#sunny can fucking kill a man with a pencil so it would literally be the first thing she picked up

[moss-flesh]

Unusual OC Appreciation!!

was tagged by @beastofmoss !! thanku!! im gonna tag @n7viper @arlathen @theharlotofferelden

of course without pressure ! only if u have time and wanna do this! and u can do however many you want <3

im gonna do my main 3 DA ocs <3 but i honestly wanna do this for my other ocs coz this is so cute!!

Aila Amell

she/her

seasoning: black pepper

weather: rainstorm

colour: blue

sky: clear night sky with stars

magic power: shes a mage but she focuses on spirit and entropy magic

house plant: violets

weapon: staff! but she also has a dagger

subject: i guess like ? if magic studies is out of the equation, than astronomy? or history?

social media: in a modern au this woman has like no technology skills at all she stays AWAY from that shit! she would have a pinterest to look up recipes!

makeup product: eyeliner or eyeshadow! womans got dark circles and she multiplies them

candy: dark chocolate

fear: accidentally blowing up at her loved ones and leaving her alone

ice cube shape: ice orb

method of long distance travel: get this woman in a carriage PLEASE she walks EVERYWHERE and HATES IT

art style: ohhhhh romanticism i think

mythological creature: KELPIE!!!! something about how she changes herself based on her surroundings ect ect water being emotional land being grounded and collected, the fight between ect ect

piece of stationary: if its modern au my girl would love a highlighter, annotating ass bitch

celestial body: constellations !! which i know is multiple but whatever, if were picking one than the moon

Erynne Hawke

she/he/they

seasoning: chili

weather: hot summer day

colour: brick red or a mauve purple

sky: burning orange sunset

magic power: babygirl is primal and force mage, she likes explody and power

house plant: algaonema

weapon: staff baby which she loves to beat people with, and their FISTS !! plus an obligatory dagger just in case

subject: FUCK SCHOOL this bitch HATES studying

social media: ifunny because theyre literally the worst

makeup product: really fucked up bad looking eyeshadow

candy: rock candy, let the man crunch

fear: getting her loved ones killed by being stupid

ice cube shape: the horrible kind u get from a shitty tray

method of long distance travel: on foot baby, if he totally has to she will ride a horse

art style: abstract expressionism

mythological creature: PHOENIX !

piece of stationary: a fucked up pencil she refuses to get rid of

celestial body: the planet mars, i will not elaborate

Adahlen Lavellan

she/they

seasoning: basil <3

weather: sunny spring day with a cool breeze

colour: shes basically all red but thats not her fave color her fave is green

sky: clear and blue

magic power: rift magic baby <3 and a touch of blood magic she prefers to keep under wraps

house plant: peace lily

weapon: staff! and a dagger just like my other mages but she never uses the dagger and uses acrobatic type skills to avoid close combat

subject: philosophy <3

social media: she is a creature who only knows how to scroll on tumblr and pinterest

makeup product: chapstick

candy: basically any candied fruit!! mostly candied oranges

fear: being a monster

ice cube shape: those rlly crunchy fluffy ones from fast food places

method of long distance travel: Halla !! or a Hart?? idk im confused about whether the dalish ride the halla theres conflicting sources

art style: impressionism !!!!

mythological creature: nymph!!! omg!!

piece of stationary: parchment that she doodles all over

celestial body: SUN !!!

heres the blank prompt!

(without breaks so u can just copy n paste)

seasoning: weather: colour: sky: magic power: house plant: weapon: subject: social media: makeup product: candy: fear: ice cube shape: method of long distance travel: art style: mythological creature: piece of stationary: celestial body:

[she-is-tim]

Bleeding Hearts | Elu Vampire Soulmate AU | Ch.2

AO3 link

Eliott is living on alcohol, weed and blood. That drives his dead body on a daily basis, giving him at least some kind of purpose in his meaningless life. Being immortal sucks. Being dead sucks even more. All he wants is to get out of this endless loop of nothingness, but he doesn’t expect that to happen so soon. When he meets him, his world turns upside down and his heart starts to beat again.

Ch.1

Crossing paths

Blood was dripping down from his lips as he raised his head. An inhuman groan left his throat as the warm liquid filled his insides. His whole body was on fire, he felt himself becoming stronger, invincible even. The metallic flavor on his tongue reminded him of who he was and where he belonged, to the darkness. No one could stop him, because he could kill them all. There will be no more hesitation, no more holding back. The beast inside him cried out, showing his dominance. He slowly opened his eyes that were sparkling blue in the dim light, gazing down at the body in front of him. A beautiful face, small frame, the disheveled brown locks now bathing in deep crimson liquid that was still flowing out of the two holes bitten into his soft neck. Large, ocean blue eyes wide open, showing no signs of life in them. Lucas was dead. The monster killed him. 

Eliott’s eyes snapped open, gasping for air. His whole body was covered in cold sweat, hair sticking to his forehead, tears rolling down his cheeks. He grabbed the shirt he was sleeping in, trying to normalize his breathing and heartbeat. It was such a hard thing to live with a functioning body after spending more than twenty years to get used to being dead. He was just like every other human being, sweating, crying, swallowing, peeing, sleeping, but still different. The sun still burned him, that was sure and he still craved for blood more than anything. Actually things got worse in the last few days. 

He kept following Lucas from afar, making sure the boy won’t notice him. He knew that this was not right, but he just couldn’t hold himself back. It was a strong force inside that made him listen to his newly awakened heart instead of his head. And of course it wouldn’t shut up about Lucas. He needed to know where he lived, where he was working, going to school, to get coffee, who he was visiting at the hospital. Every single detail about his life. At least it was a reason for him to get out of his apartment. Luckily the weather was really cloudy and cold, so he was able to be outside during daytime. He had to admit that with his alive body there came a lot of inconveniences, like feeling cold. Wearing shoes were just as awful as he remembered, but he needed it to protect his feet from the cold. Funny how just for that he wished his dead body back. 

He reached for his phone, that somehow ended up on the floor next to his bed to check the time. It was already past 10, so Lucas was already on the campus, probably being bored to death. Eliott loved to watch him through the university building windows as he was sitting in the classroom, tapping on his cheeks with a pencil, gazing at the professor with those beautiful, ocean blue eyes. Whenever it seemed like the boy noticed him, his heart would beat a thousand miles per hour, just to realize it’s basically impossible. He was a vampire, Lucas was a mortal, therefore he was not able to recognize him until he wanted him to. Of course that was all his heart wished for, but he just couldn’t let it happen. He knew if he would enter the boy’s life in any form, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from being around him all the time, trying to get his attention and make him fall in love. 

He got up from his bed. Since he met his “soulmate” and his heart started beating again he needed much more sleep than before. Now it was 5-6 hours instead of 1 or 2. His abilities were still the same, he was fast, quiet, agile and strong. It was just his brain needed a break and his body needed recharge, which was accomplished by sleeping. 

The kitchen was a bit messy, since he tried to cook something last night, which almost ended with burning down the place. Thankfully he was fast enough to put out the small fire in the pan, but he was sure that the omlette he was making died in the accident. A sad story really. He might do a funeral for it later the day by the trash cans behind the building. Gotta give the honor to those poor eggs that sacrificed themselves to prove him that becoming a vampire didn’t help with his cooking skills. 

He was too sleepy to clean up his own mess, so he just turned on his coffee machine and waited for it to make him some liquid black gold. His hands were still shaking and his heart was racing after the terrible dream he had. Ever since he was following the boy, nightmares like this were haunting him endlessly, reminding him of what could happen if he gets too close to Lucas. What happens if he loses control when he’s around him. That’s why he has to stay away, just observing from the distance, never initiating any sort of contact.  One cup of black coffee later he was agressively staring out the window, well more precisely through a small gap between the thick curtains. The sun was shining bright, no signs of clouds. He hated days like this, because it meant that he had to spend his time inside his apartment, far from Lucas. 

