#supposed to be going on a 2 week long road trip tomorrow but we took the car in for a service and . theres $6000 worth of repairs needed

[myloveforhergoeson]

That's All She Wrote - Chapter 19

Chapter Index

Find me on wattpad + ao3!

Show: Big Time Rush

Pairing: James Diamond x Original Female Character

Chapter 19: No Sleep Till Brooklyn ~ 11k

Jo and Camille,

You’ll never believe who took my phone the first day of tour and refuses to give it back because “I have more important things to be focused on right now.”

I KNOW HE CHANGED MY LIFE BUT SOMETIMES I HATE GUSTAVO ROCQUE. And I’d never say I hate Kelly, but I am upset she let him do that… SOS!

Thanks to my expert negotiation skills, I’m allowed one call to my Dad per week - like this is some kind of prison or something - so I’m going to do my best to write letters to both of you in order to keep you updated.

While it took a long time for Gustavo, Kelly, and I to map out this tour path, I didn’t think about what it would mean to be crammed on a handful of buses with both the band and our musical accompaniment. Our lovely producer and talent scout get to take flights and stay in five-star hotels, but I’m okay to travel by bus. I’ve only been to Minnesota, Wisconsin, and California, so I’m excited to see the country this way. First stop - Orlando! In three days!

We booked three buses, one for the musical accompaniment (technically I’m one of them I suppose, but the boys say they hate road trips with Logan, so I just snuck onto the bus he’s on to keep him company), and two for the band. Each one has three tiny bunks, some couches, a full bathroom, most of a kitchen, and plenty of cabinet space for snacks, games, and anything we could possibly need. For now, I’m writing from the couch, sitting next to a napping Logan, and Carlos is up front making friends with the driver, Henrietta. The other bus is currently transporting Kendall and James.

Speaking of, after Gustavo told us the tour was back on after the concert when I came running to you two to tell you what had happened, James practically ran straight to 2-J to pack and hasn’t spoken to me since. I thought I had done everything right but I guess maybe he wasn’t actually into me after all. Maybe just the thrill of surviving a kidnapping?

“I lived through this so now I can kiss Roxy!”

Blegh.

Though, I suppose it might be a good thing… After thinking about it while I was packing I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now, if that’s even something he’s interested in. Sure, I like him, but I think I still need some time to get over what Dak did to me. As much as I don’t enjoy thinking about it, they bare many similarities and that scares me a bit more than I’d like to admit.

Pop stars

Can be self-absorbed

‘Cuda extra strength hairspray

Pretty

I should probably quit while I’m ahead, but I guess I’m gonna learn my lesson if I keep playing with fire and then promptly getting burned.

All my love,

Roxy

***

Hey,

It was so humid in Orlando that it took me an extra hour to fix my hair before the show, but other than that, we had a lot of fun! I’m really proud of the show we put together and getting to perform for a new crowd all the way across the country was so surreal. There are people who know all the words to my songs, more than willing to scream them right in my face… If only that pesky boy band wasn’t in the way.

Just kidding!

Today, we’re heading to Mansfield, Massachusetts - one whole day on the bus and a show tomorrow. I’d look up some facts about the town to share but, you know, no phone or whatever. Warden Rocque hasn’t changed his mind even after the combination of pleading from the five of us…

Before the show in Orlando, I got to talk with the guys in the musical accompaniment band a bit more, they were super nice! Mick, the bass player, is pretty quiet and mostly hangs out with Gustavo and Kelly since they’re old friends, but Austin, the drummer, is our age and easy to get along with! He goes to a performance arts high school in Los Angeles called Hollywood Arts (Can you believe that’s a real thing?! A whole school just for acting, singing, and growing musical talent?!)

Austin and I have somewhat similar music taste, and his father taught him how to play the drums, just like my dad taught me how to play the guitar! We’re alike in many ways, and since 1/4 of Big Time Rush wants to ignore me right now, I think I’ll be spending more time with him…

It’s bad that I thought James might kiss me again at the show last night, right? I stood in the same spot side-stage, putting on the same lipstick and everything, but he and the band just ran past me on the way to the other side of the venue. I wonder if he told them what happened; everyone else is being normal to me.

Logan says he misses you so much, Camille! Quickly followed by a panicked statement, “Not that I don’t care about Jo, it’s just different!” Kendall joined us on the bus today, swapping out with Carlos, and said, “Tell Jo I vow to get my phone back so I can call her again,” and when I asked him why he didn’t write you letters too, he claimed that stamps were too expensive. Perhaps your boyfriend is both illiterate and broke, Jo, and for that I’m sorry.

See you soon, even if soon isn’t soon enough,

Roxy

***

Thought of you both today, and it made me so happy,

We just arrived in Agawam, Massachusetts, which is only two hours away from Mansfield, so we had a quick show turnaround for the day.

I never knew going on tour was so exhausting, it’s like I’m constantly running around the venues, checking our equipment, making sure the proper snacks are in the band’s green rooms, or seeing if the stage crew needs any help. We have two big eighteen-wheelers to carry all of our stage equipment… I can’t imagine being in charge of all that stuff - the stage manager is a saint!

This morning, Gustavo dragged us out of the bus around 6 am to get to a local radio station so the band could promote their show tonight live on the air. They even gave a pair of tickets away to a fan, it was so fun to watch and reminded me a bit of my radio days. I might call my old boss and ask her if BTR can get on Project Pop when we finish our tour in Duluth.

While the band was working out with our athletic trainer to keep in shape for the show this evening, I hung out with Austin a bit more. He was nice enough to show me his drum kit and I think I’m going to ask him to teach me how to play if we have some free time. It looks a lot more fun than the piano, plus I get to hit things. Drums are a crucial part of instrumental songwriting, and I could really use the knowledge of a seasoned drummer to help me learn.

James saw us together today when he made his way to the stage to warm up for the show, and I might be overexaggerating but I think he was a bit put off by it. I thought about talking to him about it, not that I need to ask if it's okay or justify who I hang out with, but I actually think he and Austin would get along really well if he could stand to be in the same room as me for more than 5 minutes.

I think it should be illegal to kiss someone and then promptly ignore them. What if I wanted to kiss him again? And again? And again?

Anyway, I wish mail traveled fast enough that you two could send me replies and I’d be guaranteed to get them at the next venue. It feels a bit like I’m writing to a brick wall here, but it certainly keeps me occupied during our very rare downtime. The couch on this bus has become my unspoken spot (the bunks are too narrow and small for me to feel comfortable in them) and I need to do more than just sleep here, listen to my iPod, or write/play my guitar.

Until the next letter,

Rox

***

Hello!

Too many things happened today for me to record before the show, I’m writing you two a nice list as we drive away to our next stop.

James rode the bus with Logan and me today (a two-hour ride to Saratoga Springs, New York) and the two of them ignored me almost the entire time and just played their stupid video game on the TV. All I got was a “Hey, Rox, can we use the couch?” and some semblance of a thank you when I told him yes. Ugh. Is “Hey, Rox, remember when I kissed you last week? Wasn’t that so awesome? Wanna do it again?” too much for him now? It feels like I sucked all of his fun, flirty, carefree attitude straight out of his body.

I asked Austin if he could teach me how to play the drums and he said yes, as long as I helped him write a song for a fun summer project. Apparently, a good chunk of the kids at his school are songwriters too, how neat! If they write something like a short scene of a play, a song, or a musical composition and present it in the first few weeks of school, they get extra course credit. I wish the Palm Woods school had something like that - I’d be rocking straight A’s the entire year.

It was finally time for me to call my dad today, as per Warden Rocque’s direction, and he’s doing okay. Nothing ever changes with him, so I’m pretty at ease as we travel. Kelly let me put him on the guest list for the Duluth show, and even though I know he won’t really like our music, I think he’ll admire the production. He always wanted to tour around the country, and I hope showing him some backstage magic can help satisfy the teenage rocker he used to be. Maybe it’ll be a good time for him to meet Kendall, Logan, and Carlos too!

The band was recognized in public for the first time today while we were waiting in line for coffee! I’m not sure if the girl posted the photo I happily took of her and the boys to ScuttleButter, but I hope you two can find it so you can see their dazzling, shocked smiles. They were beyond ecstatic; Carlos spilled most of his drink from how hard his hands were shaking with adrenaline. Good thing he wasn’t wearing his concert outfit or Gustavo would’ve thrown a fit.

I was hoping to sneak away and take a train to New York City since we got here so early in the morning, but that is what happened instead. We’re playing Madison Square Garden near the end of the tour, so I’ll see the city then, but I’m worried I’ll be too tired and burnt out to enjoy it.

Warm wishes,

Roxy

***

Friends,

Sorry for the lack of letters these past few days! We’ve been so busy getting from New York to Oklahoma, we haven’t stopped anywhere with a mailbox I could easily find. You know what would make it easier for me to find a post office? Having my phone.

I’ve probably complained about that enough, right?

Over the course of this particular trip, I’ve been traveling with Logan and Carlos and I’m beginning to understand why the boys claim road trips with Logan are tough. He has a pretty strict expectation for cleanliness, which Carlos and I do not adhere to at all - but in helping clean up and placing things in their bunks to help put a rest to Logan’s anxiety this afternoon, I learned he has a picture of you, Camille, tapped to the top of his bunk. It’s been pretty well hidden by the curtain he keeps drawn, but I caught a glimpse of it this afternoon. So romantic!!! I imagine Kendall has something similar of you, Jo, but I’ll have to wait until he’s back in rotation with us to double-check.

I wonder if it’s exhausting for the other three to keep moving around, or if they prefer it that way. For me, I like knowing that Bus 1 is my bus… Having to haul all my stuff from one bus to another feels like an excellent way to lose some of my things.

Do you think if James and I were together he’d have a picture of me in his bunk? The thought of him falling asleep to dreams of me… Seems impossible. And exhausting to work for. If he’s going to be all hot and cold like this, I’m not sure I’d be able to take it, but on the other hand, it’s not like I’m communicating with him either because whenever I even try to bring up anything related to us at all, I freeze up and all the thoughts exit my brain before I can get a word out. Maybe we are made for each other after all since neither of us seems to want to get a word out… The pretty idiot and his idiot songwriter… Haha….

On a separate note, after the show in Tulsa tonight, the band, our bosses, and the musical accompaniment will be headed straight to the airport to catch a flight to Del Mar, California for our next show there in four days. Due to my flight aversion, I get to stay with the buses and gear and travel on the ground to meet them there. It will be interesting to see how I fare, considering I’ve been around the band 24/7 for the last two weeks. Maybe I’ll be able to work on some music distraction-free. I have a few works in progress, both about guys I really don’t want to think about, but once this tour cycle is over there’s no doubt we’re going to begin the process all over again for album 2.

Just paused writing this to pull out my journal and write “All Over Again” down on a blank page. That sounds like a wonderful song title.

Talk again soon,

Roxy

***

Guess what?

I was right about getting in some quality songwriting time. With the near silence of the bus, besides the intermittent strumming of my guitar and terrible singing of my own lyrics to the musical background track in my head, I think I’ve finally finished Til I Forget About You, even if the title isn’t all that accurate.

In fact, the title isn’t accurate in the slightest. In these last four days, I don’t think I’ve ever thought about Dak more. There’s been lots of frustrated yelling, crying, ripping and crumpling of pages of my journal on the floor… I don’t know how Taylor Swift makes writing break-up songs look so easy. She’s been who I pray to when I get stuck on a line or can’t figure out which chord I like better.

Between Gustavo’s and my affinity for pop music, when I write from the deep recesses of my heart, I find myself bringing out my rock roots. There’s nothing better than the feeling of guitar blasting from the speakers so loud you can feel it rattling around in your rib cage, filling up your ears and leaving them ringing for days on end, and that is the feeling I’ve been coasting on these few days…

It reminds me of my dad and I think that’s why it helps me feel better. Growing up on the heels of his time in the rock scene in Texas, then discovering the punk scene in Minnesota, he was always using his free time to replicate the sounds he’d hear at shows to play for me on his days off. He would tell me all the time that I was such a smiley, giggly kid, as long as his guitar was out - so the minute I was old enough to hold one in my hands he bought me one and taught me to play.

When I was finally old enough to go to shows with him, I always loved the contrast between our looks - my mainstream, bright-colored clothing straight out of TeenVogue and his old, beat-up black band t-shirts blending in with the dark ink on his forearms and even darker jeans and Doc Martins. Was a crowded basement in a random suburb miles away from our house, filled with drunk 20 to 30-somethings and a lineup of 7 different bands in one night really the safest place for a 13-year-old girl? Certainly not, but he always kept me safe and gave me a space to foster my own music taste just like he was afforded as a teenager.

Phew. That was a long-winded way of saying that I’m finally starting to find myself getting over the pain Dak caused me through my music, and I’m really lucky Big Time Rush has given me the space to explore this. Not that Til I Forget About You is an incredible, unmatched rock song - it is still very much a pop song, which I love just as much - but it is, for all intents and purposes, mine.

I miss both of you so much, and I cannot wait to see you again.

Roxy

***

Greetings,

One thing always seems to lead to another. In Del Mar, we finally had an actual, honest-to-God day of rest yesterday and the band asked if I wanted to go to the beach with them. Of course, I agreed, because it felt close to chilling by the Palm Woods pool, but once we got there I quickly learned that the trip everyone took without me brought Austin and the boys closer together. Which is fine, that’s what I wanted in the first place, but now, it feels like I’ve lost my touring buddy.

They spent the entire day surfing (where did these boys learn how to surf?), playing volleyball, and trying to pick up dates, and basically left me to my own devices to watch our stuff. I even wore my best bikini top (purple!) in hopes maybe, just maybe, it would bother James a bit, but I’m not sure he even noticed as he kept trying to play wingman for Carlos and Austin all day. I guess he decided no one on the beach was interesting enough to try and pick up.

Something I did notice, not that it matters at all, but Austin had a bit of trouble in the sun all day. Logan said that he was displaying symptoms of hypoglycemia, and he and I had to help Austin back to our stuff at one point after he nearly toppled over from how shaky his legs were. Eventually, we were able to get a few sodas in him, and he claimed to be right as rain, but it was pretty scary. I know it’s not right of me to ask him what I can do to help if he ever needed it because if he wanted me to share, he would have told me, but it was a bit hard not to take note of the small, off-white pod attached to his deep almond abdomen when he took his shirt off.

Typically, I’d just look it up in private to confirm my own thoughts, but I don’t get my phone for another few days. For now, though, or until he’s comfortable talking about it, I stopped into a corner store on the way back to our buses to grab some snacks that I think would help if his blood sugar were to drop unexpectedly again. Now I just pray nothing punctures the small juice boxes I put in a plastic bag or the hard fruit candies don’t spill out and stick to anything.

And on top of all of that, despite applying copious amounts of sunscreen, I managed to burn my legs. Goodbye shorts and skirts, hello pants I was saving for the colder climates. I tried to take a page out of Hayley Williams’ style book and go for shorts and fitted tees or crop tops as my go-to stage look - adding in jewelry, belts, tights, whatever to switch up my looks day to day, but now I guess I’ll be looking more like Gwen Stefani circa 1995 with my small shirts and big pants.

The show went off without a hitch and we’re off to Central Point, Oregon now, and hopefully once things get back to normal I can get my tour buddy back.

Rox

***

Girls!!!!

I know you’re both from the east coast, and I am obviously so Midwest, but there is just something about the crisp, Oregon air that makes me long for a different hometown. If I grew up here, beautiful Central Point, I think (in addition to being a major league hippie) I might have led a very different life. It’s strange to think about, and I’m incredibly grateful for my current life, but can you imagine if I was the owner of a quaint crystal shop on the edge of the evergreen forests of this state, or if I hand knit sweaters, tye-dying them all crazy, fun colors to sell to tourists. One pretty prominent radio station, Talk Radio Network, is based here, so maybe I’d still be Rockin’ Roxy out here too…

It’s a quiet town, however, not like Duluth or Los Angeles, and it’s pretty far from Portland. My dad always told me he wanted to visit there - apparently, they have a thriving music community in that town.

That’s all I have in the way of updates. After tonight’s show, we’re on our way back to California to the town of Turlock. Kelly, Gustavo, and I could have been a bit more coordinated when booking shows, but we were desperate enough to take whatever we could get, even if it meant extra travel time.

Extra travel time, however, means I have more time to think about the dumpster fire that is my love life as I am now trapped in a bus with James once again. Maybe he and Logan will play that stupid game again and leave me alone as I write.

Speaking of, here’s a few lines I’m working on. What do you think?

I see you walking, but all you do is pass me by,

Can’t even talk, ‘cause words don’t come into my mind,

I’d make a move if I had the guts to,

But I’m paralyzed

Best,

Roxy

***

Good morning, or evening, or whatever the appropriate time may be,

I’m so sorry I skipped out on letters these past few days, our show turnaround time has been insane, and I’ve been doing my best to keep up with my assistant-ly duties to the best of my ability - meaning I’ve had no time to myself in the last four days. Since I last wrote, we’ve been to Turlock, California, Costa Mesa, California, Kansas City, Missouri, and are presently pulling away from Harrington, Delaware.

A list of things of note for you:

In Turlock, Carlos ran over to me during the show and asked me if I wanted to sing. I said absolutely not and he ran off again. Then in Costa Mesa, he ran up to me during City is Ours and asked me to shout “There they are!” into his microphone after the “We pull up, open the door, all the girls scream-” line, while the rest of the band held theirs out to the crowd. They’re really taking this show and making it theirs, and it’s lovely to see. As I write this, Carlos just informed me I’ll be doing that every night with that big, goofy grin of his that makes it impossible for me to even think about saying no.

We did a radio show in each city, and the questions these interviewers come up with in order to be different from one another are just insane. Though, one of the hosts did ask them if they had anyone special waiting for them back home - it gave Logan a chance to stutter his way around the question (Camille… Make it official with him already!) and Kendall the opportunity to monologue about Jo for, like, five minutes. I would’ve recorded it had I had a device on hand capable of doing so (yeah I’m not done complaining). By the time he was done, the interview had nearly ended, so Carlos squeaked out “I have four special people!” and I think he meant the Jennifers and Stephanie (Is Stephanie back yet?). James (blegh!) said “Anyone willing to wait on me is special,” like the true teen idol he is. Any girl willing to wait on him… I pity her.

My drum lessons started in Kansas City after the band managed to rope Austin into a game of pickup while the buses were unloading. Who puts a basketball hoop outside of a music venue and expects anyone to get anything done? Regardless, it was a lot of fun and Austin is a pretty attentive teacher - far better than grouchy Gustavo when he was going over piano basics. There’s a lot I can learn from him! We also started writing his song, a fun, simple summer song about the beach and girls and whatnot… I’m excited to see this project through with him.

Gustavo and Kelly wrote a note on the daily itinerary sheets they give the band and I that we’re currently headed to Denver, Colorado, where we’ll have two days off from performing to do interviews, radio shows, news slots, the whole nine yards. Apparently, news outlets come to us, not the other way around, and they’re very excited to talk to America’s next top boy band. We’ll be doing a few live acoustic performances as well, meaning the guys and I, on camera, filmed for the whole world to see. Let’s hope I don’t mess up.

Miss you endlessly!

Roxy

***

Greetings from the Mile High City,

The press day, the boys claimed, was “hella exciting” and “beyond epic”... I’d describe it more like “waking nightmare” if anyone bothered to ask me. All they had to do was sit there, look pretty, answer some questions or play silly games, and sing. I, on the other hand, was lost in an endless pile of media release forms for every news outlet to approve, combing through the Gustavo pre-approved questions the interviewers were going to ask the boys, keeping their refreshments well stocked so they never ran out of water and choked on a dry throat when they went to answer questions… My work is never-ending!

Definitely one of the worst days on this tour for me, though, I wouldn’t choose it over having to go back and rewrite Til I Forget About You. Speaking of, in my previous letter I forgot to mention a particularly important line that I keep repeating to myself whenever I find my thoughts unpleasantly flickering to Dak… Or at this point, to James.

I found a place where I can lose myself,

And just leave your memory on the shelf,

See? I’m fine, no, I don’t need nobody else.

The punctuation is subject to change, but for now, I’m quite certain I don’t need anyone else in my life. I’m fine just being Roxy for a while… Even if my thoughts often turn into Roxy and James.

Not to toot my own horn, but the song is very good, and I can’t wait to record it once we get back from tour. I think that’ll be a good point to mark my “getting over it” progress.

Something I forgot to mention about these interviews, that I now realize as we pull away from the Denver venue and off to Eureka, Missouri, is I’m actually learning so much about the band by sitting and listening in. They almost never talk about their lives before Hollywood, because the four of them have (as I learned today) known each other since they were four years old. From first meeting at a Pee-Wee hockey league game all the way to playing varsity hockey at MAHS, they’ve been with each other almost their entire lives. Most of the interviewers ask really good, clear questions, that lead the boys down a path that gets them talking and reminiscing on themselves - something they rarely speak about when the others are around. Today (among other things) I also learned Carlos is fluent in Spanish, Logan was really into ventriloquy in middle school, Kendall is allergic to kiwi, and James is the heir to the Brooke Diamond Cosmetics company.

I should have put two and two together on the last one, he’s insanely beautiful and the last name “Diamond” isn’t exactly very common, but remembering what he’s told me about his mom and now knowing she’s Brooke Diamond?? The Este Lauder of the Midwest?? accounts for a lot of his behavior.

A few years ago, there was a big scandal that hit the front page of all the Duluth papers, news stations, radio waves, etc., claiming that BDC’s top model, and Brooke’s husband, Blake Diamond, was caught having an affair with a woman half his wife’s age. On top of that being insanely disgusting, it was in the news for weeks, announcing the Diamond divorce, explaining the court hearings and who got what, all leading up to Blake and his girlfriend eloping to Vegas and getting married the minute he and Brooke were officially split.

What does that do to a budding teenager? Chew them up and spit them out a completely new person. No wonder James never talks about his parents, or his home(s). The only time I learned something about his family was after the dance when he told me his mom made him break up with his boyfriend and when we were back in Minnesota he vaguely told me his parents were separated.

God, I cannot imagine what that must have/still feels like for him. Knowing that he had Kendall, Logan, and Carlos to help him through it makes me feel better, though.

I think, among other reasons, that might have been why he helped get us back to Hollywood a few days before the big concert. Either returning home to his successful mother as a failure or returning home to stay with a cheater and his new wife…

Phew. That was a long one. Every time I send one of these I can feel the two of you mentally cursing me for my wishy-washy gushy James feelings - trust me, it’s just as exhausting for me to think I’m fine alone one day, then want him so badly the next. Please bear with me while I figure this all out.

Wish you were here,

Roxy

***

Eureka!

Somewhere in the middle of Kansas, Kendall woke me up from my lazy couch nap to tell me he wants to learn how to play the guitar.

“That’s great,” I said. “I’d love to teach you, but all my guitars are strung left-handed.”

Bless his heart, he cocked his head and asked, “Why does that matter?”

“Well. I’m left-handed. You’re not. It’s a completely different learning process.”

“Do you know how many hockey players play left-handed, even though they’re right-hand dominant?”

Of course, I don’t. But, in the small second I had to think about it, I realized that there are plenty of famous guitar players that do that too… kind of. Many left-handed guitar players just learn right-handed because left-hand guitar equipment isn’t produced near as much or to the same quality and standards as right-handed equipment!

Thankfully, my dad is left-handed too, so he knew where to get the proper things in order for me to play when I was little, but it was I who took it upon myself to learn how to restring a guitar to fit my own needs. When I was 12, there was this beautiful oak wood acoustic in the local music shop, but it was strung right-handed. The owner didn’t know how to restring it (claiming no one had ever asked him to before, but I just think he was lazy), so I convinced my dad to buy it, a pack of new strings, and a tool kit, and I took it apart, then put everything back everything completely opposite - worked like a charm, until I sold it a few years later to get my electric acoustic.

In all, I’m excited to teach Kendall but I’ll have to find the time in between my assistant duties and my own drum lessons. The request was a bit out of the blue, however, and I wanted to ask him why, but he was too busy buzzing to Logan about it after I told him yes. Maybe he’s trying to learn a skill that will set him apart from the other band members.

After tonight’s show, we’ve got another one tomorrow before another press day, then a stretch of three more shows back to back. It’ll be tiring, but at least we’re having fun. Playing shows is rewarding beyond measure, and hard for me to put into words, but the connection the band has to their audience is unmatched. The way they can make thousands of people get up and dance, sing, let loose… It’s a beautiful sight - one I’m so lucky to be able to witness almost every night.

Maybe you can find some clips on SnoobTube,

Roxy

***

Girls, I’m running out of clever greetings,

I AM SO TIRED.

Columbus, Ohio, along with being a boring city in the world, also happened to be the same place our press day was taking place - meaning we were there for two days too long. Then, we had our three-day tour stint.

On day one, one of our eighteen-wheelers containing half of the stage set up was late. So, guess who, on top of making sure the boys were situated in their green rooms and had everything they requested, had to assist with tech setup I knew nothing about, got to run the soundcheck almost completely alone, and explain to Gustavo the boys had to go on a few minutes later than anticipated :)

On day two, I learned more about the boys. Maybe I’m being dumb and petty, but I think it’s a bit strange that much of my knowledge of them is now coming from these interviews - they’re sharing important things, that I think as their friend I should have the right to have known about beforehand. They know I’ve been struggling to get good at the piano for months now and guess who I learned has been playing all his life? James. Would it have killed him to maybe offer a helping hand? In addition, I found out Logan’s favorite food is toast. Just… plain toasted bread and butter… Kendall’s dream pet, apparently, is a goat because he misses the one we rented at the School of Rocque so much and Carlos doesn’t think Antarctica is real. I wish I could’ve stopped him before he said that during a live interview, but you win some, and you lose some. I was too busy handling all the paperwork and helping the next news outlet set up to get the interviews done as quickly as possible to get in his way.

On day three, we made it to Clearfield, Pennsylvania, a cute town that runs along a beautiful river I discovered on a walk in the morning. Sometimes being cooped up in a bus all night gets old, so when the boys work out in the morning, I wander as far as I think I can before Gustavo and Kelly realize I’m missing. The show that night was great, but Kendall ripped his pants jumping off one of my amps, and everyone in the first few rows got to see his underwear. I’m not sure he’ll be living that one down for a while.

On day four, we rolled into West Allis, Wisconsin around 6 am, where we were promptly escorted off the bus and into a local radio station, who called Gustavo the previous evening and practically begged for a Big Time Rush live acoustic performance. So, Mick and Austin got to sleep in, while I grabbed my acoustic guitar and drowsily followed the boys into the studio, languishing in the familiar smell of Lake Michigan - So close to Lake Superior back in Duluth! We performed three songs, Big Time Rush, Stuck (of course…), and Any Kind of Guy acoustic. Honestly, my stage skills are getting better with each performance, and I think it’s because the guys make me feel so relaxed when we play together. Whenever I performed with Brand New Day, I was always trying too hard to impress Dani, and more importantly, Mag, so playing always took a ton of effort. But with Big Time Rush, I feel so at ease, and I’m able to let loose and have fun. The only thing that caught me off guard today was James derailing the interview before Stuck to dedicate it to “Any girl who feels like they’re invisible… Don’t worry, I see you.”

Dedicating a song you didn’t even write to a person it’s not even about? Barf. Those words keep rattling around in my brain and I wish I could kick them straight out, but I’ve been dwelling on them for days.

On day five, we took a ferry (!!) to Midland, Michigan, while our eighteen-wheelers had to take the long way around, through Illinois and Indiana. Since our stage equipment didn’t arrive until the later part of the day, I pulled out two of my guitars stored away in Bus 1 in order to give Kendall his first lesson at the venue. Since Carlos bunked with Logan and me the night before, the boys decided to switch buses for a few hours, which meant I had to deal with an insane amount of James' side eye as he went about making his breakfast in the small kitchen.

If he’s got a problem with me hanging around my friends, he’s no better than Dak and I’m certainly not going through that again. He kisses me a few times and now thinks he has some weird possessive thing over me? Absolutely not. I’m just so done with him, I don’t understand how just a month and a half ago we shared a journey that literally altered the course of our lives, and now, here he is, acting as though it meant nothing to him.

Maybe I need to get out of the celebrity dating pool - if this tour has taught me anything it certainly is the fact that all my friends are famous and I am not.

Yeah. What a downer of a letter this turned into,

Roxy

***

Send lots of caffeine and my giant stuffy puppy to Fairlea, West Virginia, please!

I’m too exhausted to write out a better greeting, so this letter begins with the truth. There were many times over the last three days I sat down to write this, but every day I ended up falling asleep in the middle. Last night, Logan had to physically remove the pen from my hand while I slept as I was apparently in danger of poking my eye out.

