#stupid my mom and i are that we were unprepared

[lattecodes]

k, lesson learned. im never telling my father anything ever again

[milky-aeons]

— REASON LIVING

౨ৎ . . . in which a man with no reason to live finds an unlikely one through the tribulations of being a father.

warnings: emotional dysregulation, slight angst, unplanned pregnancy, alcohol consumption, poor parenting (in the beginning), conflict, suicidal ideation, depression, depictions of birth, female reader, healing, w.c 2.4k

♪ . . . ˗ˏˋ ꒰ dancing on my own — vitamin string quartet ꒱ ˎˊ-

: ̗̀➛ 𝐘𝐎𝐔, who wasn't ready to be a mother. Not now, perhaps not ever — was a rule you had laid in stone for yourself as a free-spirit intent on enjoying life to its fullest. It was why the world had tuned out into white noise when Yosano Akiko held the small test in her hand and spoke those terrifying words. With a shutter of sympathy in her eyes, coming to place a hand on your shoulder to give it a firm, comforting squeeze. She knew just as well how much you didn't want this to be true. Her touch felt condemning. You felt like you were going to vomit, just like you had been for the last four mornings in a row. Because how were you going to tell him?

: ̗̀➛ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈, who didn't blink, didn't draw breath, didn't do anything when you let the words stumble from your mouth in one panicked rush. It was a bright afternoon deep into summer and the Agency's café was quiet — private enough for the two of you to have this conversation. You and Dazai Osamu — you were not an item, had been content to have casual shared nights together when either of you wanted to blow off a little steam. But that night, you had said to him, do you remember that night? When we were both drunk and stupid, so stupid?

: ̗̀➛ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈, who, in that moment, decided not to grace you with any words. Instead, he did something far more uncharacteristic of him; he stayed quiet. He gave one shallow nod of his head and placed a hand softly onto the table so he could stand up. To steady himself, to ground himself back down when you had turned his world completely overhead, you did not know. And Dazai, who left you there, excusing himself in order to get some fresh air. The raking bastard that he was. Not once did he turn back to look you directly in the eye. Not even when you stood up, shouted his name, screamed at him, until tears spilled over your cheeks and your throat burned with the pain.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐘𝐎𝐔, who saw life through a lens of grey in the couple of days following. Sometimes, you would feel so heavy that you did not wish to rise out of bed. The word swam around in your head like the song of a haunting ghoul — a mom, a mom, I am going to be a mom. Yosano would drop by your Agency apartment after work to see how you were doing, feeling your forehead, bringing you remedies to help with the nausea that roiled in your stomach. Every time, you would resist the temptation to ask where he was. And yet every time, Yosano would still tell you;

"He didn't come to work today, either."

: ̗̀➛ 𝐘𝐎𝐔, who slowly came to grips with the fact that this was how it was going to be. The initial shock of it all was as relentless as it was condemning, but it was not infinite. The sun rose the next day, and the next, the world kept moving and you decided that you would have to, as well. That there was a little life growing inside your warm belly that needed a mother, no matter how unprepared you were for that fact. And, if you could do something about it, needed their father. You were not letting him just walk away from you, from the both of you, that easily.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈, who was exactly where you thought he would be when you set out that evening to find him. Of course, if he wanted to, Dazai Osamu had both the cleverness and the connections to absolutely disappear from the streets of Yokohama without a trace. If he wanted to, he could have abandoned you and this baby completely. But he didn't. Instead, he was here, laying sprawled long and lazy on his messy, unmade futon in his messy, unclean house, as if waiting to be found. When he heard you pass over the threshold of the door he didn't lock, he gave you a long, languid smile.

"My bewitching Beeella~! At looong last, she has come to tempt me!" He slurred his speech, bringing your attention to the heavy scent in the air and the dozen or so bottles strewn about haphazardly. His hair was matted and unwashed. He looked just like you, curled in your bed, refusing to move for days. But unlike you, he was completely and utterly intoxicated. "You look awful." You said in a low voice. Hurt at how he abandoned you in the coffee shop was still a fresh, gaping wound. As if his head was too heavy, Dazai let it flop back down onto the cushions. He waved his hands about. "And you... look just as beautiful... as always. But—it is a trap...! A ruuuuse! A beautiful Bellaaa, sent from my torment... to tie me to this mortal coil!"

: ̗̀➛ 𝐘𝐎𝐔, who let him ramble his litany of incoherencies. If only for a few merciful seconds. When you felt like you had had enough, or perhaps fearful with how far he'd take it, you kicked one of the empty glass bottles. It skirted across his floorboards and hit a neighbouring wall, exploding into countless little shards. He looked up then, attracted to the noise, trying to focus on you with his glazed whiskey-coloured eyes. In that moment, you stood your tallest, and just like the bottle you mustered up every last shred of yourself until you built it all back together.

"You." You pointed at him, feeling your voice come on thick, but strong. "You listen to me and listen to me well, I'm only going to say this once, and if you're too fucking drunk to remember it, then more is the pity. But I'm carrying your baby—our god damn baby. And if you're not going to step up and be the father they're going to need, then I'll be that for you. Just say the word, Osamu. Say the word and I'll leave. You'll never hear from me or this child ever again."

: ̗̀➛ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈, who said nothing in contest to that statement, but also said nothing to affirm it, either. His wide, unfocused eyes studied every feature on your face, trying to make sense of something you didn't know. And for a second, your heartrate kicked up. Because somewhere deep down inside, you wanted him to tell you to stay. You wanted him to sober up, to wear that charming, all-endearing smile and convince you that everything was going to be alright. But he didn't. And that was the moment you deflated with a sigh — laying out all the feelings you once had for him on the floor, ready to cast it to the wind. You had made it to his doorway when two strong, heavy arms came around you and all of his weight collapsed against your shoulders.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈, who buried his head into the crook of your neck, who's hair tickled your face and made your eyes sting with tears. He, who smelled of whiskey and liqueur, but in that moment, held you so tight, crushed you against his taller frame and croaked;

"Stay." "Please... just, stay."

: ̗̀➛ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈, who seemed like he had undergone a transformation overnight. He always did have a strange knack for that — changing his persona so easily, crafting masks and façades. And maybe it was just that, at least in the beginning. But he had started to come back to work, again. You would enter the familiar doors early in the mornings to the tell-tale sounds of his teasing tone and Kunikida's threats. When you would walk in, he'd straighten up from whatever headlock the blond had trapped him into, and catch your eye.

"Good morning." You would whisper. "Good morning, beautiful [Name]." He would murmur right back.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐘𝐎𝐔, who became used to the weight in your tummy growing heavier each day. It was Atsushi, at first, who recognised the shift in your scent and the sound of a little heartbeat in your belly through his superior feline hearing. Soon after, everyone in the Agency were offering you gifts and well wishes. Dazai received a less warm ovation. Especially from Kunikida, who threatened to flush him into the drainage system if he even thought about being one of those shitty laid-back dads who let the mom do all the work.

"That's cruel, Kunikida-kun!" Dazai whined at him. "To think of the rigid, torturous lifestyle your children will have to endure!" He just barely dodged the office chair that was hurled at his head.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐘𝐎𝐔, who, after a short while, began to let Dazai close to you again. And maybe it was foolish of you, to let that thing which always existed between you two take spark and kindle with new life. First, it was sitting together in the same booth in the coffee shop. Then, it was gentle, quiet touches — his hand brushing your back as he walked past, your fingers twining together underneath the desk where no one could see. He stole you away for long walks in the nearby park when you should have been working. To your protests, he'd pout, and say, but a pregnant lady needs to enjoy as much rest as she can~! And then, he'd kiss you. Underneath the great spurting fountain at the centre of the park. Long and sweet and promising.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈, who one time, when you were especially close to your due date and he was feeling especially silly, drew a large smiley face on your swollen belly. Or peppered a shower of kisses along the stretched skin, telling you she was taking too long, that he couldn't wait any longer and had too many kisses saved up for her, already. And on that day where you did go into labour, he held your hand, he placed those lips on your forehead and whispered gentle encouragements as you screamed through the pain.

"You are strong, my beautiful [Name]. Come on, can you give one more push? Just one more." "You're doing so great. You are so unbelievable, so resilient and brave. My beautiful Belladonna, that's it. You can do it."

: ̗̀➛ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈, who, along with the chorus of elated cries from the Armed Detective Agents, made a sound of disbelief when his baby girl came into the world. Slick and wet, red and crying, but beautiful. A copy of her mother's features but with a wild head of curly brown hair. An emotion Dazai had not felt in an extremely long time crept up the back of his throat. It made him laugh, it made his eyes smart with tears. And when he came to your side to see your baby be placed onto your bare chest, a single tear escaped from the side of his eye and got lost when he buried his head into your hair.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈, who never thought he would ever grow attached to someone. There was you, of course, but if he sat with the discomfort of viewing his life without you in it, it could be done. But trying to see his life without her — his little baby girl — his mind would simply draw a blank. It was unbearable, impossible. Before long, Dazai had insisted you move into his apartment so he could be closer to you. After, of course, you threatened him to scrub the entire place from head-to-toe and remove anything non-child friendly in a black plastic bag. And he did. He used those nimble, clever hands to build the baby a little wooden crib. He would rock her to sleep and place her down, only to watch her for minutes, hours, contemplating how in the world he was ever bestowed with such a blessing.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈, who sang lullabies to her. Who sang at every given chance he had. For he was such a lovely singer, his soft, velvety voice would be a common thing amongst the walls of your little apartment. Who would sit down with the toddler and teach her all the words he knew.

"Can you say 'Kunikida' my little star?" "Kuni—Kuni—Kooni—!" "Kun—ee—kee—dah!" On the 'dah', he'd pinch her nose. "Kun—eeeee—keeeee—dah!" "Wow~!" Dazai pinched her nose again and she giggled. "Darling, did you hear that? Our little star is a genius." "She takes after her father." You would say from around the bend of the kitchen. Praises and chuckles and the shrieks of a delighted baby would fill the air. Dazai would then drop his voice, thinking you wouldn't hear, and say, "Now, can you say, 'is a bore!'" "Osamu!"

: ̗̀➛ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈, who always took his little girl to work with him. Everyone in the Agency fell in love with her very quickly. Atsushi would transform his hands into that of giant tiger paws, pretending to growl, letting her pull at the little tufts even though it hurt him just a tad. Ranpo would ask the little baby mind-numbing riddles, then laugh, proclaiming how she barely had any braincells, but not to worry, because when she's old enough, he'd take her as his apprentice. Kunikida, who would let her handle his little ideal book, and then hold back tears when she ripped one of the pages out of it. The little girl would hold the page up high and from her little perch on the table, shout,

"Kuneeekeeda... is... a boooore!"

: ̗̀➛ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈, who was still laughing when he met you on the terrace roof of the Agency that night. He went straight for his little girl and held her up in the air, proclaiming that he was so proud of her. You would settle down together, just the three of you, huddled on the concrete tiles and watching the sun set over the skyline of Yokohama.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐘𝐎𝐔, who would hold your daughter on your lap until her curly brown head of hair tilted into your shoulder and she snored softly. In that moment, you would crane your head onto Dazai's broad shoulder, and whisper;

"I'm glad I stayed."

: ̗̀➛ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈, who would run his long fingers across his sleeping daughter's face softly, so softly, so as not to wake her. Then, he would reach up to you and cup the side of your cheek, captivating you, looking at you with an expression so warm and tender as he whispered right back;

"And I am forever grateful."

requested by the lovely @ringsofsaturnnnn // writing requests!

[tired-biscuit]

18+ mdni, fem!reader

thinking about flustered bakugou shoving his fingers into your mouth to keep you quiet during a quicky at his house.

his mom being the strict parent that she is, is also most definitely a force of nature not to be reckoned with; and can thus be quite terrifying if provoked.

so it makes sense why katsuki, ever the momma's boy with a cleverly hidden urge to appease, is sort of nervous and hesitant when you begin to coax and insist that he fuck you in his childhood bedroom well before the sun even starts to set behind the horizon, and you start to stroke his thigh in return.

up and down, up and down, up and down.

what movie were you watching again?

he isn't able to contentrate anymore. your hand is skilful, eager to please. katsuki's eyes flicker across the room as he swallows the saliva that's gathered inside his mouth. it makes his adam's apple bob. makes the column in his neck turn even more prominent than it already is.

goddammit, he's twenty-two - a grown man, but there's something about this happening here, in the house he's grown up and spent his youth in, that makes his heartbeat accelerate nevertheless, and his nerves feel on edge.

i mean, what if someone walks in? catches you mid-act? the door is closed shut, sure, however he's not just nervous anymore as the tips of your fingers touch and playfully tug at the strings of his sweatpants. no, he's visibly scared, too.

leaning in to kiss his neck, you can hardly believe it. your big, strong, stubborn as an ox boyfriend is scared - of his own mother, at that. you doubt denki would believe you if you told him.

but thankfully, luck is on your side, because even the fear of mitsuki's strict hand is not quite enough for her son to resist sweet temptation that only you - his cutesy little girlfriend, can provide. after all, katsuki's jaw may be clenched tight, and his brow does furrow deeply the moment you bat your eyelashes up at him as a form of pathetic persuasion, but he still gives in rather easily to your advances. gives in as if he's a mere plaything in your hands.

and that's because he is. he's exactly that.

so golden sun-rays still continue to seep through the window by the time your skirt is hiked up with a fed up grunt, and your panties are swiftly pulled to the side with the help of two thick, now uncharacteristically fidgety fingers. you're both completely dressed; he's tugged at the waistband of his joggers just enough to free himself, spat on his hand to quickly lube himself up, and exposed you just barely enough to be able to stuff his cock into your tight, unstimulated cunt.

no foreplay. immediately, your lips form that tiny 'o' that drives him wild when he eases himself into you and that first burn that accompanies the initial stretch hits your senses; the one that drives him absolutely feral. katsuki watches, baffled and amazed by your reaction. it's an agony of the most delightful kind - taking him in completely unprepared and raw, he knows.

but you're willing to take it, willing to take him. always and forever.

and as minutes pass, katsuki spends them all by fucking you stupid just like you wanted him to, and by straining his ears for every sound that exact fucking may invoke. his bed is old and creaky, after all. it's a risk he's not willing to take - not when he already has to worry about you gasping with need and whimpering a series of pathetic, "harder, harder...! go h-harder, ki."

and speaking of your whimpering: it's all too loud for his liking, too obvious to what he's doing to you. you sound like a little whore, despite feigning a saint in front of his parents a mere hour ago.

so he moves you to the floor instead.

"put your legs on my shoulders. yeah, there we go... that's my good fuckin' girl." the moment his hips slam back into you and he hits a deeper angle, your eyes roll back and your head tips back against the warm floorboards. your nails sink into his biceps at the sudden pressure and overcapacity; nails clawing at the sleeves of his crisp white t-shirt. you're going to lose it, it hurts, but it hurts so good.

