#stream private party by exo

[luffington]

private party ♡

➤ summary: It's too goddamn hot out, so Doflamingo surrenders his strength to join you in the pool. (18+)

➤ pairing: donquixote doflamingo x afab!reader

➤ word count: 2.5k

➤ warnings: dom!doffy, pool sex, belly bulge, exhibitionism, getting caught, degradation, established relationship (kinda), fem reader

➤ notes: i am so normal about the doffy pool scene where baby 5 is introduced. i barely ever think about it i swear.... also this is my softest doffy fic and he's still SO unhinged >:3

NSFW under the break! minors dni thank uuu

Dressrosa’s famously perfect weather had been overtaken by a mid-summer heat wave, and today was brutal. The sweltering sun turned the air hazy with heat. Not a single cloud stained the bright blue sky to provide shade from its burning rays. Staying outside for more than ten minutes was a daunting task. Nearly every member of the Donquixote Family was staying cool inside the spacious castle with its doors closed and curtains drawn.

Fortunately, the palace courtyard was an oasis.

An oversized pink flamingo float bounced against the side of the oval-shaped pool as you swam laps straight down the middle, keeping most of your body underwater. The scent of sunscreen and chlorine filled the air. Your lover (for lack of a better word) reclined on a padded couch, sipping a yellowish-pink tropical cocktail decorated with a paper parasol. His signature pink coat had obviously been discarded, but so had every item of clothing besides a tiny pair of shorts. Tan lines had no place on his godly figure.

The king of Dressrosa unashamedly admired you as he sunbathed. Even behind his sunglasses, you felt his lusty gaze trained on the way your body moved – and your skimpy little crimson bikini. You intentionally put on a show for him, arching your back as you dove underwater and making sure your tiny bottoms were pulled a bit too tight against your ass. 

Both of you were completely alone. Doflamingo had even sent away the servants who periodically refilled his drink and brought out poolside snacks. You weren’t entirely sure why he chose to keep the pool after he became king – the only ones who really used it were you and the women who hung around Señor Pink. The Family’s Devil Fruit users safely stayed dry on the surrounding lounge chairs, and Dellinger hated chlorine. Doflamingo did love his pool parties, though.

Getting lonely and bored, you swam to the edge of the pool, emerging near Doflamingo’s feet and wiping water out of your eyes. The blonde placed your own drink on the ground in front of you. 

“You jealous?” You grinned cheekily, sipping the chilled liquid through a neon pink straw. “It must suck to not be able to swim, especially on a day like today. The water is soooo refreshing.”

Doflamingo chuckled at your boldness. “I’ll live.”

“I’ve never even seen you go in.” He was certainly good at keeping you company while you swam, though, and his flamingo float was ideal for cuddling (and less appropriate activities). “You won’t drown in a few feet of water.”

“Water takes away my powers, baby.”

“Boooo.” You splashed a small wave onto his hairy legs. “You can be without your strings for five minutes. Get in here.”

If anyone else did that to him, he would’ve forced them on their knees and made them beg for mercy. Luckily, he found your bratty playfulness more amusing than irritating. Certainly better than an overly passive, demure lover. And the pool did look nice, beautifully shimmering under the relentless sun. It was even more tempting now that cool droplets of water ran down his calves.  

To your surprise, your lover sighed exaggeratedly but actually stood from the couch, stripping down to his underwear and revealing his half-hard clothed bulge. As you excitedly went to grab a blow-up beach ball on the other side of the pool, you could’ve sworn you felt something tugging at the strap tying the bikini around your neck.

Doflamingo kept a cautious hand on the railing as he strolled down the pool steps, hissing in relief at the cold water. Strength be damned, this felt incredible. He kneeled down and reclined backwards to submerge his enormous body, though he kept his head above water, and soaked off the undignified layer of sticky sweat coating his skin. Thank fuck his throne birthright wasn’t on some desolate winter island. 

You trotted back over to him while tossing the ball in your hands. “Doffy, I think my top is coming undone. Can you fix it?” 

Innocently turning your back to him and holding your hair away from your neck. He grabbed the thin red strings pitifully slipping out of their knot, but instead of tying them, the blonde let them fall past your shoulders. Before you could react, his big hands forced their way under your bikini cups to openly grope your tits. 

“Isn’t this what you wanted, pet?” He giggled maniacally as he tugged at your nipples. Being on his knees evened out your height difference a bit, so he curled his giant body over yours, his hard abs pressed flush against your back. Kneading your breasts with no gentleness, squeezing them like stress balls. “Getting all wet for me? Teasing me with this pathetic excuse for a bathing suit?”

You bit your lip – he wasn’t wrong, but you did want to play volleyball with him first. The ball fell from your hands and sadly floated away. 

Doflamingo pulled off your top and carelessly tossed it aside. “This tiny thing leaves nothing to the imagination, it’s fucking disgusting. I want you to wear it every day.” He pressed a quick kiss to your shoulder then bit down as he harshly twisted your peaked nipples. “But just for me.”

“P-Please, Doffy…” You wiggled your hips, squirming against him.

“Needy slut.” Laughing giddily, he licked across your teeth then plunged the wet muscle into your mouth. Pineapple juice and expensive white rum lingered on his tongue. One hand cradled your jaw to keep your lips locked as the other trailed down your tummy underwater, slipping under the waistband of your bottoms. 

Doflamingo teasingly caressed your mound then harshly pinched your clit, then tugged at the sensitive nub. “That’s for splashing me earlier.”

“Shit, I’ll splash you again,” you chuckled, letting your head fall back against his shoulder.

“You’re such a damn masochist, making me get creative with my punishments.” You nearly folded in half when his long fingers ran through your slit, but his arm wrapped around your waist to keep you upright. His free hand went back to caressing your tits. The blonde giggled in delight when he felt the slick between your legs – you were so responsive, so easy. “This doesn’t feel like pool water. You’re all worked up from a little kiss?”

“You’re all worked up from watching me swim, pervert.” Grinding your ass against his massive bulge to emphasize your point.

The blonde slapped your tit and you jerked against his tight hold. “It’s a good thing your bratty mouth looks so pretty wrapped around my cock, since you’re starting to piss me off.”

Maybe your alcohol-induced cheekiness had reached its limit. Doflamingo’s infatuation with you made him no less terrifying. 

He wasn’t in the mood for long and drawn-out foreplay, though he normally adored seeing you break and beg for his cock with tears in your eyes. But your tiny cunt couldn’t even take his tip without loosening it up first. Being blessed with a perfect body, godlike height, and a monster cock was such a curse.

Resting his chin in the crook of your neck, the blonde observed the way his nimble fingers expertly moved inside you. His string abilities were gone but he still worked his puppeteering magic inside you, scissoring your wet walls apart and prodding at your sensitive spot. The adorably wanton whines falling from your lips made his dick twitch. 

Once he decided you were ready, he easily flipped you around to face him and sat down on the pool steps with you in his lap. Doflamingo freed his heavy cock, letting it spring up and bounce against his abdomen underwater. Instead of taking off your bikini bottoms, he simply pushed them to the side to expose your cunt.

“I’ve never fucked in a pool before,” the blonde chuckled, grabbing underneath your thighs and easily manhandling you into position. Even with his strength drained away, he was still much stronger than the average person – those sculpted muscles weren’t just for show. “You better feel grateful, darling. I hardly have any ‘first time’s left.”

The thick tip of his cock forced its way inside, then a harsh thrust made your eyes roll back into your head. Water resistance made the movement less intense than he intended, but several inches of his massive length were snugly inside your pussy. He continued pulling you down until a pretty bulge protruded from your stomach, though he still wasn’t fully sheathed in you. Doflamingo sighed in relief and reclined back on his forearms, submerged in the turquoise water up to his pecs. “Go on, please your king.”

