#sub yongbok

[straykids-2000]

Asking stray kids if you can dom them

Bangchan

He wouldn't be opposed to it

Actually, he would love to give up control

His all ways has to be in control from being the leader of stray kids to the fan

It's nice to finally give up control

Before even doing anything, tho he wants to talk about and learn a little bit.

When his ready, he'll shyly tell you

He'll be a moaning, whimpering mess before you even start

If you're pegging him, then he'll want you to hold his hands

He will hide his face in your neck

Calls you mommy/daddy then gets shy

When you're done, he's so far gone in Subspace

✨️Aftercare✨️

"So cute, baby." You whispered, making him cover his face,

You chuckled and moved his arms as you softly thrust into him "please mommy/daddy so good." He said nails, digging into your back

Leeknow

At first his not sure, but after a bit of talking then he'll give it a chance

And he loved it

Lowkey (highkey) is a brat at first

Will talk back and talk about how it's better when he fucks you

When his finally realized how good you're making him feel.

He'll be a moaning mess

He will, in fact, claw you back and bite your neck.

If you call him kitten, he'll fall into his subspace faster.

Likes it when you degrade and praise him at the same time

If you are pegging him

He'll want to ride you

Will fondle your chest

Minho whimpered as he looked down at you, marking his thighs

He threw his head back and grabbed your hair "fuck, fuck please I'm sorry."

You groaned and waved his hands away from your head. " I know, kitten, but you were bad got punished you." You said and smirked as you leaned down back to his thigh

Changbin

Changbin will be right on board

Is a pillow princess

Absolutely loves it when you kiss him well riding him or pegging him

Loves to be praised

Call him babygirl and he'll cum right there

If you make him ride you, he'll cry and beg you to do the work

If you're strong then he want you to fuck him against a wall

Isn't really a big fan of degrading

It really depends on what you say doesn't mind being called a slut

Would love to roleplay

He wants you to mark him and talk him through it.

Has a breeding kink

"Please breed me." Changbin moaned, holding your shoulders.

"I know, baby, I know, baby." You groaned, kissing his neck

Hyunjin

Doesn't openly show it but is very excited.

Has been thinking about it for a long time

He doesn't want you to be gentle with him, but he won't openly tell you that.

You'll have to push him enough to tell you what he wants

He'll put his hand on yours and bring it to his neck for you to choke him

Loves when you degrade him

Call him your little slut or whore and he'll melt

Overstimulate or edge him

Claws at your back

Massive pain kick

Slap him, bite him, and he'll be begging for more

He'll be a brat on purpose, so he'll get a punishment

Hyunjin grabbed your hand and placed it on his throat. You squeezed, making his eyes roll back.

"Such a dirty slut." You said and used your other hand and slapped his ass.

Jisung

Immediately in bed, ready to be fucked

Ass up head down

Has been waiting since you started dating even before that

Doesn't care where you fuck him

Kitchen, bedroom, living room, doesn't care

Also has a breeding kink

Will dress up in a lingerie or a dress

And put on makeup just for it to get ruined

Will call you whatever you want daddy,mommy,mistress,Master

Likes it rough but also gentle(if that makes sense)

He'll be so fucked out that he goes cross-eyed

Loves sucking on your chest

"So good mommy/daddy don't stop feels so good" han moaned out as he folded your chest

you grabbed han hair, pulling his head back. You leaned down to kiss his neck, "so pretty"

Felix

Acts shocked as if he hadn't been hinting to it

Has the biggest feminist kink

Call him baby girl, doll, princess, and his eyes are rolling back

Very vocal in bed from the beginning to the end

Likes to call you daddy (female or not)

If you put my in front of one of his nicknames, he'll cum on the spot

Whould love to be fucked in public.

Will try anything once

He loves to Roleplay his favorite roleplay is nerd and cheerleader/jock

Wants to be recorded while you fuck him

Loves to eat you out

"Such a pretty little slut." You said walking around felix with a camera.

"Say hi babygirl."

Felix whimpered as he tried to smile.

Seungmin

His not really up for it a first.

But then he started to think about it and looked into it and realized how fun it looks

Will shyly ask if you're still up to dom him

He wants to try petplay

Loves to ride your strap on

Likes to lick and suck on your neck

Trys kissing you will you fuck him

Will cling to you as you fuck him arm holding onto you tightly

Loves being called puppy or pup

Loves to cuddle after your done wants to be held.

Giggles, when you kiss all over his face

He definitely wouldn't mind doing it again

"Mmmh, pup doing so good for me such a good puppy." You said as he held on to you. His eyes rolled back

Jeongin

Very confused asking to think about it first

When he decides he wants to do it, he'll ask it your still up for it

Wants to eat you out first then will ask you to fuck him

Also, is one who wants you to hold his hand

Very vocal in bed

Like when you talk him through it

Loves when you call him your good boy or my love

Goes cross-eyed when he cums

Whimpering mess when you jerk him off

If you don't let him cum, he'll beg you and cry saying that his you're good boy and please let him cum

Will moan and whimper in your ear

Loves to take baths with you after, wants you to message him in the bath

"Please, please don't stop fuck I'm your good boy." He whimpered out holding your hips

"Such a good boy for me, baby." You replied to him as you leaned down to kiss him

First post, so I hope yall like it 💓

[ipegchangbin]

— boypussy!skz.

18+ only. minors do not interact.

sub!skz. dom!reader.

🏷️ boypussies, use of toys (a dildo machine and a cumming toy), breeding kink, oral (cunnilingus), pain kink (pussy biting), squirting.

— bang chan

chan is no stranger to having his cunt used. he loves it when you rub your skin against him just to tease, or slide toys in his tight and wet hole. considering how pretty his folds look and how huge his oversensitive clit is, it’s easy to get him on edge by just flicking your tongue against it. he especially loves it when you lock your lips around his clit, sucking on the bud, making him squirm and writhe under you.

“t-too good,” he’d whine, attempting to cage your head between his trembling thighs; it’s no use with the way your arms lock his legs down so you could concentrate. chan’s desperation to orgasm washes over him as you lap up at his sweet clit, taking your time to taste his juices in between flicks. the savory taste of his folds paired with the delicious whimpers only spur you on. you could eat him out for hours.

“y-y/n,” he stutters, “i’m close!” and he instinctively tries to push you away from his cunt, but your lips are attached to his aching clit and it feels so good. too good. chan’s head spins even more when you shove your fingers inside him and you clamp his clit in between your lips and tongue. chan creams all over you, embarrassed at how wet and sticky his cum is, but you eat it and show your tongue to his shy face.

“you’re so sensitive, channie.”

— minho

it’s no surprise that your favorite catboy has one hell of a pussy to play with. there’s something about his that screams addictive to you: maybe it’s the taste of it. he’s particularly sweet, surprising for a boy who creams more than he squirts. it doesn’t help that of all the places on his cunt, his hole is heartwarmingly delicious, as if it was made for your tongue to stick inside. minho loves it when you’re casual with it. any agenda of his to out-brat your other boys is thrown out the window every time you caress his pussy and stick a finger inside his creamy walls.

“so needy for a boy who claims to hate this,” you smirk, “aren’t you such a liar?”

“i’m not,” minho’s voice vibrates, “just stop making it feel good!”

but of course, you don’t stop. you keep going. you dip your head down to his cunt and replace your fingers with your tongue every now and then, sometimes biting his thighs when he dares to close his legs around you. he barely speaks until he’s a squeaking mess, begging and creaming on your fingers in an endless orgasm that just won’t stop.

“don’t pull out,” minho pleads with wide eyes while he shoves your fingers back inside his sticky cunt. “i want to feel full.”

— changbin

puffy, pretty, and pink. his hole hides cutely behind chubby lips and it’s delightfully sensitive along the sides. he loves being penetrated most, his nerves connecting and jolting best when you stretch his tight hole with yourself. whether it be fingers or a cock, changbin gets shy yet increasingly more greedy with every thrust of anything that enters his cunt.

“am i a good boy?” he asks every now and then. you reassure him with kisses that yes, he’s indeed so good, taking the biggest dildo so well even if it’s pushing his limit. he’s unsurprisingly a size king, which is surprising considering how tight he is. even if the monster cock toy leaves him gaping, his pussy has the magical ability to revert back to being too small for your two fingers right after.

“i want to cum!” he whines over and over, chasing your lips for another kiss while he bounces on the dildo again. he loves workouts but his body is so sore from bouncing. it doesn’t help that, instead of helping him finish, you simply push down on his puffy tummy and let him feel the whole size of the toy inside him.

you ask “is it good?” and he nods speechlessly, only to respond seconds later with a loud whimper. you look down to see his cream leaking down the dildo, coating all of it in his juice. when you finally pull the toy out, changbin whines into your warmth, hiding his pretty pussy as his cum seeps out all the way onto your thighs.

— hyunjin

hyunjin’s biggest kink is to get creampied, so he did something behind your back. he ordered a cumming dildo, and of course, used it right away. his cunt couldn’t be any more excited — the only thing rivaling how sopping wet he gets is when you’re actually playing with him. hyunjin could settle with this for now, his pussy only dripping more until his panties got soaked as he connected the cum lube to the toy.

from how wet he was, the big toy slid in with ease; he felt like crying as soon as it hit his limit, squishing his insides even if the toy hasn’t filled him up with cum yet. so, as he would do with you, he moved his hips to “please” the dildo and felt the toy all the way inside. his instinct to be bred, one that came along with having a cunt as beautiful as his, overloaded his system as he greedily rode the toy. he definitely minded when you came in the room to help him, though.

“y/n, please, breed me!”

cutely enough, his moans fill the room as you pressed the mole on the side of his pussy. your laughter along with your hands helping his hips down made him leak cum, but he didn’t dare stop. you grabbed the end of the toy and squeezed cum to load out of it, which only urged hyunjin to keep going. the cum filled him up slightly, but not quite — the boy kept bouncing so as to “empty” the cock inside him. that was, until the toy finally emptied, hyunjin’s body spent after five consecutive orgasms. the cum seeped out, flooding out of his beautifully folded lips like a waterfall of delight.

“good boy,” you say, “how about you get the real thing, hmm?”

— han jisung

his pussy is the freakiest, having tasted it all from your antics: he’s taken vibrators in public and he lost his pussy’s virginity to you. who wouldn’t treat it as cruelly as you do? why not, when jisung tends to leak his wet essence messily each time you play with it, especially since he’s tried so many toys with you?

the one toy jisung hasn’t tried yet was a dildo machine. he can immediately feel the heat pooling in his core at the mere sight of you stroking the dildo, teasing him by previewing the speed controller. his legs instinctively closed and tightened firmly to hide the wetness running down his leg. but jisung blinked twice, and unbelievably instantly, he was suddenly on all fours in front of the machine.

“wait—” he asked, but you didn’t hesitate one bit when you slid the dildo into his cunt.

the machine starts pumping slowly into the boy, stretching him fully and filling him up to his limit before slowly pulling back to leave him empty. then it would thrust back inside again, the squelching of his leaky pussy filling the air alongside his moans and cries. jisung held his ass up high as he melted onto the carpet, drooling and relishing in the picked-up pace.

an orgasm started before he could even prepare, jisung whining loudly not even five minutes into the machine action, before the toy slides out — jisung squirts everywhere without warning, his clear and sweet cum making its way on your thigh even if you were on the couch. that’s how messy he always gets, but he’s never came this fast.

“that’s all? i didn’t buy this for you to cum in three minutes,” you smirk, pushing him back down on the toy.

— felix

something about a freckled pussy is just too cute to you. you loved kissing felix’s cunt for the sole reason that it was just so adorable. the shape of it, the color of it, even the starry sky of freckles littered around his pussy. there’s a lot to kiss, a lot to love, a lot to destroy.

given the oversensitivity of felix’s nerves down his crotch area, it’s easy to overstimulate him. even something as light and lovely as the pecks you leave on the beauty marks and freckled skin gets him writhing. “but i love your pretty pussy,” you justify, leaving lipstick marks all over his cunt in the process.

feeling your lips on his pussy lips is heaven to him. felix grabs onto the sheets, too scared to pull on your head, jutting his hips upwards so that you could kiss him better. it’s all over when you kiss his clit though, all of his nerves reigniting at once as lightning strikes through his core. he instantly gets wet, essence spilling on your bottom lip and chin in the process.

“s-sorry, didn’t mean to…” he could almost cry from the pleasure and the rising need. he feels you smile, even if your face is hovering over him now and not touching his skin in the slightest. he still feels it without looking — he’s too shy now, burying his face in the pillow to the side.

but you’re not done.

you take two fingers down his slit, teasing his severely wet entrance, but it’s all a distraction. felix waits for you to put it in, let him cum, get it over with. the rare impatience grows within the usually patient boy until he feels pain shoot up.

you bit his clit. and it feels so good that he squirts under you, wiggling under you like a poor little boy.

— seungmin

what you don’t expect of seungmin is for him to admit that he’s a squirter. he confessed it in a dirty party game once and ever since then, it’s been your life’s mission to see it in action. you knew that he’d always been so incredibly wet every time he came, but he apparently squirts like a fountain personally sculpted by god.

as you slide your fingers through his cunt, his pussy squelches sinfully. it drenches the sheets beneath him, coating everything in a savory essence that can only be described as a natural aphrodisiac. the wet sounds paired with seungmin’s shy whimpers fills you with an aggression you can’t express without a necessary gentleness on his pussy. as poetic as it is literal, even the scent of his cunt is enough to drive you down between his legs, ready to ruin him.

“no, n-no, don’t do that! i’ll squirt—” seungmin chokes on his own words as your fingers hook his sweet spot, clit violated by your tongue and lips. he practically screams as you bite through your lips, jolting everywhere as his body readies itself for a full orgasm. “i-i can’t take it, too much, too much!”

begs and pleas fill the room for you to both stop and keep going, his grip on your head either pushing you away and pulling you in, he doesn’t know either. but before he could even spare a second thought, he jolts his hips up, followed by a powerful stream of wet cum. he soaks you fully, apologizing with his face behind his hands. you open his fists and kiss his cheeks happily, making him smile contently.

— jeongin

there’s nothing more for him to be confident about than of his freshly shaved pussy. he promised to be a good boy for you on this date night, and in the off-chance that you were going to treat him, then he had to be at his best. now here you both were, making out on the couch, jeongin whimpering because the both of you were still fully clothed after an hour of teasing.

“what’s wrong?” you ask. “i wanna show you my pussy…” jeongin shyly asks, every shroud of prior confidence leaving him as the desperation kicks in. you only chuckle in response, the delightful sound making his clit firm in excitement. but you don’t do anything. it’s a part of your teasing, sure, but he’s been waiting so excruciatingly long for you and it shows through his needy whines.

jeongin finally takes it upon himself to tug at your tie; you pull down at the hem of his pants , revealing his panties, only to shove both down in only two swift moves. it catches jeongin by surprise, but it’s nothing compared to the shock on your face to see his clean pussy.

you love him hairy and you love him clean, you don’t really mind either. jeongin’s still the same, the prettily creamy folds presenting themselves to you along with a hidden slit that can only be described as angelically cute. you finger it immediately, all teasing discarded along with both your clothes, and your haste brings him over the edge. “y/n,” he pants, your name being the only thing on the tip of his tongue as he immediately creams all over your hands.

but date night isn’t quite done yet.

[quokkadoolsetnet]

SUB SKZ TWT LINKS

overstimming 🐺 so hard he shakes and squirts everywhere

🐰 using your vibrator and recording it to send to you while you are out.

🐷🐰 using the new toy you bought him.

🥟 humping your pillow because he misses you

overstimming 🐿️ while he squirms and shakes

🐥 getting off to the thought of you punishing him for touching without you.

🐶 making himself cum twice

🦊 holding your hand while you tease him

[minminyoonjii]

Forever clawing at the cement walls that surround me for needing to call Felix mommy

❤️Ultimate Masterlist

💜Rules and Guidelines

🕯Summary: There's nothing a good old-fashioned BJ can't fix, especially when you're stressed.

🌹CW

Fem Dom! Reader|Heel Grinding|Oral Sex|Blow Job|Oral Fixation|Messy Head|Edging|Praise Kink|Wet & Messy|Voyeurism|Mommy Kink|Pervert! Jisung|Aftercare

You sighed, rubbing your sore neck, "Baby?" you questioned, closing the front door behind you. Felix peeked his head out of his room, "You're home early," he pointed out, walking towards you. "Yeah. Is that a problem?" you teased, leaning forward. Felix chuckled, placing a peck on your lips, "Nope, not a problem at all. I was planning to bake something later if you want to join," he prompted, biting his bottom lip.

"I'd love to," you said, pulling him in for a hug. "Maybe we could catch a movie or two after," you suggest, squeezing him close. Felix giggled against your chest, "Sounds great," he said, looking up at you. "Call me down when you want to start baking, sunshine. I need to wash up," you groaned, rolling your shoulders. Felix smiled, "Sure can do, I'll set an alarm," he said, making a beeline towards his gaming room. 

You stripped off your clothes, setting the water just right before getting in. The feeling of water coaxing your skin instantly made you relax and soon thoughts began to pour. Some pure and some filthy, you imagined how the rest of your day would play out. Baking and then cuddles sound absolutely perfect but an itch deep within your brain thought of less wholesome things. You shook your head, blaming the heat of the water for your dirty ideas.

The thoughts spiraled from sucking Felix off before the timer rang or pinning him against the kitchen counter while he's stirring the baking batter. "Fuck," you whispered, pinching your cheeks. You sighed, getting out of the shower, "I need a drink," you mumbled to yourself, tying a towel around your body. You walked towards the kitchen, searching for anything cold in the fridge to subdue your thirst. 

A loud thud came from Felix's room, "What is the healer doing, we're getting crit here," he groaned, tossing his headphones in frustration. You knocked on the door, making him flinch, "Are you alright, baby?" you asked, opening the door. Felix nodded, "Yeah, just shitty teammates," he grumbled, crossing his arms. You cooed, placing a kiss on his forehead, "You'll get them next round," you encouraged. Felix's cheeks burned, noticing that you were only in your towel.

You furrowed your eyebrows at his silence, "Ah," you chuckled, seeing his agape jaw. Felix closed his mouth when you tilted his chin up. His eyes waver under your stare. The shower thoughts from earlier came forward again but this time you weren't going to stop them. You got on your knees, cleavage perfectly plump for him to stare at, "Do you want this baby?" you whispered, seeing Felix quickly close his game tabs.

He nodded, "Please, Mommy looks so pretty," he whined, gripping his seat. You cooed, "Can you do something for mommy before that?" you asked, hand grazing over his obvious bulge. "Yes, yes. Anything mommy wants," Felix said, eager to please you. "Good boy. Now turn on your recording system and plug in your mic, sunshine. Mommy wants you to hear yourself fall apart," you purred, pulling down the zip of his pants.

Felix moaned at the idea and did what you said, "Mommy," he keened, bucking his hips against your palm. You hummed, rubbing your throbbing clothed cock. Precum leaking through the tip. "Hah, Hhgh," Felix mewled, back arching to feel more. You chuckled, pressing your thumb between his clothed slit, drenching his boxers in slick. Felix sobbed, "Mama, mommy. No mo-more, teasing," he whimpered, aching to feel your mouth or hand around his cock.

You cooed, "Aww, but you're so pretty, sunshine. Look at the pretty mess you made," you said, showing him your slick-covered hand. Felix whined, pulling your wrist towards his mouth and taking a lick. You chuckled out a moan, "Mommy's dirty little prince, aren't you," you praised, tugging his boxers down to his calves, letting his cock slap against his plush tummy. "Mommy's prince," Felix mewled, tossing his head back when you finally stroked his cock.

"Moan for mommy, sunshine," you purred, pumping his cock within your palm. Twisting your wrist at his throbbing cockhead. Precum leaked all over his thighs. "Ah, hah, hah, ah," Felix panted, lips wobbling from pleasure. You gulped at the sight of your lover falling apart, "Fuck it," you grumbled, tapping his cockhead against your tongue. Felix squealed, staring down at you with half-lidded eyes, "Too much, it's too much," he babbled, overstimulated by your stimulating tongue working his slit apart.

