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shavingformen · 1 year ago

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🪒🔥🧔‍♂️ Looking for a luxurious grooming experience? Look no further than a hot shave. This traditional method of shaving has been around for centuries and is the epitome of a pampering experience. Not only does it leave you with a clean-shaven look, but it also leaves your skin feeling smooth and refreshed. 🧼💆‍♂️👌 The hot shave process involves a series of steps that are designed to give you the ultimate grooming experience. First, your face is prepped with warm towels and a facial scrub to open up your pores and soften your facial hair. Then, a rich lather is applied to your face, followed by a precise shave using a straight razor. After the shave, a cold towel is applied to close your pores, and a moisturizing balm is applied to soothe your skin. 💆‍♂️🤵💼 A hot shave is not just a grooming experience, it's a luxurious ritual that leaves you feeling refreshed and confident. It's the perfect way to start your day or to unwind after a long week. So, if you're looking for a pampering experience that will leave you looking and feeling your best, book a hot shave today.1. The Benefits of a Hot Shave: Why It's Worth the Extra CostExperience a luxurious hot shave for a smooth and refreshing feel. Here are the benefits: Hot towels open pores and soften hair for a closer shave Eliminates razor burn and ingrown hairs Reduces skin irritation and inflammation Relaxing and rejuvenating experience Hot shaves also provide a deeper exfoliation and moisturization, leaving your skin looking and feeling healthier. It's worth the extra cost for the added benefits. 🔥💆‍♂️2. Step-by-Step Guide: How to Prepare for a Luxurious Hot ShaveBefore starting your luxurious hot shave, there are a few things you should do to prepare: Wash your face with warm water and a gentle cleanser to remove any dirt or oil. Apply a pre-shave oil or lotion to soften your beard and protect your skin. Fill a sink or basin with hot water and soak a towel in it. Apply the hot towel to your face for a few minutes to open up your pores and soften your beard even more. Now that you're prepped and ready, it's time to start the shaving process: Apply a high-quality shaving cream or soap to your face, using a brush to create a rich lather. Use a sharp, high-quality razor to shave with the grain of your beard, using short, gentle strokes. Rinse your razor frequently and reapply shaving cream as needed. After you've finished shaving, rinse your face with cold water to close your pores and pat dry with a clean towel. Finally, take care of your skin post-shave: Apply an aftershave balm or lotion to soothe and moisturize your skin. Use a facial moisturizer to keep your skin hydrated and healthy. Clean and dry your razor thoroughly to prevent rust and bacteria buildup. Enjoy your smooth, luxurious hot shave! 🪒🧔🏻‍♂️ 3. The Art of Lathering: Choosing the Right Shaving Cream for Your Skin TypeChoosing the right shaving cream for your skin type is crucial for a smooth and irritation-free shave. Here are some tips: For oily skin, use a shaving cream with a light texture and oil-free formula. For dry skin, opt for a cream with moisturizing ingredients like aloe vera or glycerin. Sensitive skin requires a fragrance-free and hypoallergenic cream. When lathering, use a shaving brush to create a rich and creamy foam. Apply it in circular motions, covering the entire shaving area. For a closer shave, use a cream with a high lubrication level. For a more refreshing experience, choose a cream with a cooling effect like menthol. Don't forget to rinse your face with cold water after shaving to close the pores and prevent irritation. Experiment with different brands and formulas to find the perfect match for your skin type and personal preferences. Happy shaving! 🪒🧔4. The Perfect Shave: Tips for Achieving a Smooth and Comfortable FinishWant to achieve a perfect shave? Follow these tips: Start with a clean face and warm water to soften hair. Use a high-quality shaving cream or gel to lubricate the skin. Shave in the direction of hair growth to avoid irritation. Use a sharp razor and rinse frequently to prevent clogging. Apply a moisturizing aftershave to soothe the skin. Avoid alcohol-based products that can dry out the skin. Consider using a pre-shave oil for added protection. Don't forget to exfoliate regularly to prevent ingrown hairs. Use a gentle scrub or brush to remove dead skin cells. Moisturize daily to keep skin healthy and hydrated. Invest in a good quality razor and replace blades regularly. Remember, a perfect shave takes time and patience. 🧔🏻‍♂️💆🏻‍♂️5. Aftercare: How to Soothe Your Skin and Extend the Life of Your Hot ShaveAftercare is crucial to maintain a smooth, healthy skin after a hot shave. Follow these tips: Apply a cold towel to soothe the skin and close the pores. Use an aftershave balm or lotion to moisturize and protect the skin. Avoid touching your face or exposing it to direct sunlight for a few hours. Extend the life of your hot shave by taking care of your razor and blade: Clean your razor after every use to prevent bacteria buildup. Replace your blade regularly to ensure a close, comfortable shave. Store your razor in a dry, cool place to prevent rust and damage. Invest in quality shaving products to improve your hot shave experience: Choose a shaving cream or soap that suits your skin type and preferences. Use a shaving brush to create a rich lather and exfoliate the skin. Consider using a pre-shave oil to soften the hair and protect the skin. Remember to listen to your skin and adjust your routine accordingly: If your skin feels dry or irritated, use a heavier moisturizer or switch to a gentler product. If you experience razor burn or ingrown hairs, try using a different razor or blade. Consult a dermatologist if you have persistent skin issues or concerns. 👍 Follow these aftercare tips to enjoy a smooth, comfortable hot shave every time. 👍6. The Ultimate Hot Shave Experience: What to Expect at a High-End Barber ShopGet ready for the ultimate hot shave experience at a high-end barber shop. Here's what you can expect: Relaxing atmosphere with comfortable seating and soothing music 🎶 Expert barber who will discuss your preferences and skin type before starting the shave 💈 Hot towels and pre-shave oil to soften your beard and open up pores 🔥 Traditional straight razor shave with precision and attention to detail ✂️ Cooling aftershave and moisturizer to soothe and hydrate your skin 🧴 Advice on how to maintain your smooth shave at home 🏠 Don't settle for a mediocre shave. Treat yourself to the luxury of a high-end barber shop for a truly unforgettable experience. In conclusion, a luxurious hot shave is an experience that every man should try at least once in their lifetime. It provides a level of relaxation and pampering that cannot be replicated with a regular shave. The hot towel, rich lather, and skilled hands of a professional barber create a truly indulgent experience. So, why not treat yourself to a hot shave and feel like a king for a day? It's a great way to unwind and take a break from the stresses of everyday life. Plus, you'll leave the barbershop feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and looking your best. 🔥💈💆‍♂️ https://shavingformen.com/experience-a-luxurious-hot-shave/?_unique_id=6499c2db6d0e8

