#suntukan sa ace hardware

[comrademango]

didn't realize this has a fucking wiki page lmao

[useless-philippinesfacts-archive]

Fact #130

Yes, a “Suntukan sa Ace Hardware” Wikipedia article exists

[dinosaurtsukki]

LUH SUNTUKAN SA ACE HARDWARE STORE CLASSROOM WITH YAMAGUCHI TADASHI GRABE YON ALSO SANA ALL MAY GLOW-UP TULAD NI Y/N 

HAIKYUU BOYS AS LEADING MEN ON CLICHÉ WATTPAD PLOTS (Filo)

-> DON'T JUDGE 😭 I had a convo with my bestfriend, it's too good to miss.

-> characters. Tsukishima Kei

-> warning. VERY LONG. sadly, this is mostly haikyuu x f!y/n kasi 'yun norm ng filo Wattpad before. YamaTsukki (for the sake of plot lang po sorri), exposure of the other Karasuno 1st years

-> dedicated to. [ gen. taglist ] @nakizumie @kirakirasaku @gayerthanthee @mirakeul . and to dino bb @dinosaurtsukki KASI BUTI NAMAN NAGUSTUHAN MO OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAH

-> CLICK HERE FOR PART ONE! (Atsumu's and Bokuto's) and HERE FOR AKAASHI'S!

TSUKISHIMA KEI: Nerd and Bully pero with REVENGE PLOT

Ganito kasi yan...Nagsimula to nung isang taon palang ako CHAR

CLASSMATES KAYO NI TSUKKI. Nung bata kayo, medyo close kayong dalawa. Gaano ka close? Close to the point na nag-eexchange brief and panty ganon JOKE.

Close kayo kasi friends ang mommies niyo awiiii

Tapos alam niyo na, typical friendship history, laging magkasama, naglalaro sa bahay, tapos may promise na pakasal kayo sa isa't-isa paglaki niyong dalawa ayieeee

Lumaki kayo at 1st year high school na pero sa di malamang dahilan, hindi na kayo close dalawa :((( pighati, awit, pait, wasak

Maybe dahil sa LOOK mo?

Napaka mAnAnG mO kAsI <///3 naka braces ka kahit hindi mo gamit tapos makapal ang glasses mo kasi ayaw mong walang salamin.

Bakit ganito itsura mo? Ayaw mo makita ng iba ang totoo mong mukha <////3 grabe yOuR sTruGgLe mami

Kahit na always ka namang umaapproach kay Tsukki, hindi ka niya pinapansin

Ay joke, pinapansin pala SAKA LANG KUNG MAY KAILANGAN

Binubully ka rin ng friends niya

"EW NERDY" <- Hinata na bumagsak sa Trigo

"BAKIT MAY MANANG DITO?" <- Kageyama na naging groupmate mo pero sinulat mo ang name sa 1/4 kahit na wala naman talagang ambag

"UMALIS KA DITO, MISS NERD." <- Yachi na...wala. Maganda tapos cute kaya may right siyang laitin ka. I don't make the rules.

Sa sobrang sakit ng ginagawa ng friends ni Tsukki, gusto mong humingi ng tulong kay Tsukki :(((( kasi baka naman may pake pa siya sayo diba? Sa pinagsamahan niyong dalawa nung kayo'y bata pa.

Pero nang sinundan mo si Tsukki, nagulat ka sa nakita mo...kasama niya ang new bestfriend mo (na lagi kang sinusupport at halos maging yaya mo na sa sobrang involved sa buhay mo) na si Yamaguchi at nagyayakapan silang dalawa na pang jowa

"Yamaguchi....???" <- ikaw na hurt

Yamaguchi: Mukhang wala ng point para itago pa ang lahat Y/N

Yamaguchi: angtotooniyan

sinadyakongkaibiganinkaalamkokasinaexbestfriendkangjowakonasitsukki atgustokongtantananmonaangboyfriendkobrrbackoffbitch

ahaskahisshisswagmonakamiguluhinnitsukkidahilhindinghindisiyamapapasayo

foreverandever

Ikaw: luhaan, sugatan, di mapakinabangan

Ikaw: Tsukki...totoo ba ang sinabi ni Yamaguchi?

Tsukishima looked away with an indifferent look on his face. He sighed in a manner as if he was tired with all of this shit.

Tsukishima: Yes, Y/N. Totoo ang sinabi ni Yamaguchi. Magjowa kami at ayaw ko sayo dahil N E R D ka

Ikaw: <//////3

Sa galit ay tumakbo ka at biglang umulan nang malakas tapos medyo boplaks ka kaya natumba ka sa daan tapos nabasa mga books mo tapos nasira salamin mo basta aping-api ka nakakalungkot :((((

Ikaw: Aalis ako dito...at maghihiganti ako *insert thunder background music* humanda ka sa pagbabalik ko Tsukishima Kei. Magbabayad kayong lahat, tandaan niyo!

