#suddenly there's someone who actually speaks your language and there's never just one second of silence because there's so much to say!!

[notanotherinfjblog]

Productivity

ENTJ: Do you know those moments when you’ve got so much to do that you have no idea where to even start and so you start making a list of things that are too unimportant to waste your time on right now? But at the same time you’re wasting time by not working on the things that actually are important. You’re just making lists of all the tiny aspects of your work that you can throw out just to make yourself feel like you’re doing something.

INFJ: No, I don’t know those moments. I’m less productive, you see. When I’m overwhelmed by all the stuff I have to do, I panic and stare at the wall for three hours.

ENTJ: You’ve been doing that a lot lately, haven’t you?

INFJ: ... yes.

[ma1dmer]

Call of Duty - Vladimir Makarov NSFW

the first time I went on a date with a slavic man my mother turned to me and told me "I didn't immigrate, for you to be going out with Ivan from the village" anyways, here is ivan from the village

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex): surprisingly he talks, he'll go on and on about the small things in his day to day, his shitty day, the things he's seen since he last saw you, his plans for the future ,especially if you speak his language, in the darkness of your room pressed against each other naked like that, he almost opens up to you

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): he loves legs, he is a man who can appreciate a good high heel to elongate them, loves fucking you in the tights and heels combo, very particular about them too, he sees you walking around in a skirt with a slit up the thigh and heels and he's pulling you to him, asking if this is his present

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically): in the heat of the moment he's so into the idea of cumming on you, messing up that pretty face of yours or leaving his mark on you in a way, but the second that post nut clarity hits he is absolutely disgusted, quickly throws something for you to clean up with while wiping his hand

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): he is a bit of a masochist, its just one of those things he'll never admit and you better not bring them up at any point in any conversation, but it gets him so riled up when you have the balls to slap him back, he doesn't encourage your behavior outside of very specific moments in the bedroom though, it's rare for him to actually allow it, but you can immediately tell when he's in one of those moods, he'll be lost in the feeling of you wrapped around his cock and suddenly yank your hand to wrap around his throat and growl at you to go on

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?): a man with a lot of experience, mostly anonymous hook ups here and there, so it's tough to get him to get used to an actual serious commited relationship, but it's nice, he won't complain with having someone to always warm his bed or wait for him to come back home

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying): the basics, on your back holding your legs as he fucks you, he'll kiss your forehead or cheek growling filth against your sweaty skin, if you turn away from his kisses he forces you to look at him, gets very petty about that

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.): serious and very very intense

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.): all natural, not particularly hairy but he doesn't do anything to it, he always smells very very strongly of cologne as well

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect): not exactly romantic, if you keep him content and his bed warm, he spoils you outside the bedroom, that's his way of showing he cares and his commitment to you, but he keeps his distance in general, he is a greedy greedy man, he wants your full attention but won't give you his unless he is forced to do so

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon): before he thinks of jacking off he first texts you, if you don't answer his texts, he calls you, asks you if you are busy, not really caring for any answer other than "no, my love, what do you want?" ,he'll be stroking himself through his pants as he asks you to come over or tells you he's about to pop in for a bit, if you happen to be busy he'd rather take a shower and wait for when when he can next see you again

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks): power dynamics, impact play, choking etc

L = Location (favorite places to do the do): he keeps his private business behind closed doors, can't stand the idea of other men ogling you

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going): a short skirt, high heels, red lipstick, play a bit of dress up for him, he's a simple man who can still enjoy the simple pleasures of life

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): he does not share, he gets angry with you when another man looks at you, can't even comprehend the thought of bringing someone else in the bedroom, if you even suggest it, you are out, he's gone, and he's fucking every single woman within a 100 mile radius as revenge

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): loves receiving, he is not particularly gentle with it though, he likes things very specifically so he orders you around or straight up moves your head like his personal fleshlight, he also enjoys having a finger or two in him while you give him head, won't talk about it outside the bedroom, but always lifts his hips up or straight up moves your hand to his ass when he fucks your mouth to let you do your thing

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.): rough and fast, he'll take his time to prepare you but once he's inside he's almost single mindedly chasing his own pleasure, you have to keep up with him and take matters into your own hand, enjoys the show greatly

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): not a big fan, if he is at work, he is at work, you don't intrude during that time and he hates nothing more than an impatient brat

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.): not really, he likes things very particularly done, its difficult to convince him to do something new, he's not unmovable but if you insist too much he gets stubborn and will keep denying you

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?): it really depends on the context, how long since he last saw you? how pent up is he? after a success or a failure? how generous is he feeling that night? is he spending the night or needs to fly out in a couple of hours? everything moves with his schedule

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?): he's quite possessive and very self absorbed, he doesn't like the idea of you using them by yourself when he's gone, but can definitely be convinced with something he can control for you

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): he is pretty straight forward, isn't so much a tease as he has a bit of a mean streak, he enjoys the little jump you make when you think he's gonna spank you ,but instead he just gently cups your ass or thighs, will smirk and ask you if you are scared of him or something, tells you to relax and stop being so tense, even though you have legit reasons to be worried

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): grunts and groans and a lot, a lot of dirty talk, especially if he sees it gets a rise out of you, you'd expect him to be quieter but no not really, he makes these deep guttural grunts as he fucks you and curses up a storm, especially in russian

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character): he is a pussy slapper, he eats it with precision and great enjoyment, but he's so mean about it, will coo at you in russian when you flinch at his touch

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes): average length but very thick with a slightly thinner crown, very hard to adjust to

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?): very average, it's common to send you off with a wave of his hand if he is busy, but when the need arises in him he does expect you to drop everything for him

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): this man is a little spoon, he will never admit it or ask, but every night he turns his back to you and expects you to hug him at some point

[heizours]

BREAK UP

summary. asking the genshin men “what would you do if we break up?”

tags. gn! reader, grammatical mistakes may occur

cw. just a mild curse (childe’s part), call signs, and none ig, pls let me know if i forgot something

feat. diluc, venti, childe, scaramouche, ayato

INTRO.

Really, it was just a hypothetical question, and you had no intention of seriously initiating it in the first place.

But, this question has been itching in your mind for the past few days, and you were genuinely curious what would be the reaction or response you will get from him.

Without further ado, you made your way towards him as you tap his shoulder. He didn’t even get the chance yet to turn around and face you, but you’re already here opening your mouth to speak.

“What would you do if we break up?”

DILUC.

He immediately stops whatever he was doing at that moment, before slowly turning around to look at you.

No, he is definitely not searching for a hidden answer that you’re using this question as a gateway to leave him. No, he is definitely not a millisecond away from bringing you to a private corner to ask you if he did something very wrong and come talk about it.

But, seeing the curious look you’re putting up in front of him made his suspicions decrease for a mere moment. Besides, how could he not respond to that question when you’re already probably thinking of leaving him right now? With that, he gave his answer in the most persuading way he could come up with.

“As much as I hope for that moment to never come, I’ll try to listen and understand whatever your heart wishes. Though [Name], if there comes a time that it does happen, I want you to know that I and my heart will always remember someone like you. You loved me and understood me when I felt that no one did.”

His answer didn’t fail to give you the amount of butterflies you’re receiving right now, and the possible events where there is a chance you can leave him are now at the very back on your mind. Because, who in their right mind would even leave the Diluc Ragnvindr? Only a fool would do that. Suddenly, you were snapped out of your thoughts when Diluc gently grabbed the both of your hands and brought it closer to him.

“..Now, it’s my turn. Any idea why would you suddenly ask me that, love?”

VENTI.

Oh dear, he would act that the it doesn’t faze him in the tiniest bit, but he’s actually getting nervous on why are you suddenly pinning him this query out of the blue.

He turns around to face you, while continuing to be cheery as he always do but, if you look and scoot a little closer there is a glint of worry and concern washing over him. 

“Oh windblume, who said that I am leaving you? Kidding! But, before I give my answer, may I ask the reason for it?”

Really it’s just his way of confirming if you have plans of leaving him after this event, or you’re question stands as nothing but a harmless one. As you responded that it’s something he doesn’t need to worry about because you’re just as interested as he is, he felt the wind of relief washing over him. 

In any situation, Venti could stay calm as he can but if it would be anything associated with you, he couldn’t help but feel this gut twist in fear. The bard laid his head on your shoulder to give you the answer you’re looking from him.

“Well, we can never guarantee how much time could a person stay in our lives, but if there comes a time it happens between us, I’ll continue to protect, reach and guide you along the wind. You were the first in all my firsts, and I’m willing to make you as the last of my lasts.

CHILDE.

‘Oh shit’ is the first thing that comes into his mind, ‘Don’t tell me they’re planning to..’ is the second thing that comes into his mind, and ‘But what if it’s a joke?’ is the last thing that comes into his mind before warily facing you.

Tries to take the situation lightly and calmly, and he almost succeeded if it wasn’t for his body language. His confidence and outgoing personality he always shows you slowly vanishes, as nervousness was written all over him.

He kind of acts like a boyfriend who’s overthinking and reflecting on his past actions and words, because why would you suddenly ask him something like this, if you aren’t affected right? Yes, he definitely suspects something is wrong. Regardless the amount of suspicion you are giving him, he obliged to your query.

“It’s quite expected that I’ll have a hard time if that happens, because if I could compare you to something significant to me, you’re like my life source, my home, my rest and my peace. Even if we will remain apart for the mean time, I’ll come back to court you again and again just so you can be with me one more time.”

After hearing your statement related to the suppositional question that it’s completely harmless and you had no intention of commencing it, Childe’s uneasiness morphed into relief as he engulf you in a tight hug but not crushable to crush you.

“I’m thinking that someone had bribe you into this...”

SCARAMOUCHE

He scoffs, not before giving you the most nastiest side eye you’ve ever seen. Though, do not be fooled by his demeanour because there is more to that than what meets the naked eye.

At the back of his mind, something tells him that 50% of that is true that you’re planning to leave him after this and another 50% tells him that it is partially false as you’re just being inquisitive.

Questions his what ifs and it just continues to pile up countlessly, until it comes to the point where he has to vigorously shake his head to snap him out of it. He takes a quick look at you, before fully facing you while his arms are crossed.

“Who put that silly little question in your head? I’ll make sure they would be the ones to leave.”

As he saw you frantically waving in the air that it’s no one else but you who put that question in your head and that he doesn’t have to answer it, he couldn’t help but lightly smile. Sure, most of your antics can annoy him but you’re the only person who can deem him tolerable, and it can be said as the same for you. He let out a sigh, before mumbling something that is only for your ears only, as the heat rises up to his cheeks.

“We won’t break up, and I’ll make sure of that. Even if we do, I’ll just come tailing back to you. You’re such an idiot for thinking that I would do that...Stop it with that smile will you?! Ugh, just come here.”

AYATO.

Raises an eyebrow at you in confusion, then that confusion switches to concern as the scrolls he was busy putting on work was now long gone. He looks up at you who’s simply standing there as if the question isn’t affecting you one bit.

Is someone bad mouthing you? Is someone pressuring you? Did they do something? Who forced you into this? Whatever it is, Ayato is determined to find out what’s the root of this question.

Dating Kamisato Ayato is not a joke, for goodness sake he is a leader of one of the most influential clans in Inazuma, so when the public found out about his relationship with you, of course there will be a pressure and a certain inconvenience given to you.

“Why so sudden with this darling? Is there a problem? Would you like to talk about it? I do not know where is this coming from, but I can assure you that we will find a way to fix it.”

Seeing the surprise look on your face, and the way you sheepishly told him that you were just being nosy about it was enough for him to connect the dots. Good, nothing bad happened and you’re perfectly fine, that’s all that matters to him. But, going back to your question, he smiled at you with a glint of refusal in his eyes before answering.

“I am confident that me or you won’t leave this relationship, even though my work serves as a distraction, that reason alone will not stop us from loving each other. If it does happen in the future and you gave me a valid reason for it, I shall perhaps let you go but that doesn’t mean I will also stop loving you.”

[dailydegurechaff]

Tanya²

Today's Daily Degurechaff is… I’ll do you one better: Tanya³

(+ a small fic I never finished.)

Erich… isn’t sure what he’s seeing. He knows he’s wearing his glasses and he definitely has not been drinking… So what in the world is going on here? Why is he suddenly seeing things in triplicate?

Three of them. There are three little Degurechaff Devils in an office where there should only be one. 

When he’d knocked on her door, she’d called out that she needed a second. He hadn’t listened to her and opened it anyway. He’s regretting that now. Staring at them, both his head and his stomach are starting to hurt. 

All three of them are staring back at him. One is looking at him in abject horror, the next one’s eyes flash in recognition and she actually smiles (even more shocking, she does it in a way that isn’t uniquely terrifying, but perhaps actually cute), and the final squints at him a bit, as though she doesn’t know him. 

One of the three, the one who looks absolutely horrified, opts to greet him after a moment, “Ahaha—… Colonel Lergen… did you need something?” She sounds like she might be freaking out a bit. Erich feels similarly to her.

The second Degurechaff, the one who had smiled at him, turns her head to look at the first. She looks confused now. “Did you just say ‘Lergen?’ Not Rerugen?”

The first responds again. While she sounded nervous a second ago, it’s forgotten as she turns to her counterpart, “Seriously? You’ve been speaking this language for over a decade and your accent is that bad? Yes, I definitely said Lergen. Why would you pronounce it Rerugen?”

Now it’s the third one’s turn to speak, “No, I agree, it’s definitely pronounced Rerugen, but… this isn’t him. Rerugen has dark hair and brown eyes… and if I’m going to be honest, a fairly unfortunate haircut too. This guy looks too normal to be Rerugen.”

Degurechaff One immediately disagrees, “What are you even talking about? Lergen’s always had blonde hair and blue eyes.”

The second one backs her up, “Yeah, I agree this is definitely the right sort of coloration, but… now that I’m looking at him, Rerugen is supposed to be more handsome than this.”

“Handsome?! Has Being X poisoned your brain that badly?” Number Three yells at Number Two.

Two snaps back at her immediately, “That’s not what I meant at all, and you should know that! I meant by conventional standards! You know, stronger jawline, sharper features!”

Did— did she just say he was ugly?

Before the other two start arguing, the first one cuts them off, “Hold on. Are we sure we’re all talking about the same person here? Maybe you both are thinking of someone else, this is Colonel Erich von Lergen, my superior, formerly a part of Personnel, but now he works in Operations in the General Staff. He’s been looking out for me for a while now. For example, he made an effort to keep me off the frontlines, and when I was stationed in the southeast, he gave me a preliminary warning that Dacia would invade. Things like that. He’s a very good superior. Does any of that seem familiar?”

“Ah… that does seem to match up with who I was thinking of. I wonder why he’s so different from what I know…”

Now that Erich’s kind of over the shock now, he’s a bit tired of being talked about like he isn’t here. Interrupting the conversation between them, he finally speaks, “Degurechaff… what is going on here?”

All three seem to remember that Erich is actually here and a part of the conversation suddenly. They turn back to look at him, but none of them seem to really know what to say, faces varying shades of hesitation, confusion, or irritation.

The way they act and carry themselves is… actually slightly different. Looking closer at them, maybe it’s only that there’s one Degurechaff and two extremely close doppelgängers? If he studies them, yes they’re close enough to be siblings, but there’s differences between each.

The first one is the one he recognizes, the one who looks as he expects her to and also is getting his name and appearance correct. She’s just the slightest bit taller than the other two, but it’s a marginal thing. She’s paler than the other two in all aspects, a corpse-like pallor to her skin, hair colored platinum blonde, and eyes the color of ice. When he meets her gaze, it’s easy to tell her apart. It’d be impossible to mistake those disconcerting eyes that look a bit dead, or perhaps look like she’d want everyone around her dead if it’d bring her a bit of peace. So this one he mentally categorizes as ‘Original Degurechaff,’ or perhaps more accurately ‘The Degurechaff That I Know.’

The second one that he heard speak— the one who had called him ugly?— is the smallest of the three. Of course, Degurechaff has always been small, but this one beats the other two. Actually, she even looks younger than the others, if that was even possible, and honestly she kind of acts like it as well. She has shorter, curlier hair than the others, and it’s much brighter in color— much closer to gold than platinum blonde. Compared to the one he knows, she seems more… emotive, perhaps the best word for it is. So this one has to be ‘Little Degurechaff’ or something to that effect.

The third one is about a midpoint between the two in hair color and stature, though her hair is a right mess. A prominent flyaway sticks out of the top of her head, refusing to lay flat. Framed by pale lashes, her eyes are a more vibrant blue than either of the others, but they’re just as cold-looking and tense. He wouldn’t call any Degurechaff patient, but this one gives him the impression she’s much more irritable than the others. Her uniform is also starkly different from the other two, who are almost matching, but all three carry a recognizable Silver Wings Badge. This one… perhaps he should denote her as the ‘Irritable Degurechaff’? She’s always been irritable, though, hasn’t she?