You moaned, wrapping your lips around his cockhead just to hear him cry from the pleasure. Felix sobbed, thighs trembling at the waves of arousal buzzing through his body, "Need to cum, Mama," he cried, his cock throbbing on your tongue. You hummed, sending more stimulating vibrations. Felix sucked on his bottom lips, abs tensing from the appending orgasm. You smirked around his cock, waiting for the moment his body arched and you pulled off.

Felix sobbed, tears spilling down his cheeks at the denial, "Mo-mommy!" he sniffled, his cock hard and aching. You shifted your body, heel placed directly on your bare clit, "Aww, I know pretty baby. Mommy knows," you cooed, licking a stripe up Felix's shaft. He keened, gripping the seat hard. You blew on his warm cockhead, smiling at the way he shivered, "Just relax, yeah?" you whispered, flattening your tongue to take his cock to the hilt.

"Shit, shit. Feel so good," Felix slurred, eyes rolling to the back at the warmth engulfing his cock. You bobbed your head at a relentless pace, his cock head making a filthy 'pop' sound every time he slid perfectly down your throat. Felix thrashed in his seat, his body quivering from the immense pleasure. You ground your hips, chasing your own orgasm as you swallowed around Felix's cock. "Cum-cumming," he wailed, digging his nails into the seat.

You sucked, gulping down every last drop. Felix mewled, his body convulsing as your mouth held a tight suction around his cock. You moaned, eyes rolling back as you came, soaking your feet with slickness. Felix's body twitched, cumming again from the overstimulation. You pulled off his cock, laying your head on his thigh. Felix lay spent, "Kiss," he rasped, jutting his bottom lip. You chuckled, wobbly standing up to kiss him.

Felix melted into your warmth, "Thank you, Mommy," he whispered, nuzzling your chest. You cooed, patting his hair, "Anytime, sunshine," you said, kissing his forehead. "You forgot to mute our call," Jisung said, jolting Felix from his daze. You shifted his messy tabs and pulled up Discord, only to see a flustered Jisung on the other end, "Didn't Chan teach you privacy, Ji?" you smirked, eyeing his oddly placed lotion on the desk.

Jisung whined, "How is it my fault your boyfriend is dumb," he grumbled, crossing his arms. "Hey, I'm not dumb," Felix retorted, glaring at the screen. You rolled your eyes, "You should've stopped listening the moment you heard him moan, Ji," you teased, turning on the camera. Jisung gulped at the sight, the both of you disheveled with post-clarity evident on your faces "Sounded hot," he mumbled, looking away. You smirked, "What was that?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ugh, you both sounded hot now fuck off," Jisung rambled, ending the call. You looked at Felix and instantly burst into laughter, "Do you still want to bake?" you asked, wiping a stray tear. Felix nodded, "Yeah, just let me wash up and we can start," he said, pulling you in for another kiss. 

[taekjo0]

Heaven: Bang chan x Male reader

Pairing; Bang Chan x Male reader

Afab DNI!

Cw; Car sex, hair pulling, spit used as lube, dom! Bang Chan, sub! Reader, cockwarming, spanking, hickies, oral sex, rimming, nipple play, choking, deep throat, passenger prince(?), mentions of alcohol, drunk reader, pet names, degradation, fucked dumb/dumb fucked

an; It took hot minutes in between this to let my brain process.

You kept your eyes focused on the tinted car window, avoiding eye contact with Bang Chan. Since you had snuck out that night, he had a dissatisfied expression plastered across his face. Your friend, Felix, had texted him that you were completely hungover after swigging down multiple shots of alcohol, so he came to pick you up. Chan shifted his gaze towards you, whose cheeks were flushed from the alcohol.

"What prompted you to go out and have a drink?" He glanced over at your intoxicated state, earning a muffled 'I don't know' from you. Chan scoffed before pulling into the driveway of your house. You tried to get out of the car, but he locked the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" He muttered while pushing your seat back all the way and straddling you. He unfastened his belt along with unbuckling yours and pulled his lengthy member out of his boxers. Following that, he removed your boxers and placed the tip of his penis against your entrance.

You squealed as you felt his penis enter your back hole, despite it only being a quarter inside you. He had one hell of a big dick... He pushed deeper into you, causing you to gasp and mumble. "Huh? You like that? Slutty boy... such a slutty fucking boy." Your tightness then caused him to groan.

Once he was fully in, he pulled out and rammed his dick right back into your warmth, earning a loud moan from you. He continued to thrust faster, and faster. There just seemed to be no end in sight... It just felt like he was fucking you dumb. And to think that he didn't even consider to at least loosen you up first. It felt like your hole was ripping and tearing.

Chan gazed down at you with lustful eyes and then slammed against your prostate, causing you to jerk and moan loudly. Your moans of pleasure caused him to snicker out of amusement. Once he found your good spot, he rammed that particular spot aggressively with his massive cock.

He moaned at the way your hole kept clenching on his veiny member each time he thrusted. He then withdrew his penis from your hole, leaving you feeling empty. He then slapped your ass before shoving you in between his legs, his cock grinding against your cheek. "Suck it like a good boy." He uttered a murmur before grasping a small amount of your hair and squeezing his erection down your throat.

"If you bite it I'll fuck you 'till you pass out." He threatened with a snarl before starting to thrust back and forth into your mouth. After a while of the ruthless thrusts he released into your mouth, his hot, sticky semen coating the back of your throat.

"Swallow." He demanded as you promptly do as told and gulp the white substance down. He then lays back on the seat and forces you to sit on his chest, your back facing him. Following that, he spits on your hole and starts to rim you, licking your hole vigorously. You let out a surprised moan as he inserted his tongue inside you.

He smiled smugly and kissed your hole before starting to leave constellations of hickies all over your thighs.

"How about we go inside and finish there?"

[charmercharm3r]

hershey kisses

LFX

7/8 of the Sleepwear Series

Masterlist

wc: 4.3k

Synopsis: Sugar, spice, and everything nice. And a little salty.

warnings: smut, explicit sexual content, sub!Felix x softdom fem!reader, alcohol consumption, they're both tipsy but not drunk and everything is consensual!!, unprotected sex (wrap it up), oral (m receiving), lots and lots of kisses! (literally used the word 17 times I counted), overstimulation, creampie, very lovey dovey until it isn't

No, you weren’t surprised when you came home to the smell of warm chocolate filling your apartment, though you never got tired of it– Felix had a habit of forgetting to crack a window whenever he was baking. What caught you off guard was the bottles of alcohol taking up space on your kitchen counter. There were tall bottles, short ones, cans of foreign drinks you had no idea what they were. That with the big mixing bowl filled with something chocolatey, you were as confused as ever.

“Hi baby!” He cheered excitedly, beaming a bright smile and waving with enthusiasm. You greeted him back, lightly jogging to where he stood in the kitchen and giving him a kiss.

Licking your lips, you could taste the faint traces of alcohol, looking around to see what he was having. “Without me? You’re having your own party,” you joked, kissing him one more time. Felix chased after you when you pulled away and whined for more, which you couldn’t ever refuse.

“‘M making chocolate whiskey. Had to test run the drinks before putting it in,” Felix went back to mixing the bowl as you found the open bottle of whiskey nearby, lifting it to your nose and cringing back at the smell. 

Finding a clean spoon, you dipped it into the bowl and tasted his concoction. The taste of the alcohol overpowered the chocolate by a mile, “baby, you’re not supposed to be getting drunk off chocolate whiskey.” You tossed it into the sink and grabbed two clean glasses instead, opening the new bottle of rum that sat nearby. There were litters of chocolate packets in addition to whatever other ingredients he’d bought.

“I just thought the more, the better.” Felix opened his mouth for you to put a piece of chocolate on his tongue, drinking it down with a sip of the young rum. He chewed it for a few seconds before his eyes went wide and let out a pleasantly surprised, “mmm!”

You laughed as he opened his mouth for more and cleared a space on the counter so you could sit to watch him. It didn’t take much for either of you to start feeling the effects of the alcohol, the combination of it with the sugary chocolate was addicting. By the time the chocolate whiskey was ready to be chilled, you and Felix were a giggly, tipsy mess. He may have left the bowl in the fridge for a bit too long because he was glued standing between your legs, letting you feed him a piece, kiss his lips, then take another sip. It was tough for him to scoop out of the bowl so you could help him in rolling into a ball, they were almost solid.

It was a nice moment to share, him laughing at anything and everything you said as he attempted to dig the chocolate out of the bowl, still standing so close that your legs brushed his torso. Common was that when the two of you were home together, rarely were you ever not touching one another in some way. Though, it wasn’t always like that. Perhaps his need for skinship rubbed off on you to the point that you don’t remember a time where you hated his invasion of personal space. Your bubble is his bubble.

Eventually, you both grew tired of his little cooking project and decided to let it sit to thaw. Without missing a beat, Felix enticed you into sitting on the floor of your shared living room with the seemingly endless bags of chocolate and a few more bottles of alcohol. The two of you were testing how the different liquors tasted with the sweets.

His back was against the couch and legs spread for you to sit cross legged between them. Felix mindlessly traced patterns on the tops of your knees, watching intently the dainty way your fingers unwrapped the chocolate and made its way into your mouth. He didn’t seem to notice his tongue poking out and licking across his bottom lip. It was cute, you couldn’t help but poke his tongue back into his mouth, though it didn’t make him stop staring.

Felix was never afraid of eye contact, in fact it’s why you were attracted to him in the first place. He made you feel seen, like he was always listening to whatever you had to say. Even if the things you said didn’t make sense, he contributed to it and always played along, like now.

“Do you ever get tired of drinking alone with me?” You didn’t think as you asked the question, taking a small sip of rum. Felix had stolen the bottle from you, rapidly shaking his head, no.

“Never. It’s more fun when it’s just us. Why do you ask?” He bent his knees, encasing you between his legs like a makeshift shield.

“Just ‘cause… I worry sometimes.” Shrugging and popping another sweet into your mouth, you didn’t raise your head to meet his eyes.

“That I’m not enjoying myself?” Felix held your chin between his thumb and forefinger and brought your face up. The slight fall of your shoulders made him coo, “oh, baby. You know I’d rather drink warm alcohol with you than be overstimulated in a loud, crowded bar with overpriced drinks any day of the week.”

Wise choice of his words, your ears perked, “overstimulated, you say?” You looked at him now and wiggled your eyebrows. Felix’s laughter echoed throughout the room as he dazedly fell forward into your arms, swaying the two of you back and forth. He was incredibly warm, that boy could’ve baked cookies on his abs if he laid out in the sun long enough. 

“But seriously, babe,” he nuzzled into your neck, placing soft, uncalculated kisses, “I could never get tired of being with you. Besides! We’re the fun ones.” His hands slipped down to your ass, cupping handfuls to pull you flush against his chest and crotches pressed together. No matter how small the action, you could feel the slight twitch in his pants.

You shifted to straddle him more comfortably and thread your fingers through his hair. “See, I know that you’re right but I still feel like I’m keeping you from hanging out with your friends.” The change in mood had him looking at you in the eyes, particularly sad about the pout on your lips.

“Why do you think that?” Felix brushed stray hair from your face, keeping your cheek in his palm and the other firmly on your ass.

“I dunno, guess it’s just lingering insecurities. Most guys use it as an excuse to break up with their partners, ya know.” Your tone wasn’t accusing, but rather matter of factly.

“Don’t you know by now I’m not like most guys?” raising an eyebrow at you, Felix smirked.

“Mhm, poetic and cringey. Gimme kiss.”

He caved without another thought and melted against your lips, tongue tasting like chocolate and alcohol and love. He loves kissing more than anything else, claiming it makes him feel so close to you. He’d do it anywhere, anytime and all you had to do was ask. It made him get a little dumb sometimes and get a bit too lost in the plush of your lips.

Though, he pulled away before that could happen, “was that sarcasm?” You raised an eyebrow. “I can be poetic, forreal.”

“I never said you couldn’t,” you laughed.

“Listen, listen,” Felix let go of you for a second to suck on another piece of chocolate, letting it melt. “Kiss me once,” the tone of his voice was as soft and deep as it’d go, he pecked your cheek, “and kiss me twice,” on the other side, “then kiss me once again.” Goosebumps covered your skin as the bass-like vibrations of his words drifted through you like a melody, pressing his lips to yours once more and immediately followed by the chocolate flavor. His tongue coated yours with the sugary treat and you felt hungrier than you’d had all day. Though, with the flush on his cheeks and gentle way he kissed you, Felix looked more than fit to eat.

Keeping you tight against him, his hands tangled themselves into your hair as he broke away to speak again breathlessly, “it’s been a long, looong time.” He took his time to say the words, smooth, sultry, dragging out each syllable. “Haven’t felt,” peck, “like this, my dear,” smooch, “since can’t remember when. It’s been a,” nuzzle, “long,” caress, “looong,” kiss, “time,” and a deep, gasping lock of your lips together. Everything felt like it was happening in slow motion, yet all too fast. The effects of the alcohol were blanketing both your already intensely present arousal and desire to make the two of you a needy, desperate mess, grasping and groping one another as if either of you’d disappear at any second.

As you grind harder into him, Felix’s hips cant up and he can’t help but moan into your mouth. The fondness that fueled you was the same thing that caused you to pull away and say, “that sounds a lot like a song I know.”

“Nope, came straight from my humongous brain.”

“If your name is Louis Armstrong, then yeah, I believe you.” He gripped the undersides of your thighs and lifted you off the floor, headed for your shared bedroom.

“I was thinking more like Kitty Kallen’s version.”

He sat on the edge of the bed and sat you on his lap again, pulling you down with him as Felix laid back. The pink decorating his cheeks as a result of all the drinking made him glow, charming eyes glossed over ever so slightly and looking up at you so warmly. You reached down to cup his cheek, run your thumb over his bruising red lips. They fell open, parting just a little for you to push the digit in. He stuck his tongue out before you could and guided it by the pad of your thumb, immediately closing his lips and sucking gently. “Pretty kitty,” you whispered, simply admiring him.

Neither of you spoke for a little while longer, just looking at each other with alcohol induced gazes and hearts in your eyes. Then you pull your thumb away, a string of saliva following as you stick it in your own mouth to taste the chocolate and rum mixture. Felix watched you with doe eyes and tongue poking at the corner of his mouth once again. “Mmm, sweet,” you say as you peck his lips one more time. “How’re you feeling?”

Felix just tugged you in again, groaning against your lips louder. Pushing him back lightly, “answer me, baby.”

“‘M perfectly tipsy, ‘nd I want you,” he pawed at the waistband of your shorts and underwear, tugging and letting the elastic snap against your skin.

Giggling when you dove down to kiss his cheek and scatter them around his face, Felix couldn’t keep his hands from continuing to roam, squeezing and caressing every part of your body firmly and lovingly. It was his way of appreciating you, telling you without telling you how infatuated he is. You traversed beneath his jaw, down his neck and occasionally biting his skin to feel his hands grip you tighter. It took a bit of coercing to make him pull away long enough to get rid of his and your shirts, even more so to get you both naked seeing as neither of you were able to keep your hands to yourselves.

But when you finally did, Felix propped himself on his elbows as he watched you, ogled your naked body from top to bottom until he met your eyes. He tilted his head down, waiting patiently for you to make a move. You cock your head to the side, “feeling a bit lazy tonight, pretty kitty?”

The slightly calm yet authoritative tone you took made Felix bite his lip and shake his head, no. “Oh? Just wanna be taken care of then?” His cock twitched at that, a bead of precum dribbling onto his abdomen. “I know you do, sweetheart.” You spread his knees wider and kneeled between them, then tucked his heels in tight to either side of your body. “Just relax, okay pretty kitty?” Felix whimpered in return, unable to look away as you peered up at him.

Keeping your eyes locked, you stuck your tongue out and ran it from the base, all the way up. His entire body shivered, goosebumps spreading along every inch of his skin. When you flattened your tongue to taste more of him, Felix let out a long sigh accompanied by his thigh muscles tensing and hands attempting to restrain themselves. While some might be put off by his intense stare, it was enthralling to you, especially the way he slowly blinked and rolled his eyes back when you did something he was particularly sensitive to. His hips kicked up and shallowly thrusted when you took him in your mouth, his own jaw completely slack and on the verge of drooling.

Felix was always a sucker for that, the messy, wet, lewd feeling that came from doing anything with your mouth. When you began to bob your head up and down his tip, occasionally dipping your tongue into his slit, he cried for more. You gave it to him because his pleas were just so cute, and took more, just holding him in your mouth. When the saliva started to build under your tongue, then you moved. The slurping noises and his whines sounded so good together that you were afraid he’s cum from that alone, it wouldn’t be the first time. Both of you were already worked up, the alcohol made you hazy enough to not feel the soreness in your jaw from keeping it open for so long. Felix was growing closer and closer with each down stroke, nothing but your mouth, drool, and watery eye contact edging him along.

Just as he braced himself tighter to start bucking up, you pulled off with a loud gulp and sat back. Loudly he groaned a high pitched whimper, rutting into the air and cock slapping against his stomach. Sighing, Felix’s body twitched at the loss of contact while you kissed up his abdomen, gently guiding him to scoot further up the bed and lay down. “Wanna try something new?” You say against the skin of his chest and teething lightly at his collar bones.

“New?” he murmured back only half paying attention because of how hot he felt now that you soaking crotch hovered over his.

“In a way. I think you’ll like it though, don’t worry baby. Trust me?”

Felix nodded rapidly and bit his already swollen lips, “trust you.”

Just to keep him on his toes, you crawled back down his body again and planted short but sweet kisses to the inside of his ankles, all the while looking up at him through your lashes. He kept wide eyes in anticipation, growing curiouser and curiouser with every touch of your lips up the length of his skin. As you hiked his knees up to his chest, Felix’s breath hitched. You didn’t dilly dally much longer as your own growing need was becoming overwhelming, simply licking a long, fat stripe from the rim of his ass to his balls, sucking them in for a second and moving to tower over him again. Felix had no idea what to do other than moan at everything you did to him.

He felt exposed with how you looked him up and down, was this how you always felt being below him? Either way, he loved it. He loved the excited glimmer in your eyes and how your nails were already digging into the bottoms of his thighs. He loved how soft your skin felt, the slight dizziness of the alcohol, and how that made him have tunnel vision for you and only you, more than he already did if that was even possible.

You opened his knees up, instructing him to keep them there as you took his cock in hand, giving him a few slow strokes. “Relax, pretty kitty. Gonna make you feel good, okay?”

“Hurry– need you,” he mewled even more, growing impatient the longer you teased yourself with his red, flared tip.

Laughing lightly, you raised yourself higher and positioned him at your entrance and sunk down, slowly until your thighs pressed against the bottoms of his. The unconventional position opened up a whole new world of pleasure, not just for you, but him as well. Though usually he leaned more on the submissive side, Felix always loved to prove himself to you by doing most of the work in bed. 

The tip of his cock fit snug against your sweet spot, not even having to try to aim for it this way. The both of you were already losing your voices moaning, but as you lifted your hips back and slammed back into him, Felix’s eyes rolled back and you knew he was done for. You felt like you were floating despite continuously ramming your body against him.

How brainless he felt, getting fucked without actually getting fucked, and getting fucked hard. The only thing that could’ve made this better was if you were kissing him. Though, he understood why you couldn’t, too lost in your own pleasure to think about that right now. You made up for it by just continuing to use him, disregard him as if he were just a cock to fuck and get yourself off on. That part was unintentional, however, you didn’t stop there.

You pushed your body weight forward, leaning onto him by the backs of his thighs and using gravity to rock into him with every upstroke. If the sound of your skin slapping together didn’t give away what was happening, his moans sure as hell did. And Felix not so silently loved every second of it. He felt vulnerable and filthy and sweaty and intoxicated and so, so enamored. Together for who knows how long and you still never fail to amaze him.