In three days we’ve been to Hamburg, New York, Indianapolis, Indiana, and Peru, Illinois. Another day without seeing the Big Apple, another day in a big city that makes me miss Los Angeles, and another day in a city where if the name and state weren’t written down on our call sheets I might be so tiredly deluded I think we’re in a different country.

Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James are natural-born performers. I, on the other hand, am starting to believe that I may not be cut from a similar cloth. Something inside of them keeps them on the go, go, go, and I would love to know just what it is that makes them tick. The only thing keeping me motivated right now is getting to hear the crowd sing along to my songs every single night. It sounds a bit cheesy to write out, but it’s true! To know all of our hard work writing, recording, and rehearsing, is paying off and reaching corners of the U.S. we didn’t even know existed! And that people are buying our album… So I’ll have a nice cushion of a retirement plan when I’m older…

That, and my lessons of course! Austin has been so cool about helping me learn the drums, and I think I’m getting pretty good even though I’ve only had a few moments of practice. That, and we even had enough time to work on our song more, which is surprisingly almost complete… That boy can write! My goal is to write a drum section for one of my songs all by myself. Normally, Gustavo is able to take my lyrics and guitar melodies and write in drums, bass, piano, or whatever else we think is necessary to execute our grand vision, so for once, I’d like to fill in a new instrument and save him some time which would probably also equate to saving him some time yelling at our other band members.

Guitar lessons with Kendall have been going well too, though I’m not sure he’s very fond of me as a teacher. I’ve struggled to put together little exercises for him to practice because I barely remember learning guitar myself. Maybe I can talk to my dad about it on our next call.

Oh! And Carlos and I invented a game today!

We call it Honk Bonk, and you play it exactly how it sounds. Any time a car in traffic honks, you bonk the closest person on the head with something near you. My weapon of choice, of course, is my journal, and the boys are already used to bonking from that, though someone did honk during Kendall’s lesson today… I was tempted but alas, he needs to stay pretty so he can date my best friend. And sell more albums.

I hope you’re both well, I can’t wait to get back home to see you,

Roxy

***

Panicking! I spent all of today panicking!

This morning, Logan and Kendall shook me awake around 3 am to tell me that it was James’ birthday. TODAY.

I had a few thoughts on this. 1. Why didn’t any of the band mention this until we were three hours into the day? 2. Where the hell am I supposed to get party supplies on a moving bus rolling into Fairlea, West Virginia? 3. How am I going to survive an entire day centered around the guy I’m doing my very best not to think about? 4. Is James mature enough to be the first of us to turn seventeen?

Thank God James was on the other bus because if he had heard the ideas Logan, Kendall, and I had in order to surprise James the minute we stopped at the next venue…

Here was what we came up with:

If you cut up little pieces of colored paper, it kinda looks like confetti. The colored paper in question? Three of the front and back covers of books Logan had brought and finished in the first part of the tour. Kendall had to physically restrain him as I did this.

I’m a songwriter - when in a pinch, write a song. The three of us quickly devised a little spin on the traditional happy birthday song to surprise James with on stage later that blends into the traditional song everyone knows. Hopefully, an entire stadium of people singing to him is a good enough gift.

We can take old tour itineraries from the previous towns, a Sharpie, and some of the bungee chords holding our equipment down during travel to make a HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES banner.

The bus was stocked with enough items to make Oreo Fluff salad, thanks to the miracle that is pudding cups, but not a real cake… He seemed to enjoy it when he came to tell me we were going back to L.A. after a few hours in Duluth. I don’t have any green food coloring, however, so it was boring black and white.

A sub point - around 6 am I begged the bus driver, Henrietta, to let me use her phone and call a Fairlea local bakery and express order a cake to bring out on stage. I also managed to call the venue and ask them to pick up some cupcakes to be waiting in the green room when we arrived and put up any party supplies they had on hand.

It was exhausting, like most things on this tour I guess, but once we rolled into town everything had been squared away, our efforts were well worth it.

Did you know that when James smiles, like really��smiles, he has the most adorable dimples that carve right into his cheeks?

A smile that makes me breathless. A smile that remained on his face all day as we surprised him with our homemade banner, confetti, and treats. A smile plastered on his face the entire show, especially when we surprised him with our song, cake, and the entire crowd sang him happy birthday.

When the show ended, the band freshened up and went to meet some fans out by the front of the venue, and I had to run back into the bus and record my journal entry and write this letter, as I currently am before they came back.

My journal entry contained the word “James” like 40 times.

GOD! He ignores me almost all of the tour, speaking to me only about the essentials or whatever's going on around us on our days off, I finally decide he isn’t into me and I should just chill out for a bit, and now I’m suddenly all about him again. Maybe it’s just because I’m around him literally every day… Maybe it’s because I felt a hint of (healthy! Definitely healthy!) jealousy when he looked at everyone singing to him on stage and in the crowd except for me… Ugh.

We’re on for another multi-day stretch of shows, so please forgive me for fewer letters as the days go on,

Roxy

***

Look I know I said I’d be sending fewer letters but I NEED to tell you guys this.

After arriving in Farmingville, New York, around 9ish in the morning, I was abruptly awoken to the sound of Gustavo yelling at the band about who knows what. Apparently, this pissed them off so much they came storming onto my bus, told me to get ready as fast as I could, and thirty minutes later we were sneaking out of the venue and into a taxi that drove us right into the heart of Manhattan.

We messed around the city for the ENTIRE DAY and Gustavo had no way of finding us since he had our phones. Finally, we got to be the tourists instead of the attraction, before getting back to the venue before the show started.

Once the taxi dropped us off right outside of Time Square, Logan had the brilliant idea for each of us to pick one thing we wanted to do, and do our best to complete them before the end of the day. The list is as follows:

Kendall wanted to go to the top of the Empire State Building

Logan wanted to visit the Morgan Library

Carlos wanted to see Spider-Man

James (after loudly complaining we couldn’t see something on Broadway) wanted to take a sightseeing cruise around the bay to see the Statue of Liberty

I wanted to see the musical instrument display at the MET and I convinced everyone to join me for a lunch picnic in Central Park.

Today was literally perfect, though I did feel a bit bad about leaving Austin and Mick back at the venue to run the soundcheck without me.

Besides admiring the thousands of advertisements roving around the Square, the first thing we did was hit the Morgan Library. The architecture was just breathtaking and it was amazing to see the carefully curated collection of historical documents. They even had musical manuscripts and printed forms of music from nearly one hundred years ago… I wonder how a boy band in 1909 would look… Or if my journals will be on display in 2109… Scary!

Not as scary as the top of the Empire State Building, though!

It was so cold and windy up there, even in the middle of the summer. I practically had to cling to Carlos’ arm to feel even a little bit stable, but of course, he wanted to get right up to the very edge of the building and look straight down. Kendall and Logan wanted to join him (one to spit off the edge and the other to try and calculate how far away the second tallest building in NY was) so I got passed off to James. Would it have killed him to put his arm around me and tell me it would be alright? Jesus. He just stood there, silently looking off into the distance while I clutched at his arm. Message received: He isn’t into me.

The rest of the day was fun and I wanted to write more but now I’m a bit sad after writing that. All I really want to do is go to bed now; I’ll tell you about it when we meet again, I guess.

Roxy

***

Daddy,

Tour is hard. So hard. And I feel so stupid for thinking that I was cut out for this kind of thing. Songwriters are for the studio, not the stage. I’ve spent so much time around the guys I’m starting to go crazy. You and I always talked about traveling if we had the money, and let me tell you one day per city is hardly enough to even say that I’ve been here. It’s not cross-country exploration if I haven’t explored five minutes past the closest coffee shop because I can barely keep my eyes open without caffeine.

I’m constantly tired. My back hurts from sleeping on the couch. My fingers are so sore. My eyes are dry from the incessant spotlight lighting us up for thousands of people every night. The next person to ask me for something might get their head bitten off if they don’t say “please?”

Just because I’m an assistant doesn’t mean I get to be walked all over.

The applause is nice though, hearing everyone sing along to my songs even in parts of the country I’ve never even heard of… Maybe that’s enough to get me to Duluth.

I can’t wait to see you. Sorry for the depressing letter, I’m having a hard time being away from both of my homes.

Promise you’ll listen to the setlist before you see us?

I hope I’m making you proud,

Roxanne

***

Hi.

The shows in Lima, Ohio, and Falcon Heights, Minnesota were great. Our friends are just so talented. It was hard being so close to Duluth, and I invited my dad to the show last minute, but he wasn’t able to make it.

We’re driving to Essex, Vermont now - 13 hours into a 20-hour journey.

The weather out here has been awful, it’s been thunder storming nonstop, so we haven’t been making as many stops as we usually have. Just my luck I’m stuck with Logan and James, and I’ve been writing a song all day.

It’s a song for James’ invisible girls… More accurately, a song full of words I wish he would say to me.

Am I out of mind, or just invisible?

Anyway. It’s been extra hard to write because the two of them were sitting less than three feet away from me the entire time. They’re both so nosey, consciously or not and kept looking over at me. I could tell they wanted to ask me about it, but at least they were respectful enough not to.

It’s got a really beautiful guitar melody, but I’d love to get my hands on my keyboard back home because I have a cool idea for a backing track… Never thought I’d be excited to play the piano but here I am, itching to play it thousands of miles from home.

We play Boston, Massachusetts in a few days, and the boys kept talking about wanting to hit up a pizza place in the city that they visited during one of their hockey tournaments a few years ago. At this point, I’m just trying to get through the next 7 hours. That’s when we get to the next venue, though we have to take a day off from the show tomorrow. Not only is it Carlos’ birthday, but it’s the day of Hawk and Rebecca’s trial. Sweet, sweet seventeen spent reminiscing one of the worst moments of our entire lives. Whoo whoo.

In other depressing news, after coming to the realization that I like James, but he doesn’t like me, it’s been extra hard to be around him. Mostly I just hang out with Austin and beat out my frustration on his drum kit… The last 13 hours have been like hell. Every time James smiles, it makes me want to. His laugh rings in my ears, sending a jolt straight through my heart. Whenever he gets up to walk by me, it takes everything in me not to stare as he moves about the bus.

It’s exhausting… Having a crush on someone is supposed to be fun. I’m supposed to feel like I’m walking on air, and glow, and sparkle, and shine. Instead, I feel like shit.

Truly, I guess I don’t really know him like I thought I did. What happened to the always flirty, unserious, loverboy who took me on a date our first month in Los Angeles?

I think I blew my chance with him once I met Dak, and I think I hate myself for it.

Exhausted and missing home,

Roxy

***

Happy birthday, happy trial day,

I hope you’ll be pleased to know that Hawk and Rebecca will be going away for a long time. We tried to celebrate Carlos’ birthday with cupcakes at the venue, but no one had an appetite after our Skype trial. To try and lighten the mood, I played a few songs he showed me at the beginning of the tour on my guitar, but I could tell as he absently sang along it wasn’t really helping.

Though, in other news that I shouldn’t be happy about, James spoke to me today unprompted and asked if I was okay after my testimony. Apparently, I was speaking quite shakily… Which, yeah. I was fucking kidnapped and asked to recount it in front of a room full of people I don’t know, of course, I was shaky. But at least he was thinking about me.

Maybe he needs signs or cues or reasons to act or something… Weirdo.

Anyway, we’ll bring a cake out for Carlos during the show tomorrow and have the crowd sing for him. Hopefully, he’s in better spirits tomorrow.

This was a weird letter, I know. Life’s weird recently, but thanks for reading. Miss you two.

Roxy.

***

Carlos fucking Garcia has been reading my mail. I’m convinced of it! Because tonight, when the band did the little introduction of their musical accompaniment, Carlos introduced me, walked right up to me, planted to sweetest, wettest, loudest kiss onto my cheek, and told me he loved me in front of the whole crowd.

When I told him I loved him back, we got some “awwws” (mostly “boooos” that I’m choosing to ignore) and continued the show.

Then.

When the show ended.

James grabbed my hand, dragged me off towards the back door of the venue, onto some side street alley where we couldn’t hear the crowds of people leaving the show anymore, and asked me if I wanted to make out.

A reason to act! Carlos telling thousands of people he loved me was a reason to act!

So.

We made out in a dirty, smelly alley and I think it was the best night of my entire life… Besides the five seconds I’m pretty sure a rat touched my foot.

There is hope yet,

Roxy

P.S.

When I got back to the bus I was buzzing so bad I told Logan everything. That I liked James, that we kissed, that we kissed some more, that I think about him all the time, that I’ve written one and a half songs about him already.

I’m in so deep at this point… And all Logan did was grin at me - stupid, dumb grin - and say “Finally,” before heading off to his bunk to sleep.

Camille, I hate your almost-boyfriend and I’m drawing all over his face in Sharpie tonight.

***

Oops,

Not to leave you two on a cliffhanger but the last month of tour has been so insane I haven’t even had a minute to myself to write (letters or otherwise), think, or even just take a breather in a coffee shop in the middle of nowhere.

The rockstar lifestyle is hard to get used to… Hopefully, we budget more off days for future tours or I might go crazy.

To answer the question I know is on your minds: No. Nothing else happened with me and James, though he does actually sit down and talk to me now (even if it’s mostly work-related, I’ll take it). We toured all throughout most of the other states in the country, I’d write them all here but I lost track after Boston if I’m being honest. Though I do know that at one point we were in Phoenix, Arizona and Kendall accidentally said “Hello, Las Vegas!” to the entire stadium.

MSG was insane. Best venue I’ve ever been to, the best crowd we’ve ever had, and the second-best night of my life.

As I write to you now, we’re about to play our last show in Duluth, Minnesota, before our three-day journey home. I’ve got a bunch of silly string to prank the boys with on stage during their solo sets… They won’t even know what hit them!

My dad finally got to meet the guys, though I’m not sure he liked any of them but he was kind enough - but what father would like the four boys his daughter is best friends with? I have no idea why he keeps calling James “Jay” but whatever. After the show ended I snuck him out of the venue and showed him our buses, and trucks for stage set up, and let him meet Mick and Austin as well - Austin even performed his song for my dad… His first audience member!

Safe to say, he loved Austin’s number, but how he felt about everything else, he didn’t share on his face like normal. I like to think I’m pretty good at deciphering how my father feels at this point in my life, but he kept his expressions at bay as we walked around everything we had waiting for us outside. I hope it didn’t put him off or something, considering I know that being a musician was his dream, too. What he did say was: “You shared this bus with two boys?” and “Which guitars are you using, Honey Bun? You deserve only the best.”

Dads.

I also got to meet Logan and Carlos’ families! (Minus James’... I felt really bad for him that his parents weren’t there…) Logan’s moms were so sweet - overly doting on him, fixing up his outfit, practically smothering him with health facts and tips. I think one of his moms is a realtor, while the other is a doctor, which would explain Logan’s want to be a doctor himself. If I had to guess, I’d say she’s a pediatrician. She gave off the vibe she’d be amazing with kids. It must have been so wonderful to grow up in that household :)

Since I’d already met Carlos’ dad, Mr. Garcia was kind enough to introduce me to his wife and three daughters. Genetics work in mysterious ways, blessing each of the Garcia children with the same dark hair and alluring eyes. It was hard to tell sisters Maria, Lupe, and Alena apart, but after talking to them a bit I was able to find some differences. They all followed me on ScuttleButter, so maybe we’ll talk more in the future. I loved getting to know them! Mrs. Garcia and her son also share a lot of the same mannerisms - they’re both curious, caring, and just a bit ADHD. The two of them spent most of their time together with the girls, pointing out different things about the venue, sharing stories from their time away from each other, and the coolest part was their switching back and forth from English to Spanish depending on if they wanted their conversations to be overheard or not.

At one point I think they were talking about me (and James) but I can’t be sure. Maybe if I’d taken Spanish in school instead of French my freshman year…

I wish Mrs. Knight had been there, but Kendall and James kept themselves occupied by talking sports with my dad. For a bit, Dad and Kendall talked about guitars after mentioning that I was teaching him how to play, leaving James out of the loop, so I went over and struck up a conversation with him.

Normal. That’s what we are - or more accurately what our relationship is - though, I think he looks at me a bit differently now. There’s no evidence to that last statement, I just feel his eyes on me sometimes and it makes my chest flutter. I much prefer being friends (who made out) that are able to be around each other, than whatever his weird, “ignore Roxy” game was.

The show’s in 10, so we need to start walking to the stage!

I loved writing to you two, but I can’t wait to get back to talking face-to-face. I’m in dire need of a girl’s night.

See you soon (for real this time),

Roxy <3

--

A little change of pace before season two! Thanks for reading :) Support for this story has been overwhelming!

Since school is starting back up, I'm going to be switching back to posting every two weeks instead of every week. <3 

Season two starts September 5th, but I'll do my best to post little one-shots and such on my tumblr, so check over there every once and a while :)

[travelingtheusa]

MONTANA

2023 Jun 16 (Fri) – We rode into town to get fuel and pick up milk at the grocery store.  We stopped in the café for lunch.  It was not very good but we ate it.

      At 3:30 p.m. we went to the pavilion to set up.  At 4:00 p.m. we started the travel meeting despite the fact that everyone was not there (I want to set the stage for promptness so I will not wait for everyone to get there).  The briefing was long but filled with important information.  Johnny did a power point presentation about the Milepost but most everybody was confused just the same.  It will make more sense when we start using it.  Right now, our move tomorrow is not included in the Milepost.  The book only follows the main routes and we will be on side roads for the first two moves.

2023 Jun 15 (Thu) – We worked on caravan “stuff.”  I called campgrounds and venues to confirm our attendance.  At 4:30 p.m. we went down to the pavilion for the potluck dinner.  It has been quite well organized.  First, the group was divided into two groups:  Group 1 and Group 2.  Then each team was assigned a leader.  We are in Group 1.  The menu has been divided into 3 meats, 3 vegetables, 3 desserts, and whatever (I am assigned the whatever is needed).  The theme for tonight was Mexican.  Only 10 of the rigs need to cook while the other 10 enjoy the meal.  I suppose it makes things easier.

      The meal was delicious, of course.  The group organized the meal to include tablecloths and lay out very well.  The caravan is forming up nicely.  There is usually someone you can identify as a problem person who we will have trouble with on the caravan, but no one has emerged as such yet.  Maybe we’ll be lucky and not have one of those on this trip.  We will see what we will see.

2023 Jun 14 (Wed) – We stayed around the campground getting everything ready for tonight’s orientation meeting and welcome dinner.  We went down to the pavilion at 3 p.m. to set out the travel guides, jackets, and goodie bags.  There was a mistake in the jackets.  We got two of the same one and one missing.  It turned out to be both the vendor and my fault.  I sent him an email asking to ship a jacket to us in Alaska.  He’s been so hard to get hold of, I hope he responds quickly.

      The orientation went well.  Paul took pictures as everyone arrived, then sent them to get their items staged in the back of the pavilion.  Everyone was full of questions but lighthearted and ready to begin.  After the meeting, we all went to the Johnson’s of St. Mary café for dinner.  We had bison vegetable soup, bread, bottom round beef with huckleberry sauce, mashed potatoes & gravy, and cole slaw.  It was pretty good.  Everything was served family style.  Day 1 was off to a good start despite a cold and wet day.  The jackets were just what we needed!

2023 Jun 13 (Tue) – Paul and I went down to the café to see what the lay-out will be for tomorrow’s dinner.  It is a cut log cabin style with lots of animal skeletons and skins hung around the room.  The lower dining room is 4 steps down to the dining room.  Not bad.

      We brought out all the items to go into the goody bags for everyone.  Johnny & Linda, Joe & Diane, and us all put the stuff in the bags.  There were books, chocolates, candy, give-aways, and hand-outs.  Hope everyone likes what they get.

       We got an email from the guy at the Western Millar Sawmill.  We had a tour scheduled for June 22.  After trying to get hold of the contact for almost a week, he finally got back and said they couldn’t do the tour.  No real reason why.  Another person sent me an email saying the tours were cancelled during COVID and never resumed.  Then a phone message from the guy at the sawmill intimating that the wildfires in Canada are to blame.  That’s disappointing.

      When we were done with the bags, Johnny & Linda rode with Joe & Diane and we drove to the Many Glacier, after a quick stop at the post office to mail off a birthday gift to our grandson.  We went to the Many Glacier Lodge for lunch.  It was very nice and the lodge was beautiful.  Built in 1915, it has kept most of its old-style charm.

      After lunch, we went to the Ptarmigan falls then to the Weber falls.  They were both invigorating.  When we got back, Paul and I walked around greeting the folks who arrived in the campground during the day.  We now have 13 of the 20 rigs going on the caravan.  Guess 7 will be coming in tomorrow.  At 5 p.m. we had happy hour and we were pleased to see that everyone came to it.  This promises to be a good group that will socialize with one another.  

2023 Jun 12 (Mon) – We had to run into town to the credit union to get another $5,000 for the caravan petty cash fund.  Then I had to go to another bank to exchange that for Canadian money.  My $5,000 turned into $6,150.  Pretty good deal.  We also stop at Albertsons to get some dry food for Sheba.

      We got back to the campground, finished packing up, and pulled out at 10:40 a.m.  It was a pleasant drive through some beautiful country to St. Mary.  We pulled in around 2:30 p.m.  I went into the office and settled the bill for the caravan then drove to our campsite.  Six rigs are already here.  Everyone who knew us came over and gave big hugs and hellos.  After set up, I walked by each rig to find out who was here and what campsite they were in.  Then we all brought our chairs to a site where Joe put up his 10x10 tent and enjoyed some comradery and libations.

      At 6:30 p.m., we called it quits and went in.  Linda made her famous etouffee for us, Joe & Diane, and Dave & Dot.  We set up two picnic tables – they were mini tables that only seated 4 – and ate outside.  It was very pleasant.

2023 Jun 11 (Sun) - We tried to watch the church services back home but the sound was terrible.  We could hardly make out what people were saying.  Apparently, Doug is away and the laity was conducting the service. 

      We did the laundry.  The campground has 2 washers and 4 dryers.  Why so many dryers as compared to washers is anybody’s guess.  While the clothes were drying, we drove into town to get propane and fuel for tomorrow’s move.  We ran out of propane this morning but when Paul went to check on it, the tank was full.  Turned out to be a bad regulator.  So we picked up a new regulator and hose at North 40.  While I was there, I got a present for our grandson who is turning 4 the end of this month.  I also went online and ordered a stamp collecting kit for our other grandson who is turning 11.  They keep getting older.  😊

      Johnny & Linda, our tail gunners on the Alaska Caravan, arrived today.  We happily greeted one another.  After they ran to the store to get needed supplies, we sat and visited, talking about the upcoming caravan and plans for conducting it.

2023 Jun 10 (Sat) – We continued work on the books and other items until 11:30 a.m.  Then we drove to the Roadside Diner to meet Marlin & Beth.  They are also taking a caravan for the first time.  Beth peppered us with questions and concerns.  We answered them all and, again, worked to reassure them as we did Karl & Terri.  They are certainly excited about the trip.  As are we.  Several members of the caravan have been checking in as they move toward our starting point in St. Mary.  One couple is already there and others are arriving from now to when we start on June 14. 

      I continued to call campgrounds and venues to confirm arrangements.  It turned out that the White Pass train ride only has 38 reservations, not 39.  When I asked the clerk to add one, she said they are full.  I have to call back the day before or day of the trip to see if there is a cancellation.  If that doesn’t happen, one of the group (probably Paul or I) will have to sit the trip out.  I keep mumbling to myself, “Remember the ‘F’ word.”  (FLEXIBILITY)  I know there will be changes as we go along but I want this trip to be perfect.  It is the trip of a lifetime for so many people.  We hope it will be the best.

      We went food shopping.  Also stopped at a place called North 40.  It was like a combination Camping World, WalMart, and Ace Hardware.  We were like kids in a candy store, exploring all the items stocked on the shelves in the huge store.

2023 Jun 9 (Fri) – We pulled out at 9 a.m. and headed for Great Falls, MT.  We are staying at Malmstrom AFB FamCamp.  We had reservations at the Annex on base but when I called to confirm and get our site number, we were told we wouldn’t fit in that campground.  Instead, they relocated us to the Gateway off base.  It is a very nice campground – sites are paved with concrete, they are full hook-up with 50 amp, and there is a small laundry room. 

      Another couple from our upcoming caravan – Karl & Terri – are also in Gateway.  They came by to say hi but we were out shopping.  We found their note and walked over later to say hello.  This will be the first caravan they have ever been on and they are pretty excited.  We reassured them, reviewed some of what is coming up, and (hopefully) made them feel a little more comfortable about the trip.

      There is also another couple from our caravan staying in the Annex.  We will meet them for lunch tomorrow at the Roadside Diner.

      We ran out to Staples to pick up the printed Travel Guide, binders, and tabs.  The clerk offered us a 20% discount which we jumped on.  It saved us over $200!  When we got back, we spent the day putting the books together.  Came to discover that one page was off and half the book is right and the back half is off in terms of where the chapters start.  Thank goodness I added pages for notes.  Otherwise, the book would be unusable.  As it is, the notes from the previous chapter will be at the front of the next chapter.  Inconvenient but usable.

2023 Jun 8 (Thu) – It rained most of the day today.  It was overcast and blah.  We went for lunch at Steve’s Café.  I had a cheeseburger; Paul had a chicken sandwich.  It was good.  We also stopped to get fuel for tomorrow’s move.

       We spent the day working on Alaska caravan “stuff.”  I made calls, sent emails, and printed copies.  We are close now!  Unfortunately, Canada is experiencing wildfires now.  The smoke is choking the easter seaboard.  I hope the fires don’t impede us as we travel through Canada to Alaska.

2023 Jun 7 (Wed) – We went to breakfast at the Running Bear Pancake House.  It was crowded but we only had to wait about 10 minutes.  The waitress was a hoot and we wound up leaving her a hefty tip.  It pays to make the customers feel good.

      We returned to the campground, packed up, and left at 9:35 a.m.  Paul has solved the bedroom slide issue (we think), but only brings it out about a foot – just to be on the safe side.  It’s open just enough to squeeze past the bottom of the bed to get to the closet.  The drive was very nice through awesome countryside with meadows, ranches, miles of open, grassy plains, and mountains.  The weather stayed nice for us.  At noon, we stopped at the home of the owner of Precision Guns in Whitehall.  He has a shop in town but also runs business out of his home shop.  There was no parking so we pulled over as far as we could on the side of the road.  He took my shotgun and ammunition to hold until we get back from Alaska in three months.

      Continuing on our way, we arrived at Fort Harrison in Helena.  Unfortunately, they had us down as arriving tomorrow and had no room for us today.  I got on the camping app and found a spot at the Lewis & Clark County Fairgrounds.  They only have 30-amp hookup.  We had to fill our fresh water tank.  They also don’t have sewer hookup or dump station.  It’s pretty bare bones here.  The sites are a little uneven but spacious. 

       We spent the afternoon finalizing the paperwork and hand-outs for the caravan.  I uploaded the travel guide and sent it to Staples for printing.  We will pick 21 copies of the guide along with binders and divider tabs on Friday or Saturday.

2023 Jun 6 (Tue) – We got up early in order to beat the crowd to the park.  We left at 7:30 am and stopped to get breakfast at a café.  When we got to the entrance of Yellowstone, we waited on a long line to get in the park.  So much for an early start. 

      We drove the southern loop around the park.  What a fantastic place!  We stopped at several places to hike down to see waterfalls and thermal locations.  At lunch time, we parked next to the Yellowstone Lake and enjoyed sandwiches while gazing out at the snow covered Grand Teton Mountains in the distance.  It was a long day but just breathtaking.  The weather held out for the entire day,  sprinkling a little on our way out of the park.

2023 Jun 5 (Mon) – We packed up and left Idaho Falls, ID at 9:35.  It was almost a four-hour drive to West Yellowstone, MT.  We are staying at the Wagon Wheel Campground.  It is an older campground and in need of TLC.  The sites are tight and there are lots of overgrown trees in the camp.  There is a hotel next door with the same name.  They charged us $177 for two nights!  It is about 3 minutes from the entrance into Yellowstone National Park.

      After we squeezed into our assigned campsite, we headed out to tour Yellowstone NP.  We took the upper loop road in the north of the park.  Tomorrow we will take the bottom route, or southern loop.  Our Senior Pass got us in for no cost (the entrance fee is $35).  There were many cars there already.  The park was so awesome.  So many different kinds of things to see.  There was still snow around the higher altitudes on the mountain slopes and some of the higher elevation roadways.  We spotted a grizzly with bear cub, elk, and lots of bison.  Looking forward to coming back tomorrow.