The designations are a start, but still he has to wonder... Why? Why is this happening?

Ah, hold on. Is that it? Is this a punishment from God, specifically designed to torment me?

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Arvin and kieran meeting a shy but sweet new girl with this team.

Tapu koko who through some magical shenanigans can't be more then a mile away from the girl with out falling incredibly ill.

A motherly salazle who has a charm that allows her to talk English

A blood moon ursaluna who's the girls main body guard and hes very protective

And a female iron valiant who acts like a big sister. Who threatens anyone that if they hurt the girl she'll cut them down

Gotta say I appreciate the addition of Blood Moon Ursa. Officially my fav gen 9 ground type <3

............

Arven

The moment he met you, he realized you were too nice for your own good sometimes...being the shy and sweet transfer student who winds up being his partner in many classes.

He might tease you from time to time, although he lightens up only after he realizes Mabosstiff likes you--which mean he has to like you as well and not accidentally be too rude.

During battle studies, you two have a match and he's shook when you suddenly bring out Tapu Koko.

Somehow you have a powerful Alolan Guardian deity wrapped around your finger...yet you never once bragged about it.

But Arven fully believes you have a Ditto or Zorua who just chooses to impersonate a Tapu, wondering when it's gonna drop the act.

Soon he finds out that nope, it's the real deal, and you have some strange connection that doesn't allow it to wander too far from you.

Otherwise, it falls violently ill and its magic abilities are weakened.

You're certain it was hexed by someone who wanted to punish it for its mischief, so you've been travelling around hoping to find a "cure".

And ofc that meant Koko had to abandon its duties at Melemele Island and become your Pokémon. It was reluctant at first, but quickly became a loyal friend to you.

Eventually Arven meets the rest of your team, including a female Iron Valiant that escaped from the crater and made herself your ally after saving you from trouble.

She's your literal knight in shining armor, acting like a big sister figure instead of an emotionless robot programmed to attack.

Oftentimes she comes out of the pokeball herself if she senses you're in any kind of danger.

Blood Moon Ursaluna is another bodyguard of yours....who is MASSIVE and utterly terrifying.

All you did was go to Kitakami on a school trip and you suddenly come back with an ancient Ursaring variant/evolution??

How tf are you picking up so many dangerous Pokémon?

Just when he thinks Salazzle is the only "normal" one on your team...

He finds out that she can actually talk, addressing him by name and asking what he was cooking one day.

For a split second he thinks her pheromones/toxins were making him hallucinate...until he sees you having a full blown conversation with her.

It turns out that she developed the ability to speak human language, using it to scare off a group of male Salandits who were threatening you.

At first, she only ever said random words she picked up from humans, but you taught her how to speak coherently and gave her some books...and now she's 100% fluent in English.

All in all, Arven finds your team very...diverse.

You don't really do many Pokémon battles, as they all act like your bodyguards/friends instead. But then again he's never been too battle-crazy either (unlike a certain girl he knows who'd give ANYTHING to battle Tapu Koko).

Kieran

Your personality kinda reminds him of his old self: shy and sweet, oftentimes hiding behind protective figures, etc.

Part of him kinda hated it, but he was good at hiding it.

Was instantly impressed by your Pokémon team, especially the robotic-looking Gardevoir/Gallade hybrid.

Although being a country boi he's bewildered about her LED eyes and her robotic trills, and is definitely not too thrilled about all Pokémon looking like her in some distant/potential future.

Tapu Koko leaves him bewildered, especially when you explained your connection to it while it roamed around the coastal biome, reminiscing about its home in Alola.

He's heard rumors of the Blood Moon Ursaluna back in Kitakami, not caring for it as much as Ogerpon, but he NEVER expected to see that someone like you could have tamed it.

During a battle, Incineroar's flames almost burned you, and your Ursaluna was enraged and knocked him out with one Headlong Rush. Completely unprompted.

Since then Kieran made a point to instruct the feline to be more precise with his fire attacks..lest he became weak.

You impressed the League Club with your talking Salazzle...but at first he believes you're just being irritating and distracting..

Until she talks to him directly, and he's like "...oh wowzers..so you can understand me????"

That's the most shocked anyone in the club has ever seen their leader...

Being motherly as she is, your Salazzle often asks how he's feeling and how Hydrapple is....and he usually shuts down and tells her to mind her business.

But after Area Zero's events, when she asked him again he broke down crying and the poison/fire lizard lowkey panicked.

She had to get you to calm him down.

Since then you two have become close friends, and while in the beginning he was envious of your unique team (that also reminded him of somebody else), he realizes you thought his Hydrapple and battle setups were unique, too.

It honestly made his day.

[maskedteaser]

I feel you about rdr2, I feel like I'm walking through a desert with no water😭

But if you don't mind me requesting something...

Maybe Sean or Kieran (or whoever you want, I'm fine with anybody) with a crush on s/o who's just an absolute ray of sunshine and they're too nervous to ask s/o out because of this

hii! i'm so glad to be able to do my first request ever! hope you like it! I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes - english is not my first language! requests are open. Sorry it took so long to write - it is like...my second time writing an actual thing with plot in english! [not proofread i'm sorry i cringed too hard when i tried to read it] CW: none? i think? mentions of alcohol if you squint in javier's part the spanish petnames he uses are feminine(?) but i think there is no other use of any gender comfirming things so i guess it's gender neutral reader fic? ALSO THEY ARE PROBABLY OOC IM SO SORRY :((( 05.06.2024. signed TEASER 📺 [ BANNERS ARE MADE BY ME! ]

SEAN MACGUIRE

You were ethereal in his eyes. Always shining, blooming, filling every space you were in with joy and feeling of safety. Soft hair sparkling in the sun, pupils always wandering around, looking for a sad soul to cheer up. Hands in the air, moving around uncontrollably when you tried to tell a story, gesturing the things that you were imagining. Truly mesmerising, he felt like he just had to have you, but his every attempt at flirting with you was just taken as a joke, rewarded by a small smile from you, a little giggle, and it broke his heart, making it rush at the same time.

But Sean MacGuire was an impatient man. Impatient and so obvious with his emotions. Expressive, always made it known when he felt good or bad, when he was falling apart (which was a really rare sigh anyways) or his heart was full of passion. But you made it easy to feel euphoric and then send him to the lowest mental state he could ever be. He couldn't wait to tell you how he wanted you to be his and only his, but for some reason - you were always busy, someone always wanted to talk with you, stealing your attencion. And when you were free, he was too stunned to speak. That never happened in his entire life! His never ending monologue, his mouth that was always talking, everything stopped. Sean MacGuire smiled, excused himself for bothering you and left, leaving you confused but a smile didn't leave your soft lips. He was sitting alone, planning a new way to confess to you. Never in his life would he admit that he was, simply but truly, scared. Of rejection? Maybe. Or of the fact that you might take it as a joke. That would be even worse in his eyes. Sean suddenly remembered the fact that Arthur one day came up to him and asked about his relationship with you, he said that it was so horrendously obvious that he likes you, that he's sweet on you, but he also told him that he might be too simple for you. Too straightforward but at the same time - not cultured enough. Bascially telling him that he might be too dumb for you, straight into his poor face, into his lost puppy eyes. The truth was that, in fact, Sean was just lost without you. With you around, he felt like a better version of himself. That's why he wanted you so badly. He asked Lenny to teach him to read, so he could become a well-read person for you. But Sean MacGuire was an impatient man. Abandoning his mission after only few pages. His impulsitivity took over, he decided that if he's not the one for you, it's better to know as soon as it's possible. In case he had to move on, in case you decide to break his young, so obsessed with you heart. Stealing Dutch's cologne, Lenny's good shirt and wearing his only pants that were clean and somehow not holey - he got ready for you. He even washed his hair in the river, using actual soap that one of the girls from the camp once gave him. What a sweetheart. His plans were suprisingly really detailed. Sean wanted to pick some flowers for you and ask you to go to the town with him, he wanted to mount his horse, see you mount yours and go. But his dreams and distant goals got interrupted by hearing your voice coming near his tent. — Sean! Javier was just asking if you... — you didn't finish your sentence. Halfway in his tent, you laid your eyes on him, clearly preparing for some event. A date? Maybe? How could you know? — Oh! Sean, you look really good! What happened? — you looked up, his soft hair, freshly washed, much more shinier, looking healthy for once. — you washed your hair, so it must be something big. — you added, smiling. It was semi-dark in his tent, light being casted only by a little lamp with a candle inside of it. So you couldn't see how his cheeks got redder when he heard your compliment. — well, I actually...You know... — he started, nervously, but who wouldn't be nervous in that kind of a situation? Being caught preparing for a date, that wasn't even accepted by the other side in the first place. — It is something big. — Sean's voice still had his iconic cheerfulness, but you could hear the little shakes in it as well. But you didn't interrupt, you listened. He took a deep breath and said quickly, his accent almost making it incomprehensible — I was wondering if you'd like to go to the town with me and maybe you know have a drink or two? Like a party, just the two of us, you know? Ay, yeah! Actually I also wanted to say that I really like you! Maybe love...Yeah, that might be a better word for that. I love ya. So? Would you like to go with me? — he looked up at you, his heart beating so fast, he could almost hear it. It's now up to you. Do you agree or not?

JAVIER ESCUELLA

Absolutely smitten with you. Sitting by the fireside on a warm night, you were situated at the opposite side of the fire, watching people that were finishing their chores around the camp. Your delicate presence, hair moved by wind, shining eyes. His mind was in a different place. Holding his guitar, trying to play and sing, but you were distracting. It was almost impossible to get him to the state that he forgot how to play, but with you around, he literally seemed like he just bought this intrument, constantly making little mistakes. Blood rushing to his cheeks every time he got out of rhythm or the sound his guitar made was closer to a scratch than to any melody. But you seemed to not mind, accepting him the way he was, quietly giggling, but not laughing at him, you were just so full of happiness, your gaze only encouraged him to keep playing and he loved it. Loved you. Badly.

But he felt like loving you was never enough, since you seemed to never actually acknowledge his feelings, the deep desire that made his dreams full of you. Everything reminded him of you. You joined the gang a few months ago, how could you fuck him up so badly in such a short period of time? Wrapped around your finger, willing to give you the entire world if you asked him to. He just knew that you'd never ask him to, you were just too...good. You never asked for help yourself, but always wanted to help others. Putting everyone above yourself, taking care of everyone, even Micah, who said so much bad things about you, spitting poison at you every time you walked by, but when he felt ill, you still was a first person to give him health cure.

Javier could only watch from afar. Fascinated, hypnotised by your moves, your energy, how your voice could put everyone in a good mood. When you were telling stories, you'd tell them with so much passion, but when someone else needed to be listened - you were all ears, asking questions, made everyone feel welcomed and safe. He sometimes really thought that you are not real, that you are an angel sent to the camp in those hard times.

Lost in his thoughts again, he missed a string while playing and his guitar made another weird sound. Immediately grounded by that, he looked in the direction you were sitting, only to realise - you were not there anymore. He started looking for you, and he saw that you were sitting next to him. How could he not notice? God, were his reflexes that poor? If it was a life threatening situation, he'd probably be dead by now.

— I noticed that you are a bit lonely here, Javier, — the way his name slipped of your lips so softly, how he'd kill to hear his name coming from that sweet mouth again and again, until he lost his senses. — Mind if I keep you company? You seem stressed, is something bothering you? — when he heard your voice, and your body getting a bit closer to him, his muscles tensed. He put his guitar away, gently, laying it on a ground, leaned it against the barrel that was near.

— what can I say, hermosa. — he sometimes called you Spanish pet names, because he was sure you didn't understand them (if you could, well, he was not aware...) — There is that one girl that completely took over my mind and I can't focus on anything else because of her. She's not even mine, but I'm jealous of everyone that makes her laugh. It's probably wrong, but it's the truth. She's like a milagro walking on this sad country, healing everyone with her presence, so I'm almost certain I don't deserve her, but oh...I can always dream, can't I? — he could swear you put a spell on him. He never meant to open up about his feelings, especially not around you, especially talking about you.

What a fool he was. He couldn't even manage to raise his eyes up to meet your gaze, so he was not able to see the sadness flicker in your face, soft sigh escaping your lips, which was a sign of your heart getting a bit broken, he taken it as a sign of stress and fatigue.

— do you want me to help you with asking her out? I'm a woman myself so I know what most of us like to do... — you said, and oh, he knew that it would happen. Your first thought when someone has a problem is to help them out, any way you can, no matter your own feelings and struggles.

— tell me...how your perfect date would look like? I think she's really similar to you, she might enjoy the same things. — he said, still nervous, his eyes locked on the ground.

So you started to talk about your perfect date. How you'd spend it, and his head was full of ideas by now. He knew exactly where to take you, what to do, so when you finished your monologue, he offered, finally looking up, making eye contact:

— are you free tonight, angelita? Your wish is my command. — his cheeks a bit red, the orange light from nearby fire slightly shining on his skin.

Not it was up to you if you'd like to go with him. What do you say?

KIERAN DUFFY

Oh, that poor boy. His heart couldn't take it. The only person that showed him any kind of affection in this camp, the only one that cared, listened to him, believed him. When he was still tied to the tree, he used to spend all day looking at you with fascination, trying to understand who you were to other gang members, his gaze was subtle, always looking away just in time before anyone would notice. But he was sure you would never look at him the way he looks at you, and his heart ached every time he reminded himself of the fact that he was just a stranger in this camp, he was considered a spy, traitor, enemy. Yet you still treated him with such kindness and care, always asking if he needs anything, if you can do something to ease his pain and stress.

Sometimes you sat near him and talked with him, not caring about what others might think, saying that as long as there is no proof of him doing anything wrong, you will not act like he is a criminal. And he was honestly so thankful for that. He was not sure what he deserved to have you as some sort of ally, but since you were the only one he trusted (even if it was only a little bit) he started to actually feel something deeper than friendship towards you.

He didn't want to admit that it was love. But if not love, then what was it? Unreasonable high blood pressure when he saw you, his eyes sparkly, heart beating faster, his body always felt so full of life, shattering when he saw that someone disrespected you or treated you badly. He couldn't do anything, so he just watched when Micah, because he was literally the only one that ever mistreated you, decided to yell at you. He could only sigh, waiting for you to come to him and moan about how you hate this blonde, egocentric guy.

His most common way of showing his affection to you was by taking care of your horse while listening to you, always remembering everything you said, whether it was a mention of your favourite food, people that you like, your dream future or what beautiful clothes you saw at the shop when you travelled to town the other day. Your complaints that you couldn't afford them though... How Kieran wished he could be rich, so he could buy you those clothes, so he could see you happy. But he knew he could never be able to do that.

He dreamed of asking you out. You were on his mind all day and night, but, god, how was he supposed to do that? He couldn't leave the camp, and if he could, it was supposed to be a fishing trip or something, no going to town, no having too much fun, no buying things (he had no money anyways).

So the day you came to him and said that Micah once again told you that you are an useless addition to the camp, instead of passive listening and nodding his head, he actually asked: — how about we go fishing? I will teach you how to do that so next time he says something like that, you can prove him wrong by bringing bunch of fishes to the camp! — his voice started to shake at the end of his sentence, when he understood that he is basically asking you out on an almost date. He looked at you with hope in his eyes.

— fishing? I don't know if Micah would consider fishing as an useful skill...I don't think if anything that is done by a woman is useful in his eyes. I actually believe he might be jealous of Dutch, he wants him all to himself... — you said, giggling a bit. And Kieran had to agree with you. The way Micah was always complimenting Dutch was actually a bit concerning, but as long as he could stay in this camp, he didn't want to ask. He guessed that "that's how the things are in this gang".

— well, you're probably right. He will treat everyone badly regardless of their hard work. But hey, fishing is a nice thing to do anyways, right? I promise you, it's really relaxing! — Kieran was nervous, of course, but you could also see an honest, bright smile on his face, he showed signs of happiness, and that was something really nice to see.

So? Do you agree to go with him? It's your choice. 

pls give me any feedback, even as anons <3 much love, teaser

[icallhimjoey]

Explain Us

♥ ♥  Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: So, more than flatmates... but, what exactly? Would be fantastic if you would just, you know, talk about it. But communicating is not your strong suit and you're extremely certain that it's fine. Confusing and vague, but, fine.

CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, a continuation of define close, no need to read it to enjoy this, though it will help!, language

Author’s note: yea joe fucked up. not talking is fixing exactly nothing between the two of you. but we can be adults about this, can't we? (we can't)

Wordcount: 4.1K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

You’d held on extra tight all night.

