#stupid tag letter count cut off stopping me from listing them all but my loves … always … until the darkness claims us… and even then���

[acourtofquestions]

Chapter 89

I just finished Chapter 89

[lilyrachelcassidy]

Birthday Cake

A/N: Suprise folks!!! *me laughing maniacally* The whole scenery for this fic somehow appeared in my head and I just COULDN’T let it slip away, so... My biggest inspo for that was @drawlfoy!! Remember her posting the fic where Draco and Reader work at McDonald’s and are total suckers in their job (arguing with the customers; preparing wrong orders; etc.)? Dee unfortunately, deleted this precious, but it’s stuck to my head ever since (lol lol, it’s the moment where Dee wants to get rid of something, but I kindly remind everyone it existed). Therefore I present to you the next Draco x Reader fic related to our fav fast-food rest. This time, however, they’re not working at the same workplace but... I'm going to stop here cuz I don't want to spoiler :P

**The second thing that triggered me to write this fic is the YouTube video I recently saw with a lady who orders the 'specials' appearing to be out of the menu list of McDonald’s, through the Drive-Through. She asked for a birthday cake, was laughed at a few times, but eventually got what she wanted. Applause for the attitude!!

About the fic (context, my bitches): ofc it’s the modern AU, non-magical world. Draco’s the worst boyfriend ever but always manages to turn things into their righteous place. 

Summary: The birthday is upcoming, and Draco is in a rush to think up an idea for a perfect gift. His ingenuity fails, however, and leaves Y/N very unsatisfied with a disaster that has been forged. 

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: my brain playing a total psycho, language, alcohol, sexual undertones/allusions to sex, Pansy being too much of her self... deal...

Tags: @drawlfoy @eltanin-malfoy

Such an unrestrained desire to strangle somebody you hadn't felt in a long time.

Really.

Today was your birthday, which you had been widely announcing for almost a whole month to people you might have accidentally forgotten about it. Having your boyfriend, Draco, on your mind in particular.

You doubted he would have the guts to omit your big day, though as repeatedly as he had done for a few years back. But something between foresight and the second sense of prevention told you to keep reminding him every day of the upcoming event, with a heap of birthday-themed emojis and uppercases in the messages.

Everything was planned out in your head: him picking you up from your house with the sharp-red cabriolet that he used only for special occasions; him driving the two of you to the fanciest restaurant he could find in town; him bestowing you with a nice-looking, golden necklace or a different piece of jewelry you had been suggestively pointing out in the store's exhibition; him booking up a hotel room for you two to celebrate.

Either way, that was much beyond your expectations, as it turned out. And now you were sitting in the front yard of your house, waiting for him to show up.

'If he was going to at all.' This thought invaded your mind for the last hour, try as might to subdue it. An hour you had been sitting tight, hoping it was only a delay caused by a traffic jam or other irrational explanation he could come up with. But you were deceiving yourself, you eventually presumed -- you had been checking up your phone every one minute, only to see if any message notification popped up on the screen, other than birthday wishes from friends who actually cared for you.

2.02pm: Nothing.

2.03pm: Susan 'Happy birthday bitch!'

2.04pm: Instagram notif. (Someone liked your photo, which you had posted before leaving your room, posing in front of the mirror in the best cocktail dress you could find in the wardrobe.)

2.05pm: Nothing yet again.

2.06pm: Still... Peace and quiet.

"Fuck it...Enough," you muttered under your breath, an annoying disillusionment falling like a heavy mile stone on your chest. Tears suddenly started sprinkling in your eyes at the regret, and you were very reluctant to admit that your friends were right -- Draco Malfoy was an egoistic, negligent, self-absorbed pri--

"Hi." You heard the raspy, panting voice says. "Sorry for the delay."

You blinked slowly, stupidly. You raised your head to assure yourself it was him. That his expression actually corresponded to his words and showed some kind of remorse for standing you up. But no... There he was: standing in front of you, plainly confident and unashamed, with his cocky smirk provoking you to slap him.

Oh, how much you craved to slap him right now. "Where to the fuck have you been?"

"I've tried to pick this up," he explained, simultaneously lifting up the paper bag he'd been carrying in his hand. The big, exclaiming letters 'McDonald's' with the brand's logo were printed on its exterior, and it was fully stuffed with something inside.

Not quite comprehending, you furrowed. You attempted to hide the venom in your voice, but somehow it found its way to leak out. "Couldn't you do that in advance?"

"Nope..." It was his turn to furrow, looking almost shocked with the question. And thanks to all those years of your relationship, you knew it was his piss-poor estimation of time taking over. "It was a last-minute surprise."

"Sounds like it," you commented irritably. "What's that?"

"Your birthday present, sunshine," he drawled happily, ignoring your remark. He sounded positively delighted and satisfied with himself at surprising you with that because he saw a slight crease of shock painting on your forehead. "Here you go."

You took his deposit out of his grasp, still quite unsure. What if his gift would only make a situation worse? Can it get any worse with Draco's total lack of tact? Yes. But it was only one way to find out.

Without even stealing a second glance at him, you ripped off all of the packaging that had been folded around, protecting the contents. You tried to do it carefully and without any impact of emotions revealing the way you felt inside, but your hands were shaking with rage, and you couldn't quite contain yourself. You had been highly aware you shouldn't have expected much from him, but still...

You wondered if the universe was playing against you.

There was a moment of tense silence as you struggled to deal with all the wrappings. Rather unfortunately, you wished you hadn't put so much effort in opening your so-called 'gift' because as you finally did, it only angered you more, seeing as the disappointment laughs at your face. And yes, as a matter of fact, the universe was against you today...

"Are you kidding me?" you asked in disbelief, fury reappearing in your eyes. "A birthday cake?! From McDonald's?" Ugly, little cake with the creepiest smiley face of a clown. It wasn't even fresh, you realized, when you smelled it and felt a musty reek of a freezer, it probably had been kept in. A confusing sense of sadness in your chest couldn't reach any higher at this point.

"Don't you like it?" he asked, detecting the wrath in your eyes. At that, you felt the dumbest urge to laugh and never stop. "I thought it'd be something original."

"Oh, I love it," you said sarcastically, a faint voice of hope telling you it was only a very bad joke was still lingering in your head. But it wasn't a joke.

"It's not just--" He struggled to form a coherent sentence. "I've been asking Blaise and Theo about any ideas. I told them, what you had said to me -- 'you didn't want anything fancy.' So we decided it's... something."

"Of course I didn't tell you I want anything, you dolt!" Your voice raised up almost two octaves, and the pulse sped up so fast it entailed a headache along. A neighbor from the opposite garden who was watering the flowers looked at you, startled, and eyes widened your exasperated tone. You didn’t care. "It's how it works: you don't tell other people you expect them to buy something!"

"But I'm your boyfriend. You shouldn't -- er-- feel uncomfortable to tell..."

"Exactly! As my boyfriend, you should have known!"

"Well... I didn't. If that's what's bothering you, we can...we can..."

"Stop." Listening to him and his pathetic excuses was the last thing you were going to do now. "What – why would you even – " You sputtered out, unable to process or express exactly what you were feeling. There was definitely anger and indignation. Curiosity, for another, as to why Draco would even fall for such foolish and ill-considered idea, and -- to the top of it -- hope it would make a good fit. And possibly, the last and most satisfying part, was the wicked impulse to throw the cake directly into his arrogant face, letting him taste his own medicine he had been serving you for years on each failed birthday.

"You know, for once, you could pay more effort and try doing something nice for me," you told him firmly, deflating to calm down your buzzing nerves.

"I've been tr--"

"Do you realize how much it costs me to pretend to be happy when you forget about me? Last year, I organized a big-ass party for your birthday, inviting over all of your friends and buying the best booze I could find to celebrate it properly," you said harshly and pretentiously, as you intended. "The best part is, you didn't even thank me." You stared at him, wringing your hands and expecting to perceive any trope of shame in his eyes. For the first time, you actually did.  

"Listen, about that--" he calmly attempted to cut off your monologue.

"No, you listen..." Did you really want what was upcoming next? Maybe it was about time. "Today, I decided I'm standing up for myself. So, for the last time, get out from my porch."

He bristled, the thunderstruck air hanging around him. "Because of the stupid cake?"

"What?! No! It's just... I feel like you don't give a damn about me anymore." Gulp formed in your throat, and the tears finally left your eyes at the consciousness of what was happening. "I think we both deserve some time."

Your eyes moved to his, and you almost wished you hadn't looked. He was watching you, with pursed lips and a pure mixture of every emotion: anger, sadness, resentment, pretension, dejection. The faintest of his flustered blushes appeared on his cheeks, and you suddenly wished you could hug him. "So you are putting us..." His finger pointed at him and you as if expecting clarification. "...on a break? Is that what it is?"

You were truly torn, to be honest. Becoming single on your birthday was the last wish you had for this day, but you felt a strong sense of adequacy and pride for building up the boundaries of tolerance. Besides, seeing as it was heading nowhere, it was only a matter of time that your relationship came to an end.  

Although, it hurt. A lot. "Yes."

You darted your eyes from him, not wanting to study his reaction in case it caused you to meltdown and jump to his embrace, apologizing endlessly for your words. You loved him. But you didn't regret what you had just said.

Something like a dry chuckle of disbelief escaped out of his mouth. "Is that what you really want?"

'No,' your thoughts prompted you instantly before you could even contemplate. 'I want you to say so many things you're never willing to say. But you don't know.'

So instead, you lied: "Yes."

All expressed, you spun around without peeking back and rushed into your room, already knowing there was no more sense in strives to make this day any better; all of it would bring only bad associations. It would be depressing, even more than it already was.

God, was it how the break-up pained? Because if so, you wanted to be deceased. The world spun suddenly, and you sank to your knees, shaking madly and doing your best to find your way back to your bed, located a few mere meters from you. Part of you felt numb, but your head was wide awake and alarming you that something in terms of a disaster had just happened. Because it did. The clutching in your chest was unbearable, and tears were dashing out of your eyes like a living waterfall, which made you bury your face in your hands. Never have you ever wanted to be so drunk before.

And so many questions rung up in your head at once.

Did you make a good decision? What if you are going to miss him, yet knowing you could never call? What about college -- are things about to get awkward?

No answers.

But you knew someone who would be able to reply to them.

With the blurred by tears vision, you struggled but managed to find your phone in the purse, and then clumsily scrolled through and tapped in your list of contacts before holding the phone to your ear.

Please answer, you begged. Please, please…

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Pansy's voice roared from the other side of a line, as always, enthusiastic.

"Pansy." You tried to sound less brokenly than you were, feeling marginally worse at the reminder of your birthday. "Is Daphne around?"

"Ouch, you're a really nasty bitch sometimes, you know. I'm not goin' to point out today, but since you didn't let me end my wishes, I'll note that for the future reference." You were sure she was grinning at the teasing, seeing as much as she liked that. Normally, you wouldn't mind, but... "How--"

"Pansy, please..." you sobbed out, almost desperate to have someone to consult and share emotions with. Daphne -- contrary to Pansy, who could be very judgy sometimes -- was someone you had especially on mind now. "I need to talk to her."

You heard her sigh; the kind of sigh she used to either prove her resignation or concern. But, as much as it surprised you, she suppressed her curiosity and, without a second word, obediently handed the phone over to Daphne. At least, that's what you assumed because you heard a pause and subdued mutters in the background.

"Y/N?" the milder tone spoke up, and you felt suddenly very strange as if submerged in water of relief; relief to hear the familiar voice. That released you from keeping a distant attitude, and yet again, a sadness washed over you, triggering a loud wail to come out of your mouth. "Y/N, is everything alright?"

"No..." you sniveled, unable to collect yourself together. "I-I... We br-brok-e up."

"You and Draco?" Daphne asked, astonishment evident.

You nodded but then remembered she couldn't see you nor read your expression. So instead, you forced your vocal cords to work again. "Mhm..."

"What happened?"

Restoring the story in your brain again, you told her everything, still tearfully but much more coherently this time. You avoided the details, briefly skipping from one utterance to another, as your conversations had gone, and you were very much thankful she didn't press for more information about the prospect of the situation. If it hadn't been her sporadic gasps or loud inhales of breath, you would have almost presumed she wasn't listening. However, she was, and as soon turned out, Pansy was as well.

"That's bananas!" Pansy shouted somewhere from the back as you had ended, and despite your gloom, you giggled quietly at her comment.

"Shush," Daphne tried to silence her, covering up the fact she had put you on the speaker. You didn't mind because you knew Pansy, who would definitely expect Daphne to cite the whole conversation if needed. But knowing Daphne as well, you could bet she flushed more than she would want to at that point. "So it all started because of the cake?"

"And the delay," you added. "But it's not just about that, obviously. It feels like... he completely stopped caring. And I don't want to be stuck in a relationship where everything is about sex and having fun only. Draco wasn't looking for a commitment, which..."

"Sucks,"ended this time Pansy unhesitatingly, who wasn't now screaming from the other part of a room but openly participating in the discussion.

"Yeah," you agreed.

"As for me, I think he might love you more than you know, Y/N." It was Daphne talking again, and she sounded positively convinced about her view as for someone who had hardly exchanged any word with Draco for the past few years. As if reading your thoughts, she continued. "I've observed you a lot. I know he might seem unemotional, but it's you who discovered him. That must require a lot of trust, you know."

You contemplated, and some of the memories and images from your first encounter run across your brain, try as might to suppress it: spotting each other at the party; binging some whisky shots together; flirty teasing; the very masculine scent of cologne; and then... more spicy recollections -- eager lips pressing against each other; against each others' necks; against other parts of the body; stripping off the clothes in the passionate haste...

Receiving a long moment of silence, Daphne took a second chance and asked. "And what's with you? Do you want to end it?"

It felt like standing before the oracle of truth. Therefore, you couldn't deny it in front of yourself. "No."

"So what're you still doing there?" commented Pansy impatiently, and you could imagine her rolling the eyes. "Get out and find him!"

She was right. You will.

XOXOXOXO

"I thought I'd find you here..."

No. Actually, you didn't. 

You had tracked Draco's phone with your own one with some help of an app that, as the two of you had established still in the relationship, would be a good idea in case of an emergency. That in itself proved to be more than helpful, believing that your argument may be pinned as something in terms of an emergency, right?

So having access to his location, you had found out he was in the park where he had taken you on the first date, shortly after dinner, to watch the sunset that, as he had described, 'was a typical cliche from every romantic movie.'

But you had fallen for that. So much.

You hadn't been aware the place had actually some meaning for him until now, and that... God, that he had even remembered it. Time showed, however, that it indeed did, to which your heart reacted with a happy jolting. But also with a nasty sting of nostalgia following shortly after.

Yet, that only had encouraged you to make up your mind and go looking for him, which hadn't been such a difficult task per se. He was sitting on the bench, in the shade of a tree, and hiding his a little too delicate skin from the sun rays. As soon as he had heard your voice, his gray eyes flew up to see you standing a few meters away.

"What are you doing here?" was the immediate question that tumbled out of his mouth. He arched his eyebrow, and to your surprise, he didn't even look angry or sad with you. Nothing near the edge; actually, almost something like the amusement was painting on his face.

"Aren't you mad with me?" you asked intrigued, completely forgetting about his question.

He frowned. "Why would I be?" His tone was so mild that you weren't sure if he was referring to the double meaning; but then he smirked playfully and said, "Besides, I knew you were coming."

"Wha-- How?" you asked, eyes dilating a fraction, in shock.

He smirked, pointing at his phone in an explanatory manner. After a moment, you finally figured out what he meant: the app must have registered he had been tracked and that your phone was trying to find his. At this notice, you reacted with a wave of flush, suddenly regretting your previous lie. His smile only widened at your expression. "Wanna sit? It's plenty of room here."

"Mhm..." You nodded, pleased to accept his offer, and walked over to the bench, doing your best to hide the evident embarrassment on your face. You felt strange he had taken you with such ease, seeing as merely two or three hours ago, you had burst at him like a cram-full volcano of unspoken emotions.

Draco shifted a package from his side, making more space for you to sit, and it took you a moment to realize it was a McDonald's cake from earlier. Everything started from that -- a stupid, little piece of cake which stood up between...

You shook the thought away, taking a seat next to him, close enough to smell his sandalwood cologne. "You didn't answer my question," Draco reminded you. "What's so important to make you track my phone?"

"I'm sorry, okay?" You rounded your face to him, flustrated, leaning at the backrest of a bench. "That's why I came. I wanted to apologize."

"Oh... Couldn't you call?"

You sighed. "I figured you wouldn't want to talk to me after...you know... our quarrel," you said half-despondent, half-desperate, watching your feet as if it were the most interesting thing to peer at now. "I didn't mean what I said earlier."

"I know," he said. Out of nowhere, he was gently grasping your palms which forced you to look up directly into his intense gaze. His eyes were swirling like molten silver at you. "But I should be apologizing, love. I made a mistake, okay?" His hands traveled all across to your tense shoulders, squeezing them lightly. "I know I should be more... affectionate with you. And this was...dumb. A dumb mistake. With that cake. But I'll try to be better if you give it another shot."

He looked so serious that you instantly believed him. You wanted to actually, with all force of longing, which grew up too rapidly in you when he wasn't around. Draco was a fool, you could easily say. But he was your fool, which was a thing you couldn't be more proud of.

Peeking slowly in the other direction, you asked, out of the topic, "You remembered the place?"

"Of course," he puffed jokingly, smiling. "Our first date. Officially our place from then on."

"Right..." You smiled back.

Honestly, the mere fact that he had called this spot 'yours' warmed up your heart, and you felt yourself grinning at his never-before-discovered emotionality. To assure yourself you weren't the only one caring, it was all you needed to hear.

The whole moment was intense, and now, you realized, is when you should have hugged him. Kissed him. Said something back at his sincere endearment.

But instead, spotting plastic cutlery next to your 'gift', you asked, "So what's the taste of the birthday cake?"  

And you knew he had caught the subtext of your playful inquiry. And you knew that soon you would work things out again. But, as for now...

"I thought you would never ask."

XOXOXOXO

A/N: Looooooool. Such a drama-comedy, right? And I could easily say It feels like 50% Draco-x-Reader / 50% Draco-x-BirthdayCake... But whatever (2am is working like a drunken bud, folks). Happy beginning of August :)

[nephyscorner]

Zoro with a crush who has heartbroken

It was the second day you were on the island. Had stopped to buy supplies and explore the place for some adventure. The day was sunny but with a bit of cool wind, which made it very pleasant. Most of the StrawHats were in the center of the island. Some shopping, others looking for adventure. Except for Zoro, who was on the deck of the ship training and you, walking through a small forest immersed in your thoughts.

Thinking about the next island you would go made you nervous, it wasn't the first time you would be in that place, but rather it was for a person, a boy. You had met him the first time you went and then you both had a long distance relationship, you sent letters and sometimes  spoke through Den Den Mushi. You had the last letter he sent you in your pocket. Still couldn't read it, since you wanted to do it alone and calm, and, with the StrawHats around, it was sometimes difficult. When you made sure that no one could see you or disturb you, you took the letter out of your pocket and opened it with a smile on your face, thinking that you would soon see each other again.

Zoro was lifting weights when he suddenly sees you running towards the boat, he immediately starts counting out loud and acting a bit, so you could notice him and he could show off for you to look at him. Fuck. He was really in love with you, but he didn't know how to approach or what to do. He also didn't dare to  do it seeing how excited you were to receive the letters from a stranger.

You run across in front of him, with your hands covering your face and not noticing his presence. You quickly enter the ship to end up sitting on the floor of the girls' room crying.

T/N-San? - He mutters to himself trying to understand what had happened. Were you crying?

He spends a moment thinking about what to do until he decides to go looking for you.

TOK TOK. He knocked on the door but received no response. He could only hear your slight sobs.

Y/N-San, can I come in? - After a few moments in silence you opened the door and returned to your place on the floor, hugging your knees and hiding your face in your arms.

Oi, oi, what happens? Did that stupid cook try to overdo with you? -You shook your head while you felt him settle next to you.

Did someone hurt you? Are you hurt? He asked, trying to understand what was going on. Just give me a name and I'll cut they up.

It's him ... the boy I met and we spoke by letter - You said in a whisper through tears. I was very excited to see him again, everything seemed to be fine. But suddenly, in the last letter, he only told me that he didn't want to see me, that I shouldn't worry about returning, that he didn't want to know anything more about me and that I don't dare to answer this letter ... - Your voice was shaky and Zoro couldn't be more confused. He couldn't understand how anyone could say that to a person as cute as her, much less did he know how to deal with that situation.

Okay, wait a minute, I'll be right back -Zoro gets up and leaves the room, while you take a blanket and snuggle into it looking for some warmth or the simple sensation of a hug.

Minutes later Zoro returns with a plate of heart-shaped cookies. You looked at him somewhat confused, did he just steal it from Sanji?

I'm not good at these issues -He starts talking as he settles down next to you- But if that chef-of-love is a bit right in his words, eating something sweet will make you feel good ... -Sighs and scratches his nape somewhat nervous. You looked at him a bit confused by his actions but you agreed and had a cookie. Is there ... something else I can do to make you feel better?

Will you hug me? -You looked at him with a grimace waiting for a reject and with tears streaming from your eyes.

Uh Me? -Open his eyes surprised and completely nervous. He takes a few seconds, sighs and puts an arm over your shoulder, pulling you slightly towards him. You settled on his chest and you could feel him wrap his other arm around your waist, gently caressing your back.

Could be ... that I'm not pretty enough? I'm not be enough for him and found another? Or is there someone better than me for him? -Your words came out of your mouth without thinking and each one of them was a stab in Zoro's chest. You put another cookie in your mouth.

Eeeh? Don't be an idiot. Men are stupid. You're a great person and a beautiful girl. You're always happy and you can spread that joy to those around you. Also, your feelings are always pure ... too much sometimes. Whoever lets you go definitely doesn't deserve you and he's an idiot.

He barely finished speaking he quickly covered his mouth with one hand and his eyes widened. He couldn't believe that had blurted out all that so easily. You could feel how he shook. You turned to see him almost without believing what he had told you and could notice him somewhat flushed, it was when a small smile was drawn on your face.

Thank you, Zoro-kun -You murmured and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, which he could only respond with a little babble and averting his gaze away, trying to hide his flushed face from you.

Screams were suddenly heard from the deck.

LUUFYY YOU IDIOT !!! You ate all the love cookies I made for Nami-swan, Robin-chwan and T/N-swan!!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEH?? I don't remember having eaten it

IT HAD TO BE YOU !!! Now how will I show my love to the princesses on this ship? No way, I'll have to bake more. BUT IF YOU EAT IT TOO, I'LL KICK YOU ASS UNTIL YOU RETURN IT!!

Your gazes met again and both let out a small laugh.

Let this be our secret- he said, muttering low and thinking that when you arrive to the next island, he'll punishing that cretin for making you cry.

 ⋙ ════ ⋆★⋆ ════ ⋘

▲ Tag list is open, just ask ▲

A/N: Sorry for my horrible English, it’s not my native language

[starkerintheparker]

starker reclist - canon based fics

Hi Starker fam! To celebrate my 900 followers I decided to finally start posting my humble and very personal reclist. I’ve been planning to do it for a while now but it got way bigger than I anticipated so I decided to split it in 4 parts and will share the first one today. I’ve been around for less than a year and there’s a lot I haven’t read yet so my plan is to update this list as I go. 

Under the cut is part I, solely is dedicated to canon-based fics. I’m a sucker for angst so most of my recs feature guilty!Tony, miscommunication, porn with feels and all that jazz. Hopefully you’ll be able to find something interesting according to your preferences. Oh and don’t forget to leave kudos, comments and spread the love for these authors :) Cheers!

Last updated: 2020/04/18. All new fics added will be marked with ***

• 10 Ways to Woo Your Boo by @darker-soft-starker (NR, 6k, completed)

Summary: By twenty-one Peter Parker had graduated college, scored himself a post-grad job and was a full-fledged member of the Avengers. He had his own apartment, paid his own bills and juggled his time between being a superhero and working enough to cover his rent. So long as Peter was armed with his ID, he was a full-fledged adult in the eyes of the law. Perhaps foolishly, he’d assumed it would make him an adult in the eyes of everybody else too. Keen to be seen as worthy of Tony's heart, Peter enlists the help of his friends and the internet in courting his former mentor.

Review: We all love Ash’s fantastic AUs but this lovely canon-based fic may be one of my favorite works by her. I will never know how she manages the fine balance between angst, humor and romance, I just know it hits me good and takes my breath away. Oblivious!Tony and Peter being a bisexual disaster at wooing, what do you mean this wasn’t in the movies? Sounds canon to me.

• 100-Point Restoration by Destina (T, 8k, completed)

Summary: Tony needs a happiness upgrade; Peter wants Tony. These goals might be compatible. (This story is set roughly five years post-Homecoming).

Review: I just realized this was the first Starker fic I’ve read, and it was back in 2017! I didn’t ship Starker at the time but this author must have done something right because for some reason I couldn’t take my eyes away. This fic is gorgeous. Tony’s voice is amazing, his dynamics with Peter are spot-on and organic - but nothing’s better than watching their feelings unfold, like a soft and warm humming just awaiting for disclosure.

• adult supervision by doveslayer (M, 20k, on hiatus)

Summary: Peter Parker should not keep drunk-dialing Tony Stark after midnight. But more pressingly, Tony Stark should not keep answering. In which Tony tries to convince himself he's doing nothing wrong. warning: underage!Peter tho pretty vanilla imo                                                                                        

Review: My favorite “everything is happening while nothing is happening” fic. Their voices are spot on, the dialogues are clever, and you can almost touch the tension with your fingertips. It’s been a year since the last update but even if this fic never gets finished I promise the read will have been worthy!

• Attached by @paspleurer (E, 7k, completed)

Summary: Tony gets it, he really does. As far as rebounds go, sleeping with your childhood hero isn't half bad. And if what Peter wants is this— just sex, with no strings attached— then Tony will give him this.

Review: Pleurer and Learned Foot have seduced me with the rebound trope. This is a lovely Tony POV with the good old pining + miscommunication combo, plus enthusiastic sex and sweet domesticity. What else could I ask for?

