#su wants her to judge her she wants to be told that she’s unforgivable

[starry-carrousel]

Posting these here too

[arrozaurus]

just wanted your take on this: im a fellow pink/rose enthusiast and i always have fellow su fans tell me that rose was unforgivable due to the fact she lied to everyone/led to every issue in the series/'abandoned' everyone. i agree with some parts of what they say, but i can never find the words to truly articulate Why i find rose so inspiring. how do u feel if/when people tell you rose was an 'inherently bad' character?

ive always laughed my little laugh imagining them as rose quarts trying to convince me how evil pink diamond is. that's how she feels inside. but characters in the universe actually don't care about that as much as she (they) thinks.

i believe you find her inspiring for the same reason other characters like her: because her genuine warmth sucks everyone in. she is just a nice person to be around. she doesn't badmouths you when you're not around, she doesn't judge you for stuff you would consider embarrassing, she finds an ordinary thing and its like its the best thing shes ever seen, and shes not even pretending to like it, it really is the best thing shes ever seen.

i bet everyone would understand this better if her story had been told with the same lens as greg, but not a lot of people realize that the show is narrated unreliably by steven. such is life 😔

[criticallyalexandrite]

Idc the Diamonds should be shattered

For real though I’ve never seen an SU stan give a good legit reason for why the Diamonds shouldn’t be shattered. All the reasons I’ve seen amount to “I refuse to understand that the Diamonds are slaveowners because X reason.” I personally think on the Homeworld gems who are only doing what they’re told out of fear should be given a chance. But not the Diamonds, because there is nothing forcing them to be slaveowners. I also don’t give a shit about posts where people say that a character being an alien makes them not abusive. By that logic Bill Cipher isn’t abusive cuz he’s a demon. Do you see how dumb and semantics focused that reasoning is now? Besides, the gems have a very similar mindset to humans. Their emotions function similarly to humans. The only thing stopping the Diamonds from caring about other organic life forms is their pride. Pride is the only motivation they have for enslaving and destroying other planets. Also there is the fact that they are slaveowners. Being a slaveowner HISTORICALLY isn’t something a person should be allowed to come back from. Another thing I’ve noticed with Diamond stans is they tend to not understand how serious and unforgivable slavery abuse actually is. Everytime you ask them to explain how they think the Diamonds aren’t slaveowners they’ll be like “the Homeworld gems are just servants uwu.” Like y’all do know that servant is another word for slave yes? And even if it wasn’t you prove that you have a fundamentally flawed understanding of what abusive work ethic is by comparing the Homeworld gems to regular workers. Regular workers are allowed to quite and get a different job if they want to. Disabled workers are welcomed not accommodated or discriminated against in a healthy work environment. The Homeworld gems are not allowed to do either thing. The Diamonds are now established to normally kill off colors AKA disabled gems on the spot if they are “too off color.” Peridot most likely only got a break cuz despite her  not being able to shapeshift she was useful enough that the Diamonds tolerated her. But tolerating someone who’’s a minority cuz they’re useful is not proof someone is good. So, Diamond stans who use the Diamonds sparing Peridot or Pink as proof they’re good can fuck right off. Tolerance is not the same as genuine kindness and it never will be. Plus if we’re gonna go with some dumbass “all the Diamonds secretly hate colonizing” narrative then that makes the Diamonds worse morally. Cuz if they want to secretly stop colonizing but continue to colonize any way to save face that proves even more so that their motive is pride. Plus my other problem with people who say the Diamonds SOMETIMES being merciful towards their slaves? it sounds like gaslighting. That special kind of gaslighting that toxic people do where they do “Well your abuser is sometimes merciful so that means they’re not actually abusive.” But I 100% disagree with that black and white thinking. It is not morally grey to have an abusive character that sometimes treats their abuse victim decently. That is actually a form of manipulation that abusers use. It’s their way of making you question yourself for thinking they’re abusive. Even if they’re not consciously doing it, they’re subconsciously doing it. Which is still just as serious and should not be treated as proof that they’re secretly good. Stop diminishing the harm abusers do just cuz they pretend to be nice sometimes. And last but not least my most hated reason Diamond stans use for wanting the Diamonds redeemed SU stan: But I like them so I want them redeemed. To that I have to say, and? Believe it or not I like Yellow Diamond. I like her cuz she’s the only Diamond that the show isn’t forcing you to pity 24/7. Yes unfortunately she got redeemed which I’m still pissed about. I was really hoping she would turn down Steven’s offer of mercy. But gotta ignore character agency to have that aesop handled with kindergarten morals level execution amirite. So yeah, you liking the Diamonds still isn’t a justifiable reason for wanting the crewniverse to redeem the Diamonds. You can like a horrible tabusive character and recognize they need to be held fully accountable for their actions. That means no going ”But the abusive character is depressed/has some other mental illness and or neurodivergency!!” ”But the abusive character is an abuse victim!” ”But the abusive character had a tragic backstory!” ”But the abusive character mistreated their victim out of love!” ”But the abusive character is inhuman so you can’t judge them via using human morals!” ”But the abusive character is probably only abusive out of ignorance!” ”But the abusive character doesn’t understand empathy!” ”But the abusive character is attractive!” (Yes I’ve actually seen people use that last one not just for the Diamonds but for many other abusive characters that shouldn’t be redeemed,.) But my problem with Diamond stans is…none of you do that. You SAY that you liking the Diamonds doesn’t mean you excuse their actions but your actions show the opposite. Everytime you demonize an SU crit for wanting the Diamonds shattered you prove that you don’t want the Diamonds held accountable. Everytime you tell SU crits that it’s a kiddie show so of course the Diamonds can’t be shattered on screen you don’t hold the Diamonds accountable. (Besides that second one really doesn’t work considering the show has shown very disturbing imagery to the kid viewers in the fandom multiple times. Disturbing imagery far worse than the implication of shattering a sentient gem.) Honestly the Diamonds have committed so many atrocities that the only way they can redeem themselves is self sacrifice via shattering. That is honestly the only kind of Diamond redemption arc I could be ok with. But it would have to not involve the author of that redemption arc forcing me to feel bad for the Diamonds. As soon as that happens it’s garbage. If your villain characters is truly sympathetic you shouldn’t have to use the Freudian Excuse trope to make people sympathize with them. But PREFERABLY the Diamonds don’t get a redemption arc at all. PREFERABLY the Diamonds get killed as a true realistic consequence for the atrocities they’ve committed. PREFERABLY the Diamonds’ abusive behavior doesn’t get excused by the literal protagonist of the show. Tbh just like what I said a few days about how the show lazily addresses racism, the crewniverse could VERY easily have the Diamonds be shattered. They just chose not to because Becky got too attached to her abusive OC’s while developing them. Tl;dr: SU stans still have a flawed understanding of what makes a villain character worthy of redemption. Also don’t even bother getting into a roundabout debate with me where you condescendingly act like I’m wrong for wanting the Diamonds shattered. I’m not interested in a debate of that topic. Because they always end the same way. I’d rather spend my time doing something more productive. If you try to sneak and do it anyways I’ll just spam memes at you until you leave.