Squeezed with your fingers, your arms all tense, because what if Joe wasn’t joking and this was the last time you’d get him all to yourself like this? There was this shared invisible way of being that you’d created together which you had always pretended was just normal flatmate behaviour.

It wasn’t.

Of course it fucking wasn’t. And now that Joe had casually said he was moving, your brain seemed to have shut down.

Just touch. Keep touching.

What would you even be to each other if not flatmates? If forced proximity wasn’t working in your favour anymore?

Just friends?

You had to swallow down bile at the mere suggestion of being just friends with Joe.

Flatmates was such a safe way to describe each other.

It just meant, yea, we live in the same space. We share our comfort zone. We see each other a lot and are kind of like family a little, just because of that.

People never asked questions.

There was no need to explain how well you knew each other. How much time you spent together. People would hear 'flatmate' and would assume.

They would assume wrong, because there definitely was more there. But it wasn’t weird when they witnessed you laughing at inside jokes together. Or if they heard you ripping each other to shit until you ended up in a weird wrestle that didn’t stop until someone knocked an elbow to a table top too hard. Or if they heard you casually talk to Joe through a door whilst he was sat on the toilet without acknowledging that he was, you know, actively sat on the toilet.

The term flatmate was safe.

But it was also scary.

Because how many of the other flatmates you’d ever had did you still speak to?

Precisely none.

Not that you’d had many previous flatmates. But still. You didn’t speak with any of those people anymore. They were now merely vague acquaintances that held a spot on your Facebook friend list, which was utterly meaningless, because who even still used Facebook these days?

They’d been chapters in your life that you’d so easily moved on from.

People who, if you’d see them down an isle in a shop, you’d avoid them at all costs and pretend you hadn’t seen them.

You’d never even fully considered that Joe would also one day turn into a chapter of your life that you’d have to avoid in a supermarket and wasn’t that just the most fucked up stupid thing you’d ever even heard?

You knew you were avoidant.

Didn’t really dabble in foolish shit like confrontation.

So it made sense that you weren’t exactly doing so great now that you were being confronted with how avoidant you actually were.

Joe said he was going to move out.

The pile of clothes outside of his wardrobe suddenly made sense.

Had he not said anything before? Had you just not paid attention? Not registered what you didn’t feel like registering? Was your brain working against you with that much conviction?

Felt wild.

But it took you maybe five seconds to decide that you were not going to freak out.

You could be totally cool about this.

Have a night of cuddled up sleep like Joe hadn’t just said he was going to leave you after you’d properly fucked for the first time and, if you wanted to freak out later, you could do that by yourself in a locked bathroom with the shower running after he’d moved out.

So you tried to sleep.

Couldn’t. Because your mind kept going.

But you tried.

Tried relaxing every time you noticed that your fingers were digging into his flesh.

Couldn’t.

But you tried.

And Joe’d just fallen asleep like he hadn’t just dropped a huge bomb into his bed. Like everything wasn’t suddenly shattering all around you. Wasn’t all falling apart. Wasn’t forcing you to slip on your armor, your mask, your disguise. The one you’d wear when you and Joe were around others. Where you pretended to be normal and helpful and friendly and not touching and kissing and essentially licking each other all over.

You’d have to wear the disguise for Joe.

What a disgusting turn of events.

Could you blame him? Yes.

Were you going to? No.

You could be the cool girl. Keep Joe around. Not scare him off with questions like, “How long have you known about this?” and, “Is this legally even allowed?” and, “What the fuck do you even think you’re doing?”. Questions that definitely all needed answers, but you weren’t going to ask them.

You’d learn the answers along the way, you were sure.

Cool girl.

Come dawn, you had managed to stuff your own emotions down somewhere deep. Hoped they’d stay down there until you decided they could bubble back up.

You also hoped that where your cheekbone pressed into his hair would somehow leave a bruise there. On both of you. So he could feel and see how fucked up this was.

Joe’s alarm went, and you swallowed all feelings even further down.

Closed your eyes and felt Joe stir.

Felt him remove the arm that had stayed in place around your waist to turn the alarm off.

Heard him groan and move back to snuggle up close again, and for a minute, you decided to fully just enjoy it for what it was. Closeness with the guy you liked.

Fuck.

The guy you liked.

You let a hand snake into his hair as you felt him burrow back into your neck. Classic five-more-minutes move. When you softly scratched at his scalp, Joe moaned.

All drawn out.

All sleepy.

“Gon’ make me drool,” he croaked, voice hoarse and low. “Fall back asleep.”

You could burst at the seams with how much you wanted that.

Tightening up a leg around his, you used your other hand to lightly stroke fingers up and down his back and felt how Joe sank deeper.

Was this not the nicest thing ever?

Was Joe not going to fucking miss this?

Why the fuck was he going to move?

Joe allowed himself your touches for a few more minutes before a forced deep inhale pulled him from your grasp on him. It was still dark outside, and when Joe disappeared for a morning shower, you contemplated your next move.

Go to your own bed, fall back asleep, and then hopefully sleep through the whole day?

Or go wash your face, do your make-up, and get ready for the day?

Or have breakfast now, and disappear into your bathroom when Joe would have his?

Yea.

That seemed smart.

Breakfast now and then get ready for the day when Joe would come in to have his.

You got out of Joe’s bed, let your eye fall on the big pile of clothes and decided that, in some weird sort of passive-aggressive-possessive way of feeling, that you deserved one of his hoodies.

That you could wear that today.

Make him see something.

You didn’t fully know what, exactly, but it felt right.

You fished one out, not even one that sort of looked like one of yours, and took it.

Get fucked, Joe.

You only just finished a bowl of granola when Joe stepped into the kitchen, his phone and a balled up pair of socks in hand.

“Movers should be here soon,” he checked the time on his phone, tried to make conversation maybe, but you didn’t know what to say. Didn’t want to talk about it.

You watched him hike one knee up to put a sock on, balancing unsteadily on one leg, and then as you walked past him to leave the room, you couldn’t help but let a hand slide across his back.

Last time you got to do that? Maybe.

Shit.

About 10 minutes later the doorbell went and you checked out the window to see a large moving van waiting outside.

When you moved house, you did that by forcing your friends and family to come haul cardboard boxes for you, and you’d thank them by having cheap beers in your new place that didn’t have any unpacked furniture yet.

Not Joe.

Joe got a company to come do all the work for him.

Three men brought in stacked up big industrial strength plastic moving bins and big rolls of plastic sheeting and... it was actually real.

Joe was moving out.

You didn’t even know where to. You could guess. But you didn’t know anything.

You hid in your bedroom for most of it. Made tea with your back turned to all the chaos at one point, but truly didn’t involve yourself in any of the chaos.

From your bedroom you heard Joe pointing out what needed packing. What didn’t need packing. What needed extra care.

It didn’t take all that long. Just as well. Joe was paying these people.

You listened to Joe tell one of them that someone was at the other address, so they were good to head over. Said he’d meet them there later.

The front door shut, and you stared at your bedroom door for a moment. Tried to imagine what Joe’s bedroom looked like now, all empty. And the living room, now without the big cabinet Joe kept old DVDs in that he never watched but didn’t want to get rid of, because teenage-him had begun a collection, and these were the best films.

You kind of didn’t want to see it. The new emptiness.

But then a soft knock on your door pulled you from your thoughts.

“Yea?” So casual. So laid-back.

Slowly, your door opened, and Joe got to see how you sat on the edge of your bed, heels on the frame, knees to your chest, wearing his hoodie.

Joe leant in the doorframe, head tilted to the side, hands in his pockets, and he looked at you like he felt sorry a little. Apologetic in the worst way. You kind of hated it, but you didn’t want to let him see.

Cool girl.

“Wanna come see the new place?” he asked it like he really hoped you’d say yes but fully expected you to say no.

Which was exactly why you were not going to say no.

“Sure.” you shrugged.

“Yea?”

You got up and grabbed your phone, took it off its charger and pretended to check something, mostly to avoid eye-contact and seem all casual as you said, “Yea, why not. I can help you unpack. Don’t have anything better to do.”

Joe didn’t move aside when you stepped closer, and when you looked up, you were met by his little smile, tongue pushed into his cheek whilst his eyes scanned you up and down a second.

Be cool.

You didn’t know if you wanted Joe to say anything about the hoodie you were wearing.

“Or not, if you don’t want my help?” you shrugged again, face blank, and Joe fucking saw right through you.

He chuckled to himself as he removed his hands from his pockets to grab hold of you by the fabric draped over your shoulders, and he pulled you in for a hug.

One that you didn’t return.

“Don’t have to help,” Joe muttered as he squeezed you tight and, yea okay. So, you didn’t get your arms involved, but you could definitely rub your face into his chest a second.

Feel his strong embrace and close your eyes a second.

Smell him a second.

“Won’t put you to work, just want you to come see.”

Cool girl.

Just friends now.

Future acquaintances.

Strangers, eventually.

Joe hugged you even tighter until it became so tight it was funny.

“Fine.” you sarcastically complained, voice all constricted because Joe wasn’t letting up. “Won’t lift a finger.”

You avoided looking at the empty spaces in your flat that used to hold Joe’s things and then left the flat together.

On your way to Joe’s new place you walked side by side and you kept your eyes on the pavement for most of it. Kept your arms crossed over your front. Made sure you were extra spatially aware, because Joe had said that you always bumped into him when you walked together, and you were ready to prove him wrong, prove that you were actually an excellent walking-partner.

Like that was something that was on Joe’s mind right now.

Like he wasn’t in the middle of moving house.

And then, Joe talked.

And you just listened. Nodded along. Went, “Oh, all right.” and, “That’s cool.” and, “Mhmm.” a bunch.

There were several months left on the lease, and Joe offhandedly said it was taken care off, that you didn’t need to worry, like it wasn’t a huge sum of money he was talking about.

Said it would give you some time and space to find someone else, a new flatmate, no rush.

Said his new flat was really nice, and Joe said that like your flat wasn’t.

Said his new flat was in a really nice area. Like your flat wasn’t.

It was.

But, you understood that this one was likely nicer.

You didn’t comment or ask any questions. It just was what it was and you were going to have to deal with the reality of the situation whether you wanted to or not.

No point in pushing anything.

Best to just go with the flow.

You weren’t enjoying the flow, but you were definitely letting it float you downstream.

Joe’s dad was over at his new place now, and halfway there, Joe got a call from him. The movers had arrived, and was there a way to prop the front door open, did Joe know?

Joe didn’t know, but he said he’d be there soon.

Said he was bringing an extra pair of hands and looked at you as he said it. You raised your eyebrows in surprise, and Joe quickly said, eyes.

He was bringing an extra pair of eyes.

However, you were absolutely going to be helping, you knew. Roll up your sleeves and do some heavy lifting, if only to keep yourself busy. And you’d be silly about it, rolling eyes and sighing loudly, all heavy with pretend annoyance, sarcastically exclaim “I thought I was meant to just come over and get a tour?” and then his dad would make fun of Joe for being less of a help than you, and Joe would scoff loudly and stumble through excuses, and then you would flex an unimpressive bicep, and you’d all laugh.

Nothing was going to be a problem unless you made it one.

And then it sort of went like you had predicted.

You walked past the moving van, ended up helping getting furniture into the lift, and the first thing his dad saw of you was your back as he held a door open so you and Joe could carry a cabinet inside.

Then, quickly, before his dad could launch a million questions at him, Joe invited you on a grand tour of the place. Made his dad smile as he listened to his son saying stupid things like, “This is the living room that won’t have a sofa for at least six more weeks because apparently delivering sofas takes for fucking ever...” and, “Here we have a lovely view of, just... other flats, no, don’t actually look, it’s not a nice view, but it’s fine, I didn’t buy the place for the view, looking outside is overrated...” and, “Instead, be impressed with the size of the kitchen, and ignore the mystery drawer that we’ve not been able to open yet.”

Idiot.

Fuck.

Joe was really moving into his own flat. One roughly the same size as yours. Not even that much nicer, you thought, as he showed you ‘round.

But it was all his, and he seemed proud and embarrassed about it, which was devastatingly cute.

You were obviously going to kind about it. Be all impressed. Be a good friend. Postpone the supermarket-avoiding by actually being friendly.

“This is so nice!” you said after you’d gotten to see all rooms. His bed had been taken apart and movers had just placed the pieces of it in a stack alongside one of his bedroom walls, mattress wrapped in plastic stood upright next to it.

Felt stupid, because that wasn’t your bed, but... that was kind of your bed.

“Yea, you think? Not too flashy?”

It wasn’t flashy at all. The bathrooms didn’t look like they’d been redone since 2004, maybe.

“Just that you were able to buy it,” you joked, but weren’t wrong. Buying property in this area of London was absolutely the most ostentatious thing Joe’d ever done. “Everything else? Shockingly normal. There’s Ikea flatpacks in the hallway for fuck’s sake!”

Joe laughed, which in turn made you laugh, and fuck off, you were sort of killing this cool girl thing.

Made Joe laugh when in all honesty you didn’t think he was allowed to feel all joyful right now.

Well, he did.

This was a big deal.

And it wasn’t like you were going to be flatmates forever, were you?

People moved on. People found new phases of life. Next steps. Onto bigger and better things.

In Joe’s laughter, he bent. Leant back with his eyes squeezed shut, reached a hand out to balance himself and it was fine when he just grabbed your arm. You had your arms crossed over your chest, protective and closed off, so a hand gripping a bicep just to keep a body from falling over was fine. You were laughing too, it was fine.

But then Joe used his grip to pull you closer and slung his other arm over your shoulder, and with your arms still folded, Joe pulled you right into him as he hugged you.

You accepted it, but you didn’t.

Wanted to unfold your arms and make your fronts touch, but you didn’t.

Wanted to violently push him away and scream and cry because why hadn’t he fucking said anything.

But you didn’t.

Instead of all those things, you just tensed up in Joe’s hold. Locked your shoulders and bit at the inside of your lip and prayed Joe wouldn’t notice.

Joe immediately noticed.

Without letting go, Joe moved his head back just far enough to get a look at your face. He could easily detect the upset. Could easily see how exhausted you were. Joe saw the anger, the frustration, the sadness all covered in a light sheen of fatigue. And Joe also witnessed from up close how you were working really hard to hide all of that.

Like you could ever hide shit from him.

Like Joe wasn’t fucking trained to snuff it out on you.

Like he hadn’t felt you grasp onto him for dear life all night. Like he hadn’t seen the hunched up shoulders. Like your arms hadn’t been protectively crossed, literally hugging yourself, since you’d left your flat.

And he’d been waiting.

Always waited.

You always took the lead on everything. Steered this ship over dark seas with waves so high, Joe couldn’t see past them until whatever new thing you’d introduced into your friendship became normal and routine. It was safer that way. Have you call the shots.

But he understood waiting had been the wrong move here, and it was already too late when he realised he should’ve said something so much sooner. He just hadn’t wanted to have that awkward conversation. You never talked. But he should have. He knew he should have.

And now seemed as good a time as any to still try his hand at it.

“Hey,” Joe soft said, and gave you a little shake.

You took it as a way of Joe trying to cheer you up and get you to smile.

So you did.

Just smiled.

“No, don’t– you can be honest,” Joe pulled away a little more, getting a better look at you. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

An invitation to yell at him.

But your smile only grew, and for a moment, Joe almost believed it was real.

“Well, I’m thinking...” you said it in a humorous way, and stopped the moment before it could even become sincere.

Joe gave it one more try, though.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know how I–...”

“I think that wall needs a splash of colour. Bit of paint.”

You didn’t want to talk about it.

You and Joe never talked.

Not talking felt important now.

You needed the not-talking now more than ever and Joe couldn’t taint what you barely even had right now with talking. You were trying so hard, and having him try to suddenly talk seemed so unfair.

So you looked past him, looked at one of his bedroom walls and changed the course of conversation to safer waters.

You felt how Joe’s eyes scanned your face a second. Saw him give in. Felt like he owed it to you to let you call the shots, because he’d made the mistake of not saying anything.

Joe turned around and looked at the same wall for a second before he turned his head to squint at you, countering lightly, “Do I really need to?”

You squinted right back, “I don’t think you really want my honest opinion.”

You knew Joe was going to keep all his walls white. Keep it safe. Keep it boring.

“But you know what would look really nice? Big palm in that corner.”

You tried to keep the mood fun and playful and hoped you could make him laugh again. Which, he did. Joe did laugh. But only for a second, because, “Oh! That reminds me!” and without explaining what reminded him of what, he walked out.

You hesitated to follow, unsure if you wanted to continue this weird interaction with other people present. The hesitation was only short, because it only took a few seconds for Joe to jog back down the hallway and–

Your stomach dropped.

