#sudafed or whatever …. Save me….

[cerealmonster15]

Lemme tell u lads…. Covid Sucks Ass

[crescentmoon223]

Chicken Soup for Your Soulmate

It started with a cough and ended with a kiss (aka how Mulder cared for Scully when she was sick)

For the @xfilesfanficexchange​ Fluffy February exchange, I received a prompt from @gaycrouton​, asking for “Scully catches a cold, and Mulder takes care of her.” I hope you enjoy it, Nicole! xx

Set during season 7, shortly after Millennium.

Read it on AO3.

Mulder tapped the tail of his tie against his belt, fidgeting with it to occupy his hands—and his concentration—while Scully turned away, covering her mouth to muffle her cough. Overhead, a tinny voice announced a gate change for a flight to Seattle. All around them, people hurried by, suitcases in tow. Another day. Another airport. Another journey back to DC after making a mess of things in the field.

“You okay, Scully?” he asked.

“Fine, Mulder,” she said, but her voice was hoarse.

He looked at her, noting the slight flush of her cheeks and the glossiness in her eyes. Dammit. No wonder she had been so quiet today. She was coming down with something and being her usual stoic, stubborn self. She hadn’t complained when she had cancer, so of course she wouldn’t make a fuss about a head cold. They’d board soon, and he knew from past experience how miserable it was to fly while congested.

He also knew the withering look he’d receive if he tried to dole out medical advice to his favorite medical doctor. Sometimes with Scully, actions were better received than words.

“Be right back,” he told her. “I’m going to stretch my legs before we board.”

She nodded, pulling a book out of her briefcase.

He made a pit stop in the men’s room before heading to the gift shop. He walked to the selection of travel-sized toiletries and medications along the back wall and grabbed a small box of Sudafed before perusing the snacks. Automatically, he snagged a bag of sunflower seeds for himself. Choosing something for Scully was more difficult. What would sound good to her while she was sick but still be healthy enough that she wouldn’t turn her nose up at it?

Of course, he could have just asked her what she wanted, but he’d wanted to surprise her with a thoughtful gesture. It had been weeks now since their New Year’s Eve kiss. Their first kiss. It had altered the dynamic of their partnership in an unspoken way, like an extra file wedged into the already overflowing cabinet in their basement office, once that announced, “You kissed, and you both liked it” in big, red letters.

So far, neither of them had been bold enough to make the next move, or even to address their millennium kiss. But he was thinking about it almost every time he saw her. Hell, he was thinking about it most nights at home alone in his bed. He’d been thinking about kissing her for years.

He’d been thinking about it that night he walked in on her and Eddie Van Blundht about to make out on her couch. She thought it was me. She would have kissed me. He’d been thinking about it that fateful afternoon in the hallway outside his apartment when their lips had been moments from touching before that damned bee stung her and sent him to Antarctica to save her. She would have kissed me then too. He’d sure as hell been thinking about it when he kissed that alternate version of her onboard the Queen Anne back in 1939. Not knowing if he was about to die, his last wish had been to kiss her.

He selected a cup of fat free honey-flavored yogurt. It wasn’t quite the same as her bee pollen, but hopefully she would like it. Honey was supposed to be soothing on a sore throat, wasn’t it? Two bottles of water completed his purchase.

She’d been more reserved with him since their New Year’s Eve kiss, as if she felt the subtle shift in their relationship as acutely as he did and wasn’t quite sure what to do about it. That made two of them. They were nothing if not masters of tiptoeing around their emotions.

He paid for his purchases and walked back to the row of seats where he’d left her. She sat, black blazer unbuttoned to reveal the gray shirt she wore beneath, focused on her book. As he dropped into the seat beside her, she looked over at him, eyebrows lifting slightly as he held the Sudafed, water, and yogurt in her direction.

“Thanks,” she murmured, putting down her book to accept his offerings.

“Didn’t want to listen to you cough all the way home,” he joked, immediately wanting to smack himself on the forehead, because he’d happily listen to her cough if it meant he was beside her.

She rolled her eyes at him as she popped a pill out of the pack and washed it down with a swig of water before opening the yogurt, and he felt smugly pleased about his purchases.

