#sucks to suck Howie

[kayfabe-is-king]

I see Don is dressed like Satan’s personal used car salesman again.

[despite-everything]

i hate being autistic. someone polished my boots too much and now i want to kill myself

[qveenpoppy]

anna wanted one of the ladies to be her mentor. lesbian behavior

[saintspock]

listening to my favourite scottish lads and Gerry goes off abt how disappointed he is about the kiss in platos stepchildren lgmgggnggnjgjdjsjjeje like yes. our gerry i am fond of you.

[princessfbi]

For the shivering prompts: bucktommy + 5 if it inspires anything! 💜

5. "Oh. I didn't notice. I'm... I don't feel very well." + Bucktommy

To be completely honest, Tommy wasn't surprised when he got the call. In fact, he was going to take a lot of joy in telling Evan I told you so at an undetermined date in the near future. Not now. Not when he was already down and out for the count. But soon.

If anyone minded that Tommy double parked in front of the station, no one said. As much as he was fully prepared to give Evan the ultimate I told you so of all I told you so's... There was also an itch beneath his skin that crawled up the back of his neck and wouldn't quit until he could lay eyes on Evan.

“Hey,” Tommy said as he spotted Chimney in the ambulance bay.

“Hey!” Chimney’s eyes lit up as he waved him in. “Thanks for coming. I would’ve called Maddie but she’s on shift.”

The thought of anyone else being where Tommy was standing made something coarse twist in his chest. It was amazing what a few near death experiences and an adorable blue eyed reincarnation of his own personal sun could do to a guy. It was the same firehouse where the mere thought of anyone even hinting at his sexuality would’ve sent Tommy running only a few years earlier. Maybe a few months earlier even. But that had more to do with the intensity of the ache in his chest from all his own deep insecurities prodding at him than being outed.

He fell for Evan Buckley hard and fast and it was terrifying still.

But Tommy wasn’t running. At least not away and he didn’t intend to do so again any time soon.

“Thanks for calling,” Tommy said instead. “I tried to tell him this morning but you know.”

He had. Multiple times. In multiple different versions throughout his house as Evan slugged through his morning routine trying to get to his shift on time.

Chimney snorted as he nodded.

“Buck’s got to Buck.” Chimney popped his gum between his molars as he led Tommy through the station. “Hey, do me a favor. I don’t love the sound of his lungs but there isn’t anything worth sending him to the ER for yet. Just keep any eye out and keep me updated?”

The tedious balance between humor and worry tipped further on the scale as Tommy nodded.

Something must have shown on his face because Chimney waved a hand as if to displace the slinking cobwebs of doubt that had crept into Tommy’s mind.

“I don’t think it’s anything some antibiotics and rest won’t fix. Probably just something he picked up when he fell into the drink last shift.”

Right. The rescue at the pier where their teams had crossed paths assisting the 133. Harbor station hadn’t arrive until after the incident where one victim had panicked and shoved Evan right off the pier giving nearly everyone a heart attack in the process before he resurfaced and held up a thumbs up to them. But Tommy had been able to sneak aside his wet pouting boyfriend shivering beneath a rescue blanket for a quick kiss to try and make it better.

Evan had said he was fine. He’d said that Hen and Chimney had looked him over and then Eddie after their shift had ended. He’d said he was fine.

A pit opened up in Tommy’s stomach as he stepped in to the bunk room and spotted him in the corner.

Evan’s long legs were curled up tight to his chest beneath a blanket that was still too small for his long frame. The fanning of his eyelashes shadowed against his pale face, splotchy with pink from the fever that was raging through his body and the thinnest wheeze whistled past his lips on his every exhale.

“Thanks Howie,” Tommy said quietly. “I’ll keep you posted.”

“Let me know if you need help getting him to the truck.” Chimney said in parting before he closed the door behind him.

Tommy sucked on his cheek as he stepped over to Evan’s bunk and bent down sit on the bed. Evan barely stirred, only curling into Tommy like he was the only source of warmth he knew even subconsciously.

“Evan,” Tommy said softly, sweeping his fingers through loose curls. “Time to wake up sleepy head.”

Evan’s face scrunched in annoyance before he tried to burrow away in the blankets his fist had pulled up to his nose.

“Hey,” Tommy said and tried not to frown at the harsher wheeze that fell from Evan’s lips as he exhaled. “C’mon baby.”

The full body trembling only seemed to rocket up in frequency as a bleary eye opened into a slit to stare up at him.

“Hey you.” Tommy smiled and settled his hand on Evan’s scalp, rubbing his thumb in circles at his temples.

“T-my?” Evan croaked before a congested cough rattled its way up through his chest. “Mm’Doing here?”

“Taking you home.”

A frown twisted on Evan’s pink plump lips. “I still got a shift.”

“Yeah,” Tommy said with a shake of his head. “That shipped sailed a while ago. Your teeth are chattering, babe.”

The mention of his trembling only seemed to make them worse and Tommy already regretted not bringing in his hoodie from the truck.

“Oh. I didn't notice. I'm...” Evan rolled his lips together like he didn’t know how to use them anymore. The fever blazing off him was already sending Tommy’s blood pressure through the roof. He didn’t think anything else could pierce through the armor surrounding his chest cavity until watery, tired, vulnerable blue eyes stared up at him in dawning defeat. “I don't feel very well."

Tommy pushed back his hair and leaned down to press a kiss to his temple. “I know. But I’m here to take you home now.”

Evan groaned as he tried to curl into Tommy like he could shield him from the rest of the world. God, only knew how hard he tried to do just that sometimes.

