#successfully avoided thinking about this holiday and her for the majority of the day

[fangirlwithasweettooth]

*

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 127

Annnnd a-one, and a-two, and a queue-queue-queue!

This chapter has one of my favorite things in the world to write - Interpersonal relationships (if you are surprised, I’m going to assume you are new here....).

Specifically, one of my biggest pet-peeves is when friends or siblings are written in a way that shows that the author doesn’t actually have any friends or siblings they are close enough to that all rules of societal politeness go whizzing into some far-off dimension as soon as they are in proximity.

When I get to write a chapter with such close friends/ersatz-siblings and also have @baelpenrose cackling and egging me on, it literally makes my whole day.

P.S: If anyone has wondered about the ages of the characters, several are clearly lined out in this chapter......

EDIT: Fixed some insane formatting issues.

“The food festival, Sophia? Really?” an incredulous voice asked before the door to my office even opened all the way.

I resisted the urge to scream, but did surrender to pinching the bridge of my nose and breathing slowly. “Hello, Arthur. Do come in. Long time no see.  Of course I’m not busy…” My one day each week to have a few hours to myself - no mentees, no assistant, even Tyche was off work….

“We saw each other last night when I came over for dinner after sparring with Conor, and  you’re never busy on Saturdays, Alistair makes sure of it.” He dragged a chair in front of my desk for what I felt was the sole purpose of putting his boots on my desk instead of the conference table.

“I thought you two didn’t even like each other, how did you - “

He waved a hand dismissively. “Enemy of my best friend’s enemy is my friend, that sort of thing. Anyway - “

“Did you just call me my own worst - “

“You are, let’s not pretend otherwise. Anyway.” Arthur arched an eyebrow at me and waited for any further objections, but I couldn’t think of any. “The Food Festival. It’s my one favorite tradition on this ship until armed combat becomes a spectator sport, and you are putting Parvati and Hannah in charge of it?”

After a beat pause to make sure he was done, I glared at him. “Everyone has asked me that, and I don’t understand the issue.  They’ve both helped in the past, even before they started training to replace me.  I’ve handed more and more off to them each time, and they did great! Plus, they have three months, it will be fi - Wait, why do you even care, Arthur?”

He held up one finger with the authority of a deity who would have smited me if he could. “One, Parvati Fletcher does not like mapo tofu. You do. Specifically, you like it from that one vendor who grows her own Sichuan peppercorns and uses them like they are an infinite resource. Two, I spend entirely too much time working with Zach Khan, and he won’t shut up about how stressed Hannah is. Three - “ I was seriously starting to get concerned he actually could smite me at this point - “As much as I love you in the most platonic way possible, you are an obsessive, compulsive perfectionist who insists on doing everything herself and running herself into the ground so that everyone else has the time of their lives. So why are you trusting this, the largest and oldest event on the Ark, entirely to other people?” Dropping his boots from the desk, he leaned forward, palms down until we were nearly nose to nose.

“Sophia Reid, I swear on any god I can kill if you are dying…”

“WHAT!?” I squawked, jerking back and standing so fast I knocked my chair over. “For the love of little fish, I’m not dying! I haven’t had a near death experience in four years, thank you.”

“Three, not counting the fact that there is a reason Alistair makes you drink anything through a straw anymore.”

“How did - Nevermind.” I shook my head and tried to focus on the topic at hand. “No, I’m not dying. Nor am I injured, having a midlife crisis, rethinking my life choices any more than I ever do, or so much as in possession of a stuffy nose.” Taking a deep breath, I rolled my eyes and started counting off before I could stop myself. “Conor and Maverick and I are fine. No, I’m not arguing with Tyche again. Yes, I’m still going to therapy. Else is fine. No new sentient plagues or rogue cult leaders that I’m aware of. Nor have I become immortal, queen of the universe, savior of humanity, pregnant by Noah, or possessed.” Carefully, I picked my chair back up and sat down.

“Good...to… know?” He gave me a funny look. “Who asked the most disturbing one?”

“Immortal or Savior of Humanity?” I asked for clarification. “Those were Maverick and Derek, respectively.”

The look only got worse. “I meant ‘pregnant by Noah’, but fascinating to see where your priorities lie….?”

“Oh. That was Charly.”

“Dammit,” he swore softly. “I had her pegged for ‘possessed’.”

“I’m pretty sure she is, but the suggestion that I am came from Tyche, on no fewer than 3 occasions, by 4 different entities. She seemed pretty hopeful that Else was potentially mind-controlling me in an effort to make me take a nap,” I admitted.

“That tracks.” A nod of approval prefaced the question I had been avoiding - successfully, thus far, I might add. “Now that you’ve ruled out every possible plausible reason that you would entrust this to literally anyone other than a clone of yourself, why?”

“Why what?” My face was composed in an expression of innocence so convincing that I probably deserved an Oscar.

“I can and will convince Charly to turn all your coffee to decaf, so help me, Sophia.”

Realizing that he was, legitimately, worried about me and at the limits of his usually-impressive patience, I held up my hands in surrender. “Fine. You get the scoop.  Please record this and send me the loop, so I can just flick it at people who ask, please?” When he nodded, I exhaled slowly.  “It is no secret to anyone that I never wanted this job. I made the mistake of establishing the Food Festival, which as you point out is the largest event of the cycle on the Ark - the last three years, literally everyone attended in some capacity.” When he opened his mouth to argue, I held up a hand to stop him. “Don’t get me wrong. I love the Festival. What basically started out as a potluck because we were homesick and needed to meet - you know, the rest of humanity - is a huge, three day holiday.  It’s amazing!” I spun in my chair, arms flung wide for emphasis, before stopping to face him. 

“It also consumes my life, for months, to prepare for.  And that’s just implementing changes to make it more accessible so people don’t miss out! That doesn’t include adding things to make it more interesting or keep it from getting boring, or whatever. I literally don’t have time to do any of that!”

“So, you’re inflicting this on them instead?”

“Inflicting?” I snorted.  “Hardly. This is their final exam, their capstone project, their dissertation.  If they pull this off, I will gladly hand the entire office over to whoever is elected, cheerfully and knowing the Ark is in good hands.  But, they have to pull this off.  It’s the only major part of being Councilor of Resources and Relations that they haven’t done yet by themselves.”

He rubbed his face, looking somewhat impressed. “That’s honestly not what I was expecting.”

“I don’t think it ever is, honestly.” I shrugged at the question he glanced towards me. “For Evan, it was coordinating the weapons exhibitions.  Charly managed to pre-empt her own by designing more efficient aqueducts and filtration for when we reach Von - you know, the ones that also produce light?”

“Of course she would invent glow-in-the-dark plumbing. Who else?” Something caught up with him. “Evania Josue got away with planning an event? Seriously?”

“Oh, that’s right… you weren’t on Level One…” I murmured. When he only looked more confused, I clarified. “She was Maverick’s co-pilot when we needed people to pilot the Ark, which was not designed to pilot manually, via dead reckoning, using cameras pointed out the few viewports we have, for several weeks after the sensors were sabotaged.”

“She was whose co-pilot?”

“You really never heard this story? You practically live with seven people who were there…”

“Usually I get the bits about ‘Sophia nearly got her brains bashed out’ and ‘that traitorous bitch’, then start tuning out while I try to decide what it would take to get Charly to teach me necromancy… If Evan was the co-pilot, then why is Maverick….”

“Not in line to replace any Councilors? Arthur, we know that would be a disaster for him.”

He nodded reluctantly. “Your younger partner is a nice boy.”

“For fuck’s sake, he’s thirty seven!” I groaned.

“Nice man, whatever,” he waved off. “Which is exactly what I would like for you as a partner. You need nice partners, and blunt siblings. But I see what you mean about him being a Councilor… he’d be miserable.”

“What was yours?” I asked mischievously, dropping my chin onto my hands.

That earned me a flat stare, until he finally surrendered when I didn’t flinch. “The Twentieth/Early Twenty First History curriculum.”

“Seriously?” That had literally been the first thing he had done when Eino tapped him as a possible successor.

“I didn’t budge on points even he admitted he would have, out of fear of offending people.”

“Which is a fear you very much lack,” I pointed out.

“The truth is the truth. Coating it in sugar only makes it taste worse.” He shrugged nonchalantly before suddenly looking dangerously like he was thinking again. “There’s two of them.”

“Yes, Arthur. Hanna and Paravati are, in fact, two distinct and separate women-type-lady-people.”

“Thank you, Fee, I was well aware.” I suppressed a growl at the nickname - he knew I hated it. “I meant, only one can win the election, smartass.”

“Better to be a smartass than a dumbass,” I muttered.

“Sophia, you are forty five. Please grow up just a hair?”

“Tyche doesn’t want to be HR forever, you know.”

That brought his mind to a visibly screeching halt. “Wait, what?”

“What what?” I asked. “She does it because she is phenomenal at it, but it isn’t her passion.  She only stuck around as long as she did to make sure I didn’t trip over a chair and brain myself while I was at work.  When I’m gone, she’s gone, loser take the spoils.”

He whistled softly before shaking his head. “It’s bizarre to think of you two retiring around the same time I’m just starting the position.”

“I’ll have been a Councilor for a decade when I step down,” I pointed out.  I almost included unless I die first, but that never seemed to be as funny as I thought it was.

“But you aren’t that much older than me,” he sighed dramatically. “Anti-aging technology is frustrating.”

“Annnnd this is a natural extension of your career, with a ten year break thereabouts the middle.”  My grin was so bright it made him scowl before I finally got a begrudging smile.  “Think of it as getting elected head of the school board.”

The groan he let out probably echoed for several levels throughout the ship. I had basically just pointed out that he was becoming that which he most hated.

Or not. He seemed to recover with a gleam in his eye. “Pfft. Dean of Students, at the very least.”

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[ayankun]

Got a lot done today, rewarding self with hsmtmts S1 (who am I kidding, this was going to happen regardless) just starting ep 3, thoughts that contain S2 spoilers below

It's not as awkwardly zany as I feared! I think its mockumentary style is certainly more stylized than it's become, but the jokes still land. Even though some of said jokes are based on their characters' archetypes rather than the people they're going to grow into. What can you do, it's only been an hour of runtime, everything's gonna be different by hour 10.

Gosh the kids are so young! But they're all doing so so so well. I've also now seen an hour or two of cast interviews, and the age differences of the actors is pretty wild. Like I think Frankie is one of the older ones, but for the first time I paid attention and found out Carlos is supposed to be a sophomore like Gina (but now it makes more sense that he's only just turning 16 lolololol)

I'm feeling really bad for Ricky, remembering that his home life troubles are specifically what are causing him to react and over-react and generally be a drama-maker on behalf of the plot. Like on one hand, it's such an interesting choice to have your leading man be the anti-hero of his own story, 'cause he hecks up ALL the time and is sometimes hard to root for, but taking a step back to observe that this is a fiction and everything is designed with intent, Ricky's character isn't really a hero or villain, he's a personification of a message, which is that sometimes you gotta dig deep and identify the root of your problems first before you can start applying beneficial solutions. And you might just keep hecking up until you get there. The stuff with his mom in 2x09 is sosososososo important and a long time coming, the character's going to have to be a different person going forward because he's finally been able to address some of his issues that have been festering since 1x01.

Semi-related, I'll always show up for a good redemption arc. Ricky, the hero, is going to need one! Nini might even get one (1000% I don't believe she needs one, keep self-actualizing, queen!), but anyway the S1 antagonist trio of EJ, Gina, and Mr. Mazzara is so fun/frustrating to watch, knowing that in S2 they're literally all going to become not just protagonists but also my favorite ones.

ALSO seeing evil!Gina and villainous!EJ interact keeps giving me chills. Those poor kids have NO IDEA what they're in for!!!!!

Similarly, Matt Cornett has grown on me a lot. Even first time through, I thought he was the weakest of the cast (lol he's the oldest, he's ridiculously old for that baby face) and just now in One Billion Sorrys I was like, isn't EJ supposed to be leading man material? Why is his performance so bad for comedy reasons? Oh... it's less comedy reasons and more Matt Cornett doing his best? Also why is he so white-washed this season! The makeup they've caked on him makes him look sickly. ANYWAY he's really come a long way, and especially with the stuff they've been giving him in S2, his scenes where EJ's successfully engaging with Gina as a human being are sosososo effective and I'm looking forward to getting back to that point.

Clocking some callbacks S2 has made to S1, like Kourtney talking to Nini about how she's avoiding talking to Ricky about something important and then Ricky comes up, or Nini needing to keep her phone out of the hands of her insecure clingy boyfriends so they don't jealously delete things. EDIT: just finished S1 and there was another major parallel I noticed but since noticing I have somehow forgotten :<<<<< OH COULD IT HAVE BEEN 1x08 is where Ricky and Nini rekindle things and 2x08 is where they call it quits????? (also Ricky getting earth-shattering home & family news on holidays and having to bottle it up b/c someone's on his doorstep and he has to perform Emotional Stability) (found another one, Miss Jenn's "Trust the process" vs Dean Patel's "Trust the outcome.") (Miss Jenn giving Nini a voice and YAC literally taking it away)

I guess also Ricky's mom problem and Nini's decision to put her dreams first were the inciting incidents for these two characters' arcs -- like, the narrative's inciting incident is "I think I kinda you know," and it plays out in the spaces where the Ricky/Nini romance storyline provides conflict for the success-of-the-show storyline, and vice versa, but the CHARACTERS' STORIES are about the mom thing and the dream thing, and are actually the root of all the interpersonal drama.

Not sure that I have a point, it's more of a comment of appreciation.

Another good thing about S2 is that it opens up to include more stories for the supporting cast, kinda like how HSM2 does and makes Ryan your favorite character. So even in retrospect, in S1 my faves are Gina and Mazzara and Seb & Carlos and Ashlyn, and Nini and Ricky are just Also There.

Different thought: my singular major complaint when I watched this the first time was that the show (accidentally? Due to unyielding adherence to the conventions of the genre?) uniformly conflates personal success with romantic success. As in, you know you've finally achieved your dream when you are handed a SO as a trophy. The sole SOLE exception to this in S1 is Kourtney, and look how that's played out in S2. :/ especially since one of my favorite favorite things was Start of Something New recast as Nini's romance-free self-actualization ballad, I really thought that was a premise that would make an appearance s o m e w h e r e in the show. SO IM SO HAPPY THAT'S FINALLY PAID OFF FOR NINI. LIKE IN 2x09 WHERE RICKY'S DROWNING IN HIS UNSHED TEARS AND THEN IT CUTS TO NINI SCROLLING COMMENTS IN HER INSTAGRAM HOLY SHIT. There's a read where she's the bitch or whatever for not being as broken up as Ricky is, but gurrrrrrl this has been her true character aim since day one!!! Her story is not! About! RICKY!!!!!

(I wanted my ace!Taylor HC to magically transfer into Kourtney, whose canon feminist self-affirming character core might prevent her from getting roped into a romance storyline. Like I don't want to begrudge a character a romance plot if that's what the character wants, but GOSH wouldn't it have been cool if this rom-com genre could find room to accommodate aspec stories. ALSO where my trans teens at!!! Fingers crossed, S3.)

In conclusion, I identify with Mazzara what with his autism and his robots and his AV club and his green gingham button-up that I also have; I love love love his look of consternation with himself when he sends that email. 10/10. But also, if we were in high school, I'd have been a grade ahead of his actor sooooo guess that means I'm just a crusty old grandpa

(Started writing this going into ep 3, now I'm headed into ep 6 lololol. HOMECOMING SEBLOS AND DONT WANT NO SCRUBS KOURTNEY CASTLES IN THE SKY MY BELOVEDS)

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

12. On Your Side

Decided to publish what I had worked on before my hiatus, mainly for Tina and nem, as a Xmas thing. Ion celebrate that shit, happy holidays or whatever. I was hoping to have completed the story by now, but with my break for mental health, I guess it's either pushed back or gonna be abandoned. Will know in a couple of weeks or so what, if anything I intend to do with it. Its an Apex centered chapter. I'm still on hiatus. You can leave a review if you want to, but don't message me about Simon or this story. Thanks.

*The Grace St. Catherine Playlist, featuring songs used in chapter and songs that inspired the chapter*

“Even through the darkest phase

Be it thick or thin

Always someone marches brave

Here beneath my skin…” Grace let the music play in the background as she tried to do all of the things suggested to her by her “spiritual advisor,” Sunny, whenever she moved into the place. She was doing more drawing - mostly sketches of carnage and rage. She was journaling a lot, mostly in the form of a narrative told by a hypothetical fictional character, because admitting to the things that she was doing on paper was a huge no-no, so she simply projected her life through her journaling character, The Saint, whom would never be referred to by name in any of the entries. In this particular one, The Saint was contemplating calling The Shadow. What would the conversation even be like? He would tell her how bad she was for being mad at him. She would tell him that she only hurt bad people, but he hurt a friend… he hurt her. That was different. So different. But she MISSED him.

She had began to sketch him. She was more of a doodler/drew cartoons and comics on her phone and stuff… but she was shut up in this place for hours at a time and hadn’t really used a pencil and a sketch book seriously in a while. Then, it got away from her. After a few days, she had almost filled up a sketch book with drawings of Simon. She winced when she thought of his name. She had been avoiding speaking it and thinking it. “And constant craving has always been…” She stared at the phone, then changed the track. The last thing she needed was to think about craving, of all things…

Now, that the phone was in her hand, she glanced around, feeling that paranoia that she had since she left home. Nobody was watching her here, but she felt obligated to check, anyway, and upon verifying what she already knew - that nobody was fucking watching her - she went to visit his social media. Private? Since when? She checked another. Same thing. A third, same fucking thing! “UGH!!!” She threw her phone onto the couch and went to go chop wood. She didn’t really like to chop wood, but it did make her feel better to swing a tool and see destruction come out of it.

“Old wounds

Old fights

Another day goes by

I'm not playing by the rules

They can't take me for no fool…” Her phone continued singing as she went outside.

.

Jalicia Barrett was not the same type of watch as Grace was. She obviously wasn’t as upscale as Grace, so she wound up having much to do that was necessary, unlike Grace’s schedule of playing a typical woman. Now, to say that Jalicia was typical would be a stretch of the imagination, as Simon knew that none of Grace’s people were that and she had possibly an unreasonable amount of tiger items, but she was closer to an average person than Grace was.

She went to Seattle University, but hadn't selected a major. She was still doing general studies after taking a few years to get her GED (She began trying at 16 and only successfully received it less than a year ago), so.. a freshman in college, which wasn't bad. She was 19. She worked on campus and seemed to have other odd jobs, like being a delivery driver or personal cab, and stuff at that Infinity Foundation place.

She didn’t have rich parents. From what Simon was able to find, she was never reunited with them, whoever they were. If they had lived in Seattle when she was taken, there was nothing on file to indicate that she was reported missing. Of course… he didn’t know what her real name was. The name Jalicia Barrett only became a name for her in the year after Grace left the mental institution. He knew that was likely connected.

Maybe… she wound up in the system after Grace touched base with them? At any rate… whoever the girl who was brought into trafficking had been, she was now Jalicia Barrett, a girl who began existing when she was 13 or 14 and obviously probably didn’t know her DOB either, as it was on record as the day that her name was given, her documents were created all around the same time, so she had to either have been a baby whenever she was taken, or simply never knew her personal information like birth date and full name.

BUT, she did have prints on file, so she probably had birth records that could be matched to them somewhere. He didn’t know if he wanted to get into that… or if she hadn’t done so herself and simply decided that life was easier being the person that she knew herself to be now. He certainly couldn’t imagine separating from his loved ones and then not finding them for a decade or so and then just… trying to pretend that they were family after all or something. She had the family she wanted… Well… she lost one. He felt bad for her. It wasn’t the same, but whenever he lost Grace, he felt like his world collapsed. To even pretend to understand how this woman must feel losing her life partner after years of being together, he wouldn’t insult her like that. Instead, he looked into the details surrounding that. Whatever happened to that investigation?

He’d provided an alibi for them and the police never spoke with him again. He’d done his best playing ignorant and pretending that everything was casual. Whenever they asked him about Heath, he said that he didn’t know Heath. “I’ve only met him once and he didn’t show up to the gathering… Is he alright?” They didn’t answer, just wished him a good day.