"kat-" the moan that bubbles up your throat and stops you from pronouncing his name fully is ungodly. so very slutty. you can't possibly stop yourself from letting it out.

but he can. two digits, the same as the ones that had previously tugged your cutesy underwear to the side, now bump against your teeth before they rest on the top of your tongue. they fill your mouth instantly, effectively silencing you for the time being.

when you try to moan again, he shoves them in even deeper. right to the knuckle.

"are you insane?!" he hisses. "my mom's gonna fuckin' kill me if you won't stay quiet... please, baby. stay quiet." katsuki's eyes are wide open as he blabbers the words hurriedly, pupils dilating. you can see the anxiety in his dark red irises despite his gruff, albeit soothing voice.

it makes you blink. the arrogance you're so used to seeing in him is completely gone now. he draws back and pushes his entire length into you slowly, lazily; not nearly as hard as when you're alone, devouring each other in the safety of his apartment. not nearly as rough.

still, the sound of wetness resonates throughout the sunny room when he quickens his pace. he's covered in orange sunlight; it makes his skin glow and his hair turn golden. even the blush that's coating his entire face is nearly violent in colour because of it.

he breathes hard and quick as you take a couple of seconds to just stare at him in awe. he can't hide it, your adoring gaze makes his cock twitch and grow even bigger inside of you in the same manner as his ego does; makes his shoulders rise and fall in an uneven rhythm.

how delightful, you've got your smartass boyfriend losing his breath just because of how pretty you look: splayed wide open on the floor of his childhood bedroom.

and speaking of his shoulders, you swear that you can see them come to a halt the moment you begin to suck on his fingers.

reblogs are appreciated <3

[rebelspykatie]

Soulmate AU Part Four 

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Five

The night of the date, Eddie is pacing beside his front door. Wayne is watching from his armchair with an exasperated look, having already told him to sit down or he was going to wear a hole in the carpet. He jumps when there’s a knock on the door and shoots Wayne a dirty look when he laughs. Before opening it, he grabs the flowers off the counter and takes a deep breath, attempting to settle his nerves.  

When he finally pulls the door open, he’s still wholly unprepared for Steve Harrington to be the one standing on his doorstep, eyes twinkling in the haze of the setting sun, hair perfectly coiffed and yellow sweater sitting snug around his torso. He holds out the flowers before Steve can even say hello. 

There’s a beat of silence where Eddie almost pulls them back, but Steve hesitantly reaches for them, holding them delicately in his hands. “You got me flowers,” he says with a hint of awe.

“My mama used to garden a lot before she died, and I remember sitting with her as she talked for hours about the meaning of all of these different flowers she was planting. I don’t remember all of them because it was so long ago, but I do remember what these mean.” 

It’s never easy talking about his mom, but it’s not as difficult with Steve looking at him like he understands the importance of Eddie divulging something so personal. There’s a hopeful look on his face that reassures Eddie he can trust Steve with every dark corner of his soul. They’re not there yet, but they’re headed in the right direction. 

He looks down at the yellow and white water lilies with a watery smile, “Mama used to always say that water lilies were about rebirth and enlightenment. A lot of cultures tied that back to purity and religion. But mama used to tell stories of nymphs leaving them around those they wanted to protect or claim.”

Steve ducks his head, burying part of his face in the flowers. “Are you the nymph in this scenario?”

“If it means staking my claim, then yes.” A triumphant trill courses through him when Steve blushes. “I know the universe already did that for me, but I wanted to show you I mean it. I want to start over and actually give this a shot.”

“I want that, too.” Steve looks back at his car. “Maybe we can leave these here, though. I don't want them to get ruined sitting in the car.” 

It takes a few minutes to find something to leave them in. The Munson’s aren’t big flower people these days, but soon enough they’re on their way, Wayne shooing them out the door. Steve hasn’t told Eddie where they’re going, but it’s somewhere outside of Hawkins. 

As they exit the city limits, Eddie's nervous chatter has died down a bit. Steve quietly says, “I didn’t think you would be into flowers or any of that romantic shit.” 

“Just because I look mean and scary, doesn’t mean I don’t believe in love. I was just as excited as you were to get my soulmate mark.”

“Why were you so scared to tell me?”

“My own stupidity, I guess.” Eddie shrugs. “Things never worked out long term for any of the Munsons when it comes to soulmates. My mom died young and my dad fucked off after that, not wanting to raise someone that was a living reminder of what he lost. Wayne’s died in Vietnam. I wasn’t hopeful that mine would work out when it was the most popular guy in school’s name on my arm.”

Steve holds out a hand across the center console of the car, wrist up as a reminder of whose name is written there. Eddie slides their hands together.

“I had accepted that my fate was just like all the other Munson’s before me. You were happy with Wheeler and I couldn’t bring myself to get in the way of that.”

“We weren’t happy,” Steve interjects faintly, absentmindedly rubbing a thumb over the back of Eddie’s hand. “I think somehow Nancy knew it wasn’t going to be her name on my wrist. She’s perceptive in a scary way.” What little he knows of Wheeler tells him that’s true. After a beat Steve adds, “Sounds like we both had unrealistic expectations for all of this.”

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, squeezing Steve’s hand. “But we’re starting over, no more King Steve or Eddie the freak Munson.”

“Just Eddie and Steve. I like the sound of that.” 

“Me, too.” He’s about to ask where they’re going for the hundredth time, but Steve turns into a parking lot for what looks like a bookstore.

The building is nondescript with just a simple sign out front. Eddie is already bounding through the entrance before Steve’s turned the car off. Inside, there are walls of books, but it’s more than that. One side of the store is what appears to be a hobby shop, with puzzles, model kits of everything from boats to planes, and a whole display case of dice sets and miniatures.

Eddie’s frozen in place, just inside the doorway, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly, when he feels Steve come up behind him. “How did you find this place?”

“This kid I babysit plays Dungeons and Dragons, too. He’s the nerdiest little shit. Loves to read. Smartest person I know. He builds all kinds of robots that do stuff. His mom can’t afford to bring him out here all the time, so I started doing it. Let the kid go wild in here and he’s a happy camper. Easiest babysitting job ever.” 

Eddie might climb Steve like a tree right here in the middle of this store for everyone to see. He can’t believe the words Dungeons and Dragons just came out of his mouth.  

“This place is amazing. I’ve been using a secondhand set of dice from Gareth that he got from his cousin. I had no idea this place existed.” 

“You wanna get a new set?” Steve nods towards the display case. “My treat.” 

Eddie almost trips in his hast to sprint across the room and start going through the different sets, Steve’s laughter echoing behind him.

Part Five

[without-school-or-style]

7 - Morsel

Word Count: 709

((No card today. By the time I remembered to draw one, I already had an idea. Some small Dawntrail spoilers for the first dungeon. Lavender Helltear belongs to my wonderful girlfriend, @abeat.))

Thanks to at least two setbacks, the trek through Ihuykatumu took longer than Joey anticipated—first by Bakool Ja Ja, then Thancred. And as the party continued their trek through the dungeon, the dark knight suddenly vanished into thin air.

“He shall be back in a moment’s time,” said the party’s astrologian.

A few seconds of silence later, Joey heard his stomach grumble. “We could clear some of the pathway while waiting for him to come back—”

The astrologian said nothing in response. Instead, she perched upon a rock with a ray of sunshine now beaming down on her. Placing her small satchel by her feet, she procured a spot of tea and some coffee biscuits to be nibbled by her lonesome. Her gaze stared everywhere but at the rest of the party—only the path ahead and the stars that guided her instincts. At least, so Joey and his rapidly increasing hunger believed.

‘Not a bad idea, though.’ Joey thought and took a seat himself.

The blond viera rummaged in his bag for something to snack on. He usually carried at least a quarter of a satchel full of consumable goods—purple carrot juice, sykon bavarois, some cinnamon-spiced chai, or even loaves of knight’s bread. At this point, who knew how long the dark knight would take to show himself again? Some lentil curry sounded filling right about now.

Except when Joey rummaged through the bag, all he found were some materia, pieces of random ores, and a variety of stock potions to cure ailments… every ailment except hunger.

‘Of course. I was cleaning out my bags before the call to duty happened.’ Joey thought. ‘Stupid me. Leave it to me to go unprepared. I should’ve just thrown everything back in the bag, but no. Oh well. Nothing else I can do except wait things out.’

He hugged his legs in a fetal position. When was the last time he ate? Or did fighting physically with little to no magic take that much toll on one’s physical well being? How did people like Teremy manage? Obviously with food, which he didn’t have. Joey’s curiosity to try fighting with only his dual swords and a handful of his magic became a fool’s endeavour at this rate. The rest of the body had caught up to his mental state and he started feeling light-headed, as he did when hunger struck. His body trembled slightly as though searching for nutrients it didn’t have. He selfishly thought to ask the astrologian to share some of her blessings, but she seemed off in her own little world, and Joey felt too guilty to ask.

“Here, Sous-Chef. It’s not much but take some of this,” said the voice of Lavender Helltear, the party’s dancer and Joey’s long-time travel companion.

Joey looked up to see the gorgeous viera woman holding out a hard-boiled egg and a slice of a knight’s bread loaf all wrapped underneath with a napkin. “Are you sure, Chef…?” he asked, using his nickname for her.

“Yes, I’m sure. I brought plenty of snacks to eat,” said Lavender. Leave it to the Mom of the group to come prepared like this. She was always like that. “I know you—you’ll be all I don’t want to burden anyone, but you’re really hungry. Besides, you look like you’re getting faint. So eat up.”

Joey chuckled as weakly as he felt. “Sorry, you’ve been hanging around me that long.”

“Well, I notice these things too, you know,” said Lavender. “And the point is, you need to eat. Who knows what other dangers lie out there, and hunger will just make you prey instead of the predator.”

Joey was too hungry to argue. “Thank you, Chef,” he said and gratefully took the food in both hands.

He slowly nibbled through the food. In minutes, Joey felt energy returning to his body. He felt like he could stand up and fight again. He smiled again at Lavender, this time a little more brightly.

“I owe you one.”

Lavender put her hands on her hips. “Nonsense. This is what friends are for, aren’t they?”

Joey nodded slightly. With a wonderful Mom friend like Lavender, he felt lucky to be alive.

[stackofstories]

Title: ????

Chapter: 5/?????

“Well. That was a huge waste of time,” Connor said, letting out a long breath the second they were away from the Big House.

“What do we tell the kid?”

Connor closed his mouth. “What.”

Travis looked at him like he was plain stupid. “The kid. Nico. What do we tell him?”

“Tell him—?” Connor asked, perplexed.

Travis made a frustrated sound in the back of his throat, pinching his face together. “I know you can be Connor sometimes and worrying about other people isn’t exactly natural for you, but surely, even you can understand how delicate of a situation this is: his sister was nominated for a quest. A quest she’s unprepared for. A quest where she might die.”

“Might is doing a lot. She is going to die.”Connor shrugged. “And I don’t see how that’s our problem.”

“It’s our problem because Nico’s in our cabin,” Travis said. “Because you’re a head counselor.”

Connor snorted and rolled his eyes. “That only means something to you. I’m in it for the shower privileges.”

The pinched look on Travis’s face relaxed. “Yes. I’m trying to be a good head camp counselor because it’s my responsibility and I care for the kids even if they’re just passing through. And I don’t know, maybe, I care about Nico more than I should. You heard what Aphrodite said.”

Connor hesitated.

The goddess of love gave them a simple enough task. Give the shirt to the Hunters. She wanted nothing to stand in the way of Percy going on the mission. In gratitude, she had told them, when Nico gets his heart broken chase after him.

“Nico’s sister is leaving. She should be the one to tell him,” Connor said.

“We agree.” Travis folded his arms. “But I don’t think she will. She’s barely talked to the kid since she’s been here. Whatever her reason, I think the sooner the better. There’s been a lot of excitement tonight.”

Connor found himself nodding along. It had been a lot between the capture the flag game and the oracle deciding to take a midnight stroll.

“We can tell him in the morning during breakfast. There’s barely anyone else out,” Connor said.

“And we’ll tell…”

“Him the truth, Travis. That being a half blood is dangerous. It’s scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways.”

Travis looked at him but Connor could tell he was somewhere else.

“What?” Connor asked.

“It’s just. I don’t know. I’m glad we have each other,” Travis said.

Connor’s grin widened, a warmth in his chest at the acknowledgement of them. “You’re such a chick.”

“Dick.” Travis’s face mirrored his own.

Together they walked the worn path back to their cabin. Thankfully the harpies had been warned of their meeting so they weren’t prowling around waiting to pick one of them off. Nico noticed them first.

He popped up from his spot on the staircase, beaming at them. He raced over. Drew followed at a slower pace.

“You’re not dead. That’s awesome! Look at what Drew got me. Look!” Nico shoved a plastic pack of cards in Connor’s face.

“Nico, I don’t think he can see like that.” Connor heard the smile in Travis’s voice.

A moment later Connor blinked rapidly. Nico chattered. “I’m sorry. It’s the limited edition Africanus Extreme expansion deck. It has Ananasi and Katobleps and Eshu, and so many others. I can’t wait to go back to Westover. Man, Donovan is going to be so jealous. Thank you, Drew.”

“I told you, Nico. It’s no big deal. I was going to give it to my brother for Christmas, but Mom got there before me.” Her eyes were bright as she did a half shrug.

“Very cool.” Travis placed a hand on Nico’s head, gently ruffling before leading him up the cabin. “And it’s way passed lights out. C’mon.”

“I don’t even know who my brother is anymore,” Connor said when they were alone.

Drew’s smile widened.

“He’s a cute kid,” Drew said. “There’s really nothing more to it. The meeting?”

“You’re going to have to keep an eye out for Silena. She’s fixin to fight every Hunter that looks at her funny.”

“Hmm. I’ll talk to the meatheads in Ares. Was it bad?”

“I’ve never heard of a good prophecy,” Connor said.

Drew glared at him, a hand on her hip. “Anything about Annabeth?”

Connor raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t look at me like that. She’s an annoying know-it-all with a self important stick jammed up her cooch. But. She’s Annie.”

“Your heart really has grown three sizes.”

“Why are you so annoying?”

Connor threw his head and laughed. “There wasn’t anything about Annabeth. It was agreed the Hunters would go with their chosen three, then Grover and Thalia would make up our two. Grover promised to search high and low for her.”

“So, Percy’s not going.”

“I think he believes that.”

Drew snorted. “He’s got it bad. Oh well. They’re pretty cute for being basic. I’ve got to go now.”

She waved goodbye to him, sashaying away.

_

The floorboards creaked in the dead of night. It was another reason Connor knew Nico wasn’t theirs. Most of their brothers and sisters don't make noise when they move kinda like an assassin or ninja. Nico's steps were loud and clumsy …

Connor lifted from his mountain of pillows.

“Wait.”

Connor moved close to the edge of the bed, he leaned over, staring at his brother long ways on the bottom bunk.

“Don’t follow him.”

“Werent you the one bitchin’ earlier about how we need to protect the rugrat and swaddle him like he's the newborn baby Jesus?”