No.

The small crispy wave plant.

What?

Joe proudly raised the little pot he was holding in his hand and walked it over to place it in the window. Then he stepped back and admired it and–

No.

That was– no but, that was yours now. That had gotten moved into your bedroom and, yea, all right, you kept calling it Joe’s plant, but he was the one that kept correcting that it was in your bedroom.

When had he even taken that?

Had he just gone in and grabbed it in those three minutes you’d gone to make tea?

What the actual fuck?

Then Joe turned to look at you, smiled and said, “It's a start?” as he shrugged one shoulder and, no. It fucking wasn’t. That couldn’t be a start. That plant didn’t belong in here.

And neither did his bed, all taken apart.

Neither did he.

All of this was yours, everything inside of this room belonged to you, and if you had arms big enough you’d grab everything and haul it right back, what the fuck was he even thinking?

But then, “Joe?” his dad called him to the living room. Movers had questions. With a final squeeze of a shoulder, you were left in Joe’s new bedroom by yourself.

With his disassembled bed.

Wrapped up mattress.

And that stupid plant.

Which, not yours, apparently.

But you know what?

If not yours, then also not his.

You stepped closer. Touched a leaf with a careful hand. It really was a nice little plant. So vibrantly green. You knew Joe was so pleased with the pot he’d chosen. It was nothing special, but he’d mentioned it a little too often to know he wasn’t being normal about it.

But if not yours, then also not his.

Like a cat, you pressed a finger to the side and slowly pushed it. Made it slide across. Watched as the sun danced over the wavy leaves until it just... slipped off.

Just like that.

Crashed to the floor.

Potting soil spilled.

Plant pot cracked right down the center.

Good.

If not yours, then also not his.

You left right after that. Walked straight out. Ignored Joe as he called after you and took the stairs instead of the lift. Were quick, moved your legs as fast as they could go without turning it into a run.

A deep frown stayed etched into your forehead until you got home, where you angrily shook your coat off like your coat was the one that told you it was moving less than eight hours before the movers showed up.

Where you then also angrily pulled off Joe’s hoodie because fuck him.

Where you rushed into your bedroom and let yourself drop down onto the bed face first.

Where you let yourself cry in heaving sobs.

Where you heard your phone ring and pushed it off the bed when you saw it was Joe trying to reach you.

Where you finally looked up to look at your window.

And saw Joe’s stupid little plant there.

Unmoved.

Uncracked pot. Soil still inside. Leaves soaking up the sunlight.

And–

Fuck.

So much for being a cool girl.

---

The Taglisted

@ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @bylermaxmayfield, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @djoseph-quinn, @dolcevit4, @eddies-puppet, @emma77645, @emotionaldreamer, @everythinghasafacee, @figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @hanahkatexo, @harringtonfan4, @hazelenys, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @keikoraven, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @mandyjo8719, @mexicanfolklore, @miserybeans, @munson-mjstan, @nadixq, @nglharry, @notverywise, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @royale1803, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @songforeddiemunson, @sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella, @yunirgo

taglist currently full, sorry

[poorlyyy]

Love Thy Body (Comm)

Adrian Tepes x Female!Reader (smut)

Summary: Adrian Tepes is in dire need of some good ol’ fashion loving.

Word Count: 1.9k

The dhampir of Wallachia was a man known by the name Alucard. 

The opposite of the evil Dracula, he’s seen as the people's savior. The one who will destroy the mad vampire and seal him to rest in his coffin for all eternity. 

But the old stories were just that: stories. Nothing but old wise tales passed around village to village. 

The real Alucard wasn’t the opposition to anyone. He was simply a man. A man who had lost those dear to him in the span of one long nightmare. One that could only end once he drove a stake into his own fathers heart. 

When you looked at this strong hero, you didn’t see a man. No- you saw a crying child longing for his mother and father. 

Adrian wore his scars with great sadness.

From the slice across his chest- given to him from his own father. To the burns around his wrists- given to him by those he entrusted with his body and soul. 

There was no savior, only a wounded child. 

Adrian Tepes was a beautiful man. No one could deny it. 

Even when he spoke with pure arrogance and sass, his golden eyes and sharp jawline were bound to make even the strongest of wills shatter at his looks. 

Upon your first meeting, you were very close to clocking him in his perfect nose. His sharp tongue and know-it-all attitude, made it impossible to not seethe with rage. 

But as you spoke with the man, you began to see past the beauty of his face. Looking into the eyes of a broken creature, longing for someone to hold him- but to scared to open himself to others. Fear of betrayal outweighed his need for compassion. 

The first time you kissed was quite a surprise for both of you. Tension was high after a fierce battle with a few night creatures. One moment your locking eyes, the next your pressed against him in a heated embrace. 

You both swore it was from the heat of battle, even when you can't help thinking about how soft his lips were. 

One broken promise later, you find each other stripped down and in each other’s embrace. No- not quite actually. 

You’re stripped naked, Adrian is only missing his cloak. 

As unfair as you think it is, the orgasms that Adrian delivers are enough to keep your complaints to yourself. 

You thought nothing of his tendency to remain mostly clothed during your heated exchanges. Usually your mind is to busy being blown to care. But tonight would be different. 

“Strip.”

Adrian simply freezes, suddenly unsure where to put his hands on your exposed body. 

“I beg your pardon?” Ever the linguistic, but still playing dumb. 

“Ya’ speak English or not? I said strip.” Your legs shut, blocking his hands or wandering eyes from your privates. 

“I’ve never had to-“

“Aye, I’m naked as the day I was born, yet you’re still in your fancy boots. It’s not fair!” Arms folded like your scolding him, you pick up a pillow to block your chest from his view. “No more fucking until I get to see your bits!”

It’s his turn to scowl now, sitting back on his knees, on the mattress. 

“Language.”

“Stop changing the subject, strip or no more fun time!”

“Fun time?” His lips twitch slightly, a smirk forming on his face. 

Not liking his blatant disregard for his request, you tug a spare sheet around your shoulders to cover your bare body. 

“Fine.” Dragging yourself to your feet, you turn from him, “Good night.”

It doesn’t take him long to call you back, not even two seconds in fact. 

“Don’t leave.” His tone is new, almost fragile. Like if you raised your voice he’d shatter. “Please.”

Clasping your sheet dress, you turn towards him, but wait for him to continue. He doesn’t speak, only reaches a hand out, a proverbial olive branch. 

Who are you to deny this beauty of a man. 

Adrian cups your hand so gently, tugging you towards him. He’s sitting at the foot of the bed, spreading his legs to fit you between them. His eyes level with your chest. 

He’s peering up at you with a look that you can’t quite pinpoint. Definitely lust, but with a twinge of something else. 

Pulling your hand downward, he leads you to his button up. Your fingers follow his to the first button, his hands slip away, but the invitation remains. 

Uncertainty weighs your fingers down, slowly unbuttoning the first one. Only when he nods do you pick up the pace, eager to see more of him. Even the small sliver of visible pale flesh has you excited. 

But that excitement is quickly dashed once you catch sight of the large scar branding his near perfect skin. He must regard your sadness as disgust because he pulls back. 

The look on his face of pure disdain- but you know it’s not directed towards you. 

“Satisfied?” Is all he spits at you, eyes glaring at the wall behind you. 

Lifting a hand, your fingers dance along the scar tissue. Only able to journey so far before his hand grips your wrist and halts your motion. 

“Don’t-“ His grasp weakens, shoulders slumping, “-don’t pity me.”

Allowing your hand to pull free, you begin your conquest once again. This time planting both hands firmly against his chest, before leaning down planting a chaste kiss against his lips.

It’s soft. Softer than either of you’ve ever been with one another. 

Adrian takes a moment but returns the sweet gesture. Lips working against yours, like two puzzle pieces. 

You don’t give him a chance to think before pushing your body weight onto him, successfully landing him on his back. 

Despite being caught off guard, he’s still quick enough to land on his elbows. 

“Bloody vampire speed.” You grumble, but refuse to let him stump this small victory. 

Latching your lips on his jaw, you revel in the gasp that leaves him. Adventure further down the column of his throat, leaving small bites and kisses in your wake. 

The subtle pleasures must be enough for him to lower his guard once again, slowly laying flat on his back. His hands fist the sheets beneath him, claws unconsciously ripping the fabric. 

Noticing this loss of control you take the opportunity to lighten the mood. “Tsk. That’s silk, Mr. Tepes.”

Moving back to lock eyes with him, you’re relieved to see him roll his eyes. 

“I can always buy new ones.”

“Oh? Trying to impress me with your riches?” Hands spread on his chest, you push yourself into an upright position, straddling his waist. 

Adrian’s hands move from the sheets, securing themselves onto your hips. 

“Are you only straddling me because of my possible riches?” The grip on your hip gives him leverage to grind against your bare crotch, drawing a low moan from you. 

“Trust me, it’s not just your money that keeps me here.” You trail a hand down his chest, raking your nails a little harsher as you reach the sharp v-line, leading to the tent in his pants. 

“Y-your- ahhh…vile creature.” His moans only add to the heat between your legs, making you unconsciously rub against his bulge. 

“An’ you’re too sexy for your own good.” Your eyes admire the sight of him beneath you. 

Pale skin, ripped muscles, beautiful face, all for you. 

“Quiet.” Is all he can muster in a weak defense, but the pink tint on his cheeks is a dead give away. 

“Not until I make up for all the times you hid this work of art from me.”

Hands run down his bare chest, fingers trying to memorize every crack and crevice. His breathing hitches when you trace his scar, skin more sensitive than the rest. 

Leaning down you catch a pink nipple between your lips, giving a half hearted suck. His reaction is a mixture of surprise and pleasure, back arching a fraction and fingers twitching. 

“Heathen…” he manages to groan with faux anger, not convincing due to the pink still tinting his cheeks. 

“Whore.” You grin back up at him, rolling his nipple between your teeth now. 

“Hng-” It’s adorable really- watching him struggle to keep his cool demeanor up. 

Your mouth remains latched to his nipple, hand wandering down his arm, pausing at his wrist. Even with your soft grip around it has tension rushing through his muscles. Pulling his wrist a bit, you feel slight resistance before he allows you to drag his hand towards your face. Still hovering over his chest, you place a soft kiss on the dark scar that resembles a bracelet. 

“You’re beautiful,” you sit up to straddle him once again, while hoisting his other wrist to your lips. “So beautiful it’s nearly scary.”

He’s breathless as he lays back and watches you plant kiss after kiss along his scars. 

The grinding of your hips against his catches him by surprise. 

“Oh!” The half vampire gasps, mouth opening revealing two razor sharp fangs. 

His hands are led down your neck, past your chest, landing on your hips. Hot friction burns between your arousal and his, successfully leaving a wet spot on his pants. 

“Please let me show you how badly I need you…” your voice loses any confidence, taking on a breathy, whiny tone. 

Your eyes lock, his half lidded golden orbs staring at you with a near predatory gaze. One hand drops from your hip and slides between your legs.

“Ah! Adrian-” Your cries only make his fingers move more, direct contact making your thighs clench. 

Moving up a bit, unconsciously giving his long, attentive, fingers better access. His fingers are slightly sticky with your arousal, taking said juices and rubbing it around your hole. 

“This- mmm… I wanna be in c-control!” As angry as you try to sound, you can’t help the noises leaving you, screwing your eyes shut to focus on the pleasure. 

“You want me to stop?” He questions, his fingertip pushes into your eager cunt, giving only a hint of relief before pulling out. “Fine.”

The whimper that leaves you has him growing hard- well, harder. 

“Please…more.”

There’s no time to try and deny your body's needs, not when he allows his finger to push into you, all the way in. Thrusting the finger slowly, the sounds of wetness get louder. He pulls them out completely, only for two to push back in. 

“Y-yes- need more…” Your hips move on their own, fucking yourself on his fingers. 

He doesn’t press another in though, instead keeps his eyes locked on the place where you wrap tightly around his fingers. Even the slightest crook of his finger inside of you has you toppling over, bare chests rubbing each other. At this awkward angle you can’t really fuck yourself onto him, leaving you at the mercy of his slow and shallow fingerfucking. 

That need for release grows as his long fingers strike sparks against your inner walls. The sounds coming from your lower half would be embarrassing if you weren’t going mad with unholy needs. 

“I can’t come like this, p-please…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you can’t walk. Okay, my love?”

My love. A title too romantic for your intimate relationship, words failing you.

Your lack of response is substituted by your tightness clenching around his digits, making his chest rumble with an evil chuckle. 

“Good girl.”

[madaqueue]

Dripping in Gold | Chapter 3

synopsis: finding a job was never easy, and why even bother trying after you meet satoru gojo, a man with mysterious and exorbitant wealth, who wants nothing more than to spoil you with it? the only caveat to your little arrangement is that it can never, ever, become personal.

pairing: satoru gojo x f!reader

themes/content: non-curse modern au, sugar daddy gojo. language, fluff, smut. kissing, brief fingering (f receiving), car sex. 18+, MDNI

word count: 2.3k

a/n: the way i've given up proofreading this lmao lemme know if y'all find any errors bc i'm simply not looking for em anymore! anyways eat up :)

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What the hell did I get myself into?

The question repeats in your mind while the cool air in Gojo’s car blasts against your skin, still hot from earlier, as his hand returns to its natural place along your thigh.

After your little encounter, he promised to take you to one of his favorite places for lunch. He also promised to wash your soiled panties for you as he shoved them into his pocket with a smirk, citing how “gentlemanly” he is.

The events of less than an hour prior replay in your mind as you remember how his touch felt, how his lips pressed against yours, how badly you wanted him to bend you over and fuck you then and there. But instead, he just picked up all the dresses you had tried on and marched them out of the changing room to the front of the store, setting them down and paying without a second thought. “Oh, and we’ll take the yellow one she’s wearing, too,” he chirps to the attendant as she rings up an amount you can’t even fathom.

You get pulled out of your thoughts as the car stops, your door opening suddenly as Gojo once again holds his hand out to you. He has brought you to an adorable restaurant you’ve never even seen before, with yellow flowers lining the walkways and windowsills of the old building, perfectly complementing the new outfit you have on.

Once again, the date is actually really lovely. He orders you both champagne and tells you to get whatever else you want from the menu, and conversation flows naturally between you two, almost like old friends. Wanting to learn more about him, you direct the discussion to his past, probing to understand more about his background. While he often acts like an open book, you find that there are three things he will absolutely not talk about: his family, his home, or his money. Whenever one of these topics comes up he maneuvers the conversation elsewhere, often deflecting back to you.

That said, holy shit does this man love to talk - you bet that if you put him in an empty room he’d speak just to hear his own voice. He seems to know something about everything, and he wants to make sure you know it, too.

“Do you ever shut up?” you tease after his fourth time interjecting a random, unwarranted piece of information into a story you were telling him.

“Hmm,” he thinks, bringing a hand up to ruffle through his hair. “Nope, I don’t think so,” a cheeky grin plastered on his face.

While the time you spend with him is nice, his inability to be forthcoming does put you slightly on edge. You can’t help but find yourself wondering, in a tiny corner of the back of your mind, what’s the catch? Why is someone who seems so perfect possibly interested in you?

You push the feelings of unease down as you continue your meal. Eventually you look up and see his eyes locked on yours, taking in your every move. The cerulean pierces through you like a cold wind, and you can’t quite place the feeling it sends through you until you feel his fingertips brush against your knee from under the table.

Desire.

“You know,” you say, a grin slowly forming on your face, “I love this dress, but I almost feel like it’s getting a bit uncomfortable.”

“Oh yeah?” he tilts his head, knowingly playing into your little game. “Well, that’s a shame.” He sighs dramatically. “I guess you could take it off, if you really need to.”

“Mhm,” you hum, “I might need your help with that, though.”

Leaning forward slightly, his words come out airy, “Anything for you, princess.”

He stands up and holds his hand out again, your fingers intertwining with his as his free hand pulls out his wallet and drops a few hundred dollar bills on the table, more than enough to cover your meal. Leading you back to his car, you feel your heart start to race in anticipation.

Pulling open the back door, you hop in first and get comfortable against the seat before he joins you inside. You hadn’t noticed how spacious the back of his car is but you’re grateful that it at least won’t be uncomfortable; you expected him to take you back to his place or yours, but this will do just fine for now, as your need for him was increasing with every second he wasn’t inside you.

Immediately upon closing the door his lips crash into yours, soft and warm against the lingering cool air inside the vehicle. As you sit in his lap his arms reach around your body to undo the zipper of your dress before sliding it over your head, tossing it somewhere into the depths of the car.