He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. This was not the end of the world, he will go to see him after the sun sets, until then he has a lot of time to spend. The living room was also a mess, crumpled papers, empty beer bottles and an empty box of chinese takeout he ordered after last night’s tragedy. He flopped down on the couch, turning on the TV and just letting it fill the annoying silence. Well, he could hear people walking on the streets, the old lady downstairs talking to her cat, some young couple having sex a few doors away. Who the hell has sex at 11 in the morning? Don’t they have a workplace or school to attend to? Fucking youngsters. 

━━━━

He was halfway through a TV show called The Umbrella Academy when he got startled by his buzzing phone. He reached for it, snatching from the coffee table he was resting his feet on and accepted the call without checking who was calling him. 

“Yes?” he asked, his voice was still a bit raspy, considering he haven’t talked to anyone in days now. 

“Eliott, my favorite barista! How’s it going?” came the enthusiastic voice of Alexandre Delano from the other side of the line. He couldn’t help the small smile creeping up on his face. They knew each other since a while now. Even a vampire needs a job to maintain his regular life somehow, like paying rent, his Netflix subscription, buying weed, alcohol, coffee and other unhealthy things to fuel his body on a daily basis. That’s why he had a part-time job at a night club a couple streets away from his apartment. It was perfect, because they opened after sunset and were closing a few hours before dawn, which meant that he could work without making stupid excuses when it’s a sunny day. Plus the job was fairly easy, he had to make cocktails, serve it and be charming. Basically the perfect place for a vampire. It also helped him with his self control, since it wasn’t easy being around so many people, feeling their pulse pumpig to the rhythm of the loud music, exposed necks and easy preys everywhere. 

“Hey, Alex. Long time.” he said softly, pausing the episode he was currently watching. “What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you could come in and cover a shift for us today. You weren’t here since a week now and Emma fucking misses you.” he said with playfulness in his tone, which made Eliott chuckle. 

“Or she just misses my special margarita cocktail.” he joked, but it was probably true. Emma was his coworker, just like Alex, but she couldn’t quite keep herself away from the drinks. She almost got fired a couple times, but the boys always stood up for her.

“Oh, come on, man! We all miss your stupid face!” he claimed. “What would we do without your sarcastic jokes and grumpy behavior?” 

“That’s just super nice, thank you.” he murmured, rolling his eyes with a fond smile on his face.

“You know how I meant. And it’s fucking friday, students are going crazy! There will be a lots of people. We need all the help we can get.” 

“Chill, Alex. I was in the minute I heard your voice.” he calmed him softly, enjoying the warm feeling that was spreading in his chest.

“Really?! That’s cool. See you at 21h?” he asked happily and Eliott could hear Emma’s voice in the background. They were probably out together somewhere. 

“Sure. See you.” he replied and hung up. 

━━━━

Long hours passed and the club was now filled with mostly tipsy and wilding university students, trying to get rid of all the stress they’ve been gathering throughout the whole week. Eliott was surprised that his beast didn’t even try to burst out, even though he drank half a liter of AB+ before he left his apartment. Maybe it was because of his beating heart, he had no idea, but there was no reason to complain, since that made his job ten times easier. 

He had a lot of fun at the bar with Alex and Emma, making cocktails, serving drinks to sweaty youngsters, enjoying the thumping sounds of dubstep and techno music while watching the crowd of bodies swaying on the dance floor. Of course the brunette couldn’t help herself and got a tiny bit tipsy within two hours. She was a pain in the butt to handle, keep spilling drinks, jabbering at the guests and dancing around the boys clumsily. They had to help her up or clean the mess she made, but they didn’t mind it, because they were having fun. Eliott couldn’t remember the last time he laughed so much, but with all these new feelings inside him, everything was much more intense. Halfway through their shift Alex pointed out how he changed, but in a good way and that he is happy for him, to which Eliott replied with a wide grin. He really was happier and his friend had no idea how much he actually changed. Finally he could feel like he was a normal boy, who wasn’t 48 years old, stuck in a 20 year old body and craving for other people’s blood. He was just Eliott, the bartender. 

Somewhere around midnight he needed to go to the bathroom, just to wash his face and refresh himself. Babysitting Emma all night was a hard task, even for an immortal. As he looked in the mirror, water dripping from his face he felt like he is not seeing a monster, but himself. The young boy that got killed so long ago by a creature of the night made his way back, taking over his body, enjoying his life. He wished for this to be permanent, but a little voice in the back of his head kept reminding him that he can never be normal again, that he and his whole life is completely fucked up. 

He wiped his face with a paper towel and exited the bathroom, walking back towards the bar. He had to stop for a moment when his heart skipped a beat. It was so sudden and unexpected, that he got shocked. It took him not more than a few seconds to notice the cause of it. Lucas was standing by the bar, holding a bottle of beer and chatting with Alex casualy. Eliott panicked. His breathing quickened, heart racing like there’s no tomorrow and his nose got filled with the oh, so familiar scent of mint and deodrant, covering all the different smells that were flying around in the air. He could only see and feel the presence of Lucas, everyone else ceased to exist for him. 

What the fuck is he doing here?!

He could feel his palms getting sweaty, hair sticking to the nape of his neck. His heart was screaming at him, telling him to go over there, talk to Lucas, but this time his brain was sober enough to start coming up with escape routes. He knew he shouldn’t be running away from his workplace, but he couldn’t go there to the brunette and act like he wasn’t just following him for 2 weeks in a row, watching his every step, memorizing his classes and routines. 

No, he can’t go there. No way. He was just about to head towards the back door that was leading to the storage, sneaking out from there, when Emma appeared next to him. He was usually well aware of his own surroundings, being able to tell if someone tried to approach him, but not this time. He was too fucking preoccupied with a certain brown haired, blue eyed boy that was currently laughing at something his stupid friend - Basile, if he remembers his name correctly - said just now. And damn if that laugh wasn’t the best thing he ever heard, Adding to that he was wearing tight, stone washed black jeans with a black button up shirt. Eliott swallowed.

“Hey, Eli! My sweetheart, why are you standing here alone?” she chirped, the smell of vodka mixed with brandy almost, almost covered the sweet scent of Eliott’s beloved boy. Emma threw her arm around the guy’s neck and pulled him towards the bar, keep rambling about some shit. He tried to resist, but it would be too suspicious. He had no choice but to join his friend at the bar. 

“Hey! You’re back!” Alex yelled over the loud music happily. “I was worried that you flushed yourself down in the toilet.” he joked and nudged his side playfully. 

Eliott would laugh at his joke, but all of his hairs were straightening up as he felt the strong presence of Lucas. He was too busy explaining something to his friends at the moment, so he got the chance to just take him in. His beautiful face, his strong jawline, that fucking disheveled hair, his long lashes that were casting spidery shadows on his soft cheeks. Damn, he was so beautiful. 

He got startled out of his thoughts by fingers snapping in front of his nose. He shook his head and looked at Emma, who was standing in front of him with a smug grin on her face. Oh, fuck! 

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” she asked, though it seemed like she already knew the answer. Eliott took a deep breath and shook his head. It was almost impossible to take his eyes off of Lucas, but he somehow managed to do it. 

