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bettysupremacy · 1 year

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Always There - Steve Harrington

Summary

w/c 3.9k

a/n based off of this song that drops me to my knees every time I listen to it. Lyrics are out of order, ignore it ♡

Request

You’ve been waiting for your lover, what you’ll discover, is she’s always there.

Long were the nights you once thought about Steve.

Seven and knee scrapes, you’d been there with a GI Joe bandage. Twelve and arguing parents, you’d been there with your palms, warm over his ears.

It was natural with him, always had been.

Fourteen and his first girlfriend, you’d been there with open arms during their break up. Though, he didn’t seem to mind she’d left him for Jack Thompson, a stumpy boy a year older than them. Like he anticipated it, like he knew it was coming. It’d always bewildered you that he wasn’t upset his first girlfriend was stolen from him, but he had you he’d said, and that was enough for him.

16 and Nancy wheeler, you’d stub the toe of your shoe into the ground when she came along, and pretend she didn’t get to you the way she did.

Steve with her was a lump in your throat, but what were you to do? He loved her, he told you, It was different than the other girls. You couldn’t inadvertently scare her off with your silence, or push her away with darting glares in the halls. She loved him too. Or, so he’d thought.

Steve didn’t know why it felt like he was forcing himself to love Nancy. It stressed him, weighing down on his tight chest when he’d thought about the way she proclaimed them bullshit. Like he was just some fling, some distraction.

Not her distraction. His.

“Bullshit.” Nancy had slurred. “We’re bullshit.”

And Steve wondered why it was you he wanted to reach for in the moment. He knew you’d be there to wipe the cold water of Nancy’s indifference from his face.

His body ached as you held him that night under silly confetti sheets he’d bought you. The same sheets you’d brought to your new apartment. Pent up stress leaving his body in guttural sobs, It embarrassed him, pushed him further into your own aching chest. You didn’t mind, preening from the attention he’s been lackluster with.

You toe at his hip now, under the roof of an apartment you two call your own. Thinking about it makes you a nostalgic Steve calls you silly for, so you sit quiet as he grabs your socked foot, thumb pressing into the soft middle. “Foot message?”

20 and grown up, you feel like he’s been taking care of you more lately.

He drops your foot. “You wish.”

You smile, all the cheek he loves, but he doesn’t look away from the blindingly bright TV. Your shoulders drop, wishing you’d catch him looking at you the way you looked at him.

Twenty felt nice on him. Twenty warmed his skin and broadened his shoulders. It was shown in the way his arms filled the sleeves of his crew necks, the way he carried himself with a new lightness.

You’d always known he’d look good grown up, and twenty was grown up when you were sixteen. Taxes and rent, grocery shopping and working a job, you’d always known it’d be Steve you’d do those arduous adult tasks with. You just hoped it’d be as his girlfriend, not his roommate.

It ached the 14 year old inside of you. Roommate wasn’t the best adjective for what you were, but it worked. He was your best friend, your diary, your Steve. Not your roommate. He hated it, correcting everyone in a 20 mile radius when they called you that.

Movie night with your roommate?

best friend

It’s only fair when you decide to push his buttons a little. The lack of attention eats you, and you know he doesn’t like to talk about his dates to you. “How was Carrie?”

“Hm?”

“Carrie?”

“Oh,” Steve breathes out heavily. “She was fine.”

You nod slowly, though it still isn’t received, like the smile you had plastered on just for him 2 minutes ago.

He seems tired, though usually he’s able to muster a knock it off.

“There’ll be a second date?” You don’t know why you seek out this answer.

“Um,” his head lolls against the couch, turning to look at you. “No,” his head shakes, “I don’t think so.”

“What?” Your eyes squint. “Why not?”

His laugh is exasperated. “I don’t know, sweet thing.” Heat crawls up your neck, embarrassed at his unexpected attention. “Why are we playing 20 questions?”

“Sorry.” You murmur, drawing your knees up. Defensive, but he doesn’t mind.

“It’s okay.” He murmurs back, smile lilting his voice playfully. “Are you okay?”

Your eyes pop up to his. He’s grateful to make contact with them. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“Cause we’re playing interrogate Steve.”