[faelapis]

on steven universe and villainy

i feel parts of the su fandom is kinda obsessed with the villain label lately, and the idea of that someone is still a villain even if they’re sympathetic.

it’s telling that in the last 24 hours alone, i’ve seen several posts about how important it is that blue diamond is a villain. not going into her motivation or worldview, mind you, the focus was the label. it never amounts to much, that word just seems like a stand-in for whether or not you ~condone their actions. 

here’s the problem with that: people can do bad things, terrible things, without being perceived as villains. judging a character not on actions, but on whether or not they have “redeemable qualities”, is shallow at best and dangerous at worst. i saw a lot of that with peridot and jasper before: peridot isn’t worth calling out. she’s “not really” a villain. she’s funny! she’s a dork!

(this is literally no different than jasper threatening to shatter steven, it’s just presented in a less serious lens. do with that what you will.)

discussion on whether those are “redeemable” qualities aside... so what? i don’t care if garnet does them or yellow diamond does. i care very much about the consequences + motivations behind it, mind you, but not whether or not you would consider the character a “villain”. 

the show trusts YOU to make some of those calls for yourself, and “redeeming qualities” shouldn’t be a get out of jail-free card where your actions don’t matter. if the only characters we could “judge” were villains, people could get away with a lot of crap. i don’t want that.

on the flipside, take jasper - a character who, i think unfairly, is oft dismissed as a villain. she has very sympathetic reasons for the vast majority of what she does, and it all makes sense within her worldview. she holds herself to the exact same standards as everyone else, if not more so. she’s been through so much trauma and abuse, i think she could qualify for the “top 3 characters spending big portions of their life being miserable”. she’s always fighting for something she perceives as just. she doesn’t see herself as a paradigm of morality, mind you, but her goal? that’s untouchable to her.  

now, she’s also a stubborn, desperate asshole who drag you to the damn ends of the earth if you’ve done something she perceives as unforgivable. her standards are harsh, and her excellence in her role has forced her down a path of violence towards her enemies. 

she can be both. the bigger point here is, steven universe doesn’t shy away from anyone’s flaws. so... the whole “villain” thing feels a little silly to me. the crew actively says no to whether that applies to anyone. actions matter, but no one in this show “beyond saving”, so... i don’t see the point in bickering over a label that has no bearing on whether a character is deeply flawed, or will be killed off. the first is yes, the latter is no.

blue diamond is neglecting her people by wallowing in emotion, and acts out of love for a fellow diamond. lapis looks out for lapis first, but she’s also deeply hurt. yellow diamond isn’t being rational, but she holds herself to the same standards of performing her role as anyone else. pearl? can drag others into her self-loathing, and she’s willing to sacrifice for those she loves. amethyst? can focus on her own insecurities to the point of ignoring others, but once she knows how others feel, she cares so much! 

look, whether you wanna call someone a villain... isn’t the point. what bothers me is the discussion feels like it’s been... for lack of a better term, dumbed down. it’s less about characters than forcing a label that, really, doesn’t mean anything here. it’s all rhetoric and setting up expectations that isn’t what the show is going for. 

rebecca sugar: it’s a fantasy show. i think it’s a fantasy that no one is truly evil. i don’t know if that’s true in reality, but it’s certainly true on my fantasy. why wouldn’t it be? (x)

this isn’t gonna end with anyone being killed, or left to rot. the show is about slowly understanding why they think the way they do. that’s true for all the characters. none of them are going to be the big bad who, while sympathetic, still has to “go down”. i hope that’s not what you’re hoping for. 

we’re gonna find out more about the resource crisis, caste system, and how the diamonds came about in the first place. the thing about context is, it changes the way we view things. the show’s already told us that. it’s not going to be as simple as one person to blame all the world’s problems on. 

heck, they told us that in season one:

(pearl on humanity)

we’re weaving together the worldviews of every character to show that complex network of interrelated forces. we’re filling out the complete, nuanced picture. i don’t pretend to know exactly how it will go down, but so far, su has been fantastic at making the characters make sense, deep flaws and all. in a way, that makes you question what you would do in their situation, and from there, the viewer can judge how much empathy they deserve. 

that’s been true for jasper, peridot... why wouldn’t it be true for every character?

[temptation-narnia-chronicles]

From Upon the Golden Thrones

Episode 25: Mother Narnia

               Autumn had once again befallen Narnia and with it, the country had grown rather hectic with preparations. The construction for Susan’s orphanage had finally reached its completion, Mrs. Beaver helping to add the finishing touches for it’s grand opening. Susan often ventured off to oversee the progress, ensuring that everything was just so. She had truly grown rather frantic and obsessive over it, but such was only natural with a project as grand as this.

               “I’m sure everything will be fine” Lucy assured the gentle. Susan peered over the paperwork cluttering her desk, trying to organize her thoughts. The youngest queen placed a gentle hand on her sister’s shoulder to steady her mind. “You’re doing a good thing, Susan. The Narnians are going to be so grateful for this, I promise. Try not to worry yourself!”