Connor couldn't see it but he knew his brother rolled his eyes. “OK, smartass. One day, you and I are gonna sit down and talk about the words compassion and empathy. Anyway, I'm saying we don't follow him because what if he’s seeing his sister.”

“And what if he’s running away with his sister because he learned the truth?”

If he ever found out Travis was going on a quest, he’d follow him in a heartbeat.

“That’s his choice.”

Connor laughed. “The monsters sure will be lucky when the di Angelo’s step passed the boundary. It’s like a two for one deal.”

“Would it kill you to show optimism?”

“Probably.”

“Just leave it. The kid needs some privacy.”

Connor pulled back from the edge and settled on his pillows. He got comfy. It was whatever. If Nico wanted to run away then that was his decision. If the Gods were kind he’d be eaten two seconds alongside his dumbass sister.

It would save them the trouble of having their hopes and dreams die a slow and torturous death.

_

The next morning Bianca and Percy were nowhere to be found and Nico was parked between them swinging his legs as he picked off his fruit salad, bright eyed and bushy tailed as always.

“I have a secret,” he announced.

“Do you now?” Connor buttered his toast.

“Well, I’m not supposed to tell,” Nico’s voice dropped. “Percy might get in trouble.”

“You can trust us,” Travis said as sweet as a sinner in church. Connor nodded.

Nico beckoned them closer. His curious dark eyes darted between their faces. “Percy went on the mission with the Hunters even though he wasn’t supposed too. He promised he would protect Bianca, my sister. I lied to Mister Chiron and he believed me.”

It was adorable how Nico thought he pulled the wool over the eyes of a kid-trained thousands year old being. Travis gave him a look, which told him not to break the fantasy. He was no fun.

“Really?” Travis grinned. “That’s awesome!”

Nico nodded practically purring with self importance.

“But you know Bianca can still get hurt?” Connor asked.

“I know that. That’s why Percy’s going with her. Percy’s the strongest demigod ever. You should have seen him when he was fighting.” Nico mimicked holding a sword slicing the air with his cutting edge noise effects. “He’s a hero! No one can stop him. As long as he’s there nothing bad will happen!”

Did you hear the sound of that flush? There it was. The script of them gently breaking the news of Bianca’s almost sure death just flushed down the toilet with this hero worship crap.

Connor caught the startled look in Travis’ eye and the twitching smile he struggled to keep. He had really fallen head over heels for the kid if he wasn’t prepared to yank him back down to reality.

“Percy’s pretty strong,” Connor agreed around a mouthful of toast. “And he always manages to come back from pretty dire situations. He’d probably crash his own funeral. He’s like a roach now that I think about it. Those things could survive a nuclear blast.”

Nico nodded. He picked off the last remaining pieces of strawberries and blueberries. “I’m all done. Can I go shoot arrows with Drew?”

“Go on,” Travis said softly. “Meet us back at the pavilion at noon.”

Nico headed over nearly tripping over his own feet in his excitement. Without a care in the world.

Travis groaned, he slumped onto the wooden table. His fingers tapped a nervous rhythm.

Connor continued to eat his breakfast. He’d never budge on his opinion even years down the line. They should have told Nico the truth.

Sometimes people made promises they could not keep. Sometimes the best of heroes failed.

[callsigns-haze]

I am in the state of another mental breakdown.

For some reason I am responsible for trying to find tickets to an abroad holiday for Halloween last minute (not going well)

I played 3 matches today. MOTHER FUCKING THREE. ONE FUCKING CAMOGIE AND THEN TWO SOCCER. I don't know how much of y'all I sent videos of me playing or who actually saw me play but my legs are not built for these purposes.

The cinnamon rolls were nice but the double cream spilled in my oven so my oven is boiling double cream.

I am so overstimulated everything I do to my hair flops I hate having wavy hair because tomorrow it'll look like a nest.

I've had three mental breakdowns today even though my grandad got released they have to bring him back in and possibly for longer.

That man is the closest thing I call family along with my mom, grandma and stepdad who adopted all of us kids. Fuck my half brothers this is not about them. My grandad was the one that raised me and everything and now the chances of him dying on us are higher and yes I am gonna cry a-fucking-gain.

Guess who forgot about every single exam this week and is unprepared for everything. Absolutely everything.

I'm so overstimulated and tired that I completely screamed at my bf for asking a stupid ass question. Do I feel bad yes but also well not really.

And everyone in my inbox nagging me about fics. BROTHA I DON'T REMEMBER THE LAST PROPER MEAL I ATE LET ALONE BEEN ABLE TO WRITE IN PEACE.

Also the closest person I met on this app the person I shared shit with and everything who I was able to go to for everything vice versa has left me on delivered (I legit went and checked) FOR OVER A FUCKING WEEK. Yeah and the best thing is that I get so much asks about this person so to the nonnys out there. Yea we don't talk.

So in summary yeah. October kicks my ass every year.

[archivxx]

✯[0.11-extra]✯

Main story.| Previous || Next

AN: this comes before 0.11

Note: there is a significant link between the amount of sunscreen poured in my hands and the intensity of my desire to murder Nichole.

“Now go right.”

“Got it.” Kyle’s finger flicked the indicator. A clicking sound filling the small car. “Going right.”

“No don’t listen to Craig. Turn left.”

Craig leaned forward and swatted Nichole’s arm. “Kyle, trust me. Nicholes never been to the farm. It’s on the right.”

“Google Maps says left.”

“Google Maps is wrong.”

“What do I do?” Kyle made a face in the rearview mirror. “Left or right? N/N, what do I do?”

In the back seat, you looked up from the car window and shrugged. “Try right; if it’s wrong, we’ll just turn around.” You shot Nichole a quick apologetic glance, but she and Craig were too busy mock-glaring each other to notice.

Kyle grimaced. “We’ll be late. God; I hate these stupid picnics.”

“We are, like”—you glanced at the cars clock—“one hour late already, I think we can add an extra ten minutes to that. I just hope there’s some food left.” Your stomach had been growling for the past two hours, and there was no way everyone in the car hadn’t noticed.

After the minor argument you’d had with Clyde over text, you’d been tempted to simply skip the picnic. Hole yourself up in your room and practice the drums—just like you had all weekend—ignore the fact you had told him to fuck off in one of the messages later on, and with every little reason. You could use the time to work on a report you were doing for your friend, which was providing a trickery time than you had originally thought when agreeing to it—probably because you were essentially unprepared for everything. But you’d changed your mind last minute, telling yourself that you’d promised Clyde you’d meet here and show off to the department chair. It would be unfair of you to back out after he’d done more than his share of the deal when it came to convincing Nichole.

That was of course in the very unlikely case he still wanted anything to do with you.

“Don’t worry, Kyle,” Nichole said. “We’ll get there eventually. If anyone asks lest say that a mountain lion attacked us. God, why is it so hot? I bought sunblock, by the way. SPF thirsty and fifty. No one is going anywhere without putting it on.”

In the back seat you, Tolkien and Craig exchanged a resigned look, well acquainted with Nichole’s sunscreen obsession.

The picnic was in full swing when you finally arrived, as crowded as most events with free food. You made a beeline for the tables and waved at your advisor, who was sitting in the shade of a giant oak tree with other faculty members. You’d advisor waved back. No doubt please to see that her advice is probably what got you here. You smiled weakly in a valiant attempt to not look resentful, grabbed a Chester of white grapes, and popped one into your mouth while letting your gaze wander around the fields.

Nichole was right. This may was uncommonly hot. There were people everywhere, sitting on the lawn chairs, laying down in the grass, walking in and out of barns—all enjoying the whether. A few were eating from plastic plates on folding tables close to the main house. There were at least thirty games going on—a verity’s on valley ball with the players standing in a circled, a soccer match, and something that involved a frisbee and over a dozen half dressed dudes.

“What are they even playing?” You asked Nichole. You spotted Tweek tackle someone from admin and looked back to the almost empty tables, cringing. Slim picking was all that was left. You wanted a sandwich. A bag of chips. Anything.

“Ultimate Frisbee, i think? I don’t know. Did you put on sunblock? You’re wearing a tank top and shorts, so you really should.”

You but into another grape. “You Americans and your fake sports.”

“I’m pretty sure there are Canadian tournaments of Ultimate Frisbee, too. You know what’s not fake?”

“Melanoma. Put on some sunscreen.”

“I will, Mom.” You smiled. “Can I eat first?”

“Eat what? There’s nothing left. Oh, there’s some corn bread over there.”

“Oh, cool. Pass it over.”

“Don’t eat the corn bread, guys.” Tolkien popped up between you and Nichole. “Kenny said that some guys needed all over it. Where did Kyle go?”

“Parking—holy shit.”

You looked up from your perusal of the table, alarmed by the urgency in Nichole’s tone. “What?”

“Just, holy shit.”

“Yeah, what—”

“Holy shit.”

“You mentioned that already.”

“Because—holy shit.”

You glanced around trying to figure out what was going on. “What is—oh there’s Kyle. Maybe he found something to eat?”

“Is that Donovan?”

You were already walking toward Kyle to fine something edible and skip the whole sunscreen nonsense altogether but when you heard Clydes name, you stopped dead in your tracks. Or maybe it wasn’t Clydes names but the way Nichole’s was saying it. “What? Where?”

Tolkien pointed at the Ultimate Frisbee crowd. “That’s him, right? Shirtless?”

“Holy shit,” Nichole repeated, her vocabulary suddenly pretty limited, given here twenty something years speaking English. “Is that a six-pack?”

Tolkien blinked. “Might even be an eight-pack.”

“Are those his real shoulder?” Nichole asked. “Did he have shoulder-enhancement surgery?”

“That must be how he used the contract money,” Craig said. “I don’t think shoulders like that exist in nature.”

“God, is that Donovan’s chest?” Kyle leaned his chin over your shoulder “was that thing under his shirt while he was being a dick and shredding my chords a new one? N/N why didn’t you say he was shredded?”

You just stood there, rooted to the ground, arms dangling uselessly at your sides. Because I didn’t know. Because i had no idea. Or maybe you had, a bit, from seeing him push that truck the yesterday—though you’d been trying to suppress that particular mental image.

“Unbelievable” Nichole pulled your hand toward herself, overturning it to squirt a healthy dose of lost job on your palm. “Here, put this in your shoulders. And your legs. And your face, too—you’re probably at thought risk for all sorts of skin stuff, freckles McFreckleface. Ky, you too.”

You nodded numbly and began to massage the sunscreen into your arms and thighs. You breathed in the smell of coconut oil; trying really hard not to the about Clyde and about the fact he really did look like that. Mostly failing, but hey.

“Are there actual studies?” Tolkien asked.

“Mmm?” Nichole was pulling her hair into a bun.

“On the link between freckles and skin cancer”

“I don’t know.”

“Feels like there would be.”

“True. I wanna know now.”

“Hold on. Is there Wi-Fi here?”

“N/N do you have internet?”

You wiped your hands in a napkin that looked mostly unused. “I left my phone in Kyle’s car.”

You turned your head away from Nichole and Tolkien who were studying the screen of Tolkiens iPhone, until you had a good view of the Ultimate Frisbees group—fourteen men and zero women. It probably had to go with the general excess if testosterone in your work place. At least half of the players were people you were sure you’d never seen before except Clyde, of course, and Pete, and Tweek who despite his usual jittery self and then was doing a fairly good job at not-jittering to say he’s usually pumped up with caffeine to a point of concern. All men were equally shirtless. Though, no. Not equal at all. There was nothing equal about Clyde.

You weren’t like this. You were really not. You could count the number of guys your been this viscerally attracted to on one hand. Actually—on one finger. And at the moment said guy was running towards you, because Pete Thelman, and bless his heart, had just thrown the Frisbee way too clumsily, and it was now in a patch of grass approximately ten feet from you. And Clyde, shirtless Clyde, just happened to be the one closest to where it landed.

“Oh, check out this paper.” Tolkien sounded excited.

“Khalesi et al., 2013. It’s a meta-analysis. ‘Cutaneous markers of photo-damage and risk of basal cell carcinoma of the skin.’ In cancer epidemiology, biomarkers and prevention.”

Tolkien fist pumped. “Y/N are you listening?”

Nope. No, you were not. You were mostly trying to help the your brain, and your eyes, too. Of your fake boyfriend and the sudden warm ache in your stomach. You just wished that you were elsewhere. That you were temporarily blind and deaf.

“Hear this: solar lentigines had weak but positive association with basal cell carcinoma, with odds ratios around 1.5. Okay i don’t like this. Tolkien hold the phone. I’m giving Y/N more sunscreen. Here’s SPF fifty; it’s probably what you need.”

You tore your eyes from Clyde’s chest, no alarmingly close, and turned around, stepping away from Nichole. “Wait. I already put some on.”

“Y/N,” Nichole told you, with that sensible, motherly tone she used whenever you dipped and confessed that you mostly got your veggie servings from french fries, or that you washed your colours and whites in the same load. “You know the literature.”

“I do not know the literature, and neither do you, you just know one line from one abstract and—”

Nichole grabbed your hand again and poured half a gallon of lotion in it. So much of it that you had to use your left palm to prevent it from spilling over—until you were just standing there like an idiot, you hands cupped like a beggar as you half frowns in goddamn sunscreen.

“Here you go.” Nichole smiled brightly. “Now you can protect yourself from basal cell carcinoma. Which, frankly, sounds awful.”

“I…” you would have face-palmed, if you’d had the freedom to move your upper limbs. “I hate sunscreen. It’s sticky and it makes me smell like a piña colada and—this is way too much.”

“Just put on as much as your skin will absorb. Especially around the freckled areas. The rest you can share with someone.”

“Okay. Nichole, you take some, you too Kyle. You’re a ginger for God’s sake.”

“A redhead with no freckles, though.” He smiled proudly like he’d created his genotype all on his own.

You turned to Tolkien. “I already put on a ton. Thanks, babe.” He leans down for a brief kiss to Nichole’s cheek, which almost devolved into a make out session.

You tried not to sigh. “Guys, what do I do with this?”

“Just find someone else. Where did Craig go?”

Tolkien snorted. “Over there, with Scott.”

“Scott?”

“Yeah that guy with diabetes, you know the one.”

“Is he pissing him off? Or—”

“Guys.” It good all you had not to yell. “I have no mobility. Please, fix this sunscreen mess your created.”

“God, N/N” Nichole rolled her eyes. “Your so dramatic sometimes. Hang on—” she waved at someone behind your, and when she spoke her voice was much louder. “Hey, Donovan! Have you put on sunscreen yet?”

In the span of a microsecond your entire brain burst into flames then crumbled into a pile of ashes. Just like that, one hundred million neurones, one thousand billion glial cells, and who know how many millilitres of cerebrospinal fluid, just ceased to exist. The rest of your body was not doing very well, either, since you could feel your organs shut down in real time. From the very beginning of your acquaintance with Clyde there had been about ten instances of you wishing to drop dead on the spot, cor the earth to open up and swallow your whole, for a cataclysm to hit and spare you from the embarrassment of your interactions. This time, though it felt as though the end of the world might happen for real.