“I said sorry.” There’s a loose thread of the couch in between your fingers. You tie it anxiously.

“You didn’t need to.” He teases.

“I know.” You tease back, lighthearted. Just loud enough to hear, just quiet enough that you don’t have to use your voice, you’re scared he’ll hear the choke in your throat.

The couch below you crinkles as Steve turns back to his tv, and you’re embarrassed. So embarrassed.

He doesn’t know this, of course, but it still gnaws that he could see through your interrogation. As he’d put it.

“Y/N.” His voice is quiet.

The TV still plays, background noise though you pretend to pay attention.

“Hm?” You feign attention, or a lack thereof.

His hand drops from the couch cushion to your knee, squeezing concernedly. “Are you okay?”

Or maybe he does know. Maybe he knows more than you’d think.

“Yes, Steve,” There’s a weak laugh that makes him frown. “Are we playing interrogate Y/N now?”

“No,” he drags out, gently. “you just seem.. sad?”

You nod. “Thank you.”

“No,” he says again, a little more stressed. “I just mean- shit, I can tell you want to cry.” his chest hurts. “Did I do something?”

Your head shakes, words failing you.

He’s upset now. Not at you, of course, but at himself for being the reason you weren’t able to talk.

“M’sorry.” His head shakes, dismissing his earlier question. “Please don’t be upset with me, just.. tell me when you’re ready.”

You nod, knowing that he‘s still watching, though he’s turned back to Full House.

Something about him noticing your upset doesn’t sit right with you. He’s known you since you were 5, of course he can tell when you want to cry. Of course he notices the freckle next to your eye and the birthmark on your hip. Don’t all friends?

Your stomach stumbles and you get up, tripping to get to your small bedroom before Steve sees the tears. You and him had a small budget apartment shopping, but it was yours, and that’s what mattered.

You’re grateful when Steve seemingly doesn’t follow, though he stands behind the door petrified. He’s the reason you’re hiding away, he’s the reason he can hear racketing sobs, and he doesn’t know what he did.

He thinks for a moment, that you must know what he’s been thinking lately.

—

Stay while in your slumber, tumble under, and never wake.

Family video is cold without you.

Steve doesn’t think there was ever a Family Video shift he didn’t work with you, and your vanishment has completely left him an absence of a boy.

Not that you quit or anything drastic like that.

Called in sick, is what Robin had said, and when Steve didn’t believe her, he’d had no choice but to tell the nosy girl what had happened the night before.

She’d sympathized with him like a good friend should, but that didn’t mean she agreed with him. She sometimes wish he had more interesting drama. He’d make a better coworker best friend.

“I mean, how do you think she feels, Steve?”

They sit on the floor of Family video behind the counter. Besides the establishment being empty of you, it was also devoid of customers, like your light drew them in. And they weren’t going to stand a ten hour shift if they hadn’t needed to.

His attention catches, looking up from the boxes Robin hands him to snap shut and throw in a crate. “What?”

She, unlike Steve, doesn’t look up, focused on the repetitious task of opening movie boxes, and stamping their return. “She’s your best friend of, what, 15 years?”

He doesn’t understand where she’s getting at, eyebrows scrunched in pure confusion. So what? “What does that have to do with this?”

Robin heaves a sigh, letting the stamp clunk down onto the hardwood loudly. If she notices Steve cringe, she makes no attempt to apologize. “I’m sure it gets tiring watching you go on date after date.”

“I do not go on ‘date after date.’” His pointed glare fails to cut through Robin.

“How many boyfriends has she had, Steve?”

On a normal day these questions would be tolerated. Today, they are not. “I don’t see what you’re getting at, Robin.”

She sighs again, more exasperated than before. His heart trips meanly at his friend being frustrated with him. “It hurts her feelings, Steve.” His head turns, Robin marches on. “I mean, she’s the only constant girl in your life, besides me, and you haven’t made a move!”

“That doesn’t mean anything.” His head shakes. “I just don’t want to lose her.”

“Did you want to lose me when you told me you loved me in the Starcourt toilets?”

Won't you tell her that you love her? And you'll hug her, most every day.