               “I know, Lu” Susan replied, voice worn out. “I suppose I’m just nervous. This is a rather grand affair and I’m scared of something going wrong. All the dignitaries in the neighboring lands will be in attendance and I want to make a good impression. I want them to see what I’ve done and to feel proud and impressed.” Lucy nodded in understanding, though she continued to reassure her sister that everything would be fine. In her mind, there was nothing to fear. Susan glanced back over her paperwork, eyes shifting to a stack of returned RSVPs. Almost all of the neighboring countries had agreed to come, including one particular family of interest.

               The morning sun beat down on the docks as the Pevensies rushed to greet their guests. Lucy clasped her sister’s hand as they nodded and smiled at each lord and lady that approached, Tumnus and the Beavers escorting them inside and showing them to their chambers. And then there was her. Peter’s heart leapt into his throat as he saw a familiar blonde woman step off the ship, calling behind her something about her trunks. She was dressed in a rather airy pink gown with her hair piled high atop her head and adorned with a small feathered hat tilted just so. She turned and scurried down the docks to wrap her arms around Susan jovially, shrieking with delight and congratulating her. Susan hugged her back, thanking her profusely for coming.

               “Well, it was a little short notice but I wouldn’t worry, darling. I’m here, aren’t I?” she replied. Peter knew her in an instant. Standing before him was none other than Ginevra of Brenn.

               His cheeks grew hot and his hands began to twitch at his sides. Of all the guests he was expecting to greet this morning, she was certainly not one of them. Her father, Duke Rochester, followed close behind, grinning at the four monarchs and bowing down low to them.

               “A fine morning, your majesties” he greeted.

               “It’s wonderful to see you, Duke Rochester. How was your trip?” Susan asked.

               “Oh, absolutely dreadful!” Ginevra replied. “It was such a long journey, and the seas were so unforgiving, I could barely stand it!”

               Duke Rochester chuckled and nodded, then added, “But luckily we made it in one piece, didn’t we, Ginny?” Ginevra nodded quickly, then began rambling about how beautiful Cair Paravel looked and how excited she was to see the inside. Susan told her once she was settled into her chamber, she would have to give the girl a tour. “And it’s wonderful to see you again, as well, your majesty” Duke Rochester then said, turning and bowing to Peter.

               “The pleasure is all mine” he replied. He tried his best to keep his composure but his eyes kept flitting back to Ginevra, and hers to him. Before being escorted inside, she bowed and smiled curtly at him, greeting him with the utmost civility and politeness. He watched her walk away and a mild relief washed over him. Despite their conversation before leaving Brenn, he still feared interaction between them. Old habits die hard, after all, and for all he knew whatever he said could very well have not stuck. He was grateful to find that so far, she was perfectly pleasant but that meant nothing. He couldn’t stop thinking about her the entire rest of the morning, as the remaining guests filtered out of their vessels and into the castle. While relieved to find her behaving so appropriately, at the same time he felt almost bothered by her courtly manner. He expected something far more extroverted of her, even if he didn’t necessarily want it. Now that he knew that was not what he was getting, though, his mind raced. She was much harder to read like this, playing things lowkey and collected. Perhaps deep down, he really did want some sort of reaction from her. Perhaps he wanted her to say something to him, to show him some sort of sign that the feelings she had expressed still existed. That wasn’t to say he was at all ready for another relationship, not in the slightest, and yet…feeling wanted was nice, he supposed.

               “I wish you would’ve warned me first” Peter whispered to his sister as they filed back inside the castle. “I wasn’t exactly prepared to face Ginevra today.”

               Susan sighed and smoothed her hair. “Out of all the other things I’ve had to do in preparation for this event, and you’re complaining about this?” she huffed.

               The magnificent blinked a few times, having not expected his sister to grow so short with him. He truly appreciated all the hard work she was doing in order for everything to run smoothly, but he had to admit a little notice at least would’ve been nice. He opened his mouth to speak, but Lucy placed a hand on his forearm and shot him a secondary gaze. A gaze that told him to rethink. Susan did not need this additional stress right now. He looked to her once more, studying the bags under her eyes and the tight clench of her fists, and closed his mouth.

               Lucy tightened her shawl around her shoulders as she stood beside her siblings in the orphanage’s atrium. Everything was in order: the dignitaries were waiting, the ribbon was ready to be cut, Peter had his sword ready at his side. Susan read her speech over once, twice, as many as five times in an effort to ensure she did not mess up at all. She paced the little enclosure the entire time.  

               “Su, I feel like I’m watching a one-woman tennis match” Edmund remarked. The gentle shot him a dirty look. Peter placed a hand on Edmund’s shoulder.

               “Just let her be, Ed. She’s nervous, and understandably so” the High King commented.

               “You’re one to talk, Peter!” Lucy laughed. She could tell that he, too, was internalizing panic and she knew exactly why. Out there, among the crowd, was Ginevra. In the past two days since she had arrived, Peter had hardly spoken to her let alone even looked her in the eyes. She, too, kept her distance from him, an awkward energy pulsing between them. Unspoken words and ignored feelings begged to surface.

               Peter shook his head, a pleading in his eyes for Lucy not to bring it up. He didn’t want to think about such things. He didn’t want to make his anxiety worse not only for his own sake but for Susan’s as well. If he started having a panic attack, surely it would trigger an even greater one from her. Susan had worked far too hard the past year to get here, he didn’t dare ruin her day. They needed to be gentle with her, at least until all of this had passed. She deserved an environment of tranquility while she prepared.

               The door to the atrium creaked open and Mrs. Beaver peered inside. “Are you ready, love?” she asked the gentle queen. Susan’s eyes grew wide with shock.

               “What? It can’t possibly be time, I’m—I’m not ready yet!” she protested. If only she had been wearing a watch to confirm her suspicions, but Mrs. Beaver simply toddled forward and took Susan’s hand in hers.

               “Don’t you worry, dear. Everything will be fine” she reassured. “They’re all waiting for you!” Susan giggled nervously, glanced over her shoulder to her siblings in desperation. Peter shot her a kind smile, motioning for the others to follow suit. This was a family affair, after all, and even if it wasn’t, it was their job as siblings to support one another. As they reached the makeshift stage in front of the building, Susan paused to collect herself. She smoothed her skirts, perfected her hair, dabbed some color on her lips, sucked in a deep breath, and then nodded to Mrs. Beaver to alert that she was ready. Mr. Beaver announced her and motioned for her to step forward, and it was as if all the panic had melted away. Susan held herself gracefully and confidently, stepping to the middle of the stage with parchment in hand. Her siblings couldn’t help but smile as they watched her and followed to stand nearby.

