#stuff i realise while refusing to get up from bed

[sunwoowrites]

His Anger, His resentment- He's Hurt. (Part 2)

Y/N x Chan Angst, comfort.

Ever since the presumed breakup, I have been living at full speed. I have lived, breathed ‘mastering the perfect morning routine’. I wake up before dawn every day, dragging myself out of bed despite the exhaustion that clings to my bones. The gym has become my battlefield. Every rep, every mile, every drop of sweat is a fight to silence the voices in my head—voices that echo his words: "Lazy." I push myself harder each day, as if working out long enough will erase the sting of those words, as if making my body strong will somehow make me enough.

My days are consumed by a strict routine I’ve crafted - meditation, journaling, praying. Anything to “centre” myself, the thoughts that swirl around me, constantly reminding me of how "ungrateful" I was in his eyes. I tell myself it’s working, that I’m doing better, that I’m healing—but the reality is, I’m drowning in the pressure I’ve put on myself.

Hours slip by as I force my mind to focus, to study every page like it’s my lifeline. I’m not just studying; I’m cramming, obsessing over every detail, determined to prove I’m not the lazy, unmotivated person he accused me of being. I’m trying to prove my self-worth.

The kitchen has turned into a place of torture. I spend endless hours trying to perfect my recipes, tweaking ingredients, timing everything just right. But with every meal I make, a voice whispers in my mind: "You always cook horrible food." The taste of failure lingers in my mouth no matter how much I try. I’ve applied for part-time jobs, working late into the night, just to pay for my studies on my own. I refuse to "leech."

Somewhere, deep down, I know it’s too much. I know I’m running on fumes, that I’m losing myself in the chaos of trying to be perfect. But as long as I keep moving, keep achieving, maybe - just maybe it will fill the empty space he left behind.

 Chan doesn’t realise the weight of the situation until Friday rolls around. His phone vibrates in his hand, and the screen flashes with a notification from his manager.Jeongin knocks on his studio door, Chan barely registers the sound. "Come in," he murmurs, distracted, fingers gripping his phone. Jeongin opens the door.

"Hyung, the movie is about to start." Chan nods, getting up in understanding, but only then does he realise that it’s already Friday. How did the week slip away so fast? He sighs and gets up from his desk. For a brief moment, the weight of his responsibilities threatens to pull him under.

Chan walks out, phone in hand, takes a deep breath, attempting to mask the unease gnawing at him, and flings himself on the vacant seat. The lounge is filled by the members and their significant others. The usual sounds of laughter and conversation fill the air. Chan checks the messages from his manager asking for updates on their current project.

Manager Hyung

How far are you with the album?

20:30

The words hang in the air, sharp and cold. Chan feels a familiar rush of panic flood his chest, his stomach twisting. He freezes for a moment before a flashback hits him like a slap to the face. A few days ago, while Chan was at the company studio, he got called by his manager. "How far along are you with the new album's music?" The blood drained from Chan’s face. "Hyung...I've been so caught up with the other groups' new albums. I completely forgot." His voice tight, trying not to sound unprofessional.

While his manager reassures him with a "I'll see what I can do,” his voice calm yet frustrated. Chan apologises profusely, but the damage had already been done. Chan beats himself up. How could it slip my mind? I’m the leader. I was supposed to be reliable. It’s my responsibility to make sure stuff like this doesn’t happen.

Jeongin notices a shift in Chan’s demeanour, his usual upbeat energy dampened. Chan, who always wore his emotions on his sleeve, is now staring blankly at the screen, barely acknowledging the film playing before him. And to top it all off, I'm nowhere to be seen. In fact, he hasn’t heard from me in a while. Did something happen?

“Hyung, where’s Y/n?” Chan looks at Jeongin. “Right here…” The words die in his throat when he looks around the lounge to see that I was, in fact, not there. Not only does his mind go radio silent, but it begins to crash. The world around him fades, and all that remains is the crushing thought

What did I do?

His hand trembles slightly as he reaches for his phone, but his thoughts are clouded. Was it something he said? Something he didn’t say? He recalls the last few days, the argument, the coldness he’d thrown my way. He can't remember the exact moment it started unravelling, but now, in the pit of his stomach, the gnawing feeling is undeniable. Jeongin and now the other members begin growing concerned, “Hyung…?” Chan lets out a shaky breath. “I don’t know.”

Chan grabs his coat, running out the door – sending countless calls and messages to get through to me. He reaches my apartment.

My kitchen looked like a war zone. The air is thick with the smell of burnt food, and the sink is piled high with failed attempts. The timer rings, signalling the latest batch of cookies I’ve tried to perfect, but the results are disappointing, as they always are. I slide the tray out of the oven, a wave of frustration rising in my chest. I breathe heavily.

"Just one thing right. One thing," I mutter, eyes stinging with tears I refuse to shed. I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself, focusing on the next task, the next step in the routine that has become my life. But it’s not working. Nothing feels right. Nothing feels enough.

A crash from the kitchen interrupts my spiral. A bowl falls from the counter, shattering on the floor. I freeze, the sound of it reverberating in my mind. I feel like I’m breaking, just like the pieces of ceramic at my feet. It’s then that I hear the knock on the door. My heart skips a beat. I look at the camera on the wall. It’s Chan.

He looks dishevelled, with bags under his red eyes. I don’t want to answer. I can’t. But something inside me forces me to go. My fingers tremble as I reach for the door handle. When I open the door, Chan stands there, coat still on, his face filled with concern. His gaze softens as he takes me in—my apron messed with cookie dough and flour. My hair in a messy bun. I’m worn down. I’ve been fighting battles no one can see. "Y/n…"

I turn around and go to clean up the mess on the floor. I pick up the pieces of ceramic from the floor. He follows behind me. "Honey." I ignore him hastening my cleaning up. "Honey listen to me." he moves to clean the mess for me. I push his hand grabbing the pieces hurriedly not caring for the cuts that begin to decorate my palm. ''Can you not Chan?!"

He takes a deep breath stepping away. Eyes welled with tears. "You're hurting yourself." I roll my eyes dropping the pieces into the plastic bag. "Oh please, as if you care. Don't pretend." He moves closer to me. "I really didn't mean it. None of it."

I turn to him, "You know, I really want to believe you, Chan. To an extent, I do, because I know who you are. I know what type of person you are - both on and off camera. But your words broke something in me. Something I don’t know how to fix anymore. And it hurts. It’s something I would never, in a million years, have done to you - even at my lowest. I don’t know if this is something you can fix, Chan."

He sighs, dejected by my words. He walks toward me and gently takes my hands in his. He grabs a paper towel, dampening it, and begins cleaning up my cuts. His face tightens in concern as he frowns, then walks away to get the first aid box. He motions for me to sit on the barstool and begins sorting through my wounds.

Tears roll down his cheeks, but he doesn’t speak. When he’s finished bandaging my hands, I lift his chin gently. "You don’t have to beat yourself up," I say softly. He frowns, his voice barely a whisper. "I could say the same to you."I sigh, looking away for a moment, gathering the strength to speak. "I think we need a break—"

He interrupts me, his voice firm. "No." I hold his hand, squeezing it. "Yes, we do. You need to work through whatever’s going on with you, on your own. And I... I need therapy. I need time to heal. When we’re better... maybe then we can try and do this again."

He looks at me, eyes searching mine. After a moment, he adds quietly, "Can we at least still stay friends during that time? I want us to heal our bond as well." I nod. He opens his arms and engulfs me in a comforting hug. "It's all going to be okay." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Yeah."

[maranull]

omfg

10 or 9 years ago a girl asked me on a date. I went on the date. I had fun. She looked like she did too. We spent like two extra hours after the movie just messing around whatever shops and restaurants were still open.

AND ONLY NOW I FIGURED OUT IT WAS A DATE

I'm so fucking sorry girl, hope your other romantic interests were/are less dense.

[hughes-your-daddy]

your patient

paring: quinn hughes x fem reader

summary: quinn refuses the attention of the medical training staff and insists he has his own wife treat him

warning: blood, swearing, injury

sitting at your station sorting through some patient files, about to finish your load for the night when one of the student nurses comes knocking.

“dr. hughes, there’s someone asking for you in bay 5.” she smiles before heading off.

furrowing your brows you head out, adjusting your scrubs before turning into the bag seeing the back of a familiar head.

“elias?” you asks before hes moving out the way to reveal a bashed up quinn, holding some gauze to his face.

“oh my god, what the hell happened?” you ask moving around to gently pull away the gauze, seeing a blunt cut across his left eye area and a slice across his right cheek.

“got hit in the face with a puck then faceplates into someone’s skate.” elias says simply, taking a seat across the bed.

“why aren’t you stitched up.” you asks even though your eyes drift to elias.

“he refused to be checked by anyone but you.” elia smirks looking down at his phone.

“quinn.” you scold moving across the room to grab some tools.

“just wanted a professional to see me.” he mumbles, holding the gauze back to his face while you grab your stuff, before you shoot him a look.

“they are professionals, some of the best actually.” your glare, rolling over to the bed on your stool.

“pull your hand away.” you say, taking the gauze out of quinn’s hand, tossing it in the trash before moving to clean it with some anti bacterial.

“you need to be more careful.” you mumble, gently patting at the open wounds on his face. you quickly make work of cleaning and prepping the wounds for stitches, going to have to put quite a few in each one.

“ok, gonna be a little bit of a sting.” you warn, hand coming up to put the first stitch in, quinn pulling in a short breath, hand coming to grasp your thigh with the pain.

“keep breathing for me honey.” you say gently without loosing concentration, hearing a him take a deep breath before you continue.

it takes around an hour before finally finishing the sutures on his face.

“alright, your all done,” you smile, gently patting his good cheek.

“i’m gonna prescribe him some antibiotics to stop any infection,” you start, tossing your blue gloves in the bin. “i’ll grab my keys and you can get him to my car,” you smile at elias before quickly heading to the staff room, grabbing your keys from your locker.

you pass them to elias, “thanks petey,” before turning to quinn, “i won’t be long ok, just make sure your stuff is in my car yeh?” you ask, already seeing his face start to puff up. he nods with a slug it frown before elias helps him out to the car lot.

you quickly go and pack your bags, throwing a hoodie over your scrub top before grabbing the prescription for quinn, making your way out of the hospital and signing out for the night.

you make your way over to your car seeing quinn’s head rest against the window of the passengers seat from the inside. you chuck your bag into the back before getting into the drivers seat.

“ready to go home hun?” you asks, seeing a small smile make his way across his face, hand finding your thigh again with a much less aggressive grip, before you pull out, driving home.

it doesn’t take too long considering the time of night before your pulling into the driveway of your shared home. the two of your get out, quinn unlocking the front door straight away deciding just too leave both of yours bags in the car for tonight.

yous kick your shoes before quinn heads for the stairs, stopping when he realises your not following but heading into the kitchen.

“you not coming to bed?” he asks, a small pout almost forming on his lips.

“gotta make us some food quinn, i doubt you e had anything since lunch?” you ask seeing a slight blush creep onto his face, a she knows he’s been caught out.

“ok.” he nods, about to move back to follow you before you stop him.

“no, go rest and take your pill. i’ll bring something up for you.” you say, stern but gentle, passing over the box of pills for him to take upstairs with him.

he gives a small nod before heading upstairs whilst you move into the kitchen. you decide on just reheating some leftovers from last night, quickly serving up two plates before heading upstairs into your room, seeing quinn, already stripped of his clothes and laying in bed, scrolling netflix on the tv.

he looks over at your movement, quickly siting up sending you a smile when you pass over his plate, but wincing at the movement.

you place your own table on the night stand, quickly stripping of your own clothes, throwing one of quinn’s old t-shirts on before climbing into bed with your food.

yous decide on watching orange is the new black, you looking over every so often seeing quinn struggle to eat anything. you quickly finish yours losing your plate on your bed stand before turning to him, taking the plate from his grasp.

“baby, i can do it.” he sighs, giving in as you sees you hold up his fork for him to take the food off the end, manoeuvring it so he wouldn’t have to move his mouth as much.

“mmh, thank you.” he smiles, as much as he can, being able to actually eat something rather than struggling, “i love you, you know.” he says, a small blush creeping up your ears

“in sickness and in health huh?” you giggle, wiggling your ring finger, holding your wedding ring.

“really grateful that your a doctor.” he smirks slightly, you gently pushing his shoulder.

“oh shut up,” you giggle, seeing the light come back to his eyes for the first time that night.

“but seriously, i really appreciate everything you do, can’t put into words how much I love you.” he nods, moving to have his arm around your shoulders as you cuddle into his side, still being able to feed him.

“i love you too.”

[enjakey]

Beneath the Blue

Pairing: marine engineer!Jake x marine biologist!Fem!Reader

Hey guys, I realise this fic is like really long (24k). I’m so sorry but it’s just something I’ve been holding out on. Life’s been stressful and writing was the only thing that kept me afloat and I kinda belted this out during my sleepless nights. This is definitly not proof read.

So I guess I wanted to give you guys like a guide on how to read the fic. Each section or chapter is marked by bolded words in the beginning of a paragraph (you’ll understand when you read it). If you’re only here for the cutesy stuff, you can go ahead and skip to the fourth chapter but you’ll loose all context of the story and how everyone is related to each other. The first two chapters is just a lot of world and character building. The third chapter is where things actually start.

If you’re interested in marine biology and sea creatures, this is a perfect read. I talk a lot about sharks and whales and sea creatures. There’s a lot of insight on what marine biologists do in general. There’s suggestive stuff in the end of the seventh chapter and smut in the tenth chapter if you want to skip to that. Jay, Heeseung and Jay are a huge part of the fic (but not the plot?). There is mentions of PTSD and a storm.

I want to mention that this story is not just about Jake and Y/N’s romance but about a group of people’s love for the ocean. The other characters are important for me too and the world I’ve built is dear to me. Hope you guys enjoy! I Put a lot of time effort into this! Please like and reblog and comment.

Summary: taken under the wing of the great marine biologist Henry Sim, Y/N finds herself getting close to him and his family. She’s friends with his first son, Jason, but is apprehensive of his second son, Jake. Jake, who is notorious for his bad behaviour and disappointing decisions, finds himself being drawn to Y/N and her undeniable love towards the ocean. When the two are put together in a group of researchers for an expedition for three months on the ocean, she doesn’t expect herself to fall for him- let alone, fight storms for him.

Y/N was one of those unfortunate kids who had to be in a hospital during her birthday. She was eleven at the time, the age where she was learning to read and write on her own and didn't fuss with her mother to help her bathe or dress up. She considered it her golden age where she was just starting to learn about her interests by surfing the internet through her father's phone and transitioning from cartoon shows to movies. At school, she would talk about action films, starring Tom Cruise or Angelica Jolie, rather than the deemed childish Disney movies where the Jonas Brothers were thrown into a music camp or in which a girl hides her identity by switching wigs.

An unwanted growth, widely mistaken as a malignant tumour by many doctors, was manifesting on the bone just above her eyebrow and she had reached the age where surgeons could successfully remove it without life-threatening complications. Y/N was initially scared, refusing to get out of bed in the morning and crying while she was taken to the Operating Room. In that moment of panic and fear, she didn't feel like the brave and mature girl she thought herself to be but somewhat similar to the girls on the playground who still talked about Barbie dolls and played around with make-up sets as though they could ravishingly decorate their faces with cheap lip gloss and colourless eyeshadow.

When she woke up from an anaesthetic daze, she took a moment of silence to compare herself with the other children in her class. If any kid was in her situation, being taken into surgery by a group of a dozen strangers who were only trusted because of a piece of paper- their certificate- that was meant to credit their skill, they would flail the way she had. The girls she avoided, the mean and blonde-haired ones who snickered at anyone who didn't wear skirts and pink bows in their hair and bragged about their powerful daddy's luxurious car, would probably react the way she did, perhaps even a little more dramatically. The boys she arbitrated, the cocky and lanky ones that talk about Fortnight and whatever online games they played, would probably wail like babies. But Y/N was different, whatever that meant for a girl her age, withholding herself from succumbing to middle school's criteria for popularity and burrowing herself into a circle of comfort. She was the girl that wore glasses and carried around a thick book about animals to read during lunch and she was the girl that only had one friend because they were both weird and quiet. She was the girl that cried before the surgery because she didn't trust the surgeons and not because she was convinced her parents were selling her to an organ-harvesting cult.

While she assumed most children her age would be amused by artistic renditions of unicorns and rainbows painted on the wall, she found them rather tacky. Their eyes were too shiny and their smiles were too wide and the only thing she found realistic were the tiny chips of paint in the bright colours. There was a painting of Jake the Dog from Adventure Times sitting right above her hospital bed, staring down at her with lifeless and beady eyes while she tried sleeping during the night because the hospital wanted to keep her for observation for a day or two after the surgery, increasing the service bill at the same time. Then, there was the poorly mimicked roar of a lion stained to the wall on the right side of her bed, making her wonder if these paintings were done by previously admitted children. To the wall on the right side of her bed, right below the window, was the painting of a grinning shark and a randomly doodled jellyfish.

"That looks like the Black Sea Nettle," she pointed at the jellyfish with her nimble finger.

It was early in the morning and her mother had willed her awake from her slumber so one of the doctors could check on her vitals and change her bandaid. Y/N chewed on a green apple slice her mother handed her because she refused to eat the red apples, and patiently waited until the doctor, or Doctor Karev, as he called himself, could finish writing on a piece of paper they called a chart and changing the cotton wedged between her eyebrow and white gauze. She glanced at the painting from the corner of her eye, finding it eerily similar to a picture she saw in the book her father gifted her on her ninth birthday- The Encyclopedia of Animals.

"And that looks like a Bull Shark," she said and shifted her finger slightly so it was pointed at the cartoonish shark with a bulging stomach.

"Oh, yeah?" Doctor Karev scoffed and grinned similarly to the painted shark. His gaze didn't lift from the writing pad he held towards his face, a pen scribbling information that probably wasn't important. Her mother stood beside her, a proud smile on her face as she brushed Y/N's hair with her palm. "What can you tell me about it?"

"I know that their bite is much stronger than the Great White," she offered, shrugging and looking at her lap.

"Really?" Doctor Karev almost sounded sceptical. "Where'd you learn that?"

"A book," Y/N mumbled and pursed her lips.

Doctor Karev bent his knees enough to reach her level, tilting his head affectionately to grasp her attention. His pen was now hanging in his pocket, his writing pad pressed between his hand and thigh. "You're a smart girl, aren't you?" He praised her, impressed by her skill of comprehension. "You wanna become a marine biologist?"

"Marine biologist?"

The pair of words put together were foreign to Y/N but somehow, they sounded like they were meant to be beside each other, creating the word for the profession she had been dreaming of since she saw the picture of starfish lounging on a sea bed. Her eyes were filled with somewhat of a fascination, a sparkle reflected by what she considered a discovery and fate of luck and her smile grew ten folds, stretching her cheeks until the corners of her lips reached her ears. She looked like she was watching the stars while she looked at him, blinking and burning from a close distance as she marvelled at the masses.

"Yeah," Doctor Karev enthused. "You know, study the ocean and sea creatures and all that jazz."

"I'm gonna become a marine biologist!" She nodded, giggling like a baby that had been handed a lollipop bigger than its face. Except Y/N's lollipop was a profession, a dream to chase until it was fulfilled. Her mother laughed with her, shaking her head at her antics. "Mom, I wanna be a marine biologist!"

Doctor Karev chuckled and stood straight, making his way to the door of her hospital room and looking over his shoulder to steal one last glance at the girl he might have just paved a future for. "By the way," he said. "Happy birthday kid."

It was a crystal blue sight Jake could never get used to, and it was the fact that his family owned it that he could never wrap his head around. The aquariums ranged from floor-to-ceiling tanks holding hundreds of litres of water and aquatic species to small fish bowls holding the tiniest, most common breeds of fish. Any type of fish he could think of- sharks, whales, stingrays, eels, jellyfish and cephalopods- it was probably all there, confined between glass walls, concrete and artificially plated corals. And it could all be placed in the palm of his hand, the happiness of customers and livelihood of every creature in the building he stood in, under his control.

In all of Jake's life, he had only ever seen his father angry four times- three of those incidents pertaining to tragedies faced in The Marine Foundation of Korea, his most prized possession.

The first was when he was forced to step into court for the first time in his life. During the first week that it opened, a kid tripped and fell into an eel tank and was almost choked by a Black Spotted Eel. The kid was lucky they weren't electric but Henry Sim was still faced with a million-dollar lawsuit which they won after giving security camera footage that showed the boy clearly wandering off into prohibited territory and climbing ladders into the opening of the tanks. It wouldn't be the first lawsuit they faced as a similar one followed two years later when a little girl started crying because her necklace fell into the dolphin pool and one of them devoured it.

Two years later, one of three Whale Sharks had passed away in front of a live audience causing the building to rumble as the carcass made contact with the forged ocean bed and children to wail in confusion as one of their favourite shark buddies was sinking to the floor. Hundreds of people took videos and the news went viral online, causing critics to criticise the maintenance and care for the captive creatures. As this information circled to tourists, they didn't have customers and a proper flow of income for the following six months until they announced the new exhibit for the endangered Vaquita Dolphin. Jake remembered the terrible nights of those six months when his father would come home drunk or would shatter glasses onto the walls. He wondered how his mother coped with him. He wondered how he and his brother didn't perceive him as a monster yet.

A year later, The Marine Foundation of Korea would face another tragedy. One of the shark tanks exploded in the middle of the night, causing Hammerheads and Tiger Sharks to swim through the halls of the first floor in shallow waters. Guards were panicking and emergency services took hours to reach the aquarium before they could assess and plan a rescue. The aquarium was shut down for two months and they spent time reinstating the shattered shark tank and brewing up safety measures for when similar situations would occur again. That night, they lost two Hammerhead Sharks and one Tiger Shark and had to pay thousands of dollars as compensation. Though his father didn't violently drink, he had become dangerously silent in those two months, scaring the living daylights out of his wife and children.

Henry Sim, the founder of The Marine Foundation of Korea and the most remarkable marine biologist known to all generations, had faced lawsuits that almost made him go bankrupt and was hated by the internet for months until he publicly apologised yet he would say his biggest disappointment wouldn't lie in the way his aquarium was run. Rather, he would say his biggest disappointment lay in his son, Jake Sim, who refused to take in his footsteps and fulfil his dreams of creating an empire of nepotism to take over the world of marine biology someday.

"You never listen to me," Henry seethed with a balled fist resting on his ebony table. His voice was entirely stark for the disappointment he felt towards his son.

If Jake concentrated enough, he could hear the movement of each aquatic species in the tanks he was surrounded by. The bubbly and almost ear-blocking white noise engulfed him sometimes and he would be transported to an unnamed beach where the sand was white and the waters were so clear, he could see the corals growing underneath. He liked to imagine himself floating in the waters in shorts and an oversized white t-shirt, eyes closed as the sun beat down on his porcelain skin. That was all the ocean was to him; someplace to enjoy and someplace to destress. But to his father, it was a career he made billions in and it was a career he wanted both his sons to endeavour in.

"I've been telling you since I was a kid, appa," Jake sighed, standing on the other side of the ebony table. "I want to study engineering. Marine biology, researching new species, the ocean… All of that has always been a hobby for me. Besides, you have Jason to take over your legacy anyway. I don't get why you're so hung up on me studying it, too."

In the corner of his father's office stood a small, well-kept fish tank with a lone seahorse in it. It was the Knysna Seahorse, to be exact, the rarest seahorse in the world which Jason, his brother, gifted their father as a gift. He had paid quite an amount of money to get a hold of it and the reason for the gift? It was because he had finally graduated with a marine biology degree a few months ago and Jake was to finally attend the same university.

But he didn't want to and his entire family was very well aware of the fact.

"Don't you understand what I want for you two, though?" Henry slammed his fist against the table but Jake offered no reaction. "Don't you see the future I see for you two? Brothers taking over marine biology's legacy? It’s not too late for you to change your major."

"No," Jake stomped a foot to the ground, eyes squinting to slits. "That's your dream. Not mine. I get that you and your brother never got along and that you want your sons to get along and run a business. But I don't want that. Jason and I are fine as it is and you coming in between my dreams is just gonna drive me away from you further."

"Jake-"

"If eomma were here, she would understand," Jake took long strides towards the door, a hand digging into the pocket of his slacks as the other twisted the doorknob. "I just wish you'd understand," and his voice muffled under the slam of the door, leaving Henry dumbfounded in his seat, mouth agape and glasses sliding off his nose.

With his son leaving so disrespectfully, using his wife's death as emotional manipulation, he wanted to shun Jake right then and there. He wanted no relation to him whatsoever but he knew it was his anger speaking. And he knew that if he hastily cut him off his earnings and stopped paying for his education, he would regret it and Jason would condemn him as a worse father than he already was.

So, Henry let him walk away and he went back to work, fixing his glasses and clearing his throat as if nothing happened. Jake was still young, he'd tell himself. If he wanted to follow his dreams, he should let him. Henry was selfish, he accepted it and his ego clashed with his conscience but he brushed it off and walked out of his office with more errands to complete. The moment he entered the hall with tanks of jellyfish surrounding him, the sounds of their bodies pushing through water syncing with his racing, angry heart, his assistant joined his side with a clipboard and pen, her heels overpowering the serenity of his silence.

“What’s next on today’s itinerary?” Henry asked with his hands clasped behind his back, strides becoming slower with every step.

“You need to meet with the university students today, sir,” Hae, his assistant, stated as though she expected him to remember the important occasion.

“Don’t speak to me in that tone,” he grumbled. “Of course I remember.”

“I’m assuming the talk with your son went badly?”

“I don’t know what to do with him, Hae.”