“I did not tell you I loved you.” His eyes roll. “Besides, I tell her I love her.”

Robin nods encouragingly. “That’s great, but is it the same way you told me you loved me?”

Steve loves Robin. It’s a deep twisting love that Steve is not ashamed to admit to anyone who asks, but even he knows that’s not the same love he holds for you. It’s different. Your his person. He feels a little sick.

“I think you should see sense, Steve.” Robin shrugs.

His hand runs over his eyes. “Thanks, Robs.”

“You’re welcome.” She chirps. “I just miss her here is all.”

Steve let’s his first smile of the day slip. “Is all.” He mimics

She laughs louder than him. “Shut up and finish your pile, you’re slowing me down.”

—

Walk a while in her summer, she is the drummer, of your beating heart.

Summer days are so much better when your best friend isn’t acting weird.

Weird is harsh.

The sun beating down heavily, your warm foggy head lays in Robins lap. Her fingers work through your hair, untangling tiny knots your brush didn’t glide through this morning. It’s nice. You breathe through your nose softly.

“Getting sleepy?” Robin murmurs, quiet in contrast to the shrieks of happy teenagers fifty feet away.

“No,” you huff, adjusting comfortably on her thigh, “just bored.”

“Hear that.” She nods, though only Steve can see. They’d wanted an outside day, wanted to skate and run and work themselves in the heat of the sun. Who was Steve to say no to that?

The blanket a languid tangle of teenage young adult limbs, he stares at the notable gap between your thigh and his. It’s raging and wide as the Mississippi River. He can’t stand it.

“What’s for dinner?” Robin asks into the air, but you know it’s not directed towards you.

“I don’t know,” Steve yanks a blade of grass from the ground. It’s soft between his fingers as his thumb glides against the smooth surface. He chucks it at Robin. “Ask the children’s mothers.”

She sniffs out as it hits her nose, he grimaces as she gently pulls it from where it’s landed in your hair. “Come on, you’re not gonna feed them?”

“What kind of dad are you, Steve?” You murmur into Robin’s thigh, tickling her softly.

He watches you, eyes still closed, reach out and flick his knee. It’s the first time you’ve directly touched him this entire evening. It sets off something awful in his chest.

“I mean- shit you know we gotta pay the electric,” His head shakes. “Can’t exactly afford Happy Meals for six.”

You sigh, ignoring Robin’s displeased mumble as you sit up. “I already paid electric, Steve.”

He doesn’t understand, tugging the brim of his cap down confusedly. Love will keep us together, it reads. Robin teased him for it, but he knew it was your favorite. “But we usually split that?”

“Just wanted to get ahead of things,” you shrug, not quite making eye contact. “figured you’d have some extra money for things like this.”

He hates the sincerity in your voice, eyeing your fingers as they tug the hem of his shorts absentmindedly. “You didn’t have to do that, babe.”

You shrug again, dropping your head back into Robin’s warm lap. “Wanted to.”

His head thumps with heat, or longing. He can’t tell them apart, covering his cool eyes from the heat of the sun with his hat. If it helps, he’ll know which the problem was.

Lucas is the first one to come running hungry. His nimble fingers punch a yellow straw into his capri sun, sucking greedily. Robin swats his hand when it overflows onto sticky fingers, mumbling something about the blanket. He doesn’t mind, tossing it into the grass.

“I’m hungry.”

“Hi, hungry.” You smile, though you don’t look up from your resting spot. Robin snorts at the unfunny joke, Steve cringes.

“Is she okay?”

“Just warm.” You nod, peeking at him. His visor covers the run from his eyes protectively, your eyes glint in a tease you won’t let slip. “We’re getting food soon.”

“Food?” Max drops to the blanket, kicking Lucas in the ribs softly, teasingly.

“We’re getting Happy Meals.” You affirm, reaching up to pull her thick red hair from her sweaty neck. Mike displeases.

“We’re not kids anymore.”

“You love the apple slices.” Wills elbow knocks Mikes.

“I could go for a Happy Meal.” Dustin disagrees with Mike. Max hums something of an agreement.

