#stress and numbness so. it's like something unlocked inside

[the-lark-ascending69]

I failed this exam so badly. I need to feel like a real student again.

[jasyred]

There are few things in life that will never change, no matter how hard we try.

For example me waking up to muffled screams and yells and abuses at five in the morning. I groan, pulling my blanket over my head, hoping it'll drown out the unwanted sounds. I turn to other side, pressing my good ear against the pillow, letting the silence of my other ear offer me a small, bitter comfort. It's times like these I'm almost glad for being partially deaf.

I train my brain to go back to sleep, try to stop it from turning those bitter gibberish thrown from other room into something that makes sense, because I do not want to hear it.

I fail. Miserably.

I suck in a sharp breath, unlocking my phone, my thumb wondering on it's own what to do. It takes every cell in my body to not exhaust myself just in the morning yet, and I close my phone.

Golden afternoon, a busy road, blaring horns and loud people. Noise. So much noise.

I clutch on the strap of my backpack, adjusting it on my shoulders. The items in the bag poke my back through it, and I realise it's really stuffy, the items poking through all directions.

Just like my chest. Uncomfortably stuffy, something poking at me from inside, threatening to tear at the flesh and bleed out.

I take a deep breath, eyes trained on the road.

Maybe it was a one time situation, a false alarm? Because of stress?

My mind feels back to the conversation with my gynaecologist.

Stress.

The multiple silver strands of hair in my head spoke volumes. I should be alarmed. I'm only twenty one.

My eyes dart around everything in sight, trying to bring myself out of my head. I don't want to be in my head. Don't want the train of thoughts to wander where I don't want them to. To open the boxes i closed off tightly. To crash into them altogether.

I smoothen out my black jacket, looking around. My boots feel heavier, pulling my feet against the earth more than gravity. Is that why my thighs hurt?

My eyes dart around everything in sight, and I try to force my mind not to look for meanings. Meaning behind the way someone is talking. The bright red color. The awfully bright green gooseberry. That person walking by. The person eating in a corner.

A subtle realisation dawns on me and I force it away, closing my eyes. I breathe out.

I had made a promise to someone. That I'd make sure their life has an happy ending. I made that promise my purpose to live. To hold on.

But they crossed the bridge sooner than I could make sure of it.

I wince physically.

My mind was looking for a purpose. Forcefully looking for a meaning to this life. Forcefully looking for something to hold on to.

I continue walking, my arms crossed against my chest like some sort of barrier. I wonder what kind of look I had on my face right now. Was it neutral? Was it my resting sad face? Was I smiling?

Can't tell.

The more I try to stay present in the moment, the more something from inside clawed on me. Bitter red dripping slowly from the cracks.

The more I looked at people, the more my jaw clenched. What the fuck are they so nonchalant about? How are you living so blissfully while being oblivious? Why the fuck are you smiling at me? What the hell is there to be happy about—

I sigh. Stopping in my tracks.

You're being a bad person again. My conscience gnaws at me.

I clutch onto my stomach.

You're being a bad admin.

To hell with your numb.

I squeeze my eyes shut, running a hand over my face. Then proceed to walk through an alley.

I don't know how many "I didn't mean to. I don't want to" are left in me. How many explanations in my defence are left.

Grief has a way of making every emotion go haywire. Messing up the brain. Especially when you're trying to keep everything at bay.

I don't think I'll be explaining myself anymore.

My chest tightens and I stop in my tracks, breathing harshly. There was a little pendulum going back and forth between two glass containers inside me. Containers that had multiple cracks in them. I like to call them grief and suppressed rage. They were shattered and were barely held together with a single breath of mine. This single breath was also holding onto the force of the pendulum. Keeping it steady.

I stand still. Very still.

Don't go. Because if you do, I'll fall apart. I'll shatter completely.

Something cracks in me again and I suck in a sharp breath. I'm trying my very best. Absolute best to keep the broken pieces together. To not have them burst in million direction, in so many fine particles that it becomes impossible, for anyone, including myself to put it back together.

I can't afford to let loose right now. Not right now. Not right now—

My phone buzzes with a text.

An unknown number.

My eyes zero in the profile.

A fucking unwanted number.

a goddamn ex.

A clear indication that some bastard very casually gave away my number breaching my privacy.

My jaw clenches and I try to cool myself, twisting the ring on my finger, my thumb brushing against the pointed bump on the front of the ring, bringing it out in the open. Everything in my sight was testing my patience.

I look at screen with messages popping up. I press the block button.

Humans are fucking lucky I'm just a weak, painfully patient person who hates the idea of getting blood on my hands and can't tolerate it anywhere near me.

[miscellaneoussmp]

I don't have anything particularly funny or insightful to say this time around. Anyways, here's Cellbit having a thoroughly average day (cw/tw: minor derealization):

The day starts with the worst part of it, the alarm clock going off. Cellbit groans and rolls over in his husband's hold to turn it off. Roier mumbles something incomprehensible as Cellbit sits up with a yawn. He presses a kiss to Roier's cheek before actually getting out of bed. He rubs his eyes, trying to get rid of the odd feeling clinging to him. Maybe he's coming down with something.

After walking downstairs, Cellbit enters the living room. He sighs softly, seeing Tubbo fast asleep on the couch. It's not odd sight, but Cellbit would have appreciated some warning that he was staying over. At least the younger showered before sleeping; grease is an ordeal o gat out of the couch. He pulls the blanket further over Tubbo, letting him sleep for a bit longer. Cellbit rubs his eyes again and walks into the modest kitchen. After turning on the coffee machine and filling the kettle, he grabs five mugs. One mug for each person in the house.

It wasn't long until Cellbit was joined by Roier and Richas, who was being held by the other. Roier puts Richas down before taking his mug of coffee. Richas' mug is filled with juice rather than coffee. It's a school day, so no coffee for him in order to avoid complaints from his teacher. Mouse comes down next, and she looks already ready for the day. She grabs her mug, filling it with coffee and a bit of creamer. Cellbit compliments her hair, as it looks like she touched up the dye. Tubbo comes into the kitchen last. Somehow, he looks more exhausted than Cellbit feels. Roier and Mouse joke about Tubbo's love life being the thing that's exhausted him, both getting flipped off in response. Tubbo pours the hot water from the kettle into his mug before dropping a tea bag in. The rest of breakfast is comprised of avocado toast and regular toast.

Cellbit waves by to Jaiden, as they separate to go to their respective offices. Jaiden works in a different department, law Cellbit thinks. Upon sitting down in his office, he gets to work. It was about an hour or two later when Cellbit decided he needed a bit of break. He uses the bathroom, and he looks at himself in the mirror above the sink. His eyes catch on the light streak in his hair. How long has he had it? Is this what Jaiden meant by stress? There's that odd feeling behind his eyes again. He needs another coffee. The rest of the day passes by way too slowly but way too quick all at once. Writing case reports is as fulfilling as it is mind-numbing.

Cellbit takes Richas back upstairs to get ready for the day. He had to rush after hearing the honking of a car in the driveway. It was easier to carpool with Jaiden, as Bobby and Richas go to the same school and he and Jaiden work at the same place. After they're on the road, slightly late as always, Cellbit looks back at the boys in the backseat. They're messing around, teasing, everything that brothers do. He can't help but feel like he's looking at a ghost when he looks at Bobby. Maybe one cup of coffee wasn't enough. The music in the car is low, but Cellbit can recognize it as Jaiden's favorite. Jaiden pulls into the school's drop-off line, and almost instantly, Bobby and Richas are unbuckled. The back door unlocks, and the boys run out towards the school. Once they're inside, Jaiden pulls the car away, and now they're on the road to work. Cellbit complains about today's off feeling and how he thinks he's getting sick, Jaiden listens and suggests maybe it's stress. Maybe. They're in the parking lot of their workplace soon after.

Cellbit decides to walk home. It wasn't that far, and exercise is good. Maybe the odd feeling will leave if he gets some fresh air. He gets home just in time for dinner. Richas greets him at the door. Meanwhile, everyone else is already at the table. He sits at the table with Roier, Richas, Mouse, and Tubbo. The rest of the table bows their heads for grace, and suddenly, Cellbit is lost. He can't remember the words to the simple prayer. Is he sick? Is it stress? He bows his head anyway. The rest of dinner goes fine, aside from a minor food fight near the end over a stupid argument, Cellbit didn't catch it.

The rest of the night is average. Roier curls up with Cellbit on the couch, while Richas sits at the coffee table drawing. Mouse is sitting on the floor with Richas, and Tubbo is sitting on the single seat tinkering with something. It's domestic. It's achingly domestic. He kisses Roier on the cheek and says he's going to sleep early. His husband looks only jokingly upset about it. Cellbit lays in bed, and he falls asleep faster than he ever has before.

Cellbit wakes up on the floor of an unfamiliar cargo ship surrounded by three people he immediately recognizes, and one he doesn't. He can't remember what he dreamt about if he even dreamt at all.

[annajoyy]

Helpless

The metal cuts into my wrists. It feels so sharp it could be a knife. All of my weight is on my wrists, and my back, as I struggle against the hands bracing my shoulders and neck. There are five sets of locked doors from the patrol car to the adolescent unit. I dig my heels into the concrete and lean back as I am pushed through the first door. The male officer, on my left, twists my arm until the metal cuff feels like it’s going to saw through my wrist. I stop fighting. The female officer, on my right, tries to tell me something, about not fighting, about being compliant, about making things easier on myself. The second door is two feet in front of me now. Nurses hold it open. I push off the ground backwards, and try to throw my weight back as hard as I can. My collarbone pops, audibly, and I scream, and fall limp. The doctor told me this would stop within a few days, if I didn’t stress it too much. 

“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”

 The male officer huffs, and continues to drag me forward, through the second door, the hallway, and the third door. Once we get to the fourth door, I am able to focus through the pain, and I try to hook my foot behind one of the officer’s knees. He steps out of the way, and presses harder on the back of my neck with his black rubber-gloved hand. The fifth door. The last door. I try to wrench out of their grasp, Turning my my left shoulder into the officer, and trying to get my head to hit his chin, but he’s too far away, and it hurts too bad, and I’m already being pushed through the door. It closes behind me, and locks. I’m back on the adolescent unit. There is literally no way to get out now. What. The. Fuck. Why is the isolation door open? Why is there a line of staff from where I’m standing to it? Why is everyone wearing rubber gloves? The officer tells me to keep walking, and I fight through it. He pushes me forward, and I fight through it. It’s not until he has me, still handcuffed, and hurting, so, so bad, inside of the isolation room, do I give up. 

“Face towards the wall and spread your feet apart. As soon as I undo the left handcuff, put your hand on your head, and don’t move.”

The female officer left at some point, and it’s now just him, and me. The three-inch steel door, however, is still open. Presumably, it won’t be closed until the officer leaves. He takes off the first handcuff, and I realize I can’t feel my left hand. My fingers are tingly, numb. The officer tells me to put my hand on my head. I jolt around, and try to elbow him in the side. He slams his palm in-between my shoulder blades, and I hit the white wall. 

“Stop fighting.”

He finishes unlocking the second cuff, and steps away from me, to the door. I lunge at the door right as he walks through it, so they can’t lock me in. The officer spins around, grabs my shirt with two hands, and in one swift motion picks me and throws me. I hit the back wall, and crumple. I hear the door clang shut. I am facedown, on the cold white floor. My collarbone feels like it is burning, and my head hurts so bad I feel like I’m not thinking in English. I don’t even try and move. I let the white wash over my body, let it blanket my vision so I can be unburdened from knowing. 

[crowned-peony]

A sweet thought I had once I finished work.

The music loudly playing helped hide your sobbing. Crying would only make the headache worse but you needed to get these feelings out. Work was too long and so many things kept going wrong. It wasn't until you felt completely drained and that no more tears would fall did you get out of the car. The keys in your hand felt like it weighed 20lbs. Everything just felt too much and at the same time just felt numb. The pounding headache was only getting worse and just the desire to collapse into your bed to forget the day was the only thing willing you to get to the door. Just as you were about to unlock it, the door opened up. Waiting for you was your lovely partner.

"Hi love, do you want to have some dinner or relax in the bath first?"

"Bath please" you whispered. They took your things and helped you inside your home.

"I just need to add some more warm water okay"

They had set up the bathroom to be a spa. Soft music was playing, your favorite candles were lit and filled with a calming aroma and filled the room with a warming and soft glow.

"All ready for you. Just relax in the water for a while and I'll finish up dinner."

You nodded, they gently kissed your forehead and closed the bathroom door as they left. Once you undressed and got into the water, the stress of the day slowly melted away. The warm water felt good on your aching muscles. The headache calmed down a bit too and you stayed there until the water cooled down. Next to your towel was one of your favorite comfy pajamas. You couldn't help but smile at the thoughtful action. Once you were dressed you walked out to the kitchen and saw that they sat at the table and smiled at you.

"I made your favorite, thought that you could use some comfort food. Afterwards we can cuddle in bed and put something on and go to bed early. Sounds like a plan?"

"Sounds amazing my love, thank you"

They thought of everything and made your heart flutter with how lucky you were to have a gentle and caring partner you had

[lovesanmotion]

mafia!ateez public sex

💌. This is: requested 

TW: smut, smut and my terrible hand at writing smut 

Hongjoong: 

“Such a good girl for oppa” he whispers. Pussy twitching in anticipation, your head falls back with a cry and you close your eyes. His hands now snaking under the edge of your panties, and a moment later his fingers are deep inside you. The family ring that sits on his middle finger effortlessly slipping inside your folds. You can feel his hard on poking on your lower waist, the ring slides against the tightness of your pussy walls, making you go crazy for the bliss that comes after every brush of the ring. 

You hold on to his knees as he dips into you deeper, getting closer and closer to your soul with every swipe of his index, middle and ring fingers. You can feel the thickening of you orgasm through your whole body, and it peaks on his fingers as you know you’re about to come. 

And as you do, your mouth parts slightly open, letting our a flirtatious moan as your body shudders, the car slightly moving up and down with your action as thick cum sipping out of your sweet entrance. 

Seonghwa: 

He eyed your thighs as wondered what would it feel it to be squished between them. Licking his lower lip, he always loved it when you wear your uniform. Taking a hold on your wrist, he drags you to the farthest area of his own library room, helping you sit on top of the table and parting your legs like he’s going to read you like a book. He slowly leans in, the raw scent of your pussy driving him insane, taking your underwear off and tossing it on the floor, he takes a long lick on your clit before parting your folds and sticking his tongue inside your entrance. 

He licks up your juices, moving his tongue up your clit and across to tease your nub while slipping it back and forth, running his tongue through your folds until his tongue once again pushing into your opening. Taking a hold on your hips, his tongue thrusting into your entrance with an erotic rhythm. Alternating between slow and fast, taking his time enjoying the warmth of your entrance, slowly pulling out and pushing back. The room is filled with your pants and loud moans, teasingly you squished his face between your thighs, Seonghwa letting out a low groan. You felt your legs almost tingling, yanking his hair in your hands. 

Gently, he lets you release. His face covered with saliva and cum. He slowly stood up and captured your lips with his in a kiss, tasting yourself through his lips as his hands slowly caress your thighs. 

Yunho: 

You decided to visit Yunho in his office at night. However, you were met with a very horny man who was frustrated with what is happening to his current drug deals. Being the best girlfriend and soon-to-be wife you are, you decided to help him get his release. Sitting on top of his work desk, you lifted your legs up and parted them, giving him a good view of your wet cunt. He didn’t hesitate anymore, unbuckling his belt and removing his pants, he moves your underwear aside, teasingly slipping the head in and out before burying his whole cock inside your entrance. 

Pushing and pulling himself in out of your entrance, he took a hold on the back of your thighs and parted them further. “Mmmm I’ve missed that” he groans, arching your back to give him better access to your tight opening. “Come inside me” you panted. And that was enough to drive him into thrusting full and fast, driving his thick cock all the way in. “More,” he growled as he began pounding your pussy. You pussy, warm and supple, so damn tight that it was squeezing and rubbing him like a blind lover. Your cheeks starting to get hurt from the friction with the wooden table, but his cock wasn’t stopping. He just kept ramming it, feeling his balls on your pussy. Groaning and grunting with each thrust, you let out a cry as you coat his cock with his and your cum. 

Yeosang: 

He was stressed at how he was unable to unlock the codes and signals that their enemies built up. Typing fastly into his computer until he finally receives the message he so long waited for. System unlocked. It was until you entered his room and told him to take a break. You innocently sat on top of his lap, wrapping your arms around his nape, his arms around your frame and asks for a few minutes before he would take a break. 

You felt something hard poke through your thin covered panties, unconsciously moving your hips on top of his erection. Slowly, Yeosang leaned away from the hug and ripped your underwear from the side. His fingers slowly moving up and down your slit, holding his eyes locked on your face. Slightly sitting up and unbuckling his pants, his cock springing free from his boxers. Your pussy now soaked and with you extremely horny, slowly you sat down and slipped his cock inside your entrance. His hips thrusting upwards and slipping his cock deeper into you. You moaned as your body stretched to accomodate his girth, Yeosang has an good average but thick cock, and you tried to increase your pace to match his. 

It was not long before you felt his cock go even deeper, further increasing his speed. Feeling a fullness inside your entrance with his rock solid cock. He cups your cheeks leaning your face down to him and capturing your lips in a kiss before shoving his tongue inside your mouth. Finally tasting him after weeks of not being together. He’s thrusting into you deeper with every thrust, hitting your g-spot and your thighs wrapped around him. After a few power thrusts, you came together, mixing his cum with yours inside your entrance. He pulls you in once more only to kiss you sweetly this time. 

San: 

He isn’t yours to begin with. You had caught the eye of your sister’s husband and it brought you the feelings of guilt and mischief. For today’s luncheon with your family and San, you decided to wear the fittest pants you owned, accentuating the shape of your ass perfectly. Upon arriving at the hotel, you were surprised to see that it was only you and San in the dining hall. You found your name tag placed besides San on the end of the table, and instead of walking and pulling your chair from behind, you muttered an ‘excuse me’ to him as he has his legs stretched out. Crossing over San, you felt a hand cup your cheek. And as you glanced at him from behind, you noticed how he has his face close to your ass. 

“I didn’t know that they would be serving desserts first.” He chuckles darkly, now both of his hands are massaging your cheeks, you bit your lip and a soft moan escapes your lips. His hands snaking aroung your waist from behind as he zips down and pulls your pants away. “Not even wearing an underwear too” caressing your right cheek and bringing his hand down, softly caressing it afterwards. Without any warning, you felt your cheeks spread apart and his mouth latching on your pussy entrance. Letting out a loud moan, you’ve never felt so hot and wet before. 

With his middle and ring finger inside your vagina, his lips were on your clit - sucking, licking and cleaning your juices with his tongue, pressing the fold between his teeth. You let out a passionate moan as you ride San’s face. Upon reaching your orgasm, it left your pussy numb but a satisfied San licking your cum like it was ice cream. 

Mingi: 

His hands snaked up to your breasts, fondling and gripping them harshly while tweaking your nipples, his tongue lapped around your folds and your legs placed on top of his shoulders. Your jerked and shuddered with each thrust of his tongue, your hands tugging on his hair harshly as you feel yourself cumming for the sixth time. 

Clinging onto Mingi tightly while he rubs you clit, slurping and licking your folds until he welcomes your cum inside his mouth. The thrill of the sixth orgasm flows into him, letting out a loud growl before claiming your lips in his, kissing passionately yet torridly. Enough to leave love marks on your lips. 

“You know that good boys get a treat when they behave, right baby boy?” you smiled as he limps his naked body on top of yours, holding each other for comfort while catching breaths. 

“Yes mommy” 

Wooyoung: 

What was supposed to be a wholesome picnic at the garden of his mansion quickly escalated. Wooyoung, now resting his back on the trunk of tree, and you kneeling between his legs, pulling his pants down to his ankles, palming his hard on through the fabric of his boxers before pulling it down, your eyes sparkling at the sight of his erect cock. He took a hold of his cock, swiping the head around your lips and slapping it across your cheek before shoving it inside your mouth. 

“My baby’s mouth is so warm” He moans loudly, hands brushing the hair off your face before thrusting his hips inside your mouth harshly. He pushes his cock deeper in your mouth, in which you gladly accepted like a hungry madman. With his fingers tangled on your hair, he kept pushing his cock further into your mouth like he was feeding you. Surprisingly, he came quick inside your mouth. 

Wooyoung made another loud moan as he watches you erotically swallow his load inside your mouth. 

Jongho: 

He has a placed on top of your mouth, covering it as he wouldn’t let a single sound elicit out ouf your lips while a meeting - his meeting that he called for  - while railing from behind. The lewd sounds of skin slapping and grunting turned the both of you so much. His free hand going from holding on your hips and rubbing your clit to add more pleasure. 

“I wish you could see how much your pussy sucking my cock” he could still hear the voices of the board of directors and associates discussing the next possible trade and import of the products and who they are gonna dispatch for the job. Jongho picks up his pace, hitting your g spot until you release your high together. Before going back to his meeting, he took his time cleaning you up and setting you on the couch of his office, placing a blanket on your body and a kiss on your forehead before going back to his meeting. 

[missvelvetsstuff]

Little Bird

Bucky Barnes x OFC/Reader

Chapter 19

Warnings: swearing, angst, fluff, open ending

SMUT: 18+ ONLY!!!

Notes: I've been agonizing over this story trying to figure out how to end it. I wasn't liking the direction but when I started rewriting some of the chapters it just wasn't working. It still didn't feel right. I started another fic and somehow this came to me. This probably won't make some people happy but feels like a good and fitting resolution. At least to me.

Idk how the smut will work out but I'm basing it on the kind of smut I like to read and hope I do it justice.

Rika spent almost a week at Tony's cabin. It was a lovely cabin, rustic on the outside and fully Tony Stark on the inside. A Jacuzzi on the deck, a beautiful view of the lake and forest and some of the best alcohol money can buy. The view was nice, the accommodations luxurious, the liquor plentiful but she just couldn't settle down. Rika's brain was all over the place with love, hate, lust, hurt and everything else. She slept, hiked, swam and barely ate. She practiced yoga, stretching and trying to mediate with little success. She could not clear or calm her mind. So, she drank. And drank, hoping to numb and distract herself, to help forget even for a little while. Unfortunately her mutations made getting wasted difficult, not impossible but it took a lot and didn't last long.

