#storyline10

[oktorpg]

Partners in Crime – Book 3 – Chapter 5 - Storyline 10 – Together - Part 1

〄 ꜱᴛᴏʀʏʟɪɴᴇ - 10

Partners in Crime

  ╰ˢᵗᵒʳʸ ᵇʸ: @LittleBirdRey & @ToldUIdSurvive

       ╰ ᵀⁱᵐᵉˡⁱⁿᵉ: ʙᴏᴏᴋ 3: ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴡᴀʏ ɪꜱ ᴜ

            ╰ ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ: 5 ᵒᶠ ᵃⁿ  @OsoKikThruOgeda ˢᵗᵒʳʸ

               ╰ᴸᵒᶜᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿ: ᴇʟɪɢɪᴜꜱ ɪᴠ

•— Raven —•

“You know what… I feel like being nice today.”

•— John —•

"What are you plotting?"

•— Raven —•

“Me? Plotting? As if I would?” Smirks.

“Also, why aren’t you offering to help? And you call yourself my friend.”

•— John —•

“Please!! We all know when it comes to plotting, I am the genius! You are the one that needs to make my crazy ideas  possible!”

•— Raven —•

“Excuse Me!!” Poking him in the chest with narrowed eyes. “Correct me if I’m wrong, however I’ve had a big hand in the last two or three plots we worked on!”

•— John —•

“You did… but like I said…. My plots… your genius inventions! I’ll split the credit 50/50.” Holding out my hand to seal the deal.

•— Raven —•

My eyes linger on the outstretched hand. I shook my head. “More effort goes into the execution of a plan. 80/20 sound better from where I stand.”

•— John —•

I tilted my head, like I might be pondering her offer. “60/40?” I countered with a smirk.

•— Raven —•

Shaking my head slowly, biting my lips.  “70/30. If you ask nicely.”

•— John —•

I swallowed… what the… my heart did a thing. And I felt like I would give her anything she wanted at that moment. But that would give me away.

“65/35” I pressed leaning form added a little, turning light blue eyes up to her.

•— Raven —•

“Deal!” Reaching out I took his hand in mine. Shaking it before he changed his mind.

“I would have giving the last offer if you pushed, Watcher! I win!” Winking at him with a shoulder nudge.

•— John —•

“Did you though?” I raised a single brow?  “You accepted my offer… sooooo don’t I win?”

•— Raven —•

Dropping his hand to wave his outlandish claim off. “Yes, yes I did. I’m not a novice, John. I know when a deal is ready for negotiation and when to call it.”

•— John —•

I gasped, loud and dramatic! “You took advantage of me!?! I’m horrified!!” My very poor attempt at not laughing failed miserable.

“So who are we prancing today?”

•— Raven —•

“You’ll get over yourself.” Rolling my eyes at him, with a lick of my lips. I pointed to the door with the window in the middle of it.

“We are not prancing. More like…” tapping my chin as I thought. “Making things fun.”  On the other side of the door say Harper and Luna’s  class of children of all ages. “There is a box of the ice cream to make up for whatever we do.”

•— John —•

I tilted my head looking at her…. “Okay fine…. But after the we can do a real prank right?” I couldn’t play a joke on those kids; they had been through so much…

“Maybe we try make a game of leaning some of the Tek on board. I know a lot of the grounders are struggling with  lights and even doors. Kids pick up these things faster.”

•— Raven —•

Rubbing my hands together. “I knew you would be the perfect partner in crime for this. And yeah. That’s sounds pretty good to me.”

Waving my hand towards the door. “I was thinking about a light show in the observation room. However, learning is the more important thing to do.”

•— John —•

“That would be a good reward… something for them to look forward too if they work hard?” I smiled… going even if they didn't work at all she would still do it. “I know most of the kids are well-recovered, but this place is still very strange to them… showing them it can be pretty, and fun could go a long way to helping when it's time to go to cryo.”

•— Raven —•

Biting on my lips I let my eyes moved away from John. How did this guy always hit the nail on the head? “Uhmm… yeah… yes. Of course.” Shifting off one foot to the other.

“Some part of me feels guilty.” Blurting it out. “You know, they had a life on the ground. They were allowed to be kids. But here… we are going to freeze them in time. I feel like I’m going to steal their childhood or something.” My logic mind knew the truth, however my heart… it had another story to tell.

•— John —•

“Raven… a lot of these kids lived in poverty, or started working the land as soon as they could hold a rake.” I told her. “They would be dead on the ground... And not because of us… Because of the toxic death traps humans built 100 years ago. Here, they are medicine. Their  families… and soon they'll go to sleep, safe and warm.

They won't know hunger, or rationing…. Solar flare hideouts, or water shortages. Then…when they walk up, they will be home. And it will feel like the blink of an eye. They'll all still be the same age; they won't lose a moment of innocence.” I stepped closer to her. “You might feel like they are losing time… but it's not true… it's just because you'll be watching them through the glass.”

I knew she wouldn't go into cryo. She would stay and make sure everyone was safe. “But to them… no time will pass. And I'll be right there. On the other side of the glass with you. The whole time.”

•— Raven —•

“It’s cold…” the words came out without a thought. “The Cryo… it’s cold… not warm.” Swallowing back the floods of emotions which rared its head out of nowhere.

Of course, I knew John told the truth, but guilt came with no rhyme, nor reason. It liked to sit on my chest  free of charge.

And then it hit me. “What did you say?” Frowning a little. “Why aren’t you going in?” Lowering my voice so I didn’t disturb the class of children.

“John why wouldn’t—“ it hit me. Why would he? The realisation did not stop the anxiety of what it would mean if he didn’t go in with the rest.

“John….??”

•— John —•

“Oh…” I mean I knew that but… “They… um… won’t feel the cold, will they?” I knew that too. I mean, they weren’t literally frozen… I didn’t understand the science, but I knew that much.

“I can’t, Raven… I just… I’ll make myself useful. I will but don’t ask me to go  in there if…” I stopped myself from saying -if you’re not.-

“Besides… do you really think I will let you have years on me? You’re already smarter than me. I won’t let wield age over me too.” I laughed.

Would it truly create an age gap between us? It wasn’t something I  prepared to risk... The few days I had lost her were like a living hell. She would live a life for five years while I slept. I wouldn't even know her when I woke up. Wed be strangers again.

•— Raven —•

How was I going to break this down? First glancing around, because I didn’t need an audience.

“We don’t have enough sedation for everyone.” Keeping my voice low. The children will be the first to be given it, so that their experience is as smooth as possible. Then the clans heads are assigned to tell us who is likely to need what is left.” Rubbing my forehead, I shifted to rest my shoulder on the cold metal wall. “This is something they are trying to work out in the council room. Well. One of the things.”

Dropping my gaze to the floor I sighed  “I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to John. I’ve learnt my lesson when it comes to that. However, I need to you understand what you are asking. The fact that everyone but a skeleton crew will be sleeping. Dreaming I hope of a new world where we can make  better choices. Be better people. They will all be waiting for this world… and five years…. It’s an incredible amount of time to be left with your thoughts up here.”

His mental health had to come first. “I’ll still be here when you wake up. And I promise not to hold my wisdom and years over you.” Half smiling, I gave him a nudge.

•— John —•

I shuddered. Not at the idea that there wasn’t enough sedation… grounders were tough they would handle it. As long as the kids were looked after. It was the dreaming… five years locked in my head with my monsters? I’d rather float myself…

I knew she would be there… or I hoped… who would she be by then? Who would stay awake with her? Would they be her family? Would she fall in love?

My heart squeezed. “You’d be a stranger.” I blurted out…. “Five years… you… it’s…” I stopped and took a breath. “There aren’t a lot of people that ever cared about me… or that I cared about. I can’t… I couldn’t… wake up and they won a care about the most was a stranger… how..” I stammered. “And what if….” I stopped. What if she was right and we dreamed for five whole years. Five years in hell, running, dying alone, watching her die again and again. 

“I need to be on that crew, Stargazer.”

•— Raven —•

My feet took me towards the shadows in the corridor. I could have him witness the entire scene on my face while he spoke, and my emotions made themselves knows.

My heart sank at the thought of becoming a stranger to him. But wouldn’t that be true for them all? Everyone who went to sleep?

“What about Emori, of Luna. You know they need you to be there for them too. I’m not worth giving up time for John.” Hearing him use the Nick name he himself gave to me, made something in my stomach twist.

“I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t feel is correct. I just….” Tugging at the ponytail on my head. “I just need you to understand the meaning of staying awake. Of the responsibilities on your shoulders, what if something goes wrong ? What if you and I mess up and fight, and you never want to see me again?” the fact came as I said it. If he came to ask me to put him to sleep. I would do it for him. No questions asked.

•— John —•

I wasn’t sure #Luna would be willing to let herself be put under… #Emori? Maybe. She was a survivor. But she might just choose family after the regrets of choosing the leave the island.

“I don’t know for sure what they will want when the time comes.” I admitted. “But I know what I want. And it not just because if terrified of those tiny little coffin….” I shuddered. Then, I can out and said it. “I want to be where you are… I want to work on all my shit…” I rubbed at the side of my head. “And be the person I thought I was becoming on the  island, before we back down there. I see him more clearly when you’re around.” Then I chuckled.

“But if you think we’ll last 5 years without a fight? You’re delusional. But…” I closed some of the space she made between us. “There’s no world where I never wanna see you. You are a lot of… fun…” I quirked a brow. “… to look at.”

•— Raven —•

My heart in my chest did something, as did my stomach. Because he wanted to be with me. He was picking something no one had done since….. pushing that thought away before I needed to think it to the end. Rolling my eyes, which I was certain he couldn’t see. I slapped him up the side of his head.

“And you were doing so well there, Watcher. Had me thinking you were all feels… but then you’re a teasing little shit.” However, I closed the rest of the space hugging him. Hiding my face from him. “You’re an arse.” Then curious to ask.

“This isn’t because of the island and boat thing. You are going for a long nap isn’t the same thing… and we are over that misstep in our friendship John.”

•— John —•

I laughed; I knew I had broken her tension. I rubbed my head where she slapped me... not because it hurt. She hadn't laid a hand on me to cause me pain since the night she split my lip, and subsequently promised to never hurt me again.

 Then she hugged me, and I was frozen. I hugged her back after two heartbeats. She smelled like she always did, like machine oil and sparks... like home.

"No, it's not about that, it's about this." I squeezed her "It's about family..." Maybe the other would choose this too? I thought to myself. "I think this is how I heal, Stargazer. On the island, there were... less people. People I learned to trust. Maybe whatever crew stay awake... I can learn to trust too. But I need you... to call me on my bullshit and remind me to do better. And I really, really... need to know you're alive."

•— Raven —•

Something tightened in my chest. His letter flashed before my eyes where he asked me to stay alive.

Shaking my head, I pulled back and mustered up the courage to smile. “Okay. So It’s for our small dysfunctional family. This I can get myself behind.”

Still hoping he wouldn’t ever end up regretting making this choice. “And if you are mad at me, the ships big enough for you to never have to see me.” Squeezing his shoulders.

“Okay. So.” Looking around “Brains of the Universe. What are we going to do for a little fun for the kids?”

•— John —•

I smiled, still holding onto her... and wondering how long was too long.

"Yeah, that... and maybe more selfishly for myself. I think this is my chance to... get my head on straight." I put a small amount of distance between us, enough to see her face "#Luna has already agreed that the next time we fight she will lock us in a room until it's fixed or there's only a single survivor."

I let go of her when she reverted to her plan for the kids. "I think the first thing to do is maybe teach them what not to do.... like accidentally opening an airlock."

•— Raven —•

His eyes, those deep-sea blue eyes. They ones I’d seen so much in has lost some of their brightness, however I was determined to bring it back.

“As long as it is my cabin, or work space we will be fine. You know I’m all about the multi-tasking when I’m angry.”

Breaking a hug  wasn’t how I did things. I licked to give the other person the time they needed before pulling away. But the sliding sound of door behind us caught my attention.

‘Hello you two. What do we owe the pleasure too?’ #Harper stood there what a child on her finger and a smirk.

•— John —•

“Hell no!!” I laughed. “Neutral ground… you already have an advantage… I’m not adding all your tools into that as well." The door opened too soon, Raven was doing that thing where she was watching my eyes and that, of course, meant was staring.

Then Harper was there, and my  face burned like a child caught sneaking out during their station's sleep cycle.

I cleared my throat. "Um..." I looked at Raven. "We thought we have the world's greatest and possibly only mechanic... Give the kids a crash course in how this place works."

•— Raven —•

“Hey! I’m not doing it all by myself!” Smacking him up the side of his head before letting go to turn and face #Harper.

Her eyes lingered on John and then me, and back again. “Harper? What do you think?” Clicking my fingers to gain her attention.

‘Oh. Yeah. A field trip should good. We should plan it out first right? Make sure the place is safe for the little ones?’ Pointing to the young one on her finger.

“Between all four of us, and I’m sure we could ask others to help next time too, we should mange it. What do you think Watcher?”

•— John —•

“Really? What do you have against my hair?” I teased dragging my fingers through it. “I mean it’s kids how hard can it be?” #Harper’s eyebrow quirked. I figured that meant very.

‘They are good kids. But they hardly speak any English…’ Harper explained.

“Consider me your  trusty translator.” She gave me another look. “I might not be as good as #Clarke but I can speak Trig.” I told her.

‘Oh I know that… but… how do I know you won't fill their heads with mischief? Because I hardly speak any’

I smirked. “I’ll make that easy too. I absolutely  will fill their heads with mischief.”

I walked into the room, recognizing many of the kids. “Yungon Kru!” (young one clan) I called to them. “Gada raun hir.” (gather around) I held out my arms like a Shepherd herding his flock and they gathered. Sitting in the floor around  me. They were fascinated by a Skaikru speaking their language. “Finally.” I sighed, smiling at the two women. “The respect I deserve.”

Harper muttered something, grinning.

•— Raven —•

‘Of course, he is at home with the children.’ #Harper muttered to me as the two of us stood beside one another watching John take centre stage for his first performance on the ship.

“Don’t knock the free help here, he is giving you a break from the madness.” She was smiling and shrugged her shoulders.

‘You know Rey, I’ve trained to be a perfect marksperson. They put a gun in my hand, and I took to it. But this.’ Lifting her chin towards the kids. ‘This gives me peace… you know?’ And I did. I understood what she must feel. “Maybe this is why I keep looking for ways to help these children? To make up for some of the bad I’ve done on their world.”

We both were smiling now. Watching from the sideline, Harper proud of the kids, and me proud of the Watcher.

•— John —•

I spotted #Dela in the group and grinned, looking over to see if Raven had seen her yet. She was looking good. Her eyes were still dark and her skin a little pale, but she seemed to have as much energy as all the other kids.

Rey was talking quietly with Harper.

I explained in Trig to the children that we were going to take a little walk around the ship and stopped…#Dela was Trishanakru… they had led the anti-tek attacks in Polis.

I walked back to the two women. “#McIntyre… do you know how many of these kids are Trishanakru?”

I couldn't  help but worry. Dela’s father had been kind to me when I helped his daughter. Would we start a conflict with them teaching this to the children?

•— Raven —•

#Harper and I both turned to face John at the same time. 

‘Trishanakru.. Uhm… yeah, we have six in the room right now. The others aren’t really allowed to come yet. Luna is working on it.’

She turned her attention to the room point them out as she spoke. ‘We have Dela….’ I could hear another word. My eyes found the little girl who I had carried onto this ship. Her smile found me, and she came running over. Opening my arms for her I held on to her for dear life. She was my saving, Grace. The one thing I had gotten right in so long. She was still a little pale, weak, however full of life.

Emotions filled my with a lump in my throat, tightening in my chest. But I knew. They were of the good kind.

When I asked her how she was, the girl began to tear up.

‘I…I.. kiss you?’ I stood stunned. ‘Miss…’ #Harper corrected. ‘I missed you.’ She smiled at #Dela. The girl nodded her head, saying again slowly to ensure it was correct.

I beamed with pride. “Yu dig mou snap.” (You learnt fast). Combing her hair off her face. “I missed you too.” Smiling I remembered Johns question. “Why are you asking about Dela’s kru?”

•— John —•

I counted the number of kids in the room… six from TrishanaKru… that was likely a majority… but that made no sense. With clothes being shared, especially for the children (the prison uniforms weren’t an option) and with every tribe came in all colours and shapes (even if a  few did have a clear majority of skin colour.) The girls all were too young to need to cover their hair if they were Sangedakru and they were all too young to have any tribal markings or identifying tattoos.