#Uncategorised #hottoweltreatment #luxurioushotshave #mensgrooming #straightrazor #traditionalbarbershop #aiomatic_0

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shaveessentialsllc · 2 years ago

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🚨 NEW BLOG POST ALERT 🚨 Looking to step up your shaving game? Our latest blog post explores the differences between shaving cream and shave soap to help you find the perfect fit for your shaving routine. Check it out now at on our website! #shaveessentials #shavingtips #shavingblog #shavecream #shavesoap . . . #shaving #shavingtips #mensgrooming #skincare #selfcare #barbershop #beard #beardcare #beardedmen #groomingtips #mensfashion #facialhair #safetyrazor #straightrazor #wetshave #shaveoftheday #razorsharp #veteranowned #veteranownedbusiness #classicshaving #wetshaving #shavelikeaman #mensgrooming #gentleman #men https://www.instagram.com/p/Co045_it0uv/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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salvationtattoogallery · 2 years ago

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Done by Matty Esswein. @matty_esswein #salvationtattoo #tattoo #rva #va #richmond #traditionaltattoo #traditional #bright_and_bold #americanatattoos #swallowsndaggers #underground_tattooers #tattooculturemagazine #fullcolor #colortattoo #nailedit #ripper #skinrip #straightrazor #creeper (at Salvation Tattoo Gallery) https://www.instagram.com/p/CoP9Lz-OvGc/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#salvationtattoo #tattoo #rva #va #richmond #traditionaltattoo #traditional #bright_and_bold #americanatattoos #swallowsndaggers #underground_tattooers #tattooculturemagazine #fullcolor #colortattoo #nailedit #ripper #skinrip #straightrazor #creeper

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iamghostwriter · 2 years ago