You braced your palms right above his flashy gold nipple piercings, found your footing, then started riding his dick at a slow pace, feeling every vein and ridge drag against your inner walls. The water rippled and lightly splashed around you with every movement. 

Doflamingo traced the outline of your lips, and you batted your eyelashes coquettishly as you sucked his finger into your mouth. Definitely a mistake – you pulled away with a scrunched up face and tried to spit out the overpowering taste of chlorine. He cackled and shoved two digits all the way down your throat, twisting them around to hear you gag. 

The king was in paradise. Summer sun beating down on his face, cool water coating his tanned skin, and his favorite toy bouncing on his cock. He was getting bored with the slow grinding of your hips against his pelvis, but he was too relaxed to do anything about it. Getting out of the pool and back into the unbearable heat was the last thing on his mind. 

Doflamingo grabbed the meat of your ass to abruptly take over control of your movements. He bobbed you up and down, admiring the way your tits jiggled before leaning forward to suck a nipple into his mouth. Fingers tangled in his hair as you pulled him closer, gripping tighter when he abused your tits even more.

He rubbed the outline of his cock in your stomach then pressed down on it. You bit back a debauched moan. An angry vein popped in his forehead before he grabbed your cheeks and squeezed meanly. “Don’t hide your cute noises from me.”

“S-sorry – mmmh!” You choked on your own spit when he suddenly slammed balls deep into you, his gigantic cock molding your insides to take him perfectly. 

The sound of a door opening echoed throughout the courtyard. You froze and anxiously sought out the source. Diamante emerged into the sunlight, his red eye makeup smudged by sweat and using his hand to fan himself. You leaned forward against Doflamingo to cover your breasts, not wanting to ignite his possessive nature, but made no other move. The blonde didn’t even flinch.

Diamante squinted in confusion. Sun-sparkled water blurred and distorted your lower halves, but what you were doing was incredibly obvious. “Doffy, why the hell are you in the pool?”

His boss was buried in your guts and that was what he was concerned about? 

Doflamingo grinned. “The water actually feels great. You should try it – oh, but not now. I’m a little busy.” The blonde jerked his hips harshly up into you, making you keen. Pink sunglass lenses stayed trained on his friend in an almost challenging way. “What do you want?”

The elite officer just huffed, making you believe that this probably wasn’t the first time he saw Doflamingo like this. An odd pang of jealousy struck you at the thought. He never caught you.

“It’s nothing serious, just find me when you’re done.” He snickered as he stepped back inside, calling over his shoulder, “I’ll keep Dellinger and Sugar away from here. Have fun.”

When the door slammed shut, Doflamingo pressed his lips to your ear and whispered, “I felt your pussy get tighter when he looked at us. You filthy whore. You like being watched? Or do you like being owned by me?” He sounded ecstatic. “I’ll fuck you on camera and broadcast it to the entire country if that makes you happy.”

A shiver ran down your spine. “That’s t-terrible.”

“No, it’s a fucking good idea. Then everyone’ll know who the prettiest girl in Dressrosa belongs to.” His surprisingly sweet comment was punctuated by his hips bucking into you, shoving the head of his cock insistently against your cervix. 

Doflamingo flexed his thighs and began using you like a fleshlight, setting a fast and rough pace while letting out incredibly erotic groans. His tanned skin looked irresistible, so you leaned forward to mouth along his thick neck and then kiss him passionately. Doflamingo eagerly reciprocated, rewarding you by pressing his thumb against your clit to rub circles against it. 

“My perfect little toy,” he panted between kisses, a long string of saliva hanging off the tip of his lengthy tongue. “Such a good girl, so eager to serve me. I couldn’t ask for anything more.” 

Something about the intense heat or the negative effects of water seemed to bring out his more romantic side – though there was nothing romantic about the way his dick bullied its way inside you. You gripped onto his shoulders for dear life, feeling your cunt throb around him. 

“Doffy, ‘m so close, p-please let me…” 

Beautiful eyes peeked out from under his sunglasses – lust-blown, predatory, and crazed. “Cum for me, pet.”

Lips slammed against yours as the building pressure inside you exploded. Your cunt gushed and soaked his cock in your juices, stars flashing behind your eyes. Doflamingo obsessively swallowed your moans, rubbing your clit through the aftershocks of your orgasm. He rutted his hips like a feral dog before he felt his balls tighten. Thick ropes of cum sprayed deep inside your walls and filled you to the brim. Through hazy eyes, you noticed how divine he looked at his peak – damp blonde hair sticking to his forehead and sun reflecting off water droplets coating his skin. Head thrown back in bliss, plush lips parted and letting out a heavenly, whorish moan.

Breathless and giddy laughter snapped you out of your trance. “Whatcha looking at, baby?” His cock was softening, but you felt it twitch from narcissistic delight.

You shook your head to clear your mind, dipped your hands in the pool, then ran your damp fingers through his hair. He instantly relaxed into your touch, sighing contentedly. “I told you it’s refreshing.” 

“And you were fucking right. Maybe I should use the pool more – it’s not like anyone is stupid enough to attack me in my own palace.” Strong, scarred arms wrapped around your shoulders and squeezed you tightly against him. Doflamingo hummed happily, then released you and nodded towards the couch. A grin never left his face and his shaded eyes never left yours. “Be nice and grab our drinks, then get right back here. Our private pool party isn’t over.”

[neonsbian]

2023 kpop recap! (tagged by @onmywayv & @28reas0ns & @xiaojuun <3)

groups you started stanning: i think the only one i actually stanned was tvxq but i became a casual fan of billlie, fromis_9, and riize

new ult biases? afraid none </3

idols who got most of your simping? .....ig its xiaojun considering i started learning how to make gifs for him 😭 but in terms of actual simping....idk! you tell me

most streamed groups?

wayv

shinee

seventeen

exo

ateez

most streamed solo artists? i think it might be key & taemin bc i think they're the only soloists that i listen to that released music this year lmao OH WAIT also jihyo <3

top kpop songs of the year?

every song on wayv's on my youth, private party by exo, byob (bring your own best friend) by billlie, attitude and in the mirror by fromis_9, nightmare by jihyo, perfume by dojaejung, underwater and one kiss by red velvet, live without you by key and guilty by taemin

top debut this year? i dont really keep up w the youngins these days so i guess riize? theyre the only group i know that debuted in 2023 and i think theyre all great performers lmao

choreos you learned? i dont learn choreo like that but i could do that part in rodeo where winwin and yangyang lift up henderys shirt 👍

albums/merch you bought: i don't buy albums or merch </3 though i rlly did consider buying on my youth for my babygirls

new mutuals you made this year: so many <3 i think i made even more weishentuals this cb

tagging @duovxq and @sunmisbf and whoever else feels like doing this

[whitechocolate]

2023 KPOP RECAP

tagged by my rinneth 🤍 @girlsgenerati0n

groups you started stanning?: - xg, kiss of life……that’s about it😭🙏🏼 i rly like triples’ music but i don’t stan them

new ult biases?: tvxq and loona like woahhhh

idol(s) who got the most of your simping?: exo LOL no surprise there😭

most streamed group(s): exo, shinee, blackpink, red velvet, triples, loona, snsd and nct127 bc of 2baddies and sticker😭😭😭😭

most streamed soloist(s)?: kai😭😭😭😭

top k-pop song(s) of this year (opinion or streaming, you choose): PRIVATE PARTY BY EXO!! slidin by kai girls capitalism by triples, newtopia by loossemmble, new emotions by infinite, rebel by tvxq, sugarcoat by natty

top debut this year: kiss of life by far

choreographies you learned: none🥰

albums/merchandise you bought: exist 🤩🙏🏼

tagging everyone hehehehehe

[dojaejung]

kpop recap of 2023 / tagged by @ye-xiu and @talksaxy thank you! 💞

Groups You Started Stanning?: seventeen!

