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cloviaglade · 4 years ago

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THE CRIMSON FLOWER ROUTE CORPORATE UNION AU

Yeah it came to me in a dream shared it with a friend and she said I should inflict it on the world so here we go

Warning: It's super long but I broke it up into chunks

(note not all members of the house fall into the categories listed also I'm not the best with corporate terms and positions. Also this was made for fun and isn't that serious)

The houses

The Black eagles generally were in accounting or sales. They dealt with a lot of the customers firsthand and were considered expendable

Blue lions where mostly in HR or IT

Golden deer mostly worked in maintenance and public relations.

Staff and church members are members of the board. Flayn has her position on the board despite her age because nepotism

The Seiros Co:

It's a large company that provide a large array of services and products that promote physical and emotional well-being. The company started out with good intentions but soon became a corporate monster

The company provides a host of benefits to its employees including on site housing, on site restraunts, on site pools gyms ect. They even have the best insurance on the planet. They even have horse therapy.

However they have to pay premiums on the health insurance, their rent is docted from their pay, they have to pay for on-site facilities, and those living on site are heavily encouraged to work overtime.

a lot of this is justified by cover every single health expense and days of for minor colds. Many employees seek mental health care more often than they seek physical care.

The on site living conditions vary heavily. Most are just a small white room with a single bed and a dresser. No visitors after certain hours and forget about outside visitors. However rumors are spreading that the board members have spacious luxury apartments.

The pay without all the benefits is not a wage you could live off of. But with the rent for these rooms doct from your pay you couldn't reasonably save up for different arrangements.

The strike begins:

Edelguard was finally fed up watching her team struggling. She hears constantly about how her workers are not making enough. How they have to scrape because they needed new clothes or shoes. Or worse how Petra wasn't able to support her sick grandfather

She hired a lawyer Hubert to look into information about their contracts and compare everything to labor laws. She needed to know how much of this was legal and if there was anything to be done about it.

Huberts lawfirm dealt with several lawsuits in the past. They are considered ruthless in court however media painted them out to be money hungry and demented

As expected, it was legal (mostly due to lack of regulation for these types of benefits) but really unfair, So Hubert suggested a strike. His firm would handle all the legal matters as they prepared a lawsuit and to unionize.

Edelguard was careful to organize it in private. Nothing was emailed. Nothing to tract them. Flyers were handwritten and posted in the dorms inviting members to secret meeting on slow hours.

Roles

What everyone did on the day of the strike/position they were in the office.

Black eagles

Edalguard: head of sales- she got everyone in her department and many others in different departments to simply stop working for the day when she commanded everyone to stop working via megaphone. She suck in hubert and went to a private meeting room to set up a list of demands.

Hubert: head of Vestra lawfirm- he snuck past security with the help of Edelguard. He brought a laptop and a phone with Hotspot so he could video call the rest of his attorneys from inside the conference room. Once the strike was in full swing he toured the place with Edelguard gathering evidence.

Ferdinand: senior sale manager has the highest customer satisfaction - when the strike was well underway he sent a mass email to everyone in every department including the CEO and founder herself in a very professional tone about how there is a strike. Lornez replied immediately and they when to the breakroom to enjoy tea while on the clock.

Lindhart: IT software specialist - first thing he did was turn off all the bans on websites. Everyone could go on whatever website they wanted to. He left the download blocker up and other safety precautions in place. Others could looks at memes and scroll through social media ect. He then returns to his dorm and takes a paid nap.

Caspar: manager in accounting slow but very accurate and a real team player - he hated the no pets policy with a burning passion so he let all the stray and feral cats that hang around the building in through one of the side doors. They stayed mostly on the ground floor and a few made a mess under the desks. He played with the strays with a few of his co-workers.

Bernadette: customer service rep. - she hated the calls filled with angry people. She clocked out, disconnected he phone, ran into her dorm and screamed into her pillow until calm. Once she calmed down enough she did some embroidery.

Dorothea: sales representative- has the highest upsale rate - she gets into her car and just leaves. She is still clocked in. Nobody knows where she went. Some say she met with a lover, others say she went on a binge. Nobody really knows.

Petra: bilingual sales rep. - she signed her phone off and immediately called up her family overseas. She proceeded to catch up and talk with her family for hours. She rarely got to speak with them due to the difference in timezones.

Blue lions

Dimitri: head of IT - he doesn't actually know much about IT and has little intrest in it. He got the job because his dad recommended him. With the outside website ban lifted and the lost of control of his department he frantically tried to get everything under control

Dedue: cyber security and protocol educator - although the bans are lifted he is still concerned about a cyber attack. He is frantically try to restore the ban but it seems like lindhart deleted the code.

Felix: hardware specialists - he was the one who should've been promoted into Dimitri's position and is a bit smug about how everything is falling apart in front of his boss. He bypasses the download blocker and plays minecraft on the company computer. Dimitri is too busy to notice that felix isn't helping.

Sylvain: HR rep. - he knew from the start that working conditions were shit. He was tired of trying to raise moral by doing everything but paying the employees more, giving them time off, and reasonable working hours. He went to the break room where Ferdinand and Lornez were having tea and ate a bunch of the snacks the company was reselling at super high prices then faxed a picture of his ass and balls to rhea herself as a letter of resignation.

Ashe: new hire in IT - was called down to the first floor to replace a keyboard a cat peed on. Found caspar was the reason the cats were let in. Caspar then persuaded him to play with the cats instead of shooing them out. 3 hours later he completely forgot about the strike and clocked out per usual. He completely forgot about the strike

Mercedes: head of HR - she meets with the board and discussed what to do about the strikers. They can't force them to go home since everyone striking lives on site and has every right to be there. No significant damages is being done to property. The only loss is from those not working (and a keyboard covered in cat piss and $35 worth of snacks) Mercedes is forced to find a way to get them to stop but in a way that doesn't really change anything. She leaves the meeting when it is over clocks out and returns to her modest house she calls out sick for the next couple of months.

Annette: HR rep - she tries to stop the chaos on the floor and to convince everyone to return to work. She is ignored. She wanted to ask for a megaphone to help gain attention but edelguard took the one from HR and the person with the key to one in the event closet is striking as well. She runs around in a paint trying to answer emails and settle everyone down.

Ingrid: IT helpline rep - helping Dimitri reset the ban on outside websites is above her pay grade. She at least know some of the terminology and the basics. She manages to set up a very basic blocker but it didn't block whole domains just the homepage of every website she could think of that's wasn't appropriate for work. Logging into the site allowed you to bypass the block. Ingrid feels like she will be fired for not being able to do more

Golden deer:

Claude: event planner - noticing that there was no work happening he finally decided it was time to actually do his job. He dipped into those sweet event funds and ordered as many pizza's as he could from every pizza join that could deliver. He busted out the sport balls and got employees to clear some room for flag football on the 3rd floor. He got Hilda to organize games of hide and go seek in floors 4 and 5. All games and activities were not officially approved but followed all guidelines.

Hilda: claudes assistant - organized games on the 4th and 5th floors. The cubicle although uniform made excellent hiding spaces and the food plaza just got rid of the old tables and chairs awaiting delivery of new ones so there was a ton of space to run around. Hidia had to jump between floors pretty often which was a workout all on its own but it was worth it to see everyone smile at work for once.

Lornez: head of advertising - he was tired of writing jingles and stupid commercials for the company. He wasn't aware of the strike until he got the email from Ferdinand. He offered to treat him to some tea he brought from home. They had a lovely talk and watched Sylvain stress eat. He tried to talk Sylvain out of resigning but failed.

Raphael: pizza delivery guy - he thought it was a joke at first since they never delivered pizza to the Serios Co but was persuaded by Claude. He got stopped at the front by the front desk clerk who was ordered not to allow any deliveries. Soon more pizza guys showed up and some of them where not as nice as Raphael. He eventually got in and successfully delivered his pizza.

Ignatz: accountant - he wanted no part of this and tried to work despite being on the 3rd floor. He doesn't have any PTO and is frantically trying to get his absence approved because he cannot work under these conditions. He got walled in with desks and chairs and hand to crawl his way out to try to find someone in HR to help him but found their office empty. Worst day of work ever.

Lysithia: Intern- hopes to join the advertising department - She needs this job for school credits so finding out that her boss told her to take the day off because of strike she immediately thought of her record. Lorenz assured her that she would get credit as long as he had any say in it. She played a round of hide and go seek before studying in Lornez's office

Marianne: customer service rep.- she heard the rumors and on the day of the strike she freaked out and when to have a panic attack in her car. She was on lunch technically but she took a 3 hour lunch. She came back in clocked out and decided to try that horse therapy.

Leonnie: pizza delivery guy (not nice) - she knows the customer didn't care that the order took so long to complete and was very understanding that the 30mins or less delivery time but seriously! 50 PIZZAS!! She had to stretch and press dough at top speed for like 45 mins then she burnt her hand while boxing some of the pizza's and she had to deliver all of it to this company just outside of town and now the person at the front door is insisting that the pizza was ordered by mistake oh no! Not today! You will take the pizza and you will pay for it and tip 25%.

Church

Rhea: CEO and founder - she honestly believes her practices are helping the community. She doesn't realize that she doesn't give her employees much choice. She thinks her employees are ungrateful.

Seteth: president - also believes the company is doing the best they can. He knows the dorms are small and brand but they house 78.364% of their employees and they all see a doctor at least 3 times a month. He hates that he has difficulty finding a balance between competitive prices, compensating workers, and turning a profit.

Flayn: secretary - she saw the fun going on in the 5th floor while on her lunch and thought it was organized by staff and didn't connect it as part of the strike.

Catherine: front desk - tried to turn away all the delivery drivers but more kept coming. She kept getting calls from upper management about the social media platforms and tried frantically to get in to make a statement but had little luck. She gave up when Leonnie demanded payment and let all the delivery people in.

Shamir: social media manager- she originally attended the meetings as a mole but soon learned that her fellow employees hardships. She drafted huge posts on every platform exposing the truth, changed all the passwords then took a vacation during the strike.

Hanneman: chief operational officer - he is calling and emailing the IT department about the bans every moment he can. He organized the meeting as soon as the strikers got rowdy.

Manuela: chief financial officer - although she is worried about the finances she has also been pressing about where to cut the budget first. Horse therapy is ridiculous! They own the whole ranch and are responsible for the upkeep of every horse. And all the horses are carefully hand selected and trained too. It's too much nobody uses the horse therapy because nobody has the time off to go to horse therapy!

Alois: Chairman - his title is mostly empty. He joined the strikers in a game of flag football scored a touchdown. Then went back to work as usual. Didn't check his emails about the strike since he only checks them in the morning when he first comes into work.

Gilbert: treasurer - he puts business first. Doesn't know his daughter works for the same company. Was friends with Dimitri's father. He is stressing about how the company will recover financially. He is the reason for the pay cuts so they can fund most of the benefits.

Cyrill: gopher - he gets paid minimum wage and lives on site. He considers himself lucky that he can drive the company car to go pick up office supplies from the store. He was homeless before he got a job at Seiros and feels like he is important.

Results

Since several members of the board were caught participating in strike activities the hubert and his firm counted them at strikers and used this in court.

The dorms were not considered responsible accommodations saying that prisoners in jail cells at least have their own toilet.

The news when crazy with the posts on social media. The account never replied to any dms or comments. When called they said a rogue employee posted them falsely because she was being fired.

Rhea was forced to pay a lawsuit that gave all dormitory workers an allowance of $1000 for rent for life. Even if they choose to leave the company.

Dimitri was fired for not actually having any training. Felix was promoted to the head of IT and everyone respects him.

Rhea looses her company. And most of her assets. She kept the therapy horse ranch and manages that for a living.

With the entire company now belonging to her since everyone above her resigned she made a ton of changes making the company more normal. She pays a fair livable wage to every employee. She repurposed the dorms into offices or solitary break rooms.

Huberts firm gets rebranded as a honest firm that wants to help the little guys. He later goes on to help other corporations unionize.

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nekojitachan · 5 years ago

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For some reason I was inspired to write more of ‘The Real Thing’. No clue why....

I thought this was going to be really short, too. Ha.

We’re starting to move things along, time-wise and plot-wise. Seriously.

Last part can be found here.

*******

“So, uhm, how are things going there? I mean, outside of the games, you Ravens are on the usual winning streak and they’re already talking about you making Court with the way you’re shutting down the goal whenever you’re playing, but with classes and… uhm, well, with Nathaniel?”

If Nicky didn’t sound as if he expected Andrew to yell at him at any moment, Andrew would tell him to fuck off and hang up. However, Nicky insisted on sending him care packages (and sappy A/B/O books, which Nathaniel continued to ask him about and allowed Andrew to invent ridiculous answers in return) and checking up on him, so… so Andrew humored his cousin.

(Or something like that.)

“I should make the dean’s list this semester and Nate’s fine,” Andrew said as he fought the urge to tap his fingers against the top of his desk.

“Hmm, just fine? He’s your soulmate.”

Once again, Andrew wished that he could have slit Riko’s throat before the prick had announced to the world that Nathaniel was his soulmate, even as at the same time he felt a deeply buried hint of satisfaction over knowing that everyone referred to Nathaniel as ‘his’.

He needed a drink.

“He’s fine,” Andrew repeated. “Still breathing and has all of his limbs.” All of his very attractive, very flexible limbs.

“That’s not- oh fine.” Nicky was definitely sulking on the other end of the line. “You could be a bit more romantic about finding your other half, you know.”

“Why? He’s my other half.”

“Exactly.” Nicky’s tone softened as he spoke that word. It was quiet for a few seconds before he spoke again. “Uhm, you hear from Aaron lately?”

Andrew didn’t say anything as he thought about how his twin continued to avoid him.

“Ah, yeah, okay.” Now Nicky sounded sad. “He’ll… he’ll come around. It’s difficult, not knowing where one’s soulmate is when everyone else has found theirs,” he tried to explain. “He’s feeling a bit jealous right now.”

Why would Aaron feel jealous? Andrew had moved away from California and given up any chance of a family he might have with Cass because of his brother (even if it included Drake), had gotten rid of Tilda for Aaron (who really should pay attention when making bargains), had joined the Ravens… well, partially because of the scholarship extended to Aaron (and partially because of the north star mark on his left forearm).

“It’s time for practice,” Andrew lied, unwilling to talk anymore.

“Oh, okay. Tell Nathaniel I said ‘hi’! I can’t wait to meet him, maybe during the holiday-“

Andrew hung up on his insane cousin before Nicky could go any further with that ridiculous plan, then completed his English homework. Ben had gone off to one of the study rooms to talk to his family, and returned a few minutes before the afternoon practice started (for real) with a disgruntled expression on his face.

When Andrew arched an eyebrow over the way his roommate slammed his books onto his desk, Ben huffed and shook his head. “Riko’s being even more of his ‘I’m the captain, do what I say or else’ self.” When Andrew’s drug-induced smile flattened, Ben shook his head again, that time with more vigor. “Nate wasn’t involved! He went after Jordon because of his performance this morning, and then got even angrier when Kevin tried to step in.”

As long as Nathaniel was all right. “What else is new?” Riko had become a nagging little bitch (more of a nagging little bitch) as the season progressed, as he became obsessed with ensuring that the Ravens led not only their district but the entire Class I division in points, as he excelled in both the collegiate and professional leagues.

Which meant that he became a bitter little bitch whenever he felt that he wasn’t given his due as the best striker in all of Exy, whenever someone stole his thunder (especially if it was his own partner) or if he believed that his teammates were lacking. Which meant that the Ravens had to put up with the psychotic prick’s mercurial moods.

Had Andrew said moods? More like tantrums.

At least as long as Andrew continued to either shut down the goal entirely during his time on court (not always possible) or limit the other team to one or two points, then Riko left him (and Nathaniel) alone. Well, the prick wasn’t happy when he ‘politely’ (meaning didn’t shove a knife in their ribs) reminded people to keep their fucking hands off Nathaniel, but it was still possible to play a game with a concussion or broken fingers.

Ben managed a weak chuckle at Andrew’s statement, then they left for practice; Andrew didn’t see Nathaniel or Jean in the locker room, which meant that they were already out on court. That wasn’t too much of a surprise since as part of Riko’s ‘perfect court’, they were expected to put in extra effort (to live up to the ‘perfect’ part), but it also meant that a certain prick expected more of them.

Andrew didn’t exactly run out of the locker room, but he managed a fast-paced ‘saunter’ that got him to the court before the rest of the team. He was just in time to notice a very familiar flush to his soulmate’s cheeks and gleam in those startling blue eyes as Nathaniel watched on while Riko tore into Kevin about – well, Andrew didn’t really give a shit about what, just stopping Nathaniel from getting into trouble.

“Why don’t you-“

“There’s my sweetpea!” Andrew called out right before he used his racquet as an improvised hook to draw Nathaniel towards him; Jean jumped at the loud noise then scoffed at his actions. “Got a kiss for your honeybun?”

“I’ve got a knife for your belly,” Nathaniel gritted out, yet he allowed Andrew to ‘reel’ him in. “What did I say about calling me that?”

Andrew pretended to think about the demand for a moment. “Okay, snugglewoogums.”

Behind them, Jean tried to turn a chuckle into a cough while Riko finally stopped berating Kevin. Nathaniel gave Andrew an incredibly pained look before he shook his head in defeat. “Fine, stick with the first one,” he spat as he ducked his head.

Aware of Riko’s attention on them, Andrew allowed his grin and tone to take on a salacious edge. “I told you I always get my way.” He smacked his soulmate on the ass with the handle of his racquet, well aware that he’d get an earful (and more threats about being filleted) later on, while Riko grinned in approval.

“It seems we finally found someone to tame our wild #3,” Riko taunted; for a moment, Andrew worried that it would set off his soulmate, but Nathaniel glanced over at Kevin, who had hurried to get the rest of the team ready for practice (and away from Riko), and seemed to decide to let the snide comment slide since things had settled down.

It was the usual Ravens’ practice after that (of which Andrew was So. Damn. Bored); going over the Ravens’ drills (and being caned by Tetsuji for any mistakes), followed by learning a new play or two (and being caned for not paying attention) and then a few scrimmages (and more caning for mistakes). Riko was quick to pounce on any players he felt weren’t up to the team’s demanding standards, to the point that Andrew was certain that he wasn’t the only one looking forward to the next time the asshole left for a Wildcats’ game.

As expected, Nathaniel dragged Andrew off to a table in the far corner of the dining hall after practice; no one paid any attention to him eating with his soulmate and Jean anymore, while Ben was fine having his meals with Leif and Toby (who actually said more than two words at a time to him). Jean sat with his back to the other Ravens, which helped to block any curious gazes, while Nathaniel glared as he jabbed a chopstick at the grilled tofu lying on top of his bowl of seasoned rice. “Laying it on a bit thick earlier, weren’t you?” He pitched his voice low so it wouldn’t carry very far. “Honeybun?” There was enough malice in the ‘nickname’ to choke a horse (too bad it didn’t choke Andrew and give him an excuse to skip dinner).

Andrew grunted as he contemplated flinging his own piece of tofu as far across the dining hall as possible. “Oh, did you and Valjean want to be beaten for pissing off Riko today?” It was a bit of a low blow to drag Jean into things, but the best way to prove his point.