“Dollar menu.” Steve corrects, fighting off the petulant whines of 16 year olds in his ears. He’ll be buying you something pretty.

—

Don't you try to push or shove her, Find another, Or she'll walk away

The days following slow Steve down. Mentally and physically.

He doesn’t want to get up for work, doesn’t want to be ignored by you, to get a small smile for something that usually gets him your shining laugh.

You paid the electric in full so he could pocket some cash. He’d called the company that night to double check.

Not that he didn’t trust the veracious words from your mouth, it just startled him. You didn’t have to do that. You shouldn’t have done that. You’re a team, teams talk about these things.

He can’t help but feel that he’s the reason you haven’t talked to him.

You go grocery shopping and he could be sick. You buy for the both of you. Your fruit, his protein powder. Your snacks, your snacks x2 so Steve can share without feeling guilty. It’s a low punch to the gut.

It kills him that you do these things. These little things that splay your love embarrassingly on a table. You remember he doesn’t like Dawn dish soap and get Meyers instead. What is love if not attention? He doesn’t deserve it.

So he makes it up to you.

He does the dishes while your away, cleans the kitchen and stocks your coffee pods when they run low. Tiny acts he hopes won’t go unnoticed by you.

Though, this new act is not so tiny.

Creasing in the palm of his hand, the rough material of a tote bag handle squeezes. It’s warm, and slightly wet, from the warmth of his nervous hand. Is this too much? He’d got the prettiest bunch there, wrapping it in brown crinkle paper, cause no girl wants flowers in plastic Nancy had told him once.

He’s grateful to the teenage memory of her. A mental note to thank her.

Standing in front of your closed wood door, he can hear the loud music of the vinyl Robin had gotten you for Christmas last year. A thoughtful present, really, though you had to buy a record player to use it. You’d made Steve promise to never tell her, accepting the gift in a warm hug. She’d seemed really pleased.

“She's a woman in a dream, one that makes you fall in love”

He knocks, low enough to play it off if you don’t hear. But you do, of course you do.

There’s a soft shuffle. A click and a sputter of a record player dying down, a bed being situation on, and then a “Yes?”

He breathes out, turning the knob. It’s cold, and the gold paint chips off every so often, but it’s in your apartment that you and Steve pay for with your grown up jobs. If you could call family video that.

He can’t make himself walk in, leaving against the doorframe anxiously with his arms over his chest. It was supposed to be natural with you, you were his person. So why’d this feel so awful.

“I got you something.” He chokes out.

“You did?” Your eyes peak down at the brown paper crinkling out the tote bag. The sight of Steve Harrington with a tote bag. Where is your Polaroid?

Padding into your room cautiously, he pulls the flowers out gently. They’re rough around the edges, you can’t deny. Cleaned and snipped, you can see the spots he hadn’t meant to knick, and the way the paper dents in places it shouldn’t. “Still your favorite?” He hands them to you, still so gently.

“Yes,” you whisper, shocked beyond repair. “And the brown paper.”

“Eh,” he scratches his neck sheepishly. “Nance once told me girls didn’t like plastic wrapped flowers. I hope it’s not too fancy schmancy”

“I love any flowers.” Your honest voice mumbles. He almost doesn’t hear you as you look up to him. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.” He nods. He opens his mouth to say something, closing it silently. Your amused smile rings around his head.

“Yes?”

His fingers twitch. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

You choke a swallow. “What are you talking about?”

“The dates.”

“The dates?” The space between your eyebrows crease like the paper in your hands. “Those never made me uncomfortable.”

“I just-“ He breathes out, dejected. “Never?”

Your brain sputters. “Did you want them to?”

“No?” He panics. “No, no!” His head shakes furiously. “Just, Robin said-“

He’s cut off by your loud laugh. “That was your first mistake.”

His head cocks.

“Taking advice from her.” You give with a shrug. He coughs, startled.

“Yeah,” he nods, serious, definite. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“I mean, I love her, but this is the girl that had a crush on a Nashville wannabe for three years.”

He huffs a laugh that’s not all there. “Still don’t see what she saw in her.” His head shakes.

