#support her! so claire can't like cut her off. i hope this makes sense lots of things are connected lmao

[hsslilly-blog]

when she’s 13 claire gets an injury from going on pointe too early (at 9) and that’s when her father tells her mother claire is not doing ballet anymore

[get-lost-in-fanfiction]

LOST - Another Story

Rating: M

Word Count: 4.8k

A/N: Hello readers! I’m so sorry this installment took so long to write. I had a lot of things happen between the last chapter and now. I hope this makes up for it!

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All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues

I watch Jack as he turns to Hurley with a worried expression written all over his face. Jack stands up quickly, and looks over to me in a panic. I remove my pack and stride over to Hurley and Jack.

“He wasn't on the plane,” Hurley repeats, in a panic.

“Who wasn't on the plane?” Kate asks quickly, standing up with Jack.

“Ethan, the Canadian guy, he is not on the passenger manifest,” I say as calmly as I can. I figure calm is what people need right now.

“Well, where the hell is he?” Jack snaps at me and I hold my hands up defensively.

“I don't know,” Hurley says, ”Amelia and I saw him yesterday, but now…”

“Has anyone seen Ethan?!” Jack yells around in the caves, nobody speaks up.

“Sayid's leg,” Kate interjects, looking at Jack and then at me for support. I just shake my head,

“Has anyone seen Ethan?” Jack asks again, and Micheal comes running over.

“Yeah, yeah. He went to go get some wood. He took off on the path to the beach. Is he okay? What happened?” Micheal says.

“Where's Charlie?” Jack asks, man this guy likes asking questions.

“What?” Kate asks in response. I feel like I should have a shot every time someone asks a question.

“Where's Charlie?” Jack asks again and I can’t help but laugh to myself. Locke looks at me funnily as he walks over.

“He went after Claire,” Locke says.

Then, for some reason, I’m running with Locke and Jack through the jungle. We’re pushing branches away as we run, and I can feel myself getting small cuts on my arms and hands from running so fast. Damn I’ve been running a lot lately.

Suddenly Locke stops short and I run into him. I’m knocked to the ground and Locke helps me up as he shouts, “Jack!”

Locke and I creep closer to Claire’s bag which is just left on the jungle floor. Jack shows up behind me and says, “She was moving back to the beach. Claire. That's hers. What happened? What…”

“I don't know. Footprints. At least three distinct sets all over the place. It looks like there might have been a struggle,” Locke says.

“Ethan kidnapped Claire and Charlie. He’s really after Claire, but Charlie was just in the way,” I say as I catch my breath for the second time today. Locke looks around and then notices something.

“What? What is it?” Jack asks when Locke looks down at the ground.

“Drag marks. Here. And here,” Locke replies as he points to the jungle floor.

“Claire and Charlie,” I say, “I told you, they were together.”

“Claire!! Charlie! Claire!” Jack shouts

“Jack. Jack,” Locke calls and once Jack turns he puts his finger to his mouth, “Shhhh.”

Jack and I stand around helplessly as Locke wanders away. I know he must be following the tracks of Ethan, Charlie, and Claire but it’s still weird to feel like I’m doing nothing. I hear a noise and my head snaps over to a clearing between the branches. I see one of them is broken, and then I see Locke approaching. He motions us over and shows it to us.

“Tracks are still fresh,” Locke announces and Jack shakes his head.

“This doesn't make any sense. How can one man drag off two people, one of them pregnant?” Jack asks.

“You're asking the wrong question. Not how, why?” Locke replies.

“You think it was Ethan?” Jack suddenly turns to ask me.

“You forget, I know it was Ethan. The longer we wait the more danger both Charlie and Claire are in,” I say urgently, and with a bit of annoyance.

“But he was by himself. How?” Jack replies

“We can't account for all of our people,” Locke cuts in, “And, more importantly, who's to say they're even our people?”

“What?” Jack asks and I roll my eyes.

“Sayid said there were others,” Locke tells Jack.

“Sayid said we're not alone,” I clarify, feeling annoyed by this interaction. I was annoyed watching the show too, and being here makes it worse.

