#supergiant however. are not cowards. so i trust them to do something with him

[raethedragon]

look, i would KILL for a supergiant games space fantasy (and i still hold out the hope that one day they will make one, i care not for the specifics of story or actual game design, only pretty star imagery), but hades II looks amazing AND has pretty moon imagery, so it’s close enough to satisfy my gremlin brain for now

bisexuals stay winning

[blatherkatt]

Title: The Calm Is Terrifying When The Storm Is All You Know [Homestuck]

Chapter 14: Juxtaposition 

Summary: There were two kinds of trolls who went to Earth: rich shitheads with too much money and free time, and desperate assholes who couldn’t survive on Alternia, even with the best efforts of the young Condesce. Karkat hated the planet almost immediately, but with his home planet too dangerous for mutants, he really didn’t have any choice but to hide out on this weird little diurnal planet. At least he’d be safe. Or so he thought, right before blundering his way into an accidental friendship with the son of an anti-troll terrorist.

Rating: M

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of abuse and neglect, mentions of terrorist activities, one moment that looks like a tense shift from third to second but i promise isn’t trust me im doing a thing, portrayal of what is either a panic attack or the prelude to one; Illustrated

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Terezi sniffed over the color-coded notes spread across her table, chewing ruefully at the spoonful of cereal in her mouth and scowling as if it would somehow make the evidence before her make more sense. She could hear Pyralspite happily shredding a toy somewhere else in her apartment, but she ignored the sound for now, too fixated on the work in front of her.

Anticipation and nerves were cutting into her sleep, at this point; she was turning into a workaholic over this mess. She couldn’t help it, though; it had been over two damn months, and Strider hadn’t done anything in response to the rescue of his son yet.

Granted, she had no real precedent to work off of to know how exactly he would react to a loss of this magnitude. In the time he’d been leading these terrorist activities, he’d never actually had any incidents which he could be described as having lost. He always swept in and seemingly accomplished his goals with alarming, brutal efficiency, leaving multiple civilian casualties and rarely leaving enough of a trace for him to be followed. Only a couple of his men were ever captured, and they had both refused to talk.

She did, however, have eyewitness accounts showing that during the invasion, he’d reacted to his brother’s death with what could only be described as cold, calculated fury. He’d gone from a fighter who was harsh, but allowed enemy survivors of engagements to crawl away and lick their wounds, and who had even on several occasions temporarily taken prisoners (usually to have the captured troll send a message of warning back to their commander) to someone utterly ruthless. In the final two years of the invasion, there’d been almost no Alternian survivors of fights involving Derek Strider. She’d therefore been expecting a harsh retaliation in response to Dave’s rescue, but so far, nothing had really changed. There’d been a few small strikes, sure, but nothing big, and certainly nothing that could be considered a direct response.

The best case scenario here, and the one that Terezi’s superiors seemed to believe, was that the man cared so little about his own son that he wasn’t bothered at all by his loss, but Terezi doubted that was the case. Whether he cared for the boy or not was not the real important information, here. What was important was the fact that Strider had lost. A man as fiercely proud as Derek Strider would not take his son’s arrest laying down. But he’d given absolutely no indication of what he’d been planning, and all reports she got from New York indicated that things there had been perfectly quiet.  

It didn’t add up. Not one bit, and Terezi didn’t like it at all.

She dumped her spoon halfheartedly into her bowl, and leaned her weight on her folded arms, drumming her fingers against the table.

“What are you planning, Strider?”

The more time ticked on in days and weeks, the more antsy Dave could feel himself getting. It was fine, everything would be fine, he just had to get through a little bit more of being here without getting too used to it, and then he’d be going back to Texas and everything could go back to normal. Just ignore that voice that kept whispering about how he maybe didn’t actually want to leave; it was bad enough he was too much of a coward to try and get back on his own, he couldn’t go and add on being selfish on top of that. The sooner he left, the better off everyone would be. Maybe some people’d be sad, but it’d be for the best. Karkat could get moved somewhere safer, and be left alone for good, and no one else’d have to deal with Dave’s fuckin’ bullshit.

Still, it was…hard not to want to hang around, a little bit. He’d apparently done pretty good of a job at not fucking anything up, and no one had made him fight or tried to hit him yet, and the initial fear he’d had that it was building up to be something awful had started to fade. That might’ve also just been because it was getting closer to time for him to leave, though, he supposed.