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That’s when I pulled my concealed knife from my nostril and slit the would be muggers throat. #protectyaneck #igcomicfam #igcomics #igcomicfamily #igcomiccartel #igcomicscommunity #igcomiccollector #liquidswords #straightrazor #igcomicbookfamily #panelalchemist #readmorecomics #readmore #supportindiecomics #supportindiecreators #supportlocalartists #supportindieauthors #createimproverepeat https://www.instagram.com/p/Cl2lhdIMmY3/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#protectyaneck #igcomicfam #igcomics #igcomicfamily #igcomiccartel #igcomicscommunity #igcomiccollector #liquidswords #straightrazor #igcomicbookfamily #panelalchemist #readmorecomics #readmore #supportindiecomics #supportindiecreators #supportlocalartists #supportindieauthors #createimproverepeat

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swifty-fox · 3 months ago

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⁶⁾ “i can’t believe it took a night like that for you to let me help you with something.” for Clegan please ? 🥹❤️ Only if it inspires you of course ❤️

uhhh guess this is a sequel to this other bathing scene

have another 1k of the buckies being cute

"Tell me something Buck," John's fingers swipes across Gale's bottom lip, presses a dimple into the plush center and replaces it with his lips for a brief chaste kiss, "how come you can't grow hair nowhere but your chin and I can everywhere but that."

Gale hums, closes his eyes as the razor scrapes along his adam apple in an audible rasp. He waits for John to pull the blade away, wiping it on a clean cloth to speak, "Guess I'm just lucky, John."

"Bestowed with looks that would make the Greeks and the Romans weep. Talented, smarter than any man in the room, perfect blue eyes, a full head of hair, the prettiest pink cock and hole I've ever seen-"

"Bucky"

"-and you're calling yourself lucky 'cos you can grow a beard in a week unlike the rest of us women."

He's laughing, the boney curve of his wrist pressed to his mouth to hide his grin and he hardly cares he's getting shaving cream there because Bucky's grinning at him with the full wattage of his mirth, face crinkling like expensive silk into a beautiful expression Gale knows by heart.

"Are you going to just flirt or are you going to help me shave this damn mustache?"

"Hmm," John squints his eyes playfully at him, leaning around his body to swish the straightrazor through the washbasin in the tiny London hotel room they'd gotten for the weekend.

Gale's chin is captured once again in a confident grip, sharp blade dragging across his skin with tender precision. His thighs are spread to make room for the broad spanse of John's body and it would be an easy movement to grind their hips together and turn this interaction altogether something different.

"You should keep the 'stache," John says, pulling away to clean the blade again, "It makes you look dashing."

"It makes me look like a child who can't grow hair anywhere else but his upper lip."

"You wound me, Buck."

The smile is an unwilling thing. His problem has always been that he can't resist John Egan's personality. The looks were a boon but he thinks the other man could have been plumb ugly and Gale would have still been his devoted man from the first moment.

He smiles at John and can't drop it even as John glides the knife across his throat.

He watches John's face and ponders the trust, the vulnerability. The sudden image of John tilting the blade too sharply, flesh zippering open under the tool turned weapon. He'd let him, Gale thinks. He'd let John do that to him, give him his blood and his life and everything else he might have. Unable to suppress his shudder when John presses the razor to his throat again, it makes John pause.

"I love you," He says, openly and blandly and for the first time aloud because it hadn't felt safe to do so while they were at war.

John, who had turned to rinse the razor, drops it with a clatter and Gale is subject to the glorious experience of a John Egan who is struck speechless.

"I-"

"Is that okay?" Gale interrupts, struck by a sudden nerve. Maybe this wasn't what they were supposed to be. Maybe it was too bold, too open for the secrecy that was asked of him.

"Is it - Jesus, Buck-" John kisses him, smearing shaving cream between their chins, "You're insane. I love you. Of course it's fucking okay. I love you." he repeats it a third time, as if he'd been holding them back and now could finally set every instance free.

Gale smiles, lazy and tired and warm under the hands fo his fella. John kisses him again and laughs.