“Six…” I muttered. “That makes no sense.”

I chuckled at #Dela’s mixed-up words… but she was learning. “You have a fan, Stargazer.” I said to Raven quietly.

Then I stepped closer to the girls, sticking to English now. “#Illian was Trishanakru and he led all of the Tek raids in Polis after the City of Light fell… they are or at least, were… anti-tek… but up here… #Dela’s father is the elder… an if he has encouraged parents to send the kids here…. Maybe…” I trailed off… trying to figure this out. “We don’t want to cross any lines and hurt the chance of the Clan working with us.”

I got down to #Dela’s level. “Chit don yu Nontu tell yu op hasta komb’ir raun hir?” (What did your father tell you about coming here.)

#Dela looked a little nervous. “En’s ku, Dela. Osir jos gaf gon tich yo hasta…” (it’s okay, Dela. We just want to) Shit! There was no Trigedasleng word  for spaceship…. I looked up at the others… Raven learned her Trig from me and #Luna. I wished the Zen Master was here.

‘Skaidon?’ #Dela provided. ‘Luna Kom Flokru tag on….’ She motioned all around us with large movements. ‘Skaidon-de’ (Skyboat? Luna of the Boat People  calls this the sky boat.)

I told her; Yes, we want to teach the children about the sky boat. And she explained to me that her father told her to learn everything Skaikru taught them because they knew more about our new home.

Then I came back to the two women again. “Dela said Delano told them all to learn anything we can teach them. I think he’s more open-minded than the previous leadership. I think we should do it.”

•— Raven —•

“I’m a bloody rockstar. You are the only one who doesn’t drop at my feet, Watcher.” #Harper coughed to hide her laughter at the two of us.

My own attention moved to the small girl and how she looked while speaking with John. I could pick up the gist of the conversation, however felt a little lost too.

“Delano? Why would he stop us?”

#Delano, #Dela’s had been a kind man. Someone is spoken to a few times now. He was thrust into a position of leadership for his people who had followed him and his wife onto the carrier that day of evacuation. #Dela’s mother had pleaded for help, her daughter lay dying in their - arms. Just the reminder of the day made my stomach churn.

#Dela slipped her small hand into mine and I didn’t hesitate to close my fingers around it. If she needed my touch right now. I would give it. “Delano is a kind man, and he’s seen what we can do to help his people.” Smiling down at the girl. “He came to the med bay and stayed by his daughters side. He was watching, learning, and listening. I can’t see anything wrong with the child’s learning about where they are living now.”

The way #Harper glanced around the room and then to John told me I was romanticising my outlook at little?

‘I don’t know guys, John’s making a good point. What if we take it in small groups? Leave the TrishanaKru children until Luna is back?’

“Also, not a bad thing I guess.” My attention was back on John again. “Why did you say this didn’t make any sense? Before. When Harper told you there are six kids here?”

•— John —•

“I know… But under #Delano’s leadership, the Clan are opening up a little more.” I said to her. I couldn’t help but be stunned that #Harper was taking me seriously. That wasn’t anything against #Harper, she and I never had any real issues. In lock-up, I may have made a few  inappropriate comments to her… playing up to the crowd, but she never seemed to hold it against me. It was simply the fact that anyone was taking me seriously… #Emori had been the first and then Raven and #Luna… I thought that #DrGriffin had started to as well… but I had  just been the most convenient person for the job she needed done.

“I feed all of these people… I know exactly how many children are on this ship… there are thirteen clans. Trishanakru has nine minors… three are teenagers. So essentially all their kids are here. Maths  isn’t my strong suit but based on the number of kids in the room… it’s a huge majority. It’s like the clan has made a complete U-turn in their opinions of Skaikru.”

•— Raven —•

#Harper’s eyes were on me; I could feel them so when I met them it wasn’t a surprise to see the shock. All I could do was shrug my shoulders to say, ‘Yeah, it’s him… John Murphy… stepping up and taking notice.’

We turned our attention back to him, well… #Harper did, mine  moved to the room and the children.

“But are they really?” Lifting my chin to the room. “There isn’t much tech in here. It’s not even a real class room.” I’d been here a few times now, helping #Luna and #Harper when I could. Being around the hustle and bustle of the youngsters gave me a sense of purpose and peace.

“Luna tells then stories, she’s kinda good at it, and Harper here plays with them. Teaching them some of our language and learning theirs.” I could feel her nodding. ‘Luna and I gather things from around the ship we feel could be of help to them. So, they aren’t completely lost. However, we don’t force them to go against their clans in any way. It’s kinda one of the main reasons some of the children aren’t allowed to come. Luna says we need to build trust, not betray it.’ #Dela let go of my hand and run off to play with some of her friends, making my heart dance. “But I see where John is coming from. Six out nine children… that’s a high percentage.”

#Harper shifts towards John. ‘What am I missing. I still don’t understand why it’s worrying. Isn’t that a good thing?’

•— John —•

I looked around the room again. Okay, so they have a point… there's not a lot of technology in here. Would a prison ship have a classroom? Should I ask or was that a stupid question? No… it was definitely a stupid question.

I smiled at the mention of #Luna’s storytelling. “I mean… not much else to do on an oil rig in the middle of the ocean.” I chuckled fondly.

“You’re right… it is a good thing… I think.” I dragged my hand through my hair. Now my mind was racing with so many other thoughts now. My distrustful nature was sneaking back in. #Delano is a good man… isn’t he? I had thought the same about #Bellamy once and he hung me…

“No… Yeah… It’s a good thing. Hopefully, the rest of the clans will follow suit.” I said. “Okay… come on. Let’s do this thing. See what happens.”

•— Raven —•

#Harper and I exchanged looks once again. I knew him was clearly holding something back. And I could see from the look #Harper gave she thought the same. The question was should I push him to just say what he was thinking, or do I wait for him to feel comfortable enough to say  it by himself?

This friendship had just come back to some form of stability, and I was ashamed to admit to myself I didn’t want to rock the boat.

Telling myself John would tell me if he felt it was important. But then a part of me wanted him to just say whatever  was on his mind. Not to hold back. And I knew it would take time.

‘What are we doing? This was your brain wave.’ #Harper questions.

“We were thinking it would be a good idea to show the children the rest of the ship. Where they can go, where not to go because of danger.

You know safety measures.” I told her, still stealing gazes at John.

•— John —•

I saw the way Raven glanced at #Harper… Could she see the anxiety underlying my thoughts? I could tell her later without Harper and several sets of ears listening in. Damn… Was I so paranoid that I thought one or more of these children were faking not speaking  Gonasleng? Fuck!

No… #Delano is a good guy.

Right?

“Why don’t we take a walk and then anything you guys think is relevant we can stop and explain?” I looked between the two women… kids and lessons weren’t exactly my strong suit… but at least for this lone afternoon I was useful, I could translate.

It might only be for a few hours but feeling useful again… felt good.

•— Raven —•

“Let’s do this.” Rubbing my hands together with a smile.

“Right, who’s up for an adventure?” I asked in trig, and got it so wrong that;

1) the kids looked at me confused.

2) they whispered to one another. And 3) they slowly burst out in laughter. However, it didn’t cause me embarrassment nor that  uncomfortable feeling. I just laughter with them too.

“Opps…” loud whispering to John. “What in hells did I just say to them?”

#Harper began gathering the youngest of the children, guiding them toward the door however not opening it just yet. Finding myself watching her I couldn’t help but wonder how life would have been for her if choices were allowed and circumstance hadn’t changed her path.

“You’re so good with them Harper. And they really like you. I can tell.”

•— John —•

I chuckled a little at the mispronunciation. “You just ask if they wanted to get cooked.” I pinched my brows and tried to control my expression from teasing her. “Wom op… is to cook. And wona of is adventure or…” I tilted my head because as far as I knew there  wasn’t actually a Trig word for adventure. “Exploring. But you were close… on pronunciation at least.” I reached out and touched her arm, without thinking… like it was the most normal thing in the world to do.

It should have been hard to reconcile the expert marksman that  was #HarperMcIntyre with the Harper McIntyre in front of me now. Making children who could barely understand her smile, laugh, and follow instructions… But it wasn’t, it seemed like the perfect fit for her. I repeated what Raven had tried to say, in Trig, and the kids all looked up at us excitedly. I leaned into Raven and whispered because I didn’t want to steal #Harper’s thunder.

“Hey, looks like I’m pretty good at this too.” I smirked.

•— Raven —•

“I know you are, who knows… maybe you’ve found another calling without expecting too?” The way these kids reacted to both these people had to be astounding. #Harper and John? Children whispers? Who would have thought, not me that’s who!

#Harper asked me to stand at the door, for John to stand in the middle about foot feet away from me, and she took the back with the last two kids.

Telling them to stay in the line, to hold the hands of their, ‘Buddy’ and to look after on another.

“Damn Harper, is it wrong that I’m a little turned on by the school teacher thing happening here?” Waggling my eyebrows, I shook my shoulders trying to tease her. And it worked, her cheeks and ears turned a Beet red making me laugh so hard.

“Okay Crew, you are the young officers of this ship, and it is your responsibility  to know and understand how to keep safe and look after those who cannot help themselves. So, let’s go and see what we can find!”

Opening the door, I turned to smile at John. “Hey Watcher, do you want to take the lead in exposing and explaining it all? My trig is No-way as good as yours.”

•— John —•

I laughed so hard I snorted. “Nope!” I shook my head vehemently. “Rare occasions like this are fine… but when it comes to kids; I’m a small doses kinda guy.” I shuddered remembering the few days I was forced to spend in the care centre after my mother died.

“Damn, Reyes… who  knew you were into blondes.” I chuckled.

I translated everything Raven said as best I could… taking up the position that #Harper asked me to as we filed out the door. I looked at Raven when she asked me to take the lead. “Um…” I looked at the kids and then around the ship… I had no idea how any of this stuff worked beyond the most basic function.

“I wouldn’t even know what was worth pointing out or not… How about you point, I translate… and if I think there’s anything else worth telling them about you can help tell me how it works?” I  raised a brow. “You know… teamwork and all?”

•— Raven —•

Rolling my eyes, “if only you knew all my kinks Watcher.” A mischievous grin on my face.

‘Rey! Children! John Do Not Translate that for them.’ #Harper shook her head and still smiled with a blush creeping up her cheeks.

“Okay… okay… we can do this. Team work.” Team works my arse… I knew where my strengths lay, and giving kid a tour wasn’t up in that list.

I was the nerd, the overachiever who thrived on knowing the consequences of all the action I planned to take. But this one? Well, it’s becoming clear I didn’t think it through at all.

Taking my jacket off, I wrapped it around my waist. Pulled and tugging at my braid trying to cool off my neck.

“Okay. Let’s head starboard, we can go to see the main deck. The main deck is where we pilot this ship from. Even if we are standing still right now. However, you can see the views of the stars from there.”

Walking ahead I felt a small hand lacing its way into mine. #Dela smiled up at me and I squeezed her to reassure both of us.

•— John —•

I help my hands out to #Harper in an 𝕆𝕙 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 gesture. “Oh, c’mon! Even I’m not that stupid.” I rolled my eyes and smirked. “Like I would air her kinks so openly when I could save them for use as blackmail later.” I laughed. #Harper gave me a look like she would wallop  me if she was close enough… even with the prying eyes of all the kids here.

Raven said starboard… I wasn’t unfamiliar with the word. I knew it meant a side of the ship… port and starboard, left and right… but which one was which? Was there a Trig word for starboard? My mind boggled while I tried to figure out if it was left or right. A cough came from behind me as we all followed Raven like little ducks in a row. I heard a cough from behind me that sounded like the word “Right.” I flashed #Harper an appreciative smile over my  shoulder.

“Rasad.”(Right) I said out loud… but then stopped and translated the whole sentence Rey had said. I shrugged at her. “I don’t know ship words.” I chuckled but I made a note to ask #Luna later. #Emori might know either; she knew her way around a vessel… but not  like The Zen Master did.

•— Raven —•

“Personal note, punch him in the arm. Just for the fun of it and payback.” Of course, I wouldn’t. The promise I made him and myself never to hit him again wouldn’t allow me, (not even as a joke.)

Listening to John translate, I felt a little impressed at him and myself. Who knew we could be a good team when it came to talking to the young ones.

“Crap, sorry. I didn’t mean to make you use your two brain cells. I’ll keep it simple from here.” Pointing to the corridor, coming up to our right. “We will be going right here. However, if you look ahead.” Pointing to the closed doors. “This is where the security room on this floor is situated. If you ever feel unsafe, or need help, or are lost, there will always be someone in there who will be willing to assist you.” As I say the words, the doors slide open to reveal #Nate and #Jasper coming out.

‘Hey… what’s going on here?’ #Jasper asked in a singsong voice. ‘Is there a party we didn’t get an invite to?’ Winking at the kids. The youngest of the group holding #Harper’s hand hid behind her. All we could see were green eyes from behind Harper’s leg.

‘There you go scaring that little ones, Jordan.’ #Nate rolled his eyes. ‘Don’t worry, he scares me too.’ He bent down and smiled at the kids.

•— John —•

I rolled my eyes at her. “Hey, you’re the one in need of my mad skills! Sorry if my brain cells are full because I learned an entire language in the span of a few months.” I rubbed it in.

“Dison hir bilaik faswogeda-de.” (This is the security room.) I translated for her… then  continued with everything else she said.

I moved to the back of the line while one of the boys at the front traced the Ark logo on #Nathan’s shoulder. I asked the little girl hiding behind #Harper.

‘Gona.’ (Soldier) She whispered, pointing at the guys.

“Nou.” (No) I told  her, offering her my hand. “Emo… Bloka. Chilkepa. Emo kep oso klir.” (They are Guards. Peacekeepers. They keep all of us safe.)

The girl finally took my hand and came with me to the front of the line. “Naithon… Jaspa…”

‘Bloka?’ She looked at me and I nodded. Then she  touched Nathan’s shoulder too. ‘Kep oso klir.’

‘What did you tell her?’ #Nate asked.

“She thought you were a soldier… Gona… I told her you were a Guard or a Peacekeeper.” I wasn’t really sure that he would like that, but we need these kids to know that we weren’t their enemy, or their jailers.

#Jasper grinned. ‘Clever.’

“Not just a pretty face.” I grinned at him. Then I turned to all the kids and asked them in trig to repeat the words after me in English. Guard and Security Room.

•— Raven —•

Both #Harper and I found ourselves witnessing a gentle side to the boys. We hadn’t had the opportunity or the chance to need it before. However, when push came to shove here, they were.

#Jasper moved into the fray of things, showing the kids how to juggle pens! “Jas, you will have one of their eyes out with those things flying in the air!”

‘Nope, it’s all in the skill of my fingers.’ He wiggled them in the face of a child making then laugh. Causing me to roll my eyes and laugh all at once. “If you harm one of them, you’ll have to answer to Luna.” This made him stop.

‘Party pooper, Rey.’

‘Okay, okay.’ Clapping her hands to gain the attention of everyone. #Harper pointed to the corridor on the right. ‘We should keep moving, less questions that way.’ “Good point, well made.”

Thanking #Nate and #Jasper, because of them all the children seemed more relaxed.

•— John —•

I was preoccupied with the kids and #Jasper’s show. But I still noticed the attention the girls paid to us and not just the kids. She gave me that nickname for a reason after all. But Rey was smiling, I never knew she liked kids so much… then again, maybe she didn’t either.

Children were rare on the Ark, most of us were only around kids when we actually were kids.

The kids seemed to understand the request to move on easily. “They really are picking up on English fast.” I said the Harper and Raven as they led the way. I chuckled thinking of the Skaikru members that refused to make any effort to learn Trigedasleng. A superiority complex was the real enemy of survival.

“Where next captain?” I asked Raven at the head of the line of chattering children. It was strange that she was so relaxed working with a large of children around a century-old spaceship.

•— Raven —•

“Captain? Are you trying to promote me without a hint of negotiation, John Murphy?” Pointing ahead. “Let’s go this way.”

This wasn’t on my list of things to do today, but it wasn’t selfless. These children needed out, to feel some freedom, they weren’t made to be locked away unlike us. We knew what it meant to be confined. We did it without a question (well mostly. Maybe. Okay fine. We were bad at it too. However, not the point I was making to myself!)

Great! Now I was fighting with myself internally!