New Ult Biases?: i wouldn't say they're my ult, but joshua and mingyu have joined dk in my svt bias list 🫶

Idol(s) Who Got The Most Of Your Simping?: i'm not sure about what simping means but i guess jaehyun?

Most Streamed Group(s): #1 is nct 127 for the second consecutive year, and then nct dream, nct dojaejung, exo, and twice

Most Streamed Soloist(s)?: taeyeon and baekhyun

Top K-Pop Song(s) Of This Year (Opinion Or Streaming, You Choose): my #1 song is kiss by nct dojaejung, followed by perfume. some other faves: rover by kai, skyscraper by 127, shooting star by xg, #menow by fromis_9, baggy jeans by nct u, private party by exo, god of music by svt, baddie by ive

Top Debut This Year: nct dojaejung!!!!!!!!! perfume aoty 🫶

Choreographies You Learned: none, i'm not the dancing type 😅

Albums/Merchandise You Bought: ay-yo, fact check, be there for me by 127, perfume by dojaejung. i am collecting jaehyun's smini albums 💞

New Kpop Mutuals You Made?: lots! 🫶💞💕💓

tagging: @littlesunshinedae @suuho @pinktaeyeon @onmywayv @bu99erfly @byunbaekhyunie @dokyunqsoo @baekhyunnybyun @firetrucks + anyone who hasn't done this already 🫶

[qazastra]

ok lots of stuff has come out since I was last actually active

zb1 debut I didn’t expect to like at all but was pleasantly surprised! in bloom has breakbeat so erm they got me w that one folks it makes me very happy 😔 it’s so funny that the digital album cover says YOU in the HAD though lol. mini giving a bit of 2nd gen revival but it is not a carbon copy, it’s got a unique sort of shine, very bright and summery! smart of the company to not immediately box them in by adhering too close to that trend

exo exist I enjoyed, it’s good, but honestly wasn’t blown away? private party and let me in are standout tracks, I love those!! cream soda also good I guess but didn’t grab me like those did. i heard they edited Cinderella since it dropped on streaming lmao. that one I liked a lot but did not like the lyrics I could understand so it did not go on my playlists. due for a relisten tbh esp since the edit… ill prob prefer the first way I heard it

istj genuinely fun to listen to, also not blown away by the album as a whole but it’s def worth a listen. very much LOVE the song SOS, tt is good, I even didn’t dislike the ending ballad (tho I wish they stuck to the guitar and piano and nixed the syrupy orchestrations). poison is incredibleeee I like it a ton. unusual sound for dream but because haechan is there they pulled it off perfectly. beware though there is some. how shall I say it. kpop-typical rap scattered across the album

odd eye circle version up ACTUAL sound of the summer 9/10. enough said

also I haven’t seen any of the music videos or performances for any of these since my internet has been un-ideal but I hope to get to it eventually!

[cheolhub]

disappeared while answering asks bc i felt really annoying for some reason but im here now to be more annoying and do some promo for my bf ☺️ stream exist by exo (specifically private party)

[peekbackstage]

I saw a lot of discussions around endorsements, income amd net worth recently. It is interesting that china doesnt have net worth disclosures like you get for folks in hollywood etc. I don’t even see it in forbes etc for china. For an idol, what are usually the sources of income in terms of highest to lowest? I always feel sad for XZ because i heard that endorsements are where the biggest income is and even small entertainers seem to be endorsing stuff front, left and center but someone like XZ does not have any new endorsements.

Disclaimer: The following post is informed by my experience in the music industry. 

For an idol, sources of income from highest to lowest include:

1. Endorsements  Endorsements are arguably the #1 source of income for most idols. More established idols who are extremely in demand can charge well over $1.5 million USD for one endorsement. But bear in mind that not everyone can charge that type of price, so the number of endorsements an idol has might not actually reflect how much money they really are earning. (An idol who only can charge $200,000 per campaign and has 30 campaigns is making less than idol who can charge $1 million per campaign and only has 7 campaigns.) 

2. Film/TV Film/TV can be extremely lucrative for idols. Andy Lau, for example, was offered $4.6 million USD ($30 million yuan) to act as a judge for The Voice of China - and that was only one show! 

3. Concerts/Touring  Touring is one of the single biggest money generators for idols. Artists such as EXO, BTS, and BIGBANG all have a $1 million USD per show guarantee. (Surprisingly, back in 2015, BTS only had a $100,000/per show guarantee! My, have times have changed...) 

If a tour has 10 stops, that’s $10 million in guarantees in an artist’s pocket. 

If the artist’s agent is really fucking good at their job, they will not only ask for a $1 million per show guarantee, but a versus deal that’s actually $1 million versus 90% of net profits, whichever is greater. 

If the promoter was someone like Live Nation, they would most likely be willing to agree to this, especially if we assume an average venue is around 20K capacity and an average ticket cost is around $175. That’s a projected $3.5M in gross alone per venue. Assuming there are 10 venues, that’s a total of $30.5M for the tour. 

Let’s further assume that the costs are around $2 million USD per show. That leaves us with $1.5M net. 90% net is $1.35M per show, or a total of $13.5M for the artist. The promoter would make a total of around $1.5M net for the tour - not a bad net at all. 

4. Merchandising Overall artist merch sales can be a great source of income for artists, assuming their artist has a clause that allows them to actually collect fees on the use of their image. (Certain labels do not actually offer this - especially Kpop labels such as SM.)  5. Appearance fees Idols can charge top dollar for appearance fees in general. (i.e. Showing up to a store opening, party, private concerts/meet and greets, etc.) Can be very lucrative. Private appearance requests can look like this:

Budget of [X] per artist, plus travel and expenses 

[X] song performance 

[X] min meet and greet for [X] people

[Location]

[Hotel]

1 selfie photo to share within group

Artist to sing “Happy Birthday,” along with friends - not recorded

[Potential dates] 

Usually, the buyers are extremely wealthy private individuals or companies.

6. Music sales/streaming  Artists really do not make much money off their music, unfortunately. That is just the reality of the music ecosystem these days! Music sales no longer account for the majority of the music industry’s revenue - especially with how much streaming adoption there is these days. (And with how poorly streaming platforms pay...)

7. Licensing fees Licensing fees to put an artist’s music in film/tv/advertising/etc. can be quite lucrative if you’re an artist with a publisher who a good licensing department or whose music is represented by highly motivated sync agent. Artist are also paid if another artist wants to cover their music and requests a license. 

8. PRO royalties Royalties collected by performance rights organizations for the artist for performance fees, mechanicals, publishing, etc. 

There are other means of earning money for an idol, but the above tend to be the most common. I could probably add more to this list, but I think it’s already gotten pretty long, so I’ll leave it here!

[inspired-by-the-music]

For You: Stand By Me

Taglist: @jineunwootrash @angels-from-california @jayjaydawn

If you would like to be added to the taglist of any of this blog’s works, please ask!

Recommended Reading: For You: 4 O’Clock; these works have separate, independent, but deeply interwoven timelines.

Chapter 11: The Girl Who Held My Heart

Sehun’s POV

Apparently, Manager Kim hosted an annual Christmas party attended only by Super Junior and whatever group she managed through debut or comeback. I only learned about it when EXO was invited. 

It had been over a year since Lei’s birthday party, where I learned that I had somehow fallen face-first in love with her. In that time, I figured that there was no escaping her— not when we worked at the same places, not when she was scattered through many of my memories, not when I had developed the habit of holding my breath until the next moment I saw her. In that time, I busied myself with the almost impossible task of telling her about the feelings that I couldn’t understand. In that time, I decided that maybe feelings aren’t meant to be analyzed and forced to abide by strict logic. 

So I walked into her house a year and a half after running from the fire in her touch with her gift in the pocket of my black blazer and three heartfelt words on the tip of my tongue. Those words had been dancing precariously on the edge, threatening to dive whenever I saw her backstage at Music Bank, whenever I saw her at company parties, whenever I saw her picture on social media, whenever I scrolled past our most recent text conversation. 