“Don’t think I can walk that far.” It was a quiet confession. One that was blanketed with humor to hide the vulnerability beneath it.

Tommy heard it anyway.

“‘S okay,” Tommy said. “I can carry you.”

He back wouldn’t thank him. Not for the distance it would take to get Evan from the bunk room to his truck. But he’d do it.

And Buck smiled, small and tired, but a smile all the same.

“C’mon,” Tommy said. “Let’s get you home.”

[kayfabe-is-king]

My birthday is in April and in lieu of gifts, I ask for Don Callis’s head on a platter.

[harmless-variety-of-garden-snake]

Can i get a bucktommy kiss nr.17 to distract, please 😘

Tommy's life used to be a lot simpler before he got tangled up with the 118 again. He'd had a few years of relative normalcy and quiet, and then Howie had called him asking to fly into a hurricane and nothing had been simple since then. He'd looked into a pair of blue eyes and his entire life had turned into one long series of complications.

For example, he used to just be able to give exes a birthday present and be done with the whole thing, but this is Evan. Evan, who takes care of everyone without expecting anything in return, who looked Tommy in the eye one day and told him he loved him and asked that he please stop running from that. Evan, who is turning 35 but trying to not make a big deal about it, because his birthday has rarely been a big deal, and so Tommy wants to throw him a surprise party.

Evan, who is home an hour early.

He meets him in the driveway with what is hopefully an apologetic smile and an excuse that he forgot to ask him to pick up some stuff at Home Depot for the gazebo they're building over the next few weeks.

"Do you want to go later?" Evan asks, and Tommy sees his eyes shift almost over his shoulder and realizes that someone might be looking through the curtains.

Thinking fast, he grabs Evan and kisses him, whirling them around so Evan's back is against the tailgate of the truck and facing away from the house. His boyfriend makes a soft noise against his mouth, and Tommy almost forgets why he's doing this in the first place. When he breaks the kiss, he feels dazed for a moment, and Evan is doing that thing where he licks his lips and tips his head down and looks at him through his lashes.

What was Tommy doing?

He sees the flick of a curtain out of the corner of his eye and remembers.

"So, definitely later?" Evan teases, his fingers curling in the space between the top buttons of Tommy's shirt.

"N-no, we should go now," Tommy says, even though he wants nothing less than to have to go out in public and pretend he doesn't want to be somewhere with Evan wrapped around him.

"You sure?" Evan asks, leaning in to nip at his bottom lip and then his chin.

Tommy is not God's strongest soldier, but there are a half dozen people in his house setting up a party. He can't ask them all to leave for a quickie. There's food in the oven, there's streamers being set up.

"Unfortunately, yes," he says, nuzzling Evan's neck and flipping off a cackling Howie in the front window of the house.

As he gets into the truck, he texts Maddie so she can take over the rest of the set-up.

Maddie

Got it! Chimney says to tell you your distraction technique sucks. I'm sure you did your best 😊

Tommy feels Evan squeeze the inside of his thigh as they back out of the driveway and sighs.

Maybe they can find a dimly lit parking garage near Home Depot. That'll keep them from the house for a while.

-

Later, when Evan looks properly surprised and looks at Tommy with a sunny smile and teary eyes, Tommy thanks Maddie profusely for taking over in his absence.

"The extra half hour you bought us really helped," she says, patting his back. "Also, you might want to put something on that rash."

He claps a hand over the stubble burn on his neck. "Is it that bad?"

"You look like you got wiped down with sandpaper," Howie adds unhelpfully. "Good trip to Home Depot? Saw that the truck bed was empty."

"They were out of wood," Tommy lies, squirming past the two smirking Hans.

"Oh, I'm sure there was plenty of wood!" Howie calls at his back, and Tommy hears the distant sound of a high five.

[kayfabe-is-king]

Upon further reflection, I realize this could also apply to Don Callis.

LOGAN PAUL DIE

[tanktopdiaz]

storylines tim is free to have for s9:

henren judging a science fair at chris's school. one of karens exes is there w their kid and shes trying to keep hen away silly henren looking for the thief style shenanigans. chris's project totally sucks but everyone is being really careful w him fresh from texas so they feign excitement and try to hype him up. confession style cutaway to him telling his friends he's trying to see how far he can milk the sympathy. he gets 3rd place.

the shapiros from the gender reveal cake pop back up. they run into the hans at a baby store and go "you're the hans? you're the [BLEEP] hans?" and the dad tries to fistfight chim. the family waited until the gender reveal to buy all their baby stuff so it's all blue and the mom is like *gestures to the baby girl in all blue* and we couldnt return any of it! later it comes out that the babys name is "Martin"

Return of The Elf

chris at church with athena. dm me for details.

have animal control be involved heavily with the opening emergency. buck is like a snow whiteesque milk maid up in this bitch charming all kinds of angry animals. turns out someone sprayed him with really potent dolphin pheromones so once it wears off they attack him to everyone's surprise. during roommates era btw. douced in pheromones...maybe a little flirting. and a curt goodnight

baby box. henren foster for a few eps NO CASUALTIES. while unloading groceries maddie make the decision to tie her tubes. chim says "uh like the gogurts?" "no howie. not like gogurts. like my fallopian tubes?" "your fallopes?"

bobby gets real bad ptsd around halloween. athenas working. may harry and buck do the "hey can i sleep over?" tiktok thing and he makes them french toast in the morning

everyone including the chief has a picture of ravi in their wallets and no one knows how they got there. chim and hen detectives at large are on the case (chims the culprit)

taylor kelly presses her life alert necklace thing buck gave her. she didnt mean to. incidentally, shes going through a breakup.

roundabout the same time as the above we get lucy back. somehow. incidentally, shes going through a breakup.