There was a fine line with Scully, not enough or too much. Over the years, he’d tended to walk on the safe side of that line, but lately, he found himself wanting to cross it.

“Got plans this weekend?” he asked, leaning back in the too-small plastic seat and crossing one leg over the other.

“I imagine my weekend will involve a lot of tea and Sudafed,” she said, holding up the package with a wry smile. She sounded even more congested than she had a few minutes ago. Whatever she’d picked up, it was hitting her hard and fast.

“Any interest in a Twilight Zone marathon?” he asked, imagining them sitting together on her couch, watching his favorite show as he brought her tea and wrapped her in a big, soft blanket.

“Pass,” she said.

“Flight 7921 with nonstop service to Washington DC is now boarding from gate two,” the tinny voice overhead announced.

“That’s us, Mulder.” She tucked the bottle of water and Sudafed into her briefcase before standing to throw away the empty yogurt container.

He rose, resting his hand against the small of her back as they walked to their gate, pondering his next move, just how far over that line he wanted to step once they were back home in DC.

* * *

A knock at the door jarred Scully from a restless, feverish sleep. She groaned as she dragged herself upright on the couch, registering the dull ache in her bones, the heavy pressure in her sinuses, the rawness in her throat as she swallowed.

God, she hated being sick. And she definitely did not want to see one of her neighbors right now. Hopefully there wasn’t a medical emergency in the building, because she wasn’t exactly in top form, but such was the life of a doctor.

She stood, tightening the belt of her robe around her waist as she walked to the door. A quick peek through the peephole revealed the only non-neighbor who had access to her building: Mulder. They’d exchanged keys years ago, a necessity in their constantly upended lives.

She unlocked the door and pulled it open. “Mulder, what are you doing here?”

“Brought chicken soup,” he said, holding up a plastic bag. “And a few other things I thought you might like. I can just drop them off and go if you don’t want company.”

She motioned him in, less annoyed than she would have anticipated about him intruding on her sick day. “What other things?”

With that signature Mulder grin, he walked to her kitchen table and emptied the contents of his shopping bags, revealing a large container of soup, a blue bottle of Gatorade, and a package of popsicles, plus some decongestant and cough drops.

She felt a little pinch in her chest that had nothing to do with the germs currently doing war inside her body and everything to do with the man standing in front of her. “Thank you. That was very thoughtful.”

“Want me to warm you up a bowl of soup?”

“Actually, that sounds perfect.” She hadn’t eaten much of anything today, mostly dozing on the couch in a miserable stupor.

He shooed her out of the kitchen. “Go sit down. I’ve got this.”

“Okay,” she acquiesced, too tired to argue. As she walked to the couch, he was already putting the popsicles in her freezer, moving effortlessly around her kitchen, a reminder of just how much time they’d spent together over the years.

She curled up on the couch, tucking her feet into her robe, trying to get warm. When was the last time she’d had someone here to take care of her when she was sick? She couldn’t remember. If pressed, she would have insisted she didn’t want to be taken care of. She was perfectly fine on her own, always had been, always would be.

But then there was Mulder, carrying a steaming bowl of soup into the living room, looking so happy to be useful, and really, where was the harm in letting him fuss over her, just this once?

“Can I get you anything else?” he asked as he set the bowl on the table in front of her.

“No, thank you.” She took another dose of the cold medicine she’d left there before reaching for the bowl of soup. “I notice you didn’t bring your Twilight Zone tapes with you.”

“I can take a hint,” he said, sitting in the chair across from her.

“Occasionally,” she said with a smile. She sipped the soup, savoring the warm broth as it slid over her sore throat. “Mm, that’s good.”

“I’m glad.”

She didn’t ask if he’d made it. She knew it was store bought. That wasn’t the point. He’d given up whatever conspiracy chasing he’d had planned on this sunny Saturday to bring her soup.

They made idle conversation as she ate, and then he brought her empty bowl to the sink. His cell phone rang, and he answered it in the kitchen, talking in hushed tones. Probably the Gunmen or someone else with a lead for him to chase. Her eyelids were getting heavy again. She lay down, pulling the throw blanket over herself. Mulder could show himself out after he got off the phone. As she closed her eyes, she realized she felt a bit better with a belly full of warm soup.