‘Are you okay Ray?’ #Harper called from the back. When I turned to see all those eyes on me.

“All good here. I’m still thinking we head to the main deck; the bridge is where we flight this ship from, the windows—” cutting off mid thought.

“Shit!” Shaking my head. “Don’t translate that, John!” Keeping my  voice even. “I didn’t think this through.” Shit… shit… shit….

 “Air locks… let’s go to the lower decks, show the children the works of this place, I’ve been working on the transport ship.” How could I be so single minded! Foolish!

•— John —•

I laughed. “The last thing you need is an ego boost like that. And I think our fine Lieutenant…” The word was filled with sarcasm. “Would be very put out by that.”

I stopped when Rey mentioned the main deck… Wouldn’t we need permission for that? I knew Raven could come and  go as she pleased, but surely it was off-limits. It was probably a great thing to show the kids though, but maybe we could see if it was something we could do another day.

Raven was kind of freaking out… my brow pinched as I watched her. But I didn’t want to ask her what was wrong in front of #Harper and the kids. “Okay… I won’t…” I assured her.

“Airlocks it is…” I kept my eyes on her. There was always a constant sense of unease when I didn’t know if she was okay or not. I told the kids to follow her and looked for an opportunity to ask her what was going on inside that head of hers.

•— Raven —•

Now my mind flew through this plan we came up with. I came up with. Was it really a good idea? Should we be walking these around a ship that wasn’t even ours?

Then again, seeing the change in the children after seeing Nate and Jasper it was worth it. So, this was right. I needed to stop second guessing myself.

“Okay… I know it’s not much to look at but trust me when I say that this ship is full of exciting surprises that are beautiful. Pressing a code into the security doors for them to open. “These doors are in place to keep each part of the ship safe in case of an emergency.” Tapping the heavy doors as I walked by.

‘Rey, we need to work on your idea of what is an exciting surprise for a child.’ #Harper called out from the back.

“What do you mean? This is good stuff I’m showing.” Okay, maybe I needed to work on how to make others as excited about these things?

Feeling a tug on my hand my hazel eyes dropped to the small boy. Leaning down when he motioned, he whispered in my ear in trig. I’d picked up enough to know he needed a bathroom.

“We are going to make a small detour.” There was a small officer den ahead of us.

Once at the door, I pushed in the Mater code waiting as the doors slid apart. “Bathroom break, if anyone wants to go, come on in.” Walking the boy in, he stopped outside the door of the bathroom hopping from foot to foot, however he wouldn’t go in.

“It’s okay. It is safe in there.” I told him. Opening the door to show him.

•— John —•

The kids were distracted, looking around at the ship. I heard one of them ask why there weren’t any trees or grass. I was about to translate the question for Raven when #Harper spoke. “I mean… Sure they need to have fun.” I interjected. “But the kids  need to learn that they should steer clear of the airlocks too.”

#Harper seemed to pause for a moment. “It was different for us… we grew up around this stuff. These kids have no clue that stepping out into space can --- “ I made the universal Kill you motion.

‘You have a point.’ She admitted.

“Let’s let Raven do the nerd stuff and you and I figure out how to make it fun.” I said to her, and she nodded.

We detoured to the bathroom, and I was not about to take a bunch of little kids to do their business. “I’ll wait out here with the others.” I offered quickly before they could ask me to take the kids in there.

•— Raven —•

‘Oh, so you’ll help just not with the hard stuff, huh?’ I could hear #Harper teasing John before she came inside to join me as the children with me too turned to visit the restroom.

‘It’s so nice to see them happily using the bathrooms now. It’s took Luna a lot of exampling  for them to stop thinking they would be endangered if they say on them.’

She elbowed my side to gain my attention. ‘Hey, are you okay?’ Lifting her chin to the door. ‘Out there before, you seem to have been…’ she didn’t need to say it, I knew what she meant.

“Yeah, not my finest hour.” Shaking my head stepping back to lean on the walk to take some of the pressure off myself. “I was thinking of taking them to see the views and experience the flight deck.”

‘Yeah, I know. I wasn’t there when we made the plan.’ She looked confused.

“Harper… the flight deck... it had a front row seat of their home… earth… which is being consumed and ravished by Praimfaya right now. I don’t want them seeing that… witnessing the end of the only home they know. That’s…” I shook my head.

‘Oh… shit…’ she whispered. And I nodded my head.

“I’m an idiot… what the hells was I thinking!”

•— John —•

I winked at #Harper. “You may be a sharp shooter #Harper but you aren’t quick enough on the draw!” I teased.

The girls disappeared into the bathroom with a few of the kids and in the meantime… I was left alone in the hallway with most of them. The kids asked me questions about Raven. I explained her job to them in Trig as best as I could until one of the children asked me where Skaikru’s children were.

I squatted down to their level and explained to them our clan only had one small child… the rest were older. They had a whole lot of  questions about it. But I didn’t think that explaining to them that, most of them died in the sections on the ark that burned up when it crashed to earth or in the sections that didn’t land right. So I told them that living in space means you have limited space and food; so people were only allowed to have one child.

Then I asked them who had brothers or sisters. Some of them raised their hands and I knew by the looks on their faces that their sibling probably hadn’t been in Polis when they evacuated. It was unlikely that many of the siblings made it on board unless they were soldiers. Or one of the babies.

Then I explained to them that no one in Skaikru had brothers or sisters… other than the new Heda Okteivia… while I knocked on the door for the girls to hurry up.

•— Raven —•

#Harper and I stood in silence as we listened to John, a lot of what he said had been missed. However, the parts I could understand made it clear what the children were asking.

I told #Harper in a low voice what the topic of discussion was with a solemn look on my features, which she mirrored.

‘They haven’t asked me about this, unless Luna explained it, maybe?’

I shrugged my shoulders, “John speaks their language, they are relaxed now and maybe feel a connection?”

She scoffed. ‘We all know, John is a big kid.’ And I knew she said it to  Lighten the heaviness in the room, however I shook my head.

“You know, Harper… in Becca’s time… you and I would have been classed as young ones too.”

With the last of the children washing their hands as #Harper has taught them; we heard the knock on the door from John. Opening it I smile. “You know better than to rush someone who needs to go, Watcher.”

Letting everyone out, and back into their line we began to walk towards the elevators. “Could you let them all know we are going to in this, and that it’s safe. I’ve tested them all now, so if they want to use them. They can around the ship?” I asked John.

•— John —•

I couldn’t hear much with the kids still asking questions and speaking to each other. I grinned up at her when she opened the door. “The questions were about to get really awkward out here.” I chuckled. “I needed the backup.”

I followed her to the elevator, and I started to  explain it to them in Trig. “Disha hir Tagon Vieda.” (this is called an Elevator) Then I repeated the word in English, asking them all to say it. In trig again I told them, “This takes you up or down to all the different levels of the ship. One of the kids shouted out about  the lift in the Commander's tower that was raised and lowered by a pulley system and two men.

“He wants to know if it's like the one in the Tower in Polis… it's kind of famous.” I told the two women with me... Mostly #Harper. Raven’s trig was getting better by the day. I  told kids it was like that one, but this one was powered by machines, and it was very safe. I explained the button. “Gyon op.” For the up arrow and “Gyon daun.” For the down arrow. Then I exhaled.

“We might need to teach them how to recognise numbers, so they know if they need  go up or down.” I said but I was mostly talking to myself.

‘Can you teach me to count in Trig? And then I can teach them?’ #Harper asked me like it was a perfectly normal thing to ask. I looked at her a little shocked that she would ever think I could teach anyone anything. She cleared her throat a little awkwardly. ‘I mean… you and #Luna could teach them… but you both have other duties, so I just thought…’ She brushed her hair behind her ear, only there was nothing to brush back because her hair was braided tightly around her head. ‘Never  mind… Silly idea.’

Then I realised my expression was probably hard to read. “No… It’s not. In fact, it’s a good idea. I can definitely teach you and I’m sure Luna will help too when she can. It makes sense… you’re with these kids more than anyone. We should teach you the language.” I said, shifting my expression to a genuine one. #Clarke and #Kane had the best command of the language out of all of Skiakru but they were too busy to teach anyone anything. So, I didn’t see why #Luna and I couldn’t help. I was sure Emori would help too; she taught me most of what I knew.

•— Raven —•

New words for my trig vocabulary, my ears perked up while I pushed the code to keep the doors open for the elevator. The younger children at first felt a little dubious about the square box, while the older ones were excited, stepping on and off.

I could make out enough to know they spoke about the lift in the tower. I hadn’t seen it, because #Clark hadn’t let me on the missions taking place in those walls, I knew I’d slow them all down, so I didn’t push to go. I had other messes to clean up anyway.

When John confirmed my trail of thoughts I half smiled. “Okay. Come on young ones, it’s time to take a ride.”

It’s when I saw the exchange taking place between the other two ‘adults’ at the back. But I didn’t prying into their business. A few of the children joined me inside, some small one clanging onto #Harpers hands, and leg.

“Well, it’s going to be interesting to see how you move.” I told her.

‘John! It’s clear Rey isn’t going to help; please could you carry this little one and I’ll take the other.’ She handed the kid in her arms over to him. ‘Just go slow for them. This is all new for them all.’

“Why would I help?” Lifting my chin to all the children in the elevator with me. “Come on, we can’t go without you.”

•— John —•

A couple of the kids were still dubious of the lift; a few were clinging to #Harper for protection. I chuckled, Harper managed to waddle, shuffle, and drag her way into the lift with all bars two of the kids. I crouched to their level and asked them in trig if it was okay if I carried them into the Elevator. The boy pushed out his bottom lip and said he was afraid to go into the wall. The boy was clever… it looked like a wall before the doors opened. Especially if you had never seen one before.

“En’s nou wo… en’s…” I couldn’t call it a room  really. “Vieda…” (It's not a wall, it’s… an elevator.) I explained.

I looked at Raven. “Close the door for a second, don’t go anywhere… just show them it opens again.” I had the kids watch as the door opened again. Their expressions relaxed a little more when the children  reappeared. “Kom op?” (Coming up?)  I asked the kids again and they let me pick them up and carry them into the lift. One on each hip… The taller child made my gait a little lopsided. #Harper was grinning at me.

“What?” I asked with pinched brows.

‘You’re kind of a sweetheart, John Murphy.’ She smirked.

“What? Ho—Wh—Where did you get that idea?” My face heated. Sweetheart? Ew… Me? Never!

‘You could have just picked them up whether they liked it or not, but you asked. That was sweet!” She smirked.

•— Raven —•

#Harper saw in John what #Luna and I knew for a while now. His attitude towards those who need his help had always been well hidden in plain sight.

He has been the same with me, to the point that I had punched him in his face, and in response he’d asked if I’d felt better. “He wouldn’t do that.” I answered for John. “He believes in giving the choice, and then follow even if he disagrees with the outcome.” Somewhat true, even if there were times when he hadn’t given me the option. But then again, my mind had been melting before his eyes.

So, he could be forgiven.

My attention moved towards #Dela as the elevator began, its descent. She whispered to those who were beside her to trust the three of us in trig. She then curled her small hand into mine smiling up at me. This did something to me. My heart fluttered with a warming feeling; one I hadn’t felt for a long while.

The bell like sound indicated we had arrived on the correct floor, frightening some of the passengers in the small box. “It’s okay… it’s an important sound. This sound tells us we have arrived on our chosen floor.” Pointing to the light above the door as they slide open right then.

•— John —•

I smiled at Raven... She was wrong. She was right too… In this case, getting these kids into an elevator wasn’t life and death. I looked at Raven in the distorted reflection of the lift doors. I had done it to her though… violated her trust and her personal space, drugged  her… restrained her… all because I was trying to keep her alive, but I did it nonetheless. And somewhere deep inside I knew I would do it again, if I had to, if it would save her.

I wasn’t sure what that said about me.

The kid on my left… the smaller boy; flinched at  the ping the lift made when the lift stopped and clung to me while I was distracted by watching Dela and Rey… the pair had clearly developed a bond, and I wondered if the child understood it was Raven’s actions that had made sure she’d gotten on this ship before the Death Wave took Polis. She had been so sick… and I had been trapped in the quarantined area because I was too sick from exposure too.

Tiny arms locked around my neck, and I got a face full of dark curls. “It’s okay kid…” On instinct, I spoke English. But this child was probably  no more than three or four years old and normally only warriors learned English. He’d probably only heard the language here on the ship. I remembered how afraid I had been in the prison camp the first time I heard Trig… having no idea what they were saying unless they were interrogating me. So I comforted him in Trig but I had no free hands to offer any other kind of comfort.

The other child reached across and patted his back, telling him to be brave. The other boy's skin was deep, rich brown compared to the younger boy’s light freckled complexion… they likely weren’t even from the same village and here they were.. offering each other comfort.

When we stepped out of the lift, I stooped to let the boys down. The younger one tightened his grip around my neck. “Okay… Looks like you’re staying put.” The older  boy climbed down but stayed close.

‘Wow…’ Monty laughed, appearing from wherever he had been working. ‘That’s a new look on you John Murphy.’

“Hey… I have many talents…” I glanced at the kids. “Apparently.” Then I immediately turned to search for Rey and Dela.

•— Raven —•

‘There’s nothing wrong with having hidden talents when it comes to these little monsters.’ He growled laughing.

Because as soon as the doors opened, and the children saw #Monty they rushed out towards him. He had come down to his knees catching them, wrestling with a few of  the boys while the girls stayed waiting for John to disembark with the youngest one and then #Harper too.

‘Hi… They’ve missed your visited to the classroom.’ #Harper told him.

‘Hey.’ He smiled up at her. ‘Things have been crazy with the farm. I was on my way up now, but looks like you all have other plans?’

#Harper filled #Monty into why we were all coming down here, and the plan to show the children around the ship to help them adjust.

‘That’s a great idea, can I tag along? Another helping hand?’ He asked us all.

I smiled nodding my head down the corridor still stood in the elevator due to the commotion in the corridor before it. “Hells, yeah. More the merrier. And you can help with the nerdy stuff. I’m not exactly making this a fun trip.”  Laughing my eyes met Johns, frowning a little my brows lifted in a silent question. Asking if he was, okay?

•— John —•

I moved closer to Raven as the kids swarmed to #Monty and #Harper filled him in on the day's plans with the little ones. She’d seen that moment of darkness in the lift. Of course, she had. This was Raven… somewhere along the line, she’d learned to tune into my carefully guarded tells. I swayed to one side, brushing my shoulder against hers, giving her a small smile that said; I’m Fine, or… maybe, Later … Both? I couldn’t be sure myself. But if she wanted to know where I’d gone for that moment, I would tell her… later. Just her. The brush of my arm against hers was easier… not plagued with that feeling of invading her space, no dark whispers telling me I had no right to be that close to her. It was simple, natural… like it had been at home… in the mansion. After our breakthrough when I was a  friend not her unwanted nurse and before… before I destroyed us. But this was Raven Reyes; she’d never met a broken thing she couldn’t fix… and she had taken my hand. Taken it and held it while we slept.

So later… I could tell her. I was guilty of the things she said I  wouldn’t do… I was sorry I had done them to her, But I would do it again in a heartbeat… to save her.

“Where to next captain?” I stifled a grunt as the kid on my hips started swinging his legs to get let down to join his excited friends and narrowly missed kicking me in a  place I wanted very much not kicked! I set him down and he ran into the melee of tiny people.

•— Raven —•

My elbow nudged John right back, softly in reply, saying without speaking. ‘Okay… Later it is.’ Because I was done… I wasn’t going to let him walk alone. We were all going to be there to support one another from now on.

I heard the question and pointed up the  corridor with a smile. “To the room of Magic of course, the only place where anything can be fixed.”

Both #Harper and #Monty nodded their agreement, and #Dela tugged on my hand telling me to hurry. She wanted to be in the middle of all the mayhem.

Leaning down I smiled. “Go on ahead. I’ll be right behind you.” When I stood upright again, I saw her looking longingly towards the other children and then me. “Go on. Lead the way.”

When I glanced to my side, the shock of witnessing John’s near fatal accident made me wince. “Ouch… his foot was  way too close… Rather you than me.”

Tugging on my ponytail, setting off behind the others.

•— John —•

I smiled at her; she got it… she knew there were only a small circle of people I shared things with. I wasn’t one to spill my thoughts in front of anyone. But I could tell her. I watched the way she looked at #Dela… encouraging her to go and mingle with the other kids. I  wondered if it was hard for her. She had been in the med bay the longest of all the children. So, I wondered if had been hard for her to join this group after they’d begun making friends. It was something I had noticed in my short stay at the care centre… kids that age met someone and that same day they were best friends.

