#straight ppl belong on the ground

[emilyolixia]

you don’t go to space if you’re straight.

[neteyamsilly]

i will soften every edge, hold the world to its best | 3

summary ;; Sullys stick together. You learn the hard way what happens when you don't. PART 2 | PART 4 pairings ;; dad!jake sully x reader, mom!neytiri x reader, sully family x reader genre ;; pure angst and family feels notes / explanations ;; descriptions of blood and violence incoming, beware! shout out to the ppl who predicted the stuff in this chapter LMAO so um... i couldnt tag everybody who asked when i said i would... there's apparently a limit to how many people you can tag. please forgive me 😭 im not taking any tagging requests anymore since i cant do it. so sorry about that,,,, seriously also, thank you so much for 1160 followers! i still cant fucking believe it... daddy issues solidarity 🤙🏻🤙🏻

“Hi there Corporal, you hear me? Yeah, I know you do. As much as I’m charmed by the fatherly love I could give you a big old sloppy wet kiss, we have unfinished business.”

Rain covered the rustling of clothes and the click-clacks of readjusted weapons as concentrated silence hung in the air, thick and heavy like the morning mist swallowing up the forest.

No answer. 

What face could your parents be making right now? Heartbeat in your ears, you tried to hide your shame by looking down, but a jerk on your queue set you straight. the avatar holding you digging his gun sharper in your neck.    

“What, cat got your tongue all of a sudden?” The leader’s stare found yours. “Let me give you a quick remedy.” 

They’d linked your device into another for the sound to be relayed outside and the voice detection range could be wider, in other words, they wanted your father to hear what was happening to you. Your braid was yanked as if the one pulling it wanted to snap it right off your skull, no amount of training could stop the scream torn out of you — all the show just for him. 

The line was deadly still, save for some rustling, crackling static that you could have easily mistaken for hissing.

A ghost of a smile shadowed the man’s face, he extended his rifle to tip your chin up. “Guess we’re gonna have to be louder than that to wake daddy up sweetheart.” 

“Stop!” Father yelled, the unexpected timing of it made you jump. That earned him a group chuckle from the avatars around you. “Stop.”

He talked. He didn’t leave you to fend for yourself in this. Thank Eywa!

“That was fast,” the captor behind you said. 

“Thought you’d have forgotten English by now, playing native.”

“...Quaritch?” 

Quaritch. That awful, awful man from the stories your mother killed? Spider’s father? But… But he was dead. How could sky people know how to cheat death?

“In the flesh.” 

Father’s voice wavered, you’d think he was scared if you didn’t know any better. “That’s impossible.”

“Back from the grave just for you, Jake.”

“Then I’ll just have to put you right back where you belong.”

The squad of avatars openly laughed at that, boisterous, confident, arrogant. 

This was Toruk Makto they were openly mocking. None of them would last for one minute in front of him and yet—

“Quite the teary lovers reunion we’re havin’ here, but you got busy while I was gone, huh?” He looked down at you again, yellow eyes filled with mirth. “I have this tiny bird here we plucked right out of the air. Imagine my surprise to learn she’s yours. Is this the only one, or you got yourself a litter now?”

Silence again. 

“What do you want?”

“Straight to the point as always.” The smug smile momentarily twitched into an unamused, withheld resentment. This man was nearing the end of his capacity to keep taunting. “I don’t think I’ll tell yet. You know I love to be a tease.”

Your ears rotated upwards in treacherous hope at your father's next words. “If you touch one hair on my daughter’s head I swear to god—”

“You exchanged your god for this shithole, Jake. Let’s not kid ourselves now.” Any hint of playing around was gone, now, eyes fixated on something on the ground ahead. “Your daughter will be my guest for a while. Think of it as summer vacation. Don’t worry, unlike the Na’vi, we’re very hospitable.” His thumb brushed over a button. “Until next time.”

“Fucking bastard—”

With one beep, the call was over. Quaritch was touching the band around his neck this time. “Iron Sky, Blue on Actual. We are standing by for extract, over.” 

You began to tussle against the avatar behind your back. “No! No! Let me go!” 

“Be advised. We're bringing in a high value prisoner.”

“Dad’s really gonna flay her alive this time, I can’t wait.” Lo’ak, positioned just behind the flap of the tent to not be seen from the outside as he peeked with one eyeball just in case, was watching his parents vehemently yell at each other in whispers that started out loud, but got hushed probably to not reach him and his siblings. Aggressive limb gestures were flying in the air, and at one point, his mom had tried to run off somewhere and was forcefully stopped. 

Dad was currently pacing around like a wild animal with one hand permanently stuck rubbing his face, and mom turned away from him, holding her forehead. “They’re really going at it, huh?

Kiri was not amused with his insistence to breach their privacy. “What’s so interesting about watching this kind of thing?”

“Catharsis?” He remarked in English, feeling sophisticated. “You remember Spider talking about it? Purification and emotional cleansing through relief that you’re not going through the horrible tragedy, the character on stage is.” 

“You’re normally so dumb.” Lo’ak bore his fangs at her matter-of-fact tone of voice. “Your brain only comes back on when it’s about chaos.”

“I’m petty, and what about it?” A tilt of his head to dare Kiri to ask for her point, then his attention was thwarted by an incomprehensible cry from his mother. She was pushing dad from his arms, furious like Lo’ak had never seen before as the upset man tried to hold her more. “Look at mom and dad breathing fire at each other! You think they’re discussing how to punish her?”

“Stop spying already skxawng, mom will be angry if she sees you. We’re supposed to be in bed.”

“Shut up, I’m trying to listen here!” His ears were tilting at every angle to make out any words that reached to him as nothing but a cluster of broken sounds. “Why did they have to go far?” 

“Because they wanted to be away from peeping toms like you?”

“And you’re still here too, so?” Lo’ak gave his sister a meaningful look. “I know you wanna see too.”

“Ugh!” Kiri shoved out her tongue at him, eyes dead. “And it’s not funny, by the way! They are fighting. Stop being happy about it.”

He knew they were fighting about his older sister, and that she’d get all the heat and fallout from it the moment she was back. Lo’ak’s head was full of what he could get out of it, or what to ask her for in return for helping her out in her detention. So satisfying to be the sibling who wasn’t in trouble. He should do it more, actually. “It is funny when it’s not about me.” 

“You’re sick for taking joy in another’s suffering.”

“Oh, I’m doomed, then.” Kiri took whatever fat was on his thin arm between her thumb and forefinger, and twisted. Lo’ak had to blink away the tears that rushed to his eyes, snatching his limb away from the displeased girl and pushing her away in return — he was annoyed at how much that hurt, why was that so damaging for no reason? “Yeouch! What the hell?”

“Will it kill you to practice mindfulness once in a while?” 

He raised his voice’s pitch to mock the wobbly, ear-scratching whine of yours, and exaggerated his body movements to match, too. “I hate you!”  

“Gross.” She tried to shove him, he caught her hands in the air, pushing her back and getting the spiteful annoyance of his sister as a result. “Dad was actually hurt by that.” Lo’ak’s eyes could roll down the hills by themselves the way that sounded, but Kiri, as always, was bothered so inexplicably. “I don’t like this. I have a bad feeling.”

That bad feeling was the herald of dad’s upcoming cranky ill-temper and what would follow after you inevitably had to come crawling back home with tail between your legs, Neteyam dragging you from the scruff of your neck. Lo’ak was refusing to sleep so he could enjoy the fight. 

“Me personally, am over the moon, ikran duty is so gonna be off my hands. For months.” He halted at the idea that just went off in his head, tail swishing with the hype. “I wanna tell Spider. I’ll go get him.”

“Absolutely not. You sneak off now and they’ll laser-focus all the anger on you!” Kiri was pointing a warning hand at him, but slowly lowered it, one corner of her mouth twitching up. She was holding back amusement. “Hey, you know what? Nevermind, you can go. I want you to go. I have to see this.”

“Ha-ha.” Lo’ak’s tail stuttered, losing enthusiasm. “Attempted murder, much?”

“Guys, what’s going on…”

Upon the unexpected voice that wobbled its way into their conversation, they both looked down to see Tuk gripping her weaved blanket with one hand and dragging it on the floor as she made her way to them, the other rubbing her eyes one by one so sleep dripping from them would fly away.

“See, you woke her up! What do we do now?”

“You woke her up by yelling, why is it my fault now?”

“I didn’t, you—”

“Did too.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“Did n—”

“Guys…” Tuk pulled on Kiri’s hand, and the foreign object she was clutching the whole time distracted Lo’ak. It must have dug into the older one’s skin that she carefully picked it up to inspect. The ear pieces they took off before they went to sleep. This one was Kiri’s.  “Neteyam’s calling. You didn’t hear…”

Grinning, Lo’ak snatched it up and skipped backwards and put it in his own ear, ignoring Kiri’s hushed yells to give it back now and the groans about ruining it with his stinky, cheesy earwax. He had to keep bouncing around, the girl was chasing him around the tent. “Bro! Tell her she’s sooo dead. Dad’s literally keeping guard in front of the tent—”

“Lo’ak, quit it.” Neteyam’s tremulous answer was harsh. Lo’ak’s smile wavered as he dodged Kiri’s arm and jumped over discarded cups on the floor, knocking over wooden spoons. “I need you to tell me what’s happening over there.”

“Aw, baby’s so scared to come back she needs to make a game plan first?” He laughed, slapping Kiri’s hands away. “I’ll only tell if she gives back my karambit knife.”

His older brother sighed, a bit too exasperated. 

“Yeah, I’m not letting that one go and I’m also making it your problem—”

“Lo’ak, she isn’t here.”

He stopped dead in his tracks. “What?”

“She isn’t here. I couldn’t find her.” Kiri bumped into him, unable to stop herself at the right time to hit the brakes due to how abruptly Lo’ak had stilled. They’d almost tumbled over. “Dad told me to wait until he contacts her and I’ve been waiting for minutes. Now tell me what’s going on over there.”

“Bro, you’re serious?”

“Why wouldn’t I be serious, skxawng!” 

He turned to Kiri in disgusted discomfort, who had damn-near glued her own ear to his to hear better. “Forget months, I’ll be free for years. Dad’s not gonna let her take one step off the camp anymore.”

The girl would stomp her foot if she was a couple years younger. “What’s this about?”

And Neteyam would shake Lo’ak from the neck for ignoring him this long while he was fussing. “Tell me already you—!”

“They’re having a fight bro.” He leaned better to peep outside the tent. “Yeah.”

“She came back? Why didn’t you tell me?”

It was uncommon for Neteyam to completely disregard the previous input he’d been given. Lo’ak didn’t understand this level of anxiety. “Are you having a brain fart? Would we be having this conversation if she was here? It’s mom and dad who are fighting.”

It wasn’t that serious — on the contrary, his sister was quite simple to understand. She didn’t want to be found and had changed her place of hiding. End of story. The golden boy’s worrywart nature was keeping him from reasoning. 

“Don’t be a smartass.” Lo’ak practically felt Neteyam’s want to land a loud smack on his back. “Were they only able to reach her, then? Is that why they’re fighting?”

“You’re asking me?—”

The older boy began to grumble under his breath. “This is why I called Kiri.”

Said girl’s ears perked up over picking her name from the static-surrounded line. Lo’ak snorted. “Ouch, bro.”

Kiri shook him from the elbow. “Me? What about me?”

“Great title for your autobiography.”

Kiri raised her arms to give him a beating and Lo’ak was already bolting away from anywhere near her vicinity. The siblings didn’t even take notice of the line with Neteyam going dark as they focused on their own play-scuffle for a while. 

Until Lo’ak bumped into someone.

It wasn’t Tuk. 

Shoulders pulled into himself, he turned around torturously freaked out to find dad standing there like a ghost, his tactical vest packed to the brim and gun hanging from his back the way they wore their bows. 

The blue of his skin had faded into an ashier tone, amber eyes wide and bloodshot, the veins on the normally put together Olo’eyktan’s forehead were bulging, even a socially clueless person would pick up something was seriously wrong. He commanded cold authority of the battlefield simply by the way he stood, immediately triggering Lo’ak into soldier mode.  

He took a few steps back, chin hanging low at the lightless, unblinking stare his father pushed down on him. “Sir.”

All the sleepiness that had Tuk unresponsive and nodding off through Lo’ak and Kiri’s push-and-pull was knocked out of her at the sight, she was now unnerved and frightened. “Dad?”

The man’s intensity was somehow eased by his youngest’s reaction, but he held back from taking her in his arms like he normally would to comfort her, didn’t even care to remark on how they were supposed to be sleeping — how they’d woken their little sister up, instead focusing on Lo’ak. “I want you all to listen well. Your mother and I are heading out for a minute and your grandmother will be with you soon — Neteyam is Oscar-Mike to come back here. Stay put and don’t go anywhere, understand?” His finger pointed accusingly at him. “Don’t cause trouble. Looking at you boy, what I’m saying here is Marine proof. I’m at the end of my wits here, don’t even think about slipping a tail out of this tent.” 

The potent severity of whatever the hell was making him this agitated to the point of a voice so hoarse it was unrecognizable got the wheels in Lo’ak’s head whirring. “What’s happening, dad?”

“One child!” The thundering shout came down on him with the force of a falling mountain, making Lo’ak jump out of his skin. “I need one child of mine to listen to me without asking any questions today!” Dad’s voice broke when Tuk whined, he shut his eyes as if he was in physical pain, and flexed his jaw, shaking his head and pulling the girl in from her shoulders to soothe her. Still no direct hugging. “Jesus Christ.”

“I’m sorry sir,” Lo’ak said immediately, distraught by the over-the-top reaction, hands unknowingly curling into fists by his sides. Whenever that sky people word ‘Jesus’ slipped from dad not having any control between the border of his two languages, the boy knew it was demanding gravitas. “I heard you CFB.”

“Good.” He thinned his lips. “Kiri, please.”

Lo’ak frowned at dad basically asking for her to play her brother’s keeper in Neteyam’s absence in two simple words.

She nodded. “I know dad.”

He caught a glimpse of his mother running in the distance, her father’s bow in her hand. 

Just what was happening? What had you done? 

Eywa, it had to be sky people. 

Dad saw the realization in his face. “Stay,” he emphasized, one final time before he was also gone with the wind. 

Lo’ak wouldn’t have obeyed if it wasn’t for his grandmother arriving just in time, keeping them busy with a story about the arrival of a wounded ikran with no rider.

You realized the gunshot wound puncturing your upper abdomen was there the whole time when the avatars put first aid and later slapped a rectangular sky people bandage on it that helped clotting or whatever it was called, the pain simply not being there had played a big factor in it with the body running on pure adrenaline. 

(Crouching close to you, Quaritch had bragged, “We aren’t so bad after all, huh, sweetheart? It’s called civilization. Your daddy ever taught you about that?”

Civilization, your ass. They needed you. There was nothing well-meaning about what they were doing.

And the nickname had ticked you off, sullying the good memories of father, your head slammed into his nose in full power after a hiss.

“Now my daddy taught me that!” you spat in English as other avatars had tackled you. The man claiming to be Quaritch was smiling as he wiped away the blood trickling down his nose.

What was the point in trying to patch you up if they were going to do this, then?)

You were now a part of an elaborate trap to lure your father in. Bait. The worst position to be in. This was the kind of trouble Lo’ak would get himself in. It was too late to go back now, the mess you’d gotten yourself into had made itself known. 

Think, think! How could you get out of this?

Within the unsleeping forest’s nightly noises chirping all around you, a specific call in the air halted your train of thought. 

It was mom. 

Your parents were here. But how? How did they know where you were, exactly? Dread and expectation pooled in your heart, coexisting in a nauseating mix. 

Father must be thinking that you already caused so much trouble, they couldn’t know you were also hurt, you’d never hear the end of it.

But there was no time to think, the pain you should have been feeling was ebbing its way into your body, and she was calling in the night to inform you to get ready.

All hell broke loose when the man who held you tight from your queue was shot right from the back of his head with an arrow, collapsing right on top of you. 

