#storytelling isn't my thing at all but i really needed to put this experience into tangible form

[sgkjd]

i think i had the most dramatic moment in my entire life yesterday. you know those moments when as a child you used to look out your parents car window and feel like you're in some music video? istg it felt like this but amplified. i may have felt emotions that are unable to be expressed in words yet.

so i went to the sea again. it's my favorite time to go now because the beaches are still empty of people but it's already warm enough to be able to sit down and let the sound of waves crashing wash off your every thought..

anyways, so i'm at the sea. sky completely clear, vivid blue. sun incredibly bright. wind's not too strong or too cold. suddenly i have an urge to touch the water is and see how cold it is. i walk down to it, touch the little waves with my hand – it was freezing, of course. then i'm making my way back up on this sand with an intention to sit down for a bit and pull out my journal to scribble some words there (writing in nature is honestly my favorite thing in the world).

then i feel like i need to lay down right this instant and i do not hesitate and just fall into the sand. and oh my god. suddenly there's tears running down my face, like streams falling down to the side of each of my cheek? it's a bit annoying because i can feel tears falling into my ears and there was already some grains of sand on my face.. well very unpleasant mix of wet + sand. more importantly, why am i crying? and the tears don't stop. i just keep crying. keep feeling the earth below my body and keep crying. honestly, i don't remember when i cried this genuinely.

then i realized: it felt like being home. you know when your body just knows that it can relax and let it out? i guess it did just that. that scene in my neighbor totoro when the little kid is lying on totoro's belly? it felt exactly like it. like being embraced by the entire earth.

i don't know what's it with human connections but it feels like i'll never be able to experience such acceptance/belonging through other humans, for now at least. and it's really okay with me, i'm beginning to get comfortable with this realization; there are needs i will always have unfulfilled, or fulfilled only half-way, but it's okay. it's okay to go through life with my wounds still raw and open, i don't need to heal them so i could start living. they hurt like hell, but it's okay. my favorite song sounds beautiful as hell that i get shivers down my spine – i think it all balances out.

my crying had calmed down a bit. i buried my right hand in sand and kept playing with it. it's always so warm at the top but when you keep digging it gets colder and colder... i love feeling this contrast. suddenly my tears come back in a waterfall again. "i'm really part of this earth" as if surprised i keep looping in my mind. at this point i'm half crying half laughing because of how uncalled and random these tears are. i keep trying to open my eyes to look up at the sky but they just itch so i keep them closed. while playing with the sand, i graduallt calm down for the 2nd time.

i finally open my eyes. some solitary seagulls once in a while fly above me. everything in that moment felt so clear. i knew who i was, i knew where i am, i knew that knowing is not really that important – it's experiencing everything just as it is, letting my sensory system tingle at the signals it receives. how precious everything around me... every person that i've skipped by as i walked the path to the sea, every person i'm unable to form a connection with, sun, sky, dirt, bugs and insects and worms that i'm so scared of.. everything in its place. i am too in my place.

before i knew, the sunlight had dried my tears for me. i was on my way back – reborn yet just as i am always.

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

I admire your patience with those readers who need you to spoon feed them the story. Everything is in the comics but they still manage to go pass it. I can't help but feel a bit sad for them? Do they not understand what they read? Are they not attentive when reading it? I'm legitimately concerned because I function so differently I can't fathom this. If you like a story, isn't it normal to make your best to grasp it's essence and reflect on it? I know I project a lot about this, everyone works and registers things differentely of course but sometimes it's very frustrating to see people consume any media and just completely miss all the important messages in it, or even just fail to get the scenario sometimes, and it feels like it's very common now... Idk I just wanted maybe to have your perspective on this? Sorry for the long post (Been here for a few years now and your a true inspiration to me. All my luv to you! ❤️)

You know, I'm gonna be honest. I used to stress out about this... a LOT.

As a story-brained person, this is definitely something that comes naturally to me, and perhaps to you, and to many other people who are wired similarly. To us, following the path of a story in an analytic, highly detail-motivated manner and unwrapping the themes can be as exciting as lifting up a rock to see the bugs underneath. It's an exciting mental activity that's stimulating and feels effortless.

And yes, as an author who spends literally 60% of my day thinking about this comic and how to draw it, panel it, script it, make it better (I script and panel in my head constantly)........ I have trouble realizing/dealing with the fact that some people are just here to CASUALLY enjoy the story that I am lowkey obsessed with.

But I've come to realize that... that's NORMAL! And healthy.

People have different attention spans for different things.

People have varied ways to read a story and engage with it.

People have unique interests.

People don't have the same amounts of energy to devote to reading!

Maybe someone missed a detail I lovingly and painstakingly put into the dialogue because they're reading the update late at night after a long shift at work. And maybe someone scrolled past the dialogue completely and just got the gist from looking at the art, because they're in a hurry to get to practice at their favorite sportsball.

And maybe someone just had a really bad day with a really bad encounter, and they're reading the update in a terrible mood and instead of seeing MY grey-morality narrative, they're focusing on all the negative points and misread the vibes because of their own biases that stem from places of hurt.

The thing is, I have to be okay with that as an author, because I will NEVER be able to get into my audience's heads and read this comic 'correctly' for my own sake.

They will always have a slightly different interpretation of things, and they will always misunderstand details and miss clues. And sometimes, they will be wrong about the way they read a character's motivations... and sometimes maybe they won't be! That's just a part of communication. That's a part of telling a story.

An imperfect delivery, and an imperfect reception should, in my opinion, be a natural and accepted part of storytelling. We're human, and we all have a different lived experience, and we will ALL have different takes on a comic, even if it's so close that we THINK we are both getting the exact same thing. That small human interpretation variation is a home-made touch that makes it feel more organic.

In short.... Not all light particles make it here from the sun, but damn the result is stunning anyway.

[yuurivoice]

We've hit the stage of Echoes of Evalas' creation that I'm spending a lot of my quiet time with scenes and characters, including time that is usually occupied by...well, nothing creative. At least, it hasn't been creative time in a long while.

Some of the dearest and most important moments of my young creative daydreaming was before bed. If I might overshare, it was specifically as I lay in bed and tried to drown out unpleasantness I'd hear from other rooms of the house. I'll spare you the details.

I didn't even have music at the time, though in later years as I became a depressed teen, I'd throw some music on my computer to fantasize and fall asleep to.

Oftentimes, these stories and characters I'd contemplate were favorites from various things I enjoyed. In time they'd adapt and evolve into something of my own, in worlds and stories of my own making.

Sometimes it wasn't so grand. There were no sweeping narratives or adventures. Just some self insert character being comforted by a friend or a lover.

Recent nights, I've thrown on my EoE playlist and let my mind wander. I haven't really done that in a long time. Haven't had the need to these days. I'm not running from much. Life is quiet. But as I start to turn over more stones and find what's beneath some of the characters and themes I'm exploring, I've found myself here again.

I don't know if anyone will love what I am making, and I never have. Every person who has let my characters and stories into their hearts means a whole lot to me, though. I've not forgotten when all of this was nothing more than a comfort to myself to soothe away all my fear and loneliness.

As it all starts to come together I'm seeing a stark difference between where I am at as a writer and creative in general in comparison to BitterSweet Chapter 1, as I've revisited it recently.

The pieces were there but it's so clear to me that I didn't have the conviction that I do now. I didn't have the comfort or security of knowing that I can take chances and be bold. I thought I had to color within the lines, and lacked the confidence to really let it rip.

So as much as I've been looking forward, I've also looked back. Further back than I typically like to.

When Charlie said he never thought he'd be this old, that was real shit man. I was a morbid kid. I have a crystal clear memory of being on a school bus in Washington state. Blink 182 just dropped an album. I hate Blink 182, but I listened with a friend whose face I can barely remember. As the high schoolers got on the bus I remember thinking...damn, I'll never be that old.

Not sure what could possess a child to feel that way. Or how that feeling could linger for years. It took a long time to find enough faith in myself to live. Now that I've got it, I think I'm encouraged to give breath to those lost dreams and wandering fantasies. Echoes of Evalas is an exploration of that.

I can't even grasp what that really means yet.

Things like faith, anger, insecurity, and longing for change. I've rattled a lot of locked doors while digging up this story and putting it together.

I am uneasy. That's probably how I've ended up writing this essay in bed, and boy is it a rambling one.

There was a point somewhere. I am excited for what's to come, but uneasy. Not out of fear that anyone will like it or content brained thinking like that. More like...a reverence for this magical thing I've found. Storytelling is magical for me. And that's not me waxing poetic, I think there's something terrifying and beautiful about it. It is the thing I was made to do, and the actual experience of crafting a story like this isn't just fun. I'm removing chains from my soul.

If that ain't magic, I don't know what is.