On the 5th day Rika woke up angry. Morning yoga, a mountain run, a soak in the jacuzzi, half a bottle of Patron and she still couldn't calm her mind.

"Gorram it!" She cleaned up any mess she had missed along the way, threw her clothes back in her bag, locked everything up and sat in the car. She started it, hit the steering wheel and shouted "FUCK!!"

She didn't want to go back to the compound, this getaway was a total bust and she wasn't up to facing Bucky or the team yet. She was just as discombobulated as she started.

An idea popped into her brain. She put the car in gear and headed down the road, asking Friday to pull up the GPS and gave her the address for Xaviers school, and to let Tony know where she was going and that she would be a few more days. Then she called Hank to tell him she was on her way.

When Rika pulled up at the school Hank and Kurt were waiting for her out front. She smiled for the first time in a week and gave them both big hugs.

Hank grabbed her bag and started walking "Here, I found a guest room that you can use in the main wing. You are welcome to stay as long as you'd like, anytime you like. There will always be a home for you here. You know where everything is, so make yourself comfortable. Sleep, work out, find someone to spar with, sit in on a class, help teach a class, hold court in the dining room. I know there are a number of students who would love to meet you. Your mom is kind of a hero here."

Hank looked at her fondly "I know it's only temporary but it's still good to have you here."

Rika smiled back "It's good to be here. I could use some lunch."

"We can do that. You want to talk? We can eat in your room if you want some privacy."

Rika nodded "Yeah, that would be nice"

"I'll have the kitchen send something up."

Kurt had a class so gave Rika a hug and promised to see her later.

Hank stopped and unlocked a door, handing Rika the key when they stepped in.

She looked around the room "Is this a VIP room? Almost as fancy as the compound"

Hank blushed "Of course, you are a VIP."

Someone knocked on the door with lunch and Rika & Hank sat at the small table and dug in.

After a few bites Hank spoke up "So what's going on? You seem pretty agitated."

Rika sighed "It's Barnes. I'm so conflicted. I love him, I hate him, I want him, he disgusts me, I empathize with his experiences, I'm tired of his excuses. It's making me crazy. I spent 5 days at Tony's cabin upstate and did everything I've always done when I'm stressed but nothing helps. If I sleep I have dreams that always feature him but he varies between trying to fuck or kill me and sacrificing himself to save me.

I don't know how to resolve this. Other than that drama I'm happy with the Avengers. I don't want to leave but I don't know how to deal with him."

Hank shook his head "I'm sorry, I wish I knew what to tell you. I'm better with numbers and science than emotions and relationships."

Rika stayed for 3 days, hed long talks about life with Hank and Kurt, a lovely lunch with Charles and Ororo, an awkward lunch with Logan, simulations in the Danger Room, sitting in on a couple of classes, meeting newer students.

It all helped but she knew it was time to go home and deal with Barnes.

She hugged her friends goodbye and made the trip back to the compound, alerting only Tony of her return.

On the way she called Wade and he had the answer she needed. "Get him out of your system."

When she arrived she asked Friday where Bucky was. The common room of course, with most of the rest of the team. Great, an audience. It didn't matter, this had to be done. Rika steeled her nerves and strode out of the elevator and into the common room.

Nat saw her first "Rika! Welcome back! We-"

Rika put her hand up "Not now!"

She walked up to Bucky. "Barnes, we need to talk. Now!" She turned around and headed to her room, Bucky following nervously. When they made it to her room she locked the door behind them and pushed him down onto her couch.

Bucky tried to speak "Rika, I-"

"Nope" she interrupted "It's my turn to talk." He waited as she paced for a minute.

"I hate you Barnes, you have been nothing but drama and stress since I met you. Your constant racism is ignorant and hateful. Your weak attempts to apologize are infuriating. Your need to belittle me reeks of misogyny that should have been left back in the 40's. I hate you and it's even worse because I want you. The chemistry we have is intense and makes me want to forget all the horrible things you have said and done which makes me hate myself for wanting such an asshole. I feel like I'm betraying all mutants for even thinking about you like that. I can barely eat. I can't sleep, you've invaded my dreams and you either fuck, kill or die saving me. I don't know how to stop feeling this way and I-"

"You're not being fair" Bucky interrupted as he stood up and before he knew what was happening his face stung and his head whipped to the side. She slapped him! Hard.

"Fair!" She yelled "Don't you fucking come at me with your whiny bullshit about what's fair and how it's not your fault. I don't want to empathize with you or connect because of similar trauma. I wasn't a cunt to people after you saved me from Hydra and they did some fucked up shit to me too."

She shoved him back against the wall and slapped his other cheek with equal force. Before he had a chance to clear his head she grabbed his hair to pull his face closer to hers and kissed him.

There was nothing gentle or caring about her kiss. It was all anger & chemistry, hate & lust, teeth and tongues. When he realized what was going on he leaned into it and kissed her back, fighting for dominance. His left arm around her waist pulling her flush against him while his right hand roughly explored every part of her that he could reach. He pinched her nipple and she groaned.

"You do like it rough, don't you princess?"

"Look at it this way, Barnes, I'm probably the only woman in the compound that can take anything you can give." She teased biting his lip and rubbing against his growing erection.

"Why so needy doll, didn't your little Cajun boy take care of you? Not man enough to satisfy this greedy pussy?" He taunted her, nibbling on her ear.

"You jealous, Barnes?" She snapped back at him. "Never fucked Remy, I told you it wasn't like that with him."

Rika grabbed his t-shirt by the neck and ripped it straight down the front to expose his chest. She started kissing and biting down his neck, all over his shoulders making sure to nip at every scar.

He groaned "Fuck, doll. I can smell you. I need to taste your sweet pussy"

Bucky pulled back and looked her in the eye, "Tell me to stop. Say no and this never happened"

Rika slapped him again but a bit more gently "Don't you dare try to pretend you could walk away right now, Barnes. You want me just as badly as I want you. If you stop, I'll hurt you"

Bucky growled "Don't you threaten me with a good time." And kissed her roughly, wrapping his left hand around her throat and squeezing gently. rutting against her until she moaned into his mouth. He moved his hand from her throat, picked her up by her thighs and she wrapped her legs around his waist so he could carry her to the bed.

Bucky set her down on the bed, pulling off her jeans and panties which were soaked. He looked at the bit of silk and lace, groaned and fluttered his eyes as he smelled them,then looked at Rika with a smirk while stuffing them in his pocket "For later". 

He pulled his jeans and briefs down to toss aside.

Rika quickly removed her t-shirt and bra then laid back with her legs open so Bucky could see what he did to her, staring at his long, thick and very hard cock.

He pulled his pants off and crawled over her up the bed until they were face to face and he could kiss her again.

Bucky tried to be soft and gentle, show her what he had such a hard time saying but Rika was having none of that. She bit his lip and drew blood.

"This isn't lovemaking, Barnes so get that touchy feely shit out of your head and make me cum."

"As you wish" he gently bit her lip and started kissing down her body, taking in every detail like the dusky purplish color of her nipples and the addictive taste that he couldn't describe. He paid close attention to every reaction to find all of her spots, he wanted to memorize her in case this only happened once. He kissed and nibbled his way down to her mound. He took in a deep breath and groaned at the smell of her arousal.

"You gonna just sit there are stare at it or are you going to don't something about it?" Rika demanded

Bucky smirked and dove in, licking and sucking, growling at how sweet and wet she was. "Taste so sweet, I could stay here all day" he gently inserted one metal finger and groaned into her pussy as she clenched down on his finger. Then he added another.

"Jesus, Rika. You're so wet, soaking my hand and the bed. Is this all for me, doll?"

Rika whined "Fuck, Bucky yes all you. Please don't stop. I'm so close"

Bucky grinned then promised "I won't stop, not ever. Cum for me doll, I need to feel you"

Rika couldn't help herself, his mouth, his fingers, his demanding tone. She came, harder than she could remember ever coming. She screamed and gushed all over his face. Bucky took all of it, licking up every drop until he pulled away.

Rika tried to catch her breath as she was coming down from her high. She could feel Bucky crawling up her body and when she opened her eyes to look at him she saw the predatory look on his face that was shiny from her slick. She grabbed his hair and pulled him in to kiss her. She tasted herself and it just made her feel hotter.

"You need to fuck me Barnes, before I change my mind.

Bucky laughed "I plan on it but I know you aren't going anywhere. Like you said, doll, you need it as badly as I do." He smirked at her and she slapped him again.

"Would you shut the fuck uuup" she yelped as he thrust his hips forward and filled her in one stroke.

"Is that what you needed, Doll? Maybe a good fuck will help your attitude" he taunted as he slammed into her repeatedly "Dammit, this pussy is so hot and tight, keeps sucking me back in. Tell me how bad you need my cock, how bad you need me to fuck the brat out of you"

Rika groaned, he felt as good if not better than she ever imagined but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction "You aren't man enough to fuck the brat out of me. Better men have tried."

Bucky grinned at her, never slowing down, as his vibranium hand moved up to stroke her throat then started to squeeze gently "I don't think you've had anyone better than me. I think you need to admit it to yourself and me. Or you don't get to cum again."

Rika growled and shoved him off of her. "Your ego is still unbelievable, Barnes. I'm not letting you control me or my body."

She threw him onto the bed and mounted him, sliding back down on his cock. They both moaned at the feeling. Rika wrapped her hand around his throat "We'll see who gets to cum now."

She started riding him, chasing her own release without concern for his, until she felt the coil tighten "Oh, fuck, Barnes. So good, yes, YES" she yelled as she came.

Bucky felt her choking his cock and couldn't hold back anymore and roared "Yes, Fuck, Rika!!" she squirted all over him as he filled her with his spend.

After they both came down and were breathing normally, Rika moved off of him and fell back onto her bed. Bucky couldn't move, he had never has sex so intense and already wanted more.

After a few minutes, he turned to look at Rika, reaching out to caress her face. She slapped his hand away. "I told you this isn't love, don't try to make it something it isn't."

Bucky looked down and sighed. "I should go, since you got it out of your system. Don't want the team to think somethings going on."

Rika laughed "I'm pretty sure they heard some of that. Besides, what is your problem?"

Bucky stuttered "I just thought-"

Rika slapped him again "So I'm good enough to fuck but not good enough for anyone know you fucked me?"

Bucky was so confused "But, I thought"

Rika smirked "There's your first mistake, stop thinking. I don't want your damaged brain."

She curled up in her bed "So make your choice. Sneak away like a stupid teenager or turn that dumb brain off and cuddle with me. Whatever, I'm taking a nap."

The End?

@vicmc624 @nash-dara

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

Yandere halloween ask yandere mad scientist! Bruno uses mind control chip to get darling to be the perfect spouse?

This ask right here made my mouth froth, I love Stepford wives so this ask just rolled along perfectly. Anyway enjoy!

This love

(Yandere mad scientist Bruno X female reader)

You had always thought so highly of Dr Buccirati, you were his apprentice after all but there were times that you thought he just went a little too far with his work and this was one of them.

As he explained to you about how he made a chip that could modify an animal's behaviour. How the chip was planted in the rat's brain that you were holding.

"See (Y/n), look at how tame she is now" he said as he petted the poor creature's head.

"What do you intend to do with what you have learnt?" You asked with anger in your words.

"I intend to have the chip used to help with the conservation of the many animals that are close to being extinct. The animals will have the procedure and be put into captivity, they'll have no more issues with stress or aggressive behaviours which allows for them to be safely cared for and less risk during the reproduction cycle" he explained.

"So what you are saying is that you're going to be suppressing their natural survival instincts so they become domesticated?" You asked with a bitter taste on your tongue.

"That's exactly it, they'll have a safe place to repopulate and have nothing to worry about" he answered as he expressed his delight but it only made you grit your teeth in anger.

"I'm disgusted by what you are doing! You're essentially performing a lobotomy on these poor animals! You're playing god and taking away the emotions of a living creature!" You yelled at him.

"I've helped you work on some crazy things before… but I cross the line here!" You continued as you put the rat down in her cage before folding your arms at Bruno.

"Come on (y/n), you're overreacting… what I'm, no what we are working on is going to change history. So many species will be saved from becoming extinct. we will be two of the greatest scientific minds the world has ever know" he held your shoulder and lightly massaged it as he tried to convince you that there was no wrong in it.

"I don't know why you insist that this is a joint effort but I don't want anything to do with it, if people figure out how it works then it won't be long before this is used on humans… how many corrupt governments do you think would love to have this kind of technology used on their own people?" You rebuttal.

you glared at Bruno as you could see his usually calm demeanor wearing thin. He had his hands gripping his short black locks.

"(Y/n) the truth is that I love you, more than I could love anyone else. I want you to be by my side and I want you to be my equal…" he as his grip on you grew tighter.

"You are so intelligent and so beautiful… I just want you to do your best" he continued.

You pulled away the male with a shocked expression plastered on your face.

"Bruno… I didn't know you felt that way about me but I'm afraid I don't share the same feelings, I just don't think the chemistry is there between us" you told him before you headed to your bedroom.

🧪🧪🧪

You had decided you needed to cut ties from Bruno and finally begin your own work. You don't think anything could keep you working with him now. You began to pack your clothes back into your suitcase.

"(Y/n) are you planning on leaving now?" He asked as he rested himself against the door frame, he seemed to have recollected himself but to you something was off about his almost carefree tone.

"I intend to leave tomorrow" you said as you sat on your bed and folded your clothing.

"Don't you think you're blowing this out of proportion, can't we put the breaks on just talk about this over some tea..." he said as he slowly drew closer to you.

"I understand that you're upset and I didn't make things much better" he continued calmly before violently grabbing your hand causing you to fall back onto the bed before you heard a metallic click. You screamed as you tried to pull your hand back to find it was handcuffed to the head of the bed.

"What the hell?!" You screamed at Bruno who was now on top of you.

"I'm sorry that it had to come to this but I can't let you leave" he said.

"I love you too much to let you go… you're too good for this world" he continued.

You felt your stomach twist horribly and your vocal cords seize up. Your eyes were wide with horror.

"I dealt with my unrequited love for so long, I tried to just to put my feelings aside for you but I feel like if I keep it up any longer I'll explode" he rambled you tried to push him with your free hand but he was quick to hold it down.

🧪🧪🧪

It had been a month since he'd locked you up. You were curled up with your knees to your chest, you could see every little mark he'd ever left on your body, you still felt the sting that each love bite left on your skin. Today was cold and the chain and cuff around your ankle made it worse as you shivered in a silk nightgown.

You flinched as you heard the front door open. You had hoped that maybe that was anyone but Bruno, someone that could free you from this place. You heard a pair of footsteps draw closer, your hope dying as the same pattern tore into your brain… you knew he was home.

"(Y/n) I'm home" his voice was cheerful as he opened the door.

"I'm sorry I was later than usual… I found so many things I thought you'd like" he explained as he walked in with a large bag in his hand before placing it on the bed. You were hesitant to look but his sapphire eyes stared at you in anticipation, making your skin crawl.

You grabbed the bag and the first thing you pulled out was a 50s style white and black polka dotted dress. You looked at Bruno with a forced smile on your face.

"Bruno this is really nice but I've never really been a fan of dresses" you told him. He didn't respond. You pulled out another similar dress before picking out various boxes with golden jewelry till there was one more box inside, however it was rectangular in shape unlike the others. You pulled it out only to gasp in horror as you gazed upon the packaging of a pregnancy test. You looked back at him.

At this point you knew something was wrong, your stomach was telling you.

"What's going on?" You asked him with shakey words.

"I just need you to take it" he responded.

"Why?" 

"I need to know whether or not you're pregnant, it's urgent"

"Urgent, what's urgent?!" You yelled at him.

"You're being extremely vague, it's scaring me" you replied, unsure of what was so urgant. You really hoped you weren't, having to live knowing your child was of his blood.

"Just take it please, wouldn't you like to know as well?" He begged.

You had a bad feeling about this but if you knew now then you could try to do something about it if it did come back positive. You let out a defeated sigh as you unboxed the test.

"See you didn't need to make such a big deal about it dear" he said in a light hearted tone as he walked towards the bed and unlocked the shackle on your leg and allowed you to go to the bathroom.

You felt the relief wash over you as you saw the results. It was negative, perhaps you were getting yourself all worked up.

"(Y/n) dearest, what's the results?" Bruno asked from outside the bathroom door. You opened it and showed him, his eyes lit up with joy as he hugged you which was very odd indeed, you assumed he'd had baby fever… if that was the case shouldn't he be disappointed.

You recoiled as you felt a sharp jab on the inner side of your elbow. You saw the now empty syringe in his hand.

"What are you doing?!" You screamed as you stumbled back from his grasp. He looked at the syringe and let out a content hum before his eyes returned to you.

He contemplated on whether he should tell you or not but at this point you couldn't do anything to stop him so there was no point in hiding it.

"I remember back on the night you tried to leave fondly, in hindsight you gave me the most brilliant idea" he explained.

"That whole talk on how my chip could work on humans was really inspiring, so I'm going to do just that… if you won't love me like this, then I can just make you love me" he continued as a smile grew on his lips.

The shock hit you as he explained it all, it horrified you to imagine it. It shook you to the very core. Everything else seemed like a luxury in comparison to losing everything.

"Bruno, please don't do this! I love you so much!" You screamed as you draped your body over him.

"My dear I love you so much… I'll stay with you forever… I'll give you as many children as you want, please oh please don't do this!" You were practically sobbing as you tried to pull on his strings.

"I'll do anything for you, anything at all!" You continued as you felt everything becoming numb, he had you in his hands and he could do anything he wanted to you.

"Please Bruno, we can put this all behind us and start over… you never imprisoned me, you never did those things to me… we can be the happiest couple!" You pleaded to him as your eyelids grow heavy.

"Please… please… I won't be the same person you feel in love with if you do this…" your screams turned into a mutter and as you tried to fight off the deep abyss of unconsciousness you swore you could see a glimpse of your whole life with every slow blink.

🧪🧪🧪

"What you've made is amazing Bruno, you should be proud of your work" the man in front of Bruno complimented his work.

"Thank you sir, to be honest I wouldn't be here showing you this if it wasn't for my wonderful wife" he said as he beamed with joy.

"Oh, your wife must be an amazing woman to help you" the man replied.

"Yes she is. She always gave me the right idea when I was unsure, she'd be here with us right now if it weren't for the upcoming baby. She's just been so ecstatic about it since we found out" he stated as he had his head in his hand. He was over the moon with joy, he couldn't talk to someone without bringing up the fact that he was going to be a father soon.

"Oh congratulations, how long till it's due?" The male congratulated him.

"Oh it's close, we're expecting around October… It's hard to imagine that I'll be a father in two months"

"And how's the lucky lady feeling about this? My wife was pretty worried before our first" he asked.

"Oh she's been great, she's been taking it all in stride. I haven't seen her sick or having any mood swings like what most of us tend to expect" Bruno chuckled as he slumped back into his chair.

"We should probably get back on topic… I should probably explain how these chips work in detail"

[kissmetae]

Hope

❧ AU: x Taehyung || Friends to Lovers (Lowkey slow-burn)

You felt distressed, caught up in your own emotions and confused by your over-thought thoughts. Going through a rough patch as some would say, where everything felt hopeless and you found yourself scrolling pinterest till 1am looking for "angsty" core aesthetics to fit your new "vibe" of life. But it was easier said than done to dig yourself a hole when your best friend constantly stood by filling the hole back up as you dug in an attempt to stop you, help you and make you feel better, despite having his own issue to deal with... his crush on you.

|| ANGST + SMUT | 11k | x reader | masterlist in bio ||

❧ Disclaimer: This is fiction. Actions and events in these stories are often exaggerated and to a certain degree unrealistic.  Please have this in consideration when reading fiction, especially if it includes sexual content.

❧ Rating: EXPLICIT || sexual content, unprotected sex ||  Warnings: mention of feeling hopeless, "deep reflection", (reader is troubled by something going on in their life but it's open for interpretation/unspecified)

❧ Smut features: Vanilla, desperate, first time together, unprotected, reassuring/concent asking/'checking in' (is this ok? Does it feel good?) top!Tae and a power outage.

