#struggled a lot bc i don't do bgs often

[roobylavender]

HI i really enjoy your blog and the wide variety of interests and topics you talk about :') i'm also desi diaspora btw and i like hearing your perspective on diaspora issues too! i have a personal question if it's alright - pls ignore this ask if you don't wanna answer it, i would totally understand but - lately i've been hearing a lot abt making more private spaces unisex like public bathrooms etc, and i was wondering how u feel about this also considering your ethnic/religious background? like personally whether it's in past school sports teams or currently sharing my space with fellow med students where we often have to rapidly change scrubs and stuff i've never felt comfortable changing in front of male strangers etc, and while i know i'm naturally a reserved/introverted person i also know that the way i was raised and my family's traditions/culture has a lot to do with it lol... for this reason and also in general bc of all the stories i hear from back home abt femicide, r*pe, etc in south asia and west asia, i don't think i'd ever be completely comfortable with a man unless i knew him v well. but also i think most women even outside our ethnic bg feel similarly (like idk if u saw but recently there was this viral series of tweets where women said they'd rather encounter a bear in a forest than a man while they were isolated)... considering the number of stories of everyone from sports coaches to male doctors to male prison wardens assaulting their female patients, or how so many countries have epidemics of bathroom stall cameras and peeping toms, i can't help but feel that this wariness is justified. also the risk of hate crimes/violent assault is like a million times greater from men than women so idk if it would even be wise for gay, gnc, trans-identified ppl etc to share private spaces with them... so i'm struggling to unpack my feelings abt this and also i feel like girls and women shouldn't have to put aside our discomfort (that's been well-validated for so many millennia) idk... i was wondering if you felt similarly since from what i've seen u also come from a similar background as me? thank you!!

i don't mind answering! personally i'm also pretty self conscious about changing and used the bathroom stalls in school when it was time for gym class lol. but i think what we need to understand about an ideology or movement like this is that it's necessary to engage with it faithfully and materially. i think a lot of the reactionary attitude towards gender abolition tends to stem from the idea that abolition is an immediate conclusion and not a process that will take time and several steps to achieve. so it's not a movement that persists in ignorance of all of the issues you listed above but actually with an acute awareness of and desire to address them individually and collectively so that we can make it to a point where the conclusions of gender abolition become a reality. obv that will take a lot of time! but the point is to believe in and help curate that outcome no matter how long it takes to do so. and a lot of that will come down to deconstructing and restructuring how we as people are socialized from birth. men aren't born into misogyny, they're nurtured into it. and if we want women to be safer in the long term we need to invest in a future where we purge misogyny at the outset. which again! will certainly take a lot of time and an extensive effort from all walks of people (as well as require addressing multiple aspects and sectors of society beyond those immediately related to gender). but it's very important not to give into bioessentialism and believe that men are fundamentally incapable of co-existing safely with women. they very much can provided deliberate and extensive structural upheaval of gender politics as it exists today and that is what we need to focus on!

[forgotteneabha]

IM LAUGH alaric legit like 'which sounds worse? marrying my star-crossed crush's best friend and thus being forced to see her, all the time, even when we ~aren't at family functions while tryna navigate not hurting my brother, my wife, or my crush and knowing i'll be a lil sad forever bc things'll never be quite how i wanted them to be...or having valentina as a mother-in-law???????' jk jk no but honestly poor alaric!!!!! his whole situation honestly sucks!!!!

but honestly i do think that, if marriage were ever to go ahead between them, or whatever, she'd legit do her best to be a good wife to him/mother to his children, etc!!!! obv she'd ~also do her best to be a good lady to farrington AND to the ppl of hanthom and that lil slip of land in the north, and the general land of astaira etc, and im sure those things would conflict from time to time, but it wouldn't stop her from trying!!!! laksdjfkljsdkjfsf that awk moment when ur biggest struggle in ur relationship is whether to support your beloved nephew in his quest to become ruler of the known world...or to liberate ur wife and her bestie/ur crush's homeland and thus thwart said nephew???? *oof*

ok but in terms of eabha's behavior, i do think...like...i feel like she's clear about it, but also not bc, like, she treats other ppl similarly???? ksldjafkjdsf what do i mean by this...ok so i think eabha's honestly a pr warm and open person and, not to quote lizzie bennet, but 'she dearly loves to laugh,' so like i def think she flirts but also like...idk that she's the best ~at it all the time so i think she probs inadverntely leaves him in that 'wait was she flirting or just being funny/friendly???' sorta headspace sometimes bc idk that she's as clear as ~she thinks she is bc like she'll do smth romantic but then undercut it w teasing/laughter and so its like 'wait was that a joke or not?'