“Nothing, I’m going back to work.” he said, trying to sound nonchalant, walking to the other side of the bar, as far away from the boys as he just could, but before he had a chance to get away, Alex grabbed his hand, pulling him to his side. He gasped as the realization hit him that all four boys had their eyes fixed on him. Those ocean blue ones were even more beautiful in the blue and pink neon lights of the place. His heart was beating to the rhythm of the music that was currently playing, though he couldn’t tell what it was actually. 

“Don’t try to escape!” Alex said with a wide smirk on his face, pointing forward with the hand that wasn’t gripping into Eliott’s shirt. “These are my sweet friends. They just started college.” he explained enthusiastically. The gang in front of them smiled friendly, they must have heard about the mysterious Eliott Demaury already. Emma likes talking when she’s drunk and he was away for enough time for her to spill some tea to basically anyone that was in her vicinity. 

“Hey, you must be the famous Eliott.” Yann said, her bright smile was in stark contrast with his skin color, which was just extremely charming. Eliott would sure find him handsome, but his eyes were still fixated on one face and it seemed like Lucas also had his full attention on him. Ocean blue eyes boring holes into his face, making his cheeks heat up. What the fuck was this boy doing to him? 

“Yes, he is.” Alex answered, pinching his side while shooting him a disapproving look that was saying ‘Just this one time, be nice to them, okay?’ Eliott wished if he could do that, but as he opened his mouth, nothing came out. 

“Ahw, look at him, being at loss of words.” Emma chimed in, sipping on a glass of god knows what, having a wide smile on her face still. “Excuse him, but he probably never seen such beautiful boys like you. Not Basile, but like the others.” she said smirking, winking at her friends.

“Hey! I’m attractive, okay?” the curly haired boy whined, slamming his beer bottle on the counter, earning a grumpy look from Alex.

“No, I’m fine.” He finally managed to find his voice and talk. He could see something shift through the brunette’s face, but it was gone in a second. “Yes, I’m Eliott. Nice to meet you.” he said and his foolish brain and his fucking polite behavior made him raise his hand. Yann grabbed it first, sending him an encouraging smile. 

“Yann, nice to meet you.” 

“Arthur.” was the next one, hair softly curling up by his ears, his glasses sitting peacefully on his reddened cheeks.

“Basile, we heard a lot about you.” he said with an excited grin, shaking the offered hand a bit too fast and too long. Still Eliott would rather take that than touching the last member of the gang. His heart threatened to just burst out of his chest in excitement and fear. Last time they touched was so fucking intense he got a panic attack, so what would happen if they shake hands? 

He had no chance to get away from it now. Basile’s sweaty palm left his, so he reached towards Lucas, who looked a bit nervous before grabbing it. The feeling of it was like electricity blasting through his nerves and veins, freezing him to the spot where he was standing. It was like something clicked inside him, like a puzzle piece finally found it’s place in the big picture. As he examined the face of the other, he just knew that Lucas was feeling this intensity too. He pulled his hand back like he was touching fire, eyes widening from shock.

“What’s wrong, Lulu?” Alex asked worried, switching his eyes from Eliott to the boy and then back. 

“Nothing.” he mumbled, his voice slightly shaking. He unconsciously licked over his bottom lip, taking it between his teeth while looking at Eliott, searching for answers on his face. He wished if he could give it to him, right after he kissed those soft lips bright red. I am so damn fucked. 

“Wanna go back to dance?” Yann asked softly, placing a hand on his best friend’s shoulder, who finally tore his gaze away from Eliott. He could finally breathe normally again. 

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” he mumbled on a soft tone, finishing his beer with a few gulps and Eliott couldn’t help, but stare at his Adam’s apple moving up and down on his throat. He had to grab the counter because his fangs just popped out. The control he had over himself for the last few hours was thrown out of the window now. Every single nerve in his body was screaming for Lucas as he walked back to the dance floor with his friends. 

He was dragged out of his daze when Alex a bit too roughly poked his side with his elbow. As he looked at his friend, he could see confusion and a hint of disapprovement in his eyes. The urge to tell him everything and explain that he wasn’t just picking out Lucas for a one night stand was too strong in the moment. So as an answer, he shrugged and walked to the shelves behind them, organizing their collection of whikeys. 

Through the rest of the night, he barely saw Lucas. It was almost like he was avoiding him, since it was always just one of his friends coming to them for drinks. He was both glad and upset at that. Glad, because it was easier to hold himself back, controlling his inside monster that just wanted to burst out from the mere presence of the brunette. Upset, because his whole body was craving for the boy so much it was physically hurting him. He could smell him, hear his heartbeat and see his beautiful features in the crowd. This was a torture for sure. 

The boys left an hour before closing, dragging a very drunk Basile with them. Emma already bailed a couple hours ago, now swaying and making out with a girl on the dance floor to some shitty techno remix. Most of the people already left the place, the rest was shit faced and close to passing out. Eliott decided to clean up the floor and the counter, while Alex went to say hi to his leaving friends. Just the thought of Lucas walking away from him was painful, but as he looked towards them, his eyes locked with a pair of ocean blue ones. His cheeks were a bit red, caused by the mix of alcohol and dancing. There was something in his gaze that sent shivers down Eliott’s spine, making his body tense up. The boy blinked a couple times, licking his bottom lip yet again, basically driving him crazy with this and focused his attention back to his friends. The three of them gave a short hug to Alex, still holding their wasted buddy in a tight grip before walking out of the door. Taking a part of Eliott with him.

━━━━

Closing went much smoother than Eliott expected. He helped to get the remaining people out of the building and clean up the place, but he could leave earlier since Alex offered to close and take Emma home. She was now sleeping on a comfy couch, that was placed in one of the corners, snorring loudly. 

He put on his jacket, shaking hands with his coworker and then stepped outside. The cold breeze of the morning air shook him up a little, helping to get rid of his sleepiness. It was still hard to get used to feeling tired and the need to sleep. His feet was making a crunching sound on the sidewalk as he took a few steps, then he noticed a figure standing a few meters from him, leaning against the wall. He looked over and suddenly he forgot how to breathe. 

Lucas was just standing there, his arms crossed, wearing his signature navy blue bomber jacket over that fancy button up shirt. His hair was falling into his face and his eyes were slightly closed. He actually looked like he was sleeping, even his breathing was slow and even, smelling a bit like beer. 

He wanted to resist so bad, but it was just impossible. They were alone, people were still sleeping or going home from parties, so the street was nice and quiet. The orange light of the street lamps were casting dark shadows over the beautiful face of the boy. As he too a step towards him, his eyes jerked open and his small body got all tensed. He looked at Eliott half shocked, half surprised.

“Hey.” he said, trying to hit a friendly tone in his voice, which seemed to ease the brunette a little.

“Hey.” his voice was almost a whisper and if Eliott wouldn’t have such sharp ears, he could have missed it.

“Alex will be coming a bit later.” he explained, since there was no other reason for him to be here than waiting for his friend. He saw Lucas was fidgeting with his hands, looking down to his feet before raising his gaze at him again. He was so fucking gorgeous.

“I was actually waiting for you.” he muttered under his breath and Eliott’s blue eyes shot wide, not believing his ears.

“Pardon?”

“I said, I was waiting for you.” he repeated now, looking a bit more confisent, his eyes filled with determination. If Eliott wouldn’t be already head over heels for this boy, well, he would be now. 

“And why?” he asked, not being able to hold back the amused grin that creeped up on his face. As a response, he got a shy smile which was the most precious thing he had ever seen. 

“I don’t know... I felt like I should do it.” he said honestly, shrugging like it was not a big deal, while it actually was. Eliott knew too well how that felt, because he kept having those feelings around Lucas way too often. 

“Well, I am here now.” He was praying to whatever force that took over his brain in the moment, making himself be able to speak in full sentences without stuttering. 