Not to mention that’d all change in a fuckin’ heartbeat if he were to tell them the truth. He’d be in so much fuckin’ trouble if they knew. Better to just go along with things.

Late in the evening of the eleventh of June, Rose tapped on Dave’s door.

“Sup?” Dave said, moving the chair and swinging the door open.

“I’m planning on doing a bit of stargazing tonight with the trolls in the observatory,” said Rose. “It’s fine if you don’t want to come, but I wanted to at least make sure you know you’re invited.”

“…We have an observatory?” said Dave.

Rose shrugged. “I don’t know the full details of why, something about Mother receiving this house as a gift from some affluent fellow, but it’s attached to the house and therefore you’re allowed in it. Didn’t you see it in your little misadventure on the roof?”

“I mean, I saw some bigass telescope, yeah, but I didn’t really think anything of it at the time, on account of your cat beating the shit outta my arms.”

“Fair enough,” Rose shrugged. “In any case, the invitation stands.”

“Uh…yeah, sure, why not,” said Dave. He might as well spend a bit more time hanging out, since it’d be about the last chance he got to do so. Maybe then he’d feel a bit less nervous about what was to come. That, and it might soften the blow for the others. Give everyone one last good night before…

Rose blinked. “Wait, really?” she said.

“Yeah,” he said. “I got nothin’ better to do, and it’s — uh, you know.”

He could’ve hit himself for that. Shit, he couldn’t just fuckin’ tell her it was his last night here.  Couldn’t let his fuckin’ nerves show, either. C’mon, Dave, it’s just a fun night lookin’ at stars and shit, he could handle this. Especially with how much his agreeing to it seemed to make Rose all kinds of fuckin’ happy; the slow smile that spread across her face made him all the more sure this was the right decision.

“I’ll show you the way, then,” she said, “Come on. The trolls are already there, I think.”

The observatory turned out to be accessed by an unwalled walkway, which was all kinds of weird and made Dave think maybe this was actually maybe possibly breaking his house arrest a little, but it was Rose’s idea, and it should be fine, right? And it wasn’t like he was gonna be getting into trouble for it now.

It wasn’t a fuckin’ huge observatory, or anything; pretty much just a round room with a big fuckin’ telescope. Right now, there was also one of those big camping-style lanterns set up in the center of the room, with a thick looking tome set next to it, and four sleeping bags set up around it. Proper fuckin’ sleepover, then. Damn. The trolls were seated on top of the sleeping bags, Kanaya looking excited if slightly bewildered, and Karkat just looking like his usual grumpy self. Rose pressed a button on the wall, and the fuckin’ roof slid right open, showing off a sky still a bit pink with sunset and yet already full of more stars than Dave had ever seen in his entire life.

“Holy shit,” he breathed, pushing his shades up into his hair for a better look.

“Bit of a better view than down in Texas, isn’t it?” said Rose, smug.

“I mean, maybe out in the cornfields somewhere I coulda seen somethin’ like this, but we were in towns and cities the whole time, so…Jesus fuck, there’s so many.” He took his shades off altogether, setting them down on the floor as he slumped down on the sleeping bag next to Karkat and opposite Kanaya.

“I don’t recognize any of them,” Karkat said, uncharacteristically quietly. “I never even paid that close attention to the stars back on Alternia, but I knew a few constellations, and these look completely different.” Kanaya rested a hand on his shoulder, and Dave nudged his arm with his elbow. Rose sat across from Karkat, picking up the thick book resting on the ground in front of her.

“Yes, well,” said Rose, “Hopefully, by the end of the night, I’ll have found at least one familiar star for you. But that won’t be visible for another hour or two, I’m afraid, so in the meantime…”

She launched off into what sounded like a fucking practiced spiel about some of the constellations already out, and holy fuck, the girl must’ve done her research. Every one, she had some trivia about the stars, oh look that pink one’s not actually a star its a whole fuckin’ nebula full of them, that one’s a fuckin’ supergiant, so on and so on; and beyond that she of course knew every fuckin’ old legend about them. Most of them involved Zeus being a jackass and wanting to get his dick wet, which amused Dave to no end, right up until he commented as such and Rose immediately pointed out that he would be the one to make it about dicks.