She woke to the sound of the television, the sharp blast of a whistle and the cheer of a crowd. She squinted through bleary eyes to find Mulder kicked back in the chair beside the couch, feet on the coffee table as he stared intently at the TV.

“You’re still here?” she croaked before dissolving in a fit of coughing.

“Got nowhere else to be,” he said, transferring that intense gaze from the football game to her.

She sat up, swiping at her eyes as the coughing eased. Somehow, he managed to look perfectly at home on her blue and white striped chair that was way too small for his oversized, lanky frame. He wore a long-sleeved Jets T-shirt with well-worn jeans, and if he looked handsome in a suit and tie, it had nothing on casual weekend Mulder. She had the irrational urge to curl up in his lap and rest her head on his chest, to feel his heart beating against her cheek and the warmth of his arms around her.

Where had that come from? Shaking her head at herself, she stood and went down the hall to the bathroom. When she made it back to the living room, he had a popsicle in each hand.

“Grape or cherry?” he asked.

“Cherry,” she answered, extending a hand.

He handed her the red popsicle, sitting on the couch beside her to eat them. “Feeling any better?”

“Maybe a little,” she said, although it might have more to do with his presence than a lessening of her symptoms.

“Want me to turn that off?” he asked, waving his popsicle in the direction of the TV.

“No, it’s fine.” She shifted closer to him as she ate, sighing gratefully as the icy treat soothed her throat. When she finished, he took the stick from her and leaned forward, setting it with his on a coaster on the table.

“Need anything else?”

She shook her head, suppressing a smile as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Gradually, she relaxed into his embrace, letting her side press against his, warming her through her robe. And then, because she couldn’t quite help herself, she rested her head against his shoulder.

He reached over and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, an unusually tender expression on his face. “Thanks for letting me stay.”

Her brow wrinkled. That was an odd thing for him to say.

“Been thinking about this a lot,” he said. “You know, since New Year’s Eve.”

Ah, the kiss they’d been dancing around for weeks now. This wasn’t exactly the best time to bring it up, but she doubted he was about to. They were both familiar with the steps to this dance, side stepping the things they didn’t want to address, instead sharing their feelings without words.

“Me too,” she whispered.

And that was that. He sat and watched football as she dozed on his shoulder, relaxed and comfortable, happier than she’d felt in a while, confident that this roundabout dance would eventually bring them together.

It was late when he finally stood to leave. “Want company again tomorrow?”

“Not particularly,” she told him, feeling the twitch of her lips that belied her words.

He clutched his heart in mock affront. “Your loss.”

“Thanks for today,” she said, gripping his hand in hers.

“Anytime, Scully.” His teasing smile faded as his gaze dropped to her lips, and something warm fluttered to life inside her that had nothing to do with her fever.

If she hadn’t been sick, she would have kissed him. She wanted to so badly. But since she ought to keep her germs to herself, she went up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his cheek. His hands landed on her waist, and his face turned, bringing their lips together for a sizzling moment before she stepped backward out of his arms.

“Germs,” she whispered, heart racing and a giddy smile on her face.

“Worth the risk.” He winked, backing toward the door. “So, same time tomorrow?”

Her smile widened. “See you tomorrow.”

[these-are-the-first-steps]

TATFS’s strategies for surviving illness with no health insurance- a long post

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a doctor, nor do I have any medical background. I’m just someone who spent a chunk of their time being too poor to see a doctor and scared to death and managed to figure out some basic things that worked, so consume and apply the following text using your own discretion.

So as someone who has spent a scary enough chunk of their adult life uninsured, I’d like to share with you fine folks my own personal general strategy for effectively fighting off nasty illness and avoiding a doctor as much as is reasonable. I’ve sucked out the beginnings of full-on upper respiratory infections with OTC meds before with my own combos and also some tips from pharmacists who took pity on me back in the day. The bare basics are as follows- 1) dry up what’s starting up in there

2) flush it out and keep flushing so it can’t take up residence again.