[landinoandco]

Mick Schumacher x reader

A timely confession

Request from @gpiggy98

Warnings: fluff:)

Word count: 1.8 k

Rating: Teen and up

When Guenther had announced that Mick Schumacher was going to be joining the team - the whole of Haas were ecstatic. There were many ways to describe him, his kind and nurturing nature, his dedication to any job he sets out to do and his gentle manner that could put anyone at ease. As gutted as you were to not be Romain’s assistant going into the 2021 season, getting Mick was definitely going to make up for it. The day you were scheduled to meet him, to go over the pre-season press plan - you were excited to show him around, introduce him to the team and talk about the new challenges you were going to be facing together. What you hadn’t expected was the inability to form a proper sentence whenever he came near you - which, as his assistant proved to be less than practical. 

“Hey, it’s lovely to meet you.” Mick had said when Guenther had introduced you that day. 

“I - uh - likewise. I’m really looking forward to working with you this year.” You had stuttered. Never in your career before had you stuttered when introducing yourself - a pink flush creeped up your neck betraying you completely. Fortunately for your sake, Mick smiled innocently and shook your hand, when he clasped your hand in his you couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter. 

Guenther watched on in amusement, obviously thoroughly enjoying the experience of you making a fool out of yourself. 

After the tour - in which you had tripped over your words a fair few times - you said your goodbyes and trudged angrily up to Guenther’s office. Slouching on the chair in front of your desk, you sighed loudly. “What a day.” You uttered, pinching the bridge of your nose with your thumb and forefinger. 

“How did it go?” Guenther asked, passing you a glass of water. 

“I kept tripping over my words, to be completely honest with you it was slightly traumatic.” You replied honestly, taking the glass gratefully and taking a sip. 

“You get the chance to work with Mick and you call it slightly traumatic?” Guenther mocked, the corner of his lips turning up. 

“Tomorrow’s a new day - maybe I’m coming down with something.” You wiped your forehead in anguish. 

As it turns out you were coming down with something but unfortunately it wasn’t really something that could be cured in a matter of days. You finally worked out what was wrong when Mick had asked you to grab a little bit of lunch with him before the first race in Bahrain. You had to keep reminding yourself that it wasn’t a date, it was for work and only work. 

It was a well known fact that Mick was a heartthrob, a real life Prince Charming who drives cars for a living. His crystal blue eyes were seemingly easy to get lost in - perhaps that was half your issue. The way he was so softly spoken, lulled you into a trance. His mannerisms resembled that of a golden retriever pup and after that you realised - you were falling for Mick Schumacher. 

You were sitting in a terraced cafe, looking over the city landscape near to where the track was. Picking on chips, as Mick asked about your career up to this point. 

“What made you want to become an assistant?” He asked, passing you the plate of chips. 

You picked one up and waved it at him, “I’ve always been in love with the sport and what better way to experience it first hand than work with the drivers. I could never have been one so join them, I suppose.” 

“Did you ever race as a child then?” He asked, leaning onto his elbows, a lopsided grin plastered onto his face. 

“I did for a while.” You nodded and took a bite of your chip. 

“Maybe, during the summer break, we should go go-karting. Show me some of the good tracks in the UK.” He declared, completely oblivious to the effect it had on you. The familiar pink tinge that had gotten too used to creeping up onto your neck, the corner of your eyes crinkled as you gazed into his eyes. 

“I would really like that.” You stayed transfixed, gazing longingly at him. If only he knew how you truly felt or even better - if he felt the same way. You knew he never could, at the end of the day he had been given an opportunity to drive in formula one and you knew he wasn’t going to let a girl he worked with distract him from that. 

You cleared your throat and tore your eyes away from him - as much as it pained you - and stood up but as you turned back around, you realised that he was still watching you, his eyes glinted and the corner of his mouth quirked up. 

“I suppose we should think about getting you back, wouldn’t want them thinking you’ve gotten lost.” You said, forcing a smile onto your face. 

A few weeks later and it was time for the race in Imola, the rain was pouring down and the team’s strategists had re-grouped to come up with a strategy to fit in with the weather. Unlike for people at home, watching a wet race as part of a team was never enjoyable - the tensions thick throughout the race. Over the few weeks that you had been working with Mick, your feelings only grew stronger but since the season was well underway you found yourself spending more and more time with him. It was an impossible situation that you wished upon nobody. 

You had never been good with nerves and that was clear as you paced up and down his room. 

“Liebe.” It was his new nickname for you. “Why are you so stressed. When you start stressing, so do I and do you really want me to-” You stopped pacing and sat next to him, he placed his hand on your shoulder in an attempt to calm you. If anything it made you worse. 

“I know, I’m sorry Mick.” You exhaled shakily and looked around the room. You had seen a fair few wet races in your time and not all of them had ended nicely, in fact the majority of the time someone ended up in the wall. “Racing in the rain always makes me nervous.” You looked down at your lap, toying with your fingers. You looked at him desperately, “Just promise me you will be careful.” 

“Damn,” He whispered, “You know I was really considering driving off the track today. A little off-roading never hurt anyone.” He laughed at your horrified expression. “I’m only teasing, Liebe. You know I will be careful. Extra careful so I won’t get a telling off from you - or Guenther.” You allowed yourself to chuckle slightly, he nudged his knee with yours and tried to catch your eye but you deliberately avoided it, nibbling on your lip and furrowing your eyebrows. 

He placed his finger under your chin and lifted it to meet his gaze then placing his hand either side of your face. Breath hitching in your throat and your heart having an absolute field day, you blushed profusely, once again unable to look away from his intense gaze. 

“What’s on your mind?” He asked,  you could feel his breath fanning across your face. You shut your eyes, hands clammy and you didn’t know whether you could trust your voice. 

“I care about you.” You managed to stutter, your eyes still closed. At least this way, you couldn’t see his expression when he realised. 

“I care about you, Liebe, but you already know this-” He began carelessly. 

“No, Mick.” You opened your eyes, his brows knitted. “I care about you more than I should.” Your tone was hushed, his eyes flickered with realisation, his mouth curved into a beaming grin. He moved his face so your lips were only a tantalizing distance from each other, “Why didn’t you say so sooner.” His lips brushed yours as he spoke and when you didn’t answer he closed the distance. Capturing your lips with his, it was like two puzzle pieces had been put together. 

There was a knock at the door and the pair of you jumped apart - a voice called out: “Mick it’s time to head to the track.”

Reluctantly he got up, brushing down his race suit and held out his hand to help you up - instead of letting go once you got to your feet, he proceeded to pull you into his chest. “We shall talk about this after the race, Liebe.” He kissed the tip of your nose and walked out the door, leaving you lost for words behind him. You could still feel the ghost of his lips on yours, relishing in the events of a couple of moments ago - playing it over and over again in your head. 

It was a tense 2 hours in the Haas garage - the race far from lacking action; with Latifi crashing into the wall on lap one then on lap four Mick losing the backend of his car whilst under the safety car and crashing into the exit of the pitlane. Fortunately with a new front wing he was able to carry on and finished the race 16th. They weren’t the only two to crash as Bottas and Russel came together - even Hamilton ran off the road. Imola was proving to be savage in the rain. 

As soon as Mick crossed the finishing line, the whole garage relaxed, hugging and cheering. He had matched his result from Bahrain and managed to finish in front of Nikita. As far as Haas was concerned - it was a successful day. As his assistant you were to meet him at Parc fermé to take him to his weigh-in and post-race interviews. As soon as he saw you he took his helmet off and wrapped you into his arms, your feet coming off of the floor. You giggled and placed your hands either side of his face. 

“I was as careful as I could be.” He assured, a smirk toying at the corner of his lips. You shook your head at him, your mouth curved into a wide smile. 

“You did a good job.” You said to him, he wrapped his arms around your waist - pulling you closer into him. Then he dipped his face and connected your lips, rain falling around you. It was atmospheric and cheesy all at the same time.

There were wolf-whistles and cheers around you, as passing drivers walked by. You pulled your face away, both of your cheeks resembled tomatoes but it didn’t really matter. You knew you could never be happier with Mick by your side.

They say home is where the heart is and as long as you were with Mick - you were home.

[skadventuretime]

westward / 2

When Impa had told him about the divine beasts, Link had listened politely and resolved to ask Paya if her grandmother was quite all right. He'd even indulged Impa's request with his trip to Hateno Village, and while Purah was...eccentric...he isn't convinced there's not a simpler explanation for everything. Like mass head trauma. Or worms. He has certainly been afflicted by something, so it would stand to reason that others might be, too.

Except there are those pictures... It's odd enough that his Sheikah Slate has the powers it does, gifted from the runes that dripped like living ice into the strange device, but the existence of pictures he didn't take speaks of a deeper, more uncomfortable truth. It flits at the edge of his awareness, a sticky sense of foreboding that twines around the echo of Zelda's urgent call and makes his fingers itch. He picks at the hem of his tunic often, now.

It's this uneasy feeling that prompts him to leave Hateno Village altogether, though he tells himself it's because of the never-ending rain and unbearable weight of people's regard. He barters away a few gems he'd found along the road for arrows and small sundry goods, then hops on Horse and doesn't looks back. The hill Purah's research facility is on looms in the distance and he can't wait to be free of its shadow.

They left early that morning, so it's only mid afternoon when they come upon a rickety lean-to on the side of Proxim Bridge. He'd fled west from Hateno since it's ground he's already covered and familiarity is newly precious. A man with a spear is shivering under the flimsy roof and looks up as Link trots over on Horse.

"Rotten weather, eh?" the man says with a grimace. "Name's Brigo. I was patrolling, but we don't have to worry too much about monsters when it's coming down like this." He gives Link a closer look. "Traveler, are you? Need directions?"

Link's mind goes curiously blank at the thought of having a fixed destination, as if to think about it too long will summon the sense of urgency that's been buzzing in his blood, so he asks Brigo instead to tell him what's nearby.

Brigo talks about Hyrule castle, Kakariko village, and the plateau he'd first flown from. None of them sound particularly inviting, but when Brigo points to the plateau and it's directly opposite of the road from Hateno Village, he figures it's as good a direction to go as any.

Link thanks Brigo and nudges Horse back into the rain despite her affronted snort. "I know, I don't like it either," he tells her as he kicks her into a canter. "But the sooner we're out of this rain, the better." Impa had mentioned a desert, hadn't she, supposed home of one of the divine beasts?

Horse runs through a puddle and splashes muddy water all over Link's pants. That's it, enough of this water, enough of this damp -- they're going to the desert if it takes him weeks to find the proper trail. Link focuses on the rhythm of Horse's canter and how right he feels in the saddle.

After a short while he finds himself thinking about the pictures Zelda took again, and brings out the Sheikah Slate to look at them. Flicking through, he's struck by how lonely they seem, how it looks like a collection of places meant to be either a memory against the dark or a goodbye.

The thought makes something in him crack. He flits through the pictures again and again, chokes back a cry of frustration at a surging need to hold or be held he doesn't understand but desperately needs to, it's clawing burning biting at the corner of his mind, his heart, his soul, the promise of ruination so thick upon his tongue he gags on it rather than see her alone--

Silence. The night air is cool and crisp, and it turns out it's not so quiet after all between the clicks and chirrups of nocturnal insects that sound so far away. He blinks, once, twice, thoughts running syrupy slow. Horse has slowed to an easy trot along the wide road, though not far ahead it diverges in a small fork. He can see the large horse head of a stable to the right, so he turns Horse that way and tries to compose himself.

The sun is setting as they approach the counter, where a cheerful man named Embry assures him there's room for Horse in the stable and a spare bale of hay he can sleep on for a few rupees. Link sees a communal fire pit complete with a scoured stone cook pot and sets about making meat and mushroom skewers with the supplies he'd brought. His body is heavy, so heavy, and he's looking forward to a solid roof over his head. Tomorrow he can worry about where he's going and what he might find there.

The food is warm and nourishing, and he falls asleep not thinking about anything at all.

[ladyeliot]

Before we go (Part One)

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

Pairing: Chris Evans x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your company has sent you to Boston to close a deal on the same day you have the most important date of your life at night in New York. Things get complicated, you can't return to New York and you have to spend the night in Boston with a complete stranger.

Warning: Fluff and a bit angst.

Word count: 3319

Notes:  Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

"Sometimes we are so focused on finding our happy ending that we don't learn to analyse the signs that life offers us".

It was a clear night in April, the city of Boston, Massachusetts had welcomed you that morning, but at that moment you needed to leave it behind. You had made an express trip from New York, your home, for business knows no days or hours, so it had fallen to you to catch an early Sunday morning train to Boston, when you had a really important Sunday night appointment. You figured it wouldn't take you too long to close the deal with the big multinational, and that you'd be in New York before ten o'clock at night. So that morning you headed for Pennsylvania Station in downtown Manhattan and 3 hours and 40 minutes later you arrived at South Station in downtown Boston.

You had never been to Boston, a magnificent city with a great history that you barely had time to enjoy. You arrived carrying your coat and your bag, you didn't need anything else, besides, the less stuff you had on you the better it would be for your mobility. When you arrived you realised that the city was preparing for a nearby holiday, as many streets were blocked off, preventing traffic from passing, which meant that your taxi driver was late arriving at the company's headquarters located in "East Boston".

The meetings went on forever, your potential shareholders were not entirely sure about the future that your company could offer them, and so the hours passed incessantly without reaching any concrete agreement. The constant interruptions from your boss wanting to know the situation were not very helpful either, and the bad mood that was taking over your body, as it was your day off and therefore you shouldn't be there, was a little bump in the road.

You had set yourself a time limit, but you knew you could not return to New York City without signing that agreement or you would be removed from your position at the company. Sometimes you begged for that reinstatement, because the position of head of external relations made your life more bitter than happy. This was evident when your partner of five years, Michael, decided to give up on your relationship, you were barely home and you discovered that he had been having several encounters with a former colleague at work, finally when you told him you knew, your partner opted to leave home and take a job in Los Angeles.

At first you thought that maybe it was for the best, that you should focus on your work projects, for which you had been fighting so hard, but eventually you realised that you were really in love with him, although at no time did you justify his cheating behind your back. Your ex-partner came to you two months later regretting his behaviour and asking for a second chance, at first you were reluctant, but finally you agreed to have dinner with him, he was returning to New York for a work trip, because you loved him. The dinner was that night, the Sunday night you had to travel to Boston, Michael had been in New York for a week, but you had barely seen each other, and first thing Sunday morning he returns to Los Angeles, so you only had that opportunity to find out if it was really worth it to resume something that had been lost.

The contract was signed at exactly 9:20pm, you had to call Michael, and inform him that you were not going to make it to the dinner, but that you would go to his hotel first thing in the morning to have breakfast with him before he got on the plane, he begged you to go straight to his hotel when you arrived, whatever time it was, you finally agreed.

You were inside a taxi, the last train leaving for New York was at 9:50pm, but as usual the universe was against you. The streets had become increasingly busy, the driver informed you that the following day was Patriot's Day, an annual event commemorating the battles of Lexington and Concord, and the Battle of Menotomy, the first battles of the American Revolutionary War. You tuned out completely as I explained the history of the holiday, just staring out the window praying that you would be on time to catch that train.

"How far is it from here to South Station?" you asked when the car could barely move because of the traffic jam.

"Fifteen minutes if you walk fast and shortcut down this avenue," he commented.

Without a second thought, you offered him the fifty-dollar note you had in your hand at the ready and dashed out of the car, dodging the other cars that were crowded together at the intersection. Your negative orienteering experiences were alleviated by the city's good signage that constantly pointed you in the direction of the South Boston station. Your mind was focused on getting there before 9:50pm when the last train was leaving, it was now 9:30pm and if you were informed by the conductor that if you were going at a brisk pace you could be there in 15 minutes, that is 9:45pm.

You ran trying to dodge the crowd, constantly uttering "excuse me" and keeping a proper rhythm in your breathing so as not to choke before your time, you could tell it had been months since you had been out for exercise as you had to stop twice to catch your breath. But what took your breath away the most was when you discovered that you were carrying too little weight. You stopped dead in your tracks and looked at your arms, your hands, your bag was gone. You looked around, quickly thought about whether you might have lost it running, but realised that you had actually run so fast out of the taxi that you had completely forgotten to take your bag.

Panic invaded every limb of your body, but as you reached into your coat pockets and found the ticket that would take you back to New York you thought that was all you really needed, everything inside your bag might be replaceable in the future. You continued on your way to the station, in a few minutes you could see the entrance at the bottom of Federal Street. You quickened your pace across the square, as you tried to enter you bumped into people who were trying to exit the building slowing you down. You entered the hall a little disoriented and ran towards the platforms where the trains were leaving, you ran down the stairs, but your eyes discovered something that your mind did not want to think about, they saw how the rear lights of the last train were lost in the darkness of the night.

Your body stood still for a few moments, while your consciousness didn't understand what had just happened, or rather didn't want to understand it. In your right hand waved the ticket to New York, your only possession at the moment. You stood to one side of the stairs, so that the last two people could walk up to the station hall, while you stood for a few minutes staring at the train tracks.

You decided that all was not lost, there would be more train or even bus stations that could take you to New York that night. You retraced your steps, finding that the shops in the hall were closing, but the information window was still open. You waited until he had finished serving a customer and bowed to the gentleman.

"Excuse me, I need to go to New York tonight," you said, showing him the ticket, being as calm as possible.

"I'm sorry, but the last train had just left," he said without so much as a glance at you, counting the cash register.

"I know, I know, but I need to get to New York tonight," you insisted again. "I suppose there's another train station in the city, or even a bus station."

"I'm sorry, but the last transport to New York City is the Northeast Regional that just left this station right now," he finally laid his eyes on you, interlacing his fingers. "But first thing tomorrow morning, you'll have trains available again so you can go to New York.

"First thing tomorrow morning?" you asked a little hopefully.

"At 6:05am the first train leaves for Pennsylvania Station," he reported, staring at his electronic screen.

"I can't wait until 6:00 am tomorrow," you said, raising your tone a little. "Do you think a taxi driver would be willing to take me to New York?

"You can try," he said with a shrug. "But they're not licensed to drive outside the state of Massachusetts."

"Okay..." you said with a blank stare. "Excuse me, one last thing, if I forgot my purse in a taxi, where can I go to pick it up?"

"If he is an honest person he will have taken it to Boston police headquarters to be handed over to the Hackney lost property division," he informed you, offering me a small card. "Call here.

"Alright, thank you." Your voice sounded utterly depressed.

With a tremendous disappointment inside you, you definitely accepted his words and did not insist any more, you understood, the last means of transport connecting the Boston and New York line had left, there was no more. You took a breath nodding and realising that there was a person behind you who wanted to ask a question, you opted to head towards the nearest seats to think. You were in a completely unfamiliar city, you had to spend the night there and you had barely a coat and a useless train ticket until the next morning. Even though your thoughts were racing, trying to find a solution, you couldn't find one, there were too many negative feelings that were making you despair.

"Are you all right?" the voice came from a shadow that covered the light of the station's harsh floodlights.

You didn't answer him, just stared at him and nodded slowly, but at that very moment a station cleaner approached you.

"I'm sorry but we are closing," he reported.

"Closing?" you asked a little confused.

"The station closes from 10pm until 5am," he commented, walking away again.

That was another inconvenience your head didn't count on, you had thought that since you had to wait for a new train to leave, you could spend the night there, since you had nowhere else to go, nor money or identification that could allow you to do so. You nodded to yourself and totally disoriented you got up from your seat and headed towards the main exit of the building, you barely noticed what was going on around you, you didn't even realise how the boy who had asked you if you were alright had followed you and stood next to you.

"Do you want to share a taxi?" he asked, which brought you out of your thoughts for a moment.

"Excuse me?" you had barely heard his words.

"I was saying do you want us to share a taxi," he repeated again showing kind features on his face.

"No, I'm fine," you said and looked around again for solutions.

The young man was not giving up after your refusals, so he finally closed the taxi door and approached you again, hoping that you would finally accept the help he wanted to offer.

"Really?" he insisted, "Because it didn't look like it in there."

"I'm fine," you frowned, beginning to feel uncomfortable at his intrusion, you didn't need anyone to help you. "Really."

"Alright," he held up his hands and headed towards the taxi again. "Hey buddy! Do you think you could get this lady closer to New York?"

His words fully captured your attention, you raised your face and turned it towards the man who was talking to the driver through a rolled down window.

"To New York City?!" exclaimed the driver somewhat taken aback by your words.

"Yes!" you exclaimed running towards the rolled down window. "Specifically to Midtown Manhattan, the corner of Sixth Avenue and Bryant Park."

"Midtown Manhattan, Sixth Avenue and Bryant Park," repeated the young man who was trying to help you.

"That would be an all-night drive," declared the taxi driver hesitantly. "Besides, I can't drive in another state, they might take away my license..."

"I'll pay whatever it takes if you can get me back to New York by six in the morning," you begged with a thread of hope in your gut.

"It must be 220 miles one way," he said, doing the math. "All told, about 440, counting gas and the risk that my license could be revoked..."

"Whatever," you insisted again. "I'll pay you anything."

"All right," nodded the man, gesturing for you to get into the taxi. "We'll leave it at $1,200."

"Thank you very much, I'll pay you as soon as we get there," you informed humbly before getting into the car, which caused the situation to take an unexpected turn.

"Wait, I need half the money up front," the taxi driver began. "Otherwise we won't get out of this block."

"The truth is..." you began as your hopes dwindled.

"It's on me," said the young man next to you quickly, which caused you to half-open your lips and look at him in complete bewilderment. "You'll pay me back."

"Wait," you said stopping his hands before he pulled out his credit card. How do you know I'll pay you back, and why are you doing this?"

"I guess I'm trying to do my good deed for the day," a smile appeared on his face, which confused you even more if that was possible. "Besides, do you have another option?"

The boy offered his credit card to the taxi driver, and you were stunned when you realised that the man was paying 600 dollars to a complete stranger to travel to New York. Who the hell does that these days? Who was that guy?

"This card is expired," the driver reported, handing the card back to him through the window of the car.

"Expired?" the boy looked at it. "Shit, it expired last week. Don't worry, I've got another one."

The blue-eyed young man looked at you and smiled a sheepish smile, you had hardly smiled all day.

"It's not active," the taxi driver reported again, handing back the card.

"Shit..." the young man looked at her, " Alright, let me get my phone out and... fuck, no battery."

"Really?!" you exclaimed at the situation before your eyes. "Is there anything working in your life?"

That question you blurted out without thinking that the most unfortunate person at that moment was you, you even surpassed what had just happened to that boy. Finally the taxi driver, seeing the situation, decided to roll up his window and leave instead of wasting his time with you.

" Oh shit!" you exclaimed, holding your hands to your head as you realised that your hopes were lost.

You were the same as you were, well worse, because now you had one more disappointment inside you. You opted that the best decision was to reap your own destiny, alone, so you returned to your original position and stood looking at the car traffic at that wide intersection in the city of Boston, wondering what to do. Surely you would find another taxi driver who would decide to take you to New York, even if you didn't pay him on the spot.

"Well," said the young man approaching you again. "What do you feel like doing?"

You narrowed your eyes, not understanding why he was trying to help you, nor the need he had to spend more time with you. What was clear to you was that he was not helping.

"Do you really have nothing better to do tonight?" you asked him somewhat quizzically, with an edge to your tone.

"Wow," he arched his eyebrows in a smirk. "Is that how you treat someone who's trying to help you?"

"Help me?" you laughed, shoving your hands into your coat. "Well, I guess it's the thought that counts."

"Yeah... even if my cards don't work and I have no battery in my mobile, at least I'm at my destination," he said with irony, provoking a shudder inside you. "Come on, what do you want to do, do you want to go to a hotel?" you frowned at his words to which he laughed as he contemplated your reaction. "Oh no, I mean spend the night, correction, for you to spend the night... Alright, leave it."

"I'm not going to sit idle in a hotel," you said gruffly. "I need to get to New York before dawn."

" Alright..."

You were both silent for a while, trying to avoid thinking about Michael, how he would be waiting all night for you to come and you probably wouldn't even get there before he left for Los Angeles. But in trying not to remember your situation, you realised how rude you had been to this young man, who only seemed to be kind to you and whose name you barely knew.

"I'm sorry," you said, turning to him and nodding.

"No problem," he said smiling at you and held out his hand to you. "I'm Chris, by the way."

You nodded looking at his hand, after all he was a complete stranger and somewhat peculiar, so you opted to offer a fake name.

"Adriana," you finally shook his hand.

"Nice name," he said, putting on his red sox cap, at which point you realised that his features were somewhat familiar. "I really love the night in Boston, so I could stay here forever, but I'm pretty hungry after the trip. I know you need to get to New York, but standing here you won't be able to do much, do you feel like joining me for a bite to eat? We can figure something out while we eat."

Those words reminded you that you hadn't had a bite to eat since lunchtime, and your stomach felt resentful, it was begging for some food to be shoved in, so that plan sounded really good. On the other hand, you weren't receptive to the idea of leaving the place with a complete stranger, and you didn't have any money on you.

"I don't have any money," you reminded him. "And you don't look like you do either."

"Just because I don't have six hundred dollars on me doesn't mean I don't have money on me so we can afford to eat something," he said, flashing his sweet smile again. "Come on. I know just the place on Beacon Hill. It's not too far from here."

You took a full breath, surrendering to her idea and nodded, if you had to stay awake until six in the morning, at least you'd have a full stomach. So you started to walk to your left.

"Hey! Where are you going?" he asked hanging up his backpack again.

"Beacon Hill?" you pointed to your left.

"Beacon Hill," he said, pulling his hand out of his pocket and pointing to the opposite side.

You accepted your confusion and misdirection and with a smile you nodded and stood next to him.

"Wow, you can smile," he exclaimed. "It could be a nice night after all."

to be continued . . .

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

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[ghstandpucks]

Cutting Edge ~ Nathan MacKinnon Ch. 8

Hi everyone! I hope you are all doing well! I’m sorry this chapter took so long, but I hope you all like it! After school is done for the semester I will have time to update more frequently! This chapter kind of just feels out their relationship, setting up for the final chapters to come! Enjoy and let me know what you think!

I hope you all have a happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate! Be safe and stay healthy!

Prologue Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7

  Monday afternoon found Nate and yourself at the rink after practice was over. The two of you had spent a lazy Sunday together, working out how this relationship was going to work. You both decided to keep it quiet, seeing as neither of you were fond of the media to begin with. Also, you did not think it would look good for you and the program if word got out. The two of you wanted to enjoy the fun that’s supposed to come with the beginning of a relationship and not feel pressured by outside sources. You also decided that the team would find out as they found out, agreeing that it would help to have people on your side if word were to get out to the public.

All of this didn’t matter though as at the moment Nate had picked you up to move you to the side as he shot a puck into the net. “Not fair!” you yelled, laughing as Nate skated back over to you, kissing your forehead with a smirk. “That has to be a foul.”

           “A foul?” Nate questioned you.

           “A flag?” you questioned as he shook his head and chuckled. He was about to correct you when you jumped in. “Oh wait, a penalty! Yup! That has to be a penalty!”

           “Come on Coach, you really should know the terminology better by now,” he grinned, snaking his arms around your waist.

           “Guess you’ll have to do a better job at teaching me,” you smiled up at him, wrapping your hand that was not holding a hockey stick around the back of Nate’s neck.

           “Is that so?” he questioned, leaning in. You nodded your head as he kissed you. You were thankful for your toe picks in that moment, allowing you stand on your tip toes without taking the both of you out. Nate held you tight to him as he deepened the kiss, and you were about to let go of your stick when someone cleared their throat. The both of you jumped away from each other like shrapnel, looking over to see who caught you. Gabe stood at the edge of the rink with his arms crossed.

           “If the two of you are trying to keep this a secret, maybe don’t make out in an open space,” he said, then grinned at you and Nate. He couldn’t help it; he honestly liked the thought of the both of you together. That and both you and Nate were bright red with embarrassment of being caught. “Are you trying to keep this a secret?”

           “I think more just quiet,” you said softly, looking over at Nate. He nodded in agreement.

           “We don’t plan on telling anyone. Just if they find out, then they find out,” Nate clarified for you. Gabe nodded.

           “I won’t say anything. Besides to Mel that is. But seriously guys, hide better if you don’t really want word out about this. I know he’s concerned about your program Coach, so I’m assuming you are too,” Gabe said matter of fact. It was your turn to nod. Nate grabbed your hand and started to skate over to Gabe.

           “Thanks man,” he said once you got closer. Gabe smiled, looking between the two of you.

           “Of course. I’m happy for the both of you. But he better not get any special treatment Coach, or I will call you out,” he tried to act seriously, but you could see the amusement all over his face.

           “Oh please, he’s the only one I’ve made skate extra laps before,” you giggled, bumping your hip into Nate’s, which was more of his thigh at your height difference.

