#such a friendly welcoming corner of tumblr that makes me smile every time i log on hehe
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assorted post-atc test day ramblings and blogging ahead (sorry idk how to do a readmore lol)
The past few days have been so unforgettable I haven't been able to stop thinking about it all... I literally feel reborn, like a totally new person starting a totally new chapter of life! I haven't felt this happy in a long time, that sort of happiness that's mixed with so many other intense emotions and makes your head spin a little (my favourite). I mean the day of testing was absolutely brutal, like nothing I've ever experienced before, but honestly it was so invigorating - and definitely very motivating after passing everything lol. I'd been having some serious doubts about whether I could do it, feeling like my weird brain would sabotage me and prove that I wasn't cut out for the only dream job I've ever had, so yeah lmao I did quite enjoy the ego massage of doing really well and not even finding the tests super difficult.
Outside of the testing there was so much that was just... intoxicating in the best way. Travelling solo for one, cos I think that's one of the greatest things on earth, but really it was the people that I met that just filled me with such a feeling of, well, I guess love? As an aromantic I struggle with the idea of love, but personally this is my equivalent; a love of humanity and human connection and sharing the same experiences while coming from such different backgrounds. It's probably inevitable that you'll bond if you're thrown into a room together to do ridiculously intense assessments all day, but genuinely I've never felt so excited and chill and myself around literal strangers like I did this week. There's always so much hiding when you're queer/trans/brown/ND in majority cishet/white/NT spaces, but there was something about being around other people with the same weird niche interest that was fucking liberating.
I mean, this was the first time I've ever met other people (especially other people of my own age!) who are also nerdy about not just aviation, but air traffic control specifically - like, in day-to-day life you talk about this stuff and most people are like "ummm okay u do u", but holy shit... to be able to infodump to people who are also interested in the very same thing and ACTUALLY WANT a conversation about it is incredible! (Which yeah, is sort of sad when you think about it cos what a low bar, but society is just anti-autistic like that ig.) We just *got* each other on that level, and makes me hunger even more than I already did to be in this world because this really fucking proves to me that this is where I belong tbh.
There's also something so electrifying to me about random brief connections like this, when you know you'll probably never see them again (aside from the other people who got into the next stage of interviewing, ily cya in a few months!). Definitely not the first person to say this, but there really is a level of honesty and openness that this kind of experience creates that is legitimately beautiful to me. We spent hours partying together and sharing so much conversation, no small talk in sight, just learning about each other. The next day I was hopping from city to city with this one guy as we tried to navigate our way to the airport (there was a storm that had shut down almost all transport) and even that, although stressful, was a fucking adventure and I really sort of loved it and we got pretty deep into some fascinating chats. And like I literally asked some random people if I could take the last seat in their Uber cos I overheard they were going to the airport too, and that is not something I EVER thought I could do as someone who's often too scared to approach people in public lol.
Depression has been telling me for the past year that I'm not capable of shit, so this was the biggest and best fuck you to that because oh my god I actually CAN!!!! I can do shit!!!! It may not all seem like much to others, but I'm actually proud of myself and am seriously riding on this high rn. I'm treating this as a new lease on life and I'm gonna keep this energy going as much as I can, because my future is seeming more and more like a thing that will actually happen. I just like... ugh I love all the people I met so much in a way that would probably sound weird if I told them, cos it's not really "love" but just absolute awe at the whole experience and how amazing people can be. Intoxicating honestly is the best word I can use to describe it.
Also literally the first person who said hi to me on the test day was a fellow gay lol, I guess the gaydars of aspiring ATCOs are just that good ;) Anyway onwards and fucking upwards, next stop is the interview and then...? The thought of it is too much I can't even write it down lkjdfsdajkfljkdkjdlkj
#do i have a tag for my own writing/posts idk#i think i need an atc tag on my blog tho for all this nerdiness so#atc#oh and also what i said about being myself n feeling accepted applies to allllllll my avgeek mutuals on here <3#genuinely appreciate you so much#such a friendly welcoming corner of tumblr that makes me smile every time i log on hehe
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I wanted to post it yesterday, but tumblr decided it would not work with me. So - a little birthday mathom.
Of principles and safety
The first day in the forge was as exciting as it was demanding, all about rules and safety, but also about the purpose of all the exciting tools that were used to create marvels. Fëanáro listened to Mahtan, cheeks flushed with emotions, and he was even allowed to try to work under strict supervision of the master, who answered the myriad of questions that formed in the child’s mind.
