#sunshinedeekayrecs

[sunshinedeekay]

OHHHHH MY GOOD LORD. THE TEARS IN MY EYES RN DAWG.

a-teen!

pairing: bestfriend!seungcheol x gn!reader genre: fluff, some angst, idiots to lovers warning(s): mentions of food, reader plays a fem role in a school production word count: 3.2k

summary: you can’t remember life without seungcheol, and so can’t he.

When I was very young I wondered If there was anyone Who could understand me

AGE: 5

Seungcheol has always been alone.

For as long as his five-year-old self has lived, he’s never really had any friends. He’s more than content with it, though, because as much as his mother had been convincing him to “Go approach the other kids first!”, Seungcheol would much rather spend his playtime building sandcastles alone in his little corner.

So when he skipped into the playground on just another day of hanging out by himself during playtime period at preschool, to say he was surprised by the sight of you not only being at his usual spot at the sand pit, but building on top of his painstakingly-built, one and only sandcastle at that, was an extreme understatement.

Seungcheol was furious.

“Hey!” he stomps into the sandpit, and you look up at the commotion. “What are you doing to my sandcastle!?”

You stand up to meet his eye level, mouth opening and closing like a fish having been caught off guard. “Um… I-”

“Seungcheol, be nice to them!” you’re cut off by a familiar voice, and the both of you turn towards the sound to see your beloved teacher, Miss Yoon, standing before you. Miss Yoon smiles softly at the two of you, reaching down to rub a hand on your back.

“Seungcheol, this is y/n. This is their first day here, so they must not have known this was your spot, honey,” Miss Yoon reasons, and Seungcheol’s eyes widen, realising his mistake, before looking down at his feet to hide his embarrassment.

“What should you say, Seungcheol?” Miss Yoon prods, and Seungcheol flares even redder in embarrassment.

“S-sorry…” he mumbles reluctantly, much to his dismay. Miss Yoon chuckles.

“Well, I’ll leave you two to it then! Be nice to each other, okay?” Miss Yoon beams at the both of you before walking off to another group of kids. You and Seungcheol continue facing each other awkwardly while Seungcheol reels in his embarrassment, refusing to talk to you first out of pettiness.

“My name is y/n!” you reach forward cheerfully, raising your tiny hand up to wave at Seungcheol. Seungcheol stares at you, dumbfounded.

“I know.”

“Oh!” you exclaim, seemingly unbothered. “I’m… sorry for building on your sandcastle. I thought the sandcastle would look better with a roof, so I went ahead and did it!”

Seungcheol glances over at his (or yours? or both of yours?) sandcastle, and as much as he hated to admit it considering he was just humiliated by you a few seconds ago, all animosity towards you before melted away.

“It… does look better.”

Seungcheol swore your smile rivalled the sun in his statement.

If there was even such a thing as love Or who would be the one to take my first kiss?

AGE: 16

Much to Seungcheol’s surprise, the friendship between the both of you survived his petty tantrums in preschool, your emotional dramatics in middle school, and his raging teenage hormones in high school to end up where you both were now.

Looking back on it, your friendship didn’t really make much sense to Seungcheol. Seungcheol’s a soccer jock, and you’re a theatre arts performer. The both of you have always been on two opposite ends of a spectrum, yet somehow, he always finds himself gravitating towards you.

And that’s not to mention your (and his, he supposes?) overwhelming popularity. Everywhere you went, guys and girls flocked to you, vying for just a second of your attention. Yet, (to his glee,) you always choose to direct the entirety of your attention to him time and time again, and Seungcheol just can’t help but take pride in his status as your best friend.

A best friend that he’d maybe want to kiss.

Wait, what?

“What are you thinking about?” you nudge Seungcheol with your toes from the opposite end of his bed, snapping him out of his stupor.

“I’m not thinking about anything!” he exclaims immediately in reply, looking away as you raise an eyebrow at his suspicious response.

“Really?” you scoff, “You stopped answering me five questions ago.”

Oh. Come to think of it, Seungcheol isn’t even sure why he lied.

“Anyway,” you move on from the topic, to Seungcheol’s relief, “I was just asking if you’ve had your first kiss yet.”