Don’t turn around, what’s left of your central nervous system told you. Pretend you didn’t hear Nichole. Will this into nonexistence. But it was impossible. There was this triangle of sorts, formed by You, Nichole in front of you, and Clyde probably—surely—standing behind you; it wasn’t as if your had a choice. Any choice. Especially when Clyde, who couldn’t possibly imagine the depraved direction of Nichole’s thoughts, who couldn’t possibly see the bucketful of sunscreen that had taken residence in your hands, said, “No.”

Well. Shit.

You spun around, and there he was—sweaty holding a Frisbee in his left hand and so very, very shirtless. He walked over to you, a perplexed look briefly occupying his face before he returned to his regular stoic one, then one of slight shock upon seeing your hands. He knew exactly what was coming.

“Perfect. Y/N has some extra, why don’t you let her put it on you?” Somehow the complete severity of the situation only just dawned on you when the words left Nichole’s lips. You were going to have to touch him. Touch his abs. And his large shoulder blades. His large shoulders—

“Oh okay, sure.” He threw the Frisbee back to the game telling them that he had to do something. Your eyes shot to him. Why was he agreeing to this? Many thoughts circled your mind. The main one being panic. You couldn’t do this. No way. There was no way you would lather Clyde Donovan in sunscreen in front of every person you have ever—and will ever know. Your eyes flickered between the sunscreen in your hands and Clyde’s broad chest. You were not going to do this. No way in hell. You couldn’t. And yet the sunscreen in your hands had starts to seep through the cracks in your hands leaving you with only one choice.

Fuck your life, for a real one.

You took once glance at Clyde to check his expression, you wanted him to retract his former statement, tell you that it was absolutely unacceptable considering the fact that you had only known this guy for a little over two month now and had spoken to him a total of twenty-three times and hardly knew anything about him. And despite all that wishing his expression didn’t change.

You raised your hand and started to massage the sunscreen into his chest. His firm chest. You tried your very best not you but the sweat began to collect in your hairline and the way that the sun was shining on you there was so doubt he could see it, glistening.

“Y/N.” Clyde said, it wasn’t loud enough that the group now behind you could hear but it was loud enough that your could hear. You looked up at him, his mouth did one of those twitch-things of his again. “Don’t worry about it.”

You heaved a sigh. He was right, you guys were going to find yourself in situations like this all the time now, considering you had a track record for it with Nichole. However that didn’t make the situation any less embarrassing. If anything that made you more embarrassed at the mere thought of something of this monstrosity happening ever again. Part of you couldn’t believe what you had gotten yourself into the other part told you you were insane. Of course this was your life, of course because what other purpose would your best friend had than to make it hell?

You continued to massage it into his skin. “Hey, Y/N are you good for a room when we go to Pete’s thing?” Your head whipped around to Nichole as a small seed of anxiety planted itself in your thoughts. What on earth could that question entail?

“I thought we’d be sharing?”

“Well, about that. I’m going to share with Tolkien, do you mind?”

Right, of course. “No! Not at all.” You forced a tight smile onto your face and looked back at Clyde, trying to focus all your attention on him.

“You’re gonna be okay for getting a room? You’re sure?”

“Positive!” You were lying to your best friend. While it felt shitty this is what you had wanted, this is what you had asked for at the start of all this, you had to be happy.

You focused fully on Clyde, blocking all of the thoughts about how you were going to stay in LA for a week out of your head and to be thought about on a later date. By now, you had fully coated Clydes front. You looked up at him. He cocked his head ever so slightly. His thick brown hair sticking to his forehead.

“Can you turn around? I finished your front.” He nodded then turned around. You were now met with his back. Holy shit was his back big. You couldn’t see all his muscles. Which wasn’t something you were typically attracted too but considering when he’s dressed he looks so skinny, his sleeper build was causing that heat to erupt in your stomach again. You were going to fight it off but you were interrupted by Clydes awkward swaying, you’d been buried in your mind for far too long.

You began to massage the sunscreen into his back, his muscles moved a little, jolting when you hit tight spots. This felt wrong. Like an outer body experience. Part of you thought you were going to double down on yourself at at moment. It was all just too much. You wanted you laugh at the pure idiocy of the situation but at the same time you wanted to cry at it. It was wrong—on every level possible.

You finished his back as fast as you could finishing it off with two taps on his back to let him know you were done—something you would cringe about when trying to fall asleep that night. He turned back to you. You looks at him, straining your neck. Why was he so goddamn tall?

“Well, thank you Y/N and thank you Nichole for…watching out for me?” With that he ran back to the game. Maybe he was still annoyed at you for the yesterdays mini argument. You stood rooted to the spot for a moment before turning around and grabbing the same napkin you had used the first time to wipe you hands and wiped them again.

“Wow.” Kyle said, approaching you. “That was an insane amount of sexual tension I just saw.”

You whipped your head around to Kyle, a breathy laugh forcing out of your lungs. “I have no clue what you’re talking about, Ky.”

“That was like hella sexual. You just lathered him up N/N.”

“So what? It’s just an acquaintance helping an acquaintance.”

“Psh. Yeah right.”

“What? I’m being serious Kyle.” Your voice went a few octaves higher than you would have liked.

“Sure. If you guys ever fuck don’t say I didn’t tell you it would happen.” You rolled your eyes and shoved his shoulder. He dramatically stumbled away from you causing you to roll your eyes once again. Before he could get back up you walked over to Tolkien and Nichole who were now finally joined by Craig.

“Y/N I just saw that m scene with Donovan when I was talking to Scott, what was with the PDA?”

You stared at him. Dumbfound.

“Well come on. You used to complain about how gross couples who publicly doted on each were, where’s that same energy now?”

You stared at him a second more. Craig Tucker. Your childhood best friend and known for being a notorious asshole when it came to teasing. There was nothing Craig did better then pissing people off, which was being shown ever so clearly to you in that moment, one of the main factors to answer for why people don’t like him.

It took you more than physically restraint to not tell him to fuck off, or to sock him right in the face, instead you opted for the latter’s latter and shoved his head back, plopping yourself next to Nichole leaving a spot for Kyle next to you.

You would be counting down the seconds till you could go home.

Masterlist

Taglist: @bootsieboo @ryenwritess @h3artilly @southparktegreity @

[detective-prince-pkmn]

Pelipper mail: A bittersweet dream, this time. You mother’s grave was cheaply bought, but you can afford to pay the groundskeeper to maintain it, expensive flowers and incense for her now.

“I’m sorry, Goro,” she says. She is standing behind you. She is long dead. She isn’t here anymore.

“I wish I could be angry at you,” you mumble. You never could. “No. That’s a lie. I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” She sits down beside you, skin free of makeup and hair hanging loose. She doesn’t look like a doll or a corpse. Just…tired, and young. Far too young. Age was just a number back then, but now you realize just how vastly unprepared she must have been to be a mother. How young she must have been when she started sex work.

“Why did you leave me?” Your voice cracks. Weakness, loathed and all too familiar, but you cannot bring yourself to bury it in anger. Not today.

“I couldn’t take it anymore, Goro. I was young and stupid and I thought I saw a way out. But I ran away from the only thing that made my life worth living. I ran away from you.”

“Was I not enough?” Here, in the quiet lonely graveyard of unfinished fog circling the edges, the plea slips out. “Why wasn’t I enough for you, mom? Why couldn’t I save you?”

“Oh, sweetheart, you were just a child. It was never your responsibility. You saved me so, so many times, you kept me going for years, but in the end….” Her face twists with grief and unshed tears. “Sometimes the love isn’t enough to change how a story ends, Goro. Tragedies are tragedies. But it mattered. It mattered that we had a little home together and you told me about Featherman and I sat you on a chair next to the stove and we made shapes out of apple peels, it mattered. The love was there and the family was there and it mattered, and I loved you more than words could ever say.”

But it wasn’t enough. She fades away into mist when you reach out to touch her. The love mattered. The love wasn’t enough.

It should have been enough. I wish it had been. It's not fair...

[thegeminisage]

ASK MEME

i got tagged by @runawaymarbles, tyvm i lov doing these

What book are you currently reading?

no books atm but i'm actually getting through the entire tag of a rarepair from ff13...only 41 fics :(

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theatres this year?

did i go to a theater this year...? surely at least once. OH YEAH i went to see sonic 2. since that's the only movie i saw in theaters this year that'll be my favorite one

What do you usually wear?

comfy-at-home clothes: tank top, shorts, no-show socks, hair fork, & bandana. out & about clothes: bandana & hair fork if i'm working or my hair needs washing, otherwise i keep it loose. a lot of black pants/shorts and bright glittery monochrome or tye-dye tank tops w/ black or rainbow choker, rainbow earrings, pride bracelet, smiley face ring, rainbow ring, ace ring, and sometimes my triforce necklace. if it's cold i will also wear rainbow arm warmers/socks and fingerless gloves with the pink peace symbols on them. if i'm REALLY dressing up i will wear rainbow tights under a long shirt or short dress. wow sorry this is the longest answer so far i just really love bright fashion!!! i can't believe god nerfed me by making plus sized clothes fucking suck so bad

How tall are you?

5’1 :/

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

i think i'm actually a cancer LMFAO. and stuck with this username...idk about any celebrities but my birthday IS on the summer solstice which is absolutely bitchin' in my professional opinion. i could not possibly have asked for a better date although i do wish it didn't have to fall on father's day sometimes

Do you go by your name or a nick-name?

i go by liz which is not my legal first name. technically my legal middle name isn't liz either it's like elizabeth obviously but my first name is cringefail and nobody can spell it OR say it so i just don't tell most people what it is lol. i started going by liz when i was in 8th grade and sometimes my mom STILL messes it up...

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

no BUT as a kid i really really really really REALLY wanted pink hair. as an adult no one can stop me. kid me would be so jealous of adult me's look in EVERY way

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

good at: dreaming. you know how in the 40s-60s most people dreamed in black and white because that was how tv looked? apparently if you play enough video games you'll get so good at controlling a simulated environment you can simply wake up on command. i never completely mastered lucid dreaming but it's a neat trick anyway. bad at: sleeping. exhibit a: i am answering this meme at 2:30 in the fucking morning, and i have not had 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep since december 10. that's like 28 days!

Dogs or cats?

CATS!!!!!!! i like dogs too tho

What’s something you would like to create stuff for?

i would love to draw some zelda art. i just need a new tablet sadly none of the old ones work with my pc

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

UGH i can't post it, it's in the undisclosed project

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

so a very long time ago when we were teenagers my brother showed me minecraft. i played half an hour of it and then gave the controller back and told him i couldn't keep going because i would quite literally never put it down if i did. unfortunately i did NOT show that same level of foresight and self-restraint when downloading the demo of SLIME RANCHER. in my defense i was utterly unprepared for its sheer potency. i played exactly four minutes of the demo before i caved and bought it - $5 was a steal - without realizing how absolutely lethal it is to combine adhd with a farming sim especially during seasonal depression months. this thing has been churning out dopamine so fast my stupid little rat brain can't keep up. i'm frying every last pleasure receptor i ever had as thoroughly as i possibly can. i am begging one of you to physically come to my house and uninstall it from my pc.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

andor 🙏 sorry to all andor enjoyers but it fucking sucked (except for the prison break)

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

i'm freakishly good at packing things. items into boxes, boxes into vehicles, organizing drawers and closets, etc. at my house we call it "tetrising" since i guess that's a pro gamer move that translates to the real world..................

Are you religious?

no i am disqualified for being gay <3

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

a completed copy of this photo album i'm supposed to be making. i got behind bc i was playing slime rancher :(

ok im tagging @slaygentford @maulthots @brownbicon @machidielontheway @paty-ofarrell @ozymandiasdirge @moogleterra @marcelgerard @elsa12tmnt @smellslikebot @youngbenkenobi and anyone else who wants to do it, do it & say i tagged you!!

[poemgirl22]

You Know Who You Are

You had me captivated from the first conversation.

We used to text and call each other all of the damn time.

Looking back now past the infatuation.

I don’t know what I was doing, I damn lost my mind.

You drew me in with your charm and your long hair.

That southern accent had me weak in the knees.

As a grown woman I now see I was so unprepared

For the kind of havoc you’d inflict on 16 year old me.

You begged me to move down to Kentucky to be with you.

You said we’d finally have a chance to together.

And deep down I guess I always knew

There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for a shot at forever.

So in 2010 I packed my backs and left my hometown.

My mom dropped me off in those college dorms.

Thought to myself I couldn’t wait to find out

What life would be like now that I’m yours.

Walked around the college campus.

Taking in the thrill of it all.

Then the worst thing I could have ever imagined.

Happened right there in the dinner hall.

A pretty blonde held onto your arm and not in a friendly kind of way.

Something tells me inside she really believed she was with you.

And I knew that was the very day.

Everything you ever told me was not true.

But I was weak so every time you would text.

I would give in because I loved you so.

Even if you only used me for sex.

I became okay with this until it spun me out of control.

I remember we went to a Halloween party.

And after we all went to your friends apartment.

And you were angry because I was getting naughty.

In front of your face, grinding one of your friends.

What was I to you after all?

Help me ease my mind that’s the least you can do.

Was I only just “for a good time call?”

Did I mean anything at all you to???

I spent years longing for you.

I moved three states away just to be your everything.

And you couldn’t be bothered to tell me the truth.

You strung me along because you knew you had that hold on me.

You’d have me take naked pictures and videos.

Said what we had was “only a job.”

Made me out to look like a psycho.

When shit went down I knew I had to get lost.

So I packed my things and moved back home.

Left your stupid ass to miss all that we were.

I glued together every piece of my heart you broke.

For once I finally put myself first.

And 10 years later you still try to wheel me in.

You still think you’re full of charm and appeal.

But now that I know you’re completely full of shit.

You never truly had me now you never will.

So next time you try to reach out just remember

All of the times I tried fighting for you.

You put my body, mind and soul through the shredder.

There isn’t a thing you haven’t put me through.

I hope you find what it is you desire.

I hope you treat her better than you ever did me.

In my mind you will go down as the ultimate liar.

Never again will I subject myself to your misery.

[blondrichclosetwitch]

O sister, mother, wife,

Sweet Lethe is my life. I am never, never, never coming home! (Lethe is the river where the dead drink to forget their life on earth)

I'll pick you

I'll take you

I did it

And undo

Take a closer look

Study this and ask yourself "Where is God?"