               The gentle gazed out to all the faces in the crowd staring back at her and swallowed hard. She could not let them see her panic. They needed to understand she was a poised and proper queen, one avid in public speaking and social affairs. She felt as if she was a child in school again giving a presentation on the history of Marie Antoinette or the colonization of the Americas. This, however, was nothing like a school presentation. These were not her peers but her equals, those in high positions of power who would not grade her for accuracy but judge her silently and create their own perceptions of her country based on the way she carried herself. This was, perhaps, the one part of being a queen that she hated more than anything.

               There was no backing down now, though. She had to do what she had to do. Clearing her throat, she glanced down to her parchment and began her speech. “Ladies and gentleman from far and wide, I want to begin by thanking you all for being here today. I know it means as much to me as it does to my brothers and sister that you were able to be in attendance” she began. Vacant eyes stared back at her, making her question her form and diction. She continued regardless. “A year and a half ago, my siblings and I were appointed kings and queens of this lovely country and have since wanted nothing more than to provide it with everything it may need now and in the coming years. We love our country more than anything. We’re proud of our country. It is not without its flaws, however. One such flaw I saw across all regions, however, was that of wayward children. Our nation is comprised mainly of Intelligent Beasts, and in a land of such wonderful creatures, there is bound to be strife and turmoil at some point in their lives. Many of these Beasts, especially during the reign of the White Witch, Jadis, were senselessly killed for reasons beyond comprehension, thus leaving their children to fend for themselves. Children unable to take care of themselves and live on their own. Hence why I decided that the best course of action would be to build a safe place for them, somewhere they can be provided a warm bed and food and drink and a sense of companionship and safety. I have poured my heart and soul into this orphanage in order to ensure it will provide everything necessary for the proper development of wayward children now and into the future. My siblings can account for the many nights my comrades and I have spent planning, designing, and constructing such a place. I am overwhelmed with joy to see it finally completed, and hope it will welcome those in need with warmth and love and comfort.” She glanced around at the crowd once again, searching for a sign of pride or happiness in their faces. After a few moments, a wave of clapping erupted among them and Susan’s fears began to subside. She looked to her older brother, signaling it was time. He nodded and stepped forward, unsheathing his sword and handing it to her. It was heavy in her hands, a weapon she was not used to, but she wielded it decently enough. “And so, without further ado, our Narnian orphanage is officially open!” she announced, then sliced through the ribbon with the blade. Another roar of clapping erupted, and Susan’s eyes fell on a proudly grinning Ginevra. The blonde gave the gentle a brief motion of happiness and pride, something Narnian in nature that equated to a thumbs-up in London. And then her eyes locked with Peter’s for the first time since she had arrived and he felt his heart race in his chest. He averted his eyes quickly, and her face fell slightly. Peter quickly sheathed his sword and regained composure so that nobody would know that inside his head, all he heard was inconsolable screaming.

               All of the guests congratulated Susan and enthused of how wonderful a job she did, how beautiful an orphanage it was, and how kind and generous an act this was. Surely the Narnian children would take to it as if it was their own home. Even the Narnians themselves thanked her for creating such a fine establishment, finding relief in knowing that there was someplace for their children to go should something ever happen to them.

               As evening set in, everyone returned to Cair Paravel for a grand reception. A band of fauns played roaring, raucous music for all the guests to jig and leap to, and there were long tables filled with the most delicious food. Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy sat at a grand table overlooking the whole of the garden and all of their guests. A wistful smile touched the now-tranquil Susan’s lips as she took another sip of her wine. “I suppose this was a rather successful event, after all” she commented. Lucy grinned and nodded.

               “Everyone loved it! And you did incredible!” the valiant enthused. She really was genuinely proud of her sister. Despite her panic earlier in the day, she presented herself with such confidence and poise that it was worth congratulations. Peter and Edmund nodded in agreement. They, too, were wildly proud of their sister, so happy to see the praise she had received for all of her hard work. Before Edmund could say anymore, however, Nefyn galloped over and tugged him onto the dancefloor despite his protests that he didn’t dance.

               “Why don’t you go out and find yourself a partner, as well?” Susan commented, nudging Peter on the arm. A sly smile touched her lips, one that made Peter mildly uncomfortable.

               “Me?” he asked, feigning stupidity. “I don’t think so, Su. I’m really not in the mood for—”

               “Oh, come on, Peter” Lucy chimed in. “I’m sure there’s plenty of young women out there dying to dance with the High King himself!”

               Peter shook his head nervously, turning to gaze out at the crowd twirling among one another like the choppy sea. His eyes, of course, immediately landed upon Ginevra. She swayed her hips to the music as she stood at the edge of the crowd, a glass of wine in hand. It was the perfect opportunity to approach her, but he wasn’t sure he had it in him. He didn’t want to stir the pot or involve himself in things he was nowhere near ready for yet. Worst case scenario she learned nothing of his argument with her and would yet again try to shove her breasts in his face and persuade him to love her. He still wasn’t ready to handle such a thing yet. He sat there hesitating for the next fifteen minutes, nervously watching her in his periphery, but then he caught her shift, turn, her eyes landing upon a most curious fixture: the statues of the Alexandre family. That was when he knew he needed to speak with her.

               He sidled up behind her and awkwardly cleared his throat, then said, “Enjoying yourself?”

               Ginevra gasped, snapping out of a trance, her cheeks burning red. “Oh! Oh, yes, of course darling. It’s an adorable little reception. Those fauns are especially cute!”

               “They have a wonderful ear for music” Peter commented. After a beat of silence, he then said, “I’m surprised you’re not dancing with everyone else.”

               “Well, you see, nobody asked me” Ginevra replied. If Peter hadn’t caught a slight undertone of anxiety in her own voice, he would’ve presumed she had, in fact, learned nothing. However, she said this so casually he couldn’t find an ounce of malicious intent in it. She was simply stating a fact. She turned her gaze back to the statues and added, “Besides, I’ve grown rather curious as to who these are.”