Nathaniel appeared guilty while Jean gave him a warning look for such dirty tactics, which Andrew ignored. “He’s being a real asshole to Kevin lately for no reason.”

Other than being a jealous, insecure prick, but what else was new? “Kevin’s a big boy, let him take care of himself.”

“Kevin can’t fend for himself once off an Exy court or outside a press conference,” Nathaniel muttered, which made Jean chuckle. “But whatever,” he said when Andrew narrowed his eyes. “You done with your homework for the day?”

“Yes, you?”

Nathaniel nodded. “You… uhm, coming back to the room with us?” He kept poking at the disgusting slab of tofu while a hint of blush spread across his sharp cheekbones.

Despite the fact that Andrew basically went to Nathaniel’s room every night after dinner (unless it was a game night), he nodded and forced his attention on his own dinner while Nathaniel murmured ‘good’ and Jean looked as if he was about to get up and leave the table in disgust.

The rest of the meal passed in silence.

Once they reached the relative peace and safety (relative) of Nathaniel’s room, he pulled out the German language books which Nicky had sent Andrew (oh how his cousin had been delighted to know that Nathaniel had wanted to improve upon his slight knowledge of the language) so they could work on it that night; they’d taken to alternating between German and French in the last few weeks. Between Andrew’s eidetic memory and Nathaniel’s almost uncanny ability to learn languages, they were progressing rapidly between the two.

(Andrew wanted to know what the hell his soulmate and Jean were saying all the time – and to be warned by Jean if necessary – and to talk to Nathaniel privately.)

Andrew sat on Nathaniel’s bed, all too aware of how close they were to each other, as they went through the lessons that Nathaniel had worked on earlier that day and his pronunciation (which was damn good). They were in the middle of a short dialogue (asking for directions) when Nathaniel’s phone pinged, which was a rare occasion; almost everyone he knew was in the Nest, and his father certainly didn’t bother to talk to him.

Nathaniel’s brows drew together in a puzzled expression as he looked at his phone; Andrew noticed how Jean paused in reading a book to give his partner a worried glance. “I won’t be able to watch the game on Friday,” Nathaniel announced after texting back a response. “Ichirou wants me in the East Tower to translate.”

Andrew felt a wave of… of something dark and possessive and primordial slam into him as a wide smile spread across his face. “Oh, how wonderful, fun Moriyama time. Will Nathan be there to play as well?” He could easily (oh so easily) remember the bruises which had littered lovely ‘Nat’s’ face after his last father’s visit.

Nathaniel twitched at the response, which earned a muttered curse from Jean. “I… no.” Nathaniel shook his head, which caused the workbook in his lap to slip onto the bed and his dark auburn curls to flash through the air. “He doesn’t… not when Ichirou… no.”

The incoherence was a sign of how upset he was, as was the way his hands twisted in the hem of the overlarge black sweatshirt he wore; aware of how he was the cause of such disturbance, Andrew found himself reaching to thread his fingers through those mussed curls without a thought, to leaning forward until he felt his soulmate’s breath warm against his face, until he could see the flecks of pale grey swirl in those icy blue eyes….

A manic part of him urged him on to kiss his soulmate, to feel something, to take whatever he could – for a moment he almost gave into it, too. Then he noticed the naked emotion on Nathaniel’s face, the odd mix of trust and confusion, and found himself leaning back even as his hand wrapped around his soulmate’s nape.

(NathanielwasapipedreamwasmaybetooperfectforhimbutifhetookhimnowlikeTHISthenhe’ddefinitelyneverknowifadreamcouldbecomereality)

“Be certain,” Andrew said, his voice thick for some reason. “Because I feel that I’m due an introduction with your father for some reason, an introduction where I have a very sharp or heavy object in my hand which I make very familiar with him many, many times.”

His soulmate gazed at him for several seconds as if trying to make sense of the words before he gave up and rested his forehead on Andrew’s shoulder. When Andrew glanced at Jean, the French bastard shook his head. “I’m putting my money on the Butcher, not a runt like you.”

“He’s an old man,” Andrew sneered.

“An old man who’s used to fighting off overreaching fools. Up your game, Minyard.”

Andrew gave him the bird while he combed the fingers of his other hand through Nathaniel’s hair; once he realized what he was doing, he forced his hands away from his soulmate. Nathaniel blinked at the loss of contact then slowly rose from the bed. “Aah, it’s late,” he said as he walked toward the bathroom.

Jean waited until the door closed behind him and there was the sound of water running to lean forward and gaze at Andrew. “He doesn’t say much about what happens up in the Tower, but I know that Ichirou doesn’t let Nathan touch him,” he told Andrew, his deep voice quiet in the small room. “Kengo doesn’t stop the bastard at all, but Ichirou does.”

Andrew thought about that as he gathered up the German language books then placed them on Nathaniel’s desk. “Why?” Why did Ichirou protect Nathaniel?

Jean shook his head. “I don’t know, and I don’t think Nat does, either.”

Yet another question to add to the growing pile of them, but at least Andrew knew that Nathaniel should be safe that Friday. Should. He’d have to wait for a better answer after their game with the University of Vermont’s Catamounts.

(When he was alone, with his soulmate, without any drugs in his system….).

Except things didn’t exactly go that way – Andrew should be used to life fucking up his plans by then. After all but shutting down the goal except for one point during his time out on court, he’d dealt with the usual post-game bullshit, showered, changed and was about to head to Nathaniel’s room (well aware of the clock ticking down on his drug-free moments) when Akagi insisted that he follow the assistant coach to Tetsuji’s office.

He was ready to ignore the man, except Aaron’s name was mentioned.

Well aware that he hadn’t seen his brother in class that morning, Andrew pushed aside the urge to tell the Moriyama lackey to ‘fuck off’ (along with the growing sense of nausea) and tagged along; the rare burst of true anger helped to push back the withdrawal that sunk vicious claws into his nerves until they sizzled with an aching itch that wasn’t quite pain.

Not yet, at least.

Andrew found his twin, bleary-eyed and reeking of alcohol, standing hunched over as to make himself appear even smaller in Tetsuji’s office with some middle-aged man who turned out to be the Dean of Science. He stood there and listened while Tetsuji basically talked the man out of evicting Aaron from Edgar Allan because of the stupid prank he and his ‘friends’ had done due earlier that evening to the stabilizing effect (what a fucking joke) he had on one of the Ravens’ most promising players, and that Tetsuji was certain that he could find something to keep Aaron busy so such an incident wasn’t repeated.

From the look Tetsuji gave Andrew, he knew that such a thing better not happen again, and that he’d be paying for the ‘Master’s’ intervention.

“How could you be so stupid,” he hissed in German while the two men hashed out the details of Aaron’s new ‘work study’ position.

Aaron wavered on his feet while he shook his head. “I didn’t- why the fuck do you care?” he whispered back.

Because the Moriyamas never did anything for free. Because the price better not involve Nathaniel. Because Andrew was always cleaning up for his twin. “You were supposed to stay out of trouble.” Andrew had done what he could to keep track of his brother while on campus, but that task had grown almost impossible between juggling classes, being a Raven, Nathaniel, and Aaron ignoring him the past few weeks. “Not break into-“

“You have everything,” Aaron turned to give him a look that was pure jealousy. “They’re already talking about you making Court, you found your soulmate, what else is there? I’ve got nothing.”

He certainly didn’t have any brains, Andrew thought with growing bitterness. He had a scholarship to pursue his dreams of being a doctor, he had the brother he’d begged for along with the second chance of a future. ‘Nothing’ indeed.

However, it seemed that Tetsuji and the other guy were finished, so away Aaron went, leaving Andrew to find out what he owed for his brother’s latest folly. “I suggest making him clean the bathrooms,” Andrew said as he struggled not to fidget from the growing drug withdrawals.

Tetsuji regarded him in that flat, ‘you are worthless to me’ manner which made him such a cheerful fellow for a few seconds before he leaned back in his big leather chair. “I know about the deal you made with my nephew, both about Nathaniel and being off your medication while on court.” His thick brows drew together very slightly, the only hint of disapproval on his usually mask-like face; if it were during a practice session, Andrew would expect the bastard’s cane to be brought down on him at any moment. “You shouldn’t need any incentive to do your best during a game, but one can be… irrational in regards to their soulmate.”

One could also be irrational as fuck in regards to their psychotic nephew, but Andrew (for once) kept his mouth shut, considering what had happened in the past few minutes, and considering the reference to Nathaniel.

(Oh, was it difficult, though.)

Tetsuji nodded once, as if pleased by his silence. “Your performance on court is exemplary and has helped the team to have one of their best seasons in years. Upon comparing it to how you play during scrimmages, I believe you were correct when you told Riko that you play best when off your medication. That’s why I’ve had Dr. Gale submit a recommendation that you’ve improved enough in the last few months and no longer need it.”

That… was not what Andrew had expected to hear. “He can do that?” He was supposed to have weekly sessions with the psychiatrist, per the whole court sentencing thing, but one of the very few good things about having signed with the Ravens was, due to the hectic practice schedule, after attending a couple of them, the weekly visits had just… stopped. Dr. Gale would swing by the court once a week to technically ‘see’ Andrew, but that was that, and nothing else was said about the matter.

“He already has; along with the recommendations from your professors and me, it’s expected to be approved.” Tetsuji gave him an intent look. “You’ll be checked in to a local rehabilitation center over the winter break and return in time for the spring semester to play unmedicated.”

On one hand, Andrew felt an odd fluttering in his chest at the thought of being off the damn medication early, in no longer having to take it (in being done with it earlier than expected after he’d found Nathaniel). On the other hand, he was being told to do something, and while he wasn’t the twin studying medicine, he could do a quick bit of math and realized that winter break didn’t give him a lot of time to come off an additive drug.

(But Aaron had done it, so why couldn’t he?)

His innate nature to do the opposite of what he’d been told struggled with the fact that this was what not only he owed to keep Aaron at Edgar Allan but was what he wanted as well; after several seconds, he gave the ‘Master’ a curt nod.

Tetsuji nodded once in return. “Prepare accordingly,” was all he said before he motioned for Andrew to leave.

Andrew didn’t waste any time doing just that.

Nathaniel appeared anxious when he reached his soulmate’s room but didn’t ask any questions. He took one look at Andrew and got out of the way as Andrew went straight to the bathroom so he could take the damn medication (only for a little longer) and get ready for bed. When Andrew came out several minutes later, it was to find that Nathaniel had switched out the sheets for him on Jean’s bed.

“Uhm, everything okay?” Nathaniel asked, his expression uncertain.

Andrew took a moment to check that his soulmate was unharmed (at least physically), that the only bruises on him were a couple fading ones from practice earlier in the week. “Long day.” He was too tired right then to talk about Aaron, Ichirou and winter break, too… it was too much. It would wait until morning.

Yet all Nathaniel did was give him a slight, earnest smile and went to fetch something from his desk. “Okay. Ah, here.” He handed over a small bundle wrapped in a black cloth napkin, a hint of pink on his cheeks. “There were snacks and since it was Ichirou… I was able to bring something back I thought you might like. Good night.” That done, he hurried over to his bed.

Andrew stared after him for moment before he unwrapped the napkin to reveal a large chocolate cupcake with chocolate frosting drizzled with caramel, topped with a chocolate raven. Despite the slight upheaval to his stomach from before and the fact that he’d just brushed his teeth, Andrew felt his mouth begin to salivate and sat down on the bed so he could spread the napkin over his lap.

The cupcake was delicious, was the best thing he’d tasted in weeks, was a chocolate overload that made him want to groan in delight. Once he was done licking the last trace of buttercream from his fingers, he glanced over at his soulmate, who was pretending to be asleep. “Thanks, sweetpea. Next time, grab at least two.”

Nathaniel made an adorable growling sound before he spoke. “Sure, the more poison, the better,” he grumbled before he jerked the bedding higher up his narrow shoulders.

Andrew began to count the days left until winter break as he crawled beneath blankets.

*******

Excited for what happens in the next few parts. I always knew how this was going to end, but had a flash of actual dialogue the other night and... YES.

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mementofloreo-archived · 4 years ago

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@sorrowmarked || smoochie prompts || hehehehehe[this is cut bc it is SUPER FUCKING long. This is literally the longest thing I've written for you I think]

His team has had a couple of practice matches against the soccer club from Ken's school since they both entered high school, in part thanks to Daisuke's friendship with him. Even without any influence from dark gears or things like that Ken has managed to remain an excellent player with a wide reputation.

Daisuke is unknown, of course. There was no soccer club at his middle school, after all, so he wasn't able to play competitively. He stayed on top of fitness training, even adopting some of the rigorous conditioning routine his sister had used for prep after being scouted by a pro team. Still, with no reputation to boost him he had to earn his place on the main lineup when he entered high school.

...Which he's done, really. He's far exceeded anyone's expectations, especially his own. His drive, his vigor, and his honest love for playing have earned him a lot of strong friendships, and apparently also skyrocketed the morale and motivation of his teammates on more than one occasion. They went from a club thought of as 'not bad, but nothing special' to semifinalists at the prefectural tournament all within the course of his first year. They'd lost to Ken's school, in fact, by a single point shave in the last two minutes of the match.

At his school, first years who join the club via application and not recommendation don't play starting positions in tournament matches(common practice, really). Daisuke still managed to distinguish himself, though. When he was played as a starter in practice matches against Ken's school he was usually placed in a midfield winger position. It gave him some flexibility for movement while relying on the one thing the coach and captain already knew he had, which was stamina.

When their first tournament rolled around, he was put in as a substitute for their attacking midfielder. The position was considered the playmaker, as far as team structure. They were responsible for helping to direct the flow of the team's offensive play, connecting the defensive positions to the forward ones and managing the support for the striker, who was the primary goal scorer(and the position he had played in elementary). For Daisuke, it felt like a test, an opportunity and a show of faith all in one, and so he'd pushed himself past his limits to live up to those expectations.

His fierce, quick, and precise play style coupled with his apparently 'freakish' stamina and adaptability in the position have since earned him a place as its starter as well as the team's vice captain in his second year.

When he was ten or twelve, he'd have been gunning for the striker position. It was flashy and considered the really 'cool' position in most formations.

Now, though, he's stopped caring about looking cool. He wants to play his best, he wants to have fun- and he wants the rest of the team to have those things as well. Realizing that his play sense and his technical skill are best suited to that position when those goals are in mind, he's both content with and proud of his current place.

Ken is a striker. And in their practice matches this season his team has, as usual, come out on top(even if it's usually close).

In the prefectural finals this year, Daisuke's team drags Ken's into a lengthy and brutal double overtime- in the pouring rain, no less. Everyone is exhausted, sore, soaked and filthy. Losing momentum, losing cohesion, desperate for a goal just so things will be over.

...Daisuke, though, ignores it. His burning legs, the sharp pain of his overworked lungs, the chafing of his drenched uniform, the slick ground beneath him and the way the water impedes the ball's movement. He puts himself in a mindset as if he were playing a one on one scrimmage against his sister. She's a professional player on a high ranking team in the highest tier women's league of Japan's professional circuit and has even earned a place on its national team.

If Daisuke's stamina is freakish, then Jun's entire spectrum of skill is on the same level as a natural disaster. The ferocity and lack of hesitation she shows on the field would terrify any normal high schooler, boy or girl, and even a lot of capable players from the men's league.

Which means that even a casual match against her demands ignoring his body's pleas for a break and pushing past its screaming to keep playing at his top form no matter how exhausted he is.

That's the extent he exerts himself to in that double overtime. He's in a state where he barely even registers physical sensation because he's so focused. He barely even registers the directional tips he shouts to the other mid and forward positions, and he doesn't register at all the captain calling for everyone to follow Daisuke's lead.

There's a single thought in his head: keep moving. If he stops or even slows down for just a split second, he knows he'll keep losing steam and he won't get it back. He has to barrel forward no matter what until the game is over. He doesn't pay attention to the faces or numbers of the opposing team. He focuses on keeping the ball in play, keeping his body in motion and staying at least aware of where his teammates are, though he doesn't differentiate between them very well.

When he scoops the ball right out of Ken's grasp, turns sharp, rockets past him, he doesn't know that it's Ken. He doesn't try to close the full distance to the goal either. The moment he sees a small gap in the defense he shoots. For the left corner and with every ounce of strength he has left.

The ball hit's the keeper's open palms- and blasts right through them like they're made of paper, making a loud snap sound and spinning against the net. Daisuke watches it sail in, speechless, and slowly he sinks to his hands and knees, well past being completely spent.

His awareness comes back to him gradually in the several seconds both the players and spectators are left in shock to process the split second reversal and upset of a team that made it to the nationals last year. Even the referees take a few second to declare the clean goal. But once they do, everything erupts around him.

He hears it, registers the shouting and the celebration, the exhausted and frustrated but still impressed acceptance of the other team. And he lets himself laugh breathlessly in relief, still completely unaware that he left Ken dizzily in the dust a few moments ago. Right at that second, he's mostly glad he still pre-medicates with his inhaler before any kind of exercise and keeps it on hand as a rescue. He's going to need it.

His teammates, bless them, have the presence of mind not to jump on him the way they would normally. The captain and Ken make sure he's not injured and help him to his feet, and once he confirms he can walk with some support they help him to the sidelines. The teams shake hands, exchange congratulations. Both for a hard earned victory and a well played match despite a loss. The coaches and officials are able to get the attention of the crowd enough to let the players have some breathing room for a few minutes.

Ken informs Daisuke of exactly what he did in those last few seconds while he digs for his inhaler and then takes a long drink from his water bottle. Daisuke is a little shellshocked by it all now that he's properly registering it, but he's happy all the same. He's helped carry his team to nationals, a first time accomplishment for them.

Moreover, he had the time of his life with this match, even as exhausting as it was. The frail little kid he used to be would never believe he could accomplish something like this.

He makes a note to himself to call Jun with the news- this isn't the kind of thing he should relay via text. She'd just drop everything and call him to yell about it anyway.

There isn't a formal locker room building at this field, but there's covered areas around the benches and a lot of the seating. Daisuke and a lot of his teammates take some time to rinse the mud and sweat off of exposed skin, towel off, change into dry shoes from their cleats, put their warmups on to keep from catching cold.

Everything is so hectic that when he finally shoulders his bag and shambles off the grounds a half hour later he's completely forgotten that Hikari was planning to try and be at the match.

So when he sees her he's not really shocked, but he does sort of stare at her for a few seconds, brainless.

She's been his girlfriend for less than three months. Having her so openly focused on him is still a new experience. In general he's really not used to being anybody's first priority. He still pinches himself sometimes to make sure he's not dreaming when Hikari ducks under one of his arms to curl against his side on the train or in front of the television.

Still, he manages a weary smile, and greets her. "I'm glad you managed to make it out," he says, and his voice is hoarse, "I know you weren't sure you'd be able to see the whole game, or even be here at all."

He lifts his neck towel and wipes some lingering rainwater off of his face.

...She's a little flushed, he notes. Wearing a decent raincoat and carrying an umbrella. She's just a bit damp, where he's still pretty drenched. (the moisture and humidity add just a touch of wisp to her hair though, lift it just a little from its usual straight line. It's cute.)

