#submissions close Sunday night!

[violaeadde]

oh my god a huge proposal i nearly died writing at work has been recommended to council for award so like we’re one step away from officially winning. SO RELIEVEDDDDD everyone wanted to win this one so bad it was stressing me tf out

[hoffmansgirl]

𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐇 ━ father charlie mayhew

★ warnings: nsfw content ahead!! making out, blasphemy, slutty!reader, they're both horny as fuck (sorry not sorry...), handjob, oral (m!receiving), face fucking, use of "daddy" like once or twice, use of "father" during sex, unprotected p in v, slight size kink?? lmk if i missed something

☆ note: my first attempt at smut and... not sure how i feel? other than that, it's my first fanfic on tumblr!!! feedback is deeply appreciated, enjoy :)

!! english is not my first language !! ౨ৎ

She knew he craved for her the way she craved for him.

The way her eyes followed him as he spoke, the way a little smile tugged at the corner of her lips every time their eyes met. The way he looked at her with a lust so deep that he couldn't comprehend it. The way he got nervous every time she walked through that big, heavy door in her ridiculously short skirts, making him unable to focus.

She was there every day, watching him, waiting for the perfect time to get to his head. But he never let her. He always left the platform before she could even take a step forward.

Yet he couldn't stop thinking about her. In the night, when he was all alone, he wrapped a hand around his cock and pumped, her pretty face in his mind, as he came hard each time.

Let's say, he was getting pretty good at avoiding her.

It was until, after the Sunday mass, she came up to him and said: “I would like to confess” confidently, even though hesitation could be heard in her soft voice. Everyone else left the church, and it was only them now. The thought made her heart skip a beat.

Father Charlie smiled at her, trying not to look at her exposed legs. She was teasing him, with her ridicolously short skirts and cut-low tops. Her pretty, almond-shaped eyes scanned over his face, and he felt his pants getting tighter every passing second.

“Of course. Come to my office at 8”, he cleared his throat, eyes leaving her small form only to wander around the walls of the church. Suddenly he felt nervous by her presence and the effect she had on him. She bit her pretty glossed lip and he swore he could come just at the sight of her. This little, slutty sinner. He thought about bending her over the bench and fucking the confidence out of her.

“Thank you, Father”, she replied and nodded her head, and then she left. Her voice caused him to take a deep breath; he didn’t realise he was holding it in. Her smell surrounding him, and he inhaled deeply: the smell of vanilla, tobacco and a little bit of her making his head spin.

“Lust is a sin”, he mumbled, closing his eyes, but then he saw her; on her knees, all submissive, taking his cock deep in her mouth. Her face when he made her cum, the way her pretty tits bounced if he let her take control and ride on him. Father Charlie opened his eyes immidiately, and his eyes brimmed with tears. “God, forgive me”.

Y/N knocked on his office door exactly at 8 p.m. She was wearing a short, black skirt, long-sleeved top that barely covered her boobs, a leather jacket and platform boots. She bit her lip nervously when she heard his voice from inside: a raspy “Come in”, that made her heart skip a bit, and she twisted the doorknob.

“Good evening, Y/N”. The way he looked at her made her want to clench her thighs together. His eyes scanned over her legs, and then her boobs, and finally, they settled on her pretty face. She smiled at him, confidently, and replied: “Good evening, Father”.

She sat down in the chair across of him and crossed her legs.

“You know, I thought this should be done in a confessional” She noticed after a while of silence, and he leaned down on the desk, playing with his ring. The sight made her want to clench her thighs together, but she stopped herself from doing so. She knew he would immidiately notice.

“It should be, yes”, he confessed, and then took a deep breath. “But you’re not here to confess, aren’t you, angel?”

The nickname made her eyes widen, but she nodded her head and replied: “Correct, Father. I just wanted it to be us two.”

Her boldness should disgust him, but it only made her more attractive in his eyes. She has to be the devil, he thought, and, once again, felt his pants getting tighter. Her eyes followed his every move, observing his reaction.

"Maybe you should confess, though." he said, keeping his attentive eyes on her. Y/N ran a hand through her black hair, her rings and bracelets glistening in the dim sunlight peeking through the window. "Tell me, angel, what's going on in that little head of yours?"

"I have sinned, Father." she confessed immediately, her lips curled into a little smile. She should feel ashamed. Disgusted by herself. Yet all she felt was excitement. She was obsessed with him, and now it was her chance to get him. Y/N wet her lips, her mind going blank at the sight of him, leaning against his desk, sitting here nonchalantly, his brown eyes following the movement of her tongue against her lip.

"I have been... pleasuring myself... and thinking about someone I shouldn't be thinking about. Not like that." Y/N's cheeks burned, but she continued, she needed to get this off her chest. She didn't dare looking at him, suddenly feeling ashamed. "I've been hooking up with some guys at parties, imagining it was him instead. Manhandling me. Claiming me. Marking me."

For the first time in a while, Father Charlie was in a loss of words. He shifted in his seat, leaning against the back of the chair, studying her pretty face. She looked so angelic, her tiny form making it hard for him to control himself. Of course she has been thinking about him. He felt excitement run through his veins at the images popping up in his head. Y/N, just in her pretty black lacy panties, her fingers inside of her puffy, leaking pussy, face twisted with pleasure. He swore he could almost hear her pretty moans as she came, "please, Father, I'm close" leaving her pouty pink lips.

Y/N thought she heard a little whisper coming out of his mouth, but she couldn't quite tell what he was saying. His eyes pierced into hers, as he got up from his seat and ringed around the desk. His steps were careful, predatory, as she kept his stare without flinching. Y/N pressed her back against the chair, her shirt lifting up just slightly, but he noticed. His face followed her chest, and his eyes' light up.

"Tell me more. Tell me everything you think about when you lay in your bed at night, pleasuring yourself at the thought of me."

She dared to look up at him, and she was taken aback by the sudden closeness. He was towering over her, his lip between his teeth, his left hand finding place on the arm of the chair she was sitting in.

She shuddered when Charlie's hot breath tickled her ear, but she didn't back off. His mouth was suddenly on her collarbone, licking her skin, humming to himself at the taste and smell of her. Y/N moaned quietly, and she tilted her head back, closing her eyes at the sudden pleasure.

His right hand found itself tangled in her long hair, and he pulled, making the small girl under him whine again. His other hand running over her pretty breasts, up to her collarbone, stopping on her neck. He squeezed the sides of it, and she closed her eyes, whimpering oh so prettily. His touch cautious, teasingly slow, as he breathed heavily, in awe at the sight in front of him. She was a mess and he barely touched her. Charlie chuckled, the low sound vibrating against the thick air surrounding them, and both of his hands left her body as he backed off, leaving her cold and desperate.

"You're such a little slut, you know that, angel? Teasing me with these short skirts of yours, staring at me during the masses, distracting me. You thought I wouldn't notice?" He tutted, leaning against the closest wall, his strong arms crossing on his chest. Her eyes followed him, and she got up, desperation visible in her every move. The degrading nickname echoed in her mind, the wetness between her legs getting unbearable.

"I wanted you to notice, Charlie", she used his first name, causing his whole body to shiver, as she took big step towards him, pinning him to the wall. She touched his muscular shoulders, her delicate fingers moving down his chest. "You can't imagine how long I've wanted this. I want to make you feel good, Father. Please, let me", she whispered, looking at him through her lashes, her lips dangerously close to his own. Charlie's eyes followed her mouth as she spoke, his dark irises sparkling with desire, as he felt completely dominated by the tiny girl in front of him. A strange feeling sparkled in his chest, but he didn't have time to think about it, as Y/N run her hand over the bulge in his pants.

The sudden intrusion on his pulsing member caused Charlie to moan, his head falling against the wall with a loud thud. Y/N's hand now stroking him through his dress pants, her breathing growing heavier by each passing second as she observed his reactions. Her mouth twitched into a satisfied smile, her thumb just barely running over his leaking tip, and he fucking whimpered.

She backed off just as he did minutes ago, still smiling from ear to ear, as his eyes met hers again. The next thing she felt was his lips on hers, as he devoured her, his hot tongue in her mouth almost immediately. The kiss was rough, both of them fighting for dominance, as she tugged at his hair, his greedy hands on her ass, pulling at the flesh, feeling of her soft skin almost too much for him. Charlie lifted one of Y/N's legs, holding it up on his hip, as he felt her much smaller body melting into his own. The moment their crotches met, and she grinded, a synchronised moan vibrating against the thick air surrounding them. Y/N pulled back from the kiss, catching her breath, but never pulling away from him completely.

His forehead pressed against hers, as he closed his eyes, breathing heavily. Her mouth found his again, but this time, it was softer, the feelings she had for him finally taking over her, as she kissed him as if her life depended on it. They moved slowly, without a single worry in the world, her hands on his chest, as his own found place on her lower back.

"Let me take you to my room", Father Charlie mumbled under his breath, eyes full of something she couldn't quite name.

Y/N nodded, and the next thing she knew was Charlie dragging her through the long corridor, his steps hurried. He shut the door to his room behind them loudly, and he kissed her again, his hands tugging at her black top, desperate to take the excess clothing off her body.

Charlie pushed her on the bed, and took a second to adore her bare tits. Her nipples already erect, reacting to the cold air in the room, and he couldn't stop himself from getting on top of her, leaving bruises all over her neck.

"No bra? You really planned all of this, didn't you? You are just a desperate little slut, begging to be fucked, aren't you, Y\N?" he whispered in her ear, leaving a big, wet kiss under it, and she moaned. She arched her back as his mouth closed around one of her nipples. Charlie swirled his tongue around the hard nub, and a hum left his mouth at the taste of her. He looked at her through his thick eyelashes, his innocent stare making Y/N grind on him again and again.

He moved to her other nipple, and she tugged at his dress shirt, silently begging him to take it off. He obliged, using one hand to undo the buttons, while his lips sucked on her pretty boob, never stopping his movements.

When his shirt fell to the floor, Y/N flipped Charlie over and sat down on his torso. He hissed when his back met the soft sheets, and for a second, his face grimaced in pain. She furrowed her brows, both of her hands on his hard chest, her hair on her face.

"What's wrong?" she immediately asked, her tits bouncing in front of his face as she moved downward to have a better look at him.

"Nothing you have to worry about, pretty girl". His soft hands touched her face, and she smiled at the compliment, taking a mental note to ask about that later.

"Let me take care of you", she said again, caressing his chest with her little hands, and she let their lips meet again.

Charlie melted into her touch, forgetting about the pain, his hand in her hair, as she kissed him slowly and passionately. Soon after the kiss turned messy, a dirty exchange of saliva, teeth crashing, tongues meeting in a nasty dance, as he lifted her skirt and started grinding his hard cock against her pretty, panties covered cunt.

She whimpered on top of him, back arching, but his lips never left hers. Her hands tugged at his hair, their lips separating. He could feel the wetness of her pussy against his hard on as she grinded against him, moving her hips in such way that had him breathless, his own member leaking with pre-cum.

She stopped her movements and immediately started to undo the button of his dress pants, and he moaned when she accidentally pressed her palm at his cock.

"Let me take care of you, Father", the blasphemous words leaving her mouth again, and all he could do was nod. His eyes pleading, and if it wasn't for the heat of the moment, he would be embarrassed of his own submission.

Y/N truly was the devil himself, he thought, as she took off his pants and boxers and laid down between his legs.

She licked her lips at the sight of him: she could already feel how big he was while grinding him, but seeing him, oh Lord, he was so big. He was definitely much above average. His slightly curved cock, tip leaking with precum, and the whole length contracted when she moved her lips closer.

"You have such a pretty cock, Charlie", she admitted wholeheartedly, her mouth watering, as he just stared at her, the praise making him even harder. She then took his cock in her hand and began slowly stroking his length, her thumb brushing against his angry red tip. Charlie's back arched as she finally touched him, his eyes closing at the contact.

"Oh... Oh, God", he whines, his mouth dropping open as she finally closed her mouth around him, struggling to take him in fully. She began bobbing her head on his tip slowly, and she hummed at the salty taste of his pre cum. "You're so big, Father", she moaned and then kitten licked at the underside of his cock, her tongue barely grazing over his tight balls.

All he could do was groan lowly, not a single thought in his head, as he thrusted his hips toward her face.

She began bobbing her head on him, his cock disappearing deeper and deeper into her mouth with each bob of her head. Charlie's hands found place in her silky, black hair, as he moved his hips, all of his self control leaving his body.

"Yes, angel. You're doing such a good job for me", she whined around his cock at the praise, her nails digging into his muscular thighs, as he thrusted into her mouth over and over again. "You have no idea how long I've thought about this, how many times I pumped my cock at the thought of you", his head fell back against the pillow as he murmured nonsense, his thrusts against her face getting more aggressive.

Y/N choked and gagged on his cock, only spurring him on more, and tears were streaming down her face, her makeup ruined, and her thighs clenched together at the sound of his pretty moans.

Charlie's cock twitched in her mouth, and she looked up at him, his own eyes already on her. His mouth was slightly opened, sweat covering his hard chest and forehead, the sight of his messy, soft hair making her moan around him.

"Cum down my throat, Father", she took her mouth of him only to whisper those words to him, her hand still pumping his twitching length, and in the moment he swore he could see stars, as his orgasm was getting closer and closer.

Then, as she put all of him in her mouth, and he was a lost man. His back arched as he pulled at her hair, her nose brushing against his soft, curly pubic hair as she deepthroated him through his orgasm.

Thick ropes of cum covered the back of her throat, and she gagged, slowly working her mouth over him until he collapsed on the bed, his chest heaving with deep breaths, whimpers leaving his pretty mouth. She swallowed all of his cum, the taste of him on her tongue making her shiver. His eyes never left his face, and he nodded in approval when she stuck her tongue out to show that she swallowed all of his cum. How could she not? In that moment she knew that she absolutely adored every part of him.

Charlie's still hard cock hit his stomach loudly as she got up from between his legs, and straddled him once again.

"You taste so good, Charlie", Y/N whispered, leaving kisses all over his neck and collarbones. His hands found her hips, as she pulled her panties to the side and grinded down on him. They both moaned at the contact, her wetness making it easy for her to grind down on his spit-covered length.

"God made you just for me", he hissed as she grounded down on him, his eyes full of adoration and awe, and she smiled, her brows furrowing because of the pressure on her puffy clit. "Are you an angel or the devil? Hmm?" his voice soft like butter when he flipped her over and surrounded her with his big arms, his tip just barely grazing over her entrance.

"I can be whatever you want me to be, Father", she replied breathlessly but wholeheartedly, chasing his cock with her leaking pussy, making a mess on his white sheets. Charlie smiled at her, and the next second she felt his fat tip finally stretching her out.

They both moaned in unison, and she clawed at his scarred back, and he groaned in pain and pure bliss.

"'S too big", she mumbled, her hair creating a halo around her head, and Charlie never stopped thrusting his length into her, his big hands holding her hips in place.

"I know you can take it, come on. You begged for it, so take it like the little good girl you are, can you, Y/N?" he taunted, his voice dangerously low as he felt her clench around him. She nodded and moaned as she felt him oh so deep. The pain and pleasure mixed, her vision blurred with tears of pure bliss as she whimpered.

"God, fuck me. Please, please, take me however you want, Father", she begged as her eyes rolled back, his own moan echoed through the thin walls. And that's when he buried himself in her to the hilt.

YN's back arched, tears blurring her vision, as he whimpered, his hand leaving her hip to find its place on her exposed neck.

He pressed on her neck, hard, cutting her airflow, fucking harder into her tight pussy, and she cried, and in that moment he thought that she was the most beautiful woman he's ever seen in his life.

"Daddy...."

He heard her whimper, her hands clawing at the ruined sheets, as she looked up at him, completely ruined just for him to see. He groaned at the vulgar nickname leaving her mouth, his thrusts getting deeper, stronger, as she screamed in pleasure.

"You're a nasty little girl, aren't you, Angel?" he asked and chuckled when he saw her attempting to respond. "See that?"

Charlie took his hand off her neck and she took a deep breath, his hand finding place in her hair next. He yanked Y/N's head up and made her look down, onto the place where they were connecting over and over again.

The visible bulge in her stomach made her eyes roll back into her head, the sight so vulgar that she felt herself getting nearer and nearer to her orgasm.

"I'm gonna breed you so deep, Angel. You won't ever be able to look at another man again. You're mine now. I'm gonna pump you nice and full of my cum and you're gonna take it like a good girl, aren't you?" he mumbled, his own end near, and she nodded her head, his hips flat against the back of her thighs.

"Please, I need it, Charlie. Make me cum", her voice barely a whisper, mascara smudged all over her cheeks, and Charlie kissed her with all the strength he had left, her hands around his neck as he held her hips in his hands.

His thrusts strong and sloppy as his whole body started to shake, her walls squeezing him tightly as she came with a loud moan of his name, and he followed immediately after.

He kept on thrusting into her, fucking her through his orgasm, their lips never separating as they came down from their highs together.

An hour later she was tangled in his sheets, his arm around her, thumb tracing little circles on her arm while they cuddled. YN's head on his chest, she was sleeping peacefully, but his mind was full of doubt and guilt. He knew he would have to punish himself for their sins. But she was worth it. He felt his chest tighten, and he placed a delicate kiss on her forehead.

When he finally fell asleep, he dreamed of her sweet smile, and never before in his life has he slept so peacefully.