Since your panties were already stuffed into his pocket and you hadn’t worn a bra, you were now fully bare in front of him. He pulls away from the kiss for a moment, allowing his eyes to slowly cover every inch of your body, taking you in as a smile curls at the corners of his lips.

Gojo lays down with his back against the seats so you can straddle him, legs around his waist as you start to undo the buttons of his white dress shirt. With your eyes closed and hands shaking slightly in excitement, you take longer than the man would like as he sighs against your lips and simply rips his shirt open, muttering “I’ll buy a new one,” as it slides off his shoulders.

Your eyes open for a moment to take in his body beneath you - his firm chest, abs surrounded by a v-line that dipped below the waist of his pants, practically begging you to trace along it with your fingers. As you do, you hear Gojo’s breath hitch momentarily at your touch.

“Aw, are you nervous?” you tease against him as your fingertips brush along his waistband, slowly fumbling against the buckle of his belt.

He smirks at you through the kiss. “Just impatient.”

Before you can quip back, he has undone his belt and zipper, allowing you to pull his black slacks down to his ankles, sitting up slightly to let him kick them off. Your hands find the top of his black boxers before his hands wrap around your wrists.

Pulling his mouth away from yours for a moment, his eyes open to meet your gaze. “Are you sure?” he asks through a breathy sigh.

You nod eagerly, starting to lean back down before a hand reaches up to stop you.

“Say it,” he commands, voice suddenly low and raspy.

“I want to fuck you, Satoru,” the words barely leaving your mouth before your lips crash back into his, a new greediness between both of you as your tongues glide against each other’s.

Your attention turns back to undressing him as you pull his boxers down, revealing his fully erect cock. The tip flushed, needy, drawing your hands to it as you use your thumb to drag the leaking precum around his tip before sliding your hand loosely down his length. Satoru sighs into your open mouth at the feeling, reaching his own hand down between your legs.

As soon as he touches you, you feel electricity shoot through your body, his fingers barely brushing against your clit. Maybe you were still horny from earlier, maybe you just needed him that badly, but something in you couldn’t wait any longer.

Your hips move so you’re hovering above him, using your hand around his base to align him with your entrance. His tip slowly enters you, the feeling already threatening to send you over the edge as you envelop him in your warmth.

He moans your name softly as you drop your hips to take all of him inside of you. His cock stretches at your walls, the mix of pleasure and pain better than anything you’ve felt before. You fit him perfectly as he fills up every last inch of you, your wetness allowing him to glide in and out with ease.

“Wanted you so bad,” he murmurs against your lips as you grind your hips in circles up and down his length, “needed you.” One of his hands grips at your waist while the other snakes behind you to grab the thick flesh of your ass.

You continue your movements, using one hand on his chest to stabilize yourself, his cock pressing into every last part of you. “S’good, you feel s’good,” he babbles, a never-ending stream of consciousness leaving his mouth as your body moves against his.

Damn, he really can’t shut up, can he? you think to yourself with a grin.

You don’t mind though, the silky lightness of his voice only adding to your pleasure. As you feel yourself approaching your release, your pussy clenches around him, eliciting another moan from the man underneath you.

His grip tightens on your waist as he suddenly begins thrusting his hips up into you, adding to the pace. You open your eyes slightly as he reaches even deeper into you, glancing down to see the veins in his arms as his fingers dig into your skin.

“F-fuck, I’m close,” he whines, desperation dripping from his voice as he continues pumping into you.

“Me too, ‘Toru,” the words leaving your throat in a hoarse whisper.

You don’t even process the nickname, something simply spoken out of ease as sounds struggled to escape your lips through moans of pleasure, but it sends butterflies through Satoru’s body as he is suddenly pushed into his climax. You follow almost immediately, your body racked with pleasure as your legs shake and cunt flutters around his cock as he finishes inside of you.

The humidity of the car finally hits you as you try to slow your breathing, realizing both you and Satoru are covered in a thin layer of sweat as you peel yourself off of him to sit up.

“Wow,” he pants, reaching a hand up to brush white hair off of his slightly damp forehead, “that was amazing.”

“I know,” you reply slyly, leaning down to place a peck against his lips.

He chuckles, “So cocky already? And here I thought we could have a sweet post-fuck cuddle or something.”

You can’t stop yourself from giggling. “Oh yeah, in the comfort of the back seat of your car?”

“Aw, are you saying you don’t like my car?” he fakes a pout. “Guess you can just walk home then.”

You roll your eyes at his teasing. “You and I both know damn well I’m not walking home, and we aren’t going anywhere until you find my dress.”

“As you wish, sweetheart,” he smirks, sitting up and wrapping his arms tightly around you, placing a wet kiss on your cheek as you laugh and squirm in his lap.

–

For a while, things with Satoru are easy. You find yourself slipping into a rhythm with him: he calls you, he takes you out somewhere, you fuck, and he pays you. It feels nice to finally be able to afford to live again and not stress about your job hunt, and you start to genuinely enjoy the time you spend with him, looking forward to your weekly dates.

Between the times you see him, you also find yourselves communicating more often. He starts sending you pictures of himself trying on clothes in that all-too-familiar dressing room, asking for your opinions on what he should get so he can match you whenever you go out somewhere. You start video calling each other too, getting to see that stupid grin on his face whenever you pick up. Usually you just talk about your days or what shows you're watching, but you slowly start bringing him more into your life, telling him about your family and whatever gossip you hear about from your friends. A few times you’ve even invited him to come out with your group, but he always declines with a vague excuse. A part of you wants more, to have him in your life fully, but you also know that it would bring with it the complicated explanation of how you met and how your relationship first started.

You also begin to notice that you never hook up in your apartment or his - it’s always in restaurant bathrooms, his car, or the few times he’s gotten you a hotel room to stay with him overnight. You don’t particularly mind, since your apartment is still not the cleanest, although it’s certainly gotten better with your newfound free time, but it does seem odd to you. Whenever you try to bring it up, he just shrugs or brushes it off with a wave of his hand. “It’s too personal,” he always reasons, and you decide that you either have to drop it and accept how things are or push it and risk losing him.

Around six months after your first date, something changes. He drops you off at home after an amazing dinner at a new steakhouse and even better sex, this time in the private lounge of the restaurant. Inside your apartment you shower and head straight to bed. When you awake the next morning, you see two notifications on your phone: one from your bank informing you of a deposit of $6,000, and one from Gojo.

Gojo: Sorry about not paying you right away last night, I must have been a little distracted after our dinner and dessert 🥰 (the dessert was us having sex). I sent you a bit extra as compensation for any emotional damages I may have caused <3

You roll your eyes, a smile involuntarily forming on your lips as you read his message. Suddenly, it hits you: you didn’t even notice that he didn’t pay you. For months, that had been the routine, the expectation you both had set and agreed to. But last night, you didn’t notice. And maybe, you didn’t care?

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[sturnsstar]

Treat you better ✶ Matt Sturniolo pt. 1

⋆.˚pairing: fem!reader x Matt Sturniolo

⋆.˚warnings: angst and fluff, swearing, reader has a panic attack and is very insecure. SMUT in the next part!!

⋆.˚requested: no.

⋆.˚summary: After reader's boyfriend breaks up with her, she starts feeling unworthy of anyone's love. Luckily, her friend Matt is ready to prove her otherwise.

P.S. english is not my first language.

Even though I’m trying  not to think about it, everything seems so hard right now. I feel drained and tired: every cell of my body is screaming at me to run away and hide from everyone. I don’t  want to be here, at this party, full of people I don’t know who are not aware of my feelings at this very moment.

My boyfriend, or now ex-boyfriend, just dumped me. Right on the spot. Without an apparent motivation or a justification. He made me get ready to accompany him at this stupid party I didn’t want to attend in the first place just to break up with me once there. 

I don’t  know what to do or what to think. Do I just go around this house pretending nothing happened? No one I know is here yet, and there’s a high chance I’ll see that asshole somewhere, probably too occupied to flirt with some random girl, now that he is a free man. 

I read once that heartbreak can actually cause physical pain but never believed it. I have to reevaluate that, because the pain I feel on my chest right now must be real.

I walk through the kitchen and the many bodies crowded there, hoping to reach the back door to get out and find some fresh air. The house feels so constricted, my lungs don’t have enough oxygen to keep functioning normally. Once I realize what I feel coming is a panic attack it’s too late. I should have known the symptoms, since they’ve been so frequent for me the last few months. Between the start of my first Uni year and the numerous fights I had with Hayden, I often found myself with a hand to my chest and my eyes closed, trying to regain my breath and clear my head. The stress and the pressure I felt lately decided to burst through during the most inappropriate times, one of them being right this instant, in a place where I don’t feel safe. 

I am so vulnerable and weak, my head is pounding and I let my eyes close for a few seconds, trying to adjust my breathing. What will I do now? How can I get over this? Tears are streaming down my face, ruining, I’m sure, the make-up I applied a few hours ago.

Suddenly, there’s a warm feeling on my shoulder. A hand, big and smooth, is gripping me tightly, and a voice I think I know from somewhere is calling my name, bringing me back from the dark place I was before.

I open my eyes, finding in front of me a pair of blue eyes with a worried expression, staring right back at me.

“What is it? What happened?” 

I want to tell him, I really do, but words feel like a boulder in my stomach. My mouth opens, but no sound comes out, except for a feeble screech. I feel so ashamed and yet safe, now that Matt is here with me. I am not alone anymore, I know he will help me. He’s the only one who knows what I am going through right now. Matt is always there when I need him, somehow. 

His expression changes, like he suddenly has a realization. He understands what’s wrong with me, even without me saying anything to him.

“Alright, this is what we’ll do. You follow me and we sit down on that bench over there. I will hold your hand, if you want. Think you can do that  for me?”

That is exactly what I need. The reassurance, someone who tells me I can rely on them. So I grab his hand, the one that wasn’t on my shoulder, and my silent answer is enough for him, cause he turns around and starts moving towards the white bench, his hold on me strong and firm. We sit next to each other, his jeans cladded thigh brushing against mine, our hands still connected. 

My breathing slows down, but it’s still a bit difficult for me to talk. Matt speaks again. 

“Listen to my breathing and try to match it. You’re okay. We’re sitting on a bench in a backyard, there’s no one else, just you and me. You can feel safe with me, you know that.”

Of course I know that. It’s one of the few facts I am fully certain of. In all the years I’ve known Matthew Sturniolo, he has never let me down once. He was my favorite playmate at kindergarten; the little boy I went crying to when someone made fun of me in elementary school; the one who copied my math homework through middle school and high school; the boy who knew all about my insecurities and my secrets no one else was aware of.  

I finally stop crying and my breathing goes back to normal after a few minutes, thanks to Matt’s presence and its power to ground me. 

“Will you tell me what happened now?” His face is worried, there’s sadness in his eyes and it irks me to know I am the cause of his apprehension.

So I tell him: I recount the last few months of my life, the ones where he wasn’t present exclusively for the fact that Hayden wanted me to stay away from him. I tell him about the anxiety I’ve been feeling, the fear of not meeting everyone’s expectations over me. I tell him about what happened tonight, how the pain I felt was so unbearable I needed to get away. And he listens, silently, at every word I speak. 

“I am so sorry, Matt, for how I treated you” I whisper, looking at the ground. I am too embarrassed to face him, because he always had a weird feeling about my ex-boyfriend and I never really listened to him. Embarrassed also for the fact that I let him go so easily, just for some stupid tantrum of an insecure guy.

He chuckles, and his hold on my hand tightens. 

“Don’t worry about it, I knew something like that could have happened, with an asshole like Hayden” I laugh at that, releasing a bit of the tension I accumulated tonight. 

“Are you here with your brothers? I haven’t seen them in so long, I miss them” I ask him, feeling ashamed once again and also needy of their company. Chris and Nick were a big part of my childhood as well. My bond with them is not as strong as the one I share with Matt, but the affection I feel for them it’s immense.  

“I left them at the entrance. They’re not very happy with me right now, since I forced them to come to this party. But I knew you were there and had to see you.” Matt smiles and gets up, urging me to do the same. I blink at his last words, but he doesn’t let me elaborate them cause he’s practically dragging me back to the house, his face now covered from my view, but I can notice a slight blush forming on his cheeks.

Turns out, Chris and Nick weren't mad at me either. Well, Nick tried to act tough at the beginning, but seeing my state and the murderous look Matt gave him, he stopped pretty quickly and gave me a warm hug, almost causing me to cry again. I just missed these guys so much, I can’t believe I went without them for three whole months.

We stay at the party for a bit longer, Chris trying his best to make me laugh and generally succeeding, even though some of his best jokes consist of burping in front of his brothers’ faces, causing punches and swears to fly around. 

Matt drives me home. The journey is quiet except for the music playing from the car stereo. He stops in front of his house first to let his brothers go home, and I frown at him. 

“I don’t want to hear them complaining because they’re tired or some shit” he explains to me, and I still look at him with a raised brow, so he just sighs. “Fine, I want to be with you for a while longer without them. Is it so hard to believe?” It is actually hard to believe for me right now. Not because of Matt, though. 

The sadness I felt earlier tonight has dissipated, but it’s not completely gone. My head is making a thousand thoughts and my insecurities have taken hold of me. I feel so unworthy of Matt’s care for me, when I did nothing for the past months but hurt him. 

He starts the engine and we’re on the road again. My eyes trail outside the window seat, mesmerized by the city lights. 

“You can tell me how you’re feeling, you know” Matt’s voice breaks my reverie, and I sigh.

“I just…” I start, eyes still not looking at him.“I don’t understand what I did wrong. I did everything he told me to do! For fuck’s sake, I stopped seeing you because he felt jealous. I guess I’m just trying to get some kind of closure, you know?” I’m rambling right now, but I don’t care. Matt never judged me before, and I need this, I need to tell someone what’s going on in my head, otherwise it will be a never ending circle of self pity.

He hums, listening intently to my words. I vomit all the insecurities that crept up upon me that evening, and without even realizing we arrive at my place.

Matt turns off the car, he unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out of the vehicle. Confused, I follow his lead, coming out of the car almost the exact time he reaches me. I look up at him, expecting some kind of encouraging words towards me or even a little lecture. 

Instead, all I see is such adoration and love in his eyes that I almost have to look away, but before I do that, his arms encircle my shoulders and he pulls me against him, his warm chest a welcome caress against my cheek. I freeze, so unaccustomed to the sudden physical affection. But my body knows this feeling quite well, and it acts on its own. I hug him back, my arms encircling his waist and my head resting against his chest, listening to his fast heartbeat.

His voice, muffled against my hair, trembles with a frantic plea. "Never again," he whispers. "Promise me, don't vanish like that. And don't believe that nonsense. You're not unworthy of love. You just happen to have chosen the wrong person to take it from." I can't muster the strength to argue with him; I simply shake my head, too weary to contradict his words. 

Matt moves his head away from my shoulder, his arms still around me. 

“I wish you’d see yourself the way I see you. Maybe you’d understand, then” I frown at him.

“How do you see me?” I’m not sure where the courage to ask that question comes from, but I have a feeling in my stomach that his answer might change everything for me. For us.

He smiles at me, his teeth showing. “Now it’s not the time or place to tell you. If you still want to know, ask me in a month or something” he steps back and goes to the driver seat, getting in the car without looking at me, while my head spins. What is that supposed to mean? My curiosity is killing me, I want to know what he means so badly, but I know him: if he’s made his mind up, he won’t tell me until he feels like the right time has come. 

I shake my head, the shadow of a smile on my face, and I turn, going towards my house. I hear the car’s engine starting again, and it’s only after I close the door behind me that Matt departs. 

Fine then, I’ll wait for him to tell me. Something to look forward to, maybe.

Part 2 will be published soon!

[alexjcrowley]

Braddavid/Cookiecash headcanons (I did not invent cookiecash, I took it froma a Tumblr user who took it from a fic on ao3)

-Brad's love languages are acts of service, quality time and gift giving: any kind of gesture that he can later justify saying he did it for his own benefit or amusement. Acts of service? Oh, no, I manipulated you by doing a good thing for you and now you owe me (never going to ask that favour back). Quality time? I enjoy watching you being pathetic, it amuses me. Gift giving? A bit trickier, but "there was a discount at Starbucks if I ordered two drinks/I found this at the flea market/a book, so maybe you'll spend your time reading instead of annoying me/you cannot show up to a meeting with Montreal with that tie, consider this a necessary purchase for the company".

-David's love languages are all of them, but trying a bit too hard. The kind of things that would make anyone go "that's pathetic", except, if you loose the fake coolness for a moment, they're actually very sweet. Lots of compliments. Gifts with a 50/50 rate of success (the successful ones are usually Ducktales themed). Afternoon spent renting a small paddleboat in the park lake (David falls into the water). PDA but someone burst in the office and suddenly it's a very embarassing situation. Cooking dinner but he ends up burning it and they have to resort to take out. David's love language is trying and Brad should find this utterly pathetic and weak, and instead he finds the effort all the more endearing, especially because David never gives up. What has this man done to him.