Anywho, I need to sleep. If you read all that, thank you for putting up with my yapping. 💖

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Hello, and thank you for your blog and resources! I’m still reading through them, but I needed to ask you something.

I’m writing a story where the two main characters aren’t really the heroes of the story. They just happen to be the villain’s target, which is defeated by the true hero, and this hero almost doesn’t appear until the very end. My two little guys are only there to, basically, suffer.

How do you call that kind of “protagonist”, if they can really be called that at all? I thought they may be antagonists but reading your post about villan vs antagonist, they really aren’t. They’re just really unlucky to be caught up in the middle.

Thank you for your help!

Hi!

Thank you so much for asking this question. I'm so happy you asked. I'm glad you enjoy my blog. My goal is to provide resources for writers and help others on their writing journey.

I find your premise fascinating, and I would love to read it myself. I completely understand your confusion about your character's role. Personally, I have experienced that a few times in my writing projects.

Hopefully, this short blog post can help you understand a bit more about your characters and their roles.

Defining your character's role

When we discuss the role of characters in storytelling, it essentially involves labeling. The ability to define and assign these labels to your characters can sometimes be confusing. Storytelling roles are meant to provide a simple way to understand where your character fits and the actions they need to take in the story and the plot. However, there are instances where characters can't be easily categorized with just one word.

Storytelling thrives on complexity; it's not an easy thing to fit into one box, just like how you can't put a book into only one genre. You can't do the same thing for characters. Classically in storytelling, protagonists are often viewed as the "heroes" leading the story, plot or other side characters. But it sounds like your characters are in a different box.

First, let's brainstorm some unique ways to label your characters without relying on classic storytelling roles.

Protagonists in Distress

You might be confused and wondering why the word "protagonist" is used here. Well, your characters can still be considered protagonists even if they're not saving the day. "Heroes" and "protagonists" are different. Your two characters are the central figures of the story, whose struggles and experiences drive the plot forward. This means they are shaping the narrative from their own perspective, and if you ask me, that sounds pretty much like a protagonist.

Sympathetic Characters

These types of characters are not talked about enough; however, anyone who reads a story has encountered at least one of these in literature. They are the ones who tug at the audience's heartstrings, bringing the readers into your story in a sympathetic way. Even if they aren't out on a quest for glory, saving the day, or helping other characters, their suffering, struggles, and conflicts can easily illuminate the themes of our story or raise the stakes in a significant way.

Think of it this way: Let's imagine you have a favorite book. You obviously have the classic protagonist or "hero." They drive the plot forward, are in their perspective, and they're the first character mentioned in the synopsis of the book. However, you also have those side characters, perhaps your character's friends or allies. Their stories, personalities, and their role in the plot individually make you like the story even more.

a story isn't anything without characters, and a story with only a protagonist wouldn't be a story. Most times in literature, readers like side characters more than the main character.

Catalysts

Since you mentioned that the challenges your characters face set the stage for the true hero to emerge in the plot, they may actually be acting as catalysts for change, which is a very important role. Catalyst characters' experiences could kickstart another character's journey or emphasize the antagonist's cruelty/conflict.

Tips for Developing Their Roles

Now that I've pinpointed some roles that may relate to your characters, here are a few tips to help you flesh them out:

Backstory exploration: When creating characters, especially the ones that you are developing, it's important to delve into their histories. You need to be able to confidently state how they arrived at this pivotal moment and why they are the perfect characters for this role. A rich backstory can make their struggles feel more impactful and relatable, which are two elements that readers love in characters nowadays.

Emotional resonance: Focus on the characters' emotional journey, as this is key in creating a 'catalyst' type character. Their reactions to the unfolding events, and the special moment when the true hero makes a significant change to the story, can really connect with readers. Try exploring what they fear, hope for, and dream about. Adding depth to their circumstances can make your story even better.

Agency within Limits: Even if they find themselves in tough situations, I recommend you consider giving them moments of agency. Small decisions can really show their growth or resilience, even if they aren't the hero or undertaking heroic acts.

Relationship Dynamics: I will emphasize this because it's important. The bond between your main characters can add depth or moments of levity, which can really add another great, unique element to your story. The fact that you have two catalysts and a true hero already makes your story fascinating. However, building a relationship or friendship between them can serve as a bright spot amid all the chaos that goes on throughout your plot. This can showcase connection and hope which can balance the heavy themes in your story.

Thematic Focus: Every story needs a theme. That's why I recommend thinking about what the characters' suffering represents in the grander scheme of your narrative. Try brainstorming the perfect theme for your story. Is it a reflection on fate, the randomness of evil, or the nature of heroism? The themes surrounding their challenges can elevate their significance beyond mere plot devices and storytelling roles.

Your character may not fit neatly into the roles of "hero" or "villain," and that's completely fine! Please don't stress about emphasizing their complexity, and let their experience enrich your story. I hope this helps clarify their roles and sparks some inspiration as you keep writing! If you have any more questions or need any further guidance with anything at all, please don't hesitate to reach out to me!

Happy writing! - Rin T.

Before you go, why not join us at The Write Right Society? We're a supportive Tumblr community where writers lift each other up. Whether you're a newbie or a pro, we'd love to have you! Share your work, get feedback, and connect with fellow wordsmiths, writers and aspiring authors. 

[jq37]

FH Junior Year Post-Season Thoughts

With another season of Fantasy High in the books and my recaps all finished, I wanted to do an overview of my thoughts on the season as a whole. Even though I feel generally positive about my experience with the season, there are a few things I think maybe could have been done differently narratively or mechanically. This isn't to criticize the way the season went down or to backseat DM/Play. More my combined ten years of college for textual analysis and storytelling bleeding through, haha. 

I first want to start with the things I thought worked really well.

Fantasy High has "High" right in its title but, in past seasons (and especially Sophomore Year), not as much time as you'd think was spent actually at school and even if it was spent at school, there wasn't much time spent in class or engaging with the realities of being a student. This season really dug into the academic consequences of skipping your classes all the time and the realities of needing to do a ton of extra stuff to try for a scholarship and I think that was a refreshing thing to highlight for a change. Being more scared at flunking out than the dragon that's trying to eat you feels very emotionally resonant. Real "High School Is Killing Me" vibes for anyone who's a fan of NPMD. 

Even though Fantasy High is a show that has some deep emotional beats and strong character arcs, it's first and foremost a comedy show. From the jump, everyone was generating bit after bit that had me cracking up as usual. "Little girly dog collar" is one of the funniest combinations of words I can think of. I think it was Siobhan who said that this was the goofy season and, having seen it, I'd have to agree with her. It never failed to make me laugh and it was always a highlight of my week.  The cast just has great table chemistry that I love to watch no matter what they're doing. 

Watching some of these high level combat encounters is as close as I'll get to understanding people watching sports. Even though combat is generally my least fave part of D&D, I think the cast really killed it this season with how cleverly they played and Brennan came up with some really great combat encounters. Special shout outs to Baron's Game and The Last Stand for their unique mechanics.  

This is going to be one that's on the other list as well because my feelings are mixed, but I genuinely do like the downtime mechanic and how it forces hard choices. I think it's an interesting way to connect a mechanic to the story and cultivate stressful atmosphere for the season.

I have problems with the execution but I love the Rat Grinders in concept. I think as early as season 1 I was hoping that we'd meet a party that was like the Bizarro Bad Kids and the idea of a party that's farming XP instead of going on crazy adventures is a strong concept. Likewise, I think a character that's jealous because of your "cool" (read: tragic) backstory is also a fun trait for an unhinged antagonist in this kind of setting.

This is me absolutely showing my bias but I adored the Abernant Sisters content this season. I dunno if Siobhan specifically asked Brennan to not put her on a bus with the other beloved NPCs or what but I'm so glad she stuck around and we got the development we did. It was almost entirely ancillary to the plot but there was this clear pattern of Aelwyn getting softer and sweeter towards Adaine over the course of the season, from the guarded, "Enjoy the nemesis ward," to, full I love you's and, "I'd take them to get you." It was way more focus than I expected considering that Aelwyn completed the bulk of her arc last season and a lot of the time, a redemption arc basically ends after the big gesture (in this case, Aelwyn taking a magic blast for Adaine in Sophomore Year). So the fact that we got to see all of these sweet moments of them reestablishing their relationship outside of do or die moments was such a pleasant surprise. Again, I fully admit I am extremely biased, but this was my top wishlist item and the season overdelivered so there's a baseline happy I'm always gonna be with Junior Year. 

OK, so moving on to things I things I think could have been tweaked.