[hongism]

what lies beneath us. - c. san (m)

➼ genre; fluff, smut, slight angst for the first half but i make it better quickly promise ➼ pairing; san x afab!reader ➼ au; established relationship, college au ➼ warnings; explicit smut ➼ rating; m/18+ ➼ wc; 6.4k

one busy semester is all it took for you and san to find yourselves struggling to find footing in the storm that is your relationship, yet rather than let go, he asked for one more week, one more day, one last chance to help get you back to shore

part of the ...and it's snowing collab.

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➼ smut warnings; unprotected sex, oral: m, vaginal fingering, praise, body worship, service-top san, san has some slightly submissive tendencies, coming inside

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You normally wouldn’t find yourself in Wooyoung’s apartment on a Tuesday morning, sitting at the bar counter beside his roommate with two mugs of coffee sitting on the granite between you, but you also haven’t had any leisure time to waste lately. It’s a miracle that Wooyoung is even up before ten o’clock, though that might be in part due to you pleading desperately over the phone to come over.

“Oh, you make her coffee but not me? The fuck is up with that, Hwa?” Speak of the devil, Wooyoung comes into the kitchen still rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“She’s a guest, you live here. And I had to wake you up because you slept through three alarms so my sympathy levels are close to zero right now.” Seonghwa flashes a faux shrug despite the heated glare he’s sent. Wooyoung lets out a huff but lets it go in favor of redirecting his attention to you.

“Right, well, what did you need to talk about so badly that it couldn’t wait until the afternoon?”

“San is coming over tonight, I couldn't do the afternoon,” you mumble.

“Is it about him then? Did something—” he waves a hand through the air like that’ll explain his thoughts, and when confusion shows on both your face and Seonghwa’s, he gives up “—did something happen between you guys?”

“It feels a bit awkward,” you admit over the rim of your coffee mug. Wooyoung scoffs at that, but Seonghwa is far more forgiving than your best friend in that he sends you a sympathetic grin. 

“Awkward?” he prompts, toying with his own drink. Wooyoung pushes away from the counter and turns to the coffee maker.

“I don't know. Yeah, awkward, a bit. I guess. Like we don't know what we're doing or how to be in a relationship anymore.”

The brutal semester you both just suffered has been the main factor in the wedge in your relationship. Weekends full of studying, ones that you spent together at the start of the semester when he would come to your place or vice versa so that you could be together even while working. Then, San started picking up more shifts at his part-time job, and you had to redirect your focus to a particularly important internship that required you to forgo those weekends in the blink of an eye. You did have two weekends free of school and work, but San had to rush home during one of those on account of his mother falling ill. The other one was shot by you falling ill with the worst cold you’ve known in all your years of living. San came by that Friday with your favorite chicken and beer, but you couldn’t bring yourself to risk getting him sick when you knew how important the semester was to him too. It didn’t keep him from coming by again Saturday and Sunday both, soup was delivered to your front door along with voice messages wishing you well throughout the night. Even your text conversations were fizzling into oblivion by the time finals rolled around, which only served to amplify your feelings of dread. 

“Has he been acting differently?” Wooyoung tunes back into the conversation, this time more serious with his tone. “Like, he's pulling away or something?” Wooyoung stands on a different footing in this conversation and knows things Seonghwa doesn't in terms of your relationship with San. He's been there for you since well before you started dating San, and you're certain that he'll be there for you if it were to end tomorrow, the next day, or years down the line. 

“It's gonna sound so childish and stupid but he hasn't been calling me nicknames since the semester ended.” You tuck your hands into your lap and shrink into yourself a little, feeling the hot burn of shame well up inside.

“That's not stupid at all, y/n,” Seonghwa reassures barely a second after you finish your train of thought. “That's not.”

“He's right. That's totally unlike San.”

“Not! Helping!”

“I'm just being honest?!”

“Look, y/n, I don't want you to start having doom thoughts or thinking the worst — that doesn't mean his feelings for you have changed.” You’re starting to think that you should’ve asked Seonghwa for advice from the start instead of Wooyoung. “Maybe he's feeling that awkwardness you are too, or maybe he's feeling insecure. The only way to know is to ask. Have an open and honest conversation about it.”

“But…” You glance past Seonghwa to look at Wooyoung's back. Without even needing to look back, he seems to feel the weight of your stare.

“You're scared that if you bring it up, the worst will happen and y'all will break up.”

“We've been dating for so long that I don't know what I would do if that happened. I don't know how to be single, no offense to either of you, but it's just that we've been together for so long now. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if it ended.”

“If…” Wooyoung bites his words back as though he's unsure of how they will come out. “I don't want this to sound harsh, but if all it takes for him to lose his feelings for you is one busy semester, then that's not someone I would want you to have a future with. I know it's not up to me and it's not my business, but I want you to value yourself more than you value your relationship with San.”

“I truly don't think he's lost his feelings for you, y/n,” Seonghwa cuts in again, hand darting out across the counter in your direction. “Woo is right; you should value yourself more than the relationship you're in, but that doesn't mean you can only have one of those things. They can coexist.”

“What if I’m fighting for something he doesn’t want any longer?” you inquire softly and under your breath.

“The spark isn’t gone, y/n, I’m certain of that much. Maybe you just… need to find a way to reignite it!” The coffee maker dings loudly behind Wooyoung. And like it’s turning on a lightbulb in Wooyoung’s head, his expression turns suddenly bright. “Why not do just that? It’s been half a decade, to be fair, so really you can’t be blamed if things feel a little stale. If you went and did things that made you fall for each other in the first place, wouldn’t that help a bit?”

“I hate to say it…”

“You always say that when I’m right!”

“Ignoring him, that does sound like a good plan, y/n.”

Despite the reassurance from both your best friend and someone you consider to be far more mature and wiser, it doesn’t fully quell the concerns settling in your gut.

It’s only been six days since you last saw San, though you would argue that it feels a lot more like six months given how absent you both have been from each other’s lives of late. While that isn’t particularly your fault or his wholly — it’s definitely a joint effort that’s kept you apart — it does make your skin itch with anxiety every time you think about seeing him again.

It’s all culminated into this moment right now, where you sit on the edge of your couch waiting for the doorbell to ring and announce his arrival. You want to see him, desperately so, you’ve missed him so incredibly much that you can hardly stand it. And yet — you’re rooted to the cushions riddled by anxieties. You tried to rid yourself of the lingering stress after leaving Wooyoung’s apartment by doing chores properly for the first time in months, going so far as to run to the grocery and restock some necessities as well. You hate to be the type of partner who cannot do anything alone without associating it with your partner, but San was on your mind throughout the day.

Will he feel the same as you even though the flame keeping your relationship alive has been inching closer and closer to nothingness? The two of you don’t fight, in fact, your friends like to say that things go a little too smoothly between you two, and while that’s true, they aren’t aware of what it looks like when you and San aren’t getting along. It looks the way this semester has, slow conversations that lead nowhere and less time spent in each other’s presence. You aren’t fighting right now, but you certainly aren’t all sunshine and rainbows. The weather mirrors your emotions — dim greys shrouded by white flurries of snow that have been falling since early afternoon.

You clench your fingers around the seam of the couch cushion. No part of you wants to play the part of the overbearing partner: if you’re too eager to see him, wouldn’t he find it off-putting? 

The doorbell rings.

It takes a moment for you to brace yourself for impact, standing and walking over to the door as slowly as you can manage without it seeming like a deliberate delay. The second you open the door, however, your worries melt away for a moment. 

San smiles so brightly like you’ve not gone a second without reveling in each other’s presence. The weather is clinging to his coat still even though he had to climb three flights of stairs to reach your door. The little snowflakes are beginning to melt into the fabric.

“May I come in?” The facade cracks a bit. It’s not like him to ask such things, but you choose not to hold it against him now.

“Yeah, yeah, I finally had time to clean the other day so everything’s — nice.” 

If your smile is strained, he says nothing about it, stepping over the threshold and into your apartment like it’s the first time he’s ever done so. He’s polite all the time, but now it makes those seeds of doubt sprout further because you’ve been together for five years now, what reason does he have to act like a stranger in your home? A home he’s been in time and time again, one he’s slept in, fucked you— 

“Do you want ramen or pizza?” You force the thoughts to come to a halt before your expression turns bitter.

“Let’s do ramen, I’ll cut up the vegetables for you.”

There’s an elephant in the room that it seems neither of you wants to address, and so you keep your mouth shut just the same as San with the thought of “maybe this awkwardness will pass after tonight”. You watch him remove his coat and hang it up on the door while still picking at your nails. He extends a hand to you, one you take eagerly, and you lace your fingers through the gaps between his. A bit like a well-oiled machine, you think, something that Wooyoung had noted about the two of you as far back as freshman year of college. San presses his lips to the top of your head. You lean into the touch ever so slightly. 

You share in a quiet synergy that carries you through the motions of preparing food, with no conversation exchanged aside from a “watch for the knife” and “careful, behind you” on occasion. You’re still trying to psyche yourself up to bring up what’s truly on your mind, so you aren’t sure that you’d be able to get any conversation out without it spiraling into insanity right off the bat. For the moment, for now, you want to simply drink in San’s presence. 

He hums as he opens a cabinet in search of bowls, but they aren’t there. 

“Oh, I—I moved the bowls to the other side.” Three months ago, your mind adds. It would do nothing but add salt to a blossoming wound. San stops dead in his tracks too. He seems to suffer the same crisis that you do right then. After a few seconds of mental buffering, he resumes his humming and shifts to the adjacent cabinet like the moment didn’t happen at all. 

You sit beside each other at the bar counter, atop the uncomfortable stools you’ve had for well over two years now, but it offers a weird comfort because it’s familiar, it’s something San knows, it’s something you share and have shared for years. 

“Thanks for the meal,” San says, still wearing a bitten-back smile. 

“Of course. Thank you for helping.” But the detrimental reality of not speaking to someone properly for a long while is that part of you forgets how to make conversation with them. There is nothing for you and San to “catch up on” seeing as you’ve been keeping each other updated on your lives through dry text conversations. “Um…” He’s eyeing you carefully now, and you could pass off the watering in your eyes as the spice of the food, but he would call your bluff in an instant. The funny thing about doubt is that once it’s taken root, it’ll keep growing back no matter how many times you chop at the stem.

“What’s wrong, y/n?”

“It’s just — I don’t — are we breaking up?”

San freezes halfway over his ramen, chopsticks nearly falling from his fingers as he rushes to put his noodles back down. Your shoulders start shaking before you can stop it. He doesn’t stop you from turning away from him, but San has always been endlessly patient and gentle with you so you don’t expect him to ask you to look at him anyway. He does rest a hand atop your forearm though, and his thumb drags small, comforting circles over your skin. 

“Talk to me, y/n, what do you mean by that? Why would we be breaking up?” The words themselves sound calm. There’s a slight quiver to his tone, however, that makes you want to crawl inside yourself and disappear. “A-Are you wanting that?” Your continued lack of response makes San more urgent than ever, and he shifts his hand to your leg, spinning you to face him. You can’t be certain of the expression on your face (though you’d wager there is some degree of hurt); whatever San sees makes him let out a distressed noise from the back of his throat. “Come here, duck, talk to me.”

Standing on somewhat shaky legs, you push yourself closer to San, and he instinctually moves his knees apart to let you tuck yourself into the space there.

“Don’t cry, baby, I’m here, you can talk to me,” he murmurs, hands cupping your face in his hands. You reach down to cling to his shirt like it’s a lifeline. 

“That’s the first time you’ve called me that in weeks. This is the first time we’ve spent time together in six days. We’ve barely spoken or spent time together all semester, and I know why — I know we agreed that school and work have to come first. I know that.” Your voice drops to a whisper as you lose the confidence to speak. “I didn’t think it would mean losing you though.”

“You haven’t lost me, y/n. I’m still here, with you, loving you just as much as ever.” San smiles a little as you push your cheek further into his palm. “My feelings have not changed. I thought about you every day, wondered how you were doing, and if you responded to my texts late, I hoped you were eating well and getting enough rest. I listened to your voice memos rooting for me every night. Your face was always the first thing I saw in the morning because I still keep that slideshow of you as my lockscreen.” Reaching around to the back of your neck, he gives you a little tug, and your foreheads bump together. “The thought of you helped get me through the semester because I knew that it was you who was waiting for me at the end of the tunnel.”

“Sannie…”

“How long have you been worried over this, baby? You should’ve come to me the moment you started having doubts. I wouldn’t have let this go on if I had known.”

“I thought I felt you pulling away so I was scared to bring it up. You weren’t calling me nicknames anymore, and I started reading into it too much and freaked myself out.”

“I’m so sorry, y/n. Don’t put the blame on yourself, it’s not a crime to have anxieties. I didn’t even realize I stopped using them. I suppose I just got swept up in my own feelings and wanted to call you by your name as much as possible.” He nudges you with his head again. “Because I missed you so dearly.” Your lips turn up at the corners, a gesture that doesn’t go unnoticed by your boyfriend. “And because I adore you so so much, my y/n.”

“Stop that.” You hope he doesn’t, truly.

“But I’m so mushy and full of love for you, y/n.”

“You’re gonna make me blush.”

“Oh, I can think of other ways to do that, baby.” San stands, subsequently pushing his body into yours, but your hands are still on each other, his moving down to caress the back of your thigh before he hooks his fingers around the bend of your knee and hoists your leg up over his hip. “I haven’t been good to you, my sweet,” he murmurs close to your lips. “What kind of boyfriend am I if I let you feel unwanted?” Your heart skips a beat as he grips tight at your other leg, then you’re suddenly weightless for a second as he hoists you up to his waist.

“We just ate—”

“I don’t plan on letting that stop me.” You let out a gasp as San traces the line of your jaw with his lips, hot breath spilling across your skin as he carries you from the kitchen. “Unless you want it to?” This damned man knows what he’s doing, he knows the hold he has over you — your brain is already turning into a foggy mess of want, and even the prospect of waiting two minutes for him to lay his hands on you is too much to bear. Your nails drag across his shoulders, tugging at the thin material. He misses the doorknob to your bedroom thanks to your antics, sending you against the wood a little harshly and forcing the air out of your lungs. “Sorry, sorry.”

“Still on the pill.”

“Hm?” he echoes, managing to turn it right on the second try and popping it open properly.

“I’m still on the pill,” you repeat. San freezes in place to stare at your face. You bring a hand around to toy at his parted lips with your thumb. “So you can fuck me raw.”

San becomes so dumbstruck that his jaw moves up and down over and over without any semblance of noise coming out.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me come in my pants like a horny teenager,” he says under his breath. You drop your head back and laugh. San’s hold on you feels so blissfully warm. You didn’t even have time for this during the semester, sometimes thanks to your workloads but more often thanks to sheer exhaustion. A few solo jaunts before bed are hardly enough to please you the way San does. Based on how tightly he’s gripping your ass, he seems to feel exactly the same.

“It wouldn’t be the first time.”

He manages to get you both to the bed without further incident, laying you down on the mattress with a sort of reverence that makes your chest swell with emotion. Even through the barrier of clothing, his fingers are hot and sear a path from your hips up your waist then right back down again as San wastes no time in stripping you of your pants. 

“I missed you so fucking much it’s insane.” You want to respond, but the sight of your lover dropping to his knees at the foot of the bed stops you in your tracks. All you can do is lie there and watch him tug your pants off, lips moving to kiss each bit of exposed skin along the way. Goosebumps rise across your body when he kisses his way up higher. His broad frame cages you in the closer he gets to your face, and despite his hands being on the somewhat small side, they feel all-encompassing when they’re sneaking under your shirt and exploring the skin beneath.

“I missed you more,” you murmur, catching his chin between your fingers and angling his face upwards so you can properly look at him. “I love you so so much, San. More than I can put into words.”

“Yeah?” You make no effort to pull him higher although he moves as though you do and climbs all the way up to be right over your face. He hums before dipping down to kiss the corner of your mouth. “I think I’ve missed you more still though—” another kiss, this time to the opposite side of your mouth “—but you’re welcome to challenge me on that.”

“San,” you whine. He pulls back and sits back on his knees. Your brain goes totally blank watching him take his shirt off. It’s something you’ve seen time and time again, truly nothing new or foreign to you, but something about it now makes your gut twist in on itself. He’s lost a bit of the muscle you’ve grown accustomed to seeing on him, now softer around the edges, at the waist and across his stomach. It doesn’t curb your desire for him in the slightest; if anything it makes you want him more, to cling to him tighter and feel him firmer against you.

He throws the shirt down to the floor and drags a hand through his dark hair. His legs are splayed around yours, putting the prominent bulge in his pants on full display before you.

“I want you to use me, y/n.” He grabs your hand from where it’s resting against the bed and brings it to his chest. You dig your nail into his flesh like it’s second nature to do so. “Tonight, for your pleasure.” His eyes trail after your every moment, watching as you sit up and pull your legs out from under him. You graze the underside of his dick ever so slightly yet it’s still enough to make his lashes flutter. 

“Then…” San is like putty in your hands, conforming to every move you make while still maintaining that unbreaking eye contact. He turns with you, and you climb off the bed to stand despite feeling seconds away from toppling over. All it takes is the slightest push against his chest for him to lie flat on his back. “Will you be good for me?” 