-Basically every morning, before they start living together, David woke up early to get Brad a mochaccino. Every. Single. Day. Brad had to tell him to stop (because of his ED, he feared gaining weight). David still made a point of bringing Brad coffee every morning. Brad justified to himself accepting David's kindness as taking advantage of a fool. He had the upper hand because David was gifting him coffee, surely no ripercussions, especially emotional ones, would come out that situation. Brad was winning and he had everything under control.

-David is surprisingly self-reliant. Here went Brad thinking he'd have to beat his partner with a stick to let him have some alone time, but David is way less clingy than one could imagine. He has a lot of hobbies (many stereotypical suburban dad hobbies, but still): cycling, barbecue, music (he is still trying to learn to play the guitar), meditation ("It really helps, Brad, you should try it!"), cooking (with...various results), Turkish soap operas ("My wife" "Ex-wife" "used to watch them, so to bring a spark to the relationship I started watching them with her, you know, to spend more time together, and now we're divorced but I am still hooked") and more. If you leave him alone, David will find something to do. David says it has to do with his childhood, only child and all that, he's used to lonely afternoons, he learned how to fill them. The rapidity he takes up hobbies with is frankly impressive. Brad hates to admit it, but sometimes he finds himself to envy how many pasttimes David gets up to. It's incredible for such a lively person full of interests to pass so often as a boring one. Brad will (secretly gladly) hear about David talking about his million hobbies.

-David learns Brad's birthday and never forgets it. He makes a big deal out of it the forst time, organising a surprise birthday party, just like he did when Zack told him it was Brad's birthday. Brad is not at all pleased by the situation, until he remembers birthday parties mean gifts, to him. That's the only reason he's willing to forgive David for making all that fuss.

-It becomes second nature for Brad to buy David's favourite cookies everytime he sees them. At some point they have 5 unopened boxes in the kitchen. Brad is appalled by his own stupidity while David beams with love.

-David speaks a decent (canadian) french, Brad speak a France french and costantly makes fun of David's accent. But they use their knowledge of french to talk shit about people in MQ without them understanding, especially Poppy and Ian.

-They almost stop speaking to eachothers, even before they get together, due to Brad's ED, because it's not something Brad wants to confront, but David can't repress his worry. Brad starts making small steps and David makes sure to be a comforting presence along the way, without being a smothering one. He makes sure Brad eats something everyday, often by having lunch/dinner with him.

-David is a child when it comes to alchohol. Literal child. He pretends to enjoy whisky, because that's what men his age do, but he doesn't. He is a simple red wine/white wine/beer man (that's the only distinction he does, he wouldn't know a pinot grigio from a cabernet), and he doesn't even handle it that well. Brad is an absolute snob when it comes to liquors and his knowledge in alchohol ties directly with the social value it brings in a conversation with rich people. David is an affectionate drunk, which Brad hates in public because how is he supposed to keep his cool when David hugs him and declares his love for him in front of anybody who cares to listen?

-The day David started asking people's opinion on shaving his moustache was the day Brad had to reluctantly and embarrassingly admit he liked David's moustache too much to risk see it gone. David kept the moustache and never let Brad live that down. The endless teasing made Brad reconsider the tragedy of a clean-shaven David, but it was already too late.

-David's obnoxious with petnames, really, Brad can't understand the unironical appeal in being called "baby", "honey", "dear". Well, actually dear is not the worst. The worst was Brad-bear, and, as a matter of a fact, it had never been repeated after it fatally escaped David's mouth and Brad looked at him like he was trying to kill him with mind-powers. It really is a testament to how sloppy Brad has become since he's with David, because it takes him a while to understand that David is trying to be smart, to be subtle, and failing miserably. He is attempting some sort of influence. So one day, after taking the mochaccino David bought for him, Brad goes "Thank you, darling" and David can't help but smile, blabbering something like "I-It's nothing, really". It's the little things, Brad thinks drinking his mochaccino.

-Brad starts using polish petnames for David. Even when David has no idea what they mean, he is incredibly happy to hear them. Only half of them are sort of insults.

-David has secretly started to learn polish, even though it doesn't come so easy to him. He practices it in secret in Sue's office.

-Brad has gifted David a wolf plushie. David loves it.

-David has made Brad several Spotify playlist which Brad refuses to listen to (or so he told David).

-Despite great insistence, David did not manage to get Brad to do a couple costume with him on Halloween. David still showed up with half of the couple costume. Brad tried to convince other people he wasn't David's date, to spare himself the embarrassment. And it was also working with people who didn't know him and David directly if he didn't have a ring on his finger and the words "my husband, David" didn't roll on his tongue so naturally.

-David refuses to admit he found Brad very hot in Everlight when he was fighting with the sword because he is aware, the moment that slips out, Brad will find a way to use a sword again, possibly in public, explicitly to tease him. And David is a man who knows his limits, and knows he couldn't handle it.

-David is somewhat unaware of how much Brad has softened with him, because Brad is still very sharp and sarcastic around him. David doesn't think Brad is cold towards him, but still, he thinks, 80% of the time and always in public, Brad is still pretty much Brad, he just insults him a little less. From an external point of view, anyobody who has ever met Brad can tell he is another person when it comes to David, 200% kinder than usual. When Brad "insults" David is more of a playful jab about his fashion sense or being a pushover, when Brad insults anyone else is a call from Carol in HR for Brad and, for the unlucky soul, new material for the next 5 session with their therapist.

-Contrary to popular belief (at least about Brad), David and Brad are not a very "glamorous" couple. When they first got together, people at MQ thought that David was the boring one and Brad was going to bring excitement and dare into his life. There were a lot of jokes on David not being able to keep up with Brad's lifestyle. Truth is, apart from work related events, Brad doesn't like to go out and mingle too much, unless he has a specific purpose. Outside MQ, they are the most ordinary boring middle-aged queer couple you could ever meet. At least that's the image they project in David's neighbourhood (which is not a cool, fashion neighbourhood like the one in which Brad lives). The neighbours see them at the rare neighbourhood events they attend, and David is your classic "let me work the barbecue, I have expert knowledge in grilling" suburban-dad-looking guy, while Brad only speaks about stocks and cryptocurrency.

-Brad is master at chess (he used to play professionally when he was very young) and every game of cards (he counts them), David sucks at both. Brad refuses to teach him because he likes to win (and he doesn't want to lose charming points revealing his tricks).

-Brad doesn't see the similarities between he and Huey's voice actor in the new Ducktales. He is offended when David says even he could hardly tell them apart.

-Brad tried to imitate Scrooge McDuck's voice, but he sucked at the impression. He can do a generic Scottish accent, though.

-They tried to use David and Brad in a spot about MQ being an inclusive workplace and Brad threatened to make 0 the price for any weapons again.

-Brad doesn't believe in PDA but he does believe in being the last ones to leave the office after a bit of fun in their shared room.

-People costantly assume Brad is way younger than he actually is and sometimes they give David weird looks because of it or they make illed jokes about it. David is mortified, but Brad loves it, "It's not my fault I age better than you".

-One day David asked Brad to see his number one. "What do you mean?" "You know, like Scrooge McDuck? You're such a big fan, I thought you had a number one of your o-" "Don't be ridiculous, David, I am a forty-two-year old man, do you actually think I keep an old coin in a velvet box in the name of citationism?" He does. He does, but he doesn't show it to David until he proposes. Because he proposed with the coin. He slid the velvety box on a table saying that it was his most priced possession and the fact that he was showing David meant David was the person he trusted the most in the entire world. Then Brad proceded to tell him that for him that was the greatest love gesture he could think about (after all, everyone knows that stealing Scrooge McDuck's number one would have brought to his end, Brad is metaphorically trusting David with his life)."I think...I don't say this lightly, and I will say it only once, but I think...you are to me the only person as important as my number one. This is serious, very serious for me, you understand?" David did, and was speechless. He felt almost embarrassed about the ring he bought, but Brad loved it nonethless.

-One could say that the moment he started dating Brad, David stopped with the freudian slip of calling "his wife" his ex-wife, but the truth is, since he started dating Brad, he just stopped mentioning his ex-wife that much.

-David's ex wife and Brad met. Brad's takeaway from that encounter, after David asked him what he thought of it, was "Good. I am better than her, so I have nothing to worry about".

-For the longest time, they don't meet eachothers parents. They justify it saying they're not teenagers anymore, they don't need the family approval, but people at MQ start to point out it's weird they have been together for such a long time and they haven't met eachothers' family. The thing is both David and Brad have a terrible relationship with their families. David's parents wouldn't even care and Brad's parents would only be disappointed by his choice in a partner (whatever partner really: they would either be a looser or much better than Brad and that's why they will eventually leave him). They talk about it, way before they actually end up meeting eachothers' family (in both cases, unwillingly). "At least your brother likes me, I think. He seemed nice with me. Or because you don't like your brother it's actually a bad thi-" "My brother hates you, David. He thinks you're weak and pathetic." "...there goes my hope-" "It makes me like you more." "Oh. So, I guess, every thorn has its rose." "That's not a saying, David."

-The way they meet David's parents is objectively funny, if you aren't the people directly involved. David's parents are arguing again, something about a beach house his mother obtained with David rights on Christmas (yes, the agreement wasn't "I take the beach house, you can have Christmas with David" but "since I get Christmas with David, I am entitled to the beach house, as compensation". Carol reminded David one more time she wasn't his therapist, but even she admitted that was pretty shitty). Because David doesn't spend Christmas with his parents anymore, the beach house is open for dibs, again. Mr Brittlesbee and ex-Mrs. Brittlesbee rang David's door at 8 in the morning on Saturday, just to find a black haired guy in a Ducktale t-shirt opening the door. They apologised for coming to the wrong house (and bickered accusing one another not to know where their son lived).

"David" shouted Brad.

"Mhyeah?" answered David, still in bed.

"How do your parents look like?"

"Why- why are you asking me that?" replied David, suddenly way more awake.

"I think I just met them, but now they're ringing at every door in the neighbourhood."

It was a morning not easily forgettable. The Senior Brittlesbees took a while to grasp the concept of bisexuality, while Brad had understably given up making a good impression, but still managed not to escalate the situation by being silent and bringing the Brittlesbees cups of fresh-made coffee. He was called Ted several times, despite numerous corrections both on his and David's part. The ex-Mrs Brittlesbee made a point of saying (to David alone, at least) she preferred Lindsay.

"And I prefer Brad. And since it is my life-"

"I know what is going through a divorce, David, look, your father is still sucking the light out of me! I too tried something different to shake things up, I moved to Florida for a year and it was a disaster! Don't let divorce ruin the rest of your life, Ted seems like a decent man, so it'd be better to call it quit before you make another mistake-"

"Okay, goodbye, Mom."

-Metting with Brad's parents didn't really go any better. To be fair, the meeting was set as a surprise by Zack in order to humiliate Brad, just for the fun of it. He had already understood there was something going on between Brad and David, but when he heard they were officially a couple he didn't waste time to use the information to his advantage. It didn't go well, but at least Brad and David could officially say that was out of the way. Brad's parents lamented Brad choosing someone almost "softer" than he already was. Brad felt prouder than ever for his choice.

-Brad and David fought over Jo being the best woman at their wedding. And they didn't only fight between themselves, they tried to bring Jo on their respective side with any means. When it comes to persuasion though, it's Brad's favourite field and he ended up taking Jo. They were on the verge to call out wedding because David couldn't find a best man or woman (Ian tried to propose himself for the role, but David politely ignored him for 2 months making up excuses). In the end, Sue was David's best woman.

-David cried at their wedding. In several points of the wedding. Some people asked if he was being forced to marry. He was just very happy and emotional.

[jungkookjeon0007]

Nights in Vegas | CH. 3 (JJK FF)

☆ summary: When Olivia flies to Las Vegas for her first ever BTS concert w/ her best friend, she was expecting to make lots of unforgettable memories... What she wasn't expecting was to end up with the lead singer, Jeon Jungkook, knocking on her hotel room door only to find her in nothing but a towel. What will happen when the golden maknae wants to see her again? Will it lead to heartbreak, or a promising future for them both?

☆ pairing(s): jungkook x olivia.

☆ ratings: (18+) for detailed sex scenes + harsh language.

☆ genre: smut, angst, fluff.

☆ word count: 1.99k.

☆☆☆☆☆

"Oh my gosh that lunch was so good! I'm officially stuffed and ready to go take a nap."

"Yeah, I could go for a nap myself. This has been the longest day ever." Lacie replied while yawning.

We originally wanted to go shopping, but decided to wait another day since the jet lag is hitting us both hard.

. . .

As we made our way upstairs, we were stunned to see 2 familiar faces sitting in the floor outside of our room. When they saw us, they both immediately stood up to greet us.

"Hey. Are you guys needing something? If this is about earlier, I am truly sorry again for everything." I stated, genuinely confused about their presence here.

Jungkook smirked. "No, actually everything is perfect. I was just wanting to see if I could talk to you for a second, Hyung is just here because he didn't want me to come alone."

Glancing over at Hobi, he sent me a soft smile as he approached us. "You guys go inside and talk privately. I'll wait out here with your friend." He smiled as he looked over at Lacie who simply nodded her head in agreement.

We entered the room and once we were settled, he started to speak. "I'm sorry for showing up like this, but I have a few things I really wanted to say to you. I am going to get straight to the point or I will not be able to get through this without throwing up."

Taking a deep breath he continued, "I know we just met, but if you want me to be honest.. I have not been able to get you out of my head. I want to laugh, spend time with you, watch movies together.. whatever your heart desires. I've never been so interested in someone, especially an ARMY, until now."

I sat in silence, unable to speak.

"At the very least, I would really like to get to know you, hang out, and get to be a normal adult for once. If you don't want to though, I will absolutely respect your decision and not bother you with this again."

To say I am in shock would be a total understatement. Jungkook was literally standing in my hotel room, asking if I wanted to hang out and get to know each other better.

I'm honestly afraid this is all a dream and that I will be waking up any minute in utter disappointment.

He began getting anxious due to my silence, apologizing over and over again as he stood up making his way towards the door. I didn't want him to leave, so I stopped him by gently reaching out and grabbing his wrist. "No Jungkook, please wait. I didn't mean to be rude and not answer you, I am just processing all of this. You're literally my bias and one of my favorite singers of all time. I have adored BTS and have been apart of the ARMY for 6 years now, so to hear you say that you want to get to know me better and spend more time with me is all I've ever wanted. I am truly honored so please don't take this as me being ungrateful, I just don't understand something-"

He stepped closer to me, "Understand what? I'd be happy to explain whatever you need me to."

"Why me? You could be doing this with anyone you wanted, so I guess I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around what's so special about getting to know me?"

He stared at me with his big brown eyes and for a split second I thought I crossed a line, but suddenly he stepped even closer. "I don't want to spend time with anyone else though. I want to spend time with YOU and get to know YOU better. You're not like everyone else, I can tell that you're different and that's what makes me so curious. I mean, not once have you tried to attack me for pictures or not give me my space... it feels nice if you want me to be completely honest."

Well that's definitely a boost in my confidence. Out of everyone, he is choosing me.

He then interrupted my thoughts, "There is only one thing standing in our way though, you would have to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement form (NDA). No one can know about this and we have to keep it a secret for your safety, as well as mine. Are you okay with that?"

I mean...What is the worst that could happen right? Plus, I would be spending my time in Las Vegas with Jeon Jungkook of BTS. How would any sane human being ever be able to pass this opportunity up?

"Yes, I am okay with all of this and can sign the NDA... but, I do have a favor to ask if you don't mind." I said smiling at him.

"Okay, what is your favor?"

"So my friend that is out there sitting with J-Hope is one of his biggest fans and she absolutely adores him. If he would be up for it and she would also agree to sign an NDA, could we all 4 hang out at together and let them get to spend time with each other too?"

I know Lacie is obsessed with J-Hope just as much as I am with Jungkook and she'd kill me if I didn't at least ask this question.

A huge smile stretched across his perfect face.

I chuckled. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"When we saw you both in the elevator earlier, he talked about your friend and how pretty he thought she was. I don't mind to bring it up, maybe he can see if Namjoon Hyung could do something for them as well."

I was ecstatic and without thinking, I snatched him into a tight hug. "Thank you so much. This is all she's ever wanted, and I truly appreciate you doing this for us."

Realizing what I just did, my eyes went wide as I slowly released him, taking a step back. "I'm so sorry, I just got excited and couldn't control it within the moment."