Now, he was looking through their paperwork and he was sure that he might find something interesting, if not useful. Simon had no idea what he was looking for with these other people. Something that led him back to Grace’s trail, and he had to figure out how they worked to even presume that…

Here’s the thing… Simon wasn’t going to write himself off as wrong or going too far. For crying out loud, the things that these people did, and they felt justified in their reasonings, so he wasn’t going to allow himself to feel bad. Grace might need him, and Xander was keeping her away from him. He cursed himself over that gun, though. However, IF she would have just let him explain that he only had it to keep Xander from getting it! He didn’t know what to think when he holstered it, but it wasn’t for her! Why would he hurt her? He scanned through paperwork, trying to take his mind off of Grace’s lack of faith in him and then, he was sure that he found what he needed. If not; he’d found something interesting. “Huh.”

.

Grace called Sunny for more tips. She was doing everything that she told her to, and reading all these books and articles, ordering all sorts of holistic woo woo shit, and trying SO HARD just to not lose it out there… Sunny was always a mood lifter for her though. They would talk for however long, laugh, joke, sometimes get entirely too serious and cry… they hadn’t done this in a long time, but Grace had been calling her more frequently lately and, well… it was necessary for her to be available.

“It’s like… I don’t want to use this word lightly, and I especially can’t tell Xan, but I feel like I’m like… addicted… Does that sound stupid?”

“Xander doesn’t own the word addicted, Grace. He’s struggled with a few drugs over the years, but one of the reasons is because he’s sick. Some people can try things and never really become addicted to them because those things didn’t appeal to them in that way. This dude appealed to you in a way that your body wasn’t used to. He got into your mind, and most likely changed the chemical balance. Affected your hormones and shit, only to find that he wasn’t what you thought and now your chemicals gotta try to balance back out without his influence, so no, it doesn’t sound stupid. Perhaps melodramatic, but I don’t know. You could be addicted to the way that he made you feel. Going through dick withdrawals is a struggle that people don’t give enough credence, too.”

Grace snorted. “I’m… not… going through that. We weren’t like that. I don’t even know if he ever was into me that way? It was like… I don’t know… I never got the feeling that he desired me physically.”

“What feeling did you get?”

“For the most part, that he wanted me around. I don’t know why. He never seemed to be asking anything of me but to let him be near me. He was very good about not entering my personal space, and even when I got comfortable, he still never made any move on me or anything like that. He just seemed to like to be… present.”

“Okay, but what would he be doing when he was present?”

“Sometimes nothing, really. Just looking at me, or listening to me. Sometimes, we were doing our own thing - me reading a book. Him playing video games or writing, or… Idk, working on a cosplay outfit.”

“Girl, on what?”

“He’s a fantasy fanboy before he’s a fantasy writer, so he you know… makes cosplay costumes and stuff for conventions. Whenever he’s not scheduled to be on a panel at one… This is something that I’ve observed, not something that he’s said. He… doesn’t talk about himself a lot. Not at all, come to think about it.”

“Xander makes him out to be a literal serial killer.”

“Xander hates him. What about 808? What does she say? Xan seems to think that he “got to her” or played some kind of mind games or something?”

“Well… she didn’t say anything to me about him, except that he was very talkative and apparently worships you. She was pretty thrown off guard at how comfortable he seemed with being caught and held hostage. She said that he is either the most nonchalant person ever or the craziest fucking person that she’s ever drawn a weapon on, because he acted like they were buddies just chitchatting, and we all know that he knows what we do to people.” Grace didn’t reply. Sunny offered, “Well, whenever I think about the shit that I went through with Xander and how we always seem to find each other in the dark, it's usually in terms of No Angel.”

Grace said, “Beyonce’s No Angel?”

“”Is… Is there another one? Because, if there’s anything AND a Beyonce song, just go ahead and assume that I am only speaking of the Beyonce option.” Grace laughed. Sunny recited, “ I love you even more than who I thought you were before.” Grace held her breath, unsure of what to say to this. Sunny continued, “All I mean to say is that sometimes people aren’t who we initially thought. Sometimes they’re worse. Sometimes they are seriously fucked up. Sometimes, they’re absolute trash… But… you might still love their ass.”

“Damn, Sis… Is this how you feel about Xan? Because those are some hard descriptions.”

“No. Xander is definitely a hot mess, but I was absolutely describing your… thing… over there. Jimony?”

“Simon,” Grace said, trying not to laugh.

“Right. I knew it had “mon” in it.”

.

Jalicia didn’t know what it was about that station that made her put it on all of the time, but her streaming service generally stayed on an old r&b from the 60s and 70s station, and sometimes 80s and 90s, whenever she was at work. She had a journal with a tiger on the front that she was writing down poetry in, but she could never think of titles for any of her work, and she didn’t feel like she was that artistically creative, so she’d title everything, “(Song Title) Plays in the Background,” whether or not the song had any bearing on the poem. Today’s? Let’s Groove Plays in the Background.

Work was a little bit overwhelming, these days, but only because of the things that had nothing to do with it. The fact that she wouldn’t just receive flowers sometimes and have her coworkers wonder why her boyfriend was this thoughtful, but they never saw him. Or the days where she would pout about being broke and having to pack a stupid sandwich and he would insist on having something sent to her at lunchtime, if he didn’t just make her a different, more fulfilling lunch instead. The way that she would get a text whenever he went on his own lunch break, and it would just be some hilarious video or a new thing that they just HAD to buy. Work was overwhelming, because what she had leaned on every shift was the fact that he’d interrupt it with something nice and that she would leave there and get to see him every day.

Now, she was listening to Earth Wind & Fire, in a gray pantsuit and fooling around on her computer while she waited for something to do. She heard the tone of the doorway and she got up to see if somebody needed help. It was a college bookstore and she was often far overdressed, but all she had aside from her typical attire were the pantsuits she wore when she had to do something other than be casual - like functions and interviews or whatever, so that was what she wore to work.

The O. He looked at her like they were friends or something. A polite smile and warmth in his eyes. She stared him down and reached for her phone. “Hi. Can I just have a moment?” He asked. She texted: The O is here and hit “send” to 747. “It won’t take long, I just wanted to give you something.” The O reached into his bag and Jalicia had already identified four common objects in her immediate surroundings that she would definitely use as a weapon against him if he tried something slick. He handed her an envelope, one of the big yellow ones and she frowned.

“I’m not taking whatever that is. For all I know it’s got anthrax in it.”

He laughed and opened it himself, pulled out the paperwork and handed it to her. “I figured out a better method of tracking people down than Heath had the resources for. I know that Xander is trying his hardest, God help him, but he’s not much on a computer and some of these things are hard to find.” She took the pages and glanced through them. Simon helped her find a certain page, “I’ve guessed that you maybe didn’t know much about this part of the situation that you all walked into. The… X, I suppose you’d call him, was very paranoid that he might be on your list and he hired protection.” He pointed out a few key lines that he had highlighted. “Professional protection, and yet when the time came to protect him, Heath wasn’t shot in the arm, or hell, if they didn’t want him to escape, the leg is an option as well.”

“They killed Heath on purpose,” She said, the wind knocked out of her as she did. She tried to take a seat, but just fell back onto a table and leaned against it, knocking down several books.

“They wanted to send a message and since you all slacked up since then, I’m sure that they think that they did.” She started crying angrily and wiped her face. “Flip to the next page.” Her hands were shaking and she wasn’t sure of what she might see, but she flipped to the next page anyway. “That’s your shooter. Since he was on the job, he confessed to being the one who fired and because Heath was breaking an entering and had no family to intercede for an investigation… the cops seem to be fine with what happened to him, despite the fact that our laws state that a person may not use more force than is necessary given the situation.” She shut her eyes and squeezed out tears, her fists tightly holding onto the phot0 of the man. “Next page are his personal details. Do with it whatever you think is best. I just thought that you would want to know.”

She shivered and cried, “This doesn’t mean that I owe you anything. I didn’t ask you for this and I don’t feel indebted to you for it.”

“Jalicia… I’m on your side. Whatever side Grace is on, that’s where I am. I did this because I want to help.”

“Well… This is the most help you’re getting from me - Xander’s on his way.”

“Then, I’ll be on my way.” He had that polite smile again and she was almost terrified how easily it came to him. He left quite a few minutes before Xander arrived.

She instantly fell apart as soon as she saw him, handing him the papers and explaining to him what he was looking at. She left work and was going to call Grace, but Xander snatched her phone while he was driving. “No, what if he. like, cloned your phone or something?”

“What? This ain’t Person of Interest, Boy. What the fuck are you talking about, Bro? He’s rich but it’s not like he’s Lex Luthor.”

“We can’t chance it. He’d do anything to find out where she is.”

“Give me yours, then.”

“Just hold off. I need to check this dude out. For all we know, Simon is just blowing smoke up our asses to get us to lead him to Grace.”

“The fact that you think it’s more likely that he falsified a bunch of police documents than that he simply sneaked them away is making me wonder about you .”

“I let him get too close to her before, and I’m not doing that again.”

Jalicia snatched her phone back from him and they wrestled for it but, he eventually heard Grace on speaker.

“What is happening on that end?” She asked, laughing a little bit nervously.

“We need to talk about Simon,” Jalicia said.

“I disagree with that sentiment!” Xander said in the background.

There was a pause. Grace was panicking a little bit. Did they know that she was trying to check his pages? That she was trying to see if she could make a temporary account just to try to get to them? How would they know that, Girl?

Jalicia added, “It’s about Heath.” Xander turned red in the face and he shook his head and tried to breathe. “Oh, fuck you, Xan. You left him there to die. The least you could do is chill out while I speak to Grace about this.”

“Whoa… That’s not extremely fair. The Apex protocol is that if somebody is hit, we leave and regroup. We go in with the expectation that if we’re hit, we would slow everyone down and jeopardize everything. So, Xander and I both left him,” Grace said the last statement laced with sadness and guilt.

“He pulled you out and sped away,” Jalicia said.

Xander scoffed and then burst into tears, “I’m glad that you’re telling us how you really feel.” His voice was surprisingly calm, but the ladies knew that hurt him more than anything ever had in this world.

“Tell me what you need to say,” Grace said.

“Simon found Heath’s killer.”

“Simon found a person he alleges is Heath’s killer.”

“He had all of the paperwork to corroborate it. More than Heath has ever collected on any X.”

“He had paperwork on a man who works in security who may have shot Heath dead, but as far as we know is not a bad person. He probably was just on a security job. Somebody broke into the house he was guarding and he shot!”

“WHY DID HE SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD???” Jalicia squealed. “I’ve been over this myself, before Simon EVER said anything about it, but WHY didn’t they shoot him to survive and answer questions about what is one of the most infamous string of serial murders to ever hit the city? Why would he risk his job to kill someone that way in security, if there wasn’t a reason that Heath needed to be dead?”

“You… you think that the security dude is old Apex?”

“I think that at best, the security dude wanted to kill a person that he didn’t HAVE to kill and he used Heath as a perfect excuse, making him a shitty person, in my opinion, and at worst, he didn’t want us saying anything to anybody, because he knew why we were there!”

“But, we did release what we had on the X. The information is out there now. Nothing was done about it,” Grace added.

“Precisely! Just as nothing was done about this trigger happy buttfuck, even though our laws state that you’re not supposed to kill motherfuckers if you don’t have to!” Jalicia said. She looked at Xander, poked him in the arm and reminded him, “You were the first one to claim you’ll avenge him”

“And you told me to go fuck myself.”

“Emotions were definitely running high, but if you’re looking for the chance to make good on your word, you’ll have to suck it up and just live with the fact that Simon gave us this, like I have to live with the fact that Heath is never fucking coming home!” She got louder than she intended. Xander wiped his tears with the back of his hand, but more just poured out. He nodded, but he was still extremely upset.

“Send me what Simon sent you. I’ll let you know what I decide from there.”

“Thank you, Grace.”

Grace sighed, paused, then said, “Heath would have wanted us to get out, but even if you had driven away and left us all, we wouldn’t have faulted you… That’s the protocol. Heath knew that…”

“Does that make it easier for you?”

“No. But, we shouldn’t make it harder on each other, either…” Jalicia sighed, rolled her eyes and let more tears fall. “I’m sorry, Jalicia. Heath was the first person in the warehouse that I ever cared about. I would trade myself for him, if I could.”

“He’d never let you,” she hung up and reached out for Xander. He accepted her hand. “I was mean to you…”

“You were honest. It just fucking hurts. Heath was the backbone of this family, and everyday he isn’t here, I lose more and more respect and control. He kept me grounded.”

“Doesn’t Sunny do that too?”

“That’s not the same thing.”

“Maybe you don’t let it be. Maybe the reason Heath was your rock was because you thought that you only needed one. That’s what I did, too. I didn’t even realize how much of my life revolved around him until I was just spinning in space, with nothing to pull me back. Why do you think I moved in with your ass?”

“To split rent.”

She gave a resigned shrug, but shook her head, “I thought that it would make things better, if even just to put me in a spot where I could just not think about it and not be alone. I figured I wouldn’t get over it, but that at least I would logically be able to grant myself some peace because you’re there too, and that there would be some type of comfort. Not emotionally. That’s gonna take more time than I even believe that I have left in this world. But… at least I wanted that solid ground to stand on, to be able to say, Heath would want his two favorite people to lean on each other and find some strength in his absence.” Xander sniffled. She finished, “But it didn’t matter, and I don’t even know what to do, because I thought that being around you would guarantee some balance, even if it didn’t truly help… I still have all of my grief, and I’m..” she whimpered, “So tired. And empty. And distant. My closest living friend is sitting right next to me, and I have been so alone…”

Xander pulled the van over, unlatched his seatbelt and hugged her. She wasn’t done. She was so focused on her train of thought that she hadn’t even actually noticed that Xander was hugging her. “Heath was always in my life. Before any other human that I can remember. Like, logically, I know that Grace took care of Todd and Heath took care of me… but… I don’t even remember anybody else until maybe I was 5 or 6. I know he wasn’t the only person around, but in my mind, he was. I have NO frame of reference that doesn’t involve him. He was…” She finally realized both that Xander was already holding her and that she was crying again.

She remembered something. She was 4 or 5, her brain was never good at that part. She wasn’t in school or anything. All of her special days were simply moments and occurrences. This particular occurrence. A boy with light hair, getting hurt really bad by the stewards. Heath covered her eyes and started talking about flowers. He found a new book about them. He’d help her try to read later. The noise of the boy being beaten up was in the background, but at the time, she was too young to pay any attention to it and listen to Heath. So, she listened to Heath and the beating was background noise filtered out. Afterwards, he took her to the side of the building and let her pick flowers for their new friend. The new boy was mean. He was mean to Heath and Grace had to help Heath. Then, he was nice. She looked at Xander’s face and saw that same boy, just as hurt and just as angry as the first day she recalled a memory of him.

“He wasn’t always in mine… but he was the first person who was ever just nice to me for no reason other than to be nice,” Xander said. “There’s nothing that I want more than to punish a person who would take him away from us, but to have Simon, SIMON, give us that…” He was red in the face and shaking his head. “He’s using it to get to Grace, and I just didn’t want to give him that kind of power.”

“Then why didn’t you just say, ‘Hey, lets not tell her where we got the information?’ If you had just sent it to her with X confirmed, instead of fighting me in traffic…”

“You didn’t give me a chance!”

“I just… This ONE thing, then maybe I can move on.” He nodded and buckled back in. “I’ll get to work on the logistics. In case Grace gives us the go ahead, I want to be ready to move as soon as possible.”

.

Simon pulled his hair up into a high ponytail. He was going to try to get it into a bun, but it had been getting longer and thicker, and while he’d normally just pull the top part into a pony and let the rest hang, but it was windy and he was going to be pretty active, so high ponytail, it was. He had been checking out the X that he gave Jalicia, to see if they were going to make a move on him. He wasn’t positive of the typical turnaround time on an X, so he simply went to watch every night. He wasn’t going to do the car. Dude was in security. He’d probably make him.

Instead, he parked around the block and went to a big tree across the street from the X’s home to post up. He had binoculars and an awkwardly applied hunting tree seat. It wasn’t made for him to be up this high, but he situated it only to have a seat that wasn’t tree bark. He spent the time that he wasn’t watching the house on social media, checking out Sunetra’s pages… which… apparently she went by “Sunny…” which… Simon noted to himself that he had seen a little sun tattoo on Xander, and whenever he came across Sunny’s very tasteful artistic nudes, he saw that she had a little tattoo, as well, on her chest, of an “X.”

Her photos were really nice and she seemed to… possibly be a stripper? He checked a few of her posts and captions. She hashtagged #burlesque in some of them, so maybe not a stripper, but something risque. She was in the fine arts program in college, for dance and had many posts from the Infinity Foundation of her doing dance workshops, yoga, and stuff. She had a lot of witchy posts, too. Simon rolled his eyes, but kept scrolling. Several of her posts were really funny. He noticed a yoga and meditation program that she would be doing at a community center and saved the post.

He watched the X for about a week and a half when he saw the van pull up. In the dark, he couldn’t tell who people were, but two had gotten out and through the binoculars, he could tell that Xander was one and the other was Jalicia. He checked the van. That was an unfamiliar one behind the wheel, but he presumed that it was Sunny or 808, and that he simply couldn’t see them... There was a loud noise and screaming in the house. He turned to see that Jalicia had a knife to a woman’s throat while Xander was escorting the X out, with his hands up. He got him to the van, injected something into his neck and tossed him in. Jalicia unhanded the woman, but appeared to take a bag along with her and the woman ran next door.

Jalicia had taken all the phones with her. The woman had to run next door to call the police. Simon realized that she was probably doing that, and he got out of the tree to get back to his car. If he hurried, he might be able to catch the van!

He went the direction that they had, and when he came to what he thought might be them, he put on a mask of his own, but it was a medical mask, just because that was… possibly not as weird as if he wore like a clown mask or something. They had NOT handled that in the way that he expected. Something told him that they either were rushing or desperate. He wondered why.

But, whenever they pulled the van into an old train station, he parked behind the building and got out of his car. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up.  

He could hear their voices, and he followed the sound of them, but didn’t come from the shadows of the building. They were dragging the bag into a field that Simon knew that he had passed several times in his life, but never paid much attention to. Nobody really did. Was this where they buried them? He wondered. He only saw Jalicia and Xander, pulling the body bag with one hand and carrying shovels in their free hands. Where was the driver? He went around the other side of the building and the van was pulling off. Where were THEY going? He couldn’t start his car. Jalicia and Xander weren’t far enough away to not hear him. He groaned and went to look back towards the field. He couldn’t see anything beyond the tall grass, but he used his phone to try to record where they were… maybe he could find it in the daytime. Besides, they were now far enough away that he could start his car without alerting him. He felt like he had enough.

Simon drove home, wary of a van behind him for a portion of the way. He took some loops and turnarounds that he wouldn’t usually take before he was comfortable that they weren’t following him and it wasn’t the van… but after he got home, he noticed at the bottom of the hill a van, and it looked like the van that they used. It looked like the van that he was nervous might be following him. But. There was no way that the van had found him after those turns. Was it one of them, just letting him know that they knew he had followed them?

He rushed inside and looked out of the curtains. They were there for a moment. They turned the van off and he took a deep gulp and reached for one of his guns. They got out of the van and stood, staring up at the house. DEFINITELY APEX. This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.

They stared, wearing a gold mask, a tam hat, and the all black outfit that he had gotten used to, but then not seen for a while. “Grace!” He said. He put his gun down and rushed out of his door. “Grace?” He called, but she rushed back into the van, tossed something out, and peeled off. “Grace…” He ran down the hill and out to the road. She was gone… He looked down to see what she had thrown down on her way off. It was a Stop sign with a red squiggly line underneath the word “Stop.” He picked it up, roared and began to smash it against the pavement, before flinging it into the middle of the road and going back into his house. He called Jalicia and she looked at her phone, not recognizing the number, so she answered it. “Hello?”

“Was that Grace?” a voice asked.

“What?”

“The person who just followed me home and told me to stop. Was that Grace?”

“No,” was all that she said. He hung up. She put her phone away.

“Who’s that?” Xander wondered.

“Non issue,” she said. It wasn’t a complete lie, and there was no way that she was about to ruin their night with… whatever that had been about. She and Xander were still digging when their third came walking up, her gold mask on her face and a shovel in hand. “Girl, where did you rush off to?”

“I knew he was gonna still be alive,” she said and pulled up the mask onto her head. Sunny. “Had to make a stop,” she said with a shrug. She and Jalicia stared at each other a moment, and Xander kept digging, oblivious to the exchange of them questioning each other with their eyes. It was short lived, because Grace was connecting for the video call. “Hey, Girl, Hey!” Sunny cheered.

“Bitch, I’m so mad that I’m not there right now.”