           “I’m going to hold you to that,” Gabe chuckled, and you dramatically saluted him. “I’ll see you tomorrow guys.” After he left, the two of you decided it was time to leave also.

           “Maybe we should be a little more discrete,” you said as you were taking your skates off.

           “I didn’t think anyone else was here. I definitely didn’t think of anyone coming back in,” Nate said, cleaning the ice off of his.

           “It’ll be fine right, if word gets out that we’re dating?” you asked, and Nate could tell you were beginning to overthink. He placed his hand on top of yours and gave it a slight squeeze.

           “We’ll be just fine Y/N. And I’ll be right there beside you,” Nate reassured you and you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your lips. “But, we probably should be a little more aware of our surroundings. So, lunch at your place or mine?”

~ ~ ~

           Later that month the team had just arrived back in Denver after a week-long road trip. You had been more careful in your relationship with Nate, texting more on the road instead of sitting next to each other. Finally being back home though gave you two the privacy you wanted. You were currently sitting crossed legged in the middle of Nate’s bed as he unpacked his clothes, having stolen one of his Avs’ hoodies. After arriving back home, Nate had asked you to come over instead of going home first, as he figured you would pass out the second you hit the couch, or bed in this instance. “Can we take a nap?” you lazily watched him bustle around his room. It wasn’t the first time you had been over, but it was the first time you had been this comfortable. As soon as you had walked through the door of his apartment you changed into a pair of leggings and stole his sweatshirt, the chill of the vacant place getting to you. Nate was about to give you a hard time, until he looked at you and it seemed like his world stopped. He loved seeing you dressed up for games and then skating at the rink, but now he thinks that this is his favorite look on you. He walked over to you and placed a kiss on your forehead, laughing as you gave him your best puppy dog eyes.

           “Aren’t you hungry?” he asked, as you had been complaining about how your stomach was starting to ‘eat itself’ as you put it.

           “Cuddles first, then food.” You responded as Nate sat on the bed and tackled you down, causing you to giggle.

           “You’re so demanding,” he mumbled, tracing the 29 that was on your shoulder.

           “All part of my charm,” you stated, snuggling into his chest as Nate chuckled. Nate started to tell you about the Mile High Dream Gala coming up as you slowly drifted off, feeling warm and content in his arms.

           About an hour later, a phone ringing woke you up. You cuddled into Nate’s side, one of his arms under you and resting on your hip as the other held your hand that was resting on his chest. You grumbled, rolling over as Nate answered his phone. You could hear Andre on the other end. As you started to drift off again, you had the sudden urge to sneeze…and it came out much louder than you anticipated. You stifled a giggle as Nate absentmindedly said “bless you.” Andre must have asked who he was talking to because the next words out of Nate’s mouth were, “Y/N just sneezed,” and both of your eyes went wide. Time to put Andre on the list of people who knew. Nate told him the two of you were keeping it quiet, and he seemed to understand from the look on Nate’s face. Once Nate hung up, you sat up and started to scoot yourself off the bed. “Where are you going?” Nate mumbled, grabbing the fabric at the back of your stolen sweatshirt.

           “I was going to go get those take out menus you have so we could order dinner,” you stated, falling back onto the bed and smiling up at Nate as he trapped you beneath him.

           “Five more minutes,” he whispered, kissing you softly then moving to kiss your neck.

           “Five more minutes,” you hummed.

~ ~ ~

           A week later the Gala had arrived and you were finishing putting on your earrings, staring at the dress Mel had helped you picked out in the mirror. When you told her that you weren’t sure what to wear, she had picked you up and took you shopping. You ended up with a deep blue floor length dress with a slit up the side. Slipping on your nude heels, your phone went off with a text from Mel saying that her and Gabe were there to pick you up. While Mel was gushing about how adorable she thought you and Nate were, you admitted that you didn’t think arriving with him to the Gala would be a good idea. She told you not to worry, then called you the next day to tell you that her and Gabe would pick you up, then have to leave before you and secure you a “ride home” with Nate. You laughed at her scheming, but were also grateful to have someone like Mel on your side.

           “You look amazing!” Mel said as you hopped into the back seat.

           “Thanks! So do you!” you smiled back at her. “Thanks for the ride you guys.”

           “No problem Coach. You do look very nice,” Gabe complimented you, shooting you a smile through the mirror. You thanked him and talked with them the rest of the way to the Gala. Once you were there and about to walk in, Gabe offered you his elbow to hold on to as Mel was at his other side.

           “Are you trying to have two hot dates?” Mel teased her husband as you placed your hand in the crook of his arm.

           “I mean, who doesn’t?” Gabe chuckled. “But I think someone might fight me for this one…” he tilted his head toward you. “…so I guess I’ll stick with you,” he kissed Mel on her cheek and you couldn’t help but smile at the happy couple. Upon entering the hall, the smell of wonderful appetizers filled your nose and chatter filled the air. Looking to the left, Bednar was the first to spot your little group arriving and made his way over, introducing you to his wife. As you exchanged pleasantries, you felt a presence stand next to you and smiled wider as you looked over at Nate. He was in a grey suit that fit him perfectly, and it took everything in you to not wrap your arms around him. His tie was blue, and you laughed at the unintentional match. You hadn’t shown him your dress, or told him the color for that matter because you liked keeping things a surprise every once in a while.

           “MacKinnon, you didn’t bring anyone?” Bednar asked, shaking Nate’s hand.

           “No sir,” he responded with a soft smile.

           “Take this one. Two dates are a handful,” Gabe nudged you into Nate as Mel smacked his arm playfully.

           “Rude,” you laughed, hoping you weren’t blushing too much in front of Bednar. But if Bednar noticed anything, he didn’t say and just chuckled.

           “We have a table Y/N. But if you’d rather sit with them you are more than welcomed to. I know you’ve become friends with some of the players,” Bednar said, motioning to the Landeskog’s and Nate. You opened your mouth to say something that still made your relationship with everyone seem professional, but he cut you off. “Which is a good thing. They trust you more that way. And I trust whatever relations you have you are using your best judgment.” Bednar smiled at you as you nodded.

           “Of course,” was all you could say as Bednar took his leave. You turned to Nate, slightly uneasy. “Does he know?” you whispered.

           “I didn’t think so,” Nate said, looking at where his coach had walked off to. When he turned back to you, he grinned. “You look beautiful.” You ducked your head as you felt your cheeks heat up.

           “Thank you. You clean up nicely as well,” you responded as Nate offered you his arm to walk you over to the table Gabe and Mel had set up at. Mel eyed you as you approached.

           “You guys are disgustingly cute. I can’t with either of you,” she said.

           “I think Bednar knows something,” you said as you sat next to her, Nate sitting on your other side.

           “What did he say?” she questioned you.

           “He said he knew I was becoming friends with the team and that he trusts I am using my best judgment,” you filled her in. Gabe chuckled and you quirked an eyebrow at him.

           “You guys don’t realize it but you kind of gravitate toward each other at practice. It’s not anything too noticeable, but if you are paying attention you can see that at the least the two of you are comfortable in each other’s presence.” Gabe filled you in. You turned to look at Nate and he just shrugged.

           “That’s not a bad thing,” he said, and you agreed. At least Bednar didn’t seem upset by it. As the night continued you had been introduced to many new people and had answered many questions about why integrating figure skating into hockey was useful. You found you way back to your table and sat down, your feet starting to hurt. No one said 3-inch heels was a good idea. You had also lost Nate somewhere in the sea of people. You were about to go looking when Andre slid into the seat next to you.

           “How’s it going Coach?” he asked.

           “Good, exhausting,” you laughed and he nodded in agreement.

           “Has Nate danced with you yet?” Andre questioned, motioning to the dance floor that had many couples dancing on it.

           “No,” you said. “We’re keeping quiet so I don’t think a dance would be good.”

           “It’s just a dance.” Andre said, standing up. “Come on Coach,” he offered you his hand.

           “Andre…” you started to protest but were cut off.

           “Come on. Live a bit Y/N! You look too nice to just be sitting here,” he argued. You rolled your eyes but took his hand and let him lead you to the dance floor. He put one hand on your waist as he held the other; your other hand resting on his shoulder. You were laughing at a stupid joke he made as he spun you around and into Nate. “Lovely dancing with you Coach,” he dramatically bowed, and you did a small curtsy to play along. Nate chuckled as he took the same position Andre had, but holding you closer to him. To anyone else it would look innocent enough, but the way his hand held firmly to your waist as he looked at you adoringly made your heart speed up slightly. Nate deftly tried to spin you, and you laughed as you came crashing back into him.

           “You’re a terrible lead MacKinnon,” you teased.

           “Maybe you just aren’t good at following,” he quipped back. You danced for the next few songs, noticing the evening was winding down. Walking back to the table, you both sat down as Mel and Gabe came over.

           “So, we’re going to go. Nate, can you give Y/N a ride home?” Mel smiled innocently. You tried not to laugh as Gabe sent a wink your way. Nate rolled his eyes but was smiling anyways.

           “Of course. If that’s ok with you,” Nate nudged you. You smiled back at him.

           “Good. Have a good night you guys,” Gabe said, leading Mel out of the room. After making your rounds to say goodbye, you walked out with Nate. He opened the door of his car for you, and held your hand as he started to drive. The two of you were lost in conversation about the night that you hadn’t realized he drove to his place and not yours.

           “Um” you said, looking over at him before you got out.

           “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I can take you home if you don’t want to stay,” Nate said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

           “It’s fine,” you said softly. Though the two of you fell asleep on your couch that first night when you got together, you hadn’t stayed at each other’s places since then. Quite frankly, you had always been so busy with skating that you had never actually spent the night with anyone. Nate was different though, and he made you feel safe. Even if you weren’t ready for that next step, you couldn’t deny that you wanted to spend as much time as possible with him. Finally the two of you were away from prying eyes and you could be yourselves. As you walked into his apartment and he locked the door, Nate grabbed your hand and pulled you back into him. He smiled down at you, dipping his head to bring his lips to yours. You let your arms wrap around his neck, and smiled brightly when he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours. Nate knew you didn’t have much experience with dating, and wasn’t looking to push you. He honestly just didn’t want to let you go for the night.

           “I’ve been waiting all night to do that,” he whispered and you giggled. “Have I told you that you look beautiful?”

           “Yes. But you can always tell me again,” you responded, laughing when Nate bent down and threw you over his shoulder. He walked to his room and tossed you unceremoniously on the bed. You started to take your heels off as he rustled through his drawers.  

           “Here,” he said, tossing some clothes onto the bed.

           “Hey, I’ve been looking for these!” you said as you grabbed the pair of leggings you thought you lost from traveling two weeks ago.

           “I think they fell out of your bag when you changed over here last time after we got back from the road trip. I just washed them with my stuff and kept them here for you,” Nate shrugged, sitting on the edge of the bed to take his shoes off.

           “You kept my leggings?”

           “You stole my sweatshirt,” he chirped back, and you laughed. You did indeed take his sweatshirt home with you with no intentions of giving it back. Not that Nate actually minded. You couldn’t wear his jersey to the games like all the other girlfriends and wives, so he liked seeing you in something with his number on it. After changing into said leggings and one of Nate’s Avs shirts, you brushed your teeth with a tooth brush Nate claimed as yours from here on out. Then after washing the make up off your face, you crawled under the covers of Nate’s bed and waited for him to finish up. He came back into the room with just basketball shorts on, and you couldn’t help but stare at his toned body. “Like what you see?” he teased you.

           “Maybe a little,” you blushed at being caught. Nate laughed and got into bed next to you.

           “Is this alright? I can sleep on the couch if you want me to,” he said softly and you shook your head.

           “Stay here,” you whispered back, scooting up to kiss him. The kiss was soft this time, almost like a silent prayer, and you cuddled into him as he wrapped his arm around your waist.

           “This is going to work Y/N. Whether people know or not. We’re going to work this out,” Nate said as you pulled back, running his thumb over your cheek.

           “I really hope so,” you spoke, tucking your head under his chin and letting his strong heartbeat lull you to sleep.

Tags: @bqstqnbruin​ @avsfans95​ @andreiaafaria​ @gravygravygravy​ @comphybiscuit

[loversthroughtime]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28946823 It had been over 3 weeks since Kagome had gone home, and she was starting to feel the toll it was taking on her mind and body. Usually it wouldn’t have bothered her so much, as she had gone up to almost 2 months without returning to the modern world, but lately they had been fighting more demons than usual, besides all the studying she had been doing to catch up on missed work, luckily she didn’t have any upcoming exams or homework deadlines, but it was important to recap on everything so she wouldn’t be completely lost the next time she attended school. “Inuyasha it’ll just be a couple days. I need a break, I’m gonna lose my mind if I don’t get to rest at least a couple days in the comfort of my home, please let me go” Kagome was on the verge of a mental breakdown over not being able to return home, not that it mattered what Inuyasha said since she would be going either way, but it was nice when he didn’t fight her all the way there. “If I may,” Said Miroku stepping in, “ we are also starting to feel the need to rest, as you know, Sango and I are also human, and we could also use a few days for ourselves. It would be excellent to gather supplies and gather some energy for when we next encounter Naraku.” Sango smiled and nodded next to Miroku. “I could also use this time to fix some weapons that have gotten damaged over the last few battles, as Miroku said, Naraku is in hiding, this is the best time to gather our strength and prepare for what’s to come, otherwise we’ll be too tired to perform well in battle” Inuyasha was pensive at what his companions had just said. They all made perfect sense, and he agreed that some rest would be more beneficial than not. However, the fact that Naraku was in hiding gave them an advantage in gathering more jewel shards, not to mention getting more information on his whereabouts would be a win if he wasn’t expecting them to show up wherever he was hiding. “Well, it’s decided, since the majority voted for resting” Kagome was thrilled at her friends backing her up. “You can come with me to my time if you’d like Inuyasha, you don’t have to stay here and sulk like they say you always do.” At that Inuyasha’s cheeks turned red, his eyes widening in disbelief. “Keh, as if I would ever sulk, much less over you wasting time by going back to your house” He scoffed, turning his back towards the group. “But since you are all weak humans, I suppose it would be a waste of time to keep going if all you’ll do is complain” He started walking in the direction Kaede’s village was, it would probably take them a little over half the day to get there, but it was still very early in the day, so they would be getting there right before sunset without a problem. The walk back to the village went smoothly, they didn’t run into any trouble, and they were able to enjoy their time together by occasionally playing games, and singing on their way there. Kagome carried around a portable microphone she would pull out so they each had a go at singing a song, aside from Kagome, none of them were particularly good at singing, but they were having a good time, so it didn’t really matter. Since they were having fun, they got to the village in what seemed like no time at all. The sky had just started turning a beautiful shade of orange and pink when Kagome finally made it to the well. “I won’t be gone too long, four days at most, I promise, I just need to catch up on a little bit of school” She smiled at her friends who had decided to accompany her all the way there. “No worries Kagome, take all the time you need” Said Sango, gaining a death stare from Inuyasha at her words. “Yeah Kagome, you need to rest! We’ll miss you but we know you’ll be back soon” Smiled Shippo perched on Miroku’s shoulder. “Are you sure you don’t want to come, Inuyasha? My offer still stands.” Said Kagome a little more hopeful than she intended, she usually loved getting time away from him, but for some reason lately the thought of being apart from him made her heart sink in her chest a little bit, almost like having a piece of herself torn away. Kagome mentally slapped herself at such thought, since when was Inuyasha a part of her? No, she definitely needed some time away. “Keh, I have nothing to do over there, and you’re always saying I annoy you, just get back in time” and with that he took off towards the forest before anyone was able to say anything else about the matter. “Well, that’s that.” Kagome said her goodbyes to the group and jumped into well that would take her 500 years into the future, leaving her companions alone as they started making their way back to Kaede’s village. “Sango my dear, how about a little bet?” Miroku smirked. “What do you have in mind, Monk?” Sango was a little reluctant to hear what Miroku had to say, given the fact that whatever came out of his mouth could never be good, much less now that he had such a mischievous look on his face. “I’ll bet you whatever you want that he follows her to her time at the latest tomorrow afternoon” “Okay, I’ll take you up on that one” Sango was the one that smirked this time “I bet you he goes back tonight, and if he does you have to keep your hands to yourself for a month” “A - A MONTH?! Sango dear, don’t you think that’s pushing it a little bit?” he said fearfully, as he didn’t actually think she would bet Inuyasha would follow Kagome at an earlier time than he had originally suggested, and to be frank, knowing Inuyasha he wasn’t confident at all it wouldn’t happen. “So what do you say?” “Ah, I actually think betting goes against everything I believe in as a monk. Such behaviors are to be condemned. Morally speaking, I can’t partake in such an activity” As he said this his left hand was making its way towards Sango’s bottom half, which luckily she caught on to, smacking him with all her might before it made contact with her body. “Why do you always have to be like this?” Shippo asked him with a sigh. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kagome had dropped her backpack in her room, and was gathering her supplies to take a nice warm bath. She was feeling more than ever how sore her body was from the constant fighting and running, she hadn’t taken her bike in a while cause she always had to leave it when a battle broke out, and it was such a pain to look for it, although Inuyasha could find it fairly easily with his sense of smell, it was still annoying, and if she was being honest it was more annoying than helpful, especially when she was tired of riding, and of having to push the damn thing around. Kagome stepped into the warm tub and contemplated how much she’d grown over the last months, it was crazy to think how her life had changed drastically overnight, being thrown into a world of constant danger, but she wouldn’t have it any other way if she was given the choice. Which she did, as she chose to spend the majority of her time there. Her friends had become family, and Inuyasha had become such a natural extension of herself, that whenever they were apart from each other, all she did was miss him, and wait until they were together again, as much as he annoyed her some times. “There I go again” she sighed, and started drying herself and getting dressed. “Thinking about him when he’s not here, even him driving me completely crazy is better than being apart” She had picked out a green long sleeved shirt and pajama shorts since the temperature was neither hot nor cold. Grabbing her dirty laundry off the floor, she made her way into her room, almost face planting as she walked around her bed to close the open window, tumbling over something that definitely should not have been on the floor. “Inuyasha! What are you doing here? I thought you said you weren’t gonna come” She said after regaining her footing and realizing that what she had tripped over, were Inuyasha’s outstretched legs, since he had been sitting on the floor. “Keh, don’t think I came for you or nothing.” he scoffed, cheeks turning slightly pink “I was just bored out of my mind, all Miroku does is flirt, and all Sango does is slap him, Shippo is annoying, and don’t get me started on that old hag” he crossed his legs and tucked his hands into the sleeves of his robes. “Well, I’m glad you came, it gets boring being out here by myself” “Is your family not here?” He asked, turning his head in her direction a little faster than he intended. “No, they left me a note saying Grandpa had some kind of convention, and mom and Sota decided to tag along since they didn’t have anything to do, they’ll be back tomorrow afternoon” She dumped her dirty clothes in the laundry basket she kept in her room, and made her way over to the bed, sitting right next to Inuyasha on the floor. “Why didn’t you come back? If you didn’t want to be alone you should’ve just returned to the village” “If I had returned, you would’ve made us get back on the road tomorrow, and I told you, I need to rest. I’m sore all over, I honestly don’t even know how I made it back all the way to my house. One more step and my legs would’ve given in” “Well… I can carry you, you know? All you have to do is ask” Kagome’s cheeks were slowly turning red at his offering. If she had to choose a favorite way of travelling, she had to admit that riding on Inuyasha’s back beat any other way of transportation by a LONG shot. “Thank you Inuyasha, that’s very sweet of you. I will definitely take you up on that one” They sat in silence for a while since they were both still madly blushing from their conversation, neither one really knew why they were so flushed over something they did almost every day. It wasn’t like he had never given her a ride before, but offering to carry her when she was tired, and not just in the midst of battle, or when they needed to get somewhere in a hurry, made the act seem a lot more intimate. Kagome looked over at him, and smiled to herself, noticing how handsome he was. She was never one to say such things to him, although she admitted it to herself every time she got a glimpse of his face. “What are you looking at?” Inuyasha had turned to look at her and noticed she had a very strange look on her face, her eyes seemed to sparkle, and she had a smile that curved to one side more than the other, she looked so cute, and the realization of that made his face feel hot. “Nothing! I was just thinking” she averted her eyes quickly, and tried to focus her attention on something else, when she noticed he had grass stuck to his robe, near where his rib cage was, so she reached her hand over and started picking it out of his clothes, when he suddenly pulled away in a suspiciously jumpy manner. Realization hit Kagome like a ton of bricks “Inuyasha, are you… ticklish?” she asked in disbelief. Inuyasha’s face was all the answer she needed, his eyes had gone round and big, his cheeks were pink, and he was trying to talk but nothing coherent was coming out. She never would’ve thought that Inuyasha who seemed so tough, who always shrugged off any sign of what he considered a weakness, was ticklish. Mischief filled Kagome’s entire face, her eyes were sparkling, her smile went from ear to ear. Inuyasha had never seen someone look so happy, yet so scary, and at that thought, she launched herself at him, placing her hands on both sides of his torso and tickling him to her heart's content. The laughs coming out of Inuyasha, where making Kagome’s heart swell three times its normal size. She had never heard such a glorious sound coming out of him. Sure, she had heard him laugh whenever they were goofing around, or he did a sort of evil laugh when he was mocking someone he didn’t particularly like. But this was unlike any of those things. This was his pure, most uncensored laugh. She could hear the roughness of his voice, it was low, and husky. It matched him perfectly, and all she wanted was to be able to hear that sound for the rest of her life. “St-  STOP, HAHAHHAAHHA” it was getting hard to breathe through all the laughter “KAGOME, HAHAHA, STOP” He was kicking and thrashing under her, careful not to hurt her, but still trying to scurry away from her. No one had ever tickled him since his mother had died, and although his lungs were on absolute fire from laughing, he couldn’t say he hated the feeling. He was especially loving the enjoyment Kagome was getting out of this, and making her happy was all that mattered to him, no matter how much he said otherwise. After what seemed like an eternity, Kagome stopped tickling him, she was laughing as she allowed him to regain his breath. “I can’t believe you’re ticklish, god will I use this to my advantage from now on! When I was little my mom would threaten me with tickles if I didn’t want to do something, it worked in her favor so well because-” At that Inuyasha flipped her under him, and with an eyebrow raised and a teasing grin, he started tickling her the same way she had done to him. Being mindful of his claws he ran his hands through her body, tickling her stomach, under her arms, her neck. Anywhere he touched made her thrash and let out what sounded like heaven to Inuyasha’s ears. Her voice was high, but not in a deafening way, it was smooth, and fruity, and he could say without a flicker of a doubt that it was his favorite sound in the entire world. “OKAY HAHAHHAHAHA TRUCE, HAHAHAHHA TR- TRUCE” He stopped tickling her, and relished in the moment, one of his hands had found its way behind her back, the other in the little curve between her neck and shoulder. He had somehow ended up fully on top of her, his face mere inches away from hers. He could feel the warmth of her breath on his mouth. This made him lower his gaze from her eyes to her lips. Her lips, he had never seen anything like them. They were plump and luscious, naturally the color of cherry blossoms in the spring. He licked his lips, and returned his gaze to her eyes, finding her looking down, directly at HIS own lips, without a second thought he went in, taking her mouth into his own. If the look of her lips was perfect, the taste of them was something else. They were as soft as they looked, and tasted sweet, similar to the way her scent was, it reminded him of peaches somehow. He ran his tongue across her lower lip asking for better access, and deepening the kiss once she opened her mouth at his request. One of her hands had made its way to the side of his face, and she had intertwined her fingers through his hair, pulling him as close as humanly possible. If heaven existed, it was this, Kagome’s lips against his own, moving in sync with one another, tongue’s battling in dominance, heavy breaths in between movements, little nibbles here and there. Inuyasha had never experienced something as glorious as this moment. After what seemed like forever, although it was probably no more than five minutes, they broke apart. Regaining their breath, they both just stared into each other's eyes. Sudden fear hit him, he had not thought through what would happen if he kissed her, would she be disgusted with him? Would she think he forced himself on her? No, she had kissed him back, not only that, but they had kissed before, back in Kaguya’s castle, but that time had been different, his life was in danger, she had had no other choice. As if reading his mind, and noticing the self doubt that currently ran through Inuyasha’s head, Kagome smiled, making Inuyasha’s heart skip several beats. “If I’d known this would happen, I would’ve tickled you a long time ago” confessed Kagome, stroking his cheek with her thumb, fingers still running through his hair. Her heart was beating a thousand miles per hour, head spinning, as she tried to process what had just happened. It had been glorious, she truly had not expected this outcome when she discovered he was ticklish. The thought made her giggle. “I- I had never been tickled before” He said, averting his eyes. It was true, no one had ever gotten close enough to him to do such a thing, he supposed his mother had done it when he was a child, but it had been so long ago he hardly remembered the feeling before now. Since then no one had bothered to touch him in such a way to discover what spots on his body made him squirm and laugh, not until Kagome. She pulled his face a little so that he made eye contact with her again, lifting her head up a little, she gave him a quick peck on the lips and smiled. It was true that Inuyasha had had a rough life, people tended to be afraid of demons and half demons alike. But he didn’t have to feel like an outcast anymore, he deserved to experience love, and all the little things that made life worthwhile, and she would make sure of it. “Well, I’m glad to be your first” As her words left her mouth Kagome realized what she had just said “That’s not what I meant I-” This time it was him that gave her a chaste kiss “I know what you meant, thank you” He was running his fingers through her hair, not wanting this moment to end. He took a deep breath, trying to engrave everything about this moment in his memory, before finally pulling away and getting up. He offered his hand to hoist her up alongside him. Standing closer than they normally did. “Just so we’re clear, I definitely won this war” he said with a cocky grin, making Kagome laugh and roll her eyes at him. “Fine, but next time I’m definitely gonna win, you’ll see” At that both their stomachs made rumbling sounds, both of them realizing they hadn’t had anything to eat since that morning before they had set out on their journey back home. “I think my mom bought extra ramen the last time you were here, how about we make some to celebrate your victory?”  Inuyasha’s eyes lit up in glee, as if he would ever reject the option of having ramen for dinner. “Let’s go then” he said, taking her hand and intertwining his fingers with hers as he guided her out of her room and down to the kitchen. Perhaps this had been the first time he had been tickled, and it would definitely not be the last one. As long as it was Kagome, and it ended the same way each time, with their lips pressed together and her hand on his hand. 

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

This Christmas - A Harry Styles Christmas Series (Part 3)

Two life long friends. Secretly in love. Home for the holidays. Will they risk everything by telling the other how they feel? Or will they spend another year loving from afar? 

Read these first    Prologue     Part 1    Part 2

**

It was now morning and you stared at the blank document in front of you. You have now written the first twelve chapters and you’ve hit a wall. A big, huge fucking wall. You had been trying to write now for well over an hour and you just couldn’t come up with anything. You made a few notes as to what you wanted to happen, but figuring out how point a leads to point c… you were blanking.

You finally decided to take a break, sneaking inside the house and making breakfast. It was still quite early, so you thought it would be nice to do the cooking while you were staying there. You searched around for ingredients and pans you would need. Of course, there was something on the very top shelf you couldn’t reach. You sighed, standing on your tippy toes, barely able to grab it. You just needed a few more inches and you would have been able to get it.

However, just before you decided to go and grab a chair, you felt a heated weight pressed against you and a tattooed hand grabbing the item for you.

“I see you haven’t grown much since we were twelve,” Harry smirked in your ear.

Goosebumps covered your skin while your face heated up, “Fuck off,” you smirked back, pushing him off of you.

You turned around seeing him standing there wearing nothing but a pair of jogging pants and some crazy bed head.

“New style you’re going for there?” You smirked, walking past him and over to the counter.

“I still haven’t heard a thank you,” he pointed out.

“Thank you for being a foot taller than me, so that you could reach the flour for me,” you joked.

“I believe you should be thinking my Mum and Dad for that,” he winked.

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes. “What are you doing up this early anyway?”

“Jet lag,” he shrugged.

“Right,” you said. “So, what part of the world did you travel from this time?”

You poured out each of the ingredients while Harry watched you.

“LA,” he said.

“Oh, that’s right, the movie,” you said, nodding. “How’d that go?”

“It was great,” he said. “I loved it.”

“Any spoilers?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I could ask you the same thing, Ms. Netflix special,” he said, leaning up against the counter. “Congrats on that by the way.”

“Thank you,” you smiled. “And I would totally give you spoilers but nothing is going on with it yet. They’re still casting some of the characters.”

“Speaking of, I’m hurt you didn’t offer me the starring role,” he joked.

“And make your head even bigger, no thank you,” you giggled.

“Well, I mean I do seem to have an awful lot in common with your main love interest,” he pointed out.

You froze, staring at the mixture in the bowl, trying to figure out what the next step would be. However, your hesitation pretty much proved he was right.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you squeaked.