He smiled sweetly. "It's okay, I honestly liked your hug very much."

Blushing by his compliment, I put my head down to the floor and smiled. With a smile on his face he changed the subject as he got his phone out. "Do you want me to go ahead and text Namjoon so we can get the NDA's signed and out of the way?"

"Absolutely, I can sign it whenever they need me to."

"Oh and btw, I feel so silly for asking but I never did ask your name."

I smirked at him. "Wanting to get to know a girl before knowing her name, huh?"

He blushed at my teasing.

"My name is Olivia."

With the sweetest smile ever he replied. "Olivia, that's a very pretty name. It's nice to meet you officially, my name is Jungkook." He bowed to me and feeling the need to play along, I bowed back.

He then took out his phone, texting Namjoon that we were ready to sign the papers.

. . .

[Lacie's POV]

If you would have told me 5 months ago that I would be in Las Vegas, sitting in a hallway with my absolute favorite person in the entire universe.. I would think you were delusional.

The moment we were left alone, my heart was slamming against my chest, not knowing what to say. Luckily, he broke the ice and approached me with his hands in his pockets. "What's your name?"

I thought I was going to pass out, but somehow played it cool and didn't show the effect he had on me.

"Lacie."

He smiled his beautiful sunshine smile that could make even the meanest girl, fall to her knees.

"That's a nice name." He reached his hand out to me and once I grabbed it, we shook hands. "My name is Hobi, but you can call me J-Hope if that's what you prefer. I know you're an ARMY, but I didn't want to be rude and not properly introduce myself. It's nice to meet you, Lacie."

We sat against the wall, continuing our conversations with one another as our best friends were still gone.

"What do you think is happening in there?" He asked, motioning towards the door with his head.

"Honestly, I'm not sure - Hobi, can I ask you something?"

He simply nodded. "Does Jungkook really only want to spend time with her?"

Taken back by the boldness of my question, he quickly defended his friend. "Yes. I have never seen him like this with anyone. It's probably the sweetest thing I've ever witnessed and I hope he finds happiness with her."

I literally can't breathe anymore from how sweet this man is and how supportive he was of our friends being able to see each other. But I kept those thoughts to myself, shifting in my spot before replying. "Okay good. He better not hurt her, or you best believe I'll hurt him and that's a promise."

I flashed him a serious look showing that I meant business. He simply held his pinky out to me with a serious look, "I pinky promise that he's not just playing with her. Jungkook isn't like that and he genuinely just wants to get to know her and be able to feel closeness with someone other than the members. He's never been able to feel free or be a kid, BTS is basically all he's ever known."

Touched by his words , I wrapped my pinky around his and gave a small smile.

We sat staring at each other, pinkies locked, until the sound of the door opening filled the hallway.

. . .

[Hobi's POV]

In just these few minutes of talking to her, I've found that Lacie is down to earth, incredibly easy to talk to, and beyond beautiful. I think I'm starting to understand exactly how Jungkook feels, and honestly it's pretty intense.

As we sat in the hallway talking, it was some of the most fun I've ever had with someone other than the members. The part I find most enjoyable is that she wants to hear more about me as a person, not J-Hope the idol and no one could ever understand just how much that means.

A few more minutes had went by and soon enough, they came out of the room together. Lacie and I stood up as I walked over to them. "So, how did everything go in there?"

They smiled at each other then back to us. I could tell everything went amazing just by the look on Kook's face and instinctively pulled them into a hug. Once we pulled away, Olivia looked at me then to Lacie with a smug smile on her face.

"What is it?" Lacie asked curiously.

"Umm we kind of did something for you guys..."

They gave each other a smile as she motioned for Jungkook to continue. "I spoke with Namjoon, and was able to get an NDA for-" He paused looking at Olivia.

"Lacie."

"Ahh yes. Lacie. I was able to get an NDA for Lacie as well."

"What do you mean an NDA for me?"

Clearly loving her best friend's reaction, Olivia stepped up in front of her and explained. "So you and Hobi can spend time with one another too."

I think our reactions were exactly the same as we looked at one another then back to our best friends.

"She was the one who came up with the idea. I thought it was amazing, so I set it up with Namjoon. I hope you're not too mad Hyung." I could hear the obvious sarcasm in his voice as he winked at me.

He knew I thought this girl was beautiful and that I wanted to see her again. "Thank you both. I really appreciate that you would do something like that for us."

"Of course! It's not fair that only Jungkook and I get to have all the fun, right?" We giggled and after having a few more conversations, we exchanged numbers with one another and made plans to meet back up at dinner time to go out....

Little did we know that this was only the beginning of a night we will all never forget.

[that-sarcastic-writer]

Upon a second watch of the trap and analyzing it from a psychological perspective (not taking into account the silly direction and at times nonsensical plot holes and character choices) and not a horny perspective, I think it’s so facilitating. Gonna leave my in depth thoughts below.

I think it’s fascinating how cooper just bullshited his way through the entirety of the concert. He didn’t know what the fuck was happening but he adapted to his surroundings and manipulated every single person he encountered in such a clever and cold way. He smiled in people’s faces as he listened to the police radio, he sneaked into a swat meeting and was even like “wow! You guys are huge!” (Which like lol no baby YOU are with your 6’3 mf ass). And his switch of body language as soon as he stepped out. He just seemed to know exactly what to say and what to do, and if it didn’t work, he thought of something else. I also want to note I find amusing that he almost thought of it as a game, in typical sociopath fashion (which yes ik is an outdated term but saying APD seems a little too clinical for my horny blog), he kinda enjoyed the chase and was even making faces at the description of himself (he also laughed at lady raven when she was like “you’re such a good boy”). He was very unbothered and collected up until he realized his perfect life was ruined, that the perfect image his family had of him was gone (the two lives mixed). Which is very on par with his antisocial personality traits.

Though I will acknowledge the fact that man actually was being dumb asf going back to the house knowing Rachel was the one that ratted him out (yes ig he didn’t know for sure but he suspected it, and let’s be real, he’s smart enough to piece it together without Rachel telling him verbatim). Unless maybe he wanted to get caught? It just seemed like very impulsive thing to do, which doesn’t seem on character for his more cold and calculating personality. His survival was the most important to him (other than his perfect dad of the year and upstanding member of society persona) and I don’t think it made sense for him to go back to the house and top of that eat something from Rachel when he suspected her, but then again maybe he wanted to get caught (or this is just bad character choice).

I also think it was incredibly dumb on his part to straight up tell lady raven he was the butcher. When this happened my expectation was that he’d kill her before she told everyone? I mean I can see why logically that’d be complicated but I expected a better outcome. It didn’t sit right with me that suddenly the focus was shifted to her and in the process they made him panic and make impulsive decisions (i.e run after her and pound on the bathroom door in front of his family, try to kidnap her instead). For someone who was shown to be incredibly smart and calculating and was described to never panic, this seemed like a very rash choice. Like what did you think was going to happen? But this movie does have character flaws and plot issues so I can’t be too critical.

Going back to the positives, another thing I found fascinating is once again his ability to manipulate every situation to his favor. Realistically speaking, in no sane world would a bunch of swat officers allow a suspected serial killer to grab something, they’d be dragging him to the van. But they allowed him to fix the bike. And the reason why I think Cooper knew this would work was because he already knew they knew he had OCD, so they knew if he had a “compulsion” he had to do it or else he would potentially lash out or get violent (this is typical when a compulsion can’t be accomplished there is a lot of anxiety that may lead to aggressive behavior or some type of breakdown). The thing was, this wasn’t a compulsion. He didn’t need to fix the bike. But the cops didn’t know this. Hence why (in my in movie understanding, regardless of logic) he was able to get the metal thing. But what’s funny about this is that you can see it in his face as he’s undoing the cuffs he’s like ooh and he laughs. I think cause he realized that he actually got away with that, that he manipulated everyone to his advantage once again, even when he was supposed to be “under control” and “subjected”. Even in cuffs he manages to be in control of the situation by coming up with ways to manipulate people to benefit his survival.

And I think that’s wonderful. I often enjoy seeing sociopaths actually be sociopaths (from a scientific standpoint as a psychology major) Like the level of manipulation and calculating cleverness (Dexter is my biggest example of this). Regardless if this movie is good or bad (I think it’s alright but it does fall apart after the concert), I think Josh (my hubby) did a fantastic job with what he was given. His mannerisms and facial expressions were so on point you could tell when he was being himself and when he was putting on the act. It was fantastic.

Anyway Josh I love you and everything you do, you’re so perfect you made this nonsensical silly movie enjoyable <3

[bettesdiary]

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ celebrity sleepover .. ⋆˚✿˖°

Sarah Paulson x Reader ⊹ꮺ˚ WLW !!!

a/n: this is the first time I’m writing on tumblr normally I always only used wattpad before to make fanfics but I kind of stopped my Diane x Reader fanfic just when it was getting exciting…… so don’t get your hopes too high I really can’t write any smut and if I ever will I can’t promise it’s gonna be good……….. oh and also English is not my first language so I’m sorry if I wrote something wrong 🙈 okay enjoy!

You always wanted to be an actress. Since you were a little you saw all those beautiful women on screen and wanted to be exactly like them one day. People often told you that this was impossible, you could never be an actress you never understood why should I be impossible? Many actors and actresses started with absolutely nothing but when you look at them now they are one of the most successful people ever!

Even though it toke much more time than you hoped, you made it. You became an actress. Your first role was in a small movie which didn’t get much attention, though the people who watched it loved to see you on screen. After a while many people wanted you in their movie! Even as the main character in a movie full of other successful actors and actresses. One of them being THE Sarah Paulson! You could barely contain your excitement when you got the request. Of course, you immediately agreed and found yourself on set next to Sarah Paulson.

Sadly you didn’t get to speak to her much, not in the movie nor on set. However, after the shooting was over, one of the actresses you worked with asked if you and the other actresses (no men) were interested in having a sleepover at her house. Once again, of course you agreed. Little did you know that Sarah would also be there. And little did Sarah know that you had a huge crush on her…

There you were, in the restroom trying to calm down after you just saw Sarah looking absolutely beautiful (like always) laying on the couch, laughing and talking with the others.

"Get a grip, y/n!" You told yourself looking in the mirror, fixing your hair.

You walk out of the restroom and your eyes immediately fall on Sarah again. For a second you immediately want to go back to the restroom and scream. But then you felt someone’s arm wrap around your shoulders.

"There you are y/n!" A sweet voice said. It was the voice of the only person you really talked with on set, Margaret. Loud enough to make all the others, including Sarah, look up at you.

Your face flushed immediately and you smile sheepishly moving your hair behind your ear.

Margaret introduces you all the others. Even though you knew exactly who everyone was, they didn’t really seem to know you.

Everyone was really sweet and shook your hand.

As you shook Sarah’s hand you immediately blushed again…

oh my god. oh my god. oh my god.

You thought to yourself the whole time… she had SO soft hands and smiled at you with the most beautiful smile ever.

"Hi" you breath out, still holding her hand.

"Hey" she smiles.

You finally let go of her hand and can barely take your eyes off her. But sadly you got pulled away from Margaret who showed you off to some of the others.

The night comes closer and some of the people left early. At the end it was just Margaret, Sarah you and two other people who actually decided to sleep over.

"You like her, huh?" Margaret suddenly asks you while you were in the kitchen, eating a cookie.

"I don’t know who or what you’re even talking about." You lie. You face flushes ever so slightly.

Oh god, did I really make it this obvious? What if Sarah thinks I’m a creep now… oh god… You think to yourself.

"Don’t play dumb! We know!" Margaret says and bites her lower lip smiling.

We? What the hell does she mean "we all know"

"What do you mean we all know? Who knows?" You ask.

"Well, everyone… and we all think you should go for it. You and Sarah would make a great couple haha." Margaret says and smiles, looking at Sarah and then back at you.

"You think- I mean, what makes you think I’m into Sarah?" You turn slightly red again

"Well hon, you made it pretty obvious haha…" Margaret says and chuckles slightly averting her eyes.

Just when you were about to say something back someone called Margaret. You were left alone in the kitchen. Wondering if Sarah and you would really make a good couple… but you try to ignore those thoughts and walk out of the kitchen back to the others.

Later that night when everyone was getting ready to sleep you find yourself in the bathroom brushing your teeth and thinking about Margaret’s words.

"Should I tell her?… no, don’t do it she’ll never feel the same… but maybe- there’s a chance? No…" This is what your head kept telling you. You tried to think about something else but it was so difficult. Sarah was all you could think of!

After brushing your teeth and putting on your nightgown you walk out of the restroom except the others to be there as well but to your surprise you only see Sarah, laying in the couch, watching TV.

As you walk out of the restroom her eyes fall on you and she smiles.

"Oh there you are! Margaret and Belle are sleeping her bed and the others decided to go with the guest room… well now it’s just us." Sarah says.

No. No. No. No. you couldn’t do this. Sleeping next to Sarah?!!? No way! ……well actually you would really love that but… still you can’t stop yourself from blushing so hard.

"Oh just us huh…" You smile.

Sarah smiles as well before she pats the spot directly next to her, waiting for you to come sit next to her.

You hesitate for a second before walking towards her and sitting down next to her.

Sarah still smiles, returning her gaze to the TV again.

You also try to focus on the tv but it was so hard when the most beautiful woman ever was sitting next to you. Oh god… you could smell her scent… she smelled so good.

You could practically feel your whole head spinning. You couldn’t focus on anything except the woman next you.

All of a sudden she starts talking with you. Pulling you out of our thoughts.

"So how come we haven’t talked before?" Sarah asks, looking back at you.

You slowly turn your face and smile.

"I don’t know… but I would love to talk with you more." You say with a soft smile.

"Me too. You’re really pretty you know that?" Sarah says while her hand move to a little strand of your hair, pushing it behind your ear.

Your face flushed extremely hard. Her words. Her hand. Her smile… oh Jesus…

"Oh my- thank you very much! This mean a lot…" You smile and try to stop yourself from blushing.

Sarah smiles and caresses your cheek…

The night goes on and you find yourself talking and laughing with Sarah about the most random things. She really was as funny as you always thought… and sooo pretty.

After some time Sarah says something that left you blushing once again…

"So… someone told that you like me." Sarah says and smirks slightly.

You blush, your eyes widen a little.

"Oh well- uhm- sure I like you! I mean how could I not? haha.." you smile

"Well, romantically or…?" Sarah asks, tilting her head a little. Her smile never left her face.

You don’t answer for a moment hesitating what to say. Then you decide; now or never. This was your chance. So yes, you told her.

"Yes. Sarah. I like you. Romantically." You say finally. You feel so free now that you’ve finally confessed your love to her.

Sarah doesn’t answer.

That makes you unsure for a moment. Blushing again.

Then Sarah bites her lower lip. Her gaze falling on your lips before she suddenly kisses you.

Your eyes widen but you immediately give in the kiss. Closing your eyes, her hand slowly finding her cheek, caressing it.

Sarah deepens the kiss, her tongue entering your mouth and her hand finding the back of your head, pulling you close.

After what felt like an eternity you slowly break the kiss. Opening your eyes again and looking into Sarah’s.

Sarah’s eyes were practically sparkling with love. She slowly kisses you again but you break the kiss and and rest your forehead against hers.

"Do you… do you feel the same?" You ask her, breathlessly staring in her beautiful brown eyes.

Sarah nods slowly. Her eyes moving between your eyes and lips.

"Yes.. y/n I feel the same."

"I love you." She says.

A smile forms on your lips as you hear her.

"I love you too Sarah. So. Much." You say and kiss her gently again.

The night goes on and nothing "special" happened between the two of you. After all the others were just a room away and the walls weren’t exactly sound proof… however, the most beautiful thing happened when you both decided to go to sleep. You end up in Sarah’s arms, your face nuzzled in her neck, smelling her sweet scent better than ever before. Sarah’s arms wrapped around your shoulders and her lips gently kissing your cheek from time to time. It felt like heaven and sooner or later you fall asleep in the sweet embrace of Sarah’s arms.

[islandtarochips]

OC Interview: Tiala “Shark” Toa

Talofa everyone! I just wanted to post something up here that I suddenly saw one of @kaitaiga 's post about her OC being interviewed! Which you will see it right here! And so I thought that I could joined in! By using that form! And also doing in YOUR point of view (as the interviewer)! So I hope you guys liked it!

November 2024

You have never thought of interviewing someone in Hawaii. Where the Marine Base would be at. And yet, here you are. You started to feel excited and a bit nervous as you followed a man into the training field. “Thank you so much for bringing me here, sir! I’m a bit nervous to meet her.”

The brown skin man gave you a smile as he nodded. “Of course! I’m just surprised that any interviewer was actually interested in our Task Force.”