This place doesn't know

This place doesn't care

This is a no-man's land

(I am, threatening to some)

This is a no-God's land

Look at those trees again

(Must be explained)

Look at the bark

Forget your name, how to walk and ignore

Wake up when you’re dead (as in, you’ll realize how you wasted your life when you have the perspective of death, and how you’re gonna have to go back and do it all over again because karma)

General Joy, it seems you don't love your bride

That doesn't mean you're a bad guy

Generally you're friends but she is not the love of your life

To dye, to perm, to change your hair

Or your wife, the possibilities are there

And it's time for you to decide

And I know you will always love sorrow

It's more than what you bargained for, but it's a little less than what you paid for

Tell my mother I'm going home

I have been destroyed by hippie powers

Awakening Intuition

All I know is I was enchanted, to meet you

Words are destined to break down (Ma, ma, mama, ma ma)

Your mother's said, "your girl is gone"

And all those stupid little things they ain't working, they aren't working at all

Lesson learned, wish me luck

I'm not like them, but I can pretend

Take my shot under the light

heroes come the common way

Placed in history

I'll go out of my way to prove I still smell her on you

Raphael is the Archangel of Healing

Mantra for Saraswati to bless your writing

I'm on the path of trust, singing Whatever it takes, receive of the Light

Terror will take whatever it likes (It's in your favour)

Osho you ask of us, singing:

If courage is love of the unknown Consider the powers parading you home

I just feel shame, shame, shame* (this refers to some ancestral healing work that I was told about involving people here)

And now you're tearing through the pages and the ink

His pills

I couldn't tell you that any other way

You're the blood in me, you're on earth though

I sprint across the parking lot cause that day we were unprepared

Lightning bugs to die in jars (this is about how in ‘17 I was told Jakk was told the world was going to end when he was catching fireflies at age 4, about Chernobyl)

Full of films

I'll pay you back in plastic eyes

Fathering Love (seems worth mentioning fathering love followed been a son)

Aum Ekadantaya Viddhamahe, Vakratundaya Dhimahi,
Tanno Danti Prachodayat॥

For men of war are we

If I can only make one man aware, one person care, then I'II have done what I promised you*

So dark, so dark and deep the secrets that you keep

And they say it is a capital offense

I’ve been waiting so long to be where I’m going (25/7 sotd)

Et dans tes yeux je crois revoir le ciel des grèves!

Take these chains away

4th Chakra—Heart

Don’t kill thy song that sings so we can heal the harm inside

I’ll make you sorry

It’s like I told you: if you stay, I’ll stay

The secret marriage is never broken

Choke! Choke!

I hate that this will happen, but I know that it'll happen

Concert symphony with movement

I never meant to cause you any sorrow

Throw off your shame of being slave to the system.

I see you take another drag, you like to dance to the rolling head of the adultress, you sing in praise of suicide. *

I'm sending consolation prizes to my next of kin, allies

Tell my brother that it gets much easier

All of my old friends aren't so friendly

A hurricane being born

“This freedom it might cost you your liberty.”

It's the little things that give you away

Bet it’s because of her daddy

I got a million trillion things I'd rather fuckin' do than to be fuckin' with you

And every day I wake up celebratin' shit, why?

‘Cause I just dodged a bullet from a crazy bitch, I (2:09 :08/:17)

Everything got a bad side, even a conscience

Now you're drinkin' 'til you're unconscious

My momma told me, stop the painkillers

“I got mob ties.”

Revenge is the saddest thing

Lay down in our mother's arms for here we can rest safely

“I'm not here. This isn't happening.”

Life is a fantasy until you wake up in shock

When awful people, they surround you, well, ain't they just like monsters?

They will, with minimal disruption to your routine, change your whole scene

They'll take it apart, put it back together…strangely familiar but never quite the same again

It's giving fetish

Fetish rap, fetish sex, fetish icon

But it's not all right. It's not even close to all right.

Testify or tell

So let it be known through what we believe in

I can see no reason for it to fail

“We had a suit, a legal suit.”

“What they didn’t understand was…I wanted everything.”

But ain't no gyroscope can spin forever

He says it’s over and it’s such a release

It’s finally happened and he’s making his peace

The Jekyll and Hyde shit will finally cease

[lovely--lover]

Hellfire Club Things

Just my thoughts on the Hellfire Club members and there role in the club 😊 thank you for the idea @sat-nam-saint​ 

Eddie Munson

🔥The leader of course!! Bosses everyone around and tells them what to do and they listen because they all look up to him

🔥Takes credit for the creation of Corroded Coffin but it was totally Gareth's idea. Gareth was like we should start a band 😊 and Eddie said no that's stupid and like 2 weeks later Eddie was like we should start a band 😊 and ta da Corroded Coffin was made

🔥Loves to DM because he gets to do different voices and be dramatic the entire time (and he gets to control the story)

🔥Asked his uncle to build him the D&D table because the one the school gave wasn't big enough. He and his Uncle stayed late at the school for a week building it.

🔥Gives all the members a ride home when it rains because if they were sick they couldn't make game night but its actually because he loves them or whatever 🙄 lol

Gareth

🔥 All I can say is poor Gareth 😔

🔥Gareth is the Hellfire Club pickle trash can. If its cheeseburger day at school there will be a small pile of pickles on his tray and the other members won’t let him leave until they're gone.

🔥“Gareth this smells weird...eat it” “Gareth I saw a spider in this box.....stick your hand in it” “Gareth there’s something on your shirt.....got you!”

🔥Eddie throws dice at him when he’s mad

🔥 Watches romance movies and tried to talk about it with the club and everyone was like "Shut up Gareth" 🙄

🔥What I’m saying is Gareth cant catch a break!! 

Jeff

🔥He is the most ‘normal’ member of the group (his name is literally Jeff)

🔥Sets up study sessions for Gareth and Eddie. Eddie will not study at all and raid his pantry. Gareth will study for a little before joining Eddie and eating all of Jeffs food and playing his games. (And yes Jeff’s mom does yell at him because were does all the food keep going she just went grocery shopping 🙄)

🔥Secretly loves to bake and occasionally brings them to Hellfire Club and says his mom made them 

🔥Washes his Hellfire Club shirt by itself because he doesn't want it to accidently get ruined

🔥When the club name was being created he suggest Dice Dudes and Eddie was like I’ll hurt you don't say that ever again

Dustin Henderson

🔥 Watches romance movies and talks about them with Gareth in secret (he wants Eddie to think he's cool 🥺)

🔥Argues about the accuracy of fighting techniques in D&D

🔥When the other members need help with homework they immediately go to Dustin because he is the smartest of them all!

🔥Brags about having an amazing girlfriend Suzie to all the other members! And tries to give them dating and love advice since he is so experienced lol

🔥Always tells Eddie how he should continue the campaign and what should happen next. Writes out detailed documents to Eddie about different storylines

Mike Wheeler

🔥 Designated Hellfire Club spider killer. Everyone else is too baby but Mike is like whatever 🙄 stomps on it

🔥Puts up with the foolery because he likes D&D

🔥 Also is the foolery because he always comes late and unprepared to sessions. No dice, no pencil, character sheet? Must of left it at home

🔥Forgets Gareth's name so he’s always like “Hey....you!” because he doesn't want to ask and later on Dustin is like “You forgot his name again huh?”

🔥Honestly is there for the vibes and Dustin 

Lucas Sinclair

🔥What do you think 🙄

🔥(Before the betrayal) He would always forget to wear his Hellfire Club shirt

🔥Whenever something was up high or out of reach the other members would always ask Lucas to grab it

🔥The most reasonable D&D player and make everyone wait while he plans out the different scenarios that could happen and everyone is like omg hurry up!

Erica Sinclair

🔥Everyone is lowkey scared of Erica (as they should be 😌)

🔥Puts everyone in their place when they're out of line

🔥 Tells Eddie his hair is as bad as his DM skills when he gets on her nerves which is often

🔥 Gareth asked her about My Little Pony once and she was like get the hell away from me now!

Freak 1

🔥He’s there to laugh at Eddies jokes and hype him up basically

🔥 Chronic cheese dust fingers 

🔥I do not know this man sorry if he’s your babe or whatever lol

Masterlist

[kpop-dungeon-dark]

ALPHA HYBRID!JONGIN X YOU

•TRIGGER WARNING•

Warning(s): Semi-Noncon, breeding, claiming. Both characters are of legal age in this. This does not represent Kim Jongin nor anyone affiliated in any way and is purely a work of fiction. Browse at your own risk, you've been warned.

Request: Your mate Alpha Jongin claims you on a full moon against your will.

Y/n rolled her eyes at the eldest son of the Kims, Jongin, before she sipped on her drink and walked to the other side of the hall where the party was being held. She was only here because her mom forced her to do so, saying the whole family was invited and it'd be rude. The annoyed girl was standing in one of the many big balls of his mansion. And Jongin was so damn cocky, arrogant, proud and fucking smug.

The Kims were an elite wolf hybrid family and Jongin's father was the current mayor of the city. Humans and wolf hybrids coexisted throughout the whole world with almost all the hybrids being elite, the specie almost a class of its own. Currently, Jongin was showing off some project he was working on for the city whilst literally eye fucking Y/n who was the daughter of his father's human bestfriend.

She wondered what girl would fall for him. He was way too fucking over confident in himself and his abilities. The man carried himself like he was above everyone else around him and probably thought that too. How could anyone like him? Ugh. He was too much to bear with.

.

"You seemed bored during my speech." Y/n broke out of her trance, jumping a bit when she heard the familiar deep voice behind her. Rolling her eyes she stood up straight now as she was leaning against the railing of one of the many balconies of the mansion, staring at the full moon. "Tsk… isn't this kind of weather cold for you humans? What if you get sick, you foolish little girl…" Before his warm coat was draped over her naked shoulders.

Clenching her fist, the girl turned around to glare up at him. "I am 20! I am not litt-" she stopped abruptly when she came in face to chest contact with the taller, gulping at how he was staring down at her. "J- Jongin…" She whispered, throat dry.

"Hm…?" He casually sounded like he didn't have her trapped against the railing like that. Looking down at her soft curly locks, he softly pushed them out of her pretty face, tucking the strands behind her ear. "Better now that I can see that beautiful face fully."

Y/n felt her legs trembling. She had never been this close to another man let alone Kim fucking Jongin! "Y- Your eyes… t- they're… r- red…" The girl had always found the fact that they could shift into literal wolves terrifying, that was also one of the many reasons she avoided interacting with hybrids as much as she could.

"They are?" Putting his hands on the railing on the Y/n's either sides, the man leaned down and levelled their gazes, staring down at her calmly. He liked how her cheeks were red and pupils shook with fear. Good. "It's a full moon after all. They get like this on such nights. But don't worry, doll. I won't hurt you. I've trained plenty to keep Kai under control. He doesn't bite" before he grinned, his own words contradicting his body because his teeth looked sharper and longer.

"O- Oh alright… I- I'll go then~" shrugging his coat off, the girl tried to escape but oh no.

"Did you think about what I said, little one?" His bigger hand grasped her smaller one before he pulled her right back into him. "My confession… the other day." Jongin raised an eyebrow and spoke before she would try to play dumb. "You're my mate, baby. I need you on these nights… But you're always so busy running away from your Alpha… your mate… your guardian…" His voice was sickeningly low and sweet, plump lips grazing against her cheek. "Your protector and owner."

Angered from his last words, the girl furrowed her eyebrows and glared up at him. "I- I can protect myself just f- fine! Thank you! N- Now let me g- go! I already told you I like someone else! Y- You're a hybrid! I am human! Do you really think I am t- that stupid?! NO. We can't be mates! We are different species!"

The male sighed and shook his head. "Not when you stutter like that. Tsk. You just have to make it so much harder and complicated than it actually is, right? Little brats like you just won't learn until they're taught. And luckily your Alpha is here to teach you all that you need to learn."

Usually, he'd be able to keep his wolf under control much more as well as his anger. But the moon shining so bright right in his face was not helping. And then this little girl right here, huffing so adorably in her top cut low dress was looking so damn beautiful. Her constant denial wasn't helping.

"Thinking your Alpha is a liar…" Throwing her over his shoulder, he smacked her ass. "Tsk. You deserve to be punished harshly for that, my little human" before another smack landed on her ass as the man entered his bedroom, locking the door before he threw her struggling form on the bed.

"L- LET ME GO! Y- YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Before she tried to take her heels off to hit him with that, making him throw his head back and laugh loudly.

"What a pathetic little mate I have!" Smacking her hands out of the way, the man ripped her shoes off before ripping her dress from the bottom all the way up to the top, causing her to squeak and try to hide herself. "Fuck! You're so beautiful, my little mate!" Catching her kick mid-air, the man crawled on top of her and smacked her lips softly before kissing her. "Trying to hurt your Alpha? Bad baby."

Y/n was constantly running her mouth while crying but the Alpha turned a deaf ear to it. "Just give into the way of the moons, my pretty one, you'll be so much better." Trapping her hands that she was continuously hitting him with above her head, the male started kissing her face all over, tasting her tears and getting hard on them. "So good…" Before Jongin pulled her underwear down and gagged her mouth with it, the girl's screams were muffled now.

"You're so pretty with your mouth stuffed by your underwear, baby." Holding her hands tightly in a bruising grip, the hybrid unzipped his pants, holding her thighs open with his knees before his fingers started to rub against her pussy lips, pushing them open and now playing with her folds, making her sensitive body jump up in his chest from the sudden stimulation, her slit leaking.

Jongin chuckled. "You tell me no but your body can't deny me, huh? Seems like it is much more obedient than this dumb little girl here, tsk." Y/n whined and tried kicking her legs when he pinched her pussy lips painfully. "Look at this wet cunt, tsk!" Before he smacked her folds, causing the girl to scream in pain, his cock standing up painfully hard. "You want another man?!" His fingers turned into half claws, voice getting animalistic. "Well too bad the only man that's going to be fucking you and having you is me!"

Y/n's head was pounding. She hated how good and wet she felt. Her entrance was clenching needily, wanting just any object to push in her right now. Even if it was a marker like she had back home. Of course she was naughty. The girl was 20 after all!

"Fuck baby I need you now~" before the Alpha pushed in her unprepared pussy. No marker or even toy would have prepared for this. Jongin's knot was fucking huge! The human's eyes widened and mouth fell open, her body jerking when he instantly hit her g-spot, not being able to hold back especially because of the full moon and going berserk, thrusting his whole thick knot in and out of her, snapping his fists rapidly.

"You like this baby?! You're inviting me further and further in like you love it!" Pinching her nipples, the man started to suck and bite at her tits, sucking wherever his lips touched and covering her in hickies. "Fuck baby! You're so fucking warm and tight!" He loved the smell of her purity coating his cock, balls upping in without any effort.

"You deny me like that but your body says yes. You're mine after all! And I'll rightfully fucking claim you as such!" Y/n felt her body submit more and more, eyes falling shut as she tried to breathe through her nose because her whole underwear was stuffed in her mouth.

"Tsk… you're blushing in pleasure… look at this naughty fucking girl!" Before he kissed her lips harshly, biting at them before he guided his hand back to her pussy, rubbing at her clit with his thumb while going faster and faster, licking at her dripping sweat. "You like it, Princess?! You like being forced to lay under your Alpha?! Tsk. I should have known! Little girls like you end up being the most desperate whores!"