I chuckled at her… “Please you have laughed your arse off. The kid will understand that pain in about eight years.” I watched the kids again. “Do you think #Dela is adjusting to all of this?” I asked her as we walked towards  the place where the magic supposedly happened. “She looks… healthy… maybe a little skinny but that can be fixed over time…” And who knew how skinny she was before she came on board? “But she looks… happy? As happy as you could expect at least, right?”

•— Raven —•

“Hells yeah, I’m not even going to attempt to lie. I would have been rolling on the ground with tears coming out of my eyes…. Only after I asked if you were okay, of course.” Nudging him with my elbow with a cheeky smirk.

My gaze followed his to that beautiful little girl, who has been to hell and back. I saw past her healing scars. Some which she would have for the rest of her life, and some which would wither away with time.

Bearing witness to Singh before us with #Dela hovering around the children playing and teasing #Monty, he noticed her and brought her into the medley of madness.

“She is strong, with a willing to keep fighting. It’s a testament to her standing here today. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. But look at her… She will be fine.”

She was small for her age, or at least that was what #Abby  had said. Then again, we could see all the kids were the same. Some more so than others.

“Harper was saying… she wants to stuff them full before we place them into Cryo. And I get it. It will help them. You know… I wish we could keep them up a little longer…”

•— John —•

I shook my head at her. “Harsh, Reyes. Harsh.” But I knew she would… and she might not even laugh. At least, not until a few hours later. Seeing people in pain wasn’t something she coped with easily. I watched the kids again; the youngest boy who had almost kicked me was  weaving in and out of the crowd of them. I noticed #Harper watching him and #Dela even more closely.

I nodded, I understood where that was coming from. “I get it… I mean….” I dragged my hand through my hair. “When was the last time you saw this many children all together? At least of this age range… there weren’t even that many in the care centre.” I stopped abruptly… it probably wasn't the best time to talk about that… and it wasn’t like I was there for long. “But I do think it’s a good idea to save the rations we have for when we get back  to earth… even if we find good land to start out on… it will take time to get farms producing… If they go to sleep, they don’t need to learn about rationing… or hunger and thirst. It sounds like a good deal… if it wasn’t for the…” I stopped again. I didn’t dare speak negatively of the cryo chambers in case the kids heard.

I knew my anxiety behind them was illogical, but all the same, it was there, and it was real. Raven knew my fears and the other reasons I didn’t want to go to sleep. “Plus, the sooner people go to sleep the less chances  there are of tensions between the clans.”

•— Raven —•

Twice…. As we walked twice, he stopped from saying what he was thinking. Making me question the reason. Looking around, looking between the two of us, and the company we were in. I got it.

This hadn’t been the same as on the island. He wasn’t stopping because he didn’t want to share, it wasn’t the right time. Just like before I told myself he would tell me later. And I believed it too.

‘Rey!’ #Monty’s voice cut in before I could answer or question John anymore. ‘The door is locked. You need to punch the code in.’ Nodding my head, I allowed one last glance at John telling him we’d talk more later before slowly catching up to the others.

“Okay, are we really?” And children with excited and eager. I didn’t know how #Monty and #Harper had done this. I pushed into the code to my  workshop which was the same as my room code. And with a general hiss the doors slide open.

“Welcome to the overachievers workshop.”

#Harper laughed and picked me. ‘Rey, there nothing in here that could injure or kill a kid, right?’

At the question being asked, my mind began to wander around what I had open. “Oh hells. Uhm… give me one….” I was already, hopping, running and skipping to the far side of the room where the industrial cutters were laying out.

•— John —•

I knew how much she hated it when I held stuff back… especially now that we were back on track again. But I wasn't really holding back, there were kids everywhere and #Harper. #Monty now too… I would tell her… but when it was just her and I. I just hoped that she saw that promise in the smile I gave her, I didn’t want her to think there was still a wall between us. I translated for the kids, but they seemed to read Rey’s excitement about where we were heading.

I couldn’t but get excited at how excited she was. Maybe it was a little bit of the  kid's excitement too… maybe. When Harper asked the potential for injury in the room, I turned the kids and told them to wait in Trig then I distracted them when Raven hopped off to retrieve a wicked-looking tool that she’d left out… Shit… she must have been in a lot of pain if she didn’t put that back in its place when she last used it. I told the kids that this was the room where Raven and the other mechanics and engineers fixed things and made sure everything, we needed to make the ship run was working. They didn’t ask many questions… they’re  understanding of Tek was slim to none.

•— Raven —•

I never left things out of place; it was well known by everyone that;

1. They could borrow anything they needed, as long as they returned it.

2. I had a place for every tool. (Reason being if anyone did ask to use something. I could tell them where it was kept without needing to go to it.)

3. I always left my work space ready to go for the next time.

All of which had gone out the ship’s windows with the next to no sleep and working on empty. But now I’d had a good couple of night of sleep, which meant I had begun to feel like myself again.

Hens why this trip to show the children around felt right to do today.

“Okay…” closing the metal cages on the far end of the space I dusted my hands off. “All is safe and sound now. I’m happy for the children to walk around and look over anything.” Pointing to the windows out the back or the work space. “These windows are safe for them to see the stars; we are facing away from earth here.”

Leaning back against the metal cage. Taking some of the weight off my hip and leg, I crossed my arms smiling at them all.

•— John —•

I watched her hobble around the room, something in me ached just knowing she was in pain. The kids started to walk around looking at things but not touching unless they were told it was okay. Which is what I had translated for them. #Monty showed some of the more curious kids the tools and #Harper watched the others who were fascinated with the windows. I pushed over two work stools next to where Raven stood, off to the side.

I knew she wouldn’t like it if I drew attention to her pain, so I sat on one and held the spinning top of the stool steady  for her to sit without worrying about it slipping beneath her. I said nothing about her hurting. I would add that in later with the other things I hadn’t said today. I glanced around making sure the others were distracted.

“Hey.” I said softly. “Why did you axe the trip to  the bridge? It sounded like a great idea… the windows there are even….” I stopped.

She said that the windows here were safe. Shit! “Oh!” My eyes widened. “Damn….” Of course, she thought about that… about the trauma of seeing a whole planet ablaze. “Maybe we call ahead  another day… have them close the curtain.” I offered her a smile.

She’d made the right call; they didn’t need to see any of this. It was another reason they should go into cryo. They didn’t need to grow up here. The earth would heal, it would heal, and we could take them home and let them grow up in the real world not a tin can with water recycling and artificial atmosphere. With real sunlight and not UV therapy. With grass and weather and places to run.

•— Raven —•

I could feel my friend’s eyes on me. Of course, some part of me knew what John Murphy thought, saw, or even felt, when he witnesses to me moving. The boy knew me too well since our time on the island had been spent with #Abby making him my watchman and nurse. This is why I didn’t question or fight the fact he wanted me to sit down beside him.

Relief coursed through my muscles the moment the weight eased from my hip and leg. It had been making my back all tense and sore too.

My hazel eyes dulled with the lack of sleep, glanced all over the room, while John answered his own question.

“They deserve better than the nightmares we all grew up with. They all have family and friends who were left down there. I don’t want them witnessing the place which had been  their home, now becoming a death pyre for those who were left behind.”

Shaking my head, at my stupidity. “I hadn’t I thought the plan through. I should have foreseen it before mentioning it to them.” Rubbing my fingers over the bridge of my nose. “These children deserve a chance to make it out of this thing, without even more scarring.”

•— John —•

I smiled at her, but I knew that she would see the concern in my eyes… she never missed a thing. Even the relief on her face when she sat down wasn’t a comfort to me, all it meant was she’d been hurting… more than I could help with by offering her a seat.

I nodded. “You’re right. They don’t need that at all… But you could talk to Officer Shaw…” I neglected the rank I knew all too well he had. “Plan a day for them to visit and have them close the doors on the window? I still think they would have a good time seeing how things run.”

She was punishing herself again, it was a habit ingrained so deep in her that I didn’t think she would ever cut herself some slack. “All that matters is that you remembered before I had a chance to translate it.”

I watched the kids around the room… Monty was making whirring sounds and playing with a tool that clearly had its powerpack removed (for the safety of the kids, I figured) and handed it the some of the older kids and repeated a word I was pretty meant 𝕕𝕣𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘. I laughed at the kid's confused faces as one of them started tapping a spanner she had been examining the leg of the table… like… well like it was a drum.

“I’m guessing that tool #Monty is showing them has nothing to with drumming… Right?”

•— Raven —•

I saw the way John’s gaze turned upon me. “Oh, stop it.” I rolled my eyes. “Don’t look at me like that.” I also wondered if he had it his way, would the ripper stick me to slow me down? Because he’s done it before, and for some crazy reason now it made me chuckle, even if I wanted to kill him at the time.

But now I was the one watching him. I knew full well what he was doing, however I still couldn’t understand why? What had passed between him and #Miles for this… rivalry?

“𝗟𝗶𝗲𝘂𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗻𝘁…” emphasising, his correct rank.   while knowing full well, John knew this too. “Miles Shaw would be happy to help. I just…. I should have put this plan past him too.” Moving my attention around the room and smiling when I saw #Harper.

“A little foresight and warning, and you’re right. The children would love seeing things from up there. Especially since they are so… engaged down here.” Nodding my head to #Harper and three of the young ones. Sat in the floor in a circle. In the middle lay a greasy engine part.

“They look more impressive by the greasy.” The. I turned my gaze back to John. “Drumming? What the h—” I heard it then, the sound of my tools hitting the leg of the tables, and work benches.  “Monty! What are you teaching them?”

•— John —•

“Stop what?” I asked nonchalantly. “If you want me to stop checking you out you have to stop checking me out first.” I teased her quietly. I just rolled my eyes at her correction. “Yeah, yeah.” I sighed. Then I laughed.

“Yeah, I noticed that… Grounder kids. They love… dirt!” I chuckled. “I remembered them jumping in puddles and digging in mud for no reason, in some of the villages I passed through. And the adults just acted like it was totally normal.”

More kids chimed in with the drumming and #Monty looked up at Raven with a little fear in his  eyes. ‘No idea.’ He admitted. ‘We might need a translator over here.’ He turned his eyes on me, pleading. I laughed and patted Rey’s braced knee once, gently.

“Okay, okay I’m coming.” I laughed, but I was smiling at Raven until I stepped off the stool and made my way to the  looked more confused than ever. “You’re going to have to show them how it works,” I told him, after I got them to stop drumming with #Harper’s help.

•— Raven —•

A scoff and the mother of all eye rolls were his gift. “You wish Watcher.” Waggling my eyebrows and giving a smirk.

Not really say anything else, just making a note to ask him about his travels. How had we not had this conversation? I wanted to see more of the planet we had begun to call home. However, we didn’t have time. Consequently, fighting to live, to survive, and to thrive had consequences. It was all consuming.

Sitting on the stole, speaking to the children who ran past me asking them to be care with a kind smile. My eyes focused on my three friends, watching how taking care of these small souls came so easily to them. Once again, I thought of how much had happened in so little time, how we had failed these young ones. How they wouldn’t play in puddles or in the dirt for years to come.

And my eyes stung.

Turning my face away, to blink those uncontrollably heavy feeling back until I could let them flow when alone. Now wasn’t the time. When my hazel glazed returned to the group, they were all sat on the ground with Monty showing them what to do (other than play the drums!)

•— John —•

I glanced over my shoulder after translating for #Monty. I could see she was lost in thought, but it almost looked like she was about to cry… it made my chest ache. Not in the way it did in the Brig… this was different…

#Monty passed out goggles to the kids closest to him and told us to keep the others back a little, while he drilled a hole into scrap metal to show them how it worked. They were fascinated by the sparks and how the tool whirred. But when I glanced behind me again to check on Rey, I caught sight of the littlest boy (the one that almost kicked me in the family jewels)… hands clamped over his ears but still looking like he wanted to be part of the action. I spotted a pair of ear protectors on a workbench… quickly looked up at Raven again, like she might have vanished in the last ten seconds. I smiled at her before I picked up the yellow headset, mimicked putting it on to show the boy how it worked, and then popped them on his ears. They looked ridiculously large on his tiny head. I chuckled and he whipped his head around at the change in what he could… or rather couldn’t hear.

Then he held his hands up to me, fingers opening and closing…. My brows lowered. I looked around for a little clarification. #Harper caught my gaze and imitated picking him up. I gave her a look over the noise in the room that asked 𝗠𝗲?

#Harper’s brows arched, and she planted one hand on her hip and returned a glare that had me instantly picking up the child and turning back to give Raven an eye roll… This woman was a whole lot tougher than I gave her credit for.

She was watching everything from her place on the stool… After #Monty was finished with the kids, and I was done playing translator I put the boy down. Or... I tried to… he made a keening sound and tucked up his legs, refusing to put them on the ground. “Okay, okay…. Message received.” I chuckled… doubting he understood. He made the same sound  when I tried to take the ear protectors off. When I looked at him it looked like he might fall asleep any minute.

So… keeping hold of him I made my way back to Raven. “Hey… Do you know if they are meant to sleep during the day at this age…” I hefted the boy higher on my  hip. “This one looks about ready for bed.” I want to ask her where her mind had gone just now… touch her… not in a creepy way just to offer comfort. But we add all of that to the growing list for later.

•— Raven —•

With my head back in the here and now, the rollercoaster of emotions had been hard to keep at bay this afternoon. I knew not sleeping well did this with me, it played with my head and heart. However, I’d had a good sleep finally last night, so I had no excuses. Witnessing the events before me I could help but let go of the sadness and embrace the view of #Harper and John.

#Monty had been lost in his little show and tell, but the other two were enough of a sideshow that I found myself chuckling to myself.

Wishing someone sat with me to see it all play out too. And maybe place a bet on if the little kid got the target of Johns Crown Jewels this time or not. But to my surprise, John made a friend?

The kid asked to be lifted, to be held and not to be set back down. What was this world coming to? “Why or how would I know? He looks pretty tired. Maybe we should have kept it to a short trip?”

#Haprer moved closer to us, and I asked her the same question.

‘Yes, the little ones do have a nap in the classroom. We have a few small  mattresses Luna found, and some  blankets, Miles brought us for them.’

She glanced at the youngest of the group. ‘Maybe we should head back. They will need some lunch soon too.’

Nodding my head, I held my hand up for #Monty to notice, making a sign to round it up. “Okay. I guess John is the little people whisperer now. He picked up on their needs.” Giving him a smile of gratitude.

•— John —•

Raven saw everything, I named her Stargazer because she was a dreamer and because the first time, we made a truly deep connection I caught her literally looking up at the stars. Then she told me the stories of the constellations. She was watching everything, and I hated that sometimes her pain kept her on the edge of things. I tried not to let it happen, but this was another moment that I had dropped the ball.

I nodded when she mentioned short trips. “Yeah… I guess with the kids being such a range of ages we need to think more about the little ones. I mean like Harper’s idea of teaching them numbers to use the lift.” I tipped my chin to the kid almost nodding off on my shoulder. “It's not like this kid will be riding elevators on his own anytime soon, you know? it might be a better use of time to focus on teaching  it to the kids who need it.”

I held back the eye roll at the mention of him… but it was cool that he thought of the kids. I laughed but tried to soften it a little in case I provoked the wrath of the crotch-kicker on my hip. Like it was on cue the kid yawned a huge, face-stretching yawn. “Mean it’s not rocket science when you read the signs.” I bragged. “Should we round them all up or just take the little ones back?”

•— Raven —•

‘Ah… You’re under selling your skills again John Murphy.’ #Harper teased him at not being a rock scientist.

Then he asked another good question. “Uhm… Harper?” Taking my lead from her as she knew these kids better than we did.

‘Oh… I’m not sure it’s a good idea to split  the kids up. The little ones have grown accustomed to being around the older ones. And the older kids don’t really let the young ones out of their sight.’

The thought warmed me and saddened me at the same time. “Talk about having to grow up too fast... they are protector  when they should be children themselves.” But I got it. Wasn’t it the same for us too?

‘So, what’s the plan guys?’ #Monty walked over to ask.

My hazel eyes moved over the room, and all the faces. “I guess we are all heading back for a nap? Unless Harper do you want me to go grab the lunches? I’m happy to do it so you have some down time too?”

It felt right to offer, I’d been sat here on a stool while they did all the hard work.