How do you know when you've reached the complete state of hopelessness? Do people ever become 100% hopeless? You inhaled deeply and sighed it out. Gaze to the white ceiling, back on the bed and legs up against the wall. The tingle in your feet from the lack of circulation made them look somewhat less alive and feel cold. With a tilt of the hips you allowed your legs to slowly fall to the side, forming a new pose in the shape of a 90 degree angle on the bed and allowing for the less zombie-ish color to return to your feet. Hopelessness. Feeling like there is no point yet still stubbornly aching in the inner crevice of the head with a wish for there to be a chance for something else. A change, a plot twist a sudden eureka to make the entire world loose it's zombie color pallet and become lively and vibrant again. Hope. Or a wish for hope. It's probably some basic programming, like survival instinct, hope instinct. But at this point you didn't want to believe. You wanted to be grumpy, upset, frustrated. To curse society and curse what isn't fair and curse all the norms and expectations around you regardless of who made them up! Curse the media, curse the mold for perfect and the lip filler ads, curse the restrictions planted by your own beliefs and curse the cause of said belief! But feeling frustrated and angry is hard. Not only is it exhausting but it's the hardest emotion to let out fully and feel satisfied by after. If anything anger and frustration feels like a self-fueling fire that keeps burning more and more until you get exhausted and slump down on the bed with your legs up the wall. Crying would've been easier. You sat up, feeling a brief spin in the head due to your advanced modelling poses and reached for your water bottle. Water, Zen, calm rivers, refreshment, sound of clucking water in the harbor... rain. You turned towards your bedroom window at the sudden raging pattering sound outside. Even the sky needed to cry today. You reached for your phone, having it be faced down for the past hour or so after giving up on ranting about your dilemma to your friend. You had two types of friends. Those who were there for you when convenient and those who were there for you regardless. Taehyung was one of them. 3 missed calls. 15 texts- make that 16. A sting of guilt washed through realizing he must've been worried sick the past hour. Too exhausted to use your vocal chords you opened the text chat. Taehyung was the definition personified of a caring person. Sometimes to the extent where you'd question if it was more than anyone deserved. Did the world deserve Taehyung? You didn't make it through the second text before your doorbell rang followed by a loud bang. It sounded urgent... You got up from bed and slipped your feet into your white fluffy slippers and made your way to the front door of your apartment. You unhooked the clasp and unlocked your door to see one of the rainstorm's victims dripping water onto your doormat. Taehyung, Dressed in a green raincoat and hair clinging to his forehead and temples. His chest was rising unnaturally with his attempts to regain his breathe. "Tae-" He stepped in, an arm wrapping around your side and the other pressing your head to his wet shoulder. "If you didn't make me so worried... I would've removed my raincoat before hugging you." He squeezed. "See this as my revenge." His heart was beating fast. He pulled back after a few seconds, breathing stable and his red hands reaching to unbutton his raincoat. Did he not wear gloves? He pulled the door shut behind him and gently kicked off his boots. Apparently not. "I'll... go hang your raincoat in the bathroom for it to dry" you said, taking it from him. He was quick to address the elephant. "Why didn't you reply to my texts?" He followed behind you. "I... I left my phone to charge and I got distracted..." you made up, hanging his raincoat up in the shower. "I didn't come here to scold you, but when you tell me you're feeling hopeless, you get that it makes me worried right?" His voice was gentle and he looked at you with concerned eyes, stood in the door to the bathroom. Actually.... you didn't. Why would anyone worry... everyone seemed to always take it as nihilistic comedy or something and swat it away with something along the lines of "you’re just hungry" or the classic "are you on your period?" Maybe you were or maybe you weren't but why would that matter? Just thinking about it made you feel annoyed. As if any deep emotion only was caused by a period, it's just a period, why would anyone, let alone someone with a period themselves ask someone else that in a way that minimizes the reason they feel upset or angry or whatever emot- "Hey?" Taehyung pulled you back out from inside your head. "I don't know..." He crossed his arms over his chest and you knew that look far too well. "We'll talk about it, but right now, I'm here to make it better and take care of you. Did you eat?" You shook your head. "Great! Because I stopped by at the shop on my way... before the rain attacked me and picked up some stuff, including~" he said with an eager tone and walked towards the grocery bag you hadn’t noticed until now. He picked it up and dug his hand in for something. "Du du du du" he sang dramatically and slowly pulled out the familiar dark blue packaging. The love of your life, the source of all things good. Chocolate. The good one! Not the weird orange wrapping one you hated, but the blue one, the holy blue one, your favorite one. "I remember your frustration when you saw the empty shelf of horror last week and it was restocked today so i picked up three just in case." "THREE?!" "Mhm!" He nodded proudly. You could cry, finally, but for other reasons. "TaeTae you're the best." You walked towards him, hugging him tight. He was the bestest of the best, the hero, the savior, chocolate delivery man. Oh what would life be without him. A blush spread across his cheeks. "You did it again." He said shyly "Hm? Did what?" "You called me TaeTae." "You don't like it?" "... I do." -- Taehyung had you stationed at the kitchen table while he cooked. With a focused gaze he scrolled on his phone, reading the next step for the recipe while stirring the pot. You were pretty sure he knew this recipe by heart now, he'd cooked it for you before and he should be confident in it but seemingly not enough yet to put the recipe down. The kitchen smelt amazing and you could feel your hunger cry out for whatever was simmering in the pot. Taehyung gently tapped the wooden spoon against the pot as he added another ingredient. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked. That's where you'd left him hanging in your texts when exhaustion took over... "I just..." "Is it /that/ thing?" Taehyung asked, very much knowing of your source for distress already. "Kinda... but this time it feels different... I’m not nervous or eager, I just felt like I was waiting and waiting and what if I waited so long for nothing and I.... it doesn’t make sense but I just feel numb at this point and like I'm losing hope. Like every odd is set against me and I'm the only one dumb enough to still bet on myself." "And me. Except I'm not dumb, nor are you and I'll always bet on you. Always." Oh Taehyung... "Well, as your personal doctor and advisor and therapist and nurse, care-taker, comfort teddy and so on, I am going to prescribe you with some stuff." You chuckled. "Please go ahead." He placed a plate in front of you and another on the opposite end of the table. "Firstly, a good healing meal." "And you’ve already done everything in your power right now, you’ve been working hard. Maybetoohard." He mumbled under his breathe followed by a fake cough. "That said, let me distract you." "How?" "Well, some old school friends wanted to go out clubbing this weekend and-" "You don't like clubbing." "Hold on, let me get to the point. My suggestion is that you can come too, it won’t only be them. There will be the general club people too of course and I think most of them were bringing other friends or their girlfriends too so... it might be fun? If it sucks, we'll ditch and go to the midnight bowling place or noraebang, yes?" Maybe having some social interaction, an excuse to dress up and good music wasn't such a bad idea? The only thing bugging you was the potential mess there could be... and lately with your stressed mind you hadn't been the best at handling those environments, but after all this was just a club, with dancing people... it couldn't be that bad right? Bowling did sound fun too though... But you knew distraction and fun was what you probably needed. Maybe it wouldn't solve the issues but maybe it'd make it weigh less. The small distractions did a lot, a big one should do even more. "Sure." "Really?!" You could've sworn you just witnessed his ears wiggle from excitement. "I'll come." -- When Taehyung said "clubbing" you expected big flashy neon signs, a red rope and a guard and pulsing music coming from inside... not a giant base, a sax and a set-up of almost 4 different types of synthesizers. A jazz club. You should've known. The band was some sort of electro jazz fusion sprinkled with funk type band, as they introduced themselves as and they weren't bad, not at all. In fact this was a lot cozier than an uncomfortable packed nightclub. You just wish Taehyung told you so you could've worn your comfy flowy favorite dress rather than your tight little black one, wanting to fit in with the scene... Taehyung was dressed in black slacks, a green sweater and a brown coat that was hung over his chair, paired with his trademark assortment of bracelets on his wrist. Including the one you gave him for his birthday two years ago. He never took it off since the day he got it. It made you smile seeing it on his wrist. Taehyung's old school friends, the few you had managed to great during the evening were all really nice and most of them had their arm either around another or a hand held by another. You couldn't help but feel a little awkward, the questioning looks that didn't need to be vocal for you to understand. "Is this your girlfriend?" Taehyung just smiled, maybe playing it off was best... or did he just not notice the silent question? At first you expected a shrug or something but nope... "Would you like something more to drink?" Taehyung asked, leaning in so you'd hear him over the music and pointing towards your nearly empty glass. "I think I'm alright." "What?" "I'm ok." You leaned in closer. "Do you want to dance?" You and Taehyung were seated alone at one of the many tables as the majority were occupied dancing to the beats of the band and the rest drinking at other tables or mingling around. You had been up there at least twice, maybe even three times dancing the best you could and Taehyung always being by your side but your brain was starting to get a little drowsy. "I think I'm going to call it a night. But you can stay if you want." "No no, if you want to go home I'll come with you, let me walk you home." "I'll take a taxi its ok" "I insist." "So do I" the few drink he had had were enough to make his words braver and bolder. "It's late, I don't want you to go back alone regardless of if you take a taxi. I'll walk you." Fine. "Ok" Taehyung swept the remainder of his wine  and grabbed his coat and waved some quick goodbyes. It was cold outside. Dark and empty... maybe it was good Taehyung insisted after all. He stumbled slightly, alarming you. Your hands instinctively reached for him and he giggled. "You only had two glasses I doubt you're drunk right now." "Maybe I wiwwle tipdie" he giggled, clearly  acting up. "Does wiwwle tipdie Taehyung need help? Should I carry you on my back?" "No! I should be carrying you, do you have a blister on your heal from your shoes? Sore feet? Sore legs? Anything I can use as an excuse?" You laughed, patting him gently on the back. A cold breeze travelled through the street and you pulled your jacket tighter around you. "You're cold?" Taehyung asked "A little... my choice of dress wasn't the best." "I think you look beautiful." The sudden compliment caught you off guard. "... thanks." "Thanks? For what?" "The compliment" "I'm simply stating the facts." He said, looking to the side and slipping his hands into his pockets. "It sure is cold..." Why was it feeling awkward suddenly? Silence between the two of you would usually be comfortable... "Thanks for bringing me too." "Did you have fun?" He turned to face you again. "Yes, it was better than I expected." "I'm glad to hear that." "But let’s go bowling next time." "Sure!" He smiled widely. A source of warmth suddenly surrounded you and you looked up to see Taehyung's face turned away yet again but his arm resting around your shoulder, wrapping his coat around you and urging you closer into his side till your hips almost brushed against each other. The rest of the walk back home was a few minutes of silence, but luckily you didn't live far. "Home sweet home" "How will you get home?" You asked, concerned. "Ah..." he checked the time on his phone. "Well I've missed the last train... so unless I can find a taxi which so far I've seen none I'll have to sleep at the station." "No you're not, come, you can call a taxi from my place and at least wait inside instead of out in the cold." You said, grabbing his arm and pulling him with you through the entrance. "Nobody's picking up?" You asked Taehyung looked down at his phone with a confused look. "It keeps hanging up on me? I don't know if maybe their line is down or something?" "It would explain why we didn't see any on the walk back." "I guess so... so now what?" He looked up at you. "Guess you'll have to stay the night." He grinned. "Can't remember the last time we had a sleep-over" he chuckled and removed his coat. He was right, it must've been years ago... the last time you could remember was a movie night gone sleep over during winter when it had snowed so no traffic was able to move at all. You grabbed a spare cover and a pillow and handed it to Taehyung, sleepiness already present in his eyes. "Hey." Taehyung said, laying out the pillow and cover on your sofa. "If I have a nightmare can I come lay next to you?" He grinned. "If you have to." He replied with a puppy gaze. "Good night TaeTae." His eyes widened and he looked down at the couch. "... Good night." -- The question was when would you wake to the sound of birds chirping instead of the aggressive rasp of the snow plow dragging across the street? It almost sounded like it was more ir less plowing the asphalt off the earth rather than the snow. More irritating was that it just added to your unsatisfying sleep and rough awakening streak. One good morning was all you asked for... You sat up, slid off the edge of the bed and slipped into your slippers that were neatly set up by its side. A scratch of the head and an adjusting pull of the bun on your head and you headed to you first destination; tea. With heavy steps you dragged yourself out of your room and were met by the surprise you had forgotten was left on your couch from last night, sprawled across the sofa... in only boxers. Oh god. The covers were halfway on the floor, only covering his legs, barely. It was cold too but should you just ignore him... no, you couldn't... but what if you woke him up? He was only in boxers and you were already trying your best not to look but your brain had already registered that they were black and Calvins... please no more information... thigh muscles NO! Chest, focus on the chest. He was breathing, he was alive. Inhale, exhale. You carefully made your way towards him. His chest was toned... the type perfect to rest your head on NO! Messy hair... It really didn't help that your best friend was as attractive as he was. You bent down and carefully picked up the cover, pulling it back up over his upper body. He must've been really cold, his nipples- NO. You shook your head furiously to get rid of the thought. You turned around 180 degrees and marched to the kitchen. Tea. Tea. Tea. Tae. TEA! You could hear the covers rustle as he shifted, followed by a soft groan. Oh no... Please no. Although... why was it so dangerous for him to see you in your own home, making tea. I don't know! But regardless it felt like an action movie stealth scene for the grand heist judging by your heart beat. The boiler was too loud, the accidental clink of the mug as you set it to the counter too, the rip of packaging of the tea bag, the wind whistling outside! Sweat? You were sweating, stress consuming you yet again over the moist pointless little thi- "Hey?" The tea cup smashed against the kitchen floor along with your gasp and you grabbed the door handle of the kitchen cupboard for support. Taehyung starred at you with wide startled eyes. Maybe your screech scared him as much as his sudden presence scared you. "Sorry." He chuckled, voice so deep and raspy you could practically feel his vocal chords vibrate. Your heart was pounding hard. Could he at least have been swaddled in the covers and not in his boxers right now... You diverted your eyes to the porcelain shards across the floor. "Wait wait wait!" Taehyung yelped, holding his hand out to stop you from moving. But it was too late. The dark kitchen along with your giddiness had of course resulted in the unfortunate miss step. You sighed, lifting your foot from the chard as you felt something wet trickle down your foot. Taehyung quickly reached to turn the lights on, the bright shine blinding both of you briefly and making the view of him even clearer. "Stay there." Taehyung ordered. Your kitchen was pretty small so there wasn't much space to move without risking another wrong step. A cup of tea and now all this. You slapped your arms to your sides in a deep pout. Making a new cup now just felt wrong but you craved a cup so bad and it was cold... the floor was cold, you were cold... and not to mention everything hanging in form of heavy weights on your shoulders and chilling on top of the imaginary storm cloud above you right now. It's like your issues were mocking you and just making everything worse. Maybe the issue was that you related to the once-was intact mug. You felt split and unorganized, all over the place and dependent on things you knew you shouldn’t be depending your hope and happiness on but yet day after day you’d lose yourself in a visualization of a scenario of perfection were everything would be ok until again the door was slammed in your face and you had to start all over again. No matter how many times you felt like this time would be different and this time you were ready, this time it'd all go your way because the past was forgiven and your time wasn’t right but again and again .... Your patience was running out. You sniffed, wiping the tears from your cheeks with the back of your hand. Taehyung came back holding a broom and a dust pan when he saw your face of tears. "No..." he sounded panicked. He leaned down quickly sweeping the chards to the side of the kitchen and tossing the broom and pan into the pile so he could approach you. Strong lean arms embarrassed you like out of a 6 different angles k-drama scene. A hand found its place on the back of your head, softly petting you as the other pressed you closer to his warm chest. Never had you expected  that hugging Taehyung would feel this safe. May it be because he was the one you could be truly vulnerable with or that he was the one that knew what was going on right now, but whatever he did... he did it just right. "You don't need to say anything." He whispered. "I know." He squeezed you a little firmer. "I know." He reassured. "Sssh" his hand felt so gentle as it caressed you. "It's going to be ok." He felt so warm. "I'm here." His skin felt so soft against your hands. "I'm not going anywhere." Your heart calmed down. Taehyung didn't pull away until you became silent and your breathing stable. But even then he didn't pull away completely, only enough to look at your face and caress his thumbs under each eye gently. "I'll reheat the water for you." He smiled softly and reached for the switch on the kettle. You didn't want to let go, not just yet. But he slipped away carefully and kneeled to sweep up the shards and discarded the pieces into the bin. He briefly disappeared and came back holding his sweater, arms slipped in and pulling it over his head as he entered, causing his shoulders to naturally flex slightly as he slipped it on. He grabbed two mugs from the cupboard, added a bag in each and filled them with the hot water. You tugged and fidgeted at your sleeve as you watched, feeling unusually shy in his presence. "Come, let’s sit on the sofa" Taehyung said and grabbed a mug in each hand but quickly came to a halt. "Your foot!" You had forgotten about it too. He placed the mugs back down and watched you as you lifted to check the cut. "Fuck." Taehyung said and quickly ripped a piece of kitchen towel off and handed it to you. Holding one hand against the fridge for support and the other wiping the smeared mess on your foot you watched as Taehyung quickly disappeared and reappeared again with your med kit. "Does it hurt?" He asked, rummaging through the kit. "No, it just stings a little." He pulled out some disinfectant solution and eyes you quickly up and down. Before you knew it he was stood in front of you, kneeling slightly as you felt his large hand grab a hold behind your thigh and his arm scooped you up on him. Your heart was back to its rapid pace again. He set you down on the sofa carefully and went back to grab the disinfectant and the tea mugs. He sat on the floor in front of you, soaking a cotton pad with the solution and gentle pulling your foot towards him by the ankle. "Ah, thanks goodness it doesn't seem to be deep." He said with relief, gently dabbing the cotton pad to the wound. It stung a little but it wasn't too bad. "All nice and clean, do you have cute band-aids?" "Only boring plain ones I'm afraid." Taehyung scrunched his nose. "Boo." With a band-aid beneath your foot and your longed for tea in your hands you sat next to him on the sofa. "An eventful morning." "I should become your fulltime caretaker at this point." Taehyung joked. "Not that I'd mind." "Will you pay me?" He raised his brows as well as the mug to his lips. "No way." You smiled. "Charity work is good for karma." "I already have good karma!" Taehyung protested, pretending to be offended. He laughed that trademark warm laugh that was like a smooth cackle that somehow always triggered a little firework to go off in your chest. You smiled, looking into your mug as if it'd tell you a fortune. ... you swallowed and looked up. In winter the sun rose late and had begun its voyage above the horizon, painting the sky a bright warm orange tone as it shined in through the window behind Taehyung. No. You didn't have feelings for him. You just felt some post-event shakiness and nerves and for the matter of a fact you finally got your much needed cry. It must just be your chest feeling lighter thanks to the cry. "So, do you have any planes today?" Taehyung asked. "I don't even know what day it is." "Good, I don't have plans either and it's Saturday for your information. But I do have a potential plan and that is, since I'm already here, to spend the day with you unless you have important to do's, which you shouldn't, because you need a break." He whispered towards the end. "A fmnn break." He repeated, biting his lip on the word to censor himself, but he got his point across. "A break would be nice... but when I try, I feel distressed as if I shouldn't be doing it because I'm wasting my time. I need-" "A distraction" Taehyung filled in. You nodded. "Then thou shall sit here and watch my live-in-action cooking show live from your kitchen." He said cheerfully, slapping his hands to his thighs as he stood up. "Do you have strawberries?" He asked. "In the freezer." "Yes!" He made his way to the kitchen, worth to mention is the open floor plan of your apartment so you could see him well enough from where you were seated. The soft messy curls on his head bounced with him as he walked. He dramatically pointed at you with a spatula in his hand. "Welcome." He said, speaking deeply into the spatula. "The pancake and strawberry smoothie extravaganza extraordinaire show with your host." He point his thumb and index under his chin. "Kim Taehyung." His goofiness never failed to bring a smile to your face. He went to grab his phone on the sofa table. "I need background music...." he hummed as he scrolled, spatula still in his other hand. "Jeopardy music 10 hours?" He looked up at you for an opinion. "Please no." He giggled and a calm upbeat song started playing from him phone as he put it back down and resorted to the kitchen. While frying up the first batch he was spaced out, humming on the theme tune to jeopardy anyway. You had made yourself comfortable on the sofa, lying down. The sofa smelt like him now. The same sweet comforting scent as the hug had... and his coat the numerous times he'd wrapped it around you when it was cold or shielded you from the rain with it. But speaking of memory, thinking back at those often occurring times you were also reminded about how a previous "friend" used to try and provoke you into being nervous and shy in Taehyung's presence. You'd been close for years and maybe she had an issue with that or something but she'd always find ways to tease you in way. Claiming Taehyung was giving you "looks" or "checking you out" in ways she as a self-declared expert in men deemed were of more than friendly nature. And since she as expert of men by that likely thought all men were the same, proves how reliable of a source she was. Taehyung he just.... you were close. She just wanted to make you feel embarrassed and self-conscious and make it awkward between you. You hated thinking about that. It made you overthink and feel awkward. Like an evil loop. You looked up at the breakfast chef, catching his eye as he quickly looked back down to the pancakes. You could get used to this view. Handsome man in boxers and sweater making you pancakes when you’re feeling blue, the headline in your head spelled out. The Zen experience of the kitchen fan being turned off brought stillness and Taehyung emerges with a plate of pancakes, disappearing and re-appearing again after denying your offer to help with the strawberry smoothies, plates, forks, knifes and every suitable pancake topping he had been able to locate in your kitchen. And a tube of mustard as a joke that you only kept in your fridge for when your dad came over to dinner and his weird obsession with having mustard on everything. It was probably even expired. "Enjoy your meal." "You're my hero Taehyung." You said, stabbing a pancake. "I can be your hero baby." You froze. "What?" "Haven't you heard that song?" He smiled. Oh.. "Hero? By Enrique Iglesias?" "Ah, now that you mention it-" "With the weird music video were goes on this road trip with the girl and then he's suddenly rubbing money over her body in this random stone house." "Is this what you binge on youtube at 2am when I wake up to 15 links and emotional texts." "Do not judge me!" You giggled. "I'm not, I like waking up to those texts from you. You sent them to me for a reason." Taehyung smiled shyly. "Yeah... anyhow! I have a suggestion, a proposal, a-" "Go on" "Since I'm your hero, but even I weren't. I thought maybe I could stay here a few days? Only if you want me to, of course. I just-" he became shyer. "I like to think that you seem to feel better when I'm around and you're going through a rough time so I'd like to be there for you, like you are for me." Your heart made its presence in your chest known yet again. "You should think.... because it's true." "So?" "It'd be nice." He smiled widely. "Great! But I do need to go home and pack some clothes and... some pajamas and Yeontan! He is a great comforter trust me, he has cheered me up many times when I've cried." "Cried? What were you crying about?" "Oh- uhm it's nothing, it's ok now so." He swatted it away. "Boys cry too." He joked, but it tasted weird. "But he's staying with my parents this weekend, but if you want I can go pick him up." He suggested. "It's ok, he needs time with his grandparent." Taehyung chuckled. "Well they love their grandson so I'm sure they wouldn't mind having him stay an extra day or two." -- You couldn't help but feel bad that Taehyung had to sleep on the sofa... His bag with clothes and necessities was placed in the hallway and the covers neatly hung over the backrest. "We could take turns and sleep in the bed every other day." "I told you it was fine." Taehyung insisted, again. "I just feel bad..." "Then let’s both sleep in your bed and call it even." "...." your cheeks felt hot. "See, so I'll sleep on the sofa. Don't worry about it!" What does he mean "see"? ... you were simply imagining what excuse to use as to how your head would coincidentally end up on his chest instead of your pillow. "Or we'll both sleep on the sofa, but it might be a bit cramped." He continued. "Maybe this was a bad idea..." "Hey no! No, I'm just joking. Don't feel bad ok." Taehyung's hands smoothed down your arms. "Beds are better at healing wounds on the feet too." You exhaled deeply. "Oh TaeTae..." "Doesn't this feel like we're having a pajama party or sleep over?" He smiled. "Kinda, should we build a blanket fort and watch movies?" His mouth dropped open. "I'm just kidding!" You laughed He pouted. "Oh you want to?" A nod. "You want to build a fort and watch movies?" You asked with more excitement. More enthusiastic nodding. You both cracked up laughing on the sofa together. "I'm serious though." Taehyung grinned. -- You lied awake in your bed, eyes to the ceiling. For some wild reason you both thought it would be a great idea to binge through the entire twilight saga series as a source of comedy but you only made it up to half-way through eclipse when it became too much to handle for both of you. The first movie was easy to mock and laugh at and make fun out if but once it got more serious and romantic in new moon it started getting a little awkward. To say the least, feeling flustered from watching twilight but not due to the movie itself but from the presence of Taehyung right next to you in your make-shift sofa blanket fort. You couldn't stop thinking about him. And he was out there... on your sofa, right now. And who knew if he was in cute polka dot pajamas with his hair a mess on the pillow or his tight fitted boxers and his hair tied up.. You bit your