“Semantics,” Locke says to me.

“Sayid's injured. We're not even sure where he went. He's delirious,” Jack says, and I know he doesn’t believe there’s other people on this Island. Man of Science.

“I'm just telling you what the ground is telling me,” Locke replies. Man of Faith.

“So which way is the ground telling you that they went?” I snap, already tired of the two men measuring.

“Amelia, we don't know what's going on here,” Locke says to me.

I huff, “How do neither of you believe me?? I know what is fucking happening and you two are squabbling like a married couple!”

“We need to prepare,” Locke says slowly to me, “We could be back at the caves in 10 minutes, organize a search party, get wea-“

“Which way did they go, Locke?” I ask with my arms crossed over my chest. Locke points the way with his knife. Suddenly Jack takes off running in the direction he points to. I call for Jack but I know it’s pointless. Locke and I decide to return to the caves.

Locke and I arrive at the caves, him looking just fine and me a sweaty mess. Kate intercepts us as Locke is putting his knife case away. Kate has a towel slung over her shoulder, and her hair is wet. Anyone can deduce what she is doing at the caves.

“You let him go alone?” Kate asks as she slings her gray backpack over the same shoulder the towel is on.

“Don't worry. I'll catch up. What's the word from the beach?” Locke asks and I’m guessing he means about Ethan.

“Nothing. Nobody has seen him,” Kate replies. I sigh. It seems the Man of Faith isn’t very faithful in me.

Locke gives Kate a knife, “I'm coming with you,” she says.

“I figured you might,” Locke replies, gesturing to the knife.

Suddenly I hear Shannon’s voice, and I look over to see Boone walking toward Locke, Kate, and I. “What are you doing? We need to get our water and get back to the beach…” Shannon says but trails off when Boone reaches us.

“I heard you're forming a search party,” Boone says to Locke, “Can I help?” He looks at me hopefully as he asks and I look away towards Shannon who is now with us.

“This is a deserted Island. There's no choppers, no Amber Alerts. How exactly are you going to find them?” She asks Locke in particular.

“By following Ethan's trail,” Locke explains in a matter-of-fact way, “No one can walk through the wilderness without leaving signs, bending blades of grass, breaking twigs, especially with captives in tow. And yes, I could use another hand if you're up for it.”

“I'm up for it,” Boone says, and he smiles at me.

Locke hands him a knife, “Then let's get moving.”

“I could take Vincent,” I hear Walt’s voice say, “and he could sniff something that belonged to Charlie. And I can help.”

“I said no, man,” Micheal replies and then turns to Locke. We all stop, “Hey, Locke. Hey, look, you know, a lot of us don't just want to sit here waiting for news.”

“Thanks, but we're set. Anyone else will just slow us down,” Locke says kindly not-so kindly.

“Okay. Maybe I'll just put together another party,” Micheal suggests slowly.

“Good idea,” Locke replies, “We're going north. I suggest you go south.”

Walt looks up at his dad while Michael looks embarrassed. He then looks down at Walt, “Come on,” he says.

After a long time of walking, our party finally finds Jack in the grassy clearing where he was running around in circles.

“Jack. Jack. It's a good thing you were going in a circle. Not much of a search grid, but we never would have found you otherwise,” Locke says a little dismissively. Man Locke is kind of an underhanded jerk.

“Did you find anything?” Kate asks Jack and Jack turns to her.

“No,” he answers simply.

“Doesn’t anyone remember I know what’s going on?” I ask into the void, and I get no response. I should’ve just stayed at the caves and listened to Micheals bitching.

“You should go back to the caves,” Locke says to Jack, “Sayid's leg,”

“I dressed Sayid's leg. You found me, we can find Charlie and Claire. Now, do we have a trail to follow or not?” Jack spits ar Locke.

“Jack, this was my fault.”

“What?”

“I hunted with Ethan. I spent time with him. I never sensed anything -- off. But for everything that I know about hunting, tracking -- whoever he is, he knows more. If we catch up with him, I don't want anything to happen to the only trained physician on the Island. So go back, be the doctor. Let me be the hunter.”