• Covet by RTC anonymous (E, 34k, completed)

Summary: Peter has a new boyfriend. Tony starts drinking again, for unrelated reasons.

Review: I read this fic when I was still warily lurking around the Starker fandom and it blew me away. The sexual tension is so palpable you can almost taste it. There is jealous, guity Tony failing at mentoring and a vulnerable, smitten Peter Parker trying to make sense out of it. RTC anon is a religion.

• Ephemeron by @ramblings-from-elsinore (E)

Summary: "Being around Ned, Peter's reminded how out of place he is. For Ned, the second ever appearance of aliens over Manhattan is the stuff of excited hallway chatter, of where were you when—? Ned’s world wasn’t blown apart and stitched back together. Because Ned doesn’t remember. No one does, except the ones who were there, who fought." AKA, "Tony's relationship with Peter may be unconventional, but they’re unconventional people who have had some pretty fucking unconventional experiences." In which Tony can't stop touching Peter to make sure he's real, and Peter dreams of being in Tony's arms and not disappearing.

Review: I started reading this fic before I joined the fandom and man, what a way to get pulled into this ship. Brace yourself for hardcore guilty!Tony being all over the place plus unhealthy codependency and touch deprivation, all the good things. Reading this is a spiritual experience but fair warning: this is not a happy story, at least not for a long while, so please mind the tags.

• Expiration Date by @learned-foot​ (E, 12k, completed)

Summary: Tony knows exactly what this is. First big breakup, go for a fling with a completely inappropriate person. It’s basically a cliché. He kind of thought Peter was better than that, but apparently being brilliant and one of the bravest people on the face of the planet doesn’t mean he’s immune from being a stupid college student who makes stupid college student mistakes. AKA Tony is sure this is just a fling, and he deals with that about as well as you’d expect.

Review: Ahh my beloved rebound trope and my first rec (out of many) by LF! Between a pining, insecure Tony making all the wrong decisions and a young and confident Peter unwilling to let him go, this fic makes your heart ache in the best ways. Good thing LF only works with happy endings!

• From Thy Bounty by @ibby-writes​ and feyrelay (E, 31k, completed)

Summary: Tony’s eyes are always dark, but now there's almost no iris left. He looks hollowed out. There’s something terribly hungry there, despite the feast they've filled themselves on.

Review: I’ve lost count of how many times I reread this insanely hot and ridiculously well written fic. Besides the A+++ characterization, there is delicious food porn foreplay followed by a breathtaking cat and mouse game that culminates with no less than 13.5k of intense and unapologetic sex with feels, my favorite kind. Enjoy the meal! ;D

***Gift of Choice by tuesday (E, 12k, completed)

Summary: Tony Stark had a thing about giving Peter stuff.

Review: This is my favorite fic by tuesday and the PERFECT rendition of our beloved sugar daddy trope. Great pacing, amazing dialogues and a breathtaking build up that makes you both smile and sweat in anticipation. They’re so in love I almost can’t handle when they finally get together. Sexy, hot and very sweet.  

• here is my hand, my heart by belatrix (E, 16k, completed)

Summary: Mostly, Tony had tried not to look. He still does. Try, that is. It’s just― it’s getting a little bit harder every day.

Review: I have a HUGE soft spot for this beautiful masterpiece, because it was the fic that finally made me join the Starker fandom. I’ve reread it so many times and it never fails to amaze me. Through an atmospheric non-linear narrative, this shows a guilt-ridden Tony Stark trying and failing to resist one determined Peter Parker who won’t take bullshit for an answer. Hot, and angsty, and breathtaking.

• I know that you got Daddy Issues (And I do too) by feyrelay (E)

Summary: The one where Peter’s blue balls save the world. Because, yeah? That meandering, blooming thing between him and Mr. Stark? That relationship that continues to be maddeningly legal, platonic, and above-board, but still somehow haunts Peter’s wildest wet-dreams? That might just be the key to Strange’s endgame.

Review: This fic is a love letter to those who appreciate an angsty and nuanced slow burn like me. Possibly the best character study I’ve ever read combined with a clever, well researched and intricated plot. Reading this will make you fall even more in love with Tony and Peter as individuals, before wanting them to be better together. Make sure to also check all related fics under the tag DIEU (Daddy Issues Extended Universe) - the Starker verse we fucking deserve.

• if I am the river, you are the ocean by sadonsundays (E, 7k, completed)

Summary: The one where Tony can't sleep and Peter can't stop his hands from shaking.

Review: This is a gorgeous recovery fic, painful and heartbreaking, yes, but still very gentle as Tony and Peter’s relationship quietly unfolds. Pepper is an absolute treat which was refreshing to me. I just love the quiet and angsty undertone that guides their journey until they finally find home in each other.

if you’d grant my love a pardon by belatrix (M, 2.5k, completed)

Summary: The first time, it goes something like this: “No,” Tony says, but it’s tired, half-hearted, not quite a denial.

Review: One of the reasons why I love this ship is that there’s always room for angst, even when they’re already together. This lovely yet heartbreaking fic mirrors Tony’s fragile heart as he realizes that as much as he should, he just can’t let go of Peter, not quite yet. Belatrix writes guilty!Tony’s headspace like nobody else and I just can’t recommend her writing enough.

• in the light of a dying star by @areiton​ (M, 6k, completed) fix-it

Summary: Extremis isn't a guarantee. That's what Pepper told him, as they took him off the bloody, dusty field. It was just a chance. A desperate gamble.

Review: I’m so glad I read this right after Endgame because this is the fix-it Tony and we all deserved, this fic is so comforting and beautiful. I really love the quiet, ethereal atmosphere and how it shapes our perception of time and character development. Peter is beautifully written and their get together made my heart ache in peace.

• In the Morning by @cagestark​ (M, 6k, completed)

Summary: Peter's pretty stressed. He isn't understanding physics despite all the extra time he is spending with Bruce. And underneath it all, something is wrong with Mr. Stark.

Review: Heart wrenching and painfully honest fic, where Tony is a jealous mess and Peter is his usual earnest, sweet and good self. They meet in the middle, and it’s quiet, beautiful and sad.  

• Kiss Me by @ironspi​

Summary: Five times Peter and Tony almost kiss and one time they did.

Review: This fic was such a lovely surprise! It begins unpretentious and it builds up to quality pining and unresolved sexual tension. Chapter 4 is particularly awesome, so charged and intimate. Kudos to the author for exploring Peter taking the lead and making Tony melt in his arms.

• Landslide by spqr (M, 8k, completed) fix-it

Summary: Peter jumps into the quantum realm with his heart in his throat. He steps out in 2018, on the edge of a lake he still has nightmares about. A hundred yards away over the water, the lights in the lakehouse are on.

Review: Morally ambiguous characters + angsty time travel? Count me in. This fic has a very interesting (and darker) take on Peter post-Thanos, in his raw and desperate grief over Tony. Bonus points for amazing dialogues and a fix-it plot so clever and believable I’m surprised I didn’t see it on screen.  

• lean on me now by @areiton​ (G, 9k, on hiatus)

Summary: He’s so tired, and he hurts, the kind of screaming pain he’s struggling to ignore now, and he wants to go home. But he can do this. He can sit and watch, and keep them safe. A wry smile tugs at his lips because he knows how ridiculous that sounds--a kid keeping Avengers safe.

Review: One of the best canon divergence fics I’ve ever read. It’s quiet, angsty and Peter’s voice is simply amazing. My heart breaks for Tony, but I’m so here for Peter & Rhodey’s brOTP, the fandom deserves more of it.

• noticing by @areiton​ (NR, 2k, completed)

Summary: “You deserve to be happy,” Rhodey tells Tony once, when Tony is drinking and conflicted and Peter is sleeping unaware on the couch. Tony watches him, eyes bright.

Review: How could I ever resist seeing Tony and Peter’s relationship development through Rhodey’s protective and thoughtful gaze? Any Tony stan should read this fic because this is the kind of love, friendship and support he deserves. Reading this put my mind at rest, knowing Tony’s cared for, and safe.

• Obvious by @learned-foot​ (M, 14k, completed)

Summary: When Peter wakes up, several things become very clear all at once: he’s underground somewhere unpleasant, something is messing with his powers, and his entire body hurts. A lot.

Review: WHUMP WHUMP WHUMP *victory dance* god this one is brutal, but we can trust LF to bring on full angst with an intriguing plot and A+++ characterization. I’m so here for protective!Tony doing whatever it takes to keep Peter safe, including all the confusion and heartbreak his problematic decisions may bring.

• Permission by @cagestark​ (E, 16k, completed)

Summary: During drinks with the Avengers, Peter admits that he enjoys orgasms more when someone is giving him permission, though since he's single, there isn't anyone in his life to offer it. Generous Tony offers to offer it.

Review: This fic is unique and so very hot, but don’t let the smutty summary fool you. There is also tenderness and FEELS in capital letters. Despite their arrangement, pining!Tony is so vulnerable and so completely in love with Peter it kinda breaks my heart a little, but thankfully Cage is a big fan of happy endings like me, so we’re all safe in her hands.

***Post-Endgame NYE by @darker-soft-starker (M, completed)

Summary:  Five years after the events of endgame Tony is resurrected. Months after that, he's still trying to find equilibrium

Review: Hands down the loveliest ‘flirting on a bench’ I’ve ever seen, and my top favorite NYE Starker fic. I love to see Tony facing an existential crisis while he navigates his new life post-resurrection, including the violent realization of ‘oh no, Peter’s an attractive adult now’. Gentle and gorgeous get together, kudos at Morgan for being a little devil and playing matchmaking.

• Proxy by @cagestark​ (E, 11k, completed)

Summary: Peter wants to know if Mr. Stark knows, like, anybody who’d be willing to make out with him. Things escalate from there.

Review: I have such a big soft spot for this fic because “by proxy” is one of my favorite tropes and Cage explored it masterfully. Again, this is pining!Tony at his best and Cage just has this ability to transform what once started as a sexy little thing into this soft and gentle love story, the kind that gives you butterflies in the stomach.

• Radar by @intoxicatelou​ (M)

Summary: Peter could say that he’s officially approached desperation, but he wants this, wants Tony, and he’s willing to do everything it takes. Or the one in which Peter tries to become Tony's celebrity crush from 2009 in order to seduce him.

Review: This is one of my favorites self-indulgent fics, I just can’t resist the good old “Peter’s seduction handbook” trope and intoxicatelou delivers it beautifully. This story is sweet, super fun and relatable af. There’s A+ pining, Peter being a bisexual disaster and MJ being the queen we all stan, shocking absolutely no one.

• Revelations by RTC anonymous (E, 127k, completed)

Summary: “I still don’t get it,” Ned says. “How you just... keep being ordinary in spite of all the craziness you’ve lived through. You were in space. You helped Iron Man save the universe. And nobody knows it was you.” His tone softens, becomes almost sad. As though he realizes that what he’s saying is so completely alien to him that he will never be able to understand this part of Peter’s life. “Peter, don’t you want people to know you for who you are?” An AU where they get the Gauntlet off of Thanos that first time, on Titan.

Review: I feel like I don’t need to justify this choice – almost everyone in the fandom has either heard of or read this masterpiece, it’s safe to say this fic is part of the Starker Training Wheels Protocol lol. If you have just arrived or is just exploring the fandom and enjoys slow burns I suggest you start right hee because it doesn’t get any better than this. There’s A+++ characterization, breathtaking pining, insane sexual tension and a very satisfying ending if I may say so. Definitely among my top 3 Starker fics. RTC anon, wherever you are, please know you are loved and appreciated. I’ll literally build an altar for you.

• Reversal by @learned-foot​ (E, 4k, completed)

Summary: Sometimes, Tony is the one who needs to be praised.

Review: For once Peter makes Tony just lie down and take 😊 the fucking 😊 praise 😊. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this fic all my life. This is the praise kink Tony (and we all) deserve, genuine, gentle and powerful. If you’re a big sap for their love like I am, you’re in for an emotional ride because this is overwhelmingly sweet to the point it brings tears to your eyes. LF is such a gift to this fandom.  

• Settling by @cagestark​ (E, 5k, completed)

Summary: Peter really wants to be taller than Tony. Heels help.

Review: One of my favorites by Cage, I still remember how happy and giggly I felt when I first read it. There is A+++ characterization, amazing dialogue, Avengers domesticity, praise kink, the hottest blow job and my favorite Starker first kiss. Oh, did I mention Peter in heels and Tony loving every moment of it? You’re welcome :D

• Stipulations by RTC anonymous (E, 70k, completed)

Summary: Peter Parker’s long term dream recently went from ‘get into MIT’ to ‘afford going to MIT’. As the time approaches, it’s dawning on him that he won’t be able to pay his tuition and afford the move to Cambridge all at once: he’s out of money, his secrets are beginning to pile up, and desperation has started creeping in... And then one night, he saves Tony Stark’s life.

Review: Another fandom classic by our irreplaceable RTC anon, this fic is SO GOOD I keep coming back to it and just recently I realized I’ve built all my personal Starker headcanons out of it, lol. A+++ characterization and hot, delicious pining is a given with this author, but I’m really here for that senses-dialed-to-11 trope, and RTC delivers it masterfully.  

• subtle by @areiton​ (T, 1k, completed)

Summary: Peter is not subtle. He wears his emotion, his excitement, like a flag waved bright red and teasing for a bull—impossible to go unnoticed, impossible to ignore. It’s adorable and it’s Peter, and it’s—in hindsight—why Tony misses the context clues.

Review: This fic is like reading poetry, a balm to the heart. Peter wears Tony’s colors and by the time Tony finally gets the context clues they fall together in the gentlest, softest way.

• Take it slow by tuesday (E, 13k, completed)

Summary: There were a ton of reasons dating Peter was a bad idea. Tony loved bad ideas. He was going to do it anyway. In which Tony thinks they're dating, and then they're dating undercover.

Review: This fic is so endearing it’s basically impossible not to cheer for these two, despite their usual infuriating communication issues, lol. But I promise all the angst and wait are worth it, because there’s nothing more satisfying than seeing how they (finally!) get to be on the same page.

• the record spins on the trails we blaze by @darker-soft-starker​ (NR, 5k, completed)

Summary: Years after the events of Homecoming, Peter thought all of the bad memories were well and truly behind him. After all, so much has happened since then - and he's happy now. Everything is kinda perfect.Turns out nothing stays buried.

Review: Hell yes! I agree HoCo’s events were particularly traumatizing and this trope is not as explored as it should be. To put it simply, this fic is something I didn’t know that I needed and Ash delivered it beautifully. It’s incredibly gentle, cathartic and honest, not to mention the lovely domesticity and understanding between the characters that will make your heart swell.

• Under Someone Else by @learned-foot (M, 7k, completed)

Summary: Peter realizes he’s just a rebound. And he’s okay with that, really. Or at least, that’s what he keeps telling himself.

Review: FEELS, FEELS EVERYWHERE. It’s so hard to choose a favorite fic by LF but this is the first that comes to mind because it introduced me to the amazing rebound trope. It’s so refreshing to see this ship’s potential for angst and miscommunication playing into the “fuck first, talk later” scenario. Warning for vulnerable boys being idiots and breaking our hearts but P.P.P.S they do eventually get their shit together and it’s glorious!

• Up for Anything by tuesday (E, 8k, completed)

Summary: When it came to Tony Stark, Peter would take what he could get. In which Peter believes he's just a rebound. (Not Endgame compliant.)

Review: Of course there’s yet another gorgeous rebound rec because I can’t get enough of this trope. Honestly, LF and Tuesday writing for each other have provided some of the best fics this fandom has, God bless them. This is another treat featuring pining!Peter and the usual “I can’t communicate properly how much I fucking love you”, but there’s also bantering, delicious dirty talk and so much affection that you’ll read it all with the biggest smile on your face.

[dreamydarkblue]

this letter is a riptide in the ocean

|randomscenarios I

rating: T

warning: swearing

word count: 1917

tagging: @lasswithumor @ravenadottir @bubblelaureno @ariendiel

notes: memories are weird, they hit you when you least expect them. and inspiration is the same, but they fuel each other. opening up is hard, but through a nameless letter that will never be sent is easier. imagination runs wild. for the music suggestion, the cut that always bleeds by conan gray.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey you,

It's been quite long hasn't it? I am sorry I don't have the courage to do this rightfully, and not like a coward hiding behind a letter. I am sorry. But you know I have never been like that, I could never be like you. Even when we first met, I was hiding behind my mother's legs.

Oh, I was so nervous, I never liked new places, you know it. We were living in the city, in the poorer area, and then we went to your family's house. It was huge, everything was too big. Why did you guys have an elevator in your house, weren't those for corporate buildings? And then you guys were intimidating too, I mean you were nice, don't misunderstand my words but you can understand where I am coming from, right? Your dad was a big name and your mom was a successful business owner. Then you had everything, the looks, the charming and kind personality, the brains. How could I not hide behind my mother when you guys were everything we were not? Everything that we could never be.

And then I still remember how you welcomed me, I could never forget those memories even if I wanted to. And trust me sometimes when I felt alone and like crying, those were the only ones that I couldn't shake off. You shared your toys with me, gave me a tour of the house and even shared little secrets only you knew. I felt special that day, like you liked me. But I never tried to ask if it was like that, it would be a foolish thing to do. I didn't want the disappointment of it not being true and it was rather silly.

Of course you didn't like me, it was out of kindness that you were doing that. Even if you did, we were young children back then. Any feeling you felt, you didn't know what it was. I still have that yellow plushy you gave me. It feels nice thinking about it.

That happened the second time we were there, I was much calmer. Still a bit too excited but who wouldn't be, when it was so different from what I knew? We had dinner together and your mom made one of the best pasta I have ever eaten. Then we walked up the stairs to your room, and you challenged me to lift the dumbbells sitting in the corner. Of course I couldn't lift the ones you suggested but, I wasn't going to back down just because it was impossible...

That sentence does summarize my personality well, don't you think?

Well, after my numerous tries I finally did lift them, just a little. But it was a win for me, and I still remember your laugh. It was contagious, I loved it so much. I even put myself through that just because I knew the silliness would make you laugh.

I miss those days, now all I can do is imagine.

And after that whole thing, you prized me that yellow plushy that now sits in one of the boxes I put away in a corner. I can't bear seeing it, it actually makes me cry and you know how hard it is for me to cry. But I love it so much. It's so stupid, that it makes this happy to think about but it does. It's about the only thing I have that is not memories.

And then we stopped hanging out, and all I had was my unknown feelings and that damn plushy. I was too young and dumb to be upset about it, but I knew I was sad. I knew it hurt in way I couldn't comprehend.

I missed you a lot during those years. Whenever someone talked about you, suddenly I was in the room, listening attentively. And whenever my mom and aunt joked about you and I, I didn't show it but it was too much. It made me happy to know I wasn't the only one having those thoughts but it hurt.

It hurt to know that I would never have that with you, when you were the only person I wanted it to be with. It hurt to know that we probably became strangers, and you didn't even think about me. It hurt to know that even if we did meet again, you wouldn't like me.

I lost that innocence, maybe you liked me because of it. Anything I had was less than what you deserved, and I didn't like how I looked, how I talked, how I was too nervous to be something.

Those thoughts always made me mad that I felt like that, because I wasn't some dumb bitch that lived in a dream, and didn't realize how impossible it sounded. I knew it was impossible, that's why it made me mad. I wasn't in control, I couldn't stop myself from feeling like that. And that was angering me.

After some years of denial, I kind of forgot about it. Yeah, I did think about you whenever I heard the word first crush, but still it was better. And then you fucked up.

My aunt and mom decided it would be a good idea to visit your mom. And me being the dumbass I am, I decided to go along with them. Maybe you would talk to me again, maybe you would say hello. Even just seeing you would be enough for me, I was desperate more than I realized.

We sat in the living room, except you. You were in your room, and I can't blame you for it. You probably would have been bored just like me, and it was better to play games with your friends. You never saw me doing it but I was trying to impress your mom. And you too, I brought a book with me and read it. So silly, I know. You probably would have laughed if you knew my intentions then. But still, you didn't get out of your room, probably because of the things I listed. I understood that but I never understood the way you acted when we ate dinner together. Why were you so cold and snarky? I said something to your sister and you acted like you didn't want me there.

Was I too annoying? It's hard to remember now, maybe I acted too bratty, maybe I was too weird, maybe I tried too much. But it didn't matter, I got the answers to my questions.

I was right to be angry with myself, I was right. We would never be something other than old acquaintances. I was right to not like my self, not like how I look, not like the way I acted. But you hurt me a lot, you asshole.

Did you know that I held back my tears in the car ride back home, because I couldn't explain why to my mom if she asked?

Did you know that I still can't wear the things I wore that day without something in me breaking?

Did you know the things I wrote from that, how many pages you are written on, how many songs I feel you through, how many movies I dreamt us in?

And I felt so stupid, I still do, and I don't think I will ever not feel like that. My non-existent confidence is the evidence you need. I see myself in the mirror and think if you would like the reflection. I sometimes act a different way and your words from the silly chat we had rings through my head. You are like a cloud looming over me and I don't know if it will rain.

And then you became worse. I had forgotten about it, moving on from the silly crush you were but then you reminded me.

My mom came back from a visit to your dad and I wasn't going to ask about you, I promised to myself. I wanted to, so bad, and because of that I didn't.

But fuck me, you talked to her about me. You asked her how I was doing it and how was school going. How I could go to that school that I wanted. I don't want to believe my mom, and the fact she says she didn't start the talk about me. I don't want to feel helpless again and believe that you still remember me. I know that if I do, it will be a long time until I get back up again.

Still, every time I go back to you. And your beautiful black hair and eyebrows. Your eyes were such a beautiful brown, and I hate my brown ones, for they could never be like that. Your hand were so soft and the time I held them, I didn't know how much I should have been thankful. And I still go through the phone your mom gifted me. It had your photos in it, the only ones I could hold onto.

And this whole quarantine thing happened, everyone decided to talk through zoom. And our parents suggested it too, I hated it. I hated how I immediately thought about you and how I got sad because you probably wouldn't show your face. Two could play that game, and I didn't want to show mine because of other reasons already.

Then you once again surprised me, talked to my parents and asked about me. I don’t know why you did it, maybe because you didn't see me and wanted me to suffer because of it. Maybe it was genuine curiosity or it was just kindness, nothing that should be thought after this much. But of course I did. And I even got closer to the screen so I could see you, risking myself getting exposed.

You looked amazing, just as I remembered but much more mature. Is this what soulmates were, would that be reaching too far? Because every time I start about forgetting you, something reminds me.

I am still hopeful and you would probably tease me about it. But I can't lie to myself anymore, I lie to everyone else and that includes you. It hurts to know that I will never be enough. I can't be happy and hopeful, either, because I know how it ends.

It ends with me dreaming about us, dreaming about your arms around me and your face close to mine.

It ends with me thinking of you as I sleep, trying to see you at least through my subconscious.

It ends with me doubting myself and trying to feel emotions when someone asks me why I act like that.

It ends with me writing a letter addressed to you even though no one other than me will ever see this.

I hope you get the things you want from life, I hope someday we can meet again. And if we meet again, I hope I impress you.

I miss you, F.”

I wrote the last line as I held back a storm. I folded the paper, put it in a letter and hid it in a drawer.

That was my sorrow story, every night to feel undeserving of love. Feeling like a joke whenever my friends said someone might like me. Feeling your eyes on me even though, we haven't been in the same room since 6 years ago.

Your cloud loomed over my head and I welcomed the rain.

[starrynite7114]

things you never knew: one

A/N: So, I know things you never knew have been up, but I have decided to revamp it. It’s much different from before, but I hope you all will still enjoy it! I’ve decided to add a few more characters including a love interest for EZ. 

Snapshots should be posted by the end weekend and Misconstrued should be posted by the middle of next week. I’m also making my way through requests!

Masterlist

If you want to be added to the tag list, please let me know!

Tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @ifoundmyhappythought : @woahitslucyylu : @enamoured-x : @encounterthepast : @marvelmaree : @thickemadame : @carlaangel86: @iambabyharry​ : @gemini0410​ : @claytoncardenasbabymama​ : @sadeyesgf​ : @elcococruz​ : @chibsytelford​ : @everyhowlmarksthedead​ : @agirllovespasta​ : @jadert15​ : @trulysuccubus​ : @whyisgmora​ : @briannab1234​ : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass​ : @gemini0410

Gif Credit: Bai-feng-jiu

Today was the day.

Angel has been counting down the days till Ailee was released.

His ex-girlfriend. His former best friend. 

The one he let slipped through his finger tips.

Well, it wasn’t actually his fault, to some extent. He held on to her even after she was sentenced, but she cut all of them off.

He couldn’t blame her.

They let her take the fall.

He was supposed to catch her, but he didn’t. He tried, but every attempt he made, he was blocked off.

She never forgave him and he couldn’t blame her.

He insisted on going with Creeper, Jin, Michael, and Vince, but they declined adamantly, not wanting to further upset her. 

But it didn’t make sense.

He knew who her family was connected to, he knew they could get her out, but she served her time and was released on good behavior. 

Every time he tried to see her, he wasn’t let in due to him being a part of the ‘no visit’ list. All of his fellow brothers realized that they were all part of this list, she didn’t want any of them to visit her. Felipe was able to visit her once, but he never spoke a word of it. He just told Angel to give her time and Angel just took that.

He never gave up, every weekend for two years he tried to see her, but he was never allowed inside. He even wrote her letters and no reply, ever. 

She took the fall for the MC, drug and weapons trafficking charge, a ten year sentence since it was her first offense.

“You didn’t go to Stockton?” EZ questioned when he saw his brother walk in the clubhouse.

“Nope, they wouldn’t let me.” He sat down across his brother, tapping his fingers on the table. 

“Never stopped you before.” EZ placed a beer on the bar.

“You’ve met Jin, he can be quite imposing.” Angel took a swig, sitting in front of his brother. “She wouldn’t want to see me.”

“Has she reached out?”

Angel scoffed. “No, but once she’s back, I don’t give a fuck. We’re going to talk whether she wants to or not.”

==============

Ailee walked down the long hall outside the prison, fences on either side of her as she walked out. Carrying her bag that held the items she brought in with her, she internally groaned as she saw who was waiting for her by the gate. 

