#stupid fuvking old man

[gabrielora]

Head cannon for Simon Petrikov: he just eats garbanzo beans constantly. He drinks them out of the can, he eats uncooked cans of tuna without a fork. He slathers mustard on it and licks it clean.

[iamineskew]

NUH UH. i parkour battle you into stupid meat chunks

yk. for a guy named *sea*watt i dont see enough art of him with like. fish. bits. yk? like fins and shit. fish bits. make that man a fish.

[draconicapologies]

For the past day or two I've been in this weird limbo of constantly jumping around stories of mine and such And the only thing I keep landing on is TEQ but it's largely in such a vague capacity it's not really working on it and it's - annoying.

Even more so because though I love it incredibly and have stupid amounts of time and effort into it I know I'm not likely to ever really do anything with it.

It'll just sit in my head and my notes my heart and be this dumb, useless fucking, saga about a stupid time travelling horse who's based on jack harkness but so clearly not and lives in a so heavily headcanoned version of Equestria it's dumb and just I've just so much effort into this thing and I love it and it's characters all so much and honestly feel so disgusting attached to these characters I've thrown through hell and humanised so much. And just, I'm not even done. There's so much still to work on and it's been like fucking years.

And the kicker is it's all, in honest to true fuck, worthless because Jesus Christ it's about candy coloured horses who time travel and fight aliens and deal with shit like depression and horrific violence and shit like whos the fucking audience here. Nobody because it's dumb bullshit that's markedly not for children but making them not ponies is a not option because it's a big part of a lot of it and how I view it and just.

I love Torchwood Equestria with all my heart.

I love Orion - my dumb, dramatic, childish, emotional, hero wanna be who loves too hard and quips so often to hide his own fucking depression.

I love Lucid and their goddamn, mysterious ass past which I don't even fully know yet beyond lots of horrible fucking shit happened to them yet they're still this joke cracking innuendo machine with the self confidence of a god, sometimes.

I love Study and his detached, subtle emotions because processing shit like that is hard when you've been emotionally stunted as fuck as a child because of your shitty and racist parents. With his small smiles and blunt sarcasm.

I love Tinder and her goddamn painfully relate mess of a person she is and her awful teen life choices which 100% fucked her over beyond just being cringy.

I love Crystal and the fucking double edged blanket she wraps herself in by claiming herself and awful, selfish butch and her distance and fear of letting down the polished facade she's built up.

I love Robbie and Tater with their adorable sweetness and utter fuck you to toxic masculinity.

I love Dutch with her fucking, mysterious but definitely not good past which led her to be such a desperately clingy to the point of helping commit fucking murders. And her adorable facade and insane friendship with a Blues and then Violet.

I love Violet and her old lady badassness who continues on even after her husbands death destroys her. Even after she finds out he never fuvking told her about Dutch's past because he didn't trust her.

I love the still fucking unnamed doctor who works at Orion's original base. Anger issues by the bucketload and depression and self-loathe by the trucktons which makes a cynical, angry mess who tends to lash out and thinks he's selfish as fuck and cares for no-one only to always give them all he has.

I love Tally and her gentle loneliness and utter dorkiness. Her blatant love of numbers and incredible core strength that sees her literally be willing to blow herself the fuck up to save everyone - even when offered an out.

I love Cookie and her ability to carry on despite her anxiety and despite her shitty as fuck abusive ex-husband hurting her so badly. Her tearing apart her own wings in anxious fits because she needs to be punished and knows it stupid but can't fucking help it sometimes because something's never leave easily.

I love Nimbus and her stupid fear of commitment and complicated relationship with her son who she gave up to be adopted because she had no idea how to look after him. Her badly chosen night with Storm and the fact it doesn't even get the chance to go down in real flame because they both get killed before they can even talk it out.

I love Cavalier and Bastion and their tentative and ridiculous relationship. I love Ma'am and her stupid fucking, never looks or acts the same shtick and knowing literally nothing about her other than she's singlehandedly the biggest badass and knows everything.

I love Quiver and Gardina and Steam and the fuvking stupid as shit mess that's their adorable polyship where both the grumpy dragon and sexy archer fall head over heels for this daft, hippie zebra.

I love young Night Blitz and his fucking deviously clever mind and his tragic fucking death which ends up putting Orion on the path of a solider in his stead - filling what he never got to be.

I love the bases and the stupid jokes and emotional moments between friends and the guy-wrenching fuck ups that all these stupid fucking horses are And I know that ultimately it's pretty much fucking useless as shit because it's so hard to do something with and who's ever going to be fucking interested.

And I feel like I'd gets tons of flack over its existence because mlp is for kids - no matter how I label it and no matter that the horrifically gore and shit filled masterpiece of Fallout; Equestria exists. I don't want to be having a half crisis over this because I love this dumb piece of shit with all my heart and it honestly makes me so happy so often because these guys are my fucking kids and I've literally cried over them I adore them and yet it fucking upsets me to know that at the end of the day this shit is pretty much pointless.

I spend so much time and effort and care. And 900% of it is still just in my head and so mired in having known it for years that explaining it can be so fucking difficult and those I try to explain it to never seem that interested and I mean It's fucking, oddly dark and serious yet also stupid and goofy candy coloured magical horses who fight aliens and deal with lots of emotional trauma I mean. It's stupid as fucking shit. Stupid as motherfucking goddamn shit. But I love it so hard.

And feel like I can't explain parts because of the subject matters and then that in itself makes it sound sillier and shallower and stupider that I'm so attached to it.

Maybe it's because it's late at night that I'm having a crisis over this. Or maybe it's latent anxiety from exams and not having any focus to study in the slightest. I don't know. I just know I'm upset and feel like I'm deeply wasting my time on something stupid but I love it so much I honestly can't ever leave it or the characters behind.

