#supposed to be a simple lighting practice but my hand slipped. woops!

[triciabeloved]

checkmate!

[ecotone99]

[HR] Puff, puff, passout

"I never was a morning person. Lately it's been harder to fall asleep at night. Reading or watching random Netflix series helped for a while but I needed a proper fix for this. No pills."

"So, what then?" she asked from behind the counter.

"Well, not a pup, obviously. I'll try a fish tank. I've seen those subreddits with planted things in tanks, they say it's relaxing to watch."

"Yeah, pretty dope. Anything specific?" kept chewing that gum. What a rhythm she has, geez. You can actually see the jaw muscles working along with that fucking annoying sound. Mouth half open. Fuck me.

"Sort of the reason I'm here, I need some guiding." And a phone number would do, I wonder what other chewing that mouth can take.

"Umm, yeah, tanks are in the back" quick popping sound, did she just pop a gum ballon? "Just don't stick your fingers in."

"Right..." should I read into that?

​

The store was pretty well stacked. Dog leashes. Treats. Cat litter boxes. The usual suspects. Way back in the store, in a dimly lit area with water filter buzzing sounds and splashes, was the aquarium section. Was this every pet shop ever? What a cliche. Must be some reasons behind it, tho. Turtles. Shrimp tanks. Gross. Maybe that's why they keep these in the back, why the fuck would anyone think of having bowls with water animals in their home? I wonder who was the first person that saw a shrimp and went "Yo, I'd keep this on my desk... Anyone has a jar to borrow?" and just went with it. What a legend. And snails. Fuck me. Look at those fuckers just sliding and chewing on the glass surface...

"You like the slimy things?" and the chewing continued.

Uncalled. "I'm just looking. Nature is weird..."

"If you want a planted tank, it's helpful to have a couple. They eat surface algae. Coupled with a bunch of Otto catfishes and maybe some shrimp, it will make your life easier when it comes to maintenance"

"You have to do maintenance on these? It's a handful of plants in a water box"

"Yeah, umm, you just look at the pictures, right?" chew, pop "It's not that simple."

"And you're trying to sell me stuff, I get it. How heavy are these things?"

"You're not buying them like off the shelf" pop, chew "I'll make you a list"

Tanks on shelves. Small, tall, long. Corner shaped. Cubes. "I like the cube thing. Smaller the size, less the maintenance, right?" all treble, no bass, low volume radio screamed in the corner "(Go west, this is what we're gonna do, go west)" is that Pet Shop fucking Boys? How fit. What a cliche.

"Yeah, you're figuring it out I see" sneaky corner-of-the-mouth smile, mindless chewing, casual popping.

​

She went on and on with filters, substrate, cycling, an hour later I was back at my place doing hardscape arrangements while she was looking for Pinterest zen arrangements.

Chewing. Random pops.

"I'll go back to the store to get some wildlife, don't touch anything." and she did.

Warm evening. Orange glow, the kind that makes your jeans stick to your legs. Chewing and popping. Water splashes and plants.

"I thought you said no fish for the first weeks, and here we are. You played me."

"Yeah, I kinda did." she had a certain charm. Should I read into that? "And now the pufferfish"

"A pufferfish. How fucked up is that animal..." it swam around gently, looking for something.

"We're all animals" and a perv-y look follows, wow. Is this a cheap porn clip? "See this snail over here?" it was a weird, ice cream cone shaped slime thing, with something sticking out like a trunk, burrowing itself slowly in the sand.

"Since when do snails have trunks?"

"It's a carnivore snail"

"A what now?"

"The tank needs equilibrium. The other snails eat the algae, but they will start to reproduce and eventually will start eating your plants. The Assassin snail eats other snails, keeping them in check"

"How fucked up is that, really..." and that fucking fish. Stingy blob. "What's the puffer for?"

"That's for.. other reasons..."

Doorbell.

"I'll be right back, must be the landlord. Rent." great. "In a moment, Jake!" good timing there, Jake. You couldn't wait until tomorrow with that rent, could you? Where the fuck did I put the money... is it ok if she sees this? We met an hour ago...

Doorbell.

"Yes, yes!"

Door lock is a bit screechy. Old. Rusty. Should mention this to him, again. Oh, yes, behind the books. Now I should change the hiding place, maybe.

"Before you answer the door, do you have a grinder?" big eyes fixed me. She kept chewing, God damn it.

"Bottom drawer. Be right back." Right, the door. Money. Jack. After a cute little struggle and rusty metal sounds, there was Jake.

"Oh you have visitors" he reeked. Sweaty motherfucker, almost gagged while handing him the money.

"Yeah, about the door lock, Jake..." door screech again, closing it behind me "How long until you can change it, please? one day I won't be able to open it. Might get stuck inside. Can I tear it down if that happens?"

"Listen, I told you I'd fix that, why don't you trust me on it?"

"Sure thing, listen, I'm a bit busy. By the next rent do something about it, I don't like reminding this"

The fucker slowly paced down the hallway, counting the cash. "Talk to you next month, kid!"

Motherfucker.

The door closed behind me again, the lock played its metal chime to notify me it was locked. Good. Nasty weed smell waved, hmm... This is gonna be fun.

"Done" and a slow exhale followed. "Join me" she said join me with the joint already lit.

"Yes, m'am"

​

[Lorn - Anvil playing in the background, on repeat. please, go ahead. i'll resume the story after you open a new browser tab with it.]

She explained the high of the pufferfish sting but who remembers the details. Another joint lit. The wavy light reflecting from the tank onto the pillows is calming as fuck. Nice combo with the weed. And the sex. I feel sleepy and I barely recognize the feeling. Floating feeling, warm. I could fuck the Universe right now. Pufferfish went zap, a floating blob. Floating, staring at me. Water waves, slowly reflecting the light. Pufferfish. Puffer. Fish. Puff.