Just that in mind, along with how pussy drunk he was, he was reaching his end much quicker than he’d hoped, but you just felt too good not to blow. You were creeping towards your own and well on your way, clit grinding up and down the top of his cock every time you rolled your hips.

Initially, you were afraid he’d reject your idea, seeing as it might’ve been uncomfortable and he had every right to say no, which you were prepared for. But oh how far from that you were now. Now, even if you weren’t so much focused on his pleasure as you were yours, you could see his belly contracting and attempting to force the high down just to keep up. “Go ahead, baby. Cum. I won’t be mad,” you say with as much brain power as you can muster, seeing as it’s getting harder and harder not to cum, yourself.

His voice, having been whiney and high all night, suddenly dropped into the lower register and bounced along with your tempo, along with his tongue drooping out the corner of his mouth. You took it upon yourself to stick two fingers in your mouth and then pop it into his, his tongue loving the weight and even more that you shoved them in and out in time with your hips. That must’ve been the cherry on top, having something to suck on, Felix attempted to say, “cum– cumming, ah– fuck!”

He let himself go with an extraordinarily loud cry, cum coating his entire dick as you ceased to slow down insearch of your own orgasm. Overstimulated and exhausted, Felix shuddered and was on the verge of tears but couldn’t stop moaning. He held onto your wrists that pinned his knees in place, needing something more to ground him. It burned so painfully good, for both of you. You, with your high on the tip of your tongue and Felix, teetering of either passing out or crying but loving it so much.

But he did neither of those, when you reached your orgasm, it somehow strung one more from him as well, dry and white hot. Your cunt clenched and pulsed so tightly around him that Felix felt like he was almost suffocating within you and if he were to die now, he couldn’t have been happier. It didn’t feel as though your orgasm subsided when you looked down to find your boyfriend with his eyes rolling back, sweaty and red in the face that bled down to his chest, something straight out of a porno.

Letting his now flaccid cock keep you plugged, you leaned over and sweetly kissed his lips, close-lipped and gentle and all too chaste for the events that just occurred. You guided his legs back down and maneuvered to straddle him, somehow doing so without spilling any of his cum and laying your body weight onto his chest. Felix immediately wrapped his arms around you and tipped your bodies over to lay more comfortably.

The room was quiet aside from the both of your heavy breaths and the occasional smack of your lips coming together and breaking apart. “I think I had a sugar high,” Felix muttered into your hair.

You laughed at the random comment, “I think that was more than a sugar high.”

“No, really! How the fuck did you do that?”

“I told you that you’d like it.”

“We need to do that again. I’m so, so serious.” Felix peered down at you, eyes big and suddenly wide awake.

“I don’t think you’ll have to wait too long, baby.” You consoled him, reaching up and stroking his cheek to ask for another kiss. The deep rumble of your belly made the both of you break out into giggles. “Hungry,” you mutter against him.

“Me too.”

“But I’ll be cold if I get up.”

“I’ll come with you.”

You hummed happily, slowly pulling away so that he fell from your pussy as gently as possible but both winced anyway. You were going to get up, but just had to take one last look at him in his post nut glow, “pretty kitty,” you whisper and give him another quick peck.

Digging through his dresser, you stole a pair of his clean boxers and slipped them on, tossing one his way before he followed you. You were about to open the door when you felt the dripping feeling of his cum and ran to grab a napkin to catch it. Felix took it upon himself to leave the room first, not thinking anything of it when he walked into the living room with you on his tail. Then he stopped and you ran face first into his bare back.

“Ack– what the fu–”

Felix was suddenly spinning you around and quickly pushing you back into the bedroom and shutting the door behind him. “What are you–”

“We can never show our faces in public ever again,” he said with a straight expression.

“Why?” You raise your eyebrow.

“Because there's seven of our friends in our living room drinking our alcohol and eating our chocolate and I don’t know why.”

“So why can’t we show our faces in public?”

“Because I’m 100% sure they heard everything we just did.”

The choked gag you let out had you falling back onto the bed, laughing away the embarrassment until he chucked a t-shirt at you with giggles of his own. “They’re your bandmates! You go talk to them,” you encouraged.

“I can’t! I can never look them in the eyes ever again.” Felix slid another shirt over his head as he paced back and forth. “If you go out there, then they can’t say anything because then it’ll be like they’re the weird ones for listening.”

“Okay, okay.” 

Confidently, you shrugged on some sweats for extra decency out of embarrassment and let yourself out into the living room where the seven pairs of eyes avoided your gaze entirely. “Did you at least order food if you’re gonna drink all my alcohol?” You sat yourself on the floor, stealing the rum you were drinking earlier from Jisung– who looked even more disgruntled as you took a sip.

It was silent for a moment before Changbin, leaning into an uneasy Hyunjin on the couch, “Chinese.”

“Nice. I’m starving.”

“How did you get him to make that noise?” Minho on the other side of the coffee table spoke up, seeming genuinely curious. Suddenly all of them seemed interested.

“I think I’d rather die than share that information.”

“At least tell us the position,” he pressed, “for educational purposes.”

It didn’t look like any of them were going to drop the matter. “Why are you all in my house?”

“Felix texted the group chat earlier this afternoon to come over… for game night…” Chan murmured and held up his phone with the group chat, acting a shield for Seungmin and Jeongin to avert their eyes. As you looked around the room, you saw the board for monopoly on the coffee table and all the pieces scattered about. You raised an eyebrow, confused as to when he did that and how they all agreed that tonight of all nights would be game night without bothering to tell you. Then, you turned back to the room to see your boyfriend standing in the doorway, face red as an apple, and not the glowy kind. "I do not remember doing that..."

You could tell he knew he was guilty just by the way he stood, shoulders shrugged and eyes round. Looking back at the group, you deadpanned, “on his back, his legs up and dick pointed do–”

He ran to pick you up and carry you back to the bedroom, echoes of laughter filling the apartment as the doorbell rang, “my Chinese food!” But Felix had already locked the two of you away for who knows what punishments to come.

-

A/N: if someone could enlighten me and tell me the name of this position id actually really love to know...research purposes

tags: @sensitiveandhungry @babebatter @aliferousminho @changbinluvr @epiphanynaffit @fawnpeaks @linovely @dumplinbokkieracha @finnydraws @naturules @djeniryuu @hamburgers101 @skzhomiehopper @yesv01 @hyunjinsamdl @angelica-erin-caelius @dazzlingligth @lvrmin @alexis-reads-fics @linaliskz @0002linoskitten @chillichillicrabcrab23 @mercurezed @zerefdragn33l @straycrescent @binnies-donuts @soldierstangirl-blog @bakedlilgoonie @levanterlily @shelbyyy44

[bandgie]

could you maybe write smth with felix having a mommy and humiliation kink? :3

a/n: yuuhhhh

MDNI 18+, strap use, anal (m!), fem/dom!reader, bondage, feminization

drabble ahead! (451wrds)

When you wear the strap, you're usually the one to fuck Felix. Watching him writhe under you when you sink deeper into him. How his legs wrap around your waist to bring you closer even though he's crying for you to slow down. God, he truly is a sight. 

However, you want to make him work for it this time. You think that you're too easy on him. He starts expecting you to please him. For you to give give give while he takes takes takes. 

That's hardly fair, isn't it?

His hips are messily bouncing on yours. His hands are bound behind his back, long blonde hair messily falls over his face as he pathetically rides you. He's trying though, you give him that. Felix pants and whines, lips trembling in what you can only assume is frustration. 

"Fuck me, please." It's a desperate plea that leaves him. His limp cock dribbles with precum on your stomach, gathering in your belly button. Your response to Felix is a rough slap on his ass. The force makes him yelp, nearly toppling over you and losing his balance. 

You grab the flesh of his ass harshly, stilling his hips so he's fully sat on your silicone cock. He squirms in your grasp, gasping for air as the tip of your strap hits the depths of his stomach. 

"Did I say you could fuckin' speak?" Another slap has him crying out, hot tears sliding down his face. 

He shakes his head aggressively, looking at you with desperation. "I'm sorry! Fuck mommy I'm so sorry." Sobs tumbling from his red lips as well as drool. It runs from the corner of his lips to his chin, mixing with his tears until it drips onto his chest.

Felix can cry all he wants, but you know what your boy likes. He likes to be pushed to his limit and likes to be used until he feels like nothing but a toy that you can break. 

You tut disapprovingly at your lover. The sound of your tongue clicking makes him shiver, more tears sliding down his pretty face. "So much talking," you pinch his ass. "I can't even feel your pussy. Should I use your mouth instead?" 

More tears, and another whimper before he lifts his hips and slams back down. 

"N-no mommy," he manages to speak through his sobs. "I want to cum on your cock. Please l-let me. I'll be good I promise."

His answer makes you smile, though it's hardly innocent. You loosen your grip on his small waist to let him ride you once more. "Oh good boy," your praise makes him shiver. "Keep riding so mommy can cum inside you okay?"

[moonjxsung]

Not Allowed

TV GIRL / NOT ALLOWED

⇢ Pairing: Lee Felix x fem reader

⇢ Summary: You and Felix are childhood friends turned fwb, with no strings attached. Felix leaves to pursue his idol dreams, and you begin your life as a college student. When he comes back to visit your town, he’s drawn to you again- but you’re both leading very different lives.

⇢ Warning: smut lol

⇢ W/c: 15k?

⇢ A/n: inspired by the TV Girl song “not allowed” <3 this has a lot of smut bc the whole song is abt sex so if ur uncomfortable with that, please don’t interact! 

// MINORS DNI // DO NOT STEAL OR REPOST MY WORK

Disclaimer: All characters in this story are 18+. the actions and story represented in this work do not represent Stray Kids in any way; everything described is purely a work of fiction!

“What’s on your nasty old mind?”

Your childhood was by no means perfect. In fact, things seldom worked out in your favor. Born an only child in a middle-class working household, your parents were absent for long periods of time. Mom worked late nights at the hospital in the week, and dad was always away on business trips or out at company meetings. How many of these were actually late-night corporate gatherings and not just another woman he’d sneak off to see, you had no clue. 

School was difficult, although you excelled in your courses, the stress ate away at you and withered you down like a dying flower. Decaying petal by petal, thorn by thorn, you’d find yourself questioning what the purpose of all this was if just to slave away at a desk and make money.

It seemed most everything was at the cost of your time, money, and sanity- except your friendship with Felix. 

Lee Felix- even the name brought back distinct memories. Lazy, carefree afternoons when the two of you would spend hours upon hours scattering the sidewalks with chalk drawings of sea animals and hopscotch squares. Racing each other to the ice cream man’s cart when you’d hear the jingle from a block away. Laughing between singsong acrostic poems over colorful popsicles, the heat melting sticky sweetness onto your fingers, where you’d run them over your tinted red sunburns for some relief. 

Most nights you’d spend at Felix’s house, tucked away in makeshift blanket forts in his bedroom- doing your best to keep hushed while you’d devise plans for tomorrow’s equally carefree July summer day.

Sometimes his sisters would join the two of you, learning all about your games as you’d walk them through the rules and dedicate one of them to the role of referee (per Felix’s sore loser request). But as you grew older, they made their own plans and friends, leaving the two of you to grow up alongside each other. 

Days turned to months, which quickly turned to years that the two of you had been best friends. You observed as Felix grew taller and leaner, his short brown hair framing the introduction of freckles scattered all over his face- cheeks, eyes, and button nose. He couldn’t help but comment when you painted your nails for the first time, remarking he’d forgotten you were a girl sometimes. 

Before you knew it, you and Felix made it to high school, where you each formed your own friend groups. You, a solid group of girls who shared your newfound interest in horror movies and girls nights. And Felix, a group of guys from the soccer team, the sport which he spent most of his teenage years wrapped up in. 

Although you had your own lives, you and Felix remained close. You greeted him with a gentle wave every time you passed each other in the hallways, even if you were with your own groups of friends. Felix admired your newfound love for fashion, often complimenting your outfits when you had a second alone. His favorites usually involved anything olive green- which he made known was the best color on your naturally tanned skin tone. He gave his approval when you got highlights for the first time, experimented with different piercings, and even showed more skin than usual as the spring transitioned to summer. 

You didn’t go unnoticed by the others in your grade- in fact, you became a particularly hot topic when you got your first boyfriend. He was a nerdy little member of the water polo team, with whom you’d spend your days after practice in his car listening to music and sharing stories of his day. It was also then that you shared your first kiss- a short, sloppy encounter in the front of his mom’s green minivan. Nothing that stuck with you in the long run, for the two of you broke up just two weeks later, citing “conflicting schedules”. He was with a new girl a week after that.

Felix was also a popular topic on campus. Girls visited his away soccer games just to watch him play, squealing when he’d score a goal and give them a little wave from down on the field. He had a girlfriend almost every year of his high school career- ranging from the most popular girl in school, to one a year older than him, and even rumors of some from rival schools (none of which were very serious). You often passed him locking lips with a girl when you passed his locker, looking awkward and a bit too happy to be there. It was those times that he had failed to acknowledge you, which you never cared about, considering you indulged in crushes on most of his friends anyway. 

But he still kept you in his thoughts, making small talk when he passed you alone, and even bringing brownies from his mom when she baked a little too much (the famous recipe passed to Felix shortly after). You assured him that things were well, your parents still just as busy, your cat doing just fine, your college applications taking too much time these days. 

He was just as giddy as his younger self, beaming when you shared good news and sending you off with a hug when his girlfriend or soccer buddies would drag him away. You weren’t sure any of them liked you, but they acknowledged you with a small thin-lipped smile every time they came around, which was enough for you. 

Your final year of high school was a turning point for the two of you. You had made it into your first choice of university, a mere two hours from your household, with grades that reflected your hard work. Felix, on the other hand, chose a different career path. 

When he knocked on your door one night, the last person you’d guessed it would be was Felix. You opened the door for him, wrapping your arms around your oversized hoodie that swallowed your frame. 

“Hey!” he said enthusiastically. 

“Felix!” you exclaimed quietly. Nobody was home at this hour, but the way the streetlights lit the dim world beyond your door, it felt odd to talk any louder than this. 

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked politely, to which you furrowed your brows. 

“Yeah, sure... I mean, is it bad? You’re kinda scaring me.”

He chuckled lightly. “It’s nothing bad. I just wanted to give you the news first.”

You squint your eyes, unsure if you should invite him in. It felt odd considering he hadn’t been over in a while, but you didn’t want to make things weird. 

“Yeah- do you want to come inside? Should I sit down for this?”

He chuckled again. “I won’t be long.” 

You stepped aside as he passed through the door, standing with his hands in his pockets as you shut it behind you. 

You led him to the living room, where he sat on the edge of the couch and smiled up at you. You took a seat next to him, facing your body toward him and smiling back. 

“Okay…” you said timidly. 

“Okay,” he began. “You remember when we were little, and I took those dance classes?”

You furrowed your brows at that. “Yeah, the hip hop ones? When you had that little performance?”

“Exactly,” he said. 

“Yeah, I remember. We were so little!”

“We were!” he replied. “Anyway, so I did this tryout at an audition a little while back. It wasn’t really something I told anyone about, you know, in case they rejected me.”

You nodded, waiting for him to continue. 

“And… well… they want me to keep at it.”

You cocked your head slightly, trying to make sense of his vague tone. 

“You mean… you passed the audition?”

A small smile began to form on his lips. 

“Kind of? They want me to keep practicing as a… trainee? And then if I get picked, I could possibly get… signed?” he finished with a questioning tone.

The smile on your face grew as he finished his sentence. 

“They want to sign you?!” you exclaimed, a warm feeling overtaking your chest. 

He laughed. “Not yet, not until I go there and try out officially. But there could be a chance, I guess?”

You jumped up, waving your hands with frantic excitement. “Oh my god, Felix! That’s amazing! You have to do it! When are you- I mean, where are the tryouts? I want to watch as much as I can! How’s that gonna work out with school?”

He sighed. “That was my next point.”

You paused, watching his expression grow worrisome. 

“It’s… in Korea.” 

Felix expected you to cry, to choke up or even to bawl your eyes out. But you didn’t- instead, you gasped with an even bigger smile and gave one solid nod. 

“Go,” you said firmly. “You can’t pass this chance up. There’s always university, and the people here, and life. You may never have this again. Go, and I’ll be rooting for you.”

His smile returned, his eyes narrowing into little crescent moons as he beamed across from you. 

“You think so?” he asked. 

“Oh I know so,” you reply. “Besides, if you get all famous, maybe this stupid town will be known for something other than being a shithole. They’ll say ‘you know that Felix kid’? He’s from there!”

Felix laughed, throwing his head back a little. When the two of you stopped laughing, he looked back at you, appreciation in his expression. 

“You’ve always been here for me. I won’t forget that. Not ever.”

You shook your head, waving a hand. 

“I’m just being a friend, Felix. That’s what we’ve always been to each other.”

He nodded. “Speaking of my best friend, where are you headed after graduation?”

You raised an eyebrow at him, cocking your head in the direction of the acceptance letter on the coffee table. “I don’t think there was ever a version of this universe where I’d be okay with not going.”

Felix’s jaw hung open, head shaking in disbelief. “Well I think this version of the universe knows how lucky they’d be to have you,” he said, extending his arms out for a hug, which you gladly accepted. 

Felix held you against his chest for a minute, rubbing small circles into your back as he remarked how proud he was of you. You parroted the statement, telling him you knew he was going to make it big.

When he pulled away, his eyes darted to your lips for a brief second, and then back up to your eyes. “I can’t tell if that’s the same lip gloss you wore when we were younger.”

You chuckled. “Why would I keep the same tube of lip gloss from a decade ago?”

He smiled, a little embarrassed at his own remark. “I don’t know! You always wore that one. Strawberries? Or something like that.”

“Raspberries,” you said with a smile, and he held his gaze on yours for a second. 

“Raspberry,” he echoed. “She wore raspberry.”

And in the midst of lingering seconds, he gently leaned into you, a strand of black hair falling over one eye. 

“y/n… Can I… Would it be weird if I kissed you?”

You were startled for a second, as the action hadn’t crossed your mind in the time you’d known him.

“I mean, nevermind… sorry, that was weird. I’m just excited and I guess I felt like that would… lock in the moment? God, I’m sorry, that sounds so dumb-”

You chuckled at his nervousness. “Felix, if you wanted to lock in the moment, I’m pretty sure that little tangent did it enough.”

He chuckled too, a little disappointed you didn’t agree.

“Right, that’s probably true. I don’t even know why I asked that. We’re just friends after all, and it’s not like I came here to do that. I literally just got out of my relationship and I promise I’m not hitting on you-”

“Felix,” you interrupted. “I’m happy too. Come here,” you said gently, pulling his face to yours.

He smiled before pressing a tender kiss to your glossed lips, smiling into it and instinctively reaching a hand up to cup your cheek. 

When he pulled away, you laughed and wiped the sweet residue from the corners of his mouth. 

It didn’t feel any different between you two, only your happiness for him was elevated by the emotions running through you following the encounter.

“I’m so, so proud of you,” you told him again. “And I know you’re going to do great things.”

“I’m proud of you,” he echoed. “I don’t leave for a few months, if you want to do something? I mean as friends, obviously…”

You rolled your eyes jokingly. “A celebratory kiss doesn’t change anything between us. Duh, we can do something as friends.”

He laughed lightly. “Cool. I should get going, but we’ll catch up later?”

You nodded, gesturing to the door. “You know the way.”

And with that, he slipped back out into the night, his own house only a few blocks away. 

*

Graduation came and went, and the two of you seemed to have reconnected again in ways you hadn’t during the entirety of high school. Felix would stop by in the early mornings, sometimes with little desserts he’d baked, and you’d enjoy them in the warm summer heat that enveloped your front porch.