His response comes in the form of a bitten-back whine thanks to you cupping the bulge of his cock as you withdraw your hand. It’s intoxicating to strip him of his jeans and feel every inch of his pretty tapered waist. You urge him to move further up on the bed, making room for you between his legs once you’ve tossed his pants down beside yours on the floor. The tip of his cock peeks out the top of his underwear, already stiff and leaking precum onto the elastic band. Saucy nudes here and there don’t do him nearly enough justice, you think. You tease just the bit of him that's exposed with your tongue, licking at the sensitive and swollen head, and he twitches beneath the fabric. Humming to yourself, you inch his underwear down just far enough to put his whole member on display, along with his balls, but you don’t go any further than that. It’s enough for you to get your mouth around him, after all, and that’s exactly what you do without giving San any time to brace himself for the touch.

He lets out a desperate moan the moment your wet heat envelopes his length, fingers curling into his palms around the comforter. His hips twitch with the desire to thrust upwards, but he keeps himself firmly planted on the bed, fulfilling his end of the bargain for you and being so delightfully good. The weight of him on your tongue isn’t nearly enough; you want him buried deep inside you as soon as possible, and you’d go on and do it now if you didn’t think it would hurt like a bitch given how long it’s been since you’ve taken him. San isn’t distracted enough to miss the way you retract a hand to touch yourself, and he fights to speak through broken moans.

“I w-wanna touch you, pretty.” You lift yourself off his cock until just the tip sits on your lower lip.

“I’ll let you later when I ask you to fold me in half and fuck me into the mattress.” You sink two fingers into your hole, taking San back into your mouth to revel in that full feeling again. You’re just as needy as he is, in reality, because your walls are already coated with arousal and it pools around the base of your fingers in such a way that it makes your cheeks flush. San’s noises aren’t helping in the slightest — for as quiet as he is in day-to-day life, he is ever so vocal when it comes to sex, especially when his cock is buried in your mouth. He’s just long enough to push right into the back of your throat, making it far easier for you to take him fully. 

“Your mouth feels so — fuck, fucking good, baby.” If you weren’t preoccupied, you would love to return his words with your own, so you settle for tugging at his balls a little. It earns you a delightful little yelp, and his hips buck up to drive his dick further into your throat than expected. “Hngh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“I want—” you don’t finish your train of thought, too rushed to bother with it as you scramble to rid yourself of your underwear. San greets you with his hands when you climb back onto the bed and grabs hold of your waist. He tugs and pulls at your shirt until it’s gone too, leaving you with nothing more than your plain black bra. However, even that San seems to find issue with, because he toys with the clasp until it comes loose and throws that aside too.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs, settling back against the mattress. He’s always told you this is his favorite position, to see you straddling his hips and bouncing on his cock, though he favors missionary quite a bit as well because it lets him see your body and face while he’s fucking you (despite how much he loves your ass). His cock is trapped between your pussy and his stomach now, hard and throbbing for the same kind of stimulation you so desperately crave. You drag your folds along his length a few times just to tease San, but he grips your hip in warning. In hindsight, you should have let him finger you open more before because the stretch is far more than you remember — not enough to hurt, but enough for you to really feel every inch of him entering your body. It makes you writhe atop him, your spine arches, and you drop your head back. San holds you like you're a precious gem, thick arms circling around your waist as you rest your hands on his chest. The position gives you some much-needed stability, but San's fingers have begun to get severely distracting. He rolls his thumbs into your skin, pausing only to squeeze and pinch at the more sensitive parts of your sides. 

“I’m gonna start moving,” you whisper like being too loud will break some sort of seal. San nods and unwraps his arms enough to simply hold your hips. Despite the decrease in definition of his muscles, his strength doesn’t seem to have gone anywhere, because he lifts you with such ease that it’s a bit dizzying. Still, he lets the control rest in your hands. You sink down slowly on his cock, letting your walls get used to the drag, before doing the same motion two, three more times. The first whimper to fall from your lips is what snaps your resolve. San’s hold on you remains firm but only to ease the strain on your thighs as you begin to pick up your pace. 

“Beautiful, beautiful, you’re so beautiful, my sweet.” San rolls his hips up in time with your movements, driving his cock up into your cunt as you drop yourself onto him, and it reaches so deep inside you that you see stars behind your eyelids. “Missed you so much, missed this, seeing your body through photos wasn’t enough — fuck, it wasn’t enough.”

“How many, ah, times did you come to those photos, hm?” You crack one eye open to watch San’s face. He’s already flushed with want, but the red in his cheeks deepens more upon hearing your question. You lean your weight further into your hands. “I fingered myself so many times thinking of you, Sannie. B-But, hngh, it wasn’t good enough. Not as good as your cock. Nothing… n-nothing feels as good!”

San thrusts up with more vigor now, all but taking over for you to go slack above him as he drives your hips down with his hands and pushes his length into you from the opposite direction. Then, suddenly, his movements falter and stutter to a halt, and he looks just as shocked as you are when his cock twitches against your walls. A blooming of warmth fills you right after, along with the realization that San has just come inside you without warning.

“I-I’m sorry, I — I didn’t mean to, ah, I thought I would last longer.” He slings an arm up over his eyes, and the red in his face deepens in hue. “I’m sorry, I should’ve let you come first.” You click your tongue against the roof of your mouth. Leaning down over him, you peel his arm away from his face so that you can see his shamed expression better.

“Your dick is far from the only thing that can make me come, babe. Right?” 

He nods a few times, but there’s still a pout on his lips. You kiss it away. 

“Then—” you detach yourself from his body, bringing about an unwelcome emptiness as his spent cock slips out of you, and roll onto your back beside him. He watches with rapt attention as you spread your legs and open your pussy to him. “Why don’t you?”

San moves with surprising haste for a man who has just come, rolling into the space between your legs, and while you expected him to just use his fingers to get you off, he hooks his hands around your thighs and shoves his face into your used cunt instead. It yanks a startled moan out of you, and it’s only amplified when he closes his lips around your clit. He’s lucky you don’t give him a concussion with how quickly you slam your thighs around his head. You don’t notice that he’s moved a hand until fingers are prodding at your leaking entrance and urging the come he just pumped into you back into your hole.

“O-Oh, San.” 

Normally, he takes his sweet time eating you out, bringing you to the precipice of orgasm before sending you right back down time and time again without release. Though, either out of lingering shame at coming early or simply out of a desire to make you unravel, San laps at your clit so eagerly that it sends shudders through you. You can feel your blood rushing lower as he urges you to come, walls clenching around his fingers. It only takes another second more for the first wave to hit you, and it makes you scramble to grab hold of San’s hair as he keeps curling his fingers over your sweet spot. He does so throughout each wave of your orgasm until tears burn the corners of your eyes and you’re all but pleading for him to grant you some mercy.

“You — you had nothing to prove, you know,” you say between desperate attempts to catch your breath. San giggles and looks up at you from his lewd position. “Ugh!” You shove his head away from you half-heartedly just to spare yourself more embarrassment.

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that, duck!”

You only go as far as the pillows, turning back to him immediately and opening your arms to welcome him into them. 

“I came too early, of course I had something to prove,” he adds once he’s snugly placed against your chest. You slot together like two pieces of a puzzle, his head under your chin and your breath stirring the messy strands of hair in your path. “I’ve fallen out of practice. When was the last time I did that? It’s embarrassing…”

You can’t contain your laughter.

“You always come a little early when I ride you.”

“That’s not fair!”

All you can do to soothe him is pat his head. You feel a tad sticky and gross all over, but San’s warmth more than makes up for it, and if you’re not careful, you’re certain you’ll fall asleep within minutes. A small sniffle coming from the man atop you chases thoughts of rest away in the blink of an eye though.

“San?”

“’m okay, promise.”

“You’re crying, baby, that’s not ”okay“.”

“I just,” he inhales and licks over his lips, skating across your sternum in the process. “I wasn’t sure I was gonna stay afloat without you.” You comb your fingers through his hair.

“Tell me when you need me and I’ll be there. Always.”

“I didn’t want to disrupt your schedule and get in the way.”

“You have to trust that I’ll take care of myself and my responsibilities even if I help you too. You always tell me that when I worry over the same things. It goes both ways, San, okay?”

“Okay.” He nods against you. “Okay, I’ll try to remember that. As long as you don’t lock yourself away when things get tough. Rely on me if you need strength. And talk to me when something is on your mind.”

“Alright, we have an agreement.” Out of nowhere, you remember Wooyoung’s suggestion from this morning. Picking at a stray piece of San’s hair, you mull over your thoughts some more. You could let things settle as they are now since things seem to be back to a pleasant state of balance. But even so, would it do any harm to try anyway? “I’d like to go on a first date again. With you. I want us to go on a first date again.”

“Hm?”

“Like… I want us to go out like it’s the first time all over again. And feel that excitement and giddiness we had back then. We don’t have to, it’s just a thought. I don’t know. Maybe it’d be a good thing after this semester.”

Silence overtakes the room. San’s breathing is so steady that you think he’s fallen asleep, but the second you try to shift and see his face, he tilts his head up and looks into your eyes.

“Alright. Let’s go on a first date again.”

…

“I figured we’d go to that little Thai place by the grocery before heading over to the Christmas light show?”

“Oh!” Your thoughts rearrange themselves around his words. “That sounds really nice, yeah.”

“The guys wanna meet up at Wooyoung’s after for chicken and beer, but I told them I’d leave the decision up to you.” He tilts his chin a bit to the side as he speaks, lips quirked up at the corners, and you find yourself so incredibly fond of him all over again.

“Let’s see how we feel after walking around.”

You offer to drive tonight, but he denies you quickly, whining about how he filled his tank full of gas just for tonight so you don’t push the matter any further than that (though, you still tease him a bit once he opens the passenger door for you). When he turns the car on, music starts blasting through the speakers, a song you recognize well, and the dash shows that he’s been listening to the playlist you made for him at the start of the last school year. 

“Sorry, forgot the volume was up so high.” He scrambles to twist the dial down, but you stop him with your hand, gripping his wrist lightly and giving a firm shake of your head.

“I didn’t realize you still listened to it. Normally you just have the radio going.”

“Ah, well,” San’s cheeks are a bit flush under the low lights of the car, “I suppose I’ve been feeling a bit sentimental these days.” His next move is a bit hesitant; he reaches across the console and lays his hand atop your thigh. You reassure him by putting your hand over his, fingers curling around his once again. It feels normal and familiar, though you can’t count on two hands the last time you’ve done something as menial as holding hands with San. 

“San?” He makes a noise of acknowledgment while watching the road. “I’ve missed you.” His nails dig into your flesh a little, and the pressure makes your heart clench in your chest.

“I’ve missed you more.” You can only see his side profile, but it’s enough for you to catch the upturn of his lips. 

“I’ve missed you most then.” The statement slips out through a pout. 

“And I love you more than the moon loves the ocean.”

The weight of his hand is comfort enough for you to be at ease for the rest of the drive.

────────────

please like & reblog this work and consider leaving a reply or sharing your thoughts in a reblog or ask!

this work belongs to caly / hongism (2023). do not copy, repost, or plagiarize in any way.

[joosthead]

We need more bottom joost content im so fucking serious…I need subby joost or I’ll explode RAUGHHHHHH

FUCK i love a subby man ... i fully agree we need more subby joost bc just look at him. guhh . anyways hope you enjoy these thoughts teehee it's genuinely filthy pls heed my warnings. also i'm unsure honestly if this is subby more than it is about edging and overstim but . send me another ask w more thoughts if you'd like something different as well < 3

₊˚⊹⋆ reader: nb!reader. lmk if i missed something and it's not nb, i will change accordingly!!

₊˚⊹⋆ cw: smut (unprotected sex, edging & overstim m!receiving), drunk sex (both drunk, but this is where edging comes in). send an ask if you need more details about this part <3

rpf ahead—don't like it, don't read it!! you've been warned. do not repost this on any other platform.

18+ only — explicit rpf content ahead, minors dni.

in general i feel like so much of his vibe is so pillow princey. he loooveess to lie down and take whatever you'll give him

he generally is a tease and loves being teased, and i think this is a huge part of his submissiveness—i won't pretend like i think he's the biggest subbiest sub ever with how fluid he is but i do think in every session together, he lurvsss some teasing and edging.

absolutely adores a handjob w edging. sunday morning and he's so so hard cuz he just woke up that way and he has to wake u up. you roll over and you're like "are you actually serious?" but you're not gonna let your baby suffer (and you tell him such, which makes him even harder). he doesn't know what's gotten into him—he's usually much stronger than this, usually the one pampering you, making you ask for it, but he fully turns so whiny when like this. in minutes, you have him moaning like a bitch, teasing him with your tongue but never actually taking him into your mouth; when he gets close, you cease your stroking of his cock, and watch as it's like his entire body reacts to it, and hear how labored and heavy his breathing gets when you've brought him to the precipice, but never over. a beautiful sight, his pink cheeks amidst his pale skin, the rosy color creeping down his neck and his chest and the leaking angry pink tip of his cock, wet and slick as you stroke him to completion.

loves being taken care of fsfs. being called pretty, handsome, pretty boy (this one especially). it's so serious for him. loves getting his ego stroked in all ways possible, but especially if he's on his knees for you.

it really never happens except for when you're drunk but. he fucking loves when ur both sloppy drunk and all you can really think is your own pleasure. there was one time you two came home from the club, kissed all the way up the stairs, you palming him through his jeans the entire way; then the moment you got him laid down on the bed, you rode him, got off, rolled over, and went to sleep. he had to jerk off by himself to get the edge off, looking at you next to him on the bed the whole time. in the moment, it was very (sad violin noises) but looking back on it—that drunk and frenzied look in your eyes, almost like you didn't care about him or his pleasure...it was so hot and a little part of him felt ashamed for thinking so.

but the shame never sticks around too often, never lingers. he knows you care about him, knows that it was just a symptom of one too many drinks and his hands exploring your body (i.e. your hips and ass) the entire night to make you use him the way you did.

drunk or not, i think his favorite occurrence is when you're riding him and he just gets to watch you lose it atop him, grinding back and forth on it. it may not be the most stimulating for him specifically. but seeing you use him, the only thought in your mind your own pleasure—he really loves it.

i don't think he'd be into being edged when you're actually fucking—the better alternative to being used like a toy is overstimulation. when he cums before you, there's something in his head that insists that he has to make you cum one more time before he can rest. then you say, "please, just a little more, joost," and he knows he has to do it. strangled, he says, "i can't, i can't do it anymore, schat," but he knows he should, sloppily thrusting into you before he gets soft, the pain of the overstimulation completely lost on him in the venture for your own pleasure.

i also have a lot of (good. great even) feelings about joost talking ab liking his ass eaten but idk if i can go that far here yet

i need him

[motherismotheringggg]

I see all the nose conversations and I raise a request of teaching him the right way to eat it… I’m talking submissive NAC nose play

sunday warmth

summary: see the request above, thanks to this lovely anon <3 (also inspired by this post)

type: dom! female reader x sub! nicholas chavez

tags/warnings: 18+, oral f! receiving, nose play, face sitting, face riding

author’s note: literally so sorry it took me so long!!!! i’m so excited to use this picture of him lmaoo ever since i saw it i KNEW it gave “sit on my face” vibes teehee!! also im loving all the sub! stuff, its so fun to write — anywhooo - enjoy <3

word count: 2556

🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞

The soft glow of Sunday morning filtered through the curtains, casting golden patches across the bedspread and illuminating the quiet intimacy of your time together. Nicholas lay beside you in a pair of gray sweatpants slung low on his hips, the casualness of the outfit somehow making him even more magnetic. The fabric clung to his thighs just enough to highlight his muscular build, leaving little to the imagination. Meanwhile, your pink silk nightgown draped softly over your body, the delicate material catching the light with every subtle movement. The smooth texture hugged your curves, accentuating your form with an effortless elegance that Nicholas couldn’t stop stealing glances at.

Nicholas held you close, arms wrapped around you as if anchoring himself to this moment, the world outside fading with each steady heartbeat pressed to yours. The warmth of last night lingered, sweet and drowsy, settling into your bones. His gaze, still hazy with sleep, held that same starry-eyed, adoring look that sent a thrill through your chest—a look full of quiet awe and devotion.

As you stroked a gentle hand down his back, he shivered, leaning into your touch with a soft sigh. He nestled closer, nose finding the familiar curve of your neck, breathing you in like something he needed. You felt his chest rise and fall, each breath syncing with yours in an unspoken rhythm. His voice came out low and drowsy, “God… I’m so happy right now. This just feels right.”

His hands traced light patterns along your spine, trailing down as if to memorize every inch. His lips brushed your shoulder in a featherlight kiss, lingering just long enough to send a ripple of warmth through you. He entwined his fingers with yours, squeezing gently, as if wanting to make this feeling last—just the two of you cocooned in the glow of morning.

You laughed quietly, the sound melting into the stillness as you ran your fingers through his hair. His eyes fluttered closed, shivering slightly at your touch. “Is that right?” you teased, placing a soft kiss on his forehead, then another on his cheek, lingering just a bit longer.

He tilted his head, eyes still hazy from sleep but shining with raw adoration that made your heart swell. For a moment, he seemed lost in your gaze, every kiss and gentle stroke pulling him further under a spell he didn’t want to break. His fingers drifted along your arm, almost shy, as he murmured, “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more.” His words, spoken so softly, lingered between you, settling like warmth against your skin.