"I can’t believe it took a night like this for you to let me help you with something"

#tweaked the dialogue a bittttt #clegan #buck x bucky #swiftywrites #mota #masters of the air

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villagecigarcompany · 2 years ago

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Happy St. Patrick’s Day!?! Well, maybe not, but we’re excited to welcome back the FILTHY HOOLIGAN SHAMROCK! The Black Market “Filthy Hooligan Shamrock” Triple Barber Pole features a flavourful bright green Candela wrapper leaf, celebrating the luck of the Irish. The additional wrappers on these unique creations generate a unique flavour experience enjoyed annually by enthusiasts worldwide. Incredibly limited quantities of the Filthy Hooligan Barber Pole were released in 2023, and we’ve got our hands on some, just for you! Better late than never… Village Cigar Company & Barbershop Burlington, Oakville & Guelph VillageCigarCompany.com #cigar #barber #BurlON #BurlONT #DTBurlON #Oakville #DTOakville #Guelph #premiumcigar #handmade #walkinhumidor #getitatVCC #barbershop #barbershopconnect #barberlife #cutthroat #straightrazor #shave #haircut #beard #toronto #cigarshop #milton #classic #shoplocal #betterlatethannever @alecbradleycigar @dtburlingtonon @oakvilledowntown @downtownguelph #happystpatricksday 🍀🍀🍀 #welcomeback #limitededition *note this photo is from our personal archives. this year the cigars come to us with standardized Canadian plain packaging bands, in bundles. the cigars are the same, just not as pretty on the shelf.* https://www.instagram.com/p/CqQt0b9psj6/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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istumpysk · 2 years ago

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Operation Stumpy Re-Read

ADWD: Cersei II (Chapter 65)

Cersei paced her cell, restless as the caged lions that had lived in the bowels of Casterly Rock when she was a girl, a legacy of her grandfather's time. She and Jaime used to dare each other to climb into their cage, and once she worked up enough courage to slip her hand between two bars and touch one of the great tawny beasts. She was always bolder than her brother. The lion had turned his head to stare at her with huge golden eyes. Then he licked her fingers. His tongue was as rough as a rasp, but even so she would not pull her hand back, not until Jaime took her by the shoulders and yanked her away from the cage.

"Your turn," she told him afterward. "Pull his mane, I dare you." He never did. I should have had the sword, not him.

Coward. Lost his hand anyway, should have just pet the lion.

Bowels!

+.+.+

"No harm will come to me today," Cersei said when the day's first light brushed her window. "Only my pride will suffer." The words rang hollow in her ears. Jaime may yet come. She pictured him riding through the morning mists, his golden armor bright in the light of the rising sun. Jaime, if you ever loved me …

The fearsome Cersei Lannister continues to wait for her knight to come rescue her.

Maybe we're all looking for a saviour.

+.+.+

Septa Unella beckoned to the novices. They brought lye soap, a basin of warm water, a pair of shears, and a long straightrazor. The sight of the steel sent a shiver through her. They mean to shave me. A little more humiliation, a raisin for my porridge. She would not give them the pleasure of hearing her beg. I am Cersei of House Lannister, a lion of the Rock, the rightful queen of these Seven Kingdoms, trueborn daughter of Tywin Lannister. And hair grows back. "Get on with it," she said.

[...]

Cersei hoped that would be the end of it, but no. "Remove your shift, Your Grace," Septa Unella commanded.

"Here?" the queen asked. "Why?"

"You must be shorn."

Shorn, she thought, like a sheep. She yanked the shift over her head and tossed it to the floor. "Do what you will."

Love when Daenerys and Cersei lose their hair at the exact same time.

I am Cersei of House Lannister, a lion of the Rock, the rightful queen of these Seven Kingdoms, trueborn daughter of Tywin Lannister. And hair grows back.

I know she eventually breaks, but this is still a mighty impressive showing from her.

+.+.+

When the silent sister crept between her legs with the razor, Cersei found herself remembering all the times that Jaime had knelt where she was kneeling now, planting kisses on the inside of her thighs, making her wet. His kisses were always warm. The razor was ice-cold.

Kind of love Arya finding blades warm while Cersei and Daenerys always describe them as being ice-cold.

Still as stone, she thought. She sat unmoving. The cut was quick, the blade sharp. By rights the metal should have been cold against her flesh, but it felt warm instead. - The Ugly Little Girl, ADWD

+.+.+

"Does Your Grace find this amusing?" said Septa Scolera.

"No, septa," said Cersei. But one day I will have your tongue ripped out with hot pincers, and that will be hilarious.

Believe her.

+.+.+

"Will I be permitted a pair of sandals?" she asked. "The streets are filthy."