It was her cousin, Creeper. 

Though, she was glad it was only him. She blocked out all of the Mayans. How did he know she was getting out today?

Her eyes drifted to the side and saw her Tio Jin, who was in his prim and proper suit. Creeper and Jin got along well so he most likely informed him of her release date.

“Prima,” Creeper fondly greeted her with open arms.

“You shouldn’t be here.” She walked away from him and towards Jin, lesser of two evils, the one who didn’t betray her. 

“Lee, come on man, you know we tried to help you out.” Creeper reasoned as he followed after her.

“Still served five years, primo.” Her last word was laced with venom, turning to face her cousin causing him to halt his steps. “Stay the fuck away from me. You, Bishop, Taza, Hank, Coco, Riz, Gilly, and more importantly Angel.”

She handed her bag to Michael, her tio’s second in command. Slipping inside the car, she wasn’t surprised when she saw her older brother, Vince, sitting in the front seat. He smirked at her, handing her a cellphone.

“Welcome back to the outside world.” Vince smirked. 

“It’s not like I was in there long.” She moved towards the window, leaving room for Jin to sit.

“Yeah, how long were you there? Just for the dramatics, everyone believes five when in reality, we just dropped you off this morning.” Vince chuckled. “You know we could have looped them in, they’ve been riddled with guilt.”

“So you didn’t tell them that you let me get apprehended just so you can make me an offer I couldn’t refuse?” Ailee shook her head. It was complicated in some sense. She was truly arrested for keeping the drugs and weapons the Mayans had at the back storage of her coffee shop. But what they didn’t know was that her Tio Jin swept in before she truly was indicted, he offered her a choice. 

==============

Jin entered her cell, making Ailee groan. This was the last fucking thing she needed. 

“Told you he was trouble.” He leaned against the wall opposite of her bed. 

“With all due respect tio, is there a point for your visit?” Ailee sat crossed leg on her bed. She’s been in jail for two weeks, refusing to see anyone. She couldn’t believe Angel could be so stupid to temporarily store drugs and guns in her coffee shop. 

“I tipped them off.” He nonchalantly informed her.

Ailee laughed. “Of course you did, may I ask why?”

“You belong with Maquina, Gracie. You were born and bred to serve our cause.” 

“And you saw this as an opportunity to screw me over? To offer me immunity so I have no choice but to pay my debt to Maquina?” She never truly hated Maquina. It had a good message, an ideal one that benefited the many, sacrificed a few. 

A loophole to democracy.

A government agency, much like in the movies, that was operated in the shadows to keep the balance of power in the world. At times, people had to choose the lesser of two evils and Maquina was the one who did it for them. A government agency that only the few knew about as having such a powerful hand could not be known by people that could easily be corrupted, that could become power hungry. 

“You trained with your brothers, excelled in every field, yet, you chose to stay in that god forsaken town for a man who could never amount to anything.”

“You like Angel.”

“I like Angel, but not for you. Your potential far exceeds anything his mind could wrap around. You shouldn’t let your talent go to waste, Angel will always be there.” Jin did like Angel Reyes, but he was also a hindrance to his niece’s potential. Ailee could be his top agent by now, the best, yet she chose to stay in Santo Padre and be with that punk kid that had her wrapped around his finger since they were children. “He left those drugs and weapons in your shop, this was on him, the MC. They let you take the fall, not even coming to your rescue. They’re ruthless killers yet they couldn’t kill Frankie when he arrested you?”

“You’re the one who tipped them off.” Ailee narrowed her eyes at her tio, not at all in disbelief by his actions. “Why’d you do it? You told me you would respect my choice.”

“I did, and I was, but things change Ailee, you know that. This was the only way for me to grab your attention.” Jin knew it was unconventional, but Ailee would never willingly work for Maquina again. He knew why Ailee despised the organization. She went through hell during training, and when she decided to step away, it wasn’t easy either. He understood that his niece never experienced a normal childhood due to the organization, which was something she could never forgive. 

“And what has changed?”

“Your brother, Theo, he’s back.”

“My half-brother.” She corrected him, leaning back against the wall. 

Jin watched as his niece remained cool, calm and collected, which wasn’t a feat for Ailee. Things always didn’t seem to bother her. After those last six months she spent with Theo, Ailee changed. She didn’t mind to be part of Maquina at first, as long as Angel and the MC would never be dragged in. But then Theo sunk his claws into her and things changed. He saw glimpses of the old Ailee, but when she would do a mission, it was like she turned a switch off and did as she was told. It was a benefit for him, but he could see Ailee lose her light with every life she took. That’s why she ran to Santo Padre, the light she was holding onto was still there. “Regardless, he’s back.”

“And this is my concern why?”

“He’s going to come for you and when he does, he’s going to do everything he can to sway you his way. If he has to indict the Mayans, put them in harm's way, he will.” Jin explained. 

“So basically, the lesser of two evils.” Ailee chuckled, shaking her head. “Both want to use me as a means to overtake the other.”

Theodore Kane was Ailee’s half older brother on her mother’s side. She got on well with Theo. He always treated her like his younger sister and was never angry at the circumstances they were placed. But Theo was also an asshole. He knew the worth of a life and capitalized on it. Currently, he had a weapons manufacturing company and was exiled from America due to his father’s past actions. It was strictly enforced that he was not allowed on American soil and Theo blamed his half-siblings for this, so called misunderstanding.

“I take offense that you see myself and Theodore as evil entities.”

Ailee shrugged. “It wouldn’t be offending if it weren’t true. If I won’t work for you, what makes you think I’d work for Theo?”

“You feel that you owe your older brother for the way things played out with his father, how his father was taken out by a Maquina agent. He feels betrayed and rightfully so, but we had to eliminate every threat.” Jin didn’t understand as to why Theo was so upset that his father was killed. Of course, that was his father, so in that sense he understood, but from what he gathered, Theo planned on disposing of his father as well. “What happened those six months, Gracie?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“Ailee, you came back from those six months with Theo changed, I don’t know what he did, what he said, but you can’t keep it in. You have to talk to someone about it.”

“It’s convenient you care now, but you were the one who pushed me to Theo since he was,” she paused, finding the right words to describe the reason as to why Jin wanted her close to Theo. “He didn’t follow your blueprint. Theo made Defande as a means to gain allies. You wanted to know what he had, I told you what he had, Eastern Europe. No matter who we put in place in Eastern Europe, there will be another player that can overtake it. The instability there is far too great. Theo thrives on that, he pinpoints your weakness and manipulates it every way possible to get the outcome he wants.”

“Is that what he did to you?”

“Doesn’t matter what he did to me, my point is, if Theo is remerging, he must have something or someone backing him.”

“You were close to Theo once.”

“I was close to everyone once.”

“Ailee, your brothers need you, maybe Theo can still be salvage.”

“You’re not recruiting me to stop Theo, you’re recruiting me to assure Theo doesn’t get his hands on me.” Ailee sighed, tired and bored with this conversation. “Tio, just get to the point as to why you’re here in my cell, it isn’t about Theo, he hasn’t made enough noise for him to be the problem.”

“I’ll offer you immunity, but I want you to go to Europe. Things are unsettled there and I need someone to go, someone I can trust.”

“You have hundreds of agents to choose from, why should I do it?”

“Cause you’re the only one who Alexander Leon trusts, with his father growing weaker each day, I need to assure that Alexander rightfully takes his place as leader of the Leon organization.”

Alexander Cross Leon. 

The eldest son of the Leon Organization. They were based in Germany and Italy, controlling cocaine trafficking around the EU. They used prime real estate to hide their true business. A quintessential crime family. Drugs, legit business, and murder.

Alexander was the eldest of three sons, the most cunning and untouchable of them all. His younger brothers were too caught up at the romanization of their crime organization. They used it to adhere to their means, to obtain status around the cities in Germany and Italy. But Alexander wanted to grow the business, to make it untouchable. He saw the benefit of allying himself with Maquina, but he also didn’t want to sell drugs any longer. He wanted the family to be clean, something his father himself wanted. The only problem was, it’s what they’ve known, it was hard to break profitable habits. 

“You want me to infiltrate their family.”

“No Lee, the Leon’s are already allied with us, I want you to make sure it remains that way.”

“The Leon’s need us, not the other way around.”

“Things change Ailee, the last thing we need is Theo sweeping in.” Jin sighed. “I’m on your side Lee, I can’t let you go to jail. They would gun for you.”

“No one knows of my connection with Maquina.”

“That’s not the point Lee.”

Ailee knee there was no escaping this. She knew Maquina wouldn’t actually let her lead a life without her at least being part of it. She didn’t want to stay in jail. 

It was the perfect plan. 

==============

“I never wanted to be a part of this world.”

“I know, but it’s in your blood. You would have eventually come Lee, Maquina is ours, it provides for us.” Vince reasoned. 

“Yeah, at the expense of what? Our souls?”

“You never had one.” It was a joke between him, John and Ailee, but as of late, it felt like she didn’t have one anymore. Killing came so easy for her. He rarely worked on missions with his sister but when he did, he saw the damage that’s been done and he would forever be ashamed of it. He wanted her to be a part of this world, while John was heavily against it. 

John believed that she was better off in Santo Padre, living a life they always wanted for her, away from Maquina. She always thrived well around the Reyes family, maybe it was due to the fact that they showed her what a true family could be. A loving mother and father, pesky sibling quarrels, and just a true family. John and Vince tried to provide that for their sister as their parents were highly ideal. Then they added Theo into the mix and it was a whole different fucking ball game. Their half-brother that their mother insisted they visited every summer. They were fine at first, like all siblings, they fought, but the way Theo dotted on Ailee, the way he was so kind to her, it never sat well with John and Vince. Maybe they were envious, but after what occurred all those years ago, it made sense. 

Ailee lost a part of herself during her time with Theo, it was when they all began the joke that she didn’t have a soul.

But she did have a soul, it was just unfortunately tied with Angel Ignacio Reyes.

==============

Opening the car door, she smiled when her eyes landed on her best friend, Olivia, who was waiting outside her new home in Santo Padre. 

“Liv!” Ailee enthusiastically greeted her.

“Look who's back.” Olivia always knew that Ailee wasn’t in prison, but she’s also been in Europe the last few years. She sporadically saw Ailee, but it was rare since her family didn’t want her back in Santo Padre. Which was why she found it odd that not only was she back, Maquina provided a permanent residency for her. “Your shadow isn’t here.”

“Yours isn’t either.”

“Ezekiel didn’t want to upset you.” Olivia grimaced. “He knows the situation.”

“He just got out, of course I’d want to see him.”

“He’s prospecting for the Mayans.”

Ailee chuckled, shaking her head. “Following in big brother’s footsteps. Being a Mayan seems so,” Ailee shrugged, “beneath Ezekiel.”

“Things are different now.”

“It is such wasted intelligence.” Ailee always felt terrible for Ezekiel. She asked her Tio Jin to help Ezekiel out, to offer him the same deal he offered her, but he said that he had no use for EZ. “What are you doing here Liv?”

“Came to surprise my best friend, she just got out of jail.” Olivia gave her a playful smile. “And well, I have the paperwork for the coffee shop.”

Olivia was EZ’s best friend much like Angel was Ailee’s. However, she remained just EZ’s friend even though she was in love with him. Emily has plagued EZ’s mind for so long that Olivia lost hope. Even now, it upset her how Emily still had EZ wrapped around her finger.

She was going to help Ailee run the coffee shop, which would serve as a front for the Maquina headquarters in Santo Padre. Due to the recent border issues, Jin thought it was time to set up shop and what better place than a place they were familiar with. Every coffee shop under Maquina was a front for their facilities. Ailee helped establish the coffee shop job for trainees and new agents. Working at a coffee shop or in the food business helped develop patience, efficiency, balance, and discipline. Many of their newer agents had trouble with said fields, so Ailee developed this training process. They had to work at a coffee shop for a minimum of two years to assure they have perfected their craft. 

Olivia was not a Maquina agent, she was Ailee’s right hand though. She continued to live in Santo Padre and traveled to Europe often. She remained friends with the Mayans and they tried to break her when it came to Ailee, but she kept her mouth zipped. Her loyalties would always lie with Ailee. Olivia did work for Maquina as a hacker on Ailee’s team. She didn’t need to be in Europe, but if there is a mission, she had to be available to assure the team’s success.

Ailee has five people in her team including herself. Olivia, her lead IT and hacker. Oscar, her sniper specialist, proficient in hand to hand combat as well. Andrew, the muscle of the group. Janine, her second in command, proficient with knives and hand guns. They all served a purpose and were a valuable asset to the team. 

Olivia always remained away from the action, Ailee not wanting to further involve her. Olivia could fight and could defend herself, but Ailee was very protective over her best friend. She was untainted, regardless of the exposure she got from Maquina. 

“Where is it located? Where are we at with the construction? Has it been checked by engineering?” Ailee fired off all these questions and Olivia just chuckled.

“Do you not know me? Everything is done, it is ready to open whenever you are.” 

“Just testing ya,” Ailee laughed, wrapping a shoulder around Olivia. They walked into the home Maquina had provided for Ailee.

Olivia whistled, shaking her head. “Maquina always provides.”

“Yeah, as long as you follow the rules, right Tio Jin?” Ailee knew it was a snide remark, but her tio seemed to let it slide.

Jin smirked. “Well, you’re the best at the agency, I have to provide for you.”

“I resent that.” Vince glared as his tio, flopping down on the couch. “So, when do we start?”

“Aren’t you going back to Europe?”

“No, Tio Jin and I felt that it would be better I’m here with you as well, just in case this isn’t a dead end and Theo truly is at the border.” Vince always worried for his sister’s well being. They all had expiration dates with Maquina, it’s hard to remain an agent for long. He knew his sister was itching to get out, but he also knew she had nowhere to go. “Is Alexander coming in?”

“Cross has to stay in Europe, he’s being groomed to take over, remember?” Ailee took off her jacket, sitting beside her older brother.

“Are you going to answer his proposal soon?” Olivia teased, sitting on Ailee’s otherwise.

“Proposal?” Jin turned towards his niece, raising an eyebrow. He sat on the couch across from the three, crossing his legs and leaning back. “Do tell me about your upcoming nuptials.”

“Haha,” Ailee flicked them all off. “There is no proposal, so no marriage.”

“Why are you still holding off, for Angel?” 

Olivia and Jin both cringed on the inside, they knew how sensitive of a subject Angel Reyes was for her. 

Ailee turned towards her brother, who already appeared apologetic. “Let’s do one round in the ring, I’m sure there’s a gym downstairs.” She stood up and went to her room to change, knowing everything was already set up for her.

Vince looked at Jin and Olivia who were both glaring at him.

“Yeah, I know, I deserve it.”

==============

Creeper walked into the clubhouse, all of his brothers anxiously waiting for his arrival. They all looked disappointed when they saw him walk in alone.

“Come on, you know her. She holds a grudge like no one I know.” Creeper walked up to EZ getting a beer from him. “It doesn’t make sense to me.”

“What doesn’t?” Bishop knew that Ailee would never forgive them. They let her rot in there. Every attempt they made to make amends with her was blocked off. He wasn’t sure if it was Jin or not, but he didn’t push it. 

“The way she walked out from that prison, she,” Creeper paused and took a swig out of his beer. “She didn’t seem rattled or excited to be out.” He couldn’t put his finger on it, but it just didn’t make sense to him. 

“Well Lee doesn’t scare easily.” Coco pointed out.

“Something is just off.” Creeper shook his head. “She went with Tio Jin so willingly, it threw me off.”

“She always has had a good relationship with Jin.” Hank added, but he understood Creeper’s concern. Everyone knew that Jin and Ailee stopped seeing eye to eye when she decided to stay in Santo Padre. Jin thought it was a waste of time, waste of talent. He never had anything against the MC, but his niece had a better future than whatever the MC could possibly offer her, well better than what Angel could offer her. 

“Something changed after she spent time with her half-brother.”

“You mean psycho McPsycho?” Angel chimed in. He knew how much she changed. He remembered how she knocked on his door, so softly that he almost didn’t hear it. She looked up at him, face bruised, cheek swollen, left eye shut, Angel was livid. But he knew she didn’t need that, what she needed was him. He had wrapped his arms around her, gave her a bath and held her the whole night. He called off for the next two days, all he had to say to Bishop was Ailee and that was that.

“Yeah,” Creeper sighed. “She asked for us to stay away from her.”

“Well tough shit, we don’t always get what we want.”

“Angel,” Bishop hissed in a warning tone.

“No, I’m sorry Prez, she shut us out while she was in prison, whatever, that was something she could control. But out here, she can’t do jack shit. Whether she likes it or not, we’re going to talk.” Angel walked out of the clubhouse, not wanting to further discuss Ailee.

“Did she go back to Los Angeles?”

“No, she’s setting shop in Santo Padre, she’s opening a coffee shop.”

Taza, Hank and Bishop looked at one another. They knew Maquin’a forte, they set up a coffee shop as a headquarters and operated from there. What business did they have in Santo Padre? Most importantly, why did Jin mention to them that Maquina was setting up shop?

Whatever it was, Bishop didn’t have a good feeling about this.

[siriusmuch]

Friday I’m In Love | Chapter Five

series masterlist here

word count: about 2.6k

warnings: it gets a bit depressing when the reader’s sister is brought up, but overall, it’s a pretty hurt/comfort chapter :)! and it’s super fluffy ;)

taglist: @interestingthingsthings @siriuslysirius1107@scaredofvscogirls @lizlil @themihala @mainstreambitchlife @phenylethyllamine @jellyfishbeansontoast​ @accio-rogers​ @blackpinkdolan​ @nickangel13​ @witchywrter​ please message me or send an ask if you’d like to be added to the taglist! if you didn’t receive a notification, it’s because i can’t tag you.

a/n: i’m SO excited for this chapter and honestly, i was planning on writing more for this, but hopefully this is good for now !! thank you all for being patient with me :) 

-

“You’ve got the wrong person, Princess.”

Your hair hit your face as you whipped around. Almost immediately, your eyes met with gray ones, and your eyes narrowed. The last person you expected was Sirius, and you scoffed.

“Did I not tell you that I’m done with you, Black?” Your voice was icy, but you couldn’t help the pounding of your heart. The tiniest of urges to thank him was immediately pushed down by your grudge. You watched Sirius carefully, and you could see his eyes widen for a fraction of a second. Did he really expect you to go running back at him with just a prank?

“I seem to have a reputation of not following rules. Did you not expect me to do something?”

Your emotions were bubbling, and it took everything in you to contain them. “Well, you seemed to follow the unspoken rule of Gryffindors hating Slytherins quite well... And you even pulled a stereotypical Gryffindor move and decided that all Slytherins were bad.”

You watched Sirius stiffen up the more you spoke, and part of you felt guilty. Despite being a Slytherin, you weren’t as prideful as some of your other house members, and all you wanted to do was jump into his arms and tell him you forgave him. But you refused to let yourself sink to that level — you were ignored for five years. It wasn’t even that you didn’t try reaching out to him.

“Moony, could you give us a minute? You’re done with detention, right?”

You hadn’t been talking to Remus for the past few minutes, but you wished he would stay. He looked over at you, silently asking whether or not you wanted him to stay. You hesitated, before nodding. This was a conversation for you and Sirius only, and as much as you started to let Remus into your life, you knew this was something you needed.

Right before Remus left, he gave you a quick hug, whispering a quick word of assurance before stepping out the door. You watched him leave, nerves starting to build up. You felt much more confident while Remus was in the room. And although Sirius hadn’t talked to you for years, he always had a knack to be able to read you.

Were you even ready to have this conversation?

This was something you’d hoped to have for years. You couldn’t list the amount of letters that you’ve composed, begging for something, anything, from him that you’d burnt up. Or even the ones that you’ve sent for a few years before you realized he’d never read any of them. Or the gifts you got him, the ones that you had spent hours agonizing over before sending him. Everything you did for the first few years during Hogwarts was for him.

You wanted this so badly, but now that you were face to face with Sirius, all you wanted to do was run. 

“Look, (Y/N)...” Sirius started, breaking the silence between the two of you, “Honestly, I don’t know what to say. I’ve been an asshole for the past five years, and you didn’t deserve that.”

“Damn right,” You muttered under your breath. “I can’t... deny that you haven’t been. I’ve been hurt over and over by you, and I didn’t deserve that. No matter the house I’m in. Hell, we’re starting to talk right now, and I still have no clue what you want from me.”

You looked up at Sirius, trying to figure out what was going on behind his eyes. He opened his mouth a few times to speak, although no words came out.

“Alright. I’m going to assume nothing then, or at least nothing important. I can’t tell if you’re not saying anything because of your pride, or if it’s because this entire thing was on impulse. I’m going to go.” Any anger you had was quickly filled with disappointment. You could hear your father’s voice in your head, telling you how all Gryffindors were the same and how they were making a fool out of you, and in turn, you were making a fool of your bloodline.

“No!” Sirius reached out and took a hold of your hand, and you almost jumped at the sparks. You turned to look at him, and you were surprised at how genuine he seemed. “Please don’t go. Not yet, just. Give me a bit,” Sirius begged.

Your eyes softened as you continued to stare at him, and you knew that Sirius knew. His grip on you loosened, but he never once looked away from your eyes. Neither of you spoke, and you knew a thousand messages were being exchanged between you. Your hand was still in his, and you just waited.

“I can’t expect you to forgive me. At least, not yet. But I’m sorry, (Y/N). I’m truly sorry for ignoring you and making it out to seem like I haven’t given a fuck about you for the past five years. When I first started, it was because I was so angry yet so scared, scared that you wanted to talk just so you could break off this friendship,” Sirius paused, and you nodded at him to continue.

“That’s not an excuse for anything, I know. You don’t have to tell me. But then, as time went on, I was so ashamed of doing it and I didn’t know how to stop doing it. And I guess eventually, before this year, I started believing that you were just like everyone else in my family. I mean, you hung around Snivellus and at any house parties I saw you in, you always seemed like you were being the perfect daughter. And... once, a group of Voldemort supporters were at my house, and your parents and sister were there. So I just assumed. But after I saw that howler you got, I got reminded of just how similar you and I were. You hated my parents more than I did, and I completely forgot that we were in the same boat.”

You frowned at him, but you squeezed his hand gently to reassure him. The two of you stood in silence for a moment as you tried to compose all your thoughts.

“Siri,” You started, before hastily correcting yourself, “Black.”

Before you even had a chance to say anything else, Sirius cut you off. “Sirius is fine, (Y/N). Please don’t call me by my last name. I’ve always been Sirius to you, and I don’t want that to change.”

You smirked a bit at that, but you continued speaking. “Sirius, I don’t know what to say. I can’t forgive you,” you paused when you noticed his frown, “but it doesn’t mean that I won’t in the future. I’m a little scared that this is going to be a one time thing,” you confessed.

“It’s not! I swear to Merlin, it’s not.” Sirius quickly jumped in, and you squeezed his hand again.

“And I can’t tell you that I believe that that’s true right now either. It’s been five years, Sirius. Even though we were close before, it’s going to take a while before I allow myself to fully trust you again. It’s not that I don’t want to, because believe me, every ounce of self-control is thrown out the window when it comes to you. It’s taking me everything to not just forgive you on the spot,” your voice was somber as you continued to speak, “And I don’t think anything is going to be the same as it once was. You might think you miss me, but I’m different now. I’m not the same naive child I once was, nor are you. You might realize that you don’t want to be friends with me anymore.”

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). I really am,” Sirius brought his free hand up to your cheek, wiping away the few tears that escaped your eyes. You hadn’t even realized that you started crying at some point. Your eyes flicked down a moment as you tried not to close yourself off, but with one glance up at Sirius, you realized that he was about to cry as well.

“And, about the Voldemort supporter thing? I can’t deny that my parents don’t support him. They do, and there’s nothing I can do about that. Nothing I can do would stop them from doing so.” Your nose crinkled in disgust.

“If you couldn’t tell already, mine do too.” He gave you the slightest of smiles, and suddenly, you burst into laughter, instinctively leaning into Sirius. Seconds later, Sirius did the same, and the two of you just couldn’t stop. There was someone who truly understood what having Death Eater parents was like, and you felt the slightest of weights on your shoulder being lifted. Every time you and Sirius looked at each other, you both couldn’t help laughing even harder.

Within the next few minutes, you were finally able to calm down from laughing, the slightest of chuckles still lingering. The awkward atmosphere in the room had long left, and the two of you were closer than you had been in five years. You welcomed this feeling back with a grin at Sirius.

“I have a question, though,” Sirius started. You lifted an eyebrow, waiting. “That day in the hospital... You mentioned that you wish you were in your sisters place. And during the Hallowe’en Feast, you let it slip that your sister was dead. Are you... Nevermind, that’s a stupid question. Do you want to talk about it?”

You couldn’t stop your shoulders from tensing up. You sighed, looking away from Sirius before he gently nudged you, trying to get you to look back at him. You took a moment to ponder whether or not you really wanted to say anything about what had happened.

“Not... really,” You sighed, “I don’t like thinking about how it happened, or even why it happened. But I was telling you the truth. There’s been plenty of times I wished it were me. And when I said that it was your fault, don’t blame yourself too much. You didn’t know, no one did. Plus, it wasn’t entirely you. There’s been... other things.”

Sirius nodded, and he mindlessly ran his thumb against the back of your hand. It was like he was doing it out of comfort, like how he used to when you were younger, and you appreciated that he still remembered. Or at least, even if he didn’t, that he still knew to do it instinctively. 

“I don’t like thinking about her. I know you used to look up to her when you were younger, but don’t think she was a Voldemort supporter. I know you saw her with my parents, but she didn’t have a choice. She’s like me, a bit. We both don’t have the courage it takes to be like you, Sirius. You stand up against your parents, or, as well as you can, from what Reg tells me. I’ve never been able to do that as well as you have.” You sighed, “But enough about that.”

Sirius’ lips pursed, and you could tell that he wanted to say more. To ask about what happened, to get everything out of you. But you couldn’t — even if you felt more comfortable with Sirius than you had that morning, you still felt just the slightest bit uneasy thinking about telling him what’d really been going on in your life for the past five years.

“That day in the hospital... You also happened to mention something else,” Sirius started, and you tried racking your brain for what it was, “You said that you were trying to get over me... Platonically and romantically.”