“I’m just teasing you,” he smirked, knocking your shoulder with his. “But you have to admit there are a few similarities.”

“Your point?” You asked.

“No, point,” he said. “Just dropping a hint on the next time Netflix comes your way, I’m available.”

“Wait… is The Harry Styles coming to me for a job?” You gasped. “Is the bank account drying up that quickly?”

“Ha. Ha,” he rolled his eyes. “Since you’re going to make fun of me, I guess I’ll just go back to sleep and let you make pancakes all by yourself.”

“That was the plan all along,” you pointed out.

“Okay then… I’m going,” he said, staring at you.

“Okay, then go,” you smirked, shooing him out.

“Oh, come on,” he whined. “You know you want my help.”

“You can put the flour back on the top shelf,” you told him as you finished mixing the batter for the pancakes.

He rolled his eyes, grabbing the rest of the ingredients and putting them back in their proper places. As he did this, he caught himself glancing over in your direction. His gaze dropping down the length of your body and back up again. You were wearing leggings and a large jumper with the sleeves pushed up. Your hair was yet again in a messy bun with strands of hair sticking out around your face.

The real reason Harry was awake so early wasn’t purely from jet lag, but from having a dream about you. The last few weeks, you had been on his mind more than usual, but ever since seeing you again you were all he thought about. More specifically, he thought about the time he walked in on you in the bathtub the other night. He thought what it would have been like to join you to feel your skin against him.

And there he was again, thinking about you. He really needed to stop or else he was going to have another problem.

“Harry!” You snapped your fingers in front of his face.

“Oh, yeah, what? Sorry,” he said, shaking the thoughts from his head.

“You okay over there?” You asked. “You kinda spaced out for a bit.”

“Oh, yeah, great,” he said as his face blushed a shade of pink.

“Can you heat up the veggie sausage?” You asked.

“Sure, sure,” he said.

You looked over at him as he fumbled around. You held back a giggle as you watched him. While you were finishing up the pancakes, your mind started to wander into the thoughts of if mornings would always be like this if you and Harry had ever given a relationship a try. You may never know in real life, but this was your little glimpse into what could have been and you weren’t sure if it was a good thought or a bad one.

**

Later that afternoon, you finally managed to write and finish an entire chapter. You still weren’t where you wanted to be, but progress was progress at this point. It was around lunch time, so you were just finishing up getting ready to go out with Harry. You weren’t sure what was on the agenda, but you were looking forward to it. You also made a mental note that tomorrow you needed to visit your mum for a bit because it was kinda rude that you were spending time with Harry and Anne when you told your mother you were going to be working the whole time.

Which you were, most of the time, but you still needed to go see her. Anyway, while you were getting ready you received a text from your editor asking about how things were going with the book.

Hey, Y/N! Just checking in to see how things are coming along.

Hey! Things are… going. I am writing and I’ve gotten quite a bit done in the last few days. Once I’m finished with the first fifteen, I’ll send them your way, sound good?

Perfect. I can’t wait to see what you came up with!

Let’s hope you still feel that way once you’ve read them. Ha!

After a few more texts back and forth, you double checked yourself in the mirror before grabbing your coat and heading out to meet Harry. You didn’t have to walk very far because he was already out the door of the main house, carrying a few bags with him.

“Um, are we taking a road trip for lunch?” You laughed.

“Nope,” he said. “But we do need some essentials.”

“Food better be included in that because I’m starving,” you said.

“It wouldn’t be lunch without food,” he said in a duhh tone.

You rolled your eyes, “Anyway, where are we going that we need all of these essentials, whatever that means.”

“You’ll see,” he smirked. “Now, let’s get going.”

The two of you walked out of the backyard and walked towards the walking trail that connected to the end of the street. The walk was filled with silence from the two of you, but it was refreshing. Any awkwardness that started out between you was now creeping away and everything felt like no time had passed.

It was strange really, but then again it was you and Harry. About twenty minutes later, you and Harry arrived at the nearby park, where he placed the bags on a picnic table. He took out a blanket that he used to cover the table in two shorter ones to place on the benches connected to it. Next, he took out containers of food filled with fruit, sandwiches, and crisp spreading them over the table. Finally, he took out some drinks before looking over at you.

“Lunch is served,” he smirked holding his hand out.

“Wow, you really went all out, didn’t you?” You laughed sitting down on one side while he took a seat across from you.

“Eh, I figured this was better than going into town,” he said.

“Do people still come up to you here?” You asked, popping a strawberry in your mouth.

“Sometimes,” he said. “Most of the time things are pretty chill and people just want to chat me up, see how I’m doing. And then others, usually the younger generation are the ones who are a bit more… uh… “

“Annoying? Bothering you?” You added.

“Basically, yeah,” he nodded with a laugh.

“One… hearing you say the younger generation really makes me feel old,” you laughed. “And two, how do you get used to random people just coming up to you like that. Occasionally, I’ll have someone say hi to me… but that’s very rare.”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. It comes with the territory I guess.”

“I guess you have been dealing with it for over a decade,” you said. “Which is still hard to believe.”

“Tell me about it,” he said. “I still can’t believe it and I’ve lived it. There’s so much I’ve already done that sometimes it’s hard to remember that I’m only twenty six and still have a lot of life left to live.”

“You’ve definitely done and seen more than most people our age,” you nodded. “Is that why… you tend to spend more time with other uh… celebrities because they understand that part of your life?”

Harry sighed, putting his sandwich down as he thought over his words, “In the beginning yes. I had all these thoughts of who I was supposed to be, or where I was supposed to be or who I was supposed to be seen with. I kinda lost myself and what I wanted to do in it. Like I used to think I had to live in LA because that’s what everyone did when they made it, but now I can’t stay there more than a few weeks at the most.”

You nodded, taking a bite of your own sandwich in response.

“I don’t want to say that’s what happened with us,” he started. “But I can’t lie either. The truth is, I don’t know what happened, really. Things got overwhelming and I just... “

“Stopped calling?” You finished for him.

“Yeah,” he sighed.

“I’ll admit, when our friendship kinda just ended… I was pissed. I was hurt. I hated you for a good little bit. I was jealous whenever I saw you out with other friends or at all these exclusive parties. I thought I wasn’t good enough to be in your life anymore. Like I was the past and that’s where I was supposed to stay,” you whispered. “But then I realized, I was also to blame. The phone works both ways and I never tried to call or text you again. I could have tried one more time and maybe that would have been the time and we wouldn’t have lost years out on our friendship.”

“Maybe,” he shrugged. “Or maybe I would have still been an ass and everything would have stayed the same.”

“Guess we’ll never know, huh?” You asked.

“Good thing that’s in the past, right?” He asked, hopefully.

“Yeah, it is,” you smiled.

**

You and Harry spent the rest of the afternoon at the park talking about everything. It was like you two were trying to make up for all the years you hadn’t talked and in a way you two were. When you were done talking, you walked along the park, which quickly turned into a little game of running around and jumping on his back, just like old times.

By the time you both headed back home, it was getting dark. Houses covered in Christmas lights lit up the night sky and the two took a bit of a detour looking at all of the decorations. There were times you caught yourself looking at Harry more than looking at the different lights and decorations set ups. Your head and your heart were having a severe disconnect at the moment.

Your head was trying to be all logical and warning you about letting your guard down. Old feelings you had previously suppressed were slowly coming up, but your head kept trying to push them down. Your heart, however, kept fluttering whenever he would laugh or your hands would slightly brush up against one another. After a bit, you found yourself clenching your fist because the want to grab his hand and lace his fingers with yours was becoming unbearable.

If only you knew, Harry was feeling the same way. He glanced at you, smiling to himself as he watched the lights glowing over your skin. Being with you today further proved that he was in love with you. He realized then, he couldn’t hold back his feelings from you much longer and he didn’t want to, he had to get them out.

Harry stopped all of a sudden looking over at you, “Y/N…”

“Yeah, H?” You asked, turning around to look at him.

“I-” he started.

“Everything okay?” You asked.

“I-I,” he stuttered out. “I’m really glad we’re doing this…. Reconnecting… and shit.”

“I am, too,” you smiled.

Harry forced a smile, mentally kicking himself in the ass for chickening out as the two of you finished the rest of the walk back to the house.

**

Uh oh! Who do you think will be the first one to finally admit their feelings?

Find out in PART 4, posted tomorrow at Midnight CST. :)

[xxisxxisxxis]

AU: Gateway Drug | "Forty-Something" [PT. 1]

[Pt. 2 HERE]

**This was not my idea, the credit goes fully to an anon that suggested it!!

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1988

"Shh!" I try not to laugh at Izzy as he nearly trips coming around the corner, bracing himself against the wall as I'm tucked under his arm to help him keep his balance. 

"When the hell did this get here?" He asks in reference to the wall, fumbling for his key when we get to his room. 

"You gotta slow down some, Izzy." I tell him softly as he struggles to get the door open but he eventually does. 

"I know, I know, I hear Axl bitch at me about it constantly, trust me I know." He rolls his eyes, careful not to drop his cigarette as he reaches for a lighter. 

He can't steady his thumb enough to light it, though, and I sigh and snatch the lighter from him, lighting the cigarette before he can complain. 

"Thanks." He falls back on the bed, chuckling a little as I stand at the foot of the bed, my arms crossed. "Don't take this the wrong way but you look hot even when you're knocked up." 

"And you're high." I roll my eyes. "And drunk." I add. "And I'm leaving you to it because I'm tired." 

I go to leave but he sits up. 

"You can crash here." He offers and I raise my brows. 

"Izzy, if this is a part of some grand scheme to be the next in line to have sex with me--"

"--You're pregnant. I don't fuck pregnant chicks." He wrinkles his nose, laying back down. 

"Gee, thanks." I mumble, crawling onto the bed and laying on my back beside him. 

In a moment of quiet I glance over at him smiling smugly. 

"What?" He questions, taking notice. 

"You love me so much you don't even know how to handle it." I tell him. 

"Like hell I do." He denies it in a sharp scoff. 

"You don't want me to leave you."

"That doesn't mean anything." 

"We're friends." I say next. 

"No, we're not." 

"You love me." 

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." 

I keep my smile for a few more moments, before I close my eyes. 

I feel him scoot the tiniest bit closer to me before settling down, too.

"Psst," he says in a few minutes and I open an eye and look at him. 

"What is it?" 

"You wanna get married?" 

I furrow my brows and turn to face him fully. 

"How the hell do you go from denying we're even friends to wanting to marry me?" 

"I'm high and drunk, like you said." He admits and I sigh, shaking my head a little as he clears his throat. "You and Nikki are getting divorced, you and Duff aren't together, either...everybody I know is getting hitched. I'm left out." He shrugs. 

"Be thanking God." I tell him and he chuckles. 

"Oh, c'mon. It wouldn't be that bad." He argues. "It would work out because Duff's in the band so he'd get to see the baby all the time so you wouldn't have to worry much with working in visiting and stuff. My mom would fucking love you, your dad already likes me...we've already seen each other naked so we know what to expect." He adds.

I hit his arm and glare at him. 

"Well, we're together a lot so we know each other's habits and stuff...I think it could work." 

"You're high. And drunk." I reiterate, getting back on my back. "And full of shit." 

"Okay, what about that old pact that desperate lonely people make? Like, 'if we're forty something and neither of us are married, we'll get married to each other'?" 

Knowing that by the time we're in our forties we most definitely won't be single, I humor him. 

"Izzy, if we even make it to forty-something, and you're sober and have your shit together, I'll marry you." I agree. 

"Deal," he holds his hand out for me to shake, and I do.

"Now go to sleep." I urge, turning over to face away from him. 

"The cold sex shoulder is already starting to settle in and we aren't even together yet." He aggravates and I reach my hand back and swat at him, making him laugh. 

1989

"Izzy, stop touching it!" I bark, hitting at his hand.

"Viv, I'm good, that fucking pixie stick didn't do shit." He bites back, his fingers on his nose as I'm holding ice to it. 

"Jeffrey Dean Isbell." I snap. 

"Vivian Estine Kinston." He says right back. 

"Fine!" I shove at his nose and he winces. 

"Jesus fuck, Vivian, I said it doesnt hurt to touch it, not fucking reset the bone, damnit!" He gripes in pain. 

"Oh, no, that fucking pixie stick didn't do shit." I remind him. "And you deserved it, by the way." 

"Here we go," he grumbles, leaning his head back in the car. 

"No, I mean seriously, Izzy. Drunk or not you can't go one night without being a complete asshole to a woman? Especially if they're your friends' wife, you're supposed to have extra respect for them, jesus." 

"I'm not friends with that little squealy bitch." He declares. 

"You still respect his wife. You don't pull her dress up and then hit her when she raises hell at you for doing it." 

"I didn't hit her, I karate chopped her. There's a fucking difference." He informs. 

"Either way, you're a moron." 

"And you're a bitch." 

"I don't take anything seriously from someone who snorts so much coke he only has one nostril because the size of the hole burnt into his septum." I hiss. 

"That's perfectly fine because I never took anything you've said seriously just because." He doesn't miss a beat before he drops the ice for a moment to light a cigarette.

"You're such a jackass."

"Are we saying vows right now?" He asks in reference to our insults. 

"I said when you're sober and forty-something, although right now I don't see you making it to forty-something."

"We should probably go ahead and consummate it, then." 

"Oh, gee, how tempting, I don't know how I'd possibly ever resist such an idea." I sarcastically let out and roll my eyes. 

"Vegas is only a few hours away," he points out. 

"The loss of blood from your nasal cavity is definitely getting to you." I scoff. 

"Viv, what could possibly be so bad about marrying me?" He blows smoke put of his mouth. 

"Well, for one, when you want a girl to marry you, you don't ask her while you're strung out or on a coke binge or drunk. You don't ask her while blowing cigarette smoke in her face, and you certainly don't ask her after getting your face beat in for sexually harassing and physically assaulting your acquaintance's wife." 

"I was fucked up, and that doesn't make it alright or whatever but I really do feel like shit about it, you know."

"Then you need to call Vince as soon as you can and explain that to him and apologize to him and Sharise. Because it really embarrassed her and hurt her feelings." I tell him. 

"Then will you marry me?" 

"I'm not talking about this anymore, Izzy, drop it." 

"Fine." He doesn't argue...but I do see him glance at me from the corner of my eye, a smirk on his lips. 

1990

"Tommy, I can't just up and fly out to Toronto tomorrow because me and Duff are going up to visit his family for a few days with Monroe." I explain, putting mascara on. 

"Well, think about it alright?" 

"Tommy, I'm not thinking about it, there's no way for me to go to Seattle and Toronto at the same time." 

"Well--"

"--I'll see you guys in a couple weeks, anyway, so what's the deal?" 

"The 'deal' is that you act like you don't want anything to do with us now that you and Nikki aren't togther anymore." He accuses. 

"That's not true." 

"Anytime you come out to a show is if Sharise or Heather are out on the road, too, and you just hangout with them the whole time and avoid us." 

"Gee, Tommy, could that possibly be because you idiots wore me down so much over the course of six years that I just don't have the energy to even be around you too much even when you're sober?" 

There's silence on the other line. 

"Not trying to be an ass, Tommy, but it's the truth. I love you, but I can't make it to Toronto. I'm sorry." 

More silence. 

I just sigh and hang up, finishing my makeup before I hear a horn honking out front.

"Monroe," I peek my head into his nursery, seeing his butt up in the air, thumb in mouth, tiny snores coming from him. 

I gently shake him awake, picking him up when all else fails, heading to the car. 

As soon as I get out there, I hand Monroe to Izzy, who's behind the wheel, as I get Monroe's carseat in his car. 

Once the toddler is locked in, I get in the passenger side and let out a breath. 

"You alright?" He asks me. 

"Yeah, just...a lot...I told Tommy I didn't want to go see them because I don't have the energy to be around them now that they're sober due to how they acted for so long when Nikki and I were together." 

"So...you don't want to be around them, but you'll come be around all of us." He points out. 

"I'd rather be in a room full of messed up Guns N' Roses than sober Mötley Crüe." 

"Ouch." He mumbles. 

"So, where we going?" I ask him. 

"The courthouse." He explains. 

"For what?" 

"To get married." He answers casually. 

"Ha, ha, funny...seriously where are we going?" 

"To the courthouse to get married." He says, again. 

"Izzy. That's not funny." I state. 

"I'm glad it isn't because I'm being serious, Viv." 

"Izzy, no you're not." 

"Yeah, I am."

"Stop the car." I order and he sighs, slowing down. 

"Damnit, Viv." He says as I open the door and get out, feeling too trapped in the car. "Now, you know I've been asking you for the past two years, Viv, I'm tired of hearing, 'no'. You think I'm kidding when I ask you but I'm being serious." 

"You can't be serious, Izzy, because it literally came out of nowhere the first time you even suggested it! 'Everybody else is doing it and I'm left out' is a shitty reason to want to marry someone--and you're not even four months sober! The last time a high idiot told me he wanted to marry me, I said, 'yes,' and I was in hell for it for years! So, yes, Izzy, I apologize if I wasn't taking you seriously all the times you've asked me about it because the idea in itself is just so freaking ridiculously stupid, I thought surely you'd have more sense than to think we could!" 

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Good!"

"Good! We aren't even friends anyway so screw you!" He throws at me. 

"wE aReN't EvEn FrIeNdS aNyWaY sO sCrEw YoU." I mimic his voice, walking around to get Monroe, who's still sleeping, out of the back. 

"Viv, get back in the car." 

"No."

"Vivian, get back in the damn car." 

"No!" 

"Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn?!" 

"The same reason you have to be so full of shit!" 

1991

"Monroe don't run!" I chase after the three year old backstage, grabbing his sides before he can get away from me. 

"Where's daddy?" He asks me with a chuckle, fingers in his mouth, his eyes switching over people passing by. 

"I don't know, baby, but we can go find him." I suggest. 

"Yeah!" He excitedly exclaims. 

"Yeah!" I reply, laughing…

"I said 'this' much cranberry and 'this' much Vodka, man!" I hear Duff complain, followed by the splattering of liquid hitting the floor. 

I turn the corner to see Duff face to face with their manager.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy!" Monroe kicks his legs, wrestling to get down. 

"Monroe—"

Duff looks at us, this look coming to his face. 

"H-Hey, man." He walks over to us, smiling at me. "When'd you get here?" He asks me, going to kiss my check but I lean back, wincing. 

"You smell like b-o-o-z-e, Duff." I scold him as he takes our son from me. 

"Yeah, don't worry about it." He assures me easy-goingly as Monroe hugs him tightly, grinning and laughing. 

His girlfriend...more so drug buddy, Linda, walks by and he glances at her. 

"Babe, you coming?" She asks him, raising her brows. 

He looks at Monroe, then me, then her again, before frowning slightly. 

"Go, we'll be okay for a few minutes." I insist. 

"Are you sure?" He questions.

"Duff, we just got here. You don't have to spend every second with us right away. You've got stuff to do." 

He sighs, looking at me, then Monroe again. 

"C'mon, baby, daddy's gotta get back to work." I tell Monroe and he reaches for me again. 

I take him and Duff kisses his head, and mine. 

"See ya before the show." He tells us, waving bye to Monroe. "See ya in just a few minutes, Roe." He assures him as Monroe waves back. 

I sigh, Monroe looking around again. 

"When's daddy coming back?" He asks me. 

"In just a few minutes." I assure him.

He's soon looking over my shoulder, his eyes wide and bright, a wide smile on his face as he brings his finger to his lips and goes "shh." 

Before I can turn to see who he's looking at, a sharp pinch on my ass has me snapping around, ready to throw a punch, only to be met with Izzy. 

He and Monroe laugh together at my expense and I hit Izzy in the arm. 

"Tailhole." I hiss out, watching my language and he chuckles some more. 

He looks so much healthier than he used to. 

He used to be scraggly and high looking all the time...now he's filled out a little more and his skins glowing. 

Of course that also probably has to do with him finding a girl he's full blown in love with.

"Duff leave you out here?" He asks and I shrug. 

"We just got here, he's with Linda." 

Izzy wrinkles his nose the slightest. 

"Duff's to Linda like Nikki was to Vanity." He mumbles. 

"Don't I know it." I state, knowing a crackhead girlfriend/boyfriend when I see one now that I've had experience with Nikki and Vanity, and Tansy and Sparkie. "Where is she at?" I ask once we get to his dressing room and see a picture of the Aneka girl he'd been telling me about in bits and pieces the past couple months. 

"Visiting her family." He tells me as there's a small knock at the door. 

"Yeah?!" Izzy calls and the door opens. 

"There he is!" Tansy says excitedly, Monroe laughing and showing a mouthful of teeth, getting down from me and running to her. 

"Tans!" He replies to her, just as happy to see her. 

"Oh, my goodness, you have gotten so tall since I last saw you." She tells him and he puts his bicep up and she grins, squeezing him to her. "You wanna go see uncle Axl?" 

"Yes!" 

"Is that okay? Just for a little bit." Tansy asks me and I nod.

"Yeah, that's fine." I say and she picks him up. 

"Alright, c'mon." She giggles and he waves at me. 

"See you in just a little bit." I tell him, waving. 

When she shuts the door, I fall back on the couch and groan, making Izzy raise his brows. "When we first got here, all I could hear was, 'daddy, daddy, daddy!'" I refer to Monroe and Izzy takes the cheap shot. 

"Sounds like you on a good night." He says before I can finish and I glare at him, making him laugh. 

"Sorry." He shrugs. 

"Anyway...we finally get here and all he sees is his dad throw a fit because he didn't have the perfectly formulated ratio of Vodka and cranberry juice." I state and he lets out a soft breath. "And then Nikki's drinking again, and I know he's drinking again because he calls me in the middle of the night, drunk, to complain about his wife--which I told him not to marry her because he barely had time to really get to know her but nope. Nobody ever listens to Viv. And Tansy said that tweedle-Duff and tweedle-Slash wake up and start their morning with alcohol, which is comforting...I've been talking to Steven's mom a lot and she said he's been going down hill again after he tried to sober up some…"

"Yeah, I heard." He rubs the back of his neck. 

"Axl's keeping Tansy from seeing anybody, he won't even let her call to check up on Steven right now. He thinks it'll trigger her to go off the deep end and get back on smack." I add. "Everything is just a shitshow at this point." 

"Yeah…" he mumbles, before a long pause sits between us, and he finally clears his throat and sighs. "Um, I need to tell you something that I haven't told any of the guys yet, and I don't know how you'll feel but just know I've thought about it a lot and think I should do it." 

"Izzy, I don't care if you're gay." I tell him and he sighs, giving a little smile…

"This is pretty serious." He says and I furrow my brows a little. "I want outta the band, Viv." 

I feel a punch in my stomach. 

First Steven, now Izzy...this is not how this was supposed to go…

"W-What?" 

"Izzy, c'mon!" Their manager calls. "You're on soon!" 

"We'll talk about it later, alright?" He says and I'm at a loss for words.

"Izzy," 

"It'll be alright, we'll talk about it." He assures me before stepping out.

Later that night, after Axl finally got on stage and the show was barely completed, Izzy and I split a room, Monroe and I taking a bed while Izzy takes the other. 

Once Monroe is tucked into bed after passing out on the way to the hotel, I sit and wait for Izzy to get out of the shower and end up dozing next to Monroe.

I slowly blink awake when I feel fingertips tapping at my forehead, and Izzy's crouched down by the bed beside me...a little smile on his lips. 

"Hey," he chuckles. 

"Hey." I say back, blinking once more…

"It's not about the music anymore, Viv. The egos and drugs and booze and pussy--it's all coming first. I'm tired of having a show at 8:00pm and not getting onstage 'til 11:45pm, and only staying on stage until 12:30am before Axl gets breathed on the wrong way and storms off." He says softly not to wake Monroe up. "And it didn't help when my royalties were in talks of getting cut...and then when Ax is constantly coming up with lawsuits or contracts or NDA's, it's bullshit. It started out as five of us against them. Now Steven's gone, Axl's God and Slash, Matt and Duff are killing themselves. I just want out." 

"You're breaking my heart, Izzy, you know that?"  I sniffle tiredly, trying not to cry. 

"I promise I'll be okay. This isn't gonna spring me into a relapse or anything." He assures me.

"I'm sorry for all of this happening." I admit and he shakes his head. 

"Nah...it doesn't have anything to do with you. Me and the guys just have our own things going and it's just time for me to go my own way." 

I just sniffle again, wiping a stray tear, and nod. 

"And we'll still stay in touch and stuff." He adds. "You'll still see me around."

"Promise?" I ask. 

"How else are we gonna keep tabs on each other to see if we gotta go through with our plan at forty-something." He shrugs. 

"Oh, please, you'll still be with Aneka and won't even be bothered with me." I tell him and he shakes his head a little. 

"Viv, I harassed you for nearly three years to marry me--even thought I didn't even fucking like the idea of marriage. If I went through that much trouble, I'm not gonna up and leave and only talk to you every blue moon." 

I smile a little, rubbing my lips together before saying, "does this mean you're finally acknowledging that we are, indeed, friends?"

He rolls his eyes and stands back up. 

"I didn't say that." He tells me and I chuckle. "G'night, Viv." 

"Goodnight." 

[hopecountysfavhoe]

‘Cold’ Chapter Sixteen Pt.2

Rating 18+

Word count: 3,379

It was a quiet day for Jacob. He was back at the Veterans Centre after taking a 'hunting trip' to Holland Valley. He knew that he wasn't really supposed to butt in on what was happening over in John's region but he had to do something. He'd gotten word that the Deputy was spotted in Holland Valley in a truck with Kim Rye and it was just too perfect.

So he told his people he was going on a quick hunting trip and took a Bliss bullet with him. He had followed the Deputy's truck to Nick and Kim Rye's house, waiting patiently for her to leave like he knew she would. If he knew anything about the Deputy it was that she couldn't sit in one place for too long.

When she went to meet up with Grace Armstrong he kept his distance. He knew Grace was a good sniper but he was better at hiding. It was a pretty easy shot, the Deputy's neck was exposed and she was walking pretty slowly. Jacob smirked at her comfort. She had gotten relaxed, too relaxed. He had to send her a message and a Bliss bullet was the perfect one.

When he hit her, Jacob watched through his scope as the Deputy fell to the ground. He was careful to hide his scope and gun barrel when Grace scanned the area. He watched Grace as she practically carried the Deputy to her truck. It was amusing to say the least, watching the Deputy be so fragile with the people that 'cared' about her.

He still wasn't convinced that the people of Hope County cared about the Deputy the way she'd convinced herself they did. She was a weapon to them, a tool they used to help better the Resistance. But as soon as she breaks beyond fixing they'll toss her aside and find someone new, and that's when Eden's Gate will be there to pick her up.

Jacob didn't know why he cared, it wasn't like the Deputy had ever treated him with kindness. Except in that cabin... but that must have been her plan, to feed him lies and tend his wounds, make him feel bad for her and her past. God, what was wrong with him? The Deputy wasn't capable of something that cruel, that manipulative...was she?

Jacob doubted it. He'd watched her in the trials and on his cameras, if she ever felt like being cruel she would just outright be cruel. She would kill his hunters and Judges but she was straightforward about it, she didn't play mind games. It was annoying to spend so much time obsessing over the Deputy's behaviour but Jacob couldn't stop, it was too intriguing.

Everyone he'd encountered in Hope County was fighting for something or someone, but the Deputy had no connection to this place. She didn't grow up here, she didn't have family or a house that she had to protect, she just fought them because she was asked to. It was a respectable way of acting, if only she wasn't on the opposite side. Jacob could only imagine what he could get done if he had the Deputy fighting for him. She'd be unstoppable, probably to a fault, to her death.

These were all things he mulled over as he backed into the woods, making his escape back to his own region. He didn't tell John about him being there, he didn't need the lecture about John being able to govern his own region without interference again. So he just found his truck again and got back the the Whitetail Mountains as quick as possible.

Jacob wanted to feel pleased with himself. He managed to get a swipe at the 'untouchable' Deputy, that was a major achievement. But still, his stomach churned at the thought of the Deputy being in the hands of those people. He knew Grace was smart enough to drive around the valley to get any potential followers off her trail so that meant the Deputy was probably slumped over in the back seat of some pickup truck, unable to react to anything or protect herself. It should have brought him pleasure, the thought of the Deputy incapacitated by his own hands, but instead it brought him worry. It was worry he didn't want so he tried to shrug it off and focus on his men's training.

Everything was quiet, the men were training, Jacob had just finished overviewing another trial, it was an average day. But while Jacob was sitting at his desk in his upstairs office he heard chaos erupt outside. His guards started yelling about an attack, causing Jacob to jump to his feet. He went to his window and looked down on the front yard. Guards and other trainees were running around in panic, their guns pointed all over the place.