For the first time ever, the two of you connected as blossoming adults. He told you tales of his past lovers- girls you now learned he would usually meet at soccer games away from your campus. He said he only ever really cared for one of them, whom he later broke up with to pursue somebody else he had his eye on. Defeating the purpose of him stating he ever cared for her, in typical Felix fashion.

He recalled the time he got caught cheating on his final math exam in sophomore year, which the teacher excused for how “tired he looked” (his words), and let him off with a gentle warning. He shared that he stayed up late practicing his dance and recording little songs on GarageBand, files which he’d save under recipe names on his computer, in case somebody accidentally came across one. Chocolate Cheesecake was his most recent, one which he’d gone so far as to upload a little thumbnail of the dessert for anonymity. 

You soaked in his tales like you did the sunshine, laughing at his ability to turn the most outlandish scenarios into an adventure. You envied the way he had this long list of stories to pass down before he was even in university. But you shared your own stories back to him, albeit not the most exciting ones. You failed your driver’s test 3 times before finally passing, to which your instructor tentatively warned you to avoid busy streets for a few months.You almost set your house ablaze one night when you slept with a candle lit on your window sill. Nobody was hurt, but your mom scolded you for what felt like a lifetime. Your parents were going through a difficult patch right now, one you could see the possibility of ending in divorce. At this, Felix’s expression turned serious, swallowing at your words and nodding empathetically. 

After exchanging a series of comforting words, he smiled over at you, chuckling at the way you licked your fingers clean of his famous fudge brownies. 

“Is there a lucky guy?” he asked suddenly, wiggling his eyebrows in a curious manner. 

“What?” you replied, trying your best to recall if you’d ever passed his house in the presence of another guy. Nothing came to mind- you hadn’t even pursued another boyfriend since your little water polo romance. 

He chuckled. “Come on, there has to be somebody. I just told you all about the relationship I got out of. Think that’s reason enough to distract me with your version.”

You shook your head, smiling. “Absolutely no one. I don’t think I can do another car seat romance right now.”

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “A car seat? That’s risque! You weren’t afraid of getting caught?”

You shook your head. “What’s the harm in getting caught kissing? That’s hardly a big deal!”

He furrowed his brows. “Oh sorry, I thought… something else.”

You paused for a brief moment, understanding his implications. “Felix… are you… inquiring about my sex life right now?”

His freckles almost disappeared as his face turned a bright shade of red. He was afraid if you sat any closer, you might feel the heat radiating from the tips of his ears. 

“No! I wasn’t- I just thought,” he stammered. 

You laughed in response. “You could’ve just asked if I was a virgin, you know. That’s not weird.”

His blush grew brighter, if even possible. “Oh god. I didn’t come here to try and get details out of you, I promise. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

You shook your head. “You’re one of my best friends. I would likely tell you if I killed someone, you know.”

He laughed, the flush of his cheeks dying out a little. “Right.” 

After a brief pause, you tilted your head in his direction. “Never.”

He raised his eyebrows a little, trying not to offend you with his reaction. “Never?”

You shook your head no. “Never! It just never happened. Of course if the right guy came along, I wouldn’t be opposed to it. But I’m not going to have sex with just anyone. It’s not that important to me.”

He nodded, taking in your words. There’s a kind of admiration he had for your thought process. And then he began to speak. 

“Me neither.”

You almost jumped up in the swinging bench bench from beside him. “What? No way, I don’t believe you. You’re just saying that to make me feel better!”

He shrugged. “I don’t think I was with anybody long enough to get to that point. Plus, it’s not like I was ever away from my parents or teammates to get up to that kind of stuff.”

You made sense of his words, a silence falling over the two of you. 

“I mean…” he continued. “One of the girls at our second away game of senior year kind of… touched me? In the locker rooms?”

You stifled laughter. “I don’t need to hear the gory details of your almost handjob, Felix.”

He laughed back. “It was over my gym shorts!” 

“Okay, okay! I get the gist!” you retorted, laughing into your hands. 

The two of you fell silent again, the buzz of the cicadas bringing you back to reality for a moment. 

“I should get going,” you tell him. “But thank you for the brownies. You really don’t have to keep bringing them. I’m going out with the girls later so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“We could,” he said suddenly. 

“What?” you replied, unsure of where his statement fit into your farewell.

“We could. Have… sex?” he clarified. You began to laugh, until you noticed his facial expression had turned serious.

“Felix? What are you proposing right now?”

He shrugged. “I’m not dating anyone. You’re not dating anyone. Neither of us have crossed it off our lists. It’s not like it has to be some big, emotional thing, y’know?”

Your eyebrows furrowed, and then quickly transitioned into a frown. “Are you just trying to get in my pants?”

His face panicked. “No, god no. I’m sorry. I just thought maybe you’d want to. I mean you’re going to college and there will probably be a ton of opportunities for it there. I’ll be living with like 20 guys for a while… I dunno, I just thought… It's stupid. I’m sorry.”

You thought over his words for a while. The thought of it didn’t turn you on- having sex with your childhood best friend. In fact, it was a little gross. But he was right- you hadn’t really checked it off your young adult list. And you wouldn’t see him for months, so any awkward emotions that arose would have months to pass by and dissipate. 

“I’m gonna get going,” he said. “I’m sorry, I feel like I ruined things.”

“Okay,” you said. “Let’s do it.”

His eyes widened. “What?”

“You’re going to propose it and then act like I’m crazy for agreeing?” you replied.

“No, no! I mean- yeah. But only if you want to. Nothing emotional, if you don’t like it we can stop there. But we’ll have the story to tell when we’re both gone.”

“You make it sound like we’re dying, Felix.”

He chuckled. 

“Let’s go inside. I’m not having my first time on a bench outdoors,” you finished.

He nodded, swallowing a big gulp of air. “Okay. I- do you want to take my hand? Or-”

You shook your head, chuckling at how awkward he managed to be sometimes. “Just go inside, I’ll meet you in my bedroom.”

*

Your bedroom was messier than you remembered. There were boxes scattered from packing for university. You realized Felix hadn’t seen it in a long time. 

Posters of local bands scattered the walls, your mirrors plastered with collections of stickers. Your bed wasn’t made, the sheets sprawled over the edge and tangled from your morning slumber. 

You were the first to lay down, gesturing for Felix to come over from his awkward stance in the doorway. He obliged, crawling on top of you and hoisting his weight up by a single elbow. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked nervously. 

You smiled up at him, noting the way his freckles were yet again concealed by the blush across his cheeks. 

“Yeah, you can kiss me.” 

Felix smiled down at you, leaning in and pressing a gentle, yet firm kiss to your lips. His ebony hair tickled your cheek, which you reached up to move out of his face. 

It was romantic and slow, and his hands traveled to the small of your waist, pulling you closer to his lanky frame. 

He kissed you for a good while, and you could tell that although he hadn’t slept with anyone, he’d certainly had his share of kissing girls. His lips were plump and soft, and his eyelashes fluttered with pleasure every time you sighed against his mouth. 

You’d almost forgotten the agreement by the time he slid a hand under your shirt. “Is this okay?” he asked, his voice a little out of breath. 

You nodded quickly in response, helping guide his hand to the curve of your breasts. Felix’s breath hitched in his throat as he examined your curves with the pads of his fingers. He awkwardly ran his index finger over your nipple, sighing in response when you let out a little gasp. His fingers were smooth, and oddly cold. 

“So soft,” he said in a voice just above a whisper. 

With growing eagerness in your core, you pulled back and slid your shirt over your head, glancing over at Felix who couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off your chest. You chuckled softly at his expression, mouth agape and stars in his eyes at the sight in front of him. He sure knew how to give you an ego boost. 

“Your turn,” you said, snapping him back to reality. 

“Yeah,” he replied, pulling the back of his white shirt over his head and tossing it aside, getting lost in the pile of your clothes already on the floor.

You observed his body too, taking in every new freckle you hadn’t seen before. They were scattered along his clavicles, painting his chest with little beige constellations and stopping just before his toned pecs. Where there was an absence of freckles, his muscles accentuated generously, jutting out as if begging to be explored. 

You nodded, as if to say nice body, and a knowing smile grew on his pink lips. “Come here,” he said, pulling you close again and pressing chaste kisses to your neck and collarbones.

You really liked neck kisses, you learned, as he took his time brushing a tongue over patches of skin before peppering them with kisses and nibbling with feeble hunger.

Your hands reached up to tangle themselves in his silky hair, which he moaned gently in between kisses in response to. With your hands busy, he took the opportunity to slide a hand down, down- all the way down to your jeans. 

Pulling away from your neck, he didn’t hesitate to snap open the button of your jeans and free your pelvis of the zipper. He didn’t even ask for permission, knowing by your reaction that the answer was yes, absolutely yes, please don’t stop. 

Your hands left his hair to help slide your jeans off, and he towered over you to mirror the action. In between innocent giggles, he gathered both articles of clothing in his nimble hands, before making a dramatic show of tossing those on the floor, too.

You were down to just your underwear, a feeling which made you nervous as you became aware of how exposed you were. But Felix didn’t leave a single spot untouched, showering your skin with kisses as your hands found their way to his hair again. 

“Can I try something?” Felix asked, pulling away to gauge your reaction through his fluttering lashes. You nodded, observing as he positioned himself between your legs, and reached a single hand to your underwear. 

It was your turn for your breath to hitch, growing goosebumps as he placed a single finger to your still-clothed wetness. You gasped in response, the feeling not far from when you’d squeeze your thighs together to sex scenes from your favorite movies. 

“I don’t really know how to do this,” he admitted to you shyly. “Tell me if it hurts, yeah?”

You brought your arms around his neck, smiling up at him and glancing down at his hands. 

“Just circle my clit. With your finger. Like- yeah. Just like that,” you were interrupted by his successful attempt at following your instructions. 

He smiled at your reaction, adding a finger and rubbing slow, thoughtful circles around your clit. You gasped at the heat growing in your core, happily accepting when he leaned down to kiss you as he continued. You stayed like that for several minutes, sweat pooling between your thighs as beams of sunlight glared through the window behind you. 

Slowly, he hooked both fingers in your underwear, moving them aside to expose you, and placed fingers on your now fully exposed wetness. You gasped louder in response, humming with pleasure and gripping his toned bicep. 

“Wait,” you said. “Let me just take them off.”

“Okay,” he replied in a gentle tone, pulling away a bit to let you slide your underwear off and over the bed. 

Once bare, his fingers found their way back to your clit, now working little hearts into your skin. “Hearts?” you asked through a smile, kissing him harder and noting the lewd sounds of tongues and sweat and wetness that now filled the room. 

He hummed in response, bucking his hips against your thigh, and you suddenly realized how hard he was for you. His bulge tented nicely in his gray boxers, the tip of his cock already flat against a generous spot of precum. 

“Sorry,” he said, scared the accidental motion would make it look like he was moving too fast. 

You grinned, shaking your head and propping yourself up on your elbows to look at him. “Take them off,” you requested plainly. 

He gulped and nodded, admittedly scared of baring himself in front of you. You were already fully naked, and he’d forgotten the fact that he still had one article of clothing left to lose. 

“You okay?” you asked, growing concerned at his silence. He nodded, responding by pulling his boxers down over his cock, which grew slowly against his abdomen.

He was just as you expected, veins bulging at his hardness, following the shape of his curvature to the wetted pink head.

“You’re so pretty,” you said, eyes fixated on his cock. He was flushed a rosy shade of pink as you stared, aching to explore every inch of him. Felix greeted your compliment with a toothy smile.

With a newfound confidence, he leaned back down to kiss you, his bulge sitting patiently at the entrance of your sex.

“Do you have a condom?” you asked, and he responded with a nod.

“I never got rid of this after health class,” Felix said, as he fished a silver packet out of the pocket of his jeans which hung off the bed. 

“You’re such a nerd,” you replied, and he laughed lightly as he tore open the packet with his teeth.

You helped him slide the rubber down his length, careful not to pinch any part of his sensitive skin. His breathing was heavy, and you could tell he didn't have much time before he gave in. 

“Ready?” Felix asked, as he positioned himself in front of you again. 

“Ready,” you replied, and you both kept your eyes locked down below as he gripped his shaft and slid just the tip in. 

“Oh god,” you remarked, surprised at the sensation even though he was barely in. “Does it hurt?” he panicked, and you shook your head. “Just a little. Do more, if you can.”

At this Felix, pulled out slightly, and then bucked his hips forward so that he was just barely halfway in. 

“Fuck-” you heard, and you looked up to his eyelids shut tight and nose scrunched. His hair hung lazily around his face, sweat pooled at the ebony roots. 

“Are you-” you began to ask if he was okay, when he slid out and let out a deep sigh.

“I finished,” he replied. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think it would feel that good.”

You smiled in response, relaxing your hands by your side and sitting up. 

“Don’t apologize, Felix. It’s just your body.”

You took note of the tears welling in his eyes, and your expression shifted to that of concern. “Felix?”

He wiped with the back of his hand, sitting back on your bed like a scolded child. “I didn’t mean to finish so fast. I wanted it to last. I didn’t come here for sex, I promise. I just thought it would be a good idea and now it’s over and I did so badly.”

He hiccuped through tears, and you sat up to wipe them from his eyes. “You didn’t do badly, Felix. You did amazing. That was an amazing first time. Don’t apologize for a natural reaction. We’re not pros at this.”

He nodded slowly, sniffling and looking around for his shirt. “Well I guess I’ll go,” he said rather dryly. 

You knew he was going to beat himself up for this, and you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

“Felix, don’t go,” you said. “I’m not letting you leave like this.”

“I already ruined things,” he responded. 

“You didn’t ruin anything,” you said. “Plus, we always have next time?”

You surprised yourself with your own remark, blushing as he locked his eyes on yours again.

“Next time?” he questioned, his voice still frail and quiet.

You nodded. “I mean… if you want to? As friends, of course. I liked it,” you shrugged. 

The last of his tears trickled down his cheeks as a small smile grew back on his face, illuminating the room with comfort once again. 

“Yeah,” he said. “I’d like to do it again.”

You nodded, mirroring his smile. “Then we can do it again. It’s not a big deal, right?” 

He shook his head, wiping tears with the back of his hand. “Just… practice I guess? That’s all it is.”

You nodded. “Just practice. Exactly.”

With bleary eyes, Felix rid himself of the condom and clothed himself again, pulling his shirt over his head and buttoning his jeans back how they were. You laid on your side, still nude in your bed, one hand tucked under your cheek, still entranced by the way the sun kissed Felix’s freckles in the June air. You hummed softly as the birds chirped outside, the sounds starkly contrasting the filthy moans emitting from your room just moments earlier. 

“I’ll see you later?” he said, turning to you, his eyes flickering curiously to your chest and and between your thighs again. You tugged the sheets up to your chin, keeping your gaze on him for a minute.

“Busy later, remember?”

He nodded once. “Right. Are your parents home tonight? Or… what are you doing tomorrow?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his helpless words. “Gosh Felix, you’re needy already. I’ll call you okay? I’m not gonna leave you hanging.”

He smiled in response, cocking his head to one side and taking one last look at you. 

He’d never seen you like this, more skin showing than ever before. The way your mascara pooled around your eyes from shutting your eyes in pleasure. The way the last of the sun rays set little orange patches aglow on your olive skin, highlighting your clavicles like an oil painting. The way your smile said so much yet so little at the same time, as if to tell him you’ll be right here the next time. And the next, and the next- and hopefully several times after that. 

He wanted nothing more than to touch himself and stay in for round two, but he was dying to go home and shower the lingering embarrassment off his body. With nothing else to say, he raised two fingers and gave a little salute, trying to send you off in the most casual manner he could, fearing you might change your mind about there being a next time. 

“Catch ya later,” he said a bit awkwardly, and turned on his heel to stride out of your bedroom. 

You said nothing in response, shutting your eyes and letting the evening drowsiness overtake you. 

*

“You should hear when you’re not around, when it’s just us horny poets”

It didn’t take long before you and Felix were fucking like rabbits for the remainder of summer. 

Handjobs on your porch when it was too early in the morning to be caught. Blowjobs in the backseat of his car, Felix strategically parking on little off roads where no one could interrupt, while his hands pulled mercilessly at your hair. Kisses all over your neck during movie nights, where you’d fold almost immediately and wind up under him for the remainder of- what was that film again? You’re not sure. You were sure of his nimble fingers, and the way his lips could work up just about anything out of you. 

You’re sure he’d been studying pornography, the way his lips pressed little butterfly kisses all over your aching pussy, coming up to suckle your clit and spread your juices all over your thighs with more hungry kisses and nibbles. 

Felix even felt comfortable enough to present you some of the videos he got off to, shyly angling his phone at you mid-makeout session, inquiring about your interest in sucking off his fingers. You challenged him, making him suck your fingers instead, while you edged him over his sweatpants. Note: he really liked that move. 

The two of you were different tunes working in perfect harmony, your erotic ideas playing off of each other, resulting in some of your most intense memories together.

Not every idea worked out as you’d planned, but the time was never wasted. Nights where you couldn’t finish from penetration alone, he’d spend hours working you up with an old massager, his deep voice whispering sweet nothings into your ear while he fondled your breasts.

His words were so carefully picked, diligently selected from your favorite erotic fiction works you’d send him. “You like that? Is your pussy aching for me? Always so wet when I touch you. Could do this for hours…could hear you moan for hours.”

His breath tickled your neck, the sound of his own labored breathing growing louder and then quieter again as he’d brush his lips over your ear and fill your mind with little moans and filthy thoughts. 

And the nights would always end safely. He’d bring his signature baked goods, massaging you in his lap as he fed you little bites of brownies and cookies and pies. 

His words never stopped at sex, showering you with compliments and sweet nothings even if not to arouse you. “You did so well today. Thanks for letting me try that. I’m sorry if it hurts. Let’s try something more gentle tomorrow, yeah?”

And the weeks you couldn’t have sex, Felix never seemed to mind all too much. Sometimes he’d let you watch him pleasure himself, sometimes he’d brush off the idea all together. The stories you shared, and the laughs you got out of each other, were reason enough to spend just about every passing second together.

2:15am. 

Felix pulled out, rolling over on his back again, letting out an exasperated sigh and shutting his eyes. 

“Fuck. That was good. Are you okay?”

He forced an eyelid open, glancing over at your still lying body, too tired to speak but nodding through labored breaths. 

“Yeah,” you managed a minute later.

The two of you remained like that for a few minutes, basking in the silence of the atmosphere around you. The world was quiet without the loud moans and cuss words that erupted when you were normally together.

And then came the sniffles. 

When you began fucking, you quickly understood that you were learning things about Felix that maybe nobody knew before you. Not even Felix himself. Like how he scrunched his nose right before he finished, his open mouth following shortly after. The way he apologized after he let out an accidental slut or whore in the bedroom. They helped him get off on occasion, but he detested the thought of you internalizing the words. Or maybe the way his hands cramped quickly when he fingered you- he wasn’t used to using his hands as much as his legs or upper body. Soccer player problems. 

But the most interesting thing you’d come to discover about Felix was his tendency to cry after sex. 

Mornings, afternoons in his car, quickies in your room, it didn’t matter. 90 percent of the time, he’d cry after finishing, his whole face contorting into that of a guilty boy’s, eyes reddening as they welled with tears and found their home on the sleeves of his sweaters or corners of your sheets. 

The second time it happened, you grew concerned for him, thinking it was something you’d done. You tried to break things off, saying “maybe this isn’t a good idea” and “I don’t want to do this if you’re not emotionally ready for it.”

But that only made him cry harder. Wrapping you in his arms and letting out gentle sobs in your knees. Begging you not to go, that he’d work on himself instead. 

It never stopped, and although Felix tried to vocalize it, you always felt sorry for him.

“Sorry,” he’d explain through sobs. “Just felt so good.”

You never invalidated his feelings, always simply nodding at his words and holding him for as long as he needed to be held. 