3) stop fevers that either get too high or refuse to break on their own (fevers are your body trying to kill the bad stuff, and I’ve experimented with letting low grade ones run their course, but if they get too high or don’t seem to ever break, you gotta stop ‘em.)

You can do this with three main things-

1) some sort of decongestant/antihistamine (used to use sudafed (pseudoephedrine) but now use 24h claritin (Loratadine) dissolve tabs- bonus in that it should still be on the shelves. no one’s panic buying allergy meds!). This will start to dry it up. (If you are in a risk group for glaucoma/have eye pressure concerns, cut yourself off after 7 days max for claritin. There’s nothing on the box to suggest it, but I did two weeks once, started getting suspicious, went to the eye doc, and I was on the line. 7 days is a safe cut off, though, and you should be good by then anyway.) 2) guaifenesin (aka mucinex)- super cheap stuff, has no known interactions with anything to my knowledge, and it’s probably the most harmless drug ever created. This is gonna break up all the bad shit and flush it all out so long as you keep up lots of liquids. 3) take TYLENOL (acetaminophen) for fever and/or pain from sinus pressure. And only tylenol. NSAIDs aren’t going to help you and may actually make things worse, especially with corona according to an article headline I saw. whatever, they don’t touch that shit anyway. Tylenol breaks fevers and that’s all you need to know. Deceptively simple, but it’s legit. Once you’re on this stuff, you have three main responsibilities- 1) DRINK LIQUIDS. I like buying 32floz or 1000 ml bottles of water or some mellow tasting sports drink (stay away from stuff with heavy dyes, it’s just bad for your guts. gatorade has plenty of light colored transparent drink flavors. Pocari Sweat saved me from a hospital trip once) because then I know that if I finish the bottle, I drank plenty of liquids that day. Yes you’re gonna piss yourself- that’s the point. Your nose will probably run a bit more, too- that’s the point. Time to flush the gunk out! 2) EAT THREE MEALS A DAY. Guess what’s worth investing in? Your health. Eat breakfast. Eat a bowl of soup with crackers for lunch. Eat something solid that’ll stick to you for dinner. You’re sitting around but your body is burning extra fuel to fight off illness, so feed it!! You’ll notice pretty quickly how much better you feel almost magically after having eaten a good soup for lunch. Throw caution to the wind and feed yourself. 3) STAY STILL. Most of us are stuck indoors anyway what with lockdowns and all that bullshit, but just stay still. Camp out in your room or your couch or something for a change of scenery. Doing work that makes you move a lot or heavy chores will run your body down when it’s trying to fix you up. You’ll get better faster if you just sit still, watch a little tv, and play video games/knit/crochet/something to occupy your hands. Even when you start to feel a lot better, give it a few days- you’re still fighting it, so don’t mess up the progress. Just chill, and relax.

Here are some bonus tips:

1) ECHINACEA TEA. Drinking echinacea tea is actually something the last doctor I saw recommended to me. Maybe do a cup once a day while you’re feeling badly. I wouldn’t do it as a once a day for the rest of your life sort of thing, but once a week is probably fine when you’re healthy. It helps boost your immune system.

2) Dissolvable zinc tablets. Now these were sold out last time I went to the store, but I think they’re great. They’re white tablets that come in a few flavors and you’re to let them dissolve completely. No chewing. Zinc has been shown in peer-reviewed scientific studies to hinder virus replication in the body, which is great. For this reason, it’s best to start the tablets the moment you get the feeling you might be getting sick to head things off and lessen the effects of the future illness, but do what you can. They take about 15mins to dissolve in your mouth. If you follow the directions to the T on the back of the box, you’ll notice by about day three that your tastebuds have sort of taken a vacation and food tastes a bit bland, but that’s just zinc for you and it all goes back to normal after a couple days of not taking them. Remember that the tablets work for viruses, not bacterial illnesses (although zinc can also be good for sore throats in general).

3) Multivitamins can’t hurt, and you can also easily cut half a lemon, squeeze it in a mug, dump a bunch of honey in there, and pour boiling water over it for a tasty, vitamin C-rich drink. HOWEVER, if you have serious, serious heavy gunk in your lungs, please stick to ice chips and avoid hot drinks. Ice chips were a miracle idea some desperate victorians figured out that actually started saving their kids from dying from dyptheria. I’m not saying give up warm drinks entirely, but ice chips can help significantly.