lip, crossing your legs at the visual. You remembered the first time you witnessed Taehyung tie his hair up and how it felt like being punched in the gut. It's not possible to be that attractive. "Then aren't you attracted to him?" The voice echoed in your head. Just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean you're attracted to them! Which is very much true. But Taehyung's personality was attractive too which was harder to justify the same way. And his person. And him. The entire package. You sighed. Maybe the stupidest thing you could do right now was reach for your phone and google "do I have feelings for my best friend?" Ah yes. A quiz. Maybe it wasn't so stupid after all, it'd say maybe you like him but you're not into him at the very most. Question 1, do you find them attractive. Well who wouldn't? And like mentioned it doesn't mean you're attracted to him. Yes. Question 2, do they like you? Pfft... what kind of question is that? How would you know? I don't know... or yes I guess? I mean he clearly likes you as a friend or he wouldn't be up to making all this effort for you but do they mean platonically? You ticked maybe. Question 3, Do you stalk them on social media? What the??? He's your best friend! The algorhythm shoves his posts in your face weather you like it or not. Sometimes. Question 4, Do you see them a lot? Yes. Question 5, Do you want to know more about them? You already know everything ... but what he cries about to Yeontan is something. Yes. Question 6, when you see them with somebody else who isn't considered their friend, how do you feel? Jealous. Question 7, when they're around you how do you feel? Nervous or self-conscious or nothing or i don’t know... well nervous AND a little self-conscious depending on the situation and if he's dressed or in just his boxers. Nervous. Question 8, Do you think about them? Yes. Always. Question 9, Do you laugh at their jokes? Another weird one but yes. Question 10, are they your ex? Huh? No. Definitely. A lot. You placed your phone screen down on your chest and let out a sigh. Maybe visualizing a kiss or two while in the shower was a crime after all... or was the question why were you in the first place? He was amazing in every type of way and you wanted to know if he was amazing at kissing too andmaybeinbed but you can't just ask him that or try it out, so you had to resort to imagination.... Who were you even trying to convince at this point? You liked him. Definitely. And a lot. The realization did nothing to help you fall asleep unfortunately. Another 15 minutes in dark silence passed when you suddenly heard the floorboards squeak. Maybe Taehyung was going to the bathroom or grabbing a glass of water... But the soft pats of his feet should've stopped by now... Your half open door pushed open a bit more shyly and Taehyung peaked in. Dressed in pajama bottoms, but no shirt. "You're awake." He said, whispering. "So are you." "I can't sleep..." he rubbed his arm. "I feel lonely." As if you'd deny him looking all shy and vulnerable in your door. You scooted to the side in your bed, making raise his brows in hope and anticipation, fingers fidgeting. "Come." You said, patting the bed next to you. The bed dipped gently as he lied down and you put the covers over him. He shifted onto his side, placing his head on your pillow. This was better. But since you just took an online quiz to realize you had feelings for this man currently shirtless in your bed, you couldn’t help but feel incredibly awkward. "How come you're feeling lonely?" You asked, trying to conceal your stiffness "To a start I sleep better when I get to hold something." He said shyly "Who?" You asked, intending for it to be a thought. "When I'm at home, Yeontan." Of course... "He lays on the bed and I feel less lonely and hearing him walk around or do something makes me feel soothed knowing I'm not alone... for the most part." "Are the tears you cry... tears of loneliness?" You could tell it triggered something in him. He bit his lip and nodded gently, eyes glossy. "For the most part it's just me and a pillow." He confessed. "But you could say-... it's something like that, yes." Face to face, mere inches apart. You thanked the darkness of the room that he couldn't see you blush right now but unreasonable fear that he'd somehow "sense" it in the atmosphere still worried you. You shouldn't have taken that stupid quiz it only made you start overthinking and it was probably rigged and the questions were weird so why should you listen to it? Get back to your senses! He's your best friend and you're comfortable with him! Calm down! "... I know it's dumb" Taehyung mumbled. "I know it seems like I'm this easy-going social butterfly with lots of friends who can find someone to hang out with within seconds... but when I'm alone at home, I just feel so empty. Like if nobody sees me, I don't exist. Thus when I'm alone, I'm not real anymore." "That's very philosophical, but what if someone thinks about you while you are alone? Then wouldn't you exist since somebody has you on their mind?" "But it'd be impossible for me to know and people have better things to do than walk around and daydream about me." It stung a little inside hearing him say this. "People are actually capable of multitasking you see, they can do these better things you speak of and think about you at the same time. I think about you a lot, sometimes I think about you while doing the laundry, riding the bus or taking a show- that sound's wrong." Taehyung chuckled. "But you get what I mean." "What do you mean?" He asked "That I think about you and that you aren't alone TaeTae, you never are. If you're ever feeling lonely, maybe think about me. If that helps. Or get to know yourself more, become your own friend or create an imaginary friend!" "I already do that." "Have an imaginary friend?" "Think about you." Oh. "... does it help?" You asked shyly. He shook his head. "It just makes me miss you and want to come to see you." Is it possible to experience a softer heart attack than you just did? Rather than a heart exploding in saw gore-level mess it gently poofed and became a small cloud of red feathers gently falling to the ground. Since when had you become a softie? Two hours ago you were all if there's no sex in the romance novel, it's not worth my time but now you suddenly felt an urge to ransack the romance section of the nearest library to read every cheesy romance story you could find until you could find one similar to your own. Your... own? What? With... with Taehyung? ... not that you’d visualize every male lead character as coincidentally similar to him regardless of how their looks were described in the book.... "Maybe I do need to spend some time with myself to get over it..." No! Stay here with me! "I can spend more time with you." Taehyung looked up. "I think that could benefit us both." He sounded more hopeful now. "Well, you're already here so it's also convenient." Despite the darkness you could make out the smile on his face that appeared. Cute. But wait... did Taehyung suggest he could stay here for you, because he felt lonely? He shifted slightly and the sheets rustled. His leg accidently brushed against yours and your first thought was to tangle your legs with his in a leg tackle war... but you still felt too on edge to act casual and playful with him like you normally could. You swallowed. "How long have you felt this way?" "A while... a long while. At first it was nothing but then it got worse and even more worse when I realized this one thing." "What thing was that if I may ask?" He sighed. "It's hard to explain... but, say a friend." "Mhm?" "A friend feels kinda lost, existentialism and stuff going on, doesn't like to be by himself, then he finds this person and they make him forget it all but once they’re apart it all returns to him again like they were his escape but only for as long as they were together." "Is that only with that one person or all?" "No no, only that person. And then he realizes he might be in love, or he's addicted to the person in a way, but in a good way not an obsessive way just-" "In love?" "Something like that." "You're in love?" "Huh?! What no! This was about a friend! I'm not talking about me!" "Then what did you realize Taehyung?" You could tell his mind briefly blanked in panic. "I realized that maybe I, as said friend need to find that person for me." "A person?" He nodded shyly. "You want to fall in love?" "I don't know... something like that." 'Something like that' seemed to be his catchphrase this evening. But in love? A person? His person?... that couldn't be you... could it? Did he want you to be his person? Were you his person?? The questions and confusion kept spiraling through your head, (finally) making you feel tired and exhausted. "I think... I just want to tend to someone else than myself, to not have to think so much about it and instead take care of somebody else." "Is that why you offered to stay?" "Yes and no, I want to take care of you because I am genuinely concerned and worried about you, I want to be there for you. But also, sleeping on the couch last night, hearing you tiptoe around the kitchen... it made me feel comforted." His voice sounded drowsy. "If you want... I can be your person in this scenario." You suggested. "You've already become.. person." He mumbled, sinking deeper into his half-awake state. -- You stretched your leg out one at the time, twisting your body gently and inhaling deeply into a stretch, gently batting your eyes open. You pushed a palm against the bed to get up into a seated position when something suddenly restrained you, heavy over your abdomen. Surprised, you raised the sheet to see the reminder of what you had forgotten last night. Over your waist, a lean arm with faint thin dark hairs and a few subtle veins travelling up the forearm from the large hand clung to the side of your waist... all attached to the source of warmth to your left, Taehyung. His dark locks a mess on the pillow, his bare upper body now fully on display in the daylight and his polka dot pajama pants haven travelled down a bit too far low for your sanity... Cursed be the eyes in your skull for travelling down the view. You would've noticed it sooner or later regardless, especially since your thigh was  a hair between touching it. It, being the weird relief of knowing he got some deep relaxing sleep in... but with an awkward morning surprise... and his arm wouldn't grant you freedom without you accidentally or intentionally having to wake him up. You carefully shifted to at least have your thighs at a safer distance, but your bed wasn't intended for two people, so it was easier said than done. His grip suddenly tightened and a low groan escaped him as he shifted. Why did you feel fear as if you shouldn’t be present in your bed in which he entered himself. If anyone Taehyung should be the one fearing his life right now. His thumb caressed your side gently and it felt nice... soothing. Until his eyes suddenly opened wide with a soft gasp as you felt his morning hard on grace against your thigh. Eyes that pleaded and begged you didn't notice pierced into yours and you decided to play along. "Did you sleep well?" His hand quickly retreated to your disappointment. "Sorry i... I did it in my sleep it wasn't-" "It's ok, you said you sleep well holding something and being held didn't feel too bad..." "Well, in that case, I actually slept better than I have in a really long time." He said, voice raspy and deep still. He rolled onto his back, thankfully, and placed his hand behind his head. "Did you?" "Huh?" "Did you sleep well?" "In fact, I did." You said, answering truthfully and resisting the urge to put your head on his bare chest. If only the lord or whoever would stop testing me... "Hungry?" He asked. You nodded. "Great, I'll fix something ok, but close your eyes." "Why?" "I'm shirtless." ... right. You covered your eyes with your hands and the warmth left your side as he got up and escaped the room. You slowly got up, trying to win some time for him but a few brief seconds later heard the sound of the bathroom door down the hall closing and locking. Yikes. That went smoother than expected. You set up some tea, knowing Taehyung described coffee as the closest to unlethal poison you could find, you knew he'd prefer tea or hot chocolate and that there was no use to ask. You knew him too well. It was nice having him here. And waking up with a strong arm around your waist wasn't too bad either... if only you could've let yourself enjoy the moment instead of freaking out, what if he grew cautious now and you'd never experience it again? You sighed softly, grabbing two mugs from the cupboard. After a while, the kettle clicked and you poured some water into each mug. It had been a while now... ... was he meditating in there? There was no sound of the shower, or anything, not that you were listening. Would it be weird if you asked if he was ok? Since the kettle was off the entire apartment became significantly more silent. You heard a faint mumble. "Fuck..." You swallowed. Ear please momentarily turn off, mind and imagination too please. You reached to put the kettle back on but since the water was already hot it clicked off again after 5 seconds. The bathroom door opened and you braced yourself to not look down. Luckily, he was now wearing his oversized sweater or else you would've failed immediately. He let out a soft chuckle. "I spaced out." His cheeks were flushed red and glowing. Right. "I made you some tea." -- Why were deep topics always easier to talk about at night? Were people like clams? You wake up and it opens a little and once we hit the night the clam is fully open and then closes during sleep to a new no-talk-me-I-not-have-tea-yet to ask-me-about-how-i-view-existentialism cycle? Or were nights just vulnerable with the darkness? In that case you should metaphorically speaking be an open clam all day during winter when the sun goes into its own hibernation. But here you were again, just like last night, except... 20 minutes into the sudden power outage that made your impromptu movie night come to a halt. And it was getting really cold. Bundled up under a cover together, staring at the flicker of the candle on the coffee table in silence. "I was going to offer to make you tea to warm you up but the kettle..." Taehyung said with a soft chuckle. "The power will probably come back any moment soon." He said optimistically. As you looked out of the window earlier, you noticed it wasn't just your place, but the entire block seemed to have an outage. Unusual. But the current roaring rain storm outside likely had something to do with it. The wind was aggressive, the windows shook, it whistled in a creepy way and the trees outside rustled loudly. "How about we play a game?" Taehyung suddenly suggested, breaking off the silence again. He was feeling awkward, you could tell. He always rested his hands in his lap, fidgeting or poking at the cuticles of his nails when he felt awkward. "Sure, what should we play?" His face lit up. "Questions and answers? I can start!" "Shoot!" You folded your legs and shifted to face him on the couch. "What's your ideal type." ... he... immediately went there. "Looks or personality?" Taehyung shrugged. "Both." "Well it depends on the vibe they give off of course... and mainly. I guess tall, but it's not that important, wide shoulders are always nice." You paused to think, how can I describe Taehyung without it sounding like I'm describing Taehyung. "Funny, caring, optimistic, outgoing..." "Like me!" He smiled widely. You leaned back, squinting while caressing your chin, examining him playfully. "Hmmmn" He placed his hands under his jaw, like he was displaying his face and batted his eyelashes. "Not bad, not bad." He looked disappointed. "Just not bad?" You playfully nudged his arm. "It's your turn to answer. "Fine." He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest but cracking a giggle. "I'll ask you the same question." "Very original, you." "It's called recycling, so tell me." "I did." "Huh?" "You." Your heart froze briefly before beginning to pound. "Me?" "Mn!" He said confidently. "You're not bad" he mocked. You swallowed. "I have a question about the rules." "Go on" "If I ask you anything, do you have to tell the truth?" "Yes! Nothing but. So you better tell me what you actually think rather than 'not bad'" "Is the friend you talked about actually you? And am I the person?" He tensed up, swallowing. "I guess it was obvious..." he mumbled, rubbing his arm and looking down at his lap. "I just..." he began, but reluctance interrupted him. "I understand." You said. He looked up, seemingly surprised yet still tensed "I make you feel less lonely." He nodded slowly. "Which makes sense. After all we're best friends." You continued. "... right." He looked away. "Best friends." Taehyung reached up to move his hair away from his eyes, still facing down as if he was considering something. "So... what do you think of me?" His voice sounded more serious. Where to start of course he was gorgeous! Wide shoulders, a build you'd die to slide your hands down, dark big eyes, a sweet smile with plump lips, sculpted perfectly and his honey skin. Person wise... he was someone you'd want to have as your person. "A nice person" He scoffed. "Seriously?" He seemed upset. He finally looked up, meeting your gaze. There was a sparkle in his eye. The warm light from the candle made his face glow even more. "I mean person as in the person you have, a your-person" "A nice your-person?" He tilted his head. "You told me yesterday in bed that you can feel like someone is your person because they bring you comfort and make all your problems go away and you feel better just by being in their presence! A nice that-type-of-person." "But I was talking about you!" He pleaded "And now I'm talking about you." "You are my person, what do you mean?" He asked, placing emphasis on "my" "That you're my person too. Am I being unclear?" "No, not at all. I just wanted to hear you say it." "So you tricked me?" You scoffed. "Not really." He leaned closer. "But maybe I set you up and you simply walked into my trap." "So now what? We're just going to sit here in denial over the fact that we both admitted to being each other's person?" You questioned, feeling slightly panicky and picking at your nails. Was this platonic or not? "We don't have to" he grinned. "But to be clear, I'm not talking about you being my person as in my other half, my best friend type person, even though you are that too bit this isn't it." "Are you trying to tell me that you're in love with me?" He tensed up again. Fuck it. "Then just say it, stop confusing me with your riddles and metaphors and I won't do the same. Just tell me-" His hand pressed against the back of your head as he leaned in almost all the way. He caressed the back of your head gently and your gaze dropped to his soft pink lips with the tiny freckle to the side. You leaned in close enough to brush a gentle touch before Taehyung pressed you closer for your lips to finally collide. It started off desperate yet a little shy. You pressed back, grabbing at his sides and the kiss deepened. Your heart was pounding. Never did you expect he'd just go for it and kiss you when you showed some bold courage towards him but you didn’t have a slightest regret because he tasted so good against your mouth. His plump pink lips so passionate, so needy but also so gentle and triggering an explosion in your chest. Taehyung leaned over you, making you lay down on the couch as he crawled on top and it turned into an even wilder heated make out. Your hand tangled into his hair, his hand rubbed against the side of your waist under your top. Fearing it'd be the first, last and only, you wanted every single piece of this moment you could have. Unintentional, his touch triggered a soft moan to escape your throat, which subsequently triggered a groan from Taehyung. Making a sound like that with his voice should be illegal. It did things to you, things you didn't want to confess. But the box of secret confessions was torn open within seconds as Taehyung, a heavy breathing mess suddenly pulled away from your lips and landed by your ear, exhaling deeply. "Fuck, I'm hard." He groaned and you knew the box was flying out the windows with your filthy confession floating aimlessly around for him to hear but all you managed to stutter out was a choked "huh?" "If you knew how long I've wanted you for." He whispered. "How scared I've been of being rejected because I knew it'd shatter me." The hopeless romantic you knew he was made his attendance known. "A friend?" You chuckled. "Maybe I set myself up with that one, I admit. But I was hoping you'd catch on." He chuckled, still breathless. He planted a kiss against your neck. Were you about to have sex? Would it lead to that? Did you mind? Certainly not... Taehyung pushed up slightly, looking down at you. "May I?" You nodded and he smiled widely, pressing a kiss to your lips. Shifting, he easily found his place between your thighs and grinded up against you slowly with pressure, causing both of you to exhale into a sweet needy moan. Your feelings felt scattered all over the place but this wasn't the time to pick them up. You wanted to let go, to surrender, just for this moment. Let go of everything clawing at your back, clouding the sunny skies and draining you. There is nothing more exhausting than smiling pretending everything is ok while whatever inflated issue in beast form is clawing its nails across your back and the scars sting like lemon juice was just rubbed all over you, feeling disgusting and sticky, let alone in pain and with a sore back from the held tension. He grinded again, sensually this time as the tip of his nose travelled up your neck, inhaling your sweet scent. "Mmm" he hummed softly. Your hand made its way to his nape as he settled by your neck. "I could fall asleep here." He chuckled. "Right here in your neck, it's so warm and smells so nice. It's more effective than lavender." "Are you enchanted by my odor?" He laughed his trademark bubble laugh. "I wish you knew how much fun you are." He squeezed you, rubbing up firmer to you with a desperate grunt. "Fuck I can't take it anymore." He stood on his knees, crossing his arms in front of him and grabbing the hem of his sweater, pulling it up and off, exposing his soft skin and toned chest as it fell to the floor. His hand reached for the button on his pants but before making it to the zipper his attention returned back to you with his hands sliding up under your top and pulling it up over your head. "I just want to make sure again... is it ok?" He asked, eyes big. "Yes, touch me, kiss me, do whatever you want just don’t leave the couch. At least not without me." He smirked at this, finally able to surrender to his greed. Taehyung reached for the waistline of your pants, unbuttoning, unzipping and pulling them down your hips with your underwear going off with them. His fingers softly rakes over your skin as he travelled down your legs, your hips lifted to assist him and then they were tossed onto the floor. He reached for his own zipper again but you sat up, quickly swatting his hand away and reaching for it yourself. He was on his knees between your thighs. You pulled them down, sliding your hands over his soft curved hips, revealing his tight fitted boxers with little to any space left for his hard on. You swallowed. He blushed. Relieved that Taehyung took over the lead again you lied back down as his hands gently pushed you back, slipping the bra straps off your shoulders and reaching behind you to unhook and free you from your final piece of clothing. But with this one he wasn't in a rush. He slowly tugged at the lacey fabric, revealing your chest to him as he bit his lip. "Wow." He mumbled and his patience was gone. One hand grabbed your left boob, feeling it and squeezing it softly as the other slipped into his boxer to touch himself. He whimpered, seemingly trembling as a result of his desperation and the discomfort he must be feeling in those tight pair of... he let go of your boob, quickly pulling his boxers down and himself out. You felt your core twist and ache and his boxers joined the pile of clothes on the floor. Taehyung fell forward onto all fours on top of you. Fully exposed, fully erect and a full sight to take in in the dim light in the dark. Distracted and eyes travelling all over him, his hand suddenly cupped your chin, tilting it up for you to face him. His nose graced over yours in a sweet eskimo kiss before his lips, just as gently pressed to yours. Taehyung's hand slid down your neck, your chest and down until he found himself. Your toes curled as you felt his touch where you wanted him the most in this moment, the tip of him slowly sliding up and down your slit, triggering your need even more. Taehyung let out a shaky exhale. His lips were parted and eyes staring right down at your exposed curves. He positioned himself, slowly sliding the tip in, just to feel... just to get some urgent relief... he leaned his head back and his hands landed a tight grip of your waist. He couldn't take it anymore. Slowly and carefully he began to push. Making sure by studying your every expression that he wasn't hurting you and that it felt good. A sweet whimper escaped you, causing him to grin in delight as he pushed in deeper. He was thick... the gentle stretch he caused felt amazing and you couldn't stop yourself from clenching around him, making him moan and managing to make you even wetter just by the sound. With a soft grunt he slipped in all the way. Giving you a moment to adjust to his size, he moved his hand up to caress your cheek with the back of his hand. His touch felt like magic. Like a gentle feather smoothing over your cheek, but slender and strong, with long dainty beautiful fingers. You leaned into his touch. "Does it feel ok?" He whispered. You gave a reassuring nod. He pulled his hips back and thrusted back in, not too soft and not too hard he picked up a slow but deep rhythm for his movements. Your hands felt their way up and across his back, studying every curve and where he naturally flexed as he moved. His hands were firmly holding you in place at the waist, every desperate exhale and every shaky inhale sending almost an ASMR like tingle down your spine via your ear until your name suddenly slipped his lips. Most people feel a fuzzy like feeling inside hearing their proper name be called but this... this was unlike no other time. His deep voice, following a whimper, exhaling your name like a magic spell and it fading into a shiver-causing moan. To put it simply it was the sexiest thing you've ever heard and it activated a whole new part within you that felt foreign but so so so good. Like your blood had suddenly turned into liquid gold, all happy hormones releasing in a firework spelling the world "nothing else matters" in an imaginary sky. You wrapped your arms tighter around him, moaning his name out felt liberating. And it clearly triggered an equal reaction. His cheeks were already flushed and his eyes went wide. He smirked, growing more desperate, fucking your harder and deeper, chasing release. "Please cum for me." He whispered, pleading. "Please." He didn't need to place a formal request, you were already loosing yourself. The only sound echoing in the darkness being the roaring wind and rain along with your breaths and groans and the sound of his hips and your thighs. Wet, heavenly sounds to you. His sweet moans, his broad back, his dick... everything about him made you feel euphoric. The ever building tension below, the sweat forming on his forehead... "I'm gonna cum" he whimpered. Thinking your body couldn't possibly react stronger to him than it already was, it did. The thrusts grew faster, grunts louder and you could feel yourself leak even more. Back arching, tension growing... it felt even tighter now... you could feel him so well, every movement until you suddenly came un-done with a loud whimper to his ear, setting him off into his own orgasm, cumming deep inside with a string of "oh"s and groans, gritting his teeth together and tensing his face in a greedy expression. He slowed down to a halt, remaining inside, breathless on top of you. The light on the sofa table had reached its end and the faint scent of smoke filled the air as the flame went out, making the room completely pitch black. Taehyung's face nuzzled softly against your neck, inhaling the scent of you deeply  and being soothed. "Wow." He coughed, followed by a groan. "Wow." You repeated, happy that the light went out so he couldn’t see your flushed face. "You ok?" He whispered, vulnerability present in his voice. "I didn't go to hard right?" "It was amazing." He let out a breath of release and an awkward chuckle. "I'll pull out.." he said shyly, moving his hips back slowly and gently, slipping out. To your surprise, Taehyung climbed off of you, standing on his feet. The cold air made your nipples ache and your skin shiver. You wanted your human blanket and source of heat back. But you didn’t have to wait for long. A pair of strong arms slid in under you, lifting you up with ease. "The sofa is too tiny." He carried you into your bedroom, gently putting you back down on the bed and laying down on his side next to you, pulling you close to his chest where his heart was still pounding hard. He hugged you tight, caressing the back of your head. His lips pressed against the crown of your head gently. "My good girl." He whispered, sounding almost proud. Your cheeks burned and a weird sense to cry bubbled up but you quickly swallowed it and hugged him tighter, burying your face against his chest. Never had you thought being called a good girl, specifically "Taehyung's" good girl would be able to move you to tears. But maybe it's what you needed to hear, mixed with the hormonal serotonin cocktail your body just released upon you. "You'll always have me." He nuzzled his nose in your hair. With a click the power came back on, including your pink hue nightstand lamp next to the bed. Taehyung's cheeks were deeply flushed, amplified by the flattering pink light cast over him. You giggled.   Had this really just happened? Because it felt so right. Or was it just the relief of sex? But masturbating had never made you feel this emotional before... You looked up at Taehyung's face again and he smiled softly, his hand caressing your bare back up and down. It was definitely him.