The truth is, Felix felt emotions so deeply, deeper than even he himself was capable of handling. The orgasms were an emotional high for him every time, pure bliss exiting his body and filling yours, you returning the favor with your praises for him.

When he came down from his high, it snapped him back to reality to remember that this was all temporary. That he’d be gone soon, that you’d be fucking somebody else in this bed within the next few weeks. That he didn’t buy you flowers, nor did he properly introduce himself to your parents, although you weren’t dating. That you’d be so generous to try just about anything with him, going at it for hours to determine what the two of you liked and didn’t like. That you sacrificed your body for his pleasure on nights you weren’t as horny as he was, and that you never made a fuss when he made a mess of you and your sheets. 

That you held him after sex every time, massaging his hair with a gentle caress, telling him about how “amazing he did”  and that he was “so, so good to you.”

And through tear-stained eyes, he’d do the same for you, thanking you until sleep overtook you both. 

Tonight was no different. 

“Hey, hey,” you said to him soothingly. “Come here.”

He sat up, face in his hands for a moment as he let out quiet sobs and shook his head. “It’s no use. I can’t st-stop c-crying…” choked sobs trailed his voice away from you. 

“Felix, you did so well. You always do. Are you overwhelmed? Talk to me,” you said, sitting up to embrace him.

He turned to hug you back, tears falling on your bare shoulder as you shushed him and pressed little kisses to his forehead.

“I’m… I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” You’d heard it a million times from him, but he always felt the need to justify himself to you. 

“Don’t apologize,” you told him. “Don’t apologize for your body. Do you want to grab something to eat? I know it’s late, but McDonald’s is still open.”

He wiped his tears away for the second time today, nodding as you reached over and handed him his sweatshirt. 

When his tears came to a halt, he smiled at you and leaned in to press a chaste kiss to your temple. “Thanks,” he said quietly. “I know it’s the least sexy thing you can do after an orgasm.”

You smiled back at him, standing up to gather your clothes from where they’d fallen. “Hey, I don’t care if you want to do your taxes after sex. I had fun, you had fun. That’s all that matters.”

Felix always admired your ability to downplay everything. No reaction of his was too much when he was around you. He felt normal, comfortable. Safe. 

“Just gonna grab a new pair of underwear,” you said to him. “I’ll meet you back at the car.”

Felix nodded, scrambling out of the tangled sheets of your bed and grabbing his car keys. 

As he exited your room, you took careful note of your disheveled appearance in the mirror. Bruises, messy hair, puffy lips. Tear-stained shoulders. 

*

“Okay,” you began. “If you had to pick what you’d want your dorm mates to be like, what would  you say?”

You popped a french fry in your mouth, watching as Felix thought over the question. 

“I’d say…” his Australian accent was thick as he pondered for a moment. “I dunno, maybe outgoing? I guess I’m not the most extroverted so I need some balance.”

You laughed. “Be careful what you wish for. Sometimes outgoing can be a veiled statement for annoying.”

He scrunched his nose at you. “Oh god. More annoying than me? I don’t even know if that’s possible.”

You slapped his arm playfully. “You’re right, I think you already beat them in that department.”

He remarked a sarcastic haha at you, taking a sip of his McFlurry before crossing his legs onto his seat.

“What about you- what do you hope the people at university are like?”

You swallowed, giving a small shrug. “I hope they make me feel comfortable.”

His eyes remained on you for a second, and you continued your response. “I just want to experience everything. I want to go bar-crawling with my friends at 2am. I want to go to parties, and study at the library for finals with a group of people who make it all worth it. I just want that typical experience.”

He nodded, his throat suddenly feeling dry. 

He was reminded again that he wasn’t going to be a part of your university experience. You were going to meet new people, make new friends. Fuck new guys. And he wouldn’t be around to be part of any of it. 

“You know,” Felix began. “I’m rooting for you. Even though I won’t be here to see how it all plays out.”

You pulled your lips into a thin smile, nodding. “I know you are. I don’t doubt that.”

“And,” you continued. “I’m rooting for you. I’ll be tuned in to all the programs they put you on. I’ll shoot you little messages about your silly stage outfits here and there. The whole kpop fan image? That’s going to be me, like, times a million. Maybe I’ll drag around your album everywhere I go.”

He laughed at the idea, tossing his head back. “Hey, don’t speak too soon. If things fall through I’ll be back in less than a month. I don’t even speak Korean. Got a lot of learning to do.”

You waved him off. “You’ll catch on. I know you will.”

He held your gaze for a moment, smiling again before leaning in to kiss you. His lips tasted like oreos, and yours lingered of salty fries.

“2 weeks,” he said when he pulled away. “I can’t believe how fast this summer went by.”

You agreed with a slight tilt of your head.

He glanced out the window briefly. The cicadas had gotten quieter now that August drew to a close. You were at the usual spot you hooked up at, parked in his car across a vista point just off the highway. The view overlooked a canyon of trees, which looked like something out of a horror movie at this hour of the night.

He looked back at you and nodded in the direction of the backseat, a gesture you knew very well. You climbed over the center console, already pulling off your sweatpants and adjusting yourself so your legs were propped open. 

Felix followed after you, slipping off his jeans and pulling you onto his lap. 

Hasty kisses met your lips and neck as he gripped your waist and massaged little circles into the dimples that met your lower back. He let little moans meet your mouth as you palmed his already-hard cock through his boxers, rocking back and forth on his thigh to stimulate yourself first. 

One hand reached up and snaked two fingers into your mouth. “Suck,” he instructed.

You wrapped desperate fingers around his wrist, pressing little kisses to the pads of his fingers before slipping them in and out of your drooly mouth. He didn’t break eye contact as you hollowed your cheeks and stared at him through long lashes, moving slowly and savoring the taste of his soft skin. 

“Good,” he said, and you released him with a gentle pop, a string of saliva connecting him to you still.

He licked a stripe along his fingers too, sharing the flavor of your needy spit, before reaching down and moving your underwear aside. 

You gasped as a finger pressed hastily to your clit, rubbing little hearts as he usually did, which he knew drove you wild. He rubbed back and forth, grazing down your slit and back up again, before finding his way to your entrance.

Felix gently inserted a first, and then a second finger, inside your soaking cunt, using his thumb to graze your clit and make you emit breathy moans from the sensation. 

“Fuck,” you breathed, watching him tilt his head to one side. 

“That feel good? Hmm?” He cooed with a smile, already knowing the answer by your pleasured response.

You nodded, eyebrows arched up in pleasure as he moved faster. Felix nodded with you as you gripped his wrist, digging nail marks into his veiny forearm. 

“Felix, would you fuck me?” you asked him politely, your breathing speeding up. 

“Hmm? I am fucking you, sweetheart.” The pet names, god, the pet names. He knew exactly what they did to you. 

“Want your cock in me,” you specified, gripping his wrist again to slow his pace. He hummed in response, moving a strand of hair out of your face and pressing little kisses to your exposed neck. 

Feeling he’d teased you enough, Felix pulled his boxers down and tossed them aside, gasping as you jerked him twice and thumbed at his tip. 

“Fuck, stop,” he begged you. “I don’t want to finish yet.”

You, nodded removing your panties with ease and waiting patiently as he slid a condom efficiently over his length and positioned himself. Before you could lay back and spread, he gripped your waist again, lifting you onto his lap and rubbing against your soaking slit. 

“Wanna fuck up into you,” he said. “Wrap your arms around me.”

You did as told, grabbing hold of his warm gray hoodie and taking a deep breath as he lowered you on to him. 

Felix let out a hearty moan, soaking in how good it felt. You’d ridden him once before, but this was something else. Needy hands grabbed at each other, making desperate attempts to grope your flesh and bring you closer to him. His hands rested on your lower back and syncopated with your breathing as he lifted you down on to him and bucked his hips up into you. 

You felt every inch of his cock twitching inside of you, about to fill you up before you caressed his jaw and pleaded. “Don’t move,” you instructed. “I just want to feel you for a second.”

Felix did as told, slowing his thrusts down and reciprocating as you leaned down for a sloppy kiss. His cock pulsated against your already throbbing clit, sending shivers down your spine as you kissed him again, and again. Making him feel every ounce of your want for him and only him.

His mouth was wet with drool, giant sultry eyes so full of want and need for your body. When you pulled away, you took in his face for a second. Although it was dark, you could still make out the flush of his cheeks around his freckles. Dark strands of hair hung loosely around his jaw, and the musk of his cologne filled the air as he sweated profusely in the steamy car. 

“Okay,” you said finally. “Cum in me. Please.”

The words were all it took before Felix thrust up into you again, his nose scrunching and mouth agape as he shot thick, white strands of his pleasure into the rubber. 

You let out a breathy sigh as he slid out of you, tying up the condom and tossing it aside.

But you didn’t move from off of him, instead holding him and pressing little kisses to his forehead. Like clockwork, the tears began to flow. You kissed them back up his cheeks, letting the salty taste melt on your already salted tongue.

“It’s okay,” you assured, and he sniffled with innocent puppy-dog eyes that looked up at you. You wrapped a hand around his hair, pulling him closer and ruffling his locks with empathy. “You okay? That was really good.”

He nodded, wiping his tears with sleeves that enveloped his hands like little paws. “Felt really good,” he said, letting out another choked sob. 

“I know,” you replied. “I know it’s a lot. I’ve got you.”

It was usually at this point that Felix’s crying began to lessen, but he started crying even harder at your consolation.

“Felix?” you asked, getting worried with his growing sadness. He nuzzled his face into your neck, letting tears fall to your neck and wet your hoodie. 

“Don’t forget me,” he said suddenly, and you were taken aback by his pleading tone.

You pushed him away, tilting his chin up to meet yours again.

“Felix,” you said. “Nothing could ever make me forget you. You’re my best friend. We’ll see each other again.”

He nodded, but a smile was still absent from his expression. 

You pulled him in for another hug, rubbing circles into his hoodie and shushing him gently. 

“My star,” you cooed tenderly. “Could never forget you.”

Your hands grazed the back of his neck as he held you too, feeling small and vulnerable, but safe. Always safe. 

*

“You may not like it, but you better learn how, ‘cause it’s your turn now”

Felix left on a Thursday.

It was a dark September morning, the day too early to reveal what the weather would bring. He wore a hoodie and his favorite sweatpants, looking especially boyish with a bulky pair of headphones around his neck, his sleek black hair pushed back with a headband. One of yours- one he’d found in the backseat of his car. 

He packed the remainder of his bags, glancing over at your street in the chill of the September air as his mom loaded the car with his belongings. 

I’ll see her soon, he assured himself. After all, you had promised you wouldn’t forget him. 

The day prior was spent with his family, enjoying one last home-cooked meal with his mom and sisters. They exchanged a few gifts they’d generously picked for him, knowing they’d miss his 19th birthday, just 2 weeks out from his departure date.

Felix cried at the gesture, the idea of a birthday spent alone suddenly filling him with dread. 

And after double counting his bags, his family was off to sleep. “Don’t use your phone,” his mother had remarked several times. “We need to be at the airport very early tomorrow.”

And when he was sure she was asleep, little snores confirming his theory, Felix climbed out of his window and disappeared into the dimly lit streets, mentally apologizing to his mom for disobeying every one of her orders.

The air was more unforgiving than when he’d escaped in the summer months, painting little goosebumps on his bare arms and showing his breath back to him when he exhaled. 

Still, he ran. He ran and ran, and he didn’t waste a second booking it to your place.

Your window was left ajar as it usually was, you sitting up in bed with a book. When the crunch of leaves drew your attention to the paned glass, you knew exactly who it was. 

Felix usually did his best to lead into your sessions as a gentleman would, inquiring about your day and sharing little bits of his. But his heartbeat quickened with every passing second, knowing this was it. This was the last time he’d have you for who knew how long, and his body ached for yours already.

You wasted no time helping him climb inside, already attaching your lips to his, as he guided you back into your bed. 

He pulled his t-shirt over his head, slipping off your nightgown too, pressing hungry kisses to your thighs and moaning against your soft skin. 

He wanted to say something, he wanted so badly to tell you how sorry he was for brushing past your day, that he did in fact care, but that he needed all of you first. He wanted to apologize for all the times he ignored you in the hallways back at school, mentally punishing himself for not being a more prominent part of your teenage years sooner. He wanted to tell you that Oreo McFlurries all tasted like you now, and they always would. For as long as he remembered you.

Your hands in his hair brought him back to the moment, and he wasted no time attaching his drooly tongue to your clit, moving back and forth like a starving animal eating for the first time in days. 

His licks turned into saliva-filled kisses, wrapping his lips around your clit and making loud sucking noises as he pulled back and left no inch of your folds untasted. Between his licking and ravenous kisses, you felt your body tense as you reached your high. It must’ve been a new record, you thought to yourself, as your legs trembled and you leaked cum all over his pretty face. 

Your orgasm was intoxicating, but your need for him kept you aching, and you knew you had a lot more left in you still.

Felix’s mouth met yours again, letting you taste yourself on his wet lips. He smiled in between kisses, trailing kisses down to your breasts and suckling each nipple with soft hums. 

“Gonna make you feel so good tonight,” he said for the first time tonight, in between breathless kisses. “Just lay back. You don’t have to lift a finger.”

You shivered at his words, an agreement you normally didn’t do when you linked. You always returned the favor in one way or another, but tonight, he wanted to prove himself to you. 

As he pressed kisses down your torso, he complimented you between gasps for air, making you giggle as you looked down at him. “So… beautiful…” he’d say. “So soft… love how you’re always ready for me…”

His mouth found his way to your clit again, and you didn’t care that you were already overstimulated from your first orgasm. He kissed you all over, paying careful attention to your swollen clit, moaning as you stifled screams and gasps. 

Felix tasted you for what felt like hours. You’d finished all over him a total of three times already, and well into the fourth, you pulled him up by his hair. “Need you,” you said, your insides aching to clench around him just once. 

He didn’t waste any time demanding you specify your words, knowing exactly what you wanted from him. His boxers were stained with dark gray spots of wetness, and you realized he must’ve been aching for you too. The thought of his straining bulge made you even wetter for him, if that was even possible.

Hoisting your legs up around his waist, Felix wrapped himself up and thrusted into you with more force than you’d felt from him before. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes, your nails scratching red marks all over his forearms.

“Does it hurt?” he asked, pausing for a moment. You shook your head no, moving a strand of hair out of his face. 

With that, he thrust into you again, and again, loud moans and whimpers escaping his lips like you’d never heard before. As he watched your fucked-out expression, he snaked a hand around your throat, lining your eyesight up with his. 

“Look at me,” he demanded. You kept your gaze on him, pondering how this was the same person who so delicately kissed you and held your hand when you weren’t underneath him like this. 

“You gonna miss me?” he asked between rhythmic thrusts. You nodded. 

“You gonna think of me when you touch yourself?” he asked, and your heartbeat quickened at his tone. 

“Yes,” you replied, barely above a whisper.

“You gonna tell me when you’re all wet and needy for me? You gonna touch yourself and think of how I fucked you?”

Your heartbeat kept quickening, his words both dizzying and unexpected.

“Felix…” you said, but your voice trailed off as he quickened his pace again.

“Say it again,” he ordered.

“Felix.”

“Louder. Want the neighbors to hear how good I fuck you.”

“Felix!” You said louder as he moved even faster, your nails clawing into his back as your own voice filled your ears. 

When you opened your eyes, his nose was scrunched in pleasure, followed by his plump lips parted, which chased his high. He moaned for what seemed like several minutes, thrusting himself empty, and slowing inside of you, making sure you were completely overstimulated before pulling out. 

You sat up quickly, knowing he was going to cry himself silly tonight. As you pressed your hands to his cheeks, already rubbing your thumbs at his lashes, he nuzzled into you and pulled you closer. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice shaky with overwhelming sadness already. 

But this time, you felt yourself start to cry, too. Your eyes welled with tears at the sight of him, holding you like a small child clutches a teddy bear, crying into your knees and letting little sobs escape his parted lips. When he heard your sniffles, he looked up at you, pouting through tears at the sight. It was his turn to pull you close, placing a gentle hand to the back of your head and holding you close to his chest, afraid he might break you if he didn’t maintain his fragile embrace.

He didn’t ask why you cried. He just stayed like that, holding you close to him, listening to your quiet sobs like music and grazing his hands over the skin he’d previously bruised and made a mess of. 

3:56am.

Felix hadn’t meant to lose track of time this badly, and you knew he was supposed to leave for the airport in just an hour. 

“Felix,” you said to him. “I didn’t mean to keep you up this late…”

He shook his head firmly, wiping his cheeks with the corner of your sheets. 

“I can sleep on the plane,” he responded. His eyes were puffy and red, and you thumbed over his eyelids in attempts to soothe the irritated skin.

You pulled away, sliding out of your bed and pulling on your nightgown. “Have a little surprise for you,” you said, hoping to get at least a smile out of him before he left tonight. 

It worked, his lips pulled into a curious grin as he slipped a shirt on himself, too.

“What is it?,” Felix remarked. 

You didn’t respond, instead digging through your drawers and pulling out a small tube. 

You tossed it over to him, his skilled fingers catching it quickly and observing it under the moonlight peering through the window.

“Your chapstick!” he said with a smile. “Raspberry.”

You smiled back at him and shrugged.  “Little taste of home.”

He twisted the tube between his slender fingers for a bit, uncapping it and bringing it up to his swollen lips. 

You watched as he glided the cherry color across his smile, running over the tint with his tongue and smacking his lips together lightly. 

“Tastes like you,” he remarked. 

You shrugged again with a smile. “We match now.”

You urged Felix to go home and get at least an hour of sleep, but he refused defiantly, asking to be held in your blankets until he had to leave. 

So you did. And for the last time he was able to, Felix asked about your day. He kept his eyes on you the whole time, careful not to blink excessively in case he missed the way your face lit up at the mention of your future college life. He took note of the way your chest rose and fell with slow breaths, clearly tired but not enough to leave his side. 

You told him all about what you still had to pack before leaving for university. About the book you started this morning, the second one in a trilogy. You recounted your favorite songs, suggesting a few to him, which he added to a playlist for his flight. 

The two of you reminisced the summer days, which had slipped by you in the blink of an eye, taking all your carefree thoughts with them. You voiced your favorite moments in his car- both sexual escapades and late-night McDonald’s runs, and he shared his own discoveries and favorite moments back to you. 

He said he hoped your next lover would appreciate the smell of your raspberry lips as much as he did. And you silently wished he’d find someone who held him after intense sessions the way you learned he needed.

But before you knew it, the clock read 4:48am. 

You knew Felix’s mom would be waking him any moment now, and he needed to be back in his own bed fast. 

“Go,” you said, as he propped himself up and scanned over your alarm clock once again. “You’ll get in trouble.”

You followed as he slid out from your warm comforter, fixing up his hair and towering over you. 

With a straight, yet heavy expression, he looked down and tilted your chin up with one finger, placing a gentle kiss to your lips and pulling away after a few seconds.

“It was fun,” you said, and he smiled in response, though saying nothing back. 

You followed him back to the window, where he hoisted himself over the ledge and back into the cool September air.

Turning on his heel, Felix brought two fingers up to his forehead, giving you a little salute and a smile. 

“Catch ya later,” he said, and disappeared again into the morning fog. 

You hoped so. You really, really hoped so. 

*

“I’m starting to suspect you don’t intend to do anything you say at all.”

The months that followed were tainted heavily by Felix’s absence. The lulling clouds and light drizzles that spanned far into November reminded you that the seasons did in fact change, whether you wanted them to or not. 

Your college dorm was small and cramped, and the smooth white walls felt like that of a prison most days. But your roommate was nice, and the two of you hit it off fast. Late nights were spent snacking in the dining hall, where the two of you would gossip about the boys you shared classes with, making lewd remarks that remained a fun game between the two of you. 

You spent most of your days in the library, a favorite spot of yours on the 8th floor that overlooked the busy streets and provided ample content to people-watch. 

And you never heard from Felix. 