“Be mad at Jimona,” Sunny said.

“Simon!” Grace said, laughing. Then, more solemnly, said, “Draw a squiggle right across his face, for me.”

“Sure will,” Sunny said, pulling her knife out. “What are you listening to, Woman?”

Grace checked the info on her streaming, “Hurts by Emeli Sande.”

“That’s dope. Send me the link to that.”

.

Simon was at the apartment now, crying and sitting in front of the cameras. He wondered if she would return with them, but looking at the feeds he had placed to check the outside of their homes, he noted that the three entered Xander and Jalicia’s home at 3:47 am… and that… wasn’t Grace. It was the woman that he had initially identified as, “One who looks like Grace.” It was Sunny… He flared his nostrils and set an alert to remind him about the yoga and meditation at the community center.

His phone began to ring while it was in his hands. It was a private number. For a moment, he let his heart accelerate. “Hello?” He answered.

Silence. He sighed and almost hung up, but… he felt something. His tears stopped, he sat up erect and waited. She was silent, still. He was afraid to break it, but more afraid of her losing whatever nerve she had at the moment and hanging up. So, he dared to speak. He kept his voice soft and low. Gentle, like he knew she would remember him being. “Hey…” He said. He heard her sniffle and it tore at his heart. “Hey,” he managed to say even softer. “Are you okay?” She sniffled again. “Tell me what I can do to make you okay?”

“Why did you do that, Simon? Why did you?”

“I wanted to be close to you. I wanted to know you. I wanted you… I didn’t know what to do. I was desperate. I am desperate. Please, tell me where you are…”

“You let Xander catch you.” There was the longest pause since the conversation started. Eventually, she spoke again. “I feel like the kids walked in on me doing something dirty…”

“I feel like it’s none of ‘the kids’ damn business what we do.”

“They can’t see stuff like that. They can’t see me being followed and watched, obsessively. They can’t just move on from that. You have no idea the kind of people who… Why did you have a gun?”

“Because, I had just been attacked by somebody that I know is a murderer and I was on edge…” They were quiet again. “I can keep them out of sight from now on. I can keep them away from you, at all times…”

“If I come back into town, my crew is gonna get… difficult. It won’t be safe for you.”

“I can’t prove myself to them? To you? Did you see what I found for them? For Heath? For Jalicia?... For you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, Jalicia told me right away…”

“You sound like you’re smiling,” he observed, daring to smile, himself.

“I can’t help it… but… we can’t… do this, Simon.”

“Don’t…”

“We’re both in really weird places and us coming together isn’t good… for either of us, I think…”

“Please…”

“We shouldn’t be together, see each other, anything. You should… get on with your life.”

“No!”

“Bye, Simon.”

“NO!!” She hung up. He bit into his lip so hard that he drew blood, trying to keep his composure. He couldn’t even go to the gun range right now! But.. He could… go back to that field. He knew where it was. He knew where the bodies were now… he… was running out of patience, but he reminded himself that it wasn’t her fault. The longer they kept her away from him, the more confused she would be. She just needed to understand that he was on her side. If she couldn’t… she would have to learn that there were consequences for going against him.

13. A Shot in the Dark Pt 1

[bopinion]

2021 / 01

Aperçu of the Week:

I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse (Marlon Brando as Don Vito Corleone in Francis Ford Coppolas "The Godfather").

We just watched the trilogy these last days - what a classic!

Bad News of the Week:

What appeasement we haven't heard in the four years of the Trump era. The office is stronger than the person, checks and balances work, the world's oldest democracy survives anything, Trump is just an episode in the long history of the GOP, blah blah blah....

When Biden successfully crossed the finish line, all political observers hoped the nightmare was over. But no, the most unworthy president ever manages the impossible: he outdoes himself as the gravedigger of US democracy. In the last meters of his reign, he is not a lame duck, but a parasite running amok, leaving a trail of devastation in his wake.

I had mentally braced myself for an exhausting week: the runoff election for the Senate majority in Georgia and the intervention announced by several Republicans against the official reading of the election results. Reality easily eclipsed my expectations. Yes, the storming of the Bastille in Washington DC must shake every staunch Democrat to the core. Yes, co-initiator Trump's moderation of the incident shows his moral bankruptcy in a heightened form that many did not think possible. Yes, Mitch McConnell is the "Dr. Frankenstein who created a monster" (Der Spiegel, leading German news magazine). Yes, the incident fits a Banana Republic. Yes, closing Trump's Twitter account will help pacify society. No, it doesn't end there.

Three examples that make us fear the spook won't be over after January 20. One: 45% of Republican voters support storming the Capitol (YouGov) - that adds up, in purely mathematical terms, to nearly 34 million U.S. citizens willingly kicking their own democracy to the curb. Two: Many Republicans like Ted Cruz apparently remain faithful to their absurd cult until (political) death. Three: The double standard in police response compared to the peaceful Black lives matter demonstrations last summer shows that systemic racism is not abating even in the wake of the 2020 lows. Way to go, America!

Good News of the Week:

The lockdown continues and is being tightened in places. Unlike in the spring, the temptation to relax on the basis of falling figures has been resisted. A yoyo effect, which has already occurred so often internationally, could thus be avoided this time. Likewise, there is a prompt and concrete reaction to a current grievance: the exuberant amount of excursionists and day-trippers on the holidays is to be thanked for an exit restriction of 15 km in hot spots - i.e., where the 7-day incidence is higher than 200 positively tested persons per 100,000 inhabitants. Although I would have been satisfied with 100 cases, as originally wanted by Chancellor Angela Merkel. This is a perfect illustration of how the unreasonableness of a few puts the well-being of all at risk. Thanks for that! Sarcastically to all those duds out there who still don't get it. And seriously to the political decision makers who act with a sense of proportion.

Sidenote: In the house of my parents in the middle of Munich also lives a neighbor who is - to put it mildly - a Corona doubter. Or more directly: a dumb conspiracy theorist. The other day he asked my mother, who of course was wearing a mask, if she was afraid of freezing on her nose. Or puts out CDs with "facts" at the bulletin board of the house, which prove that Bill Gates is reaching for world domination with Corona. My daughter has now heard this from her grandparents, who are over 80 and have lung disease, so within the highest risk populations - and is pissed off. She has now written an open letter from a "teenager with a brain" confronting him about his dangerous idiocy. And which my father is going to post on the bulletin board. I don't think it will last long there. So, to be on the safe side, I will print it out several times. You go, girl!

Personal happy Moment of the Week:

Flor from Honduras and Martin from Austria are among my oldest friends from our Canadian days over 33 years ago. Now they are married and live in Vienna with the same lockdown restrictions as we have in Bavaria. At Christmas they surprised us with a package that had premixes for drinks in it. Yesterday evening we met on FaceTime for a virtual cocktail hour, drank "Cake Cake Baby" and "Crazy for Mary", made plans for the "time after Corona" and enjoyed our company even with 350 km distance. Thank you dear ones for the beautiful evening!

As I write this...

...I am listening to piano sonatas by Franz Schubert.

[jchb32273]

30 Day Dragon Age OC Challenge - Day 19 and 20

Courtship and Conclusion

(Yes, still behind! Swear I’ll catch up!)

This segment will contain MAJOR SPOILERS for my fic!! You have been warned! 

Doesn’t mean I don’t want y’all to not read it... but... you know... 

*As a side note, I am combining Day 19 and 20 into one post here, because after I re-read it, I realized I covered more than Day 19 had asked for originally! Oops... but at least it’s a good oops. ^_^ 

I think I can honestly say that I fell for Alistair from the very first smile that he gave me when we first met at Ostagar. Here I was a newly Harrowed mage, outside the Tower, and in the real world for the first time. Then I meet this goofy man (with a great smile) who says to me, “You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together.”

Next thing I know, we were fighting for our lives at the Tower of Ishal, while a battle between a thousand troops and probably twice as many darkspawn was raging in the valley below.

We had no idea that the end result would be the death of everyone… except for us.

Suddenly, the two of us were on the run, not only to avoid the blame that Loghain put on us – saying that we were responsible for the massacre at Ostagar – but also to try and recruit our new “army” to help battle the Blight!

Who had time for romance?

And yet… we found it.

Two lost souls. Two Grey Wardens.

The last Grey Wardens in Ferelden.

Love?

No. Not at first. But the spark had definitely been ignited.

Alistair gave me a rose shortly after we had saved Lothering.

We shared a tentative kiss by the shores of Lake Calenhad before saving The Circle.

By the time we reached Redcliffe, it was clear that we were falling for each other – even after Alistair revealed that he was the bastard son of King Maric.

We saved the town from a plague of undead that was being summoned by Arl Eamon’s demonic-possessed son, Connor. Then we freed him from the possession by getting help from the Circle. Alistair and I then traveled all the way to Denerim to find Brother Genetivi. He had been looking into the whereabouts of The Urn of Sacred Ashes, which the arlessa believed could cure her poisoned husband.  

It was a lengthy journey to Haven (which Alistair did not take with me) but I successfully returned with a pinch of Andraste’s Ashes.

Arl Eamon was saved, much to everyone’s relief.

That night, Alistair came to my room. We took that final leap in our relationship.

Maker, the things he made me feel that night.

Perhaps we should have been more careful, but you can’t control love… and since Alistair didn’t seem to care… why should I?

The following months were some of the sweetest I had ever savored. Our torturous weeks in the Deep Roads only ended up strengthening the bond we felt with each other.

But no relationship is perfect. Dealing with the aftermath of Ostagar caused some stress between us, and once we had returned from our journey there, a fight caused us to separate.

Those were some of my most miserable weeks.

Time – as they say – heals all wounds. Including ones of the heart and soul.

Satinalia was a special holiday for me that year. Alistair and I rekindled our relationship (boy, did we ever!)

After a lengthy stay in Denerim, we assisted the Dalish. They agreed to send us troops for the Blight. Now that all of our Grey Warden treaties had been honored, we returned to Redcliffe.

From the frying pan and into the fire.

Arl Eamon had kindly asked that Alistair break off his relationship with me months ago. He wanted to have Alistair step up to his birthright. To become the rightful King of Ferelden, he would need to find a wife with noble blood. When Eamon found out that we were still together… the proverbial shit hit the fan.

We were forbidden from having contact with each other.

Our only small comfort was that Alistair and I had a method of being able to communicate without having to be physically near each other. It wasn’t much, but it helped through that difficult time.

The day of the Landsmeet finally arrived. We were able to expose Logain’s crimes. He and Alistair fought, which resulted in Loghain’s execution.

And it was done.

Alistair was going to be King… if he survived the battle with the archdemon. In the interim, Eamon would serve as regent, though Alistair did make the stipulation that if he fell in battle the crown would go back to Anora.

We traveled back to Redcliffe to meet up with the gathering armies as it seemed that the darkspawn were heading in that direction. With us, was a Grey Warden that I had found and rescued from Arl Howe’s dungeon. His name was Riordan.

Once back at Redcliffe, Alistair and I met with him one evening. He explained to us that the only way to permanently stop the archdemon – and the Blight – was one of us would have to die.

Riordan, as the eldest Warden, volunteered to take that fatal blow… but if he failed then it would be up to Alistair… or me… to end it once and for all.

Then more bad news.

The archdemon had tricked us.

The horde was descending on Denerim!

We’d begin the forced march back to the capital in the morning. It was that night that Eamon found Alistair in his room, praying and crying. Alistair told Eamon what our final fate may be. Hearing this, Eamon relented and let Alistair and I have some time alone… to say goodbye.

As we made our way to capital, I made a decision.

I was not about to let Alistair die.

If Riordan failed in his task to slay the archdemon… I would do it. I’d make that final blow and end the Blight.

The battle was long and bloody. We lost a lot of good people… Riordan included. So I did as I’d promised myself. I slew that damned dragon. The day was won. However, something strange happened.

I was alive.

So was my love.

Weeks after that battle, the citizens and nobles of Ferelden wanted to celebrate our victory. Not wanting to take the chance of losing me ever again, Alistair did something I was not expecting. He stood in front of those nobles, every bit a magnificent King, and said he was going to marry me.

“If the very woman who saved all of our lives is not worthy enough to be my wife, then no one will be!”

Naturally, there were protests. I was a commoner! I was a MAGE! I couldn’t be a Queen!

After much deliberation and arguing, the nobles finally relented… I could marry my love, the King, so as long I had no claim to the throne myself. I agreed. I could be his wife, consort to the King, and potential mother to his heirs, but no more.

This was fine by me. I just wanted to be with my love… for however long we would have together.

Many nobles, though they did allow our marriage, do not believe it will work out. After all, we still both bear the Grey Warden taint in our blood. What is the likelihood of an heir? They figure that Alistair will leave me in favor of a woman who can bear children.

They don’t know their King very well.

He and I have already discussed the situation and we believe our love will find a way.

Love… and perhaps a touch of magic.

[scpie]

11 Ways to Overcome Fear During a Crisis

July 30, 2020 12 min read

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

When President Franklin Delano Roosevelt said, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself,” he wasn’t just making a catchy statement to gin up support for his policies. He was speaking to a nation struggling with what was just the beginning of what we now know as the Great Depression. The statement is not completely true since there are plenty of other things to fear, including sharks, taxes and global pandemics. But this much is an absolute fact — especially for entrepreneurs — fear can lead to unwise decisions, which can bring about the very negative consequences we wish to avoid. There is indeed much to fear about fear itself. Here are 11 ways to overcome fear during the current crisis or the next one you experience.

1. Name the fear

When faced with a crisis and paralyzing fear, the most difficult obstacle in your path may be admitting you are afraid. It’s only once we recognize the reality of the situation that we can deal with it.

One way to better identify your fear is to imagine the worst that can happen. In her New York Times bestseller Insight, author Tasha Eurich shares a recommendation made by decision psychologist Gary Klein, who advocates a “pre-mortem” for major decisions. The idea is to imagine yourself one year in the future and that everything has gone wrong. Your plans are a total disaster. Then write what that would look like. You might find out the worst that can happen isn’t all that bad, or that you can identify steps to avoid the pitfalls that would lead to disaster.

In Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl quoted Spinoza’s Ethics, which said: “Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.” Or to put it another way, Mr. Rogers said, “Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.” 

Dr. Benjamin Hardy, an organizational psychologist and the author of Personality Isn’t Permanent, shared these quotes with me and then told me, “The key to overcoming fear is giving it form.” Hardy says this can be done through journaling and open conversation. “Daily journaling about how you’re feeling, in addition to sharing your feelings with key people in your life, make your emotions manageable.”

Hardy says, “Does this take courage? Absolutely. But it’s worth it. It’s worth not being bogged down by fear and needless suffering. When you are open and honest as a person, life becomes far more manageable. You stop needlessly suffering internally about unfulfilled dreams or former hurts. You move forward. And that’s the freaking key! Moving forward! Moving forward as powerfully and authentically as possible.”

Related: 8 Powerful Phrases Leaders Need to Say in a Time of Crisis

2. Use fear to fuel your courage

The Japanese poet Kenji Miyazawa said, “We must embrace pain and consume it for fuel on our journey.” During a crisis, you may hear others say, “Nobody can get funded right now,” or “It’s time to survive, forget about growth.” Instead, entrepreneurs like Bryan Brandenburg, founder and chief scientist of visualization company Zenerchi, says, “That’s when I go into warrior mode. Don’t follow the conventional wisdom. It comes from people who are afraid to act or are acting from a place of fear. Instead, look for the opportunities caused by others’ fear.” Or, as Warren Buffet says about how to invest successfully, “Be fearful when others are greedy and be greedy only when others are fearful.”

3. Remember the past

When faced with a worrying future, it often pays to think about how we overcame challenges in the past. When thinking of what could be lost, Melinda Dransfield, VP of sales performance elevation for Prudential Retirement, asks, “Have I lost this or something like it before? How did I deal with it before?” and then reminds herself, “I have been through hard things before.”

I started my business in 1999, just before the dot-com bubble burst. Less than two years later, the economy went into another downturn after the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Then there was the 2008 real estate crisis. Now, whenever the business faces difficult circumstances, I tell myself, “You’ve been here before,” and even if I’m not sure exactly how, I know we’ll get through it.

4. Think past the crisis

Imagining a terrible future can help us avoid that future, but what if things work out great? In an April 2020 article in Harvard Business Review, Mark W. Johnson and Josh Suskewicz share perspectives from their book Lead from the Future. They say that though we must take care of the here and now, we can’t lose sight of the bigger picture. Whatever the future holds, they say, “You need to begin preparing for it now. And to do that right, you need to have a longer-term vision of what you aspire to become in five or even 10 years — a north star that will focus and help shape your thinking about the short- and mid-term.”

I’m reminded of how I learned to mow straight lines across a large lawn by focusing on a point in the distance, rather than the ground in front of me. Even if I ran into bumps along the way, as long as I kept my eye on that point, when I finished I could look back and see a straight path. Take care of the short term, but keep an eye on what’s to come or you’ll find it difficult to avoid getting pulled in multiple directions.

Related: You Can’t Do Everything, and If You Try to You’ll Do Even Less

5. Invest in “alive time”

Your business may not be in danger of going under, but perhaps you find yourself with a lot of spare time. Ryan Holiday, author of multiple bestselling books like The Obstacle Is the Way and Ego Is the Enemy, recalls advice he got about such times from another bestselling author, Robert Green (The 48 Laws of Power). “He told me there are two types of time: alive time and dead time,” Holiday wrote in a recent blog post. “One is when you sit around, when you wait until things happen to you. The other is when you are in control, when you make every second count, when you are learning and improving and growing.”

Could you use the extra time your business has to retool your systems, train your team, or build new products and services?

6. Build your fear muscle

Think of fear like gravity: With the proper equipment, it can help you become stronger. Noah Kagan, “Chief Sumo” at AppSumo.com, likes “the coffee challenge,” in which you ask for 10 percent off your next purchase. Awkward? Difficult? Scary? That’s the point. Do it repeatedly and it will get easier, not because the task itself is any easier, but because you’ve become stronger.

Jia Jiang took this to the ultimate level when he decided to intentionally get rejected 100 times in 100 days. He was inspired after his first attempt at entrepreneurship ended in rejection, leaving Jia emotionally crushed. However, after he recognized his fear of rejection was harming him more than the actual rejection, he decided to embrace rejection in order to become more comfortable with it. His experiences not only helped him become almost immune to rejection but also led to a TED talk on rejection that has been viewed over 6 million times and the bestselling book Rejection Proof.

7. Reevaluate what makes you unique

In a crisis, it’s easy to lose focus on your business and why it exists and instead get trapped into concerns about next week’s payroll. Of course, short-term concerns are important, but if we focus on them too much we may miss opportunities. “Get very clear on your point of view,” advises Steve Watt,  VP of marketing at Grapevine6. “Figure out why (and for whom) your approach offers a way forward in difficult times.” You may have a new customer segment that suddenly cares about your company’s offering in a way they didn’t before. 

That’s what happened to Zoom, the video conferencing service, in the early months of 2020. As the Covid-19 virus sent tens of millions of students and workers home, Zoom found itself perfectly positioned to help them stay connected. Through outreach (and a healthy dose of word of mouth) Zoom grew from 10 million to daily users in December 2019 to over 300 million daily users by April 2020. 

In a crisis, you can combat fear as you find your new niche and let others know how you can solve their problems.

Related: How Entrepreneurs Can Find Clarity in Uncertain Times

8. Identify what you can — and can’t — control

“Fear isn’t bad. It’s the crippling uncertainty that comes with it that eats at us,” says Zachary Zimmerman, senior account manager at marketing agency agency Number Six. To combat that uncertainty, Zimmerman sorts out which aspects of a challenge he has control over and which he doesn’t. This reduces the uncertainty and allows him to focus on what he can change without wasting time on what he can’t.

9. See fear positively

Fear isn’t all bad — sometimes fear keeps us safe from real harm. Fear can also give us motivation. “Fear can be a very positive emotion when it sparks in us the behavior required to overcome, and when we are confident in where we are going,” says Andy Cindrich, senior consultant at FranklinCovey.

10. Find the opportunity

Marcus Sheridan’s experience shows why it’s so important to see every moment, even a crisis, as an opportunity. In 2008, the real estate crisis hit, and Sheridan was in the swimming pool business. Despite occupying a market in which many people were worried about losing their homes (not buying new pools), Sheridan saw that pool builders weren’t using the internet to answer buyers’ questions. He started answering those questions online, and his company’s website became the Wikipedia of swimming pool information. Now his company is the fastest growing fiberglass swimming pool manufacturer in the world. 

