinely thank you a lot for making it clear how you feel about aspec ppl and aphobia, i hope youre having a wonderful day :>

thank you for sending this in anon i also hope you’re having a good day! and yes if i do ever reblog something with legitimate aphobic undertones or whatever please do tell me especially because i’m not asexual and i still want to make sure i’m not doing anything aphobic on accident. it is first and foremost my own responsibility to not be aphobic but please don’t be afraid to call me out if i am! (and this goes for anything, not just aphobia)

[homestucky]

ok time to do a sort of a vent post  which i may regret and delete but i got lotso thoughts

i been doin a lot of my classic Lindsaylohac Self Indulgent Navel Gazing(TM) because obviously, 

and anyways in this time i been trying to figure myself out a bit. ive probably already ranted about this but anyways. im kind of feeling like maybe im aromantic and asexual altho im still not 100% but its just rlly made me have some interesting revelations

and i know theres a lot of discourse atm about ace stuff and honestly im not commenting on any of that (for one thing its not like theres one big idea being debated there, from what i can see theres loads of different questions and issues so i dont know how people can take such confident stances... seems like theres no clear cut like “sides” so to speak, just like........... a big mess)

ANYWAYS

im kind of freaked out by it all, just because i feel like ive just sort of realised how much about attraction that i never knew because no one ever explains it because youre meant to just feel it at some point and thats how you know BUT I DONT KNOW and i need someone to tell me because i dont understand it and i only recently realised how badly i dont understand it like ive been on forums with a bunch of aroace people and we were all being like ‘woa guys i just found out that romantic feelings are meant to feel DIFFERENT to friendship, guess i might be aro too lol’ and a bunch of other people responding like wait WHAT is that how its meant to feel????? nobody ever told me that!!! 

and i just

hhh

at the moment theres a bit of tumblr content making fun of ace people a little like people saying that being on the ace spectrum doesnt exist because thats just called ‘not sleeping with everyone you see lol’ and other stuff but like this is legit.. this is different to ‘having standards’ or ‘waiting for the right person’ or any decision like that.. this feels at least at the moment like im built to have zero comprehension for anything involving relationships or attraction. it feels like a rlly important distinction to me. like its not a choice im making.. i feel colour blind

dont get me wrong i know i am a privileged person in a lot of ways. and while i dont think i feel like i can call myself het, im not about to try and muscle in on the lgbt community, or attempt use that as a get out of jail free card so i can.. like, hide ignorance or prejudice behind ‘im not het, so i cant be problematic!’. and im certainly not about to start saying im being oppressed by gay ppl or something stupid like that, im not. first and foremost when it comes to sexuality n identity politics i want to listen and to be a good ally because my sexuality doesnt have prejudice against it directly as much as it just isnt really discussed. which has its own problems sure, but ykno. 

i wuld kind of dig it if asexuality and aromanticism were more widely talked abt or represented at least so people know what it is in case thats what they are because obviously a) its just nice to see but mainly b) i and many other people like me im sure have gotten myself into situations or almost gotten myself into situations because i didnt understand them or didnt understand that what i was feeling wasnt ‘feelings’. because otherwise u can just sort of.. end up doing what you think a ‘normal’ person would do. and it sort of sucks and is confusing

nd by representation i do NOT mean white men who are depicted as highly intellectual, cold, alien, or robotic, who’ve like, ‘deleted’ sexuality for efficiency, but then always ALWAYS still end up somehow having an implied relationship with ONE SPECIAL WOMAN because shes just SO SPECIAL he has to make an exception because thats nothing. thats useless. stop.

so basically in conclusion heternormativity sucks for everyone and i want it to be destroyed