“Can we go now?” Jack asks and I can tell he’s tired of the bullshit. I am too.

“Follow me,” Locke replies.

After a while of walking, trail-following, and sweating we finally take a break in another overgrown area of the jungle. Locke takes out a red shirt, and begins ripping fabric with his teeth.

“We mark our progress by line of sight. We tie these off so we don't get lost,” Locke says to Boone and I.

“You can lead us back to camp, right?” Boone asks worriedly, looking to me for comfort. I don’t give any.

“If nothing happens to me,” Locke replies with a shadow of a smile.

“Maybe I better take marker detail,” Boone suggests. Locke smiles a bit more and Jack and Kate run up.

“Anything?” Jack asks.

“Not yet,” Locke replies.

“If you can't find the trail…” Jack says menacingly

“He’ll pick it up again, alright? We need to rest for a minute to get our clarity back,” I tell Jack, trying to save Locke from the heat.

“You're going to take a break?” Jack asks Locke angrily, well that didn’t work, “It's got to be almost 4 o'clock. When the sun sets there's no way…”

“It's 4:25. And, yes, I'm taking a break,” Locke replies, jumping in before I can and giving me a stern look.

“Can I talk to you for a sec?” Kate asks Jack and they walk away out of ear shot. I sigh and sit down on the ground next to the tree.

“What’s the matter with him?” Boone asks me as he sits down next to me, jerking his chin in the direction of Jack and Kate.

“Jack is feeling guilty he didn’t believe Claire,” I reply slowly. I watch as Locke gets up out of the corner of my eye.

“He’s got a bit of a savior complex doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, he really does.”

Then I hear Locke yelling, “Jack!” So then Jack, Kate, Boone and I rush over to where Locke is kneeling on the ground holding something.

“What is it?” Kate asks once we arrive at Locke.

“Look familiar?” Locke says and we all look down to see Charlie’s finger “L”.

“It's Charlie's,” Jack says obviously.

“You think it just came off?” Boone asks Locke, looking for me to back up his statement. I just shake my head,

“No. He's leaving us a trail,” Jack tells Boone and Locke nods.

So we decide to keep moving, looking around for another one of Charlie’s finger wrappings. I’m really starting to get bored of this, and I’m regretting coming on this search mission. Neither Jack nor Locke are paying attention to any of the information I have. I would’ve thought they’d believe me and listen to me on this, but I was sorely mistaken. We stay silent as we walk, but once we get into a really jungley area Jack looks around and finally speaks up.

“They went this way,” Jack says, pointing in one direction.

“I'm not so sure. There's another trail here,” Locke replies, gesturing to another direction.

“What do you mean, another?” Jack asks angrily.

“These are footprints. People moved off this way,” Locke replies calmly and I can’t help but roll my eyes.

“Charlie's leaving these for us to follow,” Jack says gesturing to the finger tapes, “They went that way.”

“Unless Charlie isn't the one leaving them,” I speak up, stealing Kate’s line and not even looking at her. “If Ethan knows that we're behind him, he could be setting up a dummy trail. Take off in one direction, double-back his own footprints.”

“Wait? Now you're a tracker?” Boone asks me incredulously, and with a bit of awe.

“You're just full of surprises,” Locke says to me with a hint of sarcasm.

“So, we've got two trails. Let's split up, I'll take that one,” Jack says as he points to the trail he was first talking about.

“No. We should stay together, Jack,” Locke says.

“Why? We've got two trails, and, apparently, two trackers,” Jack replies, looking at me.

“Actually, no thanks. I’m sick of being on this mission. You two haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, only when it’s benefited you,” I snap at Jack. I turn on my heel and march away from the group. I hear Boone calling for me half heartedly, but I know he doesn’t really mean it. I walk quickly to where the caves are and hope I don’t get lost.

I’m extremely sweaty before I hear any sound that I recognize. I push my damp hair away from my forehead, and smile when I hear a familiar voice. I turn a corner and I see Sawyer and Walt talking.

“Took them why? And who the hell is Ethan?” Sawyer says, knelt down on the ground looking up at Walt.

“I don't know-” Walt begins to say, but I cut him off.