You didn’t reach out, knowing he was busier than ever, his phone usage probably monitored heavily by the executives there. And such was life- the summer interactions like the games you now played with your new college roommate; between the two of you, and not meant to be an object of permanence by any means. 

But some days, you took it harder than others. 

Some days you were angry with yourself for sacrificing so much, barely recognizing the curves and birthmarks that painted your nude frame, upset that anyone had ever touched them. 

Other days, you stifled toothy smiles in the palms of your hands, when you remembered the activities both of you got up to that summer. Some of the most incredulous, dirty-minded positions came flooding back to your memory, and no one around you would ever suspect such a pristine girl to have tried the things she did. 

You did touch yourself to the memories of them, hoping your roommate wouldn’t hear the little gasps you let out with your hands between your thighs at such an ungodly hour. But as time passed on, the memories were less vivid, melting colors and tastes into obscurity, until you couldn’t get off to them anymore. 

And then one day in your second year, Mark entered your life.

*

At first, you were convinced there had to be a catch, when he approached you in the library to borrow a pencil, slipping his phone number to you in exchange. 

His dusty blue hair and stylish outfit had caught your eye in passing once, but you’d never considered the possibility of him noticing you. 

Yet that he did, sealing his action with a closed-mouth smile, gesturing to your phone and miming a texting gesture at you. “Yo, like, you should text me or something. I always see you around here.”

You couldn’t help but laugh lightly, fascinated with the casual way he talked. 

“I don’t even know your name,” you remarked jokingly. 

“Oh my bad,” he said, reaching a hand out to you. “I’m Mark. My friends usually call me Mark.”

You laughed again, meeting his hand halfway with yours and shaking once. “Y/n.”

“Dang, that’s a cool name,” he said. “It totally suits you.”

You cocked your head slightly, his words igniting a spark in you. “I’d hope so,” you replied. “Had it for 20 years.”

“Oh cool, you’re like a year younger than me,” he replied. “Second year?” 

You nodded, taking in his features for a second. His warm smile and doe eyes were inviting, yet the way his chiseled jawline framed strands of sapphire hair was hot. 

You stayed quiet for a second, before he broke the silence. “Listen, I gotta head to my evening class. But would you wanna like, grab a coffee or something? Or like, maybe get dinner? It’s a 3-hour lecture so I’ll be out kinda late but I’m probably gonna grab some takeout-”

His rambling was endearing. You cut him off with an eager nod, swinging your bag over your shoulder. “I’ll like, totally text you. Yo.” you said. 

With an amused smile, you looked back once as you made your way to the elevator and disappeared between the twin doors. He kept his gaze on you from across the room, sticking his hands into the pockets of his baggy jeans and smiling back.

The amusing encounter was the start of a whole new chapter for you.

*

“How quickly they turn sour, so be careful who you screw.”

College came and went quicker than you imagined it would. What took years of mental preparation seemed to fly by, the end of every semester always catching you by surprise. 

You and Mark stuck together through the end of your college career. While he graduated a year earlier than you, he still visited every week of your last year, bringing you iced coffee and showering you with kisses as you studied in your same spot at the library. His friends also took a liking to you, and you were happier than you’d ever been before when you were around him. 

Mark graduated with a degree in biology, getting a prestigious post-college internship at a research institution almost immediately after graduating. You completed your courses in business, excelling in all of them, grateful you had so many friends and a loving boyfriend for a support system. 

And then you graduated, walking the stage in a dark blue dress (per Mark’s request), basking in the cheers of Mark and his friends, who made obnoxious neon signs and bought you the biggest gift basket you’d ever seen. 

You began your work at a small ad agency, spending hours producing digital ads and writing pieces, coming home to your little shared apartment with Mark. It was a dingy box on the South Side, but with a little decorating, the two of you fell in love with the way it brought you closer together. 

You enjoyed the months you couldn’t afford a mattress yet, keeping each other warm on the carpeted floor and using spare jackets as blankets. You bargained for furniture at secondhand shops, scoring the jackpot when you picked up the velvet couch of your dreams, one which you’d quickly come to spend most of your time on. The little kitchen table that only seated two, which proved a problem when you had friends over. But one that the two of you enjoyed home-cooked meals and greasy takeout on together, every night that you possibly could. 

Mark was gentle with you. He was funny, outgoing, and smarter than anyone you’d ever known. You wondered sometimes what you did to deserve him. The two of you grew up together, much like you and Felix once did. 

After graduation, Mark dyed his hair black for the first time in years, which you simply couldn’t get enough of. You lost weight after college, transitioning your closet from comfortable hoodies and sweatpants to dresses and blouses. The two of you coordinated outfits on errand days, which his friends never ceased teasing you for. 

And you were happy. Truly and honestly happy.

One rainy Wednesday night, Mark took you out, deeming it a celebratory event following your raise at work. 

“Here’s to… money,” Mark said with a smile, bringing his glass up to yours with a little clink.

You weren’t hard to please, requesting the celebratory meal be at your favorite ramen shop a couple blocks away. Mark insisted on something fancier, but let you pick your first choice in the end. He never pressured you, one of the many things you loved about him. 

In between slurping noodles and telling tales of work, you were interrupted by music playing on the television high on the wall, drowning out Mark’s story with loud rap. 

“Jeez,” you remarked. “Can’t they lower that? That’s so annoying.”

Mark adjusted his body toward the tv, bobbing his head at the thumping beat. “I dunno, I kinda like it.”

You scoffed. “This garbage? You’re crazy.”

He kept his eyes glued to the tv, eyebrows furrowed in a teasing manner as he continued to bob his head along and ad-lib the loud singing.

“Maniac... Maniac,” he hummed along, laughing at the screen and craning his head to keep watching. 

You watched too, eyes glued to the colorful outfits and coordinated dancing. Your eyes scanned over the lyrics on the screen, realizing at this point that the song wasn’t in English. 

if you think I’m just pure and innocent, you’re wrong, 

when a favor continues, people think it’s their right, toxic, 

this is what drives me crazy, warning

As a deep voice filled the room, your eyes remained glued to the figure in a green coat and purple beanie, heart stopping briefly in your chest while your mind raced a million miles per minute. 

The familiarity of every feature grazed your conscience with a rude awakening. 

You watched as the screen panned to someone with red hair, and another with purple hair. It was a few seconds before you spotted him again, a longer shot of him looking up at impressive skyscrapers. But it confirmed your theory. 

It was Felix. 

Mark’s singing began to annoy you now, the whole restaurant flooding with the same catchy chorus, most eaters now also craning their necks to watch the colorful group dance in sync. 

“Could you stop?” you said suddenly, and Mark turned to you with a confused expression. 

“Stop what?” he asked, questioning your sudden change of tone. 

You didn’t answer, prodding at the noodles left in your bowl with chopsticks. The song overhead finished, transitioning to a slower song sung by a Korean woman this time.

“Y/n?” Mark asked again, waving a hand in front of you as your brows furrowed relentlessly at the dinner in front of you. 

“Nothing,” you replied. “I was talking to my chopsticks. Sorry.”

Mark nodded, glancing back up at the screen and evidently thinking nothing of it. “She’s good,” he said. “Do you think she’s actually playing the piano?”

You didn’t answer, your brain and heart still racing with emotions that made you want to scream from atop a skyscraper. Any appetite you previously had for celebration dissipated quickly. 

*

Their group wasn’t bad. Not by any means. 

You did your research carefully, strategically logging out of your shared Youtube account with Mark to binge their music videos and interviews. 

Felix seemed to have gone through a million different hair colors already. Black, green, silver, red, pink, even a long blonde wig which you liked more than you cared to admit. 

You watched his interviews, picking him out from the group of 8 every time, keeping your focus on his mannerisms and crafted responses to superficial questions. 

You quickly came to realize not much had changed about him. They dubbed him brownie boy- a name which you chuckled at in a melancholy tone, remembering the taste of them all too well. He loved dancing. He smiled after almost everything he said. His freckles were still his most prominent feature. 

He even spoke of his hometown, telling an interviewer how much he’d hoped to visit again someday. Something you scoffed at, knowing all too well he must be too caught up in the glitz and glamor to give two shits about all of this. 

It became an addiction for a few weeks, picking apart anything he said and interpreting where he’d been, what he’d seen out there. Who he might have fucked after you. 

But the clips pointed you nowhere, filling your mind with useless knowledge about his various taekwondo medals and first impressions of his members. 

And just like it entered, your new fixation exited your routine suddenly. 

You tossed your phone on your bed one night, letting out an exasperated sigh after closing three tabs of useless articles and finding nothing in them. 

“You good?” Mark asked. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration. “Just stressed.”

He turned to face you, placing his phone down by his pillow as well.

“Is it that new thing at work?”

You rested your cheek on your hand, turning to face him too, noting the genuine look of care in his widened eyes. 

“Yeah,” you replied. “Something like that.”

He held his gaze on yours for a minute, his eyes stretching into a smile as he let out a little laugh. 

“Well you know I’m always here for you. Do you want to, like, talk about it or something?”

You smiled back at him, shaking your head in response. 

There was no feasible explanation as to why you were bothered by the whole thing. The whole affair was nearly 5 years old now- you were a completely different person at that time. Maybe it was the idea of giving your body to someone who was so unchanged by it, he’d moved on to a whole new life without so much as a phone call. You loved Mark. You wouldn’t trade the relationship between you two for anything- or rather, anyone. But the pent up anger from being a side piece to someone who only pretended to care about you to get in your pants was hard to ignore. 

“Y/n?” Mark interrupted, and your gaze snapped back to his, humming in question.

“I asked if you were in the mood tonight.” He repeated shyly.

“Oh, uh. Yeah! Sure.” You tried to slide your shorts off awkwardly, the knot on your waistband getting stuck as you rushed to fulfill his ask. 

“Stupid pants,” you said, fumbling clumsily with them and quickly getting angry.

He raised an eyebrow. “It’s okay, we don’t have to do anything tonight. I’m kinda beat anyway.”

You fiddled with the knot some more, keeping your gaze away from his now, hoping he wouldn’t notice any change in your demeanor. 

“No no, it’s cool,” you replied dryly. “Seriously, I want to.”

Mark reached over, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead and retying the string on your pajama shorts. 

“I’m not doing anything when you’re all distracted. It’s not right. Go to sleep. Tomorrow we’ll go somewhere for breakfast, yeah?”

With one hand gently grazing over your stomach, he reached over your small frame, turning out the lamp and pulling you closer as darkness washed over the room. A small sliver of moonlight through the window shone over your face, and you hoped Mark wouldn’t notice the single tear running down your cheek. 

*

“Do the wires in your mind get sewn together, rubbed and severed by the heat?”

The whole thing was stupid. You knew that, and you couldn’t keep doing this to Mark. 

He’d been there for you since the start of your life without Felix, and you never had to doubt the love he had for you. Mark was a permanent fixture in your otherwise monotonous life and the only interesting thing about it, at that. 

Maybe this was the universe’s way of reminding you to be grateful for what was here.

And that you were. You made it up to Mark several times since that week, surprising him with new lingerie sets when you could, and cooking a week’s worth of his favorite meals. 

“It’s not even my birthday…” he’d always remark through hungry kisses, barely having time to set aside his briefcase before you dropped to your knees and finished him off right there in the hallway. 

And things seemed to go back to normal. 

Or at least you thought. 

The business campaign you were working on was stressful- that, you hadn’t lied to Mark about. 

Late nights turned into early mornings in front of your laptop, typing away at spreadsheets and pulling together presentation decks for your boss.  

Mark typically knew when to leave you alone, only interrupting to bring you hot coffee and little snacks late into the night, until he’d fall asleep in the bedroom and wait for you to join. Sometimes, your work consumed your ability to sleep. 

Tonight, after dinner, Mark tended to his usual routine of brewing you a cup of coffee, knowing it was going to be another late night for you. 

Just a few more days of this, you promised him.

He wasn’t mad at your dedication to your work, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss cuddling in bed together. 

“Shit,” you heard him say loudly. “We’re out of creamer.”

You glanced up over your laptop. 

“Darn. I’ll just have it plain.”

He bent down to the first level of the fridge, peering around like a bottle might suddenly appear. 

“Nah, I’ll go buy some. I’ll just be a few,” he said, closing the door and adjusting the knit black beanie on his head.

You looked up at him again, feeling a sense of guilt as he scanned the granite counter for his car keys.

“No no, you stay,” you said to him, lowering your laptop screen but not closing it fully. “I’ll go. I need a break anyway.”

He cocked his head a little. “I don’t even think the grocery store is open this late. Let me go to the convenience store and get one of those small cartons.”

You shook your head again, standing up and reaching for the keys that had been in your eyesight the whole time. 

“I’ll go to the one further away. No biggie.”

Mark smirked a little as you pulled on your sneakers. “You’re getting in the way of my plan to secretly buy those cookies I like.”

You let out a gentle laugh, pressing a kiss to his cheek and slinging your purse over your shoulder. 

“Was already on my shopping list, silly.”

“Love you!” He shouted behind you, laughing as you jokingly waved him off and made your way to your car.

Your favorite convenience store was a few minutes away, by your parents’ house. They didn’t have an extensive selection of groceries, but they did have vanilla coffee creamer, and Mark’s favorite cookies. And that was enough to keep you coming back. 

It was the same convenience store you’d practically grown up at, piling rice balls and mochi donuts on the counter after every drunken night out. 

So much that the staff knew you by name, often “forgetting” to scan an item or two and keeping it a secret from the store manager. 

The little bell chime indicated your entrance, and right away you were met with enthusiastic greetings from the employees. 

“Y/n!” the regular employee exclaimed, ushering you to the newly placed display of rice balls. 

You chuckled in response. “Just here for creamer, actually! But that is very tempting.”

You made your way around the display to the fridge, grabbing two bottles and hastily finding your place in line.

Only two people stood in front of you, and you scrolled through social media on your phone as they rang up their items and trickled out of the store. 

At your turn, you placed both bottles on the counter, suddenly remembering Mark’s cookies you’d forgotten. “Sorry, let me grab one more thing!”

You sauntered two aisles down to the cookies while the cashier scanned, and then stopped when you noticed one box left on the shelf. One that was already being carefully examined by another shopper. 

Feeling a sense of discouragement, you pretended to look over the other options, knowing very well Mark didn’t like just any option. He was always very passionate in his request for jam-filled shortbreads. 

The shopper stood tall, back faced to you, as they scanned the nutrition labels and shifted the box around in their grip. 

Just decide, you urged them mentally. 

“Excuse me, are there any more of those?” You spoke suddenly, surprising yourself with your rather sharp tone. 

He turned on his heel, a serious expression on his face as his eyes met with the rushed voice. 

And you knew immediately. 

Despite the black beanie pulled snugly over his locks, oversized hoodie that swallowed his figure, and a thin black mask covering his nose and mouth, you knew in his eyes. 

Almond brown eyes filled with warmth and intensity, offset by the familiar beige galaxies that scattered across his eyelids, the rest concealed by his dark mask. What a shame it was, to cover something so beautiful. 

You could tell he knew, too, his gaze fixated on yours for a minute, saying nothing as he maintained his tenacious grip on the cardboard box. Your thoughts ran at a record pace, swirling around your head like harsh waves in a tsunami, searching for something- anything to cling on to. 

Say nothing, you told yourself. Leave. 

And before he could get a word out, you dropped your gaze to the tiled floor below him. “Nevermind. You can keep them.”

The convenience store spun all around you, much like the storm brewing in your head, as you practically sprinted back to the counter and slapped a twenty in front of the employee, who’d already bagged your coffee creamers. 

“Keep the change,” you said to him, before snatching the bag off the counter and making a beeline for your car. 

Your hands shook as you put the key in the ignition, seeing him exit the store out of your peripheral vision. Like a lost animal searching for safety, his head scanned over the cars in the parking lot, stopping in dismay as he recognized you again, this time through your foggy car window. 

Your head remained straight, forced tunnel vision on the giant soda advert plastered on the window of the store in front of you. 

And without so much as a glance in his direction, you made your way out of the lot and back toward your apartment. 

*

Hours spent replaying the interaction in your head quickly turned to days, and Mark could tell once again that something wasn’t right. You felt yourself sink back into that place of uncertainty and unresolved doubts. 

On top of that, your daily routine was beginning to drive you crazy. Wake up, work, come home, work. 

Sleep. Repeat. 

It also didn’t help that things between you and Mark had fallen tense in the past few weeks. 

Nights you worked late, he often did too, staying at the lab for a few hours extra and coming home more tired than ever. You tried to initiate intimacy with him, but it seemed he was the one declining lately. 

During your few minutes together before work, you broke the groggy silence to speak. 

“I need to go to my parents’ for a few days.”

He furrowed his eyebrows at you, cocking his head while chewing his toast. “Your parents’ place? Like, across town? Why?”

You shrugged, swirling a spoon around in your bowl of cereal. 

“I need some time. And space.”

He swallowed his bite of toast dramatically. “Are you- I mean, are we okay?”

You reassured him with a small smile. “Yeah, we’re okay. It’s just the stress of work and life. Want to make sure I get time to say hi to mom and dad, you know?”

Mark nodded. “Yeah, for sure. When are you planning on going?”

You got up from your seat at the table, bringing your bowl to the sink and giving it a light rinse. “Tonight. I’m just gonna pack a bag and go straight there after work. I already let my boss know I’ll be out for a couple days.”

Mark nodded again. “Okay, well say hi to them for me. I’ll hold down the fort over here.”

You walked over to him, pressing a little kiss to his temple, and grabbed your laptop.

“We’re okay,” you repeated. “And I love you.”

He didn’t respond, looking down  at his food as he pondered your words.

You left for work earlier than usual, stuffing a duffel bag of clothes in your trunk and letting your parents know you’d be there later. The work day went by slowly, projects and emails confirming that you did indeed need a few days away from all this. By the time the end of the day finally rolled around, you wasted no time booking it to your car and changing out your heels for a pair of sneakers. 

*

Your childhood home was on the other side of town, but the rush hour of traffic on a Friday evening doubled the time it took for you to get there. When you did, mom was already out for her night shift, and dad wasn’t even home for the week. 

Maybe coming here for the purpose of saying hi to mom and dad was a bit of a lie. But you had been honest to Mark about needing time and space. And several days off. Days you hoped to spend curled up in your childhood bed catching up on sleep. 

Your room was largely unchanged. There were still little holes scattered on the walls from where your posters were hung with thumbtacks, but the walls remained void of any new decor. The carpet was the same too, down to the prominent coffee stain you’d gotten on it nearly a decade ago. Your window still gave a clear view of the streets beyond yours, framed artistically by overgrown vines in the front yard.  

With a deep sigh, you leaned against the frame of the sill, soaking in the familiarity of it all. It was just like you remembered, and a part of you almost hoped you’d see something different. Maybe even someone. 

There was no doubt that the room brought memories of Felix flooding right back. You still remembered the way he’d knock on your window, always giving three straight thumps so you’d know it was him. A habit you found funny, remembering that he’d warn you not to open the window for any less than 3 knocks- because “2 knocks could be a serial killer’s greeting. And one knock could be a bear.”

These walls had heard some of the most obscene confessions, seen some of the most indecorous outfits you’d wear for him and only him. And yet, you found solace in knowing that they also housed some of the most intimate crying sessions, giddy laughter, and a blossoming relationship that would follow you so many years later. 

You stepped away from the window, finally making way to your bed and lying down with an exasperated sigh. Maybe a part of you hoped Felix was still in town. Maybe a part of you even came here on the off-chance he would come visit. 

Thoughts you shoved to the back of your mind, not having the emotional capacity to deal with the idea that you longed to experience it all over again. 

*

Mornings in your parents’ house were nothing like the way they were at Felix’s. Mom was always asleep for the day, having come home early in the morning from her shift. Dad usually wasn’t home. 

Such was the way things were when you awoke the next morning, birds chirping outside your window to indicate the start of a new, sunny day. You rolled over in your tangled sheets, squinting heavy eyes at your alarm clock and catching a glimpse of the time.