Before he knew it, the second mingling was nearing and it was time to finish the work. Mahtan left and Fëanáro felt a bit unsure among the other apprentices. They were polite, but kept their distance, so he had settled for directing his questions straight to the master. With him gone, though, Fëanáro didn't really know what to do. He looked around. Two older elves continued their work, but most of the others were setting their tools aside and preparing to leave.
"Who cleans this mess?" he asked, as he could find no servant around. There were trails of coal by the hearth and water that had been spilled nearby turned into a black puddle.
Some ignored his question, but the elleth standing closest to him just shrugged. "That would be you. There is a broomstick and bucket with cloths in the corner," she pointed to the right. "Start with the puddle first, then sweep the rest. Don't touch the hearth. It’s hot." With that, she and another apprentice picked a basin with spoiled water that looked too heavy for one and headed towards the door, leaving Fëanáro speechless.
He blinked and turned his gaze at the others, but they were busy with their tasks, leaving him to wonder if the girl, who he knew was master Mahtan's daughter, was making fun of him.
"Are you in there, Curufinwe?"
Fëanáro smiled at the familiar voice. With Finwe around all was forgotten. Some of the apprentices gawked at the king stepping casually into the workshops, with a child in his arms no less. Fëanáro beamed, his joy dimmed only for a moment when he saw his brother. As Nolofinwe bombarded him with questions, he cheered up and started answering, eager to share what he had learned and please the child, thus please his father.
***
The next time Fëanáro arrived to the forge, he was welcomed rather coldly. The change of the atmosphere surprised him, as the apprentices had seemed friendly enough. Some ignored him, already busy by the working tables, some nodded briefly in greeting and resumed their tasks.
Nerdanel did not ignore him, though. She strode towards him and stopped but a few feet away, arms folded firmly on her chest.
"Why did you just leave yesterday without finishing? I thought my father told you to obey."
Fëanáro gawked at her. "Bu- But you told me to clean!"
"So?” Nerdanel glared. “Is it beneath you to do so?" The girl went to the corner and grasped the cleaning tools. “Perhaps you need more explanation. This is a broom,” she picked said object and demonstrated it. “And this is how you sweep.” She moved energetically, sweeping imaginary dirt.
Fëanáro felt his cheeks flush in anger and embarrassment. She was definitely mocking him!
"Alright. Nerdanel, enough.” Mahtan appeared in the workshop and towered over the children. “I will talk to Fëanáro.”
“Yes, Atto.” Nerdanel nodded and disappeared in the part of the workshops Fëanáro had not yet seen.
“Come.” Mahtan motioned at the doors. Fëanáro followed, feeling uneasy, though the master didn’t look angry. He already had figured that, strange as it was, Nerdanel had the right to be angry, though it had all been an misunderstanding.
Mahtan led him through the yard and along the house to the gardens, way beyond the earshot of the others. When they reached a table almost hidden in the blooming butterfly bushes, he took a seat and pointed Fëanáro the bench at the other side.
“I am not angry at you,” he said calmly. “You’ve come to me to learn and that includes learning the rules we have here. Now, I would like to hear from you why you didn’t follow the orders. Nerdanel said you ignored the task she gave you.”
"I took it for a jest, master," Fëanáro's eyes widened in surprise. "Surely you have people who keep your workshops clean?"
"Oh yes. My fellow smiths, my students and myself," Mahtan replied seriously. "The forge can be a dangerous place for someone unfamiliar with the threats it poses. Would you want some of your father's people to get hurt because they were unaware of the danger?"
"No, sir." Fëanáro swallowed the comment that they could be taught like every new student was.
“The forge is a place where you work,” Mahtan continued. “You will learn that each thing has its place and handing over the task of cleaning to someone unfamiliar would only create unnecessary mess. Consider regarding the whole forge as you would a desk with scrolls. When you keep your own notes in order, it is easier to continue your study, is it not?”
“It is,” Fëanáro agreed. He loathed when his siblings, especially Nolofinwe, tried to see what he was doing and ended up messing his papers.
“I’m glad you understand,” Mahtan smiled. He had a warm, pleasant smile, Fëanáro noticed. “When you are here under my tutelage, I expect you to do everything we all do, no exceptions.”