i do think she's in her head abt like...a loT of this, frankly, and she feels weird hunting somebody down basically, etc, so if it becomes obv to her that he's interested, i think she'll ease into things a lil morebc she'll feel less like a snake...she's never tried to catch a dude for his money/status/etc before, never thought she would, never thought well of those who did, etc, and lbr its just not her natural state so like...idk that she's that good at it, but im thinking she's maybe got some ambassadorial bg in her repertoire (incoming thought -- maybe they've met before? tho if so they were probs rivals in that scenario bc she was tryna convince ppl to join eilia against roderick klasdjfkjdsf but anyway!!) so like she falls back on some of ~those lessons but lbr presenting the case of why you ought to ally w eilia against roderick isn't esp sexy so yeah??? i think she's tryna feel her way through this and i def think she stumbles just as often as she doesn't frankly hahahaha

HE DOESN'T NEED 2 GIRLS RODERICK TRYNA MARRY ALKJSFKLJSDF ;klefjkasldjf ok so real talk: i don't think roderick will notice sonya until arthur does, and she's thus presented in roderick's mind as a future potential empress!!! which means she must be ~his!!!! ladies that catch edmund or arthur's eye re: marriage will, yikes-ishly enough, also in so doing catch roderick's eye, if the boys are ~srs abt marrying them (SOBS) fortunately for sonya, arthur's riding that aria train and so far he aint lookin back/looking for a wife sooooo she's def safe from him at least as far ahead as i can see atm? who knows what might happen but yeah, for the foreseeable future i think its safe to say that unless ~edmund starts thinking abt marrying sonya, she's gonna be ok and roderick barely knows who she is asdklfjklsdfj

that makes a ton of sense and, honestly, looking at it that way, eabha ~would be a great fit bc she'd frankly be a better duchess of farrington than ~mrs varmont~ hahahah i mean she'd defff try, and her actions in both cases would come out of the same idealistic vision for a better future etc, but like the whole varmont ideology is so abhorrent foreign to her that she'd def be on his case a lot abt the things roderick's doing that alaric should be tryna talk him out of etc bc as nobles its their duty to safeguard the ppl etc etc etc she's astairan through and through!! but yeah i ~do think she's good at being a lady and running a place smoothly and negotiating trade deals etc etc but yeah she'd def give him a hard time too alkjdsfkljsdjf just ask finn ;D

ok so, obv this is different if farrington is ~in astaira, but just for the purposes of answering the question...imma assume for the moment that its ~not

oof! yeahhhh while, even w it just being a political match, having her husband be in love w her bff would deffff suck but honestly!!!! i think leaving astaira would be the much ~bigger hurdle for eabha bc she's sworn to look after her ppl and that's what she's doing w this marriage! and she can def put up w personal pain to do that, but she can't surrender her ppl!! i do think if smth were worked out where, like, eabha could rest assured knowing her ppl would be taken care of if she left astaira, tho, she'd do it even if it meant never going home again (bc astaira will always be her home!) bc she is ultimately duty oriented and will do what it takes to see her duty done and she's ultimately a willing sacrifice for her ppl if that's what she has to be, so yeah there are circumstances where she'd be willing to leave but yeah those specific parameters would have to be met ~by the marriage itself (if, say, alaric set up a trusted stewart for northern calleary and ciara had hanthom or smth like that yknow? as part of the conditions of the marriage or whatever) but, yeah, short of that!!! she's not leaving!!! ksdjafkjsdf

ooc | Alaric & Eabha

I'm not sure how obvious Eabha is that she's interested in Alaric, but honestly this just might be something he'd consider tbh??

I do think that Alaric feels like he needs to take a wife and I think w/ all of the complicated feelings he has towards Astaira, that maybe taking an Astairan wife would be good to help promote good Varmont/Astaira relationships/??

While he enjoys flirting w/ Sonya, I feel like he honestly doesn't think having to deal w/ her mom is worth it plus, idk if Roderick really is interested in her or not?? But if he was, Alaric would also back off (he doesn't need to be into 2 girls that Roderick is trying to marry!!!)