“I wanted to apologize.” he started, fingers playing with the zipper of his jacket. “I was a bit rude back then, not introducing myself and pulling away my hand, you know.” he mumbled and he was looking everywhere just to avoid the tall boy’s eyes. Eliott found that extremely endearing. 

“No need for that.” his tone was soft, like warm and fresh honey. “You must have had a rough night. I can walk you home if you want.” he offered, not thinking about the consequences of his own words. Once again, his heart was much louder than his sleep deprived brain. Lucas thought about it for a second and his face split into the most heartwarming smile on the world. 

“Okay, that sounds good.” he said happily, stepping on the sidewalk now.

ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^

It’s finally here! I can’t believe I managed to finish this chapter, it might be a bit short, idk but I HAD TO cut it off here, because cliffhanger and because my brain is too tired to come up with more story atm  Enjoy this while you can, I’m going to have a long weekend so I might be able to squeeze out another chapter soon. Make sure to leave feedbacks and don’t hesitate to shoot me with ideas if you want. Bisous

[erratic-erotica]

Hard Night: The Penising

‘Kay, so.

I don’t, historically, do the tamblr thing. But I’mma try it out anyway, because why the fuck not, right? Also because my friend, Fry, literally made a tumblr for me because I am a luddite and also a tiny frightened baby bird. But Fry shoved me out of the nest with a loving, “FLY, BITCH” and so here I am.

You don’t care about me, and that’s fine. But let me tell you a quick story before I kick things off here.

So my boyfriend (hereafter referred to as Boyfrienddicks) came home the other day from his work at a hotel. He brought with him a large sack, and dropped it on the bed, and said, “You like to read, right?”

BOY HOWDY, DO I EVER.

Boyfrienddicks continued, “So there’s this ladies’ readers group that meets at my hotel every so often, and tonight they dropped off a couple of sacks of books at the front desk. So I grabbed a sack and brought it home for you.”

As you might imagine, I was rubbing my little hands together in absolute glee, because it was shaping up to be the best day of my life. FREE BOOKS?! HELL THE FUCK YEAH, SIGN ME UP. THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE EXPENSIVE.

So I did my gimme-gimme hands and he kindly passed me the sack, at which point I simply shoved my hands into it, the better to fondle my new treasures. With no small amount of glee, I lifted the first one from the confines of the sack and held it up into the light like Simba on Pride Rock.

And then I faltered.

“This is smut,” I said aloud, somewhat feebly.

“What?” asked Boyfrienddicks.

“Smut,” I said, flipping the book around to show him the nearly-naked dude on the cover. “Sssssmut. Ladyboner material. Trashy romance novels.”

“Oh,” he said. “Is…is that one called Hard Night?”

“It sure is,” I replied.

He cackled for a solid minute and then insisted I read it and tell him about it.

So I did.

Anyway, Fry (and others) were amused by the prospect of reading Random Smut That Totally Didn’t Fall Off the Back of a Truck or Anything, so Fry helpfully created this…I don’t know what you call it, tumblr group? For the reading and reviewing of – not carefully selected and deliberately chosen romance novels, but literally whatever random romances we can find.

Anyway, that’s all I have to say about that. Take from it what you will. Or don’t. It’s no skin off my nose.

Here’s my review of Hard Night, by Jackie Ashenden. I want to preface this by saying that it took me two whole days to finish this book because I did not want to finish this book. And not in the “I wish this would never end” sense, but rather in the “I wish I had never started this” sense.

JUST LOOK AT THIS. DISCRETION. SKILLS. SECRETS.

Hard Night starts off with our (ostensible) hero, Jacob Night, looming over our ill-fated heroine, Faith Beasley (aka Joanna Lynn), as she lies in her hospital bed, unconscious and emaciated.

She’s the only key to reuniting with his long-lost brother, because of course she is. And she’s also probably his brother’s lover. Or something. But he found her too late, and now she’s clearly been roughed up, and, as a result, has developed amnesia. Because of course she has.

What’s a fella to do with that, except to claim he’s her cousin and take her home to live with him, which, miraculously, absolutely no one questions. Did I mention he’s the one who told everyone her name is Faith Beasley? Because he did, and it’s not her name. Sergeant Doucheyacht literally took it upon himself to name this poor lady.

Anyway, not even “Faith” questions this miraculous turn of events, which is good for the plot, but bad for anyone in real life. DO NOT GO HOME WITH STRANGERS WHO DEFINITELY CANNOT PROVE THEY KNOW YOU OR THAT YOU ARE IN ANY WAY RELATED. That’s just some solid life advice from your friendly Vodka Aunt Dragondicks.

Captain Dudebro also helpfully gives her a job doing things and they rub along relatively smoothly together, despite both being tightasses of the highest caliber. Also despite the roiling sexual tension, since Jacob is constantly thinking of how awesome “Faith’s” ass looks in her tight pencil-skirts.

But he would never act on those impulses, of course.

Until one day, for no reason in particular that I have been able to ascertain, someone starts shooting at them. So off they run from sunny San Diego, all the way up the Pacific North West, where they hide out for a bit in Major Dickhead’s convenient bunker.

They spend about a day there before Jacob startles Faith in her sleep, and she just fuckin’ flips him and lays him out. Which, you know, cool. I like strong heroines as much as the next person.

So Genius McSmartypants deduces she’s probably Special Ops, just like he was before his mercenary days, and he’s like, ‘Hey. I like strong women.’ But also he’s a douche about it because he’s also like HEY BITCH YOUR REAL NAME’S JOANNA AND YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT NOW TO SUIT MY PURPOSES. BECAUSE I NEED THAT INFORMATION IN YOUR HEAD.

Dick. But I digress.

So now it’s combat training time, because maybe that’ll jog loose some memories (that Joanna/Faith clearly doesn’t want to remember). And of course, Dickheads gonna Dickhead. Somehow, fighting mysteriously turns into fucking. Fightfucking. Fuckfighting? I don’t fucking know, but there’s a lot of it in this book. Like, we took a fifty-goddamn-page fuck-break on page 86.

Eventually, however, it appears that our Noble Author realized, “Oh, shit, wait, this was actually supposed to have a plot, too.”

And the story continues. Faith remembers she’s really Joanna. And that she sort of also shot General ConstantBoner’s long-lost brother, Josh. And that she’s a Secret Badass. Also that she was never romantically involved with Josh, which is good news for Rear Admiral Knobjockey, who probably does not want to become Eskimo bros with his actual bro. Probably.

But that’s not important because we have more penising to get to.

Of course, Jacob confesses to a Tragic Past: a parade of foster homes that he was subjected to because he stabbed his pseudo-stepfather for molesting his younger twin brother, whom he really, really wants to reunite with.

Anyway, eventually Faith/Joanna realizes that telling Lieutenant Arsebarge that she totes shot his brother is probs gonna go down like a lead balloon, so she fucks off back to San Diego, because it totally makes a fuckload of sense to head right back to the same city where you got fucking shot at just a couple of days ago.

Of course, Corporal Fuckwad catches up with her in a motel, because he’s somehow GPS tagged her clothing. How? Don’t ask me. I don’t fucking know. It’s explained as “new technology.”

Anyway, more fuckfighting (fightfucking?) ensues. This time, with spanking! Scandalous! Faith also confesses to shooting his brother, because bro was part of her Special Ops team and he betrayed them for money, or whatever. To which Jacob replies something like, “Meh.”

Commandant Thundercunt realizes that they’ve been found out – there’s a car stationed right outside their motel, and this is clearly bad news. But Faith is just like, “Hey, you know what? I bet I could offer myself up as bait to those guys who have already tried to kill me. They might have info on your brother who might not actually be dead, idk.”