Dave insulted her right back, shifting into Spanish for what he thought was a really fuckin’ funny bilingual joke, and that ended up leading into explaining to the trolls how many fuckin’ languages Earth had, which they found to be really goddamn wild; apparently Alternia only had about three languages, and only one that people really used, with the other two slowly going extinct, and the idea that humans had as many fuckin’ languages as they did was super bizarre to them. Then Rose made a joke about how Dave could translate soap operas for Karkat, and that shut that conversation up right then and there.  

(“I’m surprised you still remember any Spanish, though,” Rose had said. “I didn’t think our father knew any.”

“Oh, yeah, and it was so hard to find someone to practice with in fuckin’ Texas, Rose,” Dave shot back. “Fuckin’ grew up surrounded by a bunch of god damn white guys, Sis, someone had to fuckin’ translate for ‘em. My Spanish is just fuckin’ fine, don’t worry.”)

A couple hours in, and Rose paused. “Alright, that’s enough time to have passed, it should be up by now…Ah, there he is! Cygnus, right there, see?” She reached out and pointed at a very bright star. “That’s Deneb, his tail, and down below we can trace along his neck, and to the sides, his wings.”

“That’s a fuckin’ cross, Sis,” said Dave.

“To the Greeks, he was a great swan,” she said. “There’s many legends about Cygnus the swan, and there’s been little in the way of historians agreeing on which one inspired the name of the constellation. One involves the son of one of the gods losing control of Helios’s chariot, there is of course your cursory ‘and then along came Zeus’ storyline which, as Dave so brightly noted, is so very common in Greek myth…but in this case, the legends are not why I wanted to draw your attention to this particular set of stars.”

“Oh, yeah?” said Karkat, resting his cheek in one hand.

“You see,” said Rose, grinning as she pointed again, “Unless Google has lied to me, that star right there, beneath Cygnus’s wing, is the Alternian solar system.” Karkat immediately perked up and followed her finger, eyes wide. “There’s a lot of star systems with planets within the swan, it seems, and your home planet is one of them. There’s also apparently a binary system of a supergiant and a black hole, which is intriguing, but I felt that being able to pick out Alternia in our night sky might be of more interest to you two.”

“That’s it?” said Karkat. “That’s…that’s home, then?”

“I believe so,  yes,” said Rose.

“It’s so small,” he said, his ears drooping a little. Rose sighed and frowned.

“I was…hoping that pointing it out to you might alleviate some of your, er, homesickness, but it seems I’ve only drawn attention to the distance instead. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s…I mean, yeah, it fucking hurts that it’s so far away,” Karkat grumbled, “But it’s…comforting to know it’s still there.” Dave saw him rub at his eyes, wiping away what might’ve been the hint of a tear. He remembered  that conversation he’d had with Karkat a while back, about the whole ‘it sucked but its home’ thing, and nudged Karkat’s arm with his elbow again in what he hoped was a sympathetic-ish gesture. Poor bastard, he didn’t even have the reassurance of being able to go back someday. (Which…admittedly, Dave found less and less reassuring, but…No, not now, couldn’t let that train of thought keep going.)

Rose smiled softly. “Cygnus, and therefore your home, should be visible through December, if you’d like to keep looking for him at night.”

Kanaya was fucking beaming at the sight of Rose and Karkat getting along for one goddamn minute, and Dave despite himself, couldn’t help but feel similarly happy. It was…weird. Peaceful? Yeah, that was the word for it. Peaceful as fuck.

Midnight was edging closer, and Kanaya and Rose had both long since drifted off. Even Karkat had fuckin’ dozed off, his head buried in his arms on top of Rose’s star book, which was unexpected as all hell. Things had to be hells of fuckin’ idyllic if even Karkat “Insomnia” Vantas was taking the train to snoozeville.

Dave was, to his own very contented surprise, pretty happy he’d gone along with this. He felt the most peaceful he could ever remember being. There was a lingering worry in the back of his mind, as always, that something bad would happen, some surprise attack or something, but it was, like, a really quiet worry, quiet enough that Rose’s really light snoring was enough to drown that shit right out.