You brushed your hand against his cheek, letting your thumb trail over the faint flush that bloomed there. His features, so boyishly handsome, softened under your touch. The light curve of his smile was irresistible, endearing in its gentleness, but it was his nose that truly caught your attention. It had a subtle upturn at the tip, a perfect balance of sharp and soft, giving him an air of youthful charm. When he smiled like that, his nose crinkled just slightly, and you couldn’t help but let your fingers trace its bridge, marveling at the small imperfections that made it so uniquely his. You swore you could get lost in the way his expressions shifted with every tender moment you shared.

Unable to resist him any longer, you leaned down, capturing his lips in a kiss. It started slow, light, and teasing, but the passion between you ignited quickly, the connection growing more heated with every passing second. Nicholas sighed into your mouth, his hand sliding down your back to pull your leg over him, his fingers pressing into your thigh as he deepened the kiss. His hands roamed your body with a hunger that sent sparks through you, trailing over your legs and settling on your ass, squeezing as he pressed his hips up against you.

The way he responded to you was intoxicating, and when you bit his lip just hard enough to make him wince, a shiver of satisfaction coursed through you. He whimpered softly, the sound so vulnerable yet so eager that it only spurred you on. Taking the lead as you loved to do, you kissed your way down his neck, your lips grazing his skin with deliberate intent. Each bite and kiss drew a soft gasp from him, his breath hitching with every movement. The feeling of his rapid heartbeat beneath your lips was a thrill you’d never get tired of.

You could feel him hardening against you, the heat of him impossible to ignore. With a sly grin, you let your hand trail down his body, fingers grazing over his stomach before moving lower to grasp at his growing arousal. But just as you began to tease him, Nicholas pulled back from the kiss, his forehead pressing against yours as his chest rose and fell in quick breaths.

“I love it when you take control,” he murmured, his voice trembling with honesty. “You always make me feel so good, but… I want to make you feel good, too.”

His words caught you off guard, and you raised an eyebrow, your expression shifting to a mix of curiosity and intrigue. “Oh?” you asked, your voice low and teasing, but he hesitated, his cheeks flushing deeper as he worked up the courage to clarify.

“I—” he began, his voice faltering slightly before he steadied himself. “I want you to sit on my face.”

The nervousness in his tone made your heart flutter, but there was also a determination in his gaze, as if he’d been holding onto the thought for a while, working up the courage to ask. You feigned a small smile, equal parts touched and intrigued. It was endearing to see your boyfriend so eager to please, his inexperience making his request all the sweeter. But you also felt a flicker of excitement buzz through you—this was new territory, and you loved the idea of teaching him, guiding him to explore something that left him vulnerable yet so eager.

“I know I’m… not exactly experienced,” he admitted, his words rushing out now, almost tripping over themselves in his nervousness. “But if you tell me what to do… I promise I’ll make you cum.” His voice was both shaky and firm, a mix of innocence and raw determination that made your heart race.

You didn’t respond with words, not immediately. Instead, you leaned down, cupping his face and pulling him into a kiss that was deep and unrelenting. Your tongue swept against his, the wet heat of the kiss making his soft whimper vibrate between you. When you finally pulled away, his lips were swollen, his breath coming in shallow pants as he looked up at you with wide, expectant eyes.

Without a word, you shifted to your knees, moving into position. Nicholas adjusted instinctively, sliding down on the bed to give you more space, his movements a little tentative but completely obedient. He watched you with a mix of awe and anticipation as you placed a knee on either side of his head, bracing your hands against the headboard.

Pausing momentarily, you glanced down at him, your lips curving into a smirk as you asked, “Ready?”

His answer came as a fervent nod, his hands already moving to rest on your thighs, fingers curling against your skin as though anchoring himself for what was to come. With a slow exhale, you shifted your weight, lowering yourself down. His hands tightened slightly, his breath hitching in anticipation as his lips met you, and the world seemed to melt away.

As you lowered yourself onto him, Nicholas let out a shaky breath, the warm air fanning against you and sending a spark of anticipation down your spine. His lips brushed tentatively at first, soft and careful, but when you gave a subtle buck of your hips out of pleasure, he took it as encouragement. His tongue darted out, the wet heat of it drawing a quiet gasp from your lips. You pressed down just a little more, shifting to guide him, and his hands gripped your thighs tighter, his touch equal parts grounding and desperate.

“Good boy,” you murmured, your voice low but commanding, and you felt the way he responded instantly, his body tensing under you like he’d been waiting to hear those words. His nose bumped against your clit as he adjusted, and you grinned, biting your lip at the delicious friction it caused.

You leaned into it, tilting your hips so that his nose pressed against you more firmly, dragging along sensitive skin in a way that made you shudder. “Mmm, just like that,” you breathed, one hand sliding down to grab his hair, tugging lightly. Nicholas whimpered at the motion, his eyes fluttering closed as his tongue moved with more confidence, following your lead, letting you set the rhythm and pace with each deliberate motion.

His nose brushed you again, and this time you couldn’t help the soft, breathy laugh that escaped you. “Oh, fuck baby you don’t even know how good that feels,” you teased, looking down at him. His cheeks were flushed, his lips glistening as he worked, his expression a mix of concentration and adoration. When his gaze flicked up to yours, his eyes dark and pleading, you could have sworn you felt a rush of heat straight to your core.

“Look at you,” you cooed, tightening your grip on his hair just enough to make him groan, the sound muffled against you. “So eager to please, aren’t you? You love this, don’t you?” His response was immediate—another desperate sound vibrating against you as he nodded, the motion making his nose rub against you even more.

“Use it,” you instructed your tone firm but teasing, your hips grinding down to emphasize the point. He hesitated only for a moment before leaning into the pressure, the bridge of his nose pressing and dragging just right, sending sparks through your body. Your free hand braced against the headboard as you rode the rhythm he was building, his tongue and nose working together in a way that made your breath hitch and your legs tremble.

“You’re doing so good,” you praised, your voice breathier now as your control started to slip, but the satisfaction in his eyes as he glanced up at you kept you grounded. His hands slid higher, gripping your hips like he was trying to hold you in place, desperate to keep you exactly where you were, exactly how you liked it.

“Don’t stop,” you commanded, tugging his hair again, and he whimpered, his tongue circling with more urgency, his nose brushing insistently as if he were savoring every moment, every reaction. The friction was intoxicating, and you felt yourself teetering on the edge, your body tightening as you lost yourself in the way he worshiped you, utterly and completely.

“You’re such a good boy,” you grunted, grinding yourself harder against Nicholas’ eager mouth. Your hands moved without thought, grasping at your breasts, squeezing and teasing your nipples in pursuit of that electric high surging through you.

Nicholas barely pulled away, just enough to speak, his lips swollen and glistening. “I want to taste you when you finish,” he rasped, his voice thick with need. “Use me... please, just keep going until you cum.” The sheer desperation in his tone, the way he begged for your pleasure, sent another rush of heat through you.

The more you moaned, the more he hummed in agreement, the vibrations from his lips and nose against your sensitive core driving you wild. For Nicholas, being completely at your mercy wasn’t just about submission—it was about worship. He loved the way your power over him made him feel. The weight of your body on him, the way you dictated every movement, every breath he took; grounded him, filled him with purpose. The sounds you made, the look of ecstasy on your face—all of it told him he was doing exactly what you needed, and it drove him to want to give more. He craved the dynamic, that raw, unfiltered connection that came from surrendering completely to you.

Your breath grew heavier, the mounting pressure inside you building with every moment. Your moans filled the room, blending with the soft, pleased sounds Nicholas made beneath you. As you arched your back, gripping the headboard tightly with both hands, your thighs trembled against his face. Sensing your impending climax, Nicholas gripped your thighs firmly, anchoring you down against him, determined to take you over the edge.

The wave of pleasure that hit you was overwhelming, crashing through your body and leaving you gasping as you cried out his name. Your back arched further, your grip on the headboard was unrelenting as you rode out your high. Nicholas didn’t let up, his mouth and nose continuing to drive you through the aftershocks.

When your body finally stilled, he shifted beneath you, placing soft, reverent kisses along your sensitive womanhood, savoring every moment. His hands remained on your thighs, grounding you, his gentle actions a stark contrast to the intensity of the pleasure he’d just given you. "So perfect," he murmured against your skin, his voice tender and full of admiration.

As your breathing slowed and the tremors in your thighs began to fade, you shifted off of Nicholas, still kneeling on the bed. He looked up at you, lips flushed and glistening, his chest rising and falling with deep breaths. Bending down, you captured his mouth in a kiss, tasting yourself on him. The kiss was fervent, eager—every bit of his passion poured into it. All he wanted was to make you cum, and he had. Thoroughly.

When you finally pulled back, your fingers grazed his cheek, and he leaned into your touch, his doe eyes wide and shimmering with affection. A soft, satisfied smile spread across his face as if he’d just conquered the world. You could see the anticipation there, the way he craved your approval, your words.

“You’re my good boy,” you murmured, and his face lit up, the praise washing over him like sunlight. His lips parted, and you could almost hear his heart racing. That spark of pride and excitement quickly overtook him, and before you could say another word, he shifted with surprising strength, using just one arm to ease you down onto the bed. His body hovered over yours, his lips crashing onto yours with a heated kiss that made you gasp and giggle against him.

“Nick!” you shrieked playfully, your laughter mingling with his as he buried his face in your neck, peppering kisses along your skin. His weight pressed against you just enough to remind you of the intimacy you’d shared, yet not overwhelming. His hands roamed your sides, your legs tangling together as you held him close, neither of you wanting the moment to end.

The rest of the Sunday blurred into one long, uninterrupted wave of warmth and bliss. You stayed wrapped up in each other, sharing soft kisses, whispered praises, and tender touches. Time seemed to stretch in that golden morning light, the world outside fading entirely as you indulged in each other’s presence. Nicholas was yours, utterly and completely, and as he held you close, you knew there was nowhere else either of you would rather be.

[shroomdreams]

Oh I loved your sub Dan Heng post, could I get something similar for Sunday? Gn reader please and thank you xoxo

Fear And Delight (All The Way Though The Night)

Sub!Sunday x Dom!GN!Reader (NSFW UTC)

A/N: BARK BARK BARK GRRRR RUFF RUFF SUBDAY SUBDAY SUBDAY

I actually think Sunday's a switch. Depending on his mood, he'd either be dominant or want to submit to his s/o if he's had a particularly off day.

He's actually a bit of a bratty sub. He'd get snippy with you, telling you to do this and that as if was the one in control... But it's just a ploy for you to put him in his place and remind him that you're the one in control (for now.)

There's a specific length of ribbon he purchased just for you to tie him up in all these intricate patterns. Paired with his comments, this was the perfect combination for you to absolutely wreck him. Make sure to pay attention to his nipples as well! Suck them, bite, tug- This is the fastest way of getting Sunday to start whining

His WINGS. TUG AT THEM. LIGHTLY. You know how birds scratch each other's back when they want to mate?? There's also a similar thing for halovians! Sunday's cock twitches when you lovingly stroke his head, whimpering for you to cease this endless teasing

But you don't give in easily. Oh no no! You cover your hand in lube and grab his cock, not moving your hand. Sunday instinctively starts rutting into your closed fist, eagerly fucking himself to your hand. Just before he reaches his high, you cruelly open your palm and watch as your boyfriend's cock weeps precum, hearing him cry out desperately as his hips buck upwards in an attempt to seek out stimulation

You repeat this process a few times before Sunday starts actually crying out tears, babbling for your mercy. Satisfied with his submission, you'd fix your hair as you wrap your lips around his dick, Sunday gasping out in gratitude as you start bobbing your head up and down. Due to your preparation, Sunday cums quickly, whining as you gulp down his release

But that's not the end of it. Sunday moans as you sink down on his cock, thanking you as you start bouncing up and down. You laugh, calling him cute as your hole sucks him in.

(AFAB) You lean over and push your breasts in his face, telling him to suck on your nipples as a treat. He eagerly does so, lips wetting your nipple as you moan in approval. You harshly slam your hips down, Sunday's eyes rolling back as he cums again, this time his cock snuggled in your walls.

(AMAB) You stroke your cock as you bounce up and down, chuckling as Sunday stares at you. Sunday cums first, filling your ass with his release. Cum drips down from your hole as you jerk your cock in front of his face, asking him to return the favor from earlier. Sunday opens his mouth just in time for you to cum deep inside his throat

By the end of it, you have one happy, fucked up angel hugging you as you put away the ribbons

[hauntedwitch04]

Fallen angel

Priest!Remus Lupin x reader

Words: about 1.8k words

Warnings: smut, corruption kink, swearing, kinda voyeurism, not proofreaded

Author’s note: Hi loves! New day new kink, hope you like it, your witch Becky

Requests are open I Ask

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KINKTOBER ...........-..........KINKTOBER TAGLIST 2023

DAY 14: Innocence

Remus knows it is wrong, but sinning has never been sweeter.

You came for Mass as you did every Sunday, together with your family. Remus always took a few minutes to look at you as you sat in the front row, in your usual cream and powder-pink dress, your little white shoes and the pink headband in your hair. If he hadn't known better, the young priest would certainly have thought you were an angel.

Throughout the mass he tried never to look at you, knowing that he would then have to hide a very obvious erection that would be very difficult to explain.

You are his forbidden dream and his most terrible perversion.You, with your air so graceful and your soul so good, were the one who would make even a saint sin, and Remus is convinced of this. There is no mortal soul according to him who would not think of your lips, your breasts, your legs in a sinful way.

Once the sacred service was over and the faithful were greeted, Remus headed for the confessional, knowing that a couple of people would be coming in seeking absolution. Usually he was not the one to hear confessions, but Father James, who, however, due to commitments could not do so today, so he had asked Remus to do so. At that thought he could not help but smile, thinking how he could ever grant absolution, when at night she often dreamed of you, as he fucked you, as you lay naked on top of the church altar.

Remus has been sitting in the confessional for a while, listening to people's sins and assuring them that God would forgive them if they showed a willingness to absolve themselves, when he decides to leave since there are other things to do and it has been several minutes since anyone came in after the last one who had come in, a man who had cheated on his wife with his sister.

The moment he is about to leave that cramped space, however, he hears your voice caressing the air.

"Father James, I should confess." You say in a voice slightly louder than a whisper.

Remus knows it is wrong the shiver that runs down his spine as he feels the sensation of desire growing inside him. He sits back as he wonders whether to tell the truth or to lie and pretend to be his friend, knowing that this would only be the beginning of the series of sins he would be thinking and doing, moments from now, imagining you kneeling beside him.

"Go ahead my child." Whispers the young priest as he imitates his colleague's voice.

"Father, I have sinned. The devil has taken me by the hand and led me down an evil road." You comment as you wring your hands.

"What have you ever done that is so terrible? You are an angel on earth, you cannot disappoint the Lord." Remus comments, as he feels his pants getting tighter and tighter, in imagining your lips inches away from his lap, separated only by a thin perforated wooden panel.

"I've been thinking about so many wrong things." You pause for a moment and then ask a question. "Father, if I tell you, you will never tell anyone right?"

"Of course angel, no one but me, you and Our Lord will ever know what you are going to tell me." Remus says, trying to reassure you; you nod and go on.

"Father, the other night I had a dream-a sex dream. I was-I was with this boy and he was touching my whole body, then his hands stopped...right there." You say, and Remus immediately closes his eyes, throwing his head back, praying himself not to come at that same moment in his pants.

"It was probably all because of that movie my friend showed me where there's a sex scene, since I've never been intimately with any man, but here's that's not the worst part."

"Oh no?" Remus asks, instinctively, as he feels his self-control slipping through his fingers as he puts his hand on the button that fastens his pants.

"No, because then when I woke up...here I didn't really know what I was doing, but I felt that I was very wet in my underwear and I didn't understand why."

"God child, what have you done?" Remus comments under his breath, not thinking you could hear him as he pulls his cock out of his pants and begins to massage it, since by now the erection was becoming too painful.

"Yes father, I know I sinned a lot, I know because then I did something I'm very ashamed of. I touched myself down there, and-and I think I gave myself pleasure." You confess, your voice almost on the verge of tears. Remus tightens his hand around your cock as he takes a deep breath and stops his movements, knowing that if he continued he would come in seconds.

"What exactly did you do my dear? How did you touch yourself?" Remus asks in a rough voice as he hears you fidgeting on the other side of the grate.

"But Father, I would sin one more time if I repeated it out loud." You comment frightened, as you feel your white panties getting wet again, under the pink skirt you wear.

"No my child. God, and I, need to know what exactly you have done, to absolve your sins, of course." You try to explain Remus convincingly. A few seconds of stalemate pass before you respond.

"You are right Father, I am so foolish. I'll tell you what I did then." You say, in a tone of conviction, before being interrupted again by the young priest.

"I think though if you just told it you might forget some things, and we definitely don't want something like that to happen right?"

"No Father, absolutely not. What do you recommend I do then?" You ask eager to please the priest.

"Why don't you try to do again what you did that night, too. Try touching yourself the same way you gave yourself pleasure as you tell me about it, try thinking about who you were thinking about that night as you came on your fingers." Remus says, and you feel a shiver run down your spine as hesitantly a hand immediately goes to the hem of your skirt. You spend a few seconds assessing the situation and then decide to do as Father advises, so you bring your right hand inside your white panties, and with one finger you brush your pussy, feeling how wet it is. This slight gesture of yours makes you moan, and Remus can't help but imagine you under him as you make all those lovely sounds.