With all this said: Listen to your intuition and your gut and if you feel like nothing is getting better, have had unnerving scares with phlegm, etc. just suck it up and go see a doctor!! No matter what, you living is the most important thing on earth, so if things start to feel like they’re out of your control, don’t think about it, just go.

Luckily as far as corona is concerned, the majority of folks below the age of 40 will have mild to no symptoms at all, which...in and of itself is rather creepy, but take what you can get. As it’s something that also seems to like to cause upper respiratory infections, these above tips and experiences, developed when I myself had the beginnings of an upper respiratory infection, are hopefully useful, especially to folks who don’t have insurance during this spooky time. 

JUST TO REITERATE: I am not a doctor and the above is just to share what I do personally during times of severe to moderate illness with no health insurance. It’s up to you to decide what’s the best strategy for you.

Take care of yourselves out there, guys. We’ll be alright and this’ll blow over soon. <3

[mjrjolt]

Dropping Acid for Jesus. Are you kidding me??!!

DeVo 113: Dropping Acid for Jesus? Are you kidding me??!!

In his book, “God's Forever Family: The Jesus People Movement in America” by Larry Eskridge chronicles a move of God’s Spirit upon the counter-cultural hippie movement and evangelical Christianity. It first appeared in the summer of 1967 up in the Haight-Ashbury district of San Francisco. The book argues that this was one of the most important moves of God’s spirit during the 20th Century and I’d have to agree. I was part of that movement, and there were Christian coffeehouses in every decent sized town across the U.S. and around the world. From 1970 to 1972, I was the artist for a newspaper (The Hollywood Free Paper) which we put together near the corner of Hollywood and Vine in Hollywood, CA. For those of us living in Southern California, we chart the beginning of the Jesus Movement in So. California beginning with a march of 10,000 for Jesus down Hollywood Blvd on Dec. 12, 1969, where we ended up at Hollywood High where we had a Jesus concert.

In his excellent book which in my estimate & recollection, is very accurate—Larry Eskridge gets his facts straight on just about everything. Larry writes about a young hippie couple, the Dopps, who embarked on their new found odyssey with Jesus, they were hanging out with their friends, dropping LSD and leading others to Jesus. Steve Heffner, a DJ on one of San Francisco’s rock stations, visited Ted Wise and quizzed him as to what he was up to. Wise whispered to him, “Jesus Christ, man….He’s gathering his church in this period and a lot of people are going to be coming to the Lord…that’s what’s happening, man.” With that, Wise shepherded Steve Heffner on his first acid trip. Afterward, he recalled that it was immediately after coming off the acid that he had seen the light:

“All I know is that when I took LSD, I was a seeker, and when I woke up the next morning, I was a Christian!”

Now, this is the place in the story where some of you reading this are saying, “That’s not God. God wouldn’t do that.” And that’s my point, why not? Why can’t God bring someone to know Him while they are on an acid trip. And, I’m not advocating drugs. I’ve never used drugs, but I do find Sudafed helpful to keep me awake at times.

Here’s the thing--these early believers in the Jesus Movement in San Francisco and elsewhere eventually stopped using drugs as they grew and matured in their relationship with Jesus. They all can point to the day and time when the Spirit of God convicted them that their drug use was a crutch and a poor substitute, getting in the way of their witness and becoming a stumbling block to others.

As someone once said to me, “When we come to God, He cleans our ‘house’ one room at a time.” Eventually, God got to the room where they kept their drugs and cleaned that out, but He did so in His own good time. Were they still saved, while doing LSD? Of course they were. Does God’s grace not extend to and beyond the use of LSD, or alcohol, or whatever? Of course it does!

As I read this, I thought of all the ways that we “box God in.” We ALL put God in a box, saying or believing that He can’t do this or won’t do that. We LIMIT God and what He will do to bring others to the knowledge of Him, or what He will do in our daily lives to show us that He is the strong and mighty God, the Creator of the Universe.