With this sigh echoing the moment, the pair made their way through the shark exhibit that costed him millions of dollars to fix all those years ago and sauntered past the stingray tanks, wondering how he was going to be an inspiration to a group of marine biology students while he felt like a failure of a father. He wondered what else he had to contribute to the field of marine biology when he had prioritised it for his entire life. It was the reason why his son hated him and it was the reason why he lost his wife- it was his lack of presence and immense ignorance that put him in a place where he truly had nothing else to lose. He had the money, the cars, the friends to brag with and an eldest son who was succeeding in life without his help- but then there was his youngest, defying him in all manners and reminding him of the mistakes that haunted his life.

However, a beacon of hope, a ray of sanguine had entered his life that day and he wouldn’t realise it until he was laying on his deathbed. In the group of future marine biologists he met that day was Y/N, standing amongst the crowd meekly with a notebook and a pen to jot down everything that she thought would help her education and career. She was the one answering questions in a whisper when no one else knew the answer, her hand barely raised in the air. When Henry saw her, her hair tied in a ponytail and clothes put together in a hurry that made her look pathetic, he could only smile. Because as he looked at her, he saw himself- the version of him that was left in the gates of his college, the version of him that had to be left back in order to become the tycoon that he was now.

So before the group of university students left, he found himself asking Y/N for a conversation and pulled her towards the gift shop while the rest of her classmates waited at the gate, murmuring and whispering about what they could be talking about. Henry placed a heavy hand on her shoulder and smiled at her the way a mentor would smile at his mentee. He had a proud smile on his face as he said, “I think you’d make an amazing marine biologist one day.”

“What?” Y/N, the poor girl, having been put down by her classmates her whole life, was gaping at his statement. Her eyes reflect a sense of hope and surprise under the golden lights of the gift shop.

“Yes,” Henry nodded enthusiastically. “I would like it if you worked with me, I could easily offer you a job,” he said. He shuffled his hand around in the pocket of his blazer and pulled out his business card and handed it to her, certain that it would come in handy for her future. “When you’re ready for a job or an internship- anything, just call me and I’ll help you out.”

Henry walked away from her, leaving his future student dumbfounded. Her eyes fixated on the business card in her hands, her thumbs and forefingers outlining the corners of the rectangle. It was a navy blue colour, his name, number and The Marine Foundation of Korea carved in golden ink. It looked like her ticket to a new life, the life she had chased since she was a little kid carrying around an encyclopaedia of animals. It was the golden ticket in her Charlie and The Chocolate Factory.

It was a good analogy in her head. Henry Sim, the man with greying hair and diminishing eyesight, was Willy Wonka and she was Charlie, the lost boy that simply wanted a taste of something better, something great. So when it was time for her to get an internship, Henry had taken her under his wing.

“You must be Y/N.”

When Y/N started off as an intern, she started questioning whether she had made the right choice. Some of her friends were off travelling the seven seas to research unknown species of the depths and others were working in labs established on beach sides. They were living in tropical islands like the Caribbean or Hawaii and their instagrams were filled with them in diving gear and sea creatures in their natural habitats. Y/N had always dreamt of a life as such, to swim with sharks and study their behaviours or to explore the depths of the ocean floor within the safety of a yellow submarine. She imagined she would travel the world by the time she graduated college and she imagined spending most of her days on a boat, whale watching or spotting dolphins.

There was that one semester in college where she got an experience as close to what she imagined. She, along with a few other promising students, were selected to spend a semester on sea where they spent learning how to dive and sail ships. It was a memorable four months, really, to spend it with a group of people she later called friends and bonding with people on sea over half cooked fish. In that time, though the most astonishing creature they spotted was a Red Octopus, she assumed she was being trained for the future she had always dreamed of, only to end up within the confines of an aquarium- Asia’s largest aquarium, granted. Her job description as an intern included watching other employees take care of the confined species or listening to Henry, the founder, teach her more about the marine species while she took notes. There were the occasional times she was asked to write a research paper, which she did with Jason but she would much rather prefer doing the same in a lab on the beach or on a boat sailing across the Pacific Ocean.

During this time, she pondered if she should have just followed her father’s footsteps in becoming an astronomer. She would look back at her childhood when her father would teach her about constellations and planets while she looked through the giant telescope that was perched on their roof and she would wonder if such a job would make her happier. She recalled the stories her mother would tell her as a Greek historian and wondered if she should have majored in History instead. She even wondered if she should have followed her friends into their jobs instead of taking the internship in the first place. Her uncertainties came to a halt a year ago, though, when Henry promoted her as manager.

In the five years that Y/N started working in The Marine Foundation of Korea, she learnt the names and voices of everyone working there. As the manager, it wasn’t only her job but also her duty to do so, to know who she was working with and grow a personal relationship with the people around her. She knew that one of the janitor’s kid had a heart condition and she would visit him in the hospital once in a while. She knew that one of the divers working for the aquarium was in a long term relationship and was planning on proposing to his girlfriend soon- she could recognise his voice even while he struggled to speak underwater. She also knew that her boss and legal guardian, Henry Sim, had ambitions he could never fulfil because of his youngest son.

One could call her the all-knowing within the walls of the aquarium. Not only was she intelligent, she was the keeper of all the employees’ worries and burdens.

In those five years that she spent reaching her level of success, to be able to buy her own apartment in an expensive neighbourhood and to be able to afford to buy a new phone without double-checking her bank account, she had learned a lot of tricks to perfect the skills of managing the establishment that she ran when the owner wasn’t present. A once shy and timid girl became the hard-headed, thick skinned superior that demanded precision in completed work and pristine publications of whatever research papers they release. But when she wasn’t acting that way, she was calm and walked down the crystalline hallways of Korea’s beloved and prestigious aquarium with a welcoming smile.

Of all the people she knew that worked amongst the aquarium, of the few people she found herself acquainted with, the voice that was breathing into her ear from behind her did not belong to anyone she was familiar with. She could feel his chest ghosting against her back, his smirk louder than his voice could ever be. His hair brushed against her cheek and Y/N found herself spinning around with a scowl on her face.

“Jake,” she stated with discern, her obvious distaste towards him sitting heavily on her brows. His smirk only grew wider, his hand clasping behind his back as he leaned closer to her than before.

In the years that she’d known Henry and Jason Sim, she had grown rather close to them. They accepted her into their family by some sort and she was invited to every dinner they hosted in one of those fancy Chinese or Sushi restaurants- whether she attended or not was up to her. If she did attend though, she would be introduced to guests like she was Henry’s own daughter and Jason had always treated her like a sister by the way he kept her company throughout her years as an intern. Her parents, too, had grown quite fond of the father and son.

Jason and Y/N’s friendship, Henry always used to say, was unexpected. He expected them to work together and get along with each other for the sake of their jobs and business, but he was never expecting the siblingly bond they had created. Oftentimes, the pair would find themselves going out for lunch together during breaks or driving to the beach just for the sake of having some entertainment. They would regularly find themselves at each other's houses in the middle of the night with beers and soju in hopes of having movie marathons. Somewhere in that friendship, Y/N learnt a lot about the missing Sim brother.

He was studying Engineering somewhere in Australia, she learned, and he had only visited his family only a couple of times in all his years of education. There was the one time he flew back to Seoul to spend the New Year with Henry and Jason where she heard he got embarrassingly drunk and broke a glass table. Then there was the other time he visited for Christmas but disappeared within an hour without a word. Speaking of Jake meant hearing stories as such, where he was disrespectful, unexpectable and had no sense of respect. She heard that he once cussed at a shareholder because he was being too nosey.

Y/N had only ever met Jake once. Well, they didn’t exactly meet, she had just seen him passing by in a crowd. It was at another one of Henry’s lavish dinner parties where round tables were cloaked with gold cloth and napkins folded into cranes. Golden chandeliers lit above groups of conversations and amongst one of those stood Jake with overly styled hair and a suit too expensive to be bought with his own money. He was talking to some investors- or business men, she didn’t know- with one hand in his pocket and the other holding a wine glass he languidly sipped on. She was told by Jason that it was one of those rare times Jake didn’t make a scene during a party but she also heard he took a random girl to a hotel room for a one-night-stand, never to call her again.

“You say my name with such loathing,” Jake pointed out, his eyes narrowing as his teeth peeked behind his smirk. “I’d get if my dad and brother talked to me that way, but what did I ever do to you?”

Y/N took a step back, crossing her arms across her chest and tapping her heel lightly against the carpeted floor. She looked at him vexed, her mouth pursing into disinterest. Jake stood back straight, moving his hands into the pockets of his jeans and tilting his head in curiosity. If Y/N didn’t know any better, she would call him a pervert and get him thrown out of the premises by one of the guards just because she wanted to.

“I’ve heard enough stories to make a judgement,” she stated firmly.

“Is that any way to talk to your boss’ son?” He taunted.

“I frankly don’t think he’d care.”

Jake chuckled, lowering his gaze to his feet and shaking his head. His smile was bright, the crystalline waters that surrounded them reflecting on his face. A HammerHead shark from the tank behind him swam across him, followed by a Sting Ray and those animals held more of her attention than he did. “Sorry we got off on the wrong foot, Y/N,” he said and sauntered away from her, assuming he was making his way towards his father’s office. Her eyes followed him but she looked away when he glanced at her from over his shoulder. Clearing her throat, she found herself walking towards another floor of the aquarium.

Jason was right, she thought, his accent really is annoying.

Instead of the tunnel she was observing before, she was now in a fairly confined room with rectangular fish tanks one over the other, covering the span of all four walls, apart from the door. In the tanks were miniscule jellyfish that were soon to be moved to one of the larger tanks for the public to gush at. Of all the places in the aquarium, this room was probably the one she visited the most. Not because it was her favourite or anything but rather because these creatures needed most inspection. If the temperature was changed even a little bit or if the water was getting too dirty, there was a chance that a whole batch of these jellyfish would simply disintegrate.

It had happened once before, not under her watch but some other intern, who failed to notice the decrease in temperature in the room. It was a waste of a lot of Henry's money and it was also one of his favourite species that had met their demise. Because of the intern’s mistake, he yelled at him in front of the majority of the other staff and fired him. Since then, Y/N had always been cautious around her work. Perhaps it was why he was always so fond of her- she never knew why.

“Y/N?”

She flinched when she heard Jason’s voice, his head peeking into the room from the small crack of the door.

“What is it with you and your brother scaring me today?” She breathed, her hand placed over her chest.

“You met him?”

“Yeah he was walking down the tunnel, made nice.”

“He annoyed you, didn’t he?”

“Yup.”

“His first impressions are always bad.”

Jason was leading her out of the room, bringing her to the ground floor where she saw tourists and customers flocking towards the ticket booth. If there was one thing about Henry she never understood, it was the fact that he refused to digitalise the ticketing system. In fact, he refused to digitalise many things in the aquarium. He had the physical copy of every research paper published by the The Marine Foundation of Korea and his logs were still done by hand. Technology hates me and I hate technology, he would always say and this mostly stemmed from the incident where he accidentally deleted all his pictures from Google Photos.

“Isn’t an excuse to breathe down my neck,” she argued as he led her to his office.

“Damn.”

“Yeah,” she pressed. “He talked to me like he’d heard of me.”

“Obviously he’s heard of you.”

“No, I mean,” she paused, looking to her side to make eye contact with him. She wasn’t sure how to explain it, so she stuttered and used animated hand gestures to make her point. “Like he knows me.”

“Yeah, well, dad and I talk about you to him all the time.”

“What the hell?”

“In like, a business way,” Jason defended. “He asks how work goes and you sometimes come up in the conversation.”

“And what do you tell him?”

“That you’re good at your job?” He raised his brow, a confused smile meeting her look of disbelief. “Don’t take it the wrong way, he’s honestly probably just jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“Dad trusts you more than him, you know?”

Before Y/N had the chance to respond with a confused remark, perhaps even a puzzled expression, Jason was pushing open the door to Henry’s office and they were met with the sight of Henry sitting on his desk and Jake standing beside him with a grin, leaning towards whatever he was being shown on the monitor screen. Jason and Y/N settled in the chairs on the other side of the desk, the former confidently crossing one ankle over the other knee and the former confused as to why she was there in the first place. Jason had to tug her sleeve to keep her from squirming and looking around confused. There was a moment of silence that passed, Y/N’s gaze zipping between Henry and the tanks his office was surrounded by. Henry murmured to Jake while pointing at his monitor, analysing something Y/N and Jason weren’t aware of. Jake nodded along, pinching at his bottom lip in thought.

“Y/N?” Henry called. She answered with a curious hum, her brows raising. “You’re free next week? Thursday?”

“Yes, why?”

“Well, you know,” Henry brought his attention away from the monitor and towards her, pushing his glasses farther up his nose with his pinky. “I told you about it. An old friend of mine is opening a restaurant with a huge tank. He wants us there on opening night.”

“Oh, right. I remember,” she nodded.

“What, Mr. Bahng didn’t invite me?” Jake stood back straight with his arms crossed, his grin refusing to leave his expression. He looked between his father and brother, only glancing at Y/N once before continuing to tease them.

They, of course, did not find him amusing. “All of us, Jake,” Jason replied with a roll of his eyes.

“Yes, and it’s going to be a rather quiet gathering,” Henry continued. “So I expect you to be on your best behaviour.”

“When have I ever let you down, father?” Jake chuckled; Henry rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Y/N,” Henry looks at her with tired eyes. “He’s got all sorts of fish in his tank, he’s even got a Whale Shark in there-”

“Woah, what?”

“Yeah, I know, it cost a fortune but anyways,” Henry waved off. “He wants to know fun facts- his words, not mine- about all the species he’d got in there so could you be a dear and…?”

“Yeah, no problem,” Y/N grinned and patted Henry's hand that rested on his desk. “Anything but having to socialise with strangers.”

“Can I join her?” Jason chimed, pointing his thumb towards her.

In that moment, Henry glanced between his son and favourite-slash-best employee and they resembled children asking whether they could take a break from studying to watch cartoons. His eyes twitched, thinking that he didn’t want to deal with annoyance other than his younger son. “No,” Henry said. “You’re socialising with strangers. So are you, Jake.”

Jake, who was about to open his mouth to protest with a finger raised in the air, gulped and dropped his hands down to his sides and nodded with pursed lips.

The opening night to Mr. Bahng’s restaurant was a spectacle. What was planned as an intimate gathering turned into a media spectacle. Paparazzi flocked the entrance of the restaurant and bodyguards had to hold back the public as the handsome sons of Henry Sim, the founder of The Marine Foundation of Korea, walked the red carpet. Minor celebrities, a few actors and foreign entertainers attended the evening- some spotted the Jenner Sisters and others hollered at Jason Momoa and Leo DiCaprio. DiCaprio was an old friend of Henry’s- they met through ocean conservation funds and over the years, he had earned a permanent place on Henry’s invite list and vice-versa. Y/N had the pleasure of meeting him once, barely for a few minutes, for a hand shake and to be introduced as the aquarium’s manager and top researcher.

Y/N walked the red carpet with her arm looped with Jason’s, her free hand holding the hem of her sparkly dress in order not to trip in the ruckus. Her hand would occasionally come up to shield her eyes from the camera flashes and Jason had to repeatedly catch her frame because she was tripping on her heels. They were both dreading to see how the paparazzi pictures would turn out the next morning. Jake, on the other hand, walked confidently with a hand in his pocket and the other waving and blowing kisses at everyone. Photographers and netizens were gawking at the Australian engineer graduate, asking for pictures and photographs but ultimately being turned down. He was famously known on the internet for his looks, Prince Charming-like looks and mannerisms. His personality? It was a mystery to all those on the internet, further feeding into delusions of young fan-girls. It was only Jason and Henry that filmed for interviews for the world of marine-biology, often showing up on the news to promote The Marine Foundation of Korea or to talk about their next big break-through in marine sciences.

Henry and Mr. Bahng were the last to walk the carpet- they were the highlight of the event, after all. When they finally entered the restaurant, the glass doors were shut and bolted behind them, bodyguards taking their place in front of the premises like they were protecting The Sphinx. What was inside the restaurant might as well be as valuable as The Sphinx- there were barely any lights to illuminate the subtle interiors of the restaurant. Circular tables spanned the floor, glass windows towering the walls for the public to see inside if it weren’t for the black curtains. Everything else was painted black, too- the walls, the tables, the black marbled floors. The tank however… The tank glowed blue, just like the tanks in the aquarium. It spanned the entirety of one of the four walls in the restaurant. Schools of fish swam by, accompanied by Stingrays, Hammerhead and Leopard sharks. A lone Mola Mola swam by, its eye holding a vacant stare as it scanned the spans of the restaurant on the other side of the glass.

The showstopper, however, would only make its presence when Y/N finally made her way towards the exhibit. Her heels clicked against the black marble, one hand holding the hem of her dress and the other clutching her purse. The loose strands that fell from her hair up-do fanned her shoulders and just as her bangs bristled her eyes, the Whale Shark swam past the tank. It glided effortlessly across the water, its massive and speckled body moving with a hypnotic grace, throwing Y/N into a trance. She stood in awe, eyes scanning for when she could see it again, acting like she didn’t see Whale Sharks everyday in the aquarium. It was the ambiance of the restaurant that made the tank more mesmerising, if she had to be honest. She’d never seen anything like it.

Jake didn’t get a chance to admire the premises yet, sucked into meeting the guests and investors with his father and brother. When he found a chance to slip away, he made his way to the bar and ordered himself a double shot of whiskey. He promised himself that it would be his first and last drink, remembering his promise of behaving for the night. The last time his father brought him to a public gathering, which was almost two years ago, he almost set the venue on fire and broke a glass table. Scowling at the memories he dug up, he took a seat on a black stool at the bar, wandering his eyes around the guests and seeing men and women of power mingle in unexpected cliques. Finally, his gaze landed on the tank, the main attraction of the night, its hue misting the ambience and painting his skin in a sparkling blue. He admired it, watching the Whale Shark languidly make its way back and forth across the tank, sucker fish clinging onto its skin and a lone Leatherback Turtle following it.

Eventually, his eyes dragged towards the far corner of the restaurant where he found the back of Y/N’s silhouette. She, too, was admiring the tank. Gripping his glass of whiskey, he made his way towards her, a sly smile gracing his lips and the whites of his eyes twinkling brighter with the blue hue. As he walked closer, he could make out the familiar color of her dress that he spent the whole limo-ride staring at. It was a sparkly blue and silver dress, thin straps that barely held the dress up her bust. Her hair was put up in a messy bun, two hair pins with silver sea turtles holding it in place. Her earrings matched her hair pins and her heels matched the silver of her dress. The blue hue colored her skin and he swore he was looking at a still-life painting.

“Where’d you get the dress from?”

Y/N looked over her shoulder to catch Jake’s smirk that she learned to despise through Jason’s anecdotes. The smirk that led to his many one-night-stands, his smirk that led to all the decisions that made his father angry at him, the smirk that led to disasters was the same smirk that was walking towards her. Her serenity pulled into annoyance and Jake could see it in her eyes, her brows wrinkling and her lips sneered.

“Hey, I’m just playing nice,” he offered, trying his best to shrug and surrender his motivations. He took another sip of his whiskey, keeping his gaze fixed on her expression.

Y/N turned her body to face him and now, his eyes were wandering down her frame, staring at all the curves of her body that her dress showed off, just as he did in the limo. “It’s an old dress, I wear it a lot,” she admitted. Then, she knocked a nod towards the glass in his hand. “Let me guess, fifth drink of the night?”

“Come on, the night just started,” he rolled his eyes, the gnarly smirk refusing to leave his expression. “It’s my only drink of the night. Promised dad I’d behave, remember?”

“Right,” she swallowed. The hand that was holding the hem of her dress moved to clutch her purse, both her hands pressing into stomach. A water came around with a tray of appetizers, ironic that it was all seafood. Jake finished his drink and handed the empty glass to the waiter, taking two pieces of appetizers- one for him and one for Y/N.

Silence engulfed them as they stood side by side, both now facing the tank and staring at the creatures and coral spanning across her, the only sound being the loud swishes of the water and their chewing. Y/N was not staring to admire anymore; she was staring to distract herself from the awkward presence, to pass time in any way that she could.

“Aren’t you supposed to be socialising?” Y/N asked, hoping he’d realise and leave.

“I’d rather stare at this than socialise,” Jake said, both his hands digging into his trousers.

He wasn’t sure what stories his father and Jason fed Y/N about him for her to hold onto her negative impression of her. She probably thought he hated his family’s line of work, to read about water and the ocean beds and fish all day. In reality, he loved marine biology, he truly did. But he wasn’t going to apologize for not seeing it as his career. Jake still went to the aquarium of every city he would visit, spent time reading the articles and journals his father published and watched marine documentaries in his free time. He even had a small fish tank in his apartment back in Australia- he had two Firefish Goby and two Cardinalfish. He loved marine biology so much, he specialised in marine engineering. He wasn’t sure if Y/N knew that.

“Can I ask you a question?” Jake turned to her. She raised her brows in curiosity, coaxing him to continue. “Why this?”

“What?”

“I mean, why this?” He pointed at the fish tank just as the Whale Shark swam past them again. “Fish tanks, standing in one place, staring, the aquarium. Why, when you could have gone to bigger research centers like in Hawaii, or something?”

Jake almost regretted asking the question when he saw the expression on Y/N’s face turn solemn. She brought her bottom lip between her teeth, chewing as though she was chewing her brain to find him the answer to his question. Not so she could give it to him but because she wanted to give it to herself. Why? She asked herself that, too.

“I don’t know, Jake,” she sighed. “It seemed right at the time and… I guess, I just didn’t know? Who would pass up an opportunity to work with Henry Sim, you know? He chose me. And I’m not saying I regret it, I’ve found family in him and Jason but I ask myself why, too. I miss being out on the waters.”

Ignoring all that she said about his father and brother, knowing it would trigger him, he smirked at her again. He knew how she felt, it was the same thing Jason used to tell him a few years ago. As mesmerising as aquariums were, being out in the sea and seeing marine creatures in the wilderness is like cutting to a surgery intern. Jake had only gone on an ocean expedition once his whole life. His father took him during high school while he was applying for universities in hopes of changing his mind about his major. Jake remembered loving it, being enamored and lost in what the ocean had to offer, to witness its mystery with his own eyes. But unfortunately for his father, it still wasn’t enough to replace his love for engineering.

“I get it,” he assured her. “Don’t worry though. It won’t be this way for long.”

Before Y/N could ask what he meant, to make him elaborate, they heard Henry hollering their names from across the restaurant. He was waving their hand at them, Jason standing beside him sulking in boredom. Jake and Y/N speed-walked towards him, joining him at the table along with a scholar of jellyfish biology.

“Bahng is going to give his speech soon. Sit,” Henry told the pair.

Mr.Bahng’s speech went on for longer than most would like. He stood in the middle of the room with a drink raised in the air, thanking his family, friends and colleagues for making his dreams come true. His daughter stood beside him, trying to calm his influenced-state but it had all only turned into a comical predicament. Y/N caught Jake eyeing the daughter, knowing she must have been one of his old conquests. Most women she knew of her age who ran in the same circles were all probably one of Jake’s old conquests. She wasn’t going to shame these women, she understood the appeal- the wide smile, the sparkling eyes, the smooth hair and dashing facial features. However, she wouldn’t miss a chance to shame Jake, especially around Jason.

Sick and bored of it all, Jason signaled to Jake to grab a drink with him at the bar. As the pair stood up, leaving Y/N alone with Henry and the jellyfish scholar, Henry questioned the pair.

“No more drinks for Jake,” he warned.

“One more can’t hurt. I’m fine,” Jake defended himself, only to be met by an eye roll and a wave of his hand, telling them to go away and come back soon.

The brothers ordered whiskey for themselves. They’ve been told all the men in their family were whiskey enthusiasts. So is their father- apart from the phase he had when he was an angry drunkard, hammered with cheap beer and vodka most of the nights. Now that it had subsided, he was back to whiskey and that too, only rarely.

“Have you not told Y/N yet?” Jake asked his brother as they settled down onto the tall stools. By then, Mr. Bahng’s speech had ended and the room erupted in small talk again. Y/N’s ears were probably being ripped off by the jellyfish scholar but knowing her, she was definitely enjoying the conversation.

“Told her what?” Jason looked at him with utter confusion.

“The research team? Summer expedition?” Jake tried jogging his memory.

“Oh, right!” Jason nodded, sipping on his drink and hissing when an ice cube touched his teeth- it was a pet peeve he’s had since he was young, but he loved the taste of cold beverages. “We wanted to surprise her. Dad knows how much she’s been waiting for this so we’re gonna tell her on a better day.”

“Oh, God. I was on the verge of telling her,” Jake frowned.

“But she doesn’t suspect anything, right?”

“Nope, not a thing.”

“Crisis averted, then!” Jason assured him. “Dad and I are still figuring out how to tell her. Got any ideas?”

“She hates me, I’m sure she doesn’t want to hear any good news from me,” Jake chuckled.

“Y/N doesn’t hate you,” Jason Looked at him baffled and confused, mouth pulled upwards in surprise.

Jake scoffed. “Yes,” he said. “She does. And it’s because of the crap you and dad feed her.”

“Jake, she doesn’t hate you. I know when Y/N hates someone and she doesn’t hate you,” Jason chuckled. “She’s just a bit apprehensive of you and I don’t blame her. You’re a character-”

“Thanks, man-”

“And she takes time with certain people. To be fair, people like you aren’t her scene.”

“I’m not her scene? The fuck does that mean?” Jake laughed, finishing the last of his drink.

“Jake, you’re the drink and let’s party kinda person. She’s not. She likes peace and quiet and books and fancy sofas to sit on. She’s just quiet, dude. Give her time.”

“Yeah, fair enough,” Jake rolled his eyes.

Just then, Y/N found her way to Jason’s side, the click of her heels stopping at the stool beside him. She had an annoyed expression on her face, her eyes tired and almost lifeless. “Your dad’s calling. We’re going home,” she deadpanned and turned to walk away, the hem of her dress in one hand as her hips swayed with more vigour. She was sleepy and tired and if the limo didn’t drop her off at home, she was going to crash in Jason’s bed.