Karen and Maddie double book a hibachi cook and a spiderman impersonator for denny's bday. chim booked a magician without telling them. they show up all at the same time and its triplets. one of them used to be classmates with hen in med school

buckchris episode where strangers keep assuming they're father and son (eddie even dressed them alike that morning) and crucially this is after chris wins in a spat abt something petty so buck is >:( and chris is B) abt it

heneddie low stakes emergency and karenbuck team up to high stakes fix it for them. im talkin heneddie say they're not getting enough communication from the kid's schools about events and karenbuck unraveling a human trafficking ring that just turns out to be a faulty ai email blasting system

maddie and eddie dress buck and jee in matching outfits for a party. buck genuinely doesnt notice it at first until jee wont let him sit her down and shes telling people they're twins

call where someone finds someone else passed out in the park w these weird marks on his head and chim points out theres a lot of pigeons circling this one specific area and HE doesnt look into it obvi so ravi does and at the center of the mosh pit of pigeons is girl who's hurt like been hit in the head and all the pigeons are protecting the girl and they turn on ravi and we see ravi in the background scooby doo style running from pigeons chasing him and eventually they use him to lure them away from the girl. the story is the dude assaulted the girl and the pigeons turned on him. ending scene of the ambulance w the girl in it driving away and a huge flock of pigeons is following

respond to a sports team crisis but the team is sponsored by a strip club so they're treating these ornery big bulky men who keep fighting each other and calling out names like sapphire, ember, sassy, porsche, cinnamon etc with totally straight faces and chim is living for it trying to crack jokes w them but they're very worried for their hurt friend/enacting physical fights meant for a wrestling ring. someone labeled "chastity" keeps flirting with hen, then buck when she turns him down

buck has an episode long crashout over the price of saffron

an episode titled "spread open" abt the 118 having open honest emotional conversations with each other that opens on an emergency where someone is doing the espresso martini 'spread it open and flick the bean im joann prada the -' and when they flick the espresso bean it goes down the throat of someone at the next table and the music cuts off to the 911 tone

mara gets really into build a bear and human anatomy at the same time and hen shows up to work harrowed, frazzled, under eye bags, jittery, literally scared of the amount of stuffing littering the house

kittens found in the station :)

josh has to do a ride along for some reason and he asks to do it with the 118 because maddie wants him to spy on chim (nothing bad) and instead he sits front row to the buckandeddie of it all and he comes back to maddie incredulous she didnt tell him they were dating

[fangedxnight1836]

Characters of the day:

The Jordan Family!!!!!!

Most underrated and funniest family in all of DC.

They have the most relatable and hilarious family dynamics ever.

It is honestly funny whenever people HC or imagine that Hal is a loner, only child guy who clings onto the bat family or others too seek closeness when he has a whole family with multiple nieces, nephews and a cousin that adore him.

Neeeeeeed a family sitcom about them asapppp

We will talk about a couple members of the family and give our facts and HC’s about them:

(I included Helen in a different post, so check that out if you want to see her)

Jack Jordan:

The oldest child of Jessica and Martin Jordan, the brother of Hal Jordan (Green Lantern).

Often seen as the “golden child”, he was the most successful in terms of employment and economically.

Jack Jordan married a woman called Janice and had Two kids called Jason and Helen.

Canonically used to cheat on his wife with many people.

Took a lot of stress out on Hal when Jessica got sick.

Some HCs:

The kids all know the names of the women that he cheats on Janice with, they make a Bingo card with all their names on it, and compete with each other to see who wins.

Calls Hal, Jim and vice versa

Janice is in denial about the whole ordeal.

Jason Jordan

Son of Jack Jordan and Janice Jordan, twin brother of Helen II Jordan and the nephew of Hal Jordan.

Protective of his sister, and loves his uncle Hal.

Some HC’s

He listens to instrumental music a lot

Pretends to like phonk since his friends do, but can’t get into it.

He makes a lot of Pinterest boards for the things he likes and uses it as a bucket list for inspiration.

Sends Hal airforce memes and any references to Green Lantern at all.

Him, as well as Jane are the ones who update him on internet trends he misses.

James Jordan (Jim Jordan)

Youngest son of Jessica and Martin, younger brother of Hal and Jack.

Husband of Sue Jordan and father of Howie, Jane and Arthur.

His wife (who is a journalist) married him because she thought he was Green Lantern, later found out it was actually Hal and … yea….

Hal’s most supportive brother.

Some HCs:

Knowing that his wife thought he was Green lantern still keeps him up at night .

He tried to become a vegetarian once and then accidentally ate something that had meat within it the following day(he cried ).

He plays candy crush.

Howard (Howie) Jordan:

Eldest son of Jim Jordan and Sue Jordan

Brother of Jane and Arthur

He is quite a smart kid, often pointing things out that even Hal doesn’t notice, and speaking his mind when he feels like it.

Some HC’s:

Howie pretends to be a superhero whenever he is alone in his room.

He always wears the colour green when Hal comes round.

He was the class president in his high school

He can name all the dinosaurs and spell them out correctly ( idk i just think he likes dinosaurs a lot).

Jane Jordan:

Is the daughter of Jim and Susan

Sister of Howie and Arthur

Used to have quite long hair, but cut it quite short

Some HCs

She is definitely the rebellious type .