Seungcheol turns his head towards you so fast he almost gets whiplash.

“W-what?” Seungcheol barely manages to stutter out a reply, still reeling in shock at the fact that you knew exactly what he was thinking of. Heat slowly creeps up his neck as you examine his reaction.

“Have you?” your eyebrows raise just a little in amusement, and Seungcheol’s brain short-circuits, mouth opening and closing for a solid few seconds.

“Cheol, I’m kidding,” you clarify after a while, an amused smile creeping up your face, “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

“No, I-” Seungcheol replies nearly immediately, “I was just surprised, that’s all…”

“…I haven’t kissed anyone yet, actually.”

Your mouth hangs open. “Really?”

Seungcheol nods in reply, subtly furrowing his brows together. “Have you?”

“No, of course not,” you reply without missing a beat. Seungcheol contemplates prodding you to elaborate, but you beat him to it.

“But… my friends at Theatre all told me it was kind of the norm around here to have had at least some kissing experience, and- okay, stop looking at me like that! I know it’s stupid! But… what if we were each other’s first kiss?” you rush out, eyes focusing on anything but your best friend in front of you.

“You… want us to be each other’s first kiss?” Seungcheol replies, absolutely dumbfounded by your statement.

“Only if you want to, that is!” you rush to clarify immediately after his question, looking down at your fingers in order not to make eye contact with him.

Seungcheol ponders on the request, eyes never leaving you. If it were up to five-year-old Seungcheol, he would have complained about getting the cooties and left immediately.

But he’s not five-year-old Seungcheol. Not anymore.

He leans forward, and you look up at the sound of the bed sheets crinkling. His lips envelope yours completely as you do, catching you off guard. You let out a small gasp in surprise, but make no move to stop him. The butterflies in Seungcheol’s stomach are practically begging to be released, swirling in uncontrollable motions as all Seungcheol can think about is you, you, you.

The kiss is awkward, and clearly highlights the inexperience of both you and Seungcheol.

But it’s both of your firsts, and that’s all that matters for Seungcheol.

The first few minutes after you pull away are awkward, the both of you clearly unsure of what to say to each other having never been in such territory before.

“Well, that wasn’t so bad,” you pipe up first, and Seungcheol nods immediately. “Thanks for agreeing to do this, Cheol, you’re a solid best friend.”

“Yeah,” Seungcheol replies, the last two words of your sentence bringing him back to reality, “I guess I am.”

When I look to the side I see you, standing next to me, that gives me courage

AGE: 17

You can’t remember life without Seungcheol. In fact, you like to think your life started when you met Seungcheol, and now you can’t imagine what you’d do without him by your side for every milestone in your life.

Until now, you suppose.

By some stroke of luck (or the opposite), you had been given a golden opportunity to play your first leading role of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, which entailed performing to a sold-out show of at least two hundred. Only, Seungcheol coincidentally has a sports retreat on the same day, three-hundred and twenty kilometres from Seoul.

“I’ll make it,” he had said with unwavering determination, warming your heart to the core with his insistence. “Trust me.”

But as you stand in preparation backstage, eyes glued to Seungcheol’s latest messages, you can’t help but let a wave of disappointment rush over you at the realisation that this would be the first time Seungcheol would miss an important milestone in your life.

cheol </3: i’m so sorry y/n, it’s taking a bit longer than i expected. [19:10]

cheol </3: i’ll make it up to you [19:11]

cheol </3: smash the stage like you always do, yeah? [19:11]

“y/n?” your clubmate and stage manager, Minhee, pats your shoulder lightly, and you jolt a little in surprise. “You’re up soon. You can do this, okay?”

You press your lips together and nod in response, your best friend’s text messages still lingering in the forefront of your mind.

It’s okay, you tell yourself, part of growing up is learning how to be independent, right?

As you step onto the stage, ever-aware of the two-hundred-or-so pair of eyes staring at you. All you can think about is doing well.

And you only have yourself to thank for relentlessly training your acting skills, because it takes everything in you not to drop your jaw in shock at the sight of the person you’d least expected to be among the audience tonight.