A half suppressed laugh trickles out of her as she looks up at him. Daisuke's not very tall- he's right around average height- but he's strong, filling out a lot as he nears the end of his growth period, so Hikari looks almost tiny next to him now. (She certainly feels delicate when he hugs her)

Her eyes are shimmering. It's easy to see she's feeling pretty emotional right now, and she still hasn't said anything. Daisuke rifles a hand through his hair awkwardly.

"...Uh...Hikari-chan?" He asks, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she blurts, beaming, "Sorry. You were just- you were incredible out there. I think you left everyone there starstruck."

"O-oh," he feels himself flush, "Y'think? Those last few minutes I was running on autopilot, so I wasn't really-"

The rest of whatever rambling he was launching into freezes and catches in his throat. If real life came with record scratches or freeze frames, this would be one of those moments.

She's usually the one to kiss him first. He's a little shy, still, not completely confident taking the initiative with affection yet.

But this is- she's never jerked him down by the collar before. Certainly not so suddenly and so sharply that he's actually unbalanced and brought in.

It's a hell of a kiss, to be frank. Firm, held out for so long, her hands moving to his shoulders, pulling herself in as close as she can until he has the presence of mind to lift her at the waist and kiss back.

He's outright dizzy when she finally lets him break away for air, and Hikari is flushed and beaming.

"Uh," he fumbles, "Oh, uh. Okay."

She peppers his face with short, sweet little pecks until he's laughing, and then she hugs him tight.

"I know how hard you worked to get here," She murmurs, "I'm so proud of you. Congratulations, Daisuke."

He tenses just a little in response. Hearing this kind of praise from anyone is always a bit of a tearjerker for him, but from Hikari it's a million times more significant.

"Yeah," He breathes, setting her down and holding his hand out for the umbrella. "...Let's get to the station, though. I want to get somewhere I can change into dry clothes. And then maybe pass out for a couple of hours. I'm beat."

#「ʜᴇʀᴏᴇꜱ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴩʟᴀɪɴ║ꜱᴏ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ꜱᴇᴇ yᴏᴜʀ ᴩᴀɪɴ」 [Daisuke]#「ᴡʜᴇɴ ʟɪꜰᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇꜱ ᴜꜱ ʙʟɪɴᴅ║ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴋᴇᴇᴩꜱ ᴜꜱ ᴋɪɴᴅ」 [Daisuke🎔Hikari;sorrowmarked]

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this-fine-day · 1 year ago

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Yeah, Millie, he's pretty damn sure.

#moxxie helluva boss #striker helluva boss #millie helluva boss #strixxie #strixxlie #helluva boss fanart #helluva boss #digital sketch #it's the quenchiest #striker is so done with the lack of professionalism #striker x moxxie #striker x moxxie x millie

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unofficialkfamtranscripts · 5 years ago

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King Falls AM - Episode Eleven: Ringin’ Hell’s Doorbell

View on Google Docs

Summary: October 1, 2015 - After an unexpected listener call-in, the boys find a cassette tape in the mail and listen live as an adventure unfolds from one of King Falls less-friendly hiking trails.

[podcast intro music]

[KFAM intro music]

Sammy Welcome back, everyone. The time is 4:44AM here at King Falls AM.

Ben It’s a slow night. You wanna do… weather and traffic?

Sammy It’s warmin’ up! And if there’s traffic at this ungodly hour, we got problems.

Ben *snickers* Got that right, Sammy! Uh, before we go back to the phones in a sec, I’ve got an email I’d like to read you. I think you’ll get a kick out of this. [definitely smirking]

Sammy Oh! Well, very cool. Alright, whatcha got?

Ben [eager] So, you know I wrote the producers of Mission Apparition, right?

Sammy … No. What are you talkin’ about?

Ben Yes you do. It’s that brain tumor of a show on Channel 13?

Sammy I-I- I know the show, Ben! I’m saying I didn’t know you wrote them.

Ben Dude. You’re gonna love it. I emailed trying to get them booked as guests so we could tear them apart. *snicker*

Sammy Well, I mean, they did keep the lights on a few weeks back, running an ad, of course. [not hopeful] So, please don’t tell me you got confrontational?

Ben If telling the truth about their staged scares counts as confrontational, then… [smug] I totally did.

Sammy Okay, so you accost a paid sponsor of King Falls AM; please continue…

Ben *excited laughter* Okay, let me read this to you. “Dear Sammy,”- [aside] sorry, you— left your station email up.

Sammy Uh-huh.

Ben “Dear Sammy, We at Mission Apparition are extremely sorry! you feel the show is “Overly Produced” and not “true to the nature of actual distressed spirits.” In actuality, Dan and Larry are two of the most highly trained professionals in this field. While we appreciate constructive criticism, name-calling just isn’t needed. If you have any real suggestions to make the show better, please let us know.”

Sammy Ben. [resigned] What did you call them?

Ben Doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I wrote them back, and they’re going to be shooting a future episode- of the show- in King Falls.

Sammy No way!

Ben I said “we have many fine spectral establishments here.” The gauntlet was thrown down and they took the bait.

Sammy As much as I hate to say this, you’re gonna get to see the Mission Apparition guys in a real situation at least.

Ben Oh yeah. [stoked] I’m not sure which to offer up the old Slaughter House off Cottontail Hollow or the library.

Sammy I’m not gonna make a you’re-trying-to-impress-Emily comment here, because I know that that place is chock full of activity.

Ben Exactly.

Sammy But… [semi-muttered] You are trying to impress Emily.

Ben *deep breath* Whatevs. K-ca- Okay, get this though! After I told them I was co-host of a late-night AM talk show? they asked if I’d like to come on set so I can get an interview live.

Sammy Well, book it! Make it happen!

Ben Done and done.

Sammy But please stop using my email.

Ben No promises.

Sammy Alright folks, after that exciting announcement, we’re gonna open up the phone lines to you, our dear listeners. And, uh, Ben? You got a topic?

Ben *tsk* I absolutely do, but you can’t have it until a touch after the 5 o’clock hour, Sammy.

Sammy You heard the man, ladies and gents. It’s a bonafide free-for-all for the next ten minutes or so. Give us a call 424-279-3858.

Ben Or hit us up on twitter @kingfallsam

Sammy Lucky Line 1, you’re live with Sammy and Ben.

Line 1 [deep, nasally, almost bestial voice] Uh, yeah… *heavy breathing, smacking lips* Did you check the mail? Heh

Sammy [mildly sarcastic] Maybe once or twice in my lifetime, uh, do you have a topic? Or is this Ted Kaczynski[1] calling from prison?

Line 1 Uh… you’ll have a topic sooon… heh… [ominous click, dial tone]

Ben Yoouu know I should go take a look in our mail slot now, right?

Sammy [exasperated] Don’t.

Ben It’s a verbal triple-dog-dare! I’ll be right back.

Sammy *sighs* One day, it’s just gonna be a head. I just know it. Line 5, welcome to King Falls AM.

[ominous music]

Line 5 [voice is male, higher pitched, and very nervous] Oh, I got through! Sammy?! I- I need to speak with you in private. Please!

Sammy Iii’m gonna be a little bit sir- we just came back from break. But I’m happy to talk about whatever.

Line 5 We really can’t talk about this on the air. Ehh *nervous breathing* It’s about… wwel-I- *quick sigh* - I really don’t wanna say too much, but— I sent you a text message about, uh…ohh…a month or so back? We need to speak! It’s incredibly urgent!

Sammy Sir, I get a lot of texts over the course of a month.

Line 5 W-well- we can’t talk about this on the air.

Sammy Who am I speaking with?

Ben [returning] We have mail, Sammy!

Line 5 [almost whispered] I turned the power back on…

Ben Mr. Thompson?

Probably Mr. Thompson Err— no! [click, dial tone]

Sammy Hello? Sir?

Ben What was that about? [laughing slightly] I swear that dude sounded just like my old science professor.

Sammy Can you get a number on line 5, Ben?

Ben … Yeah! Yeah… uh, in a minute! Look at this!

Sammy *laugh* Is that a cassette tape?

Ben Yeah. No letter— just a tape. It’s labeled “D.D.” [eager] We should play this.

Sammy I hope it’s Duran Duran.

Ben I’ll just stick this in… heeere.

Sammy Uh, do you think we should listen to that first? I know you got a trigger finger on the dump, but…

Ben [smugly] You’re looking at the fastest finger in the tri-state.

Sammy You know, there’s a dirty joke there that, for our friendship, I’m just gonna cruise- right on past.

Ben Where’s the play button on this hunk’a junk? Merv, why do we have a cassette player in the studio?! It’s 2015.

Sammy I think you know why.

Ben [hands rubbing together] I’m excited! [sounds of tape being inserted in the player]

Sammy You better be payin’ attention. I don’t want to hear one –

[TAPE PLAYS]

Lance [heavy Australian accent, narrating like a documentary] “This is Lance McCord checking in. I’m about 5 kilometers off the Stealth Ridge Trail now. It’s heavily wooded and just getting thicker.”

[stop click]

Sammy Do you know this guy? “Lance”?

Ben Never heard of him. But if the “R” word was politically correct for broadcast? I’d totally use it for him right now. That trail is like the boonies within the boonies.

[play click]

Lance “So far so good. I was- I was a bit worried with all the tall tales surrounding the ‘Devil’s Doorstep.’ I guess that’s why I’m talking to you; tracing my steps. Nothing strange or out of the ordinary. I have noticed a lack of wildlife and birds, to be this far in the bush.”

[stop click]

Ben … There is no way.

Sammy “The Devils Doorstep”?

Ben Definitely the R-word— or has a death wish! Or both!

Sammy Where is this place?

Ben [reluctant] It’s north of King Falls. It’s a dark-ass set of woods. Obviously, this guy isn’t from around here because he’d know you don’t even talk about it, much less go there.

Sammy Ominous…

Ben And We Don’t joke about it.

Sammy [challenge accepted] It sounds so inviting, The Devil’s Doorstep. What kind of Welcome Mat do you think the Dark Lord picks out? Do you think he has a “NO SOLICITING” sign?

Ben Stop it. I know you laugh about stuff like this, but… Don’t.

[play click]

[eerie siren-like singing in bg]

Lance “Right, about 30 minutes from my last check in. My mobile has lost signal. It- looks like it’s just you and me, pal. I lost a little bit of, uh, time. I got turned around a few minutes back. All the paths are starting to look really similar, so, it’s hard to… [ominous chant-singing in bg. there’s static/rustling/indistinct whispers that fades in and out] Still no wildlife. I don’t know if any men or women have ever stepped where I’m stepping. I kind of like that.”

[stop click, siren song stops]

Sammy Did you hear something there?

Ben NOPE! NO SINGING.

Sammy I didn’t say singing. I said something.

Ben I didn’t hear anything!

[play click]

[static or whispers in bg]

Lance “It’s getting colder now. Darker. That or my- mind is playing the tiniest of tricks on me. Voices, singing— whispers. It’s, uh– it’s head games. [siren song begins] Nothing’s gonna stop me from making it to the gate.”

[stop click]

Ben I think that’s enough.

Sammy Ben, honestly. “Gate?” I’m not following here. You’re the expert, what’s he looking for? Or- or why’s he even looking for it?

Ben COMMERCIAL TIME! Let’s do this…

[“exciting” sports channel music]

Announcer [Mexican accent] Weekdays! 6 to 9 AM, Listen to the Hector el Chavo Show! The fastest growing show in the fastest growing demographic in the tri-state area! On King Falls Deportes! AM. Every week, Hector el Chavo discusses your favorite sports with your favorite players! Don’t miss out this week. Monday we talk to Big Pine Striker, Javier Rancor. Tuesday we’ll talk to Saddle Creek midfielder, Jorge Carpe-Gutierrez! And Friday we talk to King Falls Goalie Bubba “Super Gringo” Wallis! Tune in to Hector el Chavo Show, King Falls Deportes on 730AM. Your sports capital for goal!!!

[KFAM theme music]

Sammy And welcome back to King Falls AM that’s 660 on the radio dial. We’ve just been listening to a tape we received anonymously. Apparently, there’s a hiker out adventuring in—

Ben [desperately, voice breaking] LINE 8, you’re live.

Finn Ooh boy! Things are getting tense on that tape, y’know?!

Ben Forget the tape! Ha-how-how’re you doing, Finn? Is everything— still intact?

Finn Doin’ swell, just swell! [scratching sounds]

Ben You okay there, Finn?

Finn Oh sorry! Didn’t think you’d pick that up. I’ve just been scratchin something awful the past couple weeks. I got in some poison oak, or— something – I don’t know!

Sammy Glad to hear you’re doing well, after…

Finn *growling* [scratching continues]

Ben [apprehensively] … You got a travel buddy with you tonight, Finn?

Finn Oh, no. [horn in bg] Just got cut off going down the highway, here. [muttered] Lousy drivers… [almost shouting] we got three other lanes y’know! [distracted] Ahh! Look at the food billboards!

Sammy Okaaay. Um, what’s on your mind tonight buddy?

Finn Ah, just callin’ in to say hi… that sorta thing. Plus, this story? Wooweee, who is this guy? Have you talked about this place before? I don’t think I heard you mention it… Uhh, I don’t think…

Ben Because we don’t, Finn.

Finn Spoooky stuff, fellas!

Sammy Yeeaah… I don’t know if you were–

Finn *howls loudly*

Ben I- I’m sorry. Yyou gotta keep your pup- quiet.

Finn [confused] Pup? No doggy here! Just you two fellas- and mee, rolling down the rooaad.

Sammy You don’t have a dog with you, Finn?

Finn Couldn’t if I wanted to. I’m allergic. [scratching]

Ben Are… are you feeling okay? Did you ever get checked out after that night you hit that… were— dog?

Finn What?! I wouldn’t lay hands on a pooch! Are you feelin’ alright, Ben?

Sammy *laugh* He’s talkin’ about the dog you accidentally hit awhile back. Uh, y-you got out to check on it and the call dropped off?

Finn Uh… Naooo, wasn’t me. Y’know, I think I’d remember somethin’ like that! [honking in bg, sound of semi passing] Dammit all, I gotta go, boys. Can’t scratch, drive, and talk at the same time. Finish that tape, it’s givin’ me the willies!

Ben Stay awake and- stay safe, Finn… Make a doctor’s appointment!— maybe…

Sammy Or a vet…

Finn *chuckles* Oh, you two! I’ll catch you later. *loud howl*

[click, dial tone]

Sammy Now, Ben. You know- I love what you do on this show. I wouldn’t wanna do this with anybody-else… BUT. I’ve got a tiny issue with you cutting to unscheduled breaks during conversations.

Ben [innocently] Did that happen? I’m so sorry, I just… I’m so interested in—

Sammy In doing everything but playing that tape. You got us all interested now, man. You gotta follow through.

Ben Okay– [definitely not having fun] it was fun! but I think we should just forget about it.

Sammy Impossible.

Ben S-sit down, don’t—

[play click]

Lance [wind gusting] “There’s no doubt that something is, uh, keeping me away from the gate at this point. [siren song in bg] My- watch has just stopped working, so I don’t know what time it is. I can’t really see the sun from the thickest overhangs to tell… I checked my compass [sing-chanting in bg] to ensure I was… [rustling] WHAT THE?” [creepy sing-chanting intensifies]

Super Creepy Whisper Voice “TURRRN. BAAACK. NOOOW.”

Lance “My fu[bleep]ing compass- is literally spinning like a top! There’s EVIL in these woods! You can feel it- in the air! It’s palpable!”

[stop click]

Sammy Ben! Don’t be mad!

Ben [seriously upset] We shouldn’t be playing this! This isn’t a joke, man! This is a tape that probably needs to go to the proper authorities! I’m gonna google Missing Persons.

Sammy Look, I’m not against that. But let’s finish this up, and at the very least talk to me. Tell us a little bit about the woods.

Ben If- if I tell you, will you stop playing the damn tape?

Sammy Absolutely! Help fill these last minutes until your actual topic of discussion arrives.

Ben *heavy sigh* The path, Lance is on, is called Stealth Ridge. It’s about a five-mile round-trip hike up north in- Perdition Wood.

Sammy You guys really know how to name things here.

Ben *deep breath* Okay, supposedly— as in, “legend-has-it” kind of talk, way off the beaten path— I mean WAY off, as in nobody’s ever seen it— is what he’s looking for. A cave called… [reluctant] “The Devil’s Doorstep”

Sammy Uh-huh.

Ben [agitated] Put two and two together here- Sammy! It’s an entrance to the gates of hell! Many people have went out looking for it! None have ever found it— SOME never return.

Sammy [softly] Have you been up there, Ben?

Ben Once…

Sammy And?

Ben Are you serious?! HELL NO, I haven’t been! I’m not crazy like Crocodile Dundee[1] on that tape.

Sammy I mean, he’s gotta be okay, right? The tape made it here! [getting nervous] I-it could’ve been him who dropped it off in our mail and called tonight! Right?

Ben This was fun for a minute, now it’s just massively creepy. Let’s move— [play click] SAMMY!

Sammy Du- you’re looking at me! I didn’t push the button!

[siren song]

Lance “It is so cold. [wind gusting] I’ve des-scended a great deal from the initial crest- of the ridge it seems … I saw what appeared to be—”

Super Creepy Whisper Voice “LAASST. WAARRNING. MORRTALLL.”

Ben TURN IT OFF!

[click of buttons being pressed on tape player]

[rustling/cracking in bg]

Lance “What the F[bleep] is that?!”

Sammy [sarcastically] Good job!

Ben Alright it won’t stop. Unplug it! I’m not kidding.

Sammy It is unplugged!

[creepy sing-chanting starts, chilling scream]

Lance *breathing hard* “It’s after me! … [calmer] Umm, I- I don’t know what that was. [song/chant continues in bg] I’m heading to the lip of this cove, here. I think I’m just gonna- wait it out- u-until morning. I’m wet, cold– I, uh, caught my jacket in the bush. I’m bleeding— Jesus… My, uh- my phone is missing. God dammit. It really is just you and— [rustling/cracking]

Super Creepy Not-Whisper Voice MEEE!!!

Lance “No! [impact noise] Help me!!” [sound of running, anguished scream from Lance]

[sing-chanting continues]

[KFAM outro music]

[CREDITS]

References

[1] Crocodile Dundee - Crocodile Dundee is a series of action comedy films centered around a crocodile hunter from the Australian Outback named Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee.

#king falls am #king falls #kfam #sammy stevens #Ben Arnold #kfam transcripts #kfam ep11 #mr. thompson #finn the truck driver

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armsdealing · 5 years ago

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❤ matt and neil & nathaniel and matthew. thank you

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME / inbox cleaning + not accepting. / @undones

ah yes, our two ships with exact same names --

putting both under the cut as to avoid length.

matt and neil.

who’s more dominant: i generally don’t think in those terms for either of them? it’s a balanced relationship. they communicate and reach compromises or decide between each other the best course of action. sometimes, matt takes more of the initiative for certain things, but that’s simply because neil is inexperienced regarding relationships -- and he still gets to decide whether he’s comfortable or not at any given point. and i believe that once neil is more comfortable, he’ll probably take the initiative just as much.

who’s the cuddler: matt loves a good ol snuggle

who’s the big spoon/little spoon: matt is definitely the big spoon to neil’s little spoon.

what’s their favorite non-sexual activity: listen these people met through sports, and yeah i’m sure matt enjoys a good scrimmage session (especially considering neil is a striker and matt a backliner so each gets to practice against their opposing roles) but there’s also other things in their lives i’m sure like.... matt tries to get neil interested in videogames, probably simple ones like mario kart (would be funny if neil found himself crazy competitive about it all of a sudden) and such and, eventually, if he likes them, some other ones. matt likes to do things with neil, anything at all. neil’s had such a crazy life, he figures domestic, idyllic things are actually new experiences.

who uses all the hot water: matt does not like to shower with hot water for too long anyway and he usually switches to warm/cold.

most trivial thing they fight over: neil the jorts need to go. stop dressing like you’re 46.

who does most of the cleaning: they both take turns and pull their weight but since matt does most of the cooking neil usually gets the clean up afterwards.

what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue: usually matt is the one picking things unless neil has interest in something in particular.