"That's right, keep touching yourself while you tell me how you sinned bimbo." Remus says, taking his erection back in his right hand as some pre-cum slides from the tip to the base. The sensitive tip of his cock feels the drafts of air coming in through the small door in front of him, and he can't help but think those are the correspondence of your labored breathing.

"I put my hand in my panties, and with my middle finger I began to caress my..."

"Say it my child, don't be ashamed, it's more than natural."

"About my pussy. Slowly I started to move my finger around, to see if it really feels as much pleasure as it said in the movie, and that's how I found out that it does, but it takes time. Then after a few minutes of touching her, I tried to stick a finger inside."

"Did you like it?"

"Not so much at first, then after a few times I was going back and forth, like he did in the movie, I started to like him a lot, however I couldn't get to the pleasure." You continue, while touching yourself in the same way you are telling it, however the pleasure this time comes much faster than the first time, as you already feel on the verge of orgasm.

"And how did you get to orgasm baby?" Remus asks, as he knows he too is getting closer and closer to reaching the pinnacle of pleasure.

"I imagined it was someone else doing those things on me." You confess shyly between moans. Your hand is completely wet, and your fingers are also cramping, but you don't care.

"And who were you thinking of?"

"To Father Remus. "You whisper in a low voice as a wave of embarrassment washes over you. "Father James please absolve me, please remove this stain from my soul, I cannot live knowing I will end up in the clutches of Mephistopheles." You pray as your fingers quicken.

"Cum. And I will absolve you my child, come now my little fallen angel." Remus says, before coming himself with powerful spurts, in his own hand, as he imagines you convulsing after your orgasm, your plump lips wide open as you moan and your sinful chest poking out of your dress.

At the same time you come around your fingers, moaning and rolling your eyes in pleasure as you feel every muscle in your body contract and relax without you having control over anything.

"Father am I absolved?" You ask with bated breath, as you adjust your skirt, and try to make yourself presentable again. Remus struggles to catch his breath too, especially as he thinks back to the final confession you made: you think of him when you have to give yourself pleasure.

Part of him would like to console you by saying that he is not just thinking about the other person to get to orgasm, but knowing that this is not the case, he decides to adopt another technique.

"Of course my dear, no sin stains your candid soul anymore, just a piece of advice. Just the next one I advise you to go and report these kinds of sins and problems directly to Father Remus, he is a very open-minded man who specializes in the kind of problem you have child."

"What is my problem, Father?" You ask fearfully.

"I think it's really a sex demon, angel." At Remus's words you wince, but he immediately heartens you. "Don't worry baby, he's very good and will know how to help you, but it's important that you don't tell anyone about your condition, okay?"

"Of course Father James, thank you for the advice, I will go right away and talk to Father Remus tomorrow."

"Good, very good my sweet fallen angel." He says, before saying goodbye and hearing you leave.

TAGLIST

@digitalhearts @yomomsgf @samanddeansannoyingsis @minkiles @forsiriussake @thedogisontopofyhecarmom @estrellademiel @ash04w3 @shitidksstuff @ohemgeewhat @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @kidsaproblem @that1nerd20 @the-house-of-rose-and-ember @hi-my-name-is-riley @morganalatina21 @nightfiress @shodowbane09 @theyluvtrinity21 @harleycao @starsval @shhdontlookk @titinkaaa @sapphire118 @xbugsyx @newtdumbledoorstarksoot @holb32 @afcnds @deanwinchestersgirl87 @aunicornmademedoit @AlohaStitch0626 @biahz1

[lexirosewrites]

Slick Sunday submission! (I started typing out a full entry and it was getting... way too long so I'm gonna tl;dr it, lol)

Alpha Steve, who has always felt off and wrong in his body, wishing he was actually born an omega.

Post Upside Down battle, Steve and Eddie start hanging out and by extension the CC boys. They all become extremely close, and after a night of too many drinks and too many passes of a joint, Steve admits to his deep seated dream of becoming an omega. Lucky for him, Eddie and the rest of the CC boys have both completely become infatuated with Steve in the months they've been spending time with him, and as chance happens, they all happen to be alphas who are more than happy to make the dream a reality by spending a whole weekend taking turns to see if the rumors of bitching an alpha to an omega actually works (it does and Steve comes out of a crazy weekend a month later as a happy omega with 4 new boyfriends)

yes!!! more corroded king for me (and steve)!!!🥰

(thanks for another lovely slick sunday everyone! and don’t forget to look out for the monday wrap-up post in the evening tomorrow since i start teaching full time and won’t be able to make it until I’m home)

[princessbrunette]

modern!anakin with a breeding kink and you’ve been acting up because you have too much energy so he just fucks the energy out of you while fucking his babies into you 😵‍💫

i just rawred

you’ve got waaaay too much energy — and anakins had a long week, and hasn’t been able to meet it. he’d be coming home each night, running a hand through his curly hair that had been flattened by his cap, dropping back on the couch with his head tipped back and wrists over his eyes after a long day at work whilst you practically run circles around him, rambling. he loves it, he loves you — but he’s just been so tired.

but now it’s the weekend.

saturday came, and he finally got to sleep in. only, to be awakened by you clattering about in the kitchen, before promptly running in and asking him to get up so he could reach something off the top shelf for you. he was well rested by the end of the day, mostly, but you were still in hyperdrive — firing questions at him as you lay beside eachother that night until he had to tell you “baby. i’m tired. no more talking, yeah?”

maybe he sounded a little stern, or maybe he wasn’t gentle enough — because he had to watch the way your lip curled as you nodded, rolling over and instantly ‘going to sleep’. you knew you were hyper, and knew you were being, well — a lot — but you’d just missed him extra this week when he’d been so busy with work. he sighed, running a hand across his jaw before leaning over and kissing the back of your head to let you know he wasn’t mad. you didn’t roll over to cuddle him that night.

sunday came, and now he had energy. you were still running around, chaos incarnate — but this time you were avoiding him. hell, he even heard you talking to yourself in the kitchen rather than talking to him. he sighed, walking in. it was hard to ignore him. he looked good, black tshirt and black cargos that fit him just right, tongue running over his snakebite piercings. you faced the counter, going to turn away but he catches your arm anyway.

“come on, crazy.” he nods in his direction anyway, and you let him tug you lightly even if you were aggressively pouting, guiding you to the bedroom.

he’s kissing you, all over — which would be sweet, but there’s a roughness to his hands, manhandling you in a way that leaves you a little awestruck. “can give you what you need today. that alright with you, miss attitude?” he chuckles and you nod feverishly — letting him undress you as you start to melt into that warm submissive space. you weren’t expecting this, but god were you craving it.

after making you cum on his fingers, and then his tongue, he’s got you in a mating press — swollen, overstimulated pussy sucking him in greedily as he rolls his hips into yours, gripping them to pull you on and off him. you cry, cheeks already sodden with tears and he shakes his head and kisses your cheeks, only fucking you harder.

“i don’t want your tears today, pretty girl. i just want you to sleep well tonight.” he grumbles in your ear and you whine, the both of you knowing you were gonna cry anyway, mostly because you felt so well looked after. “you’re doing good sweetheart, just a little more yeah? need to make sure you’re out for the count. this is what you wanted huh?” he sits up a little on his knees so he can use his hips to really get in there, holding your legs up to make sure he’s hitting the right spot. your brows furrow and jaw drops and he nods to himself. “atta girl, nearly there. you gonna be my calm, well behaved, good girl after this? after i pump some babies up in there?” his voice gets a little more desperate and you know he’s close.

“mhm! please!”

“alright baby, alright. give me one more then. there you go.” he soothes his coarse thumb over your clit and rubs you— making sure you get one last go before he fills you to the brim.

[rivriderart]

Howdy! I'm doing simple sketch commissions again in anticipation of Anime NY at the end of the month! Unlimited slots for the next two weeks, and closing Sunday night, September 18th.

My usual content restrictions apply for these commissions. I overhauled my Carrd to include content restrictions and a terms of service this year, so check that out if you're unsure about a submission! You can also always drop a line here to ask questions as well.

If you're interested, here's where ya can order commissions!

SFW COMMISSIONS (Ko-fi) NSFW COMMISSIONS (Form)

Additionally, if you wanna be Cool B) and Epique, you'll get $10 off your commission if it includes any of these characters. I don't know how to offer a discount entirely on that basis, so I just made it an alternate option on Ko-fi and something you can describe on my forms.

SFW COMMISSIONS (Faves, Ko-fi)

[cuckolding-books-library]

A LESBIANIZED TOWN

=====================

Most people didn't pay much attention to the opening of Tricia's and Naomi's women-only massage studio in the small town of Sanford Hills. The number of costumers peaked quickly, though. The comments posted in the studio's website were uniformly positive and included sentences such as "A life changing experience," "A wonderful, sensual session", "Exactly what I had been missing all my life" and "If you haven't yet visited their studio, you are missing the most wonderful things a woman can experience in her life." Most costumers also advised their friends to visit the studio.

If Tricia and Naomi hadn't advised their costumers to be very discreet and cautious, the massage studio would have been a source of scandal among the inhabitants of the town. The local preacher caught his sister-in-law kissing a woman who had got married at his church a few months before, and in his next sermon he advised his parishioners to be vigilant against the worrisome trends of "unnatural closeness" between women. This was not only followed by a sharp drop in attendance to Sunday mass, but also by a harsh scolding from his wife and his own brother advice to be more open minded.

"Ladies night" at the local pub became "Ladies only night". At first, male costumers tried to oppose the pub owner's decision, but after their initial reluctance, male costumers accepted the new rules without much ado.

There was a sharp spike in demand for couples therapy, and rumours of sexual dissatisfaction from wives. Some couples, sought the advice of one the two male marriage counsellors of the town. The more religious couples, sought the advice of their pastor. Irrespective of whose advice they sought, husbands were told to do anything to make their wives happy.

There was a short lasting peak in the local divorce rate, but the couples that divorced were only the peak of the iceberg, compared with the number of couples whose life was changed forever after the opening of the massage studio.

Your wife, for instance, was one of Tricia's and Naomi's first costumers, one of the first to beg them to finger-fuck her, one of the first to post one of the "life changing experience" comments, one of the first costumers to lick Naomi's pussy. But, most of all, your wife was one of the first to invite over one of the lesbianized wives and to ask her to stay over as you slept in the guest bedroom. However, she cannot claim to be the only one who has blatantly cuckolded her husband with another woman, in her own house, in her own master bedroom, in her own marital bed; the list of competitors is larger than the inhabitants of the town would dare to believe.

Although you probably aren't very proud of it, you were one of the first hubbies of Stanford Hills cuckolded by a lesbian, one of the first trained to serve a lesbian couple and one of the first to wait hand and foot on the women who went to the pub on the "Ladies-only nights". Your wife followed Tricia and Naomi's advice to the letter, "your hubby will never be able to give you the intense orgasms you will experience with women, but properly trained hubbies can still be useful. Once they become cuckolds, once they accept that they are no longer allowed to rule their wives' sex life, or to even comment on it, they can make very good and very submissive servants, whose only aim in life will be making their wives' life easier."

You were not the only one, though. The long list includes your two brothers… but also the two male marriage counsellors of the town. You even heard rumours about the preacher's wife, and one of the rumours is that she and a close female friend of her love to peg him. In one of his most recent sermons he said, "a husband who fails to support his wife friendship with another woman isn't keeping his marital vows and, because of this, he's a sinner." But maybe you'll learn very soon if the rumours have some foundation; the pastor's wife has invited your wife and you over ...

[bestmusicalworldcup]

Best Act I Finale Song Tournament

As a prelude to the Best Musical World Cup 2024, this tournament will find the best Act I Finale song in musical theater.

The tournament begins on 8 October 2023.

Details on the tournament format are here.

Submissions are now closed!

Additional notes: If a musical has had multiple Act I Finales over the course of its history, all of them will be eligible to compete. If a musical's Act I Finale is not a song but a scene, than I will accept the last song performed in Act I. Finales of one act musicals are not accepted.

List of Entrants below the read more link.

One Day More Defying Gravity Nonstop Why We Build the Wall Tonight (Quintet) All I Ask of You Reprise La Vie Boheme Ever After The Ball Coda (Act I Finale) My Own Best Friend Esmeralda Father to Son Tomorrow Belongs to Me A Little Priest Climb Ev'ry Mountain So Much Better Memory (Prelude) Happy Ending Blackout Bottom's Gonna Be On Top I Believe Marry Me A Little Elephant Love Medley Alive Reprise Bad Idea A Light in the Dark Santa Fe The Torture Tango The Last One You'd Expect Morning Glow The Night Belongs to Us Before the Parade Passes By Along Came Bialy Tomorrow Is Anthem Till We Reach That Day Je dors sur des roses Gold Damned For All Time/Blood Money Sunday Day-O (The Banana Boat Song) Our Love is God Journey to the Past Killer Quest! Singin' in the Rain Impossible/It's Possible One Seventeen Your Wagon is on Fire Status Quo Run Away! I Am What I Am Act I Finale (Urinetown) A New Argentina Loser Geek Whatever Upgrade This World Will Remember Us The Riddle The Impossible Dream Tonight Belongs to You Momma, Look Sharp Jimmy Autumn/Finale You're Nothing Without Me Me Myself and I You Will Be Found The Name of Love and Moonfall Who I'd Be If I Can't Love Her Out of My Dreams Final Storm Ich Gehör Nur Mir Reprise Fearless Finale Erster Akt Right This Way Now You Know Hell to Your Doorstep Dear Friend Stronger Soliloquy Be Back Soon One Day It's My Life The Gods Love Nubia Wie wird man seinen schatten los Sirens Somebody Will Do Something I Hope I'd Give My Life For You Aimer Natalya Daffodils The Beauty Underneath Pretty Funny Rush of Blood to the Head Starlight Express Say it Somehow Toledo Surprise A Man's Gotta Do (Reprise) I Got Rhythm What is it About Her? Defense Comfort and Joy Let it Go Just for Tonight It Must Be Believed to Be Seen Full Disclosure (Part 2) Until Tomorrow Monsters and Men Bright New Day Night of Our Lives Bugsy Malone (Reprise) It's A Grand Night for Singing The Trolley Song Cookies Woman Is Falling into You Before I Gaze At You Again Different I'm the Bravest Individual Crazy World A Blank Piece of Paper On the Verge My Favorite Time of Year The Plagues Bamboleo/There's a Tale Sunflower Bedknob Spell (Reprise 4) Interrogation Room / 취조실 / 取調室 It Is Not True! The Truth / 真相 Something is Starting to Change / 何かが変わり始めている

[princess-geek]

White Peonies (Part II)

Book: Desire & Decorum  

Series: Unspoken Desires (Modern Desire & Decorum AU)  

Summary: Another peek into the past, this time to lift the veil on Mary’s life and three generations of fascinating women of the Howard family. (Parte I here)

Main Pairing: Vincent Foredale x Mary Howard.  

Word Count: +/- 7572 words

Rating: General (but with light mentions to adult/violent situations, sickness and death).  

Notes: 💖English is not my first language. Please, excuse me for any typos /or grammatical errors. 💖Special thanks to @rosesnink for proofreading. 

💖 This is my submission for @choicesficwriterscreations ‘Fics of the week’  

On the previous chapter...

Hurting her finger, Mary snatched the ring and threw it at him. Her hand was bleeding, but what were a few scratches on a finger compared with the abyss that he had opened in her heart? 

Vincent took the ring from the floor. “Mary, my love, please, don’t do this.” 

“Don’t dare to call me that ever again! Get out of my house! Now!”

Vincent did as she had told him. Tears ran down his face as he collected his belongings. She couldn't look at him. 

As soon as he closed the door, Mary collapsed, crying her pain and screaming her fury. 

The young woman lost count of the hours she spent in that dark hole. When Mary came to her senses, she looked out the window and saw that it was a starry night. 

Her whole body hurt. As for her heart, Mary wasn't sure if it was there or not. She felt frozen. With great effort, she dragged herself from the floor to the sofa, covering herself with a blanket forgotten on the floor. It was impossible to return to the same bed where hours before they had worshipped each other and pledged their love. 

Mary didn't know if she had slept or not, but in the morning, she felt desperately hungry, despite not feeling like eating.  She tried to eat a couple of biscuits; however, her stomach didn’t hold them for long. 

At some point in the day, she heard Vincent at her door. He stayed there for hours, begging her to listen to him. Fortunately, a neighbour threatened to call the police if he didn't leave, and Vincent eventually did. This happened repeatedly all week. 

For days, Mary barely moved from the couch. When her tears dried up until the next round, lethargy took over her. 

Around the weekend, Mrs.  Lemay could persuade Mary to open the door. Although she had not read the article on Sunday, articles about the upcoming wedding multiplied in the newspapers over the week. 

She found her friend a wreck. Mrs.  Lemay was not going to allow the young girl to sink into heartbreak. She made Mary have a bath, changed the bedsheets, and cooked her a proper dinner. 

 

“Luckily, there is not a word about you. At least, you will not be publicly persecuted by this shadow forever.” Mrs.  Lemay tried to console her. 

“Screw my reputation.” Mary mumbled between spoons of soup. 

“Vincent was in my office looking for you, desperate for any information about your whereabouts.” 