“When Covid-19 hit and I realized that it was going to get ugly, once again my thoughts immediately shifted,” Sheridan says. “I told myself, ‘Marcus, commit now to find the opportunity in this moment.’”

In just a few months, Sheridan’s company introduced a virtual sales methodology to its team of dealers all over the country and experienced tremendous success. Despite the pandemic-related economic downturn, in April 2020 Sheridan’s company broke every sales record it has ever had.

Related: How Three Different Tech Companies Are Tackling the Common Fight Against Coronavirus

11. Don’t give up

As a senior sales executive, Hunter Sebresos was present for a meeting in which investors were preparing to shut down the company he was working for. However, he knew their customers had a need, so rather than throwing up his hands and trying to find a new job, he came up with a new business model on the spot, pitched it to the investors right then and there, and won funding to create Bacon, a mobile app that allows companies to post details about their temporary staffing jobs straight from their phones and quickly fill positions, rather than spending days or weeks with a staffing or temp agency. 

Your company may be on the brink, but is there a way to pivot that gives you a second chance?

There is always hope

No matter how bad things get, there’s always hope for a better future. Even at the height of the Great Depression, the unemployment rate was 24.9 percent — alarming, but it means that 75.1 percent were still employed. Many of the greatest companies of all time were founded during times of great economic challenges. A short list includes Procter & Gamble, IBM, General Electric, General Motors, FedEx, Hyatt, IHOP, Disney, HP, Microsoft, Burger King, CNN and Apple (twice, first during the downturn in 1975, and then when it was resurrected from near-death during the dot-com crash of 2001).

There may be a global crisis right now, and there are certainly others brewing, but even in a crisis — especially during a crisis — there are people out there who need what you have, and there may be no better time to get busy giving it to them.

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[jestdrabbles]

Every Hurdle, Every Chasm - Chapter 00

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia Warnings: hospitals Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Iida Tenya, Uraraka Ochako, Asui Tsuyu, Todoroki Shouto, Shouto’s mother, All Might | Toshinori Yagi Relationships: Dekusquad friendship | Pining Tododeku & Tsuchako Other info: Dekusquad Roadtrip AU ; Fun times ahead but also some tough emotional times so I should definitely warn about that!; MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS.

Words: ~7,200 | Chapter: 00/14 | Language: English

With the end of their semester exams, the now third-years of U.A. get to finally enjoy a break without mandatory training or internships. Izuku Midoriya and his friends decide to take a roadtrip to visit some family, friends, and holiday celebrations for the winter break. 

While some are along for the thrill of the ride, others have personal goals to achieve through the journey.

[ Somewhat of a preliminary chapter for the roadtrip au! ]

Day 00: Preparations [December 23]

“...And don’t do anything reckless. We’re actually giving you the break, so spend it wisely.”

Class wraps up with pencil taps and bouncing legs waiting out their teacher’s final words.

Then, like magic, the final minutes count down to dismiss U.A.’s students to their winter break. Izuku Midoriya slings his bag over his shoulders and turns to the the left of the classroom where Shouto Todoroki meets his eyes in understood confirmation. Tsuyu Asui excuses herself from the class first, promising to be back in the dorms after a quick errand. After a cheerful parting, Ochako Uraraka bumps Tenya Iida out the door so they could both return to the dorms and take care of their own last minute preparations before the morning’s commitment. She can hardly contain her excitement as her voice trails down the hall in boisterous bursts that call for the former class president to contain her energy. As third years, they have a certain impression on their underclassmen; however, Ochako successfully disputes that their class has never maintained any such fabled degree of chill in their three years at U.A. Hard to argue when her face beams such a confident smile, so Tenya drops the matter with a fond chuckle in agreement.

While students still converse amongst themselves for plans over the break, Izuku and Shouto try not to linger too long as they duck from eager limbs swinging in a mixture of newfound energy and relief. Trying his best to uphold the cheery demeanor of his peers, Izuku starts the flow of conversation between them.

“So… have you finished packing?”

Shouto quirks a brow, “...Was I supposed to be?” he asks as if caught off guard, but he’s met with a snicker quickly covered by his friend’s scarred hand. Even after the past few years of hearing Izuku’s laugh, Shouto would always find it to be one of his more endearing qualities. Rather than linger on the sentiment, he decides it better to let his freckled friend enjoy the teasing just a little longer.

“Wait, seriously? Let me guess… you haven’t started,” Izuku peeks out the corner of his eye and waits for the confirmation, and Shouto delivers with a nice, flat:

“Nope.”

“Todoroki! You have to sleep tonight!”

“I’ll sleep in the car.”

Izuku sulks his shoulders and opens his mouth to dispute, but closes it again. “You were prepared,” he notes the readiness in the boy’s deadpan, and his neutral expression gives to an upturn of his lip. Shouto’s smiles were subtle, his laughs even more so; this is the most he’ll get out of him. “Well, don’t worry about bringing toothpaste or shampoo unless you’re really particular about that kind of thing. Oh, and I think Tsu’s bringing the blow dryer since she doesn’t want to sleep with wet hair. What else… ah! I packed a sleeping bag in case anyone has to sleep on the floor at some point, but it might not be comfortable for you or Iida since you’re both taller… maybe I should have tried finding a bigger one, but then it wouldn’t have fit as well in my luggage, so I wouldn’t have space for the spare jacket or…” he continues on weighing the pros and cons of his luggage choice, unraveling his previous decisions until he’s mentally unpacking and repacking it all over again.

Shouto doesn’t mind his ramblings, especially when the commute from campus to the hospital could take their minds in several other directions. Only recently Izuku began accompanying him on free days, but not to see his friend’s mother. The subject still weighs heavily in his stomach, anxiety threatening to lurch and burn every positive thought until they’re left to expose harsh truths.

All Might isn’t doing well.

He hasn’t been for a while now, but with the winter’s wicked welcome this year, his health put him at further risk. Just to be safe, he agreed to admittance for the season and would be discharged in spring should all prove favorable. The former number one hero still proves to be one of the strongest, most inspiring people in their world, and losing him as a pro their first year still stings in the aftermath. Shouto feels a certain degree of pain from having admired All Might throughout his unforgiving childhood, always actively averting his tendencies that his father drilled into him in order to be the sort of hero he favored. However, he cannot help but keep his eyes on Izuku ever since the change; while not father and son as originally thought, he’s learned how adoration clings strongly in Izuku’s heart for his hero.

They may as well be family.

He has to dispose of his worry for his friend’s sake. Just as their hero had done for them, they must do for him with a smile across their lips and action ready in their hands. Shouto only listens along to Izuku’s muttering with an ebbing nod while he keeps loose attention for their stop. Rather than cut off the muttering, he gently ushers the both of them off the train, and the other boy drops his thought with laughter in his voice as he apologizes for it.

“Hey, Todoroki? Can I ask you something?” his voice glides over the melancholy permeating in his chest as his hands find one another to keep occupied as they walk. Shouto doesn’t waste much time offering a sort of grunt in acknowledgement, so Izuku continues. “You’ve been doing this for a while now, so I just wanted to ask if it… Does it ever get easier seeing her in there?”

It’s a topic the group tends to skirt around politely, but sometimes Izuku takes the extra step to check on him through it since he’s the only one Shouto ever openly told. In this case, he can tell by the way his tone pushes through worry that he’s hoping for reassurance.

“Remember when we were in the hospital after the hero killer incident? It was the first time after seeing my mother again that I’d stayed in a hospital overnight like that, and to be honest, I didn’t sleep well,” that was no surprise considering the three had shared a brief conversation that night about trouble sleeping, but eventually Izuku and Tenya were able to drift into snoring slumber. “I kept thinking this is how Mom must feel. I hated it, but now whenever I go, I use that to remind myself why I’m going to get her out of there.”

A resolve built from hatred, but a hatred stemming from love. Izuku could smash his legs and shout out to the heavens for his hero, but he knows gaunt cheeks would only sink further into a frown. With both hands, Izuku must pull the burden from his mentor’s shoulders. You’re next. The phrase still haunts him through his growth, reminding him it isn’t enough. He swears in his heart he’ll make it, and maybe Shouto’s inspiration isn’t so far off.

“...Perhaps Iida would be better suited to answer that,” Izuku snaps out of his thoughts to realize he never said anything in response, and his hands wave frantically in his fluster.

“Sorry! Sorry, I was thinking about what you said,” he corrects his silence, but Shouto isn’t wrong in suggesting that he talk to Tenya, as well. “Thanks,” wide eyes blink up to his stoic companion, “you’re right, Todoroki. I shouldn’t think of this as permanent.”

When they reach the front desk, they each speak to the receptionist before tracing familiar steps to their differing sections of the hospital. When Izuku establishes a plan to text each other when they’re ready, Shouto catches the way his brow weighs heavy despite his grin. Pushing himself as usual, but nothing Shouto can say would possibly lighten his load, so he accepts his gentle watch as they part ways should his friend feel crushed from the weight.

He’s already meddling enough by agreeing to come here together, after all.

He doesn’t need to hound him for answers just yet.

The third-years’ dormitory building abounds in chatter and cheers as students either sprawl across sofas and chairs or drag luggage across the floor -- aggressive kicks often accompanying those misbehaving loose wheels. Iida parts with her close to the entrance as he heads toward the boys’ side. Ochako hums to herself until she meets eyes with classmates and friends, gesturing friendly waves and fistbumps accordingly on her way to her room. While she would love to dive into a pile of Mina and Tooru on the sofa, she wants to triple check everything before taking the night off. Floaty by nature, but she likes to believe she’s well-grounded in her responsibilities at least.

Besides, there are a couple of voices she’d love to hear right now, and so when she closes her dorm room’s door, she contemplates using her phone but ultimately decides to send a text and use her school laptop courtesy of some extra funding that came through about a year ago. Once she receives the response she’s hoping for, her rosy cheeks ignite her smile and she immediately sets the video chat to call them. It only takes a few rings before they’re connected, and she waves both hands to her parents’ faces on the other side.

“Mama, Papa, hey!” she greets them with eager affection, still using the childlike names that her peers have probably abandoned. She keeps herself close enough to the screen to avoid showing them her luggage, but before she can squeeze another word in, they’re offering their own enthusiasm with instant praise.

“Congratulations, Ochako!” they hollar almost in unison, then their speech interrupts one another with her father telling her he has full faith she did well on her exams and her mother voicing her pride. They laugh at one another, and Mr. Uraraka meets his daughter’s eyes when she peeks behind her hands from the flattery.

“How does it feel to be done with your exams?”

“Almost unreal,” she admits twiddling her thumbs and softening bashfully, “I keep crashing between excitement for the break and wondering if I’ll have another test tomorrow, y’know? I guess it’s because the past couple’a years we haven’t really gotten much free time from our breaks with all the training and preparation.”

“I think you kids’ve more than earned it,” he reassures her, “I’m sure you’ve been working hard.”

“Yeah… yeah, I really have been giving it my all,” she lets her shoulders relax, “but that’s not really an issue for me, you know?” Her parents smile along with her, but there’s worry in their eyes for their overworked daughter. No matter what they say, she has it in her head that she has to push herself through it all so quickly, and they’ve learned it’s better to catch her when she falls since she won’t let them stop her.

“Well… d’you have anything planned for the holiday, Ochako?” Mrs. Uraraka lifts the conversation, and her daughter hides her scheme very well through a calm tone as she hums in thought.

Of course she has a plan -- it’s the whole reason she and her friends planned this excursion in the first place! But it’s a nice, cozy secret nestled in her heart, and she cannot bring herself to even hint at it or else the surprise may spoil. Thankfully, she already knows her parents do not change their daily lives regardless of the holidays, so they won’t expect her and a car full of gifts and friends this time of year. Christmas is only a day away, but it isn’t soon enough to bombard them with a celebration they never, ever got to experience as a family. Not properly, anyway.

It takes every last bit of her willpower to stop her grin from spreading, and she shrugs her shoulders in response to their curiosity, “I was thinking about getting a part time job. I get restless with too much free time!”

Her mother frowns, and her father’s learned that she’s a workaholic. He eases her concern with a chuckle and puts an arm around her, “Just don’t make us worry too much, okay?”

“Hey, I’ve gotten better!” she blurts defensively with her hands up before crossing her arms in a dramatic pout, glancing back with her vivacious brown eyes to play along. “I have a lot of really good friends now, and we’ve all had to deal with each other pushing ourselves too far. I don’t think they’ll really let me do that again,” she laughs and it eases their concerns almost instantly. They always wish they could take care of her, but there’s only so much they can do from outside the city. Knowing that she’s found such reliable friends who could look after her in their stead couldn’t make them happier for their daughter.

The family continues chatting while buoying each others’ moods so naturally that it almost makes Ochako sink when they have to dismiss themselves to tend to dinner. They mean well, but she still pouts when they remind her not to skip a meal; after hearing about her frugal attempts to save money through having sleep for dinner, they’ve been a bit more vocal in reminding her. She bids them farewell with a promise to call back soon, and she returns to her packing.

Thankfully, she took care of the bulk of it and found a way to squeeze most of the gifts into one suitcase, but overall she still needs two to fit some bedding. She thought about squeezing her hero costume into her luggage but inevitably decided against it since it could prove to be more trouble than it’s worth. It isn’t like she could run all the way back to the car or their hotel room to change in the event of a sudden crisis. But just because they’re taking a trip didn’t mean that heroics would suddenly abandon them -- especially with someone like Deku on board.

She chortles to herself and decides to do something about this remaining energy, so after a quick text conversation asking Eijiro Kirishima to join her at the campus gym, Ochako changes into her workout attire and nearly speeds to the building.

A long time ago, her father told her not to rush so quickly. She could take her time if she wanted.

Ochako Uraraka may not be anywhere near the fastest student in her class, but she doesn’t take her life slowly. She’ll charge head-on to her goals and strive toward larger ones. Her parents won’t have to worry about her much longer: she swears they’ll understand.

She tugs her hair back as she runs and practically slams her fist into Kirishima’s when they meet.

“So you’ll be getting here around 11?”

“If all goes accordingly, yes,” Tenya holds the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he rummages through his luggage. “And you’ll be home?”

“Naturally,” Tensei replies casually. “Mom’s going to want to make you all lunch before you head out, so be ready for that.”

“But I already told her not to worry about that.”

“You know how she is,” he can almost hear the smile on his face, “besides, I’m here to help out. It would be a shame for you to just take the car and leave so soon, you know?”

“That’s true,” Tenya relents, “thank you, Tensei. Should I bring anything home for either of you?”

“Just you and your friends. Seriously, you don’t have to repay us, all right? The car’s been sitting here untouched forever, so I think it’s great you can get some use out of it.”

Tenya’s worries ease comfortably into a smile with his brother’s voice reassuring him, and he offers his own acceptance with dual affirmation. The former hero laughs a little, “Still… I have to question your itinerary here, little brother.”

“Believe me,” he sighed, “I tried to change it, but Uraraka wouldn’t budge. She insisted that we arrive in Mie for Christmas, so we couldn’t save it for later.” Uraraka Ochako, bright and bubbly as can be, is a force to be reckoned with when she sets her mind on something. The commute to Tokyo, then driving down around Mie, then all the way up to Hokkaido, and lastly returning down through Tokyo again. Holiday displays and celebrations await them with promises of cheer and a chance to have some youthful fun before the world swings with the full weight of a fist held for years.

“I’m sure you’ll all have fun. Try not to get too sick of each other,” Tensei teases, “and no backseat driving when your friend takes over.”

“I’ve made sure Todoroki meets my driving standards,” Tenya places a hand on his chest with pride as if playing along. They’d agreed to take shifts depending on the time of day: Tenya during the daylight hours, Todoroki during the night. His friend tends to go above the speed limit, but his control is reliable and careful enough to pardon with a gentle reminder. “We’ll be safe, Tensei.”

“Trouble has a way of finding you kids, so I can’t help but worry a little,” he pauses and hums almost like he’s disagreeing with himself. Villain attacks have become so normal, especially lately. The pros have been working themselves nonstop, and while Tensei himself can no longer patrol as he used to, he’s been active in his agency to handle as much as he can. Still, he can only monitor so much in the Tokyo area, and it seemed the larger, more dangerous spread of villainy was trailing further and further north for a reason no one could determine for sure. “But I know how strong you and your friends have become. Stick together, and let the pros handle it.”

“Will do,” Tenya assures. Ever since he learned the consequences of acting alone, Tenya has never once tried to confront danger without a back-up plan or support. Unfortunately for him, he knows at least two people in his group who still tend to act a bit impulsively despite the experience. They wrap up their call with some extra words pertaining to tolls and traffic warnings, but otherwise keep optimistic about it all.

When he ends the call, Tenya changes from his uniform to more comfortable clothes and heads back downstairs to enjoy the rest of his night amongst his peers. The idea that attacks were becoming more frequent naturally concerned the former class president, so he wanted to see with his own eyes that everyone made it safe to the dorms. A futile worry considering their futures, but one he’d permit while they were still students and not responsible quite yet for the rough path ahead.

But first… he couldn’t possibly ignore that unmistakably satisfying scent coming from the kitchen.

Although she could have easily ventured back to the dorms with her friends, Tsuyu has another agenda for the evening that warms her from spirit to skin despite the winter wind challenging her at every step. Her froggy nature shifts her preferences to nice, warm, humid conditions, but if she has any single adversary as Tsuyu Asui and not Froppy, it’s the winter. Sometimes the fall and spring serve as worthy contenders, but only the frosty air makes her bundle from ear-to-toe. Only this climate slows her down to straggle a little farther than she’d like to admit.

She decides to take her time on the commute to the supermarket. Years of taking care of her siblings in her parents’ stead has taught her to take advantage of bargains when she sees them, but thankfully tonight’s dinner shouldn’t be all that expensive to begin with. Mundane victories, she thinks as she smiles to herself in anticipation of some homemade stew. She makes her purchase and returns to the dorms before the sun could sneak away from the skyline.

“Hey, Tsuyu! Went to the store?” Mina turns from the common room’s sofa when Tsuyu enters with her tote full of groceries. The dorm is kept fairly warm this time of year, so she starts pulling off her mittens and unwrapping her scarf when she greets her friend.

“Since we’re leaving tomorrow, I don’t know when we’ll get another chance to have a home cooked dinner like this,” she explains with her finger pressed to her cheek. “Plus, I really wanted stew. You can have some too if you want, Mina.”

“Ooh! I’d love some! We gotta stay warm, after all!”

“That’s the plan,” Tsuyu smiles back and dismisses herself from the common room and enters the small communal kitchen. She goes through the motions of washing all her vegetables and chopping them up accordingly in her own comfortable silence. Sometimes she misses her siblings’ voices constantly trying to make the food cook quicker, but passerby classmates commenting on the smell is just as well.

Tsuyu knows how demanding hero work is. She knows that the past few years have only been a small glance at what awaits their lives after graduation. And while she’s more than prepared for the task, part of her laments the loss of their time together.

The thought that their work will drive them apart breaks her heart.

Everything about their wintery excursion conflicts with her comforts, yet Tsuyu awaits it with all the warmth she could ever hope for. Not only will she get to see Ochako’s hometown, but she’ll be able to travel up north with her friends and laugh together through it all. She isn’t one for singing, but thinking about the positives composes a nice melody in her head while the stew simmers.

“There you are, Tsuyu,” Tenya pauses in front of the entry mid-motion, and he turns his body almost robotically and repositions his hands. “Are you prepared for tomorrow?”

“Sure,” she nods and turns from the pot to him, natural hop taking over as she closes the distance. “Did you need something?”

“Just making the rounds and making sure you’re all back safe,” he clarifies. “Midoriya and Todoroki aren’t back yet?”

“You’re the only one I’ve seen,” she lets her hands dangle in front of her and flattens her lips a moment, “we’re going to have to use a buddy system, aren’t we?”

“Exactly what I was thinking,” he grins. “I heard Uraraka is with Kirishima right now, so at least I know she’s still on campus. I’m not worried about those two per say, but…”

“I don’t think they’ll want to stay around for hospital dinner,” she comments and points over to her pots of stew and rice still cooking. “If they’re back by the time it’s done, we should all eat together.”

“A perfect idea!” his smile spreads, “I’ll send them a text to let them know.” She watches him for a moment longer, empty gaze peering through almost too intently that his smile falters slightly and he feels the need to stiffen his shoulders. She doesn’t know why she doesn’t connect it sooner, but soon enough, Tsuyu’s lips press up into a satisfied smile as her finger joins her cheek.