Of course, Colonel Fucknuts is having none of that. But she cold-cocks him and goes anyway, so it’s whatever.

But surprise surprise! Jacob’s little bro was actually the Evil Twin all along! Because he’s there with the real bad guy, whose name I disremember because I was pretty checked out by this point, not gonna lie. Started with an F. Pretty sure.

Anyway, of course Warrant Officer Fucktrumpet Supreme turns up to rescue his lady, and for reasons, Evil Twin helps them escape. Go team!

But Brigadier General Fuckface has just enough time left in the book to have a Crisis of Conscience! He is just no good for Faith! He’s a Bad Man! He has done Bad Things! He doesn’t deserve the Love of a Good Woman!

Faith, of course, drowns her sorrows in whiskey for a couple of hours before one of Chief Petty Officer First Class Bumblefuck’s friends (yes, incredibly, this man has friends) shows up to be like, “Hey. He is actually a Good Guy. I know because I know many things. You should totally just hop right back up on his dick.”

And Faith is like, “Time to get my man back,” or some shit. So off she goes, to confront Ensign Twatwaffle in his natural habitat. He’s taken aback, of course, but powerless to resist her charms (and vagina, presumably). There is more fuckfighting, and probably spanking, and then there’s THE END.

Did I mention this book was dedicated to Darth Vader, because of the author’s love of “dark heroes”? I don’t think that means what she thinks it means.

I AM NOT EVEN SHITTING YOU.

Remember, kids. I read it – so you don’t have to.

Love,

DD

[haughtbreaker]

Wynonna thinks Nicole needs a little bit of socialization, but will a party bring more strife than joy?

Thanks again to @jaybear1701​. Always a rockstar. This chapter gets a bit... much. Sorry. But also not sorry. I like breaking things. I'm horrible. TW: Mention of Suicide; Anxiety; Heavy alcohol use; Abortion

**Companion song: Across the Universe (Fiona Apple Cover)**

 "Are you going to tell him?"

Wynonna stared out the window, watching as the world skimmed by. She hated this town and the town hated her. "No." Unfortunately, it would always be home because it's where Waverly was.

There was a soft sigh as the SUV continued out of town, heading towards Gus's property.

Wynonna reached up to trace a path of water dripping down a window, trying not to think about the cramping, or… "It's better he not know. You know Henry. He'll probably cry or some bullshit like that." She didn't want to think about it. She needed to just lock it away. 

"And you don't think you should have…"

"No." Wynonna looked at Xavier who was behind the wheel. "Telling him would destroy him. It would literally kill him." She'd known as unfair as it was to Xavier, he would help her. He was always the most dependable of her tiny circle. She might even consider him a friend at that point, even if it was just because he was in love with her.

"It's your choice," Xavier finally said, returning his eyes to the road.

"My choice," Wynonna repeated. As they coursed down the road, Wynonna was relieved to finally see the shape of the house they'd lived in since… that night. Choice was such a bullshit word. There was no choice really. Two forms of birth control and fate still felt like fucking with her. 

As the SUV came to a stop, Wynonna put on the smile she'd been practicing, turning to Xavier. "Thanks X, you're a lifesaver." She opened the door and hopped out, turning back to him again. "You should come over Friday night. I'm gonna have a party."

"Do you really think you should?"

Wynonna rolled her eyes. "I'm fine. I just need to drink… a lot."

Xavier nodded. "What time?"

With a snort, Wynonna pulled her phone out of her pocket, swiping away a text from Henry. She was definitely not ready to see him. "I'll text you. It'll probably be 7ish but I need to convince Waves first."

Xavier nodded again. "Ok. Get some rest. Take your antibiotics."

"Thanks, Mom," Wynonna called out before shutting the door. She made sure she had her bag on her as she made her way up the front stairs. Gus was thankfully gone, probably getting supplies to prepare for her upcoming trip.

Waverly's Jeep was parked out front but when Wynonna entered the house, she only saw Nicole, sitting at the dining room table which surprised her. Over the last few weeks, it was rare that Nicole and Waverly were separate, which she found strange. Waverly had never been one to stay home all the time. At first, Wynonna had attributed it to the breakup with Champ and their overlapping circles. It wasn't until that one afternoon she smelt weed coming from downstairs that the sight she was greeted with made her think otherwise.

"Is this really your hair color?"

Wynonna stopped mid-stair at the scene she saw before her. She'd only swung by home to switch shoes when a familiar smell had brought her to the basement door. It was still early afternoon and she did not expect to see her sister sitting on the couch with Nicole's head resting on her thigh as she ran her fingers through auburn hair.

"Unfortunately," Nicole answered slowly, her toes tapping to the soft music that poured from the speakers connected to the record player.

"What in gay shit is going on here?" Wynonna asked as she walked over to the couch.

"Hey Earp," Nicole spoke in a slurred speech, on the verge of passing out.

"Shouldn't you two be in school?"

Waverly chuckled. "She had a panic attack earlier. so I drove her home."

"Man panic attacks are the worst." Wynonna picked the box up, looking at the diminished supplies. "Good choice of strains." A thought occurred to her as she looked at her sister who was way too high and seemed to be studying Nicole's face. It took her a minute to register what Waverly had said. "You drove her home? What about your perfect attendance?"

Waverly shrugged. "It's fine. I mean… I'm sure my college app is padded enough."

Wynonna blinked in disbelief at Waverly's nonchalance. From what Gus had told her, Waverly had kept her attendance spotless and now she was willing to give it up that easily? Just another thing she filed away for later.

"You know what you need, Haught?"

Nicole sighed softly, looking up from her text book. Wynonna had an excited look on her face and one of the things she'd learned over the past few weeks was that when Wynonna was excited about something, it was probably going to be chaos. "What's that, Earp?"

Wynonna slung her arm over Nicole's shoulder, leaning closer and whispering, "A house party."

Nicole sighed again. That was the last thing she wanted. In the past few weeks, school had been… strained to say the least, after her panic attack. While she'd managed to ignore most of the negativity, a party would be inviting that negativity into her after-school life. But parties weren't always bad. She didn't want to be around a lot of people, but she could really use a drink. "Aren't you a little old for house parties?"

"Haha." Wynonna removed her arm before slugging Nicole on the shoulder. "Funny. You're a real riot. Well let me tell you something about Purgatory, Cali-girl. In Purgatory, you're never too old for a house party."

Nicole winced as she rubbed her shoulder. "Sounds…" She wasn't even sure how it sounded.

"You don't have to say it, I can see the excitement in your eyes." Wynonna slapped the top of the table. "Gus is out of town this weekend with her annual tomatuh festival," she mocked Gus's accent. "So we've been tasked with, you know, protecting the house, protecting Waverly's chastity, making sure you don't off yourself…"

"I'm pretty sure Waverly is old enough to watch herself." Nicole refused to be baited.

"You're killin me, Smalls." Wynonna looked up as Waverly entered with her own stack of books. "Help me out here, Waves."

Waverly rose an eyebrow. "Experience tells me I should take Nicole's side on this." She sat down at the table beside Nicole, beginning to spread out her books in preparation for their study session, a habit they'd formed the second week of school together. After all, it made sense. They had almost all the same classes.

"So you don't want a party this weekend?"

Now, Waverly pursed her lips, looking from Nicole to Wynonna.

"See!" Wynonna laughed as she moved over and threw her arm around Waverly's shoulders. "Waverly has the true spirit of an Earp."

"I mean…" Waverly toyed with a pencil between her fingers. "I do feel like since I broke up with Champ, I've been a little isolated."