Asks Hal the come to all her parents evenings.

She loves the young justice group.

She once has split dye hair (Green and pink iykyk).

She probably had a Ben 10/danny phantom phase.

Arthur Jordan:

Youngest child of Jim and Susan

Literally a baby

Soooo cute

Some HCs:

He watches coco melon.

iPad and YouTube kids enjoyer most likely says “Skibidi” .

Makes aeroplane noises when Hal comes over.

He knows everything and hears everything NO ONE IS SAFE.

Harold (Hal) Jordan Jr:

The son of Larry and Helen I

The cousin of Jack, Hal and Jim

He is the third Airwave and has “radio powers”, his dad and mum were the first and second. He inherited these powers from his dad.

Is implied to be queer.

Some HCs:

He sucks at mortal combat .

He always tries to help out and keep everything sane.

He tried to do a back flip once for the first time it went terribly and Helen (his mum) instead of taking him to the hospital she phoned Hal.

Doug “Hip” Jordan:

The no-good distant cousin of Hal and his family.

Runs around in a lot of gang circles, and tried selling Jim in a green lantern circle to a gang in an attempt to get into it.

Hal got him arrested.

Drugged the whole family and used the kids to help him do it.

Known as the black sheep of the family.

Some HC:

He is always spotted at the wrong times when someone is either hurt or fighting.

He sold John Constantine a vape.

He tries to use Morden day slang to fit in with the kids .

He uses the term “Where my hug at” to anyone that approaches him.

[lostintheuniverseslies]

Part 1 • Part 2

This was only supposed to be one part but y’all’s feedback has me excited to write more.

He doesn’t remember ordering the Uber, getting into the car, or the drive to the hospital. All he can think about is Evan. Dying.

Evan. Alone.

Evan. Thinking he wasn’t the person Tommy was meant to spend his life with. Because of course, he didn’t. Tommy walked away like a coward.

He shouldn’t go to the hospital. He broke up with Evan. They’ve been apart for almost three months. He doesn’t have a right to be here. Doesn’t have a right to worry. Doesn’t have a right to sit with the people who didn’t leave Evan.

But he needs to make sure Evan is okay. He needs to hear it from a doctor, needs to see Evan with his own eyes—just once—to confirm he’s alive.

And then he can walk away.

Maybe.

But he doubts he will. Not after spending the entire minute and thirty seconds of that voicemail believing Evan was already gone.

The hospital is a blur. He barely registers thanking the Uber driver, taking the elevator up to the floor Howie texted him. He has only a moment to doubt his place here before Maddie spots him. She’s up from her chair in an instant, arms outstretched.

He expects her to be angry, to tell him to leave. But she wraps her arms around him instead, holding him tight.

And Tommy doesn’t hesitate. He holds on just as tightly, feels her body shake with silent sobs, and it unravels him all over again.

He’s never been good at showing emotions. His father, the army, Gerrard—all taught him that feelings were weaknesses. Being a boy meant sucking it up. Being a man meant swallowing it down.

It took a long time to unlearn that. But crying? That was something he only did in the shower, late into the night, where no one could see. No one could hear.

But today, he cried in his garage. And now, he’s crying in Maddie’s arms.

And he knows—if Evan dies, it will break him into pieces he’ll never be able to repair.

The breakup was supposed to protect him. Self-preservation.

But it meant absolutely fucking nothing when he knows, deep down, he was completely gone on Evan Buckley the moment he asked for a second chance over coffee.

“Do they know what happened?” Tommy asks when they pull apart.

Howie steps in, hugging him without hesitation and Tommy is too emotionally frayed to be surprised.

“I called him to see if he could pick something up on his way over for dinner tonight,” Maddie says, voice tight. “A paramedic answered. She told me he was hit by a car while saving a little girl.”

Despite everything, pride swells in Tommy’s chest.

Of course Evan would throw himself in front of danger for someone without thinking about the outcome.

“Is she okay?” Tommy asks.

“As far as I know,” Maddie answers.

“And Evan’s injuries?”

Maddie exhales shakily. “His surgeon just updated us. He’s stable enough for surgery but still critical. They’re trying to control the internal bleeding first. It could take three or four hours. The CT scan didn’t show any brain swelling, which is good. But that’s all we know right now.”

Tommy nods. None if it settles him.

Yes, Evan is in surgery.

Yes, Evan is stable enough to be operated on.

But people still die in surgery.

Maddie takes his hand, guiding him to sit and she doesn’t let him go. He doesn’t mind. It keeps him tethered. Keeps him from running.

He’s so fucking sick of running.

If Evan makes it through this, if he meant what he said on that voicemail, Tommy will never run from him again.

Within the hour, everyone who loves Evan arrives.

Bobby. Athena. Eddie. Hen. Karen.

Tommy feels like a fraud. Like he doesn’t deserve to be here. He can’t lift his head. Can’t meet their eyes. If he does, he might see them agree.

Maddie squeezes his hand. “You okay?” she asks, reading his turmoil instantly.

Something compels him to tell the truth.

“No.” His voice cracks. “What right do I have to be here? I left him.”

The words sit heavy between them, and when he finally looks up, Maddie is already watching him. Her eyes are still watery but she doesn’t look at him with pity.

“Wanna know a secret?” She asks.

The shift in topic throws him, but he nods hesitantly.

“I left him once too. Not just once but twice,” she admits.

Tommy stares. She says it like a confession. Like she knows exactly what he’s feeling.

“But I came back,” Maddie continues. “And he forgave me.” A small, knowing smile tugs at her lips. “Because Buck has a big heart, and he forgives. He’ll forgive you, too.”