From the moment that I walked through the door and saw her— heard her singing some song with Yesung in the middle of the living room— I knew that I wouldn’t be able to bite them back again. Luckily, I arrived prepared to tell her anyway. 

I guess you could say that I had a one-track mind focused solely on speaking to Lei. Being new to the world of complex intimate emotions, I was hesitant to discuss them where anyone else could overhear. 

Finding a moment alone with Lei at that Christmas party proved even more challenging than securing her attention at the pool party. In the uncommon event that she wasn’t goofing around with Yesung, who must have been her favorite member of Super Junior, she was whispering something to Lucas, who was invited to the party even though he wasn’t a member of Super Junior or EXO. If she wasn’t with Lucas, then she was engrossed in conversation with Donghae, or she was drinking tea in the corner with Ryeowook, or she was helping Leeteuk and Shindong with their gingerbread village. 

An opportunity to speak with her privately presented itself when she walked into the kitchen, at Leeteuk’s request, to retrieve more gingerbread cookies from the oven. Forgetting to appear cool or somehow indifferent, I left Junmyeon, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol by the punch bowl in the dining room to follow after her. 

I filled the doorway, gasping when she hissed as she gripped the tray. I watched her jump away as the tray clattered to the ground with a metallic clank. Disappointment flickered through her eyes as they lowered to count the ruined cookies sprawled across the dark tiled floor. 

While she threatened to spill tears over a batch of cookies, I could only think about the burn to her fingers. As if it were a life-and-death matter, I ran to her, kicked the tray aside because it stood in my way, and took her hand into mine. 

“What are you doing?” Lei eyed me curiously as I tossed her red oven mitt onto the counter to assess the faint, almost non-existent blisters on her fingertips. 

Knowing that the glove had absorbed most of the oven’s heat, I still turned the sink’s faucet and guided her hand under the stream of cold water. “It’s called first aid, Lei.” I avoided looking at her because everything in me screamed that this wasn’t the time to confess, and meeting her eyes would force the words out involuntarily. “You’re hurt, and I’m trying to make you feel better.” 

“It doesn’t really hurt, though,” she said. “It only burned for, like, half a second, but I guess that’s all it took for me to ruin Leeteuk’s and Shindong’s cookies.” I could hear her frown even when I couldn’t see it. 

Despite her insistence that she didn’t need my help, Lei didn’t pull her hand out of my grasp under the water when it would have been all too easy. I held her gently, afraid to prod the injury. She didn’t flinch away from my touch even when I brought her fingertips to my lips. Her breathing hitched, but I didn’t recognize that sound as an expression of pain (maybe) because I was inclined to believe that she felt as I did— that she came to life when we touched. 

I hated to let her go, to feel that distance between us again, but there was no excuse to cling to her once she pulled her hand away from mine. I glanced at her for the briefest second, hoping for some sign that she wasn’t rejecting my affection, and I was disappointed to find that her gaze was already fixed on the floor. 

She dropped to her knees in her white dress, apparently unafraid of soiling it. She used her hands to sweep the gingerbread men back onto the tray, I assumed, to later drop them into the bin in the corner of the room. I lowered to help, and— unable to shake the thought that she looked like an angel in her white dress and golden halo headband— I blurted into the deafening silence, “You look beautiful.” 

Tray in hand, Lei rose to her feet first. In the moments before I towered over her again, she stared down at me in utter astonishment. I guess I can’t blame her. That was the first time I had ever been so direct in complimenting her, and I had done so without warning. I hadn’t even meant to say anything; it was just too true to leave unsaid. 

In a small voice, she asked, “Why are you saying that?” I wondered if she was blushing under her makeup. I wondered if she fought to press her ruby red lips into a frown. 

I hadn’t expected her to swoon at my every word or anything, but— 

No. Maybe I had come to expect that sort of reaction. I expected her to brighten at my compliments not because they defined her or because I thought so highly of my own opinion, but because— because that’s what she had always done. The frown that stared down at me was so far from what I anticipated or dared to dream about that I know my face burned a humiliated shade of crimson. 

Lei hadn’t rejected me— at least not outright— yet I hesitated to find my footing. Like a fool, I couldn’t look away from her long enough to make my way to the garbage can, so I dropped my handful of cookies onto the marble countertop. 

When Lei raised her eyebrows, and I realized that she expected me to answer her question, I stuttered, “I— because—” I couldn’t tell her that I loved her when she was looking at me like that. I bit down on my tongue. 

I don’t know what I would have said if Chanyeol hadn’t sauntered over to us, nearly tripping over his own two feet. 

“Isn’t this just adorable?” His words slurred together. Because he spent the entire night drinking from the punch bowl that Baekhyun spiked, Chanyeol reeked of alcohol. “Why don’t you two just kiss already?” 

From his place between us, Chanyeol slung one giant arm around me and the other around Lei, and he tried to force us together. I don’t think I have to tell you that I didn’t want Chanyeol to be the catalyst or witness of our first kiss even if he was too drunk to remember the details. Still, I didn’t resist his efforts with half as much frantic energy as Lei did. She writhed and frowned as she swatted Chanyeol away. 

Breathless from her aversion to kissing me, I fixed my gaze on the fragmented cookies on the counter. “Cut it out, Chanyeol.” I didn’t know that my voice could get so quiet. 

“No!” Chanyeol shook his head wildly. He must have made himself dizzy; when I glanced at him, his eyes were crossed. Leaning against Lei and nearly knocking her over, he rambled, “I don’t think he’s ever gonna tell you, so lemme just do it. Ya know, he’s been keeping us all up at the dorm, rehearsing his speech about love and rain and cotton candy—”

Suffice it to say that I hadn’t expected anyone to have overheard the confession I spent months preparing. Considering how much time, effort, and genuine emotion I had poured into putting my thoughts into words, it was insulting to hear Chanyeol summarize them in his drunken state. To tell you the truth, I would have been humiliated had Chanyeol— or anyone, for that matter— spoken about my feelings in a sober well-intentioned state. They were my feelings, and I had gone to great lengths to embrace them, and for somebody else to try to speak about them with authority and ease—

I dug my elbow into his ribs, and Chanyeol burped. “And I just knew that he was talking about you because he’s always had a thing for you even though I don’t know what he sees in you—”

As annoyed or upset or furious as I was that Chanyeol had once again diminished my love for Lei to the phrase ‘a thing,’ my concern deepened when he acted on his habit of insulting her. Although Lei didn’t so much as blat an eyelash or show any sign that she was affected by Chanyeol’s monologue— her frown had leveled into an apathetic line— I pried him off of her. 

Chanyeol laughed, I assumed, at having pushed my buttons. “That’s not true.” He smiled at Lei for the first time. That’s when her stone exterior started to crumble. Brow furrowing as a dimple formed in her chin, she took a step away from him. That meant she also took a step away from me as Chanyeol claimed, “I never really hated you.” 

Lei didn’t believe him. I could tell from the way she blinked and swallowed some lump in her throat before training a hardened glare on him. She looked so angry at a glance that I almost expected her to yell at him or at least say something. Upon closer inspection, however, I realized that she was chewing on the inside of her cheek and tears were welling in her eyes. 

I caught the briefest glimpse of her tears before she piled all of the cookies onto the tray and carried them over to the garbage can. While her back was turned, I took the opportunity to haul Chanyeol out of the kitchen, up the stairs, and through a door marked with an Avengers poster— Lucas’s room. 

Despite his claims that he wasn’t that drunk, Chanyeol collapsed onto the bed. As if he was without a care in the world, he folded his hands behind his head atop Lucas’s pillow. Something about that sight sickened my stomach. 

“I don’t really care if you’re drunk,” I seethed, knowing well that he was at least tipsy. I closed the door in the hope that none of our conversation would flood into the party below. “You couldn’t have picked a worse time to fill Lei’s head with a bunch of crap.” 