“Yes, sir.” Fëanáro knew that. Here, in Mahtan’s forges he was not a High Prince, but an apprentice. This was going to be interesting.
“Very well. Now let’s go back, it’s time to check whether the hearth is warm enough.”
***
This time the work was done earlier and Fëanáro found himself free before someone came to take him back home. Mahtan’s workshops were quite far from the palace and despite his pleas, his father had not let him go completely alone. He sat, waiting, and thought of the things he had seen being created, when he saw Nerdanel approaching. She had not talked to him at all during the day, so he wondered what brought her here.
He didn’t have to wait long to find out.
“Sorry I yelled at you.” Nerdanel stated. She climbed the pile of logs to sit next to him, a small package wrapped in cloth held close to her chest. “It was your first day and you didn’t know.”
“It wasn’t that obvious.” Fëanáro found it easier to admit than he would have thought. “And then my father came and...” He was cut off by Nerdanel’s giggling. “What?”
“You should have seen Ferinyo’s face! He almost dropped the bucket when he saw the king!” Still laughing, Nerdanel unfolded the cloth and revealed fresh cake with fruit and crumble. “Do you want some?”
Fëanáro found himself smiling too. “Sure!”
Eating delicious cake together and giggling, he realised he didn’t mind waiting a little longer.
The story can be found here too: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23794093
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New Places, Friendly Faces (Sanny) Pt 1
Author (As known on Various sites): Lady Lover- Rockfic, Luluthechoosingcrow - AO3, theladylovingcrow - Deviantart and Wattpad, @sammy_bluebells - Instagram, @imacrowcawcaw - main Tumblr, @theladylovingcrow - writing/art Tumblr, @insannywestan - Sanny shipping Tumblr
Fandom: Greta Van Fleet
Pairing: Sam Kiszka/Danny Wagner (Sanny), lil bit of Danny/Ronnie but he's quickly swept away with Sam
Length: about 2k
Warnings/Tags: Alternate Universe, Diner AU, No band AU, fluff, some angst, awkwardness, first dates, you know the ones where person A's date is failing and person B comes and sits with them, sorry i forgot what its called but that, hand holding, flirting, Sanny
Summary: Danny was nervous; he had been building up the courage for *weeks* to arrange a date, and now.... He wasn't quite sure what to think of the situation he found himself in. The night certainly wasn't going as he had expected it to - and his emotions had never ridden a roller coaster this fast. Hell, the beautiful angel holding his hand wasn't even the one he had arranged to meet 2 hours ago.
Author's Notes: I don't know what inspired me to do this but I'm very very happy with how it's turning out (and I've never written a longer-ish multi chapter story before, so this is interesting!) I would hate for Danny to not know the Kiszkas growing up, but hey I think I made their first meeting pretty damn cute!
Also, just FYI this is set roughly in late January of whatever year, so the twins are supposed to be 20, Ronnie is 18 I think, Danny just turned 18, and Sam is 17 (I think I did all the math right but idk) HOWEVER it wasn't until I finished that I realized I absolutely did not make their appearances congruent with what they would have looked like then.... Sam and Danny look like 2018 ish but the twins also look like their high school selves :( Idk sorry
Also, because Sam is 17, this will not be posted on Rockfic and will be marked as underage, though I'm not planning for it to get dirty
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Danny had been taping his foot for the past fifteen minutes.
He usually didn't do that, it wasn't his nervous tick of non-choice, but Michelle hadn't showed up yet, and it was nearing eight.
Checking his watch, Danny watched the hand tick to 7:58 and then looked up, peering around the restaurant he was in.
Diner, he corrected himself. It was a homey, 1960's American diner, a little more exposed timbers and bear carvings than checkered tiles and jukeboxes, but that's what you got in Michigan. The building was low and sturdy, a log structure with a river rock chimney over the grills in back. Every single wall was decorated with various signed pictures of celebrities that had passed through, local newspaper articles about Gerald and Fern's Homestyle Grill, old handsaws, vintage pop signs, and a million other trinkets and posters chosen by the owners (Gerald and Fern, he assumed, though they'd probably passed on considering how old the place looked to be).
It was a nice restaurant, Danny thought; the atmosphere was welcoming and calm despite the occasional clamor from the kitchen, and the decor was very interesting to look at. Plus, the waitress that had directed him to a window booth and brought him some water was just gorgeous.
