#stories by equinneal

[tavallisensuruton]

then there's dark streets and a little bit of noise; or a lot. with our sobriety out the window, and the cool, damp city breeze on our faces, i imagine kissing you to the sound of car horns and the hum of streetlights that shine a familiar hue of take-me-home amber. keep your hands where they are; around me, i mean. it’s good and safe, and somehow i love you even more when smoke and air surround us so hard we suffocate.

— published as part of On Nights Like These, the Sun Won't Go Down by equinneal

[tavallisensuruton]

“I could never fall in love with anyone.” Her wild eyes looked at him defiantly and that’s when conversation paused between them. He regarded her with sharp, warm eyes that glowed blue in the faded sunlight. “Yes, you could.” His words struck a chord within her, and although her face betrayed no emotions, her eyes spelled acceptance. “I know it,” he spoke, turning away. Her eyes focused on a strand of ash brown hair that had escaped to hang loosely over his forehead; was this what divinity looked like? Again, he turned to face her and their eyes met, and suddenly, she felt absolutely parched. He smiled. “We both do.”

— published as part of On Nights Like These, the Sun Won't Go Down by equinneal

[tavallisensuruton]

i. On nights like these, the sun won't go down.

ii. It's almost midnight and she's looking out the window, thinking about what it would be like to spend her evenings with him, outside in the bright summer night. She imagines them walking down the street that passes by her house, eternity at its doorstep. No one else is around for miles, and the whole world is theirs. All of it.

iii. It's an unnamed night and the dying sun colors the sky red; he tells her he likes the way it shines with the clouds. She's shining too. He loves it. They stop at the bridge where she first realized she loved him, and this time, he knows too.

iv. It's the night after graduation. The sun is barely hidden behind the skyline, and she thinks she sees its light slowly seeping through the cracks in the sidewalk. It's not too warm and it's not too cold, and the wind is kissing their necks and they're kissing each other.

v. It's still just midnight and she's still just looking out the window, thinking about what it would be like to spend her evenings with him, out in the warm summer night. And after, eventually, she wants to sleep and to dream her dreams away.

vi. But on nights like these, the sun won't go down.

— published as part of On Nights Like These, the Sun Won't Go Down by equinneal

[tavallisensuruton]

“But you do miss me, though.” It was a statement but something about his tone and the nervous quirk of his eyebrows told her he’d meant it as a question. “Maybe a little,” she replied, holding his gaze with her own, her eyes awake and very much in love, although back then, she didn’t yet know. He did, however, and as many would agree, being privy to such information was as much a hinderance as it was an advantage. Still, there was a little bit of sunshine in his eyes. “That’s enough for me.”

— published as part of lonEly heArts cLub by equinneal

[tavallisensuruton]

that morning, you came in with those wild eyes, dark brown hair and a killer smile, and you turned my whole goddamn world upside down.

how dare you, i thought. how dare you make me feel so lost in your presence. how dare you make me feel so small and scared; scared of your beauty and afraid of your words.

imagine my surprise when you, after copious amounts of a curious mix of heartache and moonshine, kissed me and told me you'd wanted to, since the day we met. me too, babe. me too.

my old stereo was playing chelsea cutler on a loop as you fed me your past on a silver platter, promising to make the present so much better. i didn't ask about tomorrow, though. we'd make the future our own, together.

it's like you said; every sunrise and sunset from tomorrow until the end of our days will be ours. we just have to wake up in time.

that day was also when i realized i love you.

— published as part of lonEly heArts cLub by equinneal

[tavallisensuruton]

"You'll have no past." There was a distinct look or wariness in his eyes as they cascaded down from her eyes to her smile. "You'll have no future."

Her hands held his but she would say nothing. He'd always known why.

"All you have is the present." He was but a ghost now, translucent and dim. The smoke from his cigarette drifted right through him, and as she watched him, he took one last drag and smiled. "So do with it as you please."