Are you limiting God, or boxing in Him, in your own life, or in the lives of others. It’s such an easy thing to do. Especially if you hang around with religious people who want you to act and dress and speak a certain way, and they’ll probably say that you aren’t saved if you’re not reading the King James version of the Bible. There are so many religious people who want to make you as miserable as they are. Sadly, many of them are missing out on the joy of serving Jesus.

If you are new to the faith, chances are, you’ve still got stuff in your life that needs to be cleaned up—actually, you could be one who’s been a Christian for 20 yrs and you still have stuff that God is dealing with about, and maybe that you need to repent of…but God comes into our lives and He cleans house one room at a time.

So, your assignment is to get into the Bible, reading it, devouring it daily….and pray and talk to God and listen for what He is saying to you. He will direct your steps and you don’t have to be perfect for God to use you. In fact, just as the Dopps there in San Francisco were dropping acid, God was using them to lead their friends to a relationship with God. And after a while, they realized that they didn’t need the acid, and that it was really a crutch in their lives. They ditched the acid with God’s help.

When it comes to reading the Bible, as I’ve said before, if you don’t know where to start—begin in Genesis at the very beginning just like you would with any book. Get yourself a good Bible with a commentary like the Life Application Bible which has commentary on every page to help you understand what you’re reading. Also, watch my video series, “Firm Foundation Bitesize” which will help you to see and understand the Bible as one book, one story from Genesis to Revelation, with charts, pictures and videos to help you to stay focused on each lesson. The 1st two videos are on Introduction to the Bible and why you need to begin with Genesis. So, check out my Firm Foundation Bitesize series on YouTube. Just go to the YouTube search bar and type in: Firm Foundation Bitesize, and all my videos will pop up.

What’s the take away for today? Don’t box God in—in your own life or in the life of another person. Allow God to be the great and mighty God that He is. The Apostle Paul writes in Ephesians 3:20-21 (ESV) 20  Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21  to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

God can and will do more than we could ever imagine. Trust Him, lean on Him, dare to believe that He can transform your life and make all things new in your life and the lives of others. Let God do the housecleaning in your life, one room at a time, and just worry about yourself…don’t take it upon yourself to try to clean up someone else’s life. Leave that up to God…just concern yourself with doing what God tells you to do and you’ll begin to see God do amazing things both in and through your life.

Let’s pray:

Dear Lord,

I want to trust you to do exceedingly more than I could even ask or think…and whatever it is that you are limiting God and don’t think that God can do anything, or change anything, ask Him with now. Maybe it’s a financial situation or a medical issue or something where you’ve looked to the wisdom and skill of man rather than God…whatever it is where you’ve been boxing God in and not allowing Him to be the great and mighty God that He is, El Shaddai, The Lord God Almighty, ask Him to do it right now…to do that which far more than you could ever ask or think. Ask Him, right now. And then, believe that His is able, because He is the Almighty God who delights in blessing and meeting the needs of His children. And then, thank-Him…for what He’s going to do.

We thank-you Lord because you are the Great and Mighty God and because You loved us, You saved us and You care about every detail of our lives.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

BTW, I’ve posted some pictures from the Jesus Movement period at my podcast website, dalesdevos.weebly.com. Also some links where you can read up on the history of the Jesus Movement. Go to the Important Stuff tab and scroll down to today’s devo #113, and you see the links to some of the pictures. I’ve also posted much of this info at the Where Is God When Life Sucks Facebook page. So, check ‘em out.

You can subscribe to the podcast “Where Is God When Life Sucks” at iTunes as well as on Google Play Music, Podbean, Castbox, Stitcher and Spotify—and now available on iHeart Radio, thru the iHeart Radio app. You can go to my podcast homebase at mjrjolt.podbean.com where all my podcasts will pop up.

You've been listening to "Where Is God When Life Sucks," Devo No. 113—Devos drop twice weekly. The next Devo drops this coming Friday. Have a great week, and I’ll join you again, this Friday. Until then,

Shalom.