Jacob rushed downstairs and realized what brought the chaos on. The guard on his front step had an arrow in his neck and was dead. Jacob barked and order to find whoever did this, even though he had a pretty good idea. If it was an arrow it must have been that Jess Black kid, she had a lot of gall antagonizing Jacob in his own home. Around the arrow was a paper note, now splattered with blood. Jacob untied the note from the arrow and quickly unfolded it to read it.

We need to talk. Now.

Meet me at the Flanagan cabin tomorrow at noon, alone. No guns, no weapons, just a talk.

-You know who

Jacob cursed and ordered his men to tighten the perimeter, the Deputy just taunted him and he didn't like it.

The Deputy drove down a dirt road and parked next to a tall tree. She was alone and was about to meet Jacob Seed for a talk. She just hoped he would show up and not blow her off. The Deputy knew that shooting one of his guards with an arrow that had a note on it telling him to go meet her in the woods was probably the least smart thing she could do but she was fuming the day before.

Before she could head up to the cabin, the Deputy remembered the rules she made and set her weapons in the passenger seat of her truck. She knew not to go into the woods completely unarmed though so she kept her knife and a pistol tucked into her waist band behind her back. She was a little nervous, the last time she was alone with Jacob was in that room after he forced her into another trial. Even so, she was filled with anger towards him so that helped a little bit.

After putting away her guns the Deputy started up the hill to the Flanagan cabin, praying that Jacob actually listened to the 'alone' part of her note. When she made it up the impossibly steep hill followed with a thirty minute hike through the forest she came upon a shocking discovery. The Flanagan cabin had been burnt down.

It wasn't too recent, the fire was probably a couple weeks before then. The Deputy didn't know who would burn it down or why but at least it was uninhabited.

She walked over to the driveway and waited, she checked her watch for the time. It was 11:57, Jacob should be there soon. The Deputy was uncomfortable to say the very least. In a show of good faith to her 'no weapons' rule she had also elected to leave her bulletproof vest in the truck. So now she only had a pistol and a hunting knife, no vest, no rifle, and she wasn't even fully convinced Jacob would show up alone, or even show up for that matter.

She decided to give it until 12 o'clock precisely for Jacob to show up, if he wasn't there by then she was going to get the hell out of there before she got trapped and kidnapped or something. She folded her arms over her chest, trying not to fidget incase Jacob was watching her.

While three minutes clicked by as slow as they possibly could, the Deputy rethought her whole plan. She didn't think Jacob would actually show up, she was also worried he would but that he would bring his whole damn army with him. Part of her wondered if this was his plan, doing something to provoke her then make her make him agree to a weapons free meeting so that he could take her without too much of a fight. It wasn't as unlikely as she hoped it would sound.

She looked at her watch and saw that it was 12:00. She scanned the woods for Jacob, her heart pounding in her ears while she tried to remain calm. She swore she saw something move in the tree line and stared, waiting to see if it was her imagination or if it was actually something. She watched intently but didn't see anything move. The Deputy kept scanning the tree line when she saw it. Jacob Seed came waltzing out of the trees, holding the still bloody arrow in his hands.

He looked up at the impatient Deputy with her arms crossed. He let out a throaty chuckle. "Didn't think I'd make it?" He asked nonchalantly and continued to study the arrow in his hands.

"What makes you think that?" The Deputy fired back, but she knew she radiated a certain worried energy.

Jacob shrugged and looked up at her. He held the arrow up as if he needed to see it better in the sun. "So...you think shooting my guard is the best you can do?" Jacob slowly slinked towards her as if they weren't in a neutral area, as if she was tied down to his chair and waiting for him to pull out that music box.

"I do think it was one of my better revenge plans." The Deputy hissed. "Did you follow the rules? No weapons?" The Deputy asked and glanced down at his hip holster for his knife.

Jacob stopped approaching her when he was about 6-7 feet away from her. She could read his body language and tell that he was furious, even if he did do a good job at hiding it. "I was going to but you can never be too careful, can you, Deputy?" He said the word 'Deputy' as if it were poison. He motioned with the tip of the arrow to her belt holster for the Deputy's own hunting knife.

"So, are we alone?" The Deputy asked, trying to see if Jacob was too obviously lying.

"You're instructions were clear, alone. Did you follow the rules as well?" Jacob asked and the Deputy pursed her lips together.

Jacob's crystal blue eyes bored into the Deputy's as she reached down for her radio. She unhooked it from her belt and raised it to her mouth. "Stand down guys, it's ok." She said into the radio and waited for a response.

The radio was silent until it crackled to life. "Are you serious, Dep?" Grace's voice asked through the radio.

"Yes I am, Jacob and I are talking."

"Ok, but I'll be watching." Grace's tone sounded more like a threat than a reassurance. The Deputy hooked her radio back onto her belt while Jacob fought back a grin.

"The rule maker doesn't even follow her own rules, impressive." Jacob gloated and the Deputy refolded her arms.

"Now tell your guys to stand down, this talk is supposed to be peaceful." The Deputy spat and Jacob made a deep humming noise.

"Stand down men, me and the Deputy are having a talk." He said into his own radio and waited for an answer.

"Roger that, sir." An obedient voice returned on the radio. Jacob slid his radio back into his pocket and faced the Deputy again.

The tension in the air was so thick it could stop a bullet. The Deputy wanted to go first. "Ok, now that we're as good as alone, you and I need to chat."

"I'm waiting, Deputy, I don't have all day." Jacob informed her with a hint of impatience in his voice.

"You and I have been playing a serious game of cat and mouse since I've gotten here. You hit me, I hit you back, I hit you, you hit me back, it's just how it's always been. But look around you Jacob, neither of us are winning. I know you see it too. The Project and the Resistance are at each other's throats but both of us are going down, neither side is getting what they want.

"The land is suffering and the people are suffering, on both sides. How many people do you lose in a day? In a week? It's bloodshed, and I know you've seen bloodshed before. You've been to war, you know how dirty it can get, well we're there. Both sides of this war want nothing more than to piss off the other side and we're using people's lives to do that. This won't end in one side coming out on top of the other, this will end with this whole county burning while we squabble over the ashes." The Deputy glanced away from Jacob, biting her cheek.

"As much as I hate you for all that you've done, I don't think this fighting can continue." She finished. Every one of the Deputy's points was a fair and rational one, which infuriated Jacob because he couldn't debate them.

"What are you suggesting?" Jacob inquired but by the look on the Deputy's face he already knew what's she was going to say.

"I think that if we made a temporary peace treaty then it's possible we could work something out to where both sides can stop this incessant fighting." The words were like battery acid on the Deputy's tongue. She hated the idea of trying to work with Jacob on anything but right now she had to try and swallow her pride for the good of Hope County.

"A peace treaty? This isn't like you, Deputy. I thought that tattoo of yours said Wrath." Jacob taunted and the Deputy bit her tongue.

She took a breath and locked her jaw. "I'm not lying Jacob. This is the only way I can see this ending without this County getting destroyed."

"What if I say no?" Jacob questioned, tilting his head as if he were looking at a peculiar science experiment.

"Then I'll have no choice but to fight back, but if you say yes then I think this can work." The Deputy's voice wasn't masking any of her anger as she spoke but she was sincere, she really did want to see this fighting stop.

"Saying yes isn't my expertise." Jacob responded, hoping to keep this conversation adversarial.

"You can talk to your brothers. I can't get near them. If I step on a branch wrong in John's region he shoots me in the back and forces me to confess shit, Joseph won't listen to me because he's convinced I'm Hell incarnate, Faith would never even consider it if it came from me. So that leaves you. Believe me, if I thought I could go to any other sibling I would but I didn't, I came to talk to you." The Deputy made a fair point. Jacob knew that if she tried to walk in anywhere and talk peace then his siblings wouldn't blink before doing what they always do.

Joseph might listen but he was near impossible to get alone. Jacob knew why she came to him, that part he didn't need help with. Their relationship was more cat-and-mouse. Both of their moves against each other were calculated and not impulsive, they talked far more than any of his other siblings did with the Deputy, even if you ignore the time they spent in the cabin together.

Jacob studied her in silence for a minute, probably to see if she was truly being sincere. It was strange to see her in this light in person. Every time he's seen her outside of the Veterans Centre it's been through the cameras, but in real life you could really see the wear the fighting has had on her. Her gashed cheek was still healing, the weight she'd lost was evident in her face and neck only, since she kept the rest of herself covered. He could see the dark bags hanging under her eyes, weighing her whole face down with them.

Jacob remembered seeing her when she first entered the church last year. Her face was serious and stoic, her posture was stiff and yet her eyes told a different story. Even in the dark her eyes showed you right into her soul. When she hesitated before putting the cuffs on Joseph, Jacob just watched her. They were full of life even if they were serious, and her face was full and healthy, she looked like a real person and Jacob had to admit that she was an attractive person. John of course made a comment about her physical attractiveness later that made Jacob roll his eyes but he couldn't exactly deny it.

The Deputy standing in front of him now was not that first Deputy. This one was tired and in pain, and in that moment Jacob realized it. She was broken already. He had broken her because otherwise she would be cursing him out and spitting at his face. Her gaze was angry and full of fire but that fire was fading. He had watched her walk up through binoculars and noticed how bad her limp was.

Good God, she was falling apart right under his nose.

"So? Will you agree to talk to your brothers?" The Deputy was obviously uncomfortable with Jacob's staring.

Jacob realized he used his time to think about the Deputy instead of a peace treaty. "I will talk to Joseph, only if you get the Whitetails to agree to a temporary peace treaty as well." Jacob bargained and the Deputy fought to keep her relief off her face.

"I'll do that." The Deputy nodded. Jacob seemed satisfied with their discussion and turned to walk back into the woods.

"Hey Jacob?" The Deputy got his attention again. "This doesn't mean we're on the same side, this just means we aren't fighting each other right now." She clarified and Jacob gave her a nod.

"Understood." He was about to turn again and walk away when he heard the Deputy's radio crackle.

"Watch ou-" was all that Grace Armstrong could get out before the Deputy's chest heaved like she'd been punched. Jacob couldn't process what happened until he saw a growing spot of red on the Deputy's chest.

Her face was just as shocked as Jacob's was. She brought a hand up to feel her chest, pulling away a hand drenched in red blood. She fell to her knees, her hand still shaking in front of her. It was like all sound had shut off in Jacob's ears, he couldn't hear a thing except for the Deputy's shuddering gasp of pain. She'd been shot by a sniper.

His feet brought him to her side as she fell back into the dirt road. He grabbed a handkerchief out of his pocket and jammed it in her bullet hole, forcing a whine of pain from the Deputy. He placed a hand over her bullet hole and grabbed his radio. "Who the fuck fired that shot?" He shouted into his radio, his head looking around furiously as he tried to stop the bleeding.

"I said who the fuck fired that shot?" He demanded once more.

"It wasn't us sir! None of us have our safety off!" A panicked voice came across the radio.

"Then find the person that did! Now!" He dropped his radio and brought his other hand back to the Deputy's chest.

Blood was pouring out between his fingers while he cursed. "Don't you dare die right now Deputy. Not now, not here." Jacob threatened while pressing his weight into her chest.

"Get away from her now, Jacob!" A familiar voice shouted from behind him. Jess Black had her bow drawn and aimed right for his head.

[shadow-assassin-blix]

It Belongs in a Museum

CHAPTER 5

A/N: So hints at some sexy times, but nothing descriptive. I may or may not have added another universe to this world. I have a few more parts left for this. The dress I was thinking of is the 12th one found here. 

Everything Tag: @mikeisthricedeceased 

Pedro Pascal tag: @m-123 @fioccodineveautunnale @artsymaddie @blo0dangel @mcrmarvelloki​

As the weeks passed on, they continued to grow closer together. Soon enough, their research was done, and it was time to move onto the next location: Venezuela.  Vixen had packed up her stuff and had her stuff in the Jeep, waiting with Veracruz as the others finished up. Professor Jones had already paid him for his work.

“So, what are you going to do next?” Vixen asked as she leaned against a tree.

“Have a couple jobs lined up. You have another 9 months before graduating, yeah?” He asked her, looking over at her.

She nodded, and asked teasingly, “Do you want me to send you an invitation?”

He scoffed, shaking his head, “No. Just wondering when I can come steal you away.”

She smiled softly at that, looking down at the ground.

He tilted her chin back up and said, “Come back to our bar once you’ve graduated. I’ll be there, waiting. Then I’ll whisk you away, my darling.”

“Are you actually going to be there? Cause if I make the trip all the way back here, just for you to have ghost me, I will find you and kill you,” She warned him, half joking, half serious.

He chuckled at that, “I would pay to see that my dear.”

He pressed a kiss to her lips in farewell, before rejoining his men and departing minutes later.

She joined her group as they finished loading up the jeep. The four of them spoke of their small discoveries and was excited for the next location.

The next 9 months went by in a blur and soon enough they were wrapping up their internships. At the end of the year, they were heading back to the university for graduation.

A good week after graduation, found Vixen back in Colombia, at the cheap bar where she first met Veracruz.

She looked around, not seeing him at first. She took a spot at the bar and ordered the same drink she did last time.

She quietly sipped at her drink, looking through the texts with Veracruz. Despite being separated, they texted and called each other often. Every now and again, they would send each other saucy pictures or find a quiet place to call one another and have salacious conversations.

She was smirking at some of their conversations, when she felt a hand resting on her back. She turned to yell at whoever but was pleasantly surprised when she saw a familiar face.

“Hello Comandante. What brings you to these parts?” She asked him teasingly.

“Hmm. Oh, you know simply meeting a beautiful woman. Wicked smart. Attracts trouble wherever she goes. Sound familiar?” He asked jokingly.

She smiled brightly at him, leaning up to kiss him. He kissed her back, cupping her face with one hand.

“Let’s go,” He whispered against her lips.

He took her hand, tossing some pesos down to pay for her drink, before leading her outside to his truck. The two of them got in, and he drove off, far away from the city. The road he turned down on eventually, was mostly dirt and one way.

The truck eventually pulled up to a large home, that was hidden behind trees and shrubs.

“This is your home?” She questioned him as he parked in front of it.

He simply shrugged, “One of them, yes.”

She stared at him suspiciously, looking between him and the house.

“How rich are you?” She asked him incredulous.  

“I’ll never tell, lovely. Now, shall we go inside, or do you want to spend our first night together in 9 months in my car?” He questioned his eyes roving over her form.

She hopped out of the truck, walking toward the front door. He joined her a moment later, unlocking the door, and welcoming her inside. She had sent her bags ahead to him, and she spotted them off to the side.

He led her upstairs, to his bedroom, that was colored in dark greys and blues. The two of them had long since abandoned their shoes, as she made her way to the bed. She plopped down on it, sitting with her hands folded in her lap and her ankles crossed.

He smirked as he gazed at her. He slowly stalked toward her, a predatory gaze in his eyes.

He stood before her and told her to strip. She stood back up, noting how there was maybe an inch of space between them.

She stripped slowly without breaking eye contact. Once she was naked, he nodded his head toward the bed, and she crawled backwards onto it.

He slowly removed his clothes, walking around the bed to the side. He sat down, his hands running up and down her chest.

She watched his arm move for a moment, before grabbing ahold of his hand, and pressing a kiss to the back of it as she brought it closer to her face. She brushed her cheek against his hand, enjoying the roughness against her skin.

He watched her, somewhat softly, before his hand moved past her face into her hair. As it buried itself into her hair, his hand firmly grasped a chunk and gave a short tug on it.

She gasped not necessarily out of pain but more out of surprise, and he took full advantage of that as his lips captured hers into deep kiss.

His lips were devouring her own as the kiss grew more intense. He broke away suddenly, attacking her neck with harsh bites that caused breathy moans.

His biting kisses worked further down to her chest, paying close attention to her breasts when he got there.

“I hope you had no plans for tomorrow, because you are not leaving this bed for quite some time,” He teased as he moved further down.

“Hm. Was planning to go get a new boyfriend but I guess you’ll do,” She threw back at him.

“Oh? Shall I remind you what a good boyfriend I can be?” He glared up at her playfully.

“I feel like you should, especially since you couldn’t be bothered to come to my graduation,” She said with only slight annoyance.

He rolled his eyes and simply returned his attention to the task at hand. He moved himself down to between her legs muttering vaguely in Spanish.

Before Vixen could call him out on his muttering, she gasped as she felt a finger tease her clit before it slipped inside her.

True to his word, he made sure she couldn’t leave the bed for hours at a time. When they finally emerged from his bedroom, it was around 1pm the next day.

It took a good hour for her legs to function properly, while he gave her a tour of his home.

“I have an event tomorrow night. Black tie affair. I want you to come with me,” Veracruz informed her.

“Oh? Like a date?” She further teased him.

One thing she learned early on with Veracruz, words like ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ and ‘dating’ did not mean much to him. He saw it as simply ‘being with his woman.’

He rolled his eyes, pulling her into his arms.

“Yes. Like a date if you must label it. I just want to show off my beautiful and brilliant woman to my high society friends. Plus, if I have to endure one more party alone, I will murder them,” He said with a groan.

She giggled at that, “What am I supposed to wear? I don’t really own anything fancy.”

“Oh, but you do… if you look in our closet, I’m sure you’ll find something suitable,” He told her with a smirk.

They spent the rest of the day, simply enjoying one another’s presence and slept soundly that night.

When she woke up, Veracruz was already up. She tossed on a robe and wandered toward his office, figuring that’s where he would be. He was on the phone talking rapidly in Spanish. She admired him as he spoke.

He wasn’t dressed completely, simply wearing a pair of sweats. His hair wasn’t jelled yet, and she could see small curls forming as the humidity began to rise.

He noticed her standing there after a moment and raised an eyebrow.

She strolled forward, leaning over his desk to kiss his cheek. He smirked at her, shaking his head.

He hung up a minute later, and questioned, “May I ask why you were watching me?”

“Hm. Not watching. Admiring. Didn’t realize you have curls,” She stated as she looked at him.

“Heh. Yes, my mother was thrilled that I had curls. She took many photos of me,” He said twinging his nose in annoyance.

“Aww. I bet you were super cute. It’s almost unfair though. How handsome you are. I get the feeling I’m going to have scare off many a woman tonight,” Vixen said with a smile.

He shook his head and walked around his desk.

“Let’s go shower, and then have breakfast,” He proposed as he wrapped an arm around her.

They walked back upstairs to his room and showered together. They didn’t do anything to frisky other than a thorough make out session. When they had finished, and stepped out, Veracruz began his morning routine. She watched him for a moment before doing her own things such as brushing her teeth and fixing her hair.

The two of them threw on some light clothing and made their way downstairs to the kitchen. She watched him make French toast and eggs. He filled two cups with coffee, setting creamer and sugar down close to her.

She fixed her coffee how she wanted it and waited for him to finish up. He tossed some strawberries on top, dusting powdered sugar as well.

He placed a plate in front of her, with a fork and sat down across from her. The two of them dug into their meals.

She was pleasantly surprised by how amazing it tasted and complimented him, “This taste wonderful. Do you… do you cook often?”

“Yeah. My mother made sure I knew how. I was her only child, and she had declared that I would learn one way or another. Though, she still thinks I under season meals,” He commented with a roll of his eyes.

Vixen chuckled at that, “Sounds like you and your mother are pretty close?”

“Hm. Not as close as we once were. Work has definitely been a large contributor to that,” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“I have 2 older siblings. My parents considered them to be the pride and joy of the family since one is a doctor and the other a lawyer. They see me as being an archaeologist as being a weaker degree. One that is not worthy of mention. So, I don’t spend much time with them” Vixen admitted as she stabbed at her eggs randomly.

“You get to make fantastic discoveries and uncover new societies and they are not proud of that?” He questioned in disbelief.

She shrugged halfheartedly not really knowing what to say. She finished up her breakfast in silence.

Veracruz stared at her for a moment before finishing as well.

She spent the next few hours exploring the closet and found a dress that she felt would drive Veracruz wild. She shaved and moisturized her skin and pulled her hair into an updo. She kept her makeup minimum, a pink gloss, and eyeliner to make her eyes standout.

When it got closer time to leave, she put on the dress and matching shoes. She stepped out when she heard Veracruz enter the room.

She stared at him in surprised as she took in the tuxedo he wore. He looked damn good.

Veracruz’s eyes drank in her form as smirk grew on his face.

“You look good enough to eat darling. Though… I feel like you are missing something,” Veracruz grinned as he presented a velvet box that he was holding behind his back.

He handed it to her, and she opened it to reveal a delicate necklace that had a square cut emerald. She smiled softly at it. She gently picked it up and he took it from her and helped her put it on. He kissed the back of her neck once it was secured.

She turned around, grabbing her clutch, and walking with him downstairs. He led her to a very nice sportscar, a Lamborghini as she soon discovered.

The drive was to rather large estate, that had valet and many other nice fancy cars pulling in. They gave the keys to the valet and strode inside, arms looped around one another.

The party was in full swing, and he was greeted several times when he first entered. There were several other high-ranking officers and political figures as she found out. She was introduced to several before eventually being left with several wives.

She made polite chatter with them, somewhat annoyed he abandoned her with women who were a little snobbish.

After an hour of plastering a fake smile on her face, she finally spotted Veracruz again and excused herself. She made her way over to him, her smile still on her face.

She lightly cleared her throat to interrupt the conversation he was having.

“Ahem. My apologies but someone owes me a dance,” She interrupted grasping his arm.

“Oh? Please, I wouldn’t want him to upset his lovely wife,” The man said excusing himself.

She tugged Veracruz to the dancefloor, taking position to slow dance. Her smile dropped quickly as she looked at him.

“You said you wanted me to distract people conversing with you. Not that you were going to abandon me with hoity toity women, who think that because they have money, they can treat people like they are less than,” She complained.

He cleared his throat to stop the laugh that tried to escape him.

“It’s not funny. I will strangle someone if you leave me with them again,” She warned him, unamused.

“I’m sorry. I had to schmooze with my bosses for a time. That is done, and now you can just stay by my side all evening,” He placated kissing her once.

“You owe me so much more than just that pathetic kiss,” She grumbled.

“Oh, my sweet. I will make it up to you this evening I promise,” He promised her, in a mocking tone.

She glared at him and rolled her eyes.

“There is actually someone I want you to meet, and they just walked in,” He informed her pulling her off the dance floor.

He led her over to a handsome, brown-haired gentleman that was in his 30s, with a woman who had curly dark hair and extremely beautiful.

“Hello, Rick, how are you doing this evening? And Evie, looking beautiful as ever,” Veracruz greeted them with a charming smile.

Evie smiled somewhat shyly at the compliment and Rick held his hand out to shake Veracruz’s.

“Doing great, how’s the freelance been going for you?” Rick asked with a smirk.

“Business is booming. This is my girlfriend,” He introduced her. “She goes by Vixen, however. She just graduated with her masters in archaeology.”

Evie gasped excitedly, “What was your area of focus for your final year?”

“Ancient Aztec and Mayan cultures. That’s actually how I met Veracruz, we wound up having to hire him and his team as protection from mercenaries,” Vixen explained, excitement growing within her as well.

“We are actually in a few weeks about to return Egypt, and have a few digs lined up. Would you like to join us? I could always use another set of eyes and hands when uncovering the past,” Evie offered, bouncing slightly.

“I would love to join you! I wanted to do my internship in Egypt to be honest, but the professor filled those spots within 5 minutes of opening it. I was a minute too late,” She admitted biting her lip.

“We will send Felix all the info you’ll need, and will see you in a couple of weeks,” Rick interjected knowing that they were both 2 seconds away from going on long tangents about ancient history.

Rick didn’t want to interrupt but he could see the President of Colombia waving them over and looking somewhat impatient. He could see in Vixen’s eyes, a similar look he often found in Evie’s eyes, the pure joy in finding a kindred spirit. The two of them would have plenty of time to talk all they want during their adventure. For now, they had business attend to in securing funds for a dig here in Colombia in 6 months’ time.

Vixen was saddened to see them walk away, and even Evie looked disappointed for a moment.

“They have to talk to the President and he’s a stickler about “appointments.” Otherwise, I am sure we would’ve lost the two of you in your conversation over ancient worlds,” Veracruz explained quietly.

“That’s okay. We will talk lots in a few weeks. Wait…” Some thing registered in her mind. “Is your name… Felix?”

His face went blank, as he closed his eyes, sighing softly.

“It is!” She gasped triumphantly.

“Yes. Damn it Rick. Forgot he was one of the few who knew,” He acknowledged.

“I like it. I’m guessing you’d prefer if I still called you Veracruz though?” She guessed, biting her lip as she took in his expression.

“Yes. I would,” He stated simply.

She nodded, somewhat disappointed.

They spent another hour at the party, before finally heading to his home. She wasn’t very talkative during that last hour and he noticed.

When they arrived at his place, she simply walked upstairs to the bedroom, not really saying anything. She tossed off her shoes, and washed off her makeup, before gently removing the necklace and placing it on the vanity.

Veracruz walked in, bowtie undone, shirt unbuttoned. He quietly undressed, watching her out of the corner of his eye.

She slipped off the dress, revealing the very simple lace bra and underwear she had on underneath.

He sucked in a breath, taking in her curves.

“If I had known you were wearing that, I would’ve taken you home sooner,” He flirted lightly.

She smiled softly at that, taking off the bra, and slipping on a silk nightgown. She slid under the covers and curled up on the bed.

Veracruz finished undressing and stepped into the bathroom to spend some time rinsing out the gel in his hair before going to bed. The process took about 15 minutes to do, and he simply ran a towel over his hair to dry it.

When he stepped back out, she was still awake but only barely. Veracruz, in just a pair of boxers, got in bed, and pulled her in close to him. She curled herself around him, tangling her limbs with his.

He sighed after a moment, “You can call me Felix, in private. In public, I would prefer you used Veracruz.”

He knew she was upset by his earlier reaction; he wasn’t trying to be short with her. He just wasn’t prepared for that piece of information to be revealed.

“If it bothers you, why offer that? You clearly weren’t happy for me to learn that… though we’ve been together for almost a year now, find it odd that I am only just now learning your first name,” She muttered somewhat angrily.

“It bothers me because I wanted to be the one to tell you. Was actually planning on telling you this weekend, when I take you around the city. Was going to make it very romantic and everything,” He said with an exaggerated pout.

She rolled her eyes at that, and while the thought sounded nice, she was well in-tuned to when Veracruz was lying. His tone often took a slight mocking cheerfulness when he lied but she didn’t want to start an argument. She simply nodded her head and said nothing in response.

Veracruz tilted her head up so their eyes met. He could clearly see in her eyes that she didn’t believe him.

“Huh. It appears you are one of the few people who see through my lies. May I amend my previous statement?” He asked her, waiting for her nod. “I had planned to tell you. I just didn’t know how or when.”

That had sounded more truthful but even still, she wasn’t sure if she was going to use his first name often, if at all.

She simply pressed a kiss to his lips in response, appreciating the more truthful answer. She yawned, relaxing in his arms, slowly drifting off to sleep.

Veracruz looked down at her sleeping form and wondered, ‘How is it possible for this woman to read me like an open book?’

There were very few people who could see through his bullshit, his mother and Rick just to name the top two. He was somewhat amazed that she could pick up on it, when most women he dated before never did. He knew was thing was certain: she was going to keep him on his toes.

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

Overgrown Metal

Series Summary -  Almost two decades ago, the fae rose up from beyond the veil with technology far surpassing the human race, quickly taking over after laying waste to nearly everything in their wake. Now eight paths cross to right the wrongs on both ends, working to uncover secrets that would have rather stayed hidden.

Chapter 2 - Camping

Wrapping his cloak tighter around himself, the young man grumbled quietly to himself as he scooted closer to the small fire. Two cans of mini raviolis sat nearby, cracked open slightly and heating up just a foot away from the flames. He let out a quiet curse as his stomach grumbled loudly, making more noise in a couple seconds than he had in a week.

'What the hell is taking you so long?' he thought at his still absent companion. The water of the nearby river was freezing, it shouldn't be taking this long to clean. He would had heard if the other was attacked. Even if the attacker was silent Roman typically wasn't, their overly dramatic battle cries carrying over fields if they so chose them too. Maybe they fell in? Again, he would have heard the yell...unless the shock from the cold rendered them nonverbal. Or something had dragged them in. Maybe while cleaning off their weapons their hand had slipped and they had sliced themself open and was currently bleeding out and he wouldn't know because he was being too stubborn to leave the warmth of the fire. What if they fell and cracked their head open on a rock? What if-

Crunching footsteps interrupting his racing thoughts and he breathed a quiet sigh of relief. While he was getting better at not having to check on Roman every few minutes to make sure they were still around, it didn't stop his thoughts from quickly spiraling when the thought of him being alone again filled his head. Roman plopped down beside him having deposited their pack with their other belongings nearby, leaning forward to carefully take the cans away from the fire and depositing one in front of each of them before procuring spoons from God-knows-where but he was hungry so it didn't matter.