Waving a dismissive hand, Chanyeol argued, “Everything I said was true.” 

“That’s not the point!” Chanyeol flinched at my roar not because he felt any degree of guilt, but because he probably had the beginning stages of an alcohol-induced headache. Pinching the bridge of my nose as I pressed my back against the wall, I stuttered, “I— just— is everything a joke to you or something? I get it. You hate her—”

Again, Chanyeol said, “I never hated her.” 

“Right, whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “If you’ve known all along how much I love her— if you knew that I was planning to confess, then why would you step in and ruin everything? Why did you have to make everything so— so—” I didn’t know the right word to say, so I decided to ask, “Why did you make everything so awkward?” 

Chanyeol said, “You should be thanking me! It was already awkward! I was just trying to take some of the heat for you!”

I couldn’t even argue because Chanyeol was right about at least one thing: the conversation leading into the confession was not going well before he inserted himself. I had no idea what I was doing. Maybe, by some bizarre logic, I should have been grateful or somehow relieved that somebody else had addressed my feelings first, but I wasn’t. 

I don’t usually consider myself a perfectionist, but it was clear to me that all hopes of having an ideal romantic moment with Lei were lost. Maybe they were lost before Chanyeol meddled, but it was easier to blame him than to acknowledge that maybe— tragically— Lei and I were out of step again. It was easier to glare at Chanyeol than to imagine that maybe Lei had finally outgrown me now that I was so desperate for her. 

My hand closed around the doorknob, prepared to slam the door closed behind me, when Chanyeol spoke up. “Wait a minute. I want to give you something.” Because I didn’t turn around to accept it, he threw the poorly wrapped box at my head. 

“Ow.” I rubbed at the injury as I picked the box up from the floor. Now sitting up, Chanyeol dodged the wad of wrapping paper that I launched at him. I rolled my eyes at the box’s contents. “Really, Chanyeol? Mistletoe?”

“Yeah,” he smirked, “to help you with your confession!”

As I shook my head, I think that my frown deepened, but my growing sense of annoyance didn’t stop me from carefully tucking the mistletoe into the pocket that also housed Lei’s cotton candy charm. 

“Hey!” Chanyeol shrieked when I launched the mistletoe’s box at his head. “You’re so ungrateful!” My hand closed around the doorknob again, and Chanyeol jested, “Think of me when you’re kissing your little girlfriend, punk!”

Gagging, knowing well that Chanyeol would be the last thing on my mind if ever I got around to kissing Lei, I closed the door and left him to fall asleep in Lucas’s bed. Kissing Lei was not a part of my confession plan when I arrived at the party, and it seemed like less of a viable option when she hadn’t even reacted well to a compliment. Still, I had to smile when my fingers brushed against the mistletoe in my pocket. I had to smile at the daydream even if I didn’t know how to make it a reality. 

Downstairs, the party thrived as if I had never been humiliated by Chanyeol’s loose tongue. By the punchbowl, Baekhyun convinced Lucas to down one glass after another, and (apparently) Jongdae considered it some kind of competition that Jongin moderated in mild disgust. Yesung and Ryeowook were the centers of attention as they claimed the karaoke machine for a duet. Siwon was helping Leeteuk and Shindong with the finishing details of their gingerbread village before Kyuhyun snuck up to pluck mints and gumdrops from the buildings undetected. In a corner of the room, concealed by the bright blinking Christmas tree, Donghae watched as Manager Kim and Heechul threw their heads back in laughter before sipping from their matching red mugs of hot chocolate. 

I think I would have approached Donghae a.) had I known what to say to distract him from his jealousy or pain or whatever emotion etched those lines in his forehead, and b.) had I not remained devoted to speaking to Lei, who was not in the kitchen, living room, or dining room. 

The way I found her can only be described as a happy accident. Under the excited chatter played an unfamiliar piano melody that beckoned me into a den whose entrance was mostly obscured by the Christmas tree. Frowning and alone, looking quite small in comparison to such a large instrument, Lei sat at the grand piano. Even when I eased into the space next to her on the bench, she remained focused on the keys. 

I was almost hesitant to break the silence to say, “I didn’t know you played the piano,” as I watched her slender fingers create music without hesitation. Whatever she was playing— she knew it by heart. 

“I’ve played since I was a child.” She sounded very much like all adults do when they place distance between their present and past selves. “Donghae taught me to play the piano and the guitar.”

“I didn’t know,” I repeated, frowning. I guess I was bitter at being clueless about a fact that was likely common trivia for fans— people who hadn’t even met her. I guess I was uncomfortable with the thought that there was more to Lei than what I had always known. 

Lei shrugged. “It’s not really common knowledge or anything. I’ve never produced my own ballad or played the piano live, so I guess this is a hidden talent.”

“Why?” Noticing the frown weighing on her lips, I frowned too. “Why would you want to keep this—” I nodded to the piano— “hidden?”

Even when she broke her concentration to glance up at me through her eyelashes, Lei didn’t hit a sour note. I don’t think she was capable of doing that. “I don’t,” she argued shortly. “The agency thinks that upbeat dance songs suit my image. My job is to perform what they write for me.” 

Suddenly, I understood why her melody was so unique. “You write songs,” I said not as a question but as a general statement. 

I don’t know why my mouth fell open in surprise. Lei was poetic— artistic— and it only made sense that she would pour her soul into something as beautiful as music. 

She muttered,” I wouldn’t want to perform them anyway.” Her gaze fell back onto the piano keys, but her hands stilled. Although I hadn’t expressed any confusion or disbelief, she explained, “It’s one thing for people to hate me for music that I’m not emotionally attached to, but what am I supposed to do if people misunderstand the things that truly reflect me?”

In some ways, Lei and I were very different people, and in moments like that, our differences were obvious. Don’t misunderstand— I loved performing, but it wasn’t an emotional outlet for me. I didn’t have as much to say as she did, I guess, so I didn’t feel like I sacrificed much to be who the agency wanted. There was probably no shortage of criticisms of me to be found on the internet, but I had never been the kind to seek them out. I guess I was lucky enough to have never cared who liked me. 

Because I couldn’t force my mind to work the way Lei’s did, I didn’t know what to say to make her feel better. I squirmed under the weight of her sadness. “Well, what if somebody loves the things that truly reflect you?”

She removed her hands from the cold keys, pressed them flat in her lap, and stared down at them. “I don’t know, Sehun. To tell you the truth, I can’t really imagine that.”

I opened my mouth to tell her that she didn’t have to imagine being loved, but I didn’t get the chance to say anything. Brow furrowing, she studied me through narrowed eyes. “I’m sorry— are we just going to act like that— that stuff— that happened in the kitchen didn’t happen?”

“Could we?” I laughed at the tingling embarrassment swelling in my gut. Lei didn’t so much as crack the tiniest forced grin, so I tried to adopt a more serious expression. “Look, Chanyeol says stupid shit even when he’s sober, so—”

“Yeah.” Lei agreed instantly with the nod of her head. “Yeah, I would have to be stupid or delusional to believe that you could ever like—” She choked on her words and blinked, wincing as if I had struck her. “Well, I’d have to be the biggest fool to ever take Chanyeol or any other boy to heart, huh?” Her lips trembled as she forced them into a smile. 

I knew that Lei was on the verge of tears, so why didn’t I explain that Chanyeol hadn’t been lying or even exaggerating to laugh at our expense when he said that I liked her? I don’t know. 

Probably because I didn’t know what to say, because I didn’t trust my voice to improve the situation, because I wanted to skip ahead to her next sincere smile, I pulled her gift out of my pocket. It wasn’t wrapped as neatly as her birthday gift because I hadn’t sought Junmyeon’s help. Still, the glittering snowflake pattern on the white paper was pretty. 

Lei accepted it, and her thumbs traced over the snowflakes. They must have been pretty to her too. Her eyes, which were already glossy with tears, widened as she lifted the small cotton candy charm out of the box. 