Letting go of her hands, the man grabbed her jaw and moved her face, licking at the marking point, the junction between her shoulder and neck before he bit down hard, drawing blood out while she screamed and started to squirt, feeling her pussy spasm as her hands gripped his shoulders, shaking.

"I am going to fill your adorable little tummy with my pups. You'd like that, won't you, baby?" Jongin licked at the fresh claim mark on her skin, starting to fill her with his cum before hitting it up her g-spot repeatedly, Y/n's eyes rolled to the back of her head as she gripped his shoulders, trembling under him.

"Tell me how you feel, my pretty human…" The hybrid male husked before he pulled the underwear out of her mouth and kissed her passionately. His hands groped her perfect skin as he stopped thrusting, still letting his cock rest in her, balls deep.

"A- Alpha… Alpha please f- fill my tummy…" She finally submitted, sobbing. "I- I am sorry…" He was right. She could feel it now after being touched and claimed like this. "Y- You were r- right… I- I can feel it… I only w- want you… P- Please fill my tummy with your puppies…" Jongin smiled and kissed her tears.

"Good girl."

.

This is a pretty old request I found laying around along some others. I don't even have the actual request anymore so I made up a summary of the events that unfold.

[80s4life]

The Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing

Word Count: 4,438

Status: Not Requested

Fandom: Back To The Future 1985

Relationship: Biff Tannen x Female Reader

Summary: As time is altered for a total of 2 weeks (I extended it slightly), you and Marty struggle to get his parents under control, having problem after the next. But, when an unexpected solution occurs, you find yourself willingly okay with it, soon finding the exact reason as to why.

Warnings: language, fluff, Biff being a dick, slight angst, cute Biff

Masterlist Back To The Future Masterlist

Prompts: (from this list @youneedsomeprompts​)

Y/C/S= Your Choice of Sport/ Your Chosen Sport (you don’t have to honestly play one, just choose one you like or one that comes to mind)

{gif and prompts are not mine, gif credits go to @backtothefuturemovies and credits were given above for prompts!}

No one ever said time travel was fun. No one ever said the job was easy. And no one sure as hell told you the consequences that come with it. Well, at least not before you, and your best friend, Marty McFly, had gone dead-on through a barn, sacred a neighboring family of ‘alien invasion,’ run into younger McFly parents, and altered time just enough to fuck you over for a few days.

I mean, who would’ve guessed right? Your mom just so happens to be romantically interested in you, their child. Well, that was at least in Marty’s case. For you, you had just managed to run into the biggest dickhead of the century, Biff Tannen. Or so you thought?

Making your way out of bed, you automatically go to where Marty was sleeping in the garage, waking him along with Doc up. The go-to plan for the day was to go undercover as usual students in the 50′s, secretly following Marty’s parents around, finding out where they lie in this part of time, and try to find ways into manipulating them together once more in time for Marty and you to get back home. Easy enough, right?

Groaning, Marty goes to slap your hands away weakly, mumbling something along the lines of ‘Just a few more minutes.’ You giggle slapping his hands back in an attempt to wake him up cheerily. Mornings weren’t really your forte either, so any upbeat wake-up is better than a pissy, tired, horrible morning. 

Doc, on the other hand, was happy to return the affection, getting out of bed to give a quick hug and kiss to the forehead. Then he makes his way over to the bed, going to tickle Marty’s feet as you go to tickle his sides. Finally, in a fit of laughter, Marty gets up and goes straight for the bathroom. You were going to argue him, having to use the bathroom first, but decide to just leave it be, heading for the makeshift kitchen instead.

You smile fondly as Doc and Marty play around a while later, wrestling about, cracking jokes. It was only just a few hours ago that you and Marty had witnessed the untimely death of the currently very lively man in the house. Witnessing the blood loss, the machine gun in action, and the bullets that whizzed pass with only one malicious intent: to kill. But he’s here now; he’s safe and sound, having many years until that date will arrive.

With the freshly cooked smell of eggs, toast, and pancakes, the boys straighten up, Doc clearing his throat in an attempt to organize himself, and Marty leaving his shirt ruffled as he follows the smell of deliciousness. You giggle as both men of different ages act exactly the same, piling their plates high and digging in, giving thanks through mouthfuls.

///LATER///

After breakfast had finished, you and Marty made your way to the school, not wanting to be late, and, quite frankly, not wanting to miss a second in the disaster we’re in, wanting to fix it as soon as possible. Upon entering, the building erupts in laughter, tears, screaming, perfume, cologne, aftershave, and lots and lots of both testosterone and estrogen. Fucking high school, you smile.

Going to “your locker” right besides “Marty’s,” you both place the books and supplies that are unneeded inside it and take only the things you need for the first two classes, somehow having those together. As Marty catches glimpse of his father, George McFly, he winks at you, moving to catch up to him. Rolling your eyes playfully, you turn back towards your locker, just barely missing a group of young men some ways down the hallway, locking eyes with a particularly taller man, towering almost everyone in the halls.

You pay no mind, however, being blindsided by three girls your age. Instantly, you recognize the one right in front as Lorraine, Marty’s mother. Smiling nervously, your cheeks tint only a little, being unprepared to see her so quickly, not yet having a plan made up on how you could help tackle the situation with Marty.

“Hiya! I’ve never seen you before, are you new here? I’m Lorraine Baines, and you are?” she asks cheerfully, her books clasped tightly to her chest.

Taking an obnoxiously long time staring dumbfounded, you finally realize you haven’t spoken, quickly recovering with newfound purpose and confidence, “Ah, yes! I am new here! Sorry, I’m just trying to get used to this place a tiny bit. I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Well that’s quite alright, you can come with us!” she says once more in a cheery tone, taking you by the arm and lacing her arm around yours, locked elbows. You smiled, knowing exactly where Marty’s cheerful and people-person nature had come from. Walking down the halls, she had asked for my schedule, checking classes to see what we had together, “English, History, and Agriculture- Hey! You should try out for cheer leading!” 

Shaking your head lightly, “Nah, I’m more of a Y/C/S myself to be frank.”

“But...We don’t have that sport here? There are no girls sports at all actually...” Lorraine says confused. You go to cover it up, choosing to say it was a sport you play for fun at home, in the backyard. However, a beefy arm separates you momentarily from her, as the owner of the harm moves to pin her to the lockers.

You were going to walk away, figuring it was some sort of make-out session in the works, but upon looking at her before going, you notice that the man was absurdly unwanted. 

“Get your meathooks off me Biff!” she screams at the man, his huge form towering her much smaller one. Not taking the message, the pair continue to squabble, neither of them being successful in winning. The warning bell sounds over the halls and classrooms, alarming kids to get their asses moving, but it seems whoever this dick is, he feels he is greater than the school, and god forbid, knowledge.

“Hey, you do realize your not making a damn bit a difference, right? She’s not interested! And, quite frankly, it seems as if no one does! Now, if you don’t mind, could you please be kind enough to unhand her as some of us treasure a piece of mind and how to take a hint?” you finish, quite ticked off as the last bell warns, cursing under your breath as you already know your in for detention on the first day.

It finally seems that he’d caught a grip, thankfully, letting go of Lorraine’s arm and she quickly scurries out of his proximity, taking your hand to lead you to the class you both needed to be in. As you go to walk in, you are stopped by the teacher, scolding both you and Lorraine. Looking at her regrettably, she smiles defeated. So you decide to do what’s right, take the fall.

“I’m sorry sir, I didn’t know where to go as I was trying to find where all of my classes were before I ended up lost every time classes switch. I caught up to Lorraine here at some point, and as she was hurrying to this class, she was kind enough to show me where I needed to be,” you finish, sighing guiltily.

“Well, as you’ve taken acknowledgment to your mistake, then you’d be just as happy with detention. After school, on Friday, as the first week is extremely busy. As for you, Miss Baines, thank you for your help. You are off the hook for now,” the older gentleman finishes, nodding to each of you personally before turning around and beginning just one of the classes you’d have today. This is going to be fun!

///LATER///

Finally, after grueling hours of just a few of your classes, lunchtime had came round, giving you a slight break. Catching sight of Lorraine, you smile and wave, going in the direction of Marty, or Calvin Klein, as you’d heard Lorraine go on and on about. You’d known it was him the second she’d said it, the brand not yet known to man yet; or at least in this timeline, it wasn’t.

As time had went on, it was only natural for the peace to be broken, as a newly familiar face was starting to appear more and more, Biff Tannen, as you’d known his name by now. But, instead of heading towards Lorraine, he makes his way over to the table you were residing with George and Marty, sitting himself right beside you. 

At first, you were trying to ignore him, knowing his presence was there, but keeping your eyes trained on either Marty or George, eyes dancing between the two. Biff, being the everlasting child he was, tried to catch you attention, trying stupid ass things after the other: kicking your shins, pulling your ears of hair, flicking your head, and even trying to tug on the 50′s style dress you’d been forced to wear to play your part. 

Only when he goes to tug your hair once more is when you finally snap, turning a furious glare to the hulking figure beside you, shoving his shoulder in a feeble attempt to create distance. He giggles at this, his body not moving an inch at all. “You can’t be serious right now! You don’t know when to quit it, do you?!” you scream, fed up with his shit.

“Well, if you’d give me the human decency of turning your head when I’m trying to talk to you, then I wouldn’t have to pester you, now would I?” he asks in a teasing tone, no doubt taunting you, but all you do is stare him down, getting lost in a staring contest, daring him to say something again. “Alls I wanted to say was that we have detention together. Just thought I’d let you know since you got me in all that trouble this morning.”  

“Why you-!” And with that, he gets up with a shit-eating grin plastered to his face, prancing out of view and back to the table he and his gang usually sit. Watching the whole interaction, George smirks at Marty, the pair giving an unspoken mutual agreement to whatever they had both caught on to, bursting into fits of laughter moments later. 

“You have a longer tolerance than I do, I-I-I’ll tell you that much,” George says, his usual slight stutter back in place, Marty laughing once more. As George joins in again, you couldn’t fight it either, giving into the childish antics.

///LATER///

To say your week had gotten any better than the first day was a lie. It hadn’t gotten any better, and your meetings with Biff at lunch had only gotten all the more common and all the more infuriating. He’d made it his duty to agitate you in any ways possible, even resulting in whispering something nagging in your ear when you weren’t paying attention, usually doing something in your locker.

Either way, he was on the countdown to Friday, it being constantly on his mind, mentally counting down the days, hours, minutes, and even seconds until the two of you were locked in a room alone.

Unfortunately, that day had seemed to come way faster than you’d like, Friday rolling around quite quickly. School had finished, and you were making your way to the front office, awaiting a tiring 2 hours with only yourself and Biff as company for the time being. You hadn’t known where the room was, and instead of spending time looking for it, you gave up and looked for the office instead, the nice front desk lady leading you where you needed to go.

Upon entering the room, there was Biff in his prime, casually spread across his chair, legs crossed atop his desk nearest the windows. Sighing, you ignore him, deciding to sit on the opposite side of him, the front desk lady giving you a sympathetic smile before she closes the door behind her. You look at the wall, head turned away from him like the plague.

You knew it’d only last so long until he’d speak, the time coming way faster than you pleased. Given it was Friday, you couldn’t even do homework or even study in order to block him out as he started to blabber, running his mouth over stupid shit once more. Inhaling through your nose, and exhaling through your mouth slowly, you straighten in your seat, hands clutching the desk so tight, your fists turned white. 

“Biff, Sweetheart, Baby, Doll Face, Hun. Please. PLEASE. Shut up for five god damn seconds. I know you truly have nothing to say, so why do you insist on speaking so much?” you finally say, hands prying off the desk to turn in his direction exasperated. 

“Well, if you’d just talk to me, Shortcake, I wouldn’t have much to say at random,” he answers, copying your actions and posture. With this change in childish demeanor, you give in, laughing at him in an unexpected rush, running your hands through your hair tiredly. 

Although you hadn’t seen it, he’d smiled in satisfaction upon seeing you laugh, the glitter in your eyes much more captivating than it ever was when he looked at Lorraine. He hadn’t barely pestered her since you’d barreled into his life. It was weird, but he welcomed it with open arms. And for the first time, he learned what it was like to have an actual, clammy-handed, closed throat, warm, cheek-tinted, teenage crush. A crush that left his heartbeat loud and fast, breathing ragged and uneven, and his behavior out of character and out of his control. Lorraine was way under whatever level he’d placed you on, holding you up on a pedestal like you were the sun or sky.

Of course, you hadn’t taken notice to his antics, just thinking he was annoying. Just Biff being his notorious self. But, as you finally calm your breathing down, the giggles fading, you decide to give him a chance, knowing that sitting in silence is just going bore you. Smiling warmly, you say, “So what do you want to talk about then?” 

///LATER///

Grabbing your bag, you get out of your seat, giggling at a story Biff had told you. He follows your lead as well, getting his own as he lets out a bark of laughter at a certain part. You guys looked like idiots as you shoved each other down the halls, making your way out of the school as your detention had came to a close. Sighing as the warm sun radiated on your skin with the light, spring breeze, you stretch out any kinks the classroom chairs and desks had left. Biff watched you intently, your small body easily swallowed by his shadow beside you.

The sun was setting and it was getting late, although you weren’t concerned. The boys knew you wouldn’t be home ‘til late due to the detention you had initially despised. Now, you and Biff were side by side, walking peacefully to his car in the school’s parking lot. For once, he was quiet, great company to have. It was something else for sure, but you enjoyed it. As you came up towards Doc’s place, you’d realized that Biff had drove you home like a gentleman, too lost in the conversation to notice earlier on. 

Sheepishly, you itch the back of your neck, realizing your mistake and feeling guilty for making him walk all this way to now have to walk all the way home. “Ah- Sorry...I didn’t realize I’d dragged you all the way out here. Now you have to drive all the way back.”

“It’s no problem, really. I liked it. It’s nice to talk to someone other than the guys every now and then. And to have A female speak to me instead of screaming,” he answers, now being the one who is a bit shy.

“You do know that you bring that on yourself right?” you say teasingly, now leaning your head on your hands, propped up on the passenger side door. “Not every girl would want to kick you in the groin if you showed a little more respect, “ you finish off with a smile.

“Yeah...Yeah I know. I’ll try harder, I swear.”

“That’s all I ask,” you say with a wink, drumming your hands on the door as you take a step back, waving as you start walking down Doc’s driveway.

“Hey!” Biff calls from the car, stopping you in your tracks to turn around, facing him with a smile. “Uhm- Well- The Enchantment Under the Sea Dance is coming up next week...Would you mind being my date?” he asks, stuttering as he feels his cheeks heat up, nervous as hell.

“I’d love to!” you answer, turning back around to walk into the house. Biff does a little fist bump as he puts the car back in gear, excited for what is to come.

///

Marty was a little less than amused with this newfound knowledge once entering the door and going over the events of the day. It was only when Doc had suggested that the date with Biff would keep him away from Lorraine, giving George the freeway to attract her long enough for their True Love’s Kiss. Then, and only then, did Marty give the okay, shaking his head, but liking the fact that it’ll give George some time, being the nerd that you know and love.