9:46am.

You’d surprised yourself with how tired you were, stretching your limbs lazily and staring at the blank ceiling above you. When you finally sat up in bed, the smell of breakfast hit your nose instantly. 

The house filled with scents of grilled meat and freshly brewed coffee, and you could make out the faint noises of the toaster popping and oil sizzling. 

Mom must have prepared breakfast for your return today. You wasted no time putting on your house slippers and bolting out the door to greet her, already appreciative of her kind gesture. When you turned the corner into the kitchen, a foreign sight caught you off guard. 

Your mom stood in front of the stove, scrambling eggs around in a frying pan as you’d predicted. 

And sat at the dinner table, stuffing forkfuls of Canadian bacon and sips of hot coffee in his mouth, was Felix. 

You audibly gasped, and Felix looked up from his plate to acknowledge you. 

He wore a plain white t-shirt, his straight hair hung loosely around his face with no particular placement, yet still somehow perfectly styled. 

A pair of silver earrings dangled by his neck as he looked up at you, mouth full of food. In an instant, he pushed his chair out from behind him and stood up, saying nothing as he continued to chew. Without the ability to talk, he gave you a small wave, which you ignored. 

You were suddenly self-conscious of your own appearance, looking far too casual in a tank top and shorts, house slippers loudly announcing you��d only just woken up. Your hair was still in yesterday’s work bun almost falling out of the flimsy hair tie, and the lack of makeup was more than hard on the eyes. 

Before he could finish chewing to get a sentence out, you shouted out to your mom, who still hadn’t noticed your arrival. “Taking a really important work call in the other room, could you keep it down please?”

She shouted back over the loud sounds of oil sizzling. 

“Sure thing, but look who’s here! Ah, it’s burning! Hold on,” And she turned her attention back to the stove. 

You looked over at Felix again, who’d finished chewing at this point, still standing awkwardly in front of his plate and fiddling his hands together like a lost child. 

“Oh… it’s nice to meet you.” You said, with a little bow, turning around quickly and disappearing back into your room. 

You refused to entertain this. You weren’t going to give him what he wanted, to pretend he was interested in your life just to get in your pants one more time. You’d humiliated yourself enough the first time. 

Back in your room, you locked the door with force and shoved your desk chair under the knob, triple-checking to ensure it couldn’t be opened. You shut the blinds and hopped back into your bed, wrapping the comforter around you and trying your best to steady your breathing. But it was no use; the tears began anyway. 

You can’t remember how long you cried- it must have been hours before you drifted off to sleep again. When you woke up for the second time that day, it was well past 5 in the afternoon. 

Your skin was sticky with sweat and your hair was begging to be let out of its knotted mess. When you rolled out of bed, a pounding headache made itself present. Crying and sleeping for hours were always a lethal combination. 

After a long shower and some time to think it over, you felt small and stupid again. Were you doing the right thing? What was the point of coming here if not for closure? Why were you even here? 

A fleeting voice told you to ditch the whole trip and go back to the apartment. Back to your safe space with Mark, where the two of you could marathon dumb movies and make love on the couch like you always did. 

But you quickly dismissed the thought, reminding yourself that you weren’t going to let some dumb fling drive you away from a much-needed vacation at your parents’ place. When you confirmed that the coast was clear, you made your way back out to the kitchen, where your mom sat at the dinner table with a book. 

“Hi honey,” she said. “We waited for you, figured you got caught up in that work call of yours.” A slight raise of her eyebrow indicated she knew. 

You sighed, sitting on the chair across from her. 

“Want to tell me what happened?” She asked. 

You shook your head. “Things are just difficult right now. I don’t want to get caught up in… things that I shouldn’t.”

She nodded, setting her book down. “He left you a little gift in the corridor.”

Then she got up from her seat and hoisted her purse over her shoulder. “Leaving for the evening- make sure you lock all the windows before you sleep.”

When she was out of sight, you made your way to the corridor, finding a little white box on the console table by the entrance. It was wrapped neatly with a blue ribbon, in typical Felix fashion. You pulled one end, watching the tie come undone, and carefully lifted one end to reveal the contents inside. 

The scent hit you before the sight, and you knew instantly. His signature baked goods. 

*

You were up much earlier the next morning. The fresh summer air beckoned you to go outside, which you did, completing an almost 3-mile jog. Post-exercise, you ate a full breakfast, and then called Mark, his phone going straight to voicemail. 

It wasn’t typical of Mark to sleep in, but you knew he was busy at the lab late these days, so you opted for a quick text instead. 

Late night again? Call me when you can. Love you :)

There was something so freeing about having no plans, no to-do list, and better yet, no monotonous routine like you had most days.It was like you could do anything you wanted while you were here- which you did. You watched old reruns of cartoons, flipped through ancient yearbooks kept in boxes out in the storage shed, and even repaired some of the flawed spots on your walls with a can of white paint you found. You also finished piles of chores around the house for your parents, going so far as to fold and hang all their laundry for them. By the time you’d put away the last of the socks, it was well past 5 in the afternoon. 

The loud sound of the doorbell startled you from inside your parents’ shared closet. Had they been expecting any packages? The gardener, perhaps? You cautiously made your way to the front door, smoothing down your blouse and adjusting your shorts that had ridden up while you worked. You unlatched the door and opened it, feeling a drop in your chest as you locked eyes with the figure. 

“Hi,” he said, keeping his gaze locked on yours. 

You cleared your throat. “Hi…Can I…help you?”

His lips parted slightly, closing again as his expression changed to that of dejection. 

“Um… I just came to drop this off.” 

You looked at his hands; which clutched a little white envelope. 

“Okay,” you replied, reaching out to take it from him. He pulled his hands back a little so that the envelope was just out of reach. 

You looked up at him again with a questioning look. 

“Did I… I mean, how are you?” He asked awkwardly. 

“Me?” You said in reply, feeling annoyed at his persistence for an interaction. “Is this a new mailman greeting? I’m good. Can I get my mail now?”

Your heart dropped as soon as you finished speaking. It was a despicable bit you kept up, enough to hurt even yourself. 

His lips pulled together in a thin line, raising his eyebrows and looking down at his feet. 

“Ouch. Yeah, here you go.” He handed you the envelope, turning around and marching off without a word. 

You watched his head hang as he took confident strides away from you, getting farther out of reach with each passing second. 

“Wait,” you called after him, a moot point as he only kept walking. 

As soon as he was out of sight, you slammed the front door, eyes welling up with tears as you slid down the door and dropped to the floor. Why had you said something so stupid? You imagined yourself in his shoes briefly, shaking your head at the thought of him reducing your existence to that of a delivery person.

It was the third time this week you’d fucked up a chance at making amends with Felix. And by far the worst one- there was no way he’d be back any time soon. Or ever again, for that matter. 

You wiped tears with the back of your hand, suddenly remembering the letter he came here to drop off. After a few deep breaths, you examined it in your shaky hands, thumbing over the ink on the back that spelled your name. His handwriting looked the same as it did so many years ago- so neat and carefully placed. You tore it open timidly, pulling out a little yellow card. 

Y/n,

It’s been a while

I hope you still like brownies!

I’m going to the new coffee shop across the street tomorrow if you’d like to join

9am?

PS- I’m sorry for dropping by unannounced!

You read the letter once, then twice, then six more times before you could even comprehend what it was. 

Despite your ingenuous behavior all week, he was still willing to try and fix things with you. That was, up until a few minutes ago. The invitation still sat in your hand, but it would be a miracle if he agreed to go anywhere near you after the stunt you pulled. 

You tossed the letter aside, burying a tear-stained face in your hands as you began to cry again at the thought that you’d likely never see him again. 

He’d slipped through your fingers yet again, only this time, it was entirely your fault. 

*

“You’re wasting your time with lame excuses and lies”

Why were you even trying? In what universe would Felix agree to see you again after the stunt you pulled? 

It didn’t matter. Chalk it up to pure delusion and naivety, but you were up bright and early, all dressed up and ready to meet for coffee with him. If he didn’t show, you’d surely owe him an apology, which your ego silently prayed you wouldn’t have to track him down to deliver. And if he did, things would be unbearably awkward. You’d lose either way- but that’s not to say he hadn’t already had his share of loss dealing with your abhorrent attitude. 

You were grateful you packed some of your nicer clothes while you stayed at your parents’. You’d settled on a feminine white peasant top, a pair of fitted slacks, and spent the morning curling your hair to convince him you weren’t always an unpresentable slob despite the way you’d appeared all week. 

When you arrived, the shop was teeming with young couples and coffee connoisseurs. The lively atmosphere combined with gloomy warm lighting made for a romantic date location- forcing you to remind yourself that this was not in fact a date. You verily assumed it to be a working session- one where you two would sort out the awkward encounters and establish boundaries again. Followed by some brief small talk and a proper send-off so that you could finally shut him out of your mind for good. 

A short staircase led you to the upper level, where most of the tables were neatly decorated with glass vases of daisies that thrived in the sun beams illuminated along the rows of windows. You clutched your bag, looking around nervously and trying your best to steady the rapid thump of your heartbeat in your throat. Couples. Couples. A family. A pair of sisters. 

And on the last table, Felix. 

He looked mature in a sleek white turtleneck and dangly silver earrings, his ashy locks tucked neatly behind both ears. As you approached the table, he looked up for a brief second, shifting his eyes away once again as you pulled out the chair across from him and took a seat. 

You waited for him to say something, which he didn’t. 

Conversely, your pride didn’t allow you to speak first. 

“You’re blonde,” you said suddenly, your voice coming out much shakier than you had anticipated. 

He focused on you again, expression unchanged. 

“So you do remember me.”

Link to part 2 here

[queer-n-here]

Y'ALL I READ A FELIX X READER FIC AND THIS BOY IS NOT GETTING OUT OF MY MIND.

I wanna fuck him so bad. I wanna pound into him till he's crying, blonde hair sticking to his forehead and his eyes rolled all the way to the back of his head. I wanna tell him how fucking good he is for me, I wanna tell him how fucking beautiful he looks like that, taking my cock and shuddering with each thrust of it. I wanna call him my slut, and mine alone, and leave hickeys everywhere. His makeup artists will hate me for it, but I don't care. He's mine, and I want to leave behind my marks on him even if his audience will never really see them, even if the only people who know that I'm the one who makes him sob and laugh to equal measure are the rest of the members and the staff.

I'd fuck him so good, make him see stars and still not stop. His brain would be mush by the time I'm done with him.

[kucikitty]

Boohoo Lixie~

Warnings; Overstimulation, PinV, Dacryphilia, Subby Lixie~

My first drabble hehe~

I wrote this hoe in the heat of the moment, hope you all enjoy!

If you enjoy it like, comment & rb!! <33

AS ALWAYS MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH MY CONTENT!! 18+ ONLY !!

Overstimulated Felix trying his damn near hardest to fight back the tears as you coax him out of his third orgasm. All he wants to do is be a good kitty for you, so he bites his lip and holds back as much as he can while you try and get him to give you a fourth. But it doesn’t last long, his bottom lip starts to quiver and as soon as you call it out the water works start. Tears streaming down his face, the blush on the apples of his cheeks and his nose. You don’t stop your movements when you lean down to kiss his tears away. Reassuring him he can give you one more because he’s been doing oh so well. He nods, sniffling and determined to obey you.

“You got it Lixie, just one more hmm?”

The way your pussy is clenching around him is driving him insane. You were so close and you were damned if he wouldn’t be able to handle it now.

A sob escapes his lips, “Y-yes one more.”

He hurriedly wipes his tears away, trying to hold his composure.

“Ah, ah- Only I can wipe these tears away.”

You lean forward to kiss the single tear falling down his cheek, which causes a ton more to fall. You just chuckle at his state, little does he know you get off to his crying.

Do not copy or repost my writing -> all rights to KuciKitty~

[urfavskzlvr]

Birthday Princess

MINORS DNI!!!!

Mentions of: oral (both receiving), corruption kink if you squint, praise, Felix wearing a skirt

Sub!felix and afab reader (gn! Pronouns)

<established relationship>

Notes: I’m not good with grammar and punctuation so I apologize 😥 this is so much longer than I thought it would be. Uhhh ahaha… happy late birthday Felix? I know this is so late but I really don't care :3

word count: 1.4K

(I will never ever ever ever ever ever ever stop loving this picture 😓)

———————————————————————

Felix was sitting across from you in the restaurant, looking up at you. His eyes are excited but embarrassed. The gift bag you gave him on his lap. He couldn’t wait to open it and now he wishes he did. You look at him with a mischievous smirk.

“Do you not like it, birthday boy?”

He just looks at you quietly frozen in shock.

“W-what is this, love?”

He asks embarrassed. He knows what it is but he wants you to say it, just to make his pants a little tighter. You shrug, giving him a hard time and a hard on on purpose. He didn’t want to take it out because you guys were in public but he felt his mouth water slightly. He saw the silicone and the leather straps. He thought about you wearing it and drilling into him.

“So? Do you like it?”

You snap him out of his head and he looks at you with wide eyes. He nods slowly. He looks back down at the bag and covers the contents with the tissue paper and places it next to him.

“You had that with us all day?”

His face turns red at the thought of you being so nonchalant about carrying around a strap on in a small bag all day. You had thought about this gag gift a long time ago. Slowly but surly the “gag” part became more literal and less as a joke. You nod your head. He looks back down at the bag and back up at you.

“When did you get this?”

He looked confused but excited.

“Today, before we went out.”

You told him you were going to the store, but you never specified what kind of store.

“Aren’t you happy I gave in to your begging before we left?”

He was about to open his mouth to say something but the waiter comes with the check. You pay and stand.

“Come on, birthday boy, let’s go home.”

You wink and reach your hand out towards him to take. He grabs his gift and takes your hand. You notice him holding the bag in front of his tented pants.

“Poor thing.”

You whisper teasingly. He looks away embarrassed as you two walk out onto the street. Your shared apartment was only half a block away. Not too much walking, but enough to have him whining.

“What’s the matter, Princess?”

You tease faking a sympathetic tone as he looks towards you with an unamused expression.

Eventually, after a lot of whining and light teasing touches, you two make your way into your apartment. Right away he takes the strap on out of the bag and looks at it with fascination. You come over to him and slowly slide his jacket off of him with a kiss to his neck. He keeps looking at the toy with a nervous smile. He’s had fingers and vibrators in his ass, but nothing ever this big and thick.

“You alright, baby doll?”

You watch him turn it over in his small hands and it honestly makes you a little wet. He looks at you like he’s just been given one million dollars. He smiles shyly, looks back at the toy and nods.

“Can we use this now?”

He asks eagerly. You go over to him and put a finger under his chin. You kiss his soft lips and smile.

“We can do whatever you want, birthday boy.”

He smiles and takes your hand. You two start walking to your bedroom, while he keeps staring at the toy. You two get in and close the door. He looks at you innocently.

“Strip.”

He listens right away and starts pulling his clothes off. You grab the toy and straps out of his hands.

“Now for your last gift, Princess.”

You walk to your closet and pull out another gift bag. He looks at you nervously as you hand it to him. He opens it and pulls out the pink fabric.

“A skirt? For me?”

You smile widely and nod your head. He blushes slightly.

“Go ahead, put it on.”

He complies and slides the skirt up his thighs, zipping it up to his waist. He’s so much more prettier than you imagined. He does a quick spin and the skirt flows with him. He turns back to you. His pretty cock bulges through the pink fabric.

“Such a pretty Princess, lixie.”

He walks over to you shyly and kisses your cheek. You grab his arm and push him back on to the bed. His skirt flows up when he lands exposing his twitching cock, leaking already.

“Already leaking for me, pretty boy?”

You tease and kneel in front of him. He sits up and pushes his skirt back down cutely. You pull it back up.

“Hold this, Princess.”

You hand the end of his skirt to him. He takes it and looks down at you begging with his eyes. You kitten lick his tip lightly. He lets out a soft sigh.

“Say please, princess”

His eyebrows furrow desperately.

“Please y/n.”

He whines and you smirk. You open your mouth a little and just put the head in. He lets out a little whine when he feels your warm spit touch him. You run your tongue over his small slit over and over. He grabs your head and tries to push you down more. Normally, you would scold him for being such a needy slut but, it’s his birthday, so you do what he wants. You slide him deeper into your mouth and he lets out a whiny groan. You bob your head, almost torturously, slow. He whines and tries to push and pull your head faster.

“Please, y/n, I want to go faster!”

He’s so needy for you and your warmth. You comply and start picking up speed. His whines start getting more high pitched and frequent. His cock twitches in your mouth. If you had to describe the taste of Felix’s cock, you would have to say heavenly. Salty but not bad enough that you don’t like it. He pushes your head down hard and thrusts up into your throat making you gag slightly. He lets out a shuddery moan and speeds up slightly.

“Y/n…. I’m going to cum.”

You pull your mouth off of his twitching length, spit strings still connecting you to him. He whines loudly at the sudden cold air on his wet skin. You turn away from him and start undressing yourself. You walk over to where the strap is sitting on the desk. You slip the leather harness on and you strap the dildo on. He watches you while he whines and his pretty cock twitches.

“Do you think you’ve been good enough for this yet, Princess?”

He looks at you and his eyes wander to the silicone dick. He nods aggressively. You walk over to him.

“Now it’s your turn to be on your knees, pretty boy.”

He does exactly what you say right away. His skirt flows as he quickly moves. You put your hand on his chin and swipe his bottom lip with your thumb. He opens his mouth slowly and you stuff your thumb onto his tongue. He looks up at you through his eyelashes.

“Don’t act innocent, I know you’re hungry for my cock.”

His eyes wander down and he nods. He puts a hand on the base and looks up at you for permission. You nod and he slowly opens his mouth and slides the silicone in. He slowly bobs his head up and down. His small hand still on the base holding it still for him. You grab his hair tightly and pull him closer so he's gagging on the tip.

"Oh, such a good cockslut. Look at you princess, so pretty gagging on me."

His whine gets more high-pitched as you keep speaking. He looks up at you with watery eyes. You smirk down at him while he keeps bobbing his head.

"So so pretty baby. You're doing so good princess."

After a few more moans and whimpers, you grab the base and pull out his mouth. he whines like a puppy. You reach down to grab his hands and pull him up. he looks at you innocently. You put a hand on his cheek.

"You want to be fucked now, pretty boy?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ahaha this took so fucking long for no reason. MWAH love you all.

[ipegchangbin]

saw u reblog a pervy changbin post 😩 spare some pervy skz thoughts maybe 🤲

— skz and perverted thoughts.

sub ! skz ot8 , dom ! gn ! reader 

🏷️ perversion. somnophilia. voyeurism. blasphemy. invasion of privacy. individual scenarios of 8 pining perverts. sorry anon for the late response!

— you’re the reason why bang chan never sleeps.

he knows that neither of you are together…yet. you usually sleep over at his place though, a one-bedroom apartment with an uncomfortable couch, so you’re forced to sleep next to him. chan never tells you this but he gets hard every night you sleep over. he refuses to admit—no, he will never admit that he gets hard to the idea of you sleeping soundly next to him, in nothing but your sleepwear. 

chan constantly thinks about waking you up from your sleep after you’ve taken your clothes off. chan knows that you sleep without underwear — he watched you slip into your pants without putting anything under — and he wants your bare skin on his. he hasn’t seen your eyes fluttered shut in slumber since you two face away, but he thinks about how you could dominate him with the mere awakening of your irises. he wants to shock you so that you can shock him back. chan wants to feel your heavy breath on his heavier exhales instead of the gentle sighs he so desperately wants to wake. he wants to grind on your legs, dig his face in your neck, and whine as you take care of him while half-awake. 

but no, he can’t have that, he can never have that, so he fantasizes. stroking his cock, once, twice, thrice, four times, while you count your sheep to slumber at the same pace.