‘Are you sure you don’t mind, or have any else to do?’ She asked. I had a tone of things to do. “I’m hiding out, seeing how long it takes the others to come find me. So, all of your head back. I’ll go pick up the food.”

•— John —•

I laughed at #Harper. “Yeah well, kids are crappy judges of character.” I was sure if these little people had any clue of the things I had done, they would be terrified of me. I thought about what Harper said and looked around… these kids were all from different clans… I  would have to remember to look at the list of minors and see who was from which clan. “Even the kids from different clans?” I asked.

‘Kids don’t see clan allegiance; they just see new friends. Especially after… everything.’ She cleared her throat and brushed the hair away from the little boy's eyes.

I had to say I agreed with Raven… “It wasn’t any different on the Ark. How old were all of you when you were selected for your apprenticeships?” I looked from #Monty to #Harper to #Raven… “Fourteen? Younger? You made it to Zero-G at eighteen.” I said to Raven. I, on the other hand… they planned to assign to maintenance or janitorial or something else suitably useless. “Maybe in a few decades, kids can be kids again.”

I grinned at Raven. “Wait….” I gave her a shocked look. “You tricked me into turning your day off  into a field trip! I feel so used Raven Reyes!” I had to tone down my usual theatrics due to the sleeping crotch kicker… but my smirk said it all. Then on a serious note. “Maybe someone should go with you?” I glanced around. I would have volunteered… but for some reason, I thought that would be…. I had no idea… we had been together all day. I was hard to be around on a good day.

“One person can carry the rations… but the water too? And today is nutrition packs for the minors too.” I had made the schedule based on the nutritional needs Abby  laid out for the kids and adults… those with injuries. It gave me a headache just thinking about it.

‘I can go with her… can you get them back with just too?’ #Monty asked.

I looked at the kids and asked in Trig. “Who’s ready for another ride in the elevator?” None of  them seemed to show signs of fear this time.

•— Raven —•

It was such a tender touch, the way #Harper moved the hair out of the boys eyes. Once again, I had to remind myself how things could have been different for us all of our life’s had taken an unexpected turn.

Of If I hadn’t messed up, if we had stopped the nuclear meltdown, if the stars were set on destroying everything we were trying to save?

I had to tell myself to stop… I knew where these dark thoughts took me… and it wasn’t anywhere good. Positive energy, one foot in front of the other… and small wins!

“Who? Me?” Giving John a shocked face with a hand over my heart. “I don’t know what you mean. I would never.” Winking at the children even if they understand the conspiracy I was bringing them into.

I was going to describe in detail the plan I had about accosting a trolly to bring everything back. But #Monty was always good company.

“Thanks Green, I’m going to accept your offer to help. So, shall we?” Realising, actually I hadn’t gotten up from the stool.

Not sure what #Harper saw in my face, but she began gathering the kids who John had excited with another ride in the elevator. Taking the attention off me, so that I could slowly stand myself up.

Hiding the shooting pain, making me freeze for a breath or two. And then I was on the move.

•— John —•

That little spark of mischief played in those hazel eyes, the ring of gold flashing for a moment when she gave me her cheek. I saw it dim and sputter out when she stood up. Then I was suddenly hit with all the flaws in this plan. Would #Monty recognises her pain? Would he slow down and take it at a speed not so slow that she’d know what was happening, but slow enough that she had time to breathe through the hurt? Would he ask her about it? No one who was in pain wanted to be constantly reminded of every detail of those pains and draw attention to it, bringing it into sharp relief in the forefront of their mind. Would he know to just stop for a moment if she needed to and let her catch her breath before offering to help her when she was more than capable of helping herself?

‘You coming, Murphy?’ It was #Harper, I realised she was at the door with the kids, two little ones still milling around my feet.

“Right behind you,” I told her. “Just making sure we don’t have any stragglers.” She nodded and started to lead the kids. I focused my attention… or my eyes at least on the kids, this  wasn’t a place to leave a child behind, there were airlocks and tools everywhere.

#Harper began counting heads as they filed into the lift giddy and excited, and a few sleepy yet fascinated faces. Plus, the little one that was out cold on my shoulder. #Raven was gone from my  eyeline now. I stepped inside and exhaled. She was fine. She was a grown woman, and she did not need my meddling at all.

I knew this… But it still didn’t help.

‘She’s okay, isn’t she?’ #Harper asked as the doors slid closed.

“Raven?” I asked… Blinking. “Of course.”

#Harper’s reply was a look; pinched brows and a stern expression. It suited her… this mother hen look. “She is… she’s just… working too much… but I’m working on that…” I was trying to. But between my shifts in the mess and the therapy sessions with Jackson, I hardly knew where to find her half of the time.

‘And you? Are you okay?’ She asked next. Now I was really confused.

“Yeah… sure…” Then I remembered, she was there… in the brig. “I’m fine… better. I have Raven, #Luna and #Emori. I’ll be fine.”

‘You have the 100, John… any of us that are left.’ Harper said and the doors pinged. We ushered the kids out and I rolled my eyes. #Harper looked hurt at that.

“Sorry, that wasn’t aimed at you. But we both know that’s not totally true.” I explained.

‘What’s not true?’ I audibly groaned as #OfficerShaw stepped into the corridor. #Harper beamed though and so did a few of the kids. I fought back yet another eye roll.

•— Raven —•

Walking down the corridor I knew what I needed to do. It’s all about mind over matter. Or at least what #Sinclair told me. ‘You can do anything you put your mind to Miss Reyes. Don’t you ever forget it.’

My lips curled up into a soft smile, heading his voice in my head wasn’t  the same at on #Becca’s Island, but I had a good memory of it still. Even if it felt a little fogged.

‘What are you thinking about?’ #Monty asked from beside me. He walked step to step, like a perfect mirror of my actions.

“Something Sinclair used to say to me.” This made his heart turn, but her didn’t speak. Waiting to see if there were memories, I was willing to share. “He used to tell me I could do anything I put my mind too. That the only people or person to get in my way... was me.”

#Monty chuckled but still didn’t speak. “I’m starting to think the man had a point.” I said as we moved to the side, some of the guys from camp and some grounders were working together, carrying cleaning supplies and equipment.

‘I may not know it all, but I knew better than to disagree with what Sinclair said. So, yeah...’ He nudged his shoulder into mine chuckling again.

“Careful, Green. I may get myself a big head or something.” This earned an eye roll.

‘It’s not easy, Rey. What we are all trying to do up here. But the fact that so many people are here and breathing….  What is it you used to say…. Small wins? Yeah. Small wins. We will take them until they build up into something substantial.’

This time I moved closer to him. My friend warmed my heart.

‘Now… are you going to tell me how he is?’ The boy didn’t miss a beat while opening  the doors to the mess room.

“Who? John?” Arching my eyebrow.

‘No, Bellamy… you picked John.’ That mischievous look was back making the both of us laugh together.

“Funny… so bloody funny! But he is getting there. It’s going to be fine. He isn’t alone.” This time I truly believe what I said. John wasn’t alone. He had people he cared about. And maybe had someone special who will help keep his demons in check, even if he still hasn’t told me about them.

‘Come on, Rey. Let’s get those children feed.’ Leaving me standing in the middle of bustling mess, he rushed to find a trolly we could use.

•— John —•

We were so close. Two minutes earlier and we would have missed him. “It’s not true that your ears are your worst feature… Officer. Personally, I think they are adorable. #Harper disagrees.”

I watched his jaw tick like he was biting the inside of his cheek; I felt a swell of  pride. ‘You are so lucky you have a baby in your arms or I would smack you, John Murphy.’ Harper whispered as she passed me by and spoke normally. ‘Want to help us wrangle this gang back to the classroom?’

‘Sure thing.’ He smiled. ‘I have some time.’ He tried to take the  hand of the kid closest to me, but she looked up at me and I said without even twitching a finger. “En’s ku… Teik ai meika.” (It’s okay. Take my hand.) The little girl reached out and took my free hand. #Shaw bristled.

#Harper rolled her eyes and started to head down the  hall calling to the kids to follow. “Hos of, yongons.” (Move along, kids.) The stragglers started to move and Shaw did seem to making sure none of them wandered.

‘It’s a good look on you Murphy… maybe you’ll make a good mommy someday.’ Shaw smirked like he just landed a killer insult.

“Wow, gender base insults.” I laughed. Fuck! This kid was getting heavier by the second. There was no way I would show any hint of weakness around him. “You’re about a century too late… we wiped out that toxic bullshit a few years after the missiles  launched.”

‘Foul language in front of the little ones?’ Shaw acted horrified.

“They don’t speak English in case you haven’t noticed. Only the warriors learned English on the ground.” I said like this was common knowledge he should know.

‘So, I’d heard… why is that  exactly?’ He asked and I smirked.

“Because the people that lived in an American military base kidnapped their soldiers, turned them into drug dependant cannibals and fed their addiction when they brought them live grounders that they kept in cages and used their blood as  medicine.” It was true… and also a nice dig at the country he’d decided to fight for.

His face twisted up as he processed the information. “See that girl up there…” I waited until #Harper was far enough ahead. “The descendants of your government locked her in a cage so  small she had to curl into a ball… drilled into her and drained her bone marrow until she almost died. Then they strapped Raven to the same table and tried to do the same thing.”

‘Was that before or after you shot her?’ He looked at me smugly.

Bellamy fucking Blake! That man had no idea when to shut the hell up. “Ask Raven.” Was all I said back. Rey and I were long past that… even if I still refused to talk to #Jackson about it. It would not go down well if he confronted her about it.

He laughed and stroked his chin. He knew that was a bad  move. ‘Any particular reason you’re suddenly interested in these kids?’

“Oh, you mean the kids whose burns I treated and vomit bags I held when they came on board? Whose entire meal plan and nutrition requirements I calculated and prepare rations for every single day on this boat? Yeah… pretty unexpected that I took an interest…” I rolled my eyes. “Or maybe it’s because I’m one of about ten people from the Ark that bother to learn their language. Pick which one you like best.”

Finally, the double doors to the schoolroom appeared before us. And we went inside. #Harper pointed me to the cots and I lay the sleeping toddler down, easing his tiny arms from around my neck as Harper tucked a blanket around him. ‘You need to stop antagonising that man.’ She whispered to me. ‘Raven trusts him, we need to trust him too.’

“Oh I trust him,” I said and she looked bewildered. “I trust him to keep this boat in orbit and the life support running.... but I don’t trust him with these people.” I tipped my chin towards the kid. “This was a prison ship.. and none of the prisoners survived? Isn’t that a  little convenient? We were prisoners too Harper… I’ve seen those cells. They wore shock collars… Do you really think they couldn’t have subdued any of them? Isn’t it weird that only half a dozen crewmates survived? If anything goes wrong up here the grounders will be the first to go. Or worse.”

‘Worse?’ she asked, her brow knitting in confusion.

“They still have the collars on board.” Her face dropped and she shook her head.

‘Please don’t do anything stupid, John. Raven needs you.’ It sounded like she was pleading. But Raven didn’t need anyone, not really. ‘Let me talk to #Clarke about this before you do anything, please?’

I blinked. “You believe me? Just like that…. Without proof?” She kissed my cheek quickly and smiled.

‘Just like that, John.’ And she shuffled off to the next kid, leaving me crouched by the little one. I looked over my shoulder and #Shaw was managing to get the little kids to lie down. I… fucking… hate… that guy.

•— Raven —•

‘Raven Reyes!’ The voice came from behind as #Monty and I loaded the last of the food ration assigned to the children for midday.

‘Busted!’ He chuckled looking over his shoulder to the person who owned the voice.

‘People have been looking all over this ship for you. Where have you been?’ #Clarke came to stand right beside me now. Her arms crossed over the chest, sending out the subliminal message that she was not to be fucked with.

“I couldn’t be hiding so well. Look you found me.” Saying it while struggling a little with the box of water.

‘It’s not a joke Rey. We need you. We need to make sure the council understands every step of the process. That are all so close. I can feel it.’

She was frowning at Monty.

‘Shouldn’t you be working on the plan on what to do when this all runs out?’ She pointed to the trolly.

“Back off Griff. He has been working damn hard. And he hasn’t stopped. Right now, he is helping Harper with feeding the children of the council. So… just bad off.” She looked out of sorts, and I didn’t care. I was fine with her telling me I was slacking. But she wasn’t going to say it to anyone else.

‘I�� I’m sorry… it’s just a lot riding on this.’ She frowned looking away.

“Yeah, we know. It was kind of our minds coming up with the lists of everything we needed to do.”

#Monty placed a hand on my forearm, telling me to stop. ‘As soon as we deliver this food, I will get back to work on the algae farm. I’ve begun to find a way I think will make the most sense in a short period.’ The boy was super intelligent and if anyone could, it would be him.

I couldn’t help the pride I felt for my friend right now, as he went into great detail on how far the process had come. I knew what he was doing. Taking Clarke’s attention and anger off me.

•— John —•

#Harper’s easy acceptance of what I told her was still not sitting right in my mind… I couldn’t stop my inner monologue running through what her intentions might be. Was she going to use this against me? Would she tell the crew that I knew they had the collars? Would she think  I was crazy?

I knew what Raven would say. She would tell me to trust my family, my friends… but fuck! That really wasn’t easy. Harper was trying to settle a fussy child, singing to her and trying to keep the older kids quiet. They were clearly too old for naps and none of  them appeared to need one. I searched the room and found a tablet.

“I got the older ones, Harper. Try to get her to sleep.” I took the older kids to the other end of the room and gathered them up in a circle sitting on the floor. I pulled up a blank document on the  tablet.

Ꮻ ʜᴀʀᴘᴇʀ ᴍᴄɪɴᴛʏʀᴇ ᴘᴏᴠ Ꮻ

I held the little girl draped across my lap… it was the only way she’d sleep and now I was afraid to move because she never slept well… I think she had bad dreams. I had let my humming fade out after her eyes closed. Now I was  watching John… speaking Trig to these kids like he had used it all his life… #Shaw was watching him too from the other side of the room. He caught my eye when I looked over and then came to stand next to me.

‘What is he saying to them?’ He asked me.

“I don’t know word for word. But he is teaching them to count in English and what each number looks like.” I replied, catching as many words as I could.

‘Why?’ He asked, brow furrowed.

“I think it's so they can use the elevators on their own if they ever need to, or get lost,” I told him without  thinking about whether or not I should answer the question.

‘Is that a good idea?’ #Miles asked, and there it was… I should have thought before I spoke. ‘What if they go back to their parents and teach them?’

I shifted to a little to face him and said matter-of-factly. “Then their parents will be able to move more freely around the ship.” My tone made it very clear that this was a good thing.

‘Oh yeah sure… I just meant that… they don’t understand life on a ship… We don’t want anyone accidentally stepping out into space.’ He replied  quickly.

•— Raven —•

〄 ᴍᴇᴀɴᴡʜɪʟᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱʜɪᴘ��ꜱ ᴍᴇꜱꜱ

‘Rey, are you going to come and join the meeting? They need to see you there.’ #Clarke looks frustrated.

“Grif, I’m not a team mascot. If you need me there to explain what I am doing, or how things are working. Fine. But I’m not going to stand there just to make people feel comfortable. My time can be better spent.’

#Monty had stepped away to give the two of us room to speak. And some part of me thought I would have loved to walk away too.

‘You, know you are much more than a mascot. I don’t know…’ she rubbed her hand over her tired face.

“When was the last time you sat down, ate something, slept?’ Placing my hand on her shoulder. “Today I’m learning to stop and look around. To enjoy the sad wins we have.” Our eyes moved over the people in the  Mess with us. “All these people, they need to see us, to trust us. To understand we are here working to make sure their safety and security is what we are all working towards.”

Her shoulders sagged, but the fact that she wasn’t dragging me or herself out of here, it meant  she saw where I was coming from. ‘I guess…’ she began. ‘You have a point.’

I knew I shouldn’t joke. “Can I have it in writing?” She nudged me smiling.

‘Go, feed the masses. Do your thing. You’re working ten steps ahead of me.’ My smirk was all the answer she wanted.  But she pushed me playfully. ‘Shut up! And Go!’

•— John —•

〄 ʙᴀᴄᴋ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʟᴀꜱꜱʀᴏᴏᴍ

The kids seemed to get one to five down quickly, but I could see frustration starting to creep in. So I put away the tablet and started to ask them their names and tribes… they started to ask me about being born in space… that was harder.