“Screw him too! He was at my door several times. I am not interested in anything he has to say.” 

Thinking that it might bring Mary some peace, Mrs.  Lemay told her that there were rumours going around that the Foredale were broke and the marriage was purely a business deal, despite the excitement about the engagement in the magazines. 

“She’s a fat cat widow. It’s the tale as old as time: She gives the money, and he gives the title.” Mrs.  Lemay concluded.  

“It's always nice to know I am worth less than a couple of thousand pounds.” 

“If the rumours are true, he is being sold as a horse. It’s a pity.” Mary mumbled something unintelligible. “I know you are hurt and furious, I’d be too.” Mrs.  Lemay continued. “Nevertheless, this is all very odd, Mary. Vincent is in love with you in a way I've seen few people in love with someone. Since that night at St. James's, I have seen nothing in him but devotion to you. He'd rather lose an arm than make a scratch on you. I can't stop thinking there has to be a reasonable explanation for this.” 

“Of course there is. In that case, there are thousands of reasons… in her bank account.” Mary sulked. 

“He was not convinced when I claimed I couldn't help him. I’m sure he will keep trying to reach you, and I think you should give him a chance to explain himself. You might regret it if you don't,” Mrs.  Lemay insisted. 

“He betrayed my trust in him. I think I would rather have caught him in bed with her than this circus. He has been playing with me for months, like I was a doll. I won't be his or anyone else's doll.” Mary was adamant. 

“Anger and pain are not good advisors. You need to clear your head. Why don't you go spend a few days in your hometown? Some days away from London will help you organise your head and heart.” 

“I will not change my mind.” 

“You may not change your mind, but you need to think about what you're going to do from now on. Life doesn't stop just because your heart is broken.” 

Following her advice, Mary decided to spend a few weeks in Grovershire. 

Mrs.  Lemay was right. Leaving London didn't glue the pieces of her heart together. However, focusing on making repairs to her grandparents' cottage and garden made Mary find some serenity in the midst of the chaos. 

That house was full of so many good memories that even sadness gave her some respite. 

While she was cleaning up things in the kitchen, Mary found her grandmother's handmade 'Moka'. It was one of the few things that Elena had brought with her from Italy. 

“I only had three things in my suitcase: an old coat, the 'Moka' and the recipe book that I stole from my mother.” Elena told her granddaughter many times. 

When she was a little girl, Mary fascinatedly watched her grandmother prepare coffee there, as if it were a magical ritual. Her favourite part was sucking on the spoon after Elena added the sugar. 

It was the best coffee in the world, and Mary could still almost taste it. She ran to the grocery store to buy coffee beans. Replicating her grandmother's ritual made her feel really good for the rest of that day. 

Grovershire itself had little changed. Mary missed many familiar faces and came face-to-face with new ones in the neighbourhood. 

The new and old neighbours were curious about her extended stay, and, of course, theories about it soon emerged through the inhabitant’s small talk. To avoid uncomfortable questions, Mary said that her fiancé, Vincent Ford, had died in a car accident, and she was spending some time there to get herself together.  

Although it was a hoax, for her it was not entirely a lie. She really felt that the man she loved had died on that day. 

Right across the street, George Daly, her former classmate and neighbour, had married Pavarti, an Indian girl who had arrived there in their final year of high school. 

They weren't very close at that time, yet Pavarti was the first to go to the cottage to visit her. Although she was in the last trimester of her pregnancy, Pavarti helped in whatever way she could, especially in the garden. 

Between pulling weeds and planting flowers, there was time for long conversations. A deep friendship blossomed between the two young women. Pavarti was the only one who knew the truth about Vincent.  

George spent many days away because of his work, so it was common for them to cook together. One late afternoon, Pavarti was cooking dinner. Mary suddenly left the kitchen, without saying a word. Pavarti found her on the balcony. 

“If you don't feel like my fish curry and chips, just say so, you don’t need to run away from my kitchen. I have some roast lamb from the weekend in the fridge...” 

“I'm sorry, Pavarti, but I think I'll have dinner. I think the tea house's chocolate cake wasn't as fresh as it should have been.” 

“Are you sure it was just the chocolate cake? You barely touched it. In fact, you have barely eaten.” 

“Nerves are bad for my stomach. It has always happened to me since I was little.” 

“How long have you been feeling this way?” 

“I don’t know exactly, maybe for a few weeks now. Not just the stomach. Everything in me has been messed up since...that day.” Mary still had difficulties referring to the topic. 

“Have you considered the possibility of being pregnant?”  Mary looked at Pavarti as if she had uttered the most absurd of statements. Parvati went away for a while and came back with a small box in her hand. “Take it! You can do it here or at home, but the sooner you know, the better.” 

After spending most of the night looking at the little box, Mary did so. After the time stated in the instructions, the result appeared. She was so nervous that it took her some time to understand the meaning of the two lines. 

Becoming a mother was one of Mary’s dreams. They had planned a family. They joked about having a child born in that millennium and the next in the new one. They agreed on almost everything except where they would raise them. London was off the table. 

Now that dream was real, and Vincent wasn't there. And for the first time, she didn't want him there either. 

This was no longer just about her and her broken heart. On the one hand, she was terrified. It was impossible not to think about her mother's case. More than raising a baby alone, Mary was afraid that something would happen and prevent her from taking care of him or her. Unfortunately, the child would not be as lucky as she was. There were no loving grandparents to watch over her. On the other hand, finding out that a child was on the way was an unexpected comfort to her. No matter what twists and turns life had on its sleeve for her, Mary wouldn't be alone anymore. 

The blood tests confirmed her calculations. The baby would be born around November. 

“When will you tell the father the good news?” Pavarti asked her some days later. 

“I will not tell him.” 

“You should, and, deep down, you know you should. Who knows, maybe this is an opportunity for the two of you to find a way...” 

“If our love was not important enough for him to care and come to me and give a decent explanation for what happened, then I don't consider him important enough to be part of the baby's life.” 

“You are the one who didn't want to give him that opportunity!” Pavarti tried to reason with Mary. 

Mary knew she was contradicting herself, but the young woman was irreducible. Her wounded heart and pride only fuelled her stubbornness. “The wedding will be on May 2nd, do you think there is any point in doing or saying anything, Pavarti?” 

Mary told Mrs.  Lemay about her new situation. Although Mary's absence caused her inconvenience and money loss, she was the first to advise the singer to take a break to take care of the baby and herself.  

The music producers were not very happy with the news. Even though without stating it clearly, they implied that if the baby was her priority at the moment, she would lose the 'privileged place she had on their artists’ list'. 

Mary imagined that would happen. A woman with a baby was the eighth plague of Egypt. Now that she was so close, she was going back to square one. 

Baby Briar came into the world on Easter Sunday, keeping her busy while Pavarti recovered from the tough labour. Around that time, the symptoms of the first few weeks gave her a truce, and Mary began to feel better. 

The most difficult thing was the ban on coffee. When she felt like drinking coffee, Mary opened the ground coffee pot and smelled it until it satisfied her craving. 

Days later, when trying to put on her jeans, Mary became aware of her belly for the first time. It wasn't very prominent yet, but it was already noticeable that things were changing. 

By the end of the month, Mary went to London for a few days. With the wedding so close, it would be very unlikely that Vincent would be there. 

She had her first ultrasound. Hearing her baby's heartbeat for the first time made her worries disappear for a few minutes. She would never forget that beat. 

The midwife noticed that Mary was looking worriedly at the white spots that were appearing on the screen. “Don't worry, my dear, the baby is fine. With a little luck, within a few days, we'll be able to find out the baby's gender. Let me guess: You want a boy, and the father wants a girl.” She smiled. 

Mary pretended she didn't hear the question. The midwife took her hand and placed it on her belly. “You two are already a wonderful family.” 

Her savings wouldn't last forever, so Mary took the opportunity to give some concerts that Mrs.  Lemay had arranged for her. 

Returning to her flat after a concert, Mary found a man in a suit at her door. He was tall, had grey hair and a beard, and had a stern face. She recognised the same shade of blue as Vincent's eyes, but instead of his sweetness, Mary only saw coldness. 

She instinctively covered her belly with her handbag and took a few steps back. Two men grabbed her. 

“Good evening, Mary Howard. I've been looking for you everywhere. I would like to say it's a pleasure to finally meet you, but I hope this is the first and last time we meet.” 

“What do you want from me?” Mary tried to free herself from their arms. 

“Put her inside.” The Earl commanded. 

While one grabbed Mary tightly, the other found the key and opened the door. They dragged her inside and locked the door. She tried to shout, but a hand covered her mouth. 

“I thought that if I saw you with my own eyes, I would understand my son's fascination, but you are not even that pretty.” He mocked, as his eyes roamed her body. Mary noticed that he saw the bump. She felt a shiver run down her spine. “Are you with a child?” He asked. Mary didn't answer him. She could see his fury rising. “It cannot be my son’s!” Mary remained in silence. The Earl slapped her face with such force that if it weren't for the two men holding her, she would have fallen to the ground. “You damned whore, how dare you get pregnant? Wasn't it enough to be a bastard yourself? I can guess what your plan was, but this ends here!” 

For few seconds, Mary could barely hear the insults he spewed from his mouth. Her mouth was still numb from the slap. She felt the taste of blood on her tongue. “My baby will never be a bastard. I will be a mother, a father, and everything my child needs!” She cried. 

“I don't care what you or that creature you are carrying will be. You will disappear from my son’s life forever!”  

“Breaking news, Rupert Foredale: I'm the one who wants my baby to have nothing to do with your family. Unfortunately, I couldn't prevent this child from having your blood. No baby deserves to have a father who is a coward, a cheater, and liar, and much less such a despicable being like you as a grandfather.” 

The Earl was going to slap her again. Luckily, or out of charity, the bodyguards moved her out of the way of his hand. 

“I never trusted people like you. With some luck, the baby isn't even Vincent's. I warned my son several times that he could have fun, but not to be foolish. I should be used to his weaknesses by now. When I was young, I also had a lover who was an artist, a sculptress. She was very skilled with her hands...for everything.” A wicked smile appeared on his lips for a moment. “She was my lover and, I later learned, the lover of every young man in London with any money in his pocket.”  After saying it, Rupert took some papers from inside his coat. “Listen very carefully to what I will say to you, whore: you will sign the papers and disappear from my son's life forever. As I am a good Christian, in return, you will get 10,000 pounds. If you dare to open that mouth of yours about my son or what happened between you, you will rot in jail!” 

Mary spat at the contract. “My dignity is not for sale. And, unlike you, I would never sell a child to pay for my mistakes.” 

She was pushing him to the limit. The Earl was blind with rage. He wasn't used to being defied like that. Rupert tore up the agreement. He took a pistol from his pocket and placed it against Mary's forehead. 

“This was your last chance. If you or your bastard ever try to get close to us, I won't be so benevolent. I will make you botg disappear from the face of the earth even if I have to do it with my own hands.” 

In a matter of seconds, the lights went out, and they dropped Mary on the floor. As quickly as they had appeared, they disappeared into the night. 

Mary couldn't believe what just happened. From what Vincent told her, Mary knew that Earl was not a model of kindness, not even towards his own blood. She didn't expect him to rejoice over the baby; However, not even her greatest fears could imagine such brutality. 

After the shock of the first few minutes, the adrenaline subsided. She was feeling a very intense pain, but she couldn't pinpoint where it was. Her baby. The panic set in. If something had happened to the baby, she would kill the Earl with her own hands. 

Supporting herself against the wall, Mary managed to get up and call Mrs.  Lemay. She didn't care about her bruises. Mary just wanted to hear her baby's heartbeat.  

Mrs. Lemay called for a favour and rushed Mary to a private clinic. She refused to be examined without knowing if the baby was okay first. The doctor assured Mary that the baby was fine, but she only calmed down when he showed her the baby on the monitor. 

He was silent for a few minutes, looking at the small screen. Mary was about to panic again. “What’s wrong, doctor?” 

“Don’t worry, Miss. It's nothing bad. Do you know your baby’s gender?” Mary waved no. “I wasn't going to mention it because I am not absolutely sure. I think you are having a girl.” 

Upon learning that the baby was fine, Mary went into autopilot mode. Besides the bruises, the doctor found out she had a broken rib. After taking care of her, Mrs.  Lemay took the singer to her home. Exhausted, Mary slept for hours. When she awoke, Mrs.  Lemay was waiting for her with a light meal. 

“What happened was a crime, Mary. You should go to the police.” 

“I have no proofs besides my bruises. Who do you think they would believe? An Earl or a pub singer? 

“He is dangerous, Mary, and you confronted him!” Mrs. Lemay insisted. “If he was capable of doing this now, there's no guarantee that he won't do it again... or do something worse.” 

“He's afraid I will look for his son and ruin his marriage with the widow. I believe that as soon as they get married and the Earl sees I didn’t lift a finger, he will forget about me and my daughter.” 

“So, what are you going to do now? London is not safe.” 

“I'm going back to Grovershire and staying there for a while. The Earl doesn't know about my grandparents' house, or he would have gone there. It is far enough from London and from them. I need calm and security for my daughter. Then I will see what my next step will be.” 

“Have you thought about names for the baby?” Mrs.  Lemay asked to change to a happier subject. 

“Beatrice.” Mary smiled, caressing her bump. “Vincent would have liked it too.” She couldn't stop herself from thinking about it. 

“Why don't you ask him in person?” 

“Even if I wanted...which I don’t want...I can’t take that risk now. Even if we survive Rupert Foredale's wrath, you know the fate of the bastard children. My child will not be exiled to a boarding school.” 

Mary did as she said. With the help of Mrs.  Lemay and other friends from work, all of Mary's (few) belongings were loaded into a van the following night. As Vincent's forgotten objects appeared, Mrs.  Lemay discreetly saved them from the trash. She was thinking that perhaps the child would later look for a connection with the father. 

Back in Grovershire, Mary kept as low a profile as possible. Trying to camouflage, she began to introduce herself as ‘Helen’. Those who knew her found it strange. Mary justified her choice, saying she was known in London by that name. She had chosen it as a stage name in honour of her grandmother. 

People thought it was eccentric, but they eventually got used to it. 

Her belly was becoming less and less discreet. Comments on her obvious situation were inevitable, as well as comparisons with her mother's case. The most charitable hearts felt sorry for her situation. Losing her fiancé in a tragic accident and now having a child to take care of... It was a very hard blow from fate. 

The poisonous ones were not so compassionate. Their tongues distilled all kinds of gossip about her: that she was a luxury escort in London (the nastiest said directly prostitute), others that she was the rejected lover of a married man, that the child's father was in prison... Mary knew her truth, yet some days weren't easy with that background buzz. Fortunately, she had the Daly’s on her side. 

She didn't like perpetuating a lie, but it was the best truth she could tell. It would be better for both the child and her. Like her, Beatrice would not suffer for someone she had never met. Following her grandparents' example, Mary would make sure her daughter received so much love that she wouldn't miss a thing. It would protect her from Rupert and more heartbreak. 

The following ultrasounds confirmed that it was a girl and that she was growing strong and healthy. 

Meanwhile, Parvati returned to her work as a seamstress. Mary took care of Briar and in return, Pavarti was sewing her a layette fit for a princess. 

During the day, between helping out at the Dalys' house and preparing her own for the baby's arrival, neither Mary's head nor her heart had time to worry about the past or the future. However, many of the nights were full of nightmares about Rupert; others were sleepless, planning all possible future scenarios. 

On Halloween evening, Mary felt the first contractions. While Pavarti was finishing the hem of a dress, she was playing on the floor with Briar and felt an intense pain that paralysed her. Recognising the signs, Pavarti helped her get up and set her down on the sofa. 

That night was just a warning, but on Tuesday early morning, the contractions came back in force. Mary was terrified of what was happening. What the doctor and the midwife had explained, the books she had read, Pavarti's advice...all of her preparation and plans were gone. 

George and Pavarti drove her to the hospital. 

As the hours passed, the pain increased, becoming intense and almost constant. Despite telling her that she was doing great and that the baby would soon be in her arms, Mary was losing her strength. 

During one of the strongest contractions, for the first time in months, she wished Vincent was there beside her. For a few moments, she was filled with a whirlwind of memories with him. She could almost hear his voice smoothing her. Another strong contraction brought her back to reality. There was no use dwelling on the past. Her daughter was all that mattered now. 

After hours of pain and fear, at nightfall on November 2, 1994, her daughter was born. Hearing the sweet shrill sound of her daughter's cries was a relief. Having Beatrice in her arms for the first time was a new kind of happiness she never thought possible. 

Even though she was ruddy and grumpy like all newborns, in Mary's eyes, Beatrice was the pinnacle of cuteness, with her full cheeks, thick brown hair, and big eyes. 

Around midnight, Beatrice fell asleep in her mother's arms. Exhausted, Mary also fell into a deep sleep.  

A couple of hours later, she woke up with a start, thinking she heard the baby crying. Everything was quiet in the ward, including her daughter. However, the door was ajar. Mary saw a pair of eyes watching them through the crack. “Who is there?” She asked instinctively, placing herself in front of the crib. The pair of eyes disappeared.  

The next morning, after making sure that everything was fine with both of them, the issue of the father inevitably arose. Again, Mary told the best truth she could:  she had met the father at a party, they had spent the night together, and they had never seen each other again. She claimed she didn't know any information about him other than his first name. 