— minho feasts on whatever eye candy you are.

he can only keep to himself for so long, staring from the chair opposite yours. he’s too dignified; minho hasn’t made his feelings clear with himself, let alone you, so he can’t do much. all he can do is look from a distance. stare. drill his eyes into every single inch of your smooth skin until his pupils dilate. fuck, you’re just his type. oh god, you’re so close yet so far. 

and he wants you to be close. close the physical distance. close in on the friendship and become something more. close, moan “minho, i’m so close.” he wants to have you cum on him, finally let yourself go after ruining him to the point he’s writhing and crying under you. after staring at your hands intertwined with your best friend’s, he realized so badly that he wants your hands on his neck, knocking the wind out of his system. choke him until he wiggles and begs wordlessly for breath—or for more? he can’t tell. he’d be willing to give up the act of being so stuck-up around you and offer a rare sight that only you can see. but no.

the only sight you see of him is a good friend zoning out. minho looks so distant but he’s there, fantasizing, daydreaming about your body, how fucking good you would sound while praising him. you’re so distant, yet you’re right there, like a mere feast for his eyes, but he wants you to eat him alive, feast on him the same way.

— it’s only you who can distract changbin.

your voice echoes through his head. changbin can’t focus on anything else and his vision tunnels. you’re the light at the end of it.

you told him off numerous times to do his job right. it had been a bad day and he tried to sympathize with you — but getting turned on from being scolded doesn’t count. he can’t help the thought of being told to shut up before being called all sorts of names. he daydreamed about getting pounded on the desk, the chair—maybe the floor, where you can ride and degrade him? he wants your fitted suits discarded alongside his. changbin just wants you to lose it on him, use him to let every drop of anger out, slap him, mark him, spit on him, use him. show your true colors instead of acting polite. break in front of him the way he breaks beneath you.

suddenly, you tapped his shoulder, then his screen, sternly reminding him to “get the fuck back to work, darling.” he’d shift his legs to hide his painful and leaking erection.

the cycle continued. you’d scold him, he’d get too horny to function, making you scold him again until it was only the both of you in left the office working overtime. it’s so wrong, getting off on your emotions that you almost can’t control. but damn it, your voice is too pretty, he wants to hear it scream, tell him off, again and again.

— you made hyunjin question everything.

the search bar has “friend walked in on me masturbating.” hyunjin can’t believe he typed that. it’s so unlike him to search for things that weren’t substantial, but maybe self-discovery is just as important. you aren’t watching anymore. but the question just…doesn’t quite cut it. 

he types again. “friend walked in on me masturbating but i liked it.” the results are dubious, some suggesting that it’s normal. some are porn videos — he watched as a lean, tall man got pinned down by another person, getting punished by someone peeping on him. he’s deleting the words key per key, tapping backspace until he’s on the last few letters. “i think i like my friend.” no, he already knew that long ago. “i want to fuck my friend.” no, he’d been fantasizing about that for years. you’re the reason why he masturbated in the first place, thinking of how you could ruin him, fuck his mouth with your crotch, drain him of his cum, fucking his own release back into himself. holy shit, hyunjin, that’s so bad, so bad…

“i want my friend to fuck me.” bingo. but not quite — he just can’t remove the image of your shocked, flustered face, the way you went all red, the way you hesitated and panicked. did you like what you saw? because his dick does.

hyunjin types again. “voyeurism kink guide.”

— jisung shouldn’t get too excited over you.

shock was written all over his face when he found out you liked him back, that you rejected your other best friend all because of him. imagine him riding the highs of the validation, basking in the image of you two being a couple. he loved that you saw nobody else but him.

imagine him riding his pillow to chase his high of release, basking in the image of that plush material being your lower half instead. he loved that you fucked nobody else but him.

maybe he got too pumped over the wrong things. shutting the door behind him and refusing to eavesdrop any longer, he shoved his pants down, frantically freeing his hard cock, and thought of you. you, possessive, in love with him as he was with you. jisung wanted you to own him, make him yours. he wanted to be shoved in between your arms and held up on the wall first before plummeting to the bed, whining and crying nothing but your name. he wants to forget his own. he wants the hands of his longtime crush to crush him and leave his ass bruised and his back arched.

he’s filthy. jisung stared at his hands, coated in cum that won’t stop flowing, wondering if you’re cool dating someone whose first thought about you was sex. sex with feelings, he swears, but he huffs and keeps going, overstimulating himself.

— it was you and a train ride felix couldn’t stand.

he was trying to read the tale of orpheus and eurydice, standing in the moving train, but he ripped his eyes off his book the minute you stood in front of him. stunning, amazing. curse god for making the train cramped today, his erection kept brushing against your legs.

felix felt fire surge between his legs as he took a whiff of your scent, an alluring aroma making its way down his system. you looked like a dream, like a doll that god herself sculpted out of love. he wanted to get a taste of you. he wondered if this is what couples in public transport felt like, dragging their hands down each other, feeling the other up through and under the layers of clothing. how much could he leak when one of your fingers traces down his v-line? felix wondered about the thrill of getting caught, the thought of whimpering just a little too loud for other people to hear, to shift his legs in the wrong way, hitting the wrong person, alerting everyone of your lewd antics. but why, why did he want you to do this to him?

you stood tall until you didn’t, losing balance on him. you thanked felix for catching you, but you didn’t turn his direction for long. like orpheus, he followed you, his eurydice: he can’t let you face him after everything he imagined. he tried not to drool and stared at the back of your head, hoping to only see your face after the train ride.

— seungmin’s the sinner you shouldn’t forgive.

was it his fault if you locked eyes with him first? he looked at the altar and scanned the image of the deity before him, questioning his morals, a feeling he hadn’t felt ever since he kept a penny to himself in first grade. 

he heard you chant in the pew beside him. “i offer my body to you.” he heard you say it, over and over, parts of your body folding into prayer position. you were hypnotizing to witness. seungmin couldn’t help but eye down your irresistible features, watched the glow from the lights hit your face and body in just the right way. he wanted to touch you, a living statue, and he wanted to put a show in front of the altar. he wanted you to ruin him, his upper half hunched over the head of the kneeler. or maybe he wanted to kneel in front of you as he took you in his mouth, tasting every bit of you, licking every drop of your essence as if it were holy water.

you were a fallen angel. sent from the clouds down to the earth to test his temptation, and he was giving in. but you weren’t a messenger, you betrayed your god, and you indulged in his sin, never forgiving him, damning him to the flames of lust for an eternity. he’s gross, but you’re an angel, and he’s chanting his prayer:

“corrupt me, corrupt me, corrupt me, i surrender myself, my body and life, all to you…”

— you should put jeongin where he belongs.

he’s insecure. for the first time in the decade-long relationship, he’s insecure about his place in your commitment. jeongin wasn’t sure if you loved him that much.

that was, until he “accidentally” found your journal entries. he also “stumbled upon” the messages you wrote about him to your friends. he remembered this thrill, similar to the time in the early stages of your relationship where he’d snoop on things such as your plush toys, shirts, underwear…he got a bottle of your perfume just to spritz it on his pants, pretending you were jerking him off from below.

now here he was, surfing through your written words about how much you loved jeongin. you truly loved your boyfriend — but nobody was like him, fucking into his own hand while seeing you gush over him in your friend’s messages. he wanted you to gush all over his cock, his body, his face, only to slap him and scold him, forcing your arms on his cheeks to make him face you in fear. he wanted you to stop him from dealing with your stuff, telling him to mind his own things — exactly the same way you found out he was messing with your underwear before.

jeongin’s thinking please, just please, put me in place, don’t make me go anywhere else, i’ll never doubt you again. i’ll drown in you. 

[quokkadoolsetnet]

NSFW SKZ TWT LINKS

mdni

🥟 destressing after a busy week

⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶⊹

pegging 🐥 for the first time after he begged you to

⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶⊹

🐺 sending you a video to show how much he misses you

⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶⊹

teasing 🐿️ until he whines and begs for your pussy

⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶⊹

tying up 🐰 and giving him exactly what he deserves

⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶⊹

letting 🐶 hump your thigh while you try to sleep -THIS LINK IS NO LONGER WORKING-

⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶⊹

edging 🐷🐰 until he is shaking

⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶⊹

desperate 🦊 humping the bed while you play with his pretty ass

[felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna]

felix enjoying his tea.. soup? too cute. the little noises of enjoyment he makes... 🥹

[becomingmina]

BECOMINGMINA'S FAVOURITES

Hello I have been meaning to do a list of my favourite MATURE works on tumblr <3

18+ ONLY! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

KEYS : {F} FLUFF {A} ANGST {M} SMUT {S} SUGGESTIVE

ღ : MUST READ!!!!!!!

STRAY KIDS 스트레이 키즈 / SKZ

Be that guy {A} ; {M} w/ Bang Chan (Bahng Christopher) written by @daizymax

ღ Push, pull {A} ; {M} ; {F} w/ Bang Chan (Bahng Christopher) written by @tasteleeknow

Score {M} w/ Lee Know (Lee Minho) written by @moonhoures

Lost in Translation {M} w/ Lee Know (Lee Minho) written by @moonjxsung

ღ Leave the door open {F} ; {A} ; {M} w/ Lee Know (Lee Minho) written by @formidxble

Period sex {F} ; {M} w/ Lee Know (Lee Minho) written by @hyunsvngs

Goodnight {F} ; {M} w/ Lee Know (Lee Minho) written by @straykeedz

Of lipstick stains and zipper games {M} w/ Lee Know (Lee Minho) written by @gimmeurtmi

Good to me {M} w/ Lee Know (Lee Minho) written by @daizymax

Possessive {M} w/ Changbin (Seo Changbin) written by @ddyskz

White Angel {M} w/ Changbin (Seo Changbin) written by @charmercharm3r

Just like you {A} ; {M} w/ Hyunjin (Hwang Hyunjin) written by @milkandhyunnie

No nut November {M} w/ Hyunjin (Hwang Hyunjin) written by @gimmeurtmi

No nut November {M} w/ Han (Han Jisung) written by @gimmeurtmi

Sweater Weather {M} w/ Han (Han Jisung) written by @cinhomi

I’m Yours, You’re Mine {A} ; {M} ; {F} w/ Felix (Lee Yongbok) ➵ part one, part two, part three written by @wildernessuntothemselves

A little pampering {F} ; {M} w/ Felix (Lee Yongbok) written by @daizymax

My favourite dessert {F} ; {M} w/ Felix (Lee Yongbok) written by @writingforstraykids

ღ Hurt people hurt people {A} ; {F} w/ Felix (Lee Yongbok) written by @lixiepixiedust

ღ Obsession {A} ; {S} w/ Felix (Lee Yongbok) written by @straykeedz

ღ Back seat {M} w/ Seungmin (Kim Seungmin) written by @baby-yongbok

Puppy love {F} ; {M} w/ Seungmin (Kim Seungmin) written by @yngtort

Routine {M} w/ Seungmin (Kim Seungmin) written by @gimmeurtmi

First time {M} w/ I.N (Yang Jeongin) written by @linopls

Liquid courage w/ I.N (Yang Jeongin) written by @writerracha

2+ Members

Piercings {M} w/ Lee Know (Lee Minho) & Seungmin (Kim Seungmin) written by @gimmeurtmi

ENHYPEN 엔하이픈

Babygirl {M} w/ Jake (Jake Sim) written by @jongseongsnudes

ღ sub! Jake x soft dom! reader {M} w/ Jake (Jake Sim) written by @jungwonenthusiast

Good girl {M} w/ Jake (Jake Sim) written by @h-33-s-3-ung

There's a lot Lee Know, I know 🙂‍↕️ And Jake is my bias from Enhypen 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ <333

[minhosimthings]

Lancey or Lancey

Symphony Smut Series Day 5: Lancey Foxx's Lancey or Lancey

Lyric: Took her to Paris, she took her panties off

Pairings: Bf!Felix × fem!reader

Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, fingering, p in v sex, overstimulation, lingerie kink, Frottage, implied use of pheromone, dom!felix, sub!reader, protected sex, reader orgasms like 3 times, fluffy at the end (sorta), smut with plot

A/N: sorry for delaying day 5 everyone! I had to release my Christmas headcannons yesterday so I couldn't really post this. But we are back on track! So enjoy my urge for Felix to buy my lingerie, through this stupid oneshot.

THE SYMPHONY SMUT SERIES MASTERLIST

"Felix tell me you're kidding right now."

"Hmm." Your boyfriend put his finger to his temple, pretending to playfully think, "I think.... Nope!"

You could have screamed out loud right there. But instead of damaging your boyfriend's ears, you decided to damage his heart, by filling it with too much love, by hugging him almost to the point of his ribs breaking.

"I love, I love you, and I love you." You kissed every part of his face after every 'i love you'. His freckles, his nose and finally his lips, where you loved to be the most.

"I can't believe we're going to Paris." You slumped back on the bed, not being able to realise that you had Paris tickets clutched in your hands.

"Me neither darling." Felix leaned closer to you, encasing your waist in his arms, his grip sending tingles throughout your body, "Oh and I have a surprise for you."

"Don't tell me you got me lingerie." You rolled your eyes at him playfully, "Lix, for god's sake you already bought me so much crap."

"But this is special, I promise!" Felix scrunched his nose at you, before reaching over and taking out a box from underneath the bed.

"You hid it under my bed for how long exactly?" You raised your brow at his weird hiding spot, "Wait so this is why you were searching for your missing sock under my bed!?"

Felix chuckled, his deep voice pulsating throughout your body like electroshock. "You never clean the underside of your bed, so it became the perfect hiding place."

The box he held in his hands was about the size of a shoebox, completely covered in pink ribbons and lace and whatnot. It was pretty, you had to admit, but you were confused about whether Felix was getting you a box or lingerie.

"Open it princess." Felix nudged the box into your arms, "You'll like it, I promise."

You had often gotten lingerie as gifts from your boyfriend, with all of them almost becoming your daily wear. But he had never gotten you something like this.

"Liz is this-" "A lingerie dress? Yes princess, yes it is."

You stared at felix in awe, before snapping your head back to the white cloth in the box. It was pretty, made up of, what you assumed was white silk, with lace ribbons decorating the neckline perfectly.

"But, but, but, this isn't the surprise."

You looked up at Felix with confusion clouding your eyes, which made him chukle at how adorable you were.

"So the surprise is-" Felix said, in a hyperbole voice, "I get to fuck you in these in Paris."

"That's the surprise?" You scoffed, at how underwhelming it was, "We could fuck-"

"And you get no sex until we get to Paris and you're in this beautiful piece of art."

It was as if you got a slap to your face when you heard Felix's words echo through your mind.

"Lee Felix Yongbok." You glared at him, "Tell me you're joking."

"Nope." Felix leaned back against the bedframe, his shirt riding up slightly to reveal his abs, "Let's just say this is payback for making me love no nut November on purpose."

"So what is this then? Death by No Dick December?" You glared at him, as he sealed you tighter in his arms.

"Impatient aren't you?" Felix mumbled into your ear, rubbing his hand against your leggings, "Patience is a good virtue darling."

"Not when your dick is literally rubbing against my pussy."

A week passed and you were finally in the land of romance and love and roses and croissants.

A week with none of your favourite food in your mouth or in your pussy. Felix enjoyed it, the way you were basically on your knees for him, but you weren't a sore loser, so you kept the game up, with the help of your trusty vibrator.

But now, it was the real game.

After you enjoyed some nice croissants by a quaint cafe and petted a lot of stray cats, you headed back to your hotel, side-eyeing Felix all along the way who had not a clue about all the breakdowns you were about to have. Your cunt was itching to the point of destruction, and his dick was the only way of peace.

"Well aren't you gorgeous now?"

The room was more dimly lit than it was when you had entered it, the smell of lavender intoxicating you, courtesy to Felix's new perfume.

"Come 'ere." Felix opened his arms, as you silently walked towards him, the chill breeze from the open window giving you goosebumps. The material of the lingerie was thinner than you had anticipated, basically transparent, but then you reminded yourself that this was what Felix liked the most. And if you obeyed properly like his good princess, he would give you the medicine to your poor cunt.

"Fuck you're like a goddess." Felix's hands traced over your barely clothes thighs, leaving marks with his mouth on your collarbone, making you whimper.

"What do you want princess?" Felix chuckled. Teasing you was always fun, "My cock hmm? Use your big girl words now, come on. We don't wanna disappoint the city of love do we?"

"Ah fuck Lix!" Your voice vibrated off of the walls as felix squeezed the inner walls of your thigh, the desperation of him had been so high that even a tiny squeeze was already getting you wet, "Need your cock please!"

"Good girl."

He chuckles at how needy you sound, but at the same time, your voice has blood rushing to his cock while his head swirls with desire. He shifts his own hips, subtly pressing his erection against your ass. His eyes flutter at the minute pleasure. He grows more bold, and his hand rubs your hip before coasting up your side to your chest, giving your breast a gentle squeeze.

You whimper louder and squirm. He squeezes again softly while lowering his head to your neck to lay some tender kisses on the side of your throat. His palm leaves your tits and smooths down over your tummy in the direction of your panties.

Cautiously, he maneuvers his hand past the waistband and dips into your cunt. He cups your pussy, feeling the heat radiating off the area. A single finger slides between your folds in almost an exploratory touch. He feels your slick all over his digit.

He begins to use another finger, sliding the two up and down through your wetness. You roll onto your back, your breasts rising and falling as your breath gets heavier. Your thighs spread a little as if you subconsciously sensed his presence between your legs.

“I’m right here, sweetheart. I’ve got you,” he murmurs, his voice huskier with arousal this time around.

You cry out as his fingers brush against those same spots that brought you to the finish last time. Your hips twitch, and you grip his thighs as your peak rises within you. Moments later your cumming all over his fingers, sucking in a harsh breath as a second release courses through you, even more intense then the last.

His free arm keeps you secure against his chest while rubbing your side soothingly. The heel of his other palm roughly massages your clit as his fingers pump in and out.

As soon as you seem to be coming down, Felix lifts you up again, tugging your clothes off and moving your body around like a doll to get you in the position he wants. You were definitely more pliant after two orgasms, but you could also see how the weeks without pussy had been paying off. He was getting better.

He has you on your back now, thighs against your chest and knees hooked over his arms. Again, he had no patience to tease right now, so after pushing his sweats down to mid thigh, he takes his cock and slides it in you with no hesitation. He groans as your hole takes him in, your walls pulsing around him even after he bottoms out.

Your eyes droop at the stretch. It always felt so satisfying, having him buried balls deep in you. As close as he could possibly be. No fear of him leaving or pain of being separated. You whine and reach up to pull him closer.

“Perfect pussy’s made for me,” he grunts while snapping his hips, “Miss it every second I’m not inside it.”

“Lix” you whine, “Harder. Wanna feel it.”

He moans at your plea but indulges you, grabbing you harder, pressing your legs higher, filling you deeper.

He fucks into you over and over, stoking the flames within himself, trying to build to that explosion. You were so tight, so warm. He hums another low moan and whimpers softly as he feels it right there. He gasps softly before holding you tighter and muttering in your ear.

“Good… good girl,” he moans before his hips buck wildly and he finally releases.

You finish for a third time. You cling to him tight as the euphoria washes over you again. Locking your legs around his hips, you keep your face pressed to the warm skin of his neck as it goes through you. You feel the hot flood of cum he fucks into you. His chest is heaving now too as he recovers from the high.

He stays on top of you for a moment before pulling out. You cling harder upon losing that full feeling. He smiles at your desire to be close to him and gives you one more kiss before sitting up.

"Well-" Felix's deep voiced chuckle vibrates throughout your body, "That was fucking good."

"First of all-" you sleepily say, "Fuck you for depriving me of all that good dick for a week." You glare at him, "Second of all, I want more lingerie like this."

"Whatever you say darling." Felix shrugs his shoulders, supporting you a little straighter against his figure, "You know Paris does have really good lingerie."

Taglist: @ramenoil @mynameisniya150 @demigodmahash + whoever wants to be tagged the list is open!