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: matt?

who leaves their stuff around: matt!

who remembers to buy the milk: neither.

who remembers anniversaries: i feel like they’re meaningful to the two of them and both remember, but they don’t necessarily celebrate them in a grand way.

who cooks normally: i said it.... it’s matt.

how often do they fight: basically never. i mean, some arguments are bound to be had, but it’s usually over minor things, or big things and not generally out of anger but concern. they’re never fights since they never let it escalate to that point.

what do they do when they’re away from each other: they begin to spend a lot of time away from each other since matt graduates college and neil stays studying at palmetto, and then later when neil gets into his own professional team and what not, so they’re used to the long distance. they text and facetime often.

nicknames for each other: neil sometimes gets called babe what’s His thoughts on this.

who is more likely to pay for dinner: both are likely cuz both got money.

who steals the covers at night: neil!

what would they get each other for gifts: matt would get neil clothes or exy related gear and neil can always give him hiking gear. can’t go wrong with any of those things.

who kissed who first: matt kissed neil first :’)

who made the first move: matt. see above!

who remembers things: i feel like neil all around has a better memory than matt for things.

who started the relationship: it was a mutual decision.

who cusses more: this one genuinely makes me think? i feel like neither is big on swearing, they just do it when it feels right.

what would they do if the other one was hurt: skulls would get Busted!

who is the dirty talker: hmmm... it’s matt. but like, he’s not that much of a dirty talker in the first place.

a head canon: we’ve said it before but imma say it again: they once kissed in celebration of neil scoring and everyone went apeshit.

matthew and nathaniel.

who’s more dominant: matthew is generally kind of a dominant personality, not overbearing with it but he is just in certain aspects (mostly the professional). out of the bedroom they’re pretty equal. in the bedroom, matthew is more the one setting the scene, nathaniel is more just relaxing and being taken care of. not submissive, just willing to be guided.

who’s the cuddler: nathaniel is more of a cuddler and generally more physically affectionate, but matthew enjoys it just the same.

who’s the big spoon/little spoon: they actually take turns with that, it depends on the mood!

what’s their favorite non-sexual activity: pillow talk is a frequent thing, even the nights they don’t have sex they spend at least a few minutes in bed every night talking about the day and the kids and one another before they go to sleep. they also like to go on walks together with cinnamon (their dog), playing with their pet, reading together quietly in the living room or watching tv -- they’re the sort of couple that will sit and watch dumb reality shows just to criticize how silly things are getting. the hilarious part is when they get actually a little invested.

who uses all the hot water: it’s not usually a problem that presents itself at their home.

most trivial thing they fight over: listen, they’ve been married for decades now. they don’t fight, but they bicker in a good-hearted fashion quite a bit, usually about events in the aforementioned tv shows (whether that guy really deserved to get the rose or not, etc), or about whether they dislike or not this new brand of quinoa over the old one, or about whether the new curtains make the living room feel inviting or they simply make the room feel hot. matthew is nitpicky and deadpan; nathaniel is playfully argumentative and a wisecrack. do they both know these topics are trivial and don’t really affect the larger picture? yes. does it stop them from discussing them? not at all. it’s how they communicate. they’re at that stage were they can be 100% honest with each other and it doesn’t lend itself to a bigger deal than it actually is. and sometimes they make each other laugh.

who does most of the cleaning: they’re both pretty tidy, but in different angles. matthew wants things to look clean, and nathaniel wants things to look good. matthew enjoys minimalism; nathaniel likes clutter. they take care of it together, with the help of all their children.

what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue: nathaniel usually picks the movies and shows.

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: they’re house owners, it’s largely a problem they have to work out together. nathaniel is the seasoned handyman of the two, though -- he usually gets that fixed.

who leaves their stuff around: their kids. out of the two, nathaniel is just a little more forgetful.

who remembers to buy the milk: there’s a corkboard chore chart in the kitchen (yes they’re that kind of parent -- at least mostly matthew -- but it’s actually pretty cute. outside his own office, that’s where he likes to put the kids’ drawings) and whoever has to buy the groceries (be it them or one of their older kids) is the one who has to remember. but it’s both matthew and nathaniel who sit down together and figure out what needs to be bought in order to write the grocery list.

who remembers anniversaries: matthew has the better memory. he usually reminds nathaniel a week in advance to figure out if they’re gonna plan something or just chill out.

who cooks normally: they’re both very good cooks and usually, they cook together. but nathaniel has more natural talent and intuition, matthew is just better at following recipes.

how often do they fight: like i said above, these two have been together for a long time. they’ve had their fair share of small, medium-sized, and big fights/arguments, but nowadays they’re more likely to have a calm discussion. since they’re so honest and used to conversing with each other, fights born out of misunderstanding or lies are virtually non-existant. it has to be something to do with the children, maybe some problem they may be facing, so it’s as often as such circumstances may present themselves.

what do they do when they’re away from each other: at the beginning of their relationship there periods of distance between them due to the nature of their jobs. nowadays separation is rare, but if it’s to visit family or some kind of work-related errand then they just text, call each other every day to have their nightly conversations and do what needs to be done.

nicknames for each other: it’s actually a deal for them that there’s a pointed lack of nicknames for their given names. matthew is never matt, and nathaniel is never nate. it’s always their full names. matthew, overly formal dummy that he is, does not like nicknames used on him, or to use nicknames for others (unless that person expresses desire to be called by them, in which case he will respect their wishes). since nathaniel actually enjoys this (like you mentioned to me the other time), then that is usually what they call each other. of course, there will be also be the usuals (baby, honey, sweetheart) peppered in.

who is more likely to pay for dinner: they’re married. but back when they were just dating, just starting to date, matthew liked to pay.

who steals the covers at night: nathaniel.

what would they get each other for gifts: clothes, framed photographs of them as a couple or the family, gardening or baking tools (for nathaniel), boat stuff (for matthew); nathaniel loves keepsakes, to matthew has prepared albums of pictures of them when they were younger, or their kids when they were younger, or even drawings the children have made, as well as digitized copies of all of them including home videos. matthew likes chess, whittling and wooden figurines, so nathaniel once commissioned a handcrafted chess set for him.

who kissed who first: matthew kissed him first.

who made the first move: matthew.

who remembers things: matthew has the better memory, but both remember the important things.

who started the relationship: both of them.

who cusses more: nathaniel. never around the kids, of course.

what would they do if the other one was hurt: drop everything and go to where the other is.

who is the dirty talker: matthew, surprisingly.

a head canon: it was matthew who taught daniel (their youngest, a toddler now) how to talk, but it was nathaniel who taught him how to walk. matthew argues this was a mistake.

#( matt & neil. )#( matthew & nathaniel. )#answered ooc.#survivedsa

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the-necessary-unnecessary · 5 years ago

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Has something happened with Espanyol this season? lost a coach, lost players? because they were mid table last season, nothing spectacular but certainly better overall and not like what's happening with them this season.

no one really talks about the problems that they’ve had this year, but from what i’ve gathered it’s been absolute chaos all round. Managerial wise they have changed coach quite a way into the season. The one they started this year off with was the same one that had coached them to decent reults last season but, having won none out of 11 matches they decided to sack him and replace him with another coach who honestly hasn’t brought much change whatsoever. I’ve read a couple of interviews with the new guy and over paper I don’t like him. He comes across as stubborn, defensive, and a person who comes up with excuses- if this is what he’s actually like as a trainer then their situation starts to make more sense. They’ve also suffered some injuries including their goalkeeper, and their 4 signings in the winter market haven’t done much to stopper their holes in their defense. Their striker signing can’t even play yet as since she didn’t renew her contract with Valencia last summer she hasn’t been playing in a professional team. And now with Eli gone it looks like even more of a lost cause.

I think, in part, a bad start to the season has spiralled into something uncontrollable resulting in a lack of confidence and continued bad results. It’s a real shame as Espanyol was one of the torch bearers of women’s football in Spain so to see them crumble like this, on the surface so inexplicably, is painful.

#the asks #rcd espanyol femenino

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sportsmuseumdcny-blog · 6 years ago

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Peak Efficiency in Sports

In the sports sector, peak efficiency in sports has constantly been a much sought after state by players and trains of all degrees. Whether the professional athletes are school boys soccer gamers or Olympians striving for their Gold medals, peak efficiency in sporting activities has actually always attracted professional athletes and also trainers alike. In our modern age of sports, where sporting activities science goes to a dizzying degree and also rising, what are the aspects that when applied properly can lead sports individuals to peak efficiency in sports? Are there secrets to showing off quality? Are these factors easily controlled for the benefits of the athletes? This post talks about the elements that can lead professional athletes as well as coaches to peak efficiency in sports.

There has been many posts and publications detailing concepts, programs, success variables and so forth that can bring about peak performance in sports. Several writers have composed at length regarding them and also in lots of ways, the principles and also factors are universal. The principles of modern resistance, selection, objective certain training, recovery, etc are all undisputed underlying reasons that enables athletes to attain peak performance in sporting activities. This short article goes an action better by exploring these global factors in a different light. At the same time, I intend to give athletes and trains alike how to almost apply these principles as well as which are the variables with higher weightage in regards to accomplishing success and optimal efficiency in sporting activities.

1. Top quality Preparation

The hard work for any kind of sports period begins with the preseason training which is really extensive. No body likes this season, as the work and also training required is typically very dull and excruciating. Yet this needs to be done for the professional athletes to be optimally gotten ready for the rigours of the affordable stage. The endurance, strength, speed as well as ability volumes should be done. Not just the volume of job, but just how much top quality is taken into the preparation stage is vital also. When players reduced edges and put in training at stated value without their heart and soul, it will certainly appear later in the competitors as exhaustion, injuries or lack of intensity in their performance. Peak efficiency in sporting activities can not be possible under such conditions. The quality of preseason prep work is much more vital in young people sports.

Extremely frequently in schools, the playing seasons for numerous sporting activities begin practically promptly when the school year starts. With our kids away for long trips, our professional athletes extremely frequently go back to college to deal with competitors with very little training time. Interplay, physical fitness structure and also mental prep work are supposed to be done in 2-3 weeks, which in a sporting activities world is virtually impossible and impractical. This kind of prep work is also damaging to the growth of our children. Under these scenarios, coaches and also teachers (as well as parents ideally) have an extremely essential duty to make sure that our athletes are well gotten ready for competitors. Educating programs for sports should certainly be formulated and implemented at year's end formerly. Our professional athletes need to recognize that their season efficiently began when their exams more than. With a training programme began, trains and instructors can than advise professional athletes concerning a holiday training program also. Each athlete must have one wherein, they can do something to boost their playing abilities during their break away from institution. It might consist of points like maintain a specific requirement of fitness via endurance activities like cycling, running or swimming, playing catch and also pitching in the backyard with their brother or sisters, and even specific methods to improve certain skills. The important things here is to maintain as well as improve what has been achieved in the coming before period, so that athletes do not return back to college and start from scratch. Just preparation and training this way will guarantee high quality prep work for the sporting activities teams to acquire peak efficiency in sports later on.

2. Understanding Individual Abilities

In all sports as well as video games, there are particular capability as well as skills that are taken into consideration basic and needed. These must be accomplished by professional athletes before they can play at a higher level later on. In basketball, dribbling as well as implementing an appropriate lay-up are vital. Throwing, capturing and fielding abilities are a have to in baseball as well as softball. The push-pass and also receiving a pass are required abilities in hockey and flooring ball. The list takes place. In preseason training, or at the earliest having fun phase, these important abilities must be made recognized to our young gamers, and all efforts and time should be invested in mastering these standard abilities. Without these skills, a train will discover it very hard to execute extra complicated team plays to accomplish peak efficiency in sports. If strikers can not also regulate a long pass from a colleague, how can we expect the very same gamer to stand up the ball well up area against oppositions protectors and execute lay-off passed to approaching teammates in support. It will certainly be sensible for coaches to develop these abilities early and likewise for gamers to maintain improving themselves in these abilities even though they may really feel that they are good enough already.

Also at specialist degrees, these standard abilities for their sports is important for peak efficiency in sports. The collection of abilities required and the intensity of just how these abilities are executed at the highest degree are a lot more acute. At the highest levels where opponents are very equally match in all areas, one mistake can commonly lead to a win or loss. It is much more important for professionals to master all the abilities needed of the game or sporting activities. Only under such extreme conditions can peak efficiency in sports be feasible.

3. High Health And Fitness Levels

At senior high school levels, numerous professional athletes would certainly not have actually reached their maximal physical development yet no matter how much they train. From a physical standpoint speaking, the growth around in youths is very different. Some children reach a high health and fitness basic faster than others, while others have physique that will just react to training ideally when they get older. Therefore, it can be assumed that a team with the fittest group of gamers will have the most benefit. Regardless of exactly how proficient your challengers are, if you are fitter than him or her, you will have the ability to overcome your absence of physical fitness by reacting quickly to conquer your short loss. Let's say, you are out dripped by a superior challenger in football. However if you are fitter than your opponent that have just out-dribbled you, you will certainly have the ability to track back fast enough to cover your setting once again. This side in physical fitness for young people is very vital at the later phases of the video game too, as gamers have a tendency to tire quicker at this age. A trimmer group will certainly have the ability to prevail and rack up more later on in the video game. Players at this age requirement to be convinced of this demand for physical fitness, as well as be encouraged to do whatever they can to obtain the highest degree of physical fitness feasible.

External Links:-

Sports Museum DCNY Wordpress Jigsy Getpocket Instapaper

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sublimeobservationarcade · 3 years ago

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Do Australian Golfers Lack Competitive Steel?

Do our professional golfers have less of the right stuff than their American counterparts? Do Australian golfers lack competitive steel when it matters most? Watching the recent Presidents Cup and looking at past records in this event the evidence indicates that this may be so. The game of golf comes down to making putts and the Americans get it done on the greens. Getting that little white ball in the hole is what winning is all about in golf. Big drives are great but if you can’t get it done on the greens you are playing for second place.

Photo by tyler hendy on Pexels.com

Are Aussie Pro Golfers Light Weights in Team Golf Events?

Adam Scott is one of the best ball strikers in the business but run of the mill on the greens. Young Cam Davis did a great job in his first Presidents Cup and was impressive. The American team were ranked far ahead of the Internationals in form and class, as they usually are in this event. In addition, they are all veterans of a college golf system which produces matchplay hardened golfers. Australia lacks any comparable competitive pathway format.

Photo by Steve Momot on Pexels.com Do We Under Perform on the Greens Under Pressure? Unless our best players go to the States and follow this pathway (as many aspiring golfers do) our professionals will lack this grounding. There is not enough team golf competition in Australia at both amateur and professional levels. The Americans play the Ryder Cup, of course, and this doubles their exposure to matchplay and team golf at the highest level. The International players are dilettantes in comparison to guys like Jordan Spieth and Justin Thomas. Boy, is this obvious to see watching an event like the Presidents Cup. The International team really missed someone like Cameron Smith on the greens at Quail Hollow. The Koreans’ left us for dead on the greens at this event showing a lot more moxie than the Aussies. Do Australian golfers lack competitive steel? Forget the excuses, our golfers have a pretty average record in the single’s matches on Sundays in the Presidents Cup. Tom Kim was outstanding for the International team. How can we as a nation get better? What can we do to train our professional tournament golfers to perform better on the greens under the immense pressure of international competition? Does the PGA of Australia need to pull their finger out at home? It would be great to see an international team event between Australasia and Africa every two years. More events like this would capture the interest of golf fans locally and improve the bonafides of Aussie golfers for top shelf stuff like the Presidents Cup. ©GolfDom Read the full article

#AdamScott #AustralianGolfers

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thecoroutfitters · 6 years ago

Link

Written by Wild Bill on The Prepper Journal.

Editors Note: I posted a contributed article from Jay Chambers of Minute Man Review on gun safety on another site back in September, and I will include a link to that posting at the end of this article. I want to sincerely thank Jay for that article and I respect his goals and reasoning for its content. I have re-written it here to bring it more in line with our audience as most preppers are very safety conscious with weapons and know the potential for accidents is always present. Knowing that is the very first step in being safe when handling guns.

I am stating clearly that I have some differing opinions on the issue of gun safety and I think it has relevance here and now especially when considering that, hopefully a lot of real-life Ralphie’s of the Christmas story fame, will find their first rifle under the tree next week, be it a Red Ryder or a hunting grade weapon after they have already demonstrated their responsibly in the use of their Red Ryder.

I know my Red Ryder was and still remains my favorite Christmas gift from childhood and has been used to introduce a couple of dozen children of relatives, my own two as well, to guns. And it still shoots straight enough to reinforce my posted signs to the neighborhood birds that pooping on my pool deck is a capital offense.

When it comes to weapon safety, it’s not child’s play. Weapons are dangerous objects that should be handled carefully by professionals or experienced safety-conscious citizens. However, there are still accidents happening from lack of proper attention and handling. Can any of this be attributed to the rise in immersion sports like paintball and air-soft and video games such as Call of Duty? Your call. It the distant past we were brought up on TV shows like Roy Rogers or The Rifleman, where the results of gunshots were a stinging hand, or a clutched shoulder with no bleeding. We don’t have a lot of leg to stand on to throw rocks at today’s youth over this from our glass house – OMG! Could I work one more cliche into this sentence?

If Hollywood has done anything right in the past 50 years it has been to take the work of Sam Peckinpah and add more and more reality to it.

Weapon security checks are conducted by professionals in the military in order to ensure that no unwanted incident happens when the gun is used. It is an important part of military training and brings home the reality of having to use guns as the tool of your chosen trade. But what are they and why might professionals need to do them?

What Is a Weapon Security Check?

Basically, being in charge of a weapon means you need to be responsible and vigilant at all times. A gun must be treated like it’s always loaded – having this mindset firmly ingrained may stop you from the improper handling of the weapon, and save someones life and a world of hurt for all involved. The NRA point out, and rightly so, that on every bullet fired rides a lawyer, and every lawyer is always looking for a payday. Never forget that.

Again, some handlers mistakenly believe that the weapon is empty or safe when the reality is different, and the weapon is actually ready to fire. Other accidents may occur due to mechanical failures.

In order to avoid these things from happening, you need to perform a professional-level weapons security check or have a trusted gun smith perform one for you, especially when you have pumped a lot of rounds through it. A lot of preppers are qualified to do this as they may have served in the military and received the training and they not only upgrade weapons, beyond adding a Picatinny Rail or attaching a weapons light, but build out 80% lowers and fine tune gas tube systems, but ask yourself, can you see whether there are worn or broken parts in the sear, trigger or hammer/striker?