Sunlight danced across the crests, water stretching endlessly into a mosaic of light and motion. Gentle swells rolled beneath the research vessel while occasional whitecaps broke against the hull of the boat. Y/N lay stretched on the warmed deck, salty breeze tickling her stomach and bringing frizzy curls to her hair. Clad in a striped bikini, she left little to the imagination. It was an early morning for her, seagulls mulling over the Indian Ocean and skies still painted with a pink hue. Everyone on the team was still asleep and she took the opportunity to seize the morning.

The first person to wake up was Sunghoon, one of Jake’s friends, who happened to be an oceanographer and drone operator. He studied ocean currents and temperature changes and learned how to pilot drones in order to collect data on plankton blooms. Without him, the entire whale research expedition would be impossible. Sunghoon greeted Y/N with a drowsy smile, clad in only a pair of shorts himself, taking in the morning sunlight.

Following him was Jay, one of Jason’s friends, who was a cetologist and acoustic analyst. He was rubbing a towel against his wet hair, waving at Y/N who started to put on her shirt out of a slight insecurity that crept onto her cheeks. Behind him, Jason and Heeseung joined with plates of toasted bread and a carton of orange juice. Jason threw a piece of bread towards Y/N and she swiftly caught it, thanking him for breakfast.

Heeseung was known as a young prodigy in the field, perfecting his skills in steering and working as the boat captain and field technician. Jake, too, came aboard as a field technician- a marine engineer himself. In fact, If it weren’t for Jake, Henry Sim would probably have never agreed to this whale research expedition in the first place. Jake wanted to test out new equipment that was hitting the market and who better to test the equipment than The Marine Foundation of Korea? It took a lot of convincing and buttering up his father to convince, yet here he was, heading an entire project by himself with some of his closest friends. If Y/N had squinted hard enough at the predicament, this was basically a vacation for a bunch of fish nerds.

She sat on the deck with her legs brought to her chest, chewing on the soggy piece of bread and watching as Jake finally made his way towards the group of boys with a bowl of scrambled eggs in his hand. Vaguely, she could hear Sunghoon say, “your father must finally be proud of you,” and Jason circling back with a sarcastic comment. It made the group rumble with laughter and Y/N felt herself cracking a smile too.

It was probably around three months ago when Jason and Henry broke the news to her. She was coming back from having a measly lunch at a convenience store nearby and had entered Henry’s office to collect a few files. When she opened the door, Jason and Henry had been waiting for her with a cake in their hands and beaming smiles on their faces. “If you’d walked in any later, I would have started eating this thing without you,” Jason chuckled at her, pulling out a plastic knife from his pocket.

Y/N looked at the pair with confusion, eyes darting between the greeting brows of Henry and the grinning mouth of Jason. Then, her eyes fell towards the chocolate cheesecake they were holding, the word “Congratulations!” pipped on with melted chocolate. She recognised this cake. It was the same one they’d buy for every one of her birthdays she spent with them over the past five years. However, the absence of “Happy Birthday!” threw her off- also, the fact that it wasn’t her birthday.

“What is this for?” She asked, feeling as though this was almost a mistake. This cake was expensive and she almost felt guilty. “Guys, nothing’s happened,” she widened her eyes, shook her head and waved her hands in front of her to demonstrate no.

“What do you mean, Kkomaya?” Henry chuckled. “You’re gonna be part of a research team. That’s a huge thing to celebrate.”

“What?”

“Yeah.”

Jason handed her a piece of folded paper that was tucked away in his blazer. It read the details of a whale research expedition that would take place during the summer and span into autumn season. Y/N could barely skim through the details when her eyes landed on the plethora of signatures that filled the end of the paper. She recognised Henry, Jake and Jason’s signatures and some of a few government officials that signed off on the research expedition and agreed to fund for it. Right beside Jake’s signature was an empty dotted line, waiting for Y/N’s signature.

“You’re joking,” she gasped.

“Sign it so we can cut this cake and celebrate, Y/N. My hand’s getting sore,” Jason chuckled again.

“Oh, right. Sorry!”

What followed next was a string of excited screams, giggles and jumping around until Y/N finally signed the paper and threw herself into Henry and Jason to hug. Then, they cut the cake and each enjoyed a piece, the rest to be distributed amongst the employees of the aquarium in light of good news. A few moments later, Jake entered the room, coyly making his way towards Y/N to give her a handshake. Since the night of Mr. Bahng’s restaurant opening, the pair had developed a healthy rapport. He would visit the aquarium sometimes, bumping into Y/N in the process and making polite conversation. He made efforts to be a little more respectful towards her, packing away his cocky personality only in front of her. She once asked him why he was spending so much time in Korea, leaving his job in Australia and he responded aloofly. She got her answer now.

Now, it was the end of May and Y/N was on a research vessel with an unfamiliar group. Though she spent a week getting to know them before leaving for the expedition, seeing them interact on the deck, throwing around jokes like they’d known each other their whole lives… she wasn’t sure how to act that way. She felt like the odd one out, the loose end. Jake and Sunghoon were childhood friends; Jason and Jay were college friends and Heeseung was Mr. Bahng’s oldest son so Jake and Jason had known of him since they were kids. She’s met him a handful of times before, including the night of Mr. Bahng’s restaurant opening. But she didn’t know him like everyone else did.

“Y/N!” Jason waved for her to come over and she did, lifting herself off the lounging chair and walking towards them. It was their third day together on this vessel and she still wasn’t sure how to approach anyone when they were grouped together. She hated saying it, but she relied on Jason to include her when it came to the socialising side of her work. The practicality, however? She was splendid.

“Today’s the day we need to actually start working,” Heeseung said to her as she approached them. Jason made space between himself and Heeseung so she could stand in the circle with them. “It’s mostly Jay and Sunghoon that’s gotta do the work today, figuring out the equipment and all. Jake and I will help. You and Jason stay in stand by, for now. You can go on dives, get your practice on. Just be careful, make sure one of us is scouting…”

And Heeseung rambled on, eventually moving on to telling Jay and Sunghoon what their itinerary consisted of. Y/N’s eyes wandered off to the ocean, water spanning for miles on end, no land near site. They were in the middle of nowhere- well, not literally. They knew their coordinates. But if their equipment were to damage or if one fell overboard, they were as good as dead. It’s moments and opportunities like these marine biologists spend their lives working towards- what Y/N spent her days waiting for.

“So, that’s final?” Sunghoon started. “Jay and I will get the hydrophones, then?”

“Yep,” Heeseung clasped his hands together and everyone started dispersing, mumbling words of encouragement and affirmations, pumping their fists in the air or clapping to get their spirits up.

Before everyone had the chance to disappear and get their gear prepared, Jason stopped everyone and said, “should we make, like, a group chant sort of thing?”

“Yeah, that’s not happening, mate,” Jake pursed his lips and patted his brother on his chest. Y/N chuckled and the rest of them laughed while walking away to continue their work.

It took Jay and Sunghoon a total of four hours to deploy the five units of hydrophones, both floating and anchored. While diving, they would constantly resurface for air and call for Jake, yelling, “What kind of new technology is this, you twat, I prefer the old ones!” Their anger bubbled, frustrated at the fact that a two hour process was taking them double the time only because of the unfamiliarity. After their fourth complaint, Jake ended up diving with them to help.

Heeseung stayed with Jason and Y/N to help test and calibrate the hydrophones. While they sent test signals, Y/N cursed under her breath, too, telling Jason, “we could have just used the old equipment. This new shit Jake brought us is not user friendly.”

“People thought that about the iPhone but they love it now, don’t they?” Jason offered, hoping to reduce Y/N’s distaste. She could only respond by rolling her eyes.

By the time they were done, the sun had started setting and the divers barely ate food. The trio that stayed on the vessel cooked a heavy dinner with whatever ingredients they had, feeding the divers the second they freshened up. The group assembled on the deck, the same place they were huddling in the morning, with blankets wrapped around their shoulders to shield from the chilly breeze.

“Where’s Jason?” Jake looked around.

“He’s finishing with the final sample recordings. He’ll be up in a bit,” Y/N assured.

Jason came back with six chairs, one for everyone to sit on as they debriefed for the night. Warm water was passed around as conversation fluidly changed from work to personal history. The stars were shining unfamiliarly, a sight Y/N couldn’t get in the city anymore. She was reminded of her father who used to point to the constellations and tell her their names. As a kid, she knew most of them by heart. Now, she was unable to recognise most of the constellations, only being able to pick out a few.

“Add in a bonfire and the night would be perfect,” Jay sighed, shivering as he hugged his blanket tighter.

“Oh, we used to go camping a lot in college,” Jason mused. “Those were the times, man. Young and alive.”

“I’d say you’re living it up right now as well, bro,” Heeseung laughed, referring to their boat that was in the middle of the ocean, whale watching and diving as a part of their job description and getting paid above average.

“True,” Jason scratched the nape of his neck in embarrassment. Jake further made fun of Jason and Sunghoon joined in, throwing pieces of crumpled paper from their notebooks at him.

“Look at the stars, guys,” Heeseung directed everyone’s gaze towards the sky. “You don't have nights like these in the city anymore.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” Y/N nodded. “Gotta take it all in before we leave.”

“We’ve got three months for that, don’t worry,” Sunghoon assured.

“Hey, Y/N, wasn’t your dad an astronomer?” Jason clocked his head. “He used to teach you when you were a kid, where each constellation was?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“You told me, like, a really long time ago.”

“Your dad did physics in college? That’s so cool,” Jake pipped, sitting at the edge of his chair and directing his excited smile at her. He’s always had a habit of becoming excited at the mention of physics and math- the entire reason he went into engineering.

“Do you still remember some of the constellations?” When Heeseung asked, Y/N nodded. “Do tell us,” he encouraged.

Bringing her bottom lip between her teeth, she looked up and squinted her eyes to see if anything looked familiar. “Do you guys see the diamond shape?” She heard everyone confirm with a hum. “That’s The Corvus or The Crow. Dad used to say that the crow was a messenger from the sea.”

”Wah,” she heard Jason and Jay exclaiming as she continued searching.

“Do you see a teapot, perchance? Right there,” Y/N attempted to show them its correct location by pointing and once again, she was met with a group of hums. “That’s The Sagittarius. It contains the center of the Milky Way.”

”Wait, I’ve heard about this,” Jake snapped his fingers, trying to jog his memory. “Didn’t sailors use it to locate the galactic core or something?”

”You’re right, I’m surprised you knew that,” Y/N smirked and tried finding another constellation.

In the background, Sunghoon pondered aloud on what it would be like if he could name a constellation after himself and it brought the group into a laughing fit. Jake, though he laughed with them, kept his gaze on Y/N, admiring the way her nose tilted upwards and gaze reflected the starry sky. Jake, who once picked up a book on astronomy out of sheer curiosity and gave up on reading it due to its lack of logic and mechanics, found himself leering as she explained the stars to everyone.

“Do you guys see the red star? That’s Antares, the heart of The Scorpion,” she explained.

”Wow,” Sunghoon started and snapped towards Jake as though he had a revelation. “Wait, isn’t that your constellation? You’re a Scorpio, right?”

”Yeah, how’d you know?”

”I’ve known you your whole life, asshole. Don’t tell me you don’t know my zodiac.”

”I do, I do!”

”What is it?”

”Sagittarius! I thought about it when Y/N pointed it out, I swear!”

Then started the narration of Jake and Sunghoon becoming friends. Jake’s mother, Vivian, moved into the street that Sunghoon’s parents, Daniel and Emily Park, lived in. Both couples were newly weds, just getting back from their honeymoon. Vivian had already been pregnant with Jason at the time and because her and Emily grew close, she was there the day Jason was born. When their husbands were off to work, Emily would often spend her time with Vivian, taking care of her and Jason. Around a year later, Vivian fell pregnant again and Emily announced her pregnancy exactly a month later.

The two mothers spent all their time together thereafter, going to the hospital for check ups together and supporting each other through pregnancy yoga exercises. With each other's support, they didn’t worry about their husbands working overtime. They even hired a nanny together, shifting between houses to help with household work and with Jason, who was still too young to understand his surroundings at the time.

Jake and Sunghoon were born a month apart, Jake being the older one. Emily was in the hospital while Vivian gave birth and vice versa. Henry and Daniel were in wonder of their friendship- it was like it was out of the movies, utopian for the society they lived in today. It was a good thing the two families found each other in this dog-eat-dog world.

Jake and Sunghoon went to the same schools, same clubs and festered the same hobbies so they could do everything together. Their mothers used to joke that they’d end up falling for the same girl one day. “And what would you do if that ever happened?” Emily used to ask Sunghoon and he would respond with, “boy code- I’ll stay away from her if he likes her and I know he’d do the same for me.” In fact, he did and when a similar situation arose in middle school, neither of them got the girl because they valued their friendship more.

Around the time Jake and Sunghoon were old enough to perceive and build on their imaginations, they started pulling pranks on Jason. It was the nasty ones- like, putting saran wrap on the toilet seat or sticking gnarly notes on his bag before he left for school. Once, they rolled a skateboard into him while he was walking into his bedroom and he fell face first into the floor, breaking his nose and costing his parents an emergency trip to the hospital. Jason and Jake didn’t speak for a full month after that incident.

When Jake and Sunghoon turned sixteen, the Park family started talking about relocating to China. Daniel had better job prospects and he was convinced that his children, Sunghoon and Yeji who were four years apart, would receive better education. “And international exposure is always good for a child,” he’d tell Emily. Sunghoon would argue that he wouldn’t leave the country until college and Yeji would cry about not wanting to leave her friends.

It was around this time that Henry opened The Marine Foundation of Korea and started earning more. Their family moved to a more expensive neighbourhood but that didn’t stop Jake and Sunghoon from spending most of their time together. In fact, when Henry had gone on his drinking spree due to the lawsuits and backlash, Jake would run off to Sunghoon’s house, leaving his poor mother and brother to deal with his scary father. When it came time to decide upon college and careers, Sunghoon sat through arguments with Henry to allow Jake to pursue his passions in engineering.

When Jake and Sunghoon started senior year in high school, Vivian was diagnosed with uterine cancer- stage four. That year was filled with tragedy and character change from Henry. Though they spent a fortune on hospital bills, Vivian’s health rapidly declined. The two families started accepting the fate that was to come and Vivian came to an honorable death. What made the children’s period of grief insufferable was that the tabloids had picked up the event and started bombarding the Sim family with unrelated questions. It made Jake want to run away.

Around that time, Sunghoon’s family did end up relocating to Taiwan where Sunghoon pursued marine biology (being truly inspired by Henry’s work) and Yeji continued her high school education. Jake flew off to Australia to pursue engineering, despite his father’s wishes, and estranged himself from his family. For over a year, Henry and Jason only got updates about Jake from Sunghoon. Eventually, though, the three made peace.

It had been almost a decade since Vivian passed away and over three years since Jake and Sunghoon completed post graduation from living across the world from each other, yet their friendship still ran strong. They called and texted each other religiously, making sure their friendship lived on through whatever they were doing in life. Being on this research expedition was like a dream for the pair- everything had somehow worked out perfectly.

“Do you miss your mom?” Heeseung found himself asking the Sim brothers.

“Yeah, of course,” Jake shrugged and slumped further into his chair. Sunghoon reached over to comfortingly pat his knee and he cracked him a smile.

“I miss her all the time,” Jason said. “I’d like to think she’s in a better place.”

A long time ago, when Jason first told Y/N about how his mother passed away, she noticed that there was never an air of solemness or pity when he spoke about her. It was tragic and unfortunate, but Jason never let that reflect in himself. He always spoke about his mother with confidence or a smile on his face, celebrating her existence as a smart woman and amazing mother. He never let anyone show him pity about the fact that he lost his mother too young. He simply chose to idolise her, keep her alive through his happiness and through his achievements. She realised, after narrating basically his whole childhood, that Jake was the same. When he spoke about his mother, he didn’t let his voice cloud with pity and he described her with love and adoration.

“Isn’t it lucky that you ended up doing marine engineering?” Sunghoon said to Jake.

“I love engineering but I do love the ocean, too. Shit’s in my blood- dad shat on me for no reason,” Jake rolled his eyes and Jason threw back a piece of crumpled paper at him. Annoyed, Jake bounced his leg up and down. “You know what we forgot to mention?”

“What?” Sunghoon asked.

“Do you remember when Yeji had the biggest crush on Jason?”

With that, Sunghoon let out the biggest groan and threw his head back, hiding his face under his hands. Jason leaped at the memory while Heeseung, Jay and Y/N begged Sunghoon to show them a picture of his sister. Jake started scrolling through his phone to see if he could find any.

“What do you say, Jason?” Jake wiggled his eyebrows at his brother.

“Dude, grow up,” Jason rolled his eyes. “She was a kid.”

“Not anymore! Isn’t she, like, working right now, Sunghoon?” Jake teased.

“I’ll actually kill you,” Sunghoon deadpanned.

“I think they’d make a great couple, though!”

“Dear lord, not this again,” Jason groaned. “The four of us talk all the time, we literally have a group chat. Stop making it weird.”

From what Y/N could gather, this seemed like a conversation the three had frequently. Jake would mention the pairing of Jason and Yeji and Jason and Sunghoon would get riled up and throw a fit. Jake would then continue to list down the reasons as to why should start dating for the millionth time and the other two would turn him down for the millionth time. After seeing a picture of Yeji, she understood why Jake said they would make a great pair.

The first time Y/N saw Jason and Jake side by side, she told them that they looked nothing alike. And they truly didn’t- everyone would always be surprised when they told them they were siblings, only one year apart. Jake had stronger features, a sharper nose, defined jawline, almond eyes, thick lips and curtain-like hair. Jason, however, had lighter features with a button nose, round eyes, fluffy hair and puppy-like lips. They were both handsome, there was nothing to deny, just in polar different ways.

“I think this is a sign for us to sleep guys, It’s gonna be early morning for all of us from here on,” Jason announced and was the first to get up.

Everyone followed him to the sleeping pods, six beds fitted to the walls like bunk beds. If they stared hard enough, the room almost looked like a jail-cell but none of them really took it to heart. They wouldn’t be spending much time there anyway. Y/N slept in the bed above Jason’s and Jake slept opposite to her. That night, she found herself drifting off to sleep while desperately trying to focus on his features, the softness of his expression as he slept.

“This is our first drone test,” Heeseung announced and Sunghoon planted himself beside him with the drone and controller in hand. It had almost been a week since they deployed the hydrophones and it took them a week to perfect how to use them. Improvements were going slower than expected but a majority of the reason for this expedition was to test the new equipment so they learned to not complain as much. Finally, they decided to move on to the next piece of equipment, the drone, that Sunghoon was going to manoeuvre.

“Are we ready?” Sunghoon called. Everyone answered with a hum, dressed in scuba gear in case they needed to dive at the spotting of any whale, they told themselves. In the few days that they were at sea, they found it concerning that they spotted everything but a whale. “Alright, let’s go, then!”

Everyone watched with curiosity, intent and awe as the drone lifted higher into the sky, becoming a speckle of dust to their eyes as Sunghoon controlled it with grace. Jason monitored its camera through his laptop, paying close attention to anything that it could capture. They all stood around watching the screen for around ten minutes, Sunghoon still standing at the edge of the doc as he controlled the drone.

When the fifteenth minute came around, everyone started to lose hope, dispersing to do their respective work with grumbles and sighs. The twentieth minute came around and Jake asked Sunghoon if the new version of the drone was better than the hydrophones. He confirmed with a nod, his lips slightly parted as he concentrated his fingers on the controller and his eyes towards the sky where he could still see the drone. Bored, Jason and Y/N started playing thumb wars and Heeseung and Jay started discussing what the next day’s itinerary would be- Sunghoon let out a gasp.

“Guys, look!”

Everyone ran towards the laptop screen and vaguely, they could see the outline of a large fish, slowly gliding through the ocean currents, around twenty feet away from them. It wasn’t blue- a deep brown and grey, rather. It could have easily been a Bryde’s Whale. At this realisation, everyone elated and Jason ran to check if the hydrophones were picking up any sounds or echoes.

“I’ve got nothing,” Jason shook his head.

”What do you mean? Let me check,” Jay took over and after a few seconds of listening, he too concluded the same thing. “Are you sure the hydrophones aren’t glitching again?” He asked Jake.

“No, I’m sure,” Jake assured.

”Guys, it’s not too far from us. You can go check it out,” Sunghoon hollered to everyone, noticing that the silhouette was moving closer and closer towards the vessel.

Within the next ten minutes, Jay, Jason, Jake and Y/N were diving headfirst into the water. The rush of the ocean engulfed Y/N, the cold making her realise that this was her first time diving in the ocean since her semester on sea during college. The past few years, she’d kept in touch by diving in swimming pools and facilities but this… the real thing was always better.

Bubbles streamed past their bodies as they tried cutting through the water, their goggles making everything hazy as they got used to the pressure. At a distance, they could see the silhouette of what they hoped to be a Bryde’s Whale. Sunghoon and Heeseung kept an eye on them through the video the drone was transmissioning.

For a breathless moment, a moment where they all hoped that it was a whale they were finally seeing, they truly believed that they were in luck. However, as they swam closer to the giant body, theyr recognised its gaping mouth, unhurried movements and pointy fins as something else. For a moment, another breathless moment, they were disappointed, weight filling their chest in a way the ocean’s pressure couldn’t crush them. But seconds later, they decided to enjoy their discovery- Y/N, especially. It was fleeting, barely a few seconds, but it felt like something unspoken passed between them in that shared moment.

“Guys, it’s a Basking Shark,” Y/N said. “Heeseung? Sunghoon? Can you hear me?”

“It’s a Basking Shark, alright,” Jay said, his voice crackling through the earphones before Y/N could receive his words.

“You know the rules, guys. No touching, only looking,” Jason reminded them.

The group of four stopped swimming, floating in the blue abyss and watching the Basking Shark’s movements. It opened its mouth to inhale water- its way of catching food. It stayed open that way, allowing them to get a full view of its insides. White and dark stripes disappearing into its stomach. Slowly, slowly, second by second, the shark swam their direction, as calm as the wind and ocean before a storm. The divers moved to stand out of its way as it swam past them.

“How many feet do you think it is?” Jake asked.

“This is a big one,” Jay said. “I think 30, maybe 33 feet.”

Y/N knew the answer to this question. Normally, she would be the first person leap at answering. But she was too enamoured by the creature as it swam between them, momentarily making her lose sight of Jay and Jason who were on the other side. She could still see the bubbles floating upwards from their breathing. In a moment of poor judgement, she let her fingers raise to inch closer to the fit on the shark, eyes sparkling with eagerness and anticipation. What would it feel like? What would she feel?

As her fingers reached out, inches away from the shark’s rough skin, she felt a hand wrap around her wrist. Startled, she swung her head around to find Jake’s eyes staring daggers at her. Through his mask, she saw him shaking his head. They hovered that way, his hand on her wrist, eyes moving away from each other and towards the shark, watching it drift away from them and the vessel.

The group made their way back to surface, hearts beating with exhilaration. Sunghoon and Heeseung stretched out their arms to help everyone up, fighting the heaviness of the water. “That was amazing,” Jay enthralled as he ripped his mask off.

The other three settled on the deck, backs slumping onto the railings of the vessel as they heaved to catch their breaths. Their masks were thrown beside them and their wetsuits slipped down their torsos. Jake ran his hands through his hair, trying to restyle its shape; Jason forced himself to stand up so he could make his way to the shower; Y/N sat there, unmoving, staring at her bare hands like she’d just woken up from an unbelievable dream. Then, she lifted her head to look at her surroundings, meeting her gaze with Jake as her head turned. He cracked a smile at her and she turned away, embarrassed.

Nine days. It had been nine days since the Basking Shark incident and they were nowhere close to seeing a whale- Blue Whale, Humpback Whale, Sperm Whale… nothing. There was a moment where Jay was convinced he’d picked up the sounds of whales singing but the noise ended up being interference from debris. However, it wasn’t to say that nothing good came out of the past empty days.

The equipment they were testing had come around wonderfully. Everyone, with due time and patience from Jake, started learning how to use the technology and were on their way to perfecting the techniques. One day, a curious Green Sea Turtle surfaced next to the vessel and stared at them for a full minute before diving away. While hauling one of their retrieval baskets, they realised they'd caught an Isopod and it made Heeseung recoil in horror due to its eerie similarity to cockroaches- that day, they found out Heeseung had a huge phobia of insects. Y/N caught a glimpse of a pod of flying fish through her binoculars. Jake caught a glimpse of a Thresher Shark while everyone else was in the lab and he had headed up for some fresh air.

Sunghoon seemed to be some sort of octopus whisperer. A few days ago, he’d spotted a tiny translucent octopus stuck to the side of the vessel and he stretched himself to reach it. It was small enough to fit on his pinky and wrap its tentacles to cover his fingerprint. It was almost transparent, apart from specks of pigment that floated in its body like dust. Its body pulsed softly in his hand, delicate tentacles fanning out onto his palm to test the surface. Then, he slowly lowered it back to the water. On one of their dives, Sunghoon spotted a Blanket Octopus, a rare sighting that would get the media riled up when the footage was released, and he swam after it until he was too far from the vessel.

That morning, Jay woke up to the sight of a pod of dolphins swimming past the vessel, jumping into the air to create dark outlines onto the orange and pink sky. The rhythmic splash of their bodies against the water seemed to stir the rest of the crew from their sluggish morning routines. One by one, they emerged onto the deck—first Jason, then Heeseung and Sunghoon, followed by Y/N and Jake. The usual grumbles of early wake-ups were quickly replaced by soft gasps and murmured excitement as they took in the sight before them.