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

pt.1: the swapping begins

-> 4-fking-am masterlist <-

b:katsuki / f.reader

genre: neighbor au, pro-hero bakugou

warning(s)!!: bakugou's potty mouth (ofc)

status: on-going!

synopsis: you had just moved into your new apartment and like every other college student under the sun, you had the worst sleep scheudle known to man.  due to this, you find yourself playing music through your speakers at 4 am. your neighbor slides you a note under your door about your ‘shitty’ taste in music, thus the note swaps begin.

a/n: the first part has arrived! hopefully, updates on this particular series won't be so drawn out since i'm planning to keep all written parts on the shorter side along with the smau parts being just easier since it's all just dialog LOL (ive done smau in the past for other things but they weren't so hot but hopefully i'm better now lol rip)

-x-x-x-

w.count: 1.3k

-x-x-x-

Why did you decide to go back to school to pursue further education again? If it wasn’t to stress yourself into early grey hairs or to rip out those grey hairs until you were bald, then why?

Collapsing over your desk- textbook open and notes out in messy piles with doodles across every edge and corner from wandering concentration- you groan. Exams were right around the corner, but you couldn’t for the life of you get your brain to focus on one thing- much less multiple things- for more than a couple hours, so studying quickly turned into a failed attempt to study.

Normally, studying wasn’t so difficult for you and you actually found it therapeutic in its own weird way. You enjoyed learning new things and the pride and wholeness you felt after succeeding to teach yourself something new was well worth whatever the process to get there was to you. But, this current college burnout was making all those end results hard to get to.

You glanced at the clock on one of the elevated shelves of your desk, the dimly glowing orange letters showing the time of 3:54 am. You groaned again, pushing your forehead into your written words and definitely smearing pencil lead on your forehead while you were at it. Maybe you’d soak up the words this way and have the knowledge transferred automatically into your brain if you pushed just hard enough.

Another dull and unrelenting amount of minutes pass you by before you officially call it quits for the night. Giving up, you walked to the other side of the room and plopped down on your bed’s edge next to one of your nightstands, your wrist rubbing your forehead to hopefully clear away the mess of leftover lead on it. On this nightstand was your radio and beneath it along the shelves and below the drawer was a collection of CDs.

In a world where albums were digital and everything was Bluetooth compatible and no one carried around a portable CD player anymore, you felt somewhat awkward sometimes at the seemingly large and ridiculous collection of yours. There were still plenty of people with CDs and even vinyls, but still- the awkwardness of your ‘retro’ thinking at your age did make you feel a bit self-conscious; no matter how idiotic it sounded.

You leaned over the bed and down to the bottom shelf cubby and grabbed a thin, plastic album case. Popping it open, the cheap plastic threatened to break and bend as you pushed open the top of your radio and placed the CD inside, shutting it again and turning it on.

A small little baby blue boombox that resembled a sort of bubble-like structure- a late birthday gift from your friends back in your hometown.

You figured if you didn’t absolutely blast your music, it would be fine to play aloud. Plus, you decided to put your bedroom in the backmost room, and the second room closer to the front room of your apartment was used for storage- since renting a storage unit was way too expensive. In your mind, the room closet to the door for a single living tenant would definitely be their bedroom- so you did the opposite when you moved in.

With your legs still handing off the side of the bed, you threw yourself back onto the mattress with your arms out to your sides. You stared at the ceiling of your room, thinking that at some point you’d need to purchase some cheap glow-in-the-dark stars to tack up there just for nostalgia’s sake.

As you heard the radio read the CD in small hums, you shut your eyes and smiled when the first track started. To be honest, you weren’t really pressed for what music you were going to be listening to, so you just kinda pulled from your cubby and popped the CD in without even looking at what you grabbed. You almost laughed when an older album your mom used to listen to started playing.

You weren’t exactly sure how it happened or when, but the next thing you knew, you were staring blankly and tiredly up to your ceiling again. The sun outside had risen and you heard birds, outside chatter, and basic roadside living outside. Even being up on the fourth floor, you could still hear the world below fairly well since you almost always had your window open with a fan inside of it.

Your body was sore from how you were laying on your back with your arms out, and you felt stiff. Legs partially numb from hanging off the bed all morning when you turned to look at your clock on the desk with squinted eyes.

Almost noon.

“God,” you moaned, forcing yourself up and wobbly making a path out of your room and into the kitchen to solve the problem of your severe cottonmouth. Stepping out of your narrow, short hall, you yawned and stopped before stepping into the kitchen when you saw a note at your doorstep. It had been slid under the front door and was face down, small blotches of black bled through to show that the other side had something written on it in marker.

More intrigued with the mysterious note than ready to deal with your dry mouth and throat that demanded water, you trotted to the paper and flicked it up. Your eyes quickly scanned the note and you gasped, slightly slapping a hand over your mouth.

‘Your taste in music really fuckin’ sucks’

Oh my god, someone heard that? Were you too loud? Was it annoying? Who in their right mind has the further room from the door other than you who did it on purpose so that this situation could be specifically avoided? Would you need to move rooms? No, then you’d have your other neighbors slipping you notes or even knocking on your door.

Maybe this neighbor has a roommate and had no choice but to take the room furthest from the door. Would you need to move out now before you died from overthinking the situation?

Racing back into your room, you tore out a sheet of lined paper and a mark erfrom your jar of pens, pencils, highlightser, what have you, and began to write in large letters a note back.

‘I’m so sorry about the noise! I’ll make sure not to play it that ungodly early again! (also, no it doesn’t, my taste in music is fine).’

You felt a little silly putting the added small text at the bottom of the paper in parentheses, but you felt the need to nip this particular neighbor’s opinion about your music in the butt- you boiled the choice down to comedies sake.

Making your way back to your door, you unlocked the bolt and unlatched the chain as you poked your head out. For it being almost the middle of the day, you made sure no one was in the halls before you jogged out your door and to the left. Your room was the furthest left room and they heard it, so clearly it had to be the left side neighbor... right?

Taking one last left-to-right look down the hall, you knelt at the door, pushed your paper under it, and dashed back into your own apartment before locking it back up. You let out a breath, as you pushed your back into the door, feeling awkward and almost embarrassed at the idea of passing notes with your neighbor. Trying to be secretive about it and acting like if someone saw you push a note under their door you’d be looked at strangely.

In a somewhat awkward way, you felt like some weird criminal.

“Whatever,” you shook your head, slapping your hands on your cheeks and heading to the kitchen. Finally ready to get that glass of water you had been craving to soothe your aching throat with. You had other things to get done today anyway. Now that you were awake, better get your day started.

Even if you may have just completely fucked your sleep schedule.

[mangoofthesea]

Whumptober day 2 - Talking is overrated/gagged

Ao3

He can’t breathe

That’s the only thought Katsuki can focus on over the pounding in his ears. There’s a part of his brain that knows its ridiculous, the gag that’s only covering his mouth isn’t impeding his breathing, not like the sludge -

The important thing is it's nothing like that, and he’s holding onto that thought like a lifeline, reminding himself that he’s not there. He isn’t trapped, trying to swallow around the sludge in his throat, his airways are clear, the things restraining him are quirk suppressor cuffs not weird tentacles, the noise around him isn’t terrified heroes standing idly by while he dies, it's a crowd of spectators here to see the sports festival.

Somehow that last thought doesn’t especially comfort him, the weight of their stares making him feel even more trapped as he struggles against the restraints, his body trapped against the block of cement removing his visibility for anyone to come up in his periphery while he’s got his arms pinned to his chest and his hands chained to the floor.

He keeps struggling, unable to pause to think of any kind of other solution through the haze clouding his mind that he wants to claim as anger but as time goes on and the sound of the crowd, loud, raucous and unpredictable, starts to get louder as the medals are handed out for second and third place.

All Might steps up to his podium but he barely hears what he says as he removes the fucking gag over his mouth. He wrestles down the panic threatening to make him useless to scream his outrage, a small part of him enjoying the unsettled looks he manages to catch from some of the people closest to him. If he’s angry then they can’t see how the stress is making his body want to curl into itself, and he can ignore the feeling of his nails biting into his palms underneath the cuffs probably enough to draw blood. He ends up with the medal clenched in his fucking teeth to top off the indignity as he resists the placement of it over his head both out of rejection of an award he feels he hasn’t earned and of the dislike of having something else on him, especially around his neck. His teeth clench on the ribbon and he wishes for a moment he had sharper teeth or a beak like birdhead to be able to snap it entirely.

Everything happening around him feels as though he’s underwater and letting his body go limp against the pillar he’s strapped to deciding to just wait it out now they’ve given him the stupid award he didn’t ask for. Surely that should be enough, can’t he just fucking leave now?

Katsuki continues to glare at the bodies and shapes around him, losing a grasp on exactly who is nearby until there's someone, he can’t really focus on who but he thinks it’s a member of the faculty unlocking the cuffs and giving him some kind of warning about not blowing their head off. He bristles at the comment with what energy he has left; he’s angry but not some kind of crazy murderer. Katsuki’s used to getting comments like that from other students, has been for years, even his mother, but it digs at something inside of him differently coming from one of the UA faculty and he feels his teeth clench harder.

When the straps around his waist are released he feels the floor rushing up to meet him as his knees hit the ground, his numbed arms barely catching him as he tips forward. There’s less noise now and the chatter around him has been reduced to a murmur so he assumes some of the crowds have left and most of the other students have been shuffled back to the classrooms or changing areas, wherever they’re supposed to go after. The part of his pride that hasn’t been shattered by the last hour is grateful that his audience for this showing of weakness has been reduced from the previous level of spectacle, but that part isn’t spared much thought over the rest of his mental efforts to regulate his breathing and convince his body it would be great if it could get up from the fucking floor right about now and follow the rest of the extras wherever they’re going.

Instead he stays on the floor, arms shaking slightly and feeling like they might be close to giving out going by the way the ground might be inching closer. Face-planting into the floor would just cap off this shit show of an award ceremony.

Before that can happen though the air beside him shifts alerting him to another presence a second before the hand appears in the side of his periphery, moving slowly and cautiously to reach towards his shoulder without actually touching him.

Katuski’s eyes dart to the side to look at the hand and catch the eye watering flash of red hair broken up by the white bandage across it and a tiny part of him is soothed by the familiarity.

“Bakugou? You doing okay there bro? Is it cool if I touch you?” Kirishima’s voice is as cautious as his movements, possibly more so. When he doesn’t respond, choosing instead to keep his focus on that stupid red hair rather than make eyecontact, the hand doesn’t move. It stays hovering between them as the sound around them begins to soften further as more people leave. Then Kirishima is looking around at someone else that Katsuki can’t see. Distantly, he notes that while his arms, along with the rest of him, still feel weak there feels like there is less of a chance of him collapsing further than he already has.

He forces himself to look up and stabilize his position with more weight on his legs so he’s not so vulnerably situated on his hands and knees, nearly kissing the floor not two minutes ago. He grunts in acknowledgement enough to show he’s listening but not back to himself enough yet.

It's then the extra person present comes forward more into his line of sight and it's the purple haired one with almost Aizawa level eyebags. He looks cautious, like he's not sure if he will get out of the situation without being blown up.

Still, he comes to sit on the floor beside Kirishima, poised enough to know he’s not relaxed but trying to look it, as he addresses him..

“You’re alright Bakugou, you just need to breathe. You’re safe, remember?"

He wants to object to the cautious tone, especially from this fucking extra. But there's an understanding he sees in his face and his demeanor is calmer than Kirishima's. The overall effect has made him able to think better.

Something unlocks in his muscles and he swallows, mouth suddenly feeling dry. He blinks, turning his eyes back to the ground in front of him.

“Everything’s fine, Bakugou,” Kirishima now, moving slowly to be a few centimeters closer before putting his hand back to be hovering a short distance away from his shoulder. When did he remove it last time?

“Is it cool if I touch you, bro?” Katsuki dips his head in an approximation of a nod and the hand comes down on his shoulder, warm and solid and just resting there without gripping the fabric or pushing on him. It gives him a point to focus on, zoning in on the feeling enough to start taking stock of the rest of his body and the way it feels sore and tired.

He sees Kirishima’s lips quirk up slightly and feels the rush of air as the other boy sighs slightly. “That’s great bro,” the hand on his shoulder starts rubbing small circles with his thumb, “try and breathe now okay? Take a couple deep breaths in,” he breathes in, “and out."

He wants to protest, he's not some kind of idiot, he knows how to breathe, but the words don’t come the way they normally would and he instead finds himself copying the movements, breathing in through his nose, the air filling his lungs more than the shallow breaths he had been taking up to that point. After a couple breaths, it’s like the rest of his brain wakes up and he starts to register the absence of noise around them, the solid and rough ground under his hands and the slight throb to his knees from when he dropped on them. He also feels the ache in his jaw and lessens the clench of his teeth, noticing the feeling of fabric, wet with saliva and still in his mouth. The feeling is enough to make him grimace but he doesn't spit it out, unable to coordinate that far.

A few breaths more and he moves his weight off of his less numb but still exhausted arms to pull his weight back to sit completely on his heels. Only then is he able to pull the medal’s string from his mouth and toss it away, not caring where it goes.

He glances over to purple hair who for some fucking reason decided to stick around after the ceremony for his little...whatever that was. He hates how the scrutiny is making his face heat.

“The fuck do you want insomniac?” His voice comes out scratchier than he had intended but he pushes on, “thought you’d stay for the show or what,?” Katsuki spits.

He thinks he catches a wince from Kirishima but Insomniac just shrugs. “Thought your friend could use a hand was all,” he pushes to his feet, “but looks like you’ve got things handled now.” He dusts off his suit and turns to wander away with his hands in his pockets, calling back in that low monotonous and fucking annoying drawl. “I’ll see you guys around. Good show today, 1-A.”

Bakugou watches him go, scowl slipping back into place far more comfortably than the rictus glare he had been holding for the award ceremony and afterwards, and scoffs, but doesn’t call after him.

He catches Kirishima looking at him, all dopey puppy concerned eyes but the skin around them less pinched than a few minutes ago.

“You okay, Bakubro?”

The hand that had been on his shoulder has slipped off at some point, probably when he sat up, and he finds himself trying to ignore the warm imprint he can still feel a ghost of that makes him wish it was still there.

“Fucking fine, shitty hair. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Kirishima’s expression doesn't change or go into that offended huff people normally would at that type of response before either backing off or leaving. Instead all the change he gets is a single shoulder raised in a shrug.

“You just came out of what looked like a kinda rough panic attack is all I-”

Katsuki feels himself bristle. “The fuck do you mean panic? I was fine!” Even as he says it he knows that’s not true, but he’s choosing to ignore that for now.

Kirishima just leans back slightly, apparently not phased by his reaction. Katsuki tries to hold onto the fact that was how Kirishima generally always responds to him and this reaction isn’t down to him thinking him weaker now. Even though that's how it overwhelmingly feels.

Kirishima had said it was a panic attack, was that really what it had been? He files that away to either think about or not later, focusing for now on getting out of this with as much of his dignity intact as he can.

“Okay man, okay, I was just checking. I mean I get it, I’d hate being all tied up like that in front of everyone too. It’s okay if it sorta freaked you out.”

“I didn’t freak out-!” He pushes himself to his feet on unsteady legs, trying to disguise his wobble with a step forwards like he’s going to come at Kirishima. The redhead just looks startled at the sudden movement, raising his hands in a gesture which is probably meant to look placating but the way they’re reached slightly towards Katsuki he feels that he’s preparing to help him balance if he needs it.

The gesture simultaneously annoys him and makes him feel fragile in a way he doesn’t want to deal with right now. He’s blaming it on that fucking panic attack or whatever it was because he’ll be fucking fine if he can just have ten minutes to get his head together not in front of some overgrown and over muscled teenage puppy that he can’t bring himself to hate. Looking at Kirishima’s patient but cautious expression still in place he finds most of the fight goes out of him, which he blames on the amount of exhaustion from today hitting him, not because he can't be mad in the face of such calm patience.

Katsuki sighs and looks around them, finding the stadium around three quarters empty with some of the people still filing out or sitting in the seats talking, and then spots one of the teachers in the distance towards the exit watching them, by the look it might be Aizawa but he can’t be sure. Otherwise the field is empty except for them, all the other students shepherded off. He looks back to Kirishima who has now stood and meets his eyes briefly before looking away to a point somewhere past Kirishima’s head.

“Thanks for sticking around I guess,” he mutters quietly, “bet you only did it cos you didn’t want to walk back by yourself or something, Shitty Hair.

He looks back to see a tentative but no less bright grin pulling at Kirishima’s mouth, revealing his shark teeth.

“Ah you know me, Bakubro, it’d be no fun walking all the way back to school without my best bro!”

He’s more grateful than he expects at Kirishima’s ready agreement to his excuse that they both know is fake. Instead of saying anything else he grunts and nudges Kirishima with his shoulder. Then he starts the walk agross the field to where Aizawa is waiting without a backwards glance to that stupid fucking medal he knows is still on the floor where he’d thrown it.

Kirishima falls into step next to him and they don’t speak for a moment, but before they can reach the exit, Kirishima murmurs something else to him that has him nearly skipping a step from it’s sincerity.

“It was out of line for them to do that when you just didn’t want to accept the medal, they didn’t need to tie you up.”

It’s said with an undertone of heat and quiet enough Katsuki's not entirely sure he was meant to hear, despite it addressing him directly. His eyes dart to look at Kirishima momentarily but he’s just looking straight ahead, likely trying to let him pretend he didn’t hear him if he wants to. He thinks about doing just that, but the words had felt like a vindication, one that he didn't know he wanted until it was spoken.

It's that that makes him not want to let it go without acknowledgement so he simply sets his jaw and grunts, tipping his next step to the side enough that his shoulder brushes Kirishima’s.

The tiny smile in his periphery makes it feel worth it.

[rocorambles]

Redemption

Pairing: Ushijima x Reader

Genre: NSFW, Fluff and Smut

Warnings: Slight Size Kink

Summary: When you find out Ushijima is a virgin, you offer to be his first and help him out. But in reality, you might be the one who needs some help.

Requested by Anon

There’s a comfortable quiet atmosphere between the two of you as Ushijima hands you a clean towel while you pant for breath. Technically speaking, there’s no reason why the two of you need to be together today on one of the few days the Schweiden Adlers had off, but you had a soft spot for the pro-athlete, so when he had asked if you wanted to go workout together at the team training gym, you agreed. You couldn’t deny you needed some exercise. Being a team manager didn’t mean you worked out much yourself, so you looked forward to sweating some extra calories. But you really should have known better than to expect just a normal workout with Ushijima sternly overseeing your routine. 

“Ushijima, you do realize I’m not a pro-athlete like you, right? You can’t expect me to keep up with you.” 

“Anyone can do anything if they set their minds on it and work hard enough.” 

You roll your eyes before fondly looking at the tall man beside you. Was he a little dense and a little too blunt? Sure. But you saw the heart of gold and genuineness within him. You’d always wondered why the man was still single. You know he’s sometimes an idiot when it comes to social cues and can’t hold small talk to save his life, but you’d seen far worse and less deserving men end up tricking some poor damsel into their spider webs. Surely you’re not the only one who sees the diamond in the rough that Ushijima really is? 

You don’t realize you’re intensely staring at him until he uncomfortably shifts. “It’s rude to stare.” You blush and quickly turn away from him, opting to chug your water as a distraction. Checking your phone, you gasp when you realize how late it is. “Shit, sorry, I really need to run…” You trail off and Ushijima narrows his eyes at you as a mischievous grin spreads across your face. He’s all too aware that the look doesn’t mean anything good for him. 

“What are you doing tonight?”

There’s a long pause before he grunts out “nothing” and you suddenly seem more intimidating than any opponent he’s faced across the net when your eyes light up and your head moves until it’s only inches away from his own. 

“Cool! So you’re going to a party with me then.” 