He growled low as he snatched the utensil, ripping the lid the rest of the way off and shoveling the ravioli with essence of tin in his mouth regardless of the heat.

"Slow down, dark and stormy gremlin, you're gonna choke!" He didn't even spare a glance at the scandalized face as the last of the sauce was scraped up and eaten in less than a minute.

"Was hungry." He mumbled out, hands disappearing back into the cloak as he burrowed further into its warmth.

The other eyed him fondly. "Honestly, Virgil I can't take you anywhere. I get a spot at the nicest pasta joint in town and this is how you behave? I really can't take you anywhere."

They frowned as they only received a soft huff in response. "Are you alright? I'm sorry I was gone for so long, that oil takes a while to work out in cold water."

Virgil shook his head. "....that."

Catching only half the mumble, Roman set their own empty can down and scooted closer. "Can I ask you to repeat that or is it a signing day?"

Virgil squeezed himself tighter in the fabric and lifted his head up towards the other. Roman's eyes shone with concern even in the dim light of their small campfire, the effect only slightly ruined by the dark curls drying in the humid air making them puff out in a fluffy halo around their head. The image made him smile lightly and duck his head back down to suppress his giggles.

"Hairs messy."

He only giggled harder at the offended gasp. "I'm offering you a damn heart to heart here and I get insulted!" Roman grimaced as they felt what state their hair was in, ruing their days as a traveler if only for the fact that hairstyles were rendered useless on an adventure. They were still bitter over The Great Hairspray Debacle of 2015, having to give the space up in their pack for "actual necessary supplies, Roman".

Virgil's laughter died down as the nervous feeling began to creep back into his thoughts. Roman noticed the sobering mood and sat back slightly, willing to wait for the young nervous wreck to gather his thoughts.

"Town's coming up."

Roman nodded. They knew there was a town with an underground market a few days travel away from the last time they had come through this way. They hadn't had time to stop before, but this time around they needed to empty out their packs of the items that had been piling up for a few weeks now and their supplies were getting low enough that they would have needed to stop to stock up anyway. They gestured for Virgil to continue even though they knew what the source of anxiety was going to be.

"What if..." Virgil growled in frustration as the words stuck in his throat, the rolling anxiety in his stomach and mind making him struggle to not shut down. Long, pale fingers twisted and bunched the fabric around him until with a frustrated huff they darted out and flipped out a quick gesture.

"Recognized?"

Roman nodded in understanding and he sighed in relief. He knew not being able to speak most of the time had to be annoying for his companion but thankfully they never seemed to mind, only waiting patiently for either words to be forced out or hands to jerkedly spell out what little bit of sign language he knew. He made up a lot along the way and most of the time he was able to be understood. With no internet to look up the language, books being a Society privilege and a general distrust of people making it difficult to ask anyone for lessons, even though they never stayed in one place for long, official sign wasn't something either of them were good at.

"That's why we have the cloaks and hoods and even the masks if we feel like we need them. We're pretty far away though, I doubt anyone we would know would be around." Roman took up a stick and poked around the fire a bit, stirring it as the embers began to die down for the night. "Nothing has ever happened at any of the towns we've been in, and I've heard this one is particularly...underground, so to speak. No one who would recognize us would be caught dead near there. We'll go in, sell our parts, grab supplies and get out. Next stop after that will be that abandoned city-town-place wherever that we heard about a while back. It'll be fine, Anx."

Virgil smiled at the old nickname, something Roman had taken to calling him when he refused to reveal his name the first few months they began traveling together. His shoulders relaxed the tiniest bit as the name ironically released some of the pent up anxiety, fingers releasing the cloak and instead splaying on his ripped black jeans to try and wipe off the accumulated sweat.

They both sat in silence for a while after that, watching the fire die down completely as the late evening faded into complete darkness, the clear sky allowing the stars to be on full display with no threat of light pollution to obscure their giddy twinkling. Crickets chirped quietly in the long grass, fireflies answering back their call with lazy winks of light. Even the river was hushed, water seeming to lap quieter at the shore for fear of breaking the rare tranquility the nearby travelers were soaking in.

With the world this soft and still, Virgil could pretend for a moment that this was merely an extended camping trip. Maybe they were on their summer break and were hiking for the fun of it. Tomorrow they could trek through a forest like it was nothing, sunlight streaming through normal tree branches as untouched wildlife teemed around them. All of their gear and supplies could be innocent in nature, the heaviest thing in their packs could be a small camping stove rather than their extensive collection of foreign trading parts. Their supplies were running low, so they'd soon start heading back the way they came, finding their car and laughing at some dumb play argument they had on the way back while they reloaded everything and climbed in the front, laughter turning to more bickering as they fought over what music they'd listen to first. Roman would drive first since Virgil only had his permit and wouldn't feel comfortable taking the wheel until he recognized the roads they were on. They'd get to Virgil's house and it would be coming onto late evening so he'd let Roman stay the night, knowing his dad-

Virgil furiously scrubbed at his eyes, snapping back from his thoughts. His dad wouldn't care of a friend stayed over. He didn't care about anything. He didn't even care when - no. Nope, not tonight. Rubbing absentmindedly at his arms he scooted backwards away from the now dead fire and laid back to watch the sky, Roman following soon after. They didn't say anything as he turned and wrapped himself around the other tightly, for which he was grateful. He smiled as he felt lips touch the top of his head and careful arms lay themselves across his back. Surrounded by safety and warmth it wasn't hard for sleep to find him.

-------

".....an."

"Come on, Ro....."

"Princey, get up!"

Roman shot up, blinking rapidly to clear the lingering sleep from their eyes and shaking their head to try and whip the tangled curls away. Glaring in response to their brothers shit-eating grin, they settled for flipping him off while they rubbed at their eyes, getting a water bottle thrown at them in retaliation.

"Too early." They mumbled as they fumbled with the lid.

Virgil laughed. "Try again, Sleeping Ugly, it's almost noon. I've had camp packed up for hours now."

Offended at the nickname but grinning nonetheless, they downed half the bottle in one go and dragged their pack over lazily. Virgil was always the early riser in their party of two, despite the late nights he often kept as a sleeping schedule. Roman however, was happy to spend the day hitting the metaphorical snooze button unless they had actual plans. Which, unless another Mech Beast was spotted this close to a town, which was highly unlikely, this was supposed to be a day of resting.

Looking over at the other however, their irritation softened as the ball of anxious energy went from task to already done task trying to keep himself busy. Though it seemed he'd be more talkative today than he had been that didn't mean his nerves weren't soaring to the sky with how close they were to people again. They knew they should both take a break today, but if moving would help...

Mind made up they stood, swinging the pack around to rest on their shoulder and picking up another to carry first for the time being. Different pieces of metal and containers holding strange substances clanked together inside, securely wrapped in paper and fabric to prevent them from breaking or getting scratched. They'd make Virgil carry it later on but they figured since they got extra sleep it would only be fair to carry the heavier pack first.

Trying one last time to fix their hair back into a reasonable shape Roman turned towards Virgil with a smile.

"Ready?"

Hoisting up his own pack he nodded and kicked at the already severely scuffed dirt, rising up on his tip toes as he began to walk.

"As I'll ever be."

This work is also available on AO3!

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[princesse-de-ravenclaw]

Text Me (pt.2)

Word count: 1,742

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The boys stayed up late that night, Remus giving Sirius a crash course in muggle technology and showed him all the features on his iPhone. Then, in the morning, they woke up bright and early to go buy Sirius a phone. After a lot of questions from Sirius about all the different types and brands of phones, he decided Remus knew best and purchased an iPhone as well. Remus helped him set it up, and the first thing he did was send Y/N a text.

Y/N couldn’t help but smile as she unlocked her phone and responded to his message.

Y/N’s smile only grew as she changed into a swimsuit and threw some clothes on over it. She felt a little silly, being so giddy to go see her friends, but she couldn’t help but think that Sirius was one of the cutest guys she’d ever seen. Snap out of it, Y/N, she thought to herself as she hopped onto her bike. He’s only here for a few weeks, you won’t see him again after that, she reminded herself. That could actually work out to be a perfect summer fling.... “Bye, Dad! I’m going to the lake with Remus!” She snapped out of her thoughts to holler to her dad as he picked the weeds in their yard. “Be home by 11!” He called after her. Y/N gave him a thumbs up and continued down the road. Oh, shoot, nothing’s gonna happen with Sirius, he’s Remus’s friend! Stupid... She shook the thought out of her head and quickly peddled down to the lake where Remus and Sirius were just arriving.

“Must you always be so painfully punctual?” Remus called to her. “You’ve met my dad, ‘if you’re less than 10 minutes early, you’re late!’” Y/N mimicked with a laugh. “Geez, sounds tough,” Sirius chuckled as he shed his shirt. It’s not hurting anyone just for me to think he’s cute... Y/N decided as she tried not to let her eyes linger on Sirius’s body. “He’s got his moments,” Y/N shrugged, and Sirius could tell it wasn’t wise to push any further. “Well, anyway, we’re all here now. Let’s hop in, it’s like a million degrees outside,” Remus was quick to change the subject and peel his shirt off before wading into the water. Sirius gaped at Remus as he nonchalantly swam into the water, letting the whole world see his scars.

“You alright there, Sirius? It’s like you’ve never seen Remus shirtless before,” Y/N laughed as she stripped down to her bathing suit and joined Remus in the water. “Well of course I have, we share a dorm. I’m just surprised because he’s usually a little more, erm, shy...” Sirius stumbles through his sentence. “What? Because of his scars?” Y/N asked. “He was when we first met, but I promised him that a few scars were nothing to worry about, and turns out, I think they make him look badass, which is funny considering how much of a wimp he is,” Y/N laughed, sending a big splash over Remus. “Oh, you think that’s funny, huh?” Remus cocked an eyebrow and lunged at Y/N. “Remus!” Y/N screamed as he pulled her under the water. She fought and flailed, but Remus’s grip was like iron, dragging her through the water with little to no effort.

When it was clear that her efforts alone would not help her escape Remus’s grasp, Y/N began to call for help. “Sirius!” She hollered in between laughs. “A little help please!” Sirius shook out of his surprise and ran in after the two laughing teens, diving under the water, only to return to the surface moments later to scoop Y/N up into his arms and carry he away from Remus. “Mate, you’re supposed to be on my team!” Remus hollered. “What can I say? I can never turn down a damsel in distress,” Sirius shrugged, placing Y/N down in the water a safe distance away from Remus. “I’ll keep that in mind,” Y/N laughed.

—

The teens spent the rest of the afternoon in the water, only returning to the shore when the sun was getting ready to set. “I’m starving, are you hungry?” Remus asked his friends as they all dried off. “Yeah, I’m famished,” Sirius agreed. “Do y’all want to go to Tony’s? He’s giving out unlimited garlic knots tonight and tomorrow,” Y/N suggested. “Oh, I love his lasagna!” Remus agreed, “But I’m sort of craving a ham and cheese sandwich,” he laughed. “How about I run home and grab some bread and lunch meat and such and we can have a picnic for dinner?” He suggested. “Do you want us to come with you?” Y/N offered. “No, that’s alright. I know how you like to watch the sun set,” Remus assured her with a smile. “It’ll take me like 20 minutes.” And with that, he hopped on his bike and left Y/N and Sirius sitting on the large boulders by the lake’s shore.

“So you know Remus pretty well, huh?” Sirius asked. He was curious how much Y/N knew about their lives since she clearly didn’t know about magic. “Yeah. I know it’s hard to believe since we only see each other a few weeks out of the year, but he’s easily one of my best friends,” Y/N smiled fondly. “He’s definitely a good one to have,” Sirius agreed. “What made you want to help him that day?” He asked curiously. “He really did seem freaked out. It was obvious he wasn’t from around here, and I wasn’t going to let the poor guy panic about a mountain lion that didn’t exist,” Y/N chuckled as she recalled the memory. “I figured I might as well make sure he made it down the trail okay, and by the time we finished, I could already tell we were gonna be good friends,” she told him. “We were inseparable after that. We spent the rest of that trip together and have kept in touch ever since,” a fond smile graced Y/N’s face as she remembered the first summer she spent with her best friend.

“I met Remus on our first day of first year, we shared a dorm together,” Sirius told her. “He didn’t talk much at first because he was so nervous,” he reminisced. “He almost wasn’t allowed to attend because of his...uh.. anxiety,” Sirius caught himself before he blurted out about Remus’s lycanthropy. “Because of the dog?” Y/N asked him, completely catching him off guard. “Huh?” He raised an eyebrow. “The dog that attacked him when he was little? He told me it caused him a lot of trauma as a child, but he’s learned to handle it now, and that he has great friends at school who helped him work through it when things got tough,” Y/N told him. “Oh, yeah he was a mess. We were eleven and he was so worried about everything. James and I got him to ease up pretty quickly though. It’s hard to be worried all the time when you’re constantly laughing,” Sirius grinned.

“Oh, I’ve heard all about James and how funny he is,” Y/N nodded. “And what’s his name, Peter? I’ve heard about him, too,” She nodded. “What have you heard about me?” Sirius smirked and raised an eyebrow. “Mostly that you’re insufferable,” Y/N teased, grinning at him. “Hm, yeah, you think that’s funny, do you?” Sirius asked, standing up and making his way closer to her. “Yeah, actually I do-oh, hey what are you doing?” Y/N squealed as Sirius scooped her up into his arms and made his way into the lake. “Sirius, that’s not funny don’t you dare!” She hollered. “Well apparently I’m insufferable and I think it’s funny,” Sirius shrugged before tossing her into the water and sprinting back to shore. “I’m literally going to kill you!” Y/N exclaimed and she popped out of the water, fiercely wading out of the water and bounding after Sirius. Just before she tackled him, he turned and reached his arms out, pulling her down the ground with him as she knocked him down with a thud.

Both teenagers were laughing maniacally when Y/N picked her head up off of Sirius’ shoulder, and their laughter quickly ceased when they became aware of the position they were in and how close they were to one another. Y/N and Sirius stared at one another for a few moments, neither one sure how to look away. “Well, I, erm, I reckon we’re even now. I tossed you into the water and you tackled me into the dirt... truce?” Sirius asked softly, not looking away from Y/N’s eyes. “Yeah,” Y/N breathed, nodding ever so slightly. “We’re even. Truce,” she hesitated a moment before placing her hands on the ground on either side of Sirius’ body and pushing herself off of him, before reaching for his hand to help him stand up as well. Sirius stood, holding onto Y/N hand for a few moments longer than necessary.

The two put their clothes on over their bathing suits and made their way back to where they had been sitting on the boulders and watched the sun as it finally began to set. Y/N shivered as the breeze picked up without the sun in the sky to warm her skin. “Are you cold?” Sirius asked her, “Here, take my shirt,” he offered, shrugging out of his long-sleeved t-shirt and passing it over to her. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to be cold..” Y/N trailed off, eyeing the shirt extended out to her. “Absolutely. I think the wind feels nice,” Sirius assured, holding the shirt a little closer to her. Y/N reluctantly took the shirt and put it on over her own, letting the sleeves dangle past her fingers to keep her hands warm. It was silent for a few minutes until Sirius spoke up. “So, you like watching the sun set?” he asked curiously. “Yeah, it’s my favorite part of the day. The way the sky changes colors, and everything is so vibrant. I don’t know, it’s beautiful. I’ve always just loved it,” Y/N shrugged with a smile. Sirius couldn’t help but smile too. Without thinking, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his new phone, fingers hovering over the screen until he remembered which button to press to bring up the camera. “What are you doing?” Y/N laughed. “You’re right,” Sirius told her, “This is beautiful, and I want to remember it.”

A/N: Thank you all sooooo much for being so patient with me. I was so happy to hear that people were still interested in this story and in my writing!! All of your kind words are VERY MUCH appreciated (and also very motivating!!) I hope you all love this chapter, and I can’t wait to let you read the next one.

Masterlist

Tags: @argentinemango​ @kbaille92​ @allertonn @espressoo-patronum​ @themarauderstheoutsidersandpeggy​ @evyiione​ @mrslaufeyson​ @clustersystemblogstuff 

[ikesenhell]

1985 Camaro

AMERICAN DREAM, Chapter 2. You can find all other IkeSen works of mine here. NOTES: Brief conversation about prior death, otherwise safe. Thank you @missjudge-me for commissioning this piece!

---

They camped out on the back patio until the sun set. He cooked gyoza and rice balls and some pan-fried chicken, and she ordered ice cream delivery, and they nested their knees together and tucked into a pint of something labeled ‘Just Ask’ and when he asked, she wouldn’t tell him, not even when he tickled her (It wound up being a delicious caramel-Oreo flavor). She instead told him about her degree and moving out, about keeping in contact with Mitsunari as he served in Tanzania through hand-written notes on origami paper. They swapped curated Instagram snapshots and embarrassing anecdotes and reminisced. 

“I’m sorry,” she said finally. “About your dad.”

Masamune shrugged. There was nothing to say. It hurt and always would, but that was his private journey. “Old bastard waited too long to have kids s’what. If he’d had me at a nice, respectable age, we wouldn’t be doing this, the old coot!” He waved a dramatic fist at the sky, relishing her giggles. “You fucked up!”

Overhead, his mother’s bedroom light flicked on. 

“Shit,” he muttered. She dropped her face into her hands to stifle the raucous laughter. 

“How—” Now she was whispering. Masamune wriggled closer, their legs reflexively entwining. “How’s that going?”

“Better than it used to. We can talk without yelling. Something something time and distance. I’m planning on hunkering down here for a little bit, and once all of the stuff is settled, I’ll probably go back north. The restaurant owners offered to hold my position for me, which is really nice.” 

“Hell yeah it is. Isn’t that kind of a cut throat world? They must love you.”

“Yeah. Good openings don’t stay open long in the restaurant biz, so that’s really cool.” Absently, he ran his thumb over the whorls of the deck. “What about you? What’s next?”

“Well.” And she paused, eyes luminous. “I got offered a job interview out east. It’s a good job.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Once upon a time, when she was too nervous to really settle her heart on something she wanted, she smiled shyly and fluttered her eyes away. Some things stayed the same. His heart surged as the familiar expression played out before him. “It could be a game changer for me.”

“That the case, huh?”

“Yeah. I mean, I have to do some logistics, and I have to interview, right? But if I get it…” She stretched up to the sky, wriggling her fingers long at the clouds, all the prickled flesh on her arms visible in the cold moonlight. Without thinking, he shuffled closer to warm her. “I mean, I have to actually get to the interview first, so there’s the first hurdle.”

Masamune chewed his lip. “How far out is it?”

“It’s in Virginia. Complete other side of the country. The plane tickets are outrageous.”

“Damn. Guess you’re road tripping, huh?”

A gust of warm breath huffed from her lips. “I mean, I hate going on them alone, but I don’t even have a car right now. Mine got totaled; kid hit me when I was driving down here. Guess I’m taking a damn greyhound.”

His first reaction was to say ‘yikes’, and then… well. Masamune paused, soaking in the possibilities. “So you need a car is what you’re saying?”

“Mmhmm.”

Back in the day, his dad often said that the universe lined things up. Masamune didn't exactly believe in fate—he believed in making things happen—but occasionally, he saw the reasoning. 

“How do you like eighties cars?” He asked. 

She eyed him, a smile in her eyes and voice. “Like the Camaro? Sure, it’s cool. Why?”

Masamune snickered. “Everything in the Date family is cool as hell. What if I told you I could get you a car and a road trip buddy?”

The click of her brain working was almost audible. “Don’t you have to be here?”

“Gotta wait for the death certificates, which is probably a week or so. Mom wants the Camaro gone, and if she has to be around me too long, she’ll probably get sick of me real quick. I might as well make myself scarce and hang out with a dear friend. Besides—I’ll cut you a deal on selling you it. Call it a test drive.”

“A test drive? For like, a week?” But she was grinning, her shoulders angled in toward his. “Weeklong test drives aren’t kosher, Mr. Date.”

“And I’m not Jewish.”

“Are you being serious right now?”

“Serious as my dad’s grave.” Masamume brushed a lock of stray hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Want me along for the ride?”

Once upon a time, years ago, the whole gang got into an altercation with an older man in a Ford pickup. They were only teenagers sitting on a dock, but the guy pulled up and screamed at them for ‘loitering’. Mitsunari tried to intervene, and when the man acted like he might hit him, Ieyasu almost threw hands himself. They’d retreated into the woods—and when the man left, Masamune, Mitsuhide, and she went back and lit the dock on fire to spite him. Right beforehand, she’d fixed him with the most mischievous expression he’d ever seen: mouth sucked into her teeth, eyes glittering, staring out from under her lashes. 

Now, she made that same expression, and it lit a fire in him. 

“We’d have to leave like…” She mentally calculated. “In three days to make it.”

“Or we could take the long road, do a little sightseeing, and leave tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” She echoed. Only a half second later, that smile was back. “I’m game.”

---

At six a.m. sharp, Masamune tried to wake her by flinging rocks at her window. That didn't work. At last he resorted to calling her, discovering that she stayed in a completely different room now. 

“Could’a used that knowledge,” he chuckled, hopping in place to warm his legs. The fog pressed in around him, September chill early this year. “Don’t suppose anyone is using that room?”

Her voice was thin, but warm over the phone. “No, it’s a home gym now.” 

“Great! I didn't hassle anyone else. Get out here, Kitten, we got a road to get on.”

She emerged twenty minutes later, sweatpants fresh from the dryer, wet hair in a sloppy bun and a suitcase click-clacking behind her. She never was a morning person. Masamune snickered and popped the Camaro trunk. “Wanna drive, or wanna let me do it?”

“You start. Can we get some Starbucks?”

“Ugh.” He clutched his chest, mock-wounded. “All of the coffee places in the world, and you want Starbucks. My palate is crying.”

Rolling her eyes, she slid into the passenger seat. “Drama queen.”

They got Starbucks. She tucked her feet into fuzzy socks and folded them under her knees, clutching the large mocha. Only the rush of the road beneath their tires filled the silence. Asphalt and trees emerged from the mist like a benevolent ghost, Americana obscured. They’d only just merged onto the highway when Masamune realized there wasn’t an audio jack in the car.

“Shit,” he muttered. 

She opened her eyes, head lolling on the headrest. “What?”

He flicked the dashboard. Nope, no audio jack. Not even a CD player. No; amidst all the toggles and buttons of the dash was a cassette player. “I don’t have anything to listen to. This thing won’t hook up to the phones, and I don’t have any tapes.”

“Hm.” Taking a long sip of her drink, she mused, “Maybe your dad has some in here?”

“I guess that’d make sense. Take a look around, would you?”

Sure enough, she was right. Tucked away in the glove compartment was a treasure trove: Fleetwood Mac, Eagles, AC/DC, Prince, Michael Jackson, Bruce Springsteen. “Damn,” she chuckled, “Your dad had good taste.”

Masamune took the copy of Rumors in his fingers, never taking his eyes off the road. The dust was thick under his thumb. “He’d play ‘Back in Black’ when he picked me up from school. It was cool as hell.” With a snap, he pried open the copy of Rumors and popped it into the player. The speakers hummed to life with strumming guitar, Fleetwood Mac echoing. “I know there’s nothing to say, someone has taken my place…” She rested her elbow on the center console, brushing his arm with her as she texted. 

“Guess what?” She murmured. “Mitsunari just got back from Tanzania.”

“Oh shit, really?” How long had it been? Masamune mentally calculated the dates. “I guess it has been two years, huh? The Peace Corps finally turned him loose?”

“Yeah. He’s apparently crashing at Ieyasu’s place—” Masamune barked a laugh, and she tittered, but continued, “—and wants to know if we’re going to head that direction.”

“He’s in Maryland, right?” Fishing out his phone, he checked it. “Yasu didn't tell me about this. Bastard. Well, we get there fast enough, then we can definitely hunker down there for a day or so and celebrate his coming back.”

Classic rock kept them company on the long drive. He didn't mind roadtrips. There was something sacred about them. Forget the American Dream; it was dead. Long live the American Road Trip, a rite of passage for the lost souls from sea to shining sea. Nothing cleared the senses like cranking up the heater on the floorboards and rolling down the window to a blast of autumn air. She let down her hair and it whipped wild in the wind. 

Thank God she was here. Masamune quietly relished her reappearance in his life. She was a gateway to an old world, one with his father alive, one where he still snuck out of the house at night and biked to the 7-Eleven for slurpees at 3a.m. They stopped at a Cracker Barrel for dinner and ordered root beer floats and roasted each other over the annoying ‘jump-the-pegs’ game perched on every table. Though you were supposed to reduce it to one peg, she couldn’t quite manage it. Somehow she kept getting two or three. 

“I got it down to one peg once,” she laughed, shoving it toward him. Masamune swirled it under his hand. 

“I can do it,” he commented. “But that’s because Mitsunari taught me the trick years ago.” He knocked the first peg out of the top of the triangle, moving it elsewhere. “That’s the one that’s gotta be empty. From there on out, there’s a set solution.”

She craned over it, investigating. “What’s the set solution?”

A long, hefty pause lingered between them as he slurped some of his float. 

“Dunno anymore.” He cracked a grin. “I forgot like, eight years ago.”

“Ass! Then you don’t know!” She swatted at his arm and grinned. “Liar!”

“Hey! I was just trying to look cool in front’a you, Kitten, I can’t look like some big dumb stud after all these years—”

“I love how you allow for the possibility that you’re dumb,” she cackled, “but not the possibility that you’re anything other than hot.”

“Am I wrong? Look at me.”

The roll of her eyes was exactly what he wanted. She shoved a biscuit at him over the table. “I think Mark Twain said something like, ‘it’s better to stop talking and appear dumb than open your mouth and remove any doubt’, Masamune.”

He clutched at his chest, but took the biscuit anyway. “You wound me, Kitten.”

As they were paying the bill, she split off and reappeared a minute later, plunking thirty cents onto the cash register and tucking a cinnamon stick into his jacket pocket. “Here.”

“My favorite!” He peeled back the plastic wrapper. “Thanks, Kitkat. You remembered.”

For the first time since they’d seen each other again, her expression evolved to one he’d almost forgotten. He’d only seen it once before. It was a moonlit night back in their senior year, after prom, when they were both lingering in the pool as everyone else passed out drunk. He’d wiped a leaf from her hair and told her she was beautiful, and she’d looked at him like that so long and hard that he wondered if he’d ever known her inner thoughts at all. 

“Of course I remembered,” she answered at last, soft and clarion clear. “I remember all kinds of things about you, Masamune.”

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Just One Date? ~ Part 2

A/N: hi loves! Here’s part 2! not much to say about it. It’s really dialogue heavy compared to the last one. Not nearly as long as the last one but I guess it’s kinda close. lol oops enjoy!

“Hi gorgeous.” the low voice said walking past me quickly. I turned to look up and saw him wink at me as he left the room following my boss. I was doing some editing stuff while Tuch was in the studio doing an interview. Most likely one that I would be editing the next day. I tried my best to focus on my work but it was really distracting knowing that he was just one room away and that in less than an hour I would be leaving with him to go on date number two. It had been about a week since the first one and I was once again nervous. Not that surprising to anyone really. We had been talking pretty much non-stop though since the date which was really nice but I couldn’t help but still feel a little bit nervous to see him like that again. I’d seen him since but it wasn’t as big of a deal as another date was.

Again he decided not to tell me where he was taking me on this date which was annoying but kind of fun too. All he told me was to dress comfy in pants and not too loose clothes with boots. Some weird instructions let me tell you what but I did as I was told and just wore it to work. He didn’t want to wait for me to go home and get changed because it would be ‘burning daylight’ so we were just going to leave from here. I was completely wrapped in my thoughts when my boss and Alex came back into the room breaking me from them.

“Alright (y/n), I’m out of here. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye Lindsay have a good one. I’ll make sure to lock everything up before I go.”

“Okay cool. Alex are you ready to go?”

“Actually I’m giving (y/n) a ride home so I’m just going to wait for her if that’s alright?”

“Yeah of course. I’ll see you guys later.” she sounded kind of bitter about it and I scoffed when she left.

“What was that?” he asked laughing.

“My boss has a thing for you.” I said turning to him half laughing too.

“Oh really? Maybe I can get her number.” he said with a playful look in his eye. I rolled mine and spun my chair to face away from him again.

“Rude ass.”

“Beautiful, no. I was just kidding.” he said coming up behind me and hugging around my shoulders. “Your number is the only girl’s number I care to have. Besides my mom and sister of course.”

“Sure, sure Tuchy whatever you say.” I said with a sarcastic smile.