You couldn’t get away in time to not be crushed by his dead body and promptly got squished between the mossy soil and him, his gun was hurting you, the wound on your stomach getting in the way of you using your core to push the body off. 

How many minutes had passed with you struggling to get him off as a hurricane of bullets roared, you didn’t know (it hurt, pain was climbing towards the threshold) — mom was able to break free from the weight of a whole AMP suit, as you’d heard as a child, a Na’vi was naturally strong, but you couldn’t even crawl out. Panic was a rope tightening around your ribcage as your breathing picked up

All of a sudden, the weight was gone, and the only remaining thing from it was the big gun left from the avatar you found yourself hugging for dear life, eyes wide as saucers. Before you could see whoever had done that, you got hoisted up right back on your feet and tried to run, only to be held tighter and pulled behind the trunk of a tree.

“Hey, it’s me, it’s me!” Clumsy, overwrought hands were cupping your cheeks and — and oh, it was your father. 

You didn’t know whether to be afraid or cry from happiness.

Once he was sure you registered it was him by staring intently in your eyes with that edge of the softness you’d missed so much, his hold shifted to your neck and around your shoulders, and he gave you a look-over, checking for any wounds. Too bad what he was searching for was behind the gun you were holding. “Are you hurt?” He shook you when you were too stunned to answer. “Are you hurt at all?”

“No,” you shook your head automatically, it was weak against the explosions of bullets raining down all around you, but father had picked it up regardless, only focusing on you for the moment.

In the darkness, nobody could see the blood running down your body, that bandage had come out at one point. 

“On my mark, we’re gonna run, okay?” He nodded to you, tomahawk axe in hand coated in a dark substance, commanding your full attention. “Follow me. Ready? Ready?”

You weren’t ready at all, stomach feeling like it was being stabbed at every heartbeat, but you couldn’t tell him that. 

Instead, you ran like hell, moored by father’s taut clutch on your forearm pulling you forward to match his incredible speed dodging roots, bushes and branches. 

Things stopped moving only when you were enveloped in mom’s embrace, consciousness almost flying off from the relief that washed over you. Kisses were peppered along your hairline and forehead, her mumbling your name in gratitude blending with your panting. Tears burned bitter in your eyes, but you couldn’t cry, not when father was looking at you like that, chest rising and falling. You instantaneously remembered why you were holding that gun at the intensity he was radiating, tail escaping between your legs and letting mom hold you. 

At least this way he wasn’t able to objurgate you.  

Over her shoulder, you saw three ikrans instead of two. Heart soaring, you were skipping towards him in pure astonishment in a heartbeat. “Hey buddy!”  

His head lowered down towards you in bird-like movements. In this angle, it looked like he was giving you a razor sharp-toothed big grin. 

“He brought us here,” your mother said. The hand you were going to pet the ikran with stopped midway at her dejected tone. “You have passed Iknimaya, I take it. On your own.”

You didn’t know what to say, feeling immense guilt at having made her this disappointed over it. If this was any normal situation, any normal fight at all, you would have shot back with, ‘Well father told me to do it.’

But you were tired. 

Your pain threshold was being threatened, and you needed to get to your grandmother before any of your parents saw the situation you were in and this escalated into the worst fight you were going to get into in your entire life. 

Father’s only response was a dead cold, “C’mon, we gotta get outta here.”

He didn’t talk to you after that. Not one word. 

Squatting on an ikran’s back on a flight with an abdominal gunshot wound you were trying to hide was not an option unless you wanted to pass out midair and was looking for a free dive, so you were all but hugging the poor thing’s neck like a monkey, trusting him to follow your parents while you concentrated on mentally fighting to level out the pain. 

Nonsensical as it was to believe the gun stuck between your ikran’s neck and your stomach was acting as a tampon to lessen the bleeding, you were concerned with how dumb it must have looked to father and mom, how incompetent they must think of you that their daughter didn’t even know how to ride right. 

Got an ikran for nothing. 

Would they be less proud of you seeing how funny it appeared, nevermind that it was to contain your pain all the while not trying to faint?

But no words were exchanged about it. 

Father clamping up right after he’d made sure you weren’t hurt (yikes) had resulted in this awkward trip succumbing in total silence. They had sandwiched you between them, only necessary space for the ikrans to beat their wings freely left, so close that you could discern the scariest look on father yet, deepening the lines of age in his face while simultaneously expressing his barely contained desire to kill someone. 

A ticking time bomb. 

Forget speaking at all, but not only did he never address you until now, he didn’t even look in your direction for once. You knew because staring at him for five minutes straight for him to just acknowledge your existence had proven to be unfruitful. 

And the tears involuntarily streamed down your cheeks with how utterly worthless and alone that made you feel, trapped in this agony you couldn’t help but hide because he’d think you didn’t deserve to complain after bringing it upon yourself. You would rather bite your tongue and bear the pain than stay dreading his reaction. 

Yeah, no, he couldn’t know. 

Mom was looking over at you every one minute to make sure you were okay after her ears picked up on your sniffles, arrows of worry shot from her side sinking down your skin every single time, and you hated to make her this way. 

Your ikran kept comforting you through tsaheylu until you landed.

Father had promptly jumped down, agile and making haste away somewhere, passing you by and giving the cold shoulder. You all but slid off your own ikran, managing to make the gun stay where it should be, as you couldn’t help but weakly call out to him for one drop of consolation. “Father…”

He didn’t stop for you, quickening his steps, but his ears twitched, the tail beating the air ferociously halting and lowering before it returned to the previous motions, and those were the only indications that he’d heard it Lima Charlie.

The man just didn’t want to talk to you.    

And you had to make yourself believe it wasn’t the emotional devastation that had you falling down, but the wound sucking out all your energy now that you had gotten to safety. 

“Ma’ite?” Mom rushed to you. “Ma’ite, what’s wrong? What is it?”

“I’m okay, mom, it’s okay.” You were sitting on the floor, cross-legged. Thank goodness you still had the unbreakable willpower (and not the fear of Eywa put into you by father) to hold your shit together. “I’m okay. Just tired. My knees buckled. Weak, you know?” You swallowed, smiling. “I’m just… Just resting.”

Her gaze full of concern studied you, zeroing in on the gun you clung on for dear life against your stomach. Her hands lovingly brushed your hair, gripped your shoulders and elbows even though you were disgustingly clammy all over. It was grounding, anchoring within the ocean of pain washing over you in waves. 

“Oh, why are you sweating so much? You’re freezing.” You clutched the gun harder in a panic when she grasped it, most likely to put it away. It was the wrong reaction to have, but you weren’t exactly in the position to function healthily. 

Mom, as any other person would, got suspicious from it, her eyes flying up to your owlish ones — blanked out like a frightened animal. “You’re fine now,” she whispered, thankfully attributing it to how disturbed you must be, still not out of survival mode. “You are safe, my daughter. Mom is here.” She cupped your cheek, but every touch to your body hurt now, even when it was away from the gaping wound, still gushing blood, trickling down your hips and getting you scared that it’d be discovered once you stood up. “I’m here.” She searched your soul to know just why you were grimacing at her attempts of comforting. “I will take this now, you do not need it anymore.”

You snapped out of the gradually darkening gray haze mom’s lulling was laying you down gingerly into. “No, please don’t,” your breathing hitched. She was going to see. She couldn’t see. You had to avoid this somehow, as long as you could. Grandmother’s tent. You would make it, you had to.  “I’ll… I’ll just sit here for a while, okay? I need to just… take a small break, and then I’ll… Can you go back? I’ll follow later. Father is angry, I don’t—”

“Nonsense.” Incredulous and enraged suddenly about something you couldn’t put a finger on, and before you could stop her, she tried to haul you up with her by gripping your upper arms — colors exploded behind your eyelids, getting you you to lose consciousness for two seconds, your vision flooding back in a starry kaleidoscope. When mom’s voice reached your ears, it was in staccato exclaims your ears were ringing too much to discern. She was shaking you. 

You weren’t able to sit up straight anymore, leaning forward — mom had caught you, utterly confused and panicked at the same time. And then your head was lying on the crook of her elbow resting on her legs she’d tucked under herself. The moment you’d switched from sitting to straight up lying down was missing from your memories. 

A baby being cradled. Yes, this is exactly what it was like. Gentle arms surrounded you amidst the pulsating sea of agony. 

Your body was letting go, but your arms were vices around the gun, still holding that last line. Don’t let go. Don’t let go. They can’t know. Father will be so mad if he learns. “‘m okay… ‘st restin’…”

When your eyes cleared enough for the surroundings to be only a bit blurry, your mom was looking at the hand she’d just tried to take away the gun with, caked with your blood that had stained it, out of it and perplexed like she didn’t want to believe it. 

Her gut-wrenchingly stunned numbness sent the misery clawing its way inside into overdrive, pulling your consciousness down to the earth from the clouds it was ascending to. “Not mine,” you forced out, but it came out as begging. Everything was falling apart. The plan was so simple, why couldn’t you do anything right? “Not mine. Please. Mom, it’s okay.” 

“No…” Mumbling, she started sharply swaying back and forth, and with one brutally vigorous attack, she ripped the gun away from your arms, and hurled it away — then it was over. Your sob wasn’t due to the motion hurting you, it was all entirely for the broken wail of your mother at seeing the bloodied mess, tears spilling from her eyes as she reached down to press down at the pouring liquid. “No! No! Oh Great Mother! Why did you hide this! Oh, my daughter!” 

“No, mom, I’m fine, it’s nothing. Not my blood. Not my blood, okay?” You reached up weakly and wiped at her cheeks with trembling fingers, your heart got crushed worse than the pain could beat you down at her grief — lungs constricting. Where was all the air?  “I’ll get up. I’ll go to grandmother, don’t cry. Just resting.”

Frantically looking around, she yelled, “Jake!—” but her voice didn’t quite come out, breathy as if she’d been punched in the ribcage seconds prior.

A heartbeat’s worth of nothingness, after which you were full-on freaking out. Only one thought: Father will be angry. 

“No!” You shrieked, and blood swelled in one strong pump against mom’s fingers. She looked down at you in anguish, pupils blown wide, arm tightening around you as if you were a flailing bird. “Don’t tell him! Don’t tell father! He’ll really kill me for this—”

“No, no no no,” she shook her head, frenzied, tone cracked from beginning to end. “Do not say that. Don’t you ever say that—”

But you were struggling in her arms, wanting nothing but to crawl away into a hole, no reason registering whatsoever, only instinct. “He’ll be so angry,” you begged, pleading, pink spit bubbling at the corners of your mouth. The sound of gurgling accompanying the words you forced your whole body to form. “You can’t tell him — you can’t! He already hates me!”

The more you thrashed around and kicked your legs, the more you bled.

“Please, Great Mother!” The more mom lost her mind, hissing and howling hysterically, crazed, hugging you tighter and rocking. “Jake! Jake! Ma’Jake!” She put her temple against yours. “Not my daughter, please, Eywa…”

Why was she being like this? It wasn’t that serious! You were okay!

Delirium claimed you hot as she kept calling his name and her unbreakable hold on you kept you in a cage of a mother’s despair. In your feverish mind, a threat to your life was coming. Weakness spread like wildfire around your body and chipped away at the pain, slowly picking it apart to replace it with drowsiness. “Don’t call ‘im,” you continued to repeat, over and over again. “I’m just taking a break. Don’t call him over. He’s gonna be angry. He’ll hate me. He hates me. Please, mom.”

The sentences slurred together, shortened, wilted away pitifully, your voice died down, tongue deteriorating into only echoing, “He hates me.” A withered away, old flute. 

Your ikran was bellowing in the distance and you looked. The torches on cave walls were illuminating him and finally revealing to you his beautiful color scheme.    

And then your father was here, falling to his knees right beside you, his glistening wide eyes flying everywhere around your body — tracing all the blood, hands hovering above you as if he didn’t know where to start piecing a shattered vase back together.   

It was over.

Fully expecting the chastising you were about to receive to shake the floating mountains so bad the enemy would be able to spot you, you began to apologize — pride be damned, this battle be lost, you’d failed anyway. “Please don’t be mad,” you shuddered, meek and unsteady, tunnel vision flickering at the edges only perceiving him. “It’s my fault—I’m sorry—please don’t be angry—”

“Stop talking,” he ordered, rough and harsh, eyebrows knitted tightly, and out of breath — probably because of how hard he was trying to hold the anger back. You knew. That had to be it. “Don’t speak.”

Ah of course. This was only natural when he had refused to utter a single word at you the whole way, denying you the temporary comfort of a simple glance. 

Even the hand he pressed down so ruthlessly firm on your stomach it might as well be a boulder pinning you down was meant to be punishment, the whines your unbreathing lungs couldn’t stop turned into yowls — you hadn’t even noticed your hands were wrapped around father’s wrist in an effort to push him away, scratching him, but he only added his other hand on top of the other in return.

“Hang on, sweetheart, I got you, please hang on a little longer,” he pleaded, but you were already too far gone, Eywa was cruel to have plugged your ears to the endearment you’d been dying to hear from him for so long, making the last things you were aware father said to you the fact that he didn’t even want to hear you talking. 

And you fulfilled his wish. 

taglist: @ihonestlydontknowwhattonamethis@alohastitch0626 @jackiehollanderr @lucciera @qvrcll @iloveavatar @velvtcherie @ssc7514 @goldenmoonbeam @neteyamforlife @itsluludoll @jakesullys-bitch @blubrryy @sully-stick-together @arminsgfloll @alice121804 @noname2246 @justthingzsblog @eywamygoddess @m-1234 @ellabellabus07 @hellok1ttycake @dakotali @bluefire12348 @abbersreads @yellooaaa @aimsro @octavias-next-meat-bite @nikqdn @nao-cchi @spicycloudsalad @yeosxxx @heybiatchz @winxschester @elegantkidfansoul @eichenhouseproperty @kakimakiloh @dueiosy @liyahsocorro @dimplesxx @tigresslily @n8ivatar @strnqer @lillybbyy @jakesullyssluttt @r3dc4ndy @myheartfollower @gcldtom @bunnyrose01 @aceofheartzzz @ghoulbli @slasherfcker505 @ducks118 @megsthings @graykageyama @gwolf92

[lordshroom]

Not an ask but idk

EVERYONE THOW UR CROSSOVERS NOW BEFORE I CLIMB UR WALLS AT 3AM >:)

(Thows my mikey and raph over there)

Mikey: a demon who steals ppls right eyes then eats the rest then puts the eyeball in his collection and this mikey is blind IS 12 (young but deadly) and he looks terrifying horror

Raph: smol child but is missing right eye(thanks to mikey) is 14

No one is safe THIS IS NOW A CROSSOVER

do it or I will climb ur walls at 3am(mabey a jk who knows)

TW: blood, injury, dark imagery

@tmntaucompetition

Donnie had quite the eventful past few days. In his years of adventuring, he'd never expect to witness multiver theory proven right before his eyes. So many strange and interesting characters had been gathered, and they took full advantage of the opportunity to make new friends. While he wasn't sure how he got here, he was having a fun time.

He wandered the halls of the competition, finding a place less crowded than the central area. It was quiet, a few turtles checking their phones or examining their weapons. They cast a quick glance at him, then continued their business. It was here Donnie felt how fast his heart was beating. There was a water fountain at the end of the hall, just below a broken light, casting it in shadow.

The water tasted like metal, cold and hard. He whipped his mouth and turned around to find the hallway empty. The first time he had been alone since he'd been transported to this place. At least, that's what he thought.

"Look at you." A harsh whisper called out to him. Donnie whipped around. "You won't find me until I want you to find me. I can hear your hissing. I can feel your slimy skin. You are not one of them, are you?"

Donnie's feet were stuck to the ground. Every thought in his head told him to run. But the voice had pinned like an insect to styrofoam.

"You know you don't belong here. How sad to be a freak among outcasts. But don't you worry, I can help."