If these are worn or damaged, there is a chance they could give a weapon a very sensitive trigger.

How Do YOU Perform a Security Check work?

Here is how weapons should be checked to make sure they are secure:

Pointing it in a safe direction – ALWAYS

As expected, the gun needs to be pointed in a safe direction, ALWAYS. Basically, you need to ask yourself if someone would get hurt if they stayed in its range and it went off. If the answer is “yes”, then it should be pointed in another direction or the people in your inspection area should be removed, asked to leave while you do this.

Remove the Ammunition

All ammunition needs to be removed so there is no risk of getting hurt or harming someone else. A firearm that contains cartridges could have them in two possible places: the chamber and the magazine.

Check the chamber

Although you just emptied it, you need to make sure that the chamber is truly empty. Accidents occur when people don’t properly check the chamber, and they are harmed or die as a result. Don’t just assume it’s empty because you emptied it – check it again.

Verify the Feed Path

The next step is verifying the path that the cartridge follows from the magazine to the chamber. On firearms with tubular magazines, you need to ensure that the magazine follower is visible at the end of the magazine tube. Semi-automatic handguns and rifles should be inspected for stuck cartridges after the magazine has been removed. Rifles in particular for an open bore, and locked open bolt and no magazine, not even an empty one so your view is clear.

Check the Bore for Obstructions

There’s huge pressure used to expel a bullet out of the barrel. As a consequence, the barrel may not allow the aerodynamic pressure build behind the bullet to safely be released. It can end in an explosive rupture.

There are some re-loaders that make squib rounds, reducing the powder charge so they can test or practice in the basement of their home, their yard or their workshop. I am not a fan for all the obvious reasons. A failure of the gas-tube in a semi-automatic rifle can be catastrophic. I have been lucky in weapons where I have installed the adjustable gas tubes that the first indication is the spent round does not successfully eject preventing the magazine from feeding the next round. BUT this is because I always start with the adjustable gas tube setting as low as possible and work it up until it is efficient. There is a fine line between seeing the flash of a round vs maximizing the energy to propel a round down range, lawyer on board and all. I like a little flash as a backup reminder that the chamber/barrel is clear.

Also, you should always examine the barrel’s full length by inserting a cleaning rod down the end, in order to prevent an explosive rupture from happening. You could also visually inspect it while the firearm is pointed in a safe direction, free of ammunition, and the bolt locked back.

Could Weapons Be Safely Stored?

There are several ways in which a weapon could be stored. It can either be locked somewhere safe, disassembled or have a lock.

I am a big fan of gun safes for weapons not “on a mission” for two reasons, safety and theft. And by “on a mission” I mean my go-to weapon for home security, my back-up weapons in my BOB, which is secured and my EDC. But I live alone and secure these when I have expected visitors and unexpected visitors, especially if they include children.

As a home protection weapon you need to make your own call. Keeping all your weapons in a safe renders them less useful than harsh language or throwing the family cat at an intruder.

I keep my guns for shooting trap and skeet in a safe, as are my bug-out weapons and a number of handguns that are not my go-to self defense weapons. Here safety has to take into consideration the guns purpose, placement and the people who will have access to it, such as family members. Kids in the house – lock it up and keep the cat handy. Others coming and going like contractors, home care people, service people – chose wisely on on an individual basis.

And while storing a weapon disassembled could also prevent it from being used, especially if the pieces are stored in different locations, I am of the opinion that this is overkill. And of course there are certain locks that can be used to prevent the weapon from discharging. They come in several types: cable locks, trigger locks, smart guns, and chamber locks.

Trigger locks prevent the trigger from being manipulated, my experience is that getting a secure fit with one is more luck than skill as they designed for an array of weapons from a sales point and it you have changed to a competition trigger, or made any modifications you may not get the security you are seeking. Your experience may be different.

Most of the more modern weapons I have purchased came with Cable locks, and these generally work. All of my cable locks are in the weapons original box still, as I don’t add these to guns already in a safe. A personal choice, and a key ring that would look like I am the Key Master in a medieval adventure.

Chamber locks prevent the weapon from being loaded with ammunition. If you wonder how these locks can be removed in order to use the gun, don’t worry – they come without a key. I have seen many a video on the bio-metric locks that show how well they work. I also use one four (4) times daily to move in and out of work and it occasionally works on the first try. It is used by others so it gets a lot of fingers, not always clean ones, so maybe an unfair comparison, but it is my experience. I have people I trust who swear by them, people with small children at home. They are exercising their own good judgement.

Then there are the “smart” guns, which come with built-in locks, such as microchip implants, fingerprint recognition or magnetic rings (the Magna-Trigger system was developed by Joe Davis in 1975 for J-, K-, L-, & N-frame Smith & Wesson revolvers prevents the trigger from returning far enough to fire. It has proven reliable. This system will work ambidextrously, provided the magnetic rings used are worn on both hands). Many police agencies experimented with these as the fear of a suspect taking an LEO’s weapon and using on it on them is a real concern. Have you ever seen one in use? I worked on a grant from the National Institute of Justice (NIJ) on transitioning Department of Defense technologies to the Public Safety sector for three years and never came across an officer that thought these practical. However, as a gun owner, it is something you should know exists and may provide you with another level of confidence.

Anything with a micro-chip can be tampered with, anything. As a prepper I see smart guns as back-door to implement gun control. Get them in every gun and then disable the chip when you take control. Nope.

Professional Weapon Security Check?

I say yes on the gunsmith review for possibly worn parts. Even though I have done a lot of my own gunsmith work and can recognize worn parts, I have had two guns in my inventory, both handguns and from manufactures with excellent reputations, that have malfunctioned repeatedly. Both were sent back to the factories and were returned in no better working order than when I mailed them and both have had a half-dozen professional gun smiths look at them as well. Too small to turn into anchors, two dangerous looking to make paper-weights – does anyone even need paper-weights anymore? Both now take up space in my safe and only serve as lessons learned when purchasing.

These weapons need to be disposed of properly, so they don’t injure anyone. But what does that mean? I would never “turn them in” to any buy-back program run by a government agency. My friends would disown me, and rightfully so.

Conclusion

Weapons are not toys, they are never not loaded until YOU yourself have inspected them, and they must never be pointed at anything you do not want to injured or kill. Simple rules but we can get caught up in the moment. I always try and think of a weapon as a live venomous snake that will bite anything it can touch with its business end. When hunting or at the range I am every bit as conscious of how others around me are handling their weapons. I have been barrel-swept far too many times at a number of ranges and I am a jerk about it.

Guns are tools. They have a purpose and a place in every law abiding citizens household. They provide food for the hunters table, safety for those paid to protect us, safety for we who can’t wait for others to save us, and serve as an equalizer when faced with larger threat. Yes, they should be kept out of the hands of many but to date, how to do that is still the stuff of political agendas as opposed to individual responsibility.

Be safe out there.

The original article: Weapon Safety: What Is a Weapon Security Check and Why Does a Professional Need to Do it?

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billebille98-blog · 6 years ago

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Helping You Better Understand Soccer With These Simple To Follow Tips

Soccer is a fascinating sport and you can become an excellent player if you practice and make an effort to improve your techniques. If you want to increase your soccer skills, this article will be a great help. You will be able to improve your skills by focusing on the information in the following paragraphs. You should choose your cleats in function of your level. People that are just starting out should stick with plastic or synthetic ones. Advanced players should steer toward screw-in metal cleats, which can be used to play on different types of terrain. Fool your defenders by dribbling in the opposing direction you are seeking to go. go here The defender will probably go after you and then you can change your path quickly once they are moving with you. That's a great way to get around a defender. When it comes to soccer, you should take advantage of any opportunity you have to practice and sharpen your skills. Anytime you leave your home, bring along your soccer ball. Anytime you have free moments, practice some drills. You can also practice handling the ball as you walk from place to place. Keep in mind that soccer is fundamentally a team sport. Keep this information in mind. Team work is the most important part of playing soccer. Hot dogging will backfire on you. You need to play for the entire team's sake. Your team wins when you sacrifice your own game for the good of your overall team. When you are carrying the ball with a defender is approaching, make the pretense of passing the ball to another player. That will stop them for a moment, and you'll get a chance to think quickly about what you would like to do. Try to be animated and you'll be more likely to fool them. Practice with players that are more experienced. This is a good way to challenge yourself and improve your skills. Ask some questions and encourage more experienced players to give you some feedback. Most players like to teach skills to other players. If you are having trouble finding experienced players, scout out local games and then ask several players there if they would be willing to mentor you. To better your dribbling, try to practice using a tennis ball. Practicing with this little ball helps you get used to making constant adjustments with your feet to keep it in control. After getting comfortable with the tennis ball, it's a lot easier to work with a soccer ball. Look to the professionals playing the position you are interested in--watch closely how they handle the ball and position. When you imitate his techniques and strategies, you are going to get better at soccer. If a given player has signature techniques, try to adopt them. If the field is going to be muddy, wear shoes that are made to grip under slippery conditions. Soccer pros sometimes prefer cleats that can be removed. The best cleats for muddy fields are wide. You will want to have two cleats at the heel, and four at the midsole. Kick the ball the right way. There is quite a bit to kicking a ball and it's not all about just trying to kick it far. Kick toward the ball's bottom if you want it to go high up in the air. Use your foot like a wedge, get under the ball and kick up while leaning backwards. Try playing soccer indoors on occasion rather than outdoors. When you play indoors, your field will be smaller. Because of the smaller area, you'll need to work on the ball control and your decisions will need to be made quickly. This will help you when you play outdoors because you'll be used to thinking faster. Tryouts are the place to highlight the plays you are best at. Don't attempt moves you aren't comfortable with. If you're not positive that you're able to do something, don't attempt it until you're on the team. Train with both your strong and weak feet. If you're strong with both feet, you then become a much more versatile player. You'll be able to cut in whatever direction you like, shield the ball much better and play the different sides if you do this. Proper care and cleaning of your goalie gloves must be done. Soak them in warm, soapy water for an hour. Afterwards, rinse until the water runs clear. Follow this up by gently wringing the gloves out and placing them palm side down on the bathroom sink. There are many kinds of shin guards to choose from. Some just slide into your sock, but most varieties use Velcro that wraps around your calves. An advantage to Velcro is the ease of operation. It also lets you choose how tight or loose you want your shin guard to be. All soccer players must learn to pass as well as shoot with skill. Practice shooting and passing by yourself or with your friend. To get some solo practice in, use a wall as your passing partner. As the ball rebounds, gain control of the ball and try to shoot the ball at a certain area of the wall. When you are home alone and bored, practice your soccer skills. In order to become the best soccer player, you must practice as much as possible. At a structured practice you are required to do the drills your coach suggests, but they may not be the drills that you personally need to focus on. Training by your lonesome will enable you to focus on areas that will be of the most benefit to you. Learning the rules of soccer help you play a better game. soccer shoes review The library is a great place to find information about soccer. You can even look online to see videos and learn all the rules while getting great tips and tricks about the game. When tending a goal, try focusing on quick recovery following the other team scoring a goal. It's easy to get disappointed or shaken in your abilities, which will harm your confidence and break your focus. Many professional goalkeepers recommend controlled breathing to get back on track. Take deep breathes for 10 second intervals and you will be ready to go. Your team is counting on you! Learn hot to kick a placement shot. Since it requires more accuracy and less power, it is not used very often. However, accuracy is more effective than power sometimes, so the lack of power in this instance is OK. The vulnerable area of the goal is also important when it comes to this shot. If you're playing striker you need to understand the difference between being accurate and power. Power is important for big, long kicks. In order to kick with the most power, your toes must be pointed down. To gain accuracy, use the side of the foot for kicking. Improving your play is crucial for any athlete. Because you play on a team in soccer, you have to be a contributor to the team. Use the advice you've learned here to become a better individual player and help your team earn some wins.

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liamhaydn-blog · 4 years ago

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The Maradona of the 21st Century is not Lionel Messi

The most common and in fact only real comparison ever made between 2 great footballers of different eras is that of Diego Maradona and Lionel Messi. Both are diminutive left-footed Argentine number 10′s, blessed with the best dribbling ability the game has ever seen. With a strength and speed that belies their stature, combined with extraordinary close control, they beat defenders at a rate that noone has matched.

And in the early day’s of Messi, there were eerie similarities. 2005 saw Messi make his international debut against Hungary, the same opponent Maradona debuted against. In 2007 Messi scored against Getafe with a goal identical to Maradona’s ‘goal of the century’ and then a couple of months later he scored with his hand against Espanyol, going unpunished as Diego famously did with the ‘Hand of God’.

But since then, the differences between the two players careers have grew and grew. Messi has so far spent over 20 years at one football club, Maradona represented 6 across 7 different spells. Leo though only 33, has already scored well over twice as many career goals as Maradona, and has appeared in well over 200 more senior matches. Messi has scored over 30 goals for his club in 13 consecutive seasons, Maradona only scored over 20 goals twice in Europe. Messi has so far won 35 major honours in club football, to Diego’s 9. Maradona has lifted the World Cup whereas Messi has never won a senior international trophy and Messi has scored over twice as many goals for Argentina, with over 50 more caps so far.

Simply put, they have had very different careers and lived very different lifestyles. I feel greater similarities are to be found between Maradona and another 21st century footballer, who also wore the number 10 shirt for Barcelona, Ronaldinho.

Maradona and Ronaldinho both spent 10 seasons in Europe, played for 3 European Clubs, and spent 2 seasons at their first European club. They played by far the best and most consistent football of their career and reached their highest highs at their 2nd European club. Here both men won 5 major honours, including 2 league titles and a European trophy. Maradona played 52 more games for Napoli and scored 21 more goals than Ronaldinho for Barcelona, which makes it likely that if they’d played an identical amount of games, they’d have an almost identical goal tally.

Both won the World Cup with a 2-0 knockout stage win over Belgium, a 2-1 Quarter-Final win over England, and beat Germany in the final. Both also scored goals in the Quarter-Final which were the best remembered of the tournament and highly embarrassed the England goalkeeper.

Here are some stats which highlight some more similarities in their respective careers:

Club trophies won: Maradona 9, Ronaldinho 12. Number of Clubs: Maradona 6 (in 7 spells), Ronaldinho 8. International caps: Maradona 91, Ronaldinho 97. International goals: Maradona 34, Ronaldinho 33. Competitive Internationals: Maradona 46, Ronaldinho 52. Goals in Competitive internationals: Maradona 17, Ronaldinho 17. Total senior goals: Maradona 345, Ronaldinho 299. freekicks scored: Maradona 62, Ronaldinho 66.

As Players

Maradona was a classic Number 10, a creative playmaker operating from a free role either as an attacking midfielder or a 2nd striker. His game was renowned for his dribbling which due to his low centre of gravity, stocky physique, acceleration, quick feet, close control, agility and his ability to quickly change direction made him extremely difficult to stop. Despite a solid goal return, Maradona’s game was about more than just scoring goals and individual runs, his vision, passing and creativity made him a fantastic teamplayer also.

Ronaldinho also could operate as a Number 10, playing in a free central role as an attacking midfielder, though he could also be deployed on either wing to devastating effect. Ronaldinho was an extremely effective playmaker as like Maradona he possessed outstanding vision and creativty with great passing ability. He was also a world class dribbler with underrated pace and acceleration, aswell as athleticism, balance and ball control allowing him to take on opponents. He was one of the most effective ever 1 v 1 at beating players with his tricks, feints, stepovers, nutmegs, aswell as sheer unpredictability making him extremely challenging to handle. Ronaldinho was also known for his technical skills, flair, creativity and touch.

Maradona and Ronaldinho are the most skillful players to ever reach the top of the game. More so than anyone else who has become the number 1 player on the planet, they were freestyle footballers. Maradona was one of Ronaldinho’s idols as a kid, and it’s easy to see why. Only Ronaldinho himself could cast a similar spell over the ball, Diego seemed to be almost at one with it, manipulating it in any way he wanted.

Whether doing keepy-ups with his shoulders, head, heel or slices as naturally as other players do them with their feet, Maradona had an artists understanding with the ball. And not just footballs either, his feet could do whatever he wished with golf balls, rolled up socks, anything he could make resemble a football he juggled with.

Maradona and Ronaldinho were two players who you didn’t need to see in an-game situation to be entertained by. Just throw them a ball. This was evidenced with the well known video of Maradona warming up before a UEFA Cup Semi-Final against Bayern Munich set to ‘Life is Life’ by Opus. Preparing for the game as if he’s arrived too early for a kickabout and is waiting for his mates to show up, Diego plays with an unbelievable rhythm.

This sense of rhythm and fun didn’t leave Diego once the game had kicked off, with regular rabona’s and roulette’s (which became known as the Maradona turn due to the level he perfected it) elevating the entertainment for everyone in attendance.

This is where I think his game is more similar to Ronaldinho’s than that of Messi’s. Lionel though brilliant to watch is nowhere near as flashy, applying skills only when absolutely necessary. For Ronaldinho however, skills always felt necessary. No look passes, pannas, elasticos (known also by some as ‘the gaucho’ due to Ronaldinho’s mastery of the skill) were all regular features of Ronaldinho’s arsenal.

Like Maradona, Ronaldinho was always worth watching before a game had even kicked off. And in training he was capable of getting his teammates to stop dead in their tracks and just stand around watching him perform his skills. An example of Ronaldinho’s ridiculous skill level compared to everyone else, was when he and a number of other top professionals took on the ‘Blindfolded Keepie Uppie challenge’ where as the name suggests, you attempt to do kick ups whilst wearing a blindfold. Benzema managed 5, Lewandowski 7, Xavi 8 and Ronaldinho.. 44.

It’s maybe a strange thing to say about a player who some consider the greatest of all time, and most consider in the top 3 of all time, but Maradona could’ve done even more in football. What he was able to do was limited by injuries courtesy of the many dreadful fouls he endured, bouts of lacking motivation, a lifestyle that led to drug addiction, weight gains & crash diets, and 2 drugs bans that meant he scored just 15 league goals after his 30th Birthday.

And aswell, it shows how good Ronaldinho was that a career that saw him become the only player to win the World Cup, the Champions League, the Copa Libertadores and the Balon d’or (not to mention 2 La Liga’s and 2 FIFA World Player of The Year Awards) is seen by many as one that could and should have been better. A lack of dedication and discipline, combined with his hedonistic lifestyle off the pitch led to Ronaldinho’s physical decline coming alot sooner than it should have. That said I think it’s unfair to boil his whole career down to just his years at Barcelona (where he did for a while have the focus and dedication to become the best player in the world) and dismiss everything else. There was still plenty of very good performances afterwards for AC Milan, Flamengo and Atletico Mineiro, where he thrilled the supporters with his quality.

Maradona was in many ways an individualist, for example he had his own fitness coach and his own doctors, never using the doctors employed by his club side or national team, but he was also very much a team player. A technical leader, he was loved by his teammates because he took all the pressure, all the attention on his shoulders, freeing the team up to go out and play without burden. The best example of the deep respect Maradona’s teammates had for him was in a clip from the Napoli dressing room following their historic first Scudetto win in 1987, where the players all sing as though ultras rather than colleagues: “Oh mama, mama, mama, do you know why my heart is racing? I’ve seen Maradona! I’ve seen Maradona! and Mum I fell in love with him!”