[firelord-frowny]

a visit to my university’s health clinic like 6ish years ago saved me last night omg 

i’ve been having a hella stuffed up nose lately and usually after like a night or two of afrin or sudafed, i’ve recovered from whatever illness or allergy it was. but i didn’t recover this time! And i have No Willpower and No Discipline Whatsoever, so I broke down and kept using the afrin, which will cause ~rebound congestion~ if it’s overused. 

And like??

you’re not supposed to use it for more than like two days in a row and i was on llike day 13 D: and i was like, jeez, this is a disaster, i’m gonna have to go to the doctor and beg her to help me unstuff my nose 

and so in my googling, I discovered that doctors sometimes prescribe oral steroids for rebound congestion if the patient is particularly miserable 

and it JUST SO HAPPENS that when i went to my university’s clinic several years ago, I had a similar issue for which the doc there prescribed me some oral steroids! 

And I still had them! 

And so I found them and googled the exact name of the drug and found that it is, indeed, one of the drugs docs might use to help with rebound congestion.

So I took some!

And I feel sooooo much better! 

[dupetitrenard]

Dr.DupetitrenardKnowsBest*™: Ow, my sinuses! Edition

Hello! Dr. Dupetitrenard, Ph.D, here to answer the questions you didn’t ask and tell you how to live your life better!

Oh no! Are allergies and/or your sinuses bothering you? Are you not even sure how to tell the difference? Is there a difference? What do you need to do to breathe again?

Dr.DupetitrenardKnowsBest*™ is here to help! 

1. Identify your symptoms!

Symptoms commonly caused by allergies

Runny nose and sneezing

Watery or itchy eyes

Wheezing

Symptoms commonly caused by sinusitis

Thick, colored mucus

Painful, swollen feeling around your forehead, eyes, and cheeks

Headache or pain in your teeth

Post-nasal drip (mucus that moves from the back of your nose into your throat)

Bad breath

Cough and sore throat

Fatigue

Light fever

2. Do you need to see a doctor?

Probably not! Most allergy symptoms can be managed with OTC drugs, and most sinus infections are caused by viruses and do not need antibiotics.

Do go see a doctor if

you are not improving within 7 days

you get better and then worse

you are running a high fever

any other number of scary things happen

you don’t want to blindly trust the advice of somebody on tumblr who is not an MD

3. OK GET TO THE POINT I CANNOT FUCKING BREATHE WHAT DO I DO???????

Priority #1: Go get yourself one of these bad boys. The neti pot is fine too, but I think the squeeze bottle is easier to use and generally more straightforward. 

Let me tell you how much I don’t give a shit if you think it’s gross, think it feels weird, think it’s uncomfortable. Pussy up you bastards. This will change your life. And if you are a baby-making person, this is one of the few options you have that are officially sanctioned by the usurpers (aka MDs) as definitely not giving little Kayleigheton or whatever crazy birth defects because fuck is it hard to be a person with a vagina/uterus sometimes.

Priority #2: Take a decongestant!

Before I go into medications, some quick notes

Many of these drugs have interactions with each other and other drugs/supplements you may be taking. Do your research.

For fuck’s sake don’t buy the combo drugs. Something that says “cold relief” or “flu relief” or “sinus advanced” or some bullshit is just combining a bunch of these, probably with some medications that don’t even work. Follow my instructions-- identify your symptoms and buy what you need to relieve them, separately. You will save money, and it’s better for your health.

Ok, so take a decongestant!

No not that one! If you don’t have to show your ID and drop your pants for it (or in Oregon, don’t need to drive to Washington for it), it doesn’t fucking work. It is junk. It will just raise your heart rate. Don’t waste your money. 

You must absolutely use real  Pseudoephedrine- Sudafed™. Just don’t make meth with it, please. I prefer to buy the 12 hour tabs but as with most medications, your lowest effective dose should be used. My lowest effective dose just happens to be “Hey Google how much sudafed can I legally buy in this state at one time?” Also as with all the medicines I am going to list here, store brand is my preferred choice because it’s so much cheaper, but if you have trouble swallowing pills, springing for the brand name can upgrade you to coated to make it easier.

Buy this one!

Pro Tip: Take Sudafed 30min before a sinus rinse. It will loosen the mucous and make it more effective.

Priority #3: Anti-inflammatories!