               Peter swallowed back the lump in his throat. “This is a monument to the Alexandre family, the last royal family before the White Witch invaded the country” he explained. He could feel his voice beginning to breaking in his throat, but fought to control his tone. “They were very important to my lost love, and so my siblings and I decided to erect this monument to them out of respect.”

               “You did all of this for her?” Ginevra asked. Peter nodded, unsure of whether she was jealous or impressed. “This love of yours must have been very special to you, you must have cared about her very much” she said quietly, swirling her wine around in her glass.

               The magnificent’s heart ached. “I do” he replied. He locked his eyes on the statues of her parents, her sisters. He prayed that she was here with him, beside him, in this garden celebrating with everyone else. After a few moments, Ginevra’s voice snapped him back to reality.

               “It’s funny” she said with a quiet giggle.

               “What is?” Peter asked.

               “All the things you have told me about this love of yours remind me so much of the stories I’ve heard of the lost Princess Eilonwy, the youngest daughter of the Alexandres” she said, then added, “Perhaps made even funnier by the fact that she must be the one daughter missing from the group here.”

               The minute her name spilled from Ginevra’s mouth, a sense of discomfort filled Peter’s body. He didn’t like the way she said it—Eilonwy’s name. He didn’t like the way it rolled off her lips with that accent of hers. And he definitely did not like the implication that she was lost regardless of how true it was. “What do you know about her?” he asked, curiosity taking precedence.

               “Well, legend has it that she survived the massacre that fateful night because rumors swirled that the body was never recovered. I don’t know much else about her, however, except that she was the black sheep of the family. As far as I can tell, far and wide the other nobles would joke about her behind her back for being so brash and impolite, saying they were grateful she was merely a spare rather than heir to the throne. After all, a princess has no place on battlefields. Shooting arrows and swinging swords—it’s terrible! So barbaric and disgusting, I could never…” Ginevra explained, scrunching up her face as she spoke about Eilonwy. Peter’s heart ached: here she was vilifying everything that Peter loved most about his lover. He found nothing barbaric or disgusting about it—had it not been for her expertise, he may never have felt fully prepared for the Battle of Beruna.

               “You seem to know more than you think you do” Peter replied. “Where did you learn all of this, anyway?”

               “My tutor taught me” she replied with a dismissive wave of her hand. “We’re kind of required to know the history of these lands, you know. After all, Narnia is a rather large and influential land, darling! We ought to have some understanding of its backstory.”

               “What else do you know about the Alexandre family?” he asked. He was genuinely curious. To tell the truth, he hadn’t learned much about Narnia’s history beyond its creation and its downfall when Jadis usurped the throne. Everything else was rather blurry and rushed.

               “You act like you don’t know the history of your own country!” Ginevra exclaimed. “What a terrible king you are” she added in jest, slapping him lightly on the shoulder. He could tell she was easing her way into flirtation but he decided not to stop her. So far, it wasn’t worth making a fuss about. He would wait until things escalated, if they did at all, and then bring up the inappropriateness of the action.

               “How do you know I don’t know? Maybe I’m just testing your knowledge” he replied.

               “Well, darling, I’m assuming if you did know then you’d be aware of our nations’ longstanding conflict” Ginevra replied. When Peter seemed uneducated on the matter, Ginevra took it upon herself to explain in great depth. “King Lorr, the last reigning king, had a younger brother named Solomon. The two of them didn’t get along very well, and Lorr banished Solomon under false pretenses. They disagreed on how they believed the country ought to be ruled. Solomon had wonderful ideas for bettering Narnia, but Lorr wanted nothing to do with them. I suppose he thought they were rather immoral or something, though I can’t possibly see why. Anyway, Lorr banished his own brother to the Isle of Sparrow, which at that time was kept as Narnia’s federal prison, but the ship veered off course and instead landed on an otherwise uninhabited island full of savages. Nothing but violent beasts with no sense of morality or modesty. This would’ve been a rather terrible fate had Solomon not been a wildly clever man and a bit of an opportunist, at that. He saw this as a chance to create his own nation based on his own ideals and values. He claimed the island for himself, naming himself duke as he felt as if that was a far more respectable title than king. After all, all the kings he had known up until this point were rather cruel to him, his father included—he thought Lorr was the far better son, and treated him as such because he was the heir. Solomon reformed the island by putting the natives to work and built a mansion atop a hill for himself, then invaded the Isle of Sparrow to release all of the prisoners who were wrongly accused to bring to his own nation. Among them was a woman named Catherine who was imprisoned for murder though there was never any proof of her crimes. Solomon married Catherine and together they ruled their country and brought numerous children into the world who carried on their legacy and continued to build upon Solomon’s empire, which thrived considerably when Narnia went under. Many of the humans in your land never believed Solomon would amount to anything, but when Jadis usurped the throne, they all fled to Brenn in hopes of seeking forgiveness and finding safety. Solomon was never a cruel man like his brother and father, so of course he accepted them with open arms. And thus was the beginning of what we know today as my lovely little island of Brenn!”

               Peter listened intently as Ginevra relayed this history to him, trying to make sense of it all. From what he had heard of King Lorr until now, he had never gotten any impression whatsoever that he was an inherently bad man. Eilonwy had undoubtedly been upset with him for not letting her join him in battle, but they both understood now it was simply a matter of keeping her safe. This, however, was far more sinister than anything he had heard of the man and Peter began to doubt its truth. How did he know Ginevra was not lying? How did he know she was not offering a biased account of the history? But then again, the more he thought about it the more he realized perhaps Eilonwy’s account was biased, as well. After all, Lorr was her father. She loved him dearly. He couldn’t imagine her saying anything bad about the man, especially in death. Ginevra, on the other hand, had no real personal connection with him and therefore she had no predisposed notions on him other than what she had heard in history lectures.