The voice grew louder, surrounding Donnie. When he could finally wrench his body around, the shadows on the wall began to contort. They vomited a creature onto the floor. Each limb wildly contorted until it stood straight. The demon raised its empty eye sockets to Donnie. Blood and tar leaked from its face, splattering onto the floor. It raised a hand to Donnie, each finger worn down to the bone.

"Let me take you."

Donnie couldn't breathe. His mind filled with a familiar fog. The fog he had been fighting against ever since he was mutated, that ate at his soul and threatened to leave him hollow.

His legs merged into a winding tail, another pair of hands busted from his sides, and his skull elongated, bearing rows of venomous fangs.

"My, my, what have you become?" The demon chuckled and lunged forward.

Donnie recoiled and hurled a spray of acid at the demon. Against any mortal enemy, it would have melted them into a fleshy puddle. But this was no mortal. The demon didn't even bother to wipe its face clean.

Instead, it only advanced faster. Each limb clawing at the ground to propel the body forward. It reached up at Donnie, aiming for his right eye.

Donnie's arm curled around the demon's claw, then the rest of the demon's body was constricted by his muscular tail. The demon dug its fingers into his skin. Fresh blood pooled in between his scales.

"My resolve is infinite, and your strength is already fleeting. You will fall by my hand! Is it worth the pain of a few extra minutes of life to struggle against the inevitable?"

The mutation had turned Donnie into a violent monster. There was always a feral urge he had to suppress or risk destroying everything close to him. Despite all this, his brothers tried to help. No matter what harm he caused, they were always there for him. Donnie knew they would be better off without having to worry about him. They would never know where he went or where his body was. It would be like he disappeared from their lives. Maybe it was for the best.

His grip slackened. The demon smiled.

"Mikey!"

A young turtle ran toward the two of them. At first, he tried to free Mikey from Donnie's grasp, but once he saw the blood he placed his hands on his hips.

"What did I say? Do. Not. Attack. People!"

The demon pouted and the other turtle sighed.

"I'm so sorry about him. I'm Raph, this is Mikey. He has... issues but I'm trying to reel him in. If you let go, I'll make sure he won't hurt you." Raph said his one eye never leaving his brother.

Donnie didn't believe Raph. Words couldn't keep a demon at bay. But he relented, slithering back from the two. Raph hugged Mikey and then took his hand.

"I almost won." Mikey hissed.

"Then I'm glad I got here when I did. Next time you run off, you better hope I don't find you. Come on." They walked past Donnie and beyond sight.

Once again, he was alone, and the fog began to part. He laid down, trying to remember Splinter's meditation techniques, and felt his body shrink. His injuries still remained, with just enough bleeding that Donnie decided to find a first aid station.

The worst part of his mutation was the isolation. His brothers could never understand the fear he had for himself. The terrible things he could do if he let his guard down for a second; he wondered if there was a line he would cross, do something so horrendous even his family would shun him. But that line did not exist, they would always be there to help, even if it killed them. It was both comforting and terrifying.

Another turtle noticed the gash on his leg and helped Donnie to the first aid station. While they took care of his injury, a warm nostalgia enveloped him. He missed his brothers. Soon, he would see them once this competition was over, and they would figure this out together like they always did.

[le-trash-prince]

Sorry for jumping in on a conversation, but I agree with so much of this I don't even know where to start.

when did we start only wanting media that is perfectly suited to our standards? I've been thinking a lot about this lately bc ppl will complain about a show that is all fanservice and no plot but then the same ppl will turn around and call it homophobic when a show decides to skimp on fanservice in favor of plot, and while I know that there is a middle ground, I don't think every show needs to hit that middle ground in order to have value.

it seems like a really exhausting and slightly puritan way to do things, to be constantly finding imperfections and treating them as more important than the good parts. dunno about y'all but i don't want to be unintentionally enacting puritan shit.

^ this hits SUCH a chord with me bc ppl will performatively make fun of puritans to signal that they're part of the In Crowd, but turn around and tear down a show for not aligning with their sense of ethics bc a character was/wasn't "punished by the narrative." I've even seen ppl say that queer POC writers have no business writing certain topics until their viewpoint aligns with whatever that OP thinks is correct. Ppl don't even get how puritan they're being and it's so frustrating

it becomes a game of liking the right show at the right time to get that sense of belonging. And some people can feel isolated again for not liking the show that everyone seems to love right now, so they want to at least find community in sharing their criticism.

^ this. especially with how quickly ppl move from fandom to fandom (hard to blame them when there's 543231 BL shows coming out a year), ppl fall back on criticism bc it's guaranteed to draw a strong reaction. But I think it's a rather shallow sense of community compared to the kind built around creativity. I've been into BL for over 20 years now, and I have friendships lasting just as long that were built around creativity.

Fandom used to have an attitude that the thing to do is create things if you weren't happy with the canon media, but these days that attitude is drastically different.

I've definitely seen ppl in BL tumblr deriding the fanfic mindset, as if fandom wasn't built on the backs of fanfic and doujinshi. People will act as if it’s intellectually inferior to want to engage with a show on a creative level rather than demanding that it change itself to our whims. They say that if a show is good enough, no one would need to add anything to it. Which I agree, is a deeply consumerist mindset. Even if creatives may be perfectionists, the act of creation isn’t about seeking perfection. Transformative fanworks are about collaborative artz

Many of the biggest voices in QL fandom don't make any type of fanwork, and I would argue are not part of larger transformative fandom as it exists on the verge of 2025

Plain and simple agree 🙌 It’s really easy to tell when someone lacks a practical understanding of the creative process, and I know it’s something a lot of creatives in BL/GL tumblr have frustrations with. It becomes difficult to take someone’s opinions seriously when they demonstrate ignorance of storytelling while trying to prop their opinions up by using as many words as possible.

One of the reasons I think sense-of-belonging is part of the problem, is that one constant I see in criticisms is to distance a piece of media from 'being actually queer'. For every single queer fandom I ever dipped my toe in, I have seen the 'this is for straight girls' accusation.

^ THIS TOO (i meant it when I said I agreed with too much). It’s especially frustrating when I see self-proclaimed straight allies trying to make claims over what is or isn’t queer enough… Please stop talking over us thanks. I also don’t think it’s the end of the world if a straight person enjoys a BL. I want to be able to enjoy queerness in many forms, I want to be able to share the things I love with my family, and I also know that BL helped me process my own queerness when I thought I was straight, and putting queer media in front of “straight” people can help them on their journey. I think the BL industry is certainly large enough today that it doesn’t need to be shoved into a box of “if this doesn’t upset straight ppl then it’s not queer enough.”

In terms of fandom engagement, for the time being I just try to tailor my expectations about the size of a fandom and acknowledge that the transformative side of the fandom is in the minority and number of viewers in the tag ≠ size of the fandom. Otherwise it can feel really gutting when it looks like there’s a large audience but silent audience. Still, even if we’re only reaching a small number of people, we can always try to encourage other creators and stir up conversations that generate transformative activity. In the end, the critics will leave a fandom as soon as a show is over, and when they’re gone, the ones left will be the ones who want to make something.

(I also think antis have played a large part in dismantling transformative fandom bc ppl have personally told me how nervous they get about posting or engaging with anything that could be interpreted as problematic, and rampant criticism of a show may similarly play a part in people not feeling comfortable creating for a fandom)

a question for QL fandom at large: when did we start only wanting media that is perfectly suited to our standards?

there has never been a perfect show, and there never will be a perfect show, because everybody likes different things and QL is run on shoestring budgets. i thought this was something we made our peace with as viewers of the genre!

so i'm just wondering at what point fandom decided that a show is only worthy of praise/fandom if it has no problems?

at what point did we decide that talking about the problems of a show is more important than talking about what we did enjoy and what kept us watching? i don't know when it happened, but it definitely has. critique is treated more seriously and gets more interaction than people talking about what they like.

it seems like a really exhausting and slightly puritan way to do things, to be constantly finding imperfections and treating them as more important than the good parts. dunno about y'all but i don't want to be unintentionally enacting puritan shit.

i want joy, i want fun, i want the spirit of camaraderie in fandom.

so, why did fandom begin to snub any media that didn't fit very high standards? and how can we steer ourselves away from that impulse?

(i am genuinely curious about why this is happening and how those of us who don't enjoy it can change, so please feel free to jump in, even if you are 'late' or think you only have a very small contribution to make to the discussion.)

[beesmygod]

ugh

despite being such a gossip and drama hound myself, i do not relish being the subject of it. you might think its because being the subject of scrutiny and attention is stressful. it’s actually because the people who keep lining up to try to shots at me wind up being the dumbest people alive who knock themselves out somehow. i think its important to get in front of “a narrative”, especially in this case, where every player is a lying liar who lies ahahaha. this one is way funnier than morbi actually. up until now, i was tactfully setting aside what happened out of uh. whatever kindness was left in my heart, i guess. more fool me!

im not going out of my way to crop ppl out of this if you look bad its your own damn fault. no one made you type this shit but you. dont post shit you can’t cash.

you might have been confused by the exchange between anon and this guy yesterday when i reblogged it to set the record straight on morbi. i was, until very recently, an infrequent contributor to his webcomics discord. earlier this year, i tried to reach out into more communities so i could get to know more artists and keep up with what’s hot (what a stupid fucking idea that was, in hindsight). a few days ago, some weirdly supportive of kiwifarms tweets from a comic artist who was ruined by them were posted for discussion. everyone pretty much just noted that it was weird with one person asking what kf even was. everyone else explained so i added this stupid shit

note: this is at 5:24 am. because at 7pm that night, one of the people in the discord goes completely full fucking tilt out of literally nowhere. i have screencapped the entire conversation up until that point as proof that i 1. literally did not say anything else the entire day and 2. proof that the conversation was completely normal up until that point.

inexplicably, people in the server put on kids gloves and start trying to come to a middle ground with this dipshit like hmm yes maybe we are a little kiwifarms could you explain more so we can understand you. when i noticed an hour later i saw red.

for someone who was “not helping”, the attention-seeking hysteric suddenly evaporated into thin air. i dont think anyone has actually shamed them for their behavior before. the conversation was shut down rather than resolved because i raised the temperature. daniel invited me to speak to him more privately in his dm if i had any more concerns bc i was pissed it was being swept under the rug. so i did.

here is the conversation in full. im posting it bc it makes him look like a clown and because later, he characterizes this as “chasing him” into his dms. what i didnt realize until today is that he says that the person going nuts is a moderator’s sibling, which explains why they’re permitted to take huge shits on people with no repercussions.

having committed the worst crime you can do in a nerd group (be mean) i was subjected to a post-mortem about the event (?) which culminated with this unbelievable irony cap

after my 10 mins were up, i said “i am not a good cultural fit or share the same moral priorities as this server and i will show myself out” and left. i vented on my twitter with blistering posts basically saying “well they’re all young. its annoying and seems bad but what can i do but leave”. and left it there.

it seems insanely obvious to me, so obvious that i struggled to even have to explain it to people whose entire brain appeared to have leaked out of their skull, that allowing someone in your discord for artists accuse random artists of wanting to reboot the mass shooting and violent transphobia website is literally the worst possible behavior you could permit. i wasnt expecting the mods to leap into action and do something, as they seemed to desperately think. i wanted to not belong to a community that would tolerate or entertain this.

anyway, yesterday morbi happened. i reblogged that post and daniel, after being told he wasnt a problem, decided he absolutely had to be one right now. he followed me on twitter and began posting ominously about a “write-up” of what happened between morbi and i because “some people” (this could literally only be the discord chat, and the reason he didnt want to post it there so they could snicker at it to themselves was because he thought this would humiliate or scare me) were curious.

maybe you’ve noticed a little flaw in the logic both morbi and dan have when it comes to “doxing”: for two people who are very concerned about privacy they’re out here retweeting the very information they’re decrying as invasive and then dan goes and fucking googles her and posts on a public platform more information about her than i cared to know. i cant stop thinking about how these morons were completely convinced they were doing something noble and righteous here by standing up for someone that maybe might be a black woman (hence: racism) based entirely on like a pintrest account

the cloying, transparent attempts to seduce me into messaging him first to soothe his battered ego are so desperate and pathetic that they make you hurt from the sidelines. you can see me gently try to explain why they look like a complete lunatic clutching their pearls over unmasking anonymous hate before i give up. there was so much obviously wrong about what they were doing that i was in disbelief that they were telling me that they were doing it.

1. taking a “both sides” approach doesn’t work when one person is a serial sexual harasser and the other posted an email address attached to a near cry-typing comment.

2. the attempt to use black women as a cudgel to defeat his posting enemy.

3. whatever this. attempt at banter is. idk man.

all of this didn’t work, so he tried showing me a piece of what he was writing that was the most deliberately inflammatory in the hopes that this morsel would finally compel me to bite and come begging for a re-write to save my webcomic career.

i wasn’t posting in a way that was drawing attention to this, it was a nosy (positive) friend who noticed this happening and went “holy shit what the fuck are you doing” which caused him to backpedal furiously

i was planning on letting him post it and just letting it speak for itself. i cannot think of a more ruinous thing to do to yourself than to ally with a sexual harasser and post openly and transparently about how extremely mad you are about how a girl made you feel. what could have possibly gone wrong.

in the end, daniel signed off with this post, signaling a more positive future for himself and his comic since his plan to annoy someone with a reputation for being a huge bitch multiple times by trying to downplay the severity of his and his friend’s actions, somehow blew up in his face

ah wait hold on. im getting word that he posted this after deleting a different post. this one

if there were any doubt what this were all about, daniel went and tweeted it out (literally) because subtext is difficult. my demand for a public apology for being accused baselessly of a career ending lie in order to stop this behavior from ever happening again has been recontextualized in his head as mean old bea picking on him and forcing him to do terrible things like “moderate” as a moderator.

over the past week ive been subject to racists, sex pests and 0/10 trolls but the spineless, moral coward is the most egregiously memorable of the lot. despite the amount of leeway i gave him for his repeated weak-willed behavior, he always found a new way to own himself without external prompting. despite me walking away and being satisfied with that, he came back for more. there are some people you cannot help, there are some people i don’t want to help because they cannot stop putting their hands on hot stoves. and then there are people who are begging for it.

somehow, it will be my fault that he feels bad and embarrassed about his behavior because i have catalogued it after being pushed around enough and it will not be seen as a direct result of his repeated failure of conscience.

anyway lol, lmao

[1kook]

ZOOM CALL

⇢ meeting two

jeon jungkook x (f) reader

⇢ series masterlist

summary: Most notably, there’s one group project waiting for you, which leads you to Friday. Sitting at your desk, bright and early, absolutely dreading being assigned to your group. genre: fluff, slice of life, smut (tags tba) warnings: ITS A SLOW BURN OKAY...., sweetheart jk, campus crush jk, college crushes, social distancing, zoom -_-, jk owns a keroppi plush, oc thirsts over his hot bod, jk’s sweet attempts at flirting </3 he’s just 2 cute for his own good ratings: e for everyone <3 wc: 3.7k

notes: this took long bc i wrote one version but it was SO LAME u guys r lucky my friend and editor ( @kigurumu​ 🖤 ) stopped me from posting it. so then i had to reorganize my thoughts n b like girl. the ppl are waiting. get it together. anyway here’s zoom jk 😎

Being grouped with Jeon Jungkook (he/him) for your first class on the first day of your first Zoom semester truly sets the standard.

By no means do your other classes suck; they’re quite enjoyable, more relevant to your area of study. They’re familiar which makes them comfortable, your Zoom meetings filled with faces you’ve seen time and time again the last four years. The material interests you, so you definitely don’t have anything against them or your classmates. 

That being said, no one is prepared for the awkwardness that comes with each and every Zoom meeting. You never thought you’d be embarrassed to turn your mic on— to speak in a class filled with your peers. And the meetings are all like that, filled with uncomfortable silences and endless black screens. 

You wish there was a Jeon Jungkook (he/him) in every class. 

Jungkook’s just got this bubbly aura to him, this magnetic presence that staples itself into the back of your mind with each passing day. No one fills a Zoom call like he does, making every person laugh and smile like him. 