“I promised I would get you another one,” I reminded her, suddenly unable to stand the silence even if it was safer than conversation. “Remember when you almost cried at Puroland because your cotton candy melted in the rain, and I had to throw it away?” She said nothing until I nudged her. “Remember?”

“Yes.” She smiled this sad sort of smile that made me wish I hadn’t said anything at all. “I remember. I told you, I remember everything you’ve ever said to me.”

I hoped that the things I said— the things that she remembered in vivid detail— were worthwhile. I hoped that I was more than a memory, but more than that, I hoped that the me of the past was as good in hindsight as I planned to be in the present and future. Because I didn’t know how to express those hopes with words, I reached for her hand and fastened the new charm to her bracelet. 

Determined to create a moment worth remembering, I forced my voice into a light whisper. It wasn’t as hard as I imagined it would be. “You know, this one will never melt. You can keep it forever. Now, that day can be a happy memory.” 

Lei pulled her hand out of my grasp to wipe at her eyes. “Thank you, Sehun. This is so thoughtful. I wish I had something to give you.” 

Lei was never really content to just receive a gift. She had this idea that every favor had to be repaid and every kindness had to be reciprocated. Somebody needed to tell her that love is giving without expecting anything in return, but I didn’t know that well enough to say it back then. 

I don’t know why she stood from the piano bench, but I followed, likely stirred by the fear that she would run to someplace that I couldn’t follow or hide in someplace that I couldn't find or couldn’t quite reach. 

“I don’t need anything,” I told her as I reached for her hand again, desperate for some kind of contact— for some guarantee that she wouldn’t leave even if it was just temporary. “But I know something that I want.”

Lei tilted her head to look up at me, lips puckered as if she read my mind, knew my every wish, and decided to grant them. “What is it?” 

The idea flooded my mind so quickly that I didn’t have time to consider whether it was good. I fished Chanyeol’s mistletoe out of my pocket and dangled it over our heads. 

Lei admired it with round eyes, and her jaw dropped, and she gasped, “Is this real?”

She was adorable. All apprehension melted from her eyes, and she looked at me like she used to: like I hung the moon she loved so much. It didn’t matter that I knew I never once stood among the stars because she made me believe with one glance that I had. For maybe a fraction of a second that might as well have lasted forever, the fear of being a source of heartbreak or disappointment faded next to the blinding desire to be everything she ever dreamed of. I know desires like that don’t last forever and that no plan to completely restructure oneself for another is ever successful, but I felt it, and maybe that counts for something. 

While counting the stars in her eyes, melting at the wild imagination that I put them there, I wondered which of our many moments she remembered most clearly then. Was it the first— when she called me handsome without hesitation as only a child can? Was it the rain at Puroland since I had just revived that memory with a gift? Was it the time I told her to stop following me? I hoped not. Was it the heart I had imprinted on her hand?

I never asked, so I don’t know. 

As for me: every moment blurred together to paint the portrait of this person who was the most precious to me as I took the first step in filling the distance between us. 

Should I be embarrassed to admit that she was my first kiss? I’m not. As I told you, I was wary of everything romantic, and— although she made my heart jump and ache— Lei was the first girl I ever trusted to affect me. To move me. Maybe she will be the only one. Of course, you can never be certain about these things, but I cannot imagine that anyone else will ever hold the heart that she cradled in her hands for those moments that our lips touched— the heart that followed her even if it could only do so in the quietest shadows. 

I’m lucky that nobody in Super Junior caught us because I swear I kissed her for an eternity, forgetting as my heart hammered in my chest that we were never really alone. A miracle happened. I forgot that somebody is always watching, and I never quite remembered again. Or maybe I didn’t care who saw my admiration. Maybe it wouldn't have been the worst thing for somebody to see who truly mattered to me. 

When the moment ended, I didn’t want to let it go. That’s foolish, I know, but that’s a mistake everyone seems to make at least once: clinging to time whose only instinct is to flee. Ever evasive time. Ever fleeting time. Why do we try to cling to things that were never ours? It’s foolish, selfish, futile, but I understand why. It’s one of those things that you can’t explain; it’s the kind of knowledge that you only have after experience. I hope you never understand why. 

I opened my eyes first. I couldn’t bite back joyous laughter at the sight of her. She wasn’t even doing anything. She was just standing there, hands balled into fists at her sides, eyes closed. 

Her eyes snapped open at the sound of my laughter. I was too embarrassed by my outburst to meet her gaze. The silence was deafening and deepening my burning blush, so, dropping the mistletoe back into my pocket, I tried to make conversation. 

“So, was that your first kiss?”

She didn’t respond, but the answer was all too obvious. 

“It was, wasn’t it?” My cheeks hurt from smiling. 

She still didn’t respond, and I still couldn’t look at her. 

“Don’t be shy.” Like I was some expert in romance and affection, I told her, “You were good at it.” 

By then, her silence was making my stomach tighten in knots, but I wouldn’t ruin the moment by expressing anything other than happiness. I tried to joke or flirt or say anything to fill the silence. “You should be proud of yourself.” 

I finally looked at her. I think I winked. Then, I really couldn’t face her. “You just kissed the handsomest person you’ve ever seen.” 

At that, Lei didn’t even giggle. When I glanced down at her, she didn’t spare the tiniest smile. She must have been in shock. 

“I bet you wanna forget all about your dating ban, huh?” I asked, entirely too hopeful that she would break her silence to say ‘yes.’ “Just for me?”

I never got to hear Lei’s response— if she even held one behind her blank facial expression— because Minseok beckoned me to his side in the doorway. He said, “We have to leave.” 

“What?” I frowned. Having no intentions to leave when the night was young just because Minseok said so, I asked, “Why?” 

Flatly, Minseok answered, “Because Junmyeon said so.” He likely assumed that I would say nothing to challenge our leader. 

“Junmyeon?” My frown twitched. “I saw him earlier, and it looked like he was having a pretty good—”

“Stop arguing, Sehun!” Minseok rarely lost his temper, but his outbursts were always terrifying. 

I glanced back at the piano to see if Lei was watching him berate me as if I were a child, but she was nowhere to be found. Within seconds, she vanished. My heart sank. I had taken for granted that she would wait for me as she always had. Reasoning that the kiss was perfect, I never seriously considered the possibility that I had done anything wrong. 

Remembering that I spent much of my life running from my feelings, I figured that Lei was similarly afraid. Then, because I didn’t want to scare her or push her too far, I left with Minseok after dragging Chanyeol out of Lucas’s bed. For some reason, I clung to the belief that everything would work out in time even after Minseok tried to correct me. 

On the drive back to our dorm, he said, “The kiss was cute,” and I was still too ecstatic to be embarrassed that there had been a witness to such an intimate moment. 

I was still too numb with joy to care when Chanyeol, who had been laying on his back in the backseat, sat up to yell, “You kissed her?” I wasn’t even annoyed by the smirk that he must have donned when asking, “You used my mistletoe, didn’t you?”

I was still smiling like an idiot, tracing my fingers over my lips, when Minseok continued, “But everything you said afterward—”

As I finally caught on to his harsh tone, my smile started to falter. It started to crumble around the edges. I looked at Minseok and shrank under his piercing glare when he broke his gaze from the darkened road before us. I think it must have been raining. I remember turning away to watch raindrops race down the window. 

Minseok tried to speak softly, but his anger/disappointment was still all-too-audible. “I get that you’re new to romance and all, but you can’t just make fun of Lei whenever you get embarrassed.” 

“Embarrassed?” My eyes narrowed in confusion. “I wasn’t embarrassed! Well, maybe I was a little embarrassed when I laughed—”

“You laughed?” I could hear Chanyeol’s frown. Looking back, I think that’s when I should have considered Minseok’s point more carefully. 