— published as part of lonEly heArts cLub by equinneal

[tavallisensuruton]

i'm merging onto the memory lane when tears prick at my eyes like daggers; they bring to mind you and your heavy heart. it rains on and off for seconds upon minutes upon hours, before finally, a honey-glazed sun comes over the horizon to welcome me home.

the apartment is much bigger this time around; it doesn't suit me well. mystery and loss hang heavy in the air and only silence bothers to hang around to keep me company. your old, well-worn notepad sits abandoned on the desk, stubbornly beckoning me closer. for a small moment i can almost imagine your fingers tracing faded words onto its pages.

i'd write about anything, i think. but today, only about you.

— published as part of lonEly heArts cLub by equinneal

[tavallisensuruton]

on a warm spring night sometime in the 1760s you led me through your grandfather's back garden and showed me how to kiss like a god. it's been forever since then.

a crisp autumn breeze, which told the forboding tale of the harshest winter in the 1850s, silently tousled your dark hair as you whispered promises of a lavish futute into my ear. it's been centuries since then.

on a bleak winter night, your hand found my cheek and your fingers brushed my lips in the dark, as we hid underground, from the wild and deadly chaos of 1940s London. it's been decades since then.

you talked a lot about how you'd love to get to know the universe yourself, and i saw it in your eyes; you'd always been one with the cosmos. it's been days since then.

but the whens don't matter. it's like i said; in the grand scheme of things, all that history was really only yesterday.

— published as part of lonEly heArts cLub by equinneal

[tavallisensuruton]

dansaert

She'd like a dog and some plants and a cozy little place somewhere in Dansaert. A house that breathes mystery and where the paint on the walls is so perfectly faded it all feels very timeless.

Perhaps it would be a very godless place.

The simmering ashes of last spring's love letters would flood her apartment with the daunting scent of history and maybe even that of a careful, costly victory.

Costly? Yes, far too costly. Far too painful. Still, it's better than no change at all.

But it’s the kind of victory that's best suffered in silence.

— published as part of lonEly heArts cLub by equinneal

[tavallisensuruton]

"I am in love," he whispered. "Did you know that?"

"I am in love with a girl but I don't deserve her. She deserves so much more than kisses laced with war and death. She deserves so much more than to look into somber eyes every time she's s told she is loved."

He turned his gaze towards the crumbling towers of the ancient castle that had once been home to noble and distinguished people. The years had truly not been kind, and it was now nothing more than a shadow of its former glory, abandoned and forgotten. Much like him.

"She deserves so much more than me."

— published as part of lonEly heArts cLub by equinneal

[tavallisensuruton]

luthor

The much too extravagant streetlights under which people gathered, wallowing in the artificial glow that shone with a sense of absurd validity which only sought to fix those who could not fix themselves, were an accurate representation of what had, in the days way past her innocence, become of my dear friend, Azalea Luthor.

— published as part of lonEly heArts cLub by equinneal

[tavallisensuruton]

Our story will not fall apart if you kiss me once, darling. And maybe twice, or thrice or a thousand times after, again and again and again until we become each other anew. So, would you like to hold my gaze and close your eyes and kiss me sweeter than ever before, so we could write another chapter into this book of life we'll share indefinitely?

— published as part of On Nights Like These, the Sun Won't Go Down by equinneal

[tavallisensuruton]

You, my darling, were a lonely soul. Does it not hurt to see the world crumble at your feet? And here I am, thinking that I love you.

You could come back and help me tell our story. I could lie and so could you, and we could tell everyone that it was good. And perhaps in our wildest dreams that was true; back when you still tasted of June and the summer, and sunshine had made your smile its home. Our hands were warm but worn with life, and we loved that about us. I always loved it about you.

You now taste of September though, and old mornings that die when the night comes, unexpected and wild. We were wild once too; a foxtrot of stars on the eternal ceiling of our world. But my lungs froze and your kiss wasn't warm enough. It wasn't about me.

My love, it was your story. Who was I to taint it with all those somber words that flowed from the misty ink of my pen. Who was I to cry when you kissed me goodbye.

Who was I to love you?

— published as part of lonEly heArts cLub by equinneal