Tommy lets out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “It’s different. You’re his sister.”

“And you’re the love of his life.”

That knocks the breath from his lungs. He makes a sound—something broken, wet, barely a laugh, mostly a sob. He doesn’t feel worthy of that title.

“He called me before help came,” Tommy whispers, voice thick. The waiting room goes quiet. He knows they’re all pretending not to listen. But he doesn’t care.

“He left a voicemail.” Tommy swipes a hand across his face, smudging away tears and grime, forgetting he didn’t clean up after changing the oil in his truck. “He called me.” His throat tightens as he struggles to make sense of it. “He was more worried about me being alone than the fact that he was dying. I don’t understand. I left, Maddie. And he called me.” He shakes his head, barely breathing through it. “I don’t deserve it.”

Maddie doesn’t argue. She just tilts her head slightly, searching his face. “Why?”

The question knocks him off balance. He blinks at her. “What?”

“Why don’t you deserve it?” She repeats, unwavering. “Why don’t you deserve to be here for him? To love him? Because you left?” Her voice remains calm, measured. “Did you leave him because you didn’t love him?”

“No. God, no. I love him.” The words come out rough, desperate. “I love him with everything I have.”

“Then why?”

“Because I’m not worth it.” The confession tears out of him, raw and unfiltered.

Maddie’s gaze remains steady as she asks, “Shouldn’t that be for him to decide?”

The question shouldn’t hit him as hard as it does.

“If he told you he wasn’t worth loving, would you agree?”

“God, no.”

“Then why is it different when it’s you?”

Tommy doesn’t have an answer.

Maddie lets the silence settle for a beat before glancing around the room. “Look around,” she says. “Every single person here has made mistakes. But we fought for the people we love. We didn’t let the mistakes be the end of the story.”

Tommy swallows hard, his chest tight.

“Relationships aren’t mean to be easy every single day. You think Bobby and Athena never struggled?” She continues. “You think Hen and Karen haven’t had their battles? Me and Howie? I left him. I left him and Jee-Yun.”

Tommy blinks at her. He didn’t know that. But maybe that was the point—Maddie’s history wasn’t Evan’s to tell.

“When we’re scared, we run,” Maddie says, voice gentler now. “But people like Howie and Buck? They don’t keep that as a weapon to use against us. They remind us—every single day—of all the reasons we should stay. Until we stop wondering if running would be better.” She squeezes his hand again. “You just have to give him the chance.”

Tommy closes his eyes, exhaling shakily.

Maybe, just maybe, he can.

Hour Four: They’ve stopped the lung bleeding and removed his spleen.

Hour Six: Tommy stretches his legs and Eddie follows. He gives Tommy a hug and they don’t have to exchange any words because the pain is clear on both of their faces.

Hour Eight: Athena checks for updates on the hit-and-run.

Hour Ten: Pelvic and arm surgery complete. ICU next. And Evan’s family are allowed to visit him one by one.

Hour Seventeen: Tommy stands outside his room.

It feels like a nightmare. Machines help Evan breathe and there are wires everywhere. He doesn’t want to enter but he has something to say.

He steps inside. Takes Evan’s hand. Already feels tears welling again.

“I love you so much, sweetheart,” he whispers, voice thick. “I need you to come back to me. Please.”

One more?

Final part

[hardly-an-escape]

following on from this post, 780 more words of slightly angsty Tommy POV post-breakup

The second voicemail comes about a week and a half later. While Tommy is in therapy.

It's not formal therapy (what he thinks of as real therapy, though he keeps that particular bitchy thought to himself), more of a support group geared toward veterans and first responders. He'd originally found it in the weeks after Howie had saved his life, still reeling and feeling his mortality more keenly than he ever had before, and he'd returned off and on over the years.

Including now. Two sleepless nights in a row leading to a silent crying jag in the shower at work will do that to a person. So his phone is on silent and in the backpack under his folding chair when Evan – when Buck calls.

It's probably for the best. The support group has been leaving him feeling so raw, so flayed open, that if his phone had rung while he was sitting in his truck afterward, decompressing and chugging a bottle of water, he probably would have answered.

As it is, it takes him a good five minutes of staring at the notification on his phone before he works up the courage to listen to the message.

"Hey, Tommy. It's me. I'm sorry for… for calling you out of the blue like this, but," Evan sighs. "I don't know. I guess I didn't know… who else to talk about this. Not that you want to talk to me, but." He laughs. It doesn't even sound sarcastic, just dull. "Anyway. Eddie's leaving. He's moving back to Texas to be with Chris. It… it's the right thing to do. He's talking about selling his house. I know it's the right thing. But it's got me… I don't know, I'm really fucked up about it. I just wanted to hear your voice for a second, even if it was just your… your outgoing message. I'm sorry about this."

There's a muffled thump, as though he'd almost dropped the phone while hanging up, and the voicemail ends.

Tommy listens to it two more times, sitting in the parking lot of the slightly rundown community center where the support group meets. He realizes he's gripping his phone so tightly that the case is digging uncomfortable lines into the palm of his hand.

He aches for Evan. He feels the sadness, the longing, like a physical presence in his chest, a fishhook caught in the soft meat just below his sternum, attached to a line running who knows where. He feels as though something or someone is tugging on the line, a little meanly, every time he thinks about Evan. About Buck.