'Don't think that! You're on a date, idiot' Danny scolded himself, shaking his head. Well, he was technically waiting for the date to start, seeing as she hadn't showed up yet. But, he still shouldn't be admiring another girl like that when his wasn't there - that would just make him an asshole.
But maybe Michelle was a little bit of an asshole because she said she'd meet him at 7 o'clock and it was now 8:06- 'Stop. It.' Danny scolded himself again, mentally smacking himself upside the head.
'Didn't your mother ever tell you to assume the best of people?' One voice asked.
'Of course!' Another Danny answered.
'Well, then, she probably got stuck in traffic, or her dog threw up in her car, or she hit a bad pothole, or her mom made her go to the store, or-'
'Okay, I get it! She probably doesn't mean to be so late,' Danny conceded, concluding the conversation he was having with himself. Maybe the waitress was right and he had been sitting there by himself for a little too long.
Of course, being the nice girl she was, the waitress - Ronnie her name was Ronnie - had stopped by periodically whenever she had a minute to chat with him or finally bring him some coffee after he had given in to the craving.
Danny looked down at the small bouquet wilting on the table and sighed. Looked like this date was a bust, just like the few others he'd attempted, and he'd actually been very excited to see her. In fact, it was Michelle who had suggested this Gerald's Grill when he had shyly asked her out in Biology.
He had finally made up his mind to just stop wasting Ronnie's time and go home when a group of boys came trouping in, wet from the snow but in exuberant spirits and, apparently, "In great need of some refreshment, Ronnie dear!"
That made him want to pack up and get out even faster because, honestly, he didn't need any more knowing looks or judgement right now, but the last boy to walk in made him freeze with his coat halfway on.
The kid looked about Danny's age, roughly the same height but a whole lot skinnier. He had on skin tight jeans, scuffed hiking boots, and a red woolen coat. When he turned to talk to Ronnie, Danny could see the Tom Petty hoodie beneath the jacket and some silver necklaces.
'Nice,' he thought, 'seems like a cool guy: good taste in music and fashion.'
Also, 'Fucking gorgeous'.
What made him pause his leaving, though, wasnt the guy's body but his face - his sculpted brows, insanely high cheekbones, pink lips, and long lashes; all framed by the healthiest looking head of hair Danny had ever seen, second only to his own, or possibly one of the guy's he had come in with (the one who yelled for Ronnie) that had rather impressive, long curls styled to look like 70's mutton chops. There was something naggingly familiar about his features, but Danny couldn't place it.
Ronnie rolled her eyes and pointed the group of boys to a large table in the Eastern corner of the diner.
She snagged some menus and followed behind them, though another guy, this one also with long hair (he was having some competition here) grown out Justin Beiber style (okay, maybe not) said; "We don't need those, Ronnie, I'm pretty sure Sammy here has the whole menu memorized by now. Right, Sam-a-lam-a?"
The intruiging boy nodded, starting to recite off what sounded like a very accurate, detailed account of the diner's menu, prices and everything. Danny was surprised at the slight raspy, smokers quality of his voice, but it was pleasant, in a way.
After the fourth item or so, Ronnie stopped "Sammy" with a swat to the shoulder, shaking her heading and muttering "stupid genius" under her breath. He grinned up at her, wiggling his eyebrows and asking for a round of Vernors, pretty please, Ronnie-kins.
Holy shit, they were siblings! That's what had been buzzing at the back of his head for the past couple minutes; those mouths and cheekbones, seductive eyes, that lovely hair. The guy was Ronnie's brother (and no wonder he was so beautiful then).
Squinting, Danny watched the party in the corner. Two of the other guys, 70's hair and Justin Beiber (though he felt bad calling him that since he seemed cool and, hey, he'd had the same 'do when trying to grow his out) were laughing at something Ronnie said, leaning on each other and behaving the exact same way, down to their blinks.
Twins! Danny could tell because he had two cousins, also twins, that acted exactly like that. Wait, though.... they looked awfully similar to-
More siblings?! Jesus, how many kids did this family have? He hoped the four were all, for the sake of their parents.
He guessed that the twins were a little older, so either "Sammy" or Ronnie had to be the youngest, though they all looked awfully similar in age.
'Seriously, how do their parents handle that?' Especially with the attractive, flirty twins, beautiful daughter, and the super smart supermodel - it had to be several handfuls raising a house like that. Danny suddenly felt a bit more sympathy for his parents, even with just having to deal with him and his little sister.