"Not so filthy as your sins," said Septa Moelle. "His High Holiness has commanded that you present yourself as the gods made you. Did you have sandals on your feet when you came forth from your lady mother's womb?"

"No, septa," the queen was forced to say.

No, but Jaime was with her.

+.+.+

A bell began to toll.

Lol.

+.+.+

She had come to Baelor's Sept a queen, riding in a litter. She was leaving bald and barefoot.

🌺 symbolism 🌺

+.+.+

Their [Warrior's Sons] captain knelt before her. "Perhaps Your Grace will recall me. I am Ser Theodan the True, and His High Holiness has given me command of your escort. My brothers and I will see you safely through the city."

Cersei's gaze swept across the faces of the men behind him. And there he was: Lancel, her cousin, Ser Kevan's son, who had once professed to love her, before he decided that he loved the gods more. My blood and my betrayer. She would not forget him.

Believe her.

+.+.+

The morning air was thick with the old familiar stinks of King's Landing. She breathed in the scents of sour wine, bread baking, rotting fish and nightsoil, smoke and sweat and horse piss. No flower had ever smelled so sweet.

I know a foul flower that's even sweeter.

+.+.+

It came to her suddenly that she had stood in this very spot before, on the day Lord Eddard Stark had lost his head. That was not supposed to happen. Joff was supposed to spare his life and send him to the Wall. Stark's eldest son would have followed him as Lord of Winterfell, but Sansa would have stayed at court, a hostage. Varys and Littlefinger had worked out the terms, and Ned Stark had swallowed his precious honor and confessed his treason to save his daughter's empty little head. I would have made Sansa a good marriage. A Lannister marriage. Not Joff, of course, but Lancel might have suited, or one of his younger brothers. Petyr Baelish had offered to wed the girl himself, she recalled, but of course that was impossible; he was much too lowborn. If Joff had only done as he was told, Winterfell would never have gone to war, and Father would have dealt with Robert's brothers.

There's the author casually telling the reader what Littlefinger's real plan is, but nobody in the fandom seems to care.

Can we talk about the fact that Littlefinger offered to wed Sansa when Catelyn was still alive? Imagine it happened, imagine Catelyn survived the Red Wedding like she was supposed to.

Anyway, not a whole lot of personal reflection happening in this chapter. It almost feels like this whole effort is futile.

+.+.+

Cersei had been a year old when her grandfather died. The first thing her father had done on his ascension was to expel his own father's grasping, lowborn mistress from Casterly Rock. The silks and velvets Lord Tytos had lavished on her and the jewelry she had taken for herself had been stripped from her, and she had been sent forth naked to walk through the streets of Lannisport, so the west could see her for what she was.

Though she had been too young to witness the spectacle herself, Cersei had heard the stories growing up from the mouths of washerwomen and guardsmen who had been there. They spoke of how the woman had wept and begged, of the desperate way she clung to her garments when she was commanded to disrobe, of her futile efforts to cover her breasts and her sex with her hands as she hobbled barefoot and naked through the streets to exile. "Vain and proud she was, before," she remembered one guard saying, "so haughty you'd think she'd forgot she come from dirt. Once we got her clothes off her, though, she was just another whore."

If Ser Kevan and the High Sparrow thought that it would be the same with her, they were very much mistaken. Lord Tywin's blood was in her. I am a lioness. I will not cringe for them.

The queen shrugged off her robe.

We have no choice but to stan.

+.+.+

They were looking at her, all the hungry eyes. But what were they seeing? I am beautiful, she reminded himself. How many times had Jaime told her that? Even Robert had given her that much, when he came to her bed in his cups to pay her drunken homage with his cock.

I see cracks in the foundation.

+.+.+

"Whore!" someone cried out. A woman's voice. Women were always the cruelest where other women were concerned.

lmfao

+.+.+

He [Kevan Lannister] wanted this. Him and the High Sparrow. And the little rose as well, I do not doubt. I have sinned and must atone, must parade my shame before the eyes of every beggar in the city. They think that this will break my pride, that it will make an end to me, but they are wrong.

Let's be real, Kevan's lucky somebody else killed him before Cersei could.