               “As you can certainly believe” Ginevra went on, “I don’t very much care for King Lorr. I don’t believe he was a very brilliant ruler. He may have never caused Narnia any huge problems, but as a man I don’t hold much respect for him. If you ask me, I think he could’ve stood to be a little more open-minded to my great-great-grandfather’s ideas. He had wonderful ideas, but Lorr wouldn’t hear a word of it. He was far too rash and vicious. He lacked compassion and surely acted on impulse. Who banishes their own brother like that? Could you ever imagine doing such a thing?”

               And truthfully, Peter couldn’t. No matter what transgressions Edmund may commit, he could never imagine banishing him for them. He cared about his brother far too much. His brief stint with the White Witch was proof enough of that. “I’m sorry to hear of all this” Peter finally spoke. “I had no idea our two nations had been at wit’s end with one another over something so trivial and petty.”

               “It’s not your fault, darling. You had no clue” Ginevra replied, resting a hand on his upper arm. “As terrible as it all is, you know, I’m really rather grateful for what Lorr had done. If not for exiling his brother, Solomon never would’ve founded Brenn and made it what it is today: a truly prosperous nation that values trade and a time-tested caste system where everyone belongs someplace. Everyone has a purpose. It’s a rich, beautiful land that truly showcases that anyone can rise to greatness through adversity! Hence our national motto: grandez à travers le sol atteindre le soleil.”

               “What does that mean?” Peter asked.

               “Directly translated, it means ‘grow through the ground to reach the sun’, but it’s more of a metaphor for our resilience” Ginevra explained with a light giggle. Peter nodded, turning the phrase over in his mind. Truly, it was a beautiful statement. He had no idea how much adversity her nation had faced due to his own, but with that knowledge he had a greater amount of respect for Brenn than ever before. He always did appreciate an underdog.

               “I like that” Peter replied. Then, after a few moments, he added, “I am genuinely sorry for what’s happened in the past between our nations, though. If I were king then, I would’ve never allowed such a travesty.”

               A soft smile graced Ginevra’s pink, glossy lips. “That’s quite alright, darling. Like I said, things worked out alright in the end. I know many people in Brenn still hold much contempt toward Narnia, but I hope someday our two countries can mend those bonds that had been broken so many years ago. It’s time we sought compassion and forgiveness in this world.”

               Peter nodded, a small smile beginning to spread across his own lips. He gazed back up at the statues of the old monarchs with a new perspective. King Lorr looked different to him now. For so long he had considered the man to be infallible and their death untimely, but Ginevra added a whole new layer to his understanding of these people. Perhaps they weren’t as perfect as he had always believed them to be. Perhaps they really weren’t worthy of so much praise. His stomach churned at the thought of having made a mistake in honoring them in this way. He wanted to be a good king, and if King Lorr was not a prime example then what did that say about him, erecting statues of him and his family? He thought about the guests drinking and dancing not too far off and wondered if they had noticed the statues, too. Did they all think Lorr was as terrible as Ginevra made him out to be, or was she just exaggerating? And if their thoughts did align with hers, then what message did that send to them about he and his siblings? His mind swirled with thought after thought, growing dizzy with contemplation. There was only one thing he knew for certain right now. Turning back to Ginevra, he nodded and replied, “One hundred years is long enough. I think its time we gave each other another chance to forgive and fix the past.”

               Ginevra smiled up at him, his hair a golden halo in the setting sunlight, and it was then that she knew as well as he did that this was the dawn of a new era, one in which their two nations would amend the transgressions of the past and forge a path together.

[imperceptibility]

清和 (Qinghe) -- by 来自远方 (Lai Zi Yuan Fang) -- ch. 4

~

Author → here

JJWXC → here

Disclaimer & summary → here

Translated by me

Index of characters → here

⯇ Chapter 3

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Meng Guangxiao fainted at Qinghe’s house, his life not in danger but his unconsciousness persistent.

At dusk, his two sons finally came knocking. With Ming Qinghai at the front and Meng Qingjiang behind him, both brothers’ faces were full of anxiety when they saw their father unconscious. Meng Qinghai could still control himself, leaning down to examine his father’s condition (though his expression shifted subtly in an instant when he did so). Meng Qingjiang was more simple-minded. With wide glaring eyes, he swung his fist, intending to beat Qinghe’s face in.

Meng Qingjiang had incredible strength. His fist, formed from a hand habituated to farm work, flew through the air. Qinghe could feel the whoosh of air as it passed by his nose, a hair’s width away.

Qinghe was in the middle of offering his ‘apologies’ and sincerely reflecting upon his ‘mistakes’. Unexpectedly, a fist came right for his face so he hurriedly backed up two steps. Although he had no intentions of pursuing the imperial examinations, he still had to protect his face. With this era’s level of medical care, it was no small matter to have his nose bridge broken. Tetanus and all that aside, what was he going to do with a crooked nose? Even if he were not looking to shack up with a wife, he could not become disfigured.

“Silang[1],” Meng Qinghai called out in a low voice, “Cease this at once!”

“Dage[2]!”

Meng Qingjiang’s eyes were red. Since he was young, he did not like to study and he was not as smart, instead obeying all the instructions of his father and older brother. Now that Meng Qinghai had told him to stop, no matter how unwilling, he lowered his fist.

Qinghe had the look of someone who had been wronged but could not argue back. There was even a touch of stubbornness to his expression. Putting the unconscious Meng Guangxiao aside, without knowing what happened, any bystander would probably think Meng Qinghai and his brother were bullying Qinghe.

Meng Qingjiang grew even angrier. Meng Qinghai also pressed his lips tightly together. Qinghe was still immersed in ‘feeling wronged’ by them, but in his mind, he had other machinations.

According his impressions, Meng Qingjiang had a one-track mind. The way he spoke and acted was completely different from his older brother and father. To put it nicely, he was frank and hot-headed; to put it not so nicely, he was missing a screw or three.

The only good thing about him was that he was nice to look at.

Tall, muscular all over, with strong defined facial features and a clear and resonant voice. This sort of stature and appearance had Qinghe envious. If he had been (re)born into this body, he would not need to miss his 21st century six-pack.

But alas, the heavens liked playing with people. There were no absolutes. One could not have everything to one’s liking.

Comparing Meng silang’s body and Meng shi’erlang’s brain, he would still rather choose the latter.