Seungcheol maintains eye contact, the intensity of his gaze igniting your body in flames as the world seemingly disappears. Your heart processes his presence before your head does, as you let out the brightest grin while still reciting your lines, your glow lighting up the whole stage for the rest of the performance.

The piece is over before you know it, and amidst the roars of applause and cheers among the crowd, you’re focused on one and only one person.

Beaming at you, your best friend simply shrugs as he mouths, “I told you to trust me, didn’t I?”

You’re quite sure your smile rivalled the sun at that moment.

My heart that was as pure as the clouds wants you My poor choice of words express my heart I’m just saying anything, you make my heart pound This strange feeling, seems like it’ll be my first and last Because of you

AGE: 18

Seungcheol is late.

Which is surprising, considering that you’re (more often than not) the tardy one in the duo. Rain or shine, Seungcheol always shows up first at the cafe you frequent every week, laptop already on the table with both of your usuals in front of him.

By the half-hour mark, you’re ready to pack your bags and leave when your best friend stumbles into the cafe, his hair frazzled as if he’d rushed all the way here.

He spots you almost instantly, speed walking towards you as a million apologies roll off his tongue.

“I’m so sorry,” Seungcheol begins as he slides into the seat opposite you. You notice that he’s brought nothing except for himself into the cafe, but don’t call him out on it. “The boys were keeping me from leaving training.”

A small smile makes its way onto your face at the mention of your best friend’s goofy teammates, and you hum, “What did they make you do this time to make you forget to bring your stuff too?”

Seungcheol hesitates for a while before smiling sheepishly, and you stare at him, confused.

“I can’t stay here for long,” Seungcheol explains, picking up a cautious tone, “They set me up on a date in… twenty minutes.”

You don’t know why, but Seungcheol’s revelation has your heart sinking as your brain tries to come up with as many different ways as possible of justifying whatever you’d just heard to you.

It’s not like this is Seungcheol’s first ever date, you try to reason, he’s been on plenty of dates since you’ve been friends, so this shouldn’t be any different, right?

“y/n?” Seungcheol stops your internal spiral, and you jolt a little as you look up from the table to make eye contact with him. “Are you�� okay?”

“Y-yeah!” you exclaim a little too loudly, wincing at the volume, “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be okay?”

Seungcheol’s eyebrows are furrowed as he analyses your expression. He opens his mouth to say something, but you beat him to it, desperate to end the conversation.

“You should go. It’s not good to be late on the first date,” you flash him a smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes, kicking him softly under the table to make a point. Seungcheol opens his mouth again, but you shake your head, nodding towards the exit.

“Have fun,” is all you can manage as Seungcheol slowly gets up from his seat. You feel terrible for worrying him with your actions, but all you want to do is be alone with your thoughts at the moment.

You let the waves of disappointment, sadness, and everything in between crash down on you as you watch Seungcheol leave through the door, and it’s not until many hours later and you’re still staring at the cafe doors that it dawns on you.

You’re in love with your best friend. You’re very sure you’ve always been, and you feel nothing but stupid for only realising this now, when his heart is at risk of being stolen by someone else.

Having a first kiss by the age of sixteen wasn’t even that deep for you or your theatre friends. You’d just brought it up that fateful day because as selfish as it was, you wanted to feel Seungcheol’s lips on yours without ruining your friendship.

Having Seungcheol present at your first big performance was so important to you, because he was important to you. You wanted him to see you shine, wanted to impress him, so much so that the idea of him not being there almost impacted your performance that day.

You’ve been in love with your best friend for as long as you can remember, but you’re quite sure it’s too late to do anything now.

Eighteen, this moment won’t ever come back I’m giving it to you (All in, all in)

AGE: 18

Seungcheol feels horrible, and for many reasons.

For one, he feels horrible for going on the date his friends set him up on, when he’s clearly wasting the other person’s time.

He feels horrible for the short responses he’s giving to his date, and feels horrible that calling his date his ‘date’ feels horrible to him.

But most importantly, he feels horrible for leaving you in the cafe. His heart shatters as he imagines you all by yourself in your favourite booth, and the date is not helping considering the fact that he can’t help but subconsciously compare every detail and every interaction with his date with his interactions with you.