Even though I liked the downtime system and the pressures it created, it also squeezed out the chance for more casual PC to NPC interactions that would usually be more common because they were semi-locked behind the relationship track and there wasn't an obvious benefit to roll for Relationships (as opposed to something like Academics which was crucial for not flunking out). Making the mechanical benefit more clear would have helped that (even if it meant Brennan didn't get his reveal--which he ended up just telling them anyway so might as well do it early). The other thing is that the consequence of a rage token was so bad that of course they spent all season avoiding getting one. Things might have gone differently if the consequences had been a bit more obscured, like in Neverafter. And it could have been a nice parallel to the Rat Grinders to take this unknown resource that makes things easier for you but is also having this negative effect. Then it could be like dang we did the same thing they did unknowingly. 

I mentioned this in my recap but I'll talk about it again. It is a little confusing to me that we did the Ankarna subplot right after we did the very similar Cassandra subplot. It took up so much time this season which I don't think is an issue in and of itself, it's just that we literally just went through some extremely similar beats last season. Why double up on this same storyline when there's so much new ground to cover? Or if we're going to raise a god, why not make it a different kind of god? One theory I had early on was that the Rat Grinders were trying to raise their own god to one-up the Bad Kids but instead of raising a chill, misunderstood Cass type, they accidentally raised a god who was erased for a good reason and got in over their heads. 

It's fun for there to be connections between seasons but sometimes it's like, OK that's a *lot* of coincidences. Like the god who your rivals is trying to raise *happens* to be the wife of your cleric's god and also *happens* to be the god of the fiend trapped in your friend's mom's chest and that fiend *happens* to be the relative on your bard's dad's side which is *also* the reason she is randomly cursed? That's a LOT of red string connecting plot points. As unhinged as Kipperlilly is about coveting Riz's backstory if I saw that go down I'd be like you have *got* to be kidding me.  

The mystery elements didn't feel like they clicked as well as they did in other seasons. I think that's partially because Porter's plan was so convoluted (seriously, I made another post about how haphazard his plan was) and had all these moving parts and we didn't get clear answers for a lot of mechanical things like how the rage crystals actually work and when they were implanted and stuff. You had stuff like Devil's Honey which I think is super cool as a thing that exists in the world but ended up being an element that just led the players down the wrong path and had a relatively small payoff (that Porter was using it to lie to Ankarna). I think it's plausible that a forgotten god would be willing to listen to anyone saying the right things without introducing this element. (As opposed to, for instance, Ambrosia which has a very clear connection to what's going on and is a solid clue that someone is flirting with aspirations of godhood.) 

The Porter reveal came so late in the season that even though it was a fun/challenging fight, there wasn't a lot of emotional weight behind killing him. It was basically just dunking on a teacher Fig has always hated who was also mean to Gorgug so screw him. Which, valid of course. But the Bad Kids were never going to react as strongly to Porter as they were to the Rat Grinders so putting Porter in the prime villain spot isn't necessarily what I would have done if I wanted the fight to be more than just a brawl--especially since we've done "School admin with student minions" already in S1. I don't mind the full circle callback but it would have been nice to pick something else for the sake of variety. We haven't had a child mastermind yet and I think Kipperlilly could have been a great candidate for that. My friend suggested that it would have been fun if Kipperlilly was trying to become a god instead of just being Porter's underling and I agree. "I'm not anyone's chosen one so I'll choose myself," is still within her established jealousy and Type A tendencies. If we want to keep Porter involved since that was Brennan's gift to Emily, maybe have it be that instead of Kipperlilly working for him, he's working for her. Like Artemis Fowl vibes! And the Rat Grinders can be varying levels of on board--from true believe to redeemable. I don't think Brennan planned for the Bad Kids to ever redeem her so might as well go full megalomaniacal mastermind with her and make her The Villain if she's not gonna be nuanced anyway. If My Little Pony can do it and send a literal child to Tartarus for pony treason (or whatever Cozy Glow did), Fantasy High can too. 

Continuing from the above, if we have the Porter fight in place of the Grix fight (a la Daybreak) and don't use Ankarna, that gives way more time for the Bad Kids to investigate the Rat Grinders throughout the season and it would mean that they would have their personalities developed a lot more. With the limited downtime, they Bad Kids didn't have a lot of time to spend on these kids who were just hating on them for no good reason (valid). But if you cleared their plate of the god hunt stuff, they'd have more time for this. And if they weren't all rage zombies to varying degrees, it would be easier to see them as characters. Besides Kipperlilly (and, funnily enough, Mary Ann) we don't really have a good read on what these kids are actually like. The little time we spent with them all season was kind of a wash if them breaking out of rage means their personalities got laundered too. Anyway, regardless of how their loyalties ended up shaking out, it would have been fun for them to be more than the minions that they were in canon. As funny as it is for them to just kinda be XP farming losers, they did have the potential to be more interesting in their own right if they weren't just Porter's minions. And again, we've done adults forcing or coercing children into being minions in Freshman and Sophomore Year already. Lemme see some self-created child maniacs! (Or, peer pressured child maniacs. That's cool too. The Lucy/Kipperlilly dynamic is way more interesting to me if it's like girl, I would take a bullet for you but I CANNOT walk this path with you any further in response to *I* will be a god and you can be *MY* champion.)

Anyway, those are my thoughts! Like I said, I have my points that I think could have been tightened, but overall an enjoyable season and I will be glued to my screen if they decide to close out with Senior Year! 

[fanthirtheen]

I've seen people mention Verosika's song in the background "Don't touch the pretty thing" right when Blitz is about to touch Stolas and chickens out (I noticed that immediately! Watching the first time! I loved it!) But there is so much background stuff for framing in this episode, I haven't seen any posts mentioning anything else.

I'm just going to do another obvious one from the exact same scene because it is my other favorite (so fucking heavy handed)

The cupid's heart between them. Especially in this shot. I will never bot be confident they are still in love with each other and will reconcile Stolas still loves Blitz but he's drunk and needs space and he's been begging Blitz to go away/give him space all episode and the first step for them is Blitz fucking listening and giving him space.

What I want most out of this show (as an author, as an appreciatior of plot and character development) is for Stolas to experiment and experience the world outside of Stella and Blitz (two ends of the spectrum for him, one whose relationship was horrible for him and one whom he truly loves and is absolutely end game for him, he needs the middle) and HAVE FRIENDS I am completely neutral toward Vassago at the moment I don't know anything about the guy but I really really don't want them to be romantically involved because I want Stolas to have friends so so so badly.

Also, from a story telling perspective, I also really really want them to not get back together at the very last second. This show does so amazing at showing relationships in ways other shows are honestly too cowardly to do. Messy, clean, loving, etc. I once saw a post on here complaining that Ozzie and Fizz are boring/leaving the show because they're in a healthy loving relationship and I eas so upset because that's good! We can have that depicted in a show and it be a wonderful addition! Not everything needs to be angst and drama and will-they-wont-they! You can have plot-driving conflict and drama with a healthy loving couple too!

But back to Stolitz, this show is so unapologetically gay that they have 0 reason to do the dumb "they can only getting ogether at the very end of the show because we don't want to depict a loving gay relationship" thing other shows do. And yes, they're end game, they will be together by the end, but from a storytelling perspective, I really want to see them work it out and be casual for a while before the end. That's something we don't get in other shows, and as much as this show does things others don't, I want that too. Romance is not the end-all-be-all, it is something these tow need, but it doesn't need to be the end-fulfillment of the show. Yes, the show is kind of about them, but it isn't JUST about them, and I want to see them table the other conflicts driving the show onward together.

Despite what other people on here say, the writers are not cowards. I genuinely have faith they can follow through on all the background imagery and foreshadowing and shit they put in for these two. With as much emphasis has been on Stolitz in season 2, and with the fact we know there will be more seasons after, I would love the majority of this Stolitz angst to be resolved so we can see a new arc for the next season. Not completely resolved, maybe, because again, this show does great at showing more realistic relationship dynamics and only in a cartoon could you unpack all their trauma and bullshit and resolve it in 3 more episodes.

I'm just so excited still and I am procrastinating working on my Childhood Friends third installment. I'm at the Hard Part of the first chapter and was rewatching Apology Tour for 100% completely related reasons.

[limbus-limousine]

Keep saying this but I loooove how relationships are talked about and portrayed in Demian (1919). Like. To an insane degree that I can barely put into words. It bothers me how overlooked it is sometimes? People always have a tendency to shove fictional relationships into very cramped, defined little boxes and then fight over the plastic label.

The way relationships are seen in Demian is one of the main reasons why I hold this book so close to my heart, because it was the first time I saw my thoughts put into words that I could analyze and study. That and the whole premise of how growing up in a religiously oppressive environment disguised with love and purity will inevitably affect how you process your feelings toward others... Makes me relate to Sinclair a lot. And it feels like a gross oversimplification to restrict his feelings as platonic or romantic.