“That’s what I call a wake-up call,” Y/N gasped.

“Maybe that’s a sign of luck, guys,” Jay offered. “We should do something tonight.”

“Like what?” Sunghoon asks.

Jay perked up. “Like a night dive?”

Sunghoon, who had been taking a sip of water, nearly choked. “Diving?” He coughed. “At night?”

“Why not? We’ve been out here for weeks, and we haven’t done one yet,” Jay reasoned. “The bioluminescence, the different marine life—it’d be an entirely new experience.”

Jason nodded in agreement. “Plus, it’ll be a good change of pace. We’ve been so focused on the whales that we haven’t really taken in everything else around us.”

Heeseung, ever the cautious one, sighed. “You do realize diving at night is way riskier, right? Low visibility, stronger currents—”

“We’ll take precautions,” Jay cut in. “We’ve got the lights, safety lines, and we won’t go too far from the vessel. It’s a controlled dive, not some reckless plunge.”

A moment of silence passed as Heeseung weighed the risks, scanning the eager faces around him. Finally, he exhaled through his nose and shook his head. “Fine. But if anything even remotely goes wrong, we call it and get out. No heroics.”

A round of nods and murmured agreements followed.

“Then it’s settled,” Jay grinned. “Tonight, we dive.”

Excitement buzzed like static as the sun dipped below the horizon. The group prepared for their night dive with thick dive suits and dive computers strapped to their wrists. Jason, ever meticulous, went through each regulator one by one, testing for air flow. "If your regulator sputters, switch to your alternate immediately and signal me," he reminded the group.

Sunghoon handed out waterproof dive torches while Jay and Heeseung secured backup glow sticks to their vests, just in case their primary lights failed. “If it gets too dark, stick close and don’t panic,” Jay advised. “This is a controlled dive, no one goes deeper than 30 meters. Stay within sight of your buddy at all times. If anyone gets separated, stop where you are, shine your light upwards, and wait for us to find you. Do not ascend alone unless it’s an emergency.”

Jay paired with Jason, Sunghoon paired with Heeseung and, like fate had it, Y/N paired with Jake.

Slowly, they approached the edge of the deck, staring down at the ink-black water, the reflection of the stars rippled into infinite nothingness and for a moment, just for a moment, they felt themselves regretting their decision, letting fear conquer their senses. Sunghoon looked at Heeseung, panic and fear glistening against his eyes. Jake, catching his expression from the other end, assured him with a thumb raised in the air and adjusted his mask.

“We got this, guys,” Jake announced, trying to lift everyone’s spirits. “It’s gonna be an experience of a lifetime.”

As the words left his lips, Y/N’s gaze lifted to meet his through the hazy plastic of her mask, her lashes fluttering as hesitation creased her brow. Even through the dim glow of their dive lights, she could see the warmth in his eyes, the way his expression softened—like he was seeing only her in the vastness of the ocean. Then, as if drawn by an unspoken pull, his fingers brushed against her wrist before slipping lower, finding her hand with effortless ease. Slowly, deliberately, he wove his fingers through hers, his grip gentle yet certain. Her breath hitched as she glanced down at their hands—at the way they fit, tethered in the silent depths—before letting her gaze drift back up to him. He wasn’t looking away. He held her there, in the weightless moment suspended between them.

“Just stick with me, yeah?” He whispered to her. “I promise it’ll be the best time of your life.”

“Alright, everyone,” Jay hollered. “Everyone dive in three… two… one.”

What followed were a sequence of splashes and bubbles rising to the surface of the water due to the impact. The first thing they saw was blackness, their eyes still adjusting to the minimal light of their flashlights. As they splashed around, disturbing the calmness of the water, they saw specks of blue- little emeralds glistening at their friction.

“It’s plankton,” Y/N squealed. “It’s bioluminescence!”

“Can’t get better than this, huh?” Jake squeezed her hand, tuning out the excitement everyone else was emulating.

“This is unreal,” Heeseung moved his hand to trigger another spark of bioluminescence, mesmerized by the living light show.

As they descended further, with patience and caution, they saw the silver body of a Barracuda flash by. Startled, Y/N moved closer to Jake, wrapping her wrist around his bicep. Jason, Jay, Heeseung and Sunghoon had moved deeper and the pair followed, eyes spotting clusters of coral reefs with their blooming polyps. From the reef emerged a biofluorescent Hawksbill Sea Turtle, snapping its mouth open and closed in hopes of finding prey. It moved languidly through the water, ignorant of the divers coming closer to it.

“Didn’t think we’d see this today,” Jason said. “Biofluorescence is common in corals and sharks but it’s only been seen in turtles around 2015. Take it in, everyone.”

As everyone tried keeping their eyes on the turtle, already on the verge of leaving their sight, Jay signals everyone to look towards a rocky outcrop. A flash of pale white flickering into deep brown and they hover in place, watching as a cuttlefish pulsated with shifting hues, blending seamlessly into the seafloor before striking at an unsuspecting shrimp. Just a few feet away, a small octopus stretched its arms along the coral, its skin rippling from sand-colored to a deep maroon as it crept toward its prey.

Y/N, captivated, gestured excitedly at the display, her bubbles rising in bursts. Jake caught her expression and grinned behind his mask, watching as she pressed closer to the scene, eyes wide with childlike wonder. Sunghoon, playing the photographer, raised the underwater camera to capture the display of nature’s most skilled shapeshifters. When the creatures finally retreated into the shadows, the group exchanged excited looks before continuing their dive.

As they moved deeper, the ocean’s silence felt heavier, interrupted only by the sound of their own breathing. It felt like they were in a sharksploitation film, the Jaws background music being the only thing missing. As though Y/N’s thoughts were being read, Jason, who had been slightly ahead, froze and pointed his light downward in a startled haze.

Whatever it was that caught Jason’s attention, it was huge and left a trail of bioluminescence in its wake. They could feel it looming just beyond the reach of their lights. A ripple of tension passed between the group as an immense shadow suspended in the water. No one moved- they were sure not one of them was breathing.

Jay’s fingers curled around his dive knife out of instinct, his heartbeat pounding in his ears. Heeseung, usually calm, hovered frozen in place, his eyes darting between the dark shape and Sunghoon, who was holding onto his camera for dear life. Jake exhaled slowly, bubbles escaping in a steady stream as he tried to make sense of what they were seeing, Y/N clinging to his arm to comfort herself. Steadily, Jason tightened his grip on his flashlight and angled the beam forward. The light cut through the darkness, catching the edge of something vast and smooth. The shape shifted, its outline rippling like a ghost emerging from the abyss.

It was a Manta Ray.

At the realisation, their muscles loosened and Jay kept his dive knife away. They watched it swarm past them, its wings stretching impossibly wide. Just like a ghost, it glided through the water like it owned the place, its pale underbelly flashing in the light. It moved like a specter, unbothered by their presence, its cephalic fins unfurling like delicate ribbons as it turned. With the added effects of the blue bioluminescence, it felt like they were watching a dream. Y/N say them all the time in the aquarium but to see them alive, gliding in their natural habitat, was a different kind of sight.

“How big do you think that is?” Jay murmured.

“Five meters?” Y/N answered. “Easily six… she’s huge.”

Jake felt Y/N’s grip on his arm loosen and like instinct, he turned towards her in. He was met with the sight of her in awe, watching the Manta Ray disappear into the void. As they hovered in awe, Heeseung was the first to react. He gestured frantically, his flashlight beam cutting through the water and landing on something just below them. His wide eyes and rapid pointing sent a jolt of confusion through the group. Jay followed the direction of Heeseung’s light, angling his own beam downward.

A Vampire Squid.

It wasn’t supposed to be here. These creatures lived far deeper, in oxygen-minimum zones, not a mere 20 meters below the surface. Yet there it was, its deep crimson body illuminated in their lights, its webbed arms curling inward as it drifted.

Jason exhaled a string of bubbles, exchanging a stunned glance with Jay. Y/N's mind raced—was it sick? Disoriented? Had something forced it to the surface?

Before they could react, the squid suddenly pulsed its body, releasing a shimmering cloud of bioluminescent mucus—a defense mechanism against predators. Tiny blue specks scattered around it like an underwater firework before the creature vanished into the blackness.

The team remained frozen, the eerie afterglow of the squid's defense lingering in the water.

“What the hell was that doing up here?” Jason finally asked through their comms. No one had an answer.

“I’m not getting a good feeling from this,” Heeseung announced. “We’ve seen plenty. I think it’s time to go.”

With steady nods and eager movements, they swam back toward the vessel, an unspoken unease settled between them. A buzz of confusion filled their dialogue when they broke the water and fatigue settled into their bodies. Some looked back at the Manta Ray and awed, others still concerned about why they saw a Vampire Squid so far up the surface, questioning if they should be worried. Jason theorised that it was probably nearing its life-cycle; from what he could see in the passing moments, it looked quite old.

In practiced silence, they stripped off their gear. Masks clattered onto the deck. Wetsuits peeled away with sluggish motions. Someone yawned. One by one, they disappeared below deck—some for a quick shower, others just to sit and breathe.

Y/N, clad in her bikini and a flimsy shirt, found herself sitting on the edge of the deck, her bare feet skimming the water. Each ripple sent a flicker of blue light swirling around her toes—the bioluminescence responding to her every movement. She could hear the guys deep in a conversation on the other side of the deck, discussing the next morning’s regime. She didn't listen in. She just watched the reflection of the stars, absentmindedly swirling her foot through the water, watching the glow chase her movements.

Then, footsteps. She didn’t have to look to know who it was. The air around them shifted as Jake settled beside her, resting his forearms on his knees. For a moment, neither of them spoke, just watching the light dance beneath them. She could see him pouting from the corner of her eyes, a habit she noticed in him before they even started the research expedition.

“Dinner?” She asked, not breaking her gaze away from whatever was in front of her.

He turned to look at her, damp hair falling in front of his forehead. “Yeah, yeah,” he nodded.

“Hey, I have a question,” Y/N found herself chuckling before she could ask him. Slowly, she turned to look at her, shifting her position so that she could lean back on the palms of her hands. “Heeseung doesn’t know you hooked up with his little sister, does he?”

At the question, Jake found himself cackling, too. “What?” He laughed. “No way,” he shook his head. “I think he’d murder me.”

“Yeah, he definitely would,” Y/N agreed. Then, she let a moment of silence pass between them, mustering up the courage to ask him her next question. “What is it about hookups with you, anyway? Just… why so many?”

“Is that who you think of me as?” Jake’s chuckle never left, his eyes widening as he continued. “We just came back from that… interesting dive and you wanna talk about this?”

“It was a bit scary,” she admitted. “I loved it, but I don’t wanna think about it until tomorrow.”

“Fair, fair. Alright, I’ll indulge you,” Jake bit his lip- another one of his many habits- and allowed his gaze to meet hers.

In that moment, in a fleeting split second, the wall that Jake built to keep caution around her had crumbled. All these months, Jake spent trying to be respectful around her, walking on eggshells to try and gain her respect. And somewhere along the way, she started looking at him like he was his own person- not the annoying little brother Jason complained about and not the disappointing son Henry seethed about. She could see the effort he put in, not only for his work or his family, but also for her. She wasn’t sure why. She almost missed his cocky demeanour.

“I don’t know why you’re so against it-”

“I’m not against it,” Y/N defended. “I’m just not that kind of person.”

“Right,” he breathed. “But I guess… well, I suppose I should begin from where it all started,” at that, Y/N chuckled and nodded to coax him to continue. “So, it was the second semester at college and as usual, I was at some house party. By this time, I’d lost my virginity in high school and everything, right? But I hadn’t really slept with anyone in college. So that night, I met this girl- really pretty, really flirty-”

“And you slept together.”

“And we slept together,” he said. “And me, being the fool I was,” Y/N continued laughing, finding his narrative style quite comical. “Thought that maybe she wanted me to call her the next morning. But apparently she didn’t want that. And nineteen year old Jake was heart broken-”

“And he started going to the gym, came out a cocky ass and started sleeping with everyone because some random girl broke his heart-”

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t make fun of me,” Jake nudged her side, leading her to continue laughing. Her eyes struggled to stay open and her smile refused to die. Jake bathed in her joy. “And to be fair, I started going to the gym in high school,” he pointed a finger at her.

“Yeah, okay, whatever,” she grinned and rolled her eyes.

“But, yeah, anyways,” he continued. “I was hurt by it, obviously. And then I told my friends about it and they were all assholes, by the way. Not the kind you want to have long term relationships with. But, yeah, I told them and they kinda brainwashed me into thinking that I got lucky that this was a no strings attached thing. And to be honest, a few days later, I kinda liked the whole idea, too, I guess? And the party I went to after that- hooked up with another girl. And I guess, the cycle just continued.”

Y/N blinked at him for a second, bringing her bottom lip between her teeth. “No one gets hurt?”

“No one gets hurt,” he assured with a shake of his head.

“How would you know, though?” She asked. “The girl in the context- what if-”

“You just kind of know,” he breathed. “You always kinda know. It’s like a sixth sense… only hook up with people you’re sure who want the same things as you. But don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I don’t ever want to settle down. I mean- I’m pushing thirty. It’s just that… I don’t think I’ve found anyone yet.”

Y/N hummed. “The sex is that good?”

Jake’s grin returned, this time a little mischievous, dangerous. His eyes had a sparkle in them, his pointy teeth peeking behind his smile. “Y/N, the sex…” he rumbled, voice low and breath fanning against her ear. He leaned closer to her. “You wouldn’t believe it.”

Y/N gulped.

Assuming his previous position, his grin still plastered on him, he looked her up and down, taking in the tips of her toes that were still touching the water and running his gaze back to her eyes. Perhaps he was being delusional, clouded by the conversation they were having, but he was sure he saw the spark in her- the spark that manifested through her hooded eyes and flushed cheeks. He could see her squeeze her legs together, nails digging into her palms as she chewed her bottom lip. Her gaze stayed on his hands- his hands that were pulsating with his veins, fingers long enough to wrap her around him.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never-”

“No, I have- Jake, I’m pushing thirty, too,” she rolled her eyes, shaking herself out of her daze. A cool wind breezed past them and she could feel her nippled perking through her shirt- she was sure Jake had noticed. “Dated this guy a couple years ago. I met him as a customer in the aquarium, actually. We dated for, like, a year. The sex was good. Jason hated him, though. Said he acted like a frat boy and looking back, I guess he kinda did.”

Watching her shrug and look away, he licked his lips. His breath was near her neck now, his presence ghosting against hers. “Y/N, you deserve better than good sex- whatever that was.”

“And you’re some expert on sex?” She teased.

They didn’t know when the air between them had changed.

Maybe it had started in that moment- when the world was nothing but rolling waves and flickering bioluminescence. Maybe it had started long before that, slipping in between stolen glances across the vessel, lingering eye contact that lasted just a second too long, and quiet moments between chaos that neither of them dared to name.

They’d be lying if they said there was absolutely no tension building between them over the past few weeks. It had been there, simmering just beneath the surface, waiting.

It was in the way he always seemed to be nearby—not in an obvious way, but in a way that made it impossible for Y/N to ignore. If she was adjusting equipment, Jake was there, his arm brushing against hers as he reached for something. If she was rinsing off after a dive, he’d pass by, running a towel through his hair, his skin damp and glistening with seawater. It was the way she felt his presence before she even saw him.

It was the way their bodies gravitated toward each other—shoulders bumping when they worked side by side, fingers grazing when they passed tools back and forth. The way she’d instinctively reached for him during dives, her hand wrapping around his forearm in the darkness, trusting his steadiness as they maneuvered through the water. It was the way he never pulled away.

Maybe it was the way his eyes lingered on her lips when she spoke, or the way she caught herself staring at his hands—the way they moved, the way they curled into fists when he was frustrated, the way they rested so naturally on his neck when he was deep in thought.

It was everything.

Slowly, silently, inevitably, it had been building up to this moment.

Jake found himself hoisting himself back on his feet, rubbing his hands against his thighs to brush off any dust. “I’m gonna try sleeping,” he said, ignoring the laughter that the rest of the boys started filling in the air. Yet, he didn’t move, eyes fixated on her and the way she seemed to curl further into herself. He waited for her to say something- anything that gave him a hint on what was to come next.

“Okay,” she said, finding herself getting back on her feet as well. “I’m gonna sleep, too.”

“Okay.”

The pair stared at each other for a brief second, his eyes darting between her features and hers fixated on his eyes. The air between them was charged with something neither of them dared to put into words. It was a quiet understanding, an unspoken decision made in the space of a breath. Then, with a nod, Jake led her back to the sleeping pods. They moved quickly, their strides quick and deliberate, as if slowing down would give them time to second-guess. Jake barely spared a glance at the others—Heeseung and Sunghoon talking near the railings, Jason and Jay checking something on the equipment—he breezed past them like they didn’t exist.

By the time they reached the sleeping pods, her heart was hammering against her ribs. She watched as Jake stripped off his shirt, catching her widened eyes of shock and explaining to her that he always slept this way. And she watched as he climbed onto his bed, running his hands through his hair and clenching his jaw from what she assumed was frustration. Then finally, finally, after pretending like they weren’t there for a purpose, he looked at her. He looked at her with conviction, slender eyes coaxing her and lips begging for her.

“Y/N…” his exhale spelt out her name.

His rand reached out for her to hold and she looked at his palm- his empty hand that was waiting to be filled with hers, his empty fingers waiting to wrap around her. So, she complied and took his hand, climbing into his bed and adjusting her straddle on his lap. There was silence, mostly just their heavy breaths filling the air, wondering if this was the moment they’d been waiting for- if this is what Jake was hoping for.

She felt his hands creep up her thighs, slowly and surely attaching themselves to her hips, dipping under her shirt to find her waist. His fingers danced on her skin, almost like he was playing a piano, waiting for her to do something other than to hold onto the hem of her shirt.

“Jake?”

“Yeah?”

He could feel her pulsating through her bikini and his dick twitched in his shorts. He gulped as he watched her hands move towards his chest, the cold of her fingertips sending a jolt down his spine. He let her stay that way, her hands exploring the crevices of his chest. Lifting his head that was resting on the wall, he found his neck moving towards her, and she did the same. Their heads tilted, lips parted and eyes hooded- they knew what was to come. They couldn’t wait for it to come.

“I promise you won’t get hurt,” he whispered, just as his lips brushed against hers, their noses touching. His hands moved higher up her torso, touching her ribs just as she let out a ragged breath-

And just as fast as their moment came, it left when they jolted away from each other. They heard footsteps and grumbled murmurs of the rest of the group mumbling it was a good day and goodnight to each other. Panicked, they scrambled off of each other and Y/N was rushing out of his pod and back into her own- anything to make the predicament seem normal, unusual. Before Jay had burst the door open and everyone piled in, Y/N’s head was already on her pillow, pretending to be asleep.

She could hear Jake greeting everyone and wishing everyone a goodnight- she paid no mind. That night, she couldn't sleep.

The group of six had spent almost two months out on the ocean, in the middle of nowhere, on a metal vessel that they’d been calling home, and they’d still hadn’t spotted a whale. However, they felt no sense of discouragement, focusing on testing the new equipment and going on more dives and collecting more samples for research. They collected samples of plankton blooms, recorded the eerie songs of distant marine life, and encountered creatures they never expected—an elusive blanket octopus, a deep-sea jelly drifting near the surface, even a rare oarfish shimmering like a silver ribbon in the depths. The once-crisp excitement of the expedition had softened into something quieter—a steady rhythm of work, patience, and anticipation.

That day was like no other. The air felt no different and the ocean, as usual, stretched infinitely around them. The sky was a perfect, cloudless blue. Jason was at the research station, analyzing the latest data from their dives, his brows furrowed in concentration as he scrolled through results. Sunghoon and Heeseung were near the stern, arguing about whether or not a gull that had landed on their railing was the same one they’d seen three days ago. Annie sat cross-legged on the deck, flipping through her notebook, jotting down observations while absentmindedly twirling a loose thread on her sleeve. Jake was beside her, leaning back on his elbows, quietly watching the sun reflect off the water.

The late afternoon had been slow, peaceful, the kind of moment where time stretched lazily—until Jay stiffened, his head snapping toward the hydrophone. His heart kicked against his ribs as the sound hummed through his headphones, low and distant but unmistakable. Impatient, he holler for Jason who came running to him, questioning what was so important.

“Do you hear that?” He sucked in a breath as he handed the headphones to Jason.

Jason, eyes widened with hope and shock, nodded. “No way,” he breathed. “No way!” He yelled which caught the attention of the rest of the group.

“What is it?” Y/N craned her head to examine the ruckus, watching as everyone had gathered around the deck. Jay came over with binoculars, waving it around in the air. Somehow, without needing any explanation, everyone understood what the excitement was about. It was happening. It was finally happening.

Keeping her notebook aside, she made her way towards the rest of the group, leaning against the railing in anticipation.

“I think they’re a few kilometers away, we should be able to see them soon,” Jay concentrated on his sight through the binoculars, face squirming with concentration.

Everyone simply watched the horizon, waiting for a disturbance to break the surface of the ocean. For a few moments, they saw nothing and Y/N went back and forth from listening to the sound on the headphones, a melody so ancient and otherworldly that it sent shivers down her spine, and looking back at the horizon. She was on the brink of losing hope, watching as Jake and Sunghoon broke apart from the group with their heads hung low, looking at everyone like they were fools for thinking they were lucky until-

It finally happened.

Gasps of awe filled the air as the others scrambled to grab their binoculars and cameras. Sunghoon nearly tripped over a crate in his rush, and even Jake—usually calm and composed—had an unrestrained grin on his face as he followed Y/N to the railing.

A towering column of mist rose into the air, catching the evening light like a shimmering ghost. The sound of the exhale followed a second later, a forceful blast from beneath the waves. The water churned violently as the massive shape surged upward. For a split second, the ocean seemed to hold its breath—then, a whale erupted from the surface. A colossal Humpback Whale launched skyward, water cascading off its slick skin in torrents. The sheer size of it was staggering. Its massive pectoral fins spread wide, and for a breathtaking moment, it seemed suspended in midair—a creature far too large to belong anywhere but the sea, defying gravity itself.

Everyone froze. No one breathed.

Then, in a heartbeat, everyone burst into a rumble of excitement as the whale slammed back into the water, sending an explosion of white foam and waves rippling toward the vessel. The force of it sent their stomachs lurching, but no one cared. Y/N’s hands flew to her mouth, her eyes blown wide.

“Oh, my God,”she said, unable to get her feet to move as Jay had scrambled back to the computer to see what the hydrophones had managed to record. “It’s singing!” Heeseung had screamed repeatedly as Jay fought to not let excitement shake his posture.

Sunghoon bolted for the camera rig, yanking the telephoto lens into place. “Holy shit, that was a full breach! I need a better angle—someone hold this steady!” Heeseung grabbed the tripod as Sunghoon adjusted the settings.

Jason scrambled toward the data log, frantically typing timestamps and environmental conditions into the system. “We need to record the water temp, salinity, GPS coordinates—someone grab the readings!”

As the crew erupted into action around them—rushing for cameras, hydrophones, and data logs—Jake didn’t move. He barely even breathed.

He was watching her.

Y/N stood frozen at the rail, her hands gripping the metal so tightly that her knuckles had gone white. Her eyes, wide and shining under the soft glow of the afternoon sun, stayed locked on the spot where the whale had breached. She looked completely lost in the moment—like the world had narrowed to just her and the ocean. The excitement, the rush, the frantic calls of the others—it all faded into white noise for Jake. He saw her throat move as she swallowed hard, lips slightly parted like she wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. She didn’t even reach for the binoculars or her notebook. She just stood there and let everything happen.

Jake had seen her fall in love with the ocean over and over again these past few weeks. On the night dive, when she saw bioluminescent creatures flicker to life for the first time. In the quiet hours before dawn, when she let her fingers trail through glowing waters. Each moment had stripped away something guarded in her—had pulled her deeper into the thing she loved most.

And now, as she stood there, wholly consumed by the sight before her, Jake felt something in his chest tighten. She was beautiful like this—untethered, weightless, alive. In a moment of fleeting adoration, Jake wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She leaned into his chest without hesitation, mouth still agape, eyes still locked on the sea. Jake felt her exhale, felt the way her body melted into his. Slowly, confidently, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. His lips lingered, his eyes closing like he wanted to keep this moment exactly as it was. The weight of unacknowledged moments, flickering electricity had shifted into something else over the past few weeks- something, softer, lighter, deeper.

Y/N had stopped second-guessing the way she naturally gravitated toward him, the way her body angled toward him whenever they stood together, the way she reached for him without thinking. And Jake? Jake had stopped holding back.

He still teased her, still challenged her, still made her roll her eyes—but now, his affection was deliberate. When she handed him something, his fingers would brush hers and linger. When she got caught up in her work, he’d bring her water without a word. When she sat alone at night, tracing patterns in the bioluminescence, he’d sit beside her in silence, just to exist in the same space.

Finally, Y/N tilted her head up to look at him, her expression open in a way it hadn’t been before. No teasing smirk, no quick remark—just something warmer, something unspoken but completely understood.

Jake’s lips quirked into a quiet smile. “A lot of firsts for you these days.”

Y/N exhaled a small laugh, nodding.

“Think we should get to work now,” he offered and she meekly nodded.

Jake let her go and moved with quick precision, checked the equipment on deck, making sure the hydrophone was secured and that no water had splashed onto their more sensitive instruments. “Sunghoon, tell me you got that on camera,” he muttered.

“Barely!” Sunghoon yelled.

Y/N stayed close to the railings, keeping her eye out on the huge mass of shadow moving past the surface of the waters, just in case a whale surfaced again.

After spending days with whale songs filling the air, making their mornings, Sunghoon sent out his drone again and detected an entangled whale. After debating whether they were allowed to intervene, something about rules and regulations, they agreed to help the creature. Fear that it would die without sooner intervention and the excitement of being inches away from a whale, possibly being able to touch it, the group devised a plan of action.