While she was trying to breastfeed Beatrice, a social worker with dubious intentions came to talk to her, asking some questions, pointing out the challenges of being a young single mother and the possibility of giving her baby up for adoption.  

Mary was about to lose patience with her when the Dalys came in to visit them. The couple promptly shooed the nosy woman away. Pavarti helped Mary dress Beatrice and put a small pink bow on her head. Then, George took the first portrait of Beatrice.  

Briar was very curious about the new baby, whimpering if they moved her away from the crib. 

Rocking her daughter by the window, the light illuminated every detail of her features. Mary noticed that Beatrice had a lot of Vincent in her. How she wished she could make Rupert eat his words. 

A couple of days later, mother and daughter were back home. “Welcome home, my love.” Mary kissed her daughter's head. “It may not be Buckingham Palace, but we're going to make it our realm.” 

 As long as she was well fed, Beatrice was (most days) an easy baby. Despite some sleepless nights, the many health scares typical of newborns, and hormone shenanigans, Mary felt like she was in a bubble of happiness. Her daughter's birth had not miraculously healed her heart, but she was the glue that was holding the pieces together. 

As the weeks went by, Beatrice was growing healthy and becoming more active and playful.  

Mary's savings were dwindling at the same rate. 

There weren't many job opportunities there, so Mary had to take a job at a local pub. Since Pavarti worked from home, she took care of the two babies during the day. At the end of the day, Mary helped her friend taking home some simpler pieces of clothing and making small sewing arrangements. She had never felt so grateful for the hours her grandmother forced her to learn how to sew. Despite it, she felt like she could never repay the kindness they showed her. 

The young mother felt exhausted every night, but holding her daughter in her arms, playing with her, smelling her sweet scent, seeing how much she was growing day by day gave Mary the strength to carry one each morning. 

Beatrice never lacked anything necessary, even if that sometimes meant just soup for Mary’s dinner. There were many things she wanted to give her daughter, but she couldn't afford them, even if it might be lacking, Mary made up for it with love. 

-----

The year 1999 began full of hope. Although it wasn't technically the turn of the millennium, there was in the air the excitement of the end of an era, with a world of possibilities knocking on the door. 

Now that the girls were a little older, the Dalys were planning to have another child. Mary was considering changing careers. Her idea was to return to the music world by giving private lessons. 

Unfortunately, in April, a series of attacks shocked the United Kingdom and destroyed the dreams of the young family. George Daly was passing through Brick Lane on his way to meet his last client for the month when a nail bomb exploded. He did not survive his injuries and passed away a couple of days later. 

Parvati was devastated. She cried for the loss of the love of her life and the loss of everything that Briar would not have with her father, even though she was too young to fully understand what had happened. 

Mary knew what a broken heart felt like. However, what Pavarti was suffering was beyond her understanding. Despite the troubled separation, the hurt, the anger, she knew that the love of her life was alive and well. There was always a faint light in her heart, even if her mind denied it.  

Part of her friend had died with him that day. Mary knew it would not be possible to heal that wound. For months, every day, Mary fought the darkness that threatened to swallow Pavarti. She was determined to take care of the parts of her friend that remained, just as Pavarti had done with her. 

----------------------- 

All children grow up too quickly in their parent's eyes, and Mary felt that it was in the blink of an eye that Beatrice went from a baby to a primary school girl. 

Apart from the struggle to get her up from bed in the mornings, some occasional tantrums, and some shenanigans here and there, Mary felt blessed. Beatrice was very curious, eager to learn, always exploring the small world around her and asking many questions, some trivial, some more philosophical.  

Even though she was little more than a child, Mary realised that her daughter had inherited her wit and passion. It gave her some peace of mind. Having a sharp spirit would protect her and help her succeed in whatever path she chose. 

Mary wanted to teach her how to play the piano, but her daughter didn't seem to have the muse of music awake inside her, although Beatrice's voice was naturally in tune. 

Nonetheless, as she grew up, the Vincent features stood out more and more in her, and not just physically. Like her father, Beatrice loved books, always asking to read stories. When an adult couldn’t read to her, she made up her own stories with what she saw in the illustrations and told them to Briar or to her dolls. 

One night, Mary was sitting on her daughter's bed, dog-tired, praying for Beatrice to choose a small book. What was her surprise when her daughter appeared in the bedroom with her copy of 'Pride and Prejudice' in her hands. 

“It's too long for a bedtime story.” 

“I didn't ask you to read me everything at once. I was thinking about one chapter per night.” 

“It's a story for older girls. You're going to find it boring.” 

“How older?” Her inquisitive mode had just turned on.  

That was a good question. Mary used her own example to answer, “Girls who are fourteen or fifteen.” 

“I am five, it’s not that different! Plus, you always choose good stories, so I'm sure it won't be boring. I have seen you read it more than once.” 

“You're going to regret asking me for this. It would be much more fun when you read it by yourself.” In vain, Mary tried to change her mind. She started reading the famous first lines. 

“IT IS A TRUTH universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. 

However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters. 

“My dear Mr. Bennet,” said his lady to him one day, “have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?” 

Night after night, chapter after chapter, Beatrice paid close attention to each line. Sometimes the sleep overcame the girl: however, there was use in trying to trick her. She always knew which page they were on before falling asleep. The reading took weeks, which ended up making story time easier for Mary. 

With the Gardiners, they were always on the most intimate terms. Darcy, as well as Elizabeth, really loved them; and they were both ever sensible of the warmest gratitude towards the persons who, by bringing her into Derbyshire, had been the means of uniting them. 

“The end.” She dramatically closed the book. “So, what do you think?” Mary asked. 

“It's a little like fairy tales, but without fairies? Mr Darcy is a little grumpy for Prince Charming. Her aunt fits the evil witch role, though. But I loved it!” As she tucked her in, Beatrice asked, “Do you think there are many Mr Darcys out there?” 

“If you look for yours, you will find him.” 

“How will I know?” 

“You will know it. You will feel it. Your heart will scream it.” 

“Papa was yours?” 

Mary still had difficulty dealing with questions about Vincent. For Beatrice, she had chosen to keep the narrative of the father who died in a car accident days before their wedding day. Despite her inquisitive nature, Beatrice rarely questioned Mary about it. Probably because the girl saw the pain in her eyes when the subject was mentioned. 

She had only asked her once to see a photograph of him. Mary made up the excuse that all his photos had been lost when they moved to Grovershire. She was sad but didn't ask again. 

“All love stories are different. Like Darcy and Lizzie, there were some differences between us, but, unlike her, I think I loved your dad from day one.” 

Mary had only seen him again in person once. They were visiting Mrs.  Lemay in London for a weekend. Walking through Hyde Park, Mrs.  Lemay was further ahead with Beatrice by the hand. Mary had stayed behind, enjoying the rare moment of peace that a mother of a toddler can have. There was a street stall selling ice cream, and she decided to go over to buy some. As she got closer, she saw him. She saw them: Vincent, his wife, an older boy, and a boy a little younger than Beatrice, buying ice cream as well. 

That sight left her breathless and with a piercing pain in her stomach. It was a difficult feeling to explain. It had been a little more than a couple of years, however, while it seemed like the same Vincent, it was as if their past was just a dream or the delirium of a feverish night. 

The youngest son was throwing a tantrum, and Vincent patiently tried to calm him down. He seemed to have become the fantastic father she knew he could be and that she had dreamed of for her and their children. 

Mary turned away and walked forward, quickening her pace. There was no reason for her to torture herself with the past, suffer the present, and tempt fate. Such an encounter would only make things worse. 

----------------------- 

As soon as Beatrice learned to read, Mary got her a library card. If on the one hand this freed her from the daily bedtime story, but on the other, it stirred even more her daughter's eagerness. Mary often had to go to the library to return books that Beatrice stubbornly brought home, despite not being appropriate for her age. 

Every night, Mary had to go back to her room to make her turn off the light and go to sleep. On Friday nights, she knew that her daughter, after being caught in the act, would read another chapter under the blankets by flashlight, however, she decided to pretend that she didn't know about it. 

----------------------- 

February, 2004 

Sitting in the doctor's waiting room, Mary tried to focus on the gossip magazine. Her limbs were heavy and sore from trying to control her nerves. 

It wouldn't be anything serious, Mary repeated to herself. She had always been a healthy lass. She was just an exhausted mother, like many others. Like Pavarti, who had insisted on accompanying her to the appointment. There was a wedding dress to urgently finish, yet there she was. The years did not expunge the loss, but they brought back the light of her best friend. 

Daughters full of energy in Year 5, long hours of work, little sleep, months without a moment for themselves, bills hard to pay alone, the need to start preparing the girls' future... No wonder they were both in shambles. 

At Pavarti's insistence, there she was, fearing the worst, hoping for the best. 

“Helen Howard!” the nurse called. Mary wanted to get up, but her legs didn't allow her to do so for a few seconds. 

After some small talk, the doctor delivered the news in the politest and least dramatic way possible. “The cancer is aggressive, and it’s in an advanced stage. However, you are a woman in the prime.  The sick cells have used your strength to multiply, but that same strength can be used in your favour...” He proceeded to explain the options available in her case. 

Mary feared the suffering caused by the treatments, she feared the doctor's lack of certainty, she feared death... but, above all, she was terrified by the idea of her little girl being alone in the world. 

Leaving the doctor's office, Mary didn't know what to feel or what to think. It was as if she were possessed by a sharp pain, a paralysing numbness, while at the same time she was diving into a bottomless, icy lake. 

Then the anger and frustration came. ‘Why her? Hadn't she suffered enough already?’ 

As the days went by, Mary wasn’t still conformed to the diagnosis, but took control of what was in her hands. 

For Beatrice and a future with her, Mary made her mind up to religiously follow the treatments. Even if she couldn’t escape, any chance of spending more time with her daughter would be worth every discomfort. 

In the following days, Mary's biggest concern was how to tell her about it. Unfortunately, or fortunately, children are very perceptive. So, it didn't take long for Beatrice to ask her mother directly what was happening. 

Mary stopped chopping the vegetables for the soup and took a deep breath. She couldn't break down in front of her daughter. To buy some time, Mary poured two glasses of juice for both of them. After a couple of sips, the first shaky words left his lips.  

“As you know, I had some medical exams. I went to the doctor last week to get the results. I am very ill, my love.” She tried to find gracious words in the English language, but emotions rushed things. “I have ovarian cancer. I am starting treatments next week.” 

Beatrice was silent for a while. Mary could see in her daughter's expressions that she was processing what she had just heard. “But, after it, you're going to be okay, right?” She looked up at Mary with her big, sweet hazel eyes. 

Mary didn't want to lie to her, but she didn't want to be overly optimistic. "I will do my best. The doctors will do their best, and with a little faith everything, will be okay.” 

+++++++ 

Her grandmother got a similar surgery years ago as a preventative measure; therefore, the operation didn't scare her. Mary knew the secret was to get plenty of rest, so as she did, at least, as much as mother can do. 

On the other hand, chemotherapy treatments were knocking her down. Pregnancy nausea was a child's play compared to what she was feeling. After the sessions, Mary felt so weak that she could barely get out of bed for days. When she finally started to feel better, it was time to do another one. 

If it weren't for Beatrice, Mary was sure she couldn’t bear it. 

As soon as her hair began to fall like leaves in autumn, she decided to cut it very short. Mary had always loved and pampered her hair, and her grandmother was to blame. She loved her granddaughter's hair and spent hours doing elaborate hairstyles. Elena Howard used to say, 'Tira più un capello di donna che cento paia di buoi'' (‘one hair of woman pulls more than a hundred pairs of oxen’). Mary only many years later understood the full meaning of these words. 

However, more than her hurt vanity, seeing Beatrice cry when she faced her like that for the first time was much more painful. 

Since Mary couldn’t afford a decent wig, she chose to wear headscarves. Parvati, using all the scraps of beautiful fabrics, sewed her headscarves in all patterns and colours. 

+++++++ 

Despite all the ups and downs, Mary was enjoying that summer. 

One more time in her life, she has a lot to be thankful for Parvati. Her friend was being tireless with her, spending the most critical nights close to her, preparing meals, taking care of Beatrice, driving her to and from the hospital... Mary knew she could never repay her, so she prayed that life would reward her with the same kindness. 

Thanks to Pavarti's generosity, Mary was able to dedicate what little energy she had to her little girl, keeping these precious moments in her heart.  

Beatrice spoiled her as best she could, with little gifts and affection. She was always ready to help, no matter the task. It filled Mary's heart with pride. Her daughter's love was what kept her standing. 

The fear of the future often made her think about Vincent. She was sure that Pavarti would look out for her daughter, however, if the worst happened, at least Beatrice would have someone else to turn to. 

Rupert had died a few years earlier, so he was no longer a threat. The years and the paths taken changed both of them, but Mary believed that his heart had not changed. 

She was convinced that when he found out about Beatrice, Vincent would not excuse himself from his obligations. She also didn't doubt that, as time went by, they would love each other very much. 

So, Mary started making arrangements. Since she didn't want there to be any doubt about her daughter's paternity, she took a sample of Beatrice's hair for them to analyse. 

Along with the samples and some photographs, Mary enclosed a letter from her to Vincent in an envelope. It took days, crumpled papers, and many tears to write that letter. Later, she would just need to instruct Pavarti on how to get that to Vincent. 

At the end of September, hope fell away with the leaves. Despite the treatments, the new exams showed that it had spread to other parts of the body. The doctor was almost as dejected as she was. 

“Just tell me how long I have.” Mary asked through tears. 

“I can't give guarantees about anyone's life, Miss Howard. Sometimes there are real miracles in the human body.” The doctor tried to comfort her. 

“I prefer the truth, doctor. Please.” 

“A couple of months, no more than Christmas.” 

“Will it be painful?” 

“There are several ways to make that period smoother, if that's your wish.” 

“Having to go is bad enough, don’t you think?” 

Back home, Mary didn't have the courage to face her daughter. Parvati took Beatrice home for an impromptu sleepover party. 

When the girls fell asleep, Pavarti sneaked over to the Howards' house. It would be a very difficult night for Mary. 

After many cups of tea and many more tears, Mary resolved, “This will take me to my grave, but I won't let it take away the shreds of happiness. My daughter and I deserve better than spending our final weeks in misery.” 

From that moment on, Mary focused on enjoying every minute with her girl, the epitome of her happiness. 

“When are you going to tell her?” Pavarti asked. 

“I do not know how, but not for now. When I feel it's closer. I don't want her to cry before the time.” 

*November 2004*

Giggles were filling the air. Two little girls were playing tag, running around carefree. 

Mary was sitting in her small garden, feeling severe pains, in spite of the medications. She held a mug of strong coffee in her hands, one of the few things that gave her energy. 

The autumn sun in her bones was her only comfort. That and seeing her daughter happy. 

Taking small, warm sips, Mary reflected on the past thirty years. So much had happened! In her short life there were adventures that would fill a lifetime. Losses along the way, setbacks, broken dreams...but also good friends, many happy days...and, best of all, Beatrice. Mary would go all the way again for the opportunity to share her life with Beatrice. 

She was already missing what wasn't going to live with her. Beatrice looks at her and smiles. She is missing two teeth that fell out the other day. Mary knows she won't see her new teeth, yet she smiles back. 

‘How do we prepare a child for our death, Pavarti?' Mary asked her friend, who was sitting next to her.  

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[julieverne]

Maura let herself in; she had the key. Jo whined, and the bedroom door was open. Maura wandered through, about to call out...

But she could hear sounds from the bedroom. Not voices, mostly moans and Jane's low voice huskily urging someone on.

Maura paused in the doorway. Jane was - well - well, nude. Very nude. Naked, even. And there was someone behind her, thrusting away even as Jane's hands clenched the sheets of her perpetually unmade bed, even as Jane cursed and mumbled and pushed back, one hand underneath herself, blocking Maura's already limited view. She cast her eye a little further, took in the unknown presence. She'd remained unobserved simply because they were both too engrossed to notice her.

The other person was a woman, Maura noticed quite quickly, because there was a lot of jiggling and a harness. She was tall and pretty and completely focused on Jane, one hand on Jane's hip, the other one her back. Her voice was low and encouraging and obviously did something for Jane because she crashed to the bed whimpering, the other woman withdrawing and joining her, holding her, kissing her. It did something for Maura too; it made her aware of a throbbing ache at seeing Jane so submissive.

And Jane kissed the woman back desperately, splayed open and breathing heavily, twitching down her legs to her toes, which curled and uncurled with her moans, now stifled by the other woman's mouth.

Maura backed away slowly, quietly, forgetting about the unsettled Jo, tripping over her. Jo yipped and cowered, and Maura scooped her up, whispering an apology to the poor, trembling dog.

"Shit," Maura heard from the bedroom, as she made her way back to the kitchen.

"Jane? Jo tripped me, I'm going to give her a treat. She's upset, but I don't think I hurt her."

"Uh, yeah, thanks," Jane's voice was impatient and hurried, and Maura heard frantic whispers from the bedroom. Then Jane came out in a towel.

"I forgot I said I'd go to the farmers market with you," Jane said. Her cheeks and chest were flushed and she had a mouth-shaped bruise forming on her cleavage. The towel slipped and Jane blushed. "Just let me shower." Maura nodded and fed Jo some treats from the pantry, not turning around when someone walked past quietly, sliding the front door closed behind her.