I've talked about how I see Demian and Eva as extremely related entities before, how they are essentially the same. But I think their distinction as physical characters is very useful for the storytelling and symbolism. As I see it, Demian (the book) is all about love. It's not just about finding love in someone else but also finding love in yourself, in what you do and where you are in your life. This might be more of a personal interpretation, but to me, Eva represents a very, very specific feeling, in a way it's a culmination, a point where you finally stop to think and say to yourself "maybe I am okay. This is what okay feels like to me". Freudian influence aside... The motherly themes hit me really hard for this very reason:

When I read how Sinclair slowly fell out with his family, it spoke of a very specific experience. A very specific realization. "This deal isn't that of a bad friendship or acquaintance. I won't have a second chance. Simply because of how I was born, where I was born, there are human experiences that I'll never be able to know, and I am powerless to change that", you cannot choose your family, your mother, right? It's what you get, and you see around you what could've been but never was, and it makes you feel weak.

That's why Frau Eva is such an important figure. Because that is when Sinclair finds his family again, in a way. Why should blood matter so much? Sure, there's a biological connection, it's also been studied that romantic relationships reach their "high" during their earlier days due to hormones and neurotransmitters, right, "love at first sight", but those will eventually cease production as all does. It is your choice to nurture that relationship and to cherish it, to keep and to care for it. Blood does not matter, home is a person and it's right next to me, right now. I think that is what Frau Eva is, as a whole. And allowing that feeling to coexist with the platonic and the romantic is very important as I see it. One of the main problems of this motherly dynamic is the power difference, what makes Sinclair struggle in his childhood is the constant sensation of being watched, of being subjected to severe judgement. Frau Eva is supposed to remove that factor, she listens and she welcomes any thought or idea, there isn't fear of rejection or punishment, that's what makes it feel "like home". That was, kind of, the last step to reach the fulfillment Sinclair needed. I see Eva as the "destination" of this whole thing.

And Demian, he is the journey. One of the biggest mistakes one can make is to dismiss the process and work that goes into an achievement, because it is important. There is no Eva without Demian, they are intrinsic by nature. And journey is something that never leaves you. Even when Sinclair reaches his destination, he never stops caring about Demian. He visits Eva and he visits Demian, even if he has to walk through horrible weather, he speaks of his dreams to them, and he sits at the table and eats with them. Because during your journey you gain so many things you never expected, and at the end of the road, they become part of your fulfillment and needs as much as the main achievement is.

What Sinclair obtains from Demian and Eva, and everything in between them, is a unique relationship, deeply fulfilling, trusting, reassuring, a place where you know you can come to, even when you're at your lowest. Eva capitalizes on the genuine care, nurturing qualities, but Demian, too is a mentor, although I find falconer to be a better comparison. He helps the sparrowhawk grow its clipped wings, but in turn, he shall not stop it from flying, only the bird itself can choose to return the falconer's affections. But at the end of the day, all the falconer wishes for is to see him take flight. Sinclair obtains everything: friendship, camaraderie, acceptance, relief of a deep rooted guilt, no judgement for his human desires, the care and trust he lost from his mother, and something to look forward to after waking up in the mornings.

At the end of the book, Sinclair is separated from both of them, as I've said, they are intrinsic. But of course, they don't fully leave. As I see it, the kiss being from Eva means that your achievement is and will always be a sweet thought. Something you hold dear, that you can think of to comfort yourself. But Demian is there to deliver it and to fix Sinclair's wounds because journey is experience. It is what strengthens you and gives you the tools to face future endeavors. And it feels safe... You are finally safe within yourself.

But what about the scary factor, though? Because that is present too in both Demian and Eva (which I happen to really enjoy, as well). As always, I think it's a balance. It's good to know fear, it's a human emotion like any other. But the fear that radiates from them is more... Animal-like. The fear Sinclair once felt was a deep rooted terror that was born from something divine. You're being watched. You're being judged. You're wrong. You're a sinner. That's scary. Because it's telling you that the danger comes from yourself. When you see a beast staring into you, you don't feel self conscious, you don't feel repulsed, you feel the most natural shape that fear has. Beautiful things are scary. A snake can be scary. The stars can be scary. But it's not their fault, and it's not your fault either, it's just how it's meant to be. Because all feelings —love, anger, fear, sadness— and more, they are all important, they are all natural. But natural feelings can be beautiful. Artificial feelings make you fear something you've never witnessed, they make your stomach churn at the thought of yourself and they make you cry for something you haven't done. And most people around you live holding onto relationships that are, fundamentally, held by artificial feelings.

That is... Most of what I interpret from this book. And, god. It feels more like the book read me and not the other way around. I think I've truly found a bigger respite in art thanks to this novel. I have wanted to see the same beauty in the naturally grotesque... Learn about myself until rotting, flesh, maggots become just as beautiful and full of meaning as spring rivers and flowering plains, and for anger and fear to turn into something I can love and cherish like I do my inner child. Although they, too, have surely grown up.

That's it. I wanna play toysssss

[skyfallscotland]

Writing Advice: tips, tricks & helpful links, from your friendly neighbourhood fanfic author ✨ (part one—the advice)

see part two—the resources here

I've mentioned this before, but I truly believe no one's born a great writer. A great storyteller, yes. A great writer? That's learned. I've been reading and writing basically as long as I can remember. Learning to write is like...learning through both practice and symbiosis. In saying that, I get asked about this a lot, so here's what I do and some things that might help you.

Write what you're inspired to write, when you're inspired to write it.

So you have an idea—great! Are you a plotter or a pantser? Some people like to start with an outline, others just jot down a few notes and let the keyboard take them where it will. I'm in the latter camp, generally. For me, the best way to avoid writer's block is to write what I'm inspired to write, when I want to write it. Sometimes I'll write five chapters of a story at once, others I'll switch between a multi-chapter and a one-shot.

What's most important for me, personally, is that I don't try and force anything. If you suffer from demand avoidance, the worst thing you could possibly do (in my opinion), is set arbitrary goals. You don't need to write 500 words a day. If you want to, great! If that helps you, also great, but in my experience, that will generally just make my brain say well no, now we're not writing anything for a whole week, maybe a month, if you test me.

I also personally like to have a whole fic written before I start posting it online, or at least most of it written. I like being quite far ahead of what readers are seeing because I am a pantser. It takes the pressure off and honestly, there'd be so many plot holes if I didn't. Which brings me to...

First make it exist, then make it make sense, after that make it good.

What you see me post is not my first run-through. It's not even the second. I've written, read over, and changed things at least a handful of times before ever posting it, especially when it's a multi-chapter work. Sometimes I'll write a scene I love and then realise it just doesn't flow well, because three chapters back I had someone say a certain thing. In that instance, I'll put the scene aside.

Note that I said 'put aside' not 'delete'. I never delete them until I'm finished with a fic and I'm certain I won't need them, ever. Been there, made that mistake for you! Having a separate document with just various scenes you can insert at a later date also helps you to feel like it's ok to write what you want to write when you want to write it. I'll be honest, I jump around a lot. Sometimes I'll be inspired to write a scene I know isn't coming for another five chapters, but in my opinion it's best to just write it because when I get there five chapters down the line, I might not have the inspiration or I might have forgotten how I wanted things to go. Write what your brain wants to, fill in the blanks later!

Write from the heart.

My most popular work is the one I find the easiest to write and I almost never wrote it at all. Isn't that ridiculous? I almost never wrote it because I know it's cliché and excessive, and honestly...looked down upon. I almost didn't write it because of other people's opinions; then I said fuck it, I want to read it so surely there's someone else out there that does, too? Turns out there were thousands of you. Who knew?

But that work has really resonated with so many people and I think that's because I've poured so much of myself, my pain, my own experiences into it, into her. For that reason, I'd tell anyone starting out to try original character fic if that's what they want to do. Fuck the haters. All their favourite works were original characters once too.

Don't read similar fic while you're writing yours...unless you need to.

Let me explain. If I'm writing a certain type of alternate universe, or a certain storyline I know someone else has written, I won't read theirs until I'm done if I can help it, especially not if I'm actively writing my take on it. This isn't a hard and fast rule, it's obviously up to you what you feel comfortable with, but I would never want to have someone else's work influence my own too much, or get our ideas confused in my head, you know?

An exception to this rule, for me personally, is if I'm stuck with specific things in particular, like smut. When I wrote my first smut piece from a male POV, I was struck by the fact that I had no idea what an orgasm felt like for them, or how to describe it, because despite reading M/M fic for years, I apparently never absorbed that particular verbiage, so I went looking and read a whole bunch of smut from the male POV just to get an idea. Which leads into...

So you suck at kung-fu fighting.