He drives home and ignores the part of his heart that's telling him to make a sharp turn and go directly to the loft. To knock on the door and see Buck's eyes light up, like they always did, and to forestall the inevitable disappointment at the memory the sight of Tommy would spark by simply stepping into his space and kissing him. To wrap Buck up in his arms and tell him everything is going to be okay.

It's a pleasant daydream. But that's just not how things are allowed to go.

Tommy makes it home and makes himself go inside, put his things away, and drink another glass of water before he pulls out his phone again.

Tommy: Got your message. I think you're probably right that it's the right thing but it sounds tough. Tommy: When does he leave?

The answer doesn't come through right away; Tommy wonders if Buck's on shift or busy with something else. It's evening by now, he could be out with friends, or having dinner with his sister. Tommy doesn't think about it.

E. Buckley: depends on when the house goes on the market I guess idk E. Buckley: it sounds like theres still alot to figure out actually.

There's a long pause. The little typing bubbles appear and disappear several times before the next text arrives.

E. Buckley: thank u for answering. how are you doing?

Tommy sucks in a breath. He doesn't know how to answer that question except with meaningless platitudes or devastating truth, and it doesn't feel like Evan deserves either one.

Tommy: Don't worry about me.

This time the answer comes almost immediately.

E. Buckley: don't tell me what to do E. Buckley: anyway I can't help it so deal

He doesn't know what to say to that either, so once again he leaves Evan – leaves Buck, fuck – guiltily on read and shoves his phone back in his pocket. He gets himself a beer and drinks it, too fast, standing up in the kitchen.

Maybe someday he'll have the balls to call back.

[xtarmanderx]

@jamieroyjamieroy Tagged me for several sentence Sunday, but I didn’t see it in time to actually write anything. I did make words yesterday though! But I don’t wanna miss on making more words, so here’s a little something extra I just did. I’m gonna call it ‘Gimme More Monday’ so y’all better gimme some words! I’ll go ahead and tag @equallyloyalandlethal and @snaeken for this. 😉

-

Tommy’s head is throbbing as he finally gets his eyes open. The lights above him go dark after a split second and he sighs, taking a deep breath. “Thanks,” he croaks out. His mouth tastes stale and dry and he frowns, blindly searching with his hand for anything to alleviate that feeling. Someone presses a straw to his lips and he sucks on it greedily, a noise of protest spilling free as the drink is taken from him. When he opens his eyes again, Howie Han is leaning over him looking exhausted.

“You know, I think I should just start a running tab at this point. How many times do I have to save your life?” He asks, quietly chuckling.

“I don’t…” Tommy’s brow furrows. “What the hell happened?”

“Car accident. You and Buck…you got lucky, man. And hey, he’s okay. Maddie and Jee are sitting with him right now.”

“What?” Tommy’s brow scrunches and he lifts a hand, rubbing at his face. A cool band of metal brushes against his skin and he goes still, staring at it. He didn’t go through with marrying her, did he? “Where’s Abby?”

“Oh no.” Howie whispers, mostly to himself. “Tommy…what’s the last thing you remember?”

“Captain Billings was…” Tommy’s face scrunches in concentration as he tries to remember the current captain of the 118. He’s only been on the job a couple of weeks, but he’s staring down retirement in the next six months. Just like the others, he’s not going to last. “I can’t remember,” he admits.

[quintessenceofdust88]

You know me

🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼

Hiii my darling! Hehe I can always count on you wanting Blobs content, and I made it sooo fluffy for you today ♥ I hope you like it!! - 🍼

“I’m telling you, I got this”, Chimney says confidently, holding two pieces of the unassembled crib in his hands, and Tommy, Hen and Bobby are raising an eyebrow at him in a way that tells him that, no, they don’t have any faith in what he just said. 

“Yeah, no, you don’t. We remember assembling Kevin’s crib.” Hen says, and Bobby nods enthusiastically. 

“Vividly. You sucked.” Bobby adds helpfully.  

“Didn’t you end up with a broken finger?” Tommy recalls, and Chim glares at all three of them. 

“You guys suck. I’m going to the other room and help Karen and Maddie.” He threatens, and Hen laughs, shaking her head. 

“No, you won’t, Maddie was the one who sent you here. She said you were a hindrance to their team”, Hen says, and there are snickers from Bobby and Tommy. 

“Betrayed by my own wife”, Howie laments, a hand over his chest as if he’s been fatally wounded. Then he shrugs and picks up the crib manual again. “So I guess it’s team old school 118 for the win”. 

Hen, Bobby and Tommy exchange an amused look, and they come closer so they can take a look at the crib themselves. When Buck and Tommy sent a help request on their group chat the day before, they weren’t expecting everyone to show up, but of course they have, and of course they decided to turn it into a competition, one team for each nursery. Whoever finishes last is buying the beers. 

Despite his pouts and protests, Evan had been very unanimously declassified from the competition on account of not being allowed to enjoy the prize or carry heavy weight. So he’s downstairs getting a cake ready for dessert, with the help of the kids. Tommy is pretty sure that, deep down, his husband is happy with that division; he loves being around Chris, Denny, Mara and Jee-Yun, especially when they are enthusing over the babies (which they do pretty often these days).

The teams, then, were divided; Karen, Maddie, Eddie and Athena taking over their girl’s nursery, while Tommy, Hen, Chim and Bobby are doing the boy’s. Tommy’s not sure if they’re doing any better than the other team at this point, but what he does know is that being there with his old 118 team gives him an unexpected sense of nostalgia. 