“He wasn't on the manifest,” I say with a smile as Sawyee rises from the ground and gives me a roguish smile.

“Hey blue eyes, long time no see,” He says before turning back to Walt, “Ever think he might have lied about his name?”

“It's stupid to lie about your name,” Walt says and I can’t help but stifle a laughter at the look on Sawyer’s face.

“Alrighty, Tattoo, where do you think Ethan came from?” Sawyer asks Walt while he looks warningly at me.

“Maybe he was already on the Island, before we were,” Walt suggests and Sawyer looks past him once again to raise an eyebrow at me. I just shrug.

“You got yourself one hell of an imagination, kid,” Sawyer says dismissively, eyeing me with a look that says ‘we’ll talk.’

“There could be lots of other people on the Island,” Walt suggests again and Sawyer just laughs. He swings his pack over his shoulder and stands up again.

“So a tribe of evil natives planted a ringer in the camp to kidnap a pregnant girl and a reject from VH-1 has-beens? Yeah, fiendishly clever. And why am I getting the evening news from a 6 year old?” Sawyer asks sarcastically and I can’t help but smile again at how accurate his statement is. Sawyer doesn’t look at me this time.

“I'm 10,” Walt replies

“Okay, then it must be true,” Sawyer says, keeping the sarcastic tone in his voice clear.

“If you don't believe me, ask Sayid. He said we're not alone,” Walt says stoically and Sawyer’s face drops.

“Sayid's back?” Sawyer asks, and Walt looks triumphant and walks away leaving Sawyer bewildered and me looking smug. I cross my arms and hover a hand over my mouth to conceal a smile. Sawyer turns slowly to me.

“So how much of that is accurate, Zoltar?” Sawyer asks me and I lower my hand.

“Just about all of it,” I reply with no joking tone.

“Thought so,” Sawyer says darkly and I stand there awkwardly with my hands hanging at my sides.

Sawyer speaks up again, “I thought you were on that little rescue mission? What happened with that, Metro get too handsy?”

“No, Jack and Locke weren’t listening to me when I had valuable information. Then I guess Jack only really noticed I was there when I backed him up, the jackass,” I say angrily as I cross my arms.

“Seems you an’ me are in the same boat now,” Sawyer says smugly.

I can’t help but smile and shake my head fondly, “James, we were always in the same boat.”

“Well, Amelia, maybe now you can stop rowing and appreciate the water,” Sawyer flirts as he raises his arms a little and I just laugh at him.

“Let’s go to the caves Sawyer,” I say as I walk up to him. I slip my arm around his lower back and he does the same to me around my shoulders. We walk like that in silence until we get to the caves.

Sawyer breaks away from me and approaches Sayid as he’s sleeping. I follow not far behind, making sure Sawyer isn’t going to do anything drastic. I rest a tentative hand on Sawyer’s shoulder as Sayid wakes up.

“Well, well, well. I don't know if you Islams got a concept of karma, but I get the sense this Island just served you up a heaping platter of cosmic payback,” Sawyer says smugly to Sayid and I roll my eyes at him.

“What do you want?” Sayid asks.

“Doesn’t mayer why I’m here,” Sawyer snaps and grabs a straight-edge from the "table.” I realize I need to take antibiotics for my arm and I rush over to Jack’s supplies to do it. “You know, a less magnanimous man than I might just be thinking he could beat the ever-living-snot out of you right now without fear of reprisal.”

“You want to take a shot? Take it. But know that I left this camp out of shame for what I did to you and Amelia. It was never my intention to return,” Sayid replies, and I can only just make out what he’s saying. Oh god I forgot about this part, and now I’m added to it. I swallow the meds quickly and rush back over.

“Sorry, fresh out of sweet forgiveness,” Sawyer replies and looks at me when I arrive at his side again, ”If it wasn't your intention to return, then why did you?”

“I was taken prisoner by the French woman,” Sayid says and darts his eyes from Saywer’s to mine.

“The one who's been sending out a distress signal for 16 years? She's alive?” Sawyer asks, glancing at me for confirmation.