Staring contest. Pufferfish staring contest. What a trip. Slowly floating, it's breathing reminds me of bubblegum. Like it's chewing bubblegum. Big bubble chewing bubblegum, woop. Float, weirdo, float.

"Hey, umm.. isn't the tank too close to the bed? What if I..."

Chew, pop. Jaws clenching. "Cab is here"

"We should move it, I..." hard to find word succession. Sentence. Sentences. Sent. Haha. Scentences. Scentlesss sentence... is this what news anchors do for practice? Along with chewing bubblegum, for jaw muscle practice. Hah.

The door closed with a sudden click. Was that real? Here fishy fishy. Tap. Tap. Tap.

I wonder if she has a boyfriend or not. Bad timing for the question, given the high, but I'll ride it out. Gently.

"Hmm smm sm-mm sm hamm!" Yelling from the other side of the wall. Or door. Can't understand, really... Could it be the boyfriend? Haha, ride it out, boy. But let's just in case ride on it a bit. What if. Probably going out on the fire escape, he'll see the window open, catch the hint, run back on the hallway and downstairs. I'll be one floor up, it's late already so probably a cold breeze to dissolve the numbness is welcome. I might go on the roof, actually. Yeah, it's a better place to run. Run. RUN!!

Glass shattered at the last floor window. Fucking shards, piercing like tens of papercuts on the shoulder, back, ass, FUCK ME!

"MOTHERFUCKER"

What the fuck was I thinking?! Run, boy!!! What the fuck was I thinking, fucking door, DOOR, yes, hallway

"I'LL GET YOUR ASS ON A PLATE, PETSHOPBOY!!"

Who was that, the boyfriend? Damn these boots are making too much sound screech scratch faster, damn it! Stairs. Skipping steps, yes, like kids, firm grasp on the railing, boy, fuck there's blood on my arm easy EASY not to slip and fast, please, fast, please, PLEASE! How is this fucking hallway so long? Are those footsteps I can't hear anything with this blood pumping in my ear, Christ!

End of the hallway. Just a doorless opening in the wall, used for disposing trash. Now what, idiot? "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Jump. Freefall.

Silence; or so it seems, at least. Wet, something's wet under my ass, what the fuck is wet under my ass, it's so dark uncontrollable puking fuck this FUCK okokok let's see FUCK what the fuck was that! Warm. Wet. Garbage juice, GOD. It hurts, ok, slow. There's the exit, okok.. Why am I so wet, I can't see shit, I hope I've pissed myself and it's not the juice. Blood. Could be, ok, I need some light. There, a few steps, okok, parking is on the other side of the door, the car YES the car, I see it. Keys, back pocket, good. Dim light fuck but I can see it's piss, and some blood. Nasty juice only on the shirt, get it off GET IT OFF man it hurts...

Doesn't matter where to, just drive. Keys, almost there, good, one step in front of the other, boy. Keys, here, good. The stench, damn, ok no one here. Keys, stop shivering. What was that, 2 floor fall? could have died there, fuck me. It's quiet here, let's just get in the car. Next carwash I'll stay on the car and we both take a shower, how nice. Fuck, it hurts.

​

Highway lights. Rhythmic. Speed. Pain. Shirt out the window, seatbelt back on. What the fuck happened, man. Really. It was supposed to be a quiet Saturday. I'm dizzy, maybe a stop to the hospital would help, fuck. Why am I dizzy? Cold. What's that cold feeling in the back of my he- *gun clicks*

"Hey, punk, talk to me about it" hesinthebackseatFUCKHOWTHEFUCK

"Listen, man, I had no idea, please" ohgodohgodohgod

"It won't hurt, just pull over and let's talk"

Pull Fucking Over, sure. If he shoots now we both.. seatbelt, there's no seatbelt in the back

Hard. Breaking. Screech. Something went over the shoulder, glass breaking, drift and spin. Lights. Quiet.

​

Doorbell.

The fuck?

Doorbell.

I can't move.

"Damn it kid, what's that fucking smell?"

"Sir, move over please, this is the police" the police? Doorbell. "Sir please open the door" hard knocking follows.

I can't move.

"I haven't seen him since last month" what. "I came over last week to collect the rent but he didn't respond so I thought he wasn't at home" what the fuck. "That song, it just plays on and on, maybe he forgot his PC on?" WHAT THE FUCK

I can't MOVE. I can see the ceiling but it's blurry. Left eye only?

"Sir if you do not respond we'll have to open the door by force"

Why can't I move? I can't feel anything... it's just... getting darker, there's something on my eye and it smells like rotten fish...

"Make room, please, we have to bring it down"

"Why does it smell like that? Is he dead?" dead? how can I be dead, you fucking moron.

"Paramedics are here, tear down the door" paramedics?

Bam. Bam. BAM. A sudden crash. "OH MY GOD" did he just puke? "What is that?" what is what? what the fuck is happening?!

"I think that was a fish tank, sir, holy fucking shit are those snails?"

"His torso is covered with them, let's just take them off what the actual fuck"

Wait, snails? SNAILS? Someone please what is happening!!

"He's not responding, sir, his eyes are gone, fuck, let's move fast" HOW THE FUCK ARE MY EYES GONE

"What is that DON'T TOUCH THAT"

"I can't get a pulse" oh god please oh god please "His face is almost gone, fuck me"

"Do not touch that, I think it's some kind of puffer fish on his neck, it's rotten god damn. It must have stung him when the tank broke. Look at his hand, he smashed the tank in his sleep or something, it's all cut up"

what... please...

"The snails... they are eating his flesh..."

"Sir, get out and you're puking all over the place, what the fuck"

"And somebody, please, stop that fucking music."

STOP WHAT MUSIC!?

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