Maura didn't say anything when Jane came out of the shower, dressed but nervous. Jane didn't say anything either, and Maura could tell Jane didn't know if Maura knew, but Maura knew and she didn't know how to process any of this. She nodded and followed Jane, wondering about:

a) Jane having sex on a Sunday morning. Had she taken someone home last night and still been going at it a day later, or had she had a coffee date that she'd taken home? Had she forgotten about arranging for Mara to come over that morning?

b) Jane having sex with a woman. Enjoying sex with a woman, but not wanting Maura (or presumably anyone else) to know about it.

Did it mean Jane was gay? Maybe a little. Was the other woman her girlfriend, had they done this before? They'd gotten along so well, working for a common goal. Did Jane like women that weren't Maura and didn't want to have to let her down gently? Was Jane still traumatised about men after Dean and Casey? Maura sighed, no longer excited about cottage tomatoes or lemon curd at the stall she was frequenting. Jane picked up on Maura's mood; she usually did.

"You okay?" Jane touched Maura's forehead and brushed hair from Maura's face in a gesture so tender than Maura, who had been able to curb her tendency to cry in public, felt a shameful tear slip down her cheeks. Jane caught it with her thumb and guided Maura quickly over to a bench out of the way. "Honey?" Jane's voice was low and soft, and Maura shook her head because why, of all people, why was Jane keeping such a big secret from her?

Maura picked up Jo as she whined at her fett, cuddling into the confused dog, stroking her silky ears. Jane's arm was around her shoulders, and Maura longed to lean into her, to let Jane comfort her.

But Jane had, unknowingly, hurt her.

"I'm guessing you saw my 'guest' leave, huh?" Jane said finally. "I'm sorry. That was shitty of me to forget you were coming over."

"You obviously had other things on your mind," Maura said stiffly. Jane sighed.

"I was trying something new. I met someone at the game last night and one thing turned into another and well... I wasn't expecting it, but it was good."

"Good for you, Jane." Maura voice was cracking as hard as her heart.

"I didn't mean to keep anything from you," Jane said, misinterpreting why Maura was upset. "It's just very new, and I don't know what it means."

It meant they'd spent the night. It meant this woman had brought that harness with her - unless it was Jane's, although why would Jane own such a thing?

"It was just nice, you know? To be the strong one, to be able to trust someone because they didn't have a physical advantage."

Maura nodded; she'd never been with another woman, but she'd thought about it; she'd though about Jane writhing under her like that.

"You don't have to tell anyone. You know what my family is like. And, like I said, it's new. I don't want everyone knowing my business before I figure it out myself, you know?"

Maura nodded; she understood why Jane might want to keep this a secret, but she had no idea why Jane had tried to keep it a secret from her.

"I didn't know you were interested," Maura said, once she'd managed to calm down.

"I wasn't, but she..." Jane ran her fingers through her hair. "I don't know. I keep getting in these life and death situations, keeping getting all these moral dilemmas, and I figure I'm going to hell anyway, I might as well enjoy the view on the way down."

Maura took a strategic breath.

"You enjoyed yourself?" She knew Jane had; she'd seen the evidence for herself.

Jane nodded, blushing.

"Will you see her again?"

Jane shrugged. "I didn't get her number, but I guess she knows where I live. She thought you were my girlfriend and I was cheating on you and she was pretty mad about that so it might be a loss."

"Why would she make that assumption?"

"Well you let yourself in, you fed my dog and you've been quietly devastated since I first saw you."

"Oh. But I'm not."

"But I wasn't able to convince her you weren't," Jane said ruefully.

"Would you like to see her again?"

Jane patted Jo, who had curled up in Maura's lap. Her fingers brushed Maura's torso now and then.

"I don't think so."

"It looked like you were enjoying yourself. And her."

Jane froze. She couldn't meet Maura's eye.

"You, um, you saw?" Jane's voice was low and embarassed, probably because Jane thought of herself as strong and the one who'd be the man in a lesbian relationship; she'd said as much.

"I saw enough."

"Did you like what you saw?"

Maura considered for a moment. "It was nice to see you partake in a consensual, enthusiastic congress," Maura said finally. "I'd been worried, after all the kidnappings, that they might have affected your sexual function, but you definitely received your immunoglobulin A and oxytocin today. I'm sorry I interrupted. And I'm sorry I cried. It was just a bit of a shock."

"You know everyone thinks we're gay though, don't you? Giovanni told everyone, and people are always making comments about me."

"You're the only person I would believe it from," Maura said firmly. "And you've never said."

"And I wouldn't have, if you hadn't walked in. Can you give me a few days to sort it out for myself before we talk about it?"

Maura nodded numbly, Jo yawning in her lap.

+++

Jane knocked on Maura's door, and it was inconvenient; she preferred Jane to let herself in, but that freedom with each other's homes had been what had led to this. She let Jane in and followed her to the kitchen, where Jane leaned on the counter, watching Maura.

"I like women," Jane said quickly. "More than men. Way more than men. I just needed to be honest with myself about it, once I got to a point where I couldn't deny it any more. Do you hate me?" Jane wouldn't look at Maura until Maura rounded the counter and tilted Jane's chin up. Jane's eyes were watery and scared, her chin wobbling, and Maura pulled Jane into a hug.

"If I was going to hate people for liking women, I'd have to start with myself," Maura said honestly. "And maybe I did, maybe that's why..."

"Why what?"

"Why I was so jealous."

Jane pulled away enough to look at Maura, searching her face.

"Jealous because I had someone?"

"Jealous because someone had you."

Jane's eyebrows shot up, and Maura took that moment of distraction to kiss Jane, hard and demanding, feeling Jane match that energy, Jane coaxing Maura up onto the counter, fingers sliding under Maura's skirt and finding the secret Maura had always kept; a permanent state of arousal in Jane's presence. Jane moaned into Maura's mouth and took her there in the kitchen, once on the stairs and twice in the bedroom.

"I wish you knew her name," Maura said, still basking in the afterglow.

"Whose? Oh, hers. Why?"

"I want to send her a gift basket."

Jane chuckled lowly and kissed Maura again, not knowing that Maura actually wanted harness recommendations so she could rail Jane to the perfection she'd seen that Sunday morning.

[butdaddyilovehim-hs]

The Divorce: Part III

Word Count: <;3k

Warnings: slight smut, explicit language

Read Part II here

“So it seems you’re considering my offer after all.”

“What if I was? What then?” Wine made Y/N bolder than normal. 

“Well Miss Williams, I would say we would need to discuss the details in person.” 

“Now? I don’t even know where you live and you sure as hell aren’t coming to my place.” Y/N slurred slightly, her head spinning from the alcohol. 

“Have you been drinking?” Harry’s tone was stern, but Y/N was anything but frightened. She chuckled quietly, imagining the reprimanding look on his face. 

“Slow down, Mr Styles, I haven’t agreed to anything. You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do.” 

“You’re right, I don’t. Not yet.”

“Maybe not ever!” Y/N singsonged, spinning the stem of her wine glass between her fingertips. “You see Harry, you seem to need me a lot more than I need you. Go on. Convince me.”

“I’m not having this conversation with you if you’re inebriated.” 

“My goodness, you’re so serious all the time. What could you offer me that I can’t get elsewhere?”

“Mind-blowing sex.” He deadpanned and Y/N rolled her eyes. 

“I can basically hear you rolling your eyes Miss Williams. I’d suggest you learn to keep yourself under control before we begin our little arrangement. It’s in your best interests.”

Y/N gulped nervously, recovering as fast as she could. 

“Again, Mr Styles, I haven’t agreed to anything.”

“That’ll change tomorrow. I’ll be over at around 8am. Hopefully you’re presentable by then. Goodnight Miss Williams.” With that, he hung up the phone. 

Y/N groaned to herself before relaxing into her couch. Harry didn’t even know where she lived, there wasn’t a chance he would be at her place in the morning. At 8am on a Sunday no less.

Y/N wasn’t exactly sure when she had fallen asleep but what she did know was:

 1) She should still be sleeping 

 2) Whoever was knocking at her door at this ungodly hour probably had a death wish. 

Y/N let out a frustrated shriek as the knocking continued, slapping a hand over her face and rubbing her eyes. She got up off the couch and walked over to the door in a sleepy haze. 

“Lauren, you have a key, I don’t understand why you insist on knocking every time you-“ Y/N froze as she swung open the door to a perfectly pressed suit, looking down to shoes so shiny she could basically see her face in them.

“Oh my god.” Y/N muttered in shock before promptly shutting the door in his face. She was half convinced she was dreaming so she opened it again to make sure Harry was really there. He was.

“Nope. Not today.” She said, almost to herself, closing the door again. Before it swung shut she caught sight of his bewildered expression that morphed into one of slight annoyance as the wood closed in front of him. 

“Miss Williams, I told you I would be here at this time. Is there a reason you’re so surprised or is it simply because you were too drunk to remember our conversation last night?” His voice was muffled slightly behind the door but she could hear his exasperated tone quite clearly. 

“No… I remember. I was just hoping it was a dream because I don’t really wanna have this conversation today.”

“I am in fact not a dream. It is rather cold out here so I would appreciate it if I could come inside.”

“You’re going to need to wait out there for a bit while I make myself presentable. It’s not fair that I look like this and you look like that at this hour. On. A. SUNDAY.” Y/N gestured animatedly in front of herself before realising that he couldn’t even see her anyway. 

“I don’t really understand what the day of the week has to do with this Miss Williams.” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“You’re not listening to what I’m saying. Ugh. Fine! Come in. Close your eyes, I’m in my pyjamas.” Y/N opened the door again, immediately reaching a hand up to cover his eyes. 

“Close my eyes? Why on earth is this necessary. My my, you are one for dramatics.”

“I’m one for dramatics? Ok Mr “be my submissive” Y/N snorted at her poor attempt of his accent. Harry removed her hand from his face, staring at her impatiently. 

“Are you going to continue acting like a child or are we going to have a conversation?” 

His tone sobered Y/N up and she nodded before ushering him over to her couch and hurrying to her room to change. Harry took in his surroundings while he waited for her. Her apartment was so perfectly her. It was cozy, with books that had obviously been read more than once lining shelves around her small apartment. It was colourful and bright - far different to the space Harry was used to in his own home. 

He had been waiting for just over ten minutes, when the door to Y/N’s bedroom opened, and she emerged wearing a pale yellow sundress, her hair brushed into a neat ponytail that hung well below her shoulders. 

“Good morning.” She muttered, sitting beside him, her eyes downcast. 

“Y/N, love. Look at me.” Harry said quietly. Her gaze stayed on the floor, focusing on a small piece of lint she had found on the carpet. 

“Darling, please.” He gripped her chin softly with one hand, tilting it upwards so she looked him in the eye. 

“That’s better. Now I can see your pretty face sweetheart.”

“You can’t call me things like that Harry. It makes me feel…” Y/N trailed off, relaxing slightly into his grip. 

“Makes you feel what?”

“Special.” She mumbled. 

“You are special Y/N. That’s why I’m here.”

“That’s the first time you’ve called me by my name.” Y/N pointed out, smiling to herself. She liked the way it sounded with his accent. Harry ignored her. 

“I’d like to get to know you and frankly I’m extremely attracted to you. But, I’m going to be completely honest… I’m not looking for a relationship. I never used to before Sofia and we both know how that turned out. I’d like us to have an… arrangement of sorts.” 

“What kind of an arrangement? Can I see other people? Am I supposed to call you sir?” The third statement came out in a mocking tone and Harry simply smirked, reaching up to the hair that had escaped her ponytail, tucking it behind her ear. Y/N gasped as he touched her, her reaction not going unnoticed. 

“Well I’d prefer if you didn’t. I won’t see anyone else either. To answer your other question, I wouldn’t mind sir. Not opposed to daddy either.” He smirked again as Y/N’s jaw dropped. 

“I-”

“I’ll email you through a list of rules later tonight so you have them in writing, as well as a contract to sign. I’ll sign it as well. If you have any hard limits we can discuss them so we’re never doing anything you’re uncomfortable with. I do however, want to broaden your horizons, show you ways to feel good like you’ve never thought of before. This is about pleasure - for the both of us. In addition, you’ll accompany me to events to deter the unwanted female attention. In the eyes of the rest of the world, you’re my girlfriend.” Harry explained. 

“And if I wanted to take you to an event? My parents will ask about you, especially if the media is going to report on our relationship.”

“I don’t do children’s birthday parties Miss Williams, so I don’t see what events you would need me for. It’s important that you understand that I’m not actually going to be your boyfriend. Whatever you decide to tell your parents is up to you. Lie or twist the truth, but the details of our arrangement are between the two of us.” He said, somewhat sternly. 

“Right. Ok.” Y/N acquiesced. It wasn’t the time for that discussion. 

“How do you feel about a trial run? Before you agree to anything, we can experiment. See if you like it.” Harry questioned, looking at her intently. 

Y/N took a deep breath, trying to gather her thoughts amid the whirlwind of emotions and thoughts that were racing through her mind. She never expected the morning to take such a turn, but the allure of stepping into the unknown with a man as enigmatic and attractive as Harry was undeniably tempting. Her curiosity outweighed her reservations, and she nodded.

”Alright, a trial run," she said softly, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. "But remember, no pressure, Mr. Styles. I might need some time to adjust to all of this."

Harry's lips curled into a smirk, and he leaned in closer. "Of course, darling. We'll take it slow, and I promise to respect your boundaries.”

Y/N's heart pounded in her chest as she felt Harry's warm breath against her cheek. His proximity was both intimidating and electrifying, but she was determined to see where this would lead.  She bit down on her bottom lip, then exhaled, gathering her thoughts. 

“Okay. Let’s do this."

Harry moved closer to her, moving her hair out of her face. Her breath hitched and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling at the effect he had on her. 

“When was the last time you had sex?” His fingers began rubbing circles on her wrist, his touch distracting her from the simple question.

“Um. A couple months ago? It was a one night stand, nothing special.”

“When was the last time you had an orgasm?” 

“Two nights ago.”

“And what were you thinking about?”

“You.” Y/N said boldly. Harry’s eyes darkened, leaning slightly closer to her. 

“Really? What about me? What were you imagining me doing to you?” His lips ghosted her ear and Y/N shuddered, her eyes fluttering closed. 

“I… I don’t-”

“Don’t be shy, tell me what you were thinking about. I want to know what you like.” Harry coaxed.

“I was wondering what it would feel like to have you eat me out. Then to have you fuck me with your fingers until I came, before you used your cock.” Y/N confessed. She could feel her arousal soaking through her underwear, and she squirmed, pressing her thighs together, looking for friction. Harry groaned, his cock hardening in his pants. 

“Can I kiss you?” He whispered in her ear. Y/N nodded. 

“Words, darling. I’m going to need you to use them.”

“Yes, please just do something I-” Harry cut her off, attaching his lips to hers in a bruising kiss. He quickly took control, his mouth moving with hers. She tasted like strawberries and summer all rolled into one. Her hands found his hair, tugging slightly. Harry pulled back, and Y/N followed chasing his mouth, whimpering when he moved away. 

“No touching unless I say so. We haven’t established the rules yet so I’m willing to let it slide for today.”

“Ok I understand Harry.”

“Try again.”

“I understand, sir.” 

“Better.” Harry was quick to pull her back in, exploring her mouth with his tongue. He pulled Y/N up and then she was straddling him. He stood, her legs wrapping around his torso, and carried her through the door he had deduced was Y/N’s bedroom. He tossed her, rather unceremoniously onto the bed, before stepping back and removing his jacket, rolling the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows. Y/N’s mouth watered as tattoos she had never seen before were exposed. 

“Take it off.” He said to her, motioning to her dress. Y/N brought it up and over her head, tossing it to the floor. She was suddenly very aware of the fact that Harry was still fully clothed and she was in her bra and underwear. Y/N crossed her arms over herself, feeling rather self conscious. Compared to what he was used to with Sofia, Y/N felt that she could hardly live up to the other woman’s beauty. 

“Please don’t hide from me. You’re gorgeous.” Harry said, placing a quick peck to her lips before kissing his way down her body. He gave soft kisses to her inner thighs, leaving Y/N a writhing mess beneath him. He was so close to where she wanted him and yet so far away. Without warning Harry thrust a finger inside her and Y/N gasped at the sudden intrusion, arching her back. 

“You’re so wet. This all for me?” “You know it’s for you. I need… oh fuck!” 

Harry added a second finger, moving them in and out slowly at first, getting faster as he found a good rhythm. Y/N whimpered when he found her g-spot, fucking herself on his fingers. He held her down with one hand, watching as she threw her head back and closed her eyes. 

“Eyes on me love.” He muttered, curling his fingers inside her. Y/N whimpered but kept her eyes shut and her head back - it just felt too good. 

“Y/N. I said eyes on me. Eyes on me or I stop.”

Y/N whined loudly, forcing her eyes open and tilting her head up to look at him, as he continued pumping his fingers into her.

“That’s better, good girl. Fuck, you sound so pretty baby. Still want me to taste you?” “God Harry please.”

He held back the part of him that wanted to correct her on saying his name and blew softly on her pussy, stilling his fingers inside of her. Y/N writhed beneath him, sighing out frustratedly. 

“Relax sweetheart. I’ll take care of you, just gotta be patient f’me.”

A/N: 👀

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[bouquetface]

GAME: CLOSED

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