“You know, I was sceptical at first when I heard the rumours, but I’m completely sold now that I’ve had the chance to talk with you,” Seungcheol’s date (Julia, he belatedly remembers,) chuckles.

“Huh?” Seungcheol replies, dazed.

“You and y/n,” Julia explains, and Seungcheol’s eyes light up at the mention of you, “You like them, don’t you? I thought there was a chance you didn’t, since you’ve been friends for so long, but you do, don’t you?”

Seungcheol freezes like he’s been caught, mouth opening and closing like a fish. Julia simply laughs.

“It’s okay, I’m not mad or anything,” Julia says between chuckles, “your teammates did tell me this much when I told them to set us up together.”

“Oh, no, I just–” Seungcheol replies, trying his best to put his thoughts together coherently, “Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be,” Julia shakes her head, smiling, “I already knew. I’m not sure if y/n does, though.”

Eighteen, right now This might be my everything Everything, everything

AGE: 18

Seungcheol is almost completely out of breath by the time he’s at your doorstep.

He’d apologised profusely to Julia for that disaster of a date just a little over an hour ago, all while she’d been encouraging him to confess his feelings for you.

Pacing around the corridor, Seungcheol’s heart starts pounding faster as the nerves finally creep in.

What if you don’t feel the same? Will your friendship still stay the same?

“Cheol?” your familiar voice breaks him out of his inner turmoil, and the way you call him by his favourite nickname has him smiling subconsciously. “What are you doing here?”

“I, uh—” he rubs the back of his neck, nervous, “I wanted to see you.”

You tilt your head in confusion, moving to stand in front of him. “Are you not supposed to be on your date right now?”

Seungcheol winces at the implicit reminder of him leaving you at the cafe, looking at you with the most apologetic expression he can muster.

“Yeah… she ended it early.” Seungcheol explains, and you furrow your brows together.

“Why? Were you too boring?” you’re suppressing your laughter now, and Seungcheol can’t help but smile along with you.

“Not funny, y/n,” Seungcheol huffs, “But you might be right, yeah. I may have been a little boring intentionally.”

You look at him quizzically, urging him to continue. “I just— I like someone else, y/n.”

“Oh.” is all you reply as Seungcheol mentally chastises himself for how horribly he’s steering this conversation.

the “Um, it’s pretty late now, so you should go back,” you pipe up after a beat of silence and turn to go into your apartment. Seungcheol rushes to stop you, hand reaching out to grab your wrist.

“Wait, I—” Seungcheol takes a deep breath, eyes boring into yours.

“I’m in love with you,” Seungcheol breathes like a weight has been lifted off his shoulder, and you, too, let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “I probably have been ever since you fixed my sandcastle for me back in kindergarten, and I’ve never stopped. I’m just stupid enough to realise only now that I love you so much, and I really, really hope you do too because—”

Your lips are on his before he can finish his sentence, and his eyes widen a little before he leans into you, kissing you back with full force. Just like the first time, the kiss sets off a million butterflies in Seungcheol’s stomach, and he embraces the feeling, reaching up to cup your face in his hands as he closes the nonexistent gap between the two of you. Seungcheol can only hope this is enough to convey his love and longing for you.

“I love you too, idiot,” you breathe out as you pull away, giggling as Seungcheol chases after your lips. “I wasn’t going to fix your sandcastle, you know, but Miss Yoon told me to make friends with you, so I did.”

“Well, thanks for fixing my sandcastle that day, then,” Seungcheol thumb brushes gently across your cheek, as if committing the feeling of your skin to memory.

“Your sandcastle building skills are horrible,” you huff as an attempt to divert attention from your burning cheeks.

“You’re so mean!” Seungcheol pinches your cheek and he puffs his in mock offence.

“But you love me,”

“I do,”

Your laughter travels down the corridor as the both of you continue bantering, just like when you were both sixteen and hopelessly pining for each other.

Seungcheol’s heart is full as he looks at your beaming self. He’s loved you for more than a decade, and he’s only just begun.

a/n: finally posting something after so long!! this has been in my wips for really long, and i lowkey don’t like how it turned out :( really missing every one on here though!! how have y’all been </3

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