“This is because you like beef stew, isn’t it, Tenya?” she calls him out with ribbiting grace.

Before he can muster some sort of excuse amidst his hand motions and sputtering, loud footsteps make way for a sweaty, panting Ochako Uraraka gripping the open doorframe and hanging her head into view. “Thought I heard you two in here!” she takes a whiff of the air and almost melts, “That smells so good!”

“We were just talking abou--”

“Wait! I have to redo it!” Ochako pulls back abruptly and reappears to lean against the door frame and fire a finger gun toward Tsuyu. “What’s cookin’ good lookin’?”

It starts with a snicker, but soon enough Tsuyu’s mouth lets out a laugh right from her warming heart. Between Ochako and Tenya, she couldn’t be more grateful for her friends’ comedic timing. She waves her hand for the both of them to follow her back to the stove, and she removes the lid to show them the stew still cooking in the pot. The three crowd around to take it in with a nice, almost harmonious breath, but it passes when Tsuyu covers it again.

“It should be ready in a couple more hours. I invited Mina to have some with us, too, but I think I’ll just leave the leftovers out to share with anyone else, too.”

“You’re so considerate,” Ochako smiles from ear to ear as she steps back.

“I’m used to it,” she gives a shrug and starts making her way to the dishes and utensils she used to prepare. “I have to wash these, but I’ll be out in the main room after. What are you two going to do?”

“I need to shower, first thing,” Ochako tugs at her shirt as if to fan it out.

“I’ve taken care of things on my end, so let me help you with this,” he offers by picking up one of the bowls. Tsuyu accepts with a nod and thanks, and Ochako excuses herself to go wash up. Idle conversation consumes the kitchen between the two of them, and once everything is rinsed and placed on the rack, they return to the common room where Tsuyu practically crashes on the edge of the sofa and Tenya takes an armchair.

Soon enough, Ochako rejoins them with her damp hair and squeezes between Tsuyu and Mina.

This is the kind of closeness that Tsuyu Asui wants to hold onto.

She hopes the next two weeks will be filled with this peaceful, friendly atmosphere.

Shouto gives a light knock to his mother’s room before slowly turning the handle and letting himself in to see her at her bed, smile spreading as she takes in his presence. He can’t help but ease into his own as he closes the door behind him and greets her with warmth in his voice. He’d told Izuku that anger drove him to free her from this place, but when it came down to how he truly felt with her eyes on him, he couldn’t feel more relieved.

“Congratulations on finishing your exams!” she rises from her bed to meet him halfway as her hands extend to take his in a celebratory shake. Ms. Todoroki lets them go with a gentle squeeze and turns around to her end table, “I know you’ve been working hard, and I’ve been waiting for the right time to give you this…” she ducks down with her fingers tucking her hair behind her ear before she pulls a box from the bottom shelf. Holding it out to him, her eyes squint slightly in her smile.

Instinct robs him of what to say, frozen in place with a thought of something undeserving until he filters it out in favor of replaying his mother’s voice. They’ve exchanged gifts here and there, but it was mostly on his part since she could easily run out of things to do in her room alone. Books, crafting supplies, movies, music -- anything that could possibly make the solitude more bearable seems to clutter her shelves these days. Shouto’s lips tighten in bashfulness, cheeks tinged slightly as he accepts.

“Thanks, Mom,” he manages to say, and she urges him to open it with an eager wave of her fingers as if dusting the air. He pulls at the tape to resist tearing the whole structure apart, and once he slides the tissue aside, he passes his fingertips over a soft, pastel blue scarf. He studies it a moment, noting the personal touch to it that couldn’t have been store bought, and when it clicks, he gingerly takes it in his hand and lowers the box on her desk. “Did you make this?”

“I’ve been practicing,” she beams as he wraps it around his neck and reaches around behind his head tie it in place, struggling only slightly until she takes it upon herself to move behind him and straighten it out with a hum. She combs her fingers down his hair to set it back in place, careful not to linger in case her touch makes him uncomfortable, but she can’t help but feel pride in how her son is growing into himself.

“Thank you,” he lowers his head to look at it again, his fingertips pressing into the material lightly, “I’ll make sure nothing happens to it.”

“I trust you will,” she smiles and takes a seat at the edge of her bed. “So are you excited for your trip? What are you looking forward to the most?” her curiosity shows through tired eyes, and part of his eagerness for the small adventure with his friends leads back to having stories to tell her.

“The food,” he answers almost too easily, “and traveling with my friends without having to worry about work or school.” He ponders a moment at the validity of what he’s said but decides to leave it at that for both their sakes. Judging by her cheeriness at hearing the word friends, he’s made the right call to ease her worry.

“I know you won’t if you can help it, but try to take pictures so I can see,” she eyes the shelf where her scrapbooks pile -- another little craft she’d taken up after Fuyumi suggested it. Shouto nods knowing full well Uraraka will take care of it tenfold, and he almost wants to apologize ahead of time for how visibly uncomfortable he’ll probably seem in the photographs.

“If all goes right, we’ll be able to go together,” Shouto holds onto the near future with as much optimism as he can, and it always brings a glimmer of sorrow to his mother’s dark eyes as she casts them down before trying to tag along with his spirit. “Then you can take as many pictures as you want. Promise,” his lips tug into a genuine grin -- albeit, still a little awkward from a shy sentiment -- and she laughs as she wipes her eye delicately.

In my memories, Mom is always crying. Enji is a deplorable bastard, that much is abundantly obvious, and Shouto swears these tears will outweigh the past. It’s a life she never deserved, likely never wanted, yet she did everything she could to support them until her breaking point. Keeping her here all these years rather than letting her move on with her life is a clear sign that there’s no other way around this. If he’s going to rescue her from this place, he’s going to have to confront the monstrous, number-one hero himself.

He contains the resentment, trickles it down until it dilutes into resolve. He’ll take this traveling opportunity to catch up with him, make him listen once and for all. Just his luck that the villain attacks have been pushing his father north in the line of duty. He’ll catch up.

Then, maybe then, he won’t have to regret not accomplishing this sooner.

“I look forward to it, Shouto.”

Even now his knuckles hover before the door in wait of some excuse to turn tail and prolong his visit. Izuku takes a breath, recalls courage forced upon him, and still sees his scarred hand tremble with nerves. If All Might has a guest, then he can get away with taking a seat in the hall; however, in the two minutes he’s stood here, the only sound is his own pulse pounding in his ears. Now or never, he tells himself. With another breath, he finally knocks lightly and hears a creak from the other side. Rather than call out to him to open it, he supposes All Might would rather do it himself.

He isn’t in critical condition or anything.

This is just a precaution, that’s all.

Izuku reminds himself over and over, just like the last visits, and when his skeleton of a mentor opens the door, he swears sunken eyes never brightened so quickly. “Midoriya, my boy! You could have let yourself in, you know,” he places a hand on Izuku’s shoulder, noting the subtle shake and doing his part to quell it.

He nods and closes the door behind them. It takes him a while to really look at All Might in full, but once he does, he’s met with relief that there’s really no difference in his physique than normal. Though, panning over to the bed, he can see a bloodied rag set aside lazily. No use hiding something he’d pull out frequently. His teacher isn’t ignorant to his concerns, and if he could manage his old form to pass himself off as healthy as ever, perhaps he would right now. Instead, All Might has delved deeper into Toshinori Yagi, and Toshinori Yagi just doesn’t have the energy for it anymore.

“You seem more anxious than usual, young Midoriya,” he pulls out the chair from his desk and slides it closer to the bed so he can have a seat while he takes the edge of the bed for himself. “How did exams go?”

“O-oh! They went fine... I’m not particularly worried about it,” he admits as he takes a seat and sets his bag down at his feet. “I don’t think anything could ever top the horror of that one practical portion our first year,” he doesn’t have to get specific for All Might to pull back his hair and let out his own exasperation at the memory. If teaming up with Katsuki Bakugou to fight All Might still in his hero age is the standard for horrible testing experiences, then Izuku’s glad that the worst is far, far behind him. At least now Katsuki isn’t nearly as awful to him, but they don’t need to gossip about other students.

Though anything would probably be nicer than having to confront the issue.

“Well, I’m glad to hear it,” he smiles and resists the urge to reach across and ruffle his pupil’s hair; sometimes impulses were better saved for younger years, he supposes. Despite tension dropping slightly in Izuku’s posture, All Might can tell that there’s something on his mind that he’s trying to put into words rather than mutter them all out. In the past he may have waited longer, but older age has taken away the need. “But there’s something on your mind, hm?”

“Well, yeah,” he trails off and takes a breath before lifting his head again to meet All Might’s darkened eyes. “It’s just… ever since you’ve been here, I’ve been close by so even if I got worried, I could come visit no problem. But knowing I’m going to be gone for almost two weeks makes me worried. I mean, I know I can always call you! And I know you’re not in bad shape or anything! It’s just… different,” he reduces his speech to a mumble, then repeats himself clearer. “It’s different.”

Perhaps inappropriate, All Might laughs into a cough and has to wipe his mouth with that same bloody rag once he’s done. Izuku is at least used to that even when they first met, so he tries to keep that in mind as his shoulders relax a little more. “Young man, I couldn’t beg to be left alone at this point. Between my colleagues, friends, the staff, students, and even your mother, this room is hardly empty.”

“M-mom?! She comes to see you?” he feels his face flush from the surprise and minor dread that she’s perhaps come to scold him about something else. All Might gets another chuckle out of this, but thankfully there’s no further bloodshed.

“That’s right. She won’t let me waste away in here,” he smiles and offers Izuku a thumbs up. “And I don’t plan on it, either. I only agreed to this so no one would stress out and force me.” He recalls an old promise about twisting fate together, and he tries his best to hold onto it.

“I know the feeling,” they share half-smiles and ease into themselves a little more. “Okay then… what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you’re discharged?”

He ponders a moment and leans forward to prop his arms on his legs in poor posture, “I think I’ll see a movie. Maybe even before I head back to my place.”

Izuku can’t help but appreciate how average it sounds. For so long, All Might has been a grand figure in his life, then someone so close and personal, but even now he’s still learning bits and pieces about the person apart from his heroics. All Might -- no, Toshinori Yagi -- likes movies. He almost asks if he used to go in his hero-form in his prime, but he’ll save that for his imagination.

“Actually, I was planning on watching one a little later. But since you’re here, care to join me?” he checks the time to make sure he won’t impose too much, but before he can think any further, Izuku blurts out a confirmation and meets him with eager eyes. All Might could put on one of the worst pieces in cinematic history, but Izuku would appreciate every minute to experience it with his hero. Sometimes he gets a little too wrapped up in his past idolization, and he has to bring himself back to the present. All Might doesn’t seem to mind it at all and laughs as he pulls out his laptop and sorts through his files.

“Have you seen Logan?” when Izuku shakes his head, All Might pulls up the movie and sets it to full-screen before propping it on the end table without stating a premise or anything. He gets a little more comfortable on the bed with his long legs crossed, and his successor angles his chair and accepts the pillow passed to him.

Odd to think of a time before quirks were so prevalent in society, but it makes him recall the first time All Might ever told him about All for One. It seems so long ago, almost like he should have known sooner, but all it does is reaffirm his resolve to take the trip. While they’re vacationing, Izuku has done his research and found an additional stop on the way back. Where it started so many years ago -- he doubts he’ll find anything substantial, but the need for closure guides him back. If he’s to carry the weight of eight other lives, then he should understand the place it began.

It’s a question he won’t ask All Might. This is something to find for himself.

But it can wait. For now, he allows himself to get pulled into the fictional world.

Shouto’s lowered voice is muffled by the door, so when he’s denied a response, he decides to let himself into the dark room. The only light comes from the laptop screen nearly blocked by Midoriya’s frame; he must be so invested that he hasn’t checked his phone. All Might turns to silently greet him and welcome him to join as they reach the final scene of the film. He complies and takes a seat on the edge of the bed behind Izuku, but also next to a pile of crumpled tissues.

He’s quiet out of respect, but Shouto leans slightly to see puffy, green eyes still recovering from a previous cry and on the verge of another. He doesn’t recognize the foreign movie on screen, but he can appreciate out of context action scenes well enough (even if they’re obviously fake). He’ll have to ask what it is later, but for now he sits a little longer until he reads the atmosphere well enough to hear Midoriya’s voice crack as he utters oh-nos and no-don’ts. As if on cue, he dismisses himself and decides to get his very emotional friend and teacher some drinksfrom the vending machine down the hall.

Shouto probably should not have interrupted, he’s realizing. He decides to take a seat on the floor beside the machine and occupy himself with a canned coffee. If Midoriya missed his message, chances are he hasn’t seen the texts from Iida. There’s a separate message from Uraraka asking about extra space in his bag, and he’s just as honest with her as he’d been with Midoriya.

She types, erases, then types again, and soon enough he’s bombarded with shocked emojis and more question marks than he knows what to do with. He sends back the shrug emote despite her obvious concerns about his sleep schedule. Their conversation eventually ends with her telling him to at least work on a checklist for his bag before packing. He agrees with a thumbs-up and shifts to the news app to keep track of any updates.

Nothing concrete yet. He doesn’t know whether to consider it a blessing or a curse.

After a while, Midoriya messages him back an apology for missing the last few texts. No reason to really dwell on something so insignificant, so he asks if he’s ready to head out. When the other boy tells him that he’s gathering his things, Shouto pulls himself from the floor with the drinks he already bought them and decides to at least tell All Might goodbye.

Cans exchanged, shoulders touched, and red-eyed friend retrieved.

The sky is much darker when they leave the hospital than when they arrived.

The boys return to a far quieter dorm since most of the students had already left for the holidays by the time they come back. Ashido greets them with a drawn out FINALLY as if they’ve all been waiting for something, but her smile nips Todoroki’s blooming apology. Kaminari perks up and practically springs to his feet and motions over to the table, announcing that they can eat, and Kirishima flashes a sharp-toothed grin as the three make their way over to take their seats.

It isn’t until Iida, Asui, and Uraraka come carrying the silverware, pots, and bowls that it clicks, and Midoriya’s face brightens with the promise of homemade cooking to finish off the night as he gives his own cheer to his friends in appreciation for the meal. Everyone raises their glasses in a celebratory toast for having finished up those last assignments, and once the clinks’ echoes fade, they begin digging in with more than enough compliments to their froggy chef.

Asui beams at the sight of her friends enjoying her cooking, and they all linger around in conversation even after their plates are cleared. The first to initiate departure is Iida, suggesting everyone get a good night’s rest before washing his dish and returning to his room. Kaminari, Kirishima, and Ashido verbally defy the warning with plans to have a movie marathon to celebrate their first night of break, and they extend the invite to the others.

Uraraka, and Asui agree to stick around for one movie, but Midoriya believes he’s watched enough cinema for one day after his last cry, so he politely declines. Todoroki doesn’t have time to give a real answer before his friends make his decision for him to pack his bags.

They have an early morning ahead of them, but they all find it a little difficult to sleep.

The sun almost couldn’t rise soon enough,

[thisdaynews]

Threat of budget disaster rises amid discord in both parties

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/threat-of-budget-disaster-rises-amid-discord-in-both-parties/

Threat of budget disaster rises amid discord in both parties

Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin has told congressional leaders that the debt ceiling may need to be raised by mid-September. | Mark Wilson/Getty Images

congress

The consequences are dire if Trump and congressional leaders fail to reach a deal this fall.

Washington is deadlocked ahead of a series of fiscal deadlines, time is growing scarce and it’s only going to get harder to avoid a debacle.

Congressional leaders and the Trump administration have so far tried in vain to reach a deal that would avoid stiff budget cuts, a government shutdown and debt default in September. And now ugly splits in both parties are threatening to complicate the talks.

Story Continued Below

President Donald Trump has always been a mercurial partner for GOP leaders, and Senate Republicans are less than thrilled Trump has deputized conservative hard-liners to negotiate. An initial proposal from some administration officials to freeze federal funding for a year has already drawn blowback from GOP senators eager to boost defense spending amid tensions with Iran.

Meanwhile, Democratic divisions are spiking, with liberal House Democrats furious with their centrist colleagues and Senate Democrats for embracing a border spending package negotiated with Senate Republicans.

Democrats’ biggest strength in the Trump era has been their solidarity, with the party showing impressive unity during the 35-day shutdown to deny Trump his border wall money. Whether Democrats can repeat that feat is now in doubt — a relief to Republicans who have spent much of Trump’s presidency cleaved themselves.

“For the most part, we’ll keep Republicans on board,” said Sen. Thom Tillis (R-N.C.) in an interview. “But I think the real problem is the divisions in the Democratic conference right now.”

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) countered that Democratic and Republican congressional leaders “could come up with a good budget agreement as long as President Trump stays out of the way. But he and Mr. [Mick] Mulvaney repeatedly mess things up with their ideological demands.”

Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin has told congressional leaders that the debt ceiling may need to be raised by mid-September, according to a source with direct knowledge; that would potentially decouple the debt limit from funding the government, which has a Sept. 30 deadline. Add in a long August recess, and the Senate is scheduled to be in session seven weeks and the House just six before the end of September.

At the moment, there’s no meeting on the books for this month between the top congressional leaders and the Trump administration. And partisan tensions are likely only to crank up with special counsel Robert Mueller’s testimony in mid-July. It adds up to a dicey situation for those eager to avoid economic and political disaster.

Some lawmakers say the crisis will need to build in order to force action.

“I’ve been through this dance previously,” said Rep. Mark Pocan, co-chair of the Congressional Progressive Caucus. “I don’t even think we’re at the point even yet [to reach a deal]. It’s not going to be a July conversation.”

The Trump administration has taken a fallback position of one year of funding at current levels to avoid a shutdown and the blunt budget cuts of a sequester that would slash defense spending by $71 billion and domestic spending by $55 billion.

But Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) says that’s “almost as bad as the sequester” since it wouldn’t allow military spending decisions to be updated. He’s resisted moving forward with Senate spending bills until there’s a bipartisan deal with House Democrats and the president.

“I’ve been disappointed that we have not been able to reach an agreement,” McConnell said last week at a news conference. “The two key players in a caps deal are a speaker and the president. If they can agree how much we can spend, then we’re not spinning our wheels.”

Tillis joined 14 other GOP senators in a letter to the Trump administration budget negotiators this week arguing against a continuing resolution, saying it “must be avoided.” The North Carolina senator added in an interview that Congress should consider canceling some of the August recess if the House and Senate can’t come to terms on a two-year budget deal that raises the spending caps.

Whether House Democrats will be looking to spend more time together is an open question after their caucus was nearly ripped apart over the aid package to address the surge of migrants at the border. Progressives, including Pocan, lashed out at moderate Democrats who pressured Speaker Nancy Pelosi to pass the bipartisan Senate bill, which didn’t have some of the protections for migrant children that liberals were demanding.

Pocan went so far as to publicly declare some moderates had placed themselves in the “child abuse caucus,” prompting two Democratic freshmen to confront him in a heated conversation on the House floor.

Liberal members left the Capitol for the holiday recess vowing they would not be pushed aside during fall spending negotiations and would fight even harder for migrant protections and stricter controls on how the Trump administration can spend money at the border.

Many Democrats have grown only more incensed in the days that followed as additional details trickled out about a private Facebook group in which thousands of current and former border agents mocked migrants — including a father and young daughter who died trying to cross the Rio Grande — and made several sexually explicit comments about Democratic members of Congress.

A devastating inspector general report further detailed how migrants were being forced to live in squalor and unsafe conditions, including adults stuffed in “standing room” only cells for a week and children who weren’t allowed access to showers or hot meals for days.

“This administration is pouring gasoline on this whole border fire on purpose for their own political goals, which is absolutely sick,” said Rep. Marc Veasey (D-Texas), who toured border facilities with several other House Democrats earlier this week.

Since then, some of the more outspoken progressives, including Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) have repeatedly chided their colleagues on Twitter for handing over billions of dollars to the Trump administration without additional safeguards. She said it “didn’t fix the problem, just funded abuse.”

The simmering dispute sets up a potential powder keg for Pelosi — who must placate the progressives in her caucus or risk a rebellion while she negotiates a deal that is also palatable to moderate Democrats and Republicans.

McConnell has successfully impressed upon the president the importance of a two-year budget deal and raising the debt ceiling. The Kentucky Republican helped organize two earlier budget meetings with Pelosi, Schumer and House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy as well as administration officials.

But those sessions produced little, with the parties stalemating over domestic spending and administration officials then proposing to essentially give up and freeze spending levels to avoid a shutdown.