Heeseung and Sunghoon stayed on the vessel as look-out through binoculars as the rest manoeuvred a small boat towards the hurting whale. It was only a few feet meters away from them but reaching it through the rough waters seemed like a task, all of a sudden. The waters were usually never this rough- first time in all the weeks they’d been on the ocean.

The water was colder than expected as Jake, Jay and Y/N descended, the massive form of the whale looming beneath them. Up close, the entanglement was worse than they’d thought—thick netting dug deep into the whale’s pectoral fin, restricting its movement. Y/N and Jay worked swiftly, slicing through the strands while Jake positioned himself to keep them steady. The whale remained eerily still, its eye just barely visible through the shifting blue.

Then, without warning, it thrashed, perhaps because of the sudden attention it was getting from foreign presence or perhaps from the pain of entanglement. The sudden burst of movement sent a powerful current surging around them. Y/N was thrown backward, Jay barely managing to steady himself. Jake instinctively reached for her, pulling her close before she could drift further. For a tense moment, they remained suspended in the water, waiting to see if the whale would calm. Slowly, its movements settled, and they resumed cutting. One final slice, and the last of the netting unraveled, drifting away into the depths. The whale hovered for a moment before, with a flick of its tail, it surged forward- free at last- and the three watched as it swam away from them.

“I can’t believe that just happened,” Y/N said. “I can’t believe I just did that- we just did that.”

Upon arriving back on the vessel, the team moved on autopilot—securing equipment, hauling themselves aboard, and stripping off their dive gear. A string of celebratory huzzas were passed around as Y/N slumped against a chair. The air was thick with exhilaration and exhaustion, breaths still uneven from the dive. Sunghoon handed Y/N a towel as she squeezed the seawater from her hair, her mind still in the depths, replaying the whale’s final surge to freedom.

Jason was already hunched over the laptop, fingers flying across the keyboard as he analyzed the recordings. "The change in vocalizations—it's real," he muttered, half to himself, half to Jay, who leaned over his shoulder. Jay's grin was unstoppable. "We’re really hearing this in real-time. That’s insane."

The others busied themselves cleaning up, but the adrenaline was still too fresh to settle. Heeseung cracked open a bottle of water, while Sunghoon replayed drone footage on his tablet, scrutinizing every frame. "We actually did it," he murmured, half in disbelief.

Y/N, however, found herself drifting away from the commotion. She was exhausted and desperately needed rest for her eyes. Her arms went slump and legs felt heavy and when Jake spotted her heaving breath, he made his way towards her, offering himself as a pillow. The pair slumped on each other, Jake running a hand up and down her arm as she drowned out the commotion around her.

“Just a few minutes,” she mumbled and nuzzled deeper into his chest, hugging his torso. Jake chuckled.

Their peace didn’t last long, though. Jake felt it before he saw it, the subtle shift in the air, the way the horizon darkened like spilled ink bleeding into the sky. A low rumble rolled across the sky, so distant at first that no one paid it much mind. But then came the wind—sharp, biting, and sudden. The gentle lull of the ocean turned erratic, the once-glassy surface growing restless beneath them.

A storm was coming. Fast.

“Storm’s rolling in,” Heeseung called from the helm, voice edged with urgency. “We need to secure everything—now.”

Y/N’s eyes shot open as her mind registered what was going on and everyone started moving in sync, doing what their training had taught them to do. Like it came out of nowhere, sheets of rain lashed against the deck, making it nearly impossible to see more than a few feet ahead. The ocean had turned violent, monstrous waves slamming into the vessel with enough force to send them stumbling. Sunghoon and Jay held onto the railings, Jake and Y/N barely finding a way to make it to safety as Heeseung and Jason controlled the steering. They could see them, their faces contorting with strain as they helped each other manoeuvred the wheel.

A rogue wave—towering, relentless—rose like a wall before crashing down onto the deck. The impact sent equipment flying, knocking everyone off balance. A sickening crack sounded through the storm, followed by a sharp, agonized cry.

“Jay!”

As Sunghoon hollered, he ran towards Jay on the unsteady vessel, fully equipped with the knowledge that they could be thrown overboard by the waves and the wind any second. Jay was crumbling against the rain, body twisted in pain as he held onto his forearm. “I think I broke it,” he repeated over and over again as Sunghoon carried him towards Jake and Y/N.

Jake and Sunghoon exchanged a look that Y/N couldn't decipher, a sort of language the two friends had accumulated through their years of friendship. When the vessel rocked again, Sunghoon grabbed Y/N’s arm and tried his best to get them inside- to safety, hopefully. Jake dashed the opposite direction, towards the wheelhouse.

“Where is he going?” Y/N yelled over the winds and the thunder that started to crack, crouching out of instinct though she knew it wouldn’t be much protection. Another wave crashed against the vessel, water flooding the deck. The rain fell harder above them, leaving them no mercy. They were being tossed around like a

“Distress signal,” Sunghoon shouted back, holding Jay in place amongst the imbalance.

The storm swallowed the horizon whole, a monstrous force of wind and water that turned the sky into an endless void of grey. The waves surged like biblical monsters, heaving and crashing against the vessel with relentless fury, each impact rattling through steel and bone alike. The world had shrunk to chaos—water seeping into every crevice, bodies thrown against railings, desperate hands gripping whatever they could to keep from being flung into the abyss.

“Sunghoon, we’re not gonna make it,” Y/N could feel her tears, tears of fear and defeat, mixing with the rain, eyes squinting as she searched for him amongst the fog.

“No, Y/N,” Sunghoon yelled. “We’re gonna make it.”

Somewhere, through the deafening roar of the storm, a voice crackled through the radio—a lifeline lost in static—before the darkness was split apart by a piercing beam of light.

The helicopter had arrived.

The harsh fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, a stark contrast to the wild, untamed darkness of the storm they had just survived. The six of them sat scattered around the hospital room, their bodies aching, their minds still reeling from the chaos that had led them here. The sterile scent of antiseptic filled the air, but beneath it lingered the salt of the ocean, a reminder that no matter how far they were from that vessel, the sea was still etched into their skin.

Jay sat in the center of it all, his arm immobilized in a sling, bruises painting his skin in deep purples and sickly yellows. He looked exhausted, but there was a ghost of his usual grin on his face as he tried to downplay the pain. “I guess this means I get out of heavy lifting for a while,” he joked, but no one laughed.

Because they all remembered.

They remembered the way the waves had swallowed the vessel, tossing them like rag dolls. The helplessness of gripping onto whatever they could, praying they wouldn’t be swept away. The panic when Jay had been thrown across the deck, a sickening crack cutting through the chaos. The way he had screamed. The frantic, trembling hands trying to keep pressure on his injury, the desperate voices yelling into the radio for help, the sheer terror that, for a moment, they might not all make it out.

Sunghoon sat at the edge of his hospital bed, staring at the floor with his elbows on his knees, fingers interlocked so tightly his knuckles were white. Jason and Heeseung murmured in hushed tones with a doctor at the doorway, nodding stiffly at whatever instructions were being given.

And then there was Y/N.

She sat beside Jake, her head resting against his shoulder, eyes open but unfocused. Her hands were clasped together in her lap, like she was grounding herself, trying to convince herself that they were safe now. That it was over.

Jake hadn’t let go of her since they had been pulled out of the storm. His grip on her hand was firm, like if he let go, she might disappear. The adrenaline had long worn off, leaving behind only exhaustion and the silent, heavy weight of everything they had endured.

For the first time in months, there was no vessel beneath them, no swaying of the ocean, no distant songs of whales humming through the water. Just the quiet hum of the hospital and the echo of a storm that still raged inside them. For the first time, Y/N wondered, had they all gone crazy without knowing it? She’d seen documentaries about this- how people stranded in a single environment could descend into a state of psychosis. Did that happen to them, sickness right under their noses?

When the doctor made her way towards the group, everyone lifted their heads and sat straight, reacting as though a professor had just walked into the classroom. Dr Ryu looked at them sternly, an absence of sympathy and solemness in her demeanour. Perhaps that is exactly what they needed. “You guys got lucky,” she said. “It could have been worse.”

Everyone responded with a sequence of nods, Jay wincing as he moved the wrong muscle. Jason shifted to his side, resting his hand on his back as support and comfort.

“Physically, you all should be fine. A quick recovery- Jay included,” Dr Ryu continued. “However, I highly recommend visiting a therapist. By the looks of it, this wasn’t something easy that you all had to go through and you now show increased vulnerability to PTSD or any related disorders. Please do take my advice seriously.”

Again, she was met with a sequence of nods and mumbles, assuring her that they would do their best in taking care of themselves and each other.

“We will keep Jay in for the night for observation,” Dr Ryu said. “Any of you can stay with him. The rest of you- go home. Go home to your families and just be in a more familiar space. Try to sleep- staying awake all night and mulling over it will not help. Your bodies are exhausted. Give it a rest and come back tomorrow.”

As she walked away from the group, a moment of silence fell over them as they went over what the doctor had said. PTSD? Who knew this was the turn their lives would take? To be fair, she only advised a therapist- there was no guarantee for anything at the moment.

“I’ll stay,” Jason said. The decision was made without much debate. Friends since a trip went wrong during university, it made sense that he stayed back. While working on a coastal biodiversity project, their boat engine failed during a data collection run, leaving them stranded at sea for hours. They were rescued by helicopters that day, too and looking back, their situation now looked eerily similar- just without the injury and the trauma.

Jason had already straightened in his seat, his expression leaving no room for argument. Jay rolled his eyes but didn’t protest. “You guys should go get some actual sleep. My apartment’s closer to the hospital anyway- you should spend the night there, give each other company.”

No one had the energy to argue.

Sunghoon sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. “I’m gonna pass out the second I hit a bed.”

“Same,” Heeseung muttered, already gathering what little belongings they had brought with them.

Y/N glanced at Jake, who had been uncharacteristically quiet. He still hadn’t let go of her hand, his thumb absentmindedly running over her knuckles. His eyes flickered toward Jason, something unreadable crossing his expression.

Jason caught it. “Don’t even think about staying, Jake,” he said, voice softer now but still firm. “You look worse than Jay.”

Jake huffed a quiet laugh, but Y/N felt the tension in his grip. He didn’t want to leave. None of them really did, but Jason was right- they needed rest, and Jay was in good hands.

Y/N squeezed his hand, a silent reassurance, before standing up. “We’ll be back first thing in the morning.”

Jason gave a small nod. “I’ll text you if anything happens.”

With that, they filed out of the room, exhaustion making their movements sluggish. The police drove them to Jason’s apartment and the second they opened the doors, Heeseung and Sunghoon occupied the guest bedroom and Jake dragged himself into Jason’s bedroom. Y/N found herself frozen in the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror. She felt like a fool for feeling the way she did, for being naive enough to think that she could get past this like it was a bad birthday party.

Upon entering the room Jake was in, she found him sitting cross legged on the bed, back hunched over as he toyed with something on his phone. When he felt her presence, he kept his phone away and shifted his gaze to her. He patted the empty space beside him, coaxing her to sit with him and she did. She let her head hit the pillow and Jake leaned against the headboard, eyes falling on the ceiling. It was weird not catching sight of a night sky filled with stars- almost unfamiliar.

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” he whispered, almost as if saying it quieter would make their predicament lighter.

“I know,” she responded. “It doesn’t feel real,” she rested her hand against his shoulder, softly rubbing his back in hopes of comforting him. He leaned his cheek against her hand, raising his own to hold hers and closing his eyes to find solace in the moment.

“Everything’s gonna be alright,” he mumbled.

“Everything is alright,” she tried. “We’re all here, alive and safe. Jay is fine.”

“Jay is fine,” he repeated.

“And we are fine.”

“You almost died.”

Y/N leaned up and rested against the headboard with him, deliberately keeping her face close to his, breaths syncing. Jake’s eyes stayed close, his cheek still on her hand. “But I didn’t,” she said, with conviction.

“You were slipping away.”

Y/N didn’t know how to respond. The weight of it sat between them, heavy and unspoken. She knew that feeling. The terror of helplessness. The way it lingered in your bones, no matter how many times you tell yourself you survived.

She shifted, sliding closer, until their knees brushed. “But I’m here,” she murmured.

Jake lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to her palm, and something inside her stirred. “I need to feel it,” he said, almost to himself. “That you’re here. That this is real.”

His hands found her waist, tentative and fragile at first like that night in the sleeping pods, testing the waters, walking on eggshells. When she moved closer to him, finding herself straddling his waist again, Jake found no motive to stop. He leaned upwards to find her lips, mouths colliding without hesitation- there was no adultery, no ploy of teasing or hurting, no uncertainty. They were two people, finding an anchor within each other, desperately holding on.

When he finally kissed her, Y/N wondered why it took so long for them to be in this position in the first place. And he kissed her with caution, slow movements memorising her crevices and making sure she remembered him. As their mouths opened and closed in sync, his hands roamed underneath her shirt, tracing her skin and counting her ribs before lifting her shirt over her head. In that moment, while he held her, she didn’t feel lusted over or sexualised- she felt as though she was being protected, cherished… loved.

“Y/N… I don’t just want you,” he breathed against her, lips moving down her throat and hands roaming her legs. “I need you.”

Slowly, wrapping his arms around her back, he flipped her over so she lay on the bed and he hovered over her. For a brief moment, he stopped to look at her face- her eyes that were filled with curiosity and anticipation, lips parted in waiting for him, hair strewn across the pillow. Then he kissed her again, one hand roaming towards her nippled and the other swiftly unzipping her jeans. In this moment, though he usually wouldn’t prefer to, Jake wasted no time- he didn’t want to tease her or waste his time with foreplay. He just wanted to feel her, know that she was living in his arms, breathing and letting her heart beat against him.

His hand shifted to move her jeans off her legs and Y/N shimmied out of them, chuckling in the process. “This isn’t that attractive,” she murmured.

“Shut up,” he said with a grin and kissed her again.

He let his fingers hook under her underwear and touch her clit. Y/N moaned into his and he moaned back, feeling the wetness of her folds and letting her back arch into him. Her hips grinded against his hand and he complied by exploring her folds, slowly and desperately getting her to whine and moan more under him.

“Heeseung and Sunghoon are sleeping,” Jake mumbled against her skin, lips exploring the nape of her neck and moving to the curve of your breasts. “You’ve gotta try to be quiet, yeah?”

“Okay,” she heaved and Jake could feel her nod, her chin touching his hair.

He slipped a finger into her hole and she squirmed, biting her lip to adjust to the length. Her hands flew towards his hair, tugging and pulling at the silky tufts. He moved his finger in and out, languidly and deliberately, eyeing your reactions and expressions as he did so. His thumb flew to her clip, rubbing steady circles only for more wetness to ooze out of her.

“Higher, Jake,” he heard her moan and he increased his pace. The sound of squelching filled the room, mixed with their moans. He kissed her again, his other hand continuing to toy with her nipples while he fingered her- now, fast and dirty, aiming towards a goal. He could feel her clenching on his fingers, clamping down everytime he pulled out too much, whimpering every time he curled at the right spot.

Jake moved so he could kneel between her legs, his fingers now moving slower as he brought his face closer to her heat. She could feel his breath on her, only making her ache for him more. She whined for him to hurry up and was only shut up when she felt his mouth on her. He sucked on her clit as his finger picked up pacing, adding a second one as her breath got heavier. He could see her chest heaving, her hands flying upwards to grip the headboard.

When her knees started closing instinctively, his shoulders kept them apart, one hand gripping her hip so tight she was sure she’d have bruises the next morning. And he kept going, sucking and flicking at her clit with his tongue, fingers moving in and out of her so fast that she’d forgotten how she ended up here in the first place.

“I’m so close,” she moaned. “So close.”

And just as she felt her high crashing down on her, he’d withdrawn himself completely and she let out a gasp. Her brows furrowed, she tilted her head to find Jake stripping his own clothes and she stared at the way his chest glistened under the moonlight, his dick springing out of his boxers as he moved to hover over her again. His hair fell onto his forehead and her hands moved to tuck it under his ear. She placed an innocent peck on nose, cheeks, forehead and chin before moving to his lips again, waiting for him to do something before getting annoyed at her lack of orgasm.

“Brace yourself, alright?” He whispered into her mouth and she felt his tip aligning to her entrance. He looked at her before going any further, waiting for a confirmation. When she nodded, he pushed himself into her and the pair moaned in unison.

“Is this the great sex you were referring to?”

“You can’t deny it.”

As he thrusted into her, sharp and with purpose, she regretted wanting to tease him or get a laugh out of him. She let out a gasp, followed by an incoherent string of moans as he thrusted in and out of her, his hand caressing the back of her head and her nails scratching his back. She wrapped her legs around his waist, a desperate way to feel him deeper inside her. He buried himself in the nape of her neck, peppering kisses behind her ear while she did the same to his shoulder.

“Faster,” she moaned and he complied, forgetting the slow and romantic pace he wanted to go with and pounding into her faster, harder- anything and everything to get her to cum with him. He let a hand slip in between their bodies, fingers finding her clit and rubbing briskly and whispering sweet lulls into her ears.

“You gotta cum with me, yeah?” He said and she could only nod, throat too preoccupied with the moans she couldn’t hold back.

She felt the knot in her stomach building again, back arching further and pussy clenching harder onto is dick- he could feel it too, that she was close. She threw her head back, waiting for the moment to fall upon her, waiting for him to say something. He only went faster, letting the hinges of the bed creek.

“Y/N?” She responded with a frustrated hum. “Cum with me- cum for me.”

And she did, letting her orgasm spill over her body and she could feel him inside her, filling her up to the brim. Jake moaned, feeling her body shudder at the way he fucked her, her eyes meeting his with desperation and ache.

“Jake…” she whined as he placed her body comfortably on the mattress again, falling on the empty space beside her and wrapping his arms around her torso. “So good,” she breathed, unable to unclutter her thoughts.

“I know that was supposed to be depression sex, but wow,” he said into her neck.

Y/N raised a lazy hand to hit him on the head. “Stop being funny,” she groaned and he laughed.

Jake, Y/N, Jason, Heeseung, Jay and Sunghoon stood in a line in front of Henry Sim. Over the past few weeks, they’d met with him a plethora of times- just to talk, not even about technical things, just talk. It was his way of looking out for them, taking care of them in whatever way he could. He offered to buy them meals, pay their therapy and hospital bills and even offered them a stipend if they needed it- all out of guilt and desperation to help them heal better, not knowing what else to do.

He was never critical, even praising their work to a large extent. And in all honesty, he was proud- it was great work. “This information that you all have gathered is valuable, I hope you know that,” he said to them, holding their report in hand.

“Yes, sir,” they answered in unison.

“It still feels unreal. Like we’re supposed to wake up tomorrow and check the equipment again,” Sunghoon said.

Jay chuckled, adjusting the sling on his arm. "Speak for yourself. I’d rather not get thrown around another boat for a while."

Heeseung smirked. "You’re just mad the whale was stronger than you."

Sunghoon, who had been absentmindedly fidgeting with the strap of his camera bag, let out a small laugh, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. The energy in the room had shifted, nostalgia seeping in through the cracks.

Henry exhaled through his nose. "The ocean doesn’t let anyone walk away the same. You six will carry this experience with you—whether you realize it now or not."

Jake, who had been quiet until then, glanced at Y/N. She met his gaze, and for a moment, the past months condensed into something unspoken but understood. The storm. The breach. The long nights and quiet moments. The feeling of something beginning even as something else ended.

Noticing their interaction, Henry cleared his throat. “The least I was expecting was the pairing of these two,” he pointed between Jake and Y/N. The rest of the group cackled.

“They thought they were being so slick,” Heeseung laughed. “We noticed everything.”

Rolling their eyes, Jake and Y/N continued to grin at everyone's smiling faces. The aquarium lights flickered slightly as a school of fish glided past the large tank beside them. It was a strange, almost poetic parallel—them, sitting still in this room, while life outside moved on without waiting.

Jason grimaced at the idea of his brother and best friend dating. Attempting to change the conversation, he cleared his throat. “So what now?”

The question hung heavy in the air as the group of six looked at each other. They knew what was to come- a set of interviews, press releases of what they experienced and perhaps even a short YouTube documentary. But what was to happen to their lives? What were they to expect?

No one wanted to answer that question. All they knew was that outside, the ocean awaited their return.

[liliesformingi]

"much love, laufey" - a mini series by @liliesformingi. view series masterlist, and outline here.

3. 'valentine' - yunho x reader “i tell him he's pretty too, can i say that?”

author's note: bring me 900 million jeong yunhos right now.

People raised their eyebrows at you for rooming with a guy. “And you don’t have feelings for him?” they’d ask, over and over.

But Yunho wasn’t just a guy, he was your friend. Supportive, protective, kind. He was a comfortable presence, something familiar.

Yunho was studying sports science and physiology at university, but also wrote lyrics on the side. You knew he loved physiology and understanding the human body, but music was what he truly loved, what he spent ungodly hours working at and obsessing over.  But it’s not stable enough, he’d sigh, stretching his arms before returning to the essay on human development he’d been procrastinating for the past week.

You were studying psychology, but also took art history classes on the side. Yunho knew art was something you desperately wanted to pursue, but it was the same as it was for him. You took the smart route. Not necessarily the easy one, or the one you liked. You did what you needed to, securing your futures.

Both of you were scared of risking something, messing stuff up.

He’d bring you an iced coffee when he knew you’d forgotten to drink one while studying.

You’d make his preworkout for him to take before he went to the gym.

He’d go out and buy things for you when it was that time of month and you couldn’t get out of bed.

You’d blow dry his hair late at night when he was too tired to do it himself, insisting he’d get sick if he went to bed with damp hair.

He’d comfort you after each failed date, after each guy ghosted you or simply told you “You’re not what I want.”

Basically, you two were cosy.

It had been a quiet day. Both of you had upcoming exams, not for another few weeks, but close enough that it felt real, and both of you had fears of not doing enough. So if that meant going through notes for hours and revising on the sofa while he sat at the dining table, tapping his pen along to whatever he was listening to with his headphones while occasionally annotating a diagram, so be it.

Eventually, you were bored, hungry and worn out. 

Yunho had dark circles under his eyes, and you were struggling to retain your gaze on the harsh light of your laptop, but both of you refused to give up. Until you checked your phone and realised it was 3pm, and you were yet to have lunch, let alone breakfast.

“Oh, shit,” you mumbled, standing up and stretching before you made your way into the kitchen. You automatically pulled out two bowls and ripped open a packet of yours and his favourite ramen, setting the water to boil while you chopped vegetables and stirred the soup. 

You set the steaming bowl in front of him along with a pair of chopsticks and a spoon. He looked up gratefully, taking his headphones off and shoving his work aside. “Thank you, angel, I’m sorry, I could’ve made myself something-”

“Don’t worry, Yun, it’s fine,” you sat down opposite him, beginning to eat your food. You slurped noodles and yawned, occasionally exchanging the odd comment about work or school. You asked him about his music projects he was working on, and he started off on a vivid explanation about this amazing website of free music samples he’d found. You watched him happily, resting your chin in your hands.

“Sorry, I’ve been talking for a while,” Yunho chuckled. “How’s stuff with you? Got a psych exam coming up, yeah?”

“Mhmm. I just . . . my head’s in it, but my heart kinda isn’t. And it’s a lot of work. I’m tired all the time,” you yawned and stretched. “And my shoulders hurt like hell from sitting so awkwardly for hours.”

Yunho tilted his head a little. “C’mere.”

You stood up and winced slightly, waddling over towards him. He stood up, gesturing for you to sit in his place. You sat down, rolling your neck. He started pressing his hands into your shoulders, upper arms and neck; each movement releasing the pent up tension and stress from your body.

“Feel a bit better?”

“Mm, feels nice, Yun,” you sighed, leaning your head back and looking up at him.

Yunho didn’t know what came over him in that moment. Hands still resting on your shoulders, he leant down, and kissed your forehead.

You gasped a little, body startling. “Yunho, what the fuck?”

“I’m so sorry,” he gasped, immediately redacting his hands from your shoulders. “I don’t know why the hell I did that. Actually, no, I do know, and that’s the problem.”

“Yun-”

“No, let me talk. Please. I like you. Not even like, maybe love, I don’t know. And it hurts, knowing you probably don’t feel the same way and it hurts seeing you go on those dates and get hurt. It hurts seeing you hurt yourself by overwhelming yourself with schoolwork. So maybe I should just go. Maybe that would help.”

“Yunho, shut up.”

He looked a little hurt at that, raising an eyebrow.

“Let me talk,” you replied, eyes sparkling and cheeks a little pink. “I like you too, maybe love. I don’t know either. You just . . . surprised me. But I want you . . . I want you to do that again. But not on the forehead. On the lips. Do it properly, please.”

Yunho walked back over, leaning down and placing a hand on your cheek.