Oh.

You blinked owlishly at him as the memory settled in your brain, and you could feel your cheeks start burning red. You tried pulling your hand away from his, but Sirius held on a bit tighter. “I’m not judging, Princess, but...” Sirius raised an eyebrow at you.

You bit your lip, swallowing nervously as you looked anywhere but at Sirius. You knew he was seeing you vulnerable, but your hand was still in his. You didn’t want to pull away from the feeling just yet, but you were so jittery.

“Well...” You started, “Um. I may or may not have been in l-love with you for the past few years. Or maybe my entire life. I can’t remember not being in love with you.” You admitted, your voice growing quiet as you tried your best to control your stammer.

The silence between the two of you was practically destroying you, so you rushed to continue speaking, “I-I mean, I don’t expect you to feel the same for me or anything like that. We haven’t talked in five years, and like, I heard you and Marlene had a thing for a while, so. Plus, I only mentioned it because I thought you hated me and that we’d never speak again after it, and I thought getting it off my chest would help, but...” You laughed nervously, and you hated how it sounded like one of the girls who’d fake giggle around Sirius.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” Sirius said, and your heart dropped. You hadn’t even realized that you were holding your breath, or that your hopes had gotten up a bit. You didn’t even realize that Sirius’ grip had loosened, so you pulled your hand away and wiped them on your robes. “I hope you still want to be my friend, or at least, still want me to try and get you to forgive me. But I just don’t feel the same way.”

If you’d been looking at Sirius, you’d notice that he silently had smacked his face. But instead, you were staring across the room, your eyes darting around and at anywhere but at him.

After a moment, you finally looked back up at Sirius. “It’s alright, it’s what I expected. But now that you know, I can finally get over you in peace,” You nudged him, trying to bring back the ease from earlier. But, it seemed to had the opposite effect. Sirius crossed his arms and had an obvious sour expression on his face, and for the life of you, you couldn’t tell where you went wrong. Your brows furrowed, and you wished you were able to read him as well as you used to be able to — it sucked, not knowing what was going on in his head.

“It’s... not because of you or anything. I just don’t think I’d be able to settle down. And from what I can tell, that’s what you want, right?” Sirius lied, not that you would know. You nodded, a sad look on your face, but you didn’t blame him. “You’ve always been important to me, (Y/N), and even though I haven’t been able to show that, you’re not like everyone else. I don’t want to give this a try and disappoint you.”

You nodded again, reaching out to grab onto Sirius’ hand. You hoped that your eyes conveyed just how understanding you were about all of this. Even though he didn’t want to give a try, nor felt any romantic sparks towards you at all, it was just nice to have him back in your life. Nice to have someone who knew you and knew you better than you knew yourself. Nice to have someone who truly cares and understands.

And when Sirius gave a gentle squeeze back, you knew that maybe it was okay for you to hope again.

[tisfan]

So Many Beds

Title So Many Beds Collaborator(s) @tisfan Link https://archiveofourown.org/works/24480112 Square Filled B4: Bucky/Clint Ship/Main Pairing Bucky/Clint Rating - teen Major Tags/Triggers/Warnings - none Summary Bucky and Clint need a new bed Word Count 1264 For @buckybarnesbingo

Bucky could have sworn that he didn’t look at his phone for more than about four minutes; he got a beep for an email, and he was hoping to hear back about a contract job soon. It might be nice to have a job that wasn’t shooting at people, but hey, he’d only been out of the Army for less than a year, what did he know? He knew he still didn’t have steady work. He’d had a couple of contracts for doing heavy lifting and other stupid stuff like that, but not a real job, or a real paycheck.

What he did know was that, after half a year of being home and stepping cautiously around a super cute roomie who he wasn’t quite positive wasn’t hitting on him -- and he’d talked it out about sixty million times with his friends before finally taking a chance.

Six months in, Clint finally said, “Look, this is great and all, believe me, I love snuggling, but man, it’s gonna get hot soon, and sleeping two in a twin is just not going to cut it.”

Bucky had a small amount of savings; there really hadn’t been anything to spend money on aside from hookers and booze, while he was deployed, and no, really, not either of those either, because guess what, the middle east wasn’t big on actual relaxing. So, he had savings.

Which did not really mean he wanted to spend three hundred dollars or so on half a bed, and a boxspring, because he didn’t do that shit of sleeping on the floor. Plus sheets and pillows and all that stuff.

On the other hand, moving into the same bedroom with Clint would mean that they had a spare room in their apartment that they could use as an office.

Maybe he could get some work doing computer software. From home.

Bucky blinked at the email. “Your breakdown backup.” The fuck even was that? 

Spam, as it turned out. It didn’t seem to matter how careful he was, or how thoroughly he triaged his inbox, some amount of “let me sell you shit you don’t need and can’t afford” seemed to slip through.

All in all, though, he was looking at his phone for less than ten minutes. Probably.

And when he looked up, Clint was gone.

Like, not just not beside him, but gone.

He’d either kept going -- not noticing Bucky’s signal to stop a minute -- or he’d gone back.

But in either case, Bucky was now standing alone in the middle of one of those furniture outlet stores that was the size of an airplane hanger, filled with discount sofas and tables, as well as beds, televisions, and electronics.

And the worst part was, in order to give people the idea of space, the floorplan was made up of about half a hundred or so “room sized” display areas that weren’t evenly spaced. 

Which meant sight lines were nothing but a wish and a dream.

Bucky couldn’t see more than fifty feet in any direction.

Bucky wanted it known, period, that he wasn’t scared. That wasn’t even on the list. He was just  annoyed. He was in a big ass furniture store. In New Jersey. Alone.

Because his parter-slash-boyfriend had vanished while Bucky looked like an email.

Annoyed.

Bucky called his name a few times, but Clint was partly deaf, and while he wore hearing aids, they didn’t always help. Especially not in a high noise clutter environment like this. He might even have taken the ‘aids out, if things were bothering him. Bucky usually signed when he talked anyway, just to be polite.

Deciding that Clint probably wouldn’t have gone on ahead, Bucky decided to backtrack through the last few showrooms.

No Clint.

He checked the room with the bare mattresses, piles and piles of them, for laying down on and testing -- Clint had laid down on about forty of them, and Bucky only two.

He couldn’t seem to relax enough to test a mattress -- with his boyfriend -- where people might see them. Call him a self-hating, still in the closet gay man. Which was kinda true, but also because laying down made him vulnerable, and he was still jittery from being in the Army where laying down sometimes meant people shot at you.

Some things took a long time to unlearn.

No Clint in the mattress room.

Bucky backtracked even further, thinking of the rows of sofas that Clint had tried, excited as hell about things like heated seats and consoles where you could store your remotes and cup holders and fancy gizmos.

“Can I help you find something, sir?”

“I’m lookin’ for my roommate,” Bucky said, scowling.

“Well, I can have him paged,” she suggested. “Since he’s probably not in the clearance section.”

“Yeah, we can try that,” Bucky said. Although it was entirely likely that Clint was in the clearance section. He could be a real cheapskate that way, and maybe he was looking for a good deal there.

Bucky texted him like six times while the store intercom system went off. Nothing. 

Bucky wasn't worried.

Yet. 

"Do you have a first aid station?"

"Uh," the salesclerk said. "Technically, yes, because safety and liability, but there's never anyone there."

"Just point me, I'll check on it," he said. Clint was often sporting any number of bandaids and wrist compression grips from hurting himself.

It did take him a while to find the first aid station. But Clint wasn't there either.

Bucky even checked the kitchen area, since Clint had once fallen asleep on the table in Steve apartment and called it the best night of sleep he'd ever had.

Finally, sitting in one of the kitchen chairs, face buried in his hands, Bucky remembered a conversation they'd had, about Clint's brother Barney. 

"He always got the top bunk," Clint had complained. And you know I like high places."

“Miss,” he said. She didn’t look happy that he’d come back again, still sans companion. "Do you have any kid's beds? Like for two kids sharin' a room?"

The salesclerk looked at him as if he’d lost his mind, but that was okay. He was pretty sure she’d decided that he was imagining a roommate entirely. That said, she didn’t follow him this time, when she pointed the direction. Let the crazy guy be someone else’s problem.

The kids’ rooms were cute, the walls were shorter, and everything was colorful. Bright blue and red, purple or pink. Giant numbers, letters, and animals painted on it. Adult furniture was boring. Brown, light brown, reddish brown, chrome, white, or black.

It was no wonder people had kids; kept you from drowning in how boring being an adult could be.

And there was Clint, tucked up on one of the top bunks.

Sound asleep.

“Wake up, beautiful,” Bucky said, leaning over Clint, his mouth practically buzzing Clint’s hair. He ended it with sticking his tongue in Clint’s ear, which got him swatted and nearly knocked off the ladder, but it was worth it.

Absolutely.

“Yuck,” Clint said, finger in his ear, wiggling it around. “No call for that.”

“Sure there was,” Bucky said. “Let’s go, Sleeping Beauty.”

Clint yawned. “Yeah, we’re all done here?”

“I’ve been walkin’ around here for nearly an hour looking for you. I’m done.”

They were most of the way back to their apartment when Clint groaned. “Aw, bed, no.”

“Huh?”

“We didn’t-- we were there for hours, and we didn’t pick one!”

“Guess I’m squashin’ you in the twin again tonight,” Bucky said.

“There are worse fates.” 

[quierick]

runaway // zabdiel de jesus

[ pairing ] badboy!zabdiel x reader

[ word count ] 10.3k

[ genre; part ] fluff, romance, drama, angst; oneshot 

[ sum. ]  

“if you run up we can runaway. i know you think about it everyday. i cannot say no to the pretty face. baby, we can lean in it” - runaway

[ tag list ]  @smoljoelito @richukisbb @mepuserojito @cnc-oh-boi @dimelo-cnco @ericksmamita @joelsaww @marveloucnco @christiiineexx @besosdecnco @zabdielsdimples @cnco-babes @sevuelveloca394 @m1jita-flores @richardsbbygirl @undeadspazzattack @zabdielsqueenb @cnchoebaby @cncoh-damn @h-bea92 @estefania723 [ join tag list here ]

[ a/n ]  this is for @ericks-mala-actitud 300 contest! i loosely used the prompt for some inspiration but the main idea of this fic is a back story to zabdiel in de cero. also the italics means that it is a flashback. enjoy!

“Zabdiel...” You giggled as pushed your boyfriend away from your neck which he was just kissing. You watched him break out into a small chuckle as his hands cupped your face, looking at you with his dark eyes. 

“Mi amor, just a little longer?” He whined which made you roll your eyes quickly as you knew there was no way you could tell him no. Zabdiel wasted no time to attack your lips with his own. His kisses always made your stomach flutter, a sensation you never get used to. After a minute of two you pushed him away once more. 

“Okay, I really have to go now.” You told him. He put a small pout on his face as he finally sat up. He grabbed the shirt off the bed and slipped it on, covering the tattoos on his chest and back. You bit your bottom lip as you sat up, buttoning your own shirt. You hated this part of your relationship. The way it always had to end at 5 PM, the way you could only be a couple in his bedroom, the way your family hates him. You sighed as leaned onto his back, draping your arms around his neck to encase him in a soft hug and then pressing a small peck on the side of his cheek. “I’m sorry. I love you.”

“I know, I love you too.” Zabdiel whispered as he turned to place a small peck on your lips. His pout was gone as he smiled into the short kiss. He pulled away and you rested your head on his shoulder as you both didn’t want to leave just yet. He raised a hand to your cheek, caressing it softly. “Mi amor, I’m always going to love you.”

-- 

You woke up with a groan escaping. You sat up from your sleeping position as you turned to read the bright red letter to your right. The time read 8:02 and that’s all you need to raise into panic as you were now running late for work.

“What’s got you in a hurry?” The voice of your boyfriend, if you could even call him that, said with a chuckle. You rolled your eyes as rushed past him to the bathroom to go get ready. He always did this sort of thing, not caring about anyone other than himself. “Babe?”

“Don’t babe me. Don’t turn off the fucking alarm when I have to go work.” You seethed right before you started to brush your teeth. 

“You weren’t waking up, so I turned it off.” He told you which made you stop your actions, to turn towards him. You studied the way he was standing against the door frame, his arms were crossed and he should absolutely no remorse in his actions. You quickly rinse your mouth out and wiped the excess away before turning back to the man. 

“Look, I don’t who you think you are but this is my apartment. I turn off the alarm when I want, I get up when I want, I do what I want.” You exploded which caught him off guard, making him let out a series of chuckles. You grew angrier as you could see that he was obviously not taking your seriously. “You know what, leave. This little whatever-we-had is over.”

“Whatever-we-had? We’re dating!” He outburst as he took a step backwards, away from you. You rolled you took a step out of the bathroom, following him. He took a seat on the edge of the bed still letting out a couple of airy laughs, trying to ignore your previous statement. You crossed your arms and looked to his sitting frame. “Well, it’s over. Pack your shit and leave.”

“Are you serious?” He asked as he ran a hand through his hair. He sighed as he stood up from where he was sitting. “You know, You’re right. We never really had anything because of you. You’re still fucking hung up on that guy, the one from high school? Look, you put on the stupid damn bracelet again.”

“This has no-”

“Bullshit. You just don’t want to look pathetic, but you are.” He jabbed at you with his eyes never left you. You shake your head and close your eyes, turning away from him. “See, you can’t even tell me I’m wrong.”

“Whatever, I have to go to work. Just get out of here.” You told him as you wandered into the bathroom to go wash your face. You entered the bathroom, closing the door as you looked down to your wrist which had the bracelet Zabdiel had given to you. Your hands lightly went over to the jewel and sighed. You put it unconsciously, like every other day. You hated to admit but the man angrily packing his clothes in your bedroom was right, you weren’t over Zabdiel. However, that doesn’t matter as that relationship was left in the past. 

--

“Ah, it’s so cold.” You shivered as you entered Zabdiel’s small apartment. You could hear Zabdiel let out a little giggle as he locked the door behind you both. It was pouring outside and you both ran to his apartment as quick as you could but that didn’t save you from getting completely soaked. 

“Mi amor, go ahead and jump in the shower. I will throw your clothes in the wash.” He told as he kissed the top of your head. You smiled at his actions but then you turned and draped your heavily drenched arms and draped them around Zabdiel neck.  He raised an eyebrow as he copied your actions, wrapping his arms around your frame. You watched his dark curls to stick to his skin and his dark eyes as they  never leaving your own.You didn’t have anything to say you just wanted to stay in this moment forever. “Mi mujer, you’re going to get sick.”

You ignored his words as you stared at the smile that broke onto his face. You knew that he didn’t know what you were doing, if you were honest, you didn’t either. All you knew was that you wanted to be in his arms and stare into his beautiful features forever. You felt your eyes soften as you stared into his beautifully confused ones. “I love you.”

“I love you,” He replied immediately. It was nothing you hadn’t heard before but every time those words left his mouth, they left you feeling as if you were on cloud nine. You felt him his lips press against your forehead. “More than anything....”

You lifted your face as a way to tell him that you wanted an actual kiss now, he chuckled as he complied with you desires. His lips were colder than you expected but you didn’t hesitate to pull him closer by his neck. You could feel Zabdiel break a smile into the kiss as be bent a little so the kiss could get more intimate. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Zabdiel pulled away. His hands left your waist as they went to cup your cheeks. He gave them a light pinch before placing a quick peck on your left cheek.. “Now, go shower before you get sick.”

“I won’t.” You pouted as you dropped your hands from him neck. You knew that if you went to take a shower now then the time your guys would have would be cut shorter than what it already was. 

“You will. If you get sick, then I would have to days without seeing you.” He argued in a soft voice. You let out a puff of air and rolled your eyes. There wasn’t a way you could win this battle so you turned to the bedroom and then turned back to Zabdiel, trying to get him to side on you. He let out a soft chuckle before he grabbed your shoulder and manually turned you towards the room himself. You grumbled as you took your way to his dark bedroom. The only light was the one entering through the dark curtains, but with it being so dark outside there was barely any light. You flipped the switch of the bedroom which didn’t light the room as much as anyone would expect, the apartment that Zabdiel had was far from what you could call nice. The sink was broken, the lights barely worked, the water pressure was horrid, the fire alarm goes off at least three times a week,  the neighbors were always fighting, but even through all of that, this was your happy place. The only place in the world where you can love Zabdiel as freely as you want, no worry about your family finding out, no worry about anything. Just you and the love of your life being as happy as you could be. 

You ventured over the familiar drawers in his closer and pulled out a pair of boxers and then proceeded to look at the variety of sweaters and hoodies you had to choose from. You chose his pink one that he only ever wore inside. Though he has this bad boy exterior to the outside world, you are one of the few who knew about his love of cute colored things. You hugged the hoodie, taking in Zabdiel’s lingering scent. You quickly moved to start the shower so you could hurry with your shower so you could go back to kissing your boyfriend. The shower was mediocrely warm but it was enough to out beat the cold rain drops that your had you drench prior. Quickly washing your hair and body with the sad products that Zabdiel had, your shower was done at a hasty pace. You changed into the clothes you had stolen from Zabdi’s wardrobe a few minutes ago but as you did so you could see that your boyfriend had snuck into the bathroom to take your wet clothes. Once fully dressed with your hair barely dry, you hopped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom where you boyfriend surprisingly wasn’t. He usually laid on the bed, relaxing whenever you had to take a shower. You curiously turned down the hallway to find him in the kitchen where he stood standing over the stove, letting out a trail of curse words. “Zabdi?”

“Ah, are you done already?” He questioned as you could tell that he was shocked to hear your voice as you do have a track record of taking long showers. You smiled for your answer as you also lifted an eyebrow as a way to ask what he was doing. “Well, we weren’t able to get something to eat since its raining and everything, I was going to make you something but this damn stove...it sucks.”

“It’s okay, I’m not hungry.” You lied as you smiled once more. He turned to look at you with an unimpressed face as he then turned back to the stove top playing a little more with the burner until a small burst of fire appeared. You boyfriend let out a small cheer as you felt your heart drop. “Zabdiel! Be careful!”

He let out a genuine laugh as he turned to you, he leaned over to you with puckered lips. You, of course gave him a small peck but that followed with a slap to his arm. Zabdiel let out another laugh then turned back to the stove where he was melting some butter. He smirked as he turned to open the fridge really quick. “I hope you like...uh eggs.”

You giggled yourself as you took in the sight of your boyfriend. He primarily survived on food from the lady down the street who ran a small food stand of Boricua food, never really having much to cook for himself. This was solely due to the fact that he didn’t know how to cook, your mind reminiscenced of the time he tried to cook you a genuine dinner which ended up being a major failure. You silently watched as he cracked an egg into the pan, a small cure leaving his lips as immediately started to pick out eggshells with the fork. “Babe, do you want me to cook?”

‘No,no. I got this.” Zabdiel replied proudly as intensely watched the egg cook. You watched with love filled eyes as you he panicked and cursed at the meal he was cooking. You had no expectations for the results but just seeing the amount of effort he was putting into cooking made you not care. He slide your food onto a paper plate he pulled from the cabinet above. “Ta-dah!”

You eyed the meal in front of you. Despite his best efforts, the eggs were slightly burned. You smiled to your boyfriend who had an expecting face. His worried face turned into a smile. He then clapped his hands together as opened his fridge once again. “La tia, she gives me lots of tortillas which will make it better.”

He took out an aluminum covered package and quickly threw it into the microwave and started to press buttons. You stood from your spot in worry as you looked at you boyfriend in panic. “Zabdiel, no!”

Your large boyfriend turned to you with his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to understand what you were yelling about. “The metal! Zabdi you can’t microwave metal!”

“Ah!” He exclaimed as he quickly opened the microwave and took the small stack of tortillas out. He let a small chuckle before placing them on a plate. You sighed in relief as you sat back down in your seat with your heart still racing, you wondered how he had forgotten such a thing. Once they were down he turned with a proud smile as he placed the tortillas next to the eggs. He could tell that you weren’t pleased with what just happened so he nervously put his hand on the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact with you. “You see, I usually just get tortillas there so I don’t have to worry about cooking. These were just left over, it  just slipped my mind.”

You raised an eyebrow as you reached for a warm tortilla. This event that just happened made you even more nervous about Zabdiel living by himself as he always seemed to mess something up. He didn’t know how to wash his clothes so he just kept buying new cheap white tank tops at the flea market, he had no idea he had to pay a water bill until you had to complain about the insanely cold shower you had to take, and now the microwave you were scared for him. You nibbled at the tortilla as you waited for your boyfriend to take a seat with you. He was rummaging through his cabinets to find a cup so you guys could drink something, finally he found an old mug that he or his friends hadn’t broken yet. Zabdiel filled the small glass with tap water before he took a seat next to you. “You know, you make so worried when you do stuff like that.”

“Ah, mamita,” Your boyfriend sighed as he grabbed a tortilla for himself. He bit off a large piece of it off and started to chew obnoxiously loud. You rolled your eyes at him which then prompted him to do it even louder, and with his mouth still full he began talking. “You don’t need to worry about me. I am perfectly fine.”

“Ay, okay. Just stop talking with your mouth full.” You say as you tried to suppress a laugh that did you no good as a giggle was let loose. You watched as your boyfriend leaned back in his chair with a perfect little grin was placed on his face. 

“There is the laugh I love.” Zabdiel said softly. You could feel yourself blush, nothing like when two had first started dating but still enough for Zabdiel to notice. He just had this way with you, something that made you never want to leave.  There was nothing about Zabdiel that turned you away. He wasn’t the best student, but he is kind. He doesn’t care, but he believes in you. He doesn’t let people in, but he feels like home. He was perfect for you. 

You both ate the food with little small talks filling in some of the silence. The plate was quickly finished as Zabdiel didn’t seem to realize 3 eggs isn’t much to fill up the both of your. “Should I make some more?” 

“No, I’m full.” You fibbed. You loved your boyfriend, you truly did but the eggs were probably more bland than anything you have you ever eaten in your life. You quickly smiled as you caught a glimpse of Zabdiel eyeing you. “It was good! I ate most of it!”

“Ah...You liar.” He sucked his teeth as he picked up the plate. He then broke out into a loud laugh which caught you by surprise. “It was...disgusting. I’m so sorry… You really did eat all of those nasty flavorless eggs…”

Your jaw dropped as you watched you boyfriend hurry to pick up the dishes. You lightly slapped his arm as it reached down in front of you. You tried so hard to eat the food he worked so hard to make and there he was admitting that it was gross. “I can’t believe this... You let me suffer like that?”

“Lo siento, mi amor.” Zabdiel said softly as he placed a quick peck on the side of your cheek. You rolled your eyes as you watched Zabdiel leave towards the kitchen. You began to pout slightly so you could get your boyfriend to notice you which of course he did. You watched as he broke out into another laugh. He dropped the plates into his tiny sink and walked back over to the spot where you were still sitting. “Hm? Let me go make this up to you, yeah?”

Your pout broke into a small smirk as you let your boyfriend’s large hand encase yours as he pulled you towards the bedroom. The room was still dark and the sound of the harsh rain was loud against the window which didn’t matter much to you as you quick came plopping down onto your boyfriend who was laid out on the bed. You looked at his dark curly hair and ran one of your hands through it. His hair was so soft and delicate, you absolutely loved it. Someone who also loved you playing with his hair was Zabdiel himself. You saw his eyes close with pleasure which made you happy at such a scene but after a minute you gave him hair a soft yank. “Hey, I thought you were making it up to me?”

“Ah,” Zabdiel said as he opened his eyes slowly. He snaked a hand around your waist and swiftly flipped you over so know his larger frame was looming over yours. You bit your lip before pulling the rosary that was draped around his neck to pull him into a kiss, which he easily complied with. He moved his hand from your waist to start trailing up inside the oversized hoodie. “Have I ever told you how hot it is when you wear my clothes?”

“Hmm,” You hummed as you but your lips rolling your eyes in a cute fashion before finding your boyfriend’s love filled ones. “You might have mentioned it once or twice.”

“Well, I should tell you more often.” Zabdiel mumbled as he moved back down for a kiss before you socul say anything, the less talking the better. Zabdiel cut his kisses shortened as he started to trail down the edge of your collarbone. You bit your lips as you tried to take in the feeling of him kissing your neck as long as you could, but as he started to focus on a spot you both knew all too well, you had to push him away. You boyfriend pulled away from you with a worried look. “Eh? Que paso? Esta bien?”

You let out an airy giggle as you shake your head to ease him of his nervousness. Zabdiel was so gentle and caring, you never had to worry about him doing anything you didn’t want him to. You sighed as you began to sit up which the tall male followed you actions as he got from on top of you. “It’s not you, last time we kinda… you know… and there was a mark. My parents got totally freaked but luckily I covered it up with a lie about a book falling on me.”

Zabdiel let out a silent nod, he understood the condition about your parents. Of course, he hated it but he would rather deal with it rather than not have you at all. You nibbled on your bottom lip in guilt as you tried to read what was on his mind. Before you could think of something to say to fill the tense silence, you watched your curly haired lover stand up off the bed. “Zabdi…?”

Zabdiel didn’t answer you, instead he walked over to his dresser. He rummaged through his pants draw for a quick second, pulling out a small black velvet drawstring bag. You could see him fiddling with the strings in nervousness which must of been contagious as you felt your stomach swirling trying to understand what was happening. Your boyfriend stood in front of you for a moment, taking a deep breath before looking up to find you eyes. “Mi amor, I’m sorry about always getting you in trouble. I just can’t help it… I truly love you so much…”

You were speechless, you had heard Zabdiel say these words at least a thousand times before but with the sincerity in his voice you couldn’t comprehend anything, all you knew was the boy in front of you is most definitely the love of your life. You snapped out of your trance of admiring your boyfriend when he broke the silence with a clearing of his throat. 

“I got these a while ago,” Zabdiel began as he started to open the small pouch. There were two bracelets with an amethyst jewel connected to it. He took a step forward and held one of the pieces of jewelry out to you. You gently grabbed it and took in the beauty of the bracelet. It was sleek and simple but so pretty and the best part was the the shy face that your lover had as he watched you look at it in awe. “I know they aren’t the prettiest or the most expensive...but I want to be connected to you, always... Y/n, I’m so crazy about you.”