“Democrats killed negotiations because they refused to move a single dollar off their $2 trillion spending hike,” said a senior administration official, referring to House Democrats’ preferred spending plans. “After the House infighting fiasco over the border supplemental, it’s unclear if Pelosi could even get a compromise through her caucus. No one wants a long term CR, but if the alternative is a progressive caucus forcing a shutdown, it’s hard to imagine a different outcome.”

Sarah Ferris contributed to this report.

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[bobateatree]

I haven’t written here in a long time. This is long and sad. I’ve definitely been called “Eeyore” before, so read with caution. Also, triggers and such.

It’s almost midnight on a Saturday and I’ve been tired for at least four hours. I don’t want to go to sleep. I’m too young to be tired on a night like this.

After I grabbed drive-thru breakfast with Tim this morning, I went home and showered before my OB/GYN appointment. My IUD looks normal. It’s such a relief. When I got home, I watched a block of Will & Grace on TV before mowing the lawn. I broke something in our backyard but my mom fixed it with duct tape (bless). I took another shower and now I’m here on my computer, where I’ve been the past few hours.

Tim is going to a kegger with his friends tonight where they’ve requested he play Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix on the guitar (”just like old times, they said”). After giving me an outline of all the possible scenarios (who will be there, how long he’ll be staying there, if he’ll stay the night, the possible fist fight that someone will start, etc.), I’ve opted to just wait for a text that will tell me if it’s worth coming. I’m already so sleepy, so even if I get a green light, I think I’ll have passed out at that point.

The irony is so thick. I have such bad FOMO for things like these (i.e., not partying enough at this time in my life), that when an opportunity finally comes, I’m just too tired.

I’ve felt lots of lows before: the stressed from school lows, the stressed from my dad leaving lows, the stressed from finishing college and becoming an adult lows. But this is unlike anything I’ve ever really felt before. It’s so...real? Not that the other ones haven’t been real, but this one is so close and tight and it just follows me constantly. The other lows I’ve been able to successfully hide, block, and/or numb. Not this time around. Oh, no.

So a lot of things have happened within the past calendar year. It’s been almost a full seven months since things have blown up, but have I recovered in those seven months? Absolutely not. Strap in!

Let’s start with my brother (this will be all about him, by the way; if he ever finds this blog, hi!). He started dating this girl, and then he moved her in without directly asking my mother if it was okay that some person he just began to date lived in her own house without ever really leaving. As soon as I noticed what was happening, I became extremely resentful and angry. I hope you can tell where this will be going. This began toward the end of 2015.

After a few months of this girl not leaving to ever go to her parent’s home (which is a long and harrowing 15 minutes away), only going there to move more of her things into my home, I became even more angry. Every time I tried to bring this up in conversation with my brother, he would talk over me, denounce me, belittle me--things older brothers love to do to their little sisters, at least that’s what mine does. It was a losing battle for me. My mother said she didn’t care, but I knew she did.

Oh, did I mention that my brother’s girlfriend never bothered paying rent when she lived in my home for a full year? Now’s a good time to mention that.

Throughout 2016, I was out of the house as much as I could possibly be. I did a lot of cool things, the majority of them away from home. I went to beer fests, concerts, musicals, and overall spent a lot of time in the city. I even took all four of us downtown one day when it was my brother’s birthday. It was a great time. I even got kicked out of a bar celebrating my own birthday, which was amazing and something I never want to do again.

Anyway. I was a 23 year old doing 23 year old things. Not really doing any harm, right?

Well, here’s the thing. My brother smoked weed 24/7, and eventually quit his job to do just that. All him and his girlfriend did was smoke weed and watch cartoons all day while my mom and I went to our full time jobs. At this point, toward the end of 2016, neither my brother nor his girlfriend were working (for reference, my brother is in his mid-30′s while his girlfriend is in her late 30′s). As a 23 year old, this angered me even more. But when I’m angry, I sit quietly and boil.

This is where shit hit the fan. My brother became manic around the 2016 holidays and would never, ever stop talking, rarely sleep, and had all these crazy get rich quick schemes because hard work is for people who don’t want to stop smoking weed and watch cartoons all day. And on Christmas Day, I said I wanted to kill myself because he pointed out that nothing I could do would make our mom happy (she’s been struggling in every way--mentally, emotionally, financially--ever since my dad left).

He proceeded to viciously scream at me and threaten to call the cops. I ran to the bathroom crying. He was going to his girlfriend’s family’s get together that day while I was bringing Tim to my family’s. He ignored me the rest of the day. When I had left for the evening, I slammed the door in his face.

Cue beginning of 2017. The manic episode continues for my brother. I would be followed around, relentlessly bullied, screamed at, etc. His lack of filter was piercing. In his mind, by obsessively bullying me to spend time with him, he thought he was helping me. I was actively avoiding him and his girlfriend because I didn’t want to be around 30-something potheads. He took notice and became even angrier with me. I later realized he was trying to control me, and responded badly when he couldn’t do that.

Also--by this time, I loaned him a lot of money so he could buy a car. I also loaned his girlfriend money for her bills. Surprise, surprise: my brother did not end up buying a car; he told me all the money went to fixing his girlfriend’s piece of shit car (he told me a lot of things he did with money I loaned him up to this point; looking back, I know he was clever in saying the money I let him borrow always went to helping someone else, instead of drugs, where it actually went).

Did I make a mistake loaning two shameless potheads lots of cash? Absolutely. Did I do my best to give them the benefit of the doubt because I tried to see the best in people? Yes. Because of this, will I ever loan people money again? Probably not, and that sucks.

So by early 2017, I was out a thousand dollars by two people living in my home who were essentially being irresponsible teenagers masquerading as 30-somethings with a purpose in life. Things were getting so bad at home that I looked forward to going to work every day because no one would be following me around, screaming at me, and/or asking me for money with a new creative excuse every time.

My brother would also make sure to relentlessly scream at my mother for hours at a time, for no reason at all. My mom once kicked him and his girlfriend out one evening for one of these instances, and his girlfriend started crying in her car because she was so hungry. I mean, all she wanted to do was eat dinner while her boyfriend was obsessively screaming in his own mother’s face. What was the problem? (I unfortunately was not home this evening, my mom called me and told me about it after those two were finally out of the house).

When my brother finally picked up that I didn’t want to be around him at all, he once aggressively wondered why I didn’t want to do drugs with him and why I didn’t like him anymore. This was on our way to a family party. I did not want to talk about it. (Also, while being super aggressive, he asked me why I acted like he was always attacking me. Well, JEEZ, I don’t know! I said I didn’t like being forced into conversation which was his favorite fucking thing to do to everyone around him).

And then, the inevitable happened. After all the screaming, the yelling, the aggression, the drug use, the disrespect, the lack of filter--my mom had enough. She finally kicked out my brother and his girlfriend. The day they were moving out, they tormented my mother the entire day while I was at work. They made her life hell for a full eleven hours.

After my mom could access a phone, she told me what was happening in real time. I have never been more angry in my entire life. My inner pot of hot boiling water exploded. I came home and screamed in my brother’s and his girlfriend’s faces. He responded by shoving me to the ground.

Drug addicts hate when you treat them the same way they’ve been treating you.

I think it’s only fair to point out that I wasn’t an angel; I was definitely mean at times. When my brother’s girlfriend would walk into the kitchen, I would glare at her when I thought she couldn’t see me (apparently she could?). When she tried talking to me, I wouldn’t look her in the eye. When I asked her to stop touching my things when she would be sitting inside my home when I was at work (she would share pictures on Facebook of my living room, for example, with items rearranged because aesthetic? I don’t, know, it was stupid just like she is), I could tell she didn’t like that.  But I didn’t like that some stranger was living in my home, not paying rent, while I was working extra hard specifically to not be in this space she got to enjoy as a luxury. She even coaxed a 23 year old into loaning her money for her bills, as previously mentioned. She was living the dream!

There’s a lot that happened after the initial move out. It was a hot mess of them couch surfing at friend’s homes (who I brought up to speed as fast as I could; needless to say, the kindness from their friends dried up quickly) and eventually ending up in a motel (and coming back to my home, multiple times, unannounced, begging for money to stay a couple more nights there), and that’s where the begging ended. At one point they returned my mom’s stolen cell phone, which was the last “nice” thing they did.

It’s finally ended with my brother and his girlfriend blocking both me and my mom on Facebook. After this, my brother’s friends told me that he wrote a super long status about how awful me and my mom are. I wish I could’ve seen some screenshots.

Drug addicts love to rationalize in opposites.

I haven’t seen or heard from either of these people in...going on seven months. I honestly don’t know where they are or what they’re up to. I also haven’t seen my dad in four years. I hate how life has shown me that family can be so awful. Family is supposed to be the group of people in your life that’s not supposed to treat you this way.

At this point, I began to think of how my future wedding will look. Family is supposed to love you, right? But how can your family love you if...

I still need to make an appointment for a therapist because I still want to kill myself sometimes. Just when I thought I couldn’t handle more negativity, harassment, and abuse--bam! More shows up.

I just needed to get this all out, at least through this medium. Maybe if it’s all down, I’ll stop constantly thinking about these things in my mind when I should be focusing on the present. Because on the bright side, I’m no longer being lied to or screamed at by drug addicts who’ve said they love me, but didn’t actually mean it. And that’s something to be thankful for.

[unlikelywallflower]

on the futility of intellectual knowing

(Continuing to catch up with the posts I wrote but never shared: this one was written early January 2019.)

It was prudent of me to wonder how I was going to make it through that week and a half after our first attempt; I would have done well to turn that wonder into some planning (not that I’m sure that would have helped). I swore I could smell things more strongly than before. I swore I was more tired than usual. Everything became a sign of potentially being knocked up. I had several nights of waking up at 4am and my body deciding it was just done with sleep for the night. Even knowing that most pregnancy tests would not be valid until at least 10 days after ovulation (since it takes about 7-10 days for an embryo to implant in the uterus, and hormones go up to detectable levels from there), I took a test on the 8th or 9th day because I just couldn’t stand it anymore. 

It was negative, as were the tests I took on days 10-12 (and I don’t mean only one per day). By the time my period arrived to confirm what I already knew, I was dramatically sad. There was a lot of crying involved, and, it was one of the many times in my life I have been grateful for all of my tools, as I managed to keep myself from spiralling completely out of control. I managed to catch the stories as they came up (mostly the story that this meant that I would never be able to get pregnant) and see them for what they were. I obviously knew, intellectually, that this process can take a while, and that very few people at this age get preggers on their first try, but knowing intellectually, as usual, was useless.

In between the first and second round, I took PSD2 home with me for my annual extended family Chanukah party (a.k.a. Latkefest!), at which he was a shining star, to no one’s surprise. My mom loved him. The next day, I got to go to his family Christmas party, which was both overwhelming and so great. On the way there, we took a little detour to visit the house and town he grew up in. I was so moved to get to see this part of his life, and so happy to get to deepen my relationship with him.

On the second round, I swung hard the other way: whereas with the first attempt, I had made it almost ceremonial, with my crystals and prayers and guided fertility meditations and visualizations, this time, I tried very hard (and surprisingly successfully) to not think about it more than I had to. I managed to keep the symptom-guessing to a minimum (though I was fairly sure that the mild cramping starting on the 8th day post-ovulation was a good sign). I managed to only have one night of too little sleep (the night before I could take the first test). I even managed not to freak out when the test was negative, or the one after that, or the one after that, or even when my period came. I was sad, yes, but at this point it felt like I had dug in for what could be a long journey. The days after, though, made me wonder: I went into a spiral of random sobbing, not triggered by anything to do with thinking about pregnancy, but more often by work stressors. It was so intense that it reminded me of coming down off the hormones after my egg retrieval surgery last summer, which was basically a mini-menopause of an estrogen crash. Maybe it was lingering sadness and/or disappointment that I just hadn’t dealt with; maybe it was a chemical pregnancy; maybe I was just exhausted after a long year. I’ll never know, but thankfully, it only lasted about a week and then I crawled out of it.

The third time, I tried to find a middle ground: I prayed, and I visualized, and I meditated, but I didn’t get obsessive about it. I promised myself I would not take a pregnancy test unless my period did not arrive by the expected date. Most of all, I promised myself I would ride the wave of the relaxing I did over the holidays and continue to practice equanimity.

I won’t pretend it was all peace and love, though; at some point, while googling something in the week after Attempt #3 (it may or may not have been whether it’s safe to have orgasms around the time of implementation), I somehow happened upon the website of a TCM practitioner whose practice is focused on fertility. In addition to a list of fertility superfoods and videos of acupressure points, she had some tips, including the tip that intense exercise, particularly weightlifting, is not great for fertility, since it puts “downward pressure” on the uterus, and for fertility, we want to promote the opposite. Also, apparently people who are trying to get pregnant should avoid excessive sweating. I freaked out at this, since weighlifting (specifically metabolic conditioning) is my primary form of exercise, and exercise is my primary form of self-regulation. I was so freaked out that I stopped exercising altogether, save for long walks, yoga, and swimming (all of which are apparently okay). I decided I could handle this until I saw my own TCM practitioner, whom I trust implicitly (my work with her has done more than anything else to get my chronic hives condition under control). She, thank goodness, was a voice of reason and moderation: from her POV, moderate exercise of varying modalities is fine. So, I won’t be doing intense quite as intense MetCon workouts as I have been, but at least I can get back to the gym.

To close out 2018, I did a ritual of writing down all of the major things that happened in each month of the year for me, then meditated on letting go of each thing, one month at a time. As I did this, I kept welling up in gratitude for the love, community, growth, guidance, and support that the year was so full of. There were some hard times, and there were also the things and the people that kept me buoyant and resilient.

Last night, at our very intimate Russian NYE dinner party (one of my closest friends is Russian, so we celebrate every NYE Russian-style, which involves somewhat of a feast and a gift exchange), my community and I closed out the year by saying what we were proud of, what we were grateful for, and what we were looking forward to. I am proud of the growth I did last year, of buying my first home (!), and of making the tough choices and taking action toward fulfilling what I truly want in my life. I am so deeply grateful for my community, for my spiritual practice, and for my burgeoning relationship with PSD2, with whom I’ve gotten so much closer over these last few months of trying to make a human.

Two more updates:

PSD1: Sometime in between rounds 1 and 2, I met up with PSD1. I was nervous as hell to tell him that PSD2 and I had already started trying, and just prayed that he would be as understanding as he’d said he would be. God bless the man: he was all of that and then some. He’d been on his own journey since we’d last talked, leading him to the realization that he actually does want to be a parent, and was grateful to have had that particular box opened up for him through our conversations. I’m so grateful that we both came away from the whole ordeal with more love and respect for each other than we’d ever had before, and a renewed connection.

The Roomie: He started coming to Choir!Choir!Choir! with me on the regular, and when we’d go out for food afterward (food which I was neither hungry for nor awake enough to be eating, but it meant spending time one-on-one with him), we had some pretty real conversations. Conversations in which I discovered that a) I may not be at all what he’s looking for, and b) he may not be ready for a relationship at all right now. I am, however, proud to say that I told him I have a crush on him; I figured I had nothing to lose. He stepped right over that little nugget and responded to everything else I’d said. So, that crush has boiled down to a low simmer for the time being, but has not died yet; the fact that he continues to flirt with me is all the flame it needs for now…

[riichardwilson]

11 Ways to Overcome Fear During a Crisis

July 30, 2020 12 min read

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

When President Franklin Delano Roosevelt said, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself,” he wasn’t just making a catchy statement to gin up support for his policies. He was speaking to a nation struggling with what was just the beginning of what we now know as the Great Depression. The statement is not completely true since there are plenty of other things to fear, including sharks, taxes and global pandemics. But this much is an absolute fact — especially for entrepreneurs — fear can lead to unwise decisions, which can bring about the very negative consequences we wish to avoid. There is indeed much to fear about fear itself. Here are 11 ways to overcome fear during the current crisis or the next one you experience.

1. Name the fear

When faced with a crisis and paralyzing fear, the most difficult obstacle in your path may be admitting you are afraid. It’s only once we recognize the reality of the situation that we can deal with it.

One way to better identify your fear is to imagine the worst that can happen. In her New York Times bestseller Insight, author Tasha Eurich shares a recommendation made by decision psychologist Gary Klein, who advocates a “pre-mortem” for major decisions. The idea is to imagine yourself one year in the future and that everything has gone wrong. Your plans are a total disaster. Then write what that would look like. You might find out the worst that can happen isn’t all that bad, or that you can identify steps to avoid the pitfalls that would lead to disaster.

In Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl quoted Spinoza’s Ethics, which said: “Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.” Or to put it another way, Mr. Rogers said, “Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.” 

Dr. Benjamin Hardy, an organizational psychologist and the author of Personality Isn’t Permanent, shared these quotes with me and then told me, “The key to overcoming fear is giving it form.” Hardy says this can be done through journaling and open conversation. “Daily journaling about how you’re feeling, in addition to sharing your feelings with key people in your life, make your emotions manageable.”

Hardy says, “Does this take courage? Absolutely. But it’s worth it. It’s worth not being bogged down by fear and needless suffering. When you are open and honest as a person, life becomes far more manageable. You stop needlessly suffering internally about unfulfilled dreams or former hurts. You move forward. And that’s the freaking key! Moving forward! Moving forward as powerfully and authentically as possible.”

Related: 8 Powerful Phrases Leaders Need to Say in a Time of Crisis

2. Use fear to fuel your courage

The Japanese poet Kenji Miyazawa said, “We must embrace pain and consume it for fuel on our journey.” During a crisis, you may hear others say, “Nobody can get funded right now,” or “It’s time to survive, forget about growth.” Instead, entrepreneurs like Bryan Brandenburg, founder and chief scientist of visualization company Zenerchi, says, “That’s when I go into warrior mode. Don’t follow the conventional wisdom. It comes from people who are afraid to act or are acting from a place of fear. Instead, look for the opportunities caused by others’ fear.” Or, as Warren Buffet says about how to invest successfully, “Be fearful when others are greedy and be greedy only when others are fearful.”

3. Remember the past

When faced with a worrying future, it often pays to think about how we overcame challenges in the past. When thinking of what could be lost, Melinda Dransfield, VP of sales performance elevation for Prudential Retirement, asks, “Have I lost this or something like it before? How did I deal with it before?” and then reminds herself, “I have been through hard things before.”

I started my business in 1999, just before the dot-com bubble burst. Less than two years later, the economy went into another downturn after the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Then there was the 2008 real estate crisis. Now, whenever the business faces difficult circumstances, I tell myself, “You’ve been here before,” and even if I’m not sure exactly how, I know we’ll get through it.

4. Think past the crisis

Imagining a terrible future can help us avoid that future, but what if things work out great? In an April 2020 article in Harvard Business Review, Mark W. Johnson and Josh Suskewicz share perspectives from their book Lead from the Future. They say that though we must take care of the here and now, we can’t lose sight of the bigger picture. Whatever the future holds, they say, “You need to begin preparing for it now. And to do that right, you need to have a longer-term vision of what you aspire to become in five or even 10 years — a north star that will focus and help shape your thinking about the short- and mid-term.”

I’m reminded of how I learned to mow straight lines across a large lawn by focusing on a point in the distance, rather than the ground in front of me. Even if I ran into bumps along the way, as long as I kept my eye on that point, when I finished I could look back and see a straight path. Take care of the short term, but keep an eye on what’s to come or you’ll find it difficult to avoid getting pulled in multiple directions.

Related: You Can’t Do Everything, and If You Try to You’ll Do Even Less

5. Invest in “alive time”

Your business may not be in danger of going under, but perhaps you find yourself with a lot of spare time. Ryan Holiday, author of multiple bestselling books like The Obstacle Is the Way and Ego Is the Enemy, recalls advice he got about such times from another bestselling author, Robert Green (The 48 Laws of Power). “He told me there are two types of time: alive time and dead time,” Holiday wrote in a recent blog post. “One is when you sit around, when you wait until things happen to you. The other is when you are in control, when you make every second count, when you are learning and improving and growing.”

Could you use the extra time your business has to retool your systems, train your team, or build new products and services?

6. Build your fear muscle

Think of fear like gravity: With the proper equipment, it can help you become stronger. Noah Kagan, “Chief Sumo” at AppSumo.com, likes “the coffee challenge,” in which you ask for 10 percent off your next purchase. Awkward? Difficult? Scary? That’s the point. Do it repeatedly and it will get easier, not because the task itself is any easier, but because you’ve become stronger.