On the ground, I never had much cause to talk about being Skaikru in their language since I spent most of my time trying to hide that fact.. other than from #Emori. It was impossible to translate words like 𝕆𝕣𝕓𝕚𝕥, 𝔾𝕣𝕒𝕧𝕚𝕥𝕪 and 𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕥𝕚𝕔 𝕖𝕟𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘.

Plus trying to navigate the conversation around the fact that I was locked up for attempted murder, arson, burning two days' worth of breathable air and potentially endangering every life on the Ark just by lighting one fire…. Well yeah. That was difficult too.

The eldest two kids had asked me why they hadn’t been given a job… they were probably only eleven… but clearly, they were used to contributing. So I approached #Harper, letting the kids just hang out and relax. She still had a sleeping child on her lap. ‘That was amazing John…’ She smiled. ‘Who knew you would be the teaching kind?’

I laughed. “If #Pike could see me now right?” #Harper winced. She was there the day he attacked me in our Earth Skills class. “I just speak their language is all.”

‘You do… and not just  literally… you understand them. They can tell and they respond to that.’ She smiled again and I shuffled uncomfortably. Having people not hate me was a strange sensation.

“Speaking of understanding… the eldest kids… they were asking about having a job… helping out? I  think they are used to helping out at home.” There was no such thing as laziness on the ground, everyone spent their days surviving… working, and making sure they had what they needed to survive the winter or the dry season.

‘Oh… um… I suppose I could have them help out a little more with the kids… but I don’t think there's a lot they would be able to do. If they were off in the ship they would need to be supervised and that would take someone else away from a job…’ She was rambling now, thinking out loud… “You know who would be best to help with that?… #Luna. When she’s back we’ll talk to her about it.’

She was right, #Luna had everyone on the Oil Rig pitching in and that wasn’t much safer than this ship for little kids. She had to have ideas for safe ways for them to contribute. “Yeah… you’re right. I’d  bet she would think of something.”

‘Are you really thinking about putting kids to work?’ I hadn’t paid attention to #Shaw’s presence.

“We aren’t talking about slave labour here. We’re talking about letting them feel useful. These kids aren’t used to being idle. They are tending crops and raising farm animals from the time they can walk…” I left out the part about training to be soldiers from before puberty. “They just want to contribute.”

•— Raven —•

The doors slide open to #Monty and I seeing #Harper, #Miles, and John huddled to the far side of the classroom. Some kids sleeping and the olders one’s relaxing and speaking in hushed tones.

‘That doesn’t look good.’ #Monty uttered.

“What doesn’t?” I asked curiously as I saw nothing wrong with the sight before us.

‘John and Shaw. In the same room as children. They could kick off at any moment.’ Something passed in his mind because his body language changed.

‘Raven. There you are.’ A bright smile and a salute came from across the room.

“Hey Miles. I wasn’t expecting you to be down here. I’m sure the kids are loving the attention.” We pulled the trolley into the classroom and let the doors close behind us.

‘You know I’m always up for showing my support.’ He came over to take my side of the trolley. ‘Let me help with this.’

My hazel eyes settled on #Harper and John. And the small one fast asleep on her lap.  Smiling at the two of them before the older children we up on their feet making their way across.

‘Who’s going to tell them to list up?’ Miles asked. Pulling my attention back to him

“Mi….” Before I could even say his name, #Monty replied frowning.

‘No one.’ #Monty replied. ‘They are kids, not prisoners. They can help themselves to anything they want from here. Because they know how to take care of rationing food.’

Before his sentence was over, I saw how the oldest looking of the kids stepped up. One handing the younger ones their fair share of food and water. Before even thinking of serving themselves.

‘See…’ #Monty said looking proud of them. The girl took food and water over for Harper, the baby, and John too.

•— John —•

I rolled my eyes at the salute… didn’t anyone tell him America was over? I scoffed when he asked who was going to tell the kids to line up for rations. It had been ten minutes since we talked about the fact that I was one of the few people from the Ark who spoke their  language.

I smirked and turned my attention to the child and #Harper’s lap to try and hide the grin when #Monty called him out. ‘John Murphy, you wipe that smirk off your face.’ #Harper whispered; she leaned in close. ‘Raven is allowed to make new friends. Don’t be jealous…  it can’t compare to what you did for her.’

I inhaled deeply. “Raven might be blind to it… but we all know it's not friendship he wants.” I whispered back.

‘All that matters is what our Rey wants, she will only do what she wants to do.’ #Harper replied and I flicked my eye to the side watching the kids help themselves to their fair share and passing the packet to the young ones that were awake. Saving some for the little ones still sleeping. I smiled at the little girl and took the rations from her. “Mochof.” (Thank you.) I told her.

‘How long are you going to wait, John?’ She asked and I was stunned. I busied myself opening her rations and giving them to her because she only had one free hand. Was I that transparent?

“As long as she needs me too,” I whispered, not able to look at her now. But I saw her roll her eyes in my peripheral vision.

‘You don’t get to decide what she needs, John… this isn’t the same thing as her working herself into an early grave.’ Even though she was clearly calling me out… her words were kind, like she was giving me advice, maybe even encouragement…  instead of telling me off.

I looked her in the eyes now. “I can’t lose her.”

•— Raven —•

‘I .. Uhm… I fucked up again. Didn’t I?’ #Miles stepped into me to whisper in my ear. However, I couldn’t pull my eyes away from the packet in my hands. ‘I’m sorry Raven. This is all new to me.’ And I knew it was.

“Yeah… Miles... you did… but at least you know you did. That’s a start.” I half smiled. Hearing a scoffing sound coming from #Monty’s direction before he went to join #Harper and John.

‘I’m trying. It’s not easy thinking the way you do. You are so trustful and open… I’m... well… I’m messed up.’ I knew what #Miles was going through. We’re had a number of night time conversations when he’d wake up from nightmares and knock on my door.

I smiled and nudged him with my elbow. “I am far from perfect. Just like to think we need to survive together, without the trauma every single one of  us has lived through. You, me, and everyone else on this ship. Each step we take has to be with humanity in mind. Not a power trip or thinking less about anyone else. You know what I mean?”

He nodded his head, giving me a hug and whispering in my ear again. ‘I want to be Raven Reyes when I grow up.’ This made me laugh, patting his back and hugging him too.

“Keep with me kid, and I’ll show you how it’s done.” Stepping back to look up at him. Placing a hand on his cheek. “Just show them the side of you, I’ve seen. Your kind, bull headed, but this...” My hand moved to his chest and heart. “This is what matters, when every person around you is fearful and lost.”

Looking over his shoulder I saw John speaking with Harper, it made me smile. He too once told me no one would love him and now look at him. He had a family. Even if he didn’t recognise it yet.

•— John —•

Now I had sunk so deep into those feelings, I thought I had done a good job of keeping to myself today. I was a good friend today, wasn’t I? Helped her with her pain when I could and kept her company… even if I wasn’t so successful at having her take a break… walking the ship with the kids was far less difficult and physically taxing than her day job… and now here I was grasping at those mental threads, trying to stuff them deep down again.

Would it ever get easier?

I wasn’t sure I wanted it to… on one hand this hurt… on the other… it  was a reminder that I was capable of feeling. If it got easier… if I forgot… Would I turn back into the version of John Murphy she hated?

Just so I had a reason to not watch the exchange between Rey and #Shaw I ate my ration, even if it was the last thing I wanted to do.

But then he hugged her and the movement in my peripheral vision was too much to ignore. My gaze flickered up… I couldn’t see this… I couldn’t look away.

I needed to see this. I needed to know that she had far better prospects than me. Even if it was this douchebag… He was  making her smile… making her laugh. She touched his face and the crack in my chest was what I needed to look away, back at #Harper. I forced a smile that failed to wipe the pity from her eyes. Great! I was pitiful again.

‘John, it doesn’t mean…’ She started to tell me that what I saw meant nothing. But nothing Raven did ever meant nothing. Time was too precious to her. Everything she did was about making things better.

“It’s fine… I’m fine.” I lied. I hadn’t promised #McIntyre I wouldn’t lie to her. “All that matters is that she’s happy, that’s all I need.” Another lie, this one stung me. I looked around the room at the sleeping kids, the older ones eating or helping the little ones that had woken open the little silver packets.

“Do… um…” I cleared my throat, there was a lump there that the words got stuck on. “Do you still need me here? You have soldier boy now and I should go check on the canteen… my grounder assistants still struggle with the tablets to record the rations that were collected.” Truth. Sort of… They would manage… but still, the half-truth eased the guilt a  little. Raven really was rubbing off on me if these little lies were weighing on me.

‘Um…’ Harper looked around and swallowed thickly. ‘John, you don’t…’ she seemed to think about what she was about to say. ‘We’ll be fine. You should do what you need to do.’

I didn’t give any other explanation as I made my way to the door as subtly as possible. Until the eldest child in the room called out. ‘Seda, yu gon raun?’ (Teacher, you’re leaving?) I wasn’t sure what stopped me. The fact he’d announce my departure to the room or the fact he called me Seda. It was not a word the grounders used carelessly.

•— Raven —•

#Miles handed me a chunk from his now opened sliver packet, holding it out to me with a smile. Of course I didn’t need help to open my rations. But it was the gesture in the moment, an olive branch as they called it on earth in his days. So, I went with it. Showing him that just because a mistake is made didn’t mean the end of a friendship.

We all did it from time to time, making mistakes, saying things we didn’t mean, or just having a bad day. It didn’t mean doors were closed on you forever. The room had been divided into three sections, each of which was busy with those around them.

 #Monty, spoke in hushed tones with a boy showing him how to open the rations in a clean way. And once again when my eyes went to #Harper and John, they were speaking to each other still.

Wanting to give John space, to build his relationship with the others, I went to sit down beside some of the children on our side of the room.

We needed to give all of them the same amount of attention no matter their age. (Or at least that was my belief.)

#Miles of course, joined me, giving us an opportunity to introduce him to them. We needed to keep trying to build some trust between the young ones. They were told to fear people who dressed like us, and as grown-ups it was our responsibility to break those walls down.

#Miles’s eyes widened with shock when he heard my broken trig. ‘I didn’t know you spoke their language too.’ He asked.

“You know it’s the same language as we speak, just with the evolution of over a hundred years.” This made him smile.

‘Are you going to teach me some too?’ he asked with an elbow to my side.

Parting my lips to answer, I stopped, seeing another opportunity to build something lost. “You know who taught me?” Nodding my head to the other side of the room to where John was. “John Murphy. He has a talent for picking up speech.”

I swear I saw something in #Miles’s eyes before he shook his head. ‘Guess I’ll be using sign language with the kids for a while.’

Everyone stopped speaking at the same time, with all our heads turned to  the door and John. He looked lost, caught out, as though he stopped from doing something he shouldn’t be. But more so. It’s what I saw in those baby blue eyes of his.

No one spoke for a moment, he didn’t answer the child, and it began to feel awkward. “Bilaik seda, na na bakon.” (Your teacher will be back.) I told the child waving them over to where we were sitting. “Kom op, bilaik dina ste hir.” (Come here, your lunch is waiting.) Beckoning them over.

They glanced back to John and then to me, ultimately choosing  to take a seat beside #Miles. I gave them what was left in my packet, telling them to eat it and share it with their friends if they were full, and then stood up.

Smiling at all those who had allowed me to join them for lunch. I told #Miles, I’d find him later. His eyes moved to the door, and he nodded his head in understanding before I turned and walked slowly towards John.

When I stood facing him, I smiled tilting my head to the side. My hazel eyes locked onto him. “You weren’t leaving without me, were you? No… It couldn’t be…” Pushing the button on the wall to open the door I asked.

“Where to next, Watcher?”

•— John —•

I said nothing… I had no idea what I should say… Seda? No… I couldn’t the grounders would not like their children talking to Skiakru like that. Then Raven spoke instead. That was when I noticed the kid was looking confused.

But… Raven… she crossed the room to me. “Oh…” I smiled. Those glinting hazel eyes instantly switched my rapid heartbeat from frantic to… whatever the hell this was. I didn’t care because it was infinitely better. “Um…” Honesty. Raven respected honesty. “Well I was going to go check on the guys in the canteen… but…” I stopped how could I turn this around? “It's my day off… and since I’m trying to set a good example for a certain workaholic, I should probably rethink that plan.”

I looked around the room quickly #Harper was murmuring to the kid on her lap as she stirred awake. Captain  Whatever and #Monty was talking to the kids. And Raven… She wanted to stay with me. It did funny things to my insides.

“Wait… does this mean that I’m the workaholic now and you’re the slacker?” I teased her. “Maybe you should pick what we do next instead. How does the great Raven Reyes relax?” Then I stopped. “If there’s math I’m out!”

•— Raven —•

Of course, he got the mother of all eye rolls. “Like I would try’s you with my math.”

Taking his hand, I pulled him out of the room letting the doors slide close. “We don’t want to let the young ones out, or wake those still sleeping.”

This was better, the darkness in his eyes had lifted,  it had only taken a few moments. I wasn’t sure what had caused it to occur in the first place. However, the fact that he didn’t allow himself to spiral into the depth of darkness for too long, meant he was trying to get himself better.

“You didn’t tell me it was your day off; I wouldn’t have dragged you around the ship if I knew.” Or had he and I forgot?

Nudging him with my shoulder. “I’m a quick learner. You’d be proud to hear, I even dodged Griffins attempts to get my arse into the council meeting to go over the same questions for the millionth time again.”

Glancing up and down the corridor, I was lost. “I really don’t know what we should be doing. Maybe I should walk you back to your room, and then get my arse back to work.” A Guilty feeling began to emerge from using his free day, which we didn’t have many off.

•— John —•

I let her pull me out into the hall and remember her taking my hand before she fell asleep. “I haven’t had many but the ones I have had I spend wandering the ship anyway… This is a strange place… I figured the best way to get comfortable here was to know my way around.” Then I quirked a brow… “What did you think when lunchtime rolled around, and I didn’t run off to the mess?” I chuckled. “Losing your edge there, Reyes.” I teased her.

I raised my bros in shock at her turning #Griffin down. “Wow! Really? I’m so proud!” Then I thought about it “Isn’t that more the Docs forte anyway… the effects of cryo on the human body and blah, blah, blah.”

“”Shh!!” I pressed one finger to her lips… mushing them into a funny shape and laughing. “No work talk… days off are to be spent with friends… so…. Come on! What’s next?” I smiled… I felt… lighter… and it was so easy. It was always easier near her.

I started walking down the hallway, it was selfish… but I didn’t want #Shaw to decide to tag along. Even if I was certain he had a way to find whoever he wanted on this ship if he really  wanted to.

“Come on, Rey… you have to know all of the best spots to have fun around here.”

•— Raven —•

“Okay fine, it’s a good question. But in my defence. I wasn’t looking around much in the mess. If I had stopped to think. I’m sure I’d have worked it out.” I hoped to myself at least. But his chuckling sound was worth the brain fart moment.

I was smiling too, nodding my head  and laughing a little when I spoke.

“I didn’t think she would let me off the hook so easily, but she gave in when I gave her my ‘don’t make me boom you, Griff’ voice” I didn’t. Or at least I don’t think I did. But it was worth a little elaboration. Sighing and nodding my head as I began to speak, but….

My face felt mushed, and my lips… his finger was on it! I was going to bite it, or lick it, or…. Well… I stopped my mouth from doing something awkward and laughed instead.

Following John down the corridor  wasn’t difficult, I’d been the one to pull him out, and inserted myself into his day.

“Anyway….” Pushing my hands into the pockets of my jumpsuit, catching up to his stride for now. “That’s my point… with Abby and the council meetings. I’m the ‘doer’ not the brains behind the how and what if. Sure I can’t talk about the details of the machine but do they need to know it? The worries I would have if I were them…. Is it safe, has it been tested, will our families be safe. The science… you know?”

I knew I was on a tangent. Sighing again I stopped looking at the back of John. Recalling one of his concerns about the ship.

 “I don’t know this ship like the back of my hand. So… want to go explore with me?” Watching him for his reaction.

•— John —•

I chuckled and smiled at her. “Nah... it’s a good sign… it means you were enjoying your time with the kids.”

I kept my pace slow; she was already hurting, and I didn’t want to make it any worse. “First of all; you are always the brains… but second… can’t you just trot out the screws and tell the people they were in the chambers for almost one hundred years? And they've been in and out of them a few times, right? On the way out to their mission and again on the way back. Show the living, breathing, walking, and talking results of the chamber.”