To reduce swelling in your nasal passages, relieve headaches, reduce fever, and calm your sore throat, take an NSAID- my preferences are Advil (ibuprofen) or Aleve (naproxen).

Tylenol ( acetaminophen ) is fine if you can’t take NSAIDs.

Priority #4: Guaifenesin (Mucinex)!

Get that mucous TF out of there! For this to work, you need to drink lots of water and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON’T THINK YOU CAN SKIP PRIORITY #1

When I made my brother take  Guaifenesin for the first time (I literally shoved the capsule down this throat like the caring older sister I am (calm down, he was a consenting adult and we were just joking around)), he cursed me for the rivers of green sludge that came pouring out of his body over the next day. But as I told him, that is the whole point of all of this. You have got to get the mucous flowing and get it out of your body to get better sooner.

4. I still can’t breathe! Can I take Afrin?

If you are desperate, yes you can take Afrin (or the generic equivalent). A lot of people are afraid of it because it can cause rebound congestion, but this fear is a bit overhyped as the effects are not permanent even if that happens. Here is what you do:

One spray in one nostril. Breathe in as hard and as deep as you can (that’s what she said). Wait 20 min.

Not enough? one more spray in the same nostril. Awesome, now you can breath. Sleep with the stuffy nostril down if needed.

When you need to use it again, spray the other nostril

Exception: If you are traveling on a plane and want to avoid the stabby sinus pains of death, use two sprays in each nostril 30 min before takeoff, in addition to whatever other drugs on here line up with your symptoms.

5. Now that your immediate breathing needs are satisfied, make sure you are addressing any possible underlying allergy symptoms with the right medications

take an anthistamine. There are lots of non-drowsy ones OTC now that you can take once daily. I recommend benadryl only when you are also trying to use it to sleep (antihistamines are almost always what’s actually in sleepytime cough syrups and that shit anyway)

Take Flonase! It’s over the counter now! Nasacort is also over the counter now! It’s a steroid, not an antihistamine, so it’s more like the anti-inflammatories listed above. Both very effective when combined with oral antihistamines, and might prevent your desperate need for Afrin.

Talk to your doctor about other nose sprays! I use a prescription antihistamine called Azelastine and it tastes TERRIBLE if you let it drip down your throat (that’s also what she said) but it works.

If you are not able to adequately control symptoms you think might be allergy related, talk to a doctor about getting allergy testing (or hopefully I don’t need to say this but if your reactions are ever anaphylactic for fuck’s sake take whatever antihistamine is nearby and go to the hospital)

If you are getting frequent sinus infections, especially those that need to be treated by antibiotics, you might want to ask for a referral to an ENT and/or pulmonologist (depending on if they are also morphing into bronchitis/pneumonia) to see if anything else is going on

6. But I also have a cough! You didn’t say anything about what to do about that!

I am sorry you have a cough. It is likely it will be helped quite a bit by the suggestions I’ve already given. Past that the most effective suggestions are

cough drops

honey (no, seriously)

hot tea

If you buy an OTC cough syrup, Robitussin is the most likely to work. But again, be careful not to buy a combo drug that contains other medications you are already taking. DM = Guaifenesin, which is fine if you are not already taking it.

There are prescription cough meds, but it’s unclear how effective they are. I do like cough syrup with codeine for when I am Dear God Just Let Me Die Sick because it can usually help me sleep, but neither my personal experience nor the medical literature can really say it’s actually suppressing the cough.

Anyway I think that’s it. Feel better, lovelies!

*Disclaimer: Dr.DupetitrenardKnowsBest™ is for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. While Dr. Dupetitrenard IS ABSOLUTELY A REAL DOCTOR, she is not a member of any medical profession** and has none of the medical accreditations of those charlatans who have usurped the honorific of doctor. Dr. Dupetitrenard has a Ph.D. in low-dimensional semiconductor physics. Her expertise on the subject at hand in this article comes thanks to nearly twenty years experience as a Chronic Allergy and Sinus Sufferer who has seen All The Doctors and gotten All The Allergy Shots and will eventually have All The Surgeries, probably.

**Disclaimer exception: She is sleeping with one though, so there’s that