+.+.+

Their path took them past the statue of Baelor the Blessed, standing tall and serene upon his plinth, his face a study in benevolence. To look at him, you would never guess what a fool he'd been. The Targaryen dynasty had produced kings both bad and good, but none as beloved as Baelor, that pious gentle septon-king who loved the smallfolk and the gods in equal parts, yet imprisoned his own sisters. It was a wonder that his statue did not crumble at the sight of her bare breasts. Tyrion used to say that King Baelor was terrified of his own cock. Once, she recalled, he had expelled all the whores from King's Landing. He prayed for them as they were driven from the city gates, the histories said, but would not look at them.

Will always include Targaryen criticism.

I'll admit, I don't know why the story constantly references Baelor the Blessed. If there's an obvious parallel, I'm clearly missing it.

+.+.+

"Harlot," a voice screamed. Another woman. Something flew out of the crowd. Some rotted vegetable. Brown and oozing, it sailed above her head to splash at the foot of one of the Poor Fellows. I am not afraid. I am a lioness. She walked on.

+.+.+

"Hot pies," the baker's boy was crying. "Getcha hot pies here." Septa Scolera rang her bell, singing, "Shame, shame, shame upon the sinner, shame, shame."

+.+.+

A man just ahead was selling skewers of roast meat from a cart, and the procession halted as the Poor Fellows moved him out of the way. The meat looked suspiciously like rat to Cersei's eyes, but the smell of it filled the air, and half the men around them were gnawing away with sticks in hand by the time the street was clear enough for her to resume her trek. "Want some, Your Grace?" one man called out. He was a big, burly brute with pig eyes, a massive gut, and an unkempt black beard that reminded her of Robert. When she looked away in disgust, he flung the skewer at her. It struck her on the leg and tumbled to the street, and the half-cooked meat left a smear of grease and blood down her thigh.

Save some for Daenerys!

+.+.+

Then someone flung a dead cat over the Poor Fellows and Warrior's Sons alike. The carcass hit the cobbles so hard that it burst open, spattering her lower legs with entrails and maggots.

Cersei walked on. I am blind and deaf, and they are worms, she told herself.

Should I be reading into these objects being thrown?

+.+.+

"All hail the royal teats!" Words are wind, Cersei thought. Words cannot harm me.

Rise above it, girl.

+.+.+

"Your Grace." The captain of her escort stepped up beside her. Cersei had forgotten his name. "You must continue. The crowd is growing unruly."

Lol.

+.+.+

Cersei could see the Red Keep again, shining crimson in the morning sun atop Aegon's High Hill. I must keep walking. She wrenched free of Ser Theodan's grasp. "You do not need to drag me, ser." She limped on, leaving a trail of bloody footprints on the stones behind her.

She was walking down a long hall beneath high stone arches. She could not look behind her, must not look behind her. There was a door ahead of her, tiny with distance, but even from afar, she saw that it was painted red. She walked faster, and her bare feet left bloody footprints on the stone. - Daenerys IX, AGOT

Hahahaha.

+.+.+

"My wife has sweeter teats than those," a man shouted. A teamster cursed as the Poor Fellows ordered his wagon out of the way. "Shame, shame, shame on the sinner," chanted the septas. "Look at this one," a whore called from a brothel window, lifting her skirts to the men below, "it's not had half as many cocks up it as hers." Bells were ringing, ringing, ringing. "That can't be the queen," a boy said, "she's saggy as my mum." This is my penance, Cersei told herself. I have sinned most grievously, this is my atonement. It will be over soon, it will be behind me, then I can forget.

God this is brutal.

Up until this point they've been calling her cunt, whore, sinner, traitor, abomination, and brotherfucker among other things.

When they shift focus to her body she starts to lose it.

+.+.+

The queen began to see familiar faces. A bald man with bushy side-whiskers frowned down from a window with her father's frown, and for an instant looked so much like Lord Tywin that she stumbled. A young girl sat beneath a fountain, drenched in spray, and stared at her with Melara Hetherspoon's accusing eyes. She saw Ned Stark, and beside him little Sansa with her auburn hair and a shaggy grey dog that might have been her wolf. Every child squirming through the crowd became her brother Tyrion, jeering at her as he had jeered when Joffrey died. And there was Joff as well, her son, her firstborn, her beautiful bright boy with his golden curls and his sweet smile, he had such lovely lips, he …

That was when she fell the second time.

Everyone's come to judge!

Missing: a bard dressed in blue, the High Septon, Robert's bastards, House Stokeworth, Senelle, Alayaya, 38 men with dwarfism, etc. etc. etc.