Yeah, he’d made the right call going along with this —

It was certainly a real nice way to end his time here. One last bit of time to not be stressed before getting back to the ole’ grindstone, back to getting fuckin’ ambushed for the great crime of having to take a goddamned piss, back to getting his ass beat for accidentally putting one foot out of line, back to not getting so much as a smile, nevermind Mom’s hugs or this weird cuddly shit that was almost happening right now. Yep. Great vacation.

Shit.

What a fucking pain in the ass this whole getting-brought-home mess has been, huh? Nothing but getting people loving you and trying to make you feel welcome, just a whole lot of niceness and gentleness and all the shit you fucking spent your whole life wishing you had but never believed was an actual possibility. What a drag, right? Thank fuck it’s time to go back to your REAL home, huh?

That…no, he….

And what about Karkat? He’s gonna be fucking heartbroken if you leave after all those heart-to-heart chats and shit, just because you won’t be around to see it doesn’t mean it won’t be true. Rose’ll be upset, too, and fuck, poor Mom’s probably gonna hit the booze even harder! Such a fuckin’ shame, but it’s all for the best, right?

“Fuck,” Dave muttered. How the fuck was he supposed to leave now? This was — he couldn’t, but —

Stay.

He couldn’t —

Stay.

He had to —

He couldn’t leave. He — but if he told anyone, he’d get in so much fucking trouble, he’d get crucified for this. But if he didn’t tell them, and just tried to stay anyway, people were gonna get hurt — fuck, what was he supposed to do?!

Dirk sat back from his computer and tilted his head. Something was happening upstairs, it sounded like.  Someone was pacing back and forth, maybe? Why else would the creaking he could hear slightly be so consistent? It was getting louder, too; at first he’d barely noticed it, but now it was hard to miss.

He saved his current drawing and went upstairs to check. He’d been expecting Karkat, the most heavy walker of those currently at the house and the one who seemed most likely to do something like pacing in the middle of the night, or maybe Mom, who sometimes did so while she was thinking (and sober - an unlikely combination, sure, but Dirk was allowed to be hopeful).  He was not expecting it to be Dave. Not with how quietly Dave usually moved. But, there he was, pacing back and forth in the kitchen with increasing speed, occasionally rubbing at his arms or running a hand through his hair, almost trying to pull it out. Dave’s breathing sounded fast and erratic, and was interspersed with the occasional soft, fearful moan.

Dirk started toward him, paused, and took a few steps back into the shadows. He stepped forward again, this time purposefully walking with heavy steps, and was rewarded by the sight of Dave jerking to look up at him.

“Fuck, Dirk, I can, I—“ Dave’s breathing sped up even faster.

“Dave, easy, you’re not in trouble,” Dirk said, holding his hands up and trying to keep his voice gentle. “I need you to take deep breaths, okay? You sound like you’re gonna have a panic attack.”

“I — I,” said Dave, and then took a really hard, shaky breath. Dirk rested a hand gently on Dave’s shoulder. Dave wasn’t wearing his shades, surprisingly, and his eyes were wide, darting around rapidly.

“It’s alright,” Dirk said. “Just breathe.” It took several more shuddery breaths for Dave to at least sound like he wasn’t gonna pass out, but Dirk could still feel Dave shaking underneath his hand. “Better?” he asked.

Dave shrugged.

“Okay, why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?” Dirk said. “What’s got you so worked up? Maybe I can help.”

“I, I can’t,” Dave said, and forced himself to take another breath (this time it sounded painful, like he was trying to breathe through a windpipe full of gravel), “I can’t leave, I don’t, I can’t go back, Dirk, I don’t wanna leave, please.”

Dirk raised an eyebrow. “Uh, you’re…not leaving,” he said. “This was never going to be a temporary thing, Dave. This is your home. You’re not going anywhere, I promise. The old man’s never gonna lay a hand on you ever again, okay? You’re safe.”

“No, no no no, no, I’m — he’s, they’re gonna be here, and, and I’m — fuck,” Dave wheezed, shaking his head. Dirk’s eyebrows knitted into a concerned line. A slow dread built up in the pit of his stomach.

“…Dave,” he said, “What’s going on?”

Dave swallowed, and locked his terrified eyes with Dirk’s.

“I m-messed up,” he said.