“Hey.” he pulled my chair around to face him again and we were definitely face to face. “That was a bad joke. I shouldn’t have said it and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“I mean it gorgeous.” he leaned forward and gave me a chaste kiss. “Are you ready to go yet?”

“Just about. Just let me do this one last thing and then I’ll send it to Lindsay for feedback then we can get out of here.”

“Okay sounds good.”

“But you have to stop distracting me first.” I said kissing him again before spinning my chair back to the desk. I worked pretty quickly and got everything done. Alex slowed down the process by asking me a million questions about what I was doing and how to do it but eventually I finished and sent it to Lindsay for review.

“You’re so smart and talented. It’s so interesting watching you work.” he said as we left the building.

“Alex it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Yes it is.”

“Maybe sometime we could make a video and I could edit it together and teach you a bit of stuff.” I paused for a second thinking about what I had just said before continuing. “Okay I just realized it sounded like I was offering to make a sex tape with you and I just want to clarify that that is not at all what I was trying to suggest.”

“Do you need something for when I’m on the road?” he asked laughing at me.

“Noooo.”

“You could’ve just asked.”

“Noooo.” I said covering my face this time.

“Who knew quiet little (y/n) wanted to star in a sex tape with yours truly.”

“Alex shut up.” I groaned smacking his arm while still trying to hide my blushing face behind one hand.

“Didn’t want to have sex on a boat but wants to make a sex tape. Who knew you were like this? Little bit kinky don’t you think?” he asked with laughter still dancing in his eyes.

“You don’t even know yet.” I exclaimed before my face went even redder, my brain catching up to what I said. I slouched down in the seat of his car to try and disappear while Alex died of laughter. “Fuck off Tuch.”

“Babe, come on. How am I supposed to just leave that alone?” he asked still laughing.

“I’m sorry just please stop.” I begged. He looked at me and his face softened when he saw my face.

“I’m sorry for laughing and making jokes (y/n). I just wasn’t expecting you to say any of that. Didn’t think I’d ever get any kind of information like that, let alone find out that I don’t even know yet how kinky you are. I was just surprised. Forgive me?” he asked taking my hand and kissing the back of it while he continued driving.

“Yeah, yeah I forgive you.” I said rolling my eyes at him. “I don’t know why you’re so surprised though. I’m a grown woman and I know what I like.”

“I think I just forget since you’re just a little baby.”

“Alex I’m literally only 2 years younger than you.”

“Yes. A baby.”

“This baby’s gonna fight you if you’re not careful.”

“Are we gonna film it?” he asked with a smirk winking at me. I groaned loudly.

“You’re the worst.” I yelled out into the car making him laugh.

“You love it.”

“Yeah well if someone could help me find out why that would be greatly appreciated.”

“Gotta get some scans done for sure.”

“See a brain specialist. ‘Dr. why do I subject myself to and enjoy the company of Alex Tuch?’”

“He’d probably say because I’m fantastic company to keep.” he said with a dopey smile.

“This doctor has not been in your company like I have then.”

“Ouch! You wound me.” he said grabbing his chest.

“Someone has to.” I said laughing. “Can’t let that ego get too big.”

“I did always need some help keeping that in check. Good thing I’ve got you to do it now huh?”

“I guess it is.” I said smiling softly at my hands. “Do I get to know what we’re doing today or what?”

“Or what.” he said smirking.

“Come on Alex please?” I begged, giving him my best puppy dog pout.

“Come on don’t give me that shit. (y/n) stop you’re so cute.”

“I will not.”

“Fine you little pain in the ass. I’m taking you horseback riding.”

“Yay! Wait really? We’re going to ride horses?” I asked getting excited and grabbing his arm which made him smile big too.

“Yes we’re going to ride horses. I thought it would be fun and I’ve heard you mention a few times that you like horses so..”

“I only mentioned that like once or twice, how did you remember that?”

“Oh uh it doesn’t matter really. I just remember a lot of things when it comes to you.” he said rubbing his hand on the back of his neck, his cheeks blushing a light shade of pink at the confession. I reached over and gave him a kiss on the cheek which had him blushing more.

“That’s so fucking cute.”

“Yeah well..”

“You’re so fucking cute. Look at that, I’ve got you blushing now.”

“You could stop any time.”

“Nope.”

“Why?”

“Don’t wanna.”

“Brat.” he said with a big grin.

“What are you gonna do about it Tuch?”

“You better watch it or you’ll find out.”

“Pfft no I won’t.”

“You’re not the only one who’s kinkier than originally expected (y/n).” he said in a low voice that had me swallowing whatever snappy remark I had waiting.

“Oh?” 

“You’d probably be just as surprised as I will be.”

“Bold of you to assume we’ll get past this second date to find out.”

“Hey, we had that really good first date and if I remember correctly you’ve been blowing up my phone ever since so I’m pretty confident I’ll get a third one and maybe a fourth.” he said smirking.

“You’re so cocky. And I’d like to point up you blow up my phone just as much if not more than I do. I just have a lot of random things to say and no one to send them to.” I said looking at my hands.

“Hey no, don’t get all quiet on me.”

“I’ll stop if you want?”

“No (y/n) I don’t want you to stop. I was just joking around. I love hearing from you out of nowhere that someone is doing something weird on the bus or that you saw something cool to show me later. I think it’s really sweet that whenever things happen to you and around you, you want to tell someone. And the fact that the someone is me? Amazing. Don’t stop doing it.”

“I’m at a loss for words.” I said quietly.

“Well finally.” he said sarcastically making me hit his arm with a smile.

“You’re the worst.”

“You right. But come on we’re here so I can be the worst on a horse now.”

“Great.” I said jumping out of his truck.

“At least when you say yeehaw it’ll make sense here.” he said coming around to my side and taking my hand.

“Hey, yeehaw is an appropriate thing to say in any situation I’ll have you know.”

“Yeah sure, if you say so.”

“I do say so.”

We walked up to the registration building and signed in. The man working was super nice and very helpful pairing us with the perfect horses. I had a beautiful light brown horse with a black tail and mane. Her name was Sunny and she was gorgeous. She kind of looked like the horse from the movie Spirit. Tuch had a black one that was equally as beautiful. Alex took a couple pictures of me with Sunny before we left on the trail because in his words ‘this is just too cute not to capture’. He wouldn’t show me the pictures though which was annoying but oh well. It was so nice and relaxing to spend time with a horse again. It had been so long since I had ridden a horse but it was still awesome. I guess it was also nice to spend time with Alex too but. Horse.

Alex had a little more difficulty with riding his horse. She was a little more energetic than my horse, for lack of a better word. She just wanted to go fast but the guy who was leading the way held her by a leash so she wouldn’t run away. It was kind of funny.

We went uphill for quite a while through a really nice forest trail. I couldn’t believe the sights that we saw on the trip. Once we got to the top there was a beautiful mountain on the other side of a canyon with a small river running right through the middle of the land. It was like looking at a painting, something someone created in their mind, instead of real life scenery in front of me. We were back at the beginning way too soon for my liking. I pet the horse some more while Alex was signing out and fed her some treats.

“Come on beautiful, we gotta go.”

“Do we have to? I don’t wanna.” I said pouting slightly but still smiling.

“Yes (y/n) we do. We can come back again if you want to, I had fun.” he said grabbing my hand and leading me out.

“Even though you were a shit cowboy?”

“Excuse me? I was not a shit cowboy!” he exclaimed loudly.

“You had to be held on a leash Tuch! I was the better cowboy.”

“I will never admit that in my life.”

“You don’t have to. I know it’s true. The boys will believe me. It’s all good.”

“You’re a pain in my ass, you know that?” he asked when we got to the car. I leaned against the door of the truck and just smiled at him sweetly.

“Yes, yes I do.”

“Don’t you smile all sweet at me. Cute-ass bitch.” he said, making me let out a burst of laughter.

“You.” I said smiling more. He surged forward and connected his lips to mine in a way that left me breathless when he broke away.

“Sorry..” he said, pulling away. “I couldn’t help it.”

“Pfft okay. It’s fine.”

“Get in the car you little pain.” he said smirking giving me another quick kiss.

“Can’t get in the car if you keep kissing me.”

“Smart-ass.” he laughed and went to his side of the car getting in. I got in too and we started the drive back to my place. “Do you want to stop and get some food somewhere before I bring you back home?”

“Yeah sure. Where were you thinking?”

“I don’t know, it’s a cheat day so I thought maybe fast food if you don’t mind that?”

“Alex look at us. We’re full of hay and smell like horse. I don’t think any fancy places will be itching to let us come in. Besides I don’t want you to spend a lot of money on me.” I said getting quiet.

“I don’t mind spending money on you, (y/n).” he said snorting. “I have enough to spare.”

“I know I just..sorry nevermind I don’t know..”

“Hey, no tell me. You do know.”

“I just don’t want you to think that I’m going on dates with you because you’re spending a lot of money on me or something.. I’m not like that and I don’t want it to come across as that or anything.”

“I know that you aren’t like that, gorgeous. Don’t worry about that at all. I just want to have fun with you and maybe spoil you sometimes. You deserve that.”

“Just don’t go too crazy Tuch, I don’t need expensive things or dates.”

“I know I just wanted to.”

“Okay. The next date I’m planning.”

“See I told you I was confident about getting a third date out of you.” he said with a wink.

“Oh fuck off. As if anyone is surprised by this information.” I said rolling my eyes. “Well hopefully after the one I plan you’ll want a fourth.”

“I definitely will.”

“Wow the confidence you have in me is amazing.”

“I like you, why wouldn’t I be confident that I’d want to see you again?”

“I dunno.”

“Give yourself a little credit cutie.” he said putting his hand on my thigh and squeezing in a comforting way. “Is Mcdonald’s okay?”

“Uh yeah that works for me.”

“Okay cool.” he said pulling into the drive thru. “What do you want?”

“Large fry and a small M&M mcflurry.”

“Are you sure that’s all you want?”

“Yes.”

“And not because you’re worried about me spending money?”

“No that’s just all I want.”

“Okay if you’re sure.”

“I am Alex.” He ordered the food and sat it all in my lap as we drove out. “Why do I have everything?”

“I don’t want to drop it.”

“Do you want to come back and eat it at my place?”

“Yeah sure we can do that if you want.”

“I’m asking what you want Tuch.”

“Okay fine then yeah let’s go back to your place.” we drove back in pretty much silence since I was eating my mcflurry. When we got there I unlocked the door and let him lead the way in. He dropped the food on the table and laid across my whole couch making me roll my eyes.

“Just make yourself right at home.”

“I will thanks.” he said, smirking at me. I rolled my eyes again getting my food out of the bag and pushing his legs back so I could sit. “Hey this was my comfy spot.”

“Bite me.” I told him with my mouth full of french fries.

“I will if that’s what you’re into.” he said raising his eyebrows suggestively.

“Calm your hormones Tuchy.”

“They’re calm.” he said wrapping an arm around my waist pulling me closer to him. He reached past me and grabbed his food but kept one hand around me.

“You’d probably have more luck if you just let go of me for a second.” I said as he struggled with the takeout containers.

“I don’t want to though.” he said squeezing my waist. “Just help me?”

“Stop pouting you baby.” I said opening his food for him. “Happy you ween?”

“Um I am not a ween but yes I’m happy.” 

We ate pretty much in silence, just a random episode of spongebob on in the background. Once we were done I went and threw out the garbage before coming back in and sitting back against him.

“Come here.” he said quietly.

“Why?”

“I want to cuddle you duh.” he said rolling his eyes making me blush. 

“Fine.”

“Come here cutie.” he pulled me down to him so we were spooning but he had his head lifted a little bit so we could both still watch cartoons. “There that’s better.”

“Good I’m glad you big baby.” I said pulling his arm across my chest and laced my fingers with his.

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 42

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- note for this chapter: not that many things happened but i hope you enjoy it anyway. yes, i did use the ‘tank’ tweet without any shame lmao! also, i know Louis and Eleanor broke up wayyy before that time, but it worked for the story so thats why i wrote it there.

 i want to add as many requests as i can in the next few chapters so expect a lot of fluff and smut. my goal is to post chapter 43 on sunday night sooo i hope i have enough time to finish it!

here are the requests i used for this chapter!

Chapter 42 : His chapter

NIALL

No matter how hard I tried to fall asleep on the flight back home, it wouldn't work. The seat felt uncomfortable and for some reason I couldn't understand, I felt slightly nervous. I was scared to see her, scared that she changed, scared that she thought I had changed... and at the same time, i couldn't wait to hold her, smell her, kiss her... It was early and I knew she was probably still going to be asleep when I’d come back home and all I wanted was to slither under the covers and cuddle her naked body. I missed home and I missed her and somehow, I felt like both were connected... or just synonyms.

I didn't say a word from the whole flight and when we landed, I suddenly felt extremely tired. I grabbed my backpack and walked slowly out but when I noticed her, all the tiredness inside my body suddenly left.

"Liv?" I whispered to myself with a frown.

She was not supposed to be there, she was supposed to wait for me home, but our eyes met and I realized I wanted her to be there, I needed her to be there, and she was. I dropped my backpack on the floor with a loud thud and walked quickly to her as she did the same. My heart twisted in my chest and I bent down slightly to wrap my arms on her waist and picked her up, twirling us once before putting her back down. She laughed and shook her head when our eyes met again, licking her lips. She was smiling and I was pretty sure her grin was as big as mine.

"You shouldn't pick me up." she murmured so only I could hear.

"Why?"

I frowned again but with a smile on my lips, this time.

"I'm too heavy for you."

My smile fell and I stared at her for a few seconds, raising my eyebrows and letting my hands slide from her shoulders to her arms.

"First off, you're not heavy." I pointed out, my eyes roaming on her face as I squeezed her hands gently. "And also..." I shrugged and scoffed jokingly, closing my eyes for a second before looking back at her. "I'm a strong man. An absolute tank."

She started laughing and it made me smile. I didn't realize how much I missed her laugh, her face, the warmth of her body. Why did I leave again? I couldn't seem to find a good reason.

"Oh yea, you definitely are." she replied low, nodding a bit.

"I fucking missed you, Olivia." I just admitted, ignoring her last comment. "You talked about locking ourselves home for a few days? Let's do it."

She chuckled this time but didn't answer, shaking her head but still staring at me. I let go of her wrists and brought both my hands on her cheeks to cup her face. Her eyes moved quickly on mine and dropped to my mouth before looking up again. Her lips parted and I bent down but just as I was about to kiss her, I heard her whisper.

"No PDA remember?"

My hands pressed more on her cheeks and she remained totally motionless until I shook my head too.

"Fuck that."

When my lips crushed on hers, I shut my eyes tight as something seemed to stir in my stomach. We remained motionless for a while, our mouths pressed together, and I finally deepened the kiss gently, trying to feel everything possible and impossible to feel in the moment.

"I love you so much, Nee." she whispered, making my lips curl a bit. "I'm sorry if pictures of this appear online tomorrow."

She took a step closer and grabbed my shirt with both hands, making the kiss grow intensely. My heartbeats accelerated when she whimpered in my mouth and my hands slid a bit further behind her head to finally grip her hair.

"I really don't give a fuck right now." I whispered back, allowing my lips to leave hers briefly. "I'll worry about that tomorrow."

She chuckled in my mouth and after a while, I opened my eyes again and brought her closer, wrapping my arms around her head and leaning my cheek on the top of it. I knew we should leave but I just wanted to keep her in my arms, close to me. We had been separated for six weeks and I was ready to hold her against me for as long as I had been gone. It's only when I felt a hand on my shoulder that I remembered where we were. The sounds and voices around me became suddenly clearer and I blinked a few times, loosening my embrace around my girlfriend.

"I'll text you." Willie said in a low before i nodded and smiled at Deo.

I watched them leave and sighed low, moving slightly away and looking down at Liv, just noticing she was still wearing my sweater. It made me smile and I chuckled low.

"Come on, let's go home and put this hoodie in the washing machine." I proposed, reaching for her hand and intertwining our fingers before pulling her with me. "You don't need it anymore, i'm back. And i'm not leaving again."

I watched her drive and was surprised that she didn't put her music on. She normally makes it play so loud that we can't have a discussion but instead, we were surrounded by a light and comfortable silent. We were almost home when she pulled on the side of the road, making me frown but I didn't say anything. I was surprised to see her completely break down when she parked and my heart jumped in my chest at the sight of my girlfriend, her head and arms leaning on the wheel while she sobbed so hard her shoulders were moving.

"Hey... hey, what's wrong?"

I quickly undid my seat belt and moved closer to her, pulling her against me as I tried to undo her seat belt too to get her as close as I could to me. She buried her face in my shirt and this time, I leaned my chin on her head.

"I'm here, don't worry, everything will be okay." I breathed out, squeezing her tighter. "You're okay."

I was not sure why she was crying but being reunited again seemed to affect both of us. I knew we hadn't been separated for a long time, and I also knew it was not the first time we were apart, but now that we were dating, we seemed to see things a bit differently and being so far from each other was something harder to accept.

"I'm not leaving again, okay?" I just added, kissing the top of her head. "Not without you."

She chuckled between two sobs and pulled away from me. I searched for her eyes and felt my heart twist when I saw the tears on her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me." she apologized, shaking her head and avoiding my gaze.

She was about to wipe her tears but I reached for her face and ran my thumbs under her eyes to do it myself. Her cheeks were red and it made me think she probably didn't sleep much the night before.

"Do you want me to drive?"

She nodded slowly and I got out of the car, walking around it quickly just as she got out of it and once again, I took her in my arms. I felt her arms slither around me and her hands grip the back of my shirt. I didn't say anything, I just waited until she let go of me and when were both ready, I started the car again and drove in silence, reaching for her hand as often as I could and squeezing her fingers gently.

I left my bag in the lobby when I walked in and followed her to our room. I was surprised to see her take her hoodie off only to notice she was not wearing anything under it and when she pulled her sweatpants down, I also realized she went commando. I wanted to point it out to her and joke about it but instead, I swallowed hard and watched her get under the covers. Quickly, I took my clothes off too and joined her in bed, pulling her close to me. I felt her relax in my arms and when her lips brushed on my neck, I closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I didn't think it would be so tough on you. I don't want to make you cry, I don't want to make you sad. I'm sorry, petal."

I waited a few minutes to hear her answer but surprisingly, she didn't say anything. I pulled away and searched for her eyes, frowning when we made eye contact. I could read sadness on her face and I pressed my lips together. She brought one of her hands on my cheek and my first thought was that I really needed to shave. I knew she wanted to say something and she normally doesn't stop herself from talking but this time, I felt her hesitate and it stressed me.

"Talk to me." I proposed in a whisper. "You know you can tell me anything."

She blinked a few times and closed her eyes for a while before sighing and looking back at me. Her hand slid from my face to my chest and she licked her lips, swallowing hard. I knew it was tough for her and the longer it took, the more nervous I was becoming.

"We didn't talk about it yet and.. I didn't want to ruin your trip or make this about me, but I have to know, Niall." Her facial expression changed and it was painful to see. "Who's the girl your cousin was talking about, did you... did you cheat on me?"

My eyes roamed on her face as my heart broke and I could clearly see she was holding back her tears again. Did she spend three weeks thinking about that? Did she keep that inside just for me? Just to make sure I'd live my trip plenty, disregarding her own feelings?

"I didn't cheat on you." I replied seriously, staring in her eyes. "I met a bunch of incredible people and yea, I met a few girls but..." Her face changed again and I let my fingers sink in the skin of her waist. "Hey, I didn't do anything, we just... talked."

Once again, we stared at each other and she didn't talk. I tried to decipher her expressions without much success. I desperately wanted to know what she thought and how she felt but I ended up just shaking my head slightly.

"Are you mad?"

"No." she replied after licking her lips. "That would be hypocrite of me."

I frowned a bit and pulled her a bit closer.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh nothing, just that you asked Louis to check on me and apparently we get along good and... i've spent most of my time with him and we talked a lot." she explained, shrugging a shoulder. "I can't really be mad at you for talking with other girls, I guess."

I wanted to reassure her again and tell her that she was the only one for me but instead, I frowned.

"Only Louis? He didn't bring Eleanor?"

Her traits softened and she sent me a sad smile.

"They broke up."

The surprise was so strong I felt slightly dizzy.

"What? When?"

"A few days before you left." she told me with an other shrug. "He didn't want to bother you with that, but we talked a lot and even if he's clearly not over her, he feels better."

I didn't want to be jealous and if I wanted to be honest with myself, I couldn't remember the last time I was really jealous when it came to a girl and assumed it. I normally didn't focus or bother with things like that but at this exact moment, I was a bit mad at one of my best mates for the time he got to spend with my girlfriend even if it was my fault for leaving and even if i had asked him to check on her. I wanted to ask her if something happened between them but I just swallowed my question and nodded slowly.

"Is there anything else you want to ask me?"

Her lips curled into a fond smile and she shook her head.

Are we okay?"

"I trust you." she whispered, her hand brushing on my skin, stopping in the middle of my back. "We're fine."

                                                     ---

I felt her nervous next to me as we waited for our friends to come over. We had spent a few days only us, locked in the house, sharing our time between sleeping, making love, watching tv and eating, but we both knew it was time to go back to reality.

Julie and Liam were the first ones to arrive, bringing a bottle of wine that we immediately started. For some weird reason, we were both stressed to interact with Harry again, and I was not sure why. I never really found out how and why Liv and him broke up and I knew I never apologized for throwing a tantrum on that day Olivia admitted her feelings to me. I should have known back then that my anger to see them together proved that I had romantic feelings for her but I was blind and Harry hadn't deserved to pay the price for that.

I finished my glass as soon as the doorbell rang again and was surprised to see both Louis and Harry waiting behind it. I sent them a small smile and moved away to let them in but I stopped Harry as he was going to the living room.

"Look, mate." I said with a sigh, putting both my hands in my pockets. "I never got to apologize for yelling at you back at Liv's a few weeks ago. It was wrong of me. She never told me why you two broke up and when I saw you guys together again... i don't know, but i'm sorry."

He listened carefully, nodding gently, and when I was done, I saw a small smile spread on his lips.

"She never told you?" he asked, his smile growing. "We broke up because I knew she loved you and I told her. I've always known, I just tried to ignore it for a while but it was getting harder with time and around the end, it was just impossible. It's okay, i'm alright, I'm seeing someone right now, and i'm happy for both of you."

I stared at him, a bit shocked by his words even though I knew it made perfect sense. I didn't want to lose my friend, and knowing he wasn't mad at us was a relief, even if it felt a bit selfish of me.

"Thanks, i'm happy for you too."

I took my hands out of my pockets to hug him just as I noticed Olivia coming out of the kitchen from the corner of my eyes. She squealed and threw herself in Louis' arms and I pulled away from Harry to look at them interact. I knew I was not going to be fond of their friendship but I didn't know just how tough it would be. I watched as they hugged and when he brought his hand on one of her cheeks to bring her to him and kiss her other cheek, I held my breath. This horrible feeling started spreading inside me like poison in my veins and I hated myself for letting it get to me.

"They got closer in the past weeks." Harry explained as I kept staring at my girlfriend. "Poor Louis, it sucks for him and El, she really was the love of his life."

"Apparently, he found comfort in the love of my life." I let out with a groan, pushing my hands back in my pockets.

"Wow."

I turned to Harry before glancing back at Louis and Liv.

"What?"

"Are you fuckin' jealous?" Harry chuckled, his lips parted and his eyebrows raised in surprise. "Never thought i'd see that in my life."

"I'm not jealous, I mean," I shrugged. "They're just friends."

"Yea your head knows that but your heart's fighting that conclusion, isn't it?" Harry added, making me grimace. "And you tell yourself that you and Liv were only friends at first, too."

My face twisted in a bigger grimace and I closed my eyes.

"Thanks, Harry, hadn't thought about that."

"Look, she's not doing anything wrong. You left for almost two months and she trusted you. You're constantly surrounded by attractive women, so now you know how hard it must be for her."

I turned to him and frowned a bit, my lips forming a smile.

"Did you become the little angel on my shoulder or something?" I asked, making him chuckle.

"All I'm saying is, you may want to think about that next time a girl flirts with you." he pointed out, taking a step closer to me. "But i'm gonna tell you one thing I know... Olivia would never cheat on you, she's totally in love with you. The first time we had sex, I woke up in the middle of the night and she was whispering your name."

I turned my head his way so fast that I thought I had broken something. His confession made my heart skip a bit and I frowned again.

"She didn't tell you about that either?" he wondered as I shook my head. "Yea, I told her about it but I can understand why she didn't mention it. I just said that to make you realize that it's always been you. And that?" he pointed to Louis and Liv with his chin. "That is not gonna change the feelings she has for you."

I turned again to look at my girlfriend with Louis' arm around her shoulders. He was holding his glass up, making the three others laugh, and Liv leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I hope you're right."

                                                 ---

I tried to ignore the jealousy inside me for the rest of the night and it was getting easier with time, especially when Olivia would come to kiss me, put her hand on my thigh or just randomly cuddle me. I never enjoyed to show affection much in front of people but I was starting to like it with her.

"Okay guys, let's take a selfie!" I shouted after a few drinks.

We all got up and I held Liv closer to me as I tried to get everyone in the picture and finally posted it online with a short caption. We all sat back on the couch or the floor and Louis came back with a few more beers and an other glass of wine for my girlfriend.

"So Neil, how was your trip?"

"Incredible." I let out before relating a few stories.

We all laughed and when the discussion drifted to something else, I started thinking about the girl I had lusted for half a second. I felt a hand squeeze mine and turned around, my eyes meeting Liv's and my heart skipping a beat but I licked my lips and forced a smile. It scared me to think she may have felt the same thing for someone else, even if I knew it wouldn't mean anything. It didn't mean we weren't meant to be, did it? The truth was, I had always thought Louis and Eleanor were the most stable, real and strong couple in the world and now they were over. What did it mean for Olivia and I? Was it something we would inevitably have to go through? Would we both lust other people and end up falling for someone else after a while? Could we even survive the next few years as a couple? After all, we were young and I planned to keep on doing music. I wanted to record albums, go on tour and live my life to the fullest... I didn't even know if she was ready to follow me through all that.

"Niall, hey, are you okay?"

I blinked a few times and grabbed her other hand, moving my upper body closer to hers and pecking her lips.

"Yea, I'm good, just tired."

"Do you want an other beer?"

I sent her a fond smile and nodded slowly. "Thank you petal."

Her hand reached for my cheek and I felt her thumb caress my stubble gently for a few seconds before she got up and left. My eyes followed her until she was out of sight and I sighed a bit too loud, leaning back against the couch. It's only after about 10 minutes that I realized she was not coming back. I got up to see if she was okay and found her sitting on the kitchen's counter, her eyes glued to her cellphone. As I got closer, I realized she was crying and I frowned, walking quickly to her and putting my hands on her thighs.

"Love, why are you crying?"

Her eyes met mine and my heart broke. I loved this girl and i didn't know why but sometimes, it just hit me so bad that I could feel my whole body throb.

"They all hate me." she breathed out, making me frown again.

Slowly, I took her phone from her hand and looked at the screen. She was looking at the picture I had posted a few hours ago on instagram, probably due to the notifications she received, and I scrolled down to read a few comments. They were all talking about her sketchy relationship with Louis and how close they had seemed to be during my absence. The number of insults about her were unbelievable and rude and my lips parted as I read people calling her a 'cheater', 'fame thirsty', and things even more horrible.

I shook my head and put her phone away on the counter, pulling her closer to me and searching for her eyes.

"Hey, Olivia look at me." I asked in a murmur. "Please, honey, look at me."

The love name made her look up and I licked my lips.

"You are none of these things they call you, they don't know shit about you, and I trust you." I expressed slowly, keeping eye contact. "Don't let them make you cry, don't let them ruin your day."

I didn't want to tell her it would always be like that and that it'd be worse now that we were dating. I didn't want to tell how cruel some people had been online to girls around me. I didn't want to risk losing her over it and I wanted to protect her.

"Olivia, i'm so fucking in love with you."

Her face changed but I kept staring at her and although I knew my last words had nothing to do with what she was going through, I felt her body relax a bit and let out a low sigh of relief. Slowly, she got off the counter and I took a step back to give her space. She tilted her head, staring at me with her lips parted, and grabbed my shirt, pulling me closer gently.

"Say it again."

My lips curled with amusement and I chuckled.

"I'm so fucking in love with you." I repeated slightly louder. "You're the love of my life."

"One more time." she asked, this time making me laugh.

"I am so fucking in love with you, petal. And you're the love of my life."

If she wanted to hear it all night, i'd repeat it all night, as long as it would help keep that smile on her face. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer as she moved her chin up to keep looking at me.

"Tell me every day." she whispered more seriously.

I let my eyes roam on her face, my amused smile turning into a fond and loving one.

"I promise."