She stopped and I kept going a few steps... thinking she was hurting… but she always caught up… I knew she hated it when people slowed down for her. But when she asked her question, I turned with a grin.

“Now you're speaking my language, Rey!” Then I tilted my head and took a step in her direction. “I wanna add one thing though! Remember that bet we made… I still have ten questions. I want to ask one today.”

•— Raven —•

My brow furrowed considerably, John always seemed to act as though he didn’t understand or care about the situations around us. However, he had changed. Taking comments and actions into consideration, and even giving his opinion on the matter too. Part of me thought I’d lost this side of John. That I wouldn’t see it in a long while as he readjusted to our new life, but more so the people.

I stood pleasantly surprised and proudly proven wrong. “The council have met Miles, Lizzy. The others weren’t up to the  challenges to discuss their time in the pods and tell you the truth I don’t blame them. Waking up to so much change and losing all that time.”

I empathised with the others who woke up. I started to catch up to John, nudging him with my elbow.

“There you go, trying to weasel your way in by being charming. But… also factual. I am the brains.” Laughing until he reminded me of his win.

“I’m not going to lie. I forgot about it.” My hazel eyes turned their attention on him, trying to gauge the severity of  these questions. “But it’s only fair. We agreed to ten questions. So… you have ten questions.”

Gesturing for him to continue walking towards the elevators. We’d need to pick a level we hadn’t seen previously.

•— John —•

I couldn’t lie… I hadn’t really thought about that… that they’d woken up in an entirely different world. But then again they had accepted a mission that had them in cryo. “Isn't that kinda what they signed up for, though?” I asked, genuinely… “Obviously not the apocalypse…  how long was the mission meant to be originally… Twenty-five… fifty years? No one could be sure what you could come home to after that long.”

Sure, It was still a shock… but the planet was in a major climate crisis… there were wars everywhere. Did they really expect to  return to the exact same world? Had they lost any more than the first generation of Arkadians? But one thing was for sure. Being born in space… seemed like a better option to me. Considering everything I went through… that is saying something. At the Ark was always the Ark... Well, until it wasn’t.

I stepped into the lift with her and smiled. “So… where have you not been so far?” I asked her, figuring she'd probably seen more of the ship than me… with the repairs she’d have carried out. “Let’s go exploring somewhere neither of us has been yet,” I mentioned nothing about the question I was going to ask… I would find a moment later. As long as she didn’t pick the prison floor… I had zero desire to go back there, and I honestly didn’t want Raven to see it… even if the chances were she already had.

•— Raven —•

“I don’t know John.” I began walking down the corridor again towards the elevators. I had some insight into the minds of the crew through #Miles, but would it be breaking of his trust to bring it up? “The only way I can say I understand it, even when you know you make a choice to do the work and job they did. They knew their friends, families, people they knew were living a life, growing old, dying with a full life.”

Pushing my hair back over my shoulder, recalling the  loss I had felt in my life. “But to wake up, find out they are all gone, and why? Knowing there is no one on the planet you called home, who was even related to them? It’s a lot.”

Coming to a stop before the metal doors, I pushed the button with the down arrow. “There is some part of their story which resonates with me. I’m not sure how, or why. However, I feel for them, John. And I don’t want them to relive their memories if it cases them pain.”

Stepping from foot and foot, I gave up and lent against the wall. Pointing my finger down.

“I say we do it the way we did on Becca’s Island? Start from the bottom and make our way up? If you are game?”

•— John —•

“I get that… But maybe they just need to see that people come out as healthy as they were when they went into the bad.”

I knew the feeling… I had been there a matter of months, and I could barely stand to look at the burning planet. I watched her little shuffle, and I knew she was hurting. “Sounds good to me,” I said, I leaned back against the wall next to her, set my feet about a foot  away and braced myself back against the wall. I reached for Raven. “C’mon… no one is watching, lean on me,” I told her pulling her over to rest her hip against my thigh. Almost like sitting on my lap but not. “I’m a little more comfortable than the wall.” I chuckled. “Take  the pressure off, it’ll take a minute to get all the way down.” I wasn’t sure it felt different to touch her when we were alone… It felt like a violation when others were around… like they might guess my feelings for her and see something more. But when it was me and her… most of the time it just felt like she was my friend… she was in pain, and I could help. Of course, there were moments… but if I let myself think of those I would never get out of that loop.

I paused for a moment and then finally said it. “Can we skip the prison floor?” I asked. “I checked it out already and I don’t really want to go back… plus I don’t think you need to see it.”

•— Raven —•

“Yeah, I get your point for sure. I’ll bring it up with Marcus, Abby, and the others when I see them. It can’t hurt if we stick to the facts and don’t ask questions.”

John didn’t wait for me to reply before pulling me into his side. The moment i allowed the weight off my hip  I felt a rock life up and off my chest. I didn’t move away or fight him. John Murray was one of the few people in my life who had seen me at my worst, and still he stood here. No matter our issues, our problems, our ups and downs. We were going to rebuild our friendship.

Pain had become my not to silence partner in life. But I’d learnt soon after the fact, that the more space I gave it in my thoughts, the less it would let me live. So, it was always the case of pushing forward until I couldn’t take anything more.

“This reminds me of the evenings at home…. I mean… in the mansion, when you talked me into leaving the lab for the first time.” Resting my head to the side I closed my eyes before opening them again. “No matter how tight of a hold the pain had on me.

You found a way to take the pressure off a little.”

I took a deep breath, turning my eyes on John. I knew why he didn’t want to go to that level. And I wouldn’t push him to tell me more until he was ready.

“Sure, deck eight isn’t the vibe… we can go straight down  to deck ten. So much more to see in the waste disposal system anyway.” Elbowing him to say. I got you. Don’t worry.

I recalled a moment in my workshop, where John had said he would share his thoughts me later. But I pushed that away. If he remembered, he would tell me. I was sure about that.

•— John —•

Raven didn’t even hesitate about moving to lean on me… Was this it? Were we back to where we’d been in the Mansion?… I smiled thinking about it, keeping my hand on her waist I was sure that just like the Ark; the lifts of this ship were prone to sudden stops or jolts on occasion… they were all at least a century-old after all.

“It was a lot of trial and error. And ducking.” I teased. “But you’d be surprised by the number of ways you can turn a human body into a temporary chair.” I chuckled. “And you can call it home… I promise I won’t have a breakdown.” I didn’t want her censoring herself because she was worried about how I might react. “It was home. But we’ll make a new one.”

I turned to thank but she was looking at me and I swallowed hard. Remember those moments I was talking about? Yeah… “There they are,” I smirked, covering. Those little gold stars were showing in those hazel eyes again. “Feeling better?”

Then the rest of what she said hit me. “Wait! Waste disposal…. Is this the part where you float me and tell everyone it was a system failure?”

•— Raven —•

“Yeah? Maybe you need to start making a list of all the ways. See how far we can get.” Thankful for the opportunity to find some form of support right now.

“You are maybe able to hold on. But John. I can’t make the same promise. It… it felt like home…. You are right…”  I knew he would make a comment about me acknowledging him being right. However here we were. “After so long… we found a place to stay where nobody wanted kill us each night… well… kinda…”

Frowning a little, I tilted my head. “There who is?” What had he seen that I hadn’t? And then I burst out laughing so hard!!

“Oh… please! I wouldn’t float you. Where is the fun in that? Keeping you with me is a way better way to torture you.”

•— John —•

“Vital medical research.” I nodded, very serious. Then laughed.

I let out a breath… “I’m not too sure I believe it just yet. But I’m trying… and as #Lizzie says… I have my girls.” I chuckled, poking my fingers into her waist indicating she was one of the girls the army medic so easily called 𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕖. “And… I’m trying.” I said it again… because… well there wasn’t anything else to say. It seemed like there was no end to the trying, no matter what #Jackson told me.

I ignored her question with a cheeky grin… knowing that another conversation about her eyes might send me to that place again. She was having fun…. Hurting, but having fun. She had to learn how to feel both at once; because one of those things wasn’t ever going away.

“So kinky Reyes!” I teased her when she mentioned torture. “I mean…  they always say the nerdy ones have the wildest streaks… but you just take it too far.” The red number nine scrolled by on the screen above the door. I wrapped my arm all the way around her and held on a little tighter as the lift clunked down to ten and stopped with only a light jolt.

•— Raven —•

“Your girls?” I asked with a raised brow. He had girls? When his poked me it clicked what #Lizzie must have meant, making me laugh.

There were times when the woman had watched the closeness of our group, and I had caught the moment smiling. Proud that we are a people could  still relate to the realisation of having someone to care for, and who cared for us.

Laughing I shimmied in his arms. “We only have our kinks to keep us company on dark nights, John… don’t knock them until you try some.” Giving him comedic kissy lips laugh. This was us… where we had come… the distance we had travelled together as friends. We were finding our way back!

His hands around me, brought my face to him and then above the doors, seeing the ride down was coming to its end.

Taking a moment to breathe and gather my willpower. “Here we go. No don’t go screaming if something jumps out at you.” Warning him was funny too.

Straightening up once the elevator came to a still and the door slid open.

•— John —•

I mushed her lips again when she pulled that face and laughed… Just in time too… Sure I was trying hard to be her friend… but wriggling against me like that? I was only human after all. But that face was so comical I laughed… seeing her have this much fun was long overdue.   Today… the night we shared the ice cream… she was smiling again. Laughing. Living. And doing it while taking her pain in stride.

It was all I wanted for her. Well, that and some kind of miracle to take away her pain, at least the pain in her body… the other kind; I wasn't sure either of us would ever fully be rid of that.

“Oh!! So that’s what you do at night?” I teased her. “You volunteering? Because I have roommates… I’m not sure they would appreciate the  𝕥𝕣𝕪 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖 part.” I laughed. Because it was what we did… the weird, utterly  ridiculous pseudo-flirting.

I put a hand on her back until she was on her feet, then let her be. “If something jumps out at me Reyes… I’m tossing you at it and legging it.” I laughed. We both knew there was no way… we were well past that… but I was much too good of a joke not to use it. I had literally been shot at trying to save her from danger… which was kinda fair… considering… well, you know. I actually shot her.

But in the Spirit of… jovial cowardice… I waited in the lift and motioned to her.

“As always, Rey.” I winked. “Ladies first!”

•— Raven —•

“Wait. Volunteering for what exactly?” Looking towards the door and then him. Recognition dawned upon me the moment I said the words, making me grin.

With a flat palm to his face, I playfully pushed his face to the side. “John boy…. You wouldn’t survive the night if I did. So, let’s not pretend you wouldn’t have the time of your life trying to stay alive.”

Pushing off I took two steps back before facing the long dark corridor as the lights began to come on with a loud switch sound as each one came on.

“Now… that’s not going to be a problem at all. I was planning of tripping you over. I don’t need to be fast, just faster than the slowest person. So, good to know neither of us needs to live with the consequences and guilt if the other person is knocked off.”

I knew it was far from the truth. I wouldn’t leave him alone. Not again. Not ever.

“Come on slow coach, we had a ship to explore, and monsters to banish.”

•— John —•

I laughed and licked her palm when she pushed me, trying to bite her finger before she pulled away. “Stop threatening me with a good time, Reyes. We both know you’re all talk.”

“Ouch!!!” I clutched my chest like I was wounded and like I hadn’t said the exact same thing to her. I followed her out of the lift… I froze. The flickering lights along the hallway were a little too like the dream where I was running to find her, and the hallway never seemed to end. I shook my head… I was awake… Raven was right there walking and talking.

I knew that  neither of us would ever leave the other behind again… and despite the vast difference in our feelings for one another; this was for the exact same reasons… we’d come through too much. It wasn’t because I was in love with her that I couldn’t leave her behind… it wasn’t because I kept her alive that she wouldn’t leave me behind. It was because right now… we were keeping each other alive.

I clapped my hands together, swallowing my idiotic thoughts and matching her speed. “Let’s go be monster hunters!” I laughed.

“So, I never saw the waste  disposal on the Ark…. Is it just a giant airlock?” I needed to keep my mind busy.

•— Raven —•

“Shut up, Watcher. One of these days you’ll learn how I’m not all talk. And then you’ll wish it was all a joke!” Giving another once of my shoulder shakes as I walked down the corridor. “Clearly forgotten about the Manson pranks I helped with.” 

Giving him the ‘I’m watching you.’ Gesture with my fingers…

Coming to a stopped I glanced over the doors to either side of the hallway, wondering where to even begin. Until I remembered. “My note book!”

Patting my jump suit, I found it in a back pocket pulling it out. “ Waste disposal? You weren’t even assigned down there? Big shock.” Shaking my head as i thumbed through the pages.

“They wouldn’t have let anyone without hight levels of Clarence down there. Because…” looking over towards him as I spoke. “They turned Trash-to-Gas. It was a good way to use a thermal degradation process to, convert waste items into a gas that the crew could either reuse onboard or dispose of via gas venting overboard the spacecraft. It meant we used absolutely everything and didn’t go  polluting space where possible.” Not adding the fact that they floated people like we were disposable by the end of our life on the Ark. 

Finding the page I was looking for.

“Here we go. Right so on this deck we have:

Transport drop.

Waste disposal  

The Shuttle Control Room

A Landing Pad

Some Workshops… oh I so want to see those…

An Escape Pods and the Cargo Bay… think there may be some more of that ice cream stuff in there?” I asked.

•— John —•

I laughed. I would have said prove it… but she wasn’t what someone would call shy. If she called my bluff I had no idea how I might react. “I’m still hearing nothing but threats of a good time.” I teased. Teasing was safe, teasing was our thing.

I gave her a sultry twirl when she the 𝕖𝕪𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕟 𝕞𝕖 gesture, giving her a nice little arse wiggle as I did too. “See what you're missing out on Reyes!” I laughed harder now then I coughed. “Geek!” and patted my chest when she took out the notebook.

I scoffed. “They put me on janitorial for my internship, Raven… not that it mattered, I was in the skybox a year later.” I chuckled at her revelation… thinking back on the old movies, they would show sometimes. “Do you think people from before the Cataclysm ever imagined that waste disposal would become a high-security job? They threw everything out all the time.”

I rolled my eyes… because before she mentioned high-level clearance waste disposal sounded like the most boring thing on this level. “But you’ve gotten me all worked up for waste disposal now! You aren’t a tease are you, Rey?” I waggled my brow like I wanted her to say yes and grinned.

•— Raven —•

I didn’t know if John had a death wish, or the need to poke at the bear. But I so wanted to smack his arse when he shook it at me. You got lucky that I was out of reach, and couldn’t be doing to moving in closer just now.

“I’m a proud Geek, thank you so much for  recognising my potential.” Bowing my head, because there was no way I could do a full curtsy.

Closing the notebook, I folded it in half pushing it back into the pocket it came out of.

I actually thought about his question.  “I mean they must have been thinking around it at some point, right?”

Glancing around and then back at him. “There were those, who tried to consume less, and pollute the planet less. They would be happy to see we managed to do more with waste production?” Pointing up.

“I’ve been looking over the inmate files for here... Some of them on here were what they called activists. They went to the extreme to bring action to the dangerous situation the planet was in…. So… you know…”

Shrugging  my shoulders, before I stopped all I was doing and saying, stepping into him with a deadpan expression.

“Oh… John… Murphy… I’m the biggest tease you will ever see.” Poking my tongue out at him and laughing my head off. I knocked my shoulder into his.

“Come on…. Let’s keep walking.”

•— John —•

I knew she going to say that. She was proud of how hard she worked to get where she was and proud of it; as she should be.

“Yeah, I’m sure there were a lot of people trying to fix it. Just not enough of them I suppose…” I scoffed a laugh. “Figures, doesn’t it? Locking people up for trying to save the world.” I shook my head.

“Careful! If there’s a solar flare your face will get stuck like that.” I repeated the thing the grow-ups used to tell us on the Ark when we pulled faces. I followed her down the hallway, there weren’t any doors for a long way. So the rooms down here had to be pretty big. Unlike the other levels with a door every few feet.

“Did you say there was a cargo hold… Like supplies… or whatever they were mining? It would make sense for the mined material to be down here, wouldn’t it? Easier to unload when they land on Earth. My head stayed on the swivel… then moved to Raven to check on how deep her limp was… but when she was in adventurer mode, she seemed to forget her pain… and I wasn’t sure it was a good thing… it had to catch up with her eventually.