You weren’t one to be emotional but watching your boyfriend be so raw and heartfelt with you, there was no other choice but to let you emotions through. Tears swelled up in you eyes which you swiftly tried to sniffle them back but there was no use since on had already fallen. “Ah, Mi Amor? I can get you something else...please don’t cry…”

“Aye, I’m not crying because of that!” You snapped to you boyfriend as you looked up to see anxious face. You let out another empty laugh as you wiped the tears away from you face. “Zabdiel, I love it. I’m going to treasure it...If you call it ugly one more time, I will hurt you.”

You viewed as his face turned from nervous to blissful in a matter of seconds. You turned your attention away from your boyfriend and clicked the bracelet onto your wrist, taking a moment to admire the subtle beauty of the jewelry. You then lifted your head to smile at your boyfriend who stood there admiring you. You reached you grab his hand and pulled him closer. His skin was cold yet intensely hot to you, you wanted to hold his hand forever. You took the bracelet from his fingers and clasped in on him. You trailed you fingers over it for a second, having your eyes go from his wrist to your own. You felt a sense of ease as now you could be known as Zabdiel’s girlfriend without hickeys on your neck or secret hideout dates. With this bracelet you guys were attached to each other without others having to know. A grin started to grow on your face as you looked back up to you expectant boyfriend. “Look, now we’re connected.”

Zabdiel put on a soft smile as he bent down to place a kiss on your lips again. He intertwined his fingers with his own. You could feel the passion, the genuine love within in his kiss. As if you needed anything more to melt about later on when you lay in bed thinking about today he broke a word into your kiss which made your heart leap. “Always.”

---

“Late again, L/n?” You heard your boss call out once you entered the office. You mentally rolled your eyes as you put on an apologetic look, letting out empty apologies. You could see your his put on a smug look as he handed you a pile of small files which you immediately internally groaned at. “Since, you don’t want to take your job seriously, you take care of the minor disputes.”

“Sir, this isn’t my area...” You spoke softly, trying to snap at the taller man. He gave you a smirk and a small shrug as he walked past you and towards his own office. You were ignored and embarrassed. You worked hard to get to where you were but that doesn’t change the fact that you were merely an intern, working at a pathetic wage. It just showed how much this county cared about the people, as they left it up to you to tell the criminals their charges and fees. You knew it was because the real cops didn’t want to deal with the people pleas and profanity. You dropped your bag at the pathetic excuse of a desk. Your eyes turned to your fellow intern who was sitting across from you, you view him updating files. He gave you an apologetic nod as he had obviously watched how your boss had embarrassed you. “What made him give you files?”

“I bought the wrong creamer.” He sighed as he continued to type on the computer. You nodded, as you took a step out of the intern’s cub. The interns were treated so badly that it was practically a joke. You held the papers files in your hand with nothing but an annoyed look as   you stopped at the front desk to greet your favorite person in the office. He was an officer but he usually dealt with missing cases and informing families on any news/evidence that was added to their cases. “Hey!”

“Ah Y/n! Good Morning...stuck with minor disputes again?” He asked in a quiet voice as you could only give him a lowly nod. He gave you a quick frown and tapped his fingers against the corner of his desk. “You would think that would be considered illegal...I can help out, bring the prisoners to you so you don’t have to hear any of those lowlife catcalls.”

“Yes, that would be such a big help.” You told him as you recalled the times when the people behind the bars would slur drunken curses and even spit at you, it was a nerve wracking situation that you were happy to not have to be in. He gave you a thumbs up as he reached for the keys that resided besides his computer monitor. You sighed as you began making your way to the conference room with a stack of files in your hands, some were small and short which usually mean that they had no track record while others who had multiple offences had a larger folders. “007 is up first.” You called out so you could get this done as fast as you could. 

You went through the people as quick as you could since most of them were truly minor, but eveen with your quick pace you were already four hours in and you were getting tired. Most of the people you had actually known, there was a party yesterday and many people had gotten caught which resulted in them getting detained for drinking underage and smoking weed. They we’re given a small slap on the wrist, in other words 20 hours of community service and a two hundred dollar fine. You grew tired of repeating the same phrases so as odd as it sounded, you enjoyed the moment you got to the bigger problems, a change from college kids crying on how their parents were going to kill them. There was only one big file for today and you decided to take a peek at who it was, opening the file to find a picture of a boy you hadn’t seen in three long years. You stared at the picture to see the almost unfamiliar brown eyes that held little to no emotion in them. Shaking your head slightly as you tried to tell yourself that it wasn’t the boy you knew but once your eyes trailed to the name, you couldn’t lie to yourself even farther once you saw it. Zabdiel De Jesus

----

“Nena,” Your boyfriend laughed as he knocked on your bedroom window. Usually the idea of Zabdiel coming even within two streets of your home was totally off the table out of the fear that your parents finding out but this was a special occurrence of your parent’s yearly visit to your grandmother who lived across the country. You giddily cracked the window open. Zabdiel had a duffel bag filled with clothes for him to spend the night. He pulled the window open with little to no problem which was incredibly sexy to you as you barely had half the strength to pull it open three inches. Your boyfriend reached the duffel bag into the room, dropping it softly on the ground then he climbed through the window himself. He turned to quickly close the window before it rained again as rain always seemed to love to show up at random times. Zabdiel turned to you who was standing at the edge of your bed with your hands clasped together as if you were holding your breath, which you were. This is the first time Zabdiel had ever agreed to spend the night with you. He draped his arms around your neck and bent down to place a kiss on your lips. “Mi amor, you look nervous… I don’t have to stay the night if it worries you.”

“No, no. I’m sorry, I don't know what is wrong with me.” You admitted to him. Zabdiel has been in your bedroom before but the thought of him staying the night was just something new. You were scared you would be caught.

“Y/n, don’t worry. Your aunt, she already checked in, no?” He asked as he rubbed your arms slightly to calm you down. You gave him a shallow nod. He then proceeded to ask if your parents sent you their obligatory phone call tell you that they arrived safely and you gave him another nod. Zabdiel smiled as he pecked your lips softly. “There is no need to worry, I promise. I wouldn’t have agreed to stay over if I thought we would get caught.”

“Aren’t you tired of that?” You inquired as your neutral face turned into a frown as you thought more on what he had just said. Caught. You were getting tired of how it felt as if you and Zabdiel were something bad, something other than two teenagers in love. Your boyfriend gave a confused look as his eyes questioned what you meant. You let out a small sigh as you tried to collect a way to word it. “I mean, hiding around and never getting to be a real couple. You have to be tired of it, I am. I just don’t understand why you even bother with this, you have tons of other girls throwing themselves at you the second they see you.”

“Hey,” Zabdiel eased as he looked at you with soft eyes and his hands reached up to cup your face. You looked into his gaze and you could already tell what he was going to say. “Y/n, I love you. I love you more than anything and if sneaking around town means I can be with you then that is what I will do with no complaints. I just want you. One day, we can be able to hold hands and love each other freely without having to worry about anyone else, not even the girls who dream of me.”

You let a chuckle due to his last words. He always said these words to you when you got nervous or angry about your relationship. Zabdiel was a dictionary definition of a perfect boyfriend; he listens, he cares, he waits, and he is head over heels in love with you. Yet the stress within you never let up. You both always talked about the day you would walk the streets holding hands without caring about a single thing but that wasn’t enough for you anymore. “When?”

“What?...When?” Your boyfriend repeated with a confused look taking over his face. You could see that he didn’t understand where you were getting at so you took another deep breath and clarified. “When do we get to be a normal couple?” You affirmed.

“When...When do you want to be?” He questioned as he looked down to your lips. He didn't wait for you to notice as he pressed a kiss onto your lips. Zabdiel had taken a step forward which made you take one back, this had you bumping into the bed. You tried to keep the kiss going while still trying to keep you balance but your boyfriend leaned in even more which made you fall back into the bed, breaking the intimate moment. “What do you want, mi amor?”

“I want you, Zabdiel.” You told him has your eyes focused on his serious face and you knew the words you spoke were completely true. Your heart raced in anticipation of what was going to happen next. You saw Zabdiel lean down to induce you into another kiss, this one being more tender than the last one but you didn’t care, the way you were feeling right now, you just wanted to kiss this boy for the rest of your life. Zabdiel quickly moved from your lips and began to trail pecks down your neck until he pulled away once more. You both locked eyes with each other, just rolling in nothing but love. You placed one hand on his cheek, rubbing your thumb under his eye softly. “Let’s do it.”

“W-what?” Zabdiel asked with shock obvious in his tone. You broke into a small chuckle as you realized where his mind had gone to. You rolled your eyes and dropped your hand away from his face. He gave you a confused look, wondering what you were talking about. You lightly tapped his chest to signal him to move aside. Zabdiel lazily pulled away from you with his puzzled stare never leaving you. You sat up turning to your adorably, clueless boyfriend. You reached for his hand. You used both of your hands to enclose one of his large ones. 

“Let’s runaway.” You blatantly told him. You watched as Zabdiel tilted his head, still not fully understanding what the hell you were talking about. You took a quick deep breath as you rubbed one of your thumbs over his knuckles, using this short time to collect you thoughts. You were on the edge, about to burst with all your emotions but you didn’t want to confuse the large boy even more. “My love, we are never going to get to be that couple we dream about. Not here, in this town at least.”

“So, you want to leave?” Zabdiel trailed immediately. His face was serious and sincere, he was listening to your words with an open mind and heart. You could feel you heart beat start to pick up with the intensity that he was giving you. 

“I can leave this all behind for you.” You stated with no hesitation. You were being truthful with yourself for once. You wanted to be with Zabdiel more than anything. Your desire for Zabdiel was nothing but greedy, too much was never enough for you. The days you can’t be with him felt so empty and so punishing, longing for nothing but to feel his embrace once more. When you first started this relationship, you thought the secrecy of dating of him was the fuel to the passion within you however that was never the case. It was him. He made you feel like a different person, your true self.  You always had expectations and an appearance to keep up with everyone around you but once you were with Zabdiel, it all disappeared. He loved your raw side, the one with no filter. You loved that about him too, you loved everything about him. He was the one who made you stomach flip and your head spin with every little thing he did. 

“Y/n, what about school? Your family?” He questioned. Zabdiel was all the way in, he always was when it came to you but he knew how you always got ahead of yourself in your ideas. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. You were expecting this from Zabdiel, he was always the cautious one. He kept his feet on the ground, having no problem taking your relationship one step at a time while you fell onto the spirited side of your relationship, hoping for the impossible.

“School? I graduated. My family? Zabdiel, they don’t care about what I want, so I have to do this for myself. I am finally going to be my own person. I don’t care anymore. I want you. I want you so much, Zabdiel-” You sentence was interrupted with his lips crashing onto your own. You squeezed his hand as the other one found a place on your neck, pulling you deeper into the kiss. His tongue slipped into your mouth and you could feel tender emotions, on a scale that you have never experienced from him before. Zabdiel was always the one to have a rough exterior, you were never able to truly tell his feelings yet there were times like these where they were painfully apparent, times where holding nothing back. 

Finally, after what seemed like a blissful eternity, Zabdiel pulled away with taking a moment to recollect his breath while always loving gazing into your eyes. You saw his dark orbs filled with so much eagerness and admiration, you were lost in them. He broke into a small smile as he pressed his forehead to your own. He closed his eyes and “Let’s go.”

---

 The name placed in front of you caused you heart begin to race with panic. You must’ve reread the letter arrangements a thousands times trying to convince yourself that there was no way it was you Zabdiel. The door, as if on cue, let out an obnoxiously loud creak and you swiftly turned your head anxiously, the appearance of a familiar face killed any of you hopes of this being a wholesome coincidence. 

You could see his dark brown orbs grow at the sight of you. You felt your own eyes grow in size but you turned your head quickly, not wanting to let on any ideas. You cleared your throat loudly as you returned your sight back to Zabdiel. His eyes looked as if they never left your body for even a second which made you heart race in an all too familiar. 

“This is your last one for today. Your hours will be up so if you want to get this one over quick.” The guard reassured and you were sure there was no reason because you planned to get this over with as soon as you could. Zabdiel silently took a seat in the chair across from you with his handcuffed hands against his lap. This wasn’t the Zabdi you once knew, the bleach blonde locks falling into his forehead were unfamiliar. The dark look in his eyes was unfamiliar. The tattoos across his chest, unfamiliar. You couldn’t find the soft-hearted Zabdiel you were once in love with. You nodded for your buddy to leave yet you wished for him to stay behind so you could avoid the staring boy in front of you. You watched his figure walk through the door and with a silent sigh you turn back to Zabdiel who had an unimpressed expression. “You’re a cop?

“W-what? No,” You stutter surprised by the low tone he used. His voice was always so sweet and tender but he held almost no emotion in his words. You fiddled with the paper in front of you while you tried to compose yourself together, not wanting to continue to be an anxious mess. You took a small breath before you began to talk. “I am interning here while I study at the college.”

“What was that?” You heard him as in a louder voice. You lifted your eyes to meet your own and you had no other option but to assume that was his goal as a smirk played on his lips showing the view of his dimple that makes his sight familiar to an extent which somehow breaks your heart in too many ways. You blink your eyes away from him before whispering. “You heard what I said.”

The room fell silent. You were filling out the papers while having your ears sensitive to almost any sound, almost as if you hoping for him to continue to say something. You fought of the intense urge to sneak peeks towards Zabdiel, you felt that if you were caught then you would feel guilty. 

“Hmm…” He hummed and you lifted your head to look at him practically the moment the sound left his mouth. You felt as if you were being played as you watched the smirk on his face grow in size. You bit you lips as you turned your head back down to the paperwork. It hurt to see him yet it was hard to look away. “Your hair is shorter.”

“And you're blond.” You commented in a soft voice. Even though you loved the brown, this wasn’t the boy you once knew.

“Do you like it? Chris and RIchard did it. I thought-” Zabdiel cut himself when he brought up an unfamiliar name to your ears. You looked at him wanting to hear more, learn more about this new person he had become. Your eyes silently begged for him to continue. He could talk about anything and you would gladly take in every word. For the first time, his head was turned towards the window, avoiding your gaze. You bit your bottom lip. You were torn in speaking up and keeping silent, you had to go with the later because it wasn’t fair to him. You were never fair to him. “It’s too hard.” 

“Wh-”

“Don’t ask what. You know exactly what.” Zabdiel turned his vision back onto you with his eyes boring into your own with pain and betrayal flaring within them. You almost uttered some words of apology to him but you stopped yourself because in no way would that help your situation. Zabdiel gave you an eye roll when he saw that you had nothing to say and turned his attention back onto anything in this meeting room that would get his eyes away from you. Keeping your side quiet, you anxiously watched your former boyfriend.. He finally brought the words you have been dreading to hear into the air. “Did you get what you want?” 

--

You fiddled with the bracelet that was, for the first time, not attached to your wrist. You were taking time to build up the courage to walk over to your happily-nervous boyfriend who was standing underneath the oak tree on the hill just above you. You could feel you breath hitch when you caught a view of him. He was as beautiful as he always, a smile cute smile on his face and his hands clasped together. Zabdiel was waiting for you with his whole life packed at his feet and here you stood with no baggage in sight. You blinked back the tears that were threatening to slip out. You knew if you were going to do this you would have to have no tears. That isn’t fair to Zabdiel.

You climbed the hill with steep steps and the smile on your boyfriend’s face grew tremendously, shrinking for a millisecond when he noticed there was no luggage with you but he resumed his smile once you had finally reached him. You tried to go at an extremely slow pace to bring you courage up but there would never be enough time for that. The moment you saw his innocent smiling face and caring eye, you knew there was no possible way for you to do this without breaking your own heart. “Mi amor, tu maleta? Were they too heavy to bring up here? Want me to go gra-”

“Zabdiel…” You cut him off in a short breath. You heart was racing in nervousness as you still fiddled with the bracelet in your hands. Once Zabdiel could see that the jewelry wasn’t on you he knew something was up so he waited for you to continue, giving you time to develop the words that sat on the tip of your tongue. “...there isn’t and luggage....”

“Why?” He questioned in a tender voice. His demeanor was soft and warm, you could probably count on one hand how many times he had gotten mad with you. Your felt your chest physically hurt as you looked into his understanding eyes, wanting you to explain what was going on. You turned away to look down to his shoes as tears dropped from your eyes. 

“I’m not go with you.” You let out in a choke as you sniffled to calm the tears that were no longer hesitant to fall. The words you dreaded to speak were now out in the open and you couldn’t bare to look at Zabdiel’s face for the next blow you were planning to deliver. 

“Mi amor? What happened?” Zabdiel’s kind voice spoke as his large hand reached your shoulder, rubbing it softly to help you calm yourself down. He let out small hush sounds as a way to tell you that there was no need to cry so much, a way to comfort you. That wasn’t what you wanted. You felt that you didn’t deserve for him to be so sweet towards you. Getting his hopes up only to let him down for what seems like the millionth time. You felt as he pulled you closed, wrapping his long arms around your shoulders while his hand landed on your head, making it lean into his chest. “Did your parents find out? Just tell me what happened…”

Your eyes squeezed shut at his statement. You let out a loud sob in guilt. It would have been so much easier if your parents caught onto your plans with Zabdiel. Yet here you stood bagless, and no parents to blame. You agonized for hours trying to decide between your family and your dreams or Zabdiel, your answer is painfully obvious. You shake your head in Zabdi’s chest as one of your hands found his abdomen, you pushed yourself away from your beloved boyfriend. You raised your eyes to meet his soft ones, his saddened expression was hard to look at. It broke you heart so much more than you ever could have imagined. You sniffled and took a deep breath, deciding to own up to your decision because he deserves that in the least. “No, Zabdiel. My parents aren’t the reason I showed up with no suitcase.”

“If not your parents...what? What was it?” His expression was hurt and confused, not following on what you were getting at. You licked your lips for a quick second thinking of your next words, trying to place the feelings you were feeling into words yet there wasn’t anyway to do that. Taking one of his hands, you placed the bracelet, you were holding onto dearly, in the center of his large palm. Zabdiel looked down to his fist and then back to your face to try to understand what this action meant. Your eyes cowardly avoided his gaze. “Y/n…? What the hell does this mean?”

You closed your eyes again taking your hundredth deep breath, you turned your head back toward Zabdiel. You don’t get to be the coward here, you decided this. You have to go through with it. “Zabdiel...I can’t go with you. I sat home last night, packing for today. I was on my fourth pair of pants when I saw my acceptance letter. Zabdiel, I can’t leave that behind. I worked my whole life to get there and my parents, I can’t say goodbye to them. They wouldn’t approve of us, I know but to never see them again? I can’t do that to them. Zabdiel… I’m so so so sorry.”

Midway through your speech, Zabdiel was the one to turn his eyes away from you. You swallowed the lump in you through as you waited to hear something from him, anything at all. You wanted to know what he was feeling, you wanted him to let all his emotions loose. You were shocked when you abruptly felt the bracelet being shoved back into your hand while his eyes snapped back onto yours. You blinked in confusion. “You keep that. Keep it as a reminder that I wasn’t enough for you.” 

Zabdiel let go of your hand as he took a few steps away from you, he dipped down to pick up the duffel bag. You took a few moments to comprehend the words Zabdi had just spoken to you. This was not how it was supposed to go down. You followed him swiftly, grabbing his arm in an effort to make him face you yet he shook off your grip. You had to take quick steps to get in front of him. You narrowed your gaze on his face which was enraged and upset, clearly not wanting to see you. “Zabdiel, I don’t feel that way at all. I love-”

“Bullshit.” He cut you off which made you jump in shock. His tone was as cold as ice, there was not a single trace of the warm Zabdiel in sight. You brows furrowed as you wanted to hear what he had to say, he had the right to let this out. He let out a trail of spanish curses as he lifted the duffel bag up for emphasis. “See this? I packed my whole life in here for you. I gave everything up for you. You know why? Because I love you. You say you can’t leave your dreams behind? Why can’t you go to a college near where we were going to go? Huh? Your parents? Never seeing them again? If your parents disowned you over me, then why would you want to ever see them? You don’t love me, you only love yourself.”

“You’re right.” You shrug with the tears spilling out of your eyes. “I do love myself. Zabdiel, I love you too. Why do you think I am standing here pathetically trying to get you to hate me? You have given up so much for me and I do this to you? Please, just let it all loose. I want to take the pain away from you…”

“That’s impossible. This hurts more than anything. Y/n, my heart is broken because of you. You can keep every reminder of us because I don’t want them. I don’t want this anymore, I don’t want to be a burden to you. Go after your dreams, live your life, do what you want.”

“Wait, Zabdiel. What is that supposed to mean?” You choked out. You had already expected this to be the end of your relationship yet you were still clinging onto a lingering hope that you both could work this out, like you always did. 

“Y/n...You made this choice.” He spoke coolly yet you could see the tears trickle down his beautiful face. You nodded as you cried harder. He was right, you did this because you were selfish. You have always been that way. You want to have your dreams but you still wanted Zabdiel, yet throwing everything away for him, scared you. 

“I’m sorry.” You say and you can see the hurt expression on his face as he sniffled back his own tears. Zabdiel slipped the duffel bag onto his shoulder as he began to walk past you. You turned to see the distance between the both of you grow more and more. You bit your lip before calling out to him for the last time. “Zabdiel, I will always love you.”

Almost as if you said the right words, Zabdiel dropped the duffel bag on the dirt road and turned the heel of his right foot. His actions were quick yet you perceived them in slow motion, almost as if this was a movie. It didn’t even take five seconds before he was standing in front of you. He looked at you, taking in your appearance just as you did to him. His tall frame was towering over your own, his dark curls were pushed back with his headband and his eyes were lit with a fiery passion and darkened with a deep sense of hurt. He brought his hand up to cup your face and his lips came crashing into your own. The kiss was far more intense than any of the ones you both had shared before and you found yourself drowning in it. You were trying to get the most out of it as you could, you knew that this was more than likely going to be the last time you were ever going to feel his lips. The kiss went on for minutes, the lack of breath made you knees weak but Zabdiel pulled away a moment sooner than too much. You sucked in air almost instantly, trying to give your lungs the oxygen they were denied for the past minute or two. You eyes hazily were drawn to focus on Zabdiel once more. He was taking a couple deep breaths himself and you wanted nothing more to pull him into another kiss, wanting to ignore the fact that in a minute he would turn his back to you once more and you would probably never see him again. Zabdiel dropped his hands from your face and you were shocked that you hadn’t even remembered that they were there. He took one long breath before he finally spoke his final words. “I hope you regret this for the rest of your life.”

--

“Of course not.” You answered quietly. You knew the mistake you made. You were scared of what your life would be with Zabdi alone yet somehow you never took into consideration how hard it was to be without him. You spent days worth of time imagining how your life would be if you would have gone with him that time. Yet the underlying fact was that you didn’t and no matter how hard you try, you can’t change the past. You drifted you gaze towards Zabdiel who was watching you with a familiar glimmer in his eyes. “I have regretted it... that day.”

“Me too.” He told you softly which caught your attention. You looked at him and his soft demeanor was somewhat apparent now. Though his appearance was not the same of the boy you said goodbye to on the hill, he was still Zabdiel. He could see your desperation for so sort of closure. “I was hurt but I had no idea what it would be like to not have you. I spent days coming to my apartment and even though I had all my valuables from my old place, I never felt at home so I would…”

“What?” You questioned further when he trailed him on the later half of his sentence. He let out a sigh and your mind raced with possibilities of what it could be. 

“I would just miss you. You made me happy and I messed that up being dramatic and childish.” He stated while he fiddled his fingers together. You were happy to hear those words yet there was a sour taste left in your mouth when you heard that he blamed himself for what happened between the both of you when it was clearly your actions that ended the relationship. “When I saw you, I was struck with all my emotions again and I wanted to be mad at you. I just can’t. Watching speak in such a soft voice and avoid looking at me, I hate it. Y/n, I want you back so bad. Please just tell me what I need to do and it’s done.”

“Wait, You’re asking me forgiveness? Zabdiel… I’m the one who ruined us.” you told him honest which made him shake his head not accepting your words. You rolled your eyes and began to speak up the many thought you had acquired through the years. “Zabdiel, you owe me no apology. I should be the one asking for a second chance. If it wasn’t for my stupid fear and irrational thinking, that day never would have happened.”

“Fear? What fear?” He asked with the same soft and sweet tone that he did back in the day when he was worried about you. 

“I was scared to leave. I said it was because of college and my parents but I don’t know, I was scared to change my whole life...because it was already perfect.” You said as you repeatedly clicked your pen in nervousness. It was true though, after the years of thoughts you had put in. You loved your teen years with Zabdiel, the only problem was you parents which was easily avoided since they were usually always working but changing everything with Zabdiel frightened you because life was never like the movies. People don’t live those fairy tale romances which was the main thing that scared you, what if by chance, Zabdiel were to fall out of love with you. That was the underlying fear which took a little too long to figure out. You looked back to the tall Puerto Rican man in front of you who was looking at you as if you were a precious gem. “I’m sorry. For that day, for breaking your heart, for everything…”

“I forgive you.” Zabdiel answered with no hesitation. The words slipped off his tongue as if he had been holding them there for such a long time. You blinked several times in shock but you could see the sincerity on his face which made you shake your head in disbelief, muttering that he was being irrational. There was just no way he could forgive you. He stood up in one action, picking up his hands which he had failed to remember that they were handcuffed. “I forgive you, Y/n. All gone, all forgotten. I mean it.”