“That I can do,” he smiled.

taglist: @zelinkcrossing @hyunjiiza @zenlackszen @kur0kki @peskybirdysya @nujeskz @jessxxxfwd @xuchiya @bee-gremlin @radblizzardpizzas-blog @matchahintonagar @diekleinesuesse@xh01bri @lunaryoongie @jaehyunluvbot @k1xiara @cloudy-lilly @sunnysidesins @lveegsoi@arcvillie @flqwrlvr @huachengsbestie01 @subby-men-forever @lezleeferguson-120 @mrsminseochoi@alyssajavenss @0sunshinecryptid0@silveritydreams @moonlitarcade| send an ask, dm or comment to be added :)

[nochedie]

saying it out loud | dean winchester ❤️‍🩹

pairing: dean winchester x reader

genre: i don’t actually know? kinda fluffy but also a little angsty

wordcount: 716

summary: and i would say i love you but saying it out loud is hard.

a/n: listening to futile devices on repeat atm so this happened organically. anyways! it’s been a while hehe 😗 it felt good to write again honestly! hopefully i can get some more stuff out soon, a lot is happening in my life so i haven’t had a lot of time! i have a week off end of the month so i’m sure you’ll be hearing lots from me then 🫶🏼

of course he loved you.

he knew that. so did sam. seemed like you were the only person who didn’t know.

at first it was just a little flutter in his stomach everytime he saw you, everytime you were close. he tried to brush it off, pretend like it wasn’t happening.

but every single day with you, he loved you that little bit more.

the most mundane things suddenly became fascinating to him. little quirks, unique only to you, he noticed, no matter how small.

he was comfortable, being with you. being around you.

he didn’t think, not for a second, that you felt the same way about him. he saw himself as unlovable, saw only bad where you saw only good.

he didn’t mind the yearning. you were right there. safe, with him. that’s all he could hope for, and it was the best he thought he could hope of getting.

you’d just finished up on a case and were back at the bunker. you spent a lot of your time in dean’s room, despite having your own. you didn’t even really have to talk, just being there was enough. his arm touching yours, feeling his body heat, it was enough.

after a long while, you finally broke the comfortable silence. “what’s dinner?”

“i could fix us some burgers.” dean offered, turning his head to cast his gaze over to you.

“can’t refuse one of your burgers.” you got off the bed with a smile, holding out your hand to pull him up. he couldn’t help the fluttering in his stomach at the physical contact, no matter how small. if you’d looked at him just a moment earlier, you would have caught the way his cheeks flushed.

he followed you into the kitchen, hands itching to reach out and touch you again. but he resisted, told himself it wasn’t what you wanted.

you stayed in the kitchen as he cooked, watching him meticulously. if he wasn’t so distracted making sure your burger was perfectly cooked, he would’ve noticed the way you were looking at him.

a couple weeks later, you and dean were on a hunt together, vamp nest just out of wichita. night came and it was pouring out, so dean had parked up the impala in a parking lot to some superstore until it eased off.

you looked over to him in the drivers seat, the smallest smile playing on your lips. you took in every little thing about him. his long eyelashes that you could see from the side, the way his fingers tapped against the steering wheel of the impala even though you weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. streetlights shone a bit of light into the car, casting shadows, and the reflection of the raindrops against the windshield played across his face.

that’s when you knew. you loved him.

dean continued just as he was, while you found yourself unable to think about anything other than him. other than telling him how you felt.

you tried a few times, the words always dying on your tongue.

“dean… can we talk?” your voice dragged him out of his thoughts, and he looked over to where you sat at the table in the motel room you were staying in.

“course. what’s going on?” dean closed his laptop, putting it beside him on the bed before walking over to the table, taking a seat beside you.

your eyes locked on his, those pretty eyes you loved so much. it was at that moment you realised why you loved the colour green so much.

his eyes searched yours in the silence, nerves overwhelming him after a few more moments. whatever it was, it was something you were struggling to say. he couldn’t help but consider the possibility. the possibility that after all this time, you felt the same.

“um. i found something, for the case.” you changed the subject, mentally cursing yourself. you just couldn’t bring yourself to speak the words out loud.

dean’s expression faltered a bit, and he tried to mask his disappointment. “that’s it? that’s what you wanted to tell me?”

you offered a smile, one that didn’t quite reach your eyes. you paused for what felt like a decade, finally finding the words.

“no… but i’ll tell you soon. i promise.”

comments, feedback etc always appreciated! thank you for reading!

[wolfiesmoon]

I can't sleep

Ran x good girl!reader

Do i want a bad boy (literal criminal) bf? Yea but i would probably cry if he insulted me or got into trouble in any capacity at all

(i am totally not unironically vibing to pretty little psycho while writing this)

edit: i made a part 2!!

"I dare you to kiss Haitani Ran." Your friend nudged you.

You knew you shouldn't have agreed to this stupid game of truth or dare. You knew your friend was going to make you do stupid stuff like this.

"Like... the big scary delinquent guy?" You asked, hoping you heard her wrong.

"Yeah, that Haitani Ran." Your friend smirked mischeviously.

"How about I don't do that?" The last thing you'd want to do is get involved wth any delinquents or gangs. You have no idea how dangerous Ran could be and even if he wasn't you'd still refuse to kiss a good for nothing delinquent.

"Are you trying to get me killed?" you followed up, realising just how bad this dare could end up.

"You do know that refusing this dare means that you have to do anything I say for a week, right?" Your friend had a horribly evil look on her face. You don't even want to know the things she would make you do if you refused this stupid dare.

But is kissing Ran any better? Pick your poison, you suppose.

"Fine, I'll do it." You said behind clenched teeth, not at all happy about this outcome. You've never even kissed before, and now you have to kiss freaking Ran Haitani. You might actually die.

Why did you agree? What is wrong with you?

This might just be the worst day of your life.

You ended up being a little unfocused in class, making your teacher worry.

.

"Haitani-san." you call out to him, your voice dying off slightly at the end due to nerves. You're the only ones left in the classroom, with your friend watching from behind the door to make sure you actually do it. He looks back at you and you feel a shiver run through you.

Oh my god, you're actually doing this.

He stops, waiting to see what you want with him. You move closer to him, and his eyes narrow slightly, as if he's getting a good look at you.

"Now, what could the class president herself possibly want with me?" his tone was slightly mocking and you would have showed him you're not to be messed with but honestly you'd probably be the one losing in that scenario.

You inhaled sharply, pulling him down by his braids and planting a kiss straight onto his lips. This feels like a bad shojo plot, the "good girl" falls in love with the "bad boy" and kisses him all of a sudden. Except there's no romance involved here. Just a dare.

Is this how you kiss? Why does it feel so strange? That should be enough, right? You can feel your parents shaking their heads dissaprovingly already.

Ok, now you're just kissing him for way too long. It's time to let go. And you try to, you really do. Since when were his arms wrapped around your waist, anyways? And why isn't he letting you go?!

You can feel your friend's evil stare burning into your back. This is not amusing!

He laughed a little into the kiss, pulling you impossibly closer. Oh, so they're both going to enjoy your suffering now, you see how it is.

Still, kissing him isn't half ba-

Ok, you're actually losing it. You need out and fast.

You wriggled out of his grasp, running away as fast as your legs could take you. You heard both Ran and your friend yell something behind you but you honestly don't care.

Why did you ever agree to do this?!

.

That same thought persisted even as you tossed and turned in bed that night.

"Oh god, he's going to send his goons after me and I'm gonna die... And then I won't ever get to become successful..." you muttered to yourself.

"Or maybe he's gonna come and kill me myself after school tommorow... Ugh..." you can't come to school tired, you won't be able to pay attention in class that way. You can't ruin your perfect record by falling asleep in class.

Who cares about the perfect record?! You should be worried for your life!

"And what is that stupid noise, anyways?" you muttered, grumbling and getting up to inspect the source. Another stone hits the window, making you jump slightly. You walk to the window and open it, narrowly avoiding a stone that was thrown your way.

"Sorry!~"

Wait. You'd recognise that voice anywhere.

It's Ran.

"What are you doing here? How did you even get my adress?" you half yelled, not wanting to wake up your parents.

"You shouldn't sweat the little things. Come downstairs." he was smiling calmly, but you still couldn't tell if he was threatening you. Actually, is that his motorcycle parked next to him?

"You should probably put on a jacket too. It's real cold." he added on, and you nervously closed the window, quietly sneaking downstairs and putting on a jacket. Your pyjamas are not the most presentable, but you really don't want to test his patience right now.

You met him outside. What is he going to do to you now?

"Get on." he pointed to his bike, catching you off guard.

"Not without a helmet, riding a motorcycle without one can be really dangerous and you could lose your life." you couldn't help but bring up safety regulations. It's in your nature.

"I told you, don't sweat the details and just sit down." he completely ignored you, pushing you in the direction of the bike. You complied, sitting down on it awkwardly, not sure what to expect. He doesn't seem violent...

He sat down behind you, revving up the engine and just driving off without a care in the world.

"W-Wait!" you were shocked at the speed, grabbing onto him by instinct and missing the way his lips curved up at that.

"Where are you taking me?! I never consented to this!" you had to yell over the sound of the engine, shutting your eyes. He was right, it really is cold when you're riding on a motorcycle.

"And you know what I didn't consent to? That kiss." he replied and your face scrunched up a little, cringing at the not so distant memory. "But that's fine, because that means you're mine now."

"Huh?!" you finally opened your eyes, looking up at him. His expression was a little hard to make out since the only thing illuminating it was street lights that you were speeding past. Is he even following the speed limit?

"I value my sleep, you see. And that little stunt you pulled made me unable to fall asleep. So I figured I might as well give you a little visit." he placed a hand over you protectively, making you worry about your safety even more.

"Who would have thought the top of the class good girl would fall for me?" he looked down at you.

"I did not fall in love with you! It was a dare!" you shot back.

"Oh well, doesn't matter. You're my girl now. And that's that."

[mythicmanuscripts]

What are your thoughts on Aemond being the big spoon or little spoon? You can answer for Aegon and Jace too if you want.

Oooo great question anon!! I love this. I'm gonna write a little bit about all three of them and we can always discuss some aspects in more detail if anyone else is inspired by this and sends in their own thoughts.

There's no cut to hide behind cause this is just very cute SFW stuff, enjoy!

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AEMOND:

So the first time you met Aemond you thought he was completely touch averse. He was introduced to you as your future husband, and he refused to even meet your eye never mind touch you. You still try to bond with him though, still talk to him and spend time with him while making it VERY clear that you wouldnt touch him without his permission.

But as you slowly get closer and you slowly start to touch him, it becomes very apparent that he actually seems to LOVE it. He never asks, far too scared of rejection, but when you offer his eyes light up and he starts sitting closer to you, positioning his hand in ways that makes it easy for you to take his hand.

When you eventually reach the point of actual cuddling, Aemond is very stiff. He just... he's never actually cuddled anyone before? He knows how much he loves when you hold his hand and hug him and he would love to be closer for a prolonged period of time but he honestly doesn't even know where to put any of his limbs.

Once you realise this, you pull Aemond against you, wrapping your arm around his waist so that you're spooning him. Aemond goes stiff for a few seconds, and then he relaxes back against you. He lifts his arm up to tangle his fingers with yours. You press a kiss to his neck and he sighs, snuggling into your arm.

Even as he gets more comfortable, that's still his favourite position because it just feels so nice and he doesn't have to try and figure out where to put his hands or legs. He does start to enjoy holding you as well, but I think if he's holding you he prefers you to be facing him somehow? He LOVES when you lay your head against his chest, especially because you'll often lift you head up and offer him a quick kiss.

AEGON:

Small spoon. It's not even a question about that at all, of course he's the small spoon.

The first time you cuddle with him, it's after he's had an awful day towards the start of your marriage. He's supposed to come to your shared chambers to try for an heir, as is his duty, but when he arrives you realise he looks even sadder than usual.

You pat the space on the bed next to you and when he comes to lay down, you turn him and hug him from behind. Instantly he's relaxing, mumbling thank you and grabbing your arm to wrap it tighter around him. He whines if you move even an inch.

I actually think that would happen before you two started to get closer. It takes a long time for him to realise he can open up to you, but when you offer him physical comfort he cant help himself. For the longest time he wouldnt actually tell you what was bothering him, but he started coming for comfort and spending hours napping in your arms.

Once things get more sexual and he starts submitting properly, then cuddling becomes of those things he's utter insufferable about. He can't be the big spoon, absolutely not!! He always wants you holding him when he goes to sleep, and so if you have a late engagement and retire to your shared quarters once Aegon has already been there for a few hours, then he's pouty and annoyed when you eventually arrive.

Because how dare you?? You must always be there for cuddles!!

JACAERYS:

I think Jace likes both positions equally? Being the big spoon is definitely something he spends a lot of time thinking about during those long, cold nights leading up to the wedding. You have told him on multiple occasions that the two of you can kiss and cuddle before the wedding, he refuses. He's a proper gentleman, and he refuses to do anything that could bring your honour into doubt.

So instead he just lays there, counting down the days until you can finally spend your nights next to him. He often sleeps hugging his pillow, wishing for the time to go quicker.

Once you're married, you spend that first evening just kissing and talking and when you're both too tired to stay awake, Jace asks if he can hold you. Which, of course he can. He hugs you from behind, wrapping his arm around your waist and he nuzzles his head against the crook of your neck. You giggle and intertwine your fingers with his and Jace genuinely might be in heaven. You fall asleep quickly but Jace stays awake for as long as he can, not wanting to waste a single second.

He first tries out being the small spoon after the first time you take control properly during sex. He's so sweet after, all whiny and needy and asking if he was good. You really can't help yourself and you just have to pull him into your arms, slotting in behind him. You can feel his smile when he presses soft kisses to your wrist in response.

He loves the position as much as when he's the big spoon, but I think he only requests being the small spoon when he needs more comfort than usual. That's not to say he wouldn't enjoy it when he's not upset or vulnerable, but it's more that he really prides himself on being the bigger spoon and on making you feel safe and loved and so he won't ask for the other position unless he needs it.

Though if you asked for a position change he would never say no.

[alotofpockets]

The ACL Squad | Vivianne Miedema x Arsenal!Reader

Where Viv is the first to get injured and you take care of her, only for you to join the ACL Squad soon after

Woso masterlist | Words: 2.4k

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You were playing against Lyon, and while no goals were scored yet, the match was going well so far. However, that all turned around the moment you heard Viv scream out in pain. When you reached her side, she was clutching her knee with tears in her eyes. “It feels bad, Y/n. Really bad.” She said as she took hold of your outreached hand and squeezed it hard. 

The medical team rushed onto the field, but you refused to leave her side. You continued to hold her hand in support until you reached the sidelines, where the medical team stretched her off the field and into the stadium.

Seeing one of your teammates go down and get taken off on a stretcher was always hard, and that was hard. The team had stood close by until the medics had sent them away, and they opted for a water break while constantly looking over their shoulders to check on Viv.

You didn't end up getting the win, but that wasn't what mattered to you in that moment. The second that the whistle blows, you and Katie rush into the physio room to check on Viv.

Before you could ask how she was doing, Viv started talking. “They think I've done my ACL.” The striker says with tears in her eyes. “Scans tomorrow to confirm it, but I felt the pop, so I'm pretty sure that they are right.” 

“Oh Vivi, I'm so sorry.” You sit down on the side of her bed and place a comforting hand on her shoulder. Katie does the same on the other side. “Whatever it is, the whole team has your back. You won't be alone.”

Viv got a pair of crutches and she was free to leave. “Come on, I'll drive you back home.” Viv looked defeated, everything only just started to settle in. “What about my car?” Katie, who was grabbing everyone's stuff, while you were helping Viv stand up, offered her help. “Don't worry about your car. I drove Cait here, so we can drop it off at your place.”

Viv didn't feel ready to face the rest of the girls, so you told her to wait in the hallway, while you got both your stuff. You opted for only changing your boots to your sneakers, so she wouldn't have to wait too long. When you walked your stuff over to Viv’s, Caitlin stepped in. “Let me take her stuff in her car, we'll meet you at Viv’s place.”

What you hadn't realised until you walked into her apartment building, was that Viv’s apartment was on the second floor without access to an elevator. “Oh right.” Viv’s voice trembled. “Hey, it's okay. You can stay with me.” She shakes her head, “You don't have to, I couldn't ask that from you.” With a shrug you say, “You didn't ask, I offered. Plus, I won't take no for an answer.”

Katie and Caitlin both arrived when the two of you were still looking up the stairs. “Oh..” they said in unison. “Don't worry, she'll be staying at my place. We just have to grab some of her stuff.” The girls helped you grab some stuff that Viv would need, and put it into the trunk of your car, before you split ways.

The drive to your apartment was silent, besides the soft music playing on the radio. Viv was clearly in pain, both physically and emotionally, so you let the comfortable silence hang around you. Once you arrived you helped her into your apartment and guided her to the couch. After propping up her leg with some pillows, you headed back downstairs, to bring in Viv’s stuff. “Make yourself at home, I’ll go grab our stuff.”

When you got back upstairs, Viv was already fast asleep on the couch. You quietly moved around your apartment, getting the guest room ready, and cooking something for dinner. She wakes to the smell of food and crutches herself into the kitchen. “Smells good.” She says lacking the enthusiasm she tried to put behind it. You got it though, “Thank you, I see you took making yourself comfortable to a new level.” That got a smile out of the striker. 

“Thank you for taking me in, I don’t know what I would’ve done otherwise.” You shake your head, “You would’ve figured something out, but I am happy to help.” You set down two plates on the table, and help Viv put her crutches to the side. “Come on, let’s dig in. Maybe we can watch a movie after?”

The next few days were tough. The scan confirmed Viv’s worst fears, she tore her ACL. She knew the recovery would be long and draining. You and the rest of the team were quick to reassure her that you had her back every step of the way. 

You took every step of the way quite literally, not only were you helping her at home, but you also drove her to her doctors and physio appointments. After her surgery, Viv had a few rough days. She tried to stay strong when the team was around, they had all shown at one point or another the days following her surgery. But when your teammates left and it was just the two of you, the strong facade faltered. 

Sometimes she would let you in and let her tears flow freely as she spoke about her pain, worries, and struggles. While other times, she would even hide them from you and retreat into her room. Even if she didn’t always want it, you offered her a place of comfort where she didn’t have to hide her struggles. 

During her recovery, you spend most of the day together. In the morning you would drive to London Colney and drop Viv off at the gym, while you would head onto the training pitch with the rest of the team. 

Everyone showed their support in different ways. Caitlin and Katie had designated themselves as Viv’s personal movers and picked up whatever she needed from her apartment. Lia, and Lotte were often found in your kitchen making dinner. Beth and Steph brought their dogs around for extra cuddles. The rest of the girls came around often too. 

On the other hand, Viv supported the team back. She went to the home matches, besides supporting her team, it was also a way to feel closer to them. More a part of the team.

A little over a month after tearing her ACL she was sitting with the girls that weren't selected to play today in a crowded Emirates. She was chatting with Kim, who was out with a small ankle injury, when you went down and reached for your knee. 

Viv grabbed her crutches and moved faster than she had done since her injury. She stood worriedly at the sidelines, as she watched you be helped onto a stretcher. She follows you and the medics inside. 

You knew it right away. It felt exactly as Viv had described her injury. “Don't sugar coat it, I know it's my ACL.” You said to the physio who had a worried expression on his face. Viv stood besides you with a hand on your shoulder. “Yeah, I think it might be, but only scans will be able to confirm it.” 

When the medics leave the room, you turn to Viv. “Well this takes ‘I understand how you're feeling’ to a whole new level.” You scoot over a little, careful not to use your knee, and make space for Viv. “I truly wished that you would've never had to understand at this level.” She carefully sat down next to you, and you let yourself lean into her side. “We'll get through this, I've got you every step of the way. Just like you have been there for me. We're going to come back stronger.”

“I was supposed to take care of you.” With a new found sadness you look up to Viv, who quickly shakes her head. “And you have been incredible, so now I get to return the favour. Except for the driving part, I won't be able to do that just yet, but we will figure it out.” You lean back into her side, “Thank you, Vivi.”

With two pairs of crutches in the trunk of the car and two injured people in the back, Katie drove you back home, while Caitlin drove your car back, just like the first time around. “Are you two going to be okay?” Caitlin asked, after they helped bring your bags inside. “Yeah, I think so.” Viv answered as she looked over to you slumping down on the couch. “We know the drill by now. Thank you though.”

“Are you down for a movie?” Viv sat down besides you and placed some pillows down on the coffee table for the both of you to elevate your legs. “Yeah, not much else I can do right now.” Viv wanted to interject, but quickly realised she should let you feel your feelings. 

You quickly got uncomfortable and twisted so that your leg was laying in the armrest of the couch, and your head was in Viv’s lap. “Is this okay?” You ask her. “If you're comfortable, it is.”

With Viv's fingers playing with your hair, and the emotions of the day, you fell asleep quickly. Viv knew exactly what you were feeling, and hated seeing you in pain. She stayed by your side, and helped in any way she could, despite her own limitations. The rest of the team was still a great help, bringing meals, helping with chores, and plenty of emotional support along the way.

Recovery was tricky, the slowness and occasional setbacks were frustrating and very emotionally charged. You both struggled with the physical pain and the mental toll the injury took. There were moments where you shared tears and silent understanding, since you knew exactly what the other was going through, and there were moments filled with laughter and hope. 

One evening as you enjoyed a meal together, you turn to Viv. “So, I’ve been thinking.” Viv chuckles, “Yeah, you seem to be doing that a lot lately.” You’re quick to roll your eyes, you had plenty of time to think, and Viv had been the listening ear to the many questions that filled your mind. “I was thinking that you should move in permanently, if you want to. I’ve been enjoying your company, and I mean it’s not like you’re going to be able to climb those stairs at your place any time soon.” 

“Watch it, Y/l/n.” She shoves your shoulder playfully. “I would love to move in, but on one condition.” You look over intrigued. “We have to get a dog.” The two of you had talked about it before, how when Calvin or Rona were over, you would feel more motivated to go outside and move around. “I see what you did there, and I am not mad at it. Deal!”

With Viv’s stuff all in your apartment, with the help of your ever patient teammates, it was time to get to the dog part of the deal. Besides the motivation to walk around more, little Myle also gave the best cuddles, that made you fall in love with her instantly.

Everything seemed to be going upwards, both of you were making progress in your recoveries. Myle was settling in well, and was loving all the attention from the girls. But as the saying goes, it’s always one step forward and two steps back.

You were devastated to hear that Laura had gotten injured during practice, and the moment the three dreaded letters were mentioned, you had sprung into action. “You’re staying with us.” You didn’t leave room for arguments. “We’ve got you.” Viv added. 

With Laura moving into the guest room, Viv stayed in your room. While it was new, it didn’t feel weird. You had fallen asleep in her arms plenty of times on the couch. It felt right, natural even. 

Laura craved people around her during her recovery, so the team started doing weekly get togethers, besides the regular visits, where the focus would just be on having a good time. Tonight you were playing games, but you weren’t paying much attention. Katie couldn’t help but notice the playful banter, stolen glances and subtle touches.

“Alright, spill it.” Katie said, cornering you in the kitchen while the others were out of hearing distance. “What’s going on with you and Viv?” You furrow your brow in question, “What do you mean?” 

Katie chuckled, “Yeah, I think it’s too late to play dumb. You are so obviously into Miedema, just admit it.” You realise there was no getting out of this, so you spilled. “Fine, yeah, I like her. I like her a lot.” Katie’s smirk grew, “I knew it! You have to tell her. With the way she acts around you, there is no way that she doesn’t feel the same way.”

Her words kept playing in your head as you were cleaning up from the get together. Laura, who noticed the tension growing in the room, excused herself to lay down in her room, claiming to have gotten tired from all the interactions of the day. 

“Hey Viv, can you help me with these?” You are holding some of the board games in your hand, but you can’t quite reach the shelf they are supposed to go on without standing on your tippy toes.

“Yeah, of course.” With the few inches she had on you, she was able to place them perfectly. “Anything else, my dear?” She jokes, but in that moment there is only one thing that is going on in your head. “Yeah, actually there is.” 

Your eyes move between her eyes and her lips, “Kiss me.” You don’t know where you get the confidence to be so bold, but it pays off as Viv steps closer to you and lets her soft lips meet yours. With your heart beating out of your chest, you kissed her back instantly. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” Viv says with a big smile on her face. “Me too.” Your cheeks flush a dark shade of red. 

Both tearing your ACL’s was something horrible, but it got you together, and you would always be grateful for that. You still had quite a while to go in your recovery, and sadly the ACL Squad would get some new members over the following months. But, it made the team even stronger, as well as your relationship with Viv. 

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💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging!💗

[xxblairexxss]

Duty

Pairing : Charles Leclerc x pregnant!reader

Theme : Angst / fluff

It reached 3.4k before I could even do the climax so I’m just gonna drop this one first or else I’m gonna rush the next part and ended up ruining everything.

Google result! Let’s hope this is accurate. I spent hours on website trying to find this. PROM is a shorten for premature rupture of membranes!

Requested!

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Charles was ecstatically happy to start the new season with the brightest hope because of how he ended the previous one as the second place in the World Driver Championship, even more elated when this was his first time starting the new season as a new father-to-be but it was undeniable that Charles had been struggling since the first race.

He seemed to be developed a new trait as well as upgraded some of his old ones ever since your pregnancy. Your first pregnancy. He had asked you to stop accompanying him to races which resulted to a fight, and you claimed that he didn’t need your support anymore. He eventually gave in but with conditions where you needed to stay by his side all the time or if he was occupied, he would force Joris to stay with you. When you got into your second trimester, he had again, asked you to to stop attending the races but you still wanted to, so he gave in again but only allowed you to attend the qualifying and race day so you started missing his practice day, which caused the media to question about your absence and Charles had to reassure everyone how you had been doing fine, but he had to be stricter on you to avoid any unwanted accidents. When you entered your third trimester, he didn’t allow you to attend any of the races at all and this time, he didn’t give in, no matter what.

Even so, he never allowed you to be left alone. You would either be at his parent’s house, your parents’ house, or he would bring either one to your house.

No matter how much you reassured him.

“Charles, can I just stay here?” Your voice trailed off, already feeling gloomy from what he was gonna say. You were sitting on the bed, looking at your husband going in and out of the room packing his stuffs before his flight in a few hours.

“What was it, baby?” He walked back into the room, placing one of his perfume into the small luggage bag and cocked his brow, waiting for you to repeat what he had missed.

“I don’t want to go to my parents house this weekend.”

He heaved a sigh of defeat and it made you regret for bringing up the topic. “You know I’m doing this for your safety, right? Honey, I won’t be here for a week, that’s long enough. What if something happened?”

“I know but I’m not due for another month.”