+.+.+

Words are wind, she thought, words cannot hurt me. I am beautiful, the most beautiful woman in all Westeros, Jaime says so, Jaime would never lie to me. Even Robert, Robert never loved me, but he saw that I was beautiful, he wanted me.

The house is toppling over.

Since her introduction as a point of view character the text has continued to spotlight Cersei's declining looks and body,

To Jocelyn she said, "Tighter. Cinch it tighter, you simpering little fool." - Cersei III, AFFC

plus her age.

"Westeros has two queens now, and the young one is as beautiful as the old one," boomed Lyle Crakehall, an oaf of a knight who oft reminded Cersei of her late and unlamented husband. - Cersei III, AFFC

This is Jaime losing his sword hand, or Tyrion (potentially) losing his tongue.

+.+.+

She did not feel beautiful, though. She felt old, used, filthy, ugly. There were stretch marks on her belly from the children she had borne, and her breasts were not as firm as they had been when she was younger. Without a gown to hold them up, they sagged against her chest. I should not have done this. I was their queen, but now they've seen, they've seen, they've seen. I should never have let them see. Gowned and crowned, she was a queen. Naked, bloody, limping, she was only a woman, not so very different from their wives, more like their mothers than their pretty little maiden daughters. What have I done?

There was something in her eyes, stinging, blurring her sight. She could not cry, she would not cry, the worms must never see her weep.

Not as beautiful of a queen as your younger self, eh?

+.+.+

And suddenly the hag was there, standing in the crowd with her pendulous teats and her warty greenish skin, leering with the rest, with malice shining from her crusty yellow eyes. "Queen you shall be," she hissed, "until there comes another, younger and more beautiful, to cast you down and take all you hold most dear."

And then there was no stopping the tears. They burned down the queen's cheeks like acid. Cersei gave a sharp cry, covered her nipples with one arm, slid her other hand down to hide her slit, and began to run, shoving her way past the line of Poor Fellows, crouching as she scrambled crab-legged up the hill. Partway up she stumbled and fell, rose, then fell again ten yards farther on. The next thing she knew she was crawling, scrambling uphill on all fours like a dog as the good folks of King's Landing made way for her, laughing and jeering and applauding her.

Oof.

Of course the prophecy immediately follows Cersei reflecting on how old and ugly she feels compared to her younger self.

+.+.+

"My son," she cried. "Where is my son? Where is Tommen?"

"Not here. No son should have to bear witness to his mother's shame." Ser Kevan's voice was harsh. "Cover her up."

Then Jocelyn was bending over her, wrapping her in a soft clean blanket of green wool to cover her nakedness. A shadow fell across them both, blotting out the sun. The queen felt cold steel slide beneath her, a pair of great armored arms lifting her off the ground, lifting her up into the air as easily as she had lifted Joffrey when he was still a babe. A giant, thought Cersei, dizzy, as he carried her with great strides toward the gatehouse. She had heard that giants could still be found in the godless wild beyond the Wall. That is just a tale. Am I dreaming?

No. Her savior was real. Eight feet tall or maybe taller, with legs as thick around as trees, he had a chest worthy of a plow horse and shoulders that would not disgrace an ox. His armor was plate steel, enameled white and bright as a maiden's hopes, and worn over gilded mail. A greathelm hid his face. From its crest streamed seven silken plumes in the rainbow colors of the Faith. A pair of golden seven-pointed stars clasped his billowing cloak at the shoulders.

A white cloak.

He's getting the dragon treatment!

Hard to give her a destructive animal, this will have to do. Mother of giants.

+.+.+

"Your Grace," he said, "it is so good to have you back. May I have the honor of presenting our newest member of the Kingsguard? This is Ser Robert Strong."

"Ser Robert," Cersei whispered, as they entered the gates.

"If it please Your Grace, Ser Robert has taken a holy vow of silence," Qyburn said. "He has sworn that he will not speak until all of His Grace's enemies are dead and evil has been driven from the realm."

Yes, thought Cersei Lannister. Oh, yes.

Finally a knight worthy of Cersei of House Lannister.

Qyburn naming him Robert is so funny.

Final thoughts:

GOODBYE MOTHER.

I hope to see you again someday. 😥

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#operation stumpy re-read #adwd #cersei ii

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