In a different way, Ronaldinho was also an excellent team player. When Ronaldinho was at the peak of his powers, a 16-year old Argentine came to his attention. Here he saw a player he knew could be something special. Ronaldinho became a sort of big brother figure to Messi from that point on, helping him as much as possible. For an introverted young kid to have the best player in the World take such a care and interest in him, must have been a tremendous boost. There was no ego from Ronaldinho, no jealousy or attempt to keep the teenager ‘In his place’. When Messi was 17, Ronaldinho introduced him to Kobe Bryant as “someone who will be the best footballer of all time” and in an interview with Four Four Two magazine the current Balon d’Or holder claimed Messi was already better than him.

Beginning

Diego Armando Maradona was born October 30, 1960 in Buenos Aires, Argentina and was raised in the Villa Fiorito shantytown, on the outskirts of the capital city. His love of football came very early, when he was given a ball as his first toy at 3 years old, and slept hugging it all night. Growing up in a shack without water or electricity, when Maradona joined the Argentinos Juniors youth team at just 8 years old he and his parents soon realised that their only way out of this hardship was for Diego to make it as a footballer. He already played with an ability way beyond his years and small, skinny physique quickly beginning to garner attention.

As a ballboy for Argentinos Juniors 1st team games, he would go on to the pitch at half time and entertain the crowds with his skills and tricks, aswell as an extraordinary acceleration when dribbling the ball. On one occasion as the 10-year old Diego exited the field for the Argentinos-Boca Juniors game to re-commence, the fans chanted “Let him stay! Let him stay!”. As Maradona continued to seemingly get better with every match he played in the youth teams, Argentinos Juniors had already pinned all their hopes on him before he’d even joined the first team. They already recognised him as the only player they had who could raise serious funds in the future, and in the meantime would be able to improve the team. He was promoted to the first team aged 15.

Ronaldo de Assis Moreira was born March 21, 1980 in Porto Alegre, Brazil. He lived in a wooden house in the middle of a favela, until his brother Roberto 8 years his senior, was gifted a home in a more affluent area by Gremio in an effort to get him to stay with the club and reject the interest of Italian club Torino. Tragedy would soon strike for Roberto and his younger brother however, when Roberto returned to the house to celebrate his 18th birthday only to find his father drowned in the family swimming pool.

From a young age Roberto would train his younger brother in one-on-one football sessions, after noticing he too had a real talent for the game. Ronaldinho said of this time “Roberto forced me to juggle the ball as many as 500 times. He stood to watch me do it and would never go until I’d completed it. This took all the fun out of it for me, and at that age it made me very angry. I cried. I didn’t understand. But later I understood what he wanted.”

Roberto’s football career was going well, he had played for Brasil’s under 20′s team and won 3 consecutive state titles with Gremio, the future looked very bright, when more misfortune struck the family. Roberto suffered a serious injury and was let go by Gremio. He moved to FC Sion in Switzerland and with his older brother and father figure since the passing of his Dad now living far away, Ronaldo felt an increased urgency and responsibility to step up and make it as a footballer to help the family financially. He had learned alot from his big brother, who despite being prevented from fulfilling his potential due to injury was still able to etch out a career in football, with a journeyman career making appearances for many sides including Vasco De Gama, Fluimenese and Sporting Lisbon.

Ronaldo played Futsal and Beach Football aswell as 11-a-side football and all this honed his ball control and skills. Often the smallest and youngest player on each of the teams he played for he quickly was assigned the nickname ‘Ronaldinho’ meaning ‘little Ronaldo’ which has always stuck throughout his career despite him growing to over 6 feet tall. He was 13 when he received his first media attention after scoring all 23 goals in a 23-0 win for his side at Futsal (though he did later say “those kids were terrible!”). After starring at the Under 17 World Cup, Ronaldinho followed in his big brothers footsteps by signing for Gremio.

Maradona and Ronaldinho both had their youthful innocence cut short and were forced to see Football as more than fun but as a way out of their hardships at a very young age. As a mere child Maradona had all his families hopes pinned on him for a way out of extreme poverty and Ronaldinho experienced the hardships of life early too with the death of his father and career damaging injury to his brother. But despite all the external pressure and aswell the huge demand they put on themselves to succeed for their families, their pure love for football never wavered.

Starting Out

Maradona made his first-team debut for Argentinos 10 days before his 16th Birthday. A few minutes after entering the pitch, he nutmegged an opponent. A few weeks later he made his first start, with then vice-president Settimio Aloisio recalling “What really struck me was the joy there seemed to be in his playing. What seemed unique was that he didn’t seem to have any fear, he was so self-assured, so determined. It was the first time he played a full 90 minutes in the first-team and he did it with all the confidence of a player who had been playing top-class football for at least six years.”

In Diego’s first season for the club in 1976 they finished 2nd bottom of the Metropolitano Championship. In his final season they finished 2nd top. He scored 116 goals in 166 appearences, including a Messi-esque 69 in 71 in his last 2 seasons. Maradona was now too big and too good for the team, and it was time for Argentinos Juniors to get the big payday they hoped years of nurturing this talent would get them. Maradona joined the club he always dreamed of playing for, Boca Juniors for $4M.

Maradona scored 28 goals in 40 games for the club, including a memorable goal in his first Superclasico at La Bombanera stadium against River Plate. The 1981 season brought him his first trophy in senior football, when Boca secured the Metropolitano Championship, the clubs first title for 5 years, by a single point. They had finished 6th in the competition the year before Diego joined.

Ronaldinho made his debut for Gremio in 1998, and by his 2nd season the teenager was already showing himself as one of the top Brazilian players in the world. A real breakout moment for him came in the Campeonato Gaucho, the State Championship, usually won by one of Porto Alegre’s biggest sides, either Gremio or rivals Internacional. Gremio came out on top after a sublime performance from Ronaldinho where he tormented and terrorised Brazil’s World Cup winning captain Dunga, on one occasion flicking the ball over his head.

Ronaldinho scored 58 goals in 125 appearances for Gremio, 52 in 87 excluding his debut season and 28 in 37 in his last full season. This was enough to convince Paris St. Germain to spend 5 million Euros to bring him to the French Capital.

Maradona and Ronaldinho both began their professional careers for their local sides, neither club the most glamorous or prestigious of their country, but both rapidly stood out with their performances. Ronaldinho was transferred to Europe in half the time with his first 3 seasons in his native country as opposed to Maradona’s 6, highlighting the change in Football between the late 70s, early 80s and the late 90′s, early 00′s.

In 1978 Argentina had won the World Cup with just one player playing outside of Argentina, and coach Menotti had warned Maradona that Argentina fans would not accept him leaving to play his domestic football in Europe, he did not join a European club until his 7th season. By the time Ronaldinho was on the scene, Europe’s stranglehold over Football meant it was the only place to play for the game’s best talents. Maradona played 206 games in the country of his birth before joining FC Barcelona for a then world record fee of £5 Million pounds.

Europe

Maradona described his time at FC Barcelona as the ‘unhappiest period of my career’. He found German coach Udo Lattek’s hard early-morning training sessions unsuited to his lifestyle, and had a relationship with Barcelona’s then president Jose Luis Nunez which was hostile from the off. The free-spirit of Diego quickly found the atmosphere of Barcelona oppressive, he felt the cold, calculated stuffed shirts of the Barca boardroom looked down on him as a naive, uneducated outsider. Maradona was used to getting his way in Argentina, and was not a man who could easily accept authority over his life. Whilst Barcelona as an institution were not a club willing to bend for one man, no matter how talented he was with a football.

The early signs on the pitch however, were promising. The team received a standing ovation leaving the pitch away to Red Star Belgrade in the Cup Winners Cup, after a 4-2 victory with 2 goals each for Maradona and fellow foreign star signing Bernd Schuster. But the ego’s and personality clashes of Nunez, Maradona, Lattek and Schuster meant it was never likely to last. After Maradona had spent his first ever Christmas away from Argentina in a state of depression, and not long after he’d returned from a prolonged absence due to viral hepatitis, Lattek was sacked, which did not displease either of Barcelona’s star players, with Schuster referring to the manager as a ‘drunkard’.

Lattek was replaced by Cesar Menotti, Argentina’s World Cup winning manager who had managed Diego in the Under 20s and senior national side. It was hoped by the Barcelona hierarchy that this would be the man to bring the best out of Maradona.

The appointment of Menotti wasn’t the only thing bringing comforts of home to Maradona’s life. He did everything to recreate the life he’d known in Argentina, acquiring the friendship and services of Argentines living in Barcelona to provide him with Calabresi and sandwiches just like he’d known in Buenos Aires. But whenever Maradona and his clan would hit Las Ramblas, which was often, he had to accept he wasn’t in his beloved Argentina anymore. He was in a place with wealthy, educated people who looked down on him and his friends, fuelling Maradona’s inferiority complex which he battled all his life due to his poor upbringing.

It was also during this time in Barcelona that Maradona first began taking cocaine, and though he was able to keep this a secret from Barca, some reports of his activities including regular house parties into the early hours with prostitutes in attendance did make it back to an increasingly exasperated board. The Maradona-Nunez conflict continued to intensify, with Jorge Cyterszpiler, Maradona’s then agent responding to comments from Nunez in the press by phoning him and calling him a “son of a bitch”.

4 Days before the King’s Cup final between Barcelona and hated rivals Real Madrid, Nunez refused to allow Maradona to travel to Munich for a testimonial match, a lack of liberty which infuriated Maradona. The team were able to capture the trophy however, beating Real 2-1 with a 90th minute winner, in a game both Maradona and Schuster ran. It had been a turbulent debut season however to say the least, the team had finished 4th behind Athletic Bilbao, Spanish champions for the first time in 27 years, and the two Madrid clubs. They had also been dumped out of the Cup Winners Cup by Austrian minnows Memphis. Maradona scored 23 goals in 35 appearances but injuries and illness had limited him to just 20 league games and 11 goals.

Maradona’s second year was to be defined by yet another rivalry, this time that of coach Menotti and Athletic Bilbao manager Xavier Clemente. In a war of words due to differing football philosophies similar to that of Brian Clough and Don Revie in England, Menotti made public his disdain for what he considered (not without reason), the thuggish football of Bilbao saying “the day they decide to be a bullfighter rather than a bull on the pitch it will play better football.” Clemente responded saying he would take no lessons from an Argentine who spent more time pursuing women than teaching football skills. The stage was set for a series of violent matches to take place between the sides that season. With Barca leading Bilbao 2-0 at the Nou Camp early in the season, Goikoetxea, subsequently named ‘the Butcher of Bilbao’ delivered one of the most brutal fouls Spanish football had seen on Maradona. Menotti demanded Goikoetxea be banned for life, as it was he was hit with a 10-game ban instead. This came as little consolation for Maradona who had long complained about the harsh treatment he received from defenders in Spain due to little protection from referees. This tackle, feared possibly career threatening at the time, kept him sidelined for 3 months.

A few weeks after his return to fitness, Maradona lined up to face Bilbao again, this time at the San Mames stadium. Maradona led his team heroically through another brutal match, scoring both goals in a 2-1 win for his side in one of the dirtiest matches seen at the stadium. Maradona’s duels with Bilbao didn’t end here though, and they would reach a stunning conclusion in the 1984 King’s Cup final infront of 100,000 spectators and half of Spain’s watching public. After a 1-0 defeat featuring the usual Bilbao treatment whenever Diego went near the ball, and racist insults towards him regarding his Father’s native American Indian ancestry, he was given a ‘fuck off’ sign by unused Bilbao substitute Sola, and Maradona subsequently knocked him to the floor before kneeing him out cold. Chaos ensued with a mass brawl involving all the players, with flying kicks everywhere you looked. Maradona was at one stage knocked to the floor with a Bilbao player standing over him, when out of nowhere a teammate jumped in with a huge kick to the players back sending him flying. Maradona left the pitch with his Barcelona shirt torn, he would never wear one again. The brawl resulted in 60 people being injured as fans rained missiles down on players, coaches and photographers.

The board had seen enough, Maradona’s time with Barcelona was up. He scored 38 goals in 58 games for the club. There had been some highs, beating Real Madrid in the Kings Cup and the short lived Spanish League Cup final, where after scoring one of the all-time great El Clasico goals in the 1st leg at the Bernabeu he was given a standing ovation by the Real supporters. But there had also been just as many lows, and overall Maradona had failed to do what he was signed to do, establish Barcelona as Spain’s number 1 team again. A move was required for all parties, as Maradona’s spending and bad business moves made on his behalf had left him with so much debt only a huge signing-on fee would take care of it. This came in the shape of another world record fee, £6.9M to Italian Club Napoli. Both Maradona and Barcelona would benefit from the move, as under Terry Venables Barcelona won their first league title for 11 years by 10 points (in the days of 2 points for a win) and reached their first European Cup final the following year, losing on penalties to Steaua Bucharest. Ironically it took the departure of Maradona to get Barcelona to do what his arrival was supposed to do for them.

Ronaldinho chose long-time sleeping giants Paris Saint Germain when better teams were perhaps interested in signing him for one reason only, to ensure he would be a regular starter in order to convince Brazil manager Scolari that he should be the 3rd name in the attack alongside Ronaldo and Rivaldo. For the first few months, his plan seemed to have backfired spectacularly. After getting the all clear to play from Fifa, after a messy legal procedure between PSG and Gremio, he still struggled to get the all clear to start from manager Luis Fernandez, so was forced to watch players such as Gabriel Heinze, Mauricio Pochettino, Jay Jay Okocha and Nicolas Anelka from the bench for much of the time before being introduced into games in the second half more often than not.

This slow start was doubly concerning due to the form back home of Ricardo Kaka who was banging them in for Sao Paulo. At the half way stage, it looked likely it would be Kaka starting for Brazil and if Ronaldinho didn’t find some form, he would be a doubt to even make the plane.

Ronaldinho began to make an impact before the winter break, and after it his fortunes had an even greater upturn. Okocha went to the African Cup of Nations and Anelka was loaned to Liverpool. Ronaldinho was going to become the main man in the PSG attack, if he could seize his chance. He scored in the first 4 games back, including a brace against Guingamp.

By mid-march he was making it look easy, looking as though nothing was more simple to him than dribbling through a defence and beating the onrushing goalkeeper as he did not once but twice against Troyes.

Despite only starting half the league games, Ronaldinho finished the season confirming himself as PSG’s best and most important player, aswell as their top scorer with 13 goals and earning a place in the Ligue 1 team of the season.

Ronaldinho returned for his second season at PSG as a World Cup winner, however his upward trajectory at Paris which had begun in the second half of his first season would not continue without dips. Manager Luis Fernandez criticised Ronaldinho’s enthusiasm for Parisian nightlife, claiming he focused on it more than Football. Another source of frustration for him was a typical one for managers dealing with Brazilian players, the long trips back home Ronaldinho took during the season, which Fernandez bemoaned never ended when scheduled. Ronaldinho fired back at his manager’s criticism that “it seems to bother him that I am happy.”

The league campaign was a very disappointing one to say the least for PSG, finishing 7 places lower than in Ronaldinho’s first season, coming in 11th place. On a personal level, there was some satisfaction for Ronaldinho in winning the award for Ligue 1 goal of the season, with a brilliant solo goal against Guingamp. Accelerating suddenly before the first man has even had a chance to get close to him, he plays a one-two around another, then dinks the ball over a slide tackling defender, waits for the ball to drop then dribbles into the box, throws a stepover to make space for the shot then lifts the ball quite wonderfully over a helpless goalkeeper. Pure Ronaldinho magic.

Paris also reached the Coupe de France final after 2 goals from Ronaldinho in the semi-final got them there, however they were beaten by Auxerre in the final with a last minute winner. With a season outside of Europe on the horizon, it was time for Ronaldinho to move on to the next phase in his career. He scored 25 goals in 77 games for the Parisians.

Maradona & Ronaldinho moved to Europe aged 22 and 21 respectively, and both spent 2 seasons with their first European club. Both displayed the talent that made them at times unstoppable, but the flashes of genius were accompanied with a lack of consistency needed to go beyond the promise and potential they were showing to become as great as they undoubtedly could be. In this time, both players also discovered a love of a certain party lifestyle which would remain throughout their respective careers.

Peak

75,000 Napoli supporters packed into the Stadio San Paulo to see the official presentation of Diego Armando Maradona as a Napoli player. For all present that day, the Saviour had arrived. As one local newspaper put it “despite the lack of a mayor, houses, schools, buses, employment and sanitation, none of this matters because we have Maradona."

Maradona found himself feeling instantly more at home than he had ever felt at Barcelona. The poor background he came from aswell as having a Mother of Italian descent gave Maradona an immediate affinity with the city of Naples, in the poorer, economically disadvantaged South of Italy. He could also relate to the feeling of being looked down upon that Neapolitans felt from those in the more affluent and politically prioritised North.

During Maradona’s time in Italy, the North v South hatred was at its peak. The Maradona signing itself had political motivations. Upon hearing of Juventus’ interest in signing the Argentine, Napoli were determined to get one over on the more illustrious then-champions, who already boasted that summer’s standout player at Euro 84, Michel Platini. After his experience with Schuster, Maradona was reluctant to again share the limelight so was instead happy to join the side in the Southern region, a region that had never produced a Serie A winner. Napoli, a club formed in 1926 had to that point won just 2 major honours, both Coppa Italia’s.

Though the team he was joining had a modest history to date, the league he would playing in was by far the best and most competitive in the world. Though a defensive league with emphasis put on the ‘Cattenacio’ style of play, featuring tight man-to-man marking and a sweeper, Maradona could atleast rely on better protection from referees than he’d received in Spain.

Unlike in Barcelona, where the snobbery in high society left Maradona on the outside, Maradona found in Naples he was embraced wherever he found himself in Italy’s most densely populated metropolis, including alongside the Camorra, the Neapolitan Mafia, who had extraordinary influence in all matters in the city at this time. Carmine Guiliano, of the powerful Guiliano clan was only too eager to place himself alongside Naples’ new messiah. And Maradona for his part seemed to find himself more comfortable in this company, than he’d ever felt with the distant and alien Barcelona hierarchy.

Hellas Verona were champions for the only time in their history in Maradona’s debut season, with Napoli having to settle for 8th place. This improved to 3rd in the following year, though off the pitch Maradona had his first serious problems with long-time girlfriend Claudia.

Maradona’s 3rd season saw him hit the peak of his considerable powers. Fresh off the back of inspiring Argentina to the 1986 World Cup trophy, his encore was delivering Napoli to the promised land as they took their first ever Scudetto, with a league double over Juventus proving decisive. Winning Serie A sparked a week-long party in Naples, so often the butt of the North’s jokes, it was they who were laughing now. Maradona had put Napoli and the entire city of Naples on top of Italy, and in doing so his standing amongst the people could not have been any higher. In the eyes of the adoring Neapolitans he was more than a footballer, more than a man even.

Maradona and Napoli were unable to retain their crown, ending the season with 4 losses and 1 draw as they lost out to Milan by 3 points. This was the season problems between Maradona and Napoli president Corrado Ferlaino began to materialise. Napoli who had so far accepted his unwillingness to be controlled had grown frustrated at his missing of training sessions and the following season with Maradona injured or missing from training all the more regularly, Napoli ended further away from the Scudetto. Though still 2nd they finished 11 points behind Internazionale and were beaten in the Coppa Italia final. Things reached their lowest moment to date that season when Maradona took himself off just 17 minutes into a game due to injury, this was greeted with jeers and whistles from the supporters who had once revered him as their King. This infuriated Maradona, but there was redemption in the Uefa Cup which Napoli won beating Stuggart in the two-legged final, after dispatching Juventus and Bayern Munich to reach it.