Wednesday rolls around and you find yourself a little disheartened when you don’t get sorted into the same randomized group as him again. Disappointment melts into annoyance when you find out how incompetent your other classmates are, refusing to speak in the small group or just completely clocking out all together. A lot of them didn’t do the reading— the one you stayed up all night doing —and your first partnered assignment of the semester finds you doing it all by yourself. Muted mics, black windows, complete radio silence; you hated it all. 

You find yourself weirdly longing for Jeon Jungkook’s presence, even if he’s only there to talk about some movie he saw last night. No one is as much of a chatterbox as him, can’t even hold a candle to the way he draws everyone in with his mindless conversations. At least he speaks during Breakout Rooms, you think bitterly. 

Anyway, the first week of classes ends and your brain is a frenzied mess. There’s schedules to memorize, professors to impress, assignments to plan out. There’s definitely no time to sit around and fantasize about the curly haired cutie in one of your general classes. The weekend is spent trying to organize your planner, filling in due dates and exam days ahead of time. It’s your last semester and you’re dead set on making it your best one yet. There’s a lot of written work this time around, analyses and research papers that need to be organized. The road ahead is manageable, but you’ll have to work hard to keep it that way for the next five months. 

Most notably, there’s one group project waiting for you, which leads you to Friday. Sitting at your desk, bright and early, absolutely dreading being assigned to your group.

Jungkook is early this time, not like on Monday where he’d been one of the last to filter in, and he’s looking as chirpy as ever. Donning this horrendously hot pink shirt, completely unlike the neutral tones he’d worn during your last two meetings and that decorate his room, and the cutest pair of circle glasses sitting on his nose. He says his regularly scheduled ‘good morning’ to you all and receives a collective response from the rest of the class that not even your professor got. 

Speaking of the professor, you’ve been giving him the stink eye this whole time. Not that he can tell, given the fact he’s probably miles away in his own home while you angrily glare at him through your webcam. It’s this old guy who’s decided to sort you all into semester long groups for the class, which is the absolute worst. These types of groups always go the same way: you make a group chat promising to study together, those plans fall through, and then everyone just leeches off of each other for homework answers. And in most cases, it’s you handing over your homework answers because no one else ever bothers to do anything. Sadly, it’s a routine you’ve had to suffer through many times in your academic career. 

The thought makes you sick. Having to spend another semester being labeled as the bossy, nerdy dictator of the group? Not exactly how you wanted to spend the last few months of college, but there’s nothing you can do. Maybe this time around you’ll just let it be, won’t fight it (and by it, you mean your lazy classmates when they inevitably try to guilt trip you for homework) and simply let it run its course. 

“I’m going to put you guys into Breakout Rooms with your new groups!” your professor claps excitedly, and then you and the rest of your classmates are forced to watch him lean too close to the camera as he begins clicking around to find the preset groups he’s assigned the class. “Remember, guys, this is it for the rest of the semester. So if something isn’t right, let me know by the end of today.” 

Man, this was going to suck, you groan. The syllabus had said that the purpose of these groups was to keep you all connected with your classmates during these trying times, to give you the same opportunities in-person learning would. Frankly, you’re not too worried about making friends with everyone in this large class. Most of them are younger than you anyway, save for Jeon Jungkook (he/him) and a handful of others who are apparently in your year. Befriending lowerclassmen only to have to bid them adieu in a few months seems awfully sad, a little too heartbreaking. You really just want to get a good grade in this class, collect the last of your credits, and put this whole college experience behind you. 

Your thoughts are wrapped up by the pop-up message that appears on screen. 

The host is inviting you to join a Breakout Room: Group 12

You sigh, contemplate dropping this class for all of two seconds, before dutifully accepting the request. Worse comes to worst, you make up some lie to tell your professor that you’re allergic to group work and hope it works. (It won’t.) 

You sit through the mandatory loading screen for a few seconds before being abruptly dumped into your new room, Group 12, or so the message had said. There’s no one else here yet, which isn’t really a surprise. A lot of your classmates are probably like you, scowling at the pop up message every time your professor sends you into small groups before accepting the request. So you chill by yourself, eyes tracing over your own mirrored image. The notes on last night’s reading are neatly laid out before you, your copy of the book off to the side. 

Another beat and then, much to your surprise, Jeon Jungkook (he/him) is appearing in your room. “Oh,” he says, round eyes magnified by the thick lens of his glasses, the glare of the computer’s glow casting a funny shape across the lens that momentarily robs you of his pretty eyes. His pretty pink lips stretch into a smile, upper lip thinning out a bit when he flashes you those perfect teeth. “Hi, __,” he greets politely, bubbly. 

It’s embarrassing how much his presence affects you, your back going ramrod straight in a terrible attempt to compose yourself. “Hi, Jungkook,” you manage to get out, fingers nervously reaching for something, anything, to ground yourself. They land on a pencil. 

Jungkook doesn’t seem even the slightest bit aware of the commotion he causes within you. “I was really nervous for these groups,” he begins rambling right away, lips pushing down into an exaggerated frown as he shivers at the memory. “But I’m glad I got placed with someone hardworking like you!”

Despite how sweet he sounds, you’re not entirely sure if he’s buttering you up just to take advantage of your ‘hardworking’ attitude later down the road or if he’s genuinely being polite. The little information you know about Jungkook wants you to believe it is the latter; he’s very kind, sweet and nice in a way that makes everyone he speaks to feel warm. Still, for all you know this could be some elaborate ruse of his to make you trust him now and then convince you to do all the work for the rest of the semester. 

Tentatively, you ask, “and how would you know that?” You try your best to keep your usual snappiness out of your voice, pose it simply out of curiosity. But everything you say or do feels like a stark contrast to Jungkook and his bubbliness. 

His head tilts cutely to the side, imploring brown eyes looking at you for one hard second. And then, “I read your forum analysis from Wednesday,” he admits, breaking into a smile. Shy and tiny, bashfully looking down at his desk. “I thought your perspective on the piece was really interesting,” he says, lips pursing together as if he’s suddenly too embarrassed to admit such things to you. 

Stunned, all you can manage is one slow nod. “Thank you,” you eventually choke out, trying to ward the heat away from your cheeks as Jungkook sheepishly nods back, cute smile still on his face. 

“Oh, please,” he chuckles, raising his hand to rub at the back of his neck. “Don’t thank me!” 

It is in this exact moment that you are suddenly made aware of two things. 

One: despite his collection of soft sweaters and t-shirts, his bouncy curls and sweet smile, Jeon Jungkook’s body is neither as cute nor as soft as any of his belongings. In fact, Jeon Jungkook’s body is all hard planes and prominent veins. Arms beefy, biceps that bulge beneath the fabric of the short sleeve t-shirt he’s donned today. His shoulders fill out the material nicely, making him look broad and huge, but that’s not even the worst part, because—

—two: Jeon Jungkook is covered in ink. Dark streaks and swirls paint his forearms, curling around his elbow. Every inch of his pale skin is littered with tiny designs. They dance along the back of his hands, over his knuckles, and end at an unidentifiable point beneath the sleeve of his t-shirt. When he tugs at the neckline of his shirt in an effort to readjust it, you hope your eyes are deceiving you and that isn’t a hint of ink by his collarbone. 

Your normal composure seems to slip away at the mere thought. 

It’s Jungkook’s voice that brings you back, a soft timbre that asks, “aren’t we supposed to have someone else in our group?” You flinch as if you’ve been caught ogling him, never mind the fact he’s started mindlessly shuffling some papers around on his desk, not the slightest bit concerned with you. 

“Oh— um, yes. I think,” you stammer, feeling like some creep for ogling your very cute, very sweet classmate. The memory of his inky skin nearly sends a shiver down your spine as you navigate back to the class syllabus. “We’re supposed to have at least three people,” you read off, glancing at the boy on your screen who frowns at the news. 

“Do you think they dropped?” Given it was still only the first week of school, probably. There had been a fewer number of people in the call when it started, you remembered. Jungkook sighs, this rather light sound that ends in a hum. “Well, we can always wait a few minutes just in case.”

So you wait, nervously bouncing your leg up and down. It’s not awkward, or at least, not as awkward as it would be with anyone else. The other week you had silently sat with another classmate in a one-on-one discussion and hadn’t uttered a word for five minutes. It wasn’t because you didn’t care about the class, but because said classmate had been tapping away on their phone the entire time and hadn’t even responded to your simple greeting. That was awkward. 

With Jungkook it’s more weird than awkward. You can tell the silence makes him uncomfortable because he keeps doing these tiny inhales like he’s about to speak, followed by a little head shake where he seemingly stops himself from saying anything at all. He wants to talk, very badly it seems, but holds back for some odd reason. 

He’s scribbling on some sheet of paper, leaning forward to give you a view of the top of his head. From this angle, his shirt hangs forward and a silver necklace falls out from beneath the neckline, thuds against the table. And then your suspicions are nearly confirmed, and oh god, is that a chest piece—

You quickly look away. 

Robbed of his handsome face and feeling like you’ll die if you look at his body any longer, you settle for your newly acquired favorite pastime: inspecting your classmates’ rooms over Zoom. Yes, you’ll admit it is incredibly nosy, but what else can you do? You can only look at your professor for so long until you inevitably grow bored, attention drifting off to your classmates tiny windows. And with no professor in sight, just gorgeous Jeon Jungkook, you quickly begin your examination of his bedroom. 

Jungkook’s room is pretty much the same as you remember it, rather neat and plain. There’s not a lot going on in terms of decoration, which is a little surprising to say the least. Over the course of the week, you’ve watched your classmates’ dormitories and bedrooms gradually change, decorations and tapestries decorating the walls, mountains of pillows added to their beds. It’s only natural that everyone has an innate need to show off who they are now more than ever, and you thought Jungkook would be the same. 

Apparently not. 

Aside from the guitar you had spotted on Monday, his little dorm room remains unchanged. Blank walls, grayscale sheets. The same perfectly fluffed pillows and then—

A tiny Keroppi plush smack dab in the middle of his bed. 

It’s adorable but a little out of place amongst Jungkook’s rather masculine decorations (or lack thereof). A tiny green doll sitting by his pillows, cute striped shirt and ridiculously dopey smile. 

Leaning forward, you unmute yourself and conversationally say, “I love your Keroppi.” 

At the sudden sound of your voice, Jungkook abruptly straightens up, glasses practically at the very tip of his nose. Eyes wide, it takes him a second to process your words before jerkily whipping around to stare at the aforementioned item. “Oh,” he jumps, slowly looking at his screen again, lips pulled into a tight line. “Um… it’s not mi—“

“It’s adorable,” you add, propping your chin in your palm, absolutely endeared with the rosy color that paints his cheeks, fades down the column of his neck. 

He squirms, hurriedly pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He looks like he’ll deny it again, nervously nibbling at his lower lip, before eventually he settles with a sigh. “I won it from a crane machine,” he confesses with a sheepish huff of laughter, rolling backwards to the edge of his bed to snatch it from its spot. 

(Of course he manspreads as he sits, dark jeans hugging his thighs as he rolls back your way. His arm looks so strong, covered in all that ink, you nearly drool.)

“It’s cute, isn’t it?” he says, abandoning his embarrassment as he shakes the little figure around, makes it look like it’s dancing for you. “My mom said it looks like me.”

At that, you laugh. Loud and boisterous because you were definitely not expecting Jungkook to say that, such an odd but weirdly fitting comparison that has you looking at the doll in his hands with renewed interest. And through the pixelated screen, you can see the similarities: Jungkook does have the same smile as Keroppi. 

“Your mom was right,” you agree, wiping a faux tear from the corner of your eye. “Very cute.” 

Jungkook’s got this big goofy smile on, shaking his head in disbelief that you would ever dare agree with his mom. Like he’s genuinely enjoying himself, you think, oddly proud to have evoked that reaction from him. Granted, Jungkook always looks like he’s pretty happy during class, but it feels nice knowing that you were (confirmed) the reason why.  

A little caught up with the bumbling feeling in your chest, you’re not expecting his next words. “Does that mean I’m cute?” he asks, still with that same dopey smile on his face. 

It’s a bold statement you wouldn’t have expected from him, someone who seems content being the world’s friend, but apparently Jeon Jungkook also craves compliments. 

Slowly, you nod. “...yes,” you say, trying to keep the tumultuous emotions inside of you at bay while you grant him this one compliment. Outwardly, you give him what you hope is an obviously feigned look of disbelief, managing to lace it with a little amusement as you shake your head at his inquiry. On the inside, your mind and heart are a thundering racetrack, the roar of the engines and the screams of the crowd enough to momentarily make you lose your senses. “Very cute,” you repeat, hoping he can’t hear the same pounding of your heartbeat in your throat and in your ears as you do. “Like a little frog.” 

Jungkook graces your robotic response with the most boyish laugh, head tossed back as one loud cackle (because, really, there is no other way to describe the sound that tears itself from his throat) escapes him, curls bouncing back from the movement. “Cute like a frog,” he wheezes, seemingly to himself as he shakes his head with a grin, scooting closer to the camera again. “That’s a new one.” 

“You set yourself up for it,” you defend, busying yourself with the papers spread out in front of you before Jungkook can distract you any further. “Anyway!” you announce, neatly lining the papers up. “Our group.”

Jungkook does his best to wipe the glee off his face, but even as he reaches around for his things, it’s still there. “Right,” he agrees, “we have to, um—“ a huff of laughter “—group contract! Or, well, partner project.”

Briefly, you consider calling in your professor to inform him of your missing partner. He had said to let him know by the end of today if something was wrong. But, honestly, you didn’t see a problem with your group the way it was now. While you can only hope he’ll turn out to be as dedicated to his work as you, as it stands now, there weren’t any major red flags surrounding Jungkook’s character. 

Besides, you didn’t mind being with him for the rest of the semester. 

You nod, forcing yourself to ignore the glimmer in his eyes when he looks at you through the screen. “I think it’s safe to say it’ll just be the two of us, which I don’t mind,” you say, glancing at the time on the corner of your screen to see five minutes have passed since you agreed to wait. “Do you?”

On screen, Jungkook profusely shakes his head, curls bouncing all over the place. “Nope,” he hums. “I don’t mind at all,” he reassures you, resting his chin in his palm as he regards you, and then sweetly adds, “it’ll be nice with just us, __.”

Right. 

You gulp, heart fluttering at the dreaminess he exudes through your screen, the soft strand of hair that falls over his forehead, tickles his brow bone when he flashes you another smile.  He was so handsome. Before you say anything silly, you quickly attempt to move on. “But it does make us more of a duo than a group.” 

Jungkook looks away from his screen for the first time in what feels like forever and you finally let your heart rest for a second. “A duo,” he murmurs, shuffling through his papers. “Like Mickey and Minnie?” 

You nearly choke on your spit, coughing to hide the surprise from his rather cute suggestion. He’s not even looking at you, doesn’t even realize the absolute shock he’s thrown you in by comparing the two of you to one of the most famous couples— that’s what they are, a goddamn couple, not a duo! the words mean two completely different things! —in the world. Instead, Jungkook is humming the theme song to Drake & Josh. 

This man was dangerous for your heart. 

After having felt all the emotions in the world in the span of ten seconds, you eventually gather the courage to say, “sure,” and quickly try to move the conversation along. “We just need to, um, make some ground rules and responsibilities for us to follow.” 

Jungkook nods, finally glancing up again, but not at you. He’s glaring at some point behind his computer, brows furrowed together as he begins brainstorming on his own. You try to, really, but his lips pout adorably when he’s deep in thought, and they’re just so pink and look so soft and would feel like—

“Well, we should probably exchange numbers first,” Jungkook says, interrupting your spiraling thoughts with a new topic to spiral over. He tilts his head to the side, brown eyes focused on you. 

“Yes, of course,” you stammer, fumbling for your phone as Jungkook lets out a soft yay at your acceptance of his request. Quickly, he recites his number and you type it in with trembling hands into the number pad, giving him a quick call so he can have your number as well. 