///Enchantment Under the Sea Dance///

Checking yourself over in the mirror for the final time, you let out a nervous yet satisfied sigh, feeling like an absolute princess. You never minded dresses too much, although you couldn’t deny the fact that normal pair of shorts, jeans, or even leggings were your first choice. All that mattered was that you liked the dress you were wearing, it fit you; it was your favorite color, length, and strap(less) type to hold everything in.

Walking out, you grab the pair of heels to match, knowing that you couldn’t get away with sneakers in this generation, painfully grimacing at the reminder. Finally standing, you recount when you had gotten the dress just a few days ago, having gone with Lorraine and the her two friends, Babs and Betty. They were very endearing and supportive the whole time, you not having to worry about being “to picky” as they were just the same. You ended up loving the dress given that you’d taken the time without pressure.

As you walked into the main room of the garage, you heard a low whistle of Marty, Doc slapping him on the back of the head for it. Giggling, you curtsy and spin in the dress. Doc, the gentleman he always was, compliments you, “You look amazing, my dear. Let’s hope this boy deserves it, hmm?” 

As an answer, you hug him tightly, knowing that, by the end of the night, he will be nothing but a dead man at home, in a lonely, dark parking lot. Your eyes tear up just at the mere thought of it, clutching him tighter. Marty seems to be on the same wavelength, going to interrupt the moment with great urgency, trying to pass him a piece of paper.

“Marty, if this has anything that involves my future, do not. And I repeat, DO NOT try to hand it to me. Whatever happens, happens young man. That’s how the world works,” he says in a warning tone. You wanted to disagree, but you knew the truth that was laced beneath it, as if it was a punishment. You whimper instead, pulling him in tighter; Marty looking down in defeat, soon switching to anger. In the midst of it, he storms out of the garage, getting in the car to go pick up who you’d hope was Lorraine for the dance.

“Just let him go...” you start, sadness evident, “He’s just not very happy with the outcome of what the future has in store for you. Quite frankly, neither am I.”

“I’m sure whatever the outcome is, that I wanted to go with it, dear. I assure you, I’m fine,” Doc answers in a consoling tone, wiping the tears that had slipped from your eyes. You knew it was just a mask, no one wants death, but you knew he needed to go no matter how much you hated it. So you nod, not having to say much more as a honk sounds from outside.

“That’s Biff...” 

“Have a great time! Make sure the McFlys kiss!” Doc screams, following out of the garage, scolding Biff from behind you.

“Yes sir!” you scream back, saluting him as you take a seat in the passenger.

///

“You look beautiful Y/N,” Biff says after a while, finally working up the courage to speak.

“Thank you Biff. And you look handsome yourself,” you giggle, the car pulling into the lot. 

He shuts the engine, grabbing his keys from the ignition and closing the door, making his way around to you as you let yourself out to straighten yourself out. He takes your hand as he leads you to the entrance of the dance, you sighing in relief as you catch a glimpse of Marty pulling up in a car with Lorraine. Finally, you relax, grasping on Biff a little lighter and with more meaning now as you have the night to yourselves. He smiles down at you as you wrap your arm within his, something Lorraine does with you quite often.

With the party in full blast, you let loose with the music, dancing and joking around with Biff. At some point, however, he says he needs a drink and will be right back. Although, he doesn’t seem to actually come back. You’d thought you’d seen him spiking the punch just as few moments ago.

Just as you were going to in the direction of the hallways to the rest of the school, you notice Match, one of Biff’s friends, storming out of the gym through an exit. Taking your bets, you follow behind him, soon being greeted by a huge commotion of screams, all of them from familiar people. Biff was in a car with Lorraine, her dress pulled and taken off in parts. He was no doubt about to do something stupid, the fact pissing you off, saddening you in some ways as well.

The others that were screaming were also George and Marty, the pair trying to get Biff to stop before he regrets it. He doesn’t listen, unfortunately, until your voice booms over the rest, “Biff!” 

His head snaps instantly in your direction, the situation dawning on him the instant he looks at your face. You hadn’t meant to portray your emotions so clearly, but your face had shown such distraught and hurt. He lied. He had gotten over Lorraine, yet the moment she was alone, he runs right back to her.

With his momentary change of focus, George finally steps in, “You get your filthy hands off of her!” finishing with a blow to the jaw that knocks Biff off balance. 

Marty looks to you sadly, but tries to smile in cheers as George and Lorraine leave together, motioning that he was going to follow them just in case. You nod, looking down now as your play with your fingers. You didn’t know what to do now as the only reason you were really here was for Biff. You weren’t needed for Lorraine and George, you knew Marty had it.

You decide to make your way home then, as there was nothing else you could do. Dances were just drags anyway, nothing worth while. “Your just going to leave? Just like that?” asks a deep voice, his body having gotten back off the pavement and stood by the car he was pinned against.

Without turning, you answer his question with another, “Why not? There’s nothing left here for me is there?”

“And why wouldn’t there be?” Biff asks once more, no doubt ticking you off at his usual teasing tone.

“Well, let’s see. You. You asked me to the dance as your plus one. I came here as your date. We have a good time, we dance, we talk, and then you come up with an ‘Oh I need a drink’ charade, not returning. Then, I come to find my date in the parking lot, about to get his licks in on a woman he was apparently over with! So tell me, what is left here for men here, Biff?” you finish, tears pooling your eyes over the time, although you don’t let the fall, keeping them there.

He looks guilty, you can see it, but you don’t care. Your not in the wrong this time. But, as your blood starts to cool down, you do notice the look in his eyes, the change in his demeanor, and the utter remorse that has overcome him. He has his head down, fists clenched at his sides, body stock still. He doesn’t know what to do, all he knows is that he’d fucked up.

“Or was this your fabulous way of telling me that you love me?” you finally ask, eyes moving to look up at him in a teasing manner.

He hadn’t expected you to speak, head snapping up to meet your gaze in confusion. Being as you’d looked at him with a glint in your eyes, he finally lets everything click together; you’d forgiven him. His face heats up in bashfulness however, as your words resonated within him as well, hand going to itch the back of his neck again.

You giggle, walking up to him now, hands going to his collar. Pulling him down, he gazes at you in amazement, his own hands falling to rest on your waist. Then, you crash your lips to his, pulling him ever closer. It takes him a moment to get the hang of it, soon pulling you closer to himself as well. Lifting you slightly, he sets you on the hood of his car, the height difference a definite stretch for him. But he wouldn’t have it any other way, you were perfect. Just the same as he was perfect for you.

[horsesandhockeyplayers]

Fourth Line Grinder-- Part 10

Author’s Note:  This beautiful header is courtesy of @whatishockey​ and her brilliant creative mind. We continue with ALL NEW content as EJ and Nell figure out their relationship. Please see the masterlist post to see the 2018 Eddie Read Stakes.

TW: Nell being stupid

Word Count: 5082

Word Count TOTAL: 60,332

Song: Dark Horse - Aaron Watson

Synopsis:  Nell Sayer, often called The Witch for her ability to heal horses that are deemed lost causes, is content with her life. With a job where she makes a good living and her two best friends, Nell is unprepared for the changes a meeting with a once-in-a-lifetime horse and his incorrigible owner brings, knocking her off her feet…literally. If only she were as good at listening to her heart as she is at listening to the animals she loves.

Tag List: @laurenairay, @danglesnipecelly, @hockeylvr59, @whatishockey, @thebookofmags, @princessphilly, @glassdanse, @tippedbykreider, @iangiemae, @kotkaniemi-caufield-mom, @marcoscandellas, @mac-blackwood, @fanficrecsby-e

Part 10

Like many days when my alarms went off in the morning, I was laying on my stomach and there was a heavy weight sprawled across my back. We had been staying in a one bedroom suite at the Le Méridien, because Erik wouldn’t hear about staying at a motel, and our room overlooked the track (I didn’t think that was accidental).

The lights of Arcadia gave the room a muted glow and there was a deep grumble against my shoulder blade as a long arm reached over to the night stand to silence all the alarms. “Peaches, you have literally never overslept since I’ve started sleeping in your bed, why do you have 40 alarms?”

I sighed, the bed was so comfortable and I was so warm being pressed into the memory foam by the 240lb defenseman. “Just in case.”

Long strong arms slipped between me and the mattress of the gods, taking me with him as he rolled over and I was laying completely on top of him. “Five more minutes,” he grumbled into my hair.

Five more minutes turned into 30 and 3 orgasms for me and as EJ hopped up and made his way into the bathroom, suddenly full of pep, I was pretty sure I was going to melt into the bed because I didn’t have bones anymore.

When I accused EJ of being a La-Z-Boy horse owner I didn’t realize how correct I was.

“Erik, you own or partially own like 70 horses. How do you not know how to put a halter on?” I had unwrapped Grinder’s legs when we arrived at the track and after a short walk for him to stretch his legs, I was squatting by his legs rewrapping the standing wraps for the 2 hour trailer ride south.

“Most trainers prefer it if you aren’t hands on.” He was watching me wrap the horse like I was going to ask him to do it, but he was going to have to practice on one of the outrider horses for a while before I let him get near his winning racehorse.

“You have a 200 acre horse farm in escrow. How do you expect to run the place?” I finished the leg I was working on and moved to the next one.

“Hire people duh.” His voice was distracted as he was trying to put a halter on the very patient mare stabled next to Grinder.

“And what if everyone gets sick and you have to feed or clean or something?” I was mostly giving him a hard time but if you lived on an equestrian facility there would always be instances where you needed to handle horses.

“Make sure I don’t piss you off so you’re there to help.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed.

Dawn was just starting to chase the night away as I pulled onto the 210 to make our way across Southern California before the world woke up. EJ had called it and the trailer had two of Dick’s other horses on it and one of Doug’s. The rest would be shipped down a few days later and as I sipped bad gas station coffee I was relatively proud of the fact I had only yelled at Erik once.

***

The stress that plagued Dick’s barn at Santa Anita had melted and everyone was relaxed and joyful at Del Mar. I loved hacking Grinder bareback around the track in the evening hours as the cool breeze off the Pacific cooled the coastal town. I had even ridden him to the beach. Seeing a racehorse parade through town might be considered commonplace in Europe but it wasn’t in California.

Dick had pitched a fit but I had gone on a long rant about the healing properties of cold salt water and eventually his eyes glazed over and he just waved his hands and walked away.

Erik had gone off on some golf trip with friends and it had been a point of contention for several days.

“You could come, you know.” He tossed some shorts in his suitcase. I’m not sure why he insisted on packing this way, he tossed things haphazardly into his bag and then took everything out again and refolded it with precision.

“But Grinder and work….”

He gave me a dry look, “Carlos will take excellent care of Grinder and Mikey is at Del Mar for the next week, I bet he’d even ride the horse on the beach for you.”

“It’s just a lot of money.” I chewed a cuticle. My bank accounts had never been so padded. I probably could have gone on 5 vacations without worrying about money.

I got another withering look, “You know you never have to pay for anything right?”

I returned it, “You know I’m always going to want to pay my way.”

He set to folding all his clothes, “And I know you have enough money to go on this trip with me, you’re just making excuses, but Nell, you can sit on a beach with a Mai Tai and not feel guilty. You know that right?”

“I know. It’s not that.” I lied.

Erik rolled his eyes, “Yeah sure it isn’t. Go to fucking therapy, Jesus.”

I recoiled at his uncharacteristically harsh words, “What the fuck?”

“I want a partner in life, Nell. That means sharing the things I do, including traveling.” He zipped the suitcase closed and set it by the bedroom door with more force than necessary.

“Newsflash Erik, when you have a FARM you can’t just pack up and leave whenever.” I was pissed now.

“Actually, hiring competent people means I can do *exactly* that because for eight months out of the year I will be travelling most of the time. And no one is sick, no one is about to foal, the horses are literally fine, Nell and Grinder’s next race isn’t for another two weeks.”

“Exactly! I need to be here!”

“No. You don’t. You’re choosing to be here instead of going with me.” He pulled the phone out of his pocket, “My car is here. I’ll call you later.”

“Don’t bother.” My words echoed against the beachy tile of his condo, and he sucked on his bottom lip for a moment as if he was thinking of a retort but instead he just shook his head and headed out the front door, slamming it behind him.

True to his word, Erik had called. And called. And called. It has been 3 days and I had sent every one to voicemail.

He left another message and I deleted it without listening to it. His condo felt empty without him and I thought about packing up my things and going to a long term motel, but somehow I knew that would be the final nail in the coffin. Things had once again gotten complicated and I didn’t know how to escape them. It had only been a few months but our lives were so entangled. There wasn’t an exit where we didn’t see each other because not seeing Grinder wasn’t an option for me. I loved that horse.

The french doors onto the veranda were open and the afternoon breeze was gently blowing through the open floor plan condo. The papers I had spread all over the top of the island rustled. It was one of my mandatory days off and other than hacking Grinder in the evening, I wasn’t allowed in the barn so I was rebelling by doing paperwork which included itemizing my expenses, scanning the receipts, and then mailing the hard copies to my accountant. I was now someone who needed an accountant.

The papers had been spread on the island for several hours and my attention kept drifting to the waves cresting, crashing into the beach, withdrawing, and starting the whole process over again. Why did relationships have to be this hard? Were they supposed to be this difficult or was it just a sign that Erik and I weren’t meant to be?

Finally, I gave up and grabbed a White Claw from the fridge and plopped into a teak chair with plush cushions and threw my feet on to the matching ottoman.

It seemed criminal that I was in such a beautiful place and so conflicted. A male voice speaking Spanish came through the door, though yelling was a more accurate description. I didn’t know why Latino men needed to yell at each other on the phone but they did. Jesus was honestly the only quiet one and I suspected that was a defense mechanism.

I heard him grab a Corona from the fridge and shouted his goodbyes and hung up as he settled into the plush lounger next to mine. He was uncharacteristically quiet for a long time as he stared at the ocean.

When he finally spoke it made me jump, “What the fuck, Hermanita?”

Carlos had never spoken to me that way “Excuse you?”

“The gringo says you’re not talking to him and you refused to go on vacation with him.” He took a swig of his Corona and leveled a glare over the rim of the bottle.

I sniffed and faced the ocean, taking a sip of my drink from the tall can before answering, “I fail to see how that is any of your business.”

“He’s paying for my immigration lawyer and he’s done a lot for you and us, I don’t think you’re being fair.

“Is that all you care about? That I keep fucking him so you can become a citizen?” I turned facing him feeling a chill thrum through my body.

“Dios mio, you DO need therapy.” I tried to interrupt him but he held up his hand. “Your papa, he was it for Mama Sayer. When he passed there was a hole in both your lives that Jesus and I could never fill even if we tried. For you that person is the Gringo and anyone with EYES can see it. So pull your head out of your ass.”

I gaped at him like a goldfish, “I can’t just leave for wherever whenever he wants to.”

He gave me an exhausted look, "If you think that's what he's asking eres mas estúpida de lo que pensé"

There was a hum of energy in my ears, “I think I’m going to invite you to leave now.”