"Excellent. Hop onboard the hype train, Haught."

Nicole sighed, looking at Waverly who was watching her with an amused look. "I guess."

"Fuck yes." Wynonna yelled as she left the room, heading upstairs without another word.

Waverly seemed to be watching her closely. "Are you sure you're going to be ok?"

Nicole gave her a tight-lipped smile. "Well… I guess we'll see. I really need a drink and the people… well I can just hide in my room if it gets too much." When Waverly began going through her homework, Nicole felt a ball of anxiety beginning to form in her belly.

Nicole looked around the crowded house, trying not to let anxiety get to her. It hadn't worsened, but it hadn't gotten any better.

"What are you doing?" Waverly suddenly popped up, drink in hand.

"Just… observing." Nicole took a sip from the cup in her own hand. It wasn't too bad for a high school party.

"You're brooding."

Nicole rose an eyebrow. "I don't brood." Somehow, Waverly's sunny presence was comforting and Nicole felt herself beginning to relax. "I'm just a fan of watching."

Waverly laughed at that. "Ok. If you want to watch, you can at least be comfortable." She reached down and grabbed Nicole's free hand, beginning to pull her through the crowd.

Looking down at their joint hands, Nicole allowed herself to be pulled forward. She could have easily stood her ground, could have resisted, but she couldn't find a reason to. She was surprised as she was pushed down onto the couch and Waverly sat down beside her.

Nicole noticed that Waverly was like a beacon - a strong light drawing in her friends that appeared one by one, plopping down on the chairs, or on the floor until it seemed like they were surrounded by what felt like half the party.

"All right bitches!" Wynonna kicked a chair over to the coffee table, her hands filled with glasses and a new bottle. "Time to have some fun."

"Oh no." Waverly gave Nicole a look.

Nicole didn't move from her position, instead she took a sip of beer. "What's on your mind, Elder Earp?" She could already feel a light buzz going and she was comfortable.

"I say we play a game." Wynonna plopped down into a chair and began setting out shot glasses. "Nerd, get in here." Wynonna pointed at Jeremy as he was about to run away. "Henry, Bitchy Blonde," Wynonna slid a shot glass over to Stephanie. "Haught pants, Baby Girl." Glasses found homes to as many people could fit around the coffee table.

"Not playing, X?" Waverly called over to Xavier who was lingering always in the background, sipping from a bottle of water.

"Designated driver." Was all he said with a shrug.

Nicole sighed as she turned to face the coffee table. "Okay… what are we playing." So much for staying under the radar.

"Never have I ever," Wynonna declared, getting a round of groans. "Oh believe me, it's a lot safer than truth or dare. Ask Henry." She gave him a wink.

Everyone wanted to ask, but it was Jeremy who broke the silent taboo, "What happened to Henry?"

Wynonna laughed, but didn't answer.

As if he knew just explaining wouldn't do it justice, Henry tugged his shirt up, revealing a silver barbell that went through his right nipple.

"Nope." Waverly shook her head. "Just nope."

Chrissy was about to reach out to touch it until Waverly captured her wrist with a shake of her head and Henry lowered his shirt.

Nicole had to laugh at that. "Not a fan of nipple piercings?"

Waverly shook her head. "Nope. Just nope." She crossed her arms over her chest before freezing, turning to look at Nicole. "Why? Is it something you've…"

Nicole cleared her throat,having learned that Waverly's curiosity was immeasurable and would often take over and drive her crazy. Instead of answering, she turned to Wynonna. "So, Never Have I Ever…"

"Everyone knows the rules, but let's go over them for the nerds." Wynonna poured herself a shot just to have one. "We go around the table. One person says something they've never done, and if anyone else has done it, they take a shot. I'll start." With a smirk, she spoke, "Never have I ever gotten straight A's in a quarter."

"Asshole." Waverly laughed, setting her shot glass on the table. She was joined by Jeremy and Nicole almost laughed at the look Waverly gave her when she set her own glass down.

"What? I used to be a brainiac…" Nicole lifted her glass, mentally preparing herself for the shot. "Until I discovered alcohol and sex," she said before drinking the shot. She tried not to laugh as Waverly began coughing up her shot, her face turning bright red. Nicole reached out and gently pat her on the back.

"Well, this is going to be fun." Wynonna rubbed her hands together as she handed the bottle to Jeremy.

"Oh." He looked around in surprise before his face screwed up seriously. He looked like he was trying to conjure an entire army of dark spirits or something nerdy like that before Wynonna gently kicked him. "Okay okay. Never have I ever…" Jeremy paused, his cheeks coloring a bright red, "kissed a boy."

There was a groan as most of the glasses hit the table. Nicole knew her own glass would have probably been the most surprising if it weren't for Henry's glass sliding towards Jeremy. Jeremy's eyes grew twice as big as he stumbled with the bottle of liquor, beginning to fill the shot glasses.

"Something you wanna tell us, Hank?" Wynonna commented with a smirk.

Henry retrieved his filled shot glass with a shrug. "A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell," he commented before swallowing the shot.

They continued around the group once, each turn getting equal amounts of groans and laughter. They'd each had a sufficient amount of alcohol in their system as they began the second round.

It was her turn again as Waverly hummed softly to herself. She tapped her lips, obviously trying to think of something good that hadn't already been said.

"Never have I ever seen such a bigger waste of time," Wynonna commented, nudging Waverly with the tip of her boot.

"Okay okay." Waverly's eyes came up to meet Nicole's before quickly moving away. "Never have I ever kissed a girl in a more-than-friends way."

"Well fuck me." Wynonna sighed heavily as she set her shot glass on the table.

Nicole set her own down, a small spike of curiosity flowing through her as Waverly's eyes kept darting to her and quickly away.

Henry put his glass down and looked at Jeremy.

"Thankfully not me." Jeremy shook his head. Although he'd only had one shot, being so obviously the most innocent of the group, he was still a little more than buzzed. He didn't drink often.

Chrissy set her shot glass down and everyone looked at her. "What? Shit happens when you drink too much." She chuckled.

"Why Chrissy Nedley... as I live and breathe." Waverly laughed as she dished out the shots.

Nicole couldn't help laughing as she retrieved her glass. She was feeling significantly more relaxed and was starting to enjoy the night.

That is, until it came to Stephanie's turn for a second time.

The night had been going a little too smoothly until Stephanie, who'd obviously drank too much, lifted the bottle and pretended to think. Her smirk was thick with malice as she looked across the table directly at Nicole. "Never have I ever wanted to kill myself"

It was as if time slowed down, everyone at the table frozen in a moment of disbelief.

Surprisingly, Wynonna leaned forward to speak. "What the…" Her voice trailed off as Nicole set her shot glass on the table, one eyebrow twitching up in challenge.

Stephanie seemed to find glee in it as she began to fill up the shot glass.

Another clink made the group jump as a second glass hit the table, sliding towards Nicole's.

Nicole barely heard the gasps that went around the room as she followed the path the glass came from, her eyes locking with Waverly's. She froze, not sure if she should say something, or if Waverly even wanted her to say anything. She'd known for a while there was a sadness behind those eyes, but they'd never talked about it.

After a second, Waverly broke the eye contact and looked at Stephanie who seemed frozen in place. "Well, what are you waiting for? Fill it up."

There was another clink, and Wynonna pushed her glass towards the middle, looking at no one but Stephanie with venom in her gaze.

Suddenly there was a fourth glass, then a fifth, then a sixth and Nicole felt her eyes burning with unshed tears. She looked around to see familiar somber faces, each person willing to bring their demons to the surface at that moment.