He took your hand in his, thumb softly grazing on your knuckles. “You are already 35 weeks. I can’t take the risk of leaving you alone. The doctor told us you need to be careful as they suspected PROM, no?”

“But–“ You jutted your bottom lips, looking away when your husband tilted his head away, eyes squeezing shut when you tried to argue even more.

“But what, honey? Go on, I’m listening.”

“Y/F/N wanted to come over with her little girls this weekend. I just wanted to do a little movie night and bake some cookies with them.” You felt Charles moved his shirts that you were folding in front of you away and skittered closer, seeing how you refused to look at him now.

“Can I see your pretty face?”

He beamed, feeling his heart caught the eternity’s mist as you looked up to him with teary eyes. “My crybaby.” He had realised since you entered your second trimester, your hormones seemed to be ramped up and you had been in a constant mood swings and crying spells, crying at almost everything. He had told his mom, worried about it as he wasn’t sure why. Even after he talked to you a lot about it and she said it was normal, but it sure took him a while to get used to it.

“Charles..” You hit on his arm and he chuckled.

“Alright, alright. Just this one time, okay? Make sure to pick up my call and let me know if it hurts anywhere.”

“I love you!” You exclaimed and threw your arms around his waist, head leaning against his chest.

“I’m serious, Y/N. Let me know if anything happens. Don’t make me regret my decision. Promise?”

“Promise!”

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Few days passed, Charles got the podium for the second time in a row and you had been eagerly waiting for him to walk through the door. It was a shame you weren’t there to hug him as soon as he hopped off the fast car but he’d made sure you didn’t feel left alone as he called you right after, even mentioned you and his unborn daughter in his interviews.

“Congratulations! Two podiums in a row!” You threw you arms in the air and hopped, stopping when Charles held your waist.

“Careful, love.” He brushed his lips on your forehead, letting it linger against your skin. “I missed you, and you too, little one.” He bended down and stroked on your middle.

“I wanted to bake you muffins last night but I fell asleep because your child won’t stop kicking me.”

He placed his arm around waist, pulling you close as much as he could, another hand on the side of your belly. “It’s okay, I don’t mind. We can bake muffins together now that I’m home?”

“Are you tired?”

He pulled a funny expression and nodded impatiently. “I am worn out, baby. Total knocked out.”

“Can you buy me the matcha ice cream?”

“I bought you three tubs before I left, didn’t I?”

“I–“ You were going to tell him your excuse but ended up sucking your lips into a thin line, pulling away to pinch your husband on his arm. “Don’t look at me like that! I’m gonna cry!”

He winced and recoiled, hand leaving your belly to stroke on his waist where you just pinched. “Ow! What did I do?”

“You looked at me as if it was impossible for someone to finish three tubs of ice cream in one week! See? You are doing it again! I hate you.”

“What do you want me to do?” His mouth widen in disbelief and brought his palm up to cover his eyes. “Is this okay now?”

“Better.” You giggled and went back hugging his waist. You definitely missed hugging him without your belling getting in the way but it won’t be that long now. “Can you still get me the ice cream?”

“Of course, love. I’ll be right back.”

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Charles has been home for a week and day by day, you could see how he got progressively quite. He didn’t ignore you, didn’t raise his voice at you, he never did. He was still the husband that you wished every woman would have but he had been looking as if he was keeping a lot to himself.

“Charles?” You heard him hummed in response, his face is buried against your neck, his arm draped on your belly as you played with his hair. “Are you okay?”

“Why did you ask?”

“I feel like you are worrying about something. Talk to me, honey. What’s wrong?” He went silenced, his hand left your belly as he pulled away.

“I don’t know, Y/N. I’m just scared? No– worried. No– I’m not sure. Probably both.”

You placed your under your round middle as you turned, scooted facing your husband who looked like he was in a deep dejection. “Was it because of this weekend?”

“Yeah. I just can’t afford to disappoint them again, love.”

“How do you know you were gonna disappoint them?” You placed your hand on his neck, thumb brushing against his stubble. “Hm?”

“I don’t know. I just feel like it? It’s not the first time, honey.”

“Don’t be too harsh on yourself. It’s not even the race day yet but you are already assuming the worst. Give yourself a chance to prove yourself. I know my husband very well and I know he can ace everything thrown in his face.”

His lips turned into an upwards curve as he bended down to kiss your belly, hand patted on the side of it. “Mommy really knows how to cheer daddy up, doesn’t she? How I wish you could come too, baby.”

“We can come! Right, baby?” You replied, your hand strokes on the other side of your middle, voice filled with a hint of hope.

“No. I didn’t actually mean it, honey. It was hypothetical.” He straighten his body, and you saw the frown he always made whenever you told him you wanted to come to any races.

“But I really want to go..”

“You know what my answer will be, don’t you? I’m not gonna change it this time, Y/N.”

“This could be my last time attending your race before she comes. I don’t want to stay in the house. It’s getting boring and I have nothing to do.” You had been waiting for him to look at you as perhaps, there could be a tiny expectation where he would change his mind but he didn’t. “You’ll never understand.” You pulled your hand away, standing up to leave the living room.

“Baby,” He called out and of course, he got ignored. He knew it and wasn’t even expecting for you to reply. “Hear me out first. Y/N–“ You slammed the door and locked it before he could pushed it back. “Okay, locking the door is not it, honey.” He knocked and waited, but he didn’t hear anything. “Y/N, open the door.” Nothing. “Baby, please.” Still nothing. “Open the door or I’m gonna eat your ice cream. I’m serious.”

“You are mean.” He bit his lips, trying to hold his smile when you opened the door a second after, glaring at him with your arms folded.

“Oh? I’m the mean one when you just slammed the door and locked your husband out of the room? Baby, can you at least hear what I was gonna say?”

“I know what you’re gonna say. You don’t have to say it to my face.” You rolled your eyes and walked back to the bed.

“I thought you know how to read my mind. I was gonna ask you to be my date this Sunday but I think I got rejected.” He was going to stand up, pretending to be walking away but you gripped on his arm.

“Oh my god! Really? Can I really go to the race?”

“Last one before our little girl arrives.”

He gave in, yet again.

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You had been feeling cramps ever since the weekend arrived. Your back had been hurting since your third trimester but it hurt even more these days, especially when you laid down. You could barely fall asleep even when you tried to sleep sitting against the headboard so you always woke up feeling all worn out which caused you to lose appetite. Even your head hurt due to the lack of sleep.

Charles had realised you were somewhat different but every time he asked you, you would just brush it off, saying that it was normal for pregnant women to feel like this nearly the end of the pregnancy. He realised you didn’t ask him to buy anything that you craved for which you used to every single day. You had been really quite. You only took a bite out of your meal only when he caught you but every time he asked if you were fine, you would always say yes, telling him to stop worrying. He had been contemplating if he could skip practice day, in any way possible but you got so mad at him for “being silly”.

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You were sitting in front of your dressing table, contemplating about which scent you should go with when your belly went tight, as if going through another cramp and it made you winced in pain. Your body slightly bended towards your middle.

“Honey? Are you done?”

“Y– yeah, I’m almost done.”

“Hey.” Charles peeked his head and strode to where you were sitting, crouching down so he could see your face. “I know I’ve been asking you this for like the million times but are you really fine? You are worrying me, love. You don’t have to come if you are not feeling well.”

“I am fine! I am just excited. I promise.”

His hand went to your round belly and softly rubbed on it. “I saw your face scrunched up earlier. Is she giving you a hard time?”

“She just has been kicking non stop. She’s probably too excited to see his daddy wins the race.” You placed your hand on his and cackled.

“Oh, I’m not sure about that, baby.”

“You can, honey! We’ll be rooting for you!”

“If that’s what my girls wished for then I guess I could make it comes true. P5 to P1 doesn’t sound hard, does it? We need to go. Are you all set?” He stood up straight and pinched on your cheek. “You look beautiful, baby.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide the smile from the compliments. “Liar. Can you help me up?” You stretched out your arms for him to pull you up.

“Ready? 1, 2, 3!” His body was slightly slanted to give you enough space when you stood up. “I’m not lying. My wife is so beautiful I almost mistook her as an angel.”

“Whatever.”

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

They were expecting rain to come since it had been raining during both practice and qualifying round but it felt like the sun was just a hand fist away from your head the moment you stepped out of the car. The media had to make it worse since this was your first appearance in the paddock in your last semester where you looked undeniably pregnant now. They had to block your way when you just wanted to sit down as fast as you can, even after Charles had rejected every request. His arm never left your waist. He even shook his head to people who asked to interview him regarding the race, telling them that he would come back after he sent you to the Ferrari’s hospitality.

“Here’s your drink. Oh, and I also got you some chocolates because it’s hot and you always needed something sweet. Some vitamins which I’m not sure if you ever need them but, you know, just in case. And– “

“Charles, I’m fine. Go and do your duty as a driver, honey.” You held his hand that was halted in the air as he was searching for something else he could give you.

“Are you sure? You were trembling earlier, Y/N.”

“It was just the sun. I’m fine now. See?” You cupped his cheeks and giggled when he shivered, feeling your cold hands against his skin. “Go! Don’t make them wait.”

“I’ll come back to you before I have to get into the car. Don’t be in the garage. Stay in here. It’s more comfortable, alright? I love you.” He leaned in to kiss you and pecked on your shirt covered belly. “And you too, little one. Please be nice on mommy.”

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

You were lying through your teeth but Charles didn’t catch any of it. He was probably too nervous for the race as he could usually read you like an open book. Your cramps had been going on recurrently, your belly is hard to touch and it felt heavier. The steps taken from your car to the paddock made you out of breath, your legs were shaking from having to walk through the cramps but your husband knew nothing about any of it. You felt like the weather and the tension from earlier might had something to do with it. You weren’t going to tell him because he had enough on his plate and though you knew he didn’t mind it at all, you didn’t want him to do anything hasty on the race day. He had told you multiple times how he could skip the practice and even the qualifying round if you just told him something was wrong and if he knew about what you had been feeling these past few days, he wouldn’t even be attending this race and you couldn’t afford that. He was a Ferrari driver before he was your husband. This should be his priority, not you. It’s Monaco, he had always been the centre in every Monaco GP, what would the fans say if he, the only Monegasque in the grid was missing on the important day.

You weren’t sure why you had been feeling this way. Your due date was 3 weeks away. That was surely long enough. You even googled if it was possible for women to get Braxton hicks in their 37 weeks into the pregnancy but most of the answers sent you to shiver that you refused to read in detail and tried to hold it off, until the race, at the very least.

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

Charles couldn’t see you before he got into the car. He had been pushing his schedule back when he chose to stay with you in the hospitality earlier so he had no more gap before he race. He was now in the grid walk, fireproofs suit on as he was putting on the balaclava, the white-coloured open mask while one of his race assistant, Xavi was holding his helmet. “Where’s Joris?”

“He’s there. Joris!”

Joris came running from the side of the grid and Charles turned to look at him. “Please keep an eye on Y/N for me. I have a feeling she’s not telling me something.”

“Got it. You don’t have to worry about her.”

“If, God forbid, something happened to her during the race, please let me know. At any time of the race.” He then took the helmet from Xavi and gripped on Joris’s shoulder as he was about to walk away. “Promise me, Joris. Let me know. No matter what position I am.”

“Nothing will happen to her, Charles. I’ll be by her side. Just focus on your race.”

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

“Ow..” You winced, steps came to a halt as you placed your hand on the wall to hold yourself. The cramp became more and more intense you could barely stand up any longer than 5 minutes. Even a walk to the bathroom took you long enough as you had to keep on stopping or your legs would just give away. “Not too hard, baby..”

“Y/N, you okay?” Joris came and your face instantly became more at ease to hide the pain.

“I’m fine, Joris. I just feel a little hot.” He offered you a hand and as soon as you pulled your hand from the wall, your whole body became wobbly and Joris immediately caught you in his arms.

“Woah, woah, slow down. Let’s walk you back to the lounge area, alright? Just lean on me.”

You felt a chill as you started sweating abnormally though you were in an air-conditioned area. Soon as you took a step forward, everything became a blur and you lost control of yourself, giving in completely.

“Y/N!” You felt Joris’s body against yours as you fell to the ground. Your eyes were heavy that it felt like it required a huge amount of energy to force it opened and you let yourself capiltulated to the darkness.

Joris immediately called for a medic and he was told that you needed to be taken to the emergency room right away, making him even more overwrought as it sounded more serious than he thought. “Can you wait until I informed her husband first?”

“Sir, we are suspecting internal emergency. We can’t wait. Leave us her emergency contact number and we’ll call them to direct to the hospital.”

Internal emergency. Joris could barely think straight and became more perturbed. One because Charles had given him the responsibility to look over you and he thought it was just his friend being overprotective. Second because you had been more like a family, like a little sister to him so he didn’t want anything bad happened to you. He had given Charles’s parent a call, telling Pascale to call your parents as well before he barged into the garage. He couldn’t cross the pit lane due to safety precaution but the group of people who had direct access to the drivers’ radio were all sitting across the pit lane. He ended up grabbing a random engineer to help him passed the words. “Tell them to inform Charles that his wife had been brought to the emergency room.”

He then saw the engineer walked and whispered to the person in charge and felt a little relief because now all he had to do is wait for Charles so he could go to the hospital.

But he didn’t know none of his words were being conveyed.

“Charles,”

Silenced.

“Guys, I’m listening.”

“No, nothing. Just wanted to inform that we are sticking to plan A.”

“Copy that.”

Joris waited, and waited. He was so anxious he couldn’t even stand still. He saw Charles on the final turn and thought to himself that he was gonna came into the pit lane any second,

but he didn’t. His car passed the starting line again as he carried onto the next lap.

✧.* tags! @i83andrew @cltrlne @karmabyfernando @ohthemisssery @ru-kru @tastebaldwin @f1obessed @aundercover @love4lando @shinrjj

if your usernames were crossed meaning I can’t tag you 😭 let me know if you would like to be removed or added to the taglist! or if I missed anyone!

[aakhri-author]

bewitched.

[simon riley x baker!reader]

chapter 1: the rescue

desc: neighbour!simon helps you rescue a kitten, and unwittingly takes on the role of foster father to a mewling ball of fluff that loves destroying his trousers. however, he doesn’t mind it as much as he should; it’s hard to, obviously, when the situation also involves you - you in your pajamas, with little mudball in your arms, looking the perfect picture of domesticity.

word count: 2.2k

author's note: this is not how you nurse a rescued cat or kitten back to health. at least, i'm pretty sure it's not - please for the love of everything simon riley and good in this universe, do your own research. this is me taking artistic license and ignoring doing my own research to advance the plot. haven't written in a while, so this may happen again. be warned, and enjoy :)

p.s.: have something else you want me to write? drop a message and i'll try my best!

Tap, tap, tap.

Ghost shoots upright, arms thrown up in front of him, shoulders tense, as he grits his teeth and prepares for a fight. It isn't until a second has passed that his surroundings blink into existence. The grogginess in his eyes and the pain in his neck tells him he'd fallen asleep on the couch again; all because he couldn't be arsed to walk all the way to the cold bed. The low drone of the fridge, some late night talk show from the flickering TV, and the thunderstorm howling outside his one bedroom apartment were the only noises around him. Well, those and-

Tap, tap, tap.

There was someone at the door. 

Hackles raised, he slips his mask on; quiet footsteps map his way to the front door and he swings it open, muscles ready for a fight again, only to be greeted by -

‘Hi.’

Oh, it's you.

His neighbour, the baker leasing the apartment across his; making you two the only two tenants occupying the fifth floor. He remembers the day you’d moved in like it was yesterday, probably because the event was barely a fortnight stale. He’d been leaving for a grocery run in the morning after realising that he was out of, well, everything. The elevator had dinged as soon as he’d stepped out of his apartment, and he’d turned around to be greeted by the sight of you, wild hair and sweaty, struggling to push a box that probably weighed as much as you through the doors before they closed. He’d offered to help, and the rest had been history.

Well, if you count helping you get all the boxes into your apartment without ever speaking to you, gruffly refusing your offer of breakfast, turning around and fucking off right back to his apartment, history. He’d missed his breakfast that day, not wanting to risk an encounter with you. Since then, your encounters with him had been limited to polite smiles and mumbled greetings.

He looks at you, clad in a sweater and pajamas, with socked feet. Getting ready for bed, he assumed. Was his TV too loud? (He liked the noise; it helped drown out other stuff). Had you come to tell him off?

‘Um, I’m sorry to bother you.’

If you had, you were doing a terrible job so far.

He blinks at you again, standing in front of him, a pile of clothing and apprehension?

You stare up at him, eyes sparkling and a hesitant smile on your lips. ‘Right, I shouldn’t have come, sorry if I woke you up-’, you cut yourself short, already turning in a hurry to leave, as it dawns on Ghost that his lack of response probably didn’t encourage neighbourly fraternization. He cleared his throat and tried to relax, slouching a little to appear less intimidating.

‘You’re no bother, what d’ya need?’

You perk up at that, eyes brightening. And Simon’s not sure why his heart skips a beat, or why he suddenly feels like he would chew off his right toe to see you smile like that again. He squashes the feeling immediately, a bug under his boots - there’s no room for another person in his life. Not anymore. Especially not for you, a woman in her prime, all bright eyes and naivete-

You snap him out of his reverie when you speak, hands flapping around, ‘Great! It’s a little urgent, that’s why I came over at night, I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing so otherwise -’, you jabbed a thumb over your shoulder towards your apartment before looking over your shoulder at Simon, the man blinking as he registers that you’d gestured at him to follow you ‘- I think there’s a cat stuck on the fire escape near my balcony.’

A cat.

'You having trouble locating the cat?'

You grimace. 'Yeah, I'm not done unpacking yet and all the boxes are sort of stashed in the fire escape so the stairs are blocked, I'm trying to clear it, I swear it's priority-'

Simon resists the urge to pinch his brow. 'Ya realize that's the only thing stopping us from dying a fiery death?'

'Yeah, like I said, top priority - but can you help me?'

Simon swallows his sigh and swings the door close behind him as you swing around to your apartment.

His bare feet follow you across the hallway, having to duck a little to avoid the decorations hanging from your doorway. 'Already decorating for Christmas?'

You look over your shoulder to see what he's referring to. 'Not really,' you shoot him a sheepish smile, 'I just couldn't be arsed to find a place to stash them - putting them up was easier, so I just-'

A tiny, weak mewl interrupts you, and Simon's ears perk up. There definitely was some thing stuck somewhere, and he sees you speed up a little, urging him to follow.

Simon does so, even as he scoffs at your answer. 'Practical of you. What d'you plan on doin' after Christmas?'

This time, you answer without turning, locked in on your mission to guide him to the beast in need of aid. 'That's for January me to deal with. The escape's just over here.'

Simon knew that, being as your apartment's layout mirrored his. He didn't volunteer this information, though - he just dutifully followed you through the door, joining you at the railing.

You were almost leaning over the railing, craning your neck upwards to locate the cat, not listening to his barked out warning to be careful. Another mewl, sharper and louder this time, pierced the otherwise quiet night, and you stretched your body further, on the very tip of your toes, and Simon sees you wobble, losing balance -

He's moving before he registers it, dashing forward to grab you by the waist. Large hands secured around your waist pull you back down, and as soon as he sees you regain your balance, Simon retracts completely, hands by his side, almost snapping to attention.

You're looking at him with wide eyes, hand over your heart. 'Yo- um, thanks, I-'

Simon cuts you off, 'Here, let me do it.'

You take your phone out of your pocket and switch the flashlight on before handing it to him. He accepts it and nods at you before hoisting himself over the railing, swinging past the stacked boxes blocking the stairs, and hoisting himself back over the railing on to the escape. He scans the place with your flashlight, cursing the broken lighting of the building, before another sharp mewl tells him the location of the cat - a kitten, by the looks of it, trembling in the corner against the last step. He creeps his way towards it, a hand outstretched as if to signal he means no harm. The little beast makes no attempt to move, probably spent all its energy in shivering to stave off the cold, and he easily scoops the kitten up, tucking in under his armpit.

Simon looks up and sees you through the grate, eyes locked on him and hands wrung together. He gives you a thumbs up, and sees you burst into a bigger version of the smile you'd given him when he'd agreed to help, and Simon thinks yeah, wouldn't mind losing a toe or two in return for that, before making his way back up to you.

He passes you the shivering ball of fur through a gap in the boxes you'd managed to create and sees you immediately cradle it under your arm, before he makes his way back over the railing.

You stand in front of him and beam again, an arm reaching out to grab his. Simon clenches his muscles, gritting his teeth to avoid jumping in response to your touch, even as he registers your voice thanking him.

And then you immediately jump into action.

You obtain the blanket that has been thrown over your couch, and swaddle the kitten in it securely. Simon awkwardly follows you as you make your way to the unplugged space heater sitting in the corner beside your couch, just behind a small table with pictures and baking magazines on it.

You look at the heater, and then at him, and he knows what you're about to say. He doesn't let you expend the effort, leaning over the table and picking up the space heater before turning back to you.

You give him one of those smiles again, a grin this time - for fuck's sake, how many toes was that? - and point to the other end of your couch, to an unoccupied socket. 'You, um, you can just put it there, please.'

Simon bites back a smile of his own and obeys your request, bending down to plug the device in before switching the heater on and cranking it high. You breathe a sigh of relief before making your way to him, and crouch beside him. You turn to him and Simon is suddenly aware of how close your faces were. He straightens up, watching you look down at the kitten - not shivering any more - and look back up again at him. 'Thank you, Simon. Rescuing this little guy would've been a task without you.'

Simon, against his best wishes, pockets the way his name sounds in your voice to relish later. He offers you another nod. 'Glad I could be of service.' He looks at the furball you're cradling, thumb running over its head in gentle pats. 'Already know he's a guy?'

You shake your head. 'Nah, we just met - would be a tad inappropriate, no?' You look at the kitten and then back at him, patting the ground next to you. 'You want to hold him?'

Simon's drawn to your twinkling eyes, inviting him to share this little moment with you. He accepts your summons, crowding himself into the spot beside you. A zing of electricity shoots through his leg when your knee touches his - come on, SImon, what are you, thirteen - and he looks at you. You're holding the swaddled kitten to him, and he gingerly accepts it, cradling it the way you had been, making sure to be close enough to the heater but not too close.

You nod at him, 'You should name him.'

He starts at that, shaking his head at you, 'Nah, am rubbish at this shit, you do it.'

You shake your head right back in return, 'Nope, you rescued it - it's only right you get to name it.'

Simon sighs, looking down at the thing asleep in the blanket. 'Fine.'

A moment passes before he looks at you again, and he finds you sitting there with wide, expecting eyes.

'Fuckin' hell, give a bloke some time to think.'

Your laughter chimes in his ears. 'Alright, alright. Wouldn't want you naming him shitstain or something.'

He takes offence at that. 'And why is that a name you think I'd go for?'

You shrug, and your sweater slips slightly off your shoulder. It takes him all his training to keep his gaze firmly on your eyes. 'Every other word out of your mouth is a curse. It's not an unfair assumption to make, Simon Riley.'

It's the first time he's heard his name, his full name, from someone not barking orders. Simon relinquishes.

You nod, satisfied. 'Would you want to stick around for a cup of cocoa? Though it'll probably be after this one's been fed - I have some chicken I could make into a paste. I'll get the good stuff tomorrow.'

Simon hesitates, almost falling into the pattern of saying a polite no, thanks, should head to bed, almost takes the easy way out. That's what's comfortable - shrinking back, blending in, being invisible. But you're looking at him, raised eyebrows and tilted head, and he feels braver. 'Yeah, sounds nice,' he croaks out, and you get up and brush off your clothes.

He averts his eyes when you turn around, not wanting to inadvertently stare at your ass, when he feels a soft thump next to him.

The knitted blanket you'd thrown to him was decorated with little black cats wearing witch hats. He looks up at you, and you gesture to the T-shirt he had on, 'In case you needed some warming up yourself'.

Simon was okay with the late November chill, having braved far worse, but the blanket (accompanied by your smile) promised warmth he'd forgotten could exist. He gratefully accepts your gift, but struggles in having only one free hand to drape the blanket over himself.

'Oh- here-'

You tug the blanket over his shoulders, and nod in response to his gruff thanks, 'ppreciate it, before heading to the kitchen.

SImon's left to his own, and he starts whistling a low tune, thumb brushing over the kitten's tiny head as it snores away in his lap, a strange warmth blooming in his chest. His gaze falls on the pattern adorning the blanket around his shoulders, and suddenly, the perfect name pops into his head.

Hex.

Simon nods, as if affirming the decision. He hears you bustling in the kitchen as the air fills with the warm scent of hot cocoa. Simon idly wonders if you'd add marshmallows to the drinks.

He holds the kitten up to eye level, even though it simply stretches and falls back asleep.

'Be good to her, eh, Hex?'

[fourmoony]

Just thinking about Sirius trusting reader enough to do his hair :,) or maybe she experiments with putting his hair in curlers/curling it. I could even imagine Sirius owning a Dyson airwrap to have the best blowouts 😭💀

Sirius would 100000% own the dyson air wrap!!! Thanks for requesting, babe!

cw: none

750 words, modern au

You're not sure where Sirius learned his money managing skills from (or if he even has any), but the pleased smile and child-like excitement over his brand new hair dryer is something you refuse to admonish. Though, you're sure even if you tried, you'd fail.

Your boyfriend bounces happily on the balls of his feet, hair sopping wet and plastered to his face. Water droplets seep into his grey shirt but Sirius doesn't seem to care. Not when he's too busy making bedroom eyes at the unopened box on the bathroom counter. He'd been so happy when John Lewis finally had the Dyson Air Wrap back in stock, had dragged you out of bed this morning to drop an easy five hundred quid on it. Your head had spun with the realisation of just how rich your boyfriend actually is.