But Maradona was beginning to feel trapped again. This feeling was exacerbated by him finding out about Olympique Marseille’s interest in signing him only after Ferlaino had rejected the offer. An increasingly frustrated Maradona began lashing out and making enemies in the media, who did not accept his outspoken complaints without backlash.

After a slow start to the 89-90 season, with the World Cup that summer looming ever closer, Maradona’s motivation soared again and he had his most prolific season for Napoli, scoring 16 in 28 league games as they finished 2 points above Milan to take the Scudetto for the 2nd time in 4 years. Maradona had responded to the adversity by climbing back to the top, it was the final time in his career he would sit there.

“Ronaldinho was responsible for the change in Barca. It was a bad time and the change that came about with his arrival was amazing. In the first year, he didn’t win anything but people fell in love with him. Then the trophies started coming and he made all those people happy. Barca should always be grateful for everything he did.” - Lionel Messi.

Though it would maybe be a stretch to compare the FC Barcelona that Ronaldinho joined in 2003 to Napoli, the fact is the club was not in a good place. Trophyless for 4 seasons, having gone through 6 different managerial reigns in that time, the club hadn’t finished above 4th for 3 years and the season prior to the Brazilian's arrival, Barca had their worst league position for 15 years, coming in 6th, as 3 different managers tried and failed to turn their fortunes around. Making matters even worse during this trophy drought, their bitter rivals Real Madrid had taken their star captain Luis Figo and just to rub it in had won 5 major honours including 2 Champions League titles. It was them enjoying the stability of one coach, with all this silverware coming under Vincente Del Bosque.

2003-04 brought Barcelona a new President Juan Laporta, a new manager in Frank Rijkaard and now it needed a new star player. Laporta earmarked 3 players of which he felt 1 was needed to bring Barcelona back to the top: Thierry Henry of Arsenal, David Beckham of Manchester United or Ronaldinho of PSG. Henry had unfinished business left at Arsenal, Florentino Perez made Beckham his latest and most glamorous Galactico to date, leaving Ronaldinho. And though Real Madrid passed up on him, with the words of a Real Madrid executive “He is so ugly that he’d sink you as a brand” reflecting Real Madrid’s new Business first, Football second approach which had led to the bizarre sacking of Vicente Del Bosque, the path to Ronaldinho was not completely clear for Barcelona. Premier League Champions Manchester United were very close to securing the 23-year old but in the end they couldn’t get it over the line and instead had to settle for a skinny 18-year old winger from Sporting Lisbon.

Ronaldinho started as he meant to go on in his very 1st league match at the Camp Nou. With Barca trailing to Sevilla, he received the ball on the left inside his own half and 8 seconds later he had the ball in the net. Arriving into the Sevilla half he cut inside past one then another and let fly from 30 yards, it was in as soon as it left his foot, cannoning in off the crossbar with the keeper beaten by unbelievable power and precision.

The Brazilian was unable to prevent the Catalans 5th season without silverware, but 03/04 was a big improvement on the previous year. After a bad start saw Barca in 12th place after 18 matches, the team put together a run of 17 league games without defeat featuring 14 wins, including away at the Bernabeu for the first time since 1997. Ronaldinho provided the game-winning assist in the 86th minute with an immaculate chip to Xavi who scored with a finish equal to the pass. In the end the team finished in 2nd place, behind Champions Valencia but above Real Madrid who had gone backwards under Carlos Quieroz, opening an opportunity for a new force in Spain.

04/05 saw the arrival of Samuel Eto’o from Real Mallorca who proved the ideal partner for Ronaldinho in attack. Barca became the Champions of Spain for the first time since 1999 but were stopped in the Champions League by Chelsea, who beat them 4-2 at Stamford Bridge despite a very memorable Ronaldinho goal.

"It's like someone pressed pause and for three seconds all the players stopped and I'm the only one that moves." — Ronaldinho

Ronaldinho scored 13 goals in his 2nd season, the same as Maradona managed in his 2nd season for Napoli, but 05/06 would see Barcelona’s star man go up another level and take the club with him. In 29 league games Ronaldinho scored 17 and assisted another 18, but to focus on numbers would be to downplay what the Brazilian was doing on a weekly basis at the time. He was making La Liga defenders look as out of their depth as amateurs would against him. How could they hope to stop him when he was using skills they had never even seen let alone come up against before? At this time Ronaldinho alone was worth the entrance fee, you knew he’d do something to bring a smile to the face of every single spectator, and maybe a shake of the head due to sheer disbelief at the audacity of the tricks Ronaldinho would not only attempt but pull off.

And this was not just reserved for the defenders of Espanyol or Real Zaragoza, Ronaldinho treated every match, every opponent the same, no matter the importance of the game, he was going to play it his way.

Never was this more apparent than when Barcelona travelled to the Bernabeu in November of 2005. It was in this month that Ronaldinho won the Balon D’or for the one and only time, winning above English midfielders Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard to add it to his FIFA World Player of the Year awards for 2004 and 2005. He shown why he was the number 1 player in the world in what was the first El Clasico for the future world’s best player, a young long-haired Argentine. But on this occasion it was the senior players, and one in particular who stole the show. With Eto’o giving the visitors an early lead, Ronaldinho doubled it just before the hour mark first skinning Sergio Ramos, before leaving Ivan Helguera and Iker Casillas flat footed and helpless to stop the genius in full flow.

However he wasn’t done yet. 20 minutes later, running past Sergio Ramos with an ease which was only matched in the finish, which left Iker Casillas shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders, perplexed and powerless. At this point, certain sections of the Madrid fanbase felt obliged to applaud Ronaldinho. And not just 1 or 2 either. As the Barcelona players celebrated with their maestro, many Madrid fans can be seen on their feet giving a standing ovation to the man who had single handedly demolished their team. They knew their Galacticos of Beckham, Raul, Zidane, Robinho and Ronaldo had been thoroughly outclassed by the player deemed too ugly to sign. There was nothing ugly about his performance that night, as he took Real apart with a beautiful simplicity, becoming the first Barcelona player to win applause from the Bernabeu since Diego Maradona.

The result was indicative of the gulf that had developed between Barca and Real, as Barca retained their title finishing 12 points clear of their rivals. And in the Champions League Barca were also able to enact revenge on Chelsea before meeting AC Milan in the semi-finals. Just a single goal was scored in 180 minutes, coming from a sumptuous Ronaldinho through ball and finished expertly by Ludovic Guily. The final saw FC Barcelona meet Arsenal, and despite an early red card for the Arsenal keeper, Barca trailed with 15 minutes to go but were able to turn the game around to win just their 2nd European Cup ever and first since 1992. In 45 games Ronaldinho scored 26 and assisted 24, he was the top provider in both La Liga and the Champions League.

After a hugely underwhelming World Cup, Ronaldinho was able to pick up right where he left off at Barcelona atleast, scoring 21 La Liga goals in 32 matches, the highlight being a special overhead kick against Villarreal. However Barca missed out on the title, due to their head to head record with Real Madrid. With both clubs finishing on 76 points, a 2-0 Real Madrid win in November decided the destination of the title and Barcelona’s far superior goal difference, with more scored and fewer conceded counted for nothing. This was tough to take, but Ronaldinho had racked up 50 goals and 38 assists in 2 seasons. And at 27, Barcelona’s number 10 appeared for all the world to have many years left at the top..

Coming Down

Following the 1990 World Cup which saw Maradona lose the final, the game after declaring Italian fans “hijo de putas” as the cameras panned on him for whistling out the Argentine national anthem in the Stadio San Paulo, supposedly his Kingdom, things would go from bad to worse on his return to the stadium for Napoli.

For now there was a drive in the police’s scrutiny into organised crime in Naples, and noone with connections to the Camorra was guaranteed immunity, including Diego Maradona. His time of everyone turning a blind eye to his off-field activities was up. It was the worst kept secret around that drug problems were beginning to affect his football, and media hints about the dark hole Maradona was falling down with the grip drugs had over him were appearing more and more frequently.

As police investigated the Camorra, listening into conversations, Maradona found himself being taped by police, requesting cocaine and prostitutes. This led to a police investigation into Maradona, meanwhile Napoli chose this time to abandon their lax random drug testing regime, and Maradona was randomly tested twice, both by Napoli doctors and outside doctors brought in by the club. Both tests returned positive. Diego returned to Argentina, but there was no escape to his problems. A police raid at a house he was staying at found him asleep next to grams of cocaine, he was arrested.

Maradona received a 15-month ban from football, having his final season with Napoli cut short after scoring just 6 goals in 18 league games and 10 in 26 in all competitions. His final goal for the club felt like a fitting one at the time, a consolation penalty in a 4-1 defeat away to Sampdoria. Napoli finished the season in 8th, where they finished in Diego’s 1st season with the club. The cycle had been completed and Maradona’s Neapolitan dream had turned into a nightmare.

In 07/08 Ronaldinho found himself afflicted with regular injuries for the first time in his career. It couldn’t be put down to bad luck. He had lost his motivation and had stopped looking after his body. His partying and lack of dedication to training saw him lose his peak physical condition. Barcelona’s best and most important player just the season prior, Ronaldinho found that even when he was fit a place in the starting 11 was now hard to secure with the continuing emergence of Lionel Messi and the signing of Thierry Henry.

Barcelona had a poor season, finishing 18 points behind Champions Real Madrid and 10 points behind 2nd placed Villarreal. It signalled the need for a change. Rijkaard was to be replaced in the summer by former Barca midfielder Pep Guardiola, and Juan Laporta declared Ronaldinho needed a new challenge to revive his career. Ronaldinho’s season ended prematurely with an injury, after 9 goals in 26 games, numbers almost identical to Maradona’s last season in Naples. Ronaldinho’s final goal also came in a away defeat where his side shipped 4, as they went down 4-2 to Atletico Madrid. Though the Brazilian’s goal was a touch more special, coming with a spectacular overhead kick.

Just a year on from seeming irreplaceable for Barcelona, Ronaldinho was now surplus to requirements. He joined AC Milan, after rejecting Manchester City who under their new Abu Dhabi owners had placed a bid of £25.5 million.

Maradona and Ronaldinho played by far the best and most consistent football of their career for their 2nd European club. Maradona scored 115 goals in 259 Napoli games, Ronaldinho 94 in 207 for Barcelona. Not including penalties Maradona scored 73 and Ronaldinho 75.

Country

Maradona made his Argentina debut in 1977 aged 16 though missed out on making the World Cup squad the following year which Argentina hosted and won. Diego had to make do with the 1979 World Youth Championships instead, where he netted 6 in 6 including 1 in the final in a 3-1 win over the Soviet Union.

Maradona’s first World Cup came in 1982, in the country he was then plying his trade. Expectations on Barcelona’s new signing were huge, but it didn’t go to plan. He scored in just 1 of the 5 matches he played, a brace against Hungary and was sent off against Brazil, as his frustrations at his repeatedly rough but unpunished treatment at the finals reached boiling point.

Maradona entered the 1986 World Cup with his head in a bad place. With an illegitimate child on the way, conceived from an affair, Maradona was grateful for something to occupy his focus and he played the tournament like a man with nothing on his mind other than to lead his team to glory. In the Quarter-Finals Argentina met England in the first match between the sides since the Falklands War.

The match came to epitomise Maradona’s legacy as he scored the 2 most famous goals ever within 4 minutes of each other. After England defender Steve Hodge could only lift the ball back in the direction of his own goal, the 5 foot 5 Maradona rose in the air to direct the ball over the outstretched fist of the 6 foot Peter Shilton. Just like the England keeper, Maradona went at the ball with his hand but in such a way both the referee and the linesman missed it. Diego later described the goal as being a “little with the head of Maradona and a little with the hand of God”. The goal subsequently became known as ‘the Hand of God’. If Maradona’s first goal demonstrated his win or die mentality, the second showed the pure artistry of the game’s most gifted genuis. Receiving the ball in his own half, Maradona dribbled past anyone in a white shirt before rounding Shilton and slotting home ‘the goal of the Century’. Maradona had secured his place as Argentina’s favourite son, restoring much needed national pride after the humiliation of the Falklands defeat.

3 days later Maradona single-handedly took Belgium apart, again scoring a brace including another spectacular solo goal. A world cup winning assist in the final against West Germany gave Maradona 5 goals and 5 assists in 7 matches, he played every minute for his side. In the best individual performances ever produced at the FIFA World Cup, Maradona scored or assisted 10 of Argentina’s 14 goals.

The 1990 tournament was the second time Diego played a World Cup in the country where he was playing his club football and he was counting on the support of the Naples people to help him and his team retain the trophy. All seemed to be well after Argentina bounced back from a shock 1-0 defeat to Cameroon by beating the Soviet Union in Naples infront of a supportive crowd, Maradona’s hand again playing a part as he handled on the line to prevent a certain Soviet goal and again got away with it. A 1-1 draw with Romania meant Argentina scraped through in 3rd place and met Group C winners Brazil in the round of 16. Maradona got revenge for 1982 as he produced his best moment of the tournament to brilliantly set up the only goal of the game for Cannigia.

After beating Yugoslavia in a shootout despite a miss from Maradona, Argentina met Italy in Naples. Maradona aimed to stoke tensions between the North and the South, encouraging Neapolitan’s to support the man who had brought their football club so much success and joy, instead of their National side with him saying “The Italians are asking Neapolitan’s to be Italian for a day, yet for the other 364 days in the year they forget all about Naples.” His attempt ultimately proved unsuccessful evidenced by the whistling out of the Argentina national anthem, but Maradona scored the decisive kick in the shootout to put his side into their second successive World Cup final. They would meet Germany again, but that’s where the similarities would end, as the 3-2 final of 4 years ago was replaced with a dour, bad tempered game which Germany won 1-0.

After returning from a 15-month suspension for drug use, Maradona was left out of the Argentina squad which won the 1993 Copa America, but during a humiliating 5-0 home defeat to Colombia in a World Cup Qualifier, the fans began to chant for Maradona, their cries getting louder as one goal after another hit the back of their net. The saviour answered their calls, captaining the side as they narrowly squeezed past Australia in the qualification play-off.

In the months approaching the World Cup, Maradona was more motivated than he’d been for years. Training harder than ever at a remote farm free of all distractions, he had a dramatic weight loss, transformed from the bloated out of shape Diego the world had become familiar with. Intense training, a drastic diet, vitamins, minerals, weight reduction drugs and short-term energy providing drugs were responsible for Maradona dropping almost 3 and 1/2 stone.

Diego’s lack of confidence in conventional medicine meant he relied on his own personal doctors to get him in the best condition possible for USA 94, these being Fernando Signorini and bodybuilder Daniel Cerini. Signorini had serious concerns about Cerini due to the use of anabolic steroids by his girlfriend in a bodybuilding contest which led to a positive drugs test in 1989, but nobody in Team Maradona ever dared speak out against another member of the team, if that person had Maradona’s trust.

And just like Maradona had complete faith in his team, the Nation of Argentina aswell as his own teammates had complete faith in him to power them to a successful World Cup. And their faith seemed well placed after the opening game which saw Argentina take Greece apart 4-0 with a Batistuta hattrick. Maradona made it 3-0 on the hour mark, after a passage of teamplay which highlighted the extent to which the team was playing on the same wavelength. Maradona’s celebration was his most famous ever, as he ran straight at the camera, wide eyed with passion running through him.

At half-time during Argentina’s 2nd match, a 2-1 win over Nigeria, Maradona was one of two players on each side drawn for a random drugs test. At full time Maradona left the field hand in hand with a nurse, riding a wave of positive emotion after back to back World Cup wins. He was about to come crashing down.

Maradona tested positive. An over the counter, weight reducing drug containing a FIFA banned performance enhancing supplement provided to him by Daniel Cerini was responsible. The relationship and lack of trust between Cerini and Argentina team doctors was so bad that neither was kept up to date with what the other was giving to him, so Argentina were left unaware of the drugs Maradona was taking. Though given the controversy surrounding Cerini they could’ve taken a guess, but noone would dare challenge a Maradona man, all that mattered to anyone was that he was on the pitch. Well after this he wouldn’t be as he received his 2nd 15-month ban in 4 years.

FIFA found Diego not guilty of consciously taking performance enhancing drugs, and believed he was unaware of its components. But regardless he was hit with a ban for breaching Fifa doping regulations. Here Maradona’s history as a drug user went against him. At the Mexico 86 World Cup a Spain player was found to have PED’s in their system, but he escaped punishment with only his doctor being banned. There was no such luck for Maradona who never wore the shirt of his beloved Argentina again. Argentina’s World Cup too effectively ended there as without their talisman they lost to Bulgaria and Romania who knocked them out.

Like Maradona, Ronaldinho also garnered some attention for his performances in a FIFA World Youth Championships, the U’17s version which took place in Egypt in 1997 with Brazil romping to the title scoring 21 goals for the loss of just 2.

1999 was a very busy year for Ronaldinho on the international scene, first he appeared in the U’20 World Championships, before receiving his first cap for the senior team in a 3-0 win against Latvia. Ronaldinho was 19 at the time and in just his 2nd season as a pro, this became even more impressive when he was selected for the 1999 Copa America and scored his first goal for the Selecao at the tournament. It was the other 2 R’s: Ronaldo and Rivaldo who were the stars of the show though, as they helped themselves to 5 goals apiece, as Brazil won the trophy. It was the following week at the Confederations Cup where the teenager truly broke out on the International scene, as he scored in every game bar the final, winning the award for best player and top scorer with 6, including a semi-final hattrick against Saudi Arabia. Brazil went down 4-3 in the final though to hosts Mexico.

The following year Ronaldinho was part of the U’23 squad that competed at the Summer Olympics in Sydney. He was in fine form heading into the tournament, scoring 9 goals in 7 pre-tournament games but the Olympics itself was a disappointment with Brazil exiting at the Quarter-Final stage.

At the 2002 Japan/Korea World Cup Ronaldinho scored 2 and assisted 3 as his country won their 5th title. The victory held many parallels with Maradona’s triumph with Argentina in 1986. Like then, Brazil became champions 8 years after their previous win. And like Maradona, Ronaldinho met and beat England 2-1 in the Quarter-Finals. With England leading 1-0 and the first half drawing to a close Ronaldinho received the ball just inside his own half and took off dribbling, running straight at the heart of the English defence. After beating Ashley Cole with a stepover and a turn of acceleration he kept his cool to slip a perfectly weighted pass to Rivaldo who didn’t disappoint.

Just as Maradona did in the ‘Hand of God’ game, Ronaldinho made his 2nd key contribution to the final outcome just a few game minutes after his 1st. 5 minutes into the second half, Ronaldinho stood over a free kick 40 yards out. With keeper David Seaman off his line anticipating a ball into the box, the ball instead flew over his head and landed just under the crossbar and inside the post. The goal was considered a freak, a stroke of good luck for Ronaldinho with him mishitting an attempted cross. And many people still hold that opinion to do this day, but I do not. The ball is so far away from any Brazilian player, I can’t see how a player as talented as Ronaldinho could misdirect a ball so bad as to completely miss out everyone on his team. Seaman was stood in a bad position, too far off his line for a keeper of short stature and Ronaldinho saw an opportunity to go for goal and executed it perfectly. This goal being dismissed as an accident I think is of great disservice to the Brazilian. But regardless just like the Hand of God goal Maradona scored, Ronaldinho also caused an England keeper to feel great embarrassment.