“Yes! You guys are a BIG inspiration around the pacific! I heard so much about you guys from the state!” You started to beam up when you explained to the Captain that one of her relatives knows the Warriors Task Force. “And I’m very grateful that YOU agreed with this, Captain!”

The man, who had introduced himself as Kanoa, smiled a bit as he glanced at you over his shoulder. “No problem. I’m just surprised that your relatives are an old buddy of mine when I first joined the Marines.”

Soon the two of you had made it to the big field, seeing so many different groups of soldiers doing different training. Kanoa had looked around before grabbing a chair for you.

“Take a seat here. I’ll go and get her. And there’s no need to be nervous. She may look mean but she won’t bite. Promise.” Kanoa said as he winked at you.

You nodded as you sat down and watched him walk over to that one group. You saw him talking to the woman who seems like she’s busy training the recruits. You started to feel a bit anxious of how she looks at the man. You even question yourself if you’re bothering her.

You could feel your cold sweat dripping on the side of your head, even your palms are getting sweaty too. Soon you saw the woman nodded at Kanoa before making her way towards you. You sat up straight and quickly grabbed your notepad and your pen. But you accidentally dropped your pen from being nervous. “Shit.”

As you were about to pick it up, you saw another hand had picked it up instead. Soon you looked up to see the same woman in front of you. You slowly gulped down as you sat up. “H-Hi! Um…”

You had tried to speak but you still felt nervous all of a sudden. You don’t know why you felt like that from her.

“You’re the one who’s interviewing me?” The woman asked while giving that emotional look as she handed you your pen.

You cleared your throat and slowly took it before sitting up straight. “Y-Yes. I hope I wasn’t interrupting, ma’am.”

“You did but you gave me a great excuse to get away from those mofos. Can’t even get it right when I TOLD them to do something. O le mea lena e tupu pe a e paie.”

You tilted your head a bit when hearing her speak in a different language.

She noticed your head tilting as she sighed. “Sorry. Out of habit when someone pisses me off. But anyway, are we going to do the interview or what?”

You got your pen and notepad ready as you nodded. “Of course! We’ll start off with the basics!”

Basis

Name

“Tiala Toa. You may call me Shark if you want. First Sergeant of the Marine Corps and the Second in Command of the Warriors Task Force. And also the daughter of the retired Colonel of the Army. And even the sister of the Vice Admiral of the Navy, the Colonel of the Marines and even the Captain of the Marines as well. Who is also the leader of the Warriors Task Force. What? Too much? Too fast? ……well, you could’ve written it faster then.”

Are you single?

“I’m single.”

Birthplace?

“Born and raised in American Samoa. I really do enjoy staying on the island but sometimes I feel like I want to go away from there. AWAY from the dramas. Because almost every day it HAS to have family dramas in it.” She gently rubbed the side of her neck as she was trying to clear her throat in an awkward way. “Nothing bad really. It’s just…It’s just how we Samoans handled things between families.”

Hair Colour?

Tiala was in silence for a few seconds before gently touching her braided hair. And pulled it over her shoulder for her to take a look at it. “……it’s blonde.” She looked back at you. “It’s definitely blonde.”

You know she was being sarcastic so you just wrote down black as her hair color.

Eye Colour?

She pointed at her eyes. “Brown. Most of my family kept saying that I have my mom’s eyes and the others said I have my dad’s eyes.” She sighed as she shook her head in a disappointing way. “Both of them have BROWN. EYES. What do they even MEAN?” She facepalm gently as she groaned.

Birthday?

“November 19th. I’m turning 27 in the next few days. Planning to take my leave to go home to…visit someone. Always do this every year. Not a SINGLE year that I’ve missed every time I take my leave on my birthday. Unless, there’s a mission coming up. I have to postpone that but at least they’ll give me an extra month to have my leave after the mission.”

Gender

She’s starting to give that unamused look as she crosses her arms. “That should be easy enough for you to ANSWER that. I’m not gonna say anything.”

Mood?

“Tired. Annoyed. Wanting to strangle someone SO badly. Don’t worry, I won’t do it on you….maybe.”

Are you happy?

“Right now? No. Unless you get me something good to eat. I really do miss eating some Hawaiian Poke or Samoan Oka. THAT I’ve been craving for.” She then sighs before leaning back against the chair as she thinks about something. “But…there are some things that make me happy. And…I really am glad that I’ve met them. And seeing my brother most of the time.”

Are you angry?

“Not really now. But I sure will be once we’re done with this interview. Because right when I go back there. THOSE people will get on my nerves in ONE second.”

Summer/Winter?

“Summer.” She said with no hesitation. “I HATE the winter. It always makes me SNEEZE every 5 seconds! Kefe ia…one time of that mission when my brother, my team and I went to ALASKA to assist the squad team. Everyone kept staring and laughing at me when the cold chill hit through my fucking face. Blast and Squirrel won’t stop wheezing when I sneeze. They said they found it CUTE. I find it REALLY annoying. And I took my sick leave for three weeks. THREE. FUCKING. WEEKS. And it was terrible…”

Morning/Afternoon

Tiala started to think for a moment before looking at the interviewer. “I may not be a morning person to wake up. BUT. When I’m in a good mood for it. Morning is really nice. Just need to get up and see the sun rising up. It was beautiful.”

Eight things about your life

Are you in love?

“......Sorry but I’m not going to answer that. Next one please?”

Who ended your last relationship?

“Ah. It was my Ex-Boyfriend who ended our relationship. Back in high school during our Senior Years. He dumped me during the prom events. But before that he was trying to give me one last chance if I wanted to be with him and…he…did things that I don’t WANT to do. So he told the truth that he’s been cheating on me and broke up with me at that time.” She paused for a moment as she rubbed her neck a bit. Remembering all those words that he had said to her. She took a deep breath before continuing on. “Well, at least he got beat up by my 9-year-old baby brother. Yes. He was 9 but IF you saw him at that time. You will think he was 12-years-old with a bit of a chubby muscle.”

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

She started to chuckle at that question. “Pele, ever since that break-up in high school. I hardly dated ANY men during that time. So you could imagine how many times that I’ve turned most of those men down. I mean…they ARE nice but I’m just not ready to go on the dating stage yet.”

Are you afraid of commitments?

“......yes…and no. It’s…It depends on who I’m looking for. I may be rough around the edges but in a relationship. I sometimes question myself if I even DESERVE it.” She started to lean back against the chair and crossed her arms. “Heh. That bastard and his words are still stuck in my head. So I don’t know if I ever wanted to get married or not…”

Have you hugged someone within the last week?

“No. Not really but…I would like to hug someone right about now.”

Have you ever had a secret admirer?

“Awkwardly. Yes. About one or two to be honest. One of them was REALLY into me and…it does make me feel guilty when I turned them down. But at least they respected my decision. Don’t know if they respected me as their First Sergeant or as a woman. Don’t know.”

Six Choices

Love or Lust?

“Love. Had enough dealing with people who had lust in their hearts.”

Iced Tea or Lemonade?

“Do like some Iced Tea. With more sweetness in it.”

Cats or Dogs?

“I like both but I’m more of a cat person. Got one cat and one kitten back at home. The cat is named Maliu and the kitten is named Fin. I missed them already…”

A few best friends or many regular friends?

“Maybe a few. Don’t want to have too many friends. You may never know that one of them might stab you behind your back.”

Wild night out or romantic night in?

“Night in. Nothing romantic or fancy. Just want to stay in. Watching movies or cooking something. That would be nice. I would love to have that time of relaxation.”

Day or Night?

“Daytime is nice. Good time to go for a swim at the beach or perhaps hanging out with friends and family. Might as well do some chores before having fun. Now I miss home.”

Four have you Evers

Been caught sneaking out?

“Nope. Because I already witnessed the consequences if I EVER did. You can ask my brother Rangi for that story. For HE is the victim of EXPERIENCING the consequences.”

Fell up/down the stairs?

She was silenced for a bit as she cleared her throat. “I uh…fell or made that TRIP a couple of times when I went up the stairs. I don’t know why my feet are getting clumsy.”

Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt?

“Wanting some peace and quiet? Yeah. VERY badly. I’m getting tired of hearing these people complaining so much about the training and missions and all that. What do you expect? Getting something out of a silver platter? That’s just being a spoiled bitch that’s what I would say.”

Wanted to disappear?

“......To be honest…after everything that I’ve been through. From a couple of years ago. I wanted to disappear SO bad. Afraid of what those people might see or think of me. And afraid of WHO I’m seeing with. I just can’t handle it. Wanting to get away from this cruel shitty world. But…” Her voice started to sound soft. “Thanks to my family's support. Including my brothers. I…I feel like that they have carried all of my burdens out of me. And I could have never been better.”

Four Preferences

Smile or Eyes?

The woman paused for a bit to think. “Man, that’s a tough one. Mmm. I would go for a smile. Really enjoy seeing some people smile on their faces. It really suits them. Even for the grumpy ones too.”

Shorter or Taller?

“Taller. I can go with the shorter ones too. I don’t care but I’m leaning more towards the taller ones. Easy for me to kick their balls if they ever crossed the line. Hehehe….I’m joking but I might if they DID cross the line.”

Intelligence or Attraction?

“Ok. I may be a smart woman to most people but not THAT smart. Like, I’m not Dr. Einstein smart. I still have my ways of being intelligent but I would rather have someone who won’t confuse me with their smart ass mouth. So attraction WITH a bit of intelligence is all I ask for…mostly towards the attraction.”

Hook-Up or Relationship?

“Relationships. I…I know I said that I’ve been AVOIDING to have one. It’s just…I’m…n-never mind. I’m not gonna explain it. So yeah, relationships.”

Family

Do you and your family get along?

“Oh we have our ups and down but that doesn’t mean we don’t LOVE each other anymore. I love my family. My parents, my older and younger brothers, my aunties and uncles, my nieces, nephews and cousins. Even my grandparents and THEIR siblings. I love ALL of them! Except those TWO people that we all despised but we had to tolerate. Is my Uncle’s, my dad’s older brother, WIFE and spoiled ass DAUGHTER. Those two are SOOOOOOOOOO…UGH! Those two are just a bunch of KEFES. Always bragging and always showing off of their new life in the STATES. Like dude, most of our family are in the states too! You’re nothing special!” She soon takes a deep breath and calms herself down before looking at you. “You’re…not gonna write that down are you?”

Would you say you have a ‘messed up’ life?

“Uh…I would say…yes. Before and after joining the military. That’s all I’m going to say.”

Have you ever run away from home?

“Not really. And even if I DID run away from home. My other family would snitch on me and mama would beat me up for doing that.”

Have you ever gotten kicked out?

“No.”

Friends

Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

“Right now? No. From before? Yes. Who was it? I’m not gonna tell.”

Have you considered all your friends’ good friends?

“Some of them, yeah. We’re all here to do our jobs. And if I see them doing what they were SUPPOSED to do then I’ll consider it as…a good alliance.”

Who is your best friend?

“I used to have TWO though. Their names are Ela Anand and Herman Black. Those two…they’re everything to me the first time I’ve joined the Marines. We always have each other's back….now they’re gone. They’ve died in great honor that I will continue to fight for.”

Who knows everything about you?

“Kanoa…always Kanoa. I mean, my other brothers, yes. But Kanoa is the only one who understands me more. He’s always there for me when I need him the most.”

—-------

You wrote down that last sentence before smiling at the report. “Alright then! That’s about it! Thank you so much for taking your time and answering my questions, First Sergeant!”

Tiala nodded at the interviewer before standing up. “Of course. Glad to be a servant.”

As you stood up, you noticed her clearing her throat as she was trying to get her attention.

“Say…I’ve got a question for you.”

You held your notepad close as you started to feel your heart beating a bit fast from being so nervous. “Y-Yes, ma’am?”

“Why of all people would you interview ME? My brother would be a better option since he has more experience than I have.”

You just blinked for a bit as you shrugged at her response. “I don’t know. I just…feel like that you’re the one that I’ll be interviewing me.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“I-I know. It’s just…I have that gut feeling when I saw your photo online about your Task Force and all of a sudden…something or someone had pushed me to see you. So…here we are.”

The First Sergeant just stared at you for a moment before turning her back from you and just walked away. “Thank you. I should be going now. It’s nice doing this interview with you.”

“O-Oh uh…you’re welcome?” You just watched her walked back to her group and smiled to see her yelling at them to get up on their feet. You giggled a bit before seeing Kanoa had just stepped in.

“So, you had fun?” The Captain ask while watching his sister scolding the recruits.

“Yeah. And thank you again, sir. For letting me in here.”

“Of course! Whoever is a friend of that relative of yours, is a friend of mine. Now come on, let me take you to get something to eat.”

“Oh yes please!”

Kanoa chuckled as he took you inside the mess hall.

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[jaslan4f1]

Love at 300 km/h Part 3

Masterlist

Warnings: friends to lover kinda thing, fluff & angst

Notes: english is not my native language so this may contain consistency errors, i would really appreciate the corrections but please, be kind. feedback is also appreciated ♡

Summary: You and Lando are close but neither of you tried being more than friends. What happens when you both finally realize that love is right infront of you?

As the plane landed all Lando could think about was asking about the Pierre situation. He wanted to hear it from you. He wanted to know the truth. He took out his phone and started texting you.

Lando: Can I come over, just landed btw?

Y/N: Sure thing. See you soon :)

After 30 minutes you heard a knock on your apartment. You opened the door and saw an exhausted version of Lando. “Hey come on in“ you said and made space so that he could pass you. You closed the door and followed Lando into your tiny living room. You looked at him and saw that he wanted to say something. “Look Y/n I wanna be honest with you.“ Lando begin speaking and both of you said on your couch. “If we’re going to cross that line and risk our friendship I want that we know everything about each other. No secrets, okay?“ you looked at him and nod. “Okay, because I can’t lose you, you are to important for me. I need you in my life. And I need to know the truth about you and Pierre“ he breathed out. Your eyes grew wide and you stopped breathing. Pierre how the hell did he know about Pierre? “Lando how did you“ you started “Does it matter? Y/n my heart calls your name, if I’m not near you its hard for me to breath but for god sake I need to know what happened with him and you.“ he shouted.

> 4 month ago <

Lando, the F1 grid and you were in a club and celebrated the end of the weekend. Lando was djing and you were on the dance floor enjoying yourself. You danced with Daniel and joked with him about Lando. “Yeah I don’t know why he did it.“ you shouted in his ear because of the loud music. Suddenly you felt someone tap your shoulder. You turned around. “Piiiieeeerrrreee Gaaaaassssllllyyy“ you and Daniel screamed. Pierre laughed and leaned in “Can I get you a drink?“. You accepted Pierres offer and drank many shoots with him. All you could remember was waking up in his hotel room, in his bed, naked. “Fuck“ you commented. A voice from the bathroom ended your thoughts how you ended up here and with who. “That’s exactly what we did“ he laughed. You slept with Pierre Gasly, shit. You both agreed to pretend that it never happened. 1 month later you were at a club in Monaco and Lando couldn’t come and pick you up. So you called Pierre because no one else picked up. After he brought you home you invited him in and one thing lead to another. Pierre and you agreed to become friends with benefits because you actually enjoyed speaking with him and the sex with him was just a bonus. After a while you realised that your feelings for Lando were becoming stronger so you ended it. Both of you agreed that you were better of as friends and that you that there where no feelings involved. That’s what you thought because Pierre actually had involved feelings for you.

> back to present <

“Y/n did you fuck Pierre? Talk to me“ he whispered. Tears stared forming in your eyes. “Fuck yes I did. And I know that you both don’t get along that well and I know I probably ruined it between us. I am just a human I make mistakes to Lando ok! I ended it because…“ you stopped. “Because of what?“ You stood up and stopped looking into his eyes. “Because of what Y/N?“ He asked again. You turned to him and looked at him. You opened your mouth and closed it again. “Y/n I swear to god. Because of what“ he raised his voice. You remained silent. “If you don’t talk then I will walk out of that door“ he stood up and walked to your front door. Lando was just seconds away from opening the door. “Because I have hella feelings for you and I’m only a fool for you“ you cried out. Lando turned around, looked at you and then walked to you and crashed his lips on yours. The kiss was far away from what you imagined it to be, but in a positive way. Feeling his soft lips on your was magically. After a few seconds you stopped kissing him. “I will tell you everything but you must know that I never had feelings for him. You’re the one that my heart wants since it saw you.“ You whispered and laid your forehead on his. Lando had mixed feelings. Lando adored you, he loved kissing you. Of course he believed you but he didn’t trusted Pierre and his actions. What if he still wanted you, would you choose him? But at the same time Lando was sad that you weren’t honest with him.