You bit your bottom lip at the sound of his words. You couldn’t count the times you had dreamed of him saying those words to you and now here he was. You shook your head as you also stood up to get closer to eye level with him, he had grown at least and inch or two since the last time you had seen him. “Zabdiel…”

You grabbed his hands as silence filled the air. You rubbed your fingers over his now tattooed knuckles, slowly moving them up to reach the cold metal of the handcuff which were accompanied with a piece of jewelry. You dropped your head to look at his wrist and saw a familiar silver cuff with an amethyst jewel hanging off of the top. A smile creeped onto your face as you began to unlock the handcuffs locked around his wrist. He wore it. The words he told you weren’t coming from the rush of emotion from this sudden reunion. The fact that he was wearing this bracelet without possibly have knowing that you would be here, meant that he never got over what the both of you had, just like you. You looked up to his pleading eyes, and for a second you wondered how he could forgive you for what you had done to him. Yet just as you always were, you were selfish. You decided to throw the regret from that day away the second you started to lean into him. There was no use in hating that day any longer when here Zabdiel was, standing in front of you with his heart in his hands waiting for you to just reach out and grab it. It was painfully clear to you that Zabdiel was the love of your life and you weren’t going to stand there and waste this chance for you. Your lips found his in a tender kiss which you once again found yourself deeply falling into. The taste of his kiss you missed it for far too long. Pulling back out of the kiss which seemed too short for you, wishing to lean back into another kiss, you looked into the now familiar soft brown eyes that were filled with pure love and admiration. “I love you.” You spoke tenderly 

“Always.”

[thephantomofthe-internet]

A Kiss from the Afterlife

Rocker!Billy Hargrove x Holloway!Reader

Word Count: 3,989

Warnings: death mention!, alcohol, swearing, angst

Author’s note: I haven’t written in awhile, hope you guys still like me and my stuff, I like this story a lot personally

Tag List: @carolimedanvers​ @hotstuffhargrove​ @thechickvic​ @alex--awesome--22​ @lilmissperfectlyimperfect​ @so-not-hotmess​ @hawkeyeharrington​ @sunflowercandie​ @kaliforniacoastalteens​ @songforhema​ @spidey-pal​ @mickmoon​ @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ @marvelismylifffe​ @baebee35​

The assignment was clear. It was stupid, but it was clear. A fluff piece for the Indianapolis Tribune, reviewing local Indiana bands for state pride or some shit. It felt totally out of your element. You should be reviewing the latest new wave flash in the pan or whatever Michael Jackson single had been dropped and hit high enough on the top one hundred to pay attention to, which was almost every single. Much more important work than some garage bands going to open mic nights on the weekend and would break up in a month over a girl who everyone else would call their Yoko Ono.

This wasn’t worth your time.

But what Chris said go. Chris, your editor, was working under the assumption that fluff pieces about local work get more local readers. A sort of self-flagellation for a crappy state. So, you did as little research as possible to find three up and coming acts from around greater Indianapolis, finding three of the most boring seeming hair metal bands that might get successful, and found gigs to watch.

You promised yourself that you weren’t going farther than Gary, but Chris insisted on you going down to Carmel, apparently the band there was really popular and missing them would get too many letters to the editor. You begrudgingly agreed, but only because Carmel was just far enough from Hawkins to keep your mind at bay. You found solace knowing that the band would probably be the worst. Amateur bands with really good names always failed, it was the rule. Good bands got good names later.

And Crown of Thorns was a really good band name.

You’d found a slew of fans to interview in Carmel, according to them they were like Guns n’ Roses had a baby with Madonna’s Like a Prayer video-all religious imagery and hard rock sensibility. Sounded too good to be true. No garage band was that good. You wondered what they actually liked. Usually, the intense fans were either friends with or fucking the band members; groupies don’t just appear they start as girlfriends and boyfriends and buddies from high school looking for free booze. You don’t how many ex-girlfriends, boyfriends, and friends you’d talk to for your interviews for the dumb piece.

You wondered how many ex-girlfriends you’d interviewed for the preamble for Crown of Thorns. All their fans seemed to be women, at least the ones who wanted to be interviewed were. It was strange, usually there was a couple beer bros wandering around looking to talk about how some band so fucking awesome or whatever.

Still, you didn’t bother to question it. There was one perk of this assignment and that was not having to work the awful nine to five in stuffy professional attire. Well worn jeans and a baggy tee shirt beat blazers and heels any day of the damn week. You wandered into the venue late that night, the bar called The Muddy Duck which looked as terrible as its name was; you made a note to describe the place as kindly as you could.

The bar was dim and awful. It stunk of beer spilled hours ago and puke. So much puke. The place smelt so bad you wondered if they filled the walls with the stuff instead of insulation. The floor was sticky under your boots and people kept bumping against you. The band hadn’t even come onstage and someone had already spilt a drink on you, sticky liquid trailing down your back and making your skin crawling involuntarily. Some sloppy girl muttered “Sorry…” dropping her sugar crusted martini glass on the counter before stumbling off. You pulled the drenched material off your back before pushing your way to the front. The crappy lights above the milk crates the place was calling a stage had flashed on and the entire room fell into a hush. You pulled out your notepad, jabbing your pencil behind your ear.

Three hulking men took the stage, each scruffier than the last, most hunched over with their instruments strung around their backs; bass guitar and guitar and drumsticks shoved as far away from their person as possible. They all looked as if they didn’t want to be seen, you wrote that down, noting their homemade band merchandise and stringy unkempt hair.

Then, the crowd cheered. The forth member was climbing the steps, fluffy mullet bouncing with each of his steps. He turned to the audience, throwing up the horns in a dramatic pose, hands held in a ‘v’ over his head and head tipped back up at the ceiling. The ring of feminine screams washed over your ears, causing you to throw your hands over your ears, trying to save your ear drums from their squeals.

An elbow jabbed into your ribs, bringing your attention to a spiky looking Siouxie Sioux knockoff who was smirking down at you “If you can’t handle that, you aren’t going to be able to handle this show.” She said, her voice carrying over the sound of the crowd.

“Thanks for the tip.” You called back, writing down the quote, making a note to find her before you left, to get one good interview out of this mess.

The drummer had taken his seat, the guitarists pulling their instruments to the front of them. The singer took the microphone in his hands like it was his lover, his eyes scanning the scene. They met yours for the briefest of moments and recognition hit you like a freight train.

Billy god damn Hargrove. You wanted to die.

Of course you had to interview Hargrove. Of course he had his own shitty hair metal band even though it was 19 god damn 91 and hair metal was dying off like flies on fly paper. Of course he was trying to fuck the audience with his eyes. You prayed he didn’t recognize you. You prayed you could get through this interview without any spill ups. You just wanted to disappear from Hawkins bullshit and the people who made it awful. Billy Hargrove made it awful.

Billy Hargrove destroyed your family.

Heather was your little sister, your bratty baby sister who stole your clothes and destroyed your makeup and followed you around helplessly. She was your stuck up, immature, callus, popularity obsessed sister. She was a kid. You left Hawkins to go to college, to get away from your fighting parents and your mother’s slow descent into alcoholism. You went into journalism because it was the only thing you could relate to your father about and you wanted that praise. You stayed away from your family when you could, the mess growing too big for you to tackle. You tried to keep up with Heather, but she didn’t want check in from her older sister. She was too old for a babysitter, to be babied by her older sibling. She stopped answering your calls, so you stopped calling.

And then, she was gone. They were gone. Lost to some stupid fire in a stupid mall. Your whole family, just gone. There were a handful of survivors, and you didn’t blame them, but in your heart one person shouldn’t have been saved. And that was Hargrove. Why did the universe save a philandering womanizer with a penchant for bullying get to live when your baby sister had to die? How was that fair? If you’d ever fully believed in God, you lost your faith in them the day you found out about your sister.

And you never forgave Hawkins. You turned your back on the place, sold your family home and the newspaper, packed up what was important and gave the rest to Goodwill. Life wasn’t in Hawkins anymore, it was anywhere else. Indianapolis didn’t feel far enough yet, but it held a decent paying job and a life away from what hurt you.  A small change did more than enough to feel free of the ghosts chasing you from a joint grave plot.

The intro to their first song blared from the lead guitarist’s amp, filling the room with screeching metallic notes, far too fast to be the start of a song. You waited for the crash of cymbals or the mellow sound of the bass or even a note from Hargrove. The song opened with a minute long solo. You absolutely hated that, it stunk of the seventies psychedelic rock your older cousins would blast in the basement during Christmas parties, all claiming to be Satanists and against the holiday until their parents let them each have a beer. The sound left a sour taste in your mouth.

What didn’t help was the pure, wordless wail Hargrove let out as the guitar cut out. The audience was deathly silent, on the edge of their seats waiting for something. What it was, you weren’t sure, but you watched his hands as he adjusted his grip and pulled himself in close, his lips almost touching its centre, his icy blue eyes lowering to meet the gaze of the room again.

“I watched the blood pour from your eyes…” he crooned out, his eyelashes fluttering as if he’d sung something romantic. His voice wasn’t strong, but the way he held the microphone. There was a phrase for it; a term…it was on the tip of your tongue. It found you by the end of the song, which seemed to solely about watching the one you love fall out of love with you, which dark imagery.

As the room applauded, you found your mind again, his stupid stare and the way he held the audience in the palm of his hand. Frank Sinatra syndrome. You might have made up the term, but it made too much sense. Sinatra was a dreamboat in the forties and an emotional singer who owned a room and the hearts of his fan base, a majority of which were women. It said that in the cramped, warm venues of his early career of the late twenties and early thirties that you could smell the pheromones coming off the girls in the room. It seemed Billy Hargrove had found a way to do the same. He had the whole room wrapped around his little finger.

Now it made sense why you’d only been able to find women who were interested in the band, no straight man would ever be interested in them. And no gay man would get caught by reporters looking for a story, too dangerous. Now it made sense why the bar was so shit and the girls here were so hot-straight girls would go anywhere for a peak at a hottie like Hargrove, you remembered how the girls chased him in high school, how desperate they were for just a peak at him in his gym clothes or shirtless at the pool.

Billy Hargrove still had a way with the girls.

They managed four more songs, only one a cover, which impressed you a fair bit. The amount of kids you’d listen to play AC/DC and Metallica and Motley Crue in the week alone was enough to make you hate any song with an electric guitar in it. Hearing original songs, albeit trite drivel about love and losing girls and sex under God’s eye, was almost a breath of fresh air. Almost. If it hadn’t been Hargrove, it would’ve been completely worth the trip down.

But you had to deal with Hargrove.

His performance ended and the crowd erupted into uproarious applause as the group shuffled off the stage, save Hargrove who jumped off the front of the stage, landing directly in front of you.

“You the chick from the Indianapolis Tribune?” he asked, looking you over with a lazy look, half-hearted in both its intention and its purpose.

You tucked your pencil behind your ear, looking at him in pure annoyance “You see anyone else taking notes?” you asked. Billy chuckled drily, running a hand through his sweaty looking hair, pulling a black hair elastic off his right wrist, right above the black leather cuff he had on both his wrists, and pulling his tangled curls off the back of his neck.

“The boys are at the bar, come over when you want an actual interview instead of bitching.” He replied shortly, stalking off as a small hoard of girls followed behind him. He already had groupies. Oh my fucking god.

You took a deep breath, swallowed your pride, and walked over to the bar, ordering yourself a beer before pulling up a stool. Billy smirked slightly as he saw you turn to the group. He slung an arm over a girl in a tight leather skirt, causing the other girls to walk off; apparently, Hargrove had made his choice for the night and the other girls accepted it without verbal complaint to him.

“Guys, this is the chick from the newspaper.” He grabbed his brown bottle off the sticky rail and pulled it to his lips, taking a long sip, his eyes never leaving you.

“Hi, Y/N Holloway, I just have a couple of questions for you guys and then I’ll get out of your way.” You smiled. You watched out of the corner of your eye as your last name caused recognition flashed in his baby blues. In that moment, he knew you. Well, he knew your family. And he became a wallflower. You asked your simple questions, which were mostly about how they met and what their goals were, which the drummer declared to be ‘world domination’ while elbowing Billy in the abs, as if he would’ve laughed. He didn’t. In fact he didn’t speak at all; he just sort of stared at you, mouth open just a little, just enough to show the shock he felt. That was a confidence boost, knowing you could still shock.

You finished the interview with a sweet smile, tucking your notepad into your heavy black bag and hopped off your stool, grabbing your beer as you went. “Alright, best of look boys, see you in the papers.” You said with a wave, walking into the crowd. You had to find that spiky goth, she seemed to know more than anyone else in that room.

You found her in the corner of the room at a tiny table, fingers laced with a tiny mousy looking girl with short ash brown hair and a lazy looking smile. When you walked up, she dropped her hand out of the spiky girl’s, who simply smiled at you.

“What’s up, Holloway?” she asked, turning to fully look at you.

You furrowed your brow “You know me?”

She chuckled “Fellow Hawkins escapees don’t show up so close to hell that often, although I know you don’t recognize me. Samantha Baker.” She held out her hand for you to shake. After hearing her name, you did recognize her as the school’s only sullen goth.  

“Hey,” you shook her hand, turning to address the little mouse. She seemed oddly familiar “Aren’t you Neil Buckley’s little sister? Robin right?” you asked with a grin. Neil Buckley was your first boyfriend; you spent most of your afternoons in freshman year at his house. Robin nodded, choosing to pull the cherry off her mixed drink and popped it in her mouth, pulling the red stem off and knotted it with fingers.

You turned your attention back to Samantha with a genuine grin “Look, I’m here doing a piece on local bands, specifically Hargrove’s group. You seem to know a bit about these crowds, can I get a couple quotes from you?” you asked, pulling your pad from your back pocket.

“Grab a seat, I’ll tell you anything you want.” Samantha chuckled once again.

“Sammy, what’s she want?” a strong, angry voice asked from behind you as you pulled out the high stool. You knew it was Hargrove, but you didn’t turn around.

“A couple quotes about the crazy girls who stalk you around.” She replied “You care?”

“I wanna listen and make sure you don’t say shit about me.” He muttered, grabbing an empty chair from a nearby table and pulling it close to yours. The blonde he’d been with before was gone now, to your surprise, and he was pouting in the chair next to you.

“The only thing I have to say about you is that you don’t write your own music.” Samantha replied with a shrug that made Robin roll her eyes.

“Who does?” you asked, pulling your pencil out from behind your ear.

Samantha’s chest puffed out proudly “I do. I’m their lyricist and composer.” You jotted that down fast, making a mental note to credit her for anything you liked in their music.

“Why don’t you just perform this stuff yourself then? There’s an open market for angry, gothic girl rock, much wider than the boy’s market.” You asked.

“Yeah, I can’t do what Hargrove can do to a crowd.” Samantha replied, watching as Hargrove puffed up with pride again.

“Specifically to the girls, that man can turn even the most devoted wife or girlfriend to cheat on their husbands.” Robin added with a smirk. There was clearly a story there, but you didn’t try to pull it out of them, letting sit on the surface of their knowing smiles.

“You gotta understand, these girls-they aren’t here for the music, they’re here for him. They can’t get enough.” Samantha explained, smacking him in the chest as she gestured to him. Samantha might have had too many drinks.

“So it’s just like high school again?” you chuckled, leaning your elbows on the table. You smiled at him, against your initial thinking. Sure, he was still a cocky fuck, but he wasn’t being an absolute ass now that he knew who were.

“Except, now all his songs are apologies to like three girls,” Samantha said “Instead of sex songs about whoever he’s with that week.”

You furrowed your brow “And who are these three girls?”

“Oh, that’s easy: the first one is me, his truest love thus far, a gold star lesbian,” Samantha held up fingers as she counted them off “His mom, gone but never forgotten, and Heather Holloway.”

Your mouth went dry as you between the trio. Robin looked to you apologetically as she took the martini glass from her hand. “You’ve had enough, sweetie.” She muttered.

You didn’t feel like you knew what to say, but words came tumbling out of your mouth. “What gives you the right to use my baby sister as your fucking muse? Her death isn’t something to write fucking songs about.” You snapped. Your whole body felt like it was vibrating, you were so upset.

“I didn’t know you didn’t-Hargrove you told me that she knew that she was the only one who knew.” Samantha sobered up fast, looking at Hargrove with blown out brown eyes.

“Of course you’re still a liar, Hargrove.” You scoffed, pushing yourself off the stool. You were done with this interview, screw this town and the band and any of the other ‘Hawkins escapees’ out there looking to market off your family’s pain. You pushed your way out of the awful bar and into the dark night. It had begun to rain and the air was humid. Well, there goes your hair, the rain and humidity would ruin it. You crossed your arms over your chest, protecting your bare skin from the cold rain giving you goose bumps.

“Y/N, wait a second, alright?” You turned to see Hargrove running up behind you. You wiped your face, ready to blame rain for your running mascara.

“What do you have to say now?” you bit out, slicking your wet hair back from your face.

“Look I thought Heather had told you…” he muttered.

“How the hell was she supposed to tell me about your band? She’s fucking dead.” You wiped your nose angrily, rolling your eyes at your own tears.

“No, not about the band, about…us.” He tried again and you raised an eyebrow at him. Billy sighed, his hand coming to rub the back of his neck. He looked away from you into the dark streets. There wasn’t a cab in sight. “I loved your sister. We were…seeing each other. Sort of. We weren’t official, but we were going to be. I was gonna ask her and then so much shit went down, you don’t even know the half of it. And then…she was gone.”

You didn’t know that. Heather hadn’t told you any of that. You wondered if it was in the diary from that summer. You had all her diaries bundled together in your apartment, you’d never read them; it felt too invasive to her privacy, even from beyond the grave.

“I lost my whole family, I lost my baby sister…” you muttered to yourself, unsure what else to say.

“I know and I’m sorry. But I lost her too.” Billy replied, placing firm hands on your shoulders, forcing you to look at him. For the first time, he looked like a man, not a teenage boy imitating adulthood. He looked strong and as if he knew who he was. He looked handsome, although that be the beer and raw emotion talking.

“I’m sorry…I didn’t know.” You muttered “You must miss her…”

“Yeah, sometimes…when something reminds me of her.” He replied “Like you, you remind me so much of her. Can I show you one song? It’s the one that means the most to me.” You nodded at his request and let him drag you back into the bar. He put you near the front of the stage and grabbed his guitarist, taking the microphone back into his hands.

“Hey, sorry everyone, I’m gonna do one last song. We’ve got a reporter here from the Indiana Tribune, gotta show off our best stuff, ya know?” the audience laughed at his week attempt at a joke as his bassist brought up two chairs for Billy and the guitar guy, whose name you’d forgotten.

The song itself was sweet enough, about a girl with big doe eyes and hair that always smelt like chlorine. It was totally your sister; if they’d played that first you would’ve been just as furious as you were outside, except you wouldn’t have finished the interview. This time around, you listened. You smiled at the line about her lavender perfume and how it was so strong it made you dizzy and held your breath at every chorus as he wailed “You’re all gone, you’re all gone…” with his hands holding the microphone for death life. It didn’t feel like a love song, but a dirge to a long gone muse, never forgotten and screaming from the depths of one’s soul, begging to be remembered, to be put into art. You never liked to think about your sister that way, but deep within your heart you knew this was how she wanted to be remembered. She wanted to be a model, a soap star and spokesperson. She wanted to be remembered for her beauty, to be admired. Being the muse of a budding artist would be good enough for her, she would’ve loved that.

You clapped when it was done. You let Billy pull you away from the crowd. You let him kiss you like he would’ve your sister, the lingering smell of lavender and vanilla on your skin a reminder to both of you of her. You let him hold you. It was nice to be held. It was nice for him to get to say goodbye.

You knew you looked strange to the groupies and bar goers, but he needed this. And in a way, so did you. You held him like he was your father, like you were hugging him for the last time. You didn’t like that your mind associated the two men, but you let it. You both said goodbye to your ghosts.

And were left with strangers in their places.  

[seanfalco]

I am loving you and Kat’s Punk!AU fics!! If it is okay, could you write Valdo x Aevryn’s wedding please? I bet it was quite a fun one!! 🙈 🤣

Fandom: The Witcher Pairing: Valdo Marx x oc (Aevryn Swift) Word Count: 2585 Rating: G Tag list: @ficsandcatsandficsandcats @nevadawolfe @magic-multicolored-miracle @coffee-and-stories @whatevermonkey a/n: Thank you so much for this request.  I had a lot of thoughts about their wedding, so hopefully it wasn’t too all over the place.  I might make a separate post with more in depth headcanons bc honestly there’s so much I didn’t end up writing lol;;;

“How many people are out there?” you asked in hushed awe, your eyes bulging as you glanced out at the sea of people seated across the garden’s lawn in white chairs, decorated in Valdo and Aevryn’s colours: black, emerald, and gold.

“Uhm… I’m not sure,” Aev muttered, somewhat distractedly, sparing an anxious glance at the crowd of guests, most of whom she didn’t even know, but who her parents and Valdo’s had insisted needed to be there, especially since they hadn’t gotten their way with the wedding ceremony -- wanting a traditional Catholic wedding despite their childrens’ lack of religious beliefs.

The sun shone cheerily down over Kensington Gardens while fluffy cheerful clouds peppered the expanse of pale blue sky and a pleasant breeze took the edge off the summer heat.  Aevryn couldn’t have asked for a better day to marry her best friend and man of her dreams, so why was she suddenly so nervous?  She’d been imagining this day for so long with nothing but excitement in her heart, but now as she paced under the shade of the ivy tunnel she was certain of nothing.

“Hey, how’s Aev doing?” Yennefer asked, her voice pitched low as she came up behind you, her violet eyes flicking over to the bride.

“Uhh… I think she’s starting to freak out a bit,” you whispered back, watching Aevryn continue to pace, her hands twisting anxiously in her skirts.

“Shit,” Yennefer muttered, heaving a sigh as she swept past you to attempt to calm her friend; her emerald skirt swishing around her legs.  “Hey Aev, what’s going on?  Is something the matter?”

“What if he changes his mind, Yen?  What if something happens and-and, look I know I’m being ridiculous,” she cut in with a scowl, frustration plain on her face, “but I’m suddenly very scared.  I mean, look at all those people!  This suddenly feels so real and Gods I’m shaking now.  What if he changes his mind?”  

Yennefer threw you a look and you hurried over, placing a comforting hand on Aevryn’s back, patting her soothingly.  

“Hey, come on now, we’re talking about Valdo Marx here, he is not going to change his mind about you, of all things,” Yen assured her and you nodded in agreement.

“Yennefer’s right, I mean, he’s loved you since you were kids.  He’s loved you nearly his whole life.  This is just… jitters.  Stage fright,” you explained, hoping your words would help.

Aevryn nodded shakily, as if wanting to believe you both.  “Yeah, yeah,  you’re right,” she murmured, twisting her engagement ring around her finger.  “I just wish… ugh, I wish I could talk to him...”

“Uhhh,” Yennefer hesitated.  Luckily she didn’t have to think of an answer as Jaskier approached, the crunch of gravel beneath his shoes announcing his presence and Aevryn’s head snapped up, her expression warring between relief and worry.

“Jask!” she gasped, enveloping him in a tight hug from which he shot you a reassuring grin as he squeezed her before stepping back.  

“You look stunning,” he exclaimed, taking in his friend’s creme and gold gown, complete with flower crown perched on her somewhat wrangled mess of hair.  

“Thank you,” she murmured, waving the complement away impatiently.  “How’s V?  Is everything alright?  Is he freaking out too?”

“Please reassure her,” Yennefer cut in, planting her hands on her hips.  “She’s turning into a hot mess here and if she’ll listen to anyone, it’s you, Pankratz.”

“Actually, I came as a messenger,” Jaskier explained, his lips twisting somewhat in displeasure at the thought of being relegated to an errand boy, but the expression was quickly wiped from his face as you came to stand at his side, smiling up at him.  “Valdo wanted you to read this.”  He pulled a small folded sheet from his breast pocket to hand to Aev.

She took the paper and unfolded it, her sea green eyes quickly traveling over Valdo’s neat scrawl before a smile tugged at her lips which she quickly covered with her hand.  

“What does it say?” you asked, curiosity getting the better of you.  The other two looked just as inquisitive, though they were trying hard not to show it.

“Oh, you know V.  He’s waxing poetic, as usual, but he’s excited to see me,” she murmured, cheeks flushing slightly.  “He said he can’t wait to marry me.  That he’s been waiting all his life for this day.  Stupid romantic idiot,” she muttered fondly, folding the paper up and slipping it into her bodice, next to her heart.  “Jask, can you give him a reply for me?”

Your boyfriend rolled his eyes but nodded.  “I guess,” he sighed, ruining it with a grin.  “Is it not enough that I was coerced into being Valdo’s Best Man?  Oww!” he yelped as Aevryn punched his arm.  

“Jaskier,” she warned, proceeding to jab her finger in his face.  “Have I told you how much I appreciate you doing that for him?” she exclaimed, quickly penning a response to her fiance’s letter.  “I know you would have rather been my Man of Honour, but V just doesn’t have a lot of close friends…”

“I know, I know,” he relented.  “You know I’d do anything for you, Aev.  And Valdo’s not... as bad as he used to be,” he admitted begrudgingly under his breath.

“I know,” she replied, smiling softly as she handed her paper to Jaskier to deliver.  “Thank you Jask.”  

“I’ll see you soon,” he quipped, “and don’t worry, everything’s gunna be perfect, you’ll see!”  Flashing his most charming smile at the three of you he quickly turned to hurry back to where the groom and Geralt were gathered.

You turned back to the bride to find her rereading the scrap of paper from her husband to be, smiling softly though her lips trembled slightly with emotion.

—

The look on Valdo’s face as Aevryn’s father walked with her down the aisle was most definitely the highlight of the ceremony.  You’d never seen Valdo look so enraptured -- his emerald eyes misting over as he shook with silent sobs.  Completely overcome with emotion, his curls bounced slightly and a wide grin broke over his face as Aev stopped in front of him, taking his hand and looking equally as emotional; a single tear rolling down her cheek which he quickly wiped away.

The second most memorable moment was the kiss -- Valdo dipping Aev low without hesitation as she kissed him back just as enthusiastically to the deafening applause and cries from the crowd; your own voice joining the celebration as you caught Jaskier’s eye across the aisle.  He looked so happy for his friend that it made your own heart ache with joy, honoured to have been part of their day.

Hands twined tightly together Aevryn and Valdo led the crowd to the reception area, not a far walk away; tables and chairs set up under several tall airy tents strung with hundreds of flickering fairy lights.  The dining tables were set with the finest place settings in gold and emerald, and elegant centerpieces of geometric terrariums held beautiful arrangements of succulents.  The sight was breathtaking and you joined the couple at the head table, seated next to Jaskier.