Action scenes. I'm convinced we all hate them just as much as each other. I hate them so much I've changed whole plotlines from canon just so I don't have to include them. Unfortunately, my main fandom features a bunch of knife-throwing, sword-wielding, dragon riders at a war college who spar for clout, so I mean...it's unavoidable.

I still suck at writing it though, so what I now do for sparring and other hand-to-hand combat is search up youtube for sparring videos or self-defence lessons. It's much easier to describe what you're seeing than to imagine the mechanics and positioning of an artform you've never performed. The kung-fu thing was a joke, I like capoeira personally.

Stop being so damn hard on yourself.

Listen, everyone wants to be better than they are when they start out, literally everyone. I know I sure did. That's normal. Accept that it's normal before you start because the thing is, no one's a harsher critic on you, than you are and you'll always want to be better. There's a quote from Ira Glass that I'll paraphrase:

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap[...]It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit."

It's very true. Hopefully you have the support of a really welcoming fandom to reassure you that actually, you're nowhere near as bad as you think you are.

READ. BOOKS.

@justallihere says you can’t be good at something you don’t know anything about and it's so true, I've phrased it before as learning by symbiosis, when you read more, you'll internalise more. You're subconsciously learning how story structure works—plot hooks, transitions, metaphors and similie, grammar, style and punctuation.

Show don't tell.

...yeah this one I haven't mastered, I could use some help with that myself if anyone's got any words of wisdom, thanks.

Take all of this with a grain of salt.

I couldn't tell you how many writer's advice threads and blogs and whatever-else I've read over the years—too many, for sure. What I can tell you is 80% of what I've read was crap. It doesn't apply to me at best and it's unhelpful at worst. Maybe it's the neurodivergence, maybe it's just the fact that everyone's different and all you can do is give things a try, but based on that I can say with certainty that not all of this will work for you and that's absolutely fine! But I hope at least a few things do 😌

For links to more specific resources including thesauruses, generators, and other writers' advice, click here.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 4/23/22

three months unemployed YAY. also wherein i get SUPER pressed about star wars lore

listening

funeral by tele novella. popped open tiktok to see something my best friend sent me and this was there, the first thing on the for you page. let's yoink a description of their previous album from an interview i'm going to quote at length in a bit: "The result was “exactly what we wanted it to be,” a perfumed mist of jingling, jangling, lilting, off-center pop—a strange little snowglobe gathering dust at the back of the shelf."

the lyrics did hit me like a train bc i often find myself mourning places and situations that were not necessarily good for me but were familiar.

Oh, you're not tied up Here comes the train The tracks feel safe because you know 'em

if you had told me this was made in about 2007-2009ish i would have believed you. very spare production in the way folksier songs of the time were spare. a bit raspy and direct in her delivery. there's a bandcamp interview wherein i found out this is the side project of a vintage/antiques dealer and she has a fascinating perspective on her own music:

Her passion for the craft is evident—in our conversation as much as in listening to the band—but music, for her, is a means to an end, a way to transmit stories. “As a musician, I’m mediocre at best,” Ribbons says matter-of-factly. “I think that my talent lies in my storytelling ability. I think that I’m a good storyteller.” It’s something instilled in her by her grandparents, “voracious readers” who were always buying her books and secretly wanted Ribbons to be a writer, she suspects.

i really adored this whole album as a cohesive work. "vampire cowgirl" is another standout for obvious reasons.

You came barrelin' down Rabid with some talk Of a gal who rides at night Picking off the stock

remarkably good at reproducing the general vibe of the midcentury cowboy western album, when tv cowboys were sweeping the nation

-

reading

T. Kingfisher's Nettle & Bone. enjoyed it, but not quite as much as her other stuff. whereas her other series are almost always comical and often stray into farce, this one was a bit grim. even with the addition of a demonic chicken. had to stop and really think about if my own experience with funerals and funerary rites (too many, too often) was coloring this for me but i think it is simply not as funny or interested in being funny as her other works. not a ding against it, but not what i was really expecting or in the mood for. image from tor, let's yoink the description from macmillan

This isn't the kind of fairy tale where the princess marries a prince. It's the one where she kills him. Marra — a shy, convent-raised, third-born daughter — is relieved not to be married off for the sake of her parents’ throne. Her older sister wasn’t so fortunate though, and her royal husband is as abusive as he is powerful. From the safety of the convent, Marra wonders who will come to her sister’s rescue and put a stop to this. But after years of watching their families and kingdoms pretend all is well, Marra realizes if any hero is coming, it will have to be Marra herself. If Marra can complete three impossible tasks, a witch will grant her the tools she needs. But, as is the way in stories of princes and the impossible, these tasks are only the beginning of Marra’s strange and enchanting journey to save her sister and topple a throne.

paywalled article, sorry, but i personally have a bone to pick with fanduel due to [REDACTED INCIDENTS] from [PREVIOUS JOB] so it does not surprise me in the slightest that they don't really seem to be doing a single fucking thing about money-laundering. allegedly.

-

watching

the bad batch, or the 13/16 episodes of the third and final season that are out. all these images are from comicbookreview bc i watched this on my actual television

one of the plots i hate most is the trying to get someone back plot. for example, i think finding nemo does this really well bc it's also a coming of age/parenting movie. i do not think the second finding nemo movie does this well bc as soon as one person is reunited with the group, through a wacky series of coincidences they lose another member. plus that movie is part of the downturn of modern pixar where they forgot how to tell interesting stories but that's neither here nor there. the bad batch falls into the finding nemo 2 category. it's simply frustrating to watch. it turns into a desperate floundering after whoever happens to be missing instead of using a The Searchers style plot to say something about the act of the search itself. i realize i am once again saying "what if star wars was good" but like. come on.

the bad batch s3 is surprisingly focused on retroactively filling in the backstory of how and why palpatine got cloned with his force powers intact, which is apparently a difficult technical problem. i would have cared about this if this show came out before the last movie and we had a cool breadcrumb style approach leading up to the movie. unfortunately that movie (and the sequel trilogy more broadly) killed a lot of my interest in modern star wars. anyway, this cloning problem leads to a lot of very technical conversations in a children's' show that are interesting to me, a grownup, bc no star wars media has ever successfully explained 1) what midichlorians actually are and 2) the biological processes by which they operate but refuse to be cloned? which is extremely funny to me bc midicholrians aren't supposed to be real. qui-gon has that whole little speech and blood test in the phantom menace but the series had So scrupulously stayed away from explaining how the force works before that. they still fail to explain it but they at least attempt to break two inches of new ground. side note this show gives us TWO canon trans girl clones and i really wish they were in a better show.

it's annoying that i'm annoyed about a children's show meant to sell toys. some fun things: the pyke syndicate shows up, a slew of my favorite bounty hunters show up, this show is much better at painterly backgrounds and has an overall more concept-art feel than the clone wars proper or rebels. i think it would be cool if they stopped whitewashing the clones. i'm going to finish out the season but i don't exactly have a lot going on in my life right now. i am not terribly sad that this is the final season but BOY do they have a lot of loose ends to wrap up in three episodes.

-

playing

new genshin update on uhhh thursday and it's kind of exciting bc i THINK it will finally fill in this hole on the map and the associated shorelines of three different countries!

i thought i had long since found all the chests in liyue (the second area released) but in the process of doing a recently released character quest set in liyue i found another chest. this game is very good at hidden objectives and little secrets but i wish it was better at letting you know when you have Actually cleared an area completely of all the little hidden stuff. anyway i have been holding back the last character hangout (ningguang, my best beloved ruthless girlboss business high femme) for a terrible day and that day came! unfortunately hanging out with the fake pretend video game lesbian did make me feel better!

also unfortunately i fucked up and cannot count so the gacha pity system (every 90 pulls you're guaranteed a 5-star character) gave me Neuvillette. who i don't hate but i wasn't really planning on pulling for. i do like his questline and his voice actor, he simply doesn't fit in super well with a mono-electro team bc i play this game like an insane woman.

the real bitch of the thing keeping me from upgrading him is going out in the overworld and collecting enough sea stars. why can't he need flowers or little gears or anything else i have a thousand of.

anyway this gal will be dropping sometime in the next six weeks and i AM extremely excited to pull for her. she has some cool abilities (GUN) and is part of a popular pair with the steampunk lolita character i love and leads my other main team. i hope their abilities play well off each other but she has such a cool storyline and design i don't super care if she fits in with my playstyle. i will adapt for her in a way i am not willing to do with neuvilette

-

making

i am once again obsessed with gallery walls, bc a friend has asked me to find the correct gigantic size frames to put some comics on his wall, and that has given me an excuse to go to thrift stores again.

unfortunately i have mostly found frames for me, and the projects i have been working on have kind of a long tail of when they will actually be on my walls. i picked up four 16x20 frames for $2.50 each (solid wood! remarkably detailed!) bc i eventually want to put up these fallout maps in the style of national parks maps up on the map wall in my office. i suppose this means i should join @ruffledringdove and actually play '76, bc that's the one modern game i haven't played. these are getting scuff sanded with 120 and painted with a eggshell paint sample in a bright white u all know the drill at this point. ive painted a lot of frames in the past few weeks.

left is one of the painted 16x20 map frames, right i have also finally sanded and painted both 12x16 deckle-edged wood frames i picked up off the side of the road in MA. and found glass + backs for them! eventually i will procure fancy mats and print + frame my grandmothers' portraits. they will eventually go on the living room wall, which is a neutrals and blue-greens wall of slightly disdainful women. this will help me swap the three maps in there to the office map wall.

i have also acquired this gigantic plaster-over-wood mirror for $15. i am using leftover rub n buff bc i don't have a great spot to spraypaint here without sheeting my entire front porch, and rub n buff is way less susceptible to 80% humidity than spray paint. also i would have to buy spray paint. i am looking up suspiciously bc i thought there was a bug. not sure what mackie was looking at.