To her credit, Stephanie didn't dare say anything as she filled the collection of glasses on the table.

Everyone retrieved theirs before Nicole but didn't drink, as if waiting for her to take the lead, each of their glasses filled with the guilt that was too hard to swallow. Nicole lifted her own glass and stared at Stephanie before quickly knocking the shot back.

Without saying anything else, Nicole set the glass down, stood up, and walked away from the table.

"What the fuck, Stephanie?" Waverly turned to her friend. She couldn't believe the girl would be so cruel.

"What?" Stephanie asked in defense. "It's just a game, Waves."

"If you seriously don't see what you did wrong, you need to get the fuck out of my house." Waverly pushed up from her seat, ignoring the shocked silence around her and walking off in the direction Nicole had disappeared. She went from room to room on the ground floor, regretting inviting as many people as had shown up. She'd thought she'd seen Nicole go into the kitchen but when she got there it was empty.

Turning to leave, she didn't expect to run straight into Wynonna.

Wynonna's eyes scanned the room quickly before settling on Waverly.

"Wynonna, I'm trying to find…" Waverly was cut off as Wynonna pulled her into a hug. She froze.

It seemed like forever until Wynonna pushed back, looking in her eyes. "You're the most important person in the world to me. I just wanted to make sure you know that."

After a long moment, Waverly nodded. "I know, Wynonna."

Shifting uncomfortably, Wynonna quickly kissed Waverly on the forehead and pushed her away. "I need a damn beer."

Watching her walk away, Waverly smiled before returning to her search. Not finding her anywhere downstairs, Waverly wound her way between the people to get upstairs. She was about to head towards Nicole's room when she felt a draft coming from under the closed door. Furrowing her brow, she opened the door to find the room empty. On the wall opposite the door, the window was wide open, letting in a gust from outside. "What the…" Rubbing her arms, she moved across the room. "Nicole?"

Nicole sighed softly as she tucked the bottle of vodka into her pocket, lifting the window open. A gust of cold air poured in and Nicole was glad she was wearing thermals under her clothes and coat. Ever so carefully, she stepped out onto the roof, making sure her boots wouldn't slip on the shingles.

The music from down below seemed to shake the house slightly, but with no neighbors for miles, it didn't matter much. Apparently the Earp girls knew a LOT of people, Nicole mused as she took a seat on the roof and pulled out the bottle of vodka, trying not to think too much about the game before.

Maybe she'd gotten used to the cold a little, but she swore it didn't bother her quite as much anymore. Taking a swig from her bottle, she looked up at the stars. She'd spent many nights under the stars back home and it was so strange for the stars to not be where they were supposed to be. Not only that, but there were so many more stars. Back home, the light pollution made it difficult to see more than the larger stars, even in the desert.

But here, on the roof of Gus's house, she could easily see an endless amount of shining pinpoints of light . She could almost see the ribbons of colors wrapped around and defining galaxies, or maybe she was imagining it. Was Shae somewhere up there, between the earth and infinity?

Her parents hadn't raised her to be religious, so she wasn't sure about the afterlife - if there was an afterlife at all. She couldn't imagine heaven or hell, but she knew her dreams were haunted by Shae's presence. She had to wonder if it was helping or making things worse. Either way, she couldn't imagine her life without Shae, even if it meant just in her dreams.

Swallowing another mouthful of vodka, she looked down at one arm, her hand pulling back the sleeves slowly, revealing marred flesh inch by inch. She could still feel it, the pull that came from within, tempting her with promises of peace. It was a strange feeling, knowing that a handful of pills a few times a day was the only thing helping her resist the voice. But now, it was like the idiotic game played by children was almost enough to break the dam of control she'd maintained.

Nicole's mind took her back to that night, when the grief had taken over. She remembered watching her lifeforce escaping her body. She'd never thought that much blood would look like that, the way the color had flecks of texture, not unlike the way metallic paint shined in the light. It was almost as if she could see the red and white blood cells spreading across the desk, watering down as it began to mix with the bottle of vodka she'd dropped when she lost strength in her hands.

"Nicole?"

Pulling her sleeves back into place, Nicole wiped away the tears she hadn't realized had streaked down her cheeks before looking towards the window.

Waverly's head popped out the window, looking around before curious eyes settled on Nicole. "Oh, you're out here…" She let her voice trail off, whether from not knowing what to say or the cold, Nicole couldn't be sure but she saw the girl wrinkle her nose, beginning to rub at her arms to fight the chill.

Nicole nodded. "Yeah, I just needed to get away from the crowd for a few," she said, as if Waverly hadn't been there, witnessing everything that had happened..

"Oh, okay." Waverly paused for a second before disappearing back into the room.

Waverly was so strange sometimes, Nicole thought as she took a drink. And yet, she wondered if she'd been a bit rude, going over her response. It wasn't rude to want peace was it? Did Waverly think Nicole was trying to get away from her to avoid talking about what had happened? That wasn't it at all.

Nicole sighed. It was just another thing she would probably have to apologize for later. Whenever she saw Waverly again. Which came a lot sooner than she thought as she heard a noise at the window and saw Waverly squirming out, this time dressed in more suitable clothes, a blanket in one hand, and a thermos in the other.

"Here, take this." Waverly didn't give Nicole a chance to protest before she handed her the thermos, shaking out the blanket and taking a seat next to Nicole.

Nicole rose an eyebrow as she handed the thermos back. "Hello."

"Hi," Waverly responded simply, uncapping the thermos and pouring the steaming liquid into the cover before handing it to Nicole, who took it more out of polite habit.

"What's this?" Setting her bottle of vodka aside, Nicole couldn't help but be drawn in by the heat being emitted from the drink.

"Hot chocolate." Waverly answered with a big smile before leaning closer.

"You…" Nicole brought the cup up to smell it, surprised by the chocolate scent. "You made hot chocolate?"

Waverly nodded with a proud smile. "Don't be so surprised. It's vegan… including vegan Bailey's and whipped cream flavored vodka."

Nicole eyed it suspiciously.

"It's not poisonous, Asshole." Waverly nudged Nicole's shoulder before taking a drink straight from the thermos.

With a soft chuckle, Nicole took a small sip. She paused for a moment to let her brain try to catch up with her taste buds. After a few seconds, she took a larger sip.

"Mmm hmm. That's what I thought." Waverly took another sip from the thermos before looking up at the stars.

It wasn't traditional hot chocolate, slightly sharper and actually silker, but Nicole enjoyed it nonetheless. "Thank you." Looking up at the stars, Nicole felt a strange shift in the environment, or maybe it was a shift in herself. She had been thirsting for the silence, away from the crowd of teen obscenity that was happening on the bottom floor of the house.

Away from Stephanie.

And yet she didn't mind Waverly's presence. She didn't take up too much space like people often did when invading your privacy.

Waverly sniffled, rubbing a bit of steam away from her face. "I um... I wanted to…"

"Don't apologize for her," Nicole quickly spoke up. She gave Waverly a tight-lipped smile. "There's enough in life we all have to apologize for. You don't need to take the weight of other people's bullshit."

Waverly paused, a pensive look on her face. "I'm not gonna apologize for her," she said softly, looking down into her thermos as she thought about her response. "Stephanie is a bitch and she shouldn't have said that."

"Oh."

Waverly sighed. "But I do want to say I am extremely sorry… from a completely not in my house kind of way… even though it's not really my house, it's Gus's."

Nicole had to smile at that. "So… is that why you came out here? To apologize for something you didn't do just because it happened in a house that's not yours?"

Canting her head to the side, Waverly shrugged. "I wanted to make sure you were okay, which you seem to be. What are you doing out here?"