You save him right away, just his name followed by the class you share with him. Not like you know any other Jeon Jungkooks, and if you did, you doubt anyone could ever leave such an impact like this Jeon Jungkook. 

“__, look,” Jungkook calls, that same excitement lacing his already lovely voice, and you raise your head up at the screen again. He’s waving his phone over his camera, so you don’t get to see his face when he says, “It’s a little mouse emoji and a pink bow— just like Minnie!”

Dangerous for your heart and, most likely, the death of you this semester.

Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[bassiter2]

thinkin about how the most accurate possible way to visualize the gender spectrum would actually be a 3D model

something like this:

like basically instead of a spectrum of just woman -> man along a straight line, it’s that man and woman are each two whole planes that are some distance from each other and they’re completely parallel. the circles within those planes represent non-conformity within that gender, particularly in the context of how you’re perceived by others. 

if you’re on the plane at all, you are that gender. but basically every person has different ideas of how to Acceptably be that gender. if you’re within the innermost circle then you’re conforming basically as much as you can based on the most conventional ideas, and the further out you go, the less conforming you are. the closer you get to the center, the more likely you are to also believe that anything outside of YOUR circle is not acceptable.

there’s also a lot of diversity on how many of those circles people see. some see nothing past their own, and are likely to percieve the same amount with the other main gender. probably most people see at least a few lines you can cross and still technically belong in that particular gender even if they don’t see what you’re doing as Acceptable. some people are open minded enough to see that the circle never really ends because the plane is infinite, and the only thing that matters is that you ARE on the plane.

for those who do see a final barrier that you just can’t cross, many believe that once you’ve crossed it you’re basically on another plane entirely. and this is where the 3D model really comes in handy for ppl who don’t understand how someone can be so gnc that they basically present as “the other gender” and still not BE that gender - that you might as well be saying “you walked outside of this property, so as far as i’m concerned you either have to get back inside or you have literally launched yourself into the sky.” 

i think this model is also really useful in that rather than presenting man and woman as two absolutes at the ends of a line or a gradient, they are each two entire planes with a LOT of diversity within them, and being non-conforming within either does not necessarily move you closer to being another gender.

of course, this model DOES include other genders because of the vertical space between the two most prominent planes. for example, other planes of gender may be like any of these and more:

so it also shows how something can very much be Literally a different gender than one of the Main ones, but also functionally so close that there’s no need to, say, demand that person use totally different terminology. that’s like insisting someone is on a different plane just because they’re hovering a foot above the ground. yeah, technically they’re not ON the plane, but they’re still most certainly There and function as part of the community if they want to. you could probably also argue that as the planes stretch infinitely outward, they curve upward and closer to each other like this

in order to visualize how the further away you get from the center, you do get more likely to not be level on the ground and to therefore be “closer” to the other plane - but you still have factually not left your own. 

AND it shows how the intersections functionally work and how not all genders are necessarily parallel. 

anyway you could go even further into how the context and size of each circle changes with time, and also dividing each plane up like a pie chart to represent all the different cultures (both in terms of Where you’re from and like alt subcultures) and how there are tons of different brands of non-conformity that aren’t necessarily “more” gnc than others, and how many do not feel that they are permanently on any plane at all but rather kind of just floating around, etc,

but i don’t feel like writing a whole essay, i just wanted to share this bc i’ve never seen anyone else visualize gender like this and i think it would genuinely be the most helpful for like confused cis ppl and truscum and whatnot

[allthingshetalia]

can we pls get a scenario of femreader being bffs with gil. like they literally are together for everything to the point ppl say/think they are a couple. but luddy has had a crush since forever on her but ofc puts gils happiness before his. turns out, she returns his feeling too. this could apply to a humanau but you may do as you like tbh your writing is good. stay safe bb and thanks.

💕I love this so much!!! Thank you!!💕

The large blonde grumbled to himself as he scrubbed the dishes. He could hear your melodic laughs from the livingroom as you and Gilbert were having a pillow fight. He felt horrible. You were suppose to be like a sister to him. I mean Gil always referred to you as his sister, so didn’t that technically mean you were his sister too?

He wanted nothing more than for those laughs to be because of him. They were sometimes, but not near enough to his liking. It was so juvenile. Even if you did return his feelings he would feel horrible for stealing his brothers closet friends. But yet another part of him thought about how nice to would be. You and Gil could do your shenanigans when he was doing his paperwork. You could all eat dinner together- expect for when he took you on a date of course.

But yet he didn’t want to cause a divide. What if him and Gil fought? Whose side would you take? He obviously hoped you would take his side considering you would be his girlfriend, but Gil had seniority over him.

No. You are just as close with him as you are with Gilbert. That’s a lie. And the fact that, that is a lie makes his stomach hurt.

“Careful you don’t break that plate. It’s an antique from the 1700s.” Gilbert’s voice rang out. Ludwig jumped and looked over his shoulder.

“Sorry.” Ludwig grumbled. The Prussian hummed and grabbed a beer from the fridge.

“You good?” The Prussian mumbled. He assumed he asked quietly because he didn’t want you to hear. The blonde nodded, not looking at his brother. “You could tell me you know.”

‘No I can’t.’ Ludwig thought. The blonde finally looked over at him and nodded his head so Gilbert would leave him alone. The Prussian gave him the familiar look of ‘this conversation isn’t over’ and popped back into the livingroom with you. Ludwig finally finished the dishes and decided it was time to take the dogs for a nightly walk. He usually just lets them out the back door but decided he needed to get out of the house.

“I’m going with you!” Gilbert shouted as Ludwig threw on his coat. Ludwig groaned, but maybe it meant you would come along too.

“You two have fun! I’m going to go take a shower and get ready for bed.” You laughed, throwing the throw pillow back on the couch.

“Who invited you to stay the night?” Gilbert teased poking your side.

“Shut up!” You laughed. You paused for a moment and bent down petting Berlitz head. “You take good care of them! Don’t let anyone attack them at night.” You laughed as the dog seemed to understand you, because he nodded his head. “Have fun!” You shouted before running up the stairs.

The two brothers were just about to leave when you poked your head out from the top of the stairs. “Wait! Ludwig can I use your shower? Gilbert’s is disgusting! I promise to leave it nice and clean!”

That did more to the blonde than you will ever know. First of all, you naked. Second of all, naked in a space he is also naked in. Third of all, you’re gonna be naked. The blonde swallowed thickly trying so hard to stop the blood rushing to his head I’ll let you decide which one sorry.

“That’s fine.” He cringed when that came out as a squeak. Flashing him a smile your head disappeared up the stairs.

Ludwig quickly opened the front door enjoying the way the freezing cold chilled his overheated body. Blackie yelped even though he was wearing a little doggy coat and Aster pulled at her lease wanting to see if there was any ice she could play with on the ground. Gilbert closed the door behind him and took Aster’s lease from Ludwigs hand, knowing she was more than enough of a handful and she’s gils favorite.

“So what am I going to have to do to get you to talk?” Gilbert mused, nudging his brother with his elbow.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” Ludwig stated. His tone was perfectly normal but Gil could see straight through him.

“Does this have anything to do with your undying love for my best friend?” Ludwig choked on his spit and he stopped in his tracks.

“How did you know about that?” Ludwig quickly grimaced when he realized how easily he gave that away.

“It’s so obvious! I’ve known you since you were this tall.” Gilbert placed his hand against the middle part of his thigh. “I see the way your eyes get all mushy when you see her and that stupid tiny smile that is on your face.”

Ludwig groaned and ran a hand down his face, continuing to walk. “How long have you known?”

“Since you’ve started liking her! At first I thought it was gross because she is toooo young for you.” Gilbert teased.

“Everyone on this earth is too young for us.”

“Thats a sad fact, especially if you’re with an older woman- because then you realize you are actually older than her.” Gilbert sighed.

“You are speaking from experience.”

“Well I’ve had a lot of experience.” Gilbert chuckled. It was silent for a moment. “You know she likes you too.”

“What?!?” Ludwig glared at his brother stopping his walk once more. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to make sure you were both right for each other. You are both the two most important people in my life. I didn’t want her to hurt you or you to hurt her. But you two would be really good together and I would make a great uncle.” Despite Gilberts joking attitude his words made Ludwig smile.

“I know it could put you in a bad situation. I mean what if things don’t work out?” The blonde mused, sighing when he realized he had to pick up his dogs poop.

“I’ll just stay out of your guys relationship! from this day on you can’t come to me for advice and she can’t come to me for advice! So that way I’m not in the center if things go badly. But you do have to know that if this happens and both of you break up- which won’t happen because you two belong together, she is still going to be my best friend and you will have to see her.”

“Like you could stay out of it.” Ludwig grumbled throwing the doggy bag away. “But honestly that’s a risk I’m willing to take, if she is of course.”

“We could have so much fun! We could all go camping, and hiking and work out together. We’ll be like a big happy family.” The thought of all of that made excitement bubble up in Ludwigs chest replacing the uncertainty.

He absolutely adores you. He would rather date you for a week and have you hate him forever than not even try to date at all. You two worked so well together too. Before he could get to far along in his daydream Ludwig thought of something.

“How do you know she likes me?” The question caused a loud laugh to escape the Prussian.

“I always had a small suspicion, but remember Alfred’s party a while back, when he made us play 7 minutes in heaven?” Ludwig hummed recalling that night. He actually liked that party because you got a little too tipsy and hung onto his arm, so you wouldn’t fall. He loved the fact that you trusted him even in your drunken slur. “Well I asked her why she didn’t put anything in the hat and she said it was because you didn’t put anything in the hat. And you were the only one she would want to be in the closet with.” Ludwig smiled wider than he should have at that statement.

“See that’s what I’m talking about.” Gilbert laughed, pointing at him. “That lovesick grin.” Gilbert made a sound of disgust before turing around heading back to the house. “But I’m happy. You’ve never looked at anything like that and you’re my little brother. I want nothing more than for you to be happy.”

Ludwig blushed and rolled his eyes.

-back inside! Sorry this is so long!-

“Thanks again for letting me use your shower.” You smiled flopping down on the couch.

“It’s nothing. If you want to put some stuff in there I don’t mind. I’ve never been in his bathroom but I’ve heard the horror stories.” Ludwig chuckled. You laughed along with him.

“Thanks Ludbug. I will move some stuff in there tomorrow.” You joked. But you were also serious. Deadly serious. “How was your walk?” You asked. You laid down on the couch causing your feet to press against the outside of his thigh. You didn’t want to be a creep but you also hoped he wouldn’t move away. He blushed and you suddenly felt like you shouldn’t have brought it up. But before Ludwig could anwser Gilbert came trotting down the stairs in a dress shirt and nice slackes. The first few buttons were undone and his hair was gelled nicely.

“Awww does someone have a date? Why didn’t you tell me?!” You sat up quickly. You rolled so your legs were under your butt but this new postition caused your shoulder to almost hit Ludwigs.

“It’s not a date! Francis, Toni and Alfred called. They invited you too but I already said you were asleep.” You breathed a sigh of relief. You hated going out with all of them by yourself. They always got a little too drunk and being the only girl made you a little uncomfy- unless Lud was there of course. He always kept you safe. Like this one time a guy tried to slip you a roofie and Ludwig caught it before you did. He completely knocked they guy out in one punch and turned him over to the police. You shook yourself out of the daydream and stared at noticed that both brothers were looking at you expectantly.

“What?” You asked.

“Is that okay?” Gilbert repeated. He had a small smirk on his face like he knew where your mind went, but knowing him he probably did.

“Of course it’s okay!” You assured.

“Have fun you two!” Gilbert shouted as he walked out the door.

“Car keys!” You and Ludwig shouted in unison. You both blushed and looked at each other. The albino rushed in and grabbed his keys from the front table and turned back around, smiling to himself.

“Did he seem weird to you?” You questioned. You unconsciously leaned closer to Ludwig.

“He’s always weird.” He chuckled. He threw his arm back over the couch, causing you to realize what you did. You felt a little hurt think he didn’t want you to be near him.

“Sorry!” You yelped, scooting away from him.

“Nein!” His voice boomed causing you to jump. “Sorry I-I don’t mind.”

“Really?” You wanted to slap yourself. You sounded like a stupid high school girl. You both leaned back up in the couch and stared at the blank TV. “Can I ask you something?” You turned so you were facing him. He nodded and adjusted so he was turned towards you as well.

“Do you have a crush on anyone?” You needed to know. He stiffened and adverted his eyes away from you.

“Ja.” He replied softly. He looked back at you and stared directly into your eyes.

“Do you?” He leaned a little closer to you and something in your body told you he knew.

“Ja.” You giggled copying his accent. You moved a little closer so your forehead bumped against his. His eyes softened and his hand went up and he stroked your cheek with the back of his pointer finger. The little action caused your heart to melt.

You both smiled lightly before finally capturing each other’s lips in a kiss.

And neither of you noticed the very teary eyed Prussian in the doorway.

[sloanefms]

[ jessica clements, cis woman, she/her, blue ] hey have you seen SLOANE OLSSON ? SHE let me borrow BALLET SLIPPERS. oh, you know them! they’re TWENTY-FOUR and they’ve been at Roy G. for THREE YEARS. They are known to be a total ARIES. no wonder they’ve picked up the nickname THE HALCYON! i’m surprised you haven’t heard them blaring AU REVOIR BY FRONT BOTTOMS. all night. they remind me of GRASS STAINED JEANS, MESSY PONYTAILS, AND CHIPPED NAIL POLISH. anyway, let me know if you see them ! 

* hii fweenndddsss !! i’m gigi, super excited for this group. this is my baby doll sloane. get to know her a bit & sssmasshh that heart button if you’d like to plot !! <33

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 :

FULL NAME: sloane ivy olsson GENDER: cis woman PRONOUNS: she/her RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single SEXUALITY: bisexual AGE: twenty-four  DOB: april 7th, 1996 HOMETOWN: kenosha, wisconsin PARENTS: oliver olsson ( dentist ) & samantha olsson ( elementary teacher )  SIBLINGS: vera olsson ( 27 ) & elias olsson ( 29 ) ZODIAC: aries sun, sagittarius moon, leo rising OCCUPATION: dance instructor / bartender BALLET COMPANY: miami city ballet / principal soloist 

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 :

there’s no denying that sloane was the accident child. her parents content with their two children at the time. believing that was it for the couple. but that didn’t mean when samantha fell pregnant they were upset...shocked and excited would be the words they would use.

the youngest of three. sloane grew up in a home filled with love and laughter. always taught to be kind and accepting of  every person she met but to stand her ground when she needed to. which came in handy in school, she was the kid who stood up for others and got into a few tumbles with the school bullies.

in every interest she had her parents supported her - never complaining whenever she decided she was over it. but with all the hobbies she jumped through, ballet always stuck. every season the girl was eager to get back to the company she belonged to and train. 

voted most likely to end up on broadway & most outspoken her senior year of high school. sloane made friends with every group. it was rare for the girl to have any enemies - if people disliked her for whatever reason, she would thrive on finding ways to dislike her more because she usually felt they disliked her for stupid reasons. not afraid to step on anyone’s toes.

she was also heavily involved in the theater. being in every school production (  usually the lead too ). wanting for a long time to be in showbiz. but feeling she wouldn’t be able to accomplish that goal. new york felt too far and as confident and fearless as she seemed to be, taking that step scared the hell out of her.

after high school, sloane continued training with the local dance company in kenosha while taking classes at the community college. she was content with her life. hoping she would one day get the courage to move to new york. 

it wasn’t long before she began to feel clueless with what she wanted to do with her life. she never had a set plan on a career other than ballet - only knowing whatever she wanted to do should bring her happiness. her parents being as supporting as they were gave her space to find her passion.

she felt trapped in wisconsin. she had been there her whole life and felt she needed a change in scenery. and for some odd reason, miami called to her.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 :

POSITIVE: charismatic, loyal, passionate, creative, ambitious. NEGATIVE: opinionated, impatient, secretive, moody, detached. MBTI: ESFP - the entertainer MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic good LIKES: cold brew, snacks, tattoos, flirting, shots of tequila, being center of attention, sunshine. DISLIKES: loud chewing, obnoxious scents, rude people, staying in on the weekends, liars, cloudy days. AESTHETICS: grass stained jeans, messy ponytails, chipped nail polish, driving with the windows down, lavender vanilla scented candles, the deepest of blues, glossier sheer matte lipstick in cake. CHARACTER INSPO: penny lane ( almost famous ),  molly gunn ( uptown girls ), amanda beckett ( can’t hardly wait ), summer ( 500 days of summer).

sloane is extremely friendly. has lots of love to give to everyone. she fights hard for her friends and family. she gets along with everyone and anyone. she’s the girl who compliments you drunk in the bathroom bar but will continue to compliment you sober. the loud mouth of most her friend groups. she’s a live in the moment kind of gal. wanting to make an adventure out of everything. she’s not all rainbows and sunshine, she can be selfish and cruel. using her niceness to gain trust and then manipulating someone to get her way. she doesn’t always mean to do it...but it’s a bad habit of hers and she’s fully aware. when it comes to love, she loves it. but cannot have a mature and nontoxic relationship to save her life. sloane goes on dates often, too scared to open her heart to anyone and get hurt. but she loves to have fun and get to know people.

𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀 & 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐑𝐊𝐒 :

height: 5′9″

eye color: blue

hair color: brown / medium length

tattoos: has plenty but can’t decide what yet dkjnfks little dainty ones 

piercings: ears 

languages: english, swedish 

free spirited af

confident in herself, loves to be naked, kiss her friends, & do things that scare her

speaks very loud - her voice is kind of nasally so not surprised if ppl tell her to stfu

cannot sit still, she always has to be doing something / moving

horrible driver ; hits a curb & is like “oopsie”

hot head af - she’s an aries...she will turn red when mad

loves to drink and smoke 

will put training before anyone 

has a parrot named frank ( yes, i’m using jessica’s beautiful parrot  dfkjndskj )

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 :

good influence: reminds her to be on her best behavior. always forgives her when she fucks up but holds her accountable.

frenemy: just straight up cannot stand each other, two strong personalities or complete opposites. or maybe they were once close but some shizz happen and things got messy.

accidental hook up: one drunk night after her breakup, she found comfort with them and one thing lead to another. maybe now they ignore it or try to fight it happening again?

squad: the peeps she hits up to have some fun, they probably hang out at each other’s apartments a lot.

if there’s other dancers/entertainment muses, something to do with that would be cool!!

tbh, love plots that start some kind of drama so lets goooo !!

[rosesanthology]

Senobia (5 star) :

Banner name : "a captain's ambition"

Weapon name : "sea divider" which comes in a set of dual claymores

Attack : freakishly fast physical strikes of both claymores at once except the 5th strike is a heavy one (the claymores combine into one)

Special attack : seno gets close to whatever opponent is near and inflicts hydro with a heavy strike of both claymores

Ult : the claymores combine and she does a spinning hit that summons a wave that can hit up to 5 surrounding opponents (4 waves at C6)

Passive talents : increases space in ur inventory, increased mora drops from mobs and no hydro damage can be taken (as well as wet status cant be afflicted) during the ult

Special dish : i have no clue what her special dish is but whatever she makes increases physical attack pourcentage

Kasto (4 star) :

Weapon name : "princess guard" a geo claymore

Attack : she spins in circle like xinyan if u hold the button but once stamina bar depletes she jumps up and spawns a huge crystal from the ground (sending the opponent flying upwards)

Special attack : traps ennemies in crystal for a few seconds and does damage (time increases with constellations)

Ult : creates a pretty strong shield while a rain of crystal falls around her and inflicts damage on nearby opponents

Passive talent : does it count as a passive if I say that she is naturally able to break the geo hypostasis's pillars in 2 hits at C1

Special dish : she can't cook im sorry

Michi (5 star) :

Banner name : "honor of the tengu" where he has a stupidly low rate of dropping unless u complete his story quest first

Weapon name : "cherry blossom blade" which is a katana with porcelain like decorations on it (also has a low drop rate unless story quest completed)

Attack : FAST FUCKING PHYSICAL ATTACKS WHERE HE JUMPS AND DODGES OUT OF THE WAY BY HIMSELF

Special attack : immobilizes up to 3 opponents in cherry tree branches and michi gets a shield that buffs his attacks

Ult : he goes into something similar as the demon mode of the dual blades from monster hunter ? He can't take damage and he can stand on moving branches that run over his ennemies (controls similar to fischl's oz)

Passive talent : u get a double of every flower u pick up no matter the region and he buffs everyone's attack

Special dish : salmon skewers that give u pyro res and buffs crit damage :)

Agnar (5 star) :

Banner name : "the snow leopard of snezhnayan"

Weapon name : none. He comes with his own ice polearm.

Attack : all of his attacks inflict cryo damage and he switches between physical attacks with his fists and elemental attacks with his polearm at random

Special attack : a bit like geo traveler u can aim at ennemies and drop a giant icicle on them that explodes and inflicts cryo damage after 5 seconds

Ult : summons a giant ice leopard that steps on nearby opponents (disappears after animation)

Passive talent : he isnt affected by sheer cold, his crit rate goes up with his attack combos, im sorry but if u put childe or kaeya in the team with him his number of normal attack will decrease (he'll hit less times and slower for the same amount of damage per hit)

Special dish : his own version of the pile em up dish except he makes the steak into a soup with ACTUAL has vegetables in it (stares at diluc)

Mei Lan (5 star) :

Banner name : "eery music of qingyun peaks"

Weapon name : "tales of ancient liyue" which is his fan that acts as a catalyst

Attack : his physical attacks are some of the weakest in game because he doesn't like to move a lot but basically he uses his fan a bit like a sword (throws it at opponents sometimes and it does multiple hits while spinning)

Special attack : sends water blades with his fan and legs (by hitting the ground) which has wayyy higher damage and also inflicts the wet status, it also acts as a mode like childe's blades so he'll only do that until it reaches cooldown

Ult : if his special isn't activated he'll summon a giant fish skeleton that will get rid of 2 opponents at C0, if his special is activated the area he's in floods and the opponents gets dragged under the water (99% crit success rate except he loses hp during it)

Passive talent : when mei lan is in ur party mobs dont see u unless u directly engage combat, rare liyue mobs drop rates are also boosted (u can get 4 star artefacts from hilichurls), BUT if u have wuxiang he'll have a lower drop rate on his banner and lower base stats

Special dish : absolutly nothing. He can't cook he will burn everything u give him and it'll actually decrease ur stats. He gives u food poisoning basically.

Wuxiang (5 star) :

Banner name : "immortal antique shop owner" where he has a drop rate of 40% if u have anything that belongs to mei lan or mei lan himself (he's annoying)

Weapon name : "dream of glaze lilies" which is his catalyst

Attack : fast cryo spells if u hold the button or if u spam it he'll just start hitting ppl with his hands which also does more damage

Special attack : summons a shield and throws ice shards at opponents

Ult : the surrounding area and the opponents gets surrounded by a prison of ice flowers (it doesn't affect wuxiang) and the opponents get cryo damage overtime but hitting them into the flowers just instantly kills them

Passive talent : if u have mei lan on the team he'll just randomly stop attacking sometimes my bad, same talent as xingqiu where when u purchase books u get double of them, also increases artefact quality and can pinpoint every book for the archive on the map

Special dish : he also can't fucking cook but his special dish is his version of adepti's temptation called "suspicious tempation" where the stats u get from eating it are randomized,,,,,the crit rate is still good but anything else could decrease

Junko (5 star) :

Banner name : "beast tengu of loyalty" where he has increased drop rate if noburu or noburu's weapon is in ur team

Weapon name : "destruction of timeless battles" which is his polearm

Attack : slams and swings his polearm around like a madman and it creates a mini explosion everytime and it inflicts lasting pyro damage EXCEPT he's so reckless he burns himself too so his hp decreases slowly

Special attack : he switches to pyro talismans and can make 2 big fire tornados that can mix with junko's cryo only

Ult : transforms into a big dog for a while and mauls everything near him inflicting pyro damage

Passive talent : natural cryo res he can't get cryo damage unless he's straight up frozen after being inflicted wet

Special dish : konpeito,,,,,but with like chili powder on top and it gives him increased pyro damage,,,,he's crazy im so sorry

Noburu (5 star) :

Banner name : "beast tengu of knowledge" where he has increased drop rate if u have junko or junko's weapon

Weapon name : "voice of trials" which is his scythe

Attack : noburu spins his scythe 3 times around slowly and them plants it in the ground fast on the 4th strike and inflicts lasting cryo damage

Special attack : can dash for 10 seconds and leave a trail that inflicts cryo damage (very slow cooldown tho)

Ult : transforms into a big snake for a while and can either bite (inflicts cryo and poison damage) or choke ppl out u choose

Passive talent : 70% drop rate on his banner if ur team is all girls when pulling for him and increased crit rate and running speed when the same condition is met

Special dish : ice cream mochi from cryo slimes that give u increased crit damage and crit rate and increased cryo damage

Ada (5 star) :

Banner name : "the fallen monarchy"

Weapon name : "incarnation of thorns" which is their sword

Attack : in normal attacks she just hits with the umbrella mode of her weapon while inflicting electro damage (very high base elemental mastery)

Special attack : just like childe she van switch from umbrella wacking mode to sword mode where her speed and damage increases

Ult : her sword turns into a bow, the sky darkens and she just summons thunder as an arrow and can inflict damage on a whole group of ennemies

Passive talent : mobs can disengage from the fight without reaching 0 hp and still drop loot (she scares them off basically), if jean in the team she gets increased everything

Special dish : its rose flavored black tea that heals all of ur health no matter how low ur hp is :))

Jiahao (5 star) :

Banner name : "death will come before graduation does"

Weapon name : "a cat's paragon" which is his shotgun <3

Attack : it works like any bow user so he has normal shots and charged shots that make more damage just that his is pyro damage

Special attack : it locks onto up to 3 opponents and fires at high speed without the need to aim (so more like a rifle then a shotgun)

Ult : he just calls over up to 6 (3 until he's at C3) of his flying robot turrets that keep firing at the opponents (so u can switch characters and still have the turrets)

Passive talent : once u find all the volumes of a book series u can get 3 blue fates, and drops from ruin guards/hunters/graders are drastically increased and can be exchanged for other materials during his character event

Special dish : his own version of the fullmoon egg dish thats just ridiculously spicy and as a result it heals u fully and boosts ur attack as much as bennett's ult <3

Najma (5 star) :

Banner name : "oathkeeper, promise of the fool" where he has an increased drop rate by 50% when u actually go to his spot in game🙄

Weapon name : "celestial arcana" which is his personal tarot deck that acts as a catalyst

Attack : he throws cards into a circle at his opponents while levitating and inflicting electro damage, when the circle is completed every opponent in it will take an additional electro strike

Special attack : they'll pick a major arcana card at random and it'll manifest into a mascot that will distract and fight opponents while inflicting electro damage (exemple : he pulls the wheel of fortune and a wheel rolls around inflicting damage)

Ult : they do a 3 card pull and with each slam of the card on the ground opponents take increased electro damage and if they're still standing the cards in the ground will buff any other character's crit rate and damage

Passive talent : increased luck at quite literally everything whether it be drop rates with mobs or weekly bosses or gacha pulls, when mona is on the team they get extreme luck and won't take damage during the first minute of every fight

Special dish : they're vegetarian so they make their own version of the satisfying salad which is also mona's go to dish because they are simply besties

Claire (4 star) :

Weapon name : "crucifix of doom's messenger" yeah :) thats his sword

Attack : claire will either do a succession of sword slashes if u spam the button or do pirouettes and cast a series of ribbons of water toward the opponents

Special attack : up to 3 opponents are trapped into water bubbles and take damage

Ult : its called "odette's death" and he spawns water wings that close in on groups of opponents casting massive hydro damage, at C6 his ult changes and the area changes into a performance scene where they can't fight and all of his attacks get a massive buff

Passive talent : u don't take fall damage if claire's on ur team, he doesn't eat a lot so he can't get healed often with food because he'll be full in one dish

Special dish : meringue that buffs ur defense so u take less damage

Loki (5 star) :

Banner name : "make sure to get an autograph" where they have 80% chances to drop because they're an attention whore

Weapon name : "official fanclub lightstick" just a magical girl staff that acts as catalyst

Attack : alternates between anemo spells that do crazy damage or just beating opponents up with the lightstick and it gives hp to other teammates

Special attack : extra fast combo where he summons 4 blades of wind that hit groups of opponents

Ult : does a cute pose and sends opponents flying in one group except they start beating them tf up with big anemo cat paws

Passive talent : they're cute they don't need to bring u anything. If Barbara is on the team they'll make more damage, if diluc is on the team they'll make more damage except for every wack of the lightstick thats supposed to heal, diluc looses hp

Special dish : sugar cookies with their face and autograph on them that heal u and give anemo damage bonus

Brynja (5 star) :

Banner name : "vocare hostem veneno" (call of the poison foe) where his drop rate depends on the first ending u got on his hangout event

Weapon name : "annihilator of the forsaken" which is his sword

Attack : heavy. Attacks. They do the most physical damage while inflicting lasting poison damage and on the 5th attack brynja hits the opponent with a wheel of fire

Special attack : its a magical attack where they send a wave of poison at their opponent (if u do it in grass the grass will die in the direction it takes)

Ult : sets fire to the whole era who matter the type of ground and their attacks get buffed, the opponents can't leave the fire zone and get lasting damage of everything

Passive talent : brynja can teleport anywhere without the need of a waypoint and at night their attacks get stronger, at C6 u unlock astaroth's power for 2 minutes when brynja dies and he can one hit most opponents, if put in a team with xiao he will get the effect swirl on most of his pyro attacks

Special dish : vanilla fudge that heal :))

[kendrixtermina]

The Recruitment Freebies: Thoughts on Sylvain and Felix

Now when it comes to recruiting characters, there are 2 who kind of stand out and are, in their own way, somewhat ‘easier’ to get.

Sylvain joins you automatically if you’re playing fem Byleth, whereas Felix actually requires high stats/abilities that no one else does but since your primary weapon is most likely going to be a sword anyways and he requires sword skill, he’s actually not so hard to collect. Given that they’re both handy units (Felix kicks butt like no tomorrow, Sylvain is pretty customizable and gets a relic early on) you’re sorta encouraged to snatch one or both.

If you’ve seen them in their original environment, you’ll easily notice why: They’re kind of the kingdom’s token cynics. 

[Longer Essay Under The Cut]

The Initial Situation

One thing that stands out right away is that the Blue Lions are one of the tightest-knit groups: The Black Eagles have sort of vaguely heard of each other because most the imperial nobility lives in the capital and the one commoner used to be famous, but that’s it, only Linhardt and Dorothea really express any regret over betraying Edelgard if they do, and their fates don’t differ that much by whatever faction they’re in - Ferdinand is certainly sad to see the Empire itself go down (see that amusing line about an ‘Adrestia-shaped hole in [his] heart’) and has a minor existential crisis when his family’s lands are confiscated after he spend his whole life preparing to rule them, but while he gets that line wondering what might have become of him if Byleth had chosen a different path, he pretty much always becomes a statesman no matter who winds up on the throne.

The Golden Deer, meanwhile, are from wildly different backgrounds and even Claude just showed up last year. If they stay together, they eventually become a tight-knit group under Claude’s leadership (except Lorenz, if Byleth’s not with them), and if you recruit em,  they will largely pursue their own interests as they were never too unified to begin with, with most of the commoners saying they were never that involved in politics, and most of the nobles acting out of self-preservation or opportunism.