—

“You ready for our first dance, love?” Valdo asked, leaning in close to whisper in Aevryn’s ear and she blanched slightly as her eyes swept over the crowd of attendants, which had only seemed to grow after the reception had begun.  She caught sight of several influential people and a handful of celebrities and other musicians -- no doubt signed to her father’s and father-in-law’s music label, and swallowed slowly.  

“I suppose,” she murmured and Valdo noticed her trepidation.

“Don’t think about them.  Just keep your eyes on me, okay?” he murmured, brushing a kiss to her jaw.  “Besides, by the time we begin you’ll only have eyes for me anyway.”  The smirk he directed her had her tilting her head curiously. 

“What are you planning?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him fondly; excitement radiating off her.

“You’ll just have to see,” he replied, pausing to glance out at the guests that were clinking enthusiastically on their glasses, his smirk only growing before he captured her lips with his, giving the audience what they wanted.

Soon Aev was positioned in the seat of honour, unable to completely banish her radiant smile as Valdo took the small raised stage, slinging his guitar over his dark emerald tux while Vicious Mockery joined him.

“Before we begin our first dance, I decided I wanted to set the mood by serenading my beautiful wife,” Valdo explained into the microphone to the excited murmur of the guests, though his emerald eyes never left Aevryn.  “To back me up are her closest friends, the band, Vicious Mockery.  Aev, this one’s for you.  Always and forever.”  

Turning away from the microphone Valdo looked to Jaskier.  “Thank you,” he murmured softly and Jaskier nodded, a sincere grin flashing across his face before they began playing, Valdo’s eyes once more seeking out his wife.  As he began to sing for her she began to cry, tears slipping down her face, one hand coming up to clutch at her throat as the other covered her mouth until Valdo jumped down to join her for their dance, his arms circling her and pulling her close; fitting together like two matching puzzle pieces.  

True to his words she didn’t even notice the eyes of their guests on them as they slowly circled the floor, her forehead pressed to his as he murmured affirmations of his love for her; more couples joining them on the dancefloor as the song transitioned.

The night wound on and the moon rose overhead, joined by the twinkling of stars in the clear inky expanse above while the Swift-Marx party raged on, certainly not slowing anytime soon.  Aevryn danced with more people than she could count -- sharing a meaningful moment with her own father and then Valdo’s (whom she’d known since childhood and who already felt like a second father to her anyway), before Jaskier cut in, twirling her around the floor, a giant grin on his face.

“Did you ever think in a million years you’d be here?”  Jask asked, leaning in conspiratorially, while across the floor from them Valdo was dancing with [Y/N], making pleasant small talk.

“What do you mean?  Partying it up at Kensington Palace?  No,” Aev replied with laughter, her eyes flashing mischievously, knowing what he meant.

“No, I meant, married to Valdo Marx,”  Jaskier clarified, rolling his eyes.

“No.  I mean, at one point I did, but then I didn’t.  But then I hoped...”  She shook her head, her smile faltering.  “Honestly Jask, this feels all too good to be true, and I’m half expecting tomorrow to wake up and it’s been nothing but a dream.”  Her voice cracked slightly and Jaskier sobered.

“It’s not a dream, Aev,” he assured her.  “I meant what I said in my toast.  You deserve more than anything to be happy, even if it’s with him.  And I’m glad for you.”  He paused, glancing over at Valdo, “You know how much I hate to admit it, but Valdo’s really… come a long way, hasn’t he?”

“Yeah, he really has,” Aevryn replied proudly, her eyes finding her husband.  Her husband.  The words still seemed surreal.  “He’s a good man.  He really is, even if he’s not your favourite person in the world, and that’s fine, because he’s mine.”

—

Aevryn collapsed into her chair next to Valdo, his arm instinctively snaking around her waist as she leaned against him, reaching for her champagne glass, downing the rest in one swig.  They’d been dancing with their friends in between drinks and had both ended up taking the stage to sing a song together, their voices mixing and harmonizing as if there were no better duo in the world.  After the rush of adrenaline both were starting to feel exhaustion beginning to creep in, and Valdo pulled Aev into his lap.  She nuzzled against him, smiling as she fiddled with his half unbuttoned dress shirt; his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, after he’d shed his tuxedo jacket.

“How you fairing, love?  Getting tired?”  He asked, dipping his face to catch her eye; his sweat dampened curls sticking to his forehead.

“A little,” Aev admitted, her fingers tracing his jawline as she gazed up at him.  “Actually, I’m getting a little hungry.”

“Yeah?  Me too,” he replied, glancing over at the table of food before frowning.  “You wanna get out of here for a bit?”

“What are you talking about?” Aevryn exclaimed, snorting a laugh.  “This is supposed to be our party, and there’s food right over there.”

“Yeah, so?” he countered cheekily, cocking an eyebrow.  “No one’ll notice if we step out for a little while.”

“I think it might be the opposite,” Aev argued, but excitement filled her at the idea.  “Y’know I think I saw a pizza place across the street from Hyde Park.”

“Now you’re talking, Swift,” he purred, “or perhaps I should say Swift-Marx,” he added thoughtfully, stroking his goatee.  “My clever wife.”

“I like it when you call me that,” Aevryn said, grinning against his lips as she kissed him.

Sure enough, no one seemed to notice the bride and groom slipping away and running off hand in hand down the trail to the park entrance.

——

“Oh my Gods, this pizza is better than sex,” Aevryn groaned, taking another bite as Valdo leaned across the booth, his green eyes flashing.

The other patrons of the small restaurant had given them a few strange looks, as they’d entered, which turned into amusement as they realized the couple was obviously dressed for a wedding -- Aevryn’s poofy skirt filling the booth comically.

“Oh really?” he asked, eyebrow cocking jauntily.  “Is that a challenge, dove?”

“Maybe,” she smirked, pulling his deep green tuxedo jacket tighter around herself.  “You wanna prove me wrong?”  Her voice dropped to a husky suggestive tone that sent a shiver racing through him, and in that moment Valdo wanted nothing more than to hoist his wife over his shoulder and cut out on the rest of their reception to take her back to their hotel room for the night (though he knew he couldn’t do that, at least without bringing his parents’ wrath down on his head).

“Oh, believe me you little minx, I will most definitely be proving you wrong, soon enough,” he drawled, running his fingertip over the back of her hand, resting on the table.

Aevryn set down her half finished piece and took Valdo’s hand in hers.  “I love you.  So much,” she whispered suddenly.  “I love you more than all the stars in the sky.  You know that, right?”  Her voice shook slightly, as if she needed to get the words out. 

A smile stole across Valdo’s face, his heart filled with fierce affection.  “Of course I know that,” he murmured in return, “ I love you too Aevryn Swift-Marx.  I’ll love you til the day I die.”

“Good.  Because all I want is to spend my life with my best friend, making all the best memories.”

“And so you shall, my love, so you shall.”

—

Little did they know that through the window one of the photographers from the reception had followed them, capturing this hidden little candid moment; the pictures of which would become quite popular over the next few days with their fans.

[kutemouse]

Hi! I just found your blog, and i'm in love with it. I would like to request from fluffy prompt 35+36 please with jin!

Well, what a coincidence, because I am in love with YOU kutie anon!! <3 Anyways, here is the imagine I dreamt up when hit with these prompts. Sorry it is so LONG (as usual) but in order to do these prompts justice, it is what it is. Hope you like <3

Fluff prompt #35: Can I keep this? It smells like you.

Fluff prompt #36: Please don’t cry. I can’t stand you crying.

Disclaimers: I found this gif on Pinterest, so it’s obviously not mine. Spiderman belongs to Sony, who has made a deal with Marvel/Disney to be used in their films, just in case y’all didn’t know.

Age Recommendation: 18+

Warnings: Swears, childhood romance, mentions of making love, Jin making me pop all the UwU’s and melting me into a puddle of fluffy goo.

Word Count: 2,968

Summary: You decided to spend your summer at your grandparents’ place where you used to spend summers during your childhood. The place is filled with so many memories, some good, some bad, but all containing him.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Always Loved You (Jin One-Shot, Fluff)

I couldn’t flip the pages fast enough. Currently, I was laying on a beach chair I’d dragged out to the edge of the lake, soaking up some sun while reading a trashy romance novel. The main character had finally confessed their love to the main love interest, and things were getting interesting.

“Y/n!” I ignored whoever was calling me.

“Y/N!”

“What?!” I hollered back, ripping off my sunglasses in annoyance.

“I need you to go to town! We need groceries for dinner tonight!”

I stood up, grumbling, pulling down my swimsuit that had started riding up my ass and gathering up my bag and towel. So much for a relaxing afternoon.

Still, I guess I was here for more than just a vacation. It was summer, and I’d just graduated from university. When everyone who attended my graduation party asked what I was going to do with my fancy new degree, I shrugged and gave some vague, non-committal answer. I had no job prospects lined up, not even an internship. I knew what I wanted to do with my degree, but no idea how to get there.

Sick of people asking me about it, I finally found something to do with my summer. I would go live with my grandparents and help them out. Truthfully, that was kind of a lie in itself. Sure, I’d help with whatever my grandpa and grandma needed, but mostly I was here to get some space and figure out what to do with the rest of my life. My impromptu trip got my parents off my back, at least.

I breathed in the warm, fresh air one last time before going inside to change. I loved it here. Back when I was in grade school, I used to come here for entire summers with my parents. Between the sun and the lake, I was constantly begging to come back here. I wondered when that changed… probably some time in high school, when I started getting busy with friends and parties. “I’m leaving now!” I called out to my grandma, scooping up the list she left for me on the coffee table.

“Thank you!”

I stepped outside and began the walk to the mini-mart down the road, relishing in the way my skin warmed in the sun once more. I hardly passed a single person, let alone a single car. That’s part of the charm here… no nosy neighbors or pesky so-called friends trying to get into your business and tell you what to do. Everything had a good distance between it, allowing for solitude and that small-town feel. I loved that it took a twenty minute walk to get to the busiest part of town, which was still nothing when compared to the crowded streets of the city.

A smile spread over my face as I passed a small park I remembered playing in as a kid.

“Tag, you’re it!” I shrieked before running away as fast as I could.

He growled and took off after me, causing me to squeal and run faster, giggling like mad. I ran up the steps of the jungle gym until I reached the very tippy, top. Oh no, he was coming! He grinned as he cornered me, but I had one escape left. I slid down the slide, still laughing as my bum hit the ground, got up, and started running. I didn’t make it far, though.

WAM! My feet tangled up and I ended up on the ground. “Ouch,” I gasped, looking at my hands. They had tiny cuts all over them, and my knee was scraped.

He reached me and pushed me hard in the shoulder. “TAG!” he screamed, but his smile faded when he saw me crying.

“Y/n, what happened?” he said, leaning down and examining my knee with large, brown eyes.

“I tripped,” I sniffled.

“Oh, don’t cry. I trip all the time. I even carry band-aides around just in case. See?”

I perked up a little when he pulled a bandage out of his pocket. He smiled at me as he peeled off the backing and stuck it on my knee. “It’s Spiderman,” I giggled.

He grinned at me. “He’s my favorite.”

The boy suddenly leaned down and placed a kiss on top of the bandage. “There. All better.”

He pulled me up and we continued our game of tag, shrieking and laughing even louder, if that was possible.

I blinked away the memory, realizing I’d stopped and was staring at the playground. God, I hadn’t thought about him in forever. How long’s it been? I wonder if he still lives around here… or even if he remembers me.

Our moms were best friends back in the day, and every time my family came here, we’d always spend the most time together. He was the only kid my age we knew around here, so he became my best friend. As we grew up, we went from sending each other hand-drawn pictures in the mail to full-on letters, then to emailing, then texting, then video calling.

One day, my laptop beeped, indicating I was getting a video chat, and I nearly declined it before seeing it was him. I quickly wiped my tears away with a tissue and blew my nose before answering the call. “Hey,” I said, giving the camera a watery smile.

“Hey! It’s been forever.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I keep meaning to call you but I’ve just been so busy.”

I sniffed, and he frowned, leaning closer to his screen. “Are you crying?”

“N-No,” I stuttered.

He gave me an amused smile. “Y/n, come on. You know you can’t lie to me.”

I choked out a laugh. “Alright, fine. Yes, I was crying, it’s stupid, just some guy being an ass as usual…”

I watched as he reached out a hand and leaned his camera even closer to his handsome face, concern etched all over his features, those brown eyes shining in what little light there was. “Please don’t cry, y/n. You know I can’t stand you crying.”

I nodded and laughed a bit more. “I know. I promise, it’s over with that guy. I won’t be wasting any more tears on him.”

He smiled at me. “Good.”

Lost in thought, I kept walking down the road, my tennis shoes scuffing along the pavement as I absentmindedly kicked stray rocks. I wonder if he ever thinks about me. Probably not. Last I heard, he too went to university somewhere in a far-off city. He was probably making a living for himself, his career prospects endless… probably dating someone too. Might even be married by now.

I huffed out a sigh as I reached the mini-mart. I stepped inside and grabbed a basket before pulling out my grandma’s list, muttering as I read it out loud to myself. “Y/n?”

That voice… it couldn’t be. No freaking way. I whirled around. “Jin?”

His face split into a wide grin. “It is you! What are you doing here?”

“J-Jin,” I stuttered, still not comprehending that the tall, handsome guy I was just reminiscing about was actually here.

He laughed. “Yeah, that’s me. It’s been what, six, seven years?”

“Something like that.” I could hardly breath. He looked only slightly older than what I remember. His hair was darker and pushed away from his face to reveal his forehead, but the rest of him was the same. The same easy smile. The same toned, wide shoulders. That melodic voice. Another memory suddenly forced its way into my mind, one that I’d been trying to push away since I got here.

The soft light of 6am caused my eyes to flutter open. A fresh, cool breeze danced across my bare skin, causing me to shiver and slide my arms back under the covers, cuddling close to the warm body next to me. I suddenly shot up. “Oh God, we’ve been out all night,” I groaned.

Jin sat up as well, chuckling. “It’s okay. Just tell your parents you were with me. They’ll understand.”

Oh hell. His voice was deep and husky from lack of use, and I felt myself melting into a puddle as he spoke.

Without warning, I leaned over and pressed my lips against his. He kissed me back eagerly for a few minutes before squeezing my waist, causing us to break apart as I gasped. “Listen,” he murmured, trailing his lips across my bare shoulder. “We should be getting back.”

“No, just a few more minutes,” I said, pulling him in again.

Jin indulged me for only a few seconds more, wrapping his soft lips around mine in a way that made my head spin. After an entire summer of flirting and driving each other crazy, we finally gave in and ended up kissing each other after Jin drove us out here to watch the stars. Before I knew it, we were in the back of his truck making love. He was my first. I always knew he would be. It was just a matter of getting us to cross the line between friends and lovers.

He pulled away from me. “Seriously, y/n, our parents are going to murder us as it is,” he laughed. “And… you’re leaving today. You’ve got to go pack.”

My heart dropped. I knew he was right. When would we see each other again? Jin began pulling his clothes back on, and I did the same. He grabbed his jacket and was just about to shrug it on when I tugged it away.

“Hey!” he protested, playfully grabbing for it back.

I buried my face in the jean fabric, inhaling deeply. It still smelled like him, musky with a hint of spicy cologne. “Can I keep this?” I asked suddenly. “It… It smells like you.”

Jin smiled. “Sure.”

“Y/n?”

I blinked, looked back up at Jin. “Yeah, sorry. I was just-”

“Lost down memory lane?” he said, the corners of his mouth turning upwards.

“Y-Yeah.”

I still had that jacket somewhere. I’d kept it wrapped in a plastic bag so, whenever I grew lonely or sad, I could pull it out and inhale his scent. I’d even fallen asleep a few times with my head buried in it, making myself feel better as memories of Jin wafted through my mind.

“I find myself doing that too,” Jin murmured, bringing me back to the present.

I never went back to my grandparents’ after that, finding myself too wrapped up in school, friends, and other boyfriends to bother. Or, at least, that’s what I told myself. Maybe the real reason I stayed away is because I didn’t want to find out Jin had been doing the same. Living his life… without me.

I tightened my grasp on my basket. “Um, I’ve got… I’ve got some shopping to do.”

“Oh, right. Well, I’ll leave you to it then.”

“Do you want to shop together?” I blurted out, noticing his mostly-empty basket.

Jin turned back around, his eyebrows raised in surprise. “Sure.”

We walked down the aisles in silence, picking out the groceries we needed as we went. “I can’t believe you’re here,” I finally said. “I thought you went to university.”

“I did,” he replied. “But I graduated recently, and I came back to see my family for a summer before heading back to Seoul.”

“Oh. Did you get a job?”

“Nope. I’m trying to become a doctor, so I need to go back to school for a few more years.”

“Nice,” I murmured.

“What about you? Why are you here?”

I sighed. “To visit my grandparents. Help them out.”

Jin stopped, grabbing something off a shelf, tossing me a knowing smile. “Come on, y/n, I know you. Why are you really here?”

I scoffed. “What do you mean? That is why I’m here.”

Jin stepped close, causing my breath to hitch in my throat. I caught a whiff of that oh-so-familiar scent and felt my legs turning to jelly as he leaned down so our eyes were level. “Are you sure?” he said, grinning.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not here for you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“That’s not what I was implying,” he said, chuckling. “But good to know.”

“Besides, you’ve probably got some girlfriend back in the city,” I muttered, turning away to grab something off a shelf.

“No, actually.”

“Really? The cocky, handsome Jin can’t sway them city girls?” I teased.

He shook his head. “Oh, that’s definitely not it. I could have any girl I wanted back there.”

Jin suddenly grabbed my basket away from me, causing me to whirl around. He stepped close, and I backed up until I could go no further, my shoulders pressed against the shelves. “The problem was me. I didn’t want any of them,” he murmured.

My lungs stopped working as his lips hovered dangerously close to mine, my eyes growing wide as our breaths intermingled. Jin drew back, laughing. “You should’ve seen your face,” he snorted.

“Fuck off,” I snapped, grabbing my basket back and striding down the aisle away from him.

He followed after me, his windshield-wiper laugh still echoing throughout the store. “Awww, come on, y/n. It was a joke.”

“Well it wasn’t funny.”

“Why not? What, you got a boyfriend that wouldn’t appreciate me flirting with his girl or something?”

His tone was nonchalant, but I sensed some tentativeness in the question. “No,” I replied firmly. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Jin looked down at me, his brown eyes bright as he smiled. “Good.”

I scoffed once more and headed over to the cashier, placing my basket down on the checkout belt. Jin placed his behind mine, and when I got out my wallet to pay, he placed a large hand over mine. “I’ll pay for both,” he told the cashier.

I didn’t say anything until we got outside, both of us weighed down with shopping bags. “You didn’t have to do that, you know,” I scolded.

Jin chuckled. “A ‘thank you’ would suffice, you know.”

I marched up to him. “Just because you’re some big shot doctor now-”

“I’m not a doctor yet, y/n.”

“Whatever. Just because you think you can-”

He cut me off once more by grabbing my bags and loading them in the back of a truck. I stared at the gray vehicle, my mouth dropping open. It was the same truck. The place where I’d lost my virginity all those years ago.

I shook my head, bringing myself back down to reality. “What’re you doing?”

Jin shut the trunk door. “Giving you a ride. Now come on, stubborn, get in.”

I scoffed, but got in on the passenger side nonetheless. Everything looked the same, but different. Rather than a Spiderman lanyard hanging from the mirror, a few graduation tassels hung there instead. The truck was cleaner than I remember. No fast food cups littered the floor, but a couple half-empty water bottles were in the cup holders.

But it was the smell that got to me. That musk with a hint of spice… exactly like I remember. My body relaxed as Jin started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot, the same way I’d relax when holding onto his jacket back home.

It didn’t take too long to reach my grandparents’. Jini pulled in the driveway and shut the engine off, but neither of us moved. Jin stared at me, but I didn’t say anything, uncomfortably biting my lip and staring at the dashboard. “Y/n,” he murmured, causing me to look at him. I half-wished I hadn’t. His eyes were filled with that same look he gave me that night we kissed and made love, wide and perfectly brown.

“Why didn’t you come back after that summer?”

There it was. The question I’d been asking myself since I got here. I twisted my hands in my lap nervously. “Because… Because…”

“Tell me,” he said softly.

I pressed my lips together before releasing a loud sigh. “Because I was afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Of you moving on.”

Jin shook his head, chuckling. “Are you serious?”

I slowly nodded.

“Y/n, I couldn’t move on even if I wanted to. I loved you. I still… love you.”

My mouth parted open in surprise at his confession. “You do?”

Jin smiled and nodded. “Yeah. I tried to move on when I realized you weren’t coming back, I really did, but you were always in the back of my mind. Y/n, I’ve loved you since we were kids.”

I bit my lip, taking only a second to process before I unbuckled my seat belt and launched myself at him. Our lips pressed together, melding into the sweetest kiss I didn’t realize I missed with every fiber of my being. Jin wrapped a hand around the back of my neck, angling his jaw to deepen the kiss, and I threw my arms around his neck, trying in vain to draw him even closer.

We pulled apart, and I smiled as I took in Jin’s blown pupils, his lips reddening from being pressed to mine, his breath coming out in short gasps. “I love you, y/n,” he murmured. “I’ve always loved you.”

My smile grew. “I love you too, Jin.”

We continued kissing for what felt like forever before he pulled back, laughing and saying we needed to get the groceries inside. We unloaded the truck with the biggest grins, holding hands as we walked up to the house.

As I looked at Jin, the sun glinting off his dark locks, his smile lighting up my whole world, I found myself thinking that maybe there was a reason none of my relationships worked out. Maybe there was a reason I hadn’t found any opportunities coming my way after I graduated. And maybe, just maybe, I was exactly where I needed to be.

[h-o-l-l-i]

Lilacs of Love

Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 800

Warnings: Mention of cheating, angst, fluff

Author’s Note: Requests reopen on 7/15! Let me know what you think of my work and if you want to be added to any of my tag lists!

Request: So, I see your requests are open and id like to make one if I could... No rush though! I could use a fluffy fic RN where Dean helps his friend over a heartbreak but maybe in the end he reveals he’s in love with her, but was afraid to admit it? Thanks babe!! ((Request by @coffee-obsessed-writer))

Dean Winchester: @akshi8278

SPN: @coffee-obsessed-writer // @roonyxx // @mrsjaxtellerfan // @princessofthefandomrealm // @witch-of-letters // @lauravic // @destielhoneybee // @keymology

Everything: @negans-lucille-tblr

You sniffled and clutched the thin pillow to your face and pressed your head into it and sobbed; slumping your shoulders down and rocking forward as you allowed yourself to cry for the first time in months. You had been on the road for so long, going from one case to the next and you had finally convinced your Winchester duo to detour into your partner’s town as a surprise. Surprise, yeah that was right. 

I can’t believe I was so stupid! It was never real or official because you were on the road so much but they were deep inside someone else that wasn’t you; and it still hurt like hell.

You’re attention was ripped from the pillow that was muffling your heartbreak by the soft but distinct knock come from your motel room door. You tossed the pillow onto to the bed and wiped your cheeks furiously in a hurry to hide the fact that you were crying over someone who never loved you like you did them. “Just a minute.” You shouted and briskly walked towards the door, stopping in a step when you caught sight of your reflection; hair an absolute mess, red and puffy eyes that was a dead giveaway that you’ve been crying. “Great.” You rolled your welled eyes, you bought your bruised hands up and tucked some hair behind your ears and took a deep breath.

You swiftly swung the door open, “Hey, neighbor.” You faked a smile.

“I—I uh, got you these. You said they’re your favorite…” Dean said nervously toying with the cellophane wrapper of the small bouquet of lilacs he gripped in his rough hands.

“Dean—” you furrowed your eyebrows at him, “It’s not a big deal, I’m fine.” You lied and retreated into your room, he followed and kicked the door shut.

“Right, Y/N.” He pursed his lips and gently set the flowers down on the bed side table. “You were always the strong one.” He looked at you sitting on the edge of the bed and joined your side, “You deserve better, don’t forget that.” His deep, rough voice rumbled from his chest.

You leaned your head on Dean’s broad shoulder in a silent gesture of gratitude, your eyes traveled over to the source of the fresh floral scent that began to fill your dusky room and you let out a small laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Dean tilted his head down to you, his green eyes gleamed as he took in the small smile that graced your beautiful face.

“When did I ever tell you that lilacs are my favorite flower, Winchester?” You sat up straight and tucked your chin downwards slightly.

“We were just kids; June 22nd, in Bobby’s junk yard, towards the back, you know,” he paused and motioned with his hands, “There was all these wildflowers and you told me that the purple ones were your favorite.” His eyes deepened in color and his hand came down to graze yours, “If anything ever happened, I knew I could always find you there.”

“I can’t believe that you remembered, Dean, that was so many years ago.” You deepened your gaze into his eyes and held his hand in yours.

“How could I forget it,” he couldn’t help but smile brightly as he remembered back, “It was so beautiful.”

“It was—” you agreed but he continued. 

 “How you would look just standing there staring at those flowers, the wind blowing your hair back over your shoulders, how big you would smile when the butterflies would land on your hands.” His voice was dripping with admiration and love.

“Dean.” You whispered.

“I have been in love with you since we were seven, Y/N. June 22nd was the day that I began living my life for you.” He rubbed his thumbs on the back of your hands. “I swore to myself that I would do whatever made you happy, to keep you safe; and I let you down so many times but I’m putting an end to that tonight.” His lips turned down in a frown, “That piece of shit broke your heart and—”

You cut him off by leaning in and closing the generous gap between the both of your mouths, your hands came up and cupped his stubbled cheeks. His calloused hands tangled in your hair and he deepened the kiss. “I’ve loved you too, Dean.” You kissed him.

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead onto yours, “I promise to give you the world and more, everyday, Y/N.”

[lil-sister-winchester]

Runaway Winchester

Request(s)-  If requests are open I was wondering if you could do a imagine where the reader runs away but Sam and dean find her                     I was wondering if you could do an imagine where the reader runs away and they can’t find her so the ask cas to help them find her but she doesn’t want to be found.         

Word count- 1167

Tags- @the-third-winchester-warrior @evyiione @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish @winchesters-favorite-girl @iamme0456 

Masterlist          Prompt list          Send in a request

Maybe if you just walked out- they would never notice. 

If anyone was to look at your little family circle they would see it as a normal functional family, aside from the hunting.