He blinks once at you before completely shutting you down with a resounding no. But really, after knowing you and working in such close proximity with you almost every day, he should realize how relentless you are once your mind is made up. 

“When’s the last time you talked to anyone outside of the team, coaches, trainers, and managers? And Tendou doesn’t count since he’s still technically volleyball related.” 

Ok, so maybe you had a point there. 

“We don’t even have practice for the next few days! So you’ll have time to rest up and recover and be totally back to 100% for the next practice.” 

You smile when you see his determined look slip a bit, but your jaw drops at his next words. “I’m not going to a party where you’re just going to ditch me to have sex with someone and then either complain or brag about it to me the next day.” 

You frantically cover his mouth with your hands as you nervously look around to make sure no one around had heard him. “USHIJIMA! I tell you these things because I expect you to keep quiet about them. Not just blabber it out for everyone to hear.” 

He impassively stares at you and you sigh as you remove your hands from his face before determinedly looking at him again. “But actually since you’ve already brought it up, I noticed you never have any spicy stories to tell me! It’s not fair if I’m the one who’s always sharing. When’s the last time you even had sex? It has to be stressful to not let off some steam in a more enjoyable way than volleyball.”  (Although you secretly wonder if Ushijima finds volleyball more pleasurable than sex. You wouldn’t doubt it.) But you squint as he suddenly seems less stoic than usual and...are his cheeks pink? 

“Ushijima, are you embarrassed? I literally tell you about all my sex exploits and you’re embarrassed by me just asking you when the last time you did it was?” Your voice trails off when a suspicion begins to form and your eyes soften as you more gently nudge him. “It’s okay if it’s been a long time. I know how busy you are. It’s not a reflection of you, I promise. But isn’t that more reason to come out with me tonight?” He mumbles something and you lean in, unable to make out the words, but when he repeats them, you freeze. 

A virgin? Ushijima was a virgin? 

You know you should say something instead of just staring at him like an idiot, but shock numbs you and only when he makes a move to get up and leave do you hastily grab his arm. Your mouth flounders as you try to come up with a response, but when you observe how vulnerable and sensitive the topic seems to be for him, your heart goes out to your friend and you shake the lingering surprise from you. 

“Hey, it’s not a big deal. I think it’s kind of sweet actually. Your first time should be special, with someone you really care about. You shouldn’t ever feel ashamed about the fact that you haven’t done it. Hell, I wish I hadn’t been so quick to lose my virginity to some asshole in college.” 

You smile when you see his shoulders straighten and maybe it’s the slight upturned twitch of his lips or maybe it’s the way dark olive eyes glow when they look at you, but you don’t even register the words that come tumbling from your lips until they hang heavy in the air. 

“I could be your first if you wanted.” 

You are a fucking idiot. You scramble to figure out a way to take back those words, already preparing for Ushijima to angrily end any friendship the two of you had, already dreading how you’re going to manage a team when one of the starters hates you. Your mind is reeling so hard from the dark future you’ve painted for yourself in your head that you almost miss what Ushijima says. 

“Okay.” 

Suffice to say, all plans to go to your party fly out the window and you send an apologetic text to your friend. Ushijima and you go to your respective locker rooms to wash up and freshen up before trekking back to your apartment. The walk isn’t uncomfortable per se, but there’s an electric energy radiating between the two of you as you walk silently next to each other. And shit, you’re not the virgin, but why is your heart beating so hard and so fast that you think it might literally explode from your chest? You scowl at yourself as your hands tremble when you unlock and open your front door and when Ushijima’s back is turned to you as he removes his shoes, you mentally slap yourself to get it together. 

With renewed confidence, you firmly grasp his larger wrist and tug him along to your bedroom where you gently push him onto the bed. You take a moment to revel in the power you feel from being in charge of the stronger, larger man underneath you and arousal stirs within you from Ushijima’s submission and willingness to let you have your way with him. It’s the most vulnerable you’ve ever seen him and your heart warms as you lean down to softly kiss him, smiling against his lips when you feel him tentatively reciprocate. Kissing Ushijima feels like what you imagine completing a satisfying day's work on the farm feels like. You can almost taste the sturdiness, the comforting warmth of a fireplace burning as you return from the fields, and the authentic, humble roots on his lips. There’s no frills, no pretenses. It’s purely Ushijima and you love it. 

You think you could spend all night just kissing him if you wanted to, but you remind yourself of tonight’s mission. You trail your fingers down his chest until you reach the hem of his shirt which you begin to roll up until it reaches the top of his torso and he helps you fully remove it. Sitting upright on his thighs, you can feel yourself salivate as you take in the broad expanse of his upper body on display for you. You’ve seen it before, but in the dim light of your bedroom and splayed across your bedsheets, it’s mesmerizing and you can’t help the way you unconsciously run your hands across every inch of taut muscle and kiss random lines across chiseled lines. You smirk when you feel Ushijima’s groin thrust up when you coyly flick a nipple with your tongue and you stare at him as you begin to suck on the hardening bud, drinking in the sight of the usually reserved man letting out breathy moans as you continue your ministrations.

You want to tease him more, coax more sounds out of him, but the feeling of something hard prodding your stomach keeps you moving on and you pointedly tug on the waistband of his pants until he gets the memo and raises his hips to allow you to remove everything until he’s completely bare before you. And any confidence you had built up shatters. 

If you’re entirely honest, you’d had your fair share of wet dreams imagining what Ushijima was hiding underneath his shorts, but when faced with reality that’s somehow even larger than anything you had even dreamt of, you bite your bottom nervously as your pussy clenches at the thought of trying to fit him inside of you. You’re not sure if it’s lust or nerves that has your stomach twisting as you wrap a hand around his impressive girth. Probably both, you think, as your throat goes dry and your thighs squeeze together when you see how your entire fist barely covers less than half of him. 

Your attention is brought back to the man underneath you when you hear a low groan as you stroke your fist up and down his shaft, giving some extra attention to the leaking slit at the tip. Your other hand reaches underneath your panties and circles your clit. You’ll need to be absolutely drenched before you can even think of trying to take him. But it’s not hard for your cunt to become a sopping mess when you stare in awe at the way Ushijima writhes underneath you, releasing low breathy pants and grunts that you can feel rumbling throughout his body. Already feeling a wet spot seeping through your clothes, you affectionately kiss him once more before briefly getting up to quickly strip down. His eyes hungrily devour the sight of your naked figure as you crawl back above him and adjust your position until you feel his tip nudging at your entrance. 

You close your eyes and moan as you slowly lower yourself onto him, but even as wet as you are, you can barely take half of him inside you as he stretches you far beyond any person or any toy has. Yet, despite the discomfort and borderline pain of the stretch, you feel even more of your arousal dripping down your thigh as you continuously lift and lower yourself, always pushing slightly harder, slightly further than where you’d been before. Your eyes roll back from the feeling of being so full and your nails dig into Ushijima’s shoulders as you desperately continue to work his entire length into you. But you reach your limit and you swear you can feel him inside of your womb even though there’s still about a quarter more of his cock waiting to penetrate you. You take a deep breath and exhale as you try to sink further down, but you let out a broken moan when fingers twist and tug your nipples. 

Ushijima intensely observes you as he kneads your fleshy mounds, playing with your hardened nubs until he sees the tiny furrow on your forehead smooth out. He sits up and bends his neck to soothingly kiss you. A primal instinct in him had been entranced at the sight of your much smaller figure struggling to take just a part of him and he had to use every bit of will power he had to not instantly cum at the feeling of your warm and wet walls squeezing around him. But when he saw the hints of pain you tried to push past written all over your face, a desire to make you feel only pleasure had overtaken him. 

He continues running his fingers across your chest as your tongues twist and turn against each other and you moan into his mouth as you reach a hand down to furiously rub against your clit until you feel another surge of arousal and more fluids run down your inner thigh. You guide his hands to your waist before continuing to rub your clit and you urge him to help you as you clash your lips against his once more. But you tear away from his mouth in a silent scream as he grabs you and forcefully pushes you down and down until your lower bodies press tightly against each other, any space between them removed. Ushijima’s eyes are glued to your face and he takes in the way your eyes widen and your jaw drops open as you claw at his arms, leaving angry red trails as your body tries to adjust to literally being stuffed full. He patiently waits until your nails stop their frantic clawing and he drops his forehead to your shoulder with a groan as you begin to rock your hips up and down. 

He can feel the sloppy mess you’re making as you continue to flood the sheets underneath with your seemingly never ending arousal, but he can’t bring himself to care as your pace speeds up until you’re practically bouncing in his lap as you desperately chase your end. You scream when he tightens his grip on your waist and assists you, slamming you down and easily picking you up before slamming you down again, perfectly matching your rhythm until everything blends together and you don’t even know who’s doing what anymore. All you know is the feeling of Ushijima’s cock sliding and pressing against every inch and every crevice of your pussy, filling you so well you wonder if you’ll ever be satisfied with anything else inside of you after this. 

You can’t even bring yourself to feel ashamed by the wanton wail you let out as you reach a higher peak than you’ve ever reached before and your entire body shakes with pleasure as Ushijima continues to lift and lower your body even without any support from you until he harshly pushes you down one last time and holds you still as he releases thick spurts deep inside of you, so deep that even in the haze of your orgasm you’re grateful you’re on birth control because you’re sure he’s coating your actual womb with how far inside he seems to reach. You slump into his chest and let yourself be maneuvered by him until the two of you are lying side by side, facing each other, your lower bodies still intimately connected. 

The two of you lay there for a while and you instinctively nuzzle your face into his chest as his arms tenderly wrap around you, pulling you even closer to him and you both take quiet comfort in the sounds of your heavy breaths filling the air. But when your heart beats slow and your breathing evens out, you cringe in embarrassment. 

“Ushijima, I’m so sorry. This was your first time. I should have been the one taking care of you, but you ended up needing to step in and take charge.” There’s a stretch of silence before you feel one of his arms move and a hand lightly nudges your head up to look at him. Your heart flutters when you see the most gentle smile you’ve ever seen on his face.  

“Wakatoshi. Call me Wakatoshi.”

You see a flash of uncertainty in his usually confident eyes as he hesitantly inches his face closer to yours, but you grin as you meet him halfway and your lips slot against each other like two puzzle pieces perfectly connecting. You close your eyes and relish the peaceful moment for a bit before using the element of surprise and pushing against him until he’s on his back underneath you once more. You playfully clench your pussy walls and smirk at the way he throws his head back and hisses at the feeling. You can feel him begin to harden once more inside of you and when he looks back at you, you shoot a wink his way. 

“Let me redeem myself, Wakatoshi.”  

[interstellarflare]

Bend and Break || Homelander

-PART TWO-

Warnings: Gore, violence, course language, angst.

Summary: People can only bend their morales so far before they break. Homelander is the world’s greatest superhero, and you, a tech analyst, somehow become entangled in his world when he learns that you provide intel to The Boys. He makes it his personal mission to find out exactly what you know, but he never expected such resistance from someone as damaged as you. But broken things can be mended, sometimes in the most unexpected ways possible.

Author’s Note: As a bit of a disclaimer, I have only seen snippets of The Boys. I haven’t actually watched all of it, so forgive me if there are some details that are wrong, as well as the many spelling errors that will undoubtedly be in this series. There is a tag list open for those who wish to be added. Gif by @voughtgifs​

|PART ONE|

Homelander was keeping you on edge. It had been a week since his abrupt appearance at your apartment, and you knew that the fucker was watching you every hour of every day. And you knew that he was contemplating the best way to scare the shit out of you. It was only a matter of time.

The bruise on your forearm remained. It had turned a darkish purple, almost black, which you assumed wasn’t a good sign. But you didn’t care. It still hurt like hell, and it annoyed you to have to wear long sleeve shirts everywhere, but what could you do other than hang out at your apartment wondering when the bastard would show up?

Well, get drunk of course.

Pissed beyond comprehension at a nightclub downtown, you were happy to be somewhere else for the night, escaping the fucked up reality that you now lived in. Downing another shot of vodka, you cringed at the now disgusting taste. The room was swaying, the music was too loud, and the sound of people cheering and laughing happily irked you to no end. But you loved it. It was something different, and you were too drunk to care. “Another round~” You slurred, slamming the small glass onto the bar top with a slight hiccup. The bartender winced, approaching you with a calm expression. “I’m sorry Ma’am, but we can’t serve you anymore, you’ve had too much to drink” he explained, shouting to be heard over the loud music. As you opened your mouth to respond, the crowd behind you began to cheer ecstatically. You sluggishly turned to see what all the commotion was about, feeling your buzz suddenly disappear, slamming you back into a state of mild sobriety as the crowd chanted a chorus of ‘Homelander! Homelander! Homelander!’.

You turned to face the bartender, leaning against the bar top as you slurred “Please, please just one more. I won’t tell anyone”. Hesitantly, the bartender obliged. He handed you one last shot glass, and cringed as you downed the vodka greedily. Just you placed the glass down before you, a shadow loomed over you to your right, the stupid blue suit and American flag cape obscuring your view. “Out of all the places I could find you, I find you here” Homelander shouted, leaning on his elbow against the bar with a taunting smirk. “Fuck off, I was having fun” You snapped in return, feeling a surge of happiness swell inside your chest as Homelander’s expression contorted into one of pure bewilderment. This was only your second meeting, and you had a horrifying feeling that drunk you would likely get you killed. But that small sober part of you was glad that drunk you would say what sober you couldn’t.

Homelander’s eyes narrowed, watching on in annoyance as you abruptly stood up from your seat from the bar. Tipping the bartender for his amazing service, you left the superhero behind and disappeared into the crowd, silently hoping that you would lose him as you left the nightclub. As you stepped outside into the cool night air, you sighed heavily in a mixture of frustration and content. A few moments of silence was all you could savour, as the door to the nightclub opened once more for Homelander to step out onto the street. You could hear his footsteps close behind you as you did your best to put some distance between the two fo you, though it didn’t help that you stumbled occasionally on raised parts of the pavement. “I have to ask, what are you doing here?” Homelander questioned, suddenly appearing in front of you and standing tall with his hands braced on his hips. You groaned, pushing past him as you could see your car down the street “When one has their life threatened by a supposedly beloved superhero, and their life has completely gone to shit, then I think I have a right to have a few moments of self loathing don’t you think?” you retorted, ignoring his scoff as you managed to fish your car keys out of the pocket of your jacket.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Homelander questioned, his tone of voice suddenly changing from cocky and sarcastic to concerned. You rolled your eyes, spinning clumsily to face him whilst throwing your arms out in exasperation “I’m going home, do you have any objections?”. Homelander’s eyes narrowed, his gaze flickering between you, your car, and the keys in your hands. As he stepped towards you, you stepped back, challenging him with a lopsided smirk. You could tell he was growing frustrated with your behaviour, and you enjoyed pissing him off so much. “You’re too drunk to drive-” “My buzz died when you entered the nightclub, so I think I’m sober enough to drive home....” you interrupted, bracing your hands on your hips and mocking his so-called heroic stance “and if I happen to die whilst driving home, it’s not your problem right?”.

Homelander’s expression changed into a deadly glare, his eyes glowing a faint red in anger. He stepped towards you, so close now that you stumbled back against the side of your car with a small yelp. His jaw clenched as he spoke “It is my problem, because you are the only chance I have to find Butcher. If you die, I have to start all over again, and I’d rather not to that”. “Oh, that’s such an inconvenience...” You responded sarcastically, lightly pushing the bastard away from you and turning back to face your car “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m done talking to you and I just want to go home”. Before you could even manage to unlock you vehicle, the keys were snatched from your hand, and you were suddenly lifted up into the supposed hero’s arms. You screamed, thrashing around in his grip. “Put me down you fucking arsehole!” You cried, hitting your hands against his chest whilst completely oblivious to your surroundings.

Homelander stared down at you with a cocky grin, tilting his head to the side with a small shrug of his shoulders before responding “Very well, if you insist”. And then suddenly, you were falling. You barely had enough time to scream, as Homelander’s form in the sky grew smaller and smaller. The wind blew your hair in all directions, and all you could do was gasp as the ground rushed up to meet you. You closed your eyes, bracing for the painful impact before you felt a strong pair of arms wrap around your form. You shrieked, opening your eyes to loud and obnoxious laughter as your found yourself in Homelander’s arms again. Hesitantly, you wrapped your arms around his neck and held yourself closer to him, out of fear that he would drop you again. You buried your head into his chest, not wanting to watch the world fly by as Homelander flew to your apartment. If you weren’t sober before, you definitely were now. Your heart thundered in your chest, and as Homelander gently set you down on the rooftop of your apartment complex, you leapt from his arms and collapsed to your knees. Your stomach churned angrily, the sick feeling growing more intense, and the alcohol didn’t help.

You could feel Homelander’s stare boring into your skull as you grovelled on the ground, as you tried to stop the world from spinning. Eventually, you managed to stand to you feet, bracing your hands on your knees as you swallowed thickly. You could feel the hero’s presence behind you, “There, that wasn’t so hard was-”

Crack!

Homelander stumbled backward as your clenched fist connected with his jaw. His mouth fell agape in shock, his eyes wide in stupor. As his gaze met yours, you stepped forward and pointed an accusing finger at his chest. Your eyes narrowed, practically seething with rage as you growled “Don’t you ever fucking do that again, ever”. Time suddenly slowed down as you realised what had just happened. You had punched him. You had punched Homelander, The World’s Greatest Superhero. “Oh fuck...” you mumbled, ignoring the throbbing pain coursing through your hand. You stood in horrified silence, as the man before you rubbed his jaw in surprise whilst an amused chuckle. If he said anything, you didn’t hear it, as you fled inside the complex and down to your apartment. Once you got inside, you locked the door, not that it would help much, and made a beeline for the small kitchen. You found a bottle of bourbon, half of its contents already gone, but you drank from it anyway. The amber liquid left a pleasant burning sensation at the back of your throat, but your true aim was to get your buzz back. It was better to be numb to everything if Homelander followed you downstairs. 

Whilst punching him in the face seemed like a good idea and an impressive feat, you were certainly regretting it. You downed the rest of the alcohol that remained and turned back to face your living room, a shocked scream leaving your lips. Homelander stood in the centre of the room, his arms folded across his chest as his expression formed a dangerous scowl. “How the fuck did you get in here!?” You exclaimed loudly, your eyes narrowing harshly whilst your grip tightened around the neck of the empty bourbon bottle. The bastard’s expression didn’t change as he responded “Your window is unlocked, you should probably fix that-” “Who the fuck is going to climb down the fire escape to the fifth floor to kill me!? You can fly, so you cheated”. The room fell into a heavy silence as you ran a stressed hand through your hair, your (eye/colour) eyes never leaving his own blue hues. You took a deep breath to try and calm your racing heart as the blue-clad tyrant approached, but it did you no good.

“Look, I’m sorry I punched you. Actually, no I’m not, you deserved it. But if you’ve decided to kill me now then go ahead and do it. But I’m letting you know that I have done everything you’ve asked. No one knows that you’re here, I haven’t told anyone that you’re practically using me as a hostage. The Boys don’t know anything about your random unscheduled visits, so do whatever you want-”

You froze mid-sentence as Homelander’s eyes began to glow, the red hue increasing in brightness. For a brief second, you thought that this was it. That The World’s Greatest Superhero was going to lazer you into oblivion. You tried not flinch as his gaze moved away from you at the last second, instead directed towards the kitchen island bench. You watched on in dread as your phone completely melted into nothing, the intense heat of his heat vision obliterating the metal mass into nothing. As Homelander approached, you didn’t meet his gaze. You could tell that the fucker was revelling in your fear, as he stood only inches away from you. “Next time, that will be you. Maybe you’ll think twice about punching The World’s Greatest Superhero, hm?” he taunted, before disappearing from your view. When you looked up, he was gone. The window to the fire escape was open, the only sign that Homelander had been here aside from the smouldering hole in your island bench.

You sighed heavily, blinking away the tears in your eyes as you trudged into you bedroom. All you wanted to do now was sleep, and forget about everything that had happened. There would be one hell of a hangover in the morning, but you hoped that it would give you something else to worry about than a mad superhero tyrant. 

[hqhunybuns]

hiiii can u plz do a kuroo first time blowjob?? thanks i love your blog!!!!!

hi sorry i was too busy playing animal crossing but im back

First Time Head with Kuroo

It was a bad idea that popped into your head, a terribly devilish thought that you were sure would get you in trouble-- but it was worth a shot, wasn't it? 

You were the Nekoma volleyball team manager, and also the captain's girlfriend. What a wonderful world you live in; the team adored you, your boyfriend thought you were as sweet as sugar. The truth be told, you and Tetsurou had only gotten to first base the entirety of your eight month relationship. You were shy when it came to physical affection, and you had a bad habit of getting too nervous when your boyfriend's hands started wandering further than your shoulders. He was always the perfect gentleman when you had to stop due to your erratic heartbeat, and while you profusely apologized every time, he took it in stride and never pressured you to do anything you weren't comfortable with.

It wasn't that you didn't think he was attractive, it was quite the opposite. He was Adonis-- tall, lean muscle, abs, strong jaw line, hair that you wanted to run your hands through. He was too perfect and it intimidated you. Other than the physical limitations you had set, it was a great relationship. The two of you could talk for hours, joking and laughing. His personality fit yours, he didn't get upset at your sarcastic quips, he actually enjoyed then and retorted back with just as much sass.

"Y/n, what's the problem? Why do you look so nervous?" your friend Aimee asked once class had been released for lunch.

"Yeah, and you look really sweaty..." your other friend Sayori mentioned, motioning to your red face.

Fanning your face with your hands, you admitted, "I'm going to do the deed today, that's why I look like a hot mess."

The two girls grinned and squealed, gaining the attention of the few stragglers in the classroom. You hushed then quickly, hiding your head in your arms. "Guys, please! This is already a stressful day! I don't need you all screaming and making a big deal of it." you mumbled into your arms.

Someone patted your head and ruffled your hair. "You really must be nervous if you're scolding us instead of screaming too."

"You may be right, Sayori-chan, normally Y/n is the first one of us to scream about something exciting."

You lifted your head and glared at your friends while trying to hide your growing smile. Aimee grabbed your cheeks and squished them together while Sayori hoped with excitement, "You're finally growing up! You put on your big girl thong today!"

"Oh my God, please don't ever say that again!" you groaned, trying to push the brown haired girls hands away from your hurting cheeks.

Sayori stopped her jumping and put her hands on small hips. "But it's true, you're going to be be the first one of us to actually put one of those things in your mouth."