He's not flashy with his money. Irresponsible, yes. But being there to witness a classic Sirius-Black-Irresponsible-Purchase had really solidified the knowledge that your boyfriend is filthy rich.

"Okay, I'll grab a stool and you set it up." He says, turning to make for the stool that sits under your dressing table.

"Wait, you want me to do it?" You yell after him.

Sirius makes noise everywhere he goes. He's loud and abrasive, jagged around the edges. He loves so loud that it only makes sense his entire personality is the same. There's thumps and grumbles as he bumps into things all the way along the hall, the tell tale sounds of the stool scraping along your freshly painted hallway. "Well who else would do it?" Sirius rounds the corner, flashes his teeth in a wide grin that he knows will make you fold.

"What makes you think I'm qualified?"

Sirius shrugs, "The fact that I'm one hundred percent not. You're good at everything, sweetness."

He knows flattery works like a charm, especially when he pairs it with his best flirty eyes. You sigh, reaching for the box and unravelling all of the corresponding pieces. It's high tech, incredibly high tech. Sirius fidgets on the stool as you watch a video on your phone, lips curled between your teeth in concentration.

It takes a while to get the hang of, and you're sure you'll get better in time. Sirius softens and relaxes as much as he ever allows himself to as your fingers work through his hair, as you brush and comb and dry it. He hums and sighs and even closes his eyes. It's peaceful and intimate and it allows you to come to a startling realisation that Sirius has never asked you to do his hair for him before.

He's not prissy about his hair. He'll let anyone touch it. He actually begs for people to play with his hair. But he's never outright asked you to fix it up for him, prefers to get it sitting perfect by himself because he believes it to be his best asset. You'd have to disagree with him on that. His eyes never fail to amaze you, nor his smile.

"All done." Your voice seems to pull him out of a daydream.

His eyes open and he smiles wide, turning in the stool in an instant until he can take your hands in his. "Bad news, sweetheart, you're going to have to do this every day." He informs you, standing until his hands can reach your hips.

He pulls you into him, a little roughly, but catches you with his own body, lips ducking down to press to your forehead. You resist the urge to tell him you'd be happy to do his hair every day, if only to feel the intimacy and pride of being the one person he trusts to style his hair.

"Such a travesty." You feign indifference, lips pressed to his collar bone where it peeks out of his shirt.

Sirius shivers at the contact. "Easy, sweetness. I know my hair is super hot and stuff, but we have dinner reservations with James and Remus. They'll get pissy if we cancel to have sex."

"Again." He adds after a second.

You scoff, pushing your boyfriend away whilst he barks with laughter. Heat creeps up your neck as you exit the bathroom, ignoring Sirius' shouts down the hallway that he could make an exception for a quickie.

"Thanks, baby!" He calls a moment later.

You can't fight the smile that toys at your lips as you pick out an outfit for dinner.

[thegettingbyp2]

Can you write with the reader help stuff with his blood lust , animals blood ain't going to do it no more , she's human

Let Me Help

You were worried about Stefan.

The few times he’d gone off the rails, he’d been able to semi-bounce back, being back to normal only a couple of weeks after. It had been three months since he’d last lost control and he still refused to come out of the cellar of the Salvatore Boarding House.

‘You know I can hear you sitting out there,’ Stefan called from where he was sitting on the small bed behind the locked door. You were sitting with your back to the door, reading your book, waiting for him to come out, much like you’d done every day since he’d locked himself in there.

‘Then you should know that I’ve sat here for the last three months and I’ll sit here until you decide to come out,’ you replied, not looking up from your book.

There was a moment of silence before you heard Stefan’s voice, quieter than last time. ‘Why?’

Standing up and brushing any dust off of your trousers, you looked through the small barred window in the door, feeling your heart break when you saw Stefan sitting there, his head low, clenching and unclenching his fists. ‘Because I love you, Stefan. I’m not going anywhere.’

Stefan lifted his head. When he saw you, you saw his face soften and his shoulders slump slightly. ‘(Y/N), you really need to go,’ he said quietly.

‘No.’

‘(Y/N), go, please,’ Stefan begged.

‘No,’ you protested, unlocking the door and stepping in before closing the door again behind you. At the sound of the door, Stefan’s expression turned into one of panic as he quickly got up and walked towards you, trying to push you back towards the door. He moved you back until your back slammed against the wooden door and you gasped slightly in pain, making Stefan let go of you straight away.

‘(Y/N), you can’t be in here right now, I can hurt you, I could - ’

‘You won’t, I trust you Stefan,’ you said, reaching out to rest your hand on his cheek, not failing to notice the way he flinched at your touch. Gently, you led him back over to the small bed, sitting down next to him. ‘Stefan, what’s going on?’

‘It’s not working this time, (Y/N),’ Stefan said in practically a whisper, head down and refusing to look up at you.

‘What do you mean it’s not working?’

‘The animal blood. It’s not stopping the cravings this time. I don’t know why but that’s why you need to leave. I can’t trust myself around you at the moment.’

Moving off of the bed to kneel in front of him, you gently took his wrists in both of his hands, pulling them away from his face to make him look at you. ‘Then we find another way, Stefan. You don’t have to drink animal blood and you know that.’

‘You know what happens when I don’t. That’s what’s gotten me into this mess in the first place.’

‘You can drink from blood bags, Stefan, you’ll be okay - ’

‘No,’ Stefan interrupted, shaking his head as he looked at you. ‘I can’t.’

‘Then drink from me,’ you said suddenly. You hadn’t realised what you had said until you saw the horrified look in Stefan’s eyes but, the moment you said it, you couldn’t stop thinking about how it was such a good idea.

‘No.’

‘Just think about it, Stefan! I can help you through this! Let me help you, you can drink a little bit each day, drink blood bags if you need more. You can do this, Stefan.’

‘I can help, brother.’ Damon’s voice came from the doorway, neither of you realising when Damon had come down. ‘Watch over, be here to pull you back if things start heading south.’ You turned your head at Damon, smiling at him softly in thanks.

‘See, you won’t hurt me. Neither you or Damon would let you hurt me. Please, Stefan.’

Stefan was silent for a while, making you nervous before he looked back at you and to his brother. ‘You’ll stop me if I get carried away?’ he asked, looking over at Damon warily.

‘Cross my heart and hope to die, brother,’ Damon replied, smirking at his answer. ‘Let her help,’ he added on, serious this time.

Stefan looked from his brother back to you before nodding, holding his hand out to you. You were quick to take it as Stefan pulled you up until you were straddling his lap. Once you were settled on his lap, he cupped your cheeks and tilted your head up until you were looking him in the eye. ‘The second I hurt you or you want to stop, you let me know, okay?’

‘You won’t hurt me, Stefan,’ you repeated for the umpteenth time, ‘but, yes, I’ll tell you if you need to stop,’ you conceded when you saw the way he looked at you.

‘I love you so much,’ he whispered, resting his forehead on yours as he squeezed his eyes shut.

‘I love you too,’ you replied softly, slowly moving Stefan’s head until he was resting in the crook of your neck. You heard him inhale shakily. ‘Go on, Stefan, let me help you,’ you coaxed, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck as you felt his fangs pierce your skin.

[katelynnwrites]

The Very First Night | Laura Freigang x Baby!Reader

warnings: mentions of preemie baby medical stuff

word count: 586

summary: your first night at home with your Mama isn't as smooth as she would have liked

a/n: part of Laura's Honigbiene

The first night that you are home with your Mama is the scariest of her life.

You are still so tiny, so fragile and she’s terrified to hold you without the nurses and doctors around.

You’d been so calm the whole way home from the hospital and for the first few hours that you spent alone with Laura.

Then you start crying.

And no matter what your Mama tries, you don’t stop.

She attempts to give you a feed but you refuse to accept the bottle. Your diaper is dry and she can’t figure out what’s wrong.

‘Please Honigbiene. Oh please you have to stop.’ She begs, cradling you in her arms as she paces the length of her apartment.

You are exhausting yourself with the way your little arms and legs flail around but your screaming doesn’t stop . Or even lessen and Laura is near tears herself.

‘Please baby please.’

She’s extremely worried now because your breaths are coming in sharp gasps and you seem to be choking on your own tears.

Your entire face is red and scrunched up, your Mama trying her best to soothe you.

You haven’t eaten in hours and the striker knows how crucial it is to get you to drink your milk.

As a preemie, your growth is even more important than that of a normal newborn.

It had been heavily monitored in the neonatal intensive care unit and you had been steadily putting on weight there.

Laura is anxious to have you continue your progress but she doesn’t know how to do that if you won’t even stop crying, let alone accept your bottle.

Your distressing cries take its toll on your Mama and she lets out a heartbroken sob.

‘Honigbiene, I’m sorry but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.’ She whispers.

It’s already in the middle of the night and Laura is seriously considering just getting you in the car and taking you back to the hospital.

She wants to call her own mother for advice but it’s too late for that. She is certainly asleep by now.

Desperately, she tries one last thing.

Lying against the headboard of her bed, your Mama strips her shirt and bra off and you of your onesie.

She rests you against her bare chest, hands carefully holding you in place.

‘Let this work please. Please baby, you have to calm down. All this crying isn’t good for your breathing.’

The German woman hasn’t given you kangaroo care in a while, not since the doctors told her she could safely cradle you in the hospital.

But she hasn’t forgotten how much you love it.

‘Mama’s here Honigbiene.’ She murmurs, gently wiping away some of your falling tears.

Laura thinks she must be imagining it when your sobbing starts to taper off.

Then she realises she’s not because with one final hiccup, you quiet down.

‘Is this what you wanted?’ She half laughs, half sighs with relief.

Gingerly, she reaches for your bottle and her relief intensifies when you begin to drink eagerly.

There’s only the soft sound of your sucking filling the room and she soaks in the much more peaceful atmosphere.

The feeling of your body against her chest calms Mama down as much as it does you.

Your Mama keeps her eyes on you, watching carefully as you drain the bottle.

‘You’re going to be okay, Honigbiene. We’re going to be okay because we’ll figure it out as we go along. I love you so much.’ She promises.

German Translation:

Honigbiene - Honeybee

[0san-ta0]

I Wish I Could Forget About You| g. clarkey (Part 2)

synopsis ★ george and y/n have been on 'break' for a while, leaving them both miserable and reflective. when they finally meet again the heart finally gets what it wants.

pairing ★ fem!reader x george clarkey

author's notes ★ hi! hope you're having an amazing day/night! sorry for the long wait life's been pretty hectic but I hope you enjoy!! <33

it had been a month since you sat in your living room and watched george drag his stuff out of your apartment. you had to be honest with yourself, the first two weeks were hell. of course you had partially become accustomed to george not being around but, back then there was the tiny thought in the back of your mind that he would return to you. now as the days kept moving you started to think that maybe he never would be back. your time was made even worse as george hadn't stopped texting and calling the entire time and you were stupid enough to listen to his voicemails which left you in absolute shambles.

he begged you to take him back, he begged for you to atleast let him hear your voice or to atleast look at him. the day he left he returned to his shared apartment where he walked past his friends without as much as a hello and holed himself up in his room. the boys could feel the sadness emanating from him as his door slammed shut and they could only imagine what he had went through. george sat on the floor infront of his bed and cried, for the first time in years he let tears flow down his cheeks. he hadn't realised how badly he fucked up. how his actions towards you had hurt you so much. he didn't blame you for leaving, he couldn't blame you for leaving. but god, the two weeks were the worst he had ever had in his life. not being able to see your face, to touch your skin, to even just smell your perfume was driving him mad. coupled with the immense bullying he faced from all his friends after he relayed the events from the night before, his life was horrible.

both arthur's were your biggest advocates when george started ranting to them about your decision. they both had been big in reminding him that he needed to make sure that he was giving you adequate love and attention because you were amazing to him. now it was them drilling it into his head that in this case he was absolutely in the wrong and that all they could advise him was to apologise to you and try to take accountability. but it was hard to apologise when you refused to even read his texts. he needed to try though because without you it felt pointless living. after the second week he decided that he would give you space to think and process what was happening and honestly, he hated it even more than just being away from you.

from your perspective, you were equally or even more miserable. you were second guessing your decision, wishing only to kiss and make up with george. the voice in the back of your head reminding you that you need to stand your ground and get a decent relationship. putting aside your morals now, wasn't going to help the situation or get george to miraculously change his ways.

you spent your days wandering around your apartment rearranging everything, hoping it would erase the memories. but it only ended up being a sick joke as everything you touched made you remember george. the couch where he would lay in your lap whilst you watched your favourite movies or the kitchen where he would place you on the counter and kiss you senseless. you missed his you touch, his scent, his presence, you missed everything about him.

a knock sounded on your door and you turned your head to stare at it. a groan escapes your lips as you stand, sulking towards the door. leaning forward you look through the peephole and your eyes are met with a familiar head of blonde hair.

"y/n, please. I know you're there. I just....." he trails off taking a breath, "I just need to talk to you. please, I can't take it anymore."

his voice through the door was muffled but you could hear the hesitation in his voice. through the peephole you watched as his shoulders slumped and ran a hand through his hair.

before you have the time to register what you were doing, your hand reaches forward to unlock the door. outside george's head perks up and comes face to face with you. his eyes are bloodshot and puffy, his skin blotchy and red. your heart felt heavy as you stared at his disheveled appearance, regretting every decision she had made leading up to this moment.

he opened his mouth to speak but before he could say a word you put up your hand to stop him. "george?" was all she could muster before you felt tears threatening to fall again.

"sorry for showing up unannounced. I just really needed to see you, honestly life's been horrid without you. and I know that you leaving was all my doing but all I need is a minute of your time to apologise. if after that you don't want to take me back then that's fine but please just listen." he sputters out, eyes burning into yours.

you give him a simple nod of your head and he continues. "I've spent the past few weeks listening to arthur giving me shit about how I acted towards you and I can tell you now that the way I acted towards you was absolutely disgusting. you have every right to hate me but I just need you to know that I'm sorry. and I know that sorry can't even begin to fix what we had but i just need you to know that I understand what I did and I promise to you that I will never ever let you become a second place in my life. I promise that if you forgive me that I will never ever take you for granted again because being without you has been the worst experience of my life and I never wish to experience.."

then your resolve snapped and all you could do was lean forward to press your lips to his, effectively cutting off his rant. his arms snacked around your waist and your arms found their way to his shoulders. you'd missed moments like these, moments where it felt like you were the only two people in the world, where you felt like wanted and needed.

pulling away you stared into his eyes for a brief moment. "I missed you too george. But, if you think for a moment that I will ever let you hurt me again and be as forgiving as I am now then you're sorely mistaken."

he gazed at her, nodding quickly, "thank you for giving me another chance. you have nothing to worry about and If you ever believe that I'm not loving you enough then you can leave, no questions asked."

[iamnotoriginalphil]

Hey! I love your writing. I’ve been wanting Kate Stewart fics for years now so I’m glad you started writing for her!

Could you write a Kate Stewart x Reader fic where the reader is insecure about how she looks and doesn’t feel like she’s good enough for Kate so she becomes distant and Kate gets worried, and it ends with Kate finding out why she’s been distant and ends up reassuring and comforting her?

How can I not write for her when I love her so much?

CW: self-esteem issues, boss/employee relationship, hurt/comfort, angst

You weren’t hiding. That would be childish. You’d just retreated into the quiet corner to get on with your paperwork. You had reports to write, and some labs to finish up. It was normal. Nothing odd. Nothing to raise concern.

It just also didn’t hurt that it was far enough from Kate that she couldn’t see you.

The feeling had been creeping up on you for a while now. Small things that led to the dread and anticipation sitting heavy in your stomach. Even before the entire thing had started, you’d known it was too good to be true. It was only a matter of time before Kate realised it too. 

The longer it went on, the worse it became. Every morning, rolling out of bed, staring in the mirror, the list of reasons for why Kate shouldn't be with you just grew longer. It was easy to forget when her lips turned your thoughts hazy and her hands made you forget your own name. But the cold harsh light of day just highlighted the truth.

“There you are.”

You looked up from your laptop. Kate was in the doorway, leaning one hip against the frame, arms crossed over her chest, backlit by the light in the hall. Her annoying habit of knowing every corner of the building seemed to have done you no favours. The soft glow made her look ethereal, like an angel come to save you. 

“Hi,” you said, turning your attention back to your work.

“What are you doing in here?” she asked.

“Darren kept humming and I needed some peace and quiet to get everything done,” you replied, still not looking at her.

It was only the sound of her heels clicking against the floor that let you know she was approaching you. Something soft brushed your elbow and you glanced over at her from the corner of her eye. She was sitting beside you, leaning back on the wall, legs straight out in front of her. 

“You couldn’t ask him to stop?” she asked.

“It was easier to just remove myself,” you replied, refusing to turn your head towards her.

“For who?” 

“Can we not do this right now?” you said, finally looking over to her. 

There was a grim smile on her face and she looked tired, shoulders slumped and shadows under her eyes. You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose, not able to stop yourself. It was stupid, to so obviously show your frustration when she’d come looking for you, obviously tired, and you were only adding to her plate. And yet you couldn’t help it. 

“You’ve been working a lot of late nights lately,” she said.

“I’ve been catching up on stuff,” you said.

“You’ve been staying later than me,” she said, “I didn’t know that was possible.”

“Yeah, well, my boss is a real arse,” you said, turning back to your screen.

She chuckled, leaning towards you. Her shoulder pressed into yours more firmly and you wanted to shuffle away from her but knew she’d notice. There was no hiding it behind another excuse. Nothing else to blame it on. 

Still, she must have felt you freeze.

“I know you haven’t had weeks worth of work to catch up on,” she said, voice more quiet than before, but not soft. 

“I have,” you said, “you know how much work comes with the job.”

“I feel like I’ve barely seen you. You leave before I’m up and come home after I’m asleep. When I do see you it’s like you’re not really there with me. Or we’re not talking because your mouth is otherwise engaged,” she said with a sad little huff on the end, “I’ve been missing you.”

“You know where to find me,” you said, “clearly.”

“I’ve scoured the building for you. You hardly wanted to be found,” she said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said.

“You’re sitting in the dark.”

You sighed, closing your laptop, plunging you back into proper darkness. She took it from you, gentle as she lifted it off your lap. She put it to one side. You looked over to her, finding her already watching you. 

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” she asked.

“Nothing,” you sighed, “nothing is going on.”

“Surely you can’t expect me to believe that.”

You gritted your teeth, jaw clenching. Her fingers were soft as they brushed over the curve of your jaw, featherlight, as if she was scared to touch you. You took a deep shuddering breath in, surprised at the way your heart beat too hard, almost painfully, bruising against your ribcage. 

“Are you looking to end things with me?” she asked, voice soft as she clasped her hands in her lap again.

“What?” Your voice was sharp in the silence.

“You’ve been pushing me away for weeks now, avoiding me, hiding from me. It doesn’t take a genius to work out your issue is with me. So, will you be moving out?” she asked.

“My issue isn’t you,” you said, “you’re… perfect.”

“Well, now I know you’re lying,” she laughed.

“No, really. You’re amazing and beautiful and wonderful. I’m the one letting the side down,” you said.

“What do you mean?” she asked, shifting closer.

“I’m not amazing and beautiful and wonderful,” you said. 

“What on Earth are you talking about?” she asked, sounding a mixture of baffled and offended. Which was pretty much exactly what you didn’t want to happen. 

If you pointed out all the ways you weren't good enough for her you’d be signing your own marching orders. Once she realised there would be no chance she’d stick around with you. You had assumed she’d come to the realisation on her own. But to be the one to tell her…

You pressed the heels of your palms into your eyes until colours burst behind your eyelids. A strong grip grasped your wrists, pulling them away until you were looking into the warm brown eyes of the woman you loved.

“Talk to me, darling,” she requested, sounding heartbroken.

“You know, every morning I wake up and wonder if today will be the day you realise you can do better. If you’ll realise what I realised when we got started. That I lucked out and tricked you into thinking I was worth your time but of course I’m not. It was just a matter of you noticing too,” you said, pulling your legs up until your knees were under your chin and your arms could wrap around them. 

Her hands found yours again, ignoring the way you’d pulled out of her hold already. Her skin was warm against yours, her touch familiar. You knew the feeling of her hands better than anything else. It hurt, to be touched by her, in that moment.  

“There is nothing to notice.” Her voice was firm and it made you flinch, “or at least, not the kinds of things you’re implying.”

“You’re just saying that because you haven’t yet,” you whispered.

“Tell me.”

“Tell you what?” you asked.

“The things you think I should be noticing,” she said, keeping her voice soft, coaxing you, the way you’d seen her do in the field when she was dealing with a scared fugitive. 

“You want me to tell you all the reasons you should break up with me? Fine. Do you want them in alphabetical or chronological order?” 

“You’re being flippant,” she said, sounding less than impressed.

“Wouldn’t you be?” you demanded.

“Darling, tell me,” she requested, cupping both of your cheeks, refusing to let you out of answering.

“Look at me,” you said.

“I am,” she said.

“Then you can see it. I’m not beautiful like you. I’m not smart like you. I can’t do half of the things you can. You can do so much better than me. I’m nothing compared to you. And I think you’re so amazing and I know I can never measure up. And so yeah, maybe I’ve been a bit distant but it’s because I’m trying to make sure I’m not too hurt when you wake up and realise you can do better and end things with me.”

You watched in real time as understanding bloomed over her face. You braced, tensing with every muscle for the blow that you knew was coming. Only then her face was softening and you were sure she was going to try and be so nice about it. 

“Oh darling,” she sighed and there was the pity coming in strong.

You pushed against her shoulders, trying to get her away from you. Gasping for breath, feeling a sob bubble up in your chest, you needed room. It was too much with her right there, right in front of you, staring at you, watching you so closely there was no room for you to fall apart. 

“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes,” she sighed, her thumbs running along your cheekbones.

“Stop being nice to me,” you said, snapping if not for the broken moan of pain your words turned into. 

“Not until I know you’re hearing me,” she said, “because I happen to think you’re bloody brilliant.”

You scoffed but her hands were still on your cheeks, not letting you look away from her. 

“Darling, the first time I saw you, you stole my breath. You were, and continue to be, the most beautiful person in the room. And it’s only grown more true the longer I’ve known you because I know who you are now. I’ve never seen anything that I’ve found disappointing. Unless you’ve been lying to me or hiding things from me, I think I have a pretty good sense of who you are,” she said, her voice growing firmer, the kind of voice that didn’t allow for arguments, “are you listening to me?”

You nodded, a small thing, but with her hands on you and those eyes refusing to look away there was no chance of her missing it. She lent forward again, her grip tightening.

“You are what I want in every possible way. There is no part of you I don’t want. I am proud to have you by my side and more than that, I’m proud to love and be loved by you,” she said, “I apologise if my actions or words have ever made you believe otherwise. Hear me now. You are beautiful, and wonderful, and everything I have ever wanted.”

Her fingers brushed away the tears as they fell until they came too fast to catch them all. Your arms were still around your knees, a barrier from her body and yet the strong steady warmth of her palms was seeping in where they met your cheeks. Your chin dipped towards your chest, not wanting her to watch as you fell apart, spine pressed into the wall, shrinking back even as she stared at you, drinking in every moment. 

“You’re only saying that because you don’t realise-” you tried to say.

“I do. I do realise. I see you. All of you in your entirety. I have seen every single part of you including your flaws, and I still choose you. Every moment of every day I’m choosing you. You’re the one I want. The only one I want,” she said, interrupting you before you could begin again. 

Her hand slipped from your cheek and she pressed closer, her hand on your knees, pushing them down until she could get as close as possible without being in your lap. Your own hands were twisting together and you couldn’t look at her. If you did you were worried it would crack you open, leaving you a vulnerable mess in front of her, ripe for the hurting. 

“Darling, I can’t do better than you. You’re it,” she said.

You were slow to drag your gaze back up to her, finding her already broken open in front of you. Her own words had splayed her skin back, showing you her beating heart, waiting for your soft touch to stitch her back together. Reaching out, a trembling hand crossing the distance, your fingertips brushed over her lips, whisper soft. She caught your hand, pressing it more insistently to her mouth as she kissed your fingertips, your palm, the pulse point in your wrist. 

“I love you so much,” you whispered on broken breath.

“That’s a relief,” she said with a small smile, “I was hoping after my little speech you wouldn’t turn me away.”

“I could never,” you said.

And then you were falling forward into her arms, letting her catch you. Her arms curled around your body, gathering you close, surrounding you in every way. Your face pressed into her shoulder and she let the tears soak into the fabric of her blazer. Hand splayed between your shoulder blades, the other on the small of your back, she kept you pressed against her and a part of you wondered if she needed you to steady her as much as you needed her. 

“I love you, darling,” she murmured in your ear.

You sought out her lips, blind in your need. She sighed into your mouth, her hand coming up to cradle the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair. You did what she hadn’t and climbed into her lap, not caring you were at work or that someone could walk in. You just wanted to sink into her, to let her knit you back together into a person. 

“Please don’t pull away from me anymore,” she whispered, her lips brushing against yours, “please.”

“I won’t,” you promised, mumbling into her mouth, “I won’t.”

It was soft and slow, both of you taking your time now you knew you had the rest of your life. There was no hurry, just the feeling of needing to know she was with you and wasn’t leaving. She held you tight, keeping you pressed to her, as if trying to absorb you into her being. You would let her, if it was possible.

“We should go home, darling,” she said, drawing back just far enough to share breath, “I think you’ve put in enough late nights to make your boss happy.”

“Can we get a take away?” you asked.

“Of course we can,” she said, gently pushing some hair behind your ear, “as long as we can also take a long hot bath afterwards.”

“That sounds nice.”

You clambered off her lap, helping her to her feet. Her arm looped around your waist, keeping you close, as if worried you’d do a runner if she didn’t. You pressed yourself to her side, not wanting to stray too far from her either. 

You were never going to stray far from her again.