Like there's so much to explain and there's so much to it and the characters but I feel like I can never make them sound half decent and as complex as I know them as, and.

God I'm gunna shut up now. This is stupidly fucking long. And about stupid fucking horses who fight aliens. Jesus fuck man.

[radishesx]

March 23, 2016🔵🔵 It’s been a while since I wrote here. It’s been a hard couple of weeks. I cry every second period because God you are just so beautiful.. And I lost you.. I told you I would wait for you and that you are my soul mate and that I love you. But you told me that I’m wasting my time. That our time is over. I just cry a lot because how could you let go of me that fast. How could you go out and have sex with some random guy.. How did you move on so fast.. Yeah we ended a while ago.. I thought we would still be together one day.. And maybe not till we were 18 but I thought you would always love me.. But you told me you didn’t.. See, I know that these letters will be gradual.. The ones now will be sobby. And then more anger. And then notbing at all. Maybe I’ll write about my day.. Or about how I smelled a scent and it reminded me of you. And then after a while.. It will be months inbetween when I write to you. Because I will have moved on.. Honestly I know I will never stop loving you.. You are amazing and talented and I wish you were mine.. But You are not… And you showed me that You never will be.. That there is no hope for us.. Summer is coming and I’m scared. I figured maybe if you saw me everyday you would realize you miss me.. But a whole summer away from me.. You will move on.. You won’t miss me.. You will realize you deserve better and you will never come back.. So I guess I’m in denial.. I’m just hoping one of these days you will run into my arms and hold me. And tell me you miss me.. But now all I get is harsh words and weird looks. I can’t breathe because you were my oxygen.. But I need to go back to the way it was.. Before you.. When the only air I needed was myself. I didn’t know true love. I didn’t know anything. It’s better that way.. Love fuvking hurts. And I guess I’m cocky and a bitch because people loved me but I never truly loved them. And then here is you.. Been a month or so since you first cut it off and I’m still crying. Pulling you back in, you making me feel like maybe you still loved me and that maybe someday we could make it. And then you realizing I’m not enough. Just please stop fuvking pushing it into my face.. Showing off your sex life or how amazing your friends are. You know I’m a kicked puppy and I cry at the drop of a hat.. But you say this stuff anyway.. Why… Are you trying to hurt me or is this your wall to protect yourself.. You think I’m trying to guilt you back into me.. And god I’m sorry it seems like that but I’m so lost. I would do anything to have you back. And I honestly don’t know what I’m doing. A lot of times I want to scream that you promised me forever.. And a cute house with puppies and our kids and our love.. That you promised.. That you said you wouldn’t leave me.. That you would be different. You knew I was a fuvking tornado. I told you I would break your heart and that you would break mine.. Yes.. I broke your heart first.. But it’s been a year since what happened but I’m still getting stabbed over it. I have been reminded everyday about the pain I caused. And at first I deserved it. But now.. I’m fuvking tired. Now I have to live with the fact that I lost my one and only.. My true love.. I never thought it would be this hard. I never thought I would be one to do this love thing. When things started with us.. I was so scared and I had no idea. Because wow you were and are a freaking beautiful miracle in my life. And when we got caught, I was scared shitless. I couldn’t handle it. So I pushed you away, I thought you would be happier that way. Because when we first got caught.. I realized how scared I was and how much I loved you. So I ran away and made a mistake.. We got caught again and I got scared again.. Thinking I’m causing you too much pain and I have to leave so you can be happy. But instead I caused you more pain. I regret a lot of things but I don’t regret you. Our old memories are my favorite to think about. But things are different now. Dreams don’t last forever and I’m alone again. I have to move on so you can be happy. In going to put my happiness on the line for you because man, I need you to be happy. Happy Mary is my favorite. I need to stop thinking about you. And playing your songs. I need to stop wearing your shirt. I need to stop getting excited when tumblr or kik shows up because I think it’s you. But it never is. I’m stubborn and I need to get through my head that you aren’t coming back. That you made your choice and I know hating you will make this easier. For the both of us. And trust me I’m trying to hate you. But even though you sre hurting me with the boys or the sex or the fact you seem like I never meant a damn thing to you. I still love you. And when you brush up against me it’s like a bee sting that never felt so good. And when you look at me (it’s rare) I feel like my whole world has been filled.. When did you stop feeling this way.. Because just because I ran away and got scared doesn’t mean I stopped feeling like this. Our love is tragic.. A tragic beautiful sad love story. And I will tell our stories for generations. I will tell my kids about you. And tell them not to tell daddy or mommy. 😂 I will tell them about our adventures. And our tales and our stupid moments and our best ones. Because you are unforgettable Mary Lou Johnson. I remember talking to you about my name. My name sounds amazing with yours. Julieanna Johnson. That’s a seller. But that’s a name for book or for a story. It’s not a name for reality. You have moved on. You are happier without me. You show me that everyday. How much you don’t need me. How much I do not make a damn difference if I’m there or if I’m not. So I need you to mean notbing to me.. I need you to kill me for that to happen. Because you will always mean something to me..

[azlovesem]

Hey musk is your mommabsilable gor a date?? How much?? Dhes a silver foxy lady. I wanna fuvk hed right in the ass then make her suck the shit off mu cock. Tell hef i treat her like the lady she is. Wheres yoyr old man at bitch? Dead. Ok good. Lets get it on. Then ill put onbthag record elon. Leys getvit on show her dome hatd motown lovn. Ivsaid uiu losers wanna see area 51 ??? Ha ha ha of vourse you dont. Idiot. No one rver aets foot on my bases Elon. Whered you get that stupid nsje was that your hot moms idea?

It really is concerning that once people like this get a whiff of power they won’t easily give it up.

I do genuinely fear for democracy in America.