--- I hope you like it darling! Love you ♥♥♥ (make me write)

[atevanfool]

Prompt idea: it’s right before the funeral and Buck has been trying to keep it together but can’t and Tommy comforts him… carnally

Thank you so much for the ask, and sorry it took so long for me to get to it. I get easily distracted, and then I get tired, and then all I can think about it napping. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this.

---

"Hey." A familiar voice calls from behind him. Tommy turns to find Howie standing there, a frown on his already somber face. "Have you seen Buck? It's almost time for... For the funeral to start and he needs to help carry.." He voice breaks and he can't finish the sentence.

Tommy understands. He was silently thanking god that he wasn't that deep in with this crowd of people because he's not sure that he could've held back the pain in his voice if he'd been forced to speak. Clearing his throat, "No, I haven't seen him in awhile. I think he disappeared to the bathrooms but I haven't seen him since."

Howie sighs with exasperation and lets his head drop back. "Of all days... He chooses to make things difficult today." There's no patience left in his friends tone. Reaching out, he clamps a hand down on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, Howie. I'll help find him. How long until we have to be in position?"

He shoots Tommy a grateful smile before glancing down at his watch. "About twenty minutes or so."

"Great. I'll meet you guys at the door. If I can't find him in ten, I'll text."

"God you're amazing, Tommy." Howie gives him another appreciative smile before about facing and stomping away, yelling out for his wayward brother-in-law as he did.

Tommy watches him go for another brief moment before turning in the opposite direction and stalking towards a typically secluded area of the building; an area perfect for hiding away so no one can see you break down.

As he rounds a corner, he finds his target - crouched with his head in his hands between his knees. A soft sniffling sound can be heard but Tommy pretends like he doesn't hear it. "Evan." Tommy says his name as though there's nothing wrong in the world. When the younger man doesn't respond, Tommy takes the few steps needed to reach him and says it again, looming over him. "Evan. People are looking for you. The... procession... is about to begin."

"Tommy. I can't do this. He can't really be gone." Evan grips at his hair, pulling so hard it has to hurt.

Tommy's posture softens, though not by much. His patience is worn thin today, and though Evan doesn't deserve it, if he's not careful, Tommy will take it out on him. "I know. God don't I know it. But Athena needs you, Evan. You brothers and sister in arms need you. If you can't make yourself do it for you, or for Captain Nash, then for the love of God. Do it for them."

The sniffle is much louder this time, and Evan's body shakes. His hands go from covering his face to pulling his head between his knee's. Tommy can see how hard he's trying to hold it together, but clearly, it isn't working. So, he makes a decision. One he may come to regret, but it's the only thing he can think of to do right now.

Reaching down, he wraps one of his large hands around Evan's quivering bicep and yanks him to his feet. The man protests, wiping wildly at his face as though there's a dry eye anywhere in the firehouse today, but Tommy says nothing. Without loosening his grip even once, he navigates them to a closed door and yanks it open. More forcefully than he intends, Tommy shoves him inside and follows closely behind him. A string hangs from the ceiling and he pulls it before the door fully closes, illuminating a large supply closet.

The moment the latch clicks, Tommy is on his ex, pressing their mouths together in a hot, desperate kiss. Evan bucks in surprise but quickly loses himself in the sensation. It goes on and on, their tongues twisting and dancing, Tommy sucking on the tip of Evan's until Evan can't breathe.

Tommy's hands wander the familiar, taut body - relishing in feeling that slight softness in Evan's middle that he always gets a little self conscious over, even though he's one of the physically strongest men Tommy knows - paying special attention to his ass which he grabs and squeezes, forcing Evan to plaster himself sternum to toe against Tommy's own body. Evan whimpers, breaking away and panting as he rests his head against Tommy's shoulder. "Tommy."

"Evan."

"Why..."

"Don't ask questions. Just let me take care of you." Like I always do, and want to always be doing. Tommy steps back just far enough that he can drop to his knees, deft hands quickly undoing Evan's belt and dress pants, the zipper sounding like gunfire in the quiet. Evan's breath hitches and his warm, clammy, hands come to rest on Tommy's shoulders, fingertips digging a little too hard into the solid flesh.

Seconds tick by as Tommy works the pants down around his ex's thighs, exposing the black boxer briefs that sported quite the tent, all things considered. He doesn't take long to admire it, knowing that the clock is ticking. With the same swiftness from before, Tommy pulls them down and takes Evan's cock in his hand, stroking it slowly as he turns his gaze upwards.

Evan is staring down at him, expression crumpling more and more as they look into each others eyes. "It's okay, Evan. I've got you." Tommy wraps a hand around one of Evan's hairy thighs and strokes upwards, cupping his ass for just a second before moving down. Then, with no more preamble, Tommy sucks Evan's cock into his mouth, suctioning around the head, lapping at it until he feels the man quaking. The grip on him tightens but he pays it no mind.

Loosening the suction he begins to bob up and down Evan's shorter, thicker length. The main vein is prominent and feels heavenly against Tommy's tongue as he works him like a pro. After a minute, he reaches between Evan's legs and takes his balls in hand and squeezes them, putting pressure along the seam like he remembered his boyfriend adoring. Evan keens loudly, hips thrusting into the warm, wet heat of his mouth.

Changing pace, Tommy pops off and begins to nibble along the sensitive flesh, suckling at certain parts that he knows drives Evan wild. At the same time, his snakes his hand further between Evan's legs and presses a finger into the crease of his ass, following it down until it brushes against his sensitive hole. Unfortunately they had neither lube, no time, but that wasn't going to stop Tommy from stirring up the nerves.