[doomsdaydicecascader]

In that case, then, the "death as a good ending because you're no longer in HS" is essentially a big lampshade hung on the nature of fiction itself? I can't help but feel like that has to tie into something less thematically self-referential, but I admit sometimes the comic gets really into its own narrative sandbox and that goes a little over my head. Thank you for the response though, and have a good weekend!

yeah! like, i think a lot of the purpose of homestuck is just to be self-referential. and i think hussie agrees! take this formspring answer for example:

So what is the idea? I don't feel like elaborating on it THAT much now, because I would probably type forever. Basically, it's about building an extremely dense interior vocabulary to tell a story with, and continue to build and expand that vocabulary by revisiting its components often, combining them, extending them and so on. A vocabulary can be (and usually is) simple, consisting of single words, but in this case it extends to entire sentences and paragraph structures and visual forms and even entire scenes like the one linked above. Sometimes the purpose for reiteration is clear, and sometimes there really is no purpose other than to hit a familiar note, and for me that's all that needs to happen for it to be worthwhile. Triggering recognition is a powerful tool for a storyteller to use. Recognition is a powerful experience for a reader. It promotes alertness, at the very least. And in a lot of cases here, I think it promotes levity (humor! this is mostly a work of comedy, remember.) Controlling a reader's recognition faculty is one way to manipulate the reader's reactions as desired to advance the creative agenda. In this case I'm not exactly sure what that agenda is all the time, and in truth there probably isn't any serious agenda there. This story, though at times seeming diabolically put together, is still pretty light reading after all. if anything I'm just striving for a certain pitch in density with the all the multithreaded symbolism and endless internal reference. Think of it as a symphony and everything I've referred to as belonging to a vocabulary are really just notes, working together in a really complicated harmonic structure.

this is a thing stories already do, building a vocabulary out of plot beats and callbacks, characters facts and themes, i've described storytelling before as "like building a pyramid and then slowly, piece by piece, taking it apart" - it's sometimes used derogatorily, like when a callback is a little bit too obvious, to be an obvious callback in the third act (see: crazy ball in psycho goreman, the thing that sparked this line of thought originally)

but homestuck takes this idea really, really far, in that it will actively redefine what these beats mean solely for the joy of doing so, and so you can only really trust what a story beat means in the context of what it means in homestuck. i think its really cool. the only thing ive ever seen that does something similar is petscop, it's a very cool thing to do that i dont think a lot of people really catch on to, and it can create something that lasts even if people dont understand why it works the way it does

[hpowellsmith]

Do you think a degree is a good place to start to get into the narrative designer scene? I don't have any sort of degrees and whenever I look at job postings it kind of intimidates me.

You don't necessarily need a game design degree. There isn't a single route into getting a narrative design job and most of the narrative people I've worked with have academic experience in other areas. Classics, publishing, linguistics, screenwriting (and other kinds of writing), film, literature, teaching, computer science, biomedical science, history, and philosophy are all things that come to mind off the top of my head. I personally have an English Literature bachelor's degree and a postgrad teaching certificate.

I do know a few narrative people with game design degrees and they speak highly of that experience - but it isn't essential and there's some ambivalence in the field of games about how much value you get from it. It would really depend on where you were attending and who was teaching it, and so on. Do research the lecturers and their industry experience before signing up to anything!

A lot of narrative jobs will require some sort of degree. Not all! But many will explicitly. Then, more trickily, there's the implicitness of it all: it's rare that I've encountered a narrative person at a studio who doesn't have a degree, and among many other things that's a marker of the lack of class diversity in the field.

That said: a degree is unlikely to directly help you get a narrative job unless it's very specific (eg you're an expert in the Franklin expedition, and the game is about trying to rescue the ships). It will more give you transferable skills. My PGCE helped me learn to deliver presentations and pitches. My English degree helped me discuss art. My PGCE taught me about being rigorous about developing skills and assessing where I'm at and taking feedback. My English degree pushed me to read widely. But none of that fed directly into getting a job in games - when I graduated from my undergrad degree I didn't know how games jobs worked anyway and neither did my career advisors.

Whether or not you have a degree, you need to have examples of your skills and how you've applied them to your work. If you've had jobs in other areas, you can refer to that - you're great at spotting data entry errors? fantastic. you can meditate an argument between a group of crying five year olds? great. And most of all you need completed examples of your writing and your games work for your portfolio. It doesn't have to be massive ambitious projects, but you need to prove that you know how games fit together, what makes them feel good or not good to play, and can apply it to your own work.

Make interactive fiction. Make a small game, or a bigger game, in bitsy. Join a game jam and work with other people on something - that will give you something to talk about in interviews, and teach you about working with other people on a creative project. Finish things! Not only will that give you more to discuss, it will also mean that you have a better sense of the bigger picture of interactive storytelling. I got my first studio job off the back of years of short hobby IF and a completed CoG game; I brought skills from my studies but I wouldn't have got a foot in the door without those projects to show that I could write well, understood narrative design, and could finish games.

Some unsolicited advice:

Be cautious about expensive game writing courses. They can be valuable for networking and pushing your to be rigorous about your work, or they can be a money sink. Remember that in 99% of "dream studios" there will be people working there for whom it's a nightmare. Don't put people on pedestals and remember that studio games are a team effort - but also respect and celebrate your own contributions. Don't dunk on games in public: I've seen a lot of people do that and then turn around and ask for a job from the people they were dunking on. It doesn't make people inclined to say yes. Don't neglect your peers in favour of trying to get in with a crowd that's already established; but if trusted people offer mentorship (such as Limit Break in the UK) go for it. When you are one of those established people, don't pull up the ladder behind you.

Here is a doc of resources from Raymond Vermeulen and another from Adanna aka AFNarratives. Also there are a ton of free talks available from AdventureX, Narrascope, Writer's Guild of Great Britain, and the GDC Vault about narrative which are both interesting and useful.

None of this is any guarantee of anything, there are a lot of people competing for not many jobs and if you find someone selling One Weird Trick to get into the field of narrative design, avoid them. I've seen talented people with a lot of experience struggling to find another contract after one has ended. So I don't want to act like I have it all figured out - but I hope it's helpful.

[samssims]

Hi Sam! I was wondering if I could ask for some advice on how to make simblr fun again? I love storytelling (it's how I have fun with the game) but lately with writing posts and even in game, I just find myself stressing over if it's good/interesting enough or if I took good screenshots, if my writing is good, etc. I love this game and sharing my stories with this community, so it sucks to feel like this. Thank you sm ♥

Oh Nonny, how I feel this pain. I wish I had a sure fire answer to this but sadly there isn't just one thing that will work.

I will put some advice below for some things that have worked for me in my experience if you're interested in trying them out to try to find that spark again!

Now I have been on tumblr sharing my sims since 2013 so I have seen the community change a lot. Things change, people come and go, it's just the natural way of things. So a lot of the time your community can change around you and so a few years ago sims storytelling was really popular and it was the thing everyone was doing. And I mean everyone.

But now things have sort of fallen off or shifted and there is no shame in that for those who moved onto other things and hobbies. Sims storytelling, at it's core, is a hobby. No one is making money off of it (unless you write it all down and get it published in which case, hell yeah go you!)

That being said, finding your spark again is going to be finding what YOU like about storytelling in the sims.

So here are some tips you can try out in the game to keep it fresh and exciting:

Play the Game

The game has changed a lot and added a lot. It came out in 2014. It's about to be 10 years old. With expansions still being added. Honestly having a family where you can just play through what the game offers you can offer inspiration on how to use in game things for story related things later on.