Instead, I jumped to my defense. “It wasn’t like that! I was just happy, and—”

“Ah, I got it!” Chanyeol clapped his hands on the back of Minseok’s chair. “You were just being a big dweeb again! Relax, Minseok. Sehun just turns into a big giggling dork whenever he’s around his little girlfriend.”

Shrilly, reaching a pitch that made me and Chanyeol cringe, Minseok argued, “I will not relax!” Minseok cleared his throat with a sigh. “Whatever your intentions were, Sehun, you really hurt Lei’s feelings. I watched her eyes get watery, and—”

Because I didn’t want to believe him, I wouldn’t even let Minseok finish the sentence. “I was just kidding around.” 

Minseok nodded. “Right. Well, I’m telling you that Lei doesn’t know that. I called you away from the piano because I knew that she was about to cry, and—”

“What?” My eyes cut away from the window to dig into Minseok. “You said that Junmyeon wanted us to go home. You lied to me?” 

Minseok’s face turned pink in the moonlight. He repeated, “Lei was about to cry!”

Chanyeol gasped, “You came between Sehun and his girlfriend?” 

Minseok tried to explain to my furious blush and scorching glare, “I didn’t want to discuss this where anyone at the party could hear! I’ll take you back to the party, Sehun, if you promise to apologize, and—”

“Apologize?” I gaped at Minseok, almost laughing although nothing was funny. “Why should I apologize? I’m not sorry for kissing Lei, and I’m not sorry for flirting afterward, and—”

“You’re not sorry?” Minseok’s brow furrowed. Something about the way he looked at me took my breath and voice away. “Even though you hurt Lei?” 

Speechless, I shook my head, determined to believe that I hadn’t hurt Lei— that I hadn’t ruined what should have been a happy memory. The problem is: in hindsight, I can admit that Minseok understood Lei’s feelings better than I ever did. 

[morkmywords]

Not Really a Cinderella Story | Royalty au | Exo | Sehun | Part 12

Masterlist | Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 8.5 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12  Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 [FINAL]

Royalty!AU

Length: 3.2k

Note: uhhhhhh hi, so school ate my life and i have no time anymore but this is finally finished even if its a shorter part also its not edited but when is it ever

I also want to that @haveanotherkpopblog and @theonethatcompletesyou  you have supported me since i first started this fanfic and blog in  general and you guys are my main motivation most of the time and i’m so sorry i can’t update more regularly but I hope you like this

Warnings: nothing really

Pairing: Sehun x Reader

Genre: Fluff/angst

Summary: When a strange string of not so great events somehow and you with a job at the palace punching the wrong people can be not so great.

The tapping of your slippers against the old marble floors was the only sound aside from your breathing as you once again stepped into the ballroom. The murals which decorated the domed ceiling of the cavernous room seemed to be covered with a grey filter, blurring the once bright colours which were now peeling away. You had been in Oclaria’s palace for almost two months now but the image of the forgotten ballroom haunted you as if the spirits of the people who once danced within it were buried in your heart. Ever since you had crossed the border between the two countries it felt as if a thin sheet had been thrown over your eyes, everything felt so familiar yet the sheer fabric only let you see shapes, hiding the details from your eyes.

Soon after entering the palace you quickly learned about the king who had passed, Sehun’s uncle. Long before you or Sehun were born the Queen, whom the King loves dearly, finally was pregnant with a child to the joy of the entire kingdom. Parties were held at every street corner, that is, until the baby was born still and took the Queen’s life with it. Heartbroken, the King locked himself away, sending every courtier back to their own territories and dismissing all the staff, keeping only those necessary to make sure the palace didn’t crumble around them. Nobody heard or saw from the King aside from those few servants, no parties or meeting were held and thus the palace was forgotten. Instead, being taken over by years upon years of dust and cobwebs.

The staff you arrived with easily outnumbered the current ones left by the King five to one, they were given the option to leave or stay when Sehun arrived and much to everyone’s surprise many chose to stay. With that, slowly the palace began to fill up again, more staff were hired, the stables and gardens were restored, and slowly the lords and ladies once again took up their places at court. The palace quickly transformed from the desolate and erie place you arrived to, when the grime was scrubbed away and a new coat of paint was slathered on the walls the palace was beautiful, more so than even the ice palace of Matus. But the ballroom was left untouched along with most of the east wing, which made it your favourite place to spend the long days. Though more often than not, you found yourself spending most of your time alone, the days were never predictable. For a man who was supposed to be preoccupied with learning how to govern a country Sehun sure managed to find a lot of free time. Almost every morning you would wake up to find a gift addressed to you waiting in front of your door from none other than the soon to be king. The gifts ranged from anything as simple as a bouquet of your favourite flowers which as the note explained, he grew in the gardens himself, or a new book for you to read. Sometimes he would to to such extremes as leaving a huge arm chair so plush and cushioned you had no idea how it would fit through your door, and gifting you an entirely new wardrobe full of hand crafted gowns, all with sleeves that would cover to your wrists. When there weren’t gifts there was always a letter left, your name scrawled on the envelope in familiar hand writing asking you to meet later in the day or apologizing and promising to make it up to you if he’s too tied up with work.

His favourite place to go with you was the palace gardens, a maze of paths twisting in between rows of flowers and plants that stretched almost as far as the palace itself. The first time you visited it with him he told you that the previous queen had loved to garden too, so much in fact, that as a wedding gift his uncle had ordered the expansion of the garden to add six different expansions, spring, summer, autumn, winter, day, and night. Over the course of her life the gardens were constructed one by one. Spring which bloomed every year with a myriad of colours in the warm rain, summer which was filled with ponds, a large oak tree with a swing hanging off one of the large branches in the center. Autumn was lined with orchards and other crops, providing endless produce that will last throughout the season and into the winter, speaking of which, winter was a forest of pine and spruce trees, pond in the middle freezing over and creating a skating rink. Day and night were the last two gardens going to be created but as soon as day’s glittering greenhouses and sparkling fountains were completed, the Queen died along with the baby girl they were going to name Luna after the moon which she admired. Overwhelmed by grief, the king had ordered the construction of the Night garden to be stopped and over the years it never resumed and thus fell into disrepair.

One of his other favourite things to do was to steal you away to the palace kitchen under the rouse of cooking a meal together when in reality you usually ended up doing all the work as Sehun played around with whatever weird vegetables he could find. Sometimes you two would wander around the city together, or you two would just sit in each other's company reading in the library. As much as spending time with Sehun made you bubble over with joy and your heart soar it didn’t.

And it all started when he first asked.

“Will you marry me?”

The chuckle in his voice and smile on his face would suggest there was a light heartedness around his question but with one look in his eyes you could see how it was weighing on him. With a seriousness you had never seen before. Jokingly you brushed it off, making some excuse about him snoring to loud but he kept asking. And with each time he asked the seriousness grew no matter how much you turned him down. There was always a nagging at the back of your mind, making your stomach churn with nerves so you kept turning him down.

The fact that most of the palace residents knew of your infatuation wasn't doing much good either. Many of the staff members fawned after your relationship, telling you their endless dreams of finding a significant other that was as sweet as Sehun was to you but as much as the mention of your relationship to the prince made you squirm they weren't the problem. The real problem was the court officials, it was no secret that they were pushing Sehun who had only just been crowned king to get married and for good reason too. He had to solidify his standing as king and the best way to do that was to find and marry a queen so there was always a seemingly endless stream of eligible women in the palace and yet through all their finery he turned them all down. And it was no secret to anyone that you were the reason why. The glares weighed heavy on you like a clock made out of led, and even if you were with Sehun, whether he noticed and chose to ignore it or was simply oblivious to the watching eyes their gazes still found their way deep inside of you. As the little worms of doubt and anxiety buried themselves in the lining of your stomach, arms, legs, and even through your spine and up the back of your neck you firmed your decision. As the seriousness in Sehun’s proposals grew so did the seriousness in your answers, there was no way you could marry him and become queen, he couldn't forgot marrying some rich young lady from a family of power and marry you, some lowborn commoner, it wouldn't be fair to him or the people of his country.