FAST FORWARD MGA MAMI. IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS AT I MUST SAY, MARAMING NAGBAGO SA KARASUNO UNIVERSITY. MEDYO BOBO PA RIN SINA KAGEYAMA AT HINATA TAPOS SI YACHI MAGANDA PA RIN

Si Tsukishima naman ay parang...nagbago nung nawala ka? Mas naging cold at harsh kahit sa mga friends niya. Natuto na rin siyang uminom at sumakay ng motor kasi qualifications yun ng isang wattpad lead character.

At kamusta sila ni Yamaguchi? Medyo tabingi pero kakayanin natin, Josh.

Sir Ukai: Class, may bago kayong classmate. Miss Y/N pumasok ka.

Tsukki and the gang: Miss w h a t?

AND BOOM PUMASOK KA. With matching pahangin na effect. Nakasuot ka ng short skirt tapos cute na sleeveless kasi di gumagana sayo ang dress code. Nakacurl ang buhok mo at nawala na rin ang tigyawat sa mukha mo. Natanggal na rin ang braces mo at sa wakas!!! Naka contact lense ka na color pink kasi you are not like the rest of the girls

Sa gulat ni Tsukki ay napatayo siya sa pagpasok mo, nakanga nga pa. Habang si Yamaguchi naman ay nagulat dahil what the fuck bumalik ka na naman, ginugulo mo na naman sila ni Tsukki?

napangiti ka sa kaloob looban mo. nyahahahah revenge >=)))))))

Where will you start your revenge ba? AHHH IPAPAFALL MO SINA KAGEYAMA AND HINATA? Nah...masyadong basic. Something evil talaga >=]]]]

Kageyama: WTF SINO BUMUTAS NG RUBBER SHOES KO?

Ikaw na pa innocent sa upuan mo: >=]]]]]

Also Kageyama: Lol, ayos lang, pasira na rin naman to eh.

Napakevil mo talaga sist. Nilagyan mo ng black hair dye ang shower ng volleyball gym para umitim buhok ni Hinata, nilagyan mo ng candy ang bag ni Yachi para langgamin siya without her knowing. Yung upuan ni Yamaguchi sa classroom niyo nilagyan mo ng fresh white paint. ANG EVIL MO NAKAKALOKA. LIKE, GRABE NAKAKATAKOT

Pero despite it all, alam ni Tsukishima na kagagawan mo itong lahat.

Tsukishima: Y/N stop it.

"Stop what." "This." "This?" "All of this. Bakit mo ba to ginagawa?" "You tell me, Kei. Sa tingin mo, bakit ko to ginagawa?"

Lumapit ka kay Kei with a seductive look on your face. Napalunok si Kei habang naglalakad ka tapos nung nasa harapan ka na ni Kei, napasandal si Kei sa lamesa niya habang ikaw naman halos i-wrap na legs mo kay Kei like ati, kalmahan mo, nasa classroom pa rin kayo.

Ikaw: I'm doing this because of you, Kei. Sinaktan mo ako noon, sasaktan ko rin ang mga importante sayo ngayon.

Pero kahit na galit na galit na si Y/N, ang malantod na si Tsukishima ay ito lang ang sinabi: "I missed you, Y/N. Miss ko na ang best friend ko."

Ikaw na di nakikipagbiruan: 😡���🔪⛓️👊

Ikaw na marupok: 😳🙄🥺✨

Okay, postpone mo muna revenge plan mo kay Tsukki kasi ngl, that was suprising kaya medyo nayanig ang galit mo

Ibuntong mo nalang kay Yamaguchi...

SLAP

Ikaw: WTF, YAMAGUCHI ANONG PROBLEMA MO?!

Yamaguchi: IKAW ANG PROBLEMA KO. BAKIT KA PA KASI BUMALIK? MASAYA NA KAMI NI TSUKKI. HINDI KA NA NAMIN KAILANGAN DITO. STOP RUINING OUR LIVES BITCH

Ikaw na ubos na pasensya: MUKHA MO NALANG I-RUIN KO

BANG NAG-AWAY KAYO MGA MIMA. TAPOS SIYEMPRE MAS MALAKAS SI YAMAGUCHI KASI VOLLEYBALL PLAYER SIYA KAYA PASA-PASA KA PERO LALABAN TAYO MGA MIMA, KALMOT HERE KALMOT THERE HANGGANG SA NAPAHIGA NA SI YAMAGUCHI SA SAHIG TAPOS IKAW NAKAPATONG NA SA KANIYA TAPOS SINASAKAL MO NA SIYA TAPOS-

Tsukishima: Y/N!

Hinila ka ni Tsukki paalis sa ibabaw ni Yamaguchi tapos saktong dumating sina KageHina and Yachi at nilapitan si Yamaguchi. Iyak nang iyak si Yamaguchi at siyempre ikaw din kasi para kang binugbog ng sampung kamay mami

Napatawag kayo ng disciplinarian pero skip natin detention wala namang landi diyan. Pinapauwi na kayo at nagulat ka dahil nasa gate si Tsukki

Yamaguchi: Tsukki, hinintay mo ako-

Tsukki: Y/N, let's go home.