Unlike Meng Qingjiang, Meng Qinghai had the gentle looks of an intellectual.

Medium build, dressed in rushan, not a hair out of place. He had upright features and clear eyes, giving off a scholarly aura with his actions. If Qinghe did not have the memories in his head, he would have had a pretty good impression of Meng Qinghai.

Too bad there were no ifs.

“Shi’erlang, why is my father like this?” Meng Qinghai looked at Qinghe and his face full of innocence. “If you cannot give me a satisfactory explanation, then I will have to ask the village head and the elders to judge this.”

The Ming Dynasty placed great value on the teachings of the Six Lun[3], the first and foremost of value, ‘being filial to one’s parents and respectful to one’s elders’. Not being filial and respectful was often looked upon as disgraceful.

Meng Guangxiao was Qinghe’s tangbo. On top of that, Meng Guangxiao was the head of the clan. Should the accusation of Qinghe being disrespectful to his elder stick, the best case scenario would be him getting reprimanded. The worst, he would be dragged to the ancestral hall and receive a caning. Should that happen, the rumors of Meng Guangxiao abusing his authority to bully Qinghe and Qinge being pushed into a dead end would be nothing in comparison.

In the past, Meng Qinghai would not have been so direct. However, the exams were coming up and gossip was still swirling at school. He might not be as calm and composed as he was appearing to be.

So what if he had the favor of an assistant teacher? Scholars placed heavy value on reputations. As soon as one’s reputation was stained, even if it were the fault of a family member, there was no way of ever washing the stain away.

Qinghe did not speak. Meng Qinghai was about to press again when Meng-Wang-shi suddenly walked out from the inner room, sobbing aloud before she even got close.

“Dalang, do not blame my son! What great misfortunes have befallen him!”

Meng Guangxiao was Qinghe’s elder. Likewise, Meng-Wang-shi was Meng Qinghai and Meng Qingjiang’s elder. She was also a widow. With her present, Meng Qinghai could not continue with his interrogation.

Meng-Wang-shi repeatedly spoke of their misfortunes and her dead husband, peppering those laments with mentions of her two dead sons. Her two daughters-in-law, who were trying to console her, also hid their faces and cried.

They filled the house with the sound of weeping. No passerby could hear it without casting a sidelong glance.

As it turned out, the only one with any medical knowledge in the Meng Village, Meng Chongjiu, was invited over by Meng jiulang’s oldest daughter and just happened to catch sight of this scene.

Looking at Meng Guangxiao, who was lying down, and then looking at Meng-Wang-shi and her daughters-in-law, who were crying their hearts out, he almost came to the conclusion that following Meng laoliu, Meng laoda’s[4] family was going to need a funeral soon too.

“What has happened?”

“Jiushugong.”

Qinghe, Qinghai, and Qingjiang greeted the man together. Qinghe was dressed in hemp, his face wan. Before Meng Qinghai and Meng Qingjiang could open their mouths, he said: “Jiushugong, it is all my fault.”

“Oh?”

While he placed his fingers upon Meng Guangxiao’s wrist, he looked at the three young men standing in the room.

“Datangbo does not want me to enlist. His intentions are good and I am grateful, but there is no way I can obey him! The murders of my father and brothers are unforgivable; how can I not avenge them? My words were rather impassioned, and so...” As he spoke, Qinghe’s eyes moistened. “Shugong, if something were to happen to datangbo, I will take the punishment!”

On the surface, there was nothing wrong with this statement. Indeed, it would inspire in others admiration for his sincerity.

But when one thought about it more carefully, that was not the case at all.

Meng Guangxiao had collapsed from a momentary flare of rage. Qinghe’s words, however, seemed to imply that he was going to kick the bucket soon. Was this not Qinghe’s way of cursing him to die?

Meng Qingjiang remained unaware but Meng Qinghai’s expression became strained. However, with Meng Chongjiu and Meng-Wang-shi present, he could not let out his anger.

Perhaps managing to understand the implications of her son’s words, Meng-Wang-shi’s weeping suddenly grew in volume. Seeing her wracked with sobs, her two daughters-in-law joined in, one louder than the next. Even if they did not understand the reasoning, just seeing Meng Qinghai’s worsening expression alone was worth it!

They had finally seen through to the true colors of the Meng clan members.

The Meng clan head?

Pah!

Their relatives?

Pah again.

Meng dalang, who was studious?

Pah once more.

After spitting in contempt, let them continue weeping.

After all, they were widows. What did it matter if they wept some more?

Meng Chongjiu let go of Meng Guangxiao’s wrist and pressed down hard on his philtrum. Seeing that Meng Guangxiao flared his nostrils but kept his eyes tightly closed and remained ‘unconscious’, he knew what was going on.

In the twenty-seventh year of Hongwu, the Emperor established the elder system. All the nominated elders were virtuous, full of knowledge, and well-respected individuals. Not only did their responsibilities encompass supervising and guiding the local agriculture and spreading the teachings of the Six Lun, they also had slight judicial powers to deal with some of the disputes that arose in their villages.

As such an elder, Meng Chongjiu’s knowledge and conduct were, naturally, different. He knew of all that was happening within the Meng clan. He knew of Meng Guangxiao, Meng Guangshun, and the rest scheming to take Meng Guangzhi’s family properties. However, due to various reasons, he had not stepped in.

Meng Guangzhi’s branch of the family had gone into decline. Shi’erlang did not appear capable of heading up the household. As such, it was not necessarily a good thing for him to be holding onto all this coveted farmland.

However, Meng Chongjiu did not anticipate that Meng Guangxiao would go to such extreme ends, forcing shi’erlang to turn to the military. His trip to shi’erlang’s home today had also changed his thinking.

Meng Guangzhi’s branch of the family might not actually be on the decline. And Meng Qinghai might not be actually destined for achievement.

Compared to his three panicked sons, Meng Chongjiu was not all that anxious about Qinghe’s plan for enlistment. With regards to blood relations, his own branch of the family was sufficiently removed from Qinghe’s. So long as Meng Guangxiao and the rest’s families still had men, his own sons and grandsons would not be drafted into the military to replace Qinghe.