I also think he believes that Eabha would be a good fit because she grew up expecting to run her own estate and he is looking for a woman who could effectively be his steward, since he knows that he likely will nEVER be settled and always pulled away on the next conquest his brother decides they shall go on and he wants to know that his home/children/etc are in good hands!

I do think that the only hitch in this plan, is whether or not Farrington is here in Astaira or in the og empire, because I feel like Eabha wouldn't want to leave??? Honestly, all of her siblings would be welcome to live w/ her, if they wanted, but yeah I'm sure that complicates things!! (not to mention that Alaric is carrying a silent torch for one of Eabha's best friends #notawkward)

[professorchaos]

What were your thoughts on the episodes of this season?

pajama day was an ok start, not very memorable but had a kinda promising plotline that kept it afloat and seeing everyone in pjs was cute! the second ep was enjoyable too, nothing special but the tolkien gag was made stronger by the commitment to the bit (changing online links etc) and my sp parents-loving heart was warmed by steve black being a massive lotr nerd (i wish that he'd done his lotr-themed weed idea in the end tbh)...

still, despite some strong ideas, the writing this season was shockingly bad and at many points it was pretty obvious to me that the season was a low priority for m&t. i have a strong suspicion that it was primarily written by ghost writers, which isn't necessarily a bad thing! i'd love if sp brought in fresh talent to the writing team, but whoever handled these 6 eps seemed to be struggling to find their feet.

city people and back to the cold war were probably the worst eps of the season, with city people being absolutely lacklustre and back to the cold war relying far too heavily on jokes completely empty of substance. it was disappointing and surprising, bc eps with either cartman or butters as a central character are usually really good and i think it's hard to go wrong when playing liane and eric off against each other (or indeed butters and his parents), but they ended up neglecting to properly utilise their strongest characters here. the plot with mr mackey did feel like a suitable commentary on current events and definitely reminiscent of the attitude i have noticed in american adults around me, and was the saving grace of the horse riding episode, which otherwise would have honestly been one of the worst sp episodes in a very long time. i would have liked to have shown in to certain american family members who have been treating the war in ukraine like a personal issue. still, as a european i didn't find it to be anything revolutionary.

the last two eps were the strongest, with the last possibly being my favorite for the season. help, my teenager hates me! was a nice, wholesome main 4 ep, though i thought it felt odd that both eric and randy barely spoke (this has been happening a lot this season though, with certain characters just fading into the bg almost as badly as, historically, kenny has done). eric was forgivable, due to the continuity gag (him being depressed about living in a hot dog), but randy could have had a couple more lines, at least - it's weird to have him there and not talking these days. still, i was really happy to see stuart (!!!) and gerald used, and even jimbo got to make a cool little cameo as eric's stand-in dad. the take on teenagers was pretty funny (them with their heads on the trolleys in the supermarket made me laugh especially - i was totally like that when i was a teenager myself, oh my god, the agony of being taken places you asked to go, the agony of doing literally anything etc etc. also the kid burning himself with the naruto poster behind him... classic).

the "st patrick's day special" was the closest to being "classic sp" levels of enjoyable; it was great to see butters and randy both used well (as a butters fan i hate to say this, but butters is funniest when he's suffering for no reason, and they don't make him suffer enough these days). playing them off each other was a good choice, and something i wish they'd leaned into a bit heavier - they're two of the show's best and most popular characters, but how often do we get to see them interact? the take on st patrick's day itself was kinda unintelligible and the episode wasn't really saying anything that i liked (making light of sexual assault accusations with no clear punchline just felt a bit weird coming from people who hold a lot of power in a notoriously abusive industry... but hey). i have noticed since being in america that americans take to this holiday with a bizarre amount of enthusiasm for people who by and large are about as irish as i am (which is to say: not irish) so the idea that it's secretly a way to celebrate being white felt pretty on the nose to what i've been thinking every time i see all the green shit in stores lol. i liked the thing they did with splicing artstyles at the end for st patrick! i've definitely missed that aspect of the show in recent years.

all in all it was just ok, with some strong moments and a lot more shockingly terrible ones (seriously... some of the writing was just so awful this year that i almost gave up watching halfway through the season). in some ways i do feel like aspects of the show are headed in the right direction, so i'm still excited to see what next season is like, but if it isn't significantly better than this one was, i'm not sure how much longer i'm gonna be bothered to keep watching -_-;;