“She was on a science expedition,” I say flatly, “Their ship was wrecked.” Sayid nods in confirmation and I realize he is on my side.

“She alone?” Sawyer asks Sayid again.

“She said that there are others on this Island,” Sayid answers this time.

“Her people?” The tone in Sawyer's voice as he asks the questions have become increasingly worried. Like he didn’t fully believe me when I told him who I was.

“She believed they had all gotten sick. She murdered her entire team,” I murmur and once again Sayid nods in confirmation.

“Righttt,” Sawyer drawls, “And these others, who the hell are they?”

“I don't know. She's never seen them,” Sayid replies.

“Oh, she's never seen them, but she knows they're there,” Sawyer says sarcastically and I rest my hand on him again.

“Sawyer, you don’t know what she’s been through,” I say calmly.

“And you do!?!” Sawyer asks me incredulously and a tad angrily.

“Yes I do actually! You people always seem to forget, I know everything! You have no fucking clue how hard it is to have that kind of knowledge and not be able to do anything about it!” I’m yelling by the end of my words, and the caves have gone scarily silent. I look around at everyone, and everyone looks back at me like they’re terrified. I feel tears prick at my eyes and I stride out of the caves and sit on a log near the entrance. I can still hear Sawyer and Sayid’s conversation.

“I believe her,” Sayid says, and I can’t tell if he’s talking about me or Rousseau, “If you believe her.”

“Why should I trust some kid?” Sawyer snaps at Sayid, ouch that one hurt.

“By the way you two were acting, I would have thought…” Sayid offers, but trails off before finishing his thought. Sawyer pauses for a long time, and I wonder if he’s walking out.

“Doesn’t matter what I think or the way I’ve been actin,” Sawyer replies angrily, “What about that french chick, do you believe what she says?”

“Maybe. Maybe not. But on my way back I heard something in the jungle surrounding me,” Sayid replies.

“Something like what?” Sawyer asks with malice full in his voice.

“Have you got something to say to me, Sawyer, or are you going to continue asking me questions you know I don't have the answers to?” Sayid asks Sawyer in return, but then I hear the crunching of feet and I know Sawyer is leaving.

“Tide's coming up the beach. Plane hull's almost in the water. Kept your signal fire burning,” Sawyer says simply, and then turns the corner to see me sitting on a log with tear tracks on my cheeks.

“Um, hey Sawyer..” I mumble and look down to my feet.

“Y’know, I’ve never met a girl like you before blue eyes,” Sawyer says calmly and I look up to see him admiring me, “You’ve got me stumped.” Then he walks away, so I scramble to follow him.

“Sawyer?” I call, but he just keeps walking, so I continue following, “Sawyer please come back, what did you mean?”

Sawyer finally stops and turns to me, “I can’t seem to figure out what you’re born to do.”

That stuns me, and I open and close my mouth like an idiot trying to comprehend what he just said. He speaks regardless, “You’re not like Kate, she’s born to run. I’m born to con. Doc is born to fix. But what are you born to do?”

“James I don’t understand, I’m not born to do anything. I don’t even know why I’m here, I don’t even know if I’m important-” Sawyer interrupts me.

“Of course you’re important-” I interrupt him back.

“That’s not what I meant, there’s something bigger going on here, bigger than what’s going on in the Island. You know I know what’s going to happen, and I’ve been trying to figure out why the hell I’m even here,” I finish speaking and I realize I’ve been speaking all in the same breath. I look down at my hands and realize they’re shaking, “Nothing seems to be different, so I must not last here..”

Then Sawyer does something I never thought Season One Sawyer would do, he hugs me. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me tight to his chest. I feel myself trembling in his arms, so he tucks my head under his chin. We stand there like that for a while, I don’t even know for how long. When he does finally release me, I realize I’ve been crying. He looks down at me and takes my hand.

“Let’s go back to the beach, alright?” Sawyer tells me.

“Alright..” I reply in the smallest voice I’ve ever made.

We make it back to the beach, and to my disappointment Sawyer drops my hand. I guess he doesn’t want us to be seen, it’s not like we’re together anyways. We walk back to our tents, and Sawyer pushes me on the small of my back to his tent. We sit down and Sawyer searches my face.