Aimee stopped her assault on your poor face and rebutted, "Hey! I almost did!"

"Yeah, but then you woke up from your dream and realized Morisuke wasn't actually there." you teased light heartily.

The three of you laughed and you finally stood from your desk, stepping out of the classroom with your two best friends. Your trio hiked up the steps to the roof, opening the door and scoping it out, making sure no one had claimed your lunch spot for themselves. The warn sun caressed your face and the breeze carried the scent of the freshly bloomed flowers with it, pollen included. It was a gorgeous day, barely any clouds in the sky and birds happily perched on the edge of the roof, singing songs in hopes of finding a mate.

Plopping down on one of the benches, you confessed, "I've never seen his... you know what in person, what if I hurt him?"

Sayori tied her red hair in a messy bun before responding. "I've given a hand job before, they're surprisingly durable; you're only going to hurt him if you bite him or something like that."

Before you could respond with a smart ass comment, the devil named Tetsurou texted you.

 Volleybitch (4) unread messages

Hey doll face (Ф∀Ф)

im bored Kenma wont stop playing fire emblem to talk to me

he keeps talking about defeating the death knight but idk who that is

we still on for tonight? you get to pick the movie as long as its good

 You rolled your eyes as you responded.

tell him to recruit lysithea and he can one shot him with her lol

yeah we're still on!! the fams gone for the weekend so we can actually use the big tv in the living room

 just promise to take a shower before we leave bc i dont want u sweating up my couch you stink

literally all the time

nasty sweaty man

Putting your phone away, you focused on your friends who were still more excited about your nights rendezvous than you were. It was true that you didn't want your boyfriend making your house smelling like a gym, but you didn't want to put your mouth on him when he was just running around getting sweaty. You had standards, and smelling and tasting sweat was not apart of those standards

"You ready to ditch this popsicle stand?" Kuroo asked, tossing his water bottle in his gym bag. His hair was slightly damp from the quick shower he had just had.

You rolled your eyes and replied sardonically, "With you? Never."

 "You're right, look at that eligible bachelor over there waiting to watch a shitty movie with you tonight." He walked over to you and flipped you, pointing at volleyball pole that was being put away. "That handsome man wants to take you to dinner, but he can only afford McDonalds. So sad, Y/n, you can only get something off of the dollar menu."

 You raised your eyebrows in fake consideration. "Perhaps, but he doesn't have any muscles, so it's a hard pass. Sorry, mister pole, but you're still single." 

Your tall boyfriend laughed and guided you towards the gym doors, his hand on your back. You bit back a blush when he rubbed your back slightly. You're about to give this man a blowjob and you wanna blush when he touches your back? You were hopeless.

Your tall boyfriend laughed and guided you towards the gym doors, his hand on your back. You bit back a blush when he rubbed your back slightly. You're about to give this man a blowjob and you wanna blush when he touches your back? You were hopeless.

"So what movie have you decided on? It better not be anything related to Minions or Legos, or I promise you I will cry." Tetsurou deadpanned.

Humming, you grinned. "It's a surprise."

The ten minute walk to your house felt like an hour. You and Kuroo talked about the tournament coming up, but all you think of was the fact that you were going to suck this hot man's cock. The thought made you blush and salivate. Ideally his shirt would be off, letting you see how his work out regime gave him a delicious torso. You wondered how big he was, how thick it would be; would he taste good, would he be shaved? What if he didn't want you to suck him off? Would he find it repulsive?

"Y/n? Hey, dollface, we're at your house, stop walking or you're going to end up at your neighbors front door," Tetsurou's voice brought you back from your daze.

"Oh, sorry, I was just thinking of a strategy for the team and I guess I got lost in thought." you chuckled nervously, forcing your blush to evade.

Unlocking the door and stepping inside, your heart officially started to race. How was this going to start? 

Right, start a movie! 

"I'll start a movie if you wanna go get us something to drink from the kitchen," you suggested as you made your way towards the living room.

You shut the blinds in fear your neighbors would end up looking into them and seeing your lewd actions and quickly double checked to see if you locked the front door. Call yourself paranoid, but you didn't need anything interrupting. 

Tetsurou returned with two glasses of water and a smirk. Once he placed the two glasses on the coffee table, he sink into the couch and gazed at the TV. "So, I see the decision is The Breakfast Club. Again."

"You know it's one of my favorite movies!" you argued, sitting beside him.

The movie started, and twenty minutes into the movie, it was time to start your plan. 

You took a deep breath, exhaling through your nose. With a shaky hand, you ran it down Tetsurou's arm idly, gaining his attention. You could see his eyebrows raise in question as he gazed at your fingers brushing against his bicep. You wet your lips and kissed his cheek, traveling to his mouth. 

This caught him completely off guard.

He didn't complain, though, shifting his body to make it more comfortable for the both of you. Feeling confident in yourself, your tongue brushed against his lips, asking permission to enter. He happily obliged, opening his mouth and letting your tongue graze his. His hands wandered to your shoulders, rubbing them as your tongues battled for dominance-- in the end, Tetsurou was victorious. 

Your lower stomach was getting hot, you could feel your panties begin to dampen with arousal. His hands trailed down your shoulders to your arms, rubbing them softly. Your hands went to his hair, running your fingers through the tresses. The black haired boy groaned in your mouth, making you clamp your thighs shut. Feeling a burst of confidence, you broke the kiss and climbed into his lap, shocking him.

His eyes were dark with lust as he panted, "This is a nice surprise."

"Hush, or I'll stop." you murmured, going back to his lips with newly found gusto.

You've never been this aroused, your panties were soaked and threatening to spill onto your inner thighs. You knew your face was flushed brightly, but kissing Kuroo and feeling him harden beneath you was making your brain numb. It buzzed with lust and you could only focus on how his hands moved to your sides and how they felt like hot fire, his finger tips leaving warmth.

Experimenting was never something you thought you'd do, but you swiveled your hips in his lap, earning a heartfelt groan from the man beneath you. Breaking the kiss once more, you gazed at him with glossy eyes. Remembering your research, you stepped off of his lap and kneeled in front of his sitting form, peering at him through your lashes.

You'd never seen Kuroo blush, but seeing you on your knees, flustered, hair tousled, and lips plump from kissing, you'd think he'd passed out. 

The tent in his shorts were impressive, no matter how baggy the shorts were. Licking your lips once more, your shaking hands tentatively rubbed up his thighs, nearing his growing cock. He stuttered and swallowed harshly. "What do you think you're doing, doll face?"

"I'm going to suck you off, Tetsurou," You swore you heard him groan. "Unless you have a problem with that?"

He shook his head. "Not at all."

Swallowing the sudden nerves, you helped him pull his shorts and underwear down, releasing his cock. Your eyes widened once you saw how impressive it was. Would that fit in your mouth? Licking your lips, you stuck your tongue out and grazed the head of his swollen member, enticing a hiss from your boyfriend.

"Fuck, Y/n..." he muttered, bringing one of his clenched fists to his mouth, biting it.

Gaining the confidence back you had originally, you popped the head into your mouth, sucking it lightly. Tetsurou stuttered out a moan, whispering your name. You went down his shaft a bit further, gripping one of his thighs for leverage. Kuroo was very vocal, giving you praises and groaning every time you sucked your cheeks in. Your other hand went to grip the rest of his cock that you couldn't fit into your sore mouth. He was girthy, your jaw was beginning to hurt from the unusual strain. You bobbed your head with more speed, glancing up at Tetsurou who had his head thrown back in pure bliss. Your neglected, throbbing sex was growing more aroused with slick, this boy was going to be the death of you. 

His hips started thrusting shallowly to meet your mouth, one of his hands going to your hair. His moans were becoming louder and the grip in your hair was growing tighter.

"That's it, Y/n, don't stop. God, who knew you had such a good mouth," he praised. 

Kuroo Tetsurou was coming undone before you and it was sexiest thing you've ever seen.

All because of you.

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Chapter One: Lonely Together

Jack Kline x OC

Rated: PG

~I might hate myself tomorrow

But I'm on my way tonight

Let's be lonely together

A little less lonely together~

Sent: 10:52 PM

Merry Christmas, stranger. I hope yours is as bright as new fallen snow. Stay warm.

I smiled down at my phone before clicking it off and slipping it into my pocket. I didn't know who I had sent the message to. It was just a number I had punched in at random. I didn't expect anyone to reply.

Wrapping my dark green cardigan tighter around my body, I pulled my knees in closer to my chest and pressed myself closer against the wall of the bakery. The wall was only slightly warmer than the frigid air around me. It was December 2nd and icy gales were blowing in from Lake Superior and stinging the skin of the city's occupants.

The sky hung dark, low, and flat over Copper Harbor, Michigan. Copper Harbor was an itty-bitty town at the northern most tip of the northernmost part of Michigan. You know that piece of land that's only connected to the mainland by a highway, that in-between place that really should be Canada, but isn't? That's where Copper Harbor is and that's where I was.

Copper Harbor was the sort of town where newcomers and visitors are as common as flying pigs and are treated with about as much scrutiny. It's not one of those small, friendly towns just off the highway; the ones that are pleasant to find yourself in if you've taken a wrong turn. It's quite the feat to get lost and turn up in Copper Harbor, considering its miles away from anything and everything remotely interesting, unless you're searching for Bigfoot or a drunk Canadian that took a wrong turn. Though those two things might just end up being one and the same. No, nobody came to Copper Harbor unless they had a reason. That's just the sort of place it was. And aside from the mind-numbing cold, it was exactly the sort of place I wanted to be.

The clouds were so heavy with the snow that now drifted down, dusting everything in a layer of fine white powder, it seemed that someone standing on even the lowest rooftop could reach up and touch them. The snowflakes raining down from those clouds gave the appearance of tiny shooting stars. Many would have found the sight beautiful. I didn't. I just found it cold and somewhat depressing. Some people say that shooting stars are angels, falling to the earth to bless the lives of people in need. I've never liked those sorts of stories. The stars belong in the heavens. The dust belongs on the earth. Collecting in puddles, the sparkling, sugar-like ice crystals did nothing to ease the bitter cold. I shivered and coughed, my breath fogging in front of me.

I should have frozen to death hours ago.

But I can't die. At least, not that way.

Suffering, on the other hand, I can do that to no end.

I put my head between my knees, hoping to retain what little heat my walking corpse had to offer. I struggled to remain conscious. The story of the little-match-girl was playing in my head. I'd never liked that story's ending. Hallucinations really weren't my thing, especially hallucinations about things I tried not to think about, the things I tried to burry in the farthest corners of my mind. I had to distract myself, to think about anything that would keep me awake. The problem was, there was nothing to distract me.

Pling!

My phone buzzed in my pocket with a text. I grasped it quickly, greedy for a distraction, but I paused upon seeing the number displayed upon the screen. It was that number I had texted the Merry Christmas message to. Whoever it was had texted me back. I unlocked my phone and peered at the mystery person's message.

Received: 11:18 PM

Merry Christmas to you as well!

The message read. I smiled a little, surprised that anyone would care to return my quiet Christmas wish. The screen of my phone lit up with another message.

Received: 11:19 PM

Who are you?

The question was a simple one. Though tone can often be difficult to infer over written text, the question seemed to bear no hostility, only innocent curiosity. I thought for a bit about what to say, the answer was not as simple as the question had implied.

***

Located quite literally one thousand miles away from Copper Harbor, was the small, out-of-the-way town of Lebanon, Kansas. Now, in the outskirts Lebanon there was a hill. The hill was modestly sized and carpeted with thick grass painted with a layer of frost. Although it was a rather pleasant sight for some stray hiker to find, the hill was really quite unremarkable. That is, if you ignored the hulking steel door built into the side of it that looked like the entrance to a post-apocalyptic hobbit hole. See, built under that hill there was a bunker. It looked like any ordinary bunker if one can ever describe a bunker as ordinary. But inside this ordinary looking bunker, sat something rather extraordinary and his name was Jack.

Jack Kline was quite happy where he was. Sitting with his legs crossed on a chair beside the bunker's fireplace, Jack held Sam's beloved lap-top between his knees. Sam let him borrow it on the nights he couldn't sleep. Those nights were many. Sleepless nights were one of the many side effects of being half-angel, but he didn't really mind. Jack wasn't overly fond of sleep, not like Sam or Dean who adored the few hours they got. Jack would much rather be awake because if he was asleep then he couldn't observe. He liked to observe. He loved learning. He loved taking in anything and everything going on around him, soaking it all up like a sponge with legs. He especially loved to soak up a story. Epic ones with heroes that defeat powerful villains. Jack loved stories.

So, no; Jack Kline was not overly fond of sleep. No, Jack preferred to just sit quietly and watch those epic stories as they played out in front of him on the screen of Sam's lap-top.

Currently, he was watching Star Wars: The Clone Wars. The computer had said he would like it, and the computer had been right. He had just finished season 2 and had begun on season 3. Some small voice in the back of his mind told him he should slow down and draw the series out a little longer, but Jack just couldn't find the will to do so. This story was just too good to stop. Jack shoved a hand full of popcorn in his mouth as he pressed the play button on the next episode. He had managed to sneak several bags of popcorn from the kitchen and into the secret stash in his room a few nights earlier. It was perfect, except popcorn needed to be popped and popping the kernels without attracting notice was a bit of a challenge. But he found that if he popped them during the day, when everyone was clamoring about and busy with whatever, the noise from the popping kernels wouldn't peak any suspicion. The only downside to his strategy was that it left him with cold popcorn. Though this too could be remedied via his angel powers, if he was careful about it, he could warm up the popcorn undetected.

Now, don't get the impression that Jack was being starved, or held in this bunker against his will, or something awful like that. As was mentioned before, Jack was very happy there. The Winchesters, Sam and Dean, and the angel Castiel, lived there with him and took care of him. They were his family and Jack loved them. The only reason he had a secret stash at all was because Sam was the only one in the bunker who cared about the importance of having a somewhat healthy diet. Whereas Dean let the boy eat pretty much anything he wanted and Cas- well in Cas's mind food was food and that's all there was to it. But Sam didn't like it when he caught Jack eating what he referred to as 'junk food'.

Somehow, Sam always caught him.

"That stuff’ll rot your teeth, Jack!" He'd sigh, as he'd flip on the kitchen light and catch Jack eating cereal sometime around midnight. Then he'd look at Jack with a disappointed look on his face until Jack threw the cereal away and went back to bed. Jack hated it when Sam looked at him like that, he just couldn't bear to let the Winchesters down.

But Jack loved to eat. Eating was enjoyable as it brought with it something new every time. Yet more things to absorb and to experience. Although the younger Winchester disapproved of the more sugary foods; Jack liked those a whole lot more than the salads Sam tried to get him to eat. Jack didn't like the salads or 'Rabbit Food' as Dean called it. No, Jack liked popcorn a quite a bit more.

He smiled as he brought another handful into his mouth. Yes, Jack Kline quite enjoyed eating.

Plip! Ploop!

Jack's head swiveled away from the screen to stare at the phone laying face-up on the arm rest of the chair in which he sat. The screen was alight with a text message. He picked up the phone and unlocked it. The message read:

Received: 10:52 PM

Merry Christmas, stranger. I hope yours is as bright as new fallen snow. Stay warm.

That was all. Jack was quite confused; he didn't know that number. Who had sent the text? What should he do? Should he say something back?

Curiosity and caution struggled in a match tug-of-war in his head. He wanted to know who the message had come from. He wanted to know why that person had sent it. He also wanted to know why he had a strange feeling that whoever had sent the message was horribly sad. But would the Winchesters be mad at him if he answered? Sam and Dean had given him the phone just a few days earlier.

"For emergencies," Sam had said as he laid the device in Jack's hand before resuming his packing. Jack had stared at it, rather confused as to its purpose. Castiel had been off somewhere doing something and Sam and Dean had been leaving for a hunt, leaving him alone which Dean was completely and utterly against.

"Only for emergencies," Dean had stressed, jabbing his finger in Jack's general direction as he inspected various articles of clothing before tossing them into a duffle bag. "That means don't text or call unless someone is breaking in or you're dying!"

Sam shot his older brother a warning look. Dean ignored it and pulled a pair of socks out of his dresser, sniffing them briefly before making a face and chucking them to the other side of the room. Jack looked back down at the small black rectangle in his palm.

"Okay so, only text or call in case there's an emergency. Got it." Jack clinched the thin black box between his thumb and forefinger, carefully lifting it up as if it might explode in his face. "But, one question, if something happens like-like you said, like somebody breaking in or me dying, how-how would I do that?" He asked, looking back at the two brothers. They both froze their hasty packing and pivoted to stare at him, their eyebrows raised with disbelieving question.

"What?" Dean asked the young Nephilim. Jack shrank away a little, not wanting to upset the older Winchester.

"How do I text or call you? I don't know how to do that," Jack had timidly replied. Dean just shook his head and returned to over-stuffing the duffle. Sam, however, was much more understanding.

"That's right, you-you don't, do you?" Sam asked, realizing his mistake. Jack turned his attention to the younger of the brothers, shaking his head in an answer to Sam's question.

"Unbelievable," Dean muttered, rolling his eyes. Sam shot him another glare which Dean merely shrugged off.

"Well, come on then, I'll teach you," Sam had said. Jack watched as Sam set the contacts and explained how everything worked. He showed Jack how to send a text, how to dial and answer a call, and all the other things Jack would need to know. Jack just watched him and took note of every little thing. Watching and replicating was how Jack learned best.

"Now, if I don't answer my phone, you call Dean. But if he doesn't pick up, I want you to call me again, if I still don't answer a second time, I want you to call this number right here. That's Jody Mills, she's a friend of ours and she'll help you, alright? You get all that?" Sam finished explaining and looked for Jack to confirm his understanding. Jack nodded.

"I got it!" He said, enthusiastically. Sam gave the young boy a nervous smile.

"You do? Can you repeat it back to me?" Sam asked Jack the question the same way Sam and Dean's father had always asked them.

"If something happens, call you, and if you don't answer, call Dean. If Dean doesn't answer then I call you again, but if you still don't pick up, then call Jody Mills." Jack repeated all of Sam's instructions perfectly, grinning proudly at the younger Winchester when he finished. Sam laughed a little, but nerves twinged his voice.

"Good, yeah. Okay," Sam paused, thinking things over, "You know what, Jack? If neither of us answer your call and it's really that urgent, don't bother calling me a second time. Just call Jody right away if you can't get through to either of us. Alright?"

"Alright!" Jack nodded, grinning. Sam nodded back, stiffly.

"Alright." He seemed like he wanted to say something else but didn't know how to say it.

"You two done in there, Sammy?! We gotta go!" Dean called, walking in from another room. Sam stood and looked at his brother.

"Uh, yeah. I think we're good," He took a few steps towards the stairs that lead up to the door before pausing and turning back to Jack, "We're good, right? You're gonna be okay here by yourself?" Sam asked again. Jack grinned and gave him a thumbs up.

"I'll be fine. You don't have to worry."

Sam nodded and smiled with so much nervousness it almost hurt to watch.

"Okay, good. It's good. We're good," He said, nodding and trying to reassure himself more than anyone else. Dean raised an eyebrow at his overly anxious little brother, tugging his old leather jacket on over his shoulders, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he directed his remarks at Jack.

"Hey, kid. Whatever you do, don't do anything stupid," He'd said, half glaring, "We'll be back in a few days." Then they'd left.

Now, Jack glanced back down at the phone in his hands, remembering Dean's warning about not doing anything stupid. But his curiosity regarding the sender of the message was overwhelming. It couldn't hurt to text this person back, right? Was that what Dean had meant by his warning? Did this count as something stupid? What was the worst that could happen? Deciding that the benefits outweighed the risks, he texted back.

Sent: 10:18 PM

Merry Christmas to you as well!

Jack wrote.

Sent: 10:19 PM

Who are you?

No sooner had asked his question, he began to worry that he might have sounded rude. He waited with anticipation for the mystery person to reply. He didn't have to wait long.

Received: 10:20 PM

It doesn't matter, you don't know me.

I'm just someone wanting to give you a warm holiday wish.

Jack frowned. Again, he got the distinct feeling that the person on the other side of this conversation was deeply saddened by something. He desperately wanted to know what. So, he did the thing he did best. He asked and waited to see what would happen.

***

Received: 11:21 PM

If you don't know me, why do you care?

I don't mean to be rude. I'm just curious.

Why do this?

I read the person's question once, then twice, then three times and I realized that I didn't have an answer. Why did I care? Why was I texting some random person a Christmas wish? For all I knew, this person may not even observe the holiday. I had so many of my own things to worry about I was nearly drowning in them. I didn't know this person. I had nothing to do with them. So, why did I care about their holiday season? Why was I doing this?

I told myself it was just a random act of kindness. But deep down I knew what the reason was, and even if I didn't want to think about it, I felt it in my heart. I was doing this for the same reason I did everything. So, I took a few moments and came up with a reply.

Sent: 11:25 PM

I'm doing this because I believe that no one should ever have to be alone,

especially during the holidays.

I sent my reply and remembered to keep on shivering. I could hardly feel the cold anymore, I had gone almost completely numb. But I knew if I didn't keep moving, I would surely freeze in place and be unable to move until spring came. I vaguely wondered how cold it was. I remembered having heard on someone's car radio that this was supposed to be the coldest winter Michigan had experienced in the last decade. Though winter had only just begun, it was already cold enough for the district council to be suggesting face coverings to prevent citizens from getting frostbite and losing their nose.

I sneezed. I had no such face covering. Hell! I didn't even have a jacket! Let alone a coat or anything mildly warm. All I had was my oversized green cardigan, my black Star Wars t-shirt and my black jeans. That was it. Yet here I sat, outside a bakery in well below freezing temperatures, shivering myself into next decade.

I could go to a shelter. At least there I wouldn't have to endure the bitter biting of the wind as it gushed with double its normal force through these tight, abandoned alleyways. But if I went to a shelter then there was no chance of leaving undetected, I reminded myself. No, it was better to stay here, cold and alone, than to risk human contact.

I was pulled from my thoughts by another pling from my phone. Another message from that unknown contact.

Received: 11: 27

Are you alone?

Again, the question was simple. And although the mere thought hurt like a knife twisting in a fresh wound, I looked around at the dark, trash littered alleyway I sat in, watching the scattered rags of paper flutter and tumble in the winter gales, and I looked at the brutally beautiful puddles of speckled ice gathering along my body and melting on my skin, and I examined the bleak night sky, choked starless by the drifting dreary clouds; and the utterly silent stillness of the sleeping city revealed the harsh reality of my answer.