Fortunately the people of Oclaria are much kinder than those of the court. Lord Cha had grown to be much more of a father figure in your life over the past while. Whenever you weren't occupied, which was more often than it may seem, he took you to see the wonder of Oclaria. It was the second largest kingdom on the continent after the freezing plains of Lokya which were bathed in eternal winter that it said to have been cursed by a with centuries ago when the continent had no kingdoms, or kings, or queens. And after so many trips through the large cities with bustling markets and the quiet countryside with hills covered in flowers you had barely even seen a third of it.

----

Moonlight filtering through the stained glass windows which lined the walls and creating colourful patterns on the floor was the only thing illuminating the hallway aside from the quickly melting candle you clutched in your hand as you scurried through the hallway. You found yourself in quite similar situations for longer than you can remember at this point, nerves wriggling inside you and refusing you sleep until the early hours of the morning. Books had been the solution to quelling the pent up writhing of your emotions and you had taken refuge in Lord Cha’s private library as he too, was often a stranger to sleep due to reasons unknown. Earlier in the month you had borrowed a book titled ‘Greatest Composers of the Five Continents’ and as interesting as it was, it was incredibly long and you had finally finished it. Feeling ever so enlightened about the history of music in your great world you pushed open the door and stepped into the library. Without looking up from the diary on his lap Lord Cha offered you a wave a greeting which you quickly returned before diving into the shelves of books.

A few moments later after having successfully shelving your borrowed book and grabbing a new one you were settled in the generously stuffed armchair across from him.

“Y/n I wanted to ask you about something,” Lord Cha said as he put the cap back on his pen. He cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses before placing whatever he was writing about on the table side him. “In two days I'm heading back to the territory I'm from, Iyle. It's the largest territory in Oclaria, covering the border to Edesea and all of Oclaria’s southern coast and islands. It's been without a lord for many years since the line died out and I've been put in charge of governing it and I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope you'll come with me.”

You stared at him blankly for a few moments before clearing your throat. You shifted in your seat as your mind raced, to what you didn't know, but it was flying so fast you couldn't even form a coherent sentence.

“Lord Cha, It sounds amazing- I'd really love to go- but the thing is-” you sputtered out.

“It's okay darling,” he cut you off with a chuckle as he reached over to pour you a cup of tea.

“I really would love to go-”

“I know, it's hard to decide in this moment. You have a lot to consider seeing as you've only just arrived in Oclaria and you'd be leaving the man who you loved enough to follow here for who knows how long as I don't know yet when we will return to the capital,” He smiled at you, “It's a hard decision to make and I don't expect you to make it now,” he straightened his tie and stood up, “We’re leaving at Sunset in two days time, meet us at the southern gate if you wish to come.”

With that he bid you goodnight and returned to his chambers and you returned to yours.

----

The darkness of your room didn’t seem dark. You stared at the ceiling, then rolled onto your side and looked out the window, before rolling onto your stomach and burying your face in the pillow. The soft glow of the sunrise was making your room brighter and brighter and with the light came the realization that you hadn’t slept at all the night before. You tossed and turned endlessly because of the nightmare that was your reality at this point in time. Lord Cha had invited you to go with him and you almost agreed on the spot but you hesitated. As much as you wished to escape the empty palace that seemed to be closing farther  in on you every day, trapping you within the confines of the gilded walls and luxury, you couldn’t make the call. A small nagging in your heart which you had been feverishly trying to burry over the past weeks had unearthed itself and halted you from making a decision because if you left, would you ever be able to come back?

The sun had risen when you finally pushed yourself from under the quilt and got dressed, it felt almost mechanical as you went about your daily routine.  You felt empty, why were there no tears? No frustration and indecision? Why were you nothing but a shell?

When the realization finally dawned on you it walls you had created came crashing down all at once and dread filled the pit of your stomach.

No letter came that day, nor did any gifts and you were thankful. A decision hadn’t been reached by the time you drifted into sleep in the late morning and slept the rest of the day away.

The nagging invaded your dreams and filled them with all your unanswered questions.

Should you leave Sehun alone?

Should you leave without telling him?

What if while you’re gone he gives in to the court and marries some noble lady?

Why do you care if he marries a noble woman? He’s a king after all…

Why do you care so much about him?

----

You had to make the decision today, your bag was packed and shoved under your bed but would you take it or not?

You were pacing back and forth in your room trying to decide what to do when a knock on your door interrupted you.

“You’re needed in the garden,” the guard said, “please follow me.”

Nodding you trailed behind him as he offered up no more information. The two of you snaked through the familiar halls to the garden, a path you had gotten very familiar with very quickly. Time seemed to slow as you stepped through the glass door and around the rose garden to be met with a beautiful sight. Sehun waiting for you, sun dancing on his face like rays of pure delight as a smile lit up his entire face when he spotted you. The guard who escorted you hung back as he rushed to meet you, grabbing your hand in his own and kissing your cheek lightly. Today something seemed different about him, maybe it was the changing seasons but he seemed lighter than before, like the world wasn’t resting on his shoulders anymore.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” he whispered and instinctively you smiled brightly back at him.

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long,” you said.

He chuckles and clutched your hand tighter, “You’re right on time, we have to go somewhere but first promise me you won’t ask any questions, okay?”

You raised an eyebrow, “Should I be worried?”

“I don’t think so,” he answered pretending to scratch his head which made you laugh, “just trust me.”

You eyed him up and down. Pretending was hard especially since his joy was so infectious, so you nodded and stuck out you pinky which he gratefully took before pulling you after him. You walked for what seemed like only seconds when his hand clutched yours like it was the only thing that mattered. Another twinge was felt in you heart as you spotted a small gazebo which is where he seemed to be headed.

He dropped your hand and stood across from you, you shivered from the loss of the warmth and comfort against your palm, “Sehun, wha-”

“You promised not to ask questions, right?” he said. There was a different tone in his voice now, something between excitement and nervousness, but why? “Just let me talk first.”

You nodded as the atmosphere suddenly changed into something more serious.

“You know I love you right?”

You nodded again.

He took a deep breath, “I know I’ve been asking you this over and over for the past few weeks, and I know you needed time to think but I think a month is enough time to make a decision. Y/n, will you marry me?”

You felt you heart shift, “Sehun…….. No.”

HIs demeanour changed. He was dripping with something you couldn’t place and towering over you even if he was only a few inches taller than you in reality.

“Y/n I’ll give you one more chance, this is the last time I’m going to ask, so what’s your answer!” he asked.

It was as if the whole world had stilled, “No.”

“WHY?!” he exclaimed, latching onto your wrists in desperation, “Tell me why you have to keep turning me down when I love you so much!?”

“No Sehun,” you cried out trying halfheartedly to wrench yourself free from his grasp, “I can’t-I can’t be a queen!”

“WHY?!”

“Because I don’t love you!”

You could see his heart shatter in that very moment as his arms fell to his sides and his eyes went blank, focusing on something in the distance.

“Sehun-”

“LEAVE!” he bellowed, “I don’t want you in my sight!”

No tears fell as he spun away from you and you could do nothing but back away in horror at what you had just done. As you sprinted back into the palace your tears fell freely even if his didn’t because in that moment when the words tumbled from your lips you knew they weren’t true. Even if you had never been sure enough before to say it out loud you always knew deep down. And as soon as you opened your mouth you knew that you did love him, possibly more than he loved you. But now you had broken him beyond repair so you pulled your bag from under your bed and raced out to where Lord Cha said he would be waiting, hoping desperately they hadn’t left yet as the sun was beginning to set.

He didn’t question the tears which were still streaming down your face bus helped you onto a horse before setting off.

When the palace walls disappeared into the darkness behind you, you also felt the last shreds of something inside you snap.