“Think about this, have you put both teeth into this relationship,” He asked standing from the lounger.

“It’s both FEET.” I replied, more than a little happy to correct him.

He rolled his eyes, “Whatever. Have you really been in this relationship or have you been looking for a way out since the beginning? What do the white girls say? ‘Daddy Issues’,” he made quotes around the term and I wrinkled my nose. “Get help Nell or you’ll drive away more than just the Gringo.”

When he left the sun was starting to hover over the ocean.

What I hated most, was Carlos was absolutely right.

I picked up my phone and unlocked it, bringing up Erik’s contact. I stared at it for a long time before I finally settled for calling my mom.

“Nelly Belly! I thought you were too busy to talk to me.”

I rolled my eyes, “No, Mom.”

She was rustling around in the kitchen, “Does this phone call have anything to do with the fact that you’re not talking to Erik?”

“Who told you,” I huffed.

“Carlos and then Jesus,” She sounded distracted and then I heard a distinctly male voice.

“Nance, should I open the wine?”

My mouth dropped open, “Mom are you on a date?”

“Yes.”

I couldn’t tell if she was answering the mystery man or me, so I stayed silent. She covered the phone and I heard her muffled voice, “Tom, go ahead and open that white in the fridge, it will pair nicely with the salmon. I’m going to talk to my daughter for a moment.” Her voice came across the 475 miles clear as day then, “Now Nell, what happened?”

Launching into the saga, I barely stopped to take a breath. The sky was fading to purple when I was done.

“Nell, do you remember Dr. Pam?”

“Vaguely, why?”

“She was the therapist you saw after your dad passed.”

A bank of fog was rolling in off the ocean and it was one of the reasons the California coast stayed so temperate, “I saw a therapist after Dad died?”

“Yes, Nelly Belly. You were 8 and your dad died tragically and unexpectedly. Of course I took you to see a therapist. I saw her too for a time.”

My drink was long empty and I swirled the last dregs of the vodka soda around in the can, “Do you think I need to see a therapist now?”

“I think you need to think about what you want in your life and if that is just to work 24/7 with no life then ok. But if you want more, which I think you do, then you need to figure out why you’re pushing EJ away. If he’s not the one for you, fine, but I don’t think you’ll find anyone else half as interesting that will be completely loyal and let you be as independent as you are.” The oven timer went off in the background, “Nell, I have to go, but think about what you want ok?”

I sighed, “Ok. Have a good date with Tom.”

Her smile was audible, “I will honey. Call EJ ok?”

“Ok.”

When the line went dead my phone alerted me to a low battery and I had a reprieve from calling Erik for a bit anyway especially considering he was probably asleep, the waves from a different ocean crashing outside his hotel room.

The air turned chilly as the fog rolled inland and I stood from the lounger and headed inside, closing the large french doors behind me.

Grabbing another White Claw and my laptop, I spent the remainder of the evening researching therapists and online therapy services.

It was well after midnight when I finally made my way to bed and for once I was grateful that I had another day off.

Alone and in the dark, the sound of the waves crashing into the beach floating in through the open window, I unlocked my phone and opened my photos app. Finally, I landed on a photo of Grinder’s win, Erik was kissing me while everyone was still screaming. I had my hand fisted into Grinder’s mane, the other gripping Erik’s arm as he kissed the bejesus out of me. If I concentrated and closed my eyes I could feel his lips against mine.

Before I set my phone on the nightstand, I sent a quick text.

I’m sorry.

*******

Standing on a stool I was attempting to manipulate the gluteal fascia of a very patient, very tall mare when EJ appeared in the door of the stall.

We hadn’t spoken since I sent that text and everything just felt so awkward now.

Erik cleared his throat, “So what’s the story on this one?”

“Five year old, decent allowance mare. Couple hundred thousand in earnings,” I offered with a shrug.

He gave me a thoughtful look, “would she be a good broodmare?”

I blinked, “She’s out of a Thunder Gulch mare by a Giant’s Causeway stud. Nothing to write home about but she would be a good foundation probably.”

He grunted and made some notes on his phone. When he was done he looked up, “Italian or Sushi tonight?”

I hummed in thought, “Italian.”

“I’ll make reservations.”

Just like that the fight seemed to be over and I knew Erik was giving me a freebie. I hadn’t really given him anything but grief since we started dating and well, I felt like shit about it.

A week before the race Dick forbade me to ride Grinder to the beach, so I brought the cold seawater to him. In buckets, in the back of my truck and I soaked his legs. Del Mar really agreed with the big gelding, his coat glowed, he had filled out and developed spectacular muscle and no one would ever guess Erik had picked him up for a few thousand dollars less than 6 months ago. He looked like a champion.

Mikey had taken over riding him full time for his works and I hacked or ponied him in the afternoon.

Erik never brought up our fight during his golf trip again and I had done some research and started an online therapy program. I had video or phone chats with my therapist a few times a week and we had brief texting mini sessions whenever I needed to.

I had just finished one of those mini texting sessions when I put down my phone on the nightstand. Erik was reading the Daily Racing Forum and making notes with a pen.

His glasses were sliding down his nose and I had the irresistible urge to push them up the bridge. Feeling my eyes on him, his gaze lifted and met mine, “Why are you staring, Peaches?”

I lifted my shoulders and let them fall in an exaggerated shrug. The french doors out to the private master suite veranda were open and the sound of the waves crashing into the coast filled the stretched silence.

His phone vibrated on the nightstand and he picked it up, a smile stretching across his face as he read an email. He finally pushed his glasses up his nose with a forefinger and looked incredibly dorky doing so, I couldn’t help but match his smile, “What has you so happy, Handsome?”

“We got the property.”

Putting the racing forum next to his phone, he took off his glasses and set them on top of the pile and pulled me closer to him. “We are now the owners of a horse farm.”

I snuggled into his big body. “I thought they didn’t accept your offer?”

He kissed the top of my head and then picked a hair out of his mouth, “They didn’t because the property had been on the market so long they had leased it. Since we weren’t in a hurry to move in, my realtor worked out a deal where we allow the lease for 6 more months and the details took a while to iron out but I’m going to Denver next week to sign all the papers, will you come with me? You have some things to sign too.”

Stiffening in his arms I looked at my cuticles, “Erik..”

“Nell…” he answered with a sigh.

“You refused to let me put any money into this, so I’m not signing anything.” I picked at a hangnail.

Large hands slid up my arms and one slid into my hair and gripped it in his fist. He pulled my head back, so I would look at him, “Stop being stubborn, Nell.”

I sighed and gave him a hard glare, “I’m not going to co-own an asset I had no hand in purchasing.”

His eyes were tired, “Fine, whatever, I don’t want to fight anymore and everything seems like a fight.”

Fuck. He was right. Pushing the covers down I clambered into his lap, straddling him, “Ok. I hear you. I propose a compromise.”

“I’m listening,” his eyes were wary.

“IF we get married, I will allow you to put me on the deed.”

He rolled his eyes, “Fine, what are you doing on Saturday? I think I can throw some money around and get a judge in the courthouse.”

My fist met the solid rock that was his shoulder and I shook it out, “Ow, I’m not marrying you on Saturday you dork and you know it’s Grinder’s race day.”

“Ok fine, I can be patient, I guess,” he said with his toothless wonder grin.

“Patient!” my protest was halted by his lips. I moaned and melted against him as his tongue swept inside my mouth.

I had taken to sleeping in one of Erik’s tshirts and some simple cotton panties. He broke the kiss long enough to pull the shirt over my head and then his mouth and hands were on me again. He weighed my breasts in his hands as he kissed me and I felt him grow hard beneath me.

Deft fingers rolled my nipples between them and I arched into his hands grinding my hips on him until I felt the head of his cock rub my clit the layers of fabric causing friction.

Moaning into his mouth I changed the angle of my hips trying to rub right THERE.

“Peaches, are you trying to get yourself off,” he asked, breaking the kiss.

I nodded, feeling the euphoria build in my body.

Before I could take a breath my panties were off and he was naked and lowering me onto his erection. Letting me drop, the stretch was just this side of pleasure and I rolled my hips with a small mewling noise. His hips punched up like he was trying to crawl inside my body. He relaxed back against the headboard, “Now get yourself off.”

The delicious friction of the cotton was gone but now I was being stretched and it was an equally scrumptious sensation. I took each of his hands and placed them on my breasts as I rode him. A gasp escaped me as he pinched both nipples and I bucked on his cock. My voice was breathy, “Fuck, EJ.”

He kept the grip on my nipples, forcing the blood from the tips before rolling them again. I bucked again and I could feel the orgasm building. While I kept the pace and he abused my tits, my fingers slid between our bodies to rub my clit.

Erik’s hips started rising to meet mine, “Are you almost there, Peaches?”

I couldn’t do anything except moan as he released my nipples, the blood rushing back into them, as he grabbed my hips and fucked me hard. I came with an emotional cry and I felt him twitch inside me. Large hands held me tight against him, his hips still punching anemically as he came.

Collapsing on his chest I felt the ripples of pleasure hit my body every few seconds like aftershocks and when he finally relaxed, his fingers trailed up and down my spine.

“I love you, you know,” I mumbled against his chest.

One hand brushed the hair away from my face and I felt his lips on my forehead, “I know, Peaches.”

I fell asleep, pressed against his naked body, his semi hard cock holding his cum inside me and I felt any anxiety about our relationship flow out of my body and into the coastal night.

****

On Saturday the sun could barely break through the fog layer of June Gloom. The fog lifted, but it was still overcast when Grinder’s race was called to post.

Unlike his race at Santa Anita, everyone was jovial. I had seen several of his opponents work and I was confident that if Grinder had a clear run, he was going to put the field away with ease.

I had on a simple jersey dress and had dressed it up with some turquoise jewelry The Guys had given me over the years.

With my newfound confidence in Grinder, I was in the owner’s Box with Erik and he hadn’t taken his hand off the small of my back since I joined him.

I wasn’t sure if it was to reassure him or me and eventually I conceded it was a mixture of both.

Grinder had drawn the outside post position and that was perfectly fine with everyone. Mikey had one job and that was simply to keep the big gelding out of traffic and let him run his race.

Without all the pain, Grinder was once again focused on racing and the horse *loved* to run. Workouts had become a challenge because he wanted to race every horse on the track. He was in desperate need of adequate competition or he was going to get bored. Bad things happened when smart athletic horses got bored.

Gripping the box partition, I felt the first flutters of butterflies start in my stomach as I watched Mikey and Grinder make their way to the turf. The statuesque black gelding made the rest of the horses look like Shetland Ponies. At one point he stopped and trumpeted toward the stands as if to say “Hey Losers, watch this.”

The warm up was unremarkable and all the horses loaded into the gate without any problems. The race was as predictable as possible. Grinder broke slow and was several lengths off the pace, trailing the pack into the first turn. He sat there eating the turf with a relaxed, almost lazy stride. Mikey had slack in the reins and the big horse was just biding his time. Halfway down the backstretch he began to close the gap and as the field headed into the far turn he hit another gear and started to pass horses on the outside. The field was good, there were quality horses who were no stranger to the graded stakes races, several had made Breeder’s Cup appearances before and they were trying to qualify again.

I knew I was going to have red imprints around my eyes from the binoculars as I pressed them to my face, like the pressure was going to help me see better. The crowd started to roar at the top of the turn. I could see the minute Grinder decided he was in it to win it. He leapt forward at the top of the stretch, almost leaving Mikey behind and started passing horses like they were standing still. 50 yards from the finish he was alone in front of the front runners and as he flashed under the wire he was still pulling away from his competition.

The description of his win in the next Daily Racing Forum would be “handily.” Even moving up in class, they were no match for him. He had the renowned Pacific Classic next to qualify for the Breeder’s Cup Classic.

The big black horse was barely sweating as Mikey trotted him back to the winner’s circle. EJ pried the binoculars away from my face and put them around his neck, wrapping his hand around mine, “That horse just quadrupled my investment.”

I paused, “What?”

He pulled me out of the box and started making his way to the ground level, “I paid what… $3000 for him? Plus transport costs, training, and you. This win pushed him over the $200,000 mark since I’ve owned him. I’m almost sad he’s not a stallion now. Think of what a foundation sire he’d make for us.”

My mind was swirling trying to picture that much money and I tripped over a discarded tall can. Erik caught me and I tried to pull my hand from his, “Is all you care about the money?”

He gave me a defeated sigh, “Seriously, Nell? Why is everything a fight with you? Of course it’s not about the money, he was a huge investment risk, but I told you from the beginning if he wouldn’t make it on the track I wanted to get him healthy enough for whatever came next.”

It was true, he had said that and I was once again just creating drama, “I’m sorry. I know. I’m just… I don’t know. Too emotional right now.”

Strong thick fingers wove their way through mine and he pulled me into his big body, his voice low, “Half the time I feel like the stereotypical city girl who moved to the country and you’re the wild filly I find trapped in a fence or something.”

“Yeah, I guess I kinda am,” I said, swallowing a smile.

He brought my fingers to his lips, “C’mon, let’s go take a picture with our champion.”

I stood in the winner’s circle for the second time in my life and wrapped my arms around Grinder’s head. He huffed and stood quietly as I pressed my forehead to his, “You did it you brilliant boy.”

It was a little weird not having Jesus there, but Carlos was excited enough for the both of them and I figured I’d just photoshop him into the photo at some point.

Erik had to pry me off of the horse to take the photos and as we posed in front of him, Mikey set his elbow on top of Erik’s head, “Does it ever bother you that she loves this horse more than you?”

The larger man let out a surprised laugh, “No, she wouldn’t be my Peaches if she loved anything more than that horse.”

Carlos muttered in Spanish under his breath and rolled his eyes before waving the jockey off the horse and started taking his saddle off to walk him back to the barns.

The sun was setting over the Pacific Ocean and I was slumped in a camping chair I had set up in Grinder’s stall, nodding off every few minutes.

I felt EJ’s presence before I heard his footsteps over the sound of horses chewing their hay.

The cool evening air was leaving goosebumps on my exposed legs and I regretted not changing back into my jeans.

His hand rested on my head as he knelt down, “You’re cold, let’s go home.”

I sighed, opening my eyes, “I think when we remodel the house we should have a stall in the living room.”

EJ chuckled into my ear as he picked me up. I protested, but weakly, “I can walk.”

His arms tightened around my body, “You never let me manhandle you.”

Grinder took that opportunity to pick up the chair I was sitting in and toss it out of his stall, narrowly missing us.

I reached over and closed the stall dore, sliding the bolt into place and putting a clip on it, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You manhandle me all the time.”

I felt the rumble in his chest rather than heard it, “Well, I like manhandling you. What are you gonna do about it?”

Sliding one of my arms around his shoulders, I ran my fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck, “Right now, nothing,” I sighed.

Smug satisfaction radiated through his body, “Good cause I’m gonna manhandle you some more when we get home.”

I offered a shiver of anticipation.

*******