No one was here.

Nobody cared.

Not even the stars would keep me company. Because the stars never cared who I was.

So, with no reason to keep the truth hidden. I answered the question honestly.

Sent: 11: 29 PM

Yes.

Sent: 11: 30 PM

I am alone.

I was completely and utterly alone.

***

Received: 10: 30 PM

I am alone.

Once again Jack got the distinct impression that these words carried a heavy burden. It made him frown. What could he do to help a person he didn't even know? He wanted to ask this person if they had any friends, but something about those words told him the answer. When this person had said they were alone, Jack got the feeling they weren't just talking about the current moment. But maybe that's what this person needed. Maybe they needed a friend.

Sent: 10: 32 PM

Well, I'll be your friend and talk to you. There, now you're not alone anymore!

Jack smiled as he sent the text. The reply didn't take long.

Received: 10: 33 PM

Thank you.

You don't have waste your time on me but thank you.

It didn't take any special powers to read in between the lines this time, anyone could see the sadness in those words. Though Jack wasn't sure if it was his powers causing that strange feeling or if he was just imagining things.

Sent: 10:34 PM

I don't mind. Really!

Besides, I don't have anyone to talk to either.

Received: 10: 35 PM

Well, in that case, we can be lonely together!

Jack grinned. He'd made himself a friend. He couldn't wait to get to know them.

***

Received: 11: 36 PM

Since we're friends now, what's your name?

I smiled down at my new mystery friend's message. There was something about the words that made them seem innocent and earnest. It couldn't hurt to give my name, right? It’s not like he could find me. After all, I'm supposed to be dead.

Sent: 11: 37 PM

My name is Martina.

I sent my name and waited for the response. It came quickly.

Received: 11: 38 PM

I like your name Martina!

It's very pretty.

I flinched as I read the text. Something about seeing my name written in the text brought me back to a conversation with a different person a long time ago. It was a painful memory, and I didn't want to see it anymore. I didn't want another reminder of the still bleeding wounds in my heart. I remembered why I didn't let anyone call me that name anymore.

Sent: 11: 39 PM

Thank you.

But I would prefer you call me Marty.

I didn't want to be so sensitive to things like this, but I just couldn't help it.

Received: 11: 40 PM

Alright! I like Marty too.

It's a fun name.

I smiled; grateful they didn't ask why it was so important that they called me by a nickname.

Sent: 11: 41 PM

Thanks for understanding.

So, what's your name?

Received: 11: 42 PM

My name is Jack!

I grinned to myself. I'd made me a friend. I just couldn't wait to get to know him.

Sent: 11: 43 PM

Heya, Jack!

It’s nice to meet you!

I think this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship.

Received: 11: 44 PM

I agree, Marty. We are going to be great friends!

Sent: 11: 45 PM

So, what's your favorite movie?

And just like that, we talked until the sun came up. And suddenly, for the first time in quite a while, I wasn't completely alone.

***

"Hey, uh, Jack? We're back!"

Sam's voice drifted in from just outside Jack's bedroom door. Jack was surprised. He hadn't heard the brothers come in which, for him, was quite peculiar.

The door creaked open and Jack hastily attempted to pretend like he hadn't been using the phone.

He failed.

Miserably.

The device slipped from his hand and he fumbled to catch it before it smashed against the grey, polished concrete floor. He let out a sigh of relief as he snatched it just in time.

Sam peered around the door, checking in on Jack, who was now hanging halfway off his bed and clutching the phone. Scrambling to sit upright, Jack gave Sam a half-panicked smile.

"Hi Sam!" He waved a greeting, shoving his phone behind his back. Sam raised his eyebrows in a questioning expression and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him. He folded his arms and leaned back on his heels.

"Hey Jack," Sam seemed a little distracted, "Have you seen Cas?" He asked. Jack shook his head vigorously.

"He's not back yet," He answered. Sam nodded and started to leave before stopping and turning back. Only now seeming to notice Jack's odd behavior. Sam gestured at the phone hidden behind the boys back,

"So, what were you doing in here just now?" Jack's eyes flew wide as quarters and his gaze shifted rapidly around the room, focusing on anywhere but Sam. His mind was working overtime trying to find a viable excuse.

"Uhhhh...Nothing!" Jack tried; his brain had gone blank. Sam raised an eyebrow.

"You sure about that?" Sam leaned forward a little, narrowing his eyes. Jack leaned back to match; his face scrunched up with the guilt he was trying very hard to hide. Everyone in the bunker knew how terrible Jack was at lying. He might be able to pass a few simple fibs by a stranger, but his family saw through him like he was made of glass. He couldn't deceive them. But that didn't stop him from trying, however.

"Yes..." Jack said slowly, his eyebrows pulling together in a rather sad attempt at looking sincere.

"Jack, what were you doing?" Sam asked more sternly. Jack looked at his feet and didn't answer. His shoulders moved up and down in a shrug.

"Do I have to go get Dean?" Sam pressed. Now Jack's head shot up. He stretched his hands out in a pleading gesture.

"No, no! Don't tell Dean!" Jack begged. Sam's expression shifted into one of concern.

"If you tell me, I won't tell Dean." Sam agreed, moving to sit on the bed beside Jack who shifted to give him some space. Sam waited patiently for the young Nephilim to speak. Jack kept his head down and rubbed his hands together nervously as he tried to think of how he should explain himself.

"Well, last night I was watching Netflix when I got this text from somebody wishing me a merry Christmas-" He started.

"Someone we know?" Sam asked, interrupting. Jack shook his head and continued.

"I asked them why they would do that, and they said it was because they thought that nobody should be alone this time of year. So, I asked if they were alone and they said, yes ─" Jack looked the younger Winchester in the eyes ─

"I don't know why but I just got this- this feeling, and they sounded just so sad, and now we're friends! But Dean said not to do anything stupid, and now I'm worried that I did! Are you mad?" Jack finished, worry coloring his features. Sam blinked. Once again astounded by the size of the half-angel's heart, he shook his head.

"No, Jack. I'm not mad," He said, softly.

"Really?"

"Really. I think you did a good thing. Everyone needs a friend." Sam patted Jack's shoulder and smiled. Jack looked down, grinning to himself as pride filled his chest.

Sam waited a moment before getting up from the bed. Stretching his back out and groaning a bit as he stood. It had been almost 48 hours since he last slept, and he was more than ready for a long nap. His hand rested on the doorknob and he paused a moment before turning back around.

"Hey, uh, Jack. Just one more thing. Do you by chance know this person's name?" Sam asked. Jack looked up briefly before looking back at the floor again, trying to hide the embarrassment creeping up to stain his cheeks.

"It's, uh, it's Marty," He replied. Sam nodded and moved to leave again but he stopped. His eyebrows pulled down with confusion before he turned back.

"And uh, is that a boy's name or a girl's name? Do you know?" Jack turned his head a bit to the side and picked at a thread in his jeans.

"Does it matter?" He questioned back. Truthfully, it didn't. Sam wouldn't make Jack stop if he didn't want to. But to say that the boy's current evasive behavior didn't pique his interest, would be a lie. Though, the kid’s flushed cheeks told him quite a bit about the answer.

"It doesn't matter," Sam said, shrugging, "I'm just curious is all." The tall man watched the boy's reaction. Jack nodded and shifted as if uncomfortable.

"Marty's a girl." He answered, trying to force his voice into sounding nonchalant. And failing.

"Okay, cool." Sam nodded, turning around again, and reaching for the handle. Jack's head whipped around.

"Wait, Sam!"

Sam looked over his shoulder.

"Hmm?"

"Don't. Tell. Dean!" Jack stressed. Urgency was evident in his voice. Sam huffed a laugh.

"Okay, Jack." With that, Sam pulled open the door and walked out letting the heavy steel swing shut behind him. Behind the door, Jack sighed with relief. He'd dodged a bullet with that one.

Walking a ways down the hall, Sam got to Dean's room where his older brother was now unpacking. The younger brother leaned on the door frame and expelled the laughter he'd been holding on to since Jack’s room. Dean turned around, holding a pistol and a pair of weeks old and hopelessly blood caked socks in his hands, he faced Sam with a questioning look.

"What's got you so giggly all of a sudden?" The older of the brother's asked.

Dean glanced at the pair of socks in his hand. He grimaced at the stench and held them further away from his face, trying not to breathe. It didn't work. The socks odor was so pungent, Dean could smell them through his mouth. There was no hope of washing them. Nope, those things would have to be burned. Though, taking another whiff of them, Dean wasn't sure that even incinerating the socks would do him much good now. The stomach-turning stink would be branded into his memory forever. Sam straightened up, shaking his head of shoulder length hair.

"It's just something Jack said." Sam smiled and laughed again before taking notice of the unholy stench wafting off the socks. He coughed. "Dude, those stink. Bad!"

"Yeah, it's a sad day, Sammy." Dean nodded solemnly. Sam covered his nose.

"Why?"

"These were my second luckiest pair of socks."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well, they're not anymore," Sam pointed out. Now, they were just rancid.

"I think we should give em' a Viking funeral, something to honor their service. I mean, I remember one time when I wore these things for two weeks straight!" Dean reminisced, grinning. Sam looked mildly disturbed.

"That's, uh... nice... But, uh, is there somewhere we could put them before the funeral? Because they, uh, they reek." Sam was trying hard not to gag and couldn't understand how Dean could be holding them and remain unaffected. Dean smirked.

"You wanna go put em' somewhere?" He asked, waving the socks into Sam's face. Sam leaned away.

"Ah! God! No! Put those things somewhere! Please!" He choked out. Dean just grinned and moved to the other side of the room. Grabbing a cardboard box from off the shelf, he shoved the socks in there and sealed the lid. The stench quickly began to dissipate.

"Better?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"We're gonna have to burn that box too."

"Yup." Sam still felt a little sick but at least the socks were gone.

"So, what was it Jack said that you thought was so funny?" The older brother asked.

"Oh, uh, nothing. It was nothing," Sam said. But laughter began to creep up on him again. Dean rolled his eyes and went back to pulling more dirty clothing from the duffle bag.

"Are ya gonna stand there or are ya gonna spill?" Dean pushed. Sam sobered up again.

"Well, I'm not supposed to tell you," He said.

Dean shook his head, mildly annoyed. He knew Sam was going to tell him whatever juicy information he had gotten, just like he always did when he got that sly look on his face. Sam could be a bit of a schoolgirl that way. Except, of course, when it came to the important things, the things Dean was supposed to know. Those things Sam always kept to himself.

"Well, Sammy, if you ain’t gonna spill─" he used the gun in his hand to gesture from Sam to the duffle bag─ "get workin'."

The younger Winchester moved to the bag and started unpacking, grinning his face off all the while. Dean knew his little brother was waiting for him to ask about the thing with Jack again, so he said nothing. He just waited for Sam to look over to him eagerly, which is exactly what Sam did.

"So get this!" Sam started.

'Here it comes.' Dean predicted internally. Sam kept starring.

'Yatzee.' Dean thought. He knew Sam like the back of his hand. Actually, he probably knew his brother better than that.

"Apparently, Jack got a text from some random person last night wishing him merry Christmas. And, well, you know Jack! So he─" Dean stopped his brother mid-sentence.

"What's her name?" He interrupted. Sam looked confused.

"I didn't say anything about a girl," Sam trailed off. Dean sighed and shook his head.

"Geez, Sammy! If you love drama so much, you should go be an actor. You ain't foolin' anybody. We both know where this is goin' so just cut to the chase!" Dean sighed, opening a trunk and tossing in the gun he'd been holding along with several knives. His small outburst had startled his younger brother, but Dean didn't really care. Sam wasn't the only one who hadn't slept in 48 hours. Sleep was calling and Dean wanted nothing more than to answer. Sam frowned.

"Marty. The girl's name is Marty," Sam stated, sounding rather put out that Dean had guessed at his not-so-cleaver ploy. The older if the pair turned to the younger with a perplexed expression.

"Wait, wait. Marty?" He clarified. Amused disbelief written all over his features.

"Marty," Sam confirmed.

"Marty?"

"Yeah. Marty."

"Like the zebra in Madagascar, Marty?" Dean asked, grinning. Sam nodded.

"Yeah, like that. But remember, you didn't hear anything from me!" He answered, smiling as well. Dean laughed as he turned his attention back to the mess of clothing and weapons surrounding him on the floor.

"Yeah, whatever, drama queen." Dean rolled his eyes and kept working. The room was silent for a moment before the older Winchester burst out laughing again. He couldn't help himself; he found the subject hilarious.

"Ah, man. Marty! Now there's a name!" He exclaimed as he started folding the few clean clothing items laying in the pile. "What? Did her parents just take one look at her and say: 'Look at our beautiful baby! Let's name her Marty!'" Dean scoffed.

Sam snorted and shook his head at his older brother's bad joke. Then he leaned his head back and yawned.

"Man, I think we need some sleep," Sam sighed. Dean smirked.

"Is it your bedtime already?" He taunted, expecting a playful retort. But this time, Sam didn't argue. He just nodded.

"Yeah, I think it is." Though worried about his little brother, Dean held his playful smirk in place perfectly, just like he had been doing for so many years.

"Well, you go ahead and hit the sack. I'll finish up here." He said, easily. Even though he was just as tired and Sam was, he would finish out like always. Sam raised an eyebrow.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, o'course. There's not much left anyway." That was a lie and they both knew it, but Sam took the offer of sleep while it was on the table.

"Thanks, Dean."

"You're welcome, Sammy."

Sam patted his older brother on the arm as he stood and left the room. Traveling down the corridor he got to his bedroom and was out as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Meanwhile, Dean mouthed the strange name of Jack's mystery girl and chuckled about it to himself. Sitting on the floor in his room as he continued folding the rest of the clean clothes, cleaning out all the weapons and putting everything back in its place. The chore took him two more hours to complete but when it was done, he stretched himself out and laid back on his bed.

"Marty. Now, that's hilarious." Dean snickered to himself as he drifted off to sleep.

~I might hate myself tomorrow.

But I'm on my way tonight.

Let's be lonely together.

A little less lonely together~

Lyrics from: Lonely Together by Jasmine Thompson

[cathrrrine]

RUN | Pietro x Reader

Originally from my Wattpad

CHAPTER 17 - SPEED DIAL

———

"I'm about to do something really stupid." Steve put his hands on his hips and stared at the entrance before him, as if he was still contemplating whether or not it was worth it.

"What is it?" Pietro followed the Captain's gaze, both of them eyeing the doorway. It took him a while to figure it out, but once he connected Steve's nervous stance to his reason to standing in front of the room where Y/N was being held, he felt stupid for not knowing immediately. "Oh. That's very stupid."

"I know."

"You're really going in there?"

"Seems like it."

Pietro wondered if he should explain his own situation with Y/N to Steve, but decided against it. There was enough drama going on for the man, especially when the possible key to unlocking his best friend's whereabouts were just a few feet away. Steve could live without knowing Pietro's dilemma.

"Good luck then." He gave the Captain a brief nod, smirking a little when Steve did nothing in response. Pietro watched as he entered the passcode for the door to open, backing away as Steve began to enter.

———

Just as I thought I would be alone again — and this time more willingly — someone else stepped inside. The familiar muscular figure strode across the room, his boots clacking on the floor as if to announce his arrival.

I sighed and stayed laying down on the bed, not bothering to sit up and give him any sort of greeting. First the speedster, now him? What was he going to do, tell me the values of a great American?

"Jokes on you, I'm not even American." I mumbled to myself in response to my mental rambling.

"Huh?"

I groaned, putting an arm over my eyes to block the light. "What are you doing here, Captain?"

He cleared his throat. I could hear him shifting from one foot to the other in discomfort. Was he...nervous? That was definitely intriguing. What the hell is wrong with these Avengers? They were more complicated than I thought they would be.

"I came here to ask you for something."

I put down the arm I had over my eyes and shifted my weight onto my elbows, propping myself up so I could get a better look at my uninvited visitor. "Another deal?"

"Something like that." His lips stretched out into a thin line, his arms raising from his sides so he could cross them in front of his chest. "It's an offer. If you want it, take it. If you don't-"

"You'll kill me."

The Captain's eyebrows met together furiously, "That wasn't what I was going to say. If you don't want to take my offer, then it's up to Fury to decide what to do with you."

"So...no difference, then. He'll kill me."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to." I shrugged. I swung my legs over the bed and stood up so I was exactly across him. "So, what's this life-changing opportunity you've got in store?"

His shoulders immediately sagged, telling me how much he dreaded what he was going to say. I stood in anticipation, slowly taking small steps forward.

"You knew him." Steve blinked. "You knew Bucky."

"Who?"

"James." He sighed again, like the weight of the world was sitting on his windpipe. "Or...the Winter Sold-"

"Stop right there." I put a hand up, my palm facing the son of a bitch. "If I hear that name one more time, I'll rip your organs out through your mouth and shove them back in through your ass."

I hated how he said his name, his actual name, with such fondness and nonchalance like he was anything more than a torture machine who made my life a living hell. Steve tilted his head, stretching his neck. I could see the muscles of his jaw flexing even from where I was standing. It was almost impossible how his teeth were still intact to this day, with all that tension in his jaw and the stress-grinding.

"I just need you to help me track him down."

I couldn't help but chuckle. Hell, laugh even. That finally broke the dam that I tried to hold up and all hell was breaking loose right this moment. Steve Rogers, everybody! The world's greatest comedian! Round of applause!

"Track him down? You think I have his phone number on speed dial? What do you want me to do? Call him up and say, 'Hey, bestie! What's up? Wanna go shopping for knives? Maybe kill some people on the way? Oh, how about we get some ice cream and reminisce the time when you tried to kill me but I ran away and I've been running ever since? Good times!' HA!"

"I'm not asking you to make friendship bracelets, I'm just asking for information that only you could possibly know."

"Are you crazy, Rogers?" I yelled so loudly that my breath fogged up the glass I was basically pressed up upon. "You'll never track him down. He's under Hydra's thumb 24/7. Even if we do manage to get to him, what do you think will happen? You're the face of the enemy. He'll kill you on the spot. He's not your best friend anymore, Rogers. He's a weapon bound to blow up in your face."

"Wait, what?" He uncrossed his arms and replaced them on his hips. He pointed to me, "Why do you think Hydra's still watching him?"

"I said don't make me say his name again-"

"No, no- you think he's-" he cut off abruptly. "You don't know, do you?"

The hand he had been using to point at me moved towards his face to stroke his chin. "The Winter Soldier escaped Hydra not too long ago, when S.H.I.E.L.D was compromised."

What? I felt my body go numb. It was like the world was caving in on me, trying to crush my body with it's cruel, cruel walls. How did I not know that? "What? No. You're lying."

He shook his head, "That's why I want you to help me track him down. I can't leave him alone out there."

My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. Hearing Steve talk about him like he was referring to a friend, humanising him...felt so wrong and disgusting that it left a bad taste in my mouth. I wanted to throw up.

"No."

I walked away from the front of the cell and turned my back to him, wanting nothing more to do with the conversation. Everything I thought was true turned out to be a rotting corpse of a lie. There was nothing else to revive, not even the remains of hell that I blew away a lifetime ago. There was no phoenix that would suddenly rise. Just cold, painful and numbing reality, hitting me in the face.

I should be glad, right? The knowledge that he was no longer who he used to be should be enough to send me dancing for joy and painting the town or whatever it is that happy, liberated people do. But instead I was scared. He was out there, blending in with civilians as if he wasn't a total monster. I was confused too—the sole reason I'd handed myself over to S.H.I.E.L.D was because I was running from him.

Then, the gears of my brain suddenly hit the brakes.

"You're lying." I said, with my back still turned to the glass. "He's not out there. He's still with them. I heard him, the day Hydra raided this place!"

"I thought you might bring that up. I'm not lying, Y/N."

Something told me I should turn around, and so I did. He was taking something out of his pocket. A small, metallic black, oval device that resembled an earpiece, with a wire attached to it. At the end of the wire was a tiny cube. "We found this on one of the Hydra agents' bodies, it was attached to his ear and his neck. We examined it immediately."

He held the thing up for me to see, the cube dangling from the wire. "Advanced technology."

He didn't need to say the words. I already knew what was coming.

"A voice modifier."

I chewed the inside of my cheek to keep myself from doing something stupid–the range was vast–and took a deep breath. Today was a day of revelations, it seemed. This cell is a feelings brothel.

"They knew, didn't they?" I scoffed, smirking despite my own conscience. "They wanted me to be scared."

Steve shoved the horror device back into his pocket, nodding once and staying silent, a gesture for me to continue. I dared myself to meet his eyes.

"This doesn't change anything." I heard myself saying. "I'm not helping you find him either way."

He sighed, shaking his head as if in disbelief. "I thought you might say that."

I didn't know what to say. But then suddenly, I heard the sound of a click and felt a sudden rush of air behind me. I whipped my head around to see the door hanging slightly ajar.

"Advanced technology."

Life was getting stranger by the second for me. I was just starting to figure out all the ways I could escape seamlessly, but then he stopped me.

"I'm not done yet." What now? "You can get out of here, on one condition. You help me find him. Then you're free to go wherever you want to go after."

Deals after deals after deals. My life was a joke. Everything I do involves a gamble.

"That's it?"

"Listen here, Y/N." The Captain's voice dropped an octave, a threat waiting to ignite. "I'm doing this on my own accord. If you help me, I'll be more than glad to return the favour, but only if you swear not to show up on anyone's radar for at least a year or they'll find you. Do this and you can forget about everything. I'm offering you a clean slate."

It was the negotiation of the century. But I sensed there was more. "And?"

"And, if you so much as step a foot out of line, I won't be the law abiding Captain you know me to be, kid."

I smirked. "Huh. I like you more like this, Cap. Suits you."

"So, what's it gonna be?"

I let the thought of it marinate for a while, weighing all the pros and cons. Pros? I get to get out of here and forget about ever 'pledging my loyalty' to this freak show. Cons? I had to actively and consciously search for the man whom I'd been running from forever.

"Deal. But I have one condition."

He raised an eyebrow lazily, as if surprised but also not at the same time. I was becoming way too predictable for these people. "What would that be?"

I couldn't go alone, not with just the walking flag, and I still had some unanswered questions to deal with. Plus, truth be told, I had a feeling he was the only person I could truly trust, especially on a rogue mission.

"Pietro has to come along."