Jia Jiang took this to the ultimate level when he decided to intentionally get rejected 100 times in 100 days. He was inspired after his first attempt at entrepreneurship ended in rejection, leaving Jia emotionally crushed. However, after he recognized his fear of rejection was harming him more than the actual rejection, he decided to embrace rejection in order to become more comfortable with it. His experiences not only helped him become almost immune to rejection but also led to a TED talk on rejection that has been viewed over 6 million times and the bestselling book Rejection Proof.

7. Reevaluate what makes you unique

In a crisis, it’s easy to lose focus on your business and why it exists and instead get trapped into concerns about next week’s payroll. Of course, short-term concerns are important, but if we focus on them too much we may miss opportunities. “Get very clear on your point of view,” advises Steve Watt,  VP of marketing at Grapevine6. “Figure out why (and for whom) your approach offers a way forward in difficult times.” You may have a new customer segment that suddenly cares about your company’s offering in a way they didn’t before. 

That’s what happened to Zoom, the video conferencing service, in the early months of 2020. As the Covid-19 virus sent tens of millions of students and workers home, Zoom found itself perfectly positioned to help them stay connected. Through outreach (and a healthy dose of word of mouth) Zoom grew from 10 million to daily users in December 2019 to over 300 million daily users by April 2020. 

In a crisis, you can combat fear as you find your new niche and let others know how you can solve their problems.

Related: How Entrepreneurs Can Find Clarity in Uncertain Times

8. Identify what you can — and can’t — control

“Fear isn’t bad. It’s the crippling uncertainty that comes with it that eats at us,” says Zachary Zimmerman, senior account manager at marketing agency agency Number Six. To combat that uncertainty, Zimmerman sorts out which aspects of a challenge he has control over and which he doesn’t. This reduces the uncertainty and allows him to focus on what he can change without wasting time on what he can’t.

9. See fear positively

Fear isn’t all bad — sometimes fear keeps us safe from real harm. Fear can also give us motivation. “Fear can be a very positive emotion when it sparks in us the behavior required to overcome, and when we are confident in where we are going,” says Andy Cindrich, senior consultant at FranklinCovey.

10. Find the opportunity

Marcus Sheridan’s experience shows why it’s so important to see every moment, even a crisis, as an opportunity. In 2008, the real estate crisis hit, and Sheridan was in the swimming pool business. Despite occupying a market in which many people were worried about losing their homes (not buying new pools), Sheridan saw that pool builders weren’t using the internet to answer buyers’ questions. He started answering those questions online, and his company’s website became the Wikipedia of swimming pool information. Now his company is the fastest growing fiberglass swimming pool manufacturer in the world. 

“When Covid-19 hit and I realized that it was going to get ugly, once again my thoughts immediately shifted,” Sheridan says. “I told myself, ‘Marcus, commit now to find the opportunity in this moment.’”

In just a few months, Sheridan’s company introduced a virtual sales methodology to its team of dealers all over the country and experienced tremendous success. Despite the pandemic-related economic downturn, in April 2020 Sheridan’s company broke every sales record it has ever had.

Related: How Three Different Tech Companies Are Tackling the Common Fight Against Coronavirus

11. Don’t give up

As a senior sales executive, Hunter Sebresos was present for a meeting in which investors were preparing to shut down the company he was working for. However, he knew their customers had a need, so rather than throwing up his hands and trying to find a new job, he came up with a new business model on the spot, pitched it to the investors right then and there, and won funding to create Bacon, a mobile app that allows companies to post details about their temporary staffing jobs straight from their phones and quickly fill positions, rather than spending days or weeks with a staffing or temp agency. 

Your company may be on the brink, but is there a way to pivot that gives you a second chance?

There is always hope

No matter how bad things get, there’s always hope for a better future. Even at the height of the Great Depression, the unemployment rate was 24.9 percent — alarming, but it means that 75.1 percent were still employed. Many of the greatest companies of all time were founded during times of great economic challenges. A short list includes Procter & Gamble, IBM, General Electric, General Motors, FedEx, Hyatt, IHOP, Disney, HP, Microsoft, Burger King, CNN and Apple (twice, first during the downturn in 1975, and then when it was resurrected from near-death during the dot-com crash of 2001).

There may be a global crisis right now, and there are certainly others brewing, but even in a crisis — especially during a crisis — there are people out there who need what you have, and there may be no better time to get busy giving it to them.

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[asafeatherwould]

Did Divorce Get Renewed?

This is a question that is asked so many times. Yes, divorce can be renewed at some point in life. Separation of two people who were once in love is a bit difficult. Irrespective of the prevailing situations, rekindling your love is not rocket science. It can be done.

Anyone entering into marriage may not think that their marriage could one day dissolve. However, when the divorce happens, it prompts the individual to get into a reflection period.

You are forced to evaluate the whole scenario, take a step back and analyse the current adversity. Feeling the same way you felt the first time you met each other can still be in you. Despite your differences that chemistry in most cases still holds, the minute you see your spouse.

In the Bible, the plan of God was married people to stay together loving and cherishing each other for the rest of their life till death do them apart. Among the Christians, marriage is very crucial.

It is believed that God hates divorce and reconciliation is pleasing to Him. Normally what happens when a married couple reconciles, the devil shakes and attacking the marriage again becomes hard for him because you have proved him wrong.

However, there are acceptable situations where divorce is accepted in the Bible like adultery, abandonment and refusing your spouse his or her conjugal rights. Nevertheless, reconciliation should still be sought. There are so many reasons why the married couple would restore back their marriage even after the divorce. In this article I am going to share them with you.

Major reasons why couples would like to rekindle marriage after divorce

● After divorce, there is time for reflection, which dissipates anger.

It becomes easier to reflect on your relationship when you are away from it. Conflicts between couples tend to blindside the two individuals from having a sensible perception regarding their mate. When you separate, after some time you will realize your negative emotions are not as strong as they were when you were together. You will see the role you played in breaking up your family.

When you come back together, there will be a possibility for reconciliation since you’ll have acknowledged what you would have done in the first place to save your marriage.

● Distance makes one to appreciate your spouse’s worth

Sometimes couples may not realize the importance of the other person when they are together. After you separate, you will realize how much your spouse means to you and you will find your heart grow so fond of the person you once loved. You may not feel disconnected like you did when you were in the marriage.

● Your children could be unhappy with you divorcing

Kids are beautiful and they are a source of joy and happiness for couples. They make you think even when you don’t want to. Divorce upends the stability of your children’s world and it becomes very hard for them to bear the pain.

It affects their whole life from their social life, their relationship with others, at school, at home, activities, friendships, holidays, the standard of living and their future marriages. This will make the couple think twice and find themselves reconciling for the sake of their children welfare.

● When you realize that you are still unhappy

People tend to believe if you have been struggling with marriage and get out of it, you will find happiness. I cannot disagree. Maybe in very rare cases. Sometimes after a divorce, most people go through hell than when they were in the marriage.

Numerous research studies show that most divorced couples are unhappier compared to those in marriage. Furthermore, divorce is linked to increase in stress and depression.

● Decreased living standards after going through a divorce

Divorce is quite expensive especially when it comes to children’s custody. In most cases divorce stipulates that asset division is to be 50-50. The involved parties eventually experience financial crisis after the entire process. The most affected with finances are women compared to men after the divorce. Regaining your financial stability after the divorce process can be emotionally draining, thus some couples will opt to remain together to avoid such issues.

● Paradigm shift in one’s conduct

Sometimes a divorce can trigger behavioral change in an individual. This stems mainly from a sense of guilt and remorse. You start to contemplate that maybe your own misdemeanor could have cost you your marriage. You then make an intentional resolution to become a better individual by accepting your weaknesses and improving them. This in itself is a good thing because once you reconcile, your new relationship will become splendid.

You see yourself better than them and you think you cannot make mistakes. Well, a separation makes you evaluate your life and contemplate on what is important. You will admit your faults and work on how to reconcile with your partner. In other words, in order for reconciliation to occur, you must demonstrate a real change of behavior, actions, and attitude.

● Unrealistic expectations in marriage

This is one of the greatest factors which contribute to failed marriages. Couples enter into marriage with unrealistic expectations. In order for a couple to successfully reunite, a couple has to have realistic expectations for themselves, their spouse and the marriage in general.

It is better to start from nothing and work on building your marriage. Do not place any unrealistic goals on your partner. Such unrealistic expectations cause unhappiness and lack of satisfaction in marriage.

A second chance after a divorce?

A divorce brings out an array of emotions and feelings. It is also a tumultuous period in one’s life. You are prone to develop fear of the unknown, wondering if all is lost on that relationship or if there is any hope to salvage it.

Yes, there is hope. It is better to hang on to that thread of hope, rather than to throw in the towel. What matters is your determination and intentions. Become intentional towards rebuilding your relationship. Identify a solid purpose for your union and weed out any relationship spoilers that ruined your marriage in the first place. Try out the following guidelines as you seek to reconcile with your mate.

● Make contact with your ex-spouse as much as possible.

Talk to your partner as many time as possible just like it was when you first met. Allow yourself to feel better with them and give them a chance to prove their loyalty this time. Call, text or email to discuss the things that are important in his or her day.

Show interest in the things that your ex-spouse is involved in. Complement and express how much you’ve missed your ex-spouse. After some courting, you can then ask your ex-spouse on a first date. Treat this first date just as you would if you were going on it with someone you don’t know.

● Be a lifelong learner on how to excel in marriage

In this information era, you cannot lack the resources to educate yourself on how to become a homemaker. Make sure your separation time will teach you how to relate well with yourself and the people around you, so that when you two decide to come together, it won’t be a problem again. When dealing with your ex-spouse, learn ways to deal with upcoming problems.

This will save you from frustration. Learn to be more expressive and an active listener. If it reaches a point you have to compromise on a certain issue, you can do it for the sake of your marriage. This may actually surprise you.

You may find it working for you. If your partner felt unheard or under-appreciated, make a point to listen and appreciate more. Remember you are doing this for your own benefit. Do not do it because you want your spouse to be interested in you again, but rather do it because it is right for both of you.

● Be cautious and take your time

For people who were once in love, it is possible for them to get back together quickly, which can lead them to the very mistake they made the first time round. It is advisable to You better take baby steps, where you are slow but sure.

Take time to explore each other again. Don’t let any negative feelings to over shadow you because it will crush you down again. Take the steps in your relationship slowly and pay attention to exactly what will be happening.

Understand that this is a new beginning but it has history attached to it that needs consideration and resolution. Ignoring what happened in the past and only looking forward may seem like the best way to handle it, but it may end up surprising you later when you discover you still hold on to some of your old feelings.

● Iron out any issues in the marriage

Most divorces stem from poor or lack of communication skills among couples. Take the time to build on effective ways of communicating with your ex-spouse. This will build trust and in the long run, the two of you will be able to connect once again. Use that time to air out any issues in your relationship.

You don’t want to repeat the same patterns as you did in the marriage, or the new relationship will have the same ending as your first marriage did. Be open about what happened to cause the divorce and discuss it with an open mind and heart. Sometimes this can be difficult, but it is the right approach to your marriage.

● Be grateful for your spouse

Everyone feels great and loved when they realize that they are acknowledged for the little efforts they make. The good news is, it’s relatively easy to make the other person feel appreciated. Send a daily email or text thanking your spouse for picking up the laundry or watching the kids when you are away or sleeping.

Ask them about their day and listen. Tell them how great they look in their new suit or new haircut. These things might seem small, but that’s precisely why they’re meaningful.

Everyone wants to feel that what they do matters. Communicate what you feel about them that you love, do not assume they will know by your action. A word of mouth is much better than your actions.

● Stop focusing on the past. Focus on the future

The greatest mistake you will ever do is to keep reminding your spouse how much they failed you at some point in life. If you do that your marriage will be doomed and getting back to each other becomes more difficult. If your spouse has made amends for hurting you, learn to forgive and move on together in peace. This becomes easier for you to connect with them than you ever did before. Be committed to helping your renewed marriage work and focus on your future together.

● Ensure you are on the same page.

Marriage is a two way traffic. If you and your spouse feel connected to each other even after divorce, it’s better you work on your reconciliation. Make sure, first of all, that this is really what both of you want. Be sure that it isn’t just because you are lonely, or distant, or romanticizing the good parts of your marriage and ignoring the bad? Consider that if it didn’t work out last time, what will make it work out this time?

At the end of the day, it is only you who is able to know the reasons why you desire to rekindle your relationship. Always be true to who you are and take the next leap into the future. Re-evaluate your expectations Take a clear look at your expectations of marriage and whether they are realistic. See whether your motive is right about your marriage. Make very clear decision and know exactly what to expect from your partner otherwise, you will be hurt again.

Understand that no one is perfect including yourself. Once in a while mistakes will happen so better know how to handle them. If your spouse is not able to meet all your expectations, leave a room for adjustment.

● Attend family events together

Understand this event is not about you or your spouse’s marriage. It is for an external circumstance which you cannot avoid dealing with. Try to approach it in the most knowledgeable way ever.

Comfort one another in times of hardship and carry each other’s burdens as serious as you would do to yours. Attending a family event together would prove your love for each other to your people and it would change their mind set on what they think of your spouse.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

When you need legal help with a divorce in Utah, please call Ascent Law LLC at (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Does It Matter Who Files For Divorce First In Utah?

What Is A Hardship Loan Modification?

Salt lake Bankruptcy Lawyer

Best West Valley City Utah Accident Lawyer

Utah DUI Defense

Can You Withdraw Money From a Deceased Person’s Account?

For updates on the novel corona virus, click here

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Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/did-divorce-get-renewed/

[melissawalker01]

Did Divorce Get Renewed?

This is a question that is asked so many times. Yes, divorce can be renewed at some point in life. Separation of two people who were once in love is a bit difficult. Irrespective of the prevailing situations, rekindling your love is not rocket science. It can be done.

Anyone entering into marriage may not think that their marriage could one day dissolve. However, when the divorce happens, it prompts the individual to get into a reflection period.

You are forced to evaluate the whole scenario, take a step back and analyse the current adversity. Feeling the same way you felt the first time you met each other can still be in you. Despite your differences that chemistry in most cases still holds, the minute you see your spouse.

In the Bible, the plan of God was married people to stay together loving and cherishing each other for the rest of their life till death do them apart. Among the Christians, marriage is very crucial.

It is believed that God hates divorce and reconciliation is pleasing to Him. Normally what happens when a married couple reconciles, the devil shakes and attacking the marriage again becomes hard for him because you have proved him wrong.

However, there are acceptable situations where divorce is accepted in the Bible like adultery, abandonment and refusing your spouse his or her conjugal rights. Nevertheless, reconciliation should still be sought. There are so many reasons why the married couple would restore back their marriage even after the divorce. In this article I am going to share them with you.

Major reasons why couples would like to rekindle marriage after divorce

● After divorce, there is time for reflection, which dissipates anger.

It becomes easier to reflect on your relationship when you are away from it. Conflicts between couples tend to blindside the two individuals from having a sensible perception regarding their mate. When you separate, after some time you will realize your negative emotions are not as strong as they were when you were together. You will see the role you played in breaking up your family.

When you come back together, there will be a possibility for reconciliation since you’ll have acknowledged what you would have done in the first place to save your marriage.

● Distance makes one to appreciate your spouse’s worth

Sometimes couples may not realize the importance of the other person when they are together. After you separate, you will realize how much your spouse means to you and you will find your heart grow so fond of the person you once loved. You may not feel disconnected like you did when you were in the marriage.

● Your children could be unhappy with you divorcing

Kids are beautiful and they are a source of joy and happiness for couples. They make you think even when you don’t want to. Divorce upends the stability of your children’s world and it becomes very hard for them to bear the pain.

It affects their whole life from their social life, their relationship with others, at school, at home, activities, friendships, holidays, the standard of living and their future marriages. This will make the couple think twice and find themselves reconciling for the sake of their children welfare.

● When you realize that you are still unhappy

People tend to believe if you have been struggling with marriage and get out of it, you will find happiness. I cannot disagree. Maybe in very rare cases. Sometimes after a divorce, most people go through hell than when they were in the marriage.

Numerous research studies show that most divorced couples are unhappier compared to those in marriage. Furthermore, divorce is linked to increase in stress and depression.

● Decreased living standards after going through a divorce

Divorce is quite expensive especially when it comes to children’s custody. In most cases divorce stipulates that asset division is to be 50-50. The involved parties eventually experience financial crisis after the entire process. The most affected with finances are women compared to men after the divorce. Regaining your financial stability after the divorce process can be emotionally draining, thus some couples will opt to remain together to avoid such issues.

● Paradigm shift in one’s conduct

Sometimes a divorce can trigger behavioral change in an individual. This stems mainly from a sense of guilt and remorse. You start to contemplate that maybe your own misdemeanor could have cost you your marriage. You then make an intentional resolution to become a better individual by accepting your weaknesses and improving them. This in itself is a good thing because once you reconcile, your new relationship will become splendid.

You see yourself better than them and you think you cannot make mistakes. Well, a separation makes you evaluate your life and contemplate on what is important. You will admit your faults and work on how to reconcile with your partner. In other words, in order for reconciliation to occur, you must demonstrate a real change of behavior, actions, and attitude.

● Unrealistic expectations in marriage

This is one of the greatest factors which contribute to failed marriages. Couples enter into marriage with unrealistic expectations. In order for a couple to successfully reunite, a couple has to have realistic expectations for themselves, their spouse and the marriage in general.

It is better to start from nothing and work on building your marriage. Do not place any unrealistic goals on your partner. Such unrealistic expectations cause unhappiness and lack of satisfaction in marriage.

A second chance after a divorce?

A divorce brings out an array of emotions and feelings. It is also a tumultuous period in one’s life. You are prone to develop fear of the unknown, wondering if all is lost on that relationship or if there is any hope to salvage it.

Yes, there is hope. It is better to hang on to that thread of hope, rather than to throw in the towel. What matters is your determination and intentions. Become intentional towards rebuilding your relationship. Identify a solid purpose for your union and weed out any relationship spoilers that ruined your marriage in the first place. Try out the following guidelines as you seek to reconcile with your mate.

● Make contact with your ex-spouse as much as possible.

Talk to your partner as many time as possible just like it was when you first met. Allow yourself to feel better with them and give them a chance to prove their loyalty this time. Call, text or email to discuss the things that are important in his or her day.

Show interest in the things that your ex-spouse is involved in. Complement and express how much you’ve missed your ex-spouse. After some courting, you can then ask your ex-spouse on a first date. Treat this first date just as you would if you were going on it with someone you don’t know.

● Be a lifelong learner on how to excel in marriage

In this information era, you cannot lack the resources to educate yourself on how to become a homemaker. Make sure your separation time will teach you how to relate well with yourself and the people around you, so that when you two decide to come together, it won’t be a problem again. When dealing with your ex-spouse, learn ways to deal with upcoming problems.

This will save you from frustration. Learn to be more expressive and an active listener. If it reaches a point you have to compromise on a certain issue, you can do it for the sake of your marriage. This may actually surprise you.

You may find it working for you. If your partner felt unheard or under-appreciated, make a point to listen and appreciate more. Remember you are doing this for your own benefit. Do not do it because you want your spouse to be interested in you again, but rather do it because it is right for both of you.

● Be cautious and take your time

For people who were once in love, it is possible for them to get back together quickly, which can lead them to the very mistake they made the first time round. It is advisable to You better take baby steps, where you are slow but sure.

Take time to explore each other again. Don’t let any negative feelings to over shadow you because it will crush you down again. Take the steps in your relationship slowly and pay attention to exactly what will be happening.

Understand that this is a new beginning but it has history attached to it that needs consideration and resolution. Ignoring what happened in the past and only looking forward may seem like the best way to handle it, but it may end up surprising you later when you discover you still hold on to some of your old feelings.

● Iron out any issues in the marriage

Most divorces stem from poor or lack of communication skills among couples. Take the time to build on effective ways of communicating with your ex-spouse. This will build trust and in the long run, the two of you will be able to connect once again. Use that time to air out any issues in your relationship.

You don’t want to repeat the same patterns as you did in the marriage, or the new relationship will have the same ending as your first marriage did. Be open about what happened to cause the divorce and discuss it with an open mind and heart. Sometimes this can be difficult, but it is the right approach to your marriage.

● Be grateful for your spouse

Everyone feels great and loved when they realize that they are acknowledged for the little efforts they make. The good news is, it’s relatively easy to make the other person feel appreciated. Send a daily email or text thanking your spouse for picking up the laundry or watching the kids when you are away or sleeping.