Ronnie sashayed away, calling over her shoulder for the boys to keep it down. They all hooted and hollered in response, seeing as Danny was the only other patron to bother at the moment.
Danny slowly sat back down, curious as to what interesting conversations he would hear from the group. The twin with curly hair was currently talking to a larger guy on the other side of the table about the "carefully curated sensuality" of Led Zeppelin's Prescence, which alone made him want to stay.
Not to mention, he could continue to observe the hot guy that was immediately fascinating him like few people did. Danny wasn't deluded enough to think it was love at first sight - though it was definitely a fair amount of lust - but there was something about the other boy that made him want to track his every move down to the blinking of his eyes.
"Woah there, creepy much? Chill out, he probably doesn't even like guys anyways," Danny muttered to himself, hoping that his staring wasn't obvious enough to make "Sammy" aware of it. He loved to people watch - and admire, but hated the uncomfortable confrontation of acknowledging that he had been doing so.
Supermodel boy twisted in his chair, looking at one of the many things on the wall - though it made Danny's breath catch because, could he tell? - when he caught Danny's eye. He smiled at Danny, making him smile a little tightly and nod in return.
At that moment, Ronnie came out of the back with a platter of glass pop bottles and a notebook tucked into her apron pocket, using her hip to close the swinging half-door to the area behind the counter. She smiled at Danny as he passed, murmuring a soft "I'll be right back with you," before continuing on to her brothers' table.
Gorgeous boy laughed - a surprisingly obnoxious, though maybe endearing, braying one - and reached out a fine boned hand, plucking a bottle from the tray before she could set it down. He took a long swallow, throat visibly working and eyes half closed, head tipped back. Danny quickly averted his own eyes unless he started drooling onto the tabletop.
Ronnie came over to him after a minute, refilling his coffee and insisting that she get him a piece of pie, on the house. He didn't have the heart to tell her no, not after more than an hour of sitting there pitifully, and especially not now that he knew her gorgeous brothers (or at least one of them, the prettiest, too) knew he was there. It would be incredibly embarrassing for them to know that he was stood up and alone; Danny wanted to give off a good impression, for some reason.
Ronnie walked away again, hips swaying, and disappeared into the back. "Sammy" laughed at the table in the corner and Danny's eyes shot to him, watching how he played with his straw between those two pillowy lips.
He started sweating a little bit, considering who he thought was more attractive (not like either of them would be interested in him, but). Ronnie was curvy and kind and beautiful, but Sam was lean and charismatic and had the most lovely facial structure Danny had ever seen.
'Ugh, bisexual problems', Danny thought. No one else would have know what he was talking about if they were there, though, since he had never mentioned it to his parents nor his few friends.
He wondered, idly - because he really was out of their league and it would never, ever happen - what his family would think if he brought either of them home. Ronnie would be sure to elicit absolute delight from his mother after her admonishment for getting a girlfriend in the first place (despite the fact that he was allowed to do what he wanted now that he was 18, Danny's mom still saw him as her little boy). Ronnie's brother, he wasn't sure; it's not like they were homophobic, but Danny was certain that him bringing home a guy out of nowhere would be quite the shock.
They'd warm up to Sam (he didn't want to call him "Sammy"; it felt too familiar to he polite, though he did like that), he was sure. His parents would be impressed by his intelligence and be charmed by his jokes, and tell Danny that they were glad he had found such a nice boyfriend.
Danny drifted off into a daydream of what it would be like to date Sam, to take him to family holiday meals and go out hiking with him and cuddle up on a late winter afternoon like this one. He rested his head on his hand, letting his eyes go unfocused as he envisioned the imaginary world in which he had an 11/10 boyfriend.
"Hey, I've got your pie. Mind if I sit and eat mine with you?"
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@satans-helper @okietrish @lazingonsunday @bigthighsandstupidguys @karrotkate @oblvions @lantern-inthenight @mountainofthefleet seriously PLEASE tell me if anyone else wants to be tagged in Sanny and I'll add it to my list because I guessed these peeps last time and got it right but I can't remember if there's anyone else
#fanfiction#fanfic#my writing#lulucrowproductions#greta van slash#greta van fic#gvf fic#slash#sanny#samxdanny#sam x danny#sam kiszka#sam gvf#danny wagner#danny gvf#fluff#humor#first date#au#alternate universe
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