Ikaw:

Yamaguchi: Pero, Kei-

Tsukki: Look, Yamaguchi. Stop it. We're over.

Yamaguchi: Luhaan, sugatan, di mapakinabangan

Gusto mo sana umimik kaso pagod ka na from the suntok and all kaya sumunod ka nalang kay Tsukki. Tapos sumakay na kayo sa motor niyang pangmalakasan ganern pero imbes sa bahay mo ikaw hinatid, hinatid ka niya sa lumang playground na palagi niyong pinupuntahan noon.

Y/N: Hindi ito ang bahay namin.

Tsukki: Alam ko. Di ako bulag.

WOW. SIYA PA MAY ATRASO, SIYA PA GANADO MAGMALDITA-

Tsukki: Y/N, I know I did you wrong when we were younger. But please, give me a chance.

Ikaw na 3/4 nalang ang galit: 🙄

Tsukki: If hindi mo ako mabibigyan ng chance, ayos lang. But I want you to know I'm leaving. Pupunta ako ng America dahil doon ako gusto ipa-college ni Dad <- tama pa ba grammar ko?

Nagulat ka siyempre kasi...aalis si Tsukki?

Huminga nang malalim si Tsukki: "I guess... this is my goodbye."

Akmang tatalikod si Tsukki nang niyakap mo siya, "TSUKKI BUBU WAG MO AKO IWAN. ANG TOTOO NIYAN MAHAL PA RIN KITA NAGTATAMPO LANG TALAGA AKO. PERO MAHAL KITA WAG MO KO IWAN PLEASE"

Napangiti si Tsukki at napatingin sayo. Walang pasabing hinalikan ka sa lips (okay but kids, consent muna ALL THE TIME) at he broke the kiss and he lofted you tapos inikot na parang naghahanap ng signal.

Tsukki: Fuck, I love you Y/N. I'll make it up to you. Babawi ako sa mga pagkukulang ko noon. I love you so much.

THE END ;DDDD

[irritatinglytidsoptimist]

haha hutaena yung comment section ng official statement ng ACE Hardware sa fb page nila about dun sa “Suntukan sa Ace Hardware”. hahahaha ang benta eh :D

[joserizalofficial]

KITAKITS NA LANG SA SUNTUKAN SA ACE HARDWARE

[useless-philippinesfacts-archive]

Ace Hardware SM Lucena did in fact make #SuntukanSaAceHardware a thing!

[useless-philippinesfacts-archive]

Philippine Viral Trends #7: Suntukan sa Ace Hardware

Once upon a time, somebody made a Facebook event called “Suntukan sa Ace Hardware” (”Brawling in Ace Hardware”) as a joke with the event scheduled for April 15, 2016 - and soon enough people signed up for the event - either they were “interested” or going. 

Polls asking who should fight in the event were also present, with “yung mama mo” (your mother) receiving the most number of votes and Presidential Candidate Mar Roxas receiving the most number of votes in polls asking about who gets to be beaten up first when the event starts.

Media outlets then picked up this “event” and everything changed when the PR people of Ace Hardware released a statement saying that they do not condone the event - and in the days that followed, the original event page got deleted off Facebook.

But of course, the party just begun because a new page for the event was created - first as “Suntukan sa Ace Hardware 2.0″ which was eventually renamed to just “Suntukan sa Ace Hardware”. Surprisingly enough, Ace Hardware took advantage of the “event” this time and started releasing countdown images to April 15 such as this:

(Translation: What? Let’s go! to Ace Hardware SM Lucena)

The reason why Ace Hardware “promoted” that event is because their three day sale is slated to start on the same day..

Suntukan sa Ace Hardware led to more joke events such as:

Binbining Pilipinas - APEC Hottie sa Comelec (Miss Philippines - APEC Hottie in COMELEC) which is a reference to the upcoming Binibining Pilipinas pageant this April 19, the upcoming national & local elections on May 9 and #APECHottie which trended when the Philippines hosted APEC in 2015. The “event” is scheduled to happen on May 9, the day of the 2016 National and Local Elections in the Philippines.

Cheerdance sa Scarborough (Cheerdance in Scarborough) which is a cheerdance competition that will take place in the Scarborough shoal which is one of the disputed territories between Philippines and China. The “event” is scheduled on April 16, a day after the “Suntukan sa Ace Hardware”.

Chiz Escudero Spoken Word Night which will take place right after “Suntukan sa Ace Hardware” The event was made in reference to Chiz Escudero’s robotic way of speaking during the Vice Presidential debates which led to people comparing him to spoken word poets.

There are still many more joke events that were a result of “Suntukan sa Ace Hardware” gaining popularity but “Suntukan sa Ace Hardware” is the one that started these all.