“Slow down a little, Rey… this isn’t a race. Unless you're that eager to get out of my company?” I teased; I knew it was ridiculous. She’d decided to go exploring with me at the very bottom of the ship. She had plenty of chances to politely part company… but she had chosen to spend her free time with me.

•— Raven —•

“I’d still be beautiful and more importantly intelligent.” Tapping the side of my head. “Maybe not as intelligent as I was on the island… but I still have a few boom sticks to prove my point.”

Of course… I wouldn’t use explosives on board, and no… I didn’t bring any with me… but the threat was just funny to use now.

Rolling my eyes and slowing my step. There was an underlying sense of urgency whenever I set out to achieve something. Planning… Creating… or exploring. It brought out my inner child.

I smiled remembering how #Finn would go out of his way on days my mom was having a bad time. Finding silly things, he could turn into something mysterious or adventurous, just so I would take him on a hunt around the Ark to find the answers.

Reaching out I curled my arm around Johns, walking step in step with him.

“I don’t know what they kept down here, which is why we’re here. My search so far hadn’t been successful in finding the contents of the hold. But my thoughts were going down the same direction as yours. They were a mining company ship… they were on their way back… so… I would expect a full load?”

I turned my hazel eyes to look at him, playfully punching the arm I held onto. “Sure, this is how I act when I want to get away from someone?” He knew better. He had witnessed me running away! Even joined me at times.

•— John —•

I stopped walking. “Rey… you are way smarter now than you were with the code in your brain… You’re surviving. Not trying to kill yourself in search of some other cause. You are fighting for all of us, but for yourself too. And whatever keeps you alive, will always be the smarter choice.” I shook my head at the words that spilled out without my consent. “Because if you die we are all fucked… And we both know you're beautiful.” I winked at her so she would believe it was just more flirty banter.

Then the last part of what she said dawned on  me. “Let’s not play with boom sticks on the century-old spaceship… at least not until the planet is fit for human habitation again.”

I smiled when she linked her arm around mine and patted her arm, half teasing, half affectionate. “Good plan… you don’t know how to take it easy. This way all you have to do is match your pace with mine.” She explained what she had… or rather hadn’t learned, about the cargo hold. “Damn, now I don’t know if I want to visit the highly restricted waste disposal or the mysterious cargo bay first.”

There were those  bright gold rings around her iris again, beaming at me. I smiled. “It’s my animal magnetism.” I chuckled. “You can’t help but want to be close to me. It’s not your fault… I’m just so gorgeous that you can’t control your subconscious.” I chuckled and we walked until we were  faced with a sign. ‘Cargo Bay with an arrow one way and ‘Waste Disposal’ with an arrow in the opposite direction.

“Decisions, decisions, Reyes… What is it gonna be?”

•— Raven —•

“I know I’m intelligent, Watcher. I… well... you know. I wish I was as fast as I was down there.” Holding my finger in the air. “However, not missing the so-called naps, and the reaper stick.” Laughing now that he’d given me the exact reaction, I’d expected about setting  off the boo. Sticks.

Giving him a deep low and soft sigh before bursting out in laughter. “Animal magnetism? Aren’t you the one who was about to be eaten by the monster in the water? That’s how much the animals were supposedly attracted towards you.”

Right away I buried all of the flashing images and emotions coming rushing at me at 100 mph. What was I even thinking? Actually, this is proof that I wasn’t thinking! Being with him always made me relax, to the point where I didn’t have any guards up, which meant not being able to think clearly.

Shaking my head. “Scratch that… i really don’t want to hear any jokes about you becoming monster bait.”

“Is it really even a debate?” Pointing in the direction of the cargo bay. Come on, John. You want to see what is in there? Think about all the stories a trip in you could inspire you to tell all your new friends?” Those kids were intrigued and besotted by him.

“You know we can see if we could find more treasures and treats!” Why was I even trying to entice him? I just began  dragging him down the corridor, with the lights going out behind us, and more coming on in front.

•— John —•

This was a sentiment that we didn’t share… on the island, the code; it terrified me. “Well, I’m sorry that you miss it… but I can’t pretend I do… every time you came out with another brilliant, unthinkable plan, it frightened me… I thought… this will be the one…” The one that kills you… those words were left unsaid.

I rubbed my arm at the mention of that creepy sea creature. The scar was still thick and gnarly. Not that it was the only one I had… or even the worst. “Yeah, let’s put a hold on the nap talk too, we can save that for a wild night and a sugar crash.”

Before I could even get a word in, she was dragging me down the hallway. I laughed and looked back at the clunks behind me. The lights were switching off behind us. “Well, that's not ominous,” I muttered, looking back. Then I turned my attention  back to Raven. “Cargo bay it is! I laughed, matching my pace to hers… then slowing it, she was practically running again. “Will you slow down for once in your life, woman!” I teased her.

“Also… about that... the kids, I mean… I'm not so sure that we should encourage them to call me Seda.” I remembered the moments before we left the classroom. “It's a term of respect… an honour to the grounders. I don’t think that they would like their children using it with Skaikru… The kids just see someone teaching them numbers they don’t realise the depth of it.

Lights flashed to life ahead of us and I had to blink away the images of my dreams once more. I tightened my arm around Raven’s. I'm reminded myself:

I'm awake.

She's here.

We’re both alive.

She’s here. She’s here.

•— Raven —•

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪…

He didn’t have to complete the sentence, for me to hear, and understand where he is coming from. I knew I messed up the moment I said it. I had been selfish in a way to give life to that thought which I knew was ridiculous. I was on a path towards death when the code was in my head. Each day could have been my last, #Abby had placed John in charge of looking after me while I worked. So, he had a front row seat to the decline of my capacity to maintain my sanity. And now, now I was telling him I missed that time and the opportunity to use the code like some lost lover? What was wrong with Me?

“I’m, sorry! I didn’t mean to romanticise what happened to me. I just….” Then I shook my head. I wouldn’t justify my mistake. So I said “I’m sorry.”

Glancing back with him again, “it’s to save power. It’s one of the main reasons why this ship is in working condition right now. Without anyone away to keep it afloat, things like that.” I pointed back over my shoulder. “Helped the ship going.” Once again, my voice had a note of surprise. “And with such basic coding and software too…. Amazing how it all words together.”

Without realising I’d sped up my pace, but John was right there to slow me down so that I wouldn’t injure myself. I did as I was told, because it would all still be there,  even if it took us five minutes more to reach it.

“Wait… why?” I asked. “Seda means teacher... and if you are teaching them something, then why…” Then I remembered. John had spent more time with the grounders. “You didn’t ask them to call you Seda, John. The children  bestowed the title upon you. I don’t believe it’s disrespectful. But... you tell me. Why do you feel this way?”

Then without warning his hands tightened. “Hey… Watcher…” Placing my other hand over his. “ I’m right here with you… We are together…” Whispering with slow calm breathing.

“Tell me what’s going on?” Concern filling my eyes.

•— John —•

I shook my head. I was ridiculous. Wasn’t I supposed to be learning to do better in my head-shrinking classes… I mean… therapy sessions. “No… I’m sorry, Raven. It happened to you… not me. You should be able to process that in any way you want to.” I pulled myself together. “I was there for most of it, you should and you can talk to me about it.”

“Hmm…” I had turned back to the darkness behind us. It was at least ten feet behind us so it really shouldn’t have mattered… right? I processed her words, at last. “Oh yeah, I know…” She was nerding  out again and I tried to watch her and not the light clicking to life ahead of us and vanishing behind us. I focused on the word #Seda.

“It’s just… It’s used with respected members of their communities, leaders and elders… seasoned warriors that take apprentices… some  like Delano may be okay but others might not take it so well.” I tilted my head. “I’ll talk to #Luna about it… see what she thinks.” She would have the best instincts. “I know the kids don’t mean to disrespect their own people… but the adults might…”

The clunking of the lights slowed as we did. My heart wasn’t as quick to slow its pace.

Her hand was on mine again and… my heart stopped… just for the span of a few beats… or maybe my brain shut down? That seemed more likely because there was my heart again, still hammering away. “Um… did you remember the medical level in the bunker… the room with the…” Where the tank was. Just say the words!

“The lights in the corridor… they were like this… turned on in front and off behind you… My… eh… Sometimes… most times. In my nightmares, I’m in the corridor but the lights just keep flickering on and on and there is no end.” I told her all of this without hesitation… But I couldn’t give her more horrors to add to her dreams, the image of her half-frozen dead body. She had plenty of her own trauma, she didn’t need mine.

“But I’m  okay… Or… I’m almost okay. In my dream I’m alone… I’m now, I’m awake… you are proof of that.” I touched her arm, wanting to assure her that I was going to be fine. “Just keep having your geek attack about energy efficiency…. It's oddly comforting.”

•— Raven —•

I didn’t tell him not to apologise, there was no point. We’d been here before; John and I both knew how to handle guilt. As in we held on to it hard! This was no different. We’d end up giving in and paying lip service, and I didn’t want that for our friendship.

We were going to do this right. It was a promise I would keep and bring him along with me.

When I came out of my thoughts, my eyebrows pulled together at how John’s demeanour had been affected by… what? He was looking over his shoulders. So, I did the same. Glancing back, but no one was there. Nothing looked out of place.

“Uhmm.. yeah…” I agreed with him. “Yeah. Luna would know how to deal with this situation without being offended by what the children have said.” Okay, I understood now where his trepidation stemmed from. I couldn’t handle it anymore; I’d been about to stop him walking. To ask him what was wrong or ask him if there was something down here giving him some form of anxiety. However, John began sharing of his own accord. Without prompting, or questioning, or even threatening  him with a boom stick!

But this is when my heart sank. My feet slowed even further as he spoke and came clean over what was going on in his mind. I was stunned into silence. Parts of his fears came freely, he was sharing, and I was listening without any judgment.

I wanted to drop his hand and draw John into an embrace, to hold my friend and show him I was here. Instead, I squeezed the hand he’d motioned towards. Half smiling, thankful I had made the correct decision when following him out of the makeshift classroom.

This is where I was meant to be. Because I was one or the reasons for this fear of his… Hells!  “I’m not going to give you false hope and say it will pass. But I am going to say… as long as I am breathing, you’ll always have me, and my geeky brain to help draw you free from your nightmares.” And I would do something about these lights, as soon as I knew what and how to work it all.

•— John —•

She stopped and listened, she heard everything I was saying. She always made the time to hear me out. She was going to draw a parallel with that corridor and her crazy, reckless, miracle cure. I didn’t need to add the thought of me finding her body into the mix of her own nightmares.

I gave her a smile and a chuckle. “What more could a man ask for?” Those gold flecks had dulled again, and I shook myself, making a silent promise to light them up again. I knew I couldn’t tell her that she gave me more hope than she knew… that she kept the nightmares away. It wasn’t fair. She had chosen to take a room to herself, she needed her space… because of course, she did, when she was sick, she was monitored twenty-four-seven… By me and the very people I had become dependent on. The people I found myself struggling to survive without one or more of them with me. Raven… alone with her… that was different.

So, no… telling her that she was my human dreamcatcher? Not an option, I couldn’t take her hard-won independence from her. She earned it. She wanted it.

Without thinking I leaned in and brushed a light kiss to her temple and whispered. “I’m glad I have you to rely on.” Because ‘Thank you.’… no, she wouldn’t accept thanks for this, she wouldn’t want it.

But my heart was racing again. And the lights still clunked. We started to walk again; her hand still  in mine, I might have my proof I was awake right here with me… but I wasn’t about to stand still long enough to let that encroaching darkness catch up to us.

‘You know you can always come and find me too, right?… if… the dreams are… well you know.” I squeezed her hand and brushed it with my thumb. “Or maybe we should scrounge up parts for those walkies you made at the drop ship.” I tilted my head… “Would they work in space?” and then I added against and distracting from what was likely the awful idea of that kiss… “Oh my god! You are turning me into a geek now!”

•— Raven —•

I knew there was something else unsaid between us, however I trusted John enough to know when he was ready, he would tell me. Maybe it was the grounder he had feelings for?

Shit! The thought only came to me now? Maybe what John had been trying to do was go see her? And then I tagged along and here he was. In the belly of a ship, in a dark corridor reminding him of his nightmares.

Fuck! I was messing up his life before I could even strengthen our friendship again. Why the hells couldn’t I think without my heart taking over when it  came to him and #Luna?

And I was holding his hand? What if this unnamed girl saw us? Okay.. fine.. she wouldn’t down here.. but what if she saw us in the main ship? What was wrong with me?

My mind was like an apiary, without the honey with just the bees with their stings  out to hit! (Or at least that’s what it felt like from all the information in the archives I gathered.) but who really knew? Miles’s name and Lizzie came to me now……

All the craziness and the thoughts went silent when my friend kissed the side of my head. Making my head go quiet to regroup. My words were my promise to him. I would have his back from this moment forward.

“I know… I know I can come find you and Luna.” But I wasn’t going to. We all had our nightmares to live with, but Luna and John They had such a hard time with theirs. I’d never add to that darkness.

I decided to turn the conversation in a different direction. “You know how I said I got you… there’s a caveat… if you mess with Abby… you’re in your own… I’m not going to get my arse grounded to my quarters because you gave her lip.” Nudging him again as we walked.

“Oh please, you were inducted into the geek squad the day you decided to help me build the distillery back at home. And you know you loved every minute of that day too. So don’t you dare deny it now.” Smiling, because somewhere there he’d found a way to bring me back.

“Well… Technically, yes walkie talkies should work up here. And now that I think of it… Maybe they actually might work somewhat better in space than on Earth, because up here in space there are far few  obstacles obcuring line of sight between the two radios. In essence the sound waves should travel better.”

Coming to a stop before two large metal doors, which looked as though they hadn’t been opened yet. Reading the words out loud.

“ＣＡＲＧＯ ＨＯＬＤ”

•— John —•

She was doing that overthinking thing again… but it was much less scary without that sword dangling over her head. She could think all she wanted and the worst-case scenario was a headache. And possibly her working herself till she fainted… but it was easy to guilt her into eating by telling her she was setting a bad example by skipping rations.

I was about to say that this was completely fair, but then I thought about it… “No deal, Reyes!! I went up against Abby on your behalf a few times! I should get at least one credit for a major screw-up  with Abby.”

I rolled my eyes so hard I swear I heard the muscles straining. “That was just working with my hands… following instructions.” I chuckled. I remembered that day… it was a good day… easy. She was happy, still working but not on something that was going to fry her mind. I wasn’t worried… or I wasn’t as worried as I had been… I just enjoyed being with my friend. “That was a great day…” I smiled… The nightmares were pushed deep into the recesses of my mind by the memories.

“The crew of the ship must have had some kind of communication system other than those tablets, right?” I was thinking of the one Abby gave me for the rations… and how there was a way to send messages between them, the doc had sent me a few regarding changes needed in nutrition for her active patients who were still  recovering.

I stopped in front of the doors with her… “Wow…” They were huge… like tall enough for two people to walk through with one standing on the shoulders of the other and the entire width of the hall.

“What the hell were they keeping in here that the needed doors this big? They were mining on a meteor, right? They were hardly using heavy machinery…” I was thinking out loud now. I motioned to the keypad… “Do you have the code?” I knew she did…she had all the codes.

•— Raven —•

My lips curled up into a big smile. See… we could do this… we could find our way back to the good medium we had reached in the manor.

“Why do you always want to fight me and batter for everything I’m not willing to give you, Watcher?” Rolling my eyes to pretend like I was  actually thinking about it before offering… “fine. One major screw up and as a gesture of goodwill, I’ll throw in a minor repair if you mess up too?”

Nodding my head. “Yeah, there is still a lot of techs we haven’t had a chance to look at. We were on kind of a time crunch.” And that still has taken me too long to get back down to my friends and the people on Earth. I pushed those thoughts down. They were for my nightmares. Not now.

“You do know me, right? Of course I have the codes.” Waggling my shoulders and eyebrows teasing him. For a moment, we needed to take the laughs where we found them. Or at least it’s what I told myself.

Shrugging my shoulders at his question on, what was on this ship. “The full picture was painted for the curiosity of the council, and sure I’d done some digging when Griffin wasn’t happy to trust the crew who survived. But I didn’t find anything out of the ordinary… well… in the official logs anyway.” However, there was a growing sense of concern growing in the pit of my stomach.

“Why do we always expect the worst from these situations?” I asked before stepping up to the keypad to punch in the master code #Miles has shared with me.

“If anything was off, we wouldn’t have been given a free run to do what we like on this ship, right?”

Continued in part 2... Click here