You squint, his dejected limpness detected quickly by your roaming eyes. “A voice only a mother could love.” You beg a laugh from him.

His shoulder shakes and his eyes flick to the posters covering the off white of your walls.

“Ok,” he breathes, patting his hip. “well I’ll get out of your hair.” He nods to himself. “Just wanted to give those to you.”

“Thank you, Stevie.”

The nickname pinches him and it hurts. He nods to you this time. “Anytime, bug.”

Ouch.

Crestfallen as a kicked puppy, he heads for the door. The sight stomps your heart.

Your weak voice stops him. “They never made me uncomfortable, but maybe a little jealous?”

He turns. “What?”

“I mean-“ your head tilts to the side, slowly shrugging. “It wasn’t fun hearing about Cass,”

“Carrie.”

“Carrie, and the other girls.” You pause. “Even if you never gave me the details.”

You tread a line of no return. Steve kicks you forward.

“But jealous?” He whispers.

You shrug, sheepish. “Yeah.”

“Oh.”

Your esophagus closes, no longer letting you swallow without a fight. That hurt. “Yeah,” you repeat. “Oh.”

The silence is deafening. Wow, you think.

You bring your fingers up to scrub tired eyes. They burn from your lack of sleep and the tears that threaten to front. “Maybe let’s just forget this?” Your shoulders deflate and he hates the crack in the end of the sentence.

“What?”

“Your ‘oh’ said a lot,” you breathe out self consciously. “So let’s just drop it before we can’t take back our words.”

Before we can’t take back our words.

“But I want that.” Steve frowns. “I want to not take it back.” He’s scared of tightness in his chest.

You pause. “Oh.”

He smiles. “Yeah,” he copies you. “Oh.”

It’s quiet after that. The whirring fan above you clicking with each turn. What do you say to that? This boy, the object of your affection for god knows how long, reciprocates your love.

“Wow.”

He laughs, his eyes squinting. “Right?”

“What wouldn’t you be able to take back?” You push lightly, daring a look at him. His hair mussed, his shirt wrinkled, you know he’s lost as much sleep over this as you.

“That-“ he starts slowly “That I’ve been into you since I was 14.”

You sit in quiet apprehension. The corners of his mouth ache from the smile he can’t wipe away.

“That I date to find a girl who compares to you,” His head tilts. “and they don’t.”

“We’re so stupid.”

“Just a little.” He grabs your arms gently and pulls you up to stand under him. The way he looks down at you kills the butterflies in your stomach and replaces them with something stronger. He tucks hair behind your ear, admiring. “You’re the nicest girl I’ve ever met, even when I don’t deserve it.”

You paw at his chest. “Stop.” You murmur.

He shakes his head. “You tolerate me to an extent I don’t understand, but I’m grateful.”

“I don’t tolerate you, idiot.” Your lips bend down. “I like you.”

He agrees quietly, not wanting to ruin the moment with his insecurity. “You know, before I talked to Robin I thought you were upset because you could read my mind?”

Your head shakes, amusedly disbelieved. “I take back what i said earlier, going to Robin for advice was amazing.”

“Shut up,” he pushes you back without letting go. “I thought you were hearing how much I wanted to kiss you.”

Your nose scrunches. “That’s so silly.”

“So silly.” He agrees, swaying you forward and backwards. “Is it silly that I want to kiss you now?”

“No,” you whisper. “I already knew that,” your face is stony faux seriousness. “I read your mind.”

He snorts, bending down to press his lips to your own. It’s soft and slow. His lips are smooth and if you didn’t know him like you do, you wouldn’t know he’s been using aquaphor since he was 18.

He pulls back gently and kisses you again quicker. “You’re so soft.” His fingers itch to slide from your waist and pull you in by your belt loops.

“Your chapstick.” You murmur, dazed.

“That shit is $9,” You know his annoyance isn’t real. “I need you to write me a check for what you owe me.”

“Can I pay you back in kisses?”

He pauses. “One kiss is .50 cents.” His eyes close, dramatizing his seriousness. “I need 18 kisses on the lips now.”

On the lips. You laugh at his wording. “I think we can make that work.”

She is what our love is made of.

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