“Where’d you go anyways?” Sawyer asks me finally.

“The caves, obviously, Claire and Charlie were taken by Ethan and so I went on the search party to find them,” I reply and then sigh deeply, “To be honest I feel sort of guilty I left. I know it’s going to turn out fine but I know things that would’ve helped.”

“But the Doc and Mr. Clean weren’t listenin to you anyways, so what’s the point I say,” Sawyer replies as he leans back in his chair.

“I suppose. It’s just like I said, it feels like I have to be involved in anything and everything to shake off the guilty conscience I have for just knowing things,” I say back and look past Sawyer and out into the ocean. The sun is beginning to set and I know it’s going to rain soon.

“Well I say that if the Doc doesn’t want you around, the he doesn’t get to have you,” Sawyer replies almost possessively and I have to repress a smile at the tone of his voice.

“Yeah I guess you’re right,” I say and then the sky opens up and the rain starts to come down. At this time I know Locke and Boone have been following the wrong trail, and Kate and Jack have been following the right one. I know that Jack is going to run and slip off a hill when he thinks he hears Claire scream. I know that at the bottom of the hill, Jack will find Ethan. Ethan is going to warn Jack to stop following him, or he’ll kill one of them. Jack decides to fight back, so Ethan knocks him out.

“Blue eyes, blue eyes, hey?” Sawyer says and I look over to him quickly. He sounds like he was trying to get my attention for a while. “You okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine, just thinking about what’s happening in the jungle with the rain,” I say, still lost in thought. A few minutes later the rain stops. I know that Kate is going to find Jack awake and they’re going to start running. Then.. shit!

“Shit!” I yell, and I scramble to my feet, “Ah shit shit I gotta get into the jungle to help I-”

“Whoa whoa blue eyes slow down, help who?” Sawyer asks, grabbing my arm to make sure I don’t run off.

“Jack and Kate are going to find Charlie hanging from and tree and Jack is going to tru to revive him but it’s not working and Kate tries to tell him to stop but Jack doesn’t because he has fo fix everything and eventually Charlie regains consciousness but what if it doesn’t work because I’m here I have to help!” I say quickly and in all one breath. I’m panting by the end of my words and Sawyer is looking at me worriedly.

“Amelia you’ll never find them out there, they could be anywhere,” Sawyer replies trying to calm me down.

“James I have to try-!” I say and I try and yank out of Sawyer’s grasp. It doesnt work and I end up falling in the sand. Thankfully it wasn’t my hurt arm Sawyer grabbed, but I landed on my hurt one anyway. I groan in pain, and mentally smack myself for my foolishness.

Sawyer helps me up slowly and I check my arm to see if I’m bleeding. Thankfully I’m not, so I look back up at Sawyer. He starts to speak, “I think I’ve figured it out.”

“Figured what out?” I ask, wincing as I rub my arm.

“You’re born to make amends,” Sawyer replies simply and I can’t help but laugh at him. Yet I realize he’s being completely serious.

“What do you mean, you’re not serious James?” I reply with a bit of a joking tone.

“Ever since you got here you’ve been trying to help. You talk about guilt, and I can see it clear as day on your face most times. You’re trying to make up for something, what is it?”

“I- I don’t know,” I say as I turn away from Sawyer, “Can you take me back to the caves?”

“It’s going to be dark soon, it’s not safe,” Sawyer tells me.

“Since when did you ever care about safety?” I ask incredulously, whipping back around to face him.

“Since you started actin all crazy, just like this! You can go in the morning, for now just stay put,” Sawyer snaps back at me and then sits down in his chair and picks up a book.

I realize he’s right, the more time goes on the more irrationally I’m acting. I’m going to get myself killed and then it won’t matter if I’m important or not. There’s a long road ahead, and if I want to survive I have to use my knowledge and not let it get to me. I take one last look at Sawyer, who hasn’t looked back up at me, and then make my way back to my tent. I lay on my back, listening to the waves, and slowly fall asleep to awful images of Claire and Charlie dead.

LOST

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