I have found having a lowkey gameplay (for yourself or even for your blog if you are posting) is an easy way to stay active in the community while keeping things low stakes and casual for yourself while you work on finding your spark again.

Change Up your Post Style

Idk about you Nonny, but nothing gets me less motivated than having to edit photos. If I could just point, shoot, and post, I would have content coming out my ears. Which is what I started doing with my Princess Legacy. All I do is crop it. I add some things here and there but really it's all pretty much easy.

Now I have done it all.

Prose on photos.

Prose under photos:

Icons Only:

Gameplay Only:

And finally just cropped:

Now what is the best? That is personal preference especially for the project you are doing. However I have definitely discovered the crop method to be SUPER helpful.

It makes me not have to worry about the whole photo. Sometimes I have this SUPER awesome detail in the back of a photo but when I crop them I lose all that. Which is not good for storytelling lets be honest but does force me to focus on what is actually important in the shot.

Example: Here is the full cottage photo from above You can see that I cropped out a lot of the cottage in favor of being able to see the deer and swans as i thought that was more a cozy fairytale vibe than just the cottage itself. I lost a lot of this detail yet the point still came across.

TBH the paired crop photos also makes me cut out a lot of access photos if they don't have a pair. It's sort of made me realize how much I don't need to take screenshots of. Though I am definitely an overtaker of photos so I always have plenty to choose from. Sometimes I even queue them then look back and realize they aren't needed and delete. It's humbled me a bit.

I could break down every one of these posting styles but that's a whole other thing you didn't ask about.

TLDR of this section is to experiment with how you post. You can have a lot of fun with that.

If Something is Boring, Skip it.

Do you hate the infant stage? Age them past it. Do you hate the winter months in game? Set seasons to never have winter. Do you hate in game holidays ruining your plans? Delete them all from your calendar. Is it a crucial part to your story? Not anymore. Write around it. Or find some creative angles and dialogue to write over it.

Make the game fit you!

Follow the Inspo

Have inspiration to make a new sim in CAS? Do it! Want to make a whole new save? Have an idea for one scene that could start a whole story but you have nothing else for it? DO IT!!!

The game is supposed to be fun. If you have inspiration for a project, live in it. Have fun with it.

But Sam, what if only lasts 2 weeks and I never touch it again?

Me too, babes. Happens to me all the time. Own it. Keep it around in case you want to mess with it later. Have 10 million saves. It's your life and if it brings you a moment of joy to work on it, then it totally is worth it.

If you want to be like me: Be chaotic and post it too. Then private the posts later when you decide to never touch it again. Never delete tho. I always tend to regret deleted things.

Find Your Community

You should ultimately write and create for yourself, but find others who are doing it too! Lift them up as well! Use one day a week on your blog to give reblogs or shoutouts to your fellow creators and writers! It's all about lifting each other up and making friends who all have the same hobby as us.

Try New Challenges

A lot of my sims storytelling started from inspiration around legacy challenges. I loved to take challenge rules and figure out how to make a story around them. But remember: Rules are made to be broken. Especially in favor of a good story.

If you are working on a current challenge/story, find another to merge with it or to give yourself a heck of a fun plot twist. There are no rules!

Have Fun!

This is sort of the whole crux of it, right? And if you're not having fun then...

Take a Break

You are not beholden to your queue! Let it die out! Disappear for 6 months. Return when you want. Go play Animal Crossing or BG3 or whatever it is at the moment. Sims is a hobby. But it does not have to be your ONLY hobby. Let your brain rest.

In my case, whenever I leave the sims I am always filled with ideas and ready to come back in like 3 days.

This could also mean take a break from your save too. Maybe spend some time in CAS. Or in build mode. Or cleaning out your mods. You can still do sims things while letting your story brain rest.

TLDR:

There is no right answer for this, Nonny. I promise your photos are all gorgeous and your story is wonderful! But creativity like anything ebbs and flows so give yourself that grace to let yourself rest and just enjoy the game again, or enjoy time away from it! You deserve it you superstar creator!

[shhh-secret-time]

Hello!

Two questions:

One: where do you get your inspiration for writing?

Two: who's you're favorite south park character?

I love you! Drink some water!

Hi! Thank you for reminding me! Twizzlers and a Coors Light Beer is not dinner, but it is a good intro to this answer haha!

For the first question that's a tough one so I'm going to warn you all, BIG RANT AHEAD!

My biggest inspiration for the reader inserts are you guys. There's a reason in my ao3 I leave those kind words and words of affirmation after every story. I need every single person who reads my things to know that I care about you guys.

You read it all the time that story tellers, artists, and musicians are nothing without their audience. And it's absolutely true. I cannot stress enough that even though you know nothing about me, and I know nothing about you, doesn't mean I don't care.

I love people so very much. I think we as humans have the greatest gift this universe could have ever given us.

We have the compacity to love so much. With so many different ways to love!

It could be romantic, platonic, familial, whatever! We have it. That's so fucking awesome!

So if I can express that love and make you feel better, just a little bit, by writing these situations where you are loved. Then I'm going to do it.

As for the scenes and settings, I usually carry a outrageous, over-the-top, bright pink notebook around with me. It is so ugly and atrocious, but I remember it because of that. I write down thoughts I have throughout the day and things I see.

Aside from that, I take in the works of others. I let it show me a different way of thinking and perceiving situations I wouldn't have otherwise. There are artists on this website that absolutely blow me away and keep me humble. I've got much to learn, and I'm so excited to do it!

Music honestly it the biggest source of this. I have so many Playlist of moods for scenes and emotions I need to tap into. (That's another thing that makes humans so fucking awesome)

Like. As an artist you need to invoke a feeling using colors and shapes. If you ever stop to think about that, that's so amazing. A little circle shaped and molded to make you feel happy. Melancholy. At peace. Nostalgic.

Like holy fuck dude.

A storyteller does the same with words and moments like this.

I think a thing a lot of creators, including myself, tend to do that keeps their work from their absolute best. Is the fact that we want so badly to take the image we have in our head and the feelings in our hearts and put it in our work and hope you get that exact feeling!

But I think letting the person enjoying our work and coming to their own feelings and conclusions at times is what puts the spice in a really good dish!

For my Pomegranates and Honey story, that's what I'm trying to do. I have experiences and emotions that I know other people have felt, or they need help feeling. You know when you listen to a sad song so you can cry and feel a little better, I want to capture that but with the pains of growing up.

People are going to move on. There are some that are going to change and grow with or without you. It sucks, it hurts, but you have to accept it. Grow at your own pace, find something that works for you. Things that get you through this frustrating world.

For me it's writing. For me it's love.

So yeah, that's my inspiration. Veeeeery long winded answer, short.

As for my favorite character?

It's a tie between Stan and Kyle. Kyle because I love that little dude, I love what the Fandom has let him grow into. The fact that this community took these circles and went, "Yeah this is awesome."

Kyle has character traits that I admire in a human being. The will to just go. That temper of his is funny don't get me wrong, but I admire that so much. What I would give to just feel anger like that, to express my frustration so freely. He's caring to those around him, and he had a strong sense of morals. He isn't afraid to stand up when those morals are put into question. He's not afraid to defend those he loves, even if they may not always be in the right!

Stan is my favorite because everything about him I feel. That fear of not being good enough for anyone, so you try to pull the spotlight on you. Real talk, I used to be a very self-absorbed person growing up. I would actively deny ever wanting it, but if I ever found out my friends did something without me, I'd feel hurt. The need to be wanted so very badly is still there, but I'm better about it. Stan struggles with depression, we all know that. But the feeling of watching everyone you know move on while you're stuck in this fucking pit, and sometimes it feels like it's too much. Yeah I feel that. I love Stan because I want to see him get better, I wanna see me get better.

So, thank you so very much for these questions. I love, love, love things like this! Please feel free to ask more. It's never a bother!

[h-f-k]

Too long or?

my followers right now:

the reason i dislike the song so much it's because it wasn't needed. I understand it was an ongoing internal joke in the swiftie fandom and Taylor releasing it for red tv was fan service but as i said before she should've released it as a poem. The production of the song is horrible and so flat it made flat earthers believe the earth is round.

While it was cool to have more context the way it was given to us ruined the experience in my honest opinion. If you're gonna release the extended version of anything it better have a very good reason to exist, will improve the pace, the storytelling and the overall narrative of the og song/movie/anything? Especially with a song like all too well which is not only a fan favorite across every stage of swiftiesm (whether you're a veteran fan or a new tik tok fan) but also perfect as it is! The 10 minute version had so many stakes and so many expectations to meet and it failed so bad. With how safe taylor bets on some decisions for her music it blows my mind she really decided to extend a song everyone loves and puts it as THE masterpiece of her career, and i know she did it purely to make fans happy which is cute but it's the never ending cycle of making decisions based on what your fans will like and what the charts will look like instead of keeping the artistic value of your craft intact and sometimes that means deprive your fans of this thing they've been asking for years which sucks but it's for the best.