By contrast, most of the Blue Lions know each other personally and will be pretty conflicted about defecting from the Kingdom if you recruit them, and it’s no wonder:

Sylvain, Felix Ingrid and Dimitri were childhood friends and all big weapons enthusiasts, Dedue has followed Dimitri everywhere he went for the last few years, Anette’s father worked for Dimitri’s, Mercedes is Anette’s BFF from magic school and while Ashe didn’t know the others before since he was a poor village kid before Lonato took him in, he becomes fast friends with the rest of them due to their shared admiration of knight stories.

So in this more idealistic and old-fashioned groups, Sylvain and Felix can be thought of as the token cynics or more independently-minded characters. This is most obvious with Felix: He sticks out like a sore thumb, vocally expresses his dislike of the others and their values and basically keeps to himself on the training grounds, and its only through the other’s doormatsey dispositions that they seem determined to ignore his hostilities and continue considering him a friend whether he wants to or not. He doesn’t fit in with the other Blue Lions at all.

Sylvain, meanwhile, doesn’t stand out that much at first glance, he seems like another fairly common character archetype in the silly childhood friends lineup and gives Ingrid plenty of cause to get into Mom Friend mode,  but the whole thing with him is that while he pretends to be a hedonistic oaf, he’s actually something of a brooding intellectual type underneath, very ‘byronic’ overall.

Ultimately, both of them are motivated by a desire for, and love of freedom. (which is probably why a lot of ppl think they’d be a compatible and interesting as a romantic couple - for all their outward difference, they have a common ‘core’ there)  Sylvain has been treated all his life like his life and power don’t really belong to himself and he desperately strains against those binds by acting out, and Felix finds his countrymen to have a bit of a grostesque lemming mentality and wants no part of that.

At the same time both show their ‘cynism’ in very different ways, and neither of them is a ‘complete’ cynic, but the areas where you find their residual idealism are also different. I would say that Felix’ cynism is more apparent, while Sylvain’s runs much deeper, but more on that later.

Though he cares little about maintaining a reputation and indeed seems to sorta seek out or get a kick out doing what his father would hate, calling himself a ‘good for nothing/scoundrel/ someone who’s going to hell’, to sorta go against that pressure to be a good kid, when it comes down to it he’s actually still pretty honorable and does actually believe in The Power Of Friendship (as noted by both Ashe and Dimitri - it’s probably why they like him) He’s inclined to be a Good Guy, he just doesn’t want the pressure that goes along with it.

It reminds me a bit of that one Fiona Apple song: “Do I wanna do right? Of course./ But Do I really wanna feel I’m forced to/  answer you?/ Hell no!”

Felix meanwhile - well. Some might say he’s tsundere, and I suppose he is, stock phrases wise, but to put it more specifically what he is is counterdependent.  Which is a word commonly used to describe that teenage behavior of always doing the exact opposite of what your parents or the mainstream do, thereby being just as influenced as a dependent person. It’s closer to being dependent than indepedent - He wants badly to be independent, but doesn’t really know how. He still very much has attachments to his father and his oldtime childhood friends, he just rejects them fiercely, because between Glenn’s death and his first deployment to Sreng, he came to see that attachment as something that will destroy him, something incompatible with self-preservation. He still dearly loves Rodrigue, Dimitri and the others, but he doesn’t want to be like them. He wants to be free, he’s a reasonable man and sees that they’re all walking off a cliff and he doesn’t wanna jump of of it, but his opposition is so absolute because some part of his kind of wants to.

At the same time he’s not entirely a complainer for complaining’s sake. Though very fighting-focussed he has his own strong code of ethics and standards- Dimitri markedly falls short of them. They’re not that different, Felix too feels the wide open wound of being still bonded and attached  to people who aren*t there anymore (”Training for a duel with a corpse”, as he puts it) - But while Dimitri let it eat his life (though there’s more complexity here of course but that would derail this into a whole different essay), Felix kinda errs on the opposite side of pushing down all attachment, but at the same time, he does it because he’s concerned with saving the ones who are still alive. That’s the point he stresses in his paralogue where he argues with his father, “We’re here to protect our subjects”. He wants to protect himself, yes, but he also wants to protect other people. He’s all about that.  He wants people to protect themselves not glorify throwing their lives away.

Which is why despite all his vocal complaining he still ultimately hangs out with the others, cannot help but worry about their wellbeing etc.  They might be negative bonds now but they’re still very much bonds.

Meanwhile, in Sylvain’s case the cynism comes not from rejection but disillusionment and distrust. He’s a good guy but his ability to form bonds is almost completely destroyed. All his life he got showered with fake conditional love while being presented with an example of what would happen if he didn’t stay in ppl’s good graces: His brother, who’d been dropped like a hot potato. I don’t think he can think of himself as good; He kinda got treated as an unfair existence the moment he came into the world.   At least if you get no love, you still have the hope that you might eventually get love. But fake love? Fake love poisons everything. It’s disgusting wrong, it’s not really for you and it just makes you wanna get rid of it by any means neccessary. Speaking from experience here.

Apart from the bonds he got with his childhood friend and those with exceptional people skills like Byleth, Mercedes and Dorothea, he doesn’t really trust anyone beyond a certain level.

But that’s a subtle distinction.

At first the most apparent difference, and the first contrast to come up in their support chain, is focus. Felix responded to the unpleasantness in his past with absolute laser focus, particularly on fighting and becoming stronger, whereas Sylvain avoids ever the appearance of focus like the plague, downplays his capabilities and chases distractions in a way that may be rather relatable to those of us who had the whole weird-ass Gifted Child Experience. Hence, Sylvain might come off as extravagant/frivolous while Felix appears disciplined, even ascetic.

This is also apparent in how its implied that they “jump ship” - Sylvain does it on a whim because of fem Byleth’s ample bosoms, (whereas man Byleth needs to impress him with reason skill which ties more into his hidden dephts) whereas with Felix it would tie into his pursuit of strenght and how he focusses on that more than anything else. Byleth stands out as a badass, so Felix juins his class or that’s his reasoning in the dialogue he gets.

But at the same time what we see here is that both were born with great natural power but don’t want that defining their lives. Sylvain downplays and refuses to use his, while Felix is determined to get straight that he actually “earned” through his harsh discipline and dedication, and vocally disavows conventional wisdom (”Crests, lineagle, knighthood... all trifles. Only strenght and skill matter”)

Post-Timeskip

So while a lot of characters like, say, Dorothea, get alot of the same dialogues in each route, others kind of get different little arcs depending on where they end up - for example if you recruit Lorenz for the empire he will at first join out of pure opportunism (that, and trying to get mercy for his corrupt-ass father), but then towards the last few months, he’ll actually come around to Edelgard’s way of thinking.

Felix is one of the characters whose dialogue differs the most by route - church & Alliance overlap a lot though with a few pointed differences, and his ending narrations are totally different depending on whether you recruited him or left him with the Kingdom. Of course, this would have to differ to an extent as he can’t exactly become Dimitri’s right hand when there’s no Dimitri, but the outcomes are starkly different to the point that even his paired endings with different characters all have two versions.

In the Kingdom route he generally succeeds his father whereas in the other routes, he typically renounces his title and becomes a mercenary unless his partner or BFF convinces him otherwise.

Unlike, say, Ferdinand, who does about the same thing regardless of who he ends up working under, for Felix the decision to ditch his classmates is a big big turning point, a choice

Sylvain by contrast has rather more similar endings wherever he goes and his dialogues are more similar - one highlight being how he has the exact same “history is written by the winners, whoever wins will say they’re right war will probably always exist...” lines regardless of whether he’s fighting for or against Edelgard. Whenever he isn’t commenting on the weather of their next destination or the general suckyness of the war, he remains mildly sceptical of whatever side he’s on, including one memorable instance where he refers to poor Hubert as “Edelgard’s idiot sidekick” and thinks they should try more negotiating, though he’s not blind to Dimitri’s flaws either when they go fight him.

Not really a big joiner or believer, this one, no illusions about how they could always be wrong, which perhaps makes it more touching how he invariably ends up becoming a peacemaker and activist after the war, basically becoming a fulltime do-gooder.

Since the inner mechanics with Felix are quite different, so are his outcomes. Sylvain’s gonna be like “I’m not optimistic but I gotta try doing the right thing”, no atter who he’s following, but you get a whole different Felix depending on what route you’re playing.

Because for him, wether to stick with Team Kingdom or not kinda represents a choice between his lingering attachment and his drive to reject that.

In the Kingdom route, he stays a lot more like he was in his academy days: Complains a lot, but still sticks with everyone to the end. He sort of fills the role of the contrarian number two, the one providing a contrastic viewpoint (while, Sylvain, while not optimistic, is no less stubborn about sticking with a friend in need than the rest of Team Kingdom)

He comes across as the Only Sane Man at times, esp. when he calls Titanic on the whole Revenge Trip to Gronder, “Iceberg ahead? ya’ll seeing the iceberg right?” but of course if you’re just complaining you’re kinda part of the problem - He muses that he must be crazy too, if he’s going along with everybody. Can’t bring himself to leave. Eventually that attachment wins out and he doesn’t even bother hiding it especially once Dimitri gets his act together. At that point he figures that the best he can do is to keep him on-course. Though they don’t go back to the same dynamic they once had, they go back to being BFF and the new dynanic is probably more useful to Dimitri as a counterpoint, they pretty much each succeed their fathers in proper Kingdom Manner and stay an A-team for the rest of their lives just like their das were. Idealism triumphs, though it’s a more matured, well-thought out one that is less about high standards and more about forgiveness/redemption.

It seems like he kinda became what he didn’t want to be early on (in the paired ending with Dimitri he even winds up in one of those chivalric tales he used to hate!), but it also looks like that made him happy. Maybe because it resolved the contradiction and tension within himself, all the energy he expends in rejecting his feelings of attachment, to like, actively not care about Dimitri.

I mean in their B support at one point he almost accidentally lapses back into Nerding Out About Swords Like Old Times - He needs to actively remind himself that he’s supposed to hate Dimitri now, and he does an even worse job at No Longer Liking the others.

Indeed when he gets what he ostensibly wanted, or rather what he wants to want, it doesn’t seem to make him all that happy - This was indeed the realization that prompted me to do this analysis. He goes full lonesome cowboy and marches off and he doesn’t sound all that happy about what he’s done, and his paired ending with Sylvain is one of the ones that makes it very obvious - In the Kingdom route, they stay Together Forever as they were in childhood, like they never got estranged at all. In the other routes it’s a sad, melancholic, darkly romantic thing about how Sylvain inherited his title, Felix came to help him out once and they never saw each other again, and Sylvain eventually gets a keepsake from Felix... and this is if you recruit them both. They get a sad enough dialogue if you grab only one and make them fight each other, but even if they run away together, essentially, they don’t become happy together.

The circumstances aren’t that different, if they still wound up in the same faction - But Felix is different.

Because he doesn’t just leave because of Byleth’s heroic charisma like many of the others - He  goes because, in essence, he is putting his pursuit of strength over his lingering attachments for his friends. To leave the kingdom means to actually become what he pretends to be. To actually become a lonewolf warrior who cares only about strenght rather than an ultimately loyal tsundere.

Which is where the above rambles about counter-dependency come to bear: He says he doesn’t care but he does, so much he can’t stop. So to take this step, which at the time seens reasonable and sane and free to him, is to cut off part of himself.

Though even here there are different gradations depending on where you recruit him to.

In the Alliance and church routes he simply jumps ship on the kingdom out of self-preservation. Sanity before Honor, just like he was always talking about. The kingdom’s in horrible shape, it can’t win, or so he sees it, Sylvain’s reasoning is pretty much the same but more resigned/sad (”There was nothing I could do”), after all for all they know, Dimitri is long dead (though Felix, always one with keen insight, suspect him to be alive a bit before he shows up)

Then Dimitri turns up alive, but promptly gets himself killed, and Felix regrets it. Every bit as much as other kingdom characters. He wonders if he could have stopped Dimitri if he’d been with him. He channels this into avenging Dimitri first on the empire and then on TWSITD, and starts using his name at this point.

Tellingly enough, he refers to the local afterlife beliefs that are so prominently featured in the Kingdom route. The ones that Rodrigue taught to both Felix and Dimitri and that likely played a role in the latter’s inability to forgive himself for all that Rodrigue is largely a good man who was a positive influence. He talks about “facing” Dimitri in the afterlife or allowing him to rest in peace much like Dimitri’s own talk about appeasing the dead - As much as he’d like to be Felix was not actually immune to his upbringing. basically he really regrets it.

The church and alliance routes differ somewhat in the dialogue before the last stage in a way that makes the church route seem “milder” - He considers working under Byleth once they become King/Queen, so he doesn’t seem quite as “lost”, whereas in the alliance route he expresses interest in dueling Nemesis. Not that far beyond his usual “must fight worthy opponents/ blood knight attude” but certainly more of an embracement of it and also very reckless, since as far as we knew the zombie horde is blazing an almost unhindered trail through the land and pretty much had Hilda’s renowned invincible brother for breakfast.

The empire route, of course, requires him to go even further - it’s one thing to evacuate a sinking ship, another to go a path where there’s a good chance that he’ll have to go against, and even fight/kill his former comrades. The game sure included tons of unique dialogue for this. You can even have his feud with his father end quite lethally, and Dimitri will even comment on it when you engage him. Ouch!

Right after the holy tomb scene most the recruitees’ dialogues are either some variation of “I’m scared but I trust you sensei” or “Now that she’s actually explained her reasoning, Edelgard’s got a point” - Felix’ is neither.

Though he’d presumably agree that Crests and Status are overrated, that’s not what he talks about. He says he wants to forge his own path, one that isn’t his father’s or Dimitri’s.  

He may or may not be doing the right thing but it’s for the wrong reason.

It’s a decision that’s perfectly logical if you feature in all factors except for his own heart - by which I don’t mean some bullshit 19th century “head vs heart” contrast but simply self-knowledge, which is necessary to make choices that you won’t regret, especially when the ‘correct’ path is ambiguous.

He wants to be free, deeply and desperate but, there’s also the counterdependency in play. He’s not going with the Empire because he wants to go with the empire, but because he wants to go against Rodrigue and Dimitri. Rejecting them to prove to himself that he can.

And turns out he can. He can cut em all down, with fairly unfazed Dialogue about how he’s going his own path, will never bow to the likes of Dimitri, will pursue strenght no matter who stands in his way etc.

They all curse him for betraying him, only Sylvain who’s not the sort to have much certainty about being right, gets more of a “sad/tragic” line about their childhood promise.

But that’s on the battlefield. Back at the monastery it’s a different matter. In this route he shows significantly LESS regret about what happens to the kingdom peeps - after all, he knew he’d be fighting them. He’s just completely embraced the ‘living to fight’ thing here and you get the sense that some other parts of his may have been lost in the process.

Ironically he says he killed more ppl than he can count and that he’s practically as bad as Dimitri now (”Your better world better be worth this”, indeed...) and while he’s completely unflinchingly resolute he’s not exactly unphased.

You can certainly understand why he’d end up as a restless sorta wandering mercenary  (interesting, too that if you pair him with Byleth they’ll go with him - interesting enough in its own right since that’s the sort of life they use to have before coming to the academy)

So I guess this could all  ultimately be seen as a parable on ‘be careful what you wish for’, or, more accurately, ‘know yourself before making wishes’.

[henrik-von-schneeplestein]

If you were introducing Taylor Swift's music to someone unfamiliar with her music, which five songs would you recommend?

AAAAH this was tough!!!! I will say it kind of depends on the person and what they like - assuming they know the really big songs, it would kinda depend. Like if they like ‘Love Story’ and ‘You Belong With Me’ they’re gonna love the whole Fearless album bc the album is very consistent in style, whereas Red is all over the map in terms of genre/type of song/mood, and Speak Now is good if they like slower & more ethereal songs, and so on. But like just in general some good picks:

1. “Holy Ground” is always what comes to mind as the quintessential Taylor song - it feels like it’s sort of right at the center of the huge expanse of different things she’s done in her career. It’s fast, but still kind of has the sound of her older songs, and amazing lyrics.