Finishing the last of her hot chocolate, Nicole set the cup to the side. She leaned back until she was laying on the slant of the roof, feeling the chill of the surface even through her coat. "It's quiet and the view is nice." She pointed up at the sky. "I've never seen this many stars before."

Waverly looked up at the sky and it was quiet for a moment, with the exception of the ever present sound of bass coming from downstairs. "I suppose it would be different for a city girl like you."

Nicole rose an eyebrow as she looked at Waverly, seeing the smile in her side profile. "That's mighty small town of you to say."

"It's not even the best view," Waverly commented as she closed up her thermos, grabbing the cup Nicole had emptied and fastening it to the top. "You should see it from my old house." She sighed softly, seeming to be lost in her own thoughts for a minute. "It's further from town so there's not as much light pollution...Especially in the fall and winter when the skies light up." Her voice was soft and Nicole found herself sitting up to hear better.

"Really?" Nicole could see the emotions in Waverly's face even from the side, a bit of sadness and loss seeming to surface, but when hazel eyes turned her way, it took everything in her not to gasp. With the angle she was sitting at, she could see the glimmer of emotion and an expression she couldn't quite identify - it was like Nicole could see the stars reflected in her eyes.

"Chocolate finally hitting you?" Waverly asked, a smirk spreading across her face and washing away any bit of melancholy that might have been peeking through.

It must have been the alcohol, Nicole told herself as she found herself inspecting the features of Waverly's face. "Yeah." Nicole looked away, her mind spinning. "Must be the chocolate… and all the alcohol."

A comfortable silence fell between them for a minute until Waverly spoke once more.

"You don't really have pierced nipples do you?"

Nicole just laughed.

[spnreactionblogging]

peace of mind

I’m totally out of order at this point but oh well

okay I can't stay away from this episode that led to the gag reel kiss so let's go let's go

I am sad about this snake

I do appreciate how the camerawork and the music changes so much with this like romantic film setup here

charming acres has an immediate pleasantville vibe to it

every time the netflix subtitles say [high pitched ringing] i'm like oh angels are nearby

griffin the retail employee absolutely did not deserve this shit

I know the snake is here for thematic parallels but I think perhaps he is not feeling well because you have him in a plastic box with no heat source, I know you guys don't have google but you do have Search the Web and you could look up what a cornsnake needs and what he needs is not bacon

the wiki for this is killing me like lmao

"History Felix was the pet snake of the gorgon Noah Ophis. He did not like bacon."

there's no fucking way you guys don't have like ten thousand mice running around in kansas fields. throw one in the freezer for a while and give it to felix or something. have castiel use angel powers to make sure it's safe to eat. c'mon.

I love the burmese python they flashed back to in the recap though!! and I love this cornsnake. what good friends. Jack is holding him so gently. I know sad things happen to this snake in the show but I also know in real life the snake is fine so all is well and I hope alexander enjoyed holding and petting this sweet tiny cornsnake

I like this infinity swooshing of the pencil and it feels like limitless creativity to me, symbolically

I do appreciate dean's lifelong affinity for sandwiches, and the lettuce crunching is always funny to me

sam do you have any good memories at this point dude :(

poor sam wants to get out of there even though he's had no rest

I hate how dean rolls his eyes when castiel says jack looks up to him [dean] like... also stop interrupting cas

so i'm like vaguely aware that mind control within the town is part of the plot here so I guess sam is affected as a human but castiel is exempt as an angel? let's see

I like that sam and cas sort of match with their outfits in this episode

sam's hair is looking especially nice

I started yawning too I can't help it

"dean's right, you need to rest" I want all of them to rest

he's so concerned

sam and cas trying to get each other to rest is the biggest sastiel mood

I like griffin's haircut

they're naming themselves after members of Boston this time

cas knows about scanners & its sequels

I love watching castiel drive

I also love the reminder that angels don't sleep and I love that he's up reading while they're sleeping

norman fucking rockwell amirite

never eat food in a fairy realm, sam (or whatever the fuck this shit is) just never eat magic food

I DO love how close they're sitting to each other

LIKE A RIPE MELON ON THE SUN castiel lmfaoooo that's subtle

the mayor works at a restaurant and I appreciate that

"it was an apt metaphor" cas you're killing me

it's also fucking killing me that they can look up the obscure lore for any monster in all of history but they can't figure out what the fuck snakes eat, GET A MOUSE, NOT BACON jesus christ

dean you've seen enough cartoons to know that snakes eat mice. surely. yes? yes????

okay THERE are some mice, please offer one mouse while closely supervised thanks

god i love cas like

"you've gotta have morals. you know." cas just ?????? >:?

castiel implying dick descriptions to sam, holy fuck lmao

sam drinking coffee while saying he needs rest, sam winchester everyone

man this poor guy remembering cell phones exist

is this woman a siren or something?

the "honey?" after he's clearly dead is very scary

"I don't think you have a firm grasp on what snakes eat." this is the exact moment I officially fell in love with Jack

"it's not the snake that's dangerous, it's their bite" okay I get it dean that you're trying to compare this absolutely harmless cornsnake to Jack, who is also trying his best here and not trying to hurt anybody, and I'm here to tell you that a cornsnake (and most snakes, typically) isn't going to bite you unless you get in its face and terrify it and upset it, so.....

also fuck you dean for your little angel/devil test, just get out of here with this shit, people who aren't abusive don't try cute little "tests" with snack food, go away

oh poor cas, but sam was gone :(

"I'm looking for my partner" I know what he means but I like this anyway

I guess headphones are okay for this town? but not phones. hm.

it's the same song in the milkshake place, yeesh

"he has beautiful hair" true.

so the milkshakes/martinis are keeping people magically drugged?

"Oh you!" "Oh you!" "Oh no."

"three, I'm feeling adventurous" EYES EMOJI..........

"Double hockey sticks?" god

I like the implication that maybe "Justin" is POSSIBLY up for a threesome but saying the word "hell" is too much

I like donatello

also you guys should not be bringing that cornsnake around because it looks way too cold for him to be sitting in the car like that, you know he can't regulate his body temperature right!!

dean that cornsnake absolutely cannot hurt you please stop this

donatello has a nice house

"an absence of pity, of empathy, of humanity" okay so dean then

also it's IMPORTANT that there's a black hole at the center of the milky way? the gravitational force keeps it moving does it not like... donatello should know this

I do like the visual of the creamer in the coffee though

the lighting in this kitchen is gorgeous, I like this scene, I like that he has books in his kitchen, I want to live here

"What would Mr. Rogers do?" is a pretty good motto

"what would the winchesters do?" is a pretty terrible motto

y'know jack's a person, you don't have to make this into a weird thing like "who knows what's going on inside his head" come on, man, come on. he's trying his best here

oh it's the mayor. of course.

has castiel always had the ability to rip information out of someone's mind?

"And you know what happened next?" "No, but I have a feeling you're going to tell me." castiel I love you so much

this episode is making me miss andy gallagher though

so sunny is a psychic too? or just resistant to it?

"I won't hurt you, Sam." sob emoji

Sam looks good with glasses

"you have to keep fighting" sob emoji x 1000 for the "always keep fighting" reference

ohhhh she's his daughter that makes sense why she's psychic

"I'm this town I'm god!" "No. You're not. We've met god." "God has a beard." LMFAO

"seems like the snake enjoyed the trip" "hard to say, he's very guarded" dean misses the point entirely "and what about you"

sam sweetheart please take time to process your grief

yeah I think jack just does not quite get what's going on and is taking things pretty literally

protip: find a reptile vet in kansas

this episode was fun I liked it