As i also said in my post we get to appreciate halsey's song even more now bc we have added context and we don't know how that sounds like, you can imagine it however you like and sometimes that is the beauty of reading the original draft/poem of a song. and also because again: it creates more stakes, you can't just repeat the same beat or base production (i'm not well versed on specific musical language lol so i apologize) over and over and change it a bit to break up the monotony, this isn't a random mashup you make for funsies in adobe audition at 2am.

the added lyrics are also... a bit wishiwashi in my opinion, there are extremely good and painful verses and then others that made me go (and i'm not joking) "oh my god girl, shut up" mid song.

and also, and i'm gonna make some fans angry with this take but whatever, i just dislike how you can see 30 year old taylor CLEARLY edited stuff. and i'm not talking about editing in a "let's make this song make a bit more sense bc maybe i didn't have the skills back when i was 20" type of way. i'm talking about knowingly adding stuff that you KNOW fans will talk about bc it's something that with time made it to the history books of the swiftie fandom. forced references if you will. like with the 1989 vault tracks... but that's a different discussion lmao.

anyway that's it lol

[gorbalsvampire]

On Building Characters

I generally hold two things in my mind when I'm putting a character together at the dots-on-sheets level. Neither is the "quick and dirty" work-your-way-around-the-sheet process in the Player's Guide, where you decide if you're a Specialist or a generalist or a Jack of All Trades and just put dots in skills. I think that's really helpful for explaining and introducing how character creation works, but it doesn't go all in on the build to the extent that I like.

I try to walk the line between having a tuned, capable character with healthy dice pools in things that will be useful (key Discipline powers and hunting rolls for their Predator Type as a priority, survivability pools like social awareness, difficulty to surprise, and at least one decent combat roll as secondary concerns), and having a concept that makes sense as someone who was a person before they were a vampire and isn't just dots in the optimal places.

To understand my approach it helps to be familiar with the Stormwind Fallacy - the claim that "good roleplaying" is antithetical to "optimising character". It's nonsense, as Tempest Stormwind elegantly proved. Roleplaying is entirely a soft skill: one can play a finely tuned and powerful character to the hilt and still make in-character decisions that have entertaining, dramatic, difficult consequences.

There is a tension between optimisation and verisimilitude, though: a character who's been built entirely to be a good vampire often doesn't feel "right" or "good" because they're artificial: they weren't engineered as someone who existed before their Embrace. That's what the full process in the V5 corebook - not the two page summary spread but the chapter that follows, the full method for building a character - strives to avoid. As ever, slow and close reading of the book reveals deep truths.

In particular, the full method encourages you to break your skills down into Professional (two at three dots, two at two dots, one with a Specialty, derived from what your character's "day job" was), Life Event (one at three dots, one at two, derived from the most important thing that happened to your character) and Hobby (three at one dot, representing things your character has dabbled in).

Then you pick either one Skill to really overspecialise in (four dots, and you can move your Specialty in here too) or six more to pick up (two at two dots, four at one), and this is where you pick the "good at being a vampire" stuff that your character has learned to do post-Embrace. These are the ones that I like to keep plastic, fantastic, and somewhat elastic, selecting them to make sure the hunting, combat and survival stuff is taken care of. If you want to focus on combat, you'll need to pick a profession package that leans into it, and give yourself a reason for that focus. I'm looking ahead towards the stuff I'll pick next: Predator Type, clan Disciplines, and Coterie Type, so I know what to leave space for in my Background spend and contribute to the group fund.

The other thing that's always circulating in my mind is Flaws. In my experience veteran players kind of miss the point of Flaws in V5, expecting them to be customisation options like they were in the older game. They're more... story signals. You're telling the Storyteller this is the problem you'd like your character to have, a thing that's going to come up often during play. That means, from a "keeping the game functional and playful" perspective, you need to put some thought into what kind of obstacles, challenges, difficulties, barriers you enjoy overcoming, or don't mind being thwarted by. It's easy to pick something that ends up backfiring on you.

For example: I am really touchy about loss of agency and control. I won't touch the Weak Willed Flaw with a goddamn barge pole, because being able to throw some dice in active resistance to Dominate or Presence is important to me. I need to feel like I had a chance, however long of a shot it was. Now, one of my OCs should have this Flaw, it fits with the character and her relationships with authority, but if I'm going to play her in a chronicle I as player am going to repeatedly encounter something that discourages me from playing. It crosses a line, and setting myself up to cross that line repeatedly in play is a surefire way to make the play not playful any more.

That's what this optimisation stuff comes down to, really. Making sure your character is fun to play - that you can get stuff done in the game, and that you don't have to keep on doing things that spoil the experience for you.

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 16

... is Derek really an incel? like, at the very least, shouldn't him being with Kristal prove that he isn't an incel? i have no qualms with Emily insulting Derek, but she should at least be accurate.

ooh, Emily going full villain mode? we stan :D

girl how would you possibly think this would work

so Ally has resorted to playing a fully emotional game, huh? you either get eliminated a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the Jake.

the music in this scene cracked me up. also, i think aleriya is (canonically) dead after this scene, if it hadn't already died beforehand. (i say canonically bc fans can do whatever they want)

d-does he still...? also, obligatory "just because Connor loves Riya doesn't mean she has any obligation to love him back, villain or not."

i really can't tell if this part of Ally's character arc is meant to be viewed as good or bad. like, the show is obviously telling us that Ally's overall trajectory is bad, and being needlessly cruel to other people for the sake of putting your own emotional wellbeing first could certainly be a part of that. but, there's also been a lot of commentary about how hard it is to be under the scrutiny of social media (likely from the crew's own experiences), so Ally learning to stand up for herself and what she needs could also be a form of wish fulfillment. hopefully it'll resolve as a multi-layered predicament in the end, but i'm just trying to figure out how Ally will respond to her edit in All Stars in either the finale or the Loser's Motel episode.

...can't you just wait, like, two more episodes to directly state the point of your character arc, essentially then concluding it? then i could be sure that you'd win.

HELP

lmao of course the nerd can't rock climb. he can carry 120 pounds on his back but he cannot ascend.

Connor is really fucking strong goddamn?

Ally really can't fight this, because this is the exact rationale that she was trying to use on Jake for their entire games.

i want to see people draw buff Grett in the style of the buff Natsuki meme from DDLC. but, also, go Grett!!!

the intense difficulty of a twelve piece jigsaw puzzle. Venus noted that it really sounded like Kristal was describing a slide puzzle, but I understand why that would've been really difficult to storyboard.

Connor you can't be this stupid (/j)

in-universe, i don't really understand how she beat Alec (he was really good at the block puzzle in s1 and it fits his vibes), but yay Grett! i knew she wasn't going home tonight anyway.

what else could it have possibly been, Ally? regardless, we're definitely setting up the pieces for Grett's downfall soon.

can you really count the TikTok challenge as a "Jake immunity win"? literally everyone except Gabby and Grett won immunity in that challenge.

for a moment, i really thought Connor was going to pull the Kim Possible "out there... in here..." thing.

so true Jake

this feels like a fanfic line

you know Jake's having flashbacks to his last final 6 experience.

well, while i certainly thought that it was Riya's time to go in terms of the cut, it does actually make more sense for Alec to go home here, no plot armor involved! (other than arguably the plot armor of not letting Alec win the challenge.) Alec is much more threatening in a final 3 situation because of his greater athleticism and intelligence as compared to Riya, and Grett is closer to Riya than Alec. it sucks to see one of my favorites go, but it's entirely logical.

Riya out here projecting ("little toy")

this was such a good moment. i especially love the storytelling without dialogue going on with Connor's reaction. anyways, if Riya wasn't going to win before, she's definitely not going to win now. you don't get hit with the "look at what a sorry state you're in" three episodes before the final and then snatch the W.

maybe you shouldn't have fired and humiliated your employees live on TV, then.

is this season going to end with Kristal resigning from the show? i thought that might happen to make way for Emily as the new host, but now that she's going more villainous, i don't think that'll be the cast anymore. maybe Derek and Trevor will take the show back over, as (I think) the more popular hosts in the fandom?

anyways. a solid episode! i think a good number of people saw the Connor idol play coming from a mile away, so it wasn't all that surprising that one of the major villains was going down. still, we had interesting strategy and some great character moments, especially for Connor. they're really making the best of his extended time in All Stars. and, hey, there are only two guys left, so maybe he'll make the finale! it doesn't really matter, though, because it's gonna be Jake. i'll keep riding the Jake winner train until he gets eliminated. not that i think that's going to happen ;)

see you next week!