Again, Evan keens, throwing his head back hard enough that Tommy doesn't have to see it because the supplies on the metal shelf holding Evan up clang unhappily. Grinning just a tad, Tommy sucks his man back into his mouth knowing that he's close. His balls are like boulders and his body is shivering with anticipation. Gently, he prods at Evan's hole, dipping in just a little without the help of lube to ease the way. He pulls at the skin, widening him up just the teeniest bit. He draws circles around the rim, eliciting pleased whines from Evan.

It doesn't take long for Evan to cry out, "T-Tommy. Fuck, T-Tommy. I'm c-coming. F-fuck." Tommy doesn't stop for even a second, sucking until the first hot drop hits his tongue and continuing until Evan is pushing him away from his over sensitized member.

They sit in silence for a minute while their breathing settles. Tommy gets slowly to his feet, checking Evan's expression. He still looks crushed beyond words, but something about his aura has quieted. He appears maybe a little less distressed than before. Without him asking, Tommy helps tuck Evan's cock away, using paper towels conveniently placed on the shelf behind Tommy's head. Once Evan's pants are neatly back in place, his uniform pristine, Tommy pulls him into his chest and lets what happens next simply... Happen.

Evan wraps his arms around Tommy's waist and screams, letting the tears fall freely as the walls he's built up crumble. Tommy stays still as his shoulder is soaked to the skin, Evan's trembling form familiar in his hold. Eventually, the screams stop and only the sniffling remains.

"Thank you." Evan whispers, turning to bury his nose into the crook of Tommy's neck like it was the most natural place to be. "I'm sorry for getting your uniform dirty."

Rubbing Evan's back Tommy replies, "I'll always be here for you Evan. No matter what happens. I... Know things are weird right now, but I care about you and I want to be here to catch you when you fall. That being said, as much as I want to stay here all day with you in my arms, Chimney will kill us if we putz around much longer."

Evan chokes out a wet laugh, stepping away, but not before placing another heated kiss to Tommy's lips, hands wrapped around his draw so that Tommy can't draw away until Evan is ready.

With a sad smile, they pull apart. They each straighten their uniforms, checking each others to make sure it's perfect, and then step back into the somber, oppressive room.

[princessfbi]

Kisses twelve for Bucktommy

Kisses + 12. Against a wall kiss + Bucktommy

Danger. That’s what he tasted like. Danger. Danger and those stupid freaking cherries he kept popping in his mouth whenever he lingered in one spot for too long. The same mouth Tommy couldn’t resist. Not even as he clawed his own nails into his thighs until he was sure he would bruise or looked away whenever he was near or ground his teeth to dust as he watched him flirt with other people at the bar. Did they feel it too? Did they feel like they were the center of the universe when those sky blue eyes were focused on them? Did they feel the burn in their chest when they watched those two perfectly plump lips lift up into a smirk? Did it matter? Because none of them were out there with them. Just Tommy. Just Tommy was getting to kiss Evan with a hunger that had been churning in his gut. Evan made a small, desperate sound as his back hit the wall behind him. His hands, his legs, wrapped around Tommy like he wanted to climb him like a tree. It was frantic and messy with teeth clashing and tongues battling but Tommy didn’t care. It was dangerous and stupid. Anyone could walk out on them. His whole freaking house was just past that barely propped open back door and all it would take was for someone to come looking for him to find him like this. The thought had his heart lurching up into his throat. Tommy sucked in a breath that burned harsher than whiskey as lips pulled away. He wasn’t ready. Not yet. Maybe not ever. Maybe this was all he could ever have. But he knew he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready to be seen that way. “No one can know,” Tommy said, his voice more of a growl when murmuring those words against Evan’s lips. He hated himself for it when Evan's lips were so soft. He bit after his mouth, sucking Evan’s top lip in between his teeth and pushed in with his tongue to stoke the fire some more. Evan shuddered in his arms as the filthiest little whine filled Tommy’s lungs. They shouldn’t. Someone would come looking for him. Howie probably. And Howie was the best of them. He wouldn’t look at him differently if he found Tommy with a hard on and the twunkie bartender in his arms. But he wasn’t ready. He couldn’t stop either. Not when his hands wrapped so perfectly around Evan’s waist. Not when Evan tipped his head up and chased after Tommy’s mouth like he never wanted to let go. Evan arched up into him and Tommy groaned as that hard unmistakable length rutted against his own. Pleasure sparked like kindling and Tommy was engulfed with Evan Evan Evan. He pinned Evan’s hips back and could’ve gotten drunk of the way Evan responded to that. Evan writhed beneath him. Fingers fisted in his shirt collar and tugged and pulled on the fabric until it was going to be so overstretched he’d never be able to wear it in public again. “Come on,” Evan said, grinning against Tommy’s mouth. Tommy bit another kiss for his troubles. “You think I’m going to ruin this? Do you know how hard it was to get your attention?” Tommy stopped at that, his heart thundering in his chest. “My attention?” Evan hummed as he nodded and Tommy saw it there too. That flash of vulnerable honesty that streaked across the cocky overconfidence. All that flirting. All that torture he’d put Tommy through and it was to get his attention? Tommy's? But that vulnerable truth? That small token given to Tommy for safe keeping? It made something in Tommy's chest flutter free from the cage he'd locked himself in all those years ago and for once, Tommy didn't want to chase it back. It was Evan’s turn then to hide. He skated his hands into Tommy’s hair and pulled him down, sighing into the kiss when Tommy blanketed him with his body. He fit so perfectly in his arms. Yeah. Tommy was screwed.

For @buddie-buddie and @bigfootsmom