Meng Chongjiu was over the age of seventy and had lived through the tumultuous period of war that closed the curtains on the Yuan Dynasty. He had made it through the toughest of days. As such, his heart was harder than others and his wisdom also greater.

Shi’erlang had yet to reach the age of twenty and was already so thoughtful and fierce. Once he latched onto an opportunity, who was to say he would not accomplish great things?

“Jiushugong?”

Qinghe was afraid of neither Meng Guangxiao nor the Meng Qinghai brothers. In his eyes, it would be a piece of cake to bury these three. Facing Meng Chongjiu, however, his heart lurched.

‘Meng Qinghe’ had met Meng Chongjiu before, but his memory of the man did not hold a candle to his impression of him now.

It was as if this elder had seen right through him and his thoughts.

In an instant, Qinghe could feel the hairs on his nape rise. He trusted his instinct, and because he did so, his expression turned more solemn than ever.

One should not underestimate anyone, especially before one could be sure whether that person was a friend or a foe.

Meng Chongjiu rose to his feet and wiped his hands, not calling out Meng Guangxiao’s pretense of fainting. He simply told Meng Qinghai and Meng Qingjiang that their father was fine and just needed to go home and sleep it off. Sure, Meng Guangxiao was pretending to be unconscious, but he did show signs of having been enraged[6]. As to what stoked his fire, Meng Chongjiu could guess without asking.

Shi’erlang really was not a simple one.

Dalang was also smart, but he was still lacking compared to Qinghe.

Meng Qinghai was unsatistifed and wanted to say something more, but Meng Qingjiang was in a hurry to take their father home. “This is not the time right now. We will take care of that little mutt later on!”

With that, Meng Qingjiang lifted Meng Guangxiao on his back and left.

Full of filial piety, he had no awareness that he had just ruined his brother’s ‘big business’. Neither did he realize that his father’s hands, which rested on his shoulders, suddenly had strength in them again.

Looking at Meng Qingjiang in his hurry and Meng Qinghai in his frustrated ire, Qinghe had to remind himself that he could not laugh, that he absolutely must not laugh.

“Shi’erlang.”

With a slight cough, Qinghe turned around. An unperturbed expression on his face, he cupped his hands in the gesture of respect and bowed. “Jiushugong, thank you for your troubles today.”

His household was still in mourning. Asking another person over at this time was naturally rather taboo. By having Meng Chongjiu visit today, Qinghe originally had other plans, but after seeing the man, he threw his plans out the window. It would not be wise to try to be smart in front of this old man. Better to be more careful.

Qinghe was confident but not arrogant, cautious but not cowardly. This was the basis of his success.

“Shi’erlang,” Meng Chongjiu stopped by the door, his beard blowing in the wind. “You want to enlist in the military?”

“Yes I do.”

“Mm,” Meng Chongjiu nodded, “I am on familiar terms with the county registrar[7] so perhaps I can be of help.”

“I would be grateful for that, jiushugong!”

“Not so fast.” Meng Chongjiu lifted a hand. “In exchange for helping you, I need you to agree to one thing.”

Qinghe raised his head, neither agreeing nor refusing right away. He simply gazed at Meng Chongjiu respectfully.

“Please tell me what it is.”

“No hurry. Once things are set, I will tell you.” Meng Chongjiu suddenly changed his serious expression. “Do not fret. I will not ask something impossible of you.”

“Alright.” Qinghe agreed readily this time. It was easy to get things done when you had connections in the local government office. If Meng Chongjiu could smooth the way for him, then why not?

Morever, him enlisting was bad news for not only Meng Guangxiao but pretty much everyone with the surname Meng. It might not be as serious as being surrounded by enemies on all sides, but from now on, he was bound to have poor relations with his fellow clan members. If he could get an ‘ally’ to take some of the heat off his back, that was hardly a bad thing.

Even if Meng Chongjiu was going to put him in a hard spot, he could always find a way to deal with it when the time came.

A hero can be defeated by a penny, that much was true, but Qinghe had never thought of himself as a hero.

Without copper money, he still had paper money, right?

The eyes of the old man and the young boy met. Both of their mouths split into a grin. It was as if both had a fox’s tail wagging behind them.

The next day, Meng Chongjiu got out his ox-pulled cart and headed for the county town. As he drew near the town gate, a team of cavalrymen flew past him.

Vermilion mandarin duck battle coats[8], long swords in black sheaths, bows and arrows that glinted coldly. Each rider held the reins with one hand and raised the whip in the other. In the wake of their horses’ hooves, there was only  a cloud of dust.

The person at the front was dressed in the deep blue uniform of a military official. With such a brief glance, it was impossible to make out his features, but his soldierly aura was sharp as a blade.

Meng Chongjiu hurriedly moved his ox cart to the side of the road. Only after the dust lifted by the galloping horses settled once again did he let his breath out. He thought to himself: such a heavy aura of viciousness! 

~

Chapter 5 tbc

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T/N:

[1] This refers to Meng Qingjiang, who is the fourth oldest male in his generation. (Brief reminder: Qinghai = 1, Qinghai’s younger brother Qingjiang = 4, Qinghe’s oldest brother = 8, Qinghe’s second oldest brother = 9, Qinghe = 12.)

[2] Literally: oldest brother.

[3] Confucian teachings had five lun, or five ‘relationships’: between ruler and subject, father and son, husband and wife, brothers, and friends. The sixth lun is the relationship between oneself and strangers/the rest of society.

[4] This works along the lines of Meng laoliu (six) and Wang laosan (three), as seen in the last chapter. Da means big/oldest, so the Meng laoda here refers to Meng Guangxiao, who is the oldest in his generation.

[5] Shugong is a great-uncle. Jiu (nine) refers to the fact that Meng Chongjiu is the ninth oldest of his generation.

[6] The description of qi huo gong xin relates to traditional Chinese medicine. Basically anger increases the heart rate, can cause shortness of breath and fainting.

[7] I’m not sure what the official translation for this administrative job (zhubu) is.

[8] This was part of the uniform during the Ming Dynasty. It was a bright red cotton-padded knee-length robe with narrow sleeves and called “mandarin duck battle coat”.