A red card shown to Ronaldinho prevented it from being a perfect afternoon for him as it forced him to miss the Semi-Final. Both Maradona and Ronaldinho’s sole World Cup victories also featured a 2-0 win over Belgium and victory in the final against Germany.

Ronaldinho’s next tournament was the 2005 Confederations Cup which he also won, receiving man of the match for his performance in a 4-1 final win against Argentina in which he also scored. Hopes were high heading into the 2006 World Cup that Brazil could retain the trophy. But the 3 R’s of Rivaldo, Ronaldinho and Ronaldo which worked to devastating effect in Japan and Korea, was replaced by a top heavy attack of Kaka, Ronaldinho, Adriano and Ronaldo. All these stars together didn’t gel as Ronaldinho turned out the worst performances of his stellar international career and Brazil were eliminated in the Quarter-Finals.

Two years later at the Beijing Olympics Ronaldinho was selected as one of Brazil’s overage players as they took the Bronze medal, but he was cut from a Dunga’s initial 30-man squad for the 2010 World Cup, where Brazil were unable to improve upon a Quarter-Final exit. Ronaldinho was captain for a 2013 friendly against Chile, but was not called up for the Confederations Cup that year that Brazil won or the 2014 World Cup they hosted.

Maradona won 91 caps for his national side scoring 34 goals and Ronaldinho won 97 caps, including atleast one a year for 14 years and scored 33 goals. Both men scored 7 in their most prolific years for their country.

Reaching the End

After serving his first 15-month ban Maradona joined his former Argentina manager Carlos Bilardo at Sevilla. Overweight and undisciplined Maradona rarely performs and doesn’t endear himself any further to his employers by spending many nights in a local brothel with his teammates. His lack of fitness and absence from training leads Bilardo to feel unable to trust him to finish a game and he substitutes him. Maradona calls him a “son of a bitch” as he leaves the field. In the dressing room, the two come to blows with Diego later saying “we punched the shit out of each other.” The game would be his last in a Sevilla shirt.

Maradona is then offered a reprieve at Newell’s Old Boys but seems unable to motivate himself. The energy boosting drugs he’s taking at the time mean that after an initial burst of energy he fades badly in games. His stay is shortlived.

Whilst serving a second drugs ban, Maradona tries his hand at management with Deportivo Mandiyu, but they are relegated in a match where Diego is seen on camera calling the referee “a thief, a liar and a gutless coward without balls.” When the ban is over Maradona returns for a second spell with his beloved Boca Juniors where the curtain comes down on his career on his 37th birthday after 31 games spread across 3 seasons.

Ronaldinho scored his 1st goal for Milan in a 1-0 derby win over Internazionale. However after a good start, he struggled with fitness and often started games from the bench. A lack of dedication in training and late night partying led departing manager Carlo Ancelotti to declare “The decline of Ronaldinho hasn't surprised me. His physical condition has always been very precarious. His talent though has never been in question."

Ronaldinho did much better in his 2nd season under Leonardo, a fellow Brazilian who was more lenient towards his nighttime activities. Ronaldinho scored 12 and assisted 14, more than anyone else in that season’s Serie A. Likely Milan’s best player that season, he scored 2 braces against Juventus, home and away, and a hattrick against Sienna. However the following season, the arrivals of Robinho and Zlatan Ibrahimovic, plus the stricter coach Massimiliano Allegri saw Ronaldinho’s time in Milan come to an end. Referring to a night Ronaldinho was spotted out in the early hours a couple of days before a Milan Derby, Allegri said in a press conference that “it was not an hour for an athlete to be awake.” That quote applied to many nights during Ronaldinho’s stay in Italy, one night at a Music festival he was implored by Milan fans to go home in order to be ready for training tomorrow, the Brazilian just laughed and told them not to worry. He was determined to enjoy himself and didn’t care who saw him.

This would change when he returned home to Brazil and joined Flamengo, with the club setting up a telephone hotline if they spotted the new club captain enjoying a night out, such were there frequency. 20,000 Flamengo supporters were present for Ronaldinho’s unveiling and although there was some good moments such as when he hit a hattrick during a 5-4 win against Santos in a game they’d trailed 3-0 in, he in the end cancelled his contract and sued Flamengo over lack of payment.

Ronaldinho then joined Atletico Mineiro and won the Bola de Ouro (league’s best player) award in his 1st season. In his 2nd season he won the Copa Libertadores, the first in Mineiro’s history, with Ronaldinho contributing 4 goals and 7 assists to the success. Mineiro lost the first leg of both the semi and the final 2-0 but won both ties on penalties. Ronaldinho was awarded the 2013 South American Footballer of the Year. At the FIFA World Club Cup, following a semi-final match Ronaldinho was mobbed by the players of Raja Casablanca, as they stripped him for souvenirs as a memento from sharing a pitch with their idol.

Ronaldinho then moved to Mexico side Queretaro where the highlight came in an away fixture to Club America where he scored twice in a 4-0 win and received a standing ovation from the home fans. Things were not as positive at his next and final club Fluimenese, where he appeared just 9 times before deciding to quit the club, no longer happy with his level. Maradona scored 311 goals in 589 games in club football and Ronaldinho 266 in 699. Both players will be fondly remembered by everyone who saw them on a football pitch, for their contribution to the beautiful game.

Sources: Hand of God The Life of Diego Maradona by Jimmy Burns, The making of Ronaldinho- how the Brazilian superstar broke through at PSG (FourFourTwo Magazine), Remembering Ronaldinho’s excessive Milan Nights (Bleacher Report)

#maradona #diegomaradona #maradona10 #ronaldinho #fcbarcelona #barca #napoli #football #soccer

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kingfallshistoricallibrary-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Episode 11: Ringing Hell’s Doorbell

Sammy:

Welcome back, everyone. The time is 4:44 AM here at King Falls AM. Ben:

It’s a slow night. You wanna do…weather and traffic? Sammy:

It’s warmin up…If there’s traffic at this ungodly hour, we got problems Ben:

[chuckles]Got that right, Sammy. But before we go back to the phones in a sec, I’ve got an email I’d like to read you. I think you’ll get a kick out of this. Sammy:

Oh! Well, very cool. Whatcha got? Ben:

So, you know I wrote the producers of Mission Apparition, right? Sammy:

No… what’re you talking about? Ben:

Yes you do. It’s that brain tumor of a show on channel 13? Sammy:

I know the show, Ben! I’m saying I didn’t know you wrote them. Ben:

Dude, you’re gonna love it. I emailed trying to get them booked as guests so we could tear them apart. Sammy:

Well, I mean, they did keep the lights on a few weeks back running an ad, of course. So, please don’t tell me you got confrontational? Ben:

If telling the truth about their staged show counts as confrontational, then…I totally did. Sammy:

Okay, so you accost a paid sponsor of King Falls AM, continue…

Ben:

Alright, let me read this to you. “Dear Sammy,” sorry you left your station email up. Sammy:

Uh-huh. Ben:

“We at Mission Apparition are extremely sorry you feel the show is overly produced and not true to the nature of actual distressed spirits. In actuality, Dan and Larry are two of the most highly trained professionals in this field. While we appreciate constructive criticism, name calling just isn’t needed. If you have any real suggestions to make the show better, please let us know.” Sammy:

Ben. What did you call them? Ben:

Doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I wrote them back and they’re going to be shooting a future episode of the show in King Falls. Sammy:

No way! Ben:

I said we have many fine spectral establishments here. The gauntlet was thrown down and they took the bait. Sammy:

As much as I hate to say this, you’re gonna get to see the Mission Apparition guys in a real situation at least. Ben:

Oh yeah. I’m not sure which to offer up: the old Slaughterhouse off Cottontail Hollow or the library. Sammy:

I’m not gonna make a you’re trying to impress Emily comment here, I know that place is full of activity. Ben:

Exactly.

Sammy:

BUT…. You are trying to impress Emily. Ben:

Whatevs. Okay, okay, get this though! After I told them I was co-host of a late-night AM talk show, they asked if I wanted to come on set so I could get an interview live. Sammy:

Well, book it! Make it happen! Ben:

Done and done. Sammy:

But please stop using my email. Ben:

No promises. Sammy:

Alright folks, after that exciting announcement, we’re gonna open up the phone lines to you, our dear listeners. And, uh, Ben? You got a topic? Ben:

I absolutely do, but you can’t have it until a touch after the 5 o’clock hour, Sammy. Sammy:

You heard the man, ladies and gents. It’s a bonafide free for all for the next ten minutes or so. Give us a call 424-279-3858. Ben:

Or hit us up on twitter @kingfallsam Sammy:

Lucky Line 1, you’re live with Sammy and Ben. Mr.X:

Uh, yeah… [heavy breathing] Did you check the mail? Sammy:

Maybe once or twice in my lifetime, uh, do you have a topic? Or is this Ted Kaczynski calling from prison? Mr.X:

Uh….you’ll have a topic soon…[hangs up] Ben:

You know I should go take a look in our mail slot now, right? Sammy:

Don’t Ben:

It’s a verbal triple dog dare. I’ll be right back. Sammy:

[sigh] One day, it’s gonna be a head… I just know it. Line 5 welcome to King Falls AM. Mr.Thompson:

Oh, I got through! Sammy?! I – I need to speak with you in private. Please! Sammy:

I’m gonna be a little bit sir. We just came back from break. But I’m happy to talk about whatever. Mr.Thompson:

We really can’t talk about this on the air. It’s about…I really don’t wanna say much. I sent you a text message about…oh…a month or so back? We need to speak. It’s incredibly urgent! Mr.Thompson:

Sir I get a lot of texts over the course of a month. Mr.Thompson:

Well, we can’t talk about this on the air. Sammy:

Who am I speaking with? Ben:

We got mail, Sammy! Mr.Thompson:

I turned the power back on…

Ben:

Mr. Thompson? Mr. Thompson:

Err.. no! [hangs up] Sammy:

Hello? Sir? Ben:

What was that about? I swear that dude sounded just like my old science professor. Sammy:

Can you get a number on line 5, Ben? Ben:

Uh, yeah, yeah, in a minute. Look at this! Sammy:

[laughs] Is that a cassette tape? Ben:

Yeah, no letter - just a tape. It’s labeled “D.D.” We should play this. Sammy:

I hope it’s Duran Duran. Ben:

I’ll just stick this in…here. Sammy:

Uh, do you think we should listen to this first? I know you got a trigger finger on the gun, but… Ben:

You’re looking at the fastest finger in the tri-state. Sammy:

You know, there’s a dirty joke there that, for our friendship, I’m just gonna cruise right on past. Ben:

Where’s the play button on this hunk of junk? Merv, why do we have a cassette player in the studio? It’s 2015. Sammy:

I think you know why. Ben:

I’m excited! Sammy:

You better be payin attention. I don’t want to hear one – Lance:

[Australian accent]This is Lance McCord checking in. I’m about 5 kilometers off the Stealth Ridge Trail now. It’s heavily wooded and getting thicker. Sammy:

Do you know this guy “Lance”? Ben:

Never heard of him. But if the “R” word was politically correct for broadcast, I’d probably be use it for him right now. That trail is like the boonies within the boonies. Lance: So far so good. I was- I was a bit worried with all the tall tales surrounding the ‘Devil’s Doorstep’ I guess that’s why I’m talking to you and tracing my steps. Nothing stranger or out of the ordinary. I have noticed the lack of wildlife and birds to be this far in the bush. Ben:

[stops tape] … There is no way. Sammy:

The Devil’s Doorstep? Ben:

Definitely the R word or has a death wish. Or both! Sammy:

Where is this place? Ben:

It’s north of King Falls. It’s a dark ass set of woods. Obviously, this guy isn’t from around here because he’d know you don’t even talk about it, much less go there.

Sammy:

Ominous… Ben:

AND we don’t joke about it. Sammy:

It sounds so inviting, The Devil’s Doorstep. What kind of Welcome mat do you think the Dark Lord picks out? Do you think he has a “NO SOLICITING” sign? Ben:

Stop it. I know you laugh about stuff like this, but…don’t. Lance:

Right, about 30 minutes from my last check in. My mobile has lost signal. Looks like it’s just you and me, pal. I lost a little of time I’ve been turned around a few minutes back. All the paths are starting to look really similar, so, it’s hard to…Still no wildlife. I don’t know if any men or women have ever stepped where I’m stepping. I kind of like that.

[singing in background] Sammy:

Did you hear something there? Ben:

NOPE. NO SINGING. Sammy:

I didn’t say singing. I said something. Ben:

I didn’t hear anything. Lance:

It’s getting colder our and darker. That and my mind is playing the tiniest of tricks on me. Voices, singing, whispers. It’s – it’s head games. Nothing’s gonna stop me from making it to the gate. Ben:

I think that’s enough.

Sammy:

Ben, honestly. Gate? I’m not following here. You’re the expert: what’s he looking for? Or… why’s he even looking for it? Ben:

Commercial time. Let’s do this… [ad]

Hector:

Weekdays 6 to 9 AM listen to the Hector y Chavo show, the fast growing show in the fastest growing demographic in the tri-state area. On King Falls Deportes AM. Every week, Hector y Chavo discusses your favourite sports with your favourite players. Don’t miss out this week, Monday we talk to Big Pine striker Javier Rincon. Tuesday, we are talking to Grassy Creek midfielder Jorge Papi Gutierrez and Friday, we talk to King Falls goalie Bubba Super Gringo Wallace. Tune in to Hector y Chavo show on Kings Falls Deportes at 7:30 am. Your sports capital for gooooooooal.

Ben:

He friggin hears it too

Sammy:

And welcome back to King Falls AM that’s 660 on the radio dial. We’ve just been listening to a tape we received anonymously. Apparently, there’s a hiker out adventuring in – Ben:

Line 8 – you’re live. Finn:

Oh boy! Things are getting tense on that tape! Ben:

Forget the tape! How- how’re you doing, Finn? Is everything still intact? Finn:

Doin’ swell, just well! [scratches skin] Ben:

You okay there, Finn? Finn:

Oh sorry! Wasn’t sure if you picked that up. I’ve just been scratchin something awful the past couple weeks. I got in some poison oak, or something – I don’t know! Sammy:

Glad to hear you’re doing well, after… Finn: [growls] Ben:

…. You got a travel buddy with you tonight, Finn? Finn:

Nah, nah – just got cut off going down the highway, here. Lousy drivers…we got three other lane you know! Ah! Look at the food billboards!

Sammy:

Um, what’s on your mind tonight buddy? Finn:

Just callin in to say hi… that sorta thing. Plus, this story? Wowee, who is this guy? Have you talked about this place before? I don’t think I heard you mention it. Uh, I think… Ben:

Because we don’t. Finn:

Spoooooky stuff, fellas. Sammy:

Yeah… I don’t know if you – Finn:

[howls] Ben:

Uh, I’m sorry. You gotta keep your pup quiet. Finn:

What? No doggy here. Just you two fellas, me… rolling down the road. Sammy:

You don’t have a dog with you, Finn? Finn:

Couldn’t if I wanted to. I’m allergic. [scratching] Ben:

Are… are you feeling okay? Did you ever get checked out after that night you hit that…weredog? Finn:

What? I wouldn't lay hands on a pooch! Are you feelin’ alright, Ben? Sammy:

He’s talkin about the dog you accidentally hit a while back. You got out to check on it and the call dropped off?

Finn:

Uh…. No, wasn’t me. I think I’d remember somethin’ like that [horns honking in background] Dammit all, I gotta go, boys. Can’t scratch, talk, and drive all at the same time. Finish that tape, it’s givin me the willies! Ben:

Stay awake and stay safe, Finn. Make a doctor’s appointment, maybe…. Sammy:

Or a vet… Finn:

hah, you two. Catch you later. [howls] [hangs up]

Sammy:

Now Ben, you know I love what you do on the show. I wouldn’t wanna do this with anybody else….but, I’ve got a tiny issue with you cutting to unscheduled breaks during conversations. Ben:

Do that happen? I’m so sorry, I just… I’m so interested in – Sammy:

Doing anything but playing that tape. Got us all interested now, man. You gotta follow through. Ben:

Okay – it was fun, but I think we should just forget about it. Sammy:

Impossible. Ben:

S-sit down, don’t – Lance:

There’s no doubt that there’s something keeping me away from the gate at this point. My watch has just stopped working so I don’t know what time it is. I can’t really see the sun from the thicket, it’s hard to tell. I checked my compass to ensure I was… WHAT THE -[singing] Eerie voice:

TURN. BACK. NOW.

Lance:

My fu[sensor] compass is literally spinning like a top! There’s EVIL in these woods! You can feel it in the air! It’s palpable! Sammy:

Ben! Don’t be mad! Ben:

You shouldn’t be playing this! This isn’t a joke, man! This is a tape that probably needs to go to the proper authority! I’m gonna google Missing Persons Sammy:

Look, I’m not against that. But let’s finish this up, and at the very least talk to me. Tell us a little bit about the woods. Ben:

If- if I tell you, will you stop playing the damn tape? Sammy:

Absolutely. Help fill these last minutes until your actual topic of discussion arrives. Ben:

[sighs]The path Lance is on is called Stealth Ridge. It’s about a five mile round trip hike up north in Perdition Wood. Sammy:

You guys really know how to name things here. Ben:

Supposedly, as in, legend-has-it kind of talk, way off the beaten path – I mean way off, as in nobody’s ever seen it – is what he’s looking for. A cave called The Devil’s Doorstep

Sammy:

Uh-huh. Ben:

Put two and two together here, Sammy! It’s an entrance to the gates of hell! Many people went out looking for it, none have ever found it. Some never return.

Sammy:

Have you been up there, Ben? Ben:

Once… Sammy:

And?! Ben:

Are you serious?! Hell no, I haven’t been! I’m not crazy like Crocodile Dundee on that tape. Sammy:

I mean, he’s gotta be okay, right? The tape made it here! It could’ve been him who dropped it off in our mail and called tonight, right? Ben:

This was fun for a minute, now it’s just massively creepy, let’s move – [tape starts] SAMMY! Sammy:

Dude, you’re looking at me! I didn’t push the button! Lance:

It is so cold. I’ve descended a great deal from the initial crest of the ridge it seems. I saw what appeared to be – Eerie Voice:

LAST. WARNING. MORTAL Ben:

TURN IT OFF! Lance:

WHAT THE FU[sensor] IS THAT?!

Sammy: Good Job!

Ben:

Alright it won’t stop. Unplug it! I’m not kidding! Sammy:

It is unplugged! [scream from tape] Lance:

It’s after me! [singing in background] I – I don’t know what that was. I went in to look at this cove, here. I think I’m just gonna wait it out until morning. I’m wet, cold – I caught my jacket in the bush. I’m bleeding, Jesus. My- my phone is missing. God dammit. It really is just you and – Eerie Voice:

ME!!!!! Lance:

No! Help me!! [screaming] [singing]

[outro]

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