2. “Getaway Car” is a good one for a new listener bc I straight up have never met anyone who doesn’t like “Getaway Car,” nor do I want to. It’s an absolute banger and the lyrics are not only great but there’s also a really cool story to it. “Cruel Summer” is another good choice in terms of like general crowd pleasers - Swift/Antonoff collabs always come through

3. “All Too Well” - this might be unpopular bc I know some ppl get tired of everyone saying this is her best song, and I agree, I don’t think it’s the single best one, but I think there’s a reason people say it and no one can deny it’s a masterpiece. I also think it’s hard to disagree with people who call it the best breakup song ever written, even though she does have a lot of incredible ones

4. “Long Live” is my favorite song, so I would probably play it for someone if I wanted to introduce them to Taylor!!

5. I was really stumped on a fifth one and then I thought ‘hey maybe the fifth should be a live performance so they could really see her in her element!!’ and my fave live personally is “I Knew You Were Trouble.” on the 1989 Tour (I am at least half of the views on this video lol) or if you’re looking for something that wasn’t a single, the Wildest Dreams/Enchanted mashup (also from the 1989 tour) is a close second. The moral is that the 1989 Tour was amazing and I’m gonna go watch it now fjghfjghfghf

[faintly-aloof]

The Skam 11 questions tag

rules:

1.       always repost the rules

2.       answer the questions given to you by the one who tagged you!

3.       give 11 questions

4.       tag 11 people

Thank you @homofilskammer and @hufflepuff-ish for tagging me, guys! I appreciate it, you rock!

1. When did you first start watching skam?

It was during Christmas right after season 3 of og finished, I binged all three seasons in a few days.

2. What is your favourite season to watch out of the 4?

Season 3 without a doubt. I love that season with all my heart.

3. Favourite remake

That’s a hard one, I feel like I can't really choose. Season 1 is my favourite in Skam it and Skam nl, season 2 in Druck, Wtfock, season 3 in Skam fr, Skam it and Skam es and Druck (i just said all of them lol), season 4 in Druck even though just one episode is out.

4. Least Favourite scene to watch

The one in season 2 where William leaves Noora crying on the ground because I hate that, and hotel scene in season 3 because it hurts too much.

5. Character you relate to the most

I guess it could be Eva, since she was feeling alone in her season, she was trying to find herself, trying to belong somewhere. And Even because of his mental ilness.

6. How many times have you rewatched skam?

A lot of times lol. I don’t usually rewatch other series but Skam is the exception. It always makes me feel different things. I always find smth new in it that I haven’t noticed before.

7. What remakes have you watched?

All of them, Im obssessed ok.

8. Which characters do you wish would get their own season after season 4?

Engel from skam nl, that girl deserves it, she would be an amazing main.

Elia from skam it, Eliott from skam france.

I’m buzzin‘ about Arthur’s season, i can’t even describe how excited I am.

9. Remake with the best soundtrack

Druck and Skam nl use amazing songs. And actually, what i didn’t expect at all was the soundtrack from Skam fr season 3, even though they had a low budget they used such an amazing artists that i haven’t heard about before.

10. What country would you want to get their own remake?

I would love to see a Slavic country, like Polish maybe. I know it wouldn’t be perfect, it would probably be a disaster, but i would watch it anyway. Also what about a Vietnamese skam? That would be wonderful.

11. One thing you would have changed in Skam and/or the remakes

It would certainly be the moment from season 2 where William walks away from Noora while she is crying and begging him on the ground, I hate that scene to pieces, that’s why I’m so glad that skam it and druck got rid of this scene

Also, I would love to get a season 3 without cheating, and I would change season 4 of og and france because Sana and Imane deserved so much more.

---------

 1.       If you could create an ultimate girl squad, who out of the skam universe would be in it and why?

There would definitely be Noora and Sana from og, Eva from Skam it, Cris from Skam es, Kiki and Amira from Druck, Imane and Alexia from Skam fr and Engel, Isa and Liv and Janna from Skam nl, and Zoe from Wtfock.

2.       If you could change one thing in each remake, what would it be?

(same answer) It would certainly be the moment from season 2 where William walks away from Noora while she is crying and begging him on the ground, I hate that scene to pieces, that’s why I’m so glad that skam it and druck got rid of this scene

Also, I would love to get a season 3 without cheating, and I would change season 4 of og and france because Sana and Imane deserved so much more.

3.       What is one plotline that you wish to see in a remake of your choice? (go wild lol)

Mental illness. I know that they acknowledged mi in season 3 but that's not enough since it's not from the point of view of a person dealing with mi. I feel like so much ppl would be so grateful to finally get our Even season since we didn't get it in the original. I want to get into his head, to feel his struggles, pain, thoughts.

4.       Which side character would you want to have their own season?

I would give my life for an Engel season. I love that girl to pieces, she is so well written. Also, an Elia’s season would make my life so much happier lol.

5.       What do you wish the fandom would appreciate more in each remake? (could be a season, a character, a scene, anything)

I feel like season one of each remake is not very appreciated. Like I get that it doesn't really have the biggest plot twist or whatever, but it's so important. The loss of friends, trying to find new ones and belong somewhere, finding yourself, struggles in a relationship, people deal with these themes on a daily basis. It's actually so helpful to see it on the screen.

6.       If you could create a crossover between the og/one of the remakes and a movie/tv series/book, what would it be?

Can we get a Skam in Harry Potter’s world? How freaking amazing would that be? The characters being wizards in Hogwarts while dealing with the problems that are acknowledged in Skam. Now I want this really bad.

7.       A crack ship that you wish would happen?

Elippo! pls made it happen

8.       Is there a character that is very different from you/you never thought you would like, but you ended up loving?

I have never really been a fan of Jonas, idk why, he wasn't bad or anything just not a person I would have a lot in common with but that changed with Giovanni, he is the best friend you could get, so helpful and understanding and omg everyone should have their own Gio.

9.       What is your favorite friendship? 

The Italian boy squad is the definition of friendship, also the Skam nl girl squad.

10.   Do you read any og/remakes fanfiction and if so, do you have any favorite fanfictions?

Actually, i don't. I used to love fanfics when I was younger but now I don't really like it as much? I am certain that the ppl writing these are doing amazing jobs and maybe I will give a shot to some of the fanfics I sometimes see on my dashboard, but now I'm not really in the mood for it.

11.   Would you have preferred if Skam worked a bit more like Skins did, in terms of every character gets a full episode from their pov instead of an entire season?

Definitely not. I loved Skins but just the thought of not being in the main character’s head for like three months straight? no i don't want it lol

But i wouldn't have a problem with the entirely last season to have episodes about the characters that didn't get their own season.

My 11 questions:

1. If you could get a Skam from any country where would it take place?

2. What character in all Skam universes is your least favorite?

3. If there would be a chance to get a Skam feature movie, about which character would you want it to be?

4. If you could play one of the characters, who would you choose?

5. What would you say to your favorite characters if you met them?

6. If you could create one Skam character, what would the person be like?

7. Which Skam would you choose to get renewed for their own seasons?

8. What character is the most similar to you?

9. If you could change one season from Skam and do it your way, what would it be about? (it can be anything)

10. Would you want to see Skam taking place in your country (if it already doesn't)?

11. In which girl/boy squad would you love to belong to?

I tag:

@loveforpiccolinoandbambi @lucasonthesun @sunflowerchaos @notactuallygay @idonthaveanydamnidea @amorgignitamore @247-series @icnthndlemylifesorry @skamuniverses @all-the-mecs @children-with-the-cheap-cocaine

[heterophobiclesbean]

I HATE that post going around about how ace discourse has fucked uo so many people back into the closet and they don't feel safe coming out... Like yeah I've seen some mean posts directed at ace ppl that were unnecessary but jfc we've always been like "u can be ace but if ur cishet just don't say ur LGBT k?" And then had to deal with so much homophobia and being compaired to horrible fucking people.

i mean im gonna be honest here... i can see where ace people are coming from when they read posts that are aggressively worded about aces engaging in problematic behaviors and they get upset. Because I empathize with the concept of feeling like you dont fully understand yourself and then suddenly Realizing but then finding out there are people who say negative things about you online and getting hurt because you were excited about an identity that finally made you feel Right. Like im literally a lesbian every LGBT person can understand that feeling

but its also completely ridiculous to compare the ace discourse to actual real life homophobia and transphobia. like in the real world, off tumblr and twitter, homophobia and transphobia do not go away. when trans people want to, i dunno, pee in a public restroom, they cant just block transphobes and log off and go pee. transphobes exist in the real world who will actively harrass and assault trans people. when gay people want to hold hands in public with their partners, they cannot block people who call them slurs or log off. deleting your tumblr account doesnt mean you will no longer experience homophobia.

and like i get it! i really do! i get what its like to be made fun of for something that you cant change about yourself! i get what its like to feel like you belong to a certain group of people because you have some similar experiences! hell, when i was like 15 and dumb as fuck i “”””””””related””””””””” to poc who would always get their names pronounced incorrectly by substitute teachers and whose names nobody could pronounce because my name is Very Very Italian. but just because sometimes people get my name wrong because its foreign to them and people get immigrants’ names wrong because its foreign to them doesnt mean that i have the same experiences as people of color! and i get that sometimes you see a marginalized group that you arent a part of talking about an aspect of their oppression that is something you also deal with (for other reasons) and you can want to relate and find common ground!

but its like when someone says “i have OCD” and someone responds with “oh yeah im a neat freak too!” like!!!!!! its different!!!!!!! its not the same!!!!!!! just because you think you can relate to a marginalized group doesnt mean you are part of that group and it doesnt mean that group owes you sympathy! a white person getting my name wrong and a white person getting a latinx person’s name wrong are different! Context matters, actually!

and for the love of god stop using the phrase “coming out” to talk about things that arent LGBT. you cant “come out” as ace. thats not coming out. you can’t “come out” as a republican. thats not coming out. if you arent lgbt you dont have to “come out” because “coming out” refers explicitly to the lgbt experience of telling someone you are gay/bi/trans/nb/not straight/not cis. telling your friends you are ace is not coming out to them. ugh

[heltunderbart]

rant ahead so please scroll past this

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i kind of don’t wanna be bi i feel like i don’t belong anywhere - straight ppl will say that i might as well be a lesbian since i like girls too and lgbt ppl will say that i might as well be straight since i’m into guys as well so there’s just that middle ground and you can’t find your place and you just feel so alone with this and i don’t wanna feel like this anymore it’s so tiring why do i have to be something that doesn’t belong anywhere according to everyone and their mom!!!!1’

[gg-astrology]

Thanks for the awesome answer to the 8th house stellium ask. I also have an 8th house stellium (Venus/Neptune/Uranus/Saturn) and EVERYTHING I read about it has been pretty scary. If you have time a few thoughts on those particular planets would be appreciated if not no worries. Again thank you. - Stay Free

Hey there! 💕 God I’m just glad it helped someone out there 💕

Wow honestly your placements are one of the better ones in the have in the house imo? I’m going to try to answer to the best of my ability, but it’s probably not like, a straight cut answer. I’m going to focus on stellium support first, then links to your individual placement in the 8th house, and then the importance of aspects to each other. And end up with my opinion of your personal placement in the 8th house (the Real Answer to your question) 

Ps. I don’t think you know but I feel the need to warn you that I talk in like–really whack metaphors/analogies, so if you were looking for a straight-cut answer sjnfksnf I’m sorry I’m probably not the gal  😞💕

[Below Cut: How To Deal With Stellium (8th House) + Venus | Neptune | Uranus | Saturn in 8th House (general positive traits links + my own opinion on them) ] 

Stellium Support: 

I honestly think the houses and the stellium we have in them all just comes down to how we make of it? It’s like the downside of popularity. Having a stellium comes with extra power and fame, but at the same time there’s instability and unsupported aspect that also comes with it. It’s hard to be balanced in a stellium. Some people choose to ignore the downside completely to hype up their good side, some people aren’t so lucky to be able to do that. 

It’s like watching celebrities tabloid sometimes. But ultimately, as the person affected by the stellium, maybe the best way to go about this is to be honest to ourselves as much as possible and try to balance it out in the best way we can (within our resources).

It sound? super vague and hard to do, but think of it as like trying to cope with fame while living a normal life. Reaching out to family, friends, doing groceries, walking the dogs, etc. There’s always going to be some paps and people talking shit about you even when they don’t know you. It all just comes down to sticking to your guts, hustling harder and being as true to yourself as you can be so you can pursue your own happiness.

General Support on Placements: 

As for your placements in the stellium, there’s definitely some good things about it there! Personally, I don’t think anything I can say can really top astrocodex’s description of what it’s like to have those planets in the 8th house. I think this will help you more. It’s a little contradictory but it’s all good basics, and it talks about your placement in an overall better light, I’ll link to it here: Venus | Neptune | Uranus | Saturn

Importance of Aspects: 

Once you’re done with that, it’s a little more to do with aspects to those planets? Conjunctions are important, but whether you have anything from your stellium aspecting a planet outside (Mars, Moon, your Sun, Mercury) is just as important as well. That’s going to be a bit more indicative of how it comes across/affecting you personally. (see like, your Saturn-square-Mercury tells you more about how the stellium is acting/pulling you towards even with your Venus. It’s a chain bond. (link to an answered ask about conjunctions acting as chain bonds to each other if you need more details/clarification))

My Opinion on Venus | Neptune | Uranus | Saturn in 8th House:

If you’re asking me personally, I think having your Venus-Neptune there is amazing. Sure there’s bad parts to it during the development, but once you reap the result of your hard work (Saturn) you’re such an incredibly giving person in your relationship? You hustle hard for it, and there’s hardship but you have the inner-strength to get through it. For sure. Your core is way tougher than anyone else out there. And within that, is the softness that you’re capable of demonstrating as well. 

“An individual with this placement will definitely have to learn how to let go, no matter if it is belongings, beloved people or situations that end. Of course, he will be reborn in a new light, wiser and more experienced to embrace what is of value.”Theastrocodex 

Besides the Venus-Neptune aspect. Your Neptune-Uranus also smoothen out the ride. Yes, there are some downsides to it. But you’re flagged by Venus-Saturn on both your side here and it’ll help counterbalance everything into order again. You’re capable of so much more, you just have to reach out for it. 

Saturn’s actually pretty good for you here? Since it helps with keeping everything un-tilted. Think of it as an aircraft maybe? Your Venus and Saturn are the wings, and this Neptune-Uranus is the body. The external environment can be tumultuous, especially since Neptune-Uranus is acting like a portal thats sucking everything in. But with the help of Venus (some active/conscious positive thinking/self-care/treating yourself right) and Saturn (learning from experience, being grounded, trying not to lose control of reality) you’re bound to get through the ride without crashing. 

I hope you got what you need from this 💕 and I hope this answer somewhat got to help you. I know I didn’t like, give it to you straight. But I think this is the best way to tackle 8th house stellium in general. 

Like it’s so much more than just death and taxes? People think 10th house talks about fame but 8th house has just as much of an influence on if not more on the behind-the-scene of those fame (supporting it up). The analogies were catered to point to that. 

I didn’t want to leave you hanging, but the section on your placement + aspects were more of a DIY How To Read Your Chart or get a general read from it. I think it’s important to form your own positive opinion about it first, to counteract all the negative agendas. Instead of me just going in and babbling my mouth bc nobody with a 8th house placement would probably believe me on the first go dsjkfnk (possibly)

I added my own opinion in the end just in case it helps you. It’s more like, an add on to the astrocodex stuff but put into a metaphor for you to see all the good stuff about yourself and maybe take it off from there. You’re capable of being more, doing more, loving more. There’s turbulence on the air-craft, but some people enjoy the thrill of it y know? (it also stops ppl from going to the bathroom, which is always thrilling to see ppl getting told off for doing it ksdfn

Enjoy the ride! Let some shit go, learn to love yourself since you’re already capable of doing so much with that Venus already! You have all the materials and resources to make this shit right, and you’re definitely going to get out of it alive, maybe a little frayed, but ultimately winning the game! 

I hope this helps you!  💕 Thank you for asking!! 💕 I hope it kinda helps??