 Hunting. 

That word alone made your blood boil. You never asked for this life! Of course you can’t blame your brothers or Cas, but part of you did. 

Out of everyone you thought Sam would be the one to encourage you to go to a normal school, have a relatively normal life- but that didn’t happen. Both brothers refused to let you go, Sam making the point he can teach you all you need to know and for physical education, Dean made the point he can keep you fit and healthy. But that was always linked to hunting. 

Not going to a school made you feel so isolated, you loved Sam, Dean and Castiel, yet you dreamt of just one friend. The one friend that wouldn’t be killed the very next day. 

Running away was the only option left. You had everything ready to go: hustling at the bars got you the money, an old phone that Sam couldn’t track, a motel room booked, your bag packed with clothes, and the most painful part- carving angel warding signals into your body. You couldn’t risk Castiel finding you too. 

Once you made sure the boys had gone for a shop run, you placed your goodbye note on the library table with the ink smudged on the page from your tears. This was it, time to runaway. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not long after your departure your brothers came home, “(Y/n)!” Dean called out for you, “we’re home! Come on need to work on fighting techniques!”

When he got no answer Sam rolled his eyes, “she’s probably asleep,” he shook his head and dumped some bags on the table. Once placed down he noticed a note, “hey Dean come look at- oh my god!”

Dean quickly raced over to Sam and snatched the note out of his hand, reading the letter aloud...

“Dear Sam, Dean and Cas. I am just going to tell you straight- I have ran away.” 

Sam started to pray for Castiel as Dean kept reading, 

“Please please please don’t bother looking for me- I have done this on my own accord. I am sick and tired of hunting. I want a normal life! I just want to be normal. I’ve decided to pursue that dream and find the life I always wanted. I promise I won’t do anything stupid and will see you all again soon. Just let me do this one thing for myself. I love you all so much.” 

“Where is (Y/n)?” Castiel asked as soon as he appeared. 

“How...how did you know?” Dean’s hand kept firm hold of the note despite shaking from both fear and worry.

“I check on everyone- (Y/n) is off the radar.” Castiel had a sudden sense to investigate your room and ushered the boys to follow him. 

All three men were inspecting your room, Sam found the empty phone box but you cleverly blocked out any numbers that could get him to track you. Dean found the one bit of evidence that would help find you- the motel booking reference. But what Castiel found knocked everyone of their track. 

Picking up the blood soaked blade he told Sam and Dean what you did, “she carved Angel warding signs into her body.” 

Sam started to cry and tangled his fingers into his hair, Dean brought him into a hug as his face hardened. “She doesn’t want to be found Dean.” Sam sobbed clinging onto Dean. 

Dean pulled away and held Sam by his shoulders, “Winchesters don’t just quit like that Sammy, you know that. Cas,” he turned to the angel, “take us to ‘Bayside’ motel room 274.�� 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh (Y/n)!” You didn't even have time to take in what was happening, all you knew was Sam bringing you into a crushing hug, pushing against your wounds.

You cried out on pain and Sam immediately pulled away, “I didn’t want to be found!” You exclaimed through gritted teeth. You saw the booking reference you printed out and cursed to yourself- how stupid could you have been! Leaving it out in the open, you thought you took it with you. “Please just leave me alone.” You begged but Dean was having none of it. 

“How could you (Y/n)! Me and Sam have dedicated our lives to teaching you how to stay alive and you just do this!” He pulled up the sleeves of your shirt to reveal some markings, “you even did this to yourself! We have done everything to make you the best hunter-” 

“This is why I ran away Dean!” You roared, taking the three men by surprise. “I don’t want to hunt! I want a fucking normal life and I can’t because you and you,” you harshly pointed to each brother, “have stopped me from having that life! It’s only Castiel who hasn’t pressured me to anything!”

Castiel tilted his head and asked, “why the carvings on your arm then (Y/n)?” 

Finally giving up on looking brave you broke down, “because I knew you were on their side Cas. Everyone is on the hunting side.” 

Walking up to you, Castiel placed two fingers on your head, healing your stinging wounds. “Never think like that again (Y/n), you know I will always listen and help you where I can.” He gave you a hug and as he was about to pull away he whispered, “sort it out with your brothers, you know they can’t live without you.” 

Once Cas had disappeared you stared at your brothers. “I’m sorry. But I really did try to-” 

“Don’t apologise (Y/n). It’s me and Dean who should be sorry.” Your brothers shared a look before turning back to you, “we should have listened when you said you wanted normal schooling. The one were it doesn’t include how to kill things that go bump in the night.” 

Dean nodded and started to speak up, “I shouldn’t have snapped kiddo. We’ve realised how we have been drowning you in the hunting business. But I promise if you come back home with us, we will enrol you into a school. Start fresh. What do ya say?” He smiled softly but you saw the fear in his eyes, not knowing what you were going to say.

As soon as you nodded both brothers let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you guys, I love you both so much.” 

Sam and Dean brought you into a hug, finally you felt like you have been listened to. 

“Hey now that you are going to school you will be a bookworm- which means you can do all the resear-” 

You cut Dean off by punching him in the balls, “Sorry Dean.” Sam laughed, patting Dean on the back and going to help you pack your stuff back up as Dean fell to the floor holding his manhood and groaning. 

[itsanerdlife]

Chasing The Dream 1/10

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader (High School/College AU)

Warning: Angst. Underage drinking. Jealousy. Language. Heartbreak and arguing.

A/N: This is the series, the prequel of Chasing Dreams One Shot. They do overlap so if you need to read it I can link it when time comes.

Your father always warned you about musicians. They’re never good news, but Peter Parker is everything you could want. The other half to your groupie, rocker baby soul. Peter and the guys have big dreams to be rock stars, you couldn’t be a bigger fan of theirs. But your dad’s got a different path for your future, one that doesn’t include Peter and his band. But can Fame and dreams coming true really keep the two of you apart? Is this just a high school love? Or will you make it through the struggle of chasing your dreams?

Tag List Is Open!!

High School –

Peter (What’s Your Name again?)

Friday Night in their town, always meant kegger. Someone’s parents were always out of town, or someone knew a vacant house on the skirts of their town. They sat around the table, covered in empty cans, solo cups, his head bobbed up and down as he and Steve went back and forth on the in depth conversation about how they were going to make it. They were going to be rock stars one day, take their band across the world.

“Come on Parker. Your ride is ready.” Buck laughs, pulling him up out of the chair.

“What, I drove.” Peter waves his hand, drunk.

“Nah, your ass is getting drove home. Be good and don’t puke in the back of her car.” He chuckles, carrying most of Peter’s weight out of the house.

“Pssssh.” His face scrunching up. He knew the girl, she was in their class, he was sure he had a class with her.

“Don’t forget we have practice tomorrow Parker.” Buck laughs, putting him in the sober ride.

“Yeah, yeah.” He nods.

“Hey, you got room for one more?” Someone yells from the house.

“Yeah, of course.” The girl smiles, closing the door on Peter’s side, his head drops to the door.

The window is cool against his head, when the other door opens, he glances over a girl drops into the seat. She runs a hand through her pretty wavy hair, she sighs leaning her head back. She wore one of those high neckline tank tops, it was black and stopped around her belly button. Her cut off shorts and high-top chucks on her feet, she was the kind of girl who dated football players and had straight A’s.

“Y/L/N.” She grins at him. “Y/N.” She laughs, and the sound does something to Peter. He grins at her, introducing himself to her. He was sure he wasn’t going to remember her name by morning, he had to sober up to remember her.

“You go to school with us?” His brow connects as she looks out the window. She nods, looking over at him grinning for a moment. “Why haven’t I seen you before?” He wonders.

“Maybe you have, Peter Parker.” She laughs, those gorgeous waves falling over her shoulder and into her face. God damn.

“No, I’d remember you if I had.” He shakes his head.

“Maybe I wasn’t worth remembering.” She shrugs, there’s sarcasm in her voice and it makes him laugh.

“With that laugh and grin, I’d have written a song about you by now.” He laughs looking out the window. His head heavy and his eyes starting to slip shut.

“Don’t get a girl’s hopes up Peter Parker, you won’t remember come morning.” She laughs, and the door opens, she’s gone before he can force his eyes open or keep the darkness closing in on him at bay. Before he can ask for her name again, before his drunkenness pulls him down for the count.

----------

“Little hung over Parker?” Steve shakes Peter’s shoulders, laughing.

“No. Just trying to put together part of last night.” He shakes his head, he was sitting on the old couch Aunt May had put in the extra garage for them to use. Buck flops down next to him.

“What are you missing?” He smirks.

“I swear I met someone last night.” He rubs a hand over his face.

“At the party?” Steve asks sitting down on a random wooden chair.

“No I think I met her on the ride home.” Peter shakes his head.

“Are you talking about the chick who drove you home?” Buck looks over at Peter.

“No.” He shakes his head. “She was in the backseat with me. She introduced herself, but fuck I can’t remember what she said. But she knew me.” He sighs.

“How drunk were you?” Steve laughs.

“I passed out before I could ask her name again, I think I said some stupid shit too.” He groans.

“Smooth Peter. Made an ass out of yourself and you can’t remember her name.” Steve laughs, smacking Peter’s knee.

“Where the hell is Wilson, let’s get this shit started.” Peter ignores Steve.

-----------

He opened his locker, shoving his books in, he grabbed the back of his hoodie he had on. Pulling up he yanks it up and over his head, his T-shirt coming up with it. Someone whistles, and that laugh, the one that he heard in his sleep, the one that sounded like a melody all on its own. He rips the hoodie off looking around.

“Looking good, Parker.” His head snaps up, there she was.

She wore a little black skater skirt and the same chucks, her white T-shirt, tucked loosely into the skirt, has Nirvana written in large, faded black letters. Her books tucked into the crook of her arm and those fucking waves hanging around her shoulders. Her red headed friend laughs, playfully nudging her as they continue to walk away.

“What’s your name?” He calls reaching up on his toes as he loses her in the crowd of students. Her laughs is the only response he gets. He groans, grabbing his things from the locker, slamming it shut he runs off to class in the other direction.

---------

They head for Peter’s car after school. Tossing their bags into the trunk, he starts for the driver’s side another car beeps at them, making all four of them turning looking around. Nat slows to a stop, a familiar red head in the front seat. Buck jogs over, grinning, Peter steps towards the red head, she grins at him.

“You know Peter Parker, I hear you don’t hold your alcohol well.” She leans on the rolled down window seal, resting on her arms.

“Your friend. What’s her name?” He grins.

“Well now why would I make it that easy for you?” She laughs.

“Really? If I had known, I wouldn’t have drank that much.” He laughs, his hands grip the top half of the door, so he’s leaning over her.

“Why do you want to know so bad?” She smirks at him.

“Call it personal interest.” He laughs.

“Personal interest?” She nods, her eyebrows lifted.

“Come on, help a guy out.” He chuckles. “I’ll repay you a favor.” He grins. Her lips press together, and her eyes slip over towards Sam who was leaning against Peter’s car, talking to Steve. “I’ll put in a really good word for you.” He grins at her looking back at her.

“All for personal interest?” She laughs.

“Personal Interest?” He spins around at the sound of her voice. She’s grinning at him, the breeze tassels her waves, she pushes them back.

“You.” He breathes grinning at her.

“And you.” She laughs, adjusting the bag on her shoulder.

“You have me in a vice, I don’t remember your name.” He chuckles.

“Hard to write a song about a girl whose name you can’t remember?” She smirks at him, she pushes her bag through the open window on the backseat.

“I said some stupid shit.” Peter laughs.

“Or charming, depends who you ask.” She shrugs.

“Maybe I’m asking you.” He smiles.

“My daddy always said to watch out for musicians, they’re good with their words and can’t settle down.” She smirks. “Can’t say you weren’t a little charming.” She pulls the door open slipping in.

“Does that mean I get to know your name?” He supports himself on the open window leaning down to keep eye contact with her. “I mean how else am I supposed to name a song after you?” He grins, she laughs.

“I won’t tell you again, so you better not forget it.” She gives him a look, before she turns pulling a pen from her bag, she grabs his hand turning it over. She writes smoothly and quickly across his palm, Buck kisses Nat, Peter steps back from the car as she pressed down on the gas. Opening his hand up he looks down.

Y/N Y/L/N AP LIT

“I have a class with her?” He looks up watching Nat pull out of the parking lot.

“Do you ever pay attention to anything?” Steve laughs.

“You have no idea who she is?” Sam cracks up as they get into the car.

“Who is she?” He looks around the car.

“She lives the block over from you. Her dad was apart of some big band in the 80’s.” Buck grins.

“You fuckers knew who she was the whole time?” He looks over and glances back at the two in the backseat. The three of them erupt into laughter. “I hate you fuckers.” Peter shakes his head, pulling out of the school parking lot.

Everything Peaches 2/6/19: @xmtd5 @mo320 @courtmr   @all1e23 @izzy--lee @irepeldirt @dumblani @crist1216 @alyssaj23 @allyp1023 @joannie95 @kolakube9 @rileyloves5 @sarahp879 @sea040561 @sexyvixen7 @pcterpvrker @pigwidgexn @doctoranon @abschaffer2 @nickimarie94 @teller258316 @wandressfox @amandab-ftw @henrietteoaks @nea90sweetie @circusofchaos @itsagalaxystar @bettercallsabs @miraclesoflove @lucifersnipnips @queenkrissy11 @sadyoungadult @destiel-artemis @paintballkid711 @iwillbeinmynest @teaand-cookies @sweet-honey15 @chanelmadrid13 @mellxander1993   @spookygrantaire @geeksareunique @supernatural508 @sammysgirl1997 @itzmegaaaaaaan @booksbeforebois @mariekoukie6661 @pure-princess-97 @capsheadquaters @samanthasmileys @youclickedthislink @futuremrsb-r-main @lovemarvelousfics @petersunderoos96 @loving-life-my-way @booktvmoviefangirl @supernatural-girl97 @fanfictionjunkie1112 @abbypalmer14-blog @meganlikesfandoms @awkwardfangirl2014 @supernaturaldean67 @xqueenofthecraziesx   @queenoftheunderdark @writingaworldofmyown @supernaturallover2002 @sprinklesandsugarcubes @whothehellisbucky-1930 @verymuchclosetedfangirl @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @ocaptain-mycaptainmorgan @wonderlandfandomkingdom @crazy-little-thing-called-buck @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @stupendoussciencenaturepanda @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety

Peter Parker: @ml7010 @ariminiria @dkpink123   @boltsgirl919 @everthenerd @ms-rogers06 @crayonwriting @baebeepeach @bellamouse16 @honey-bee-holly @kiss-the-stars-goodbye

Chasing The Dream: @del-rcys @gabile18   @little-smurf @robin-writes @raven-black102

[thesweetestpea1093]

Dancing in the Dark

Sweet PeaXCooper!Reader

Chapter 1

A/N: Hey guys! First chapter! If you’d like to be added to the tag list pls let me know! Full disclosure, I didn’t exactly proof read. If you have any ideas for future chapters then message me and please let me know what you think in the comments :)

Word Count: 2370

What Mackenzie was wearing this chapter:

If you asked anyone in Riverdale a year and a half ago if even a fraction of the tragedies that had happened in this town would occur, they would have laughed in your face. Riverdale once been the ‘town with pep,’ but now it just seemed lifeless.

With Jason Blossom being murdered by his own father last year and the Blossom’s family business being exposed for what it truly was, the citizens of Riverdale thought that would be enough craziness for years to come. But then Fred Andrews was shot in Pop’s. And then Moose Mason and Midge Klump were shot at in their car.

And with Archie Andrews running around spray painting the Southside, waving a gun around like he owns the place, the tensions between the North and South sides of Riverdale had never been so high. Especially with the fight that had happened the other night that everyone was calling the ‘Riverdale Rumble.’ Dilton Doiley had been stabbed, but according to Veronica he had actually stabbed himself, which sounded exactly like something that Dilton would do.

The town’s dislike for the Southside Serpents never really made sense to me. My own mother was once a Serpent and even she can’t stop harassing them in her newspaper.

My mother and father had been busier than usual at the Register. With all these shootings, someone had to report about them. My sister, Polly, was at some farm upstate, pregnant with her’s and Jason Blossom’s children, who also happens to be our cousin. And Betty had been acting really weird ever since the Black Hood sent her a letter.

I had been so busy with dance lately that I hadn’t been able to really stop and think about the Black Hood. Being a competitive dancer means there’s a lot of time I have to commit to training and being at the dance studio. Sometimes I was training up to 25-30 hours a week.

Polly, Betty, and I all started with ballet around the same time when we were younger. I think it had something to do with our parents wanting for all three of us to be out of the house at the same time. But while Polly and Betty had stopped pretty soon after that, I had begged my mom to let me keep dancing.

Dancing was my favorite thing to do. I was at my dance studio more than I was at home, even when I didn’t have class myself, I was teaching or volunteering or rehearsing on my own. My parents were okay with me dancing while I was in high school, but you could see the disappointment on their faces whenever I mentioned wanting to continue afterwards.

Betty and Polly were the ‘golden children’ of the family. More so Betty now that Polly was pregnant and Betty had actually showed an interest in journalism. Their dream is probably for the three of us to work at the Register for the rest of our lives.

Polly, Betty, and I were all a year apart in age and we were all really close when we were younger, but now that Polly had cut off communication with us and Betty was always off investigating things she probably shouldn’t be. And Betty was acting really weird lately. Just a few days ago she had published an old news report in the Blue & Gold about our mom being arrested when she was a Southside Serpent. I mean, I didn’t always get along with our mom, but I would never do something like that.

At the moment, it was 1:00 pm on a Saturday in November. I had just gotten home from teaching some of the kindergartners at the studio all morning and I was exhausted. Those kids really tired me out, but I loved teaching them. If I couldn’t be on Broadway when I got older or if I didn’t grow another 3 inches to be a Rockette then I wouldn’t mind being a dance teacher.

I walked into the house and I saw Betty sitting at the kitchen counter with her laptop out.

“Hey Betts!” I said cheerfully as I walked into the kitchen to refill my water bottle, but she didn’t even look up from her phone. “Okay then…”

“Who’re you texting?” I asked, peaking over her shoulder.

“None of your business, Kenz,” Betty snapped, pulling her phone away from me and slamming her laptop closed.

“Sorry, jeez Betty,” I mumbled back to her. “Calm down.”

She didn’t respond so I decided to change the subject. She seemed really stressed out these past few days and I was really worried about her.

“So remember that little girl in my class I was telling you about last week? The one that was too scared to do her back handspring without me spotting her?” I spoke quickly, really excited for one of my students. “Well she finally did it on her own! The little smile on her face when she realized she did it by herself was so cute! And-”

“God, Kenzie, I really don’t care about your stupid job!” Betty exclaimed.

“What?” I whispered, sort of confused. Betty always loved to hear about the kids at the studio.

“Your life just revolves around the dance studio, Kenz,” she sighed. “If you’re not actually at the studio, you’re talking about it to anyone that will listen.”

“So what? I love dance and I love my job…”

“Sure it’s your job now, but do you really expect to continue after high school? It’s a really competitive industry and-”

“What’re you saying?” I exclaimed. “That I’m not good enough? What the fuck, Betty? You’ve always been supportive even when mom and dad haven’t been. Don’t you believe in me?”

“Maybe mom and dad are right, Kenzie,” she sighed, not meeting my eyes. “I just think you should focus on your grades right now. I know you failed your last chemistry quiz.”

“Yeah well I don’t care about chemistry, Betty,” I spat at her, a few tears leaking out of my eyes. “And you know how important dance is for me. I love it just as much as you love writing and investigating and just because it’s not considered a ‘normal’ career path doesn’t mean it’s any less valid. I can’t believe you would say something like that.”

As I left the room I thought I saw a bit of regret in her eyes, but I didn’t care. She had always been the one person to stand up for me when I got into arguments with mom and dad. We’d gotten into arguments before, but she had never stooped so low.

I grabbed my backpack and stormed out the front door to my bike. I knew Kevin was out today and all my friends from the dance studio lived over in Greendale so even though he was dating my sister, I biked over to Jughead’s.

Jughead, Betty, and I had been friends since we were kids and I was really happy when they started dating, but now it was hard to complain about Betty to him whenever we had problems. But at this point I didn’t care, I just needed to get away from the house and her, even if it’s just for an hour or two.

I got to Sunnyside Trailer Park within minutes and I was banging on Jug’s trailer door, a few tears dripping down my face.

“Kenzie?” Jughead questioned when he opened the door. “Are you okay?”

“I’m just great,” I remarked sarcastically. “That’s why I came here crying and almost knocking your door down.”

“Okay, enough with the sarcasm, Cooper,” he chuckled, gesturing for me to come into the trailer. “Are you gonna tell me why you’re really here?”

“Because your girlfriend went crazy on me and crushed my hopes and dreams,” I muttered as I walked past him.

“Sounds fun,” he replied, dryly.

“Yup… I don’t mean to intrude, but I really just can’t deal with her or my parents right now. Do you mind if I just chill here for a bit?”

“Sure, I’ve got some things to do, but my dad won’t care if you hang out for a bit,” he told me.

“Aww, Juggie!” I exclaimed in a mocking tone. “Did you make some friends? So proud of you.”

“Shut up,” he groaned before abruptly changing the subject. “Betty’s been stressed lately, Kenzie. I’m sure she didn’t mean it.”

“Doesn’t make it hurt any less, Jug,” I muttered.

“I know, I know… but this Black Hood thing has got everyone on edge, that’s all I’m saying. I’ll be back later… it may be awhile, but feel free to stay as long as you want.”

“Thanks, Jughead.”

“No problem. See you later this afternoon… maybe tonight,” he called out to me as he walked out to the front steps of the trailer. Tonight? What was he doing all day?

I had just set my bag down when I heard Jughead outside.

“Archie?” he asked, alarmed.

Archie? What the hell was he doing here?

“We gotta talk, Jug,” Archie responded.

“Uhh, now is really not a good time, okay?” Jug told him as he jogged down the stairs. “You need to leave, kay? You gotta go.”

“What? Why? What’s going on?”

“I’m serious! You’re just gonna have to-” Jug was interrupted then by a deep voice.

“What the hell do we have here?” the voice said as it rounded the corner of the trailer. I peeked my head out the door, curious who it was. I couldn’t help but gasp a little bit when I saw some Southside Serpents coming around the corner of Jughead’s trailer. I wasn’t necessarily scared for myself, but for the confrontation that was sure to happen between them and Archie Andrews.

“He’s just leaving, alright?” Jughead walked forward to meet the tallest one with the Serpent tattoo on his neck and a dark black eye.

“Wait?” Archie interrupted. “You’re friends with these thugs?”

“It’s not what you think,” Jug turned to look at Archie.

“Are you joining the Serpents?” Archie asked him.

“If he survives,” the Serpent said ominously before Jughead could respond. “And go ahead and call us thugs one more time…”

“Jughead!” Archie exclaimed. “These are the guys who attacked me! Who attacked Reggie, and Veronica, and Dilton! Your friends!”

At this point I couldn’t help the snort that came out of my body when I tried to hold in my laughter in regards to Archie’s comment. Everyone turned to look at me at that moment and I turned pink at their attention.

“Kenzie?” Archie asked incredulously. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Getting away from my psycho sister, that’s why… not offense to your girlfriend, of course, Jughead,” I told him matter-of-factly.

“Go home,” Archie said. “You don’t belong here.”

“Neither do you, Andrews!” I exploded at him and his eyes widened in surprise at my outburst. I hadn’t ever stood up to him before, but I was so done with him thinking he was better than everyone else. “You’re acting all high and mighty about the Rumble, but don’t forget that you’re the one who came on the Serpent’s turf and threatened them with a fucking gun, you dumbass!”

“Yeah, but they stabbed Dilton, Kenzie!” he yelled out. “You don’t know anything that happened that night!”

“I know that Dilton Doiley stabbed himself, Archie… everyone knows that. I wouldn’t be surprised if even the police knew that and they were just using it as an excuse to bring in Southsiders as scapegoats. And obviously you did some damage too… I’ll pay you a million dollars right here, right now if you’re not the one that gave Skyscraper over there that nice black eye,” I bit back, pointing over at the Serpent with the neck tattoo.

Archie just huffed and turned back around to face Jughead, figuring he wasn’t going to get anywhere with me. I smirked and flipped him off with both hands when he wasn’t looking and I actually think I got a small smile from some of the Serpents, Skyscraper included.

“Wait,” Jughead started. “Is that why you’re here? To warn me?” “No. I came here to tell you to stay away from Betty. She doesn’t wanna see you anymore,” Archie told him and I rolled my eyes. What was wrong with this girl? Is she trying to piss off all her friends and family?

“Screw you,” Jug responded after a few seconds of silence. “I just saw Betty yesterday… she was fine…”

“No, dude. She’s been wanting to break up with you for weeks… she’s been agonizing over it since you crossed the dark side… she couldn’t bring herself to do it,” Archie kept explaining my sister’s stupid decisions.

“So she sent you?” Jughead was clearly distressed. “Betty would never do that!”

“If you don’t believe me then call her!” Archie started to raise his voice. “And feel free to tell her you’re a Serpent now, I bet she’ll love that. She saw where you were headed, Jughead… we all did. And she knows you can’t be with them and her. And come on, man! You know it too.”

I had never seen Jughead look so defeated in all the years that I’d known him. I was gonna have a long chat with Betty tonight when I got home. All I wanted was to hug him, but it didn’t seem appropriate in front of everyone here. And maybe he wouldn’t want to see me now that him and Betty were broken up.

“... tell Betty I got the message,” Jug responded lowly, glaring at Archie.

“Yeah…” Archie muttered before walking back to his truck.

Jughead turned to look at the Serpents at this point, clearly upset.

“What?” he asked them harshly as Skyscraper crossed his arms over his chest. “Did you enjoy the show?”

“The show hasn’t even started yet,” Skyscraper responded to him.

“Well that sounds ominous,” I joked, grabbing my bag from inside the trailer before walking down the stairs. “I’m gonna head out Jughead. Something is seriously wrong with my sister and I’m gonna go slap some sense into her.”

“See you around, Kenz,” he sighed.

“See you around, Juggie.”

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