Ask them about their day and listen. Tell them how great they look in their new suit or new haircut. These things might seem small, but that’s precisely why they’re meaningful.

Everyone wants to feel that what they do matters. Communicate what you feel about them that you love, do not assume they will know by your action. A word of mouth is much better than your actions.

● Stop focusing on the past. Focus on the future

The greatest mistake you will ever do is to keep reminding your spouse how much they failed you at some point in life. If you do that your marriage will be doomed and getting back to each other becomes more difficult. If your spouse has made amends for hurting you, learn to forgive and move on together in peace. This becomes easier for you to connect with them than you ever did before. Be committed to helping your renewed marriage work and focus on your future together.

● Ensure you are on the same page.

Marriage is a two way traffic. If you and your spouse feel connected to each other even after divorce, it’s better you work on your reconciliation. Make sure, first of all, that this is really what both of you want. Be sure that it isn’t just because you are lonely, or distant, or romanticizing the good parts of your marriage and ignoring the bad? Consider that if it didn’t work out last time, what will make it work out this time?

At the end of the day, it is only you who is able to know the reasons why you desire to rekindle your relationship. Always be true to who you are and take the next leap into the future. Re-evaluate your expectations Take a clear look at your expectations of marriage and whether they are realistic. See whether your motive is right about your marriage. Make very clear decision and know exactly what to expect from your partner otherwise, you will be hurt again.

Understand that no one is perfect including yourself. Once in a while mistakes will happen so better know how to handle them. If your spouse is not able to meet all your expectations, leave a room for adjustment.

● Attend family events together

Understand this event is not about you or your spouse’s marriage. It is for an external circumstance which you cannot avoid dealing with. Try to approach it in the most knowledgeable way ever.

Comfort one another in times of hardship and carry each other’s burdens as serious as you would do to yours. Attending a family event together would prove your love for each other to your people and it would change their mind set on what they think of your spouse.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

When you need legal help with a divorce in Utah, please call Ascent Law LLC at (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Does It Matter Who Files For Divorce First In Utah?

What Is A Hardship Loan Modification?

Salt lake Bankruptcy Lawyer

Best West Valley City Utah Accident Lawyer

Utah DUI Defense

Can You Withdraw Money From a Deceased Person’s Account?

For updates on the novel corona virus, click here

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from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/did-divorce-get-renewed/ from Divorce Lawyer Nelson Farms Utah https://divorcelawyernelsonfarmsutah.tumblr.com/post/614193298935070720

[aretia]

Did Divorce Get Renewed?

This is a question that is asked so many times. Yes, divorce can be renewed at some point in life. Separation of two people who were once in love is a bit difficult. Irrespective of the prevailing situations, rekindling your love is not rocket science. It can be done.

Anyone entering into marriage may not think that their marriage could one day dissolve. However, when the divorce happens, it prompts the individual to get into a reflection period.

You are forced to evaluate the whole scenario, take a step back and analyse the current adversity. Feeling the same way you felt the first time you met each other can still be in you. Despite your differences that chemistry in most cases still holds, the minute you see your spouse.

In the Bible, the plan of God was married people to stay together loving and cherishing each other for the rest of their life till death do them apart. Among the Christians, marriage is very crucial.

It is believed that God hates divorce and reconciliation is pleasing to Him. Normally what happens when a married couple reconciles, the devil shakes and attacking the marriage again becomes hard for him because you have proved him wrong.

However, there are acceptable situations where divorce is accepted in the Bible like adultery, abandonment and refusing your spouse his or her conjugal rights. Nevertheless, reconciliation should still be sought. There are so many reasons why the married couple would restore back their marriage even after the divorce. In this article I am going to share them with you.

Major reasons why couples would like to rekindle marriage after divorce

● After divorce, there is time for reflection, which dissipates anger.

It becomes easier to reflect on your relationship when you are away from it. Conflicts between couples tend to blindside the two individuals from having a sensible perception regarding their mate. When you separate, after some time you will realize your negative emotions are not as strong as they were when you were together. You will see the role you played in breaking up your family.

When you come back together, there will be a possibility for reconciliation since you’ll have acknowledged what you would have done in the first place to save your marriage.

● Distance makes one to appreciate your spouse’s worth

Sometimes couples may not realize the importance of the other person when they are together. After you separate, you will realize how much your spouse means to you and you will find your heart grow so fond of the person you once loved. You may not feel disconnected like you did when you were in the marriage.

● Your children could be unhappy with you divorcing

Kids are beautiful and they are a source of joy and happiness for couples. They make you think even when you don’t want to. Divorce upends the stability of your children’s world and it becomes very hard for them to bear the pain.

It affects their whole life from their social life, their relationship with others, at school, at home, activities, friendships, holidays, the standard of living and their future marriages. This will make the couple think twice and find themselves reconciling for the sake of their children welfare.

● When you realize that you are still unhappy

People tend to believe if you have been struggling with marriage and get out of it, you will find happiness. I cannot disagree. Maybe in very rare cases. Sometimes after a divorce, most people go through hell than when they were in the marriage.

Numerous research studies show that most divorced couples are unhappier compared to those in marriage. Furthermore, divorce is linked to increase in stress and depression.

● Decreased living standards after going through a divorce

Divorce is quite expensive especially when it comes to children’s custody. In most cases divorce stipulates that asset division is to be 50-50. The involved parties eventually experience financial crisis after the entire process. The most affected with finances are women compared to men after the divorce. Regaining your financial stability after the divorce process can be emotionally draining, thus some couples will opt to remain together to avoid such issues.

● Paradigm shift in one’s conduct

Sometimes a divorce can trigger behavioral change in an individual. This stems mainly from a sense of guilt and remorse. You start to contemplate that maybe your own misdemeanor could have cost you your marriage. You then make an intentional resolution to become a better individual by accepting your weaknesses and improving them. This in itself is a good thing because once you reconcile, your new relationship will become splendid.

You see yourself better than them and you think you cannot make mistakes. Well, a separation makes you evaluate your life and contemplate on what is important. You will admit your faults and work on how to reconcile with your partner. In other words, in order for reconciliation to occur, you must demonstrate a real change of behavior, actions, and attitude.

● Unrealistic expectations in marriage

This is one of the greatest factors which contribute to failed marriages. Couples enter into marriage with unrealistic expectations. In order for a couple to successfully reunite, a couple has to have realistic expectations for themselves, their spouse and the marriage in general.

It is better to start from nothing and work on building your marriage. Do not place any unrealistic goals on your partner. Such unrealistic expectations cause unhappiness and lack of satisfaction in marriage.

A second chance after a divorce?

A divorce brings out an array of emotions and feelings. It is also a tumultuous period in one’s life. You are prone to develop fear of the unknown, wondering if all is lost on that relationship or if there is any hope to salvage it.

Yes, there is hope. It is better to hang on to that thread of hope, rather than to throw in the towel. What matters is your determination and intentions. Become intentional towards rebuilding your relationship. Identify a solid purpose for your union and weed out any relationship spoilers that ruined your marriage in the first place. Try out the following guidelines as you seek to reconcile with your mate.

● Make contact with your ex-spouse as much as possible.

Talk to your partner as many time as possible just like it was when you first met. Allow yourself to feel better with them and give them a chance to prove their loyalty this time. Call, text or email to discuss the things that are important in his or her day.

Show interest in the things that your ex-spouse is involved in. Complement and express how much you’ve missed your ex-spouse. After some courting, you can then ask your ex-spouse on a first date. Treat this first date just as you would if you were going on it with someone you don’t know.

● Be a lifelong learner on how to excel in marriage

In this information era, you cannot lack the resources to educate yourself on how to become a homemaker. Make sure your separation time will teach you how to relate well with yourself and the people around you, so that when you two decide to come together, it won’t be a problem again. When dealing with your ex-spouse, learn ways to deal with upcoming problems.

This will save you from frustration. Learn to be more expressive and an active listener. If it reaches a point you have to compromise on a certain issue, you can do it for the sake of your marriage. This may actually surprise you.

You may find it working for you. If your partner felt unheard or under-appreciated, make a point to listen and appreciate more. Remember you are doing this for your own benefit. Do not do it because you want your spouse to be interested in you again, but rather do it because it is right for both of you.

● Be cautious and take your time

For people who were once in love, it is possible for them to get back together quickly, which can lead them to the very mistake they made the first time round. It is advisable to You better take baby steps, where you are slow but sure.

Take time to explore each other again. Don’t let any negative feelings to over shadow you because it will crush you down again. Take the steps in your relationship slowly and pay attention to exactly what will be happening.

Understand that this is a new beginning but it has history attached to it that needs consideration and resolution. Ignoring what happened in the past and only looking forward may seem like the best way to handle it, but it may end up surprising you later when you discover you still hold on to some of your old feelings.

● Iron out any issues in the marriage

Most divorces stem from poor or lack of communication skills among couples. Take the time to build on effective ways of communicating with your ex-spouse. This will build trust and in the long run, the two of you will be able to connect once again. Use that time to air out any issues in your relationship.

You don’t want to repeat the same patterns as you did in the marriage, or the new relationship will have the same ending as your first marriage did. Be open about what happened to cause the divorce and discuss it with an open mind and heart. Sometimes this can be difficult, but it is the right approach to your marriage.

● Be grateful for your spouse

Everyone feels great and loved when they realize that they are acknowledged for the little efforts they make. The good news is, it’s relatively easy to make the other person feel appreciated. Send a daily email or text thanking your spouse for picking up the laundry or watching the kids when you are away or sleeping.

Ask them about their day and listen. Tell them how great they look in their new suit or new haircut. These things might seem small, but that’s precisely why they’re meaningful.

Everyone wants to feel that what they do matters. Communicate what you feel about them that you love, do not assume they will know by your action. A word of mouth is much better than your actions.

● Stop focusing on the past. Focus on the future

The greatest mistake you will ever do is to keep reminding your spouse how much they failed you at some point in life. If you do that your marriage will be doomed and getting back to each other becomes more difficult. If your spouse has made amends for hurting you, learn to forgive and move on together in peace. This becomes easier for you to connect with them than you ever did before. Be committed to helping your renewed marriage work and focus on your future together.

● Ensure you are on the same page.

Marriage is a two way traffic. If you and your spouse feel connected to each other even after divorce, it’s better you work on your reconciliation. Make sure, first of all, that this is really what both of you want. Be sure that it isn’t just because you are lonely, or distant, or romanticizing the good parts of your marriage and ignoring the bad? Consider that if it didn’t work out last time, what will make it work out this time?

At the end of the day, it is only you who is able to know the reasons why you desire to rekindle your relationship. Always be true to who you are and take the next leap into the future. Re-evaluate your expectations Take a clear look at your expectations of marriage and whether they are realistic. See whether your motive is right about your marriage. Make very clear decision and know exactly what to expect from your partner otherwise, you will be hurt again.

Understand that no one is perfect including yourself. Once in a while mistakes will happen so better know how to handle them. If your spouse is not able to meet all your expectations, leave a room for adjustment.

● Attend family events together

Understand this event is not about you or your spouse’s marriage. It is for an external circumstance which you cannot avoid dealing with. Try to approach it in the most knowledgeable way ever.

Comfort one another in times of hardship and carry each other’s burdens as serious as you would do to yours. Attending a family event together would prove your love for each other to your people and it would change their mind set on what they think of your spouse.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

When you need legal help with a divorce in Utah, please call Ascent Law LLC at (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Does It Matter Who Files For Divorce First In Utah?

What Is A Hardship Loan Modification?

Salt lake Bankruptcy Lawyer

Best West Valley City Utah Accident Lawyer

Utah DUI Defense

Can You Withdraw Money From a Deceased Person’s Account?

For updates on the novel corona virus, click here

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Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/did-divorce-get-renewed/

[advertphoto]

Did Divorce Get Renewed?

This is a question that is asked so many times. Yes, divorce can be renewed at some point in life. Separation of two people who were once in love is a bit difficult. Irrespective of the prevailing situations, rekindling your love is not rocket science. It can be done.

Anyone entering into marriage may not think that their marriage could one day dissolve. However, when the divorce happens, it prompts the individual to get into a reflection period.

You are forced to evaluate the whole scenario, take a step back and analyse the current adversity. Feeling the same way you felt the first time you met each other can still be in you. Despite your differences that chemistry in most cases still holds, the minute you see your spouse.

In the Bible, the plan of God was married people to stay together loving and cherishing each other for the rest of their life till death do them apart. Among the Christians, marriage is very crucial.

It is believed that God hates divorce and reconciliation is pleasing to Him. Normally what happens when a married couple reconciles, the devil shakes and attacking the marriage again becomes hard for him because you have proved him wrong.

However, there are acceptable situations where divorce is accepted in the Bible like adultery, abandonment and refusing your spouse his or her conjugal rights. Nevertheless, reconciliation should still be sought. There are so many reasons why the married couple would restore back their marriage even after the divorce. In this article I am going to share them with you.

Major reasons why couples would like to rekindle marriage after divorce

● After divorce, there is time for reflection, which dissipates anger.

It becomes easier to reflect on your relationship when you are away from it. Conflicts between couples tend to blindside the two individuals from having a sensible perception regarding their mate. When you separate, after some time you will realize your negative emotions are not as strong as they were when you were together. You will see the role you played in breaking up your family.

When you come back together, there will be a possibility for reconciliation since you’ll have acknowledged what you would have done in the first place to save your marriage.

● Distance makes one to appreciate your spouse’s worth

Sometimes couples may not realize the importance of the other person when they are together. After you separate, you will realize how much your spouse means to you and you will find your heart grow so fond of the person you once loved. You may not feel disconnected like you did when you were in the marriage.

● Your children could be unhappy with you divorcing

Kids are beautiful and they are a source of joy and happiness for couples. They make you think even when you don’t want to. Divorce upends the stability of your children’s world and it becomes very hard for them to bear the pain.

It affects their whole life from their social life, their relationship with others, at school, at home, activities, friendships, holidays, the standard of living and their future marriages. This will make the couple think twice and find themselves reconciling for the sake of their children welfare.

● When you realize that you are still unhappy

People tend to believe if you have been struggling with marriage and get out of it, you will find happiness. I cannot disagree. Maybe in very rare cases. Sometimes after a divorce, most people go through hell than when they were in the marriage.

Numerous research studies show that most divorced couples are unhappier compared to those in marriage. Furthermore, divorce is linked to increase in stress and depression.

● Decreased living standards after going through a divorce

Divorce is quite expensive especially when it comes to children’s custody. In most cases divorce stipulates that asset division is to be 50-50. The involved parties eventually experience financial crisis after the entire process. The most affected with finances are women compared to men after the divorce. Regaining your financial stability after the divorce process can be emotionally draining, thus some couples will opt to remain together to avoid such issues.

● Paradigm shift in one’s conduct

Sometimes a divorce can trigger behavioral change in an individual. This stems mainly from a sense of guilt and remorse. You start to contemplate that maybe your own misdemeanor could have cost you your marriage. You then make an intentional resolution to become a better individual by accepting your weaknesses and improving them. This in itself is a good thing because once you reconcile, your new relationship will become splendid.

You see yourself better than them and you think you cannot make mistakes. Well, a separation makes you evaluate your life and contemplate on what is important. You will admit your faults and work on how to reconcile with your partner. In other words, in order for reconciliation to occur, you must demonstrate a real change of behavior, actions, and attitude.

● Unrealistic expectations in marriage

This is one of the greatest factors which contribute to failed marriages. Couples enter into marriage with unrealistic expectations. In order for a couple to successfully reunite, a couple has to have realistic expectations for themselves, their spouse and the marriage in general.

It is better to start from nothing and work on building your marriage. Do not place any unrealistic goals on your partner. Such unrealistic expectations cause unhappiness and lack of satisfaction in marriage.

A second chance after a divorce?

A divorce brings out an array of emotions and feelings. It is also a tumultuous period in one’s life. You are prone to develop fear of the unknown, wondering if all is lost on that relationship or if there is any hope to salvage it.

Yes, there is hope. It is better to hang on to that thread of hope, rather than to throw in the towel. What matters is your determination and intentions. Become intentional towards rebuilding your relationship. Identify a solid purpose for your union and weed out any relationship spoilers that ruined your marriage in the first place. Try out the following guidelines as you seek to reconcile with your mate.

● Make contact with your ex-spouse as much as possible.

Talk to your partner as many time as possible just like it was when you first met. Allow yourself to feel better with them and give them a chance to prove their loyalty this time. Call, text or email to discuss the things that are important in his or her day.

Show interest in the things that your ex-spouse is involved in. Complement and express how much you’ve missed your ex-spouse. After some courting, you can then ask your ex-spouse on a first date. Treat this first date just as you would if you were going on it with someone you don’t know.

● Be a lifelong learner on how to excel in marriage

In this information era, you cannot lack the resources to educate yourself on how to become a homemaker. Make sure your separation time will teach you how to relate well with yourself and the people around you, so that when you two decide to come together, it won’t be a problem again. When dealing with your ex-spouse, learn ways to deal with upcoming problems.

This will save you from frustration. Learn to be more expressive and an active listener. If it reaches a point you have to compromise on a certain issue, you can do it for the sake of your marriage. This may actually surprise you.

You may find it working for you. If your partner felt unheard or under-appreciated, make a point to listen and appreciate more. Remember you are doing this for your own benefit. Do not do it because you want your spouse to be interested in you again, but rather do it because it is right for both of you.

● Be cautious and take your time

For people who were once in love, it is possible for them to get back together quickly, which can lead them to the very mistake they made the first time round. It is advisable to You better take baby steps, where you are slow but sure.

Take time to explore each other again. Don’t let any negative feelings to over shadow you because it will crush you down again. Take the steps in your relationship slowly and pay attention to exactly what will be happening.

Understand that this is a new beginning but it has history attached to it that needs consideration and resolution. Ignoring what happened in the past and only looking forward may seem like the best way to handle it, but it may end up surprising you later when you discover you still hold on to some of your old feelings.

● Iron out any issues in the marriage

Most divorces stem from poor or lack of communication skills among couples. Take the time to build on effective ways of communicating with your ex-spouse. This will build trust and in the long run, the two of you will be able to connect once again. Use that time to air out any issues in your relationship.

You don’t want to repeat the same patterns as you did in the marriage, or the new relationship will have the same ending as your first marriage did. Be open about what happened to cause the divorce and discuss it with an open mind and heart. Sometimes this can be difficult, but it is the right approach to your marriage.

● Be grateful for your spouse

Everyone feels great and loved when they realize that they are acknowledged for the little efforts they make. The good news is, it’s relatively easy to make the other person feel appreciated. Send a daily email or text thanking your spouse for picking up the laundry or watching the kids when you are away or sleeping.

Ask them about their day and listen. Tell them how great they look in their new suit or new haircut. These things might seem small, but that’s precisely why they’re meaningful.

Everyone wants to feel that what they do matters. Communicate what you feel about them that you love, do not assume they will know by your action. A word of mouth is much better than your actions.

● Stop focusing on the past. Focus on the future

The greatest mistake you will ever do is to keep reminding your spouse how much they failed you at some point in life. If you do that your marriage will be doomed and getting back to each other becomes more difficult. If your spouse has made amends for hurting you, learn to forgive and move on together in peace. This becomes easier for you to connect with them than you ever did before. Be committed to helping your renewed marriage work and focus on your future together.

● Ensure you are on the same page.

Marriage is a two way traffic. If you and your spouse feel connected to each other even after divorce, it’s better you work on your reconciliation. Make sure, first of all, that this is really what both of you want. Be sure that it isn’t just because you are lonely, or distant, or romanticizing the good parts of your marriage and ignoring the bad? Consider that if it didn’t work out last time, what will make it work out this time?

At the end of the day, it is only you who is able to know the reasons why you desire to rekindle your relationship. Always be true to who you are and take the next leap into the future. Re-evaluate your expectations Take a clear look at your expectations of marriage and whether they are realistic. See whether your motive is right about your marriage. Make very clear decision and know exactly what to expect from your partner otherwise, you will be hurt again.

Understand that no one is perfect including yourself. Once in a while mistakes will happen so better know how to handle them. If your spouse is not able to meet all your expectations, leave a room for adjustment.

● Attend family events together

Understand this event is not about you or your spouse’s marriage. It is for an external circumstance which you cannot avoid dealing with. Try to approach it in the most knowledgeable way ever.

Comfort one another in times of hardship and carry each other’s burdens as serious as you would do to yours. Attending a family event together would prove your love for each other to your people and it would change their mind set on what they think of your spouse.

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When you